Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep490 - Sex and Relationships Podcasts
Episode Date: February 1, 2024This week's competition is all about sex and relationships. Lucy found Christians who are into BDSM and they do it the way it was meant to be done according to the bible. I brought in a show about not... jerking it to porn, as if that's a thing. Andy did a deep dive exploration of Lana Rhoades. It's quite a journey. Lana went from a porn star who taught other women how to do anal to a poor victim who barely made $1.5M from an NFT scam... ALLEGEDLY! After the competition (don't forget to vote on our Patreon page) we move on to a cringe of the week featuring some amazing banter. Then we check in on Tom Myers who actually wrote something I would classify as a joke. But just one. And how did Tom find a cohost who is actually dumber and less funny than him? Also, Stuttering John had his heart broken by a woman who he's never met in person and only found out about a month or two ago. He's such a lonely, sad man. Which is fine, but that's the part of your life you should try to hide. Also, Cardiff joins us along with Annie as we poke a dabbler, read some reviews, and listen to the guys simp for Lucy on the voicemail segment. Tickets to the live show! – http://watplive.com https://www.youtube.com/@OnceOverwithCayley https://www.instagram.com/allapologiespodcast Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Alright, let's... we're having fun. Let's get into it. Let's start the show. I have a special intro
from
our buddy Doug from the Jingles Department.
Episode four nighting!
Relationships are stupid. With sexy results.
Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what I misspain- What are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize.
By the way, for those people that are in the back,
remember to shut the fuck up!
What a dick!
Cuz...
Cuz a roo...
Cuz a roo...
Slapperooni.
It's showtime.
When the moon shines in King Coral
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I said, WATP. WATP. Hello, Robert Nix and Kuzzer, and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts,
the only show that doesn't slut shame, we slut respect.
I'm your host Carl, with me today, a woman we respect.
From Once Over with Kaylee, it's Lucy Typebox.
Hello.
Also with us, a man who takes it, Kate Meany style.
From the All Ap all apologies podcast it's
trucker Andy aka Andy Q public let's talk shit please go to whoarethese.com
get our email address voicemail number link to our subreddit link to the
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a lot of fun things to talk about including Corey Feldman was on the
insane clown posse show 10 years ago and it just resurfaced and it's hilarious hearing Shaggy to dope and violent J.
Try to explain to Corey Feldman that Michael Jackson's a pedophile.
It was a lot of fun.
So check that out.
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You get the links to all of these shows as well.
So please check that out.
Also, tickets are on sale for WATPLive.com.
We are in Largo, Florida, March 22nd.
And this is going to be a fun event.
We got a big theater rented out.
We're going to be in Largo with the Revenge of the Cists guys.
We're going to be there with Tukey, with Cardiff, with Andy,
with Lucy Typebox, producer Chris, Jenny Jingles, Vinny What's
his nuts. All of us are going to be there putting out a big show with
All of us are going to be there putting out a big show with additional acts to be announced in the future. So, WATPLive.com is where you can go to get those tickets.
Not a bad place to be near the end of March, the Tampa Clearwater area of Florida.
Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five star review on Apple Podcasts,
and then shit all over us in the comment section. Today, we'll be competing for the worst podcast
in the sex and relationships category.
We have each brought a different show
and you the listener will be able to vote
on which was the worst.
Let's start with the results from last week's podcast,
the worst improv comedy podcast.
Now, I didn't get the pull up until this morning.
I go, oh, shit.
I'm very busy.
The person who's most mad at me, you might think, didn't do really well.
Well, let's find out.
Coming in in second place with 41% of the vote, second place is 41 out of three
was Carl with sounds funny radio now
I think that's bullshit because I definitely should have won but it's okay. I'll take second place. I'm happy with that so
The winner is
number one coming in number one
Lucy with oosbear 55% of the votes. Lucy. Congratulations.
I'm actually shocked both your guys's podcasts sucked.
Yours was bad. It was very bad.
Well, Andy didn't deserve 5%, even though he didn't really follow the assignment.
But anytime, anytime Chris Lee and his brother are dishing out advice.
Yeah.
I think that's a good thing. How can you resist?
Yeah, I think it deserves more than one in 20.
Any other format I would have won. I agree. I agree. Except for I'm starting to see a trend here where people are voting on
Lucy depending on her outfit. So I'm going to declare that she wins today.
I'm going to go ahead and do one of these.
Yeah. I think you're going to win the competition today.
No, I got it. I got a good one today.
Andy, you're not understanding how this works.
No one gives a shit.
I don't think you're wearing the right top.
No one's listening.
I don't care.
I'm fighting fire with fire.
And he's like, I'm going to win on my merits.
He's like, he's like an Asian kid trying to get into Harvard.
He's like, no, but my grades are amazing.
Like, yeah, we don't care.
That's how this works, idiot.
All right, let's get things started
because what we do is we let the winner go first
and that means that Lucy tightbox is up first.
Let's get the competition started.
Lucy, what did you bring for the worst podcasts
in the sex and relationships category?
All right, well, we are going to be looking
at the Kinky Christian podcast. All right. Well, we are going to be looking at the kinky Christian podcast.
Oh boy. Two things that always go together, right? So we're going to have host Pat and
his slave start off their episode. This episode is called is BDSM sex.
Is this the right clip that I have here?
Is this look familiar to you?
Yeah, that looks familiar.
All right, here we go.
We're going to bring it on back, people.
Come on back.
Y'all come in.
Come on back now, you hear?
To another episode of the Kinky Christian podcast.
Somebody clearly needs an app.
Bring it on, honey.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Do you think he also plays the mandolin?
Oh yeah, no sit by the mandolin while you're sitting there.
Watch out.
You might not have enough to stand right there.
All right, Lucy wins.
Andy, what did you bring to the show today?
I feel like we should send it to Kevin Brennan
so that he can talk about it for like a week
straight or something like that.
I don't think you'd find this as embarrassing as the video that you talked about for two
weeks, but we'll get into that later, I suppose.
I think he wants a sand job, not a nap.
I explain this to me.
So what's going on?
These are Christians who are kinky for some reason?
Yes. Okay. So this is exactly how the episode that we're going to be checking out today
started. But I checked out a couple of other episodes to try to figure out what the fuck was going on.
Basically, this is a couple. The dude talks with other people. Also, it's his show. His name's Pat.
And he talks about how he makes kinky stuff function in his very Christian life.
Can I just point out for the listeners, this is the most unattractive couple you've ever seen
and I hate that these are the people who want to talk about their relationship and sex.
But as soon as I knew that they were Christian, that like out creeped their appearance to me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I do know what you mean.
It's just creepy from the get go before I even saw it.
If you saw it, they would have partied.
You'd be like, I don't want to spend a lot of time in this corner.
But then you're like, but oh, they're also Christians.
All right, I'm definitely getting the fuck out of here.
Well, if there's I went to a Catholic grade school
and there are the people that are the most into religion
always have 12 kids.
They're the most horny people
that refuse to do anything about it.
Hold on a second, Andy.
Do you think that how many kids you have
is equal to how many times you've had sex?
Well, I have no kids, so yes, I do think.
That's like stuttering John math.
Well, I've obviously had sex three times.
Carl, I think zero.
Ha ha ha ha.
Anyway, let's move on.
Track number two we're doing here, Lucy.
Track number two is going to be for people
who are just watching.
This is the title card of every episode of their podcast.
The Kinky Christian with a whip and the holy Bible.
Yup. Oh boy. The kinky Christian with a whip and the holy Bible.
Yep. Oh boy.
So we know we're in for it, right?
And again, you guys were just commenting
about their appearance.
I would like to point out that as we continue
watching these clips, you will notice that this guy's boobs
are not only bigger than mine,
they like fold over his belly in the most uncomfortable
of ways.
Oh, I was already fapping to it. I know.
I know. Yeah, I figured that was a good one.
So...
Big is bigger than yours, too.
Eee.
So neither Pat nor his slave are small people.
So before they even start talking about the topic of BDSM,
Pat is already distracted by his hunger for food.
Okay.
Food.
We should have snack time on here, but no, that's okay.
I don't want to eat in your ear.
So, BDSM.
It's the entire podcast is this slow.
Well, I just want to point out that when it comes to sex,
I don't want to talk about food.
I find that so repulsive.
These are very separate activities.
Eating and fucking should be separated by a mile.
They talk about it a lot in this episode.
Oh, God.
She was so reluctant to even be here, too.
How did she talk her into the slave?
It's a slave.
Yeah.
Oh, she never heard me.
He's a slave.
I got.
Yeah.
Wouldn't you want her as a slave?
No.
Well, yeah, for wandering shit, sure.
Yeah.
Seems great. Make some dinner.
All right. So we know the topic is supposed to be is BDSM sex.
But it turns out that Pat's slave is really, really excited to answer that question.
BDSM power exchange.
Sex or not?
Absolutely.
So that's the answer.
We can stop listening to the episode.
Totally great.
But of course, we can't really trust a slain.
So let's check out clip five, which is about 10 seconds after this interaction.
Is BDSM and power exchange relationships sex?
Or not?
Simple answer.
It's up to you.
She just answered that.
She sure did, but two answers wasn't quite enough.
Okay.
So within the first two minutes and 36 seconds of this episode, they answer the question
three times, which we will check out in clip six.
Can you have a non-sexual BDSM or Dom sub encounter. And I mean, in reality, the simple answer is, of course
you can.
Yes.
Yeah.
I hate this fucking show.
Yeah. So we now have the answers. Yes, it is sex or it's up to you. Or of course you can have a non-sexual relationship
if you want to.
Is this a question that needs to be answered?
I watched a lot of Love Line over the years.
I love Dr. Drew.
This is never something that, this is not a call-in
that I ever heard from someone.
There's no one's curious about this.
Yeah, Lucy, how many episodes have they put out?
Which one is this?
They put out, so they've been going for about a year
and they have over 40 episodes.
Okay.
This was-
Are they all this slow
or are they running for material?
Yes, they're all this slow.
They have 41 subscribers
and I was the eighth view to this video
Can I point out to I know this might be knit people's claim that I'm nitpicky from time to time that couch fucking sucks
Can we all agree on that?
It really clashes with the painting. It really does
Sucks fucking Christian way fun Shway fun sucks It sucks. Fucking Christian. Fung shui, fung shui, fung sucks.
All right, so we have already established that they are talking about BDSM in the most
boring way that you can possibly talk about it, which is one of the reasons that this
is the worst sex and relationship podcast. But they finally start to get into an interesting discussion
about if a Dom needs to trust a sub
as much as a sub needs to trust a Dom.
However, Pat is going to get a little bit derailed
in this conversation in clip seven.
Yes.
That is huge, you know.
that that is that is huge, you know, um, however, because of the difference in relationship as far as,
um, it's never going to end. So do you think these guys brag at church about how they have a naughty podcast?
And they're like, oh, you guys watch. Have you ever watched our podcast? Watch out. It's pretty crazy. And then someone tunes in. They're just like, this is the lamest. Even Christians are going,
this is the lamest bullshit I've ever seen. What are you doing? I'd rather go to church.
doing. I'd rather go to church. Right. Yeah. That's saying something, man.
So he is a little derailed. They get lost in a lot of their conversations. So one of the things that he does in order to try to get themselves back on track is to make an analogy, which is going to be clip eight. So like with your garbage,
the people putting their garbage out,
have a much point out.
The name of this clip was garbage analogy.
I thought you meant the analogy was garbage.
But he's literally talking about garbage.
I thought you said, yeah, wait for it, Carl.
It could still be a garbage. I'm sure it will be, but I just, I wasn't ready for that. I thought he was talking about
her vagina. He's taken out the trash, man. So like with your garbage, the people putting their
garbage out have a much bigger trust and connection hoping
that this garbage man is gonna pick up their garbage because if they don't
this garbage is just gonna continue to pile up the garbage man picking it up
it's just a job to him he's just picking up everyone's garbage and moving along it
it does not affect him near as much if he doesn't pick up your garbage
He's gonna go home and sleep that night and be just fine. Whereas you're like crap now. We got all this garbage
What am I gonna do about it?
What was it like
Okay, no point his point was that the Dom sub relationship is similar to the relationship between a garbage man and somebody who owns
Garbage I've never seen my garbage man
Ejaculate while picking up the garbage. I think it's a little bit different. I have but you know
Hubble Bragg
Yeah
All right, so we're gonna forget about the garbage in clip 9.
Okay, forget about the garbage.
Oh, okay.
I'm the trash man!
Okay.
Please, let's move on from the fucking garbage analogy.
We're trying to have sexy sex talk time.
What's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You might notice that there's been almost no sex talk, and in addition to that we have
not yet talked about Christianity. Yeah, You might notice that there's been almost no sex talk. And in addition to that, we have not yet talked about Christianity.
Yeah. So none of the things that I have been promised. So that has been in the BDSM.
That has been in the BDSM world for a really long time. I think he mentioned in another podcast since the 90s. So you would think that he would know a lot about this world. Let's find out in clip 11.
you would think that he would know a lot about this world. Let's find out in clip 11.
Correct.
Right?
Correct.
And when we do our scenes, most of them are non-sexual.
That's not the clip that I wanted to play there.
The next one is 10.
Do you wanna see 10 instead of 11?
Yeah, let's do that.
Okay.
I don't know if you noticed you have professional doms.
I don't think I've ever seen a professional sub.
So again, this podcast sucks. It's slow. It's not kinky. It's not Christian. However,
he is also insanely wrong that there are no professional subs all I had to do was Google and I found a vice article a
Cosmopolitan article a huff post article
So all the hackiest of hack news sources are even aware of this
So you're saying that maybe they're not the authority on this subject matter is that what you're telling me?
I don't think that there are the authority on anything other than food. Yeah, I was gonna say snack time
I want to back up to where they said when we do our scenes.
What does that mean and who is that for?
Who wants that?
Nobody.
No, it's true.
So when they say that in clip 11,
we'll skip over clip 11,
but I'll tell you what they're talking about here.
They say when we do our scenes most of them are
non-sexual right
So what they're saying is that when they're doing BDSM?
They're not doing sexy stuff, which means that I imagine he's like go make me a sandwich bitch like
These two that anything you have to do with sex. So okay, that makes sense
He's in chaps taking out the garbage. He pulls on a whip. He's like, hey, can you put this away for me?
All right, so we in addition to not experiencing anything fun about BDSM we have the Herod no Christianity
We have heard the answer to is BDSM sex three times.
Pat is going to now bring up the topic
of extramarital dom relationships.
So now we expect things to get a little bit saucy in clip 12.
Oh, I'm not saying we would do that.
To me, from a Christian standpoint, you are now stepping outside the marriage in an intimate way
Even if you allow it as the husband correct
Because it's not about what I allow it's about what God allows
All right, I don't know the Bible that well, but I don't think there's a lot of rules around this type of behavior
With the Bible that well, but I don't think there's a lot of rules around this type of behavior with the Bible itself
Now is it's John 3 14 God is an ultimate Dom
He's the authority on this one
this one. We already know that they're probably thinking a whole bunch about about food. So in clip 13, we are going to hear more about food. Lucy, I know that
this show that you reviewed is very slow, but can we fucking move this along?
This is unfucking believable. We're going through right now. What are we
looking for here? What's going on?
No, nothing exciting happens.
This is the whole show.
It's this horrible the whole way through, damn it.
This week for the first time, I'm not voting for you.
Carl's like, please don't find the worst show ever.
And he showed you the best show ever.
And then I found the worst show ever.
Have you guys never heard of a horror podcast before?
All right, anyway, here's your next clip.
Suffer through it.
I need a Snickers.
You need a Snickers.
Oh my God.
Snickers and maybe you need a beating tonight.
No.
Oh boy.
He's pretty opposed to being the sub.
But on the plus side, I've made you all my subs by making you listen to them.
Yes.
I feel that way right now.
Yeah. You're welcome. I'm actually very all my subs by making you listen to them. Yes, I feel that way right now. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You're welcome.
I'm actually very excited about these pirates
that you're gonna encounter next week
when you're on vacation.
Whatever you were talking about earlier,
I don't remember anymore.
Oh.
And that's when I was murdered.
All right, let me, I don't even know where we're going anymore
because it sucks again.
I'm dead and fine.
I know, you have a conclusion that you're, where we're going anymore because it sucks again. I'm dead and fighting.
I know, you have a conclusion.
Where are we going?
What are we doing?
All right, well, we'll just go to the conclusion, clip 16.
So anyway, sexual or not?
Yes. Yes, it's sexual and it's not.
Oh, God, great.
Super productive. We learned so much during this podcast, didn't we?
See these are people and this is what is so annoying about the internet and I wish the internet didn't exist
Because assholes like this think they should be at it. Yeah, these are the types of people who are like, oh, no
You shouldn't be interacting with humans in any capacity whatsoever. Yeah, but we should probably have a following on the internet, right? No, stop
it. You're terrible at this. All right, let's move on. I want to present to you since Andy
got last place, he's going to go last. Is that the way we do it? I think so. I don't
know. I want to talk to you about the show that I checked out in the Sex and Relationships podcast category and it starts like this.
Nothing compares. Nothing compares to you.
I wasn't done yet. I wasn't done yet, Matthew. Sorry. Wait, wait for it.
No, Slow release.
Welcome to Men's Junk.
That's right.
I reviewed a show called Men's Junk hosted by Matthew and Sebastian.
And the episode I checked out is called the No FAP explosion.
Lucy, familiar with the No FAP movement?
I am. OK. Do you-fap movement? I am.
Okay.
Do you want to explain it?
Some people, but slowly, please explain it slowly.
You got to save it up so it's real good.
Yeah.
I saved a batch.
I got a date landed tonight,
so I want to save up my batch.
Let me read the description of this podcast.
It says, welcome to Men's Junk, talking about fringe male topics seldom talked about for
the benefits of all society.
Men and women included exclamation points.
And nofap of course is this idea that you stop watching porn, stop jerking off because
it builds up your testosterone and you get more shit done.
So we're talking about NoFap.
Now, to be honest, I think I've been pretty excited
to talk about this.
It's just this-
Yeah, me too.
Oh, so they're excited to talk about it
because who isn't excited?
Who isn't excited to talk about the NoFap revolution
that's taking place.
Because I go to work and then I watch TV and then I self-soothe and then I feel better.
And as you know, society tells me that if I make money, then everything will be okay.
That's how it works, right?
Yes.
Okay, good.
Just check it.
So quick little redefinition, if you haven't heard of nofap and the fact that we were clapping our hands. It's nofap is a, I want to call it a movement at this
point. Yeah. Yeah.
It's kind of a lack of movement in my opinion. So when he said self sooth, doesn't that mean
jerking off? Yes.
That's what I picked up on too.
That's what we're gonna find out here is that,
well, there's actually a lot to unpack with these two
because Matthew and Sebastian aren't just any two losers
doing a podcast together.
By the way, who raised their hands here?
Who thought these were two women
when the show first started,
they were singing Nothing Compares to You?
As soon as they finally were both men, I was like I was like what what I had no idea that was the case
So I don't think that they have any credentials
I don't think they have any standing in any of this and then I hear this is the shame
Oh wait this are you a bone? Nope this
brain a little bit, Matthew, because being a therapist,
you're telling me that when you have someone
that comes into your office and they have issues with this,
this is something that you've kind of have to parse through.
Absolutely, because they'll come to session
and kind of right off the hop,
if they're feeling comfortable enough to do so,
talk about their struggles with, you know, chronic porn use or chronic hooking up.
Okay.
So two things here.
First off, Matthew is a therapist.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's scary.
But then secondly, he talks about chronic masturbation and chronic hooking up.
These are two very different things.
Yeah, right.
Chronic cooking up is like, I'm too good at this.
I have too much game.
Help me, Doc.
Doc's like, actually, I have some questions for you.
If you don't mind, no charge at the first 15 minutes here.
In fact, meet me at the club and answer these questions.
Yeah.
Can you meet with my other patients and tell them what they're doing wrong?
Yeah.
Do you ask her about her shoes?
Like, well, what's the secret here?
I need to know.
I'm trying to help other people who are chronically masturbating.
Yeah.
Every note in this guy's, uh, uh, book that he's taking on all his patients says.
You are one pathetic loser.
Yes.
Correct. not all his patience says. You are one pathetic loser. Yes, correct.
But it turns out that they're talking about overcoming shame.
There's a lot of shame involved
with watching porn according to these two.
I don't know about that,
but whatever, we'll play along for the type being.
Is the shame that is rooted in a belief system
we were taught as children,
is it something that someone can actually overcome?
Yes, 100%.
Yes, get over it.
There's no man in the sky watching you jerk off.
If there was, that's weird.
I just want to say,
because when I started, that would be CP.
So if that's the case, that guy needs to go to prison for it.
So no, you could definitely overcome the shame involved.
And you went to Catholic school, you mentioned they teach you about touching
yourself and how shameful that is.
No, it never came up.
Okay.
That would be a weird class.
You only watch as nun porn now.
Yeah. I didn't start beating off till I was 17.
You're like, oh my God, I'm so ashamed. Oh, not over it.
Just got over it.
I'm going to hell and I'm fine with it.
Yeah, right. Okay. So, Sebastian, the guy that talks with,
he's got marbles in his mouth or something going on,
he did grow up very religious.
And so he explains the shame that he feels.
You know, when I started out,
it was, anytime I even had a dirty thought,
I'd go to confession and I would confess it.
That's so dumb.
Could you imagine imagine every time,
so this guy's going to the confession booth
and the priest is like,
let me guess, you saw the AT&T commercial with Willie again?
Yeah.
You're having thoughts about girls and boobs and milkers.
Like, all right, buddy, get out of here.
It's gonna happen.
You gotta stop coming.
Move into the confessional booth.
Seriously, if that's the case,
like every time I think about maybe like blowing a load
on some homeless girl that I walked past,
then I gotta go confess about it.
You guys are the same way, right?
Is that what I'm saying?
Two days at the confession booth.
Two days.
Ha ha ha ha.
All right, so let's hear more about not jerking off the nofap movement as they're discussing
here.
Apparently this started as a subreddit, according to them.
This started with like, I guess a couple of years ago, they did a podcast about this.
400,000 subscribers, now there's over a million to the subreddit, so it's really gaining some
momentum. Last time I was doing a podcast on this topic,
I think I was two or three months into no fat.
And there was like an aura around my head.
Yeah, yeah.
I listened to the episode that you did with Vito,
and you know, both the way that you talked about it was
very like energized and like you were into it.
You were, yeah, you were definitely, yeah, you were feeling, you know, being on that
journey.
So not jerking off is now a journey.
Whatever happened to like Frodo Baggins bringing the one ring to Mount Doom and Mordor, like
that's a fucking journey.
Why is the word journey now?
Anything that you do is not a journey.
Like, hey, guess what I didn't do?
I didn't touch my balls today.
Wow, tell me more about your journey.
Yeah, it's a journey into nocturnal emission.
Right, yeah, it's gonna happen one way or another.
It'll find its way.
Right, I'd rather not come to Christmas
without really trying to fucking jerk off too.
That's actually scarier to me. I'd rather fool myself into thinking when I really tried to fucking jerk off too. That's actually scarier to me.
I'd rather fool myself into thinking,
I like, let's be important.
Because that's normal, right?
An aura from now jerking off.
I have spring in my step from doing it twice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's get shit done.
The aura to not jerking off is being annoyed by everything
all the time, right?
Somebody who's irritable about everything.
All right.
So Matthew watches porn.
Matthew's the therapist here.
Sebastian is the one who grew up very religious.
And Matthew's going to talk about the type of porn that he watches.
I relate to that, that for me, when I watch porn it's almost always
Not so much shame, but like definitely body image stuff comes up wrong
It's like the type of porn that I watch, you know, it's like, you know, the guys that look like Greek gods and it's like wall
Yeah, I'm never gonna look like that. I'm never gonna get anyone who looks like that
It's like I spiral into the the body image stuff
So apparently this guy only watches porn with hot guys,
which is not the category that I usually go to.
But if you really do have a problem with like pretending
that attractive people would be into you, just do what I do.
Pretend one day you'll be so successful
that it doesn't matter, right?
Just fool yourself into that.
Dylan from somewhere says,
I come to grip every time I jerk off.
I get jokes.
And explain that to producer Chris after the show please.
All right.
So now we're going to talk about this guy, Sebastian,
who went months before with the snow fat movement.
And he explains that today might be day one for his next journey.
I'm almost to the point now where I was thinking
about even just saying on today's podcast,
saying, hey, I'm gonna start my day one,
because to be truthful, here's the interesting part
about it is I feel like I need it to get through the day,
which sounds weird, but that's kind of how I feel about it. I feel almost like it's it to get through the day, which sounds weird, but that's kind of how I feel about it.
I feel almost like it's helping me get through the day.
Yeah.
Giving me something to enjoy.
All right, I have some advice.
I don't usually dish out advice, as you guys know,
but there are other things you can do to look forward to
and enjoy your day, like booze or drugs
or laughing at jerks or getting drunk at high
and then laughing at jerks. There's a lot of things you can do to look forward to
aside from jerking off. Well, that doesn't hurt. Yeah, I know.
S. Ernest Borg-9. Did you ever hear that clip? Yes.
All right. So apparently this guy is doing it wrong.
Now I'm in a place where I'm popping gonna be hopping off the porn train again
Because you're not liking how it devolves for you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like it just gets it comes almost like devious Which I don't think is and and also like you're trying to look for more extreme things and then also like I think there's an ethical
Immoral boundary which I'm crossing,
which doesn't really resonate with me.
So he literally doesn't know how to watch porn.
He's like, I'm watching this porn and I don't even like it.
Like, well, she's a different category.
For some, there's too much nudity.
Sometimes the suggestions they come up with
are the right ones.
So you never know.
Like just see what they think you might enjoy and try that.
The problem is I keep watching these crazy videos.
I don't even like.
Well, okay.
That's how I feel about Once Over with Kaylee.
Yeah, I respect that.
All right.
But what does it all go back to?
Where does all the porn start from?
But it started at a young age.
Interestingly enough though, Segway,
both me and Matthew,
Yes.
Loved.
The Sears catalog.
The Sears catalog.
Yeah, it was so funny when I was listening to the episode
you did with Vito.
I'm like, oh my God, I so relate to that.
Obviously looking at, you know,
you were looking at the women's section,
I was looking at the men's section.
Wait, what?
What are these guys, is straight?
I was not ready for that one.
I was like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You were looking at the women in the Sears catalog?
Okay.
He was looking at the women for wonderful fashion tips
because he's so gay.
Yes.
He's like, I'd love to play bridge with her someday.
She looks fascinating.
All right, so this is unique.
You're talking about the gay guy, Matthew, the therapist.
Now, when Matthew was in high school, he was in the closet.
He didn't want to tell people that he was into dudes.
And because of that, it kept his viewing of porn
very different from you and me.
So what is your experience with porn?
Yeah, so for myself, like, you know,
growing up as a gay teen who wasn't yet out of the closet
until my last year of high school,
you know, those first few years of adolescence,
it was done, I mean, and I know that most people do there, you know, those first few years of adolescence, it was done.
I mean, and I know that most people do their jerking off and porn secretively. But you don't do it in public or like tell your parents about it.
But like for me, it had like this extra kind of level of danger around it
that if people saw the porn I was looking at, it's like, oh, well, that
outs me. Yeah, I can't relate to this at all.
This guy had to keep his jerking off private.
Oh, no, man, that's tough.
For me, it was just always like,
we're just always having jerk off parties
and all our friends are coming over.
We're just taking turns and just moving people in
and out of the room watching porn and jerking off.
And it's Bill ready to come back in again.
Bill get back in here buddy we got a good scene coming up. The fuck is he talking about?
Does anyone have the opposite problem? No. I just can't keep my jerking off not public.
I know it's the dumbest thing ever where the rest of us were all like jerking off to women together.
Not the case. Anyway for Matthew Matthew, he had an additional problem
when it came to porn.
So for me, me watching porn would immediately make me
want to use drugs.
OK.
Sounds like a party.
For me, so does listening to music, watching sports,
going out, going to work, getting home from work.
Doing drugs. Yeah. There's a lot of things that maybe you want to do drugs. So I don't
think that this is such a horrible element this person has. Like, Oh no, now I want to
jerk off egg and high. Well, yeah, that's what she's gonna do. All right. I got one more
clip out here because this therapist has people come to him and he's been to rehab himself.
Yeah, so when I went into treatment,
I went to a treatment center that specialized
in treating both drug and sex addiction.
And their suggestion was that even after I leave
the treatment center to have at least six months away from hooking up
and away from porn.
Fuck you!
Kinda treatment center is this.
They're like, all right, now that you're out of the center,
I'm gonna want you to spend a half a year
not fucking anyone.
No, that's ridiculous.
They didn't say don't do drugs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just don't hook up with other people.
By the way, sex addiction is not a thing. Right.
Can we all agree on that?
I hope not.
Yeah. I mean, this is this is kind of a healthy thing that people are supposed to,
you know, not Kate, not Kate Meany, but the rest of us are supposed to embrace
this type of lifestyle and enjoy it.
And we should be shamed for wanting to hook up with other people.
Not the people I hang out with.
All right.
I've made my point.
Men's Junk is the worst podcast of the sex and relationship podcast category.
What say you ADQ public?
Well, I say that I've been dropping the ball lately.
I will admit that I fucked up last week
and I've been taking a lot of shit for it.
Five percent of the votes.
Well, you only put it on one platform.
Hard to do.
I've been putting it on one platform for weeks
now, it doesn't have to do with anything.
Fuck you.
You've been hamstringing me all along.
But I'm just imagining Andy that you're gonna go
I've been really doing a very bad job lately and then your shirt comes off
So what I did this week was bring multiple podcasts that revolve around one person and that person
Is Lana Rhodes now Lana Rhodes is best known as a
porn star turned podcaster who was romantically involved with Logan Paul's co-host Mike Malik
and host Mike Malik and when the average red-blooded American thinks about
Lana Rhodes, clip one is what they think about.
Hey all you cool cats and kittens, it's me, Sailor Moon!
Let's see how far you can come out of the pool without YouTube demonetizing this video
Or I could just stay in the pool because it's nice and warm in here and it's cool
Just play the demonetization game with me. Okay, you really want to get some monetized?
Okay, so this is shaping up to be a fun episode right? Yes, I never felt more understood
It's gonna get a lot less fun because Lana was only in the industry from 2016 to like halfway through 2017.
So about a year and a half from there she pivoted into podcasting and had a call her
daddy type of show called three girls one, where she was giving advice to people
that wanna live their lives like a porn star.
And let's in clip two here.
Find someone that'll pay you to fuck.
That's how you do that, but okay,
let's see what she says.
Girls, if you wanna try anal with your boyfriend,
I've got the tips and all the things that you need to know.
I'm like taking notes.
Make sure you are in the right hole.
Yeah, I know if you guys listened to last week's episode,
we talked about our anal experiences.
So this is Alexa Adams, Olivia Davis, and Lana Rhodes.
They're gonna give you all the hot and bothered tips
that you need to live your life like a porn star.
I get all my anal tips from Kate Meany.
Yeah, they should have Kate Meany on the show.
What were they thinking?
So let's find out all about the good clean fun you can have with anal sex.
Talked about how I was on vacation and didn't have an enema and I used a water bottle.
It didn't work too well.
But guys, if you wondered how people in porn or your friends are having anal sex and not
getting doodoo everywhere, there's this thing called an enema that you can use to clean
out your butt before.
I'm going to get sort of graphic here,
but basically you just keep cleaning it,
keep cleaning it until it's clean.
Also, if you wanna try anal
and you want it to be the most comfortable experience,
make sure that you invest in an anal lubricant.
They have some numbing agents, also silicone lube.
Numbing agents, but it's not enough to numb the penis.
It's only enough to help with your pain.
Yeah, your pain.
All right, I have a bunch of questions.
First off, I don't even wipe my ass after shitting.
Am I eligible for this Adelsox thing
that we're talking about?
I don't know.
Did you try jamming a water bottle up your ass?
Well, yeah, I've done that.
So the shampoo bottle, yeah, that's for sure.
So my second question, this is more for Lucy
than it is for producer Chris. But do you need some type of numbing solution before
anal sex?
That was what was going to be my question. Why the fuck would I want to do something
that requires me to numb myself? Give me the feels, baby.
Right.
You're taking all the fun out of that, aren't you?
It sounds like you maybe don't like anal sex,
so maybe don't have it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wasn't saying, hold on, I wasn't saying that.
You've misconstrued my point here, but yes.
Got it, okay.
All right, this podcast is for men.
It's how to make men happy with the anal sex.
I understand now.
I'm back on track.
I get it.
I'm telling men telling their women how to deal with ass pain and do do.
But take note of Lana's light colored jacket here, her light demeanor
at the onset of this podcast.
It's all fun and games about this in this last clip and clip four.
Actually, the next tip is warming up beforehand.
So after you do the clean out, if you have a butt plug,
try to stretch your butthole out with that or just use your fingers,
stretch it out. So it's not like, sorry guys, but if you want,
if you want to do it, warm up before. So it's not. Because it's sort of like a vagina where the more you put,
like say like you have sex and then afterwards
it's gonna be a little bit looser for a while.
Your butthole is also like that.
So you can get it to open up for the time
that you need to use it.
Stretch out, have them finger it before,
you know, prep that shit.
I gotta go on record of saying she's an anal bully.
She is. She's too broad. She would not seem like they're into it. I do want to say to Lucy who's
here the good news is only takes one finger to get yourself prepared for me. So I'm glad to know
that. Very short prep work is required. Don't worry about it. Are we talking about anal sex for porn or are we talking about anal sex for pleasure?
Because if we're talking about it for pleasure, why the fuck is the man or whoever your partner is
not helping with this finger or butt plug situation?
Yeah, that was part, she did say that. I didn't get, I can't clip the whole show Lucy.
All right.
No, no, no, that is a good question. I didn't get, I can't clip the whole show Lucy. All right.
No, no, no, that is a good question.
I'm learning about anal sex.
That is a good question because the way
that they're describing anal sex
is the least sexy way possible.
Like you have to go through clinical procedures
for two and a half hours.
Yeah, well this is Lana Rhodes
who is talking about showing up to work
and getting ready for the day.
Right.
It's a very business-centric take on it.
But I'm glad that Lucy is paying careful attention.
I could see that she's-
I would say don't leave with everything
that can go wrong with it.
That's a good point too, yeah.
So there's some do-do, whatever, move it on.
So it's everywhere, whatever.
What are you gonna do?
Okay, so Lana wrote, she did porn for a year and a half.
And I got to say that if you go look up her body of work, it's dense.
OK, and a year.
I was going to say, it's always like you're dismissing her career.
You're like only 18 months.
I'm like, no, it's pretty good.
It's a good run.
Yeah, she's fine.
But we're only talking about a major league baseball player.
This is at the kill Ripken of porn. That's OK. That's fine. We're only talking about talking about a major league baseball player. This is at the kill rip can of porn. That's okay
That's fine
But I mean you got a lot of life to live so you do porn for a year and a half
Now you're gonna go into podcasting and this isn't gonna really work out. I'm gonna do it the opposite way around but anyway keep going
Lucy's not ever that one at all.
She's not interested in my porn career at all.
All right, whatever. Some people are.
Who are these porno's?
This is going to be your next.
Fuck yeah.
Portals for podcasters.
So porn star turd podcaster.
But this is going to be short lived lived too because what's the number one boner killer when it comes to being a sexy porn star clip 5?
Actually the next tip is warming up beforehand
So after Lana Rhodes shared a new photo of her nine-month-old baby son Milo
This baby resembles Blake Griffin
baby son Milo. This baby resembles Blake Griffin. Do you tell me that Blake isn't the father? If you'd seen the former Clippers superstars childhood picture, nobody in the world would
be able to convince you to believe otherwise.
That's right. So she ends up having a child in 2021. she's copped to the fact that the father of the kid
is an NBA player not outed Blake Griffin but this side by side comparison kind of you know
says it all so we're we're gonna start seeing what's a mom to do now. I'm a porn star. I have to walk back my whole career
at this point for my kids sake, right?
Sure.
So you're going to start. This is still the three girls one kitchen podcast, but you're
going to notice the change in the clothing, the change in the opinion of the industry, things are going
to start taking a different turn as we start.
She's going to talk about the abusive nature of something that's beyond gondzo porn if
people know what that is in Clip 6.
Yeah, well, they do say that serial killer and rapists are the ones who are consuming these extreme types of horns.
A lot of serial killers, when they've gone through their search history, they're watching like these abusive porn,
and there's tons of pornography on their search history. sweaters talking about a port is bad This sucks
I know I don't like this slippery slope of comparing serial killers search histories either
Search Harley Quinn doesn't mean they were both
Search Harley Quinn doesn't mean that we're both serial killers. Not.
It's insane.
Who does not have a shitty fucking search history?
Let nobody is allowed to look at mine.
I swear to God, I'm not a serial killer.
Yeah.
Listen, I do a show called the creep off.
That's my explanation for my search history right there.
It's nothing to do with anything I've been to.
Vinny assigns these things to me.
I've just been doing research on CP not looking at
Doing research
Now in clip seven Lana is concerned that some of these scenes might be too over-the-top for female sex workers
Over in the fatherland Carl. Oh, yeah
No, I've had friends who have been choked out so much that they've actually passed out during a scene and
There's really just like crazy stuff going on that damages people's bodies for the rest of their lives
I luckily don't have any issues, but I've seen scenes shot in Europe where guys are literally
punching into a girl's asshole like this
really punching into a girl's asshole like this.
Why is she watching this shit?
It's a good workout. I mean, you tell me she's not jerking off to this.
I mean, I have to train for my welterweight fight somehow.
They're punching into a girl's asshole like this.
Not the fun way.
Some guys like the speed bag and some guys like a girl's rectum. So wait, Trevor Bauer is now in Germany. Is that what she's telling us?
My second baseball joke with the last 10 minutes, what the fuck is going on?
This really cute and sexy show where porn stars teach you how to act like a porn star
is about to become a real bummer. Clip eight.
Bill, like, did you ever go through those experiences where you had to become a real bummer. But they don't like, did you ever go through those experiences
where you had to do a scene where it was very aggressive
and you've just felt like, yeah, I mean,
I don't want to go into too much detail.
Like honestly, some of my experiences
are really humiliating for me.
And I wish that they never happened.
There's stuff going on, like people getting pissed on on men are pissing inside of women's vaginas as
holes down their throats there.
Sorry.
Oh, don't cry.
Told me something was like a different.
No, I'm crying. I'm like, God damn it.
Don't cry. What's going on? So
What's going on? Yeah, someone pissed up her nose
Yeah, he pissed the eyes
PTSD about it. She was asking for
All right, I mean that was kind of a bummer But just in case you were thinking about starting to feel bad for Lana
Carl's frosted tip says oh my god, this show is terrible these poor girls. Where's the link?
More research
So either pissing in the vaginas and assholes, you say that sounds awful.
I've had a research this morning.
Yeah, on the cops.
The fuck.
All right. Now, you might have started to feel bad for Lana there,
but our boy, Coffee Zilla, yeah, is going to show up to prove that there's no reason
to feel bad for this
person real quick. Fast forward two years or three years from now when you
see me on a show going, and then people were breaking down, Centering,
John's child support, papers and court readings.
And it's just not fair. The guy just stopped paying child support.
But who are we to judge?
Being a father is hard.
Not having a job being a lazy piece of shit and being worthless in life is hard.
So a lot of roads just rug pulled her NFT project and ran away with $1.5 million.
Now she's claiming it's not her fault.
Her community was just getting too negative for her.
One of those negative comments was about how this person can't feed their kids because they invested it all
into a B*****dars JPEG collection.
Quote, I spent what I can't lose, spent 4K.
No job, have a two year old son.
If only someone bought my Christmas, Lana.
Yeah, and apparently Lana Road saw this post and said,
hey, this is getting way too negative for me.
I'm out.
I didn't know these people wanted to feed their kids
Right I mentioned that Lana dated Mike Malik from Logan Paul Yeah, and on the all all apologies episode that we did about Logan Paul
This kind of got uncovered that Logan Paul was doing a
Sort of NFT you breed these Pokemon type things
and they generate new ones
and then you want to pay for the rare ones.
And it was all a big crypto horseshit thing
that Coffeezilla did a big deep dive out.
Yeah, Coffeezilla was great.
So apparently if you get involved in that Logan Paul
versus the way that Lana Rhodes did
when she started dating Mike, she got the inkling that she needed to do this NFT scheme, where
she basically dresses up in different, you know, paper dial outfits and pays her, her
simps pay to buy them.
And then she just decides that she's gonna make off with the money. And in clip 10, people were just like,
oh, I got kids to feed and you just stole,
I invested all of my life savings in your NFT horse shit.
What am I supposed to do?
And clip 10 is Lana Rose's reaction to that guy.
Asked about this.
She said, yo, diapers are expensive.
Okay, well
1.5 million
Not a great explanation
Because I just watched a thing on Hulu. There's a show called traffic with
Mariana van Zeller who's a she's
One of the bravest people I've ever seen she's talking talking to like assassins. Oh, I've seen that too.
Yeah, that's incredible.
She's a fucking badass.
And she just did a thing about crypto over in Dubai.
And it's basically the wild, I mean, Lionel Rose is not going to suffer any kind of repercussions
for just putting crypto out there, asking people to give them all of their money and
her just fucking off with it.
There's no repercussions for it. Crypto is the wild west. But CoffeeZilla can explain it a little
bit better in clip 11. Less than a week after all this money was raised, Lana Rhodes vanished from
her community and took the money out of the wallet. Here's the main wallet with drawing over $1.5 million in Ethereum out of the
project. Her reason? Things got too negative.
Quote, the truth as why Lana hasn't been around was she was very shocked and
upset by the amount of negative and rude comments she was seeing in the chat.
All right. I actually have actual audio. I wasn't, I didn't know you're going to
bring this, Andy, but this is a lot of while she was leaving with her $1.5 million.
Lick, lick, lick my balls. Yeah.
Yeah. She doesn't see it like she's upset about it at all.
Yeah. Oh, the guy who's money she stole said this.
But yeah, I mean, just somebody in the chat was like, can you do an NFT where you're
covered in piss and getting punched in the asshole?
And she's like, oh, I'm done.
I'm just taking all the money and leaving.
Yeah, that's a bridge too far for me.
Well, another seven videos right here.
That's a valid question.
Yeah, right.
At this point, porn hasn't worked out. Sexy podcast host hasn't worked out
Sexy podcast host hasn't worked out the NFT game kind of worked out. Yeah, but that's there's no that's not a long-term plan right, the only person who made money out of these honestly, it's
Now what is Lana roads to do except to become a podcast guest and Got. Whistle blow the industry.
Oh, she's a tattletale now.
Oh, I hate a tattletale.
Where does a porn star whistleblower go to be such a guest?
Only the best podcast for Lana Rhodes.
We're going to take a look at clip 12 with forbidden fruits
with Julia Fox.
Yike.
When every single experience that you're having every day
is just out of the norm,
like it just changes the way that your brain is.
Perception of reality.
Yeah, your perception.
And I think that's why I made the choices
that I made early on and did,
made tons of mistakes when I was younger. And I don't think that I made early on, um, and did the, I made tons of mistakes when I
was younger and I don't think that I would have made those mistakes.
If I had a healthier outlook or my brain was in a better place.
Wow.
Bull right.
Those would be terrible.
What is going on right now?
Yeah.
Shit.
Wow.
Hindsight is 2020.
So when selling your soul to the devil,
does it work out in the end?
Is that what you're telling me?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No idea.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
Atlanta explains more about why she got out of the industry
to two morons that don't even know where they are
or what they're doing.
Because I think what had happened was I did porn
and then I was able to remove myself from the situation
where I was being exposed to extreme mental illness
and just traumatizing shit every single day.
And so I come out here, I live on my own, my brain,
I start to experience the real world. I think my brain started to rewire itself and like heal
And that's when I realized that porn just wasn't it for me, right?
This is going great
You mean like at home. No, I was pissing into my asshole
Everywhere all the time
into my asshole.
I think everywhere all the time.
I do. Julia Fox looks like she was stuck in a sauna for 40 minutes before the show.
She looks so sweaty.
Going on with her. Oh, she's gross. She's gross.
I do your fucking hair. You're doing a show.
What's wrong with you?
I got pissed on.
Yeah, I was just doing piss porn before I got here.
Yeah. No one brought cameras. So I was a waste of my time. But still, I was doing piss porn before I got here. Yeah, no one brought cameras, so I was a waste of my time,
but still I was doing piss porn.
I'm busy, okay?
Jesus.
I'm auditioning.
Two more clips.
I'm on the piss porn audition circuit.
Yeah.
Well, while you're doing that circuit,
you better stop off.
Like where you're going to rebrand yourself on the rebranding.
Hold on.
I'm sorry, Andy.
I keep interrupting you and I apologize for that, but I'm going to Julia Fox.
So I do not like it all.
And as you guys know, but I think, you know, Chad Zubax out there stealing credit cards.
I think she's still Chad Zubax lips.
I think he's, I think he's a reporter.
She's bow guarding that triple lip.
She's too many lips.
All right, sorry, back to you.
Next stop on the rebranding tour is the hottest
with the hostest.
I'm fucking this up.
Anyway, she goes on Emily Radikowski's
EmRata High Low podcast where everybody goes to get serious
and really talk about the pressing issues.
Basically, Julia Fox and Emrada are the same person,
except for Emrada is actually attractive.
That's really the only difference.
I was raised by a single mom.
My parents got divorced.
Who the fuck is this bitch same bitch it is she looks great
she looks so bad what happened to her yeah I mean I found Lana Rhodes because you know
because of Linda Carter Linda Carter founder yeah I, I know. I mean, but I like the blue eyes with the dark hair
face because of Linda Carter and Linda and Lana Rhodes has that and the piss on the butthole. No,
I know I you gotta type by the punching. So yeah, and then into the asshole. Yeah.
I didn't know sex relations would
get devolved into this.
Geez.
Fucking truckers.
These fucking baby bangs just will make
and look like absolute shit.
Dude, it doesn't look like she cut her own hair.
It was like, I cut her hair.
It's not a good look.
A lawnmower accident.
I was raised by a single mom.
My parents got divorced while my mom was pregnant with a single mom. My parents got divorced
Beef while my mom was pregnant with me actually so I never experienced like a father in the home. No shit. Oh, yeah
issues stop the presses
Sorry, I couldn't hit that fast enough
Emily Redakowski is really like uncovering the hidden secrets of the porn industry.
Of course, I have daddy issues.
Go figure.
Good question.
Last clip, everyone knows that the strip club is the gateway
to the porn industry.
And I know this is like another big reveal
that Anzlan has been opening up about her realizations
about that industry as well. Dude, that's bullshit. I go there on Tuesdays because the line is going to open up about her realizations about that industry as well.
Dude, that's bullshit.
I go there on Tuesdays because the steak is really good.
I go there for the food.
Everyone knows that.
I watched all these documentaries and I didn't necessarily watch what they were doing.
Hold on.
I know that people say that.
I say that word wrong.
I know.
I put a little ISO in there for you.
Okay, all right. I'm just going to back it up once again.
I watched all these documentaries and I didn't necessarily watch what they were doing as work.
And so I, the day that I turned 18, I went to the strip club to become a dancer and that was fine.
I actually like miss it sometimes,
but there were circumstances where guys would touch you
or grab you in ways that they weren't supposed to.
And so I never thought of that happening.
I've always been very like,
if people still tell me this that I'm very innocent
and they're shocked by it
What?
Yeah, right
I knew when when you stripped off your fishnets and jammed them into that fat guy's mouth at the strip club that you were an innocent soul
Right away
What the fuck
No hugging. Yeah. And
Emily Redikowski never brings up the fact that she stole a hundred
and one point five million dollars from her fans. Right.
Of course. Yeah. Great interview. Good job. Not so innocent.
It's yeah. Hey, I want to interview you. Is there anything off limits?
Oh yeah. Everything. Yeah. It's fine. So come in. All the shit about Logan Paul or NFTs. Yeah.
But yeah, I gave you that little ISO you could maybe save because everybody
likes to, uh, criticize the way that we say the word.
I watched all these document rays.
I'm gonna say that way. I'm gonna start saying documentaries or I can't even do it. Hold on. I can't even do it.
I can't even say it.
I watched all these documentaries.
Documentaries.
Documentaries.
Yeah, documentaries.
Yeah.
Documentaries.
Now I got documentaries.
Documentaries.
So it's like a two syllable word when she says it, it's impressive.
Lana Rhodes, everybody.
Go Google 2016 Lana Rhodes, not 2024 Lana Rhodes.
And then clear your search history.
Yeah. All right. Well, Andy, great job, buddy.
You definitely found one this week that actually is the category that we were going for.
So that's so that's impressive.
Where's the relationship part of that.
Well, you have to put the water in your asshole.
You have a relationship with the bottle of water and you can't just do it once.
You got to do it until it's clean.
I cut all the Mike Malik stuff out.
Thank you.
For every year's sake.
Well, we thank you.
All right. Well, this week I'm going to do a better job.
I'm going to get our poll up on our Patreon.
You don't have to be a Patreon member to go and vote.
I put the poll up today for this show for last week,
but I'll do a much better job this time.
But we're gonna vote for who brought the worst
sex in relationship podcast.
Was it Lucy with the Christian weirdo boring people?
What was it called? Kinky Christian. Kinky Christian. Was it in with the Christian weirdo boring people? What was it called?
Kinky Christian.
Kinky Christian.
Was it Carl with men's junk?
Or was it Andy with his deep dive into Wanna, the former porn star turned buzzkill?
Very good.
All right.
Now it's time for our
cringe of the week. And this one comes in for my boy Adam Thoreau who used to supply
cringe of the weeks all the time, but he's been busy lately editing all the videos that
I sent him. But he sent me over. Now as you guys know, I do a show of my buddy, blind
Mike Geary every Thursday at 6pm on this very channel.
And who are these socials?
And we start off with what I consider to be the best banter in the business.
Mike and I are so smooth.
You don't even realize we go into the ban. I won't go into it.
The point is we do great banter on that show. Who are these socials?
So end of the road,
decided like, is there a show called Bantercast?
Is there another show that's doing it?
So he started looking in to see if one existed.
He said there's a few, and this one is by far the worst.
They quickly proved they have 0.0 banter skills.
This clip is from 20 seconds into the episode.
Would you rather have elbows as knees or knees as elbows?
Did you guys understand the question there?
Elbows as knees or knees as elbows?
Would you rather have elbows as knees or knees as elbows?
Would you rather have elbows as knees or knees as elbows?
Elbows as knees.
Why?
I don't even know man.
I have no idea why.
Good stuff.
Good stuff guys.
Some good banter right there.
Do you see what were the best at banter Andy? I
Would have to agree with you. I mean, it's no soft shell versus hard shell, but oh my god
Pretty happening over there. We went to bring that back. We got one today
It's not soft shell versus hard shell
Yeah, let's not try to minimize the discussion that we've been having on this show for months now
We went to a restaurant called Torch here in Cape Coral
just this afternoon. My buddy Jay came into town.
He's hanging out with us.
And we went down to the restaurant. He ordered tacos.
And they said, would you like corn or flour?
And my buddy Jay, who's no longer my buddy,
says, well, of course I want flour.
That's the best way to eat tacos.
He got all up and he fucking asshole, man.
Seriously, you should know better.
Such a question is what he said.
Do you have to ask?
Fucked up.
All right.
Speaking of idiots, you don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
You know, it's no different than, you know,
police officer running to the scene
of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building.
It's what I do.
Guys over here are Tom Myers familiar with this guy.
Familiar with this guy.
Andy, you ever hear of him?
The Andy likes two things.
He likes politics and political humor.
Yeah, two things he's into. He's just like,
all right, I'm always up for a nice Lindsey Graham joke.
Let's go. What do you got for us?
So let's see what Tom Myers is up to on the most recent episode
of Tom Myers versus the rest of the world.
Hello, and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. Hello, and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world.
As we're recording this,
voting is taking place in New Hampshire for their primaries.
We're gonna cover that in a future episode,
provided we survive the rural rioting
that will take place no matter the result.
Good one, can't wait.
Donald Trump was in court this past week
at his civil trial for defamatory remarks he made
against his sexual assault victim, the writer E. Gene Carroll. He released a courtroom sketch
someone made where he was seated next to Jesus. Now, Jesus didn't used to hang with derelicts
and thieves, so that image tracks. All right, so I want to point out that Jeff Heisen does his normal thing.
And then there's like weirdo on there who I'm just picturing
his fat.
I could be wrong, but there's like this weirdo.
He doesn't know what's funny.
He doesn't even know what Tom's saying.
He just knows he's like, oh,
I was like, fill those billers.
Yeah, I know.
All right, let's see.
Let's see what the next one is.
Oh, of all the times not to portray a crucifixion scene.
Oh, God.
What is that?
Get it.
So I guess Chris, I mean, I could I could raise your pay
if we could start getting reactions like that to the things I said.
I had a stroke.
What the fuck is that?
When leaving his court appearance in New York City, Trump was spotted with red spots on his hands.
There was some speculation that it was syphilis, but I think it's something far more simple
Satan trying to escape
I will say as far as Tom Myers, Joscoe that was one of the better ones
It was shorter. It right it got right to the point the punch line was in the right spot. It wasn't terrible
I mean, it's offensive to Satan, but Satan's a little bit pissed off by
this. Like, I can do better than Donald Trump. But okay, if you say so, sir,
say it's just like, listen, I had Stalin, I had Hitler, Trump, really? Do you
think that's, but not a bad joke. Okay. I'm giving that one to him. Tom, I'm giving
that one to him.
Stop laughing. That's funny.
Cool.
In an interview, Ben Carson defended Trump, saying, quote,
he's not a highly vindictive individual, which is easy to say.
If like Carson, you've just woken up from a nap.
It started in 2010.
Did you hear Heisen's reaction to that?
Yeah. And I love it because Jeff Heisen's completely on board with hating Trump and thinking that
Trump is the anti-Christ of the next Hitler and all these things.
He's just like, you know, Ben Kersen obviously has been out of it since 2010.
He's like, I mean, you can do better than that.
Really?
That's the joke.
Tommy, come on.
Try harder.
I feel like the next time we do a Tom Meyer segment, you got to give me the numbing
cream because I feel like I'm getting punched in the asshole right now.
All right, everybody, let's help num Lucy type boxes, asshole for this one.
You know, it actually reminds me of, um, I was listening.
We were listening to the dead last night where we were jamming out to some dead.
I know Andy's a big fan big deadhead and
The grateful dead became very popular in the 60s
Before LSD was illegal because they would hand out LSD
To the people who came out to see that but everyone's tripping balls and having a blast
And I forgot where I was going with that, but I feel like Tom
a blast. And I forgot where I was going with that. But I feel like Tom needs to do something with nubbing assholes or something.
You need to be on drugs to enjoy this is what you're saying?
Yes.
Yes.
Somebody needs to be fucking you with the asshole in order for you to be like, well, at least
that's not as bad.
The political party, no labels achieve ballot access here in my home state of Maryland
Given that the state's leader of the movement is Larry Hogan the party should be called no personalities
No personalities is not a good punchline
Whoa, no personalities is not a good punchline.
People like Larry Hogan and Joe Manchin are basically fence sitters. They won't take a stand on something one way or the other.
They won't take a stand on something one way or the other.
They're basically fence it is.
You're sitting on those fences over there.
I'm sorry.
You're sitting on those fences over there. I'm sorry.
I got to say.
Getting to see him do it on video live and that bombing show.
That was.
I did the choice.
Oh, he actually does that.
It is fantastic.
And Kristine Nolton's chicken joke.
I still.
I mean, I'm sorry.
I don't, I mean, I'm sorry.
I don't, I don't like skip ahead a lot of this show.
I had to skip ahead of that.
It's like Andy, I did your college course
on that fucking joke.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, I heard it before though.
I heard it the first time.
Shame.
In one way or the other,
they have the personality of Bloody Diarrhea.
Oh, I'll be back that up.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
He goes nowhere with this.
In the other, they have the personality of Bloody Diarrhea.
Oh.
Admittedly, that's not a fair comparison as fecal matter can be used to make fertilizer.
They have the personality of bloody diarrhea.
What is that personality? I'm not sure.
But that's not fair because fecal matter can be used as fertilizer.
Well, not bloody diarrhea.
I mean, is that cost extra?
No one, no one, no farmer is looking for bloody diarrhea
for their crops.
Extra iron in your crops.
Could you imagine if you're buying corn from the store
and they're like, well, this one is organic
and bloody diarrhea was used as the fertilizer.
I don't know, I understand why it's more expensive then.
That's fine.
What the fuck is he talking about?
None of that, he's just saying words
that he thinks are silly. Let me do that, I want to count it, and then we'll move on. That's fine. What the fuck is he talking about? None of that. He's just saying words that he thinks are silly.
Let me do that. I want to count. And then we'll move on.
Oh.
Admittedly, that's not a fair comparison, as fecal matter can be used to make fertilizer.
Howce Democrats brought up a revolution to set your congresswoman Elise Stefanik for referring to the January 6th defendants as hostages
Her ilk is so into defending them and calling them hostages that
I'm watching for their blinking patterns to see if they're in fact the hostages here and if they need help
See Tom does that thing
Where he has no confidence in his joke
so he
Said something after the punchline,
I'm watching their blinking patterns,
see if they're actually the hostages.
And they need help.
No, we got it.
We got blinking patterns and hostages.
We got it.
It's not good.
It's not a good joke, but.
Winter storm at the East coast this week.
Is any hostage ever blinking that I'm okay?
Are they doing the Morse code for everything's fine here?
Yeah, fucking idiots.
OK, fucking moron.
Is here. And if they need help.
Winter storm at the east coast this week,
the Washington, D.C. area hasn't been hit with this much white stuff
that stopped traffic since January 6th
Got it guys white people am I right total miss
Hold on a second Andy I disagree listen to that reaction he got Tommy's put a star next to that joke. He's like yep
Did it now this
You guys
Yeah Yeah, monster laugh was let by ESP. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, please. Oh, you're on the show,
buddy. I'm appreciating producer Chris's background of the, the cockroach costume with
stuttering John's face on it is, is killing comparative stutter Tom Myers. Right. Just
a still image of this for 20 minutes. We better than Tom Myers versus the rest of the stick figures. You got to check out, man.
Yeah.
Aaron Rodgers was let go by ESPN before show host Pat McAfee had him back on. It seems
ironic that Pat McAfee gave Aaron Rodgers
another shot when Aaron Rodgers himself
wouldn't get a shot of his own.
Got it?
Yep, move it on.
David Smith, the right wing zealot,
has bought The Baltimore Sun, my hometown newspaper.
I look forward to the city's residents
putting the paper to good use by letting it on fire and
Using them as torches to chase Smith out of town
Hold on a second now Lucy, I think you're gonna know this better than anyone
So he's saying that a right winger has purchased the local newspaper
So they're gonna use this to light torches and chase him out of town. Isn't that what they usually accuse right-wingers of doing?
Of the tiki torches and letting the torches and chasing people out of town?
That's how left-wingers do, right?
Some mild hypocrisy here, I feel.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Okay.
I feel like he's confusing political parties.
But all right, moving on.
The Sun reported that Smith was caught performing a sex act on a street corner in
Baltimore City known to be frequented by prostitutes. That's not right. I could have suggested several
places for that activity that would not have been filled with police roadblocks.
If he was really a man of the people, he would have just used a park and ride or the shoulder of the
Jones Falls Expressway like the rest of us.
I think you got to be from Baltimore to get that one.
Yeah, it is.
But if we were in Baltimore right now we'd be losing our minds over that joke.
Yeah.
Fucking great.
Hey, I wrote a joke today.
Chris, I picked up this prostitute and I was giving it to her doggy style on 490.
Oh, yeah. Like winning in 490. Yeah.
See this guy gets it. Winted in 490. Whoa.
Oh, see you've had sex before. No, I don't know what that is.
Seems weird. Neither does Tom. Seems gross.
An 84 year old McDonald's worker in Gibsonia, Pennsylvania, retired after 45
years of working at the Golden Arches location there.
She started working there before the invention of the McNuggets.
And I'm convinced that the last McNuggets I ate were the prototype that she
initially oversaw before the products roll out upon her retirement.
What was that response?
What the fuck was that joke?
What was any of that?
What the fuck is he talking about?
That sounded like AI created that joke.
Yeah.
So it's still a classic Tom.
I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Myers-
Upon her retirement-
Yeah, go ahead.
I'm just saying like AI chat GPT famously can't tell jokes and it seems like Tom Myers
would be the first person to try and utilize that as a tool for-
He might be.
Yeah. You heard that George Carlin special
that came out supposed to be the new George Carlin special.
Have you guys heard that yet?
No.
So it's AI.
Yes, it's all AI generated. Apparently the voice and the
materials all AI generated. And George Carlin's daughter is not
happy about it. I think they're suing for something.
I'm upset.
You're upset now. Wait till you listen about it. I think they're suing for something. I'm upset too. You're upset now. Wait till you listen to it.
No, it's the worst. It's so funny. But it's so very.
The idea is just blasphemy.
Yes, it's even worse when you hear it.
But honestly, I'm now that you've said that I think that maybe Tom might be a
Because listen to this again
And I'm convinced that the last McNuggets I ate were the prototype that she initially oversaw before the products roll out
Upon her retirement the marquee outside the restaurant where she worked read time for fun
So now she will go out and cram as much of that into her remaining six months Upon her retirement, the marquee outside the restaurant where she worked read, time for fun.
So now she will go out and cram as much of that into her remaining six months.
Oh, shit.
Get it?
Cause she's 84.
I give that punchline a control.
I'll delete.
And now on with the show.
Joining me tonight are Jeff Heisen, Gina Brown,
polite kitty and Joshua Postel.
Hey, Tom.
What's up?
What's up, Tom?
What I love about this part is so Tom always asks this stupid open-ended
question like how's everything going?
And then Jeff Heisen's always got a joke ready to go.
So Jeff Heisen always jumps in and he's just like, all right, now it's my turn
to take over.
Kind of like, Andy's let's talk shit. This is like what Jeff Heisen does. He's ready to go with us. Not too much. Not too much
What's everyone else been up to this week? I'm trying to figure out where Taylor Swift's gonna stay in Baltimore
when she if she comes to the
The chiefs Ravens game on Sunday. I'm picking the Poox Hill Marriott. What do you think? I
Something I'm picking the Pooks Hill Marriott. What do you think? I
Think personally, I think a lot of
Hold on guys. I didn't see you all laughing about that Marriott joke
You guys didn't think that was the obvious go-to right?
The Pooks Hill Marriott. Well, yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm not from Baltimore. So maybe it's a really nice place
I don't know. It's a Marriott. Maybe it's a dump. Maybe it's the best.
Who knows?
And he, he wrote that. He was ready to go with that.
Now, what my favorite part is, is not Jeff Heisen trying to come
with a joke to start the show.
It's Tom off the cuff, off the cuff.
Tom, we've heard his monologue.
He wrote all this down.
He thought about it.
He thought these were funny jokes.
Now let's see what Tom does when he's scrambling to riff.
Picking the Pooks Hill Marriott. What do you think?
I think, personally, I think a lot of Swifties are going to be disappointed because they'll
want to get into the stadium to see her and then that's going to be the biggest disappointment
since Ticketmaster, which is getting cussed out in a Baltimore
accent by seasoned ticket holders.
Right.
What?
Scrambling was the operative word there.
What the fuck is he talking about?
That is scrambling.
The fuck was that?
What was he talking about there?
He didn't know anything.
He's like, Ticketmaster, he's a. He's like ticket master sees a ticket holders,
Taylor, right?
Am I right people?
What?
You're not right about anything, Tom.
That was, that was not great.
Every opportunity missed.
Well, Tom Myers is not great at comedy,
but you know who is?
Amazing at comedy, but you know who is? Amazing at comedy. I gotta be honest I can't do a lot of son of a John it's all getting so silly
and stupid right now because I literally saw John did a video this week
where his big brag was he put 44% down in his house and surely put 10% down on his house.
Has this all jumped the shark?
Is this really all we're debating now right now
is what percentage people put down in their houses
before they purchase them?
I mean, it's pathetic to try and turn that into a brag.
It doesn't make any sense.
When you consider the cost of real estate around the
country, I mean, I don't want to get into it.
No, it's all, it's all so ridiculous.
And I think what it comes down to is John's insecurity, John's so insecure about the fact
that it came out, he didn't pay child support for six or seven or eight months.
And even when he finally did, he can only pay so much because he's just a piece of poor
John's poor. He doesn't have a lot of money. He has no money can't afford a new computer
He said he could easily afford a computer and then immediately when he discovered he needed to buy a new computer
He started telling people to super chat him for the new computer fund like he's a poor person and
It's fine
It's fine to be the announcer for the Tonight Show
and a writer on the Tonight Show
and make all this money and have a mansion in Calabasas
and then become poor if you admit it.
Then it's fine.
Then we feel bad for you.
But when you-
I think it's fine.
But when you're, well, no, it's actually pathetic.
But when you're bragging about being rich. Right. You think that is fine? No, I don't, no, it's actually pathetic. But when you're bragging douches about being rich,
you think that is fine, no I don't.
I think it's awful, which is why John's ashamed of it.
Which is why he's so fucking ashamed.
And I have to say, John is hanging on our every word.
Because I've been pointing this out recently.
The fact that if anybody in show business
was looking up on what Southern John has been up to,
and they're like, hey, we should probably hire
the Southern John guy, or hey, he auditioned for a part And they're like, Hey, we should probably hire the Southern John guy or,
Hey, he auditioned for a part where he wrote a sitcom.
We should take it, take a look at it.
What they're going to do is they're going to go to a social media.
They're going to be like, what's he been up to?
And they're going to see that on Twitter,
all he's doing is posting photos of Lady Kmart's third cousin and calling him an idiot.
And you're like, what is,
I think it's fades with his shirt.
Right.
Now people are going to be looking at what he's doing on Twitter
and go what is this fucking lunatic doing?
He used to be a s- I remember Stundary John,
he was an obvious celebrity, he came out of here,
we all loved him.
What is he doing now?
He's dealing with a shit wire and barbara.
But sir, look at the chat, they love him.
But I think that John, because he's listening to us and he's realizing, oh yeah, this is
not a good strategy for getting my career back together.
Listen, look at this tweet he just put out.
For all you non-devilverse people.
So now he heard us say, by the way, you're not going to get a job in Hollywood with the
way that you use Twitter.
It's ridiculous that you're on there posting photos of my dad and rooting for cancer
Whatever fuck you're doing. I get you it makes you look like an asshole
So John Rice for all you non-dibblers people a bunch of untalented losers decided to make money off of my celebrity
They stoked hate on me and my family they get my gigs cancelled get me fired harass my elderly mother and much more
I tried leaving yet it didn't stop. Now it's war.
So now this executive of CBS, who's considering whether to hire Senator John or not, is going,
oh, well, I guess I didn't consider why he was posting photos of Lady K-Mart's brother.
He's calling him a loser. And what was he calling him?
A douche, cause he's got the mountain deer room.
He's a mountain douche.
I'm not in the dab of hers.
So I'm silly me.
Yeah, right, right, right.
No, I get it.
Now it's all making sense to me.
That's how well they sense you're hired.
Fucking idiot.
Right.
John is the dumbest guy to ever exist.
And we've been talking about this a lot lately.
I don't like to cover all the clips of Stuttering John
because he's being performative now
and he wants us to clip it and cover it.
This is what he's looking for,
he's looking for the attention.
And he's getting all these people watching his show
and they're super chatting him and they're goofing on him,
but he doesn't care because he's making money
and he's bragging about $5,000 a month,
which is pathetic and he's a loser but I'm getting annoyed with all
of this I'm getting bored with it. I will say this. John the the thing that I find fascinating
is how hard it up he is for friendship, relationships, and any type of woman to pay any type of attention to him?
So we've had this Kate Meanie saga
That's been going on and this is really one of the saddest things that has happened to John in the last couple of months
because How many times have you heard John say?
He doesn't want to fuck Kate Meanie
How many thousand thousand
At least she's too young. She's too young. Why would I want to fuck her Meany. How many times? Like a thousand. At least twice. She's too young.
She's too young. Why would I want to fuck her? And you know, even Vince the Losers was like,
well, John, I mean, if she approached you and wanted to have sex, you would. It's not,
that's not a thing. Like no guy wants to fuck a hot 24 year old.
John, if you didn't jizz in your pants, you would have sex.
Right. Yes. Precisely.
So of course they've been going back and forth.
It started with her calling John a buffoon with one F,
which really set John off and he's just like, I sent her a ring light.
I've been sticking up for I've been nothing but nice to her.
How could she do this to me?
So the other day,
John gets a text from Kate or something and he sends her the wink
and she pops on his show.
And I'm not gonna play that for you
because this is embarrassing.
They're literally going back and forth like children.
Yeah, but you started it.
No, you started it.
No, you started it.
You were bad-mouthing me.
No, no, you trashed me first.
No, no, no, you trashed me first. No, no, no, you trashed me first.
We're trying to debate why they're mad at each other.
Like, what happened?
It was fun for like 10 minutes and then,
for 10 minutes.
No.
No.
It goes on and on.
And it's hilarious because John literally forgot
that this all started with her calling her
him a buffoon on Twitter.
She's like, well, you know, I called you a buffoon.
He's like, oh yeah, that's right.
I am mad at you.
Like you fucking, he's so out of it.
He doesn't even know why he's mad at people
and what the problem is.
Anyway, the reason why-
That was like a week ago.
It wasn't that long ago.
I know the problem with John is he's doing a podcast
every day of the week now for hours a day.
So he's losing the thread.
He's losing the plot.
He's not even sure who he's mad at
anymore or why he's mad at them. He's so confused. So Barnes and Noobs on the dab was
on a subreddit, put this video together and I just want to play this for you because it's brilliant.
It perfectly sums up what happened to John this week. He has Kate Meany on a show. He's all happy
with himself. Oh, Kate Meany and our friends were gonna hang out in
Atlantic City. This weird fucking what Tuki calls the
meet and beat where everyone's fighting with each other and
everyone's gonna join their different cliques. And it's
gonna be this whole thing that's going on in Atlantic City
for the Super Bowl. So John's gonna be there. Kate Meany's
gonna be there. And he's all excited because they're friends
again. And then the next day, Kate Meany's gonna be there. And he's all excited because they're friends again.
And then the next day, Kate Meany goes on
Misery Loves Company.
And oh, does that throw John off?
Again, this is the video that was put together
by Barnes and Noobs who does an excellent job.
And so there's some production here,
but this is fantastic.
All right, and again, if you ever need to talk,
you need a friend, you just call me, all right?
All right.
Chal Bay alum.
So that's how things ended with John and Kate
when he had Kate on his show just the other day.
All right, it's all lovey-dovey, they're blowing kisses.
Sweetie.
What's that for again?
I did a whole video about John slutshaming Kate Meanie over and over again.
Like that was the whole thing with Johnny's.
He's just like, this woman needs to slow down.
She's fucking everyone.
She's a whore.
What's her problem?
These are things you don't usually come back from.
You know what I mean?
It's just like you're kind of irredeemable, unredeemable.
Whatever the word is, we got to that. All right. You're the best irredeemable, unredeemable, whatever the word is, we gotta do that.
All right, you're the best.
You too.
All right, everybody, what a great show.
24 hours late, Dale.
That I do, Kevin Brenner said.
John who?
Stuttering John.
He said nothing, he don't care.
I know, I know, I know, I know he's a nothing.
God, you make 200, he said nothing, he don't care.
I know, I know, I know, I know he said nothing.
Look at Kate Meany, which I've proclaimed many times
is not right for this world.
She sucks.
She brings nothing to the table.
Kevin bullies her, she immediately,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Kevin, you're right.
I don't like Sutter and John either.
We all don't like Sutter and John, I'm sorry.
Like she could have literally just been like, I don't give a fuck what you think about John
I go on the show I go on your show too who gives a shit it's very easy to navigate these roads
But nobody could seem to handle it around can't be why can't you do what she's supposed to do and just be like oh
Yeah, I wanted Southern John show. I don't care. I don't why did start doing that? I don't get it
I don't care, I don't care. Why did you start doing that?
I don't get it.
It was so much funnier.
I don't get this thing where everyone's afraid
of upsetting KB.
By the way, news flash for you, KB will hate you.
It happens to every single fucking person,
except for Adam Hinnaker, who's ever crossed paths with KB.
I couldn't write a list, but I can't write that much
of the people that KB hates. It's everyone
It's every single fucking birth. He even shit on producer Chris recently like what the fight the producer Chris ever do to you Jesus
More people know who's scuttering John is then Kevin Brennan. That's a fact. Yes. That is a fact. That is true
All right, Carl. I I promise I promise I, I promise I'm gonna bring a better podcast next week.
That's my fear.
Yeah, what the fuck, Lucy?
And you better not go on a Sunday John show either.
Could you imagine having that thought in your head
that like I paid you 125 bucks to be at my show,
why would you go on John show?
Because he sent me the link and I was bored, who cares? The fuck's the difference? Stop giving me 125 bucks Kevin. That's that's the answer
That's what every fucking person on his show should say. It's just like Tukey has said just like I have said like Patrick
Melton has said we don't want your fucking money loser
But we'll do whatever the fuck we want. You don't control us. You're not our boss
Speaking of people who can't be controlled by Kevin Brennan
Cardiff is here.
Hey.
Hi.
What's up, Kevin?
Hello.
How's it going?
Hi, Brennan.
I felt like I was late on that one.
You are allowed as shit again.
I'm going to turn you down on my end.
Oh, for crazy.
I'm turning you down on my end.
It's all good.
I was late, Dale.
Dad, I do Kevin Brennan.
John who?
Suttering John.
He said nothing. He don't pay you. I John who? Stuttering John. He said nothing.
He don't know.
I know. I know. I know.
I know he's a.
God you make 200.
He said nothing.
He don't know.
I know. I know.
I know he's a.
You know, once again,
once again,
I am very
and I'm so over it.
What's that saying that Georgeorge busch jr. Fucked up
fool me once
Shame on you
fool me twice shame on me
You look a fool again. I so can fool it again. And it's that george busch busch jr
George w busch his fathered a different name
He's such a moron. So I just want to get your guys take us before we play the rest of this video
He does go on for a minute, but there's performative John that I don't like I don't like to play that because I find it annoying
I don't think this is that because it's too embarrassing
Card if you've seen this before would you agree? Yeah, he's hurt. He's hurt.
He's literally hurt about, okay, good.
I agree, I would say.
I just can't.
And you know what, man?
That's it.
Here's my phone and I'm hitting block and I'm out of the Kate Bean fucking Kate Meanie
fucking business.
You fucking do a show.
The two hours with a chick. Why were you in the Kate Meanie fucking this. You fucking do a show for two hours with a chick.
Why were you in the Kate Meanie business?
What is a Kate Meanie?
What does she mean to you?
Why is she in any of this?
I don't understand it at all.
John's so distraught.
He wanted to fuck her.
Yeah.
Let's be honest.
He wanted to fuck her.
Does that what the reason?
He's picking up his phone right now to unfollow her on Twitter.
Yeah, I'll show her. That's what's happening right now. I'llollow her on Twitter. I'll show her.
I'll block her and she'll see that I blocked.
I'll text her first and tell her I'm blocking her and then I'll block her and then she'll know.
She's a human NFT.
It's like perceived value but really worthless.
She's an NPC and they should have kept her as an NPC all along.
I don't get it.
Like I said, I think I might have sat at the same table
with her at Chrissy Mayer's wedding.
I don't remember.
She's nothing.
Did you smell Alex's finger?
I did, I had to be high-fived.
She got big-timed by Carl Hamburger.
I wasn't big-timed.
She's nothing.
She brings no presents.
She's uninteresting.
Even her scent is not a script.
Ha ha ha. She brings no presents. She's not interested in it. Even her scent is not a script.
And then I just happened to turn on Brennan before I go live and guess what happens?
Kate Meany is trashy.
So now she is now done.
No more. I don't want to hear from you. Don't text me.
Don't.
Do not text me back.
Imagine being a 58 year old broke alcoholic and yelling at a 24 year old girl, don't
text me.
She's like, yeah, no, I wasn't planning on it.
I'm having your voice crack in the middle of the set in Solso.
I don't even want to be friends with you.
I'm watching this saying the same thing.
I can't believe this is a 58-year-old man.
But in the back of my mind, I'm like,
I wouldn't mind being a 58-year-old man that
is having this much fun in his life.
What?
This was an adventure. Yeah, What a journey. Yeah. He's texting me and Tim Dransky. I still got
a chance with him. All right, Cardiff, I'm trying to adjust
your level and you're still over modulated. Can you do something on your end? I'm sorry.
How's that? Much better. there you go? Yeah These meters mean nothing. I know I'm noticing the same thing. All right
Okay, that's all I'm gonna say I'm not gonna trash you look I'm not gonna trash you fucking guys you bang nothing
your giant butthole
He doesn't make a trash your looks. I'm not gonna trash the guys you bang
Is it saying those two things doing those two things? I'm gonna stop talking about looks, I'm not gonna trash the guys you bang. Is it saying those two things, doing those two things?
I'm gonna stop talking about how you're a whore.
I'm gonna stop talking about how you're ugly.
I'm gonna stop all of these things, don't you worry.
Starting rates.
I'm not threatening you.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, sounds a lot like that.
Fucking leave my fucking name out of your mouth.
You know, I had no intention of talking about Kate Neeney in a bad way.
But not, but then I fucking turn on two seconds.
I'm about to go live.
He's done an hour on what a horse she is.
And he has the balls to say,
I wasn't even gonna badmouth her this time.
Okay, good.
But she started it, Carl.
Yeah, right, yes.
Make to that again.
Okay, do you find Stuttering John attractive?
No.
Okay, I don't fucking like that.
Then,
Stuttering John's at nothing.
And she goes, yeah I know.
That's being polite.
Stuttering John's not winning.
Yeah, I know he's not winning.
This is Kate fucking Mani, who was on this show yesterday.
Oh, oh, in love with Stuttering John!
I guess she's a better actor than we thought.
Yeah.
You fell for that idiot.
Moron.
It's funny how, and I still have the clip I have a say to my folder when John was saying
that our show's over just last week.
It's funny how things have changed so much already.
Oh, and love with Stutter and John.
I love you. I love you.
I love you.
Right?
Right, Kate?
I think John was saying that to her.
I don't think she was saying that to him.
This reminds me of one he used to interview
former Tonight Show writers and other comics
that he used to know.
And they'd be saying something that wasn't funny
or interesting and he'd be laughing.
And then at the end of the show, he'd be like, wow. That was a lot of fun. Wasn't it? We laughed a lot
This is the process of him gaslighting himself
You're right. He's the only guy who's gaslighting himself in a real time
He's like remember you said you love me and you wanted to taste my balls remember that like no, none of this happened
What do you yeah, if he doesn't on the internet? It's true. It must be
You're not gonna last long in his business Like no, none of this happened. What do you do? Yeah, if he does it on the internet, it's true. It must be What business
In the being on Kevin show what's a week business
It's a living
What are you talking about? It's a living.
No, it's not.
The Bizarro-Cate and the Bizarro-Lana-Roads business?
Where she fucks low about you.
Yeah, right.
Fucking shitting on the people that actually fucking try and help you.
John, Kevin said you were a loser and she agreed.
All of us would. This is the thing that John doesn't understand. John, Kevin said you were a loser and she agreed.
All of us would.
This is the thing that John doesn't understand.
He goes, no, she's making lies that I'm a loser
and I've got nothing going on in my life.
No, these are not lies. This is all true.
Would a loser re-gift a ring light?
Yeah, would a loser send you a ring light that Alex Sight sent me
so I didn't look like I was dying.
My child. Oh wait.
Could I take that back?
I'm fucking over it.
He seems like it.
Uh, fuck Kate.
You know, I need to pass.
So what?
Who cares?
I want to get laid.
Right?
I like pretty girls.
I'm a absolute. Well right? I like pretty girls. I am not absolute.
Well, listen, Kate is done.
Fuckin' I don't care.
Don't fuck, I don't...
Done.
Gotta kiss her daddy, Kevin Brennan's ass.
Oh, Brennan.
Oh yeah, John's in nothing.
Oh yeah, Brennan.
Yeah.
Yeah, John's and nothing. Oh, yeah, Brandon. Yeah. Yeah, John's not winning.
Yeah.
You know what?
Shut the fuck up, Keith.
I got to say that Kevin Brennan doesn't say a lot of things
that are true.
He lies all the time.
But in this particular occurrence,
he might be hot to something.
John, you are a loser.
A broken clock, Carl.
Correct.
This is also funny because John's been trying to leach his way
back into KB's Good Grace and then be on a show.
And that's over, at least for a couple of weeks.
Yeah, at least for a couple of weeks.
None of these people are real.
This is the thing that we all learned is, you know,
Kevin Brennan went off on Chad Zumak for months
and what a piece of shit he is,
and he'll never work with him ever again.
And now Chad Zumak's a regular on his show again.
And it's amazing how Bob Levy was a great standup comic
when Bob Levy was the second mic on MLC.
And then as soon as he left that show,
he's terrible and no one likes him and he's not funny.
These people are all phonies.
Hear what I make.
You have no, I'll tell you who I am
winning over.
I mean, I'll tell you
I'm making more money than you.
That's a fact.
And again, I've pointed this out a number of times.
Kevin Brennan talks about this,
Stuttering John talks about this.
No one in the dabble verse
is making real this. No one in the dabble verse is making real money.
No one is making real money.
Now no one's making Howard Stern money.
No one's making smartless money.
SiriusXM is out looking to buy my show
for $100 million over the next three years.
So the idea that these idiots talk about making more money
and Kevin Brennan wants to see my bank account statements.
It's insane. These people are losers.
I make him all money than your mother.
I make it more money than your mother. That's a weird your mama joke right there.
I never had that before.
So desperate.
No, what he's, what he's saying is I can take better care of you.
Is that what he's saying?
He's literally talking about a widow.
Jesus. Fucking idiots. Jesus. Fucking idiots.
So it's just, you know, I'm so over fucking getting burned by all these fucking losers.
It's just like, so now I'm getting trashed by Kate Meany.
Gray!
She was just on my show yesterday.
Fucking hell!
Well, Lucy, you just took a sip with Jodja, Sal. It's pretty amazing.
I didn't like it. I didn't like it.
You guys are in sync right now.
Take it back, take it back.
I just want to say Lucy Titebox and I obviously have a lot in common.
I can't wait for my ring light, dude. I'd agree. I just want to say Lucy Titebox and I obviously have a lot in common.
I can't wait for my ring light, dude.
I look good.
Yeah, you could use it.
I wonder if the menstrual cycles have lined up.
Yeah.
And that's it.
That's it. I am done.
No, no more Kate Meany.
I don't want anything to do with her. She's a fucking loser.
Who doesn't know how to fucking treat people that treat her well?
Is that true?
Her mother is literally a TV executive.
I don't know anything about Kate Meanie because I don't give a shit.
Okay, that'd be funny if that's true
If she makes 20 times as much as Hillary
They were nefarious and I would like to apply for a job
I used to be the one guy for Jay Leno. I would do that.
Hosts.
If people are on our page, you have to check out this episode that we did with
producer Chris and Tuki, where we went through John's emails to executives at
CBS saying that he wanted, he was looking for anything. I mean,
these are not good emails for looking for employment.
I'll do whatever you need, whether you need like a host or a guest spot for a sitcom,
whether you need it or not.
I hope some of us sit.
I know what it's.
He has to ask the.
You would see the voiceover of the wonder years. Yeah, maybe it's it's how I met your gross father who I
divorced is the name of the new sitcom. The Dunder Years.
But he also felt he was at a level where he was above
casting. Yes. Like they would put a project together for him.
They would like someone an executive would want him.
He still thinks that he still thinks that everybody's gonna do everything for him
Real to the head writer. He knows me. He knows he hired a guy. I'm friends with so he knows I don't need to audition
Use to it
From what I hear she had an abusive fucking mother and now here she is fucking
Trashing me on Brandon
fucking daddy
Now I'm gonna piss off yes you are cuz you don't care
No, I know I'm young makes me stand me right in the back
Kate Meany just stabbed me right in the back. I
Don't want to fuck her. I don't want to date her. I've made that clear this whole time
I don't want to go down on her. I I don't wanna put my tongue in a butthole.
I don't wanna moan about who luscious tits.
Let me go through all the things
I don't wanna do with Kate Meady.
I'll tell you right now.
Don't wanna finish in a mouth.
I don't wanna do snowball bee after I do that.
That actually is true.
That last one actually is true.
after I do that. That actually is true. That last one actually is true.
All I was was nice to her as I was yesterday. And now she's on Brandon trashing me.
This is, this is, yeah, come on. This motherfucker has, you know, he's been bothering her to come on his show for weeks to months. Yep She finally says yes
He has her on she plays nice
Then she goes on Brennan and Brennan's like
He's a loser. Why'd you do that? And she's like, I don't know he because he wouldn't leave me alone until I did
Yeah, that's what happened. He's badgering her. Yes
He does every button. Fucking sucks.
But could you imagine John could have handled this and this is the
M.O. of Suttering John's why he's is where he is in life.
He could have handled this so much better. This could have been handled so much better.
What do you have? He should have.
Well, okay. Somebody else could have handled this so much better. What do you have? You should have. Well, okay. Somebody else could have handled this so much better.
Yes.
He could not have.
But again, he goes back to the fact that he goes,
she goes on, we were getting along,
and she goes on Kevin's show and trashes me.
What she actually said is that you have nothing going on,
you're nobody, and that's true I don't
know Judd you're not in show business anymore you're the laughing stock of the
devil verse I don't know what you think she's gonna say I mean this is either
the facts I wouldn't want
Fucking hell. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, John's a nobody. Oh, really? Really, Kate? Oh, no, nobody. Oh, no, really? Oh, no, let's see. Don't do it. Don't do it. Fucking idiot. Oh, no, don't do it, John. Don't go to your resume.
You can't go to your resume, John. Don't do it.
Fucking asshole. Man, what else?
Kate. Fucking. Maybe. I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't been this upset about a girl who I didn't want to fucking
have had nothing to do with. Not like me. This is bizarre behavior.
Because she doesn't care. I only get this upset about women that don't want to fuck me.
And I don't like the fact that he's implying that being a slut is a choice.
Right. You're born with that. And I don't like the fact that he's implying that being a slut is a choice. Right!
You're born with that.
That's that. Right. Precisely.
Just like how your first born was a boy,
Kate Meany was born a slut.
What are you going to do?
I'm a whore. Yeah, I'll trash John if you're paying me.
I'll trash shot for free
What does that make me?
You fucking
Hey, okay, I'm a nobody right? Oh, no, Oh, no. Don't do it. Don't do it
Yeah, wow
Okay, okay
Okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no
One son
Um
Why am I seeing number one that's this Kevin Brennan?
Yeah, cuz yeah crashing on there. Yeah, he wasn't anything's thanks. Yeah, she's showing her that there's nothing there. Oh
This I was in cast away Drives you nuts fucking drives you nuts
Uh fucking k fucking oh he's so upset the link he gets just got dumped
You fucking all right, so what's the scenario here because this is a crazy reaction to this I have to
think after Kate Meanie came on his show and he's at the end of it he's like love you sweetie
hey you guys are great but he had these these fantasies in his head he's fast forwarding
a month or two from now where him and Kate Meanie are dating and they're the hot celeb couple. TMZ is following
them around. John is throwing it in all of our faces. Instead of doing that finger thing where
his fingers just like crooked, he's just like, yeah, I'm smelling it right now and it's like,
ah, you know, we're all like, damn it, we won. He got it. He got over on all of us because otherwise,
why would you react like this? This is insane. I
Think he's just super hurt because yeah, he thinks of her as such a gigantic slut and yet he can't get any from her
So like based on what he has to say she is the biggest slut in the world and still she's not fucking him She'll fuck anyone even Alex Stein
But I think for one second that night,
he pictured their wedding. Yes.
I guarantee he started writing his vows.
Yeah. I think he's tearing them up right now.
He's like, fucking bitch, I vow to lick your butthole.
Pissing your mouth and your ass.
I don't think that it's that he thinks that she's a slut.
I think he thinks that he's so far above her.
Yes.
That she should be clamoring to just be in his world.
And she doesn't care about that.
Good point.
Where John is correct is thinking that it's ridiculous to kiss up to Kevin Brennan.
People, for whatever reason, I chanted this perception.
A lot of people have this perception that Kevin Brennan's show is so big, it's not.
And Patrick Melton breaks this down.
I have a couple clips that we'll play in a second.
Patrick Melton breaks this down perfectly where he goes,
let's say Kevin Brennan has 2,000 viewers
to his show, generously over the course of his show,
2,000 people tune in.
And then it goes behind the paywall
and his 800 Patreon subscribers all watch it.
That's 2,800 viewers.
Patrick Milton breaks it down and he goes,
that means that Tukey is more popular,
the potato is more popular, he's more popular.
Who are these podcasts is way more popular. Like all of these shows, he's more popular, who are these podcasts
that's way more popular, like all these shows
are bigger than Kevin Brennan's show,
even Southern John's show is now getting 4,000 views,
3,000 views after the fact,
because he's starting to leave them up now,
and he's finally figured that fucking out.
And the fact that everyone acts like
Kevin Brennan's like the pinnacle,
oh my gosh, if we can just get on Kevin Brennan's show,
it's not a big show.
It's got this audience of losers who connect with this guy who's angry all the time, who's mad at everybody.
But it's not like the biggest show in the devil verse, not even close.
So when he sees like Kate Meany going, well, you're taking his side. I kind of get it.
He's going, what the fuck? You like coming over me? No, everyone likes coming over you, obviously. That's not enough for debates.
But it just shows what a loser you are.
Fucking asshole.
Can't fucking deal. I just can't.
It's just, you know, you try and do something nice
and then they fucking just track it.
It's just, I can't deal with it anymore.
I'm done. No more. Why do I care? Because I don't like getting burned.
That's why I care. You know I don't give a fuck.
But Kate! I don't give a fuck.
It was just somebody's show yesterday.
I'm gonna tell it right now. Do not. Please do not respond.
But I'm ready to give you another try.
That's the most childish thing ever. He's sending a note to her and saying,
you're out of my life and don't even try to respond. It's over. I'm blocking you.
So in his mind, she wanted to respond.
Yes, right. She wanted to lead for his forgiveness, but he's
not even going to hear that. He's been burned too many times
by the slut. Yeah, he said, I'm tired of getting burned by you
losers initially there. Yeah. And but he's such a smart guy.
How are you getting burned by losers?
That's a good point. The one thing I've never said on WATP is like you losers keep burning me over and over again I
Know just out of nowhere you just get burned that was in a good mood
Of course you're in a good mood you thought you and Kate we're gonna get married
Overhearing a woman's conversation at brunch about her fourth date.
Oh, I thought he was the one who shut up. All right. Oh, you know what?
This reminds me of I've never talked about this before.
It's a stupid addict, though.
I used to work at this restaurant and there was I was in the kitchen
and there was a girl who I had gone out with for dinner or something.
And I thought maybe we were going to or something, and I thought maybe we were gonna get something going.
And so I,
You weren't fucking?
I, we weren't fucking.
But I thought maybe someone was gonna happen there.
And I remember we had, back in the back room,
we had video cameras that were watching,
you know, the front of the house.
And I looked back there,
she's making out with some guy in a booth,
during her shift, and I'm like,
what the fuck?
This is what John just went through. He's a hot fucking clown night. He's like she was at my show
This is going great. She loves me and then he flips on
LLC. She's like yeah, John's illusion is like what?
Just moments before he's like do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do he's like do do do do do. Let's see what's happening at MLC.
Skipping over coarse cans at his house.
Yeah.
Looks like Carl's bringing out a.
A brown.
Yeah.
Dessert.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Carl's bringing out a free dessert that's cube free. Do it.
Do it.
Just run down there.
There is the fucking whore.
Fucking trash.
Yes, I can say whore.
I mean, you can be.
Shouldn't make you look bad.
Turned cold.
Biyosh.
Can I just point this out to John, because he's not understanding this.
When he calls Kate Meanie a whore, where he makes jokes about people in my family having really terrible diseases,
it makes him look bad.
He's not burning these people.
He's making everyone turn on him. Anyone who would like him.
I've talked about this with numerous people.
I'm starting to feel bad for John and then he did this and then he said that and I don't feel bad for him anymore
He does this all for it over again. He could not figure out a way to get any sympathy going for him
All right
Fucking hell
Exasperated so fucking gangry. Yeah, you gotta get in a better mood. All right. Let's drink. Yeah, let's go
Yeah, dickhead Hey, John with a bother you if I went out with Kate not at all
She asked I know she's kind of like your ex and I don't want any friction between you
No, no, no no no no no get ahead she deserves a creep like you
and fucking with me okay mean he just fucked me again Stevie oh now he's
talking to Stevie Lou oh this is funny he Stevie's like, yeah, she's here. She's telling me all about it.
All right. Oh, okay. Me need to just fuck me again. Stevie.
I mean, what do you I mean?
After she does my show yesterday and she turns on me again.
Yeah, I don't know.
She didn't sleep over John.
Usually when she turns on a guy she's presenting.
Not for John though.
Well, yeah, well, that bitch is, I'm done with that bitch.
That's for sure.
Oh yeah. Yeah, you dumped her.
You got it. You guys are so entangled.
You can't fire me.
I quit.
Okay.
All right, buddy.
You know, I'm glad Stevie Lou fucking fucking heard fucking Kate fucking meanie fucking
just turn on me.
But no reason.
But no fucking reason.
My God.
I didn't do shit. For no reason. For no fucking reason. Oh my God.
I didn't do shit to her.
No, people just think you're a loser.
I keep explaining this to John.
I know he watches the show, so I'll explain it again.
It's not that you're not doing anything,
it's just that people are observing you
and coming to the same conclusion that we all do
that you're a pathetic loser. That's all. Kate Meadie didn't say that she hates your guts. She just
goes, yeah, he's a loser. He's got nothing going on in life. She's correct. That's all.
Also, anytime somebody screams in my face, for no reason, that's the reason. That's the reason.
Correct. You acting like this is the reason why we hate you and
Andy is cheering you backstage right now Lucy as you explain this
Yeah, I know John's a nothing. Yeah, John's not winning. You are a fucking back
standing
crunt
CRUNT!
What's a crunt? I've been acting guys. And I text ya!
It's a safe word.
Okay, I can't. Okay, fair enough.
Don't text me.
Don't. I don't want to fucking hear from you.
I don't think you have to worry about that.
Right.
It's the least of your concerns.
I hope this hot chick doesn't start texting me all over and over again.
Don't send me beer
If I see you in Atlantic City definitely don't blow me in my hotel room because if you do that
He's like Crystal Lea with none of the pole
That's the worst thing you can say Phantom Danny
That's the worst thing you can say. Phantom Denny. She's tearing on you cuz she's with me and I'm good. We get it. We get it. Take her out. Fuck her in the air. Some cares.
You cares Denny. Nobody cares. And I do mean nobody.
You do John. It's obvious. What are you talking about?
Don't talk to me anymore. Fuckin' Kate.
Oh, we're not allowed to watch him anymore either.
Don't.
Oh, no.
It's over.
We're done.
We're done.
Capice?
Good.
I'm going to extend like that and be totally cool,
and then the fucking poor trash to me.
Well, John, I was with Kevin
He's taking this well
Take my name out of your eyes now he's calling Judo biscotti a guy who's hated forever
And I was talking to Gene all about this.
This is, that's what I mean.
I'm so on, I'm done with this world.
I'm out of it.
The enemy of my friend.
Potato soup, watching on Sunday nights,
I'm tapping out.
I can't do this anymore.
This is insane.
This is so stupid.
You had a good run, man.
It's fine, it's good, I'm happy with it.
But I'd rather watch that gambling addict
that Tuki's talking about,
because this is
I was gonna say just this video, the music, the cuts. It's great. It's Oscar worthy parts and new rules.
So it's a 13 minute video playing all of it.
It's fantastic.
This guy put that together because he must have put Kevin Brennan's IMDB there
and then stat, right? Because.
Oh, maybe.
Yeah.
Because if John pulled up Kevin's IM am. Yeah. That's embarrassing. But if somebody
did it in there, that's comedy genius. Gotcha. Yeah. I wouldn't pay attention to that. All
right. It's kind of comedy gold. The either way. Yes. Yes Yes, you were right Jane. Oh you were right
Someone spliced together Gino making a racial joke with John yelling Gino you were right that's it that'd be fun
She made you a four and ten of five and a half good good good
Great comeback she just said the chance. How do you go?
good
Good, I don't care. I don't care. What part of I don't care. Are you not getting? I
Don't care are you not getting I Don't care
You know he was going there, I'm sorry super nictable
Good I'm a four I'm a four but you're a bro you live up your debt your mommy
I'm a four but you're a bro you live up your debt your mommy
Phantom Danny I told
Kate that you need egg plant pills we left all night long and she said you're a gross old creep
That's a good one, Denny.
Fuckin' hell.
I'm right all the time.
I'm tired of telling, like, John, I'm gonna tell you something, John, and I like you,
buddy.
Grow the fuck up, John.
If you wanna do a podcast, do a podcast, don't let me.
See?
See, that's funny.
I was-
Gino, well said.
Grow the fuck up, John.
What are you doing?
You are a loser bitch boy on the internet right now.
Say something, John.
And I like it, buddy.
Grow the fuck up, John.
If you want to do a podcast, do a podcast.
Don't let... see, see that's funny.
I was kidding, John.
I got kidding. I got I will
Have sex with Keanu. I
Will marry
Kristen Carney and I'll kill Kate me. That's I mean that's
Fucking Wow Wow Oh, fucking. How? Wow. Wow.
Well done. Burns and noobs.
Brilliant. Brilliant video.
I'm a sad, a sad stuttering joke.
It's cool.
Unfortunately, producer Chris doesn't have a sound bar today
or else we'd get the song school, although Cardiff might have it.
I should not think about it.
I don't have somber school.
Somber school.
All right.
Juicy.
That's not even close, Andy.
I don't know what you're talking about.
All right.
So Patrick Melton, nobody likes onions, came on his show after the whole, I don't know
if it's called mandolin gate or nap gate, whatever it is, whatever that thing is.
I feel like there's two types of people
and there's literally just two types of people in this world.
There are people who think the video
that Vince DeLoyer edited together
is the most embarrassing thing
that's ever been done on the internet
and people who think it's nothing.
There's no one in between.
There's, it's either the most embarrassing ever
or it's nothing.
And I think it has a lot to do with how you feel about me coming into it.
So I thought that Patrick did a good job of reviewing Kevin's review.
Remember, the seven second clip between me and my wife was
two hours plus of fodder on Mizraho's company and it continues on to this day.
Kevin has ever seen on the internet
Check so he's saying that this is the most embarrassing thing he sees laughing
This is the most embarrassing thing that Kevin has ever seen on the internet. She couldn't come
You know we didn't spend two hours on that so you're all fucking delusional
Again, I wish it was all recorded. Now look,
it's a thing forever, right?
Movie can't make his wife come. And anytime Carl starts getting testy from now on, I imagine
people will pipe up with this joke. Aw, do you need a nap? That was my request. I mean,
look, it's out there now. It's funny. It is a thing. It's the most embarrassing clip Kevin has ever seen on the Internet.
Chad stood up in a court Zoom meeting with no pants on.
Thank you. Thank you, Patrick.
There's some other things that have happened.
Let's not forget other embarrassing moments
that have been, been out there. Now look, this is a pathetic attempt to get everyone
to cover this and it worked cause I'm going to cover it, but not in a way you think, not
in a way you think this, I'm sorry, but three hours about this clip does nothing but scream mental illness to me from Kevin
Brennan. I mean, this is a nothing hamburger. I mean, it really is. It really, really is.
And I see all the, wow, Carl cucking comments in the chat. I'm not, I'm not biting today.
What is is man, what is is. And if you think this is a three hour,
if you think Kevin is really upset about this,
you're out of your mind.
You're out of your fucking mind.
So this is just kind of a objective take.
And what Kevin thought was the craziest thing
he's ever seen in
his life and listen I've seen the debate back and forth I was actually shocked
people were still talking about it but that's the big thing that's going on and
thank you Patrick Melton for breaking it down for us he did a brilliant job
all right we have Annie here what's happening, Annie? Oh, hello. Oh, hello. Hello. And when we bring on Annie,
you know what that means? First, I gotta ask you a question, Carl. Yeah, what's up? Do
you want toes for teeth or teeth for toes? Oh, now that's some banter I can get behind.
The latter. Now ask me why. Why? I don't know you don't care
He already has teeth for toes
All right, so let's get ready to poke a dab on everyone shall we
It's time for everyone's favorite new game show
to poke a
favorite new game show to poke a dab.
By the way, just because it reminded me of the dabbles out here, John did a whole show
of watching Cardiff Electric.
Well, a show and a half.
Yeah, making fun of John, not understanding.
And I love the fact that John is yelling at a potato
that's not there with him to respond.
He's just screaming at you.
Meanwhile, you're doing a Rod Serling impression.
It's the dabble zone.
He's not getting it's a black and white.
He's not getting any of this.
It's so insane.
That was, that was fantastic.
But it was, it was John's excuse to play what he considered to be one of his
victorious segments on the Howard Stern show
But acting like he was critiquing Cardiff
Well, I cut him off the day before when he was trying to play it like and I felt bad doing it only because it was gonna
Get to the part where it really made him look bad. Yeah
But he took that and that's what he doubled down the next day really needed to show this part
He got the video and yeah, he doubled down the next day and really he needed to show this part. He got the video.
And yeah, he didn't he didn't understand what
what was wrong with doubling down on that.
Yeah, his big got I don't want to I don't want to rehash it is big gotcha.
This is the thing that John will never understand. He was a shitty father and a shitty husband.
And Gary Del Bate was the opposite.
and a shitty husband. And Gary Del Bate was the opposite.
So on the Howard Stern show back in the 90s,
the big gotcha was John turned around the fact
that he was treating his wife like shit
during the Super Bowl with his friends
or were showing off in front of his friends,
making her clean up, making her do all the work.
And yeah, look at this guys,
I can tell my wife to do whatever the fuck I want.
And then he turned that around on Gary
because Gary Del Bate, his wife was out playing tennis
on a weeknight.
And so when Gary Del Bate's son vomited,
Gary had to clean it up.
And he's like, look at this loser cleaning up
his son's vomit when his wife is at home.
It's like, yeah, well, that's why he still has
his nuclear family intact and you have nothing.
Do you understand that?
I wouldn't bring that up now, John, considering how this is all played out.
It'd be a different story if you were still married and your wife was still hot and all
that kind of stuff, but it's just the opposite.
When I was playing that clip, I wasn't saying it wasn't funny at the time.
Yeah.
I was saying, looking at it through the lens of 2024, John.
Yes.
It's not hilarious. Yeah, it didn't go well for you idiots
Are you ready to poke a dabbler
Look
Look, I'm not saying any of this is true
Well, I already thought yeah Vince made some fucking
non-salon jokie comment and
I just pretend I didn't know what he was talking about,
but I played along. And Lady Kay, oh, he got his panties in a bunch. Oh my...
This is the revenge porn for my wife, this thing. Okay, yeah. I remember this.
Things have turned very... This is where I say, like, this whole universe is getting so stupid.
This went from John saying in nudes of my wife
that he was jerking off to.
Now she's a hippo and gross and he'd rather
fuck his hand than her, but okay.
Which one's the lie?
Which one's the lie?
I have no idea.
All of them.
Oh my God, he was having a conifption
How dare you I can goof on John's kids ad nauseam, but how dare you make any jokes about my wife?
How dare you I?
Condition up, but I can't take it ain't that right Carl
Weren't jokes. They were fake threats ain't that right? Yeah, I know they weren't just
Literally to say over and over again. How is family's doing great, but okay you oh, yeah
All you tough guys in a double verse. Yeah, have you ever heard of Newton's third law?
Spectre NS5 RD. Thanks for the 20 bucks my man. Let me tell you something right now.
I'll leave Spectre up because I really appreciate it.
Okay, see no look.
Look, this is how the rumors get started in a dabble verse.
And this is why I cannot be beat in a dabble verse and this is why I cannot be beat in
the dabble verse
because
These guys don't know
That I am the smartest one
in
The dabble verse
That's pretty good sentence
Stand that yet.
And still Lady K doesn't get it.
He doesn't get I'm smarter than him.
I'll always be smarter than him.
It's a fact.
Even on Vince's show today, they said, John,
we know you're the smartest one in the double verse.
Of course. Well, there's one thing I know about Vince's one in the double verse. Of course.
Well, there's one thing I know about Vincent's show is it's always telling the truth.
Vince is a straight shooter.
He was never a doctor.
It's a troll-free zone.
Yeah, he's never doctoring videos and changing what people say and things like that.
So if Vince said it, I'm sure it's true.
But yeah, his wiping his fucking nose.
Just turn off your camera and blow your fucking nose and come back
He's a fucking grown-up garbage pail kid
What would his name be if he was a garbage pail kid?
Stuttering fuckface
It'd be John John in a bathroom.
Of course.
I went to the 38th ranked best university in the world.
Yeah, went.
I graduated from what to?
The slurdy eighth.
Slimer on John Melendez.
My kids are geniuses.
My dad went to Rensselaer Business Engineering School.
Oh, this is holy shit.
Holy shit.
It's literally my dad could beat up your dad talk is where he's going to do it.
This. Wow. This is crazy.
The best in the world.
This is crazy. The best in the world.
Brings one strong in the Melendez family.
My grandmother bought so much, Philip Morris stock,
she died a millionaire.
Yeah, you know what?
My grandma told Hitler not to fight on both fronts
at the same time because the Russians are
a tough task.
But did they listen to her?
No.
You can't take on the Russians in the rest of Europe.
She's like, you don't want to be there in winter.
No one's listening.
My father died a multi-millionaire.
Wait, what? His father died a multi-millionaire! Wait, what?
His father died a multi-millionaire?
John, what did you do with the money?
As a TV repairman.
What the fuck is he talking about?
That's because when Melendez is...
Come on, Son, you're a melon so look Vince didn't
say you did okay okay fair enough let's see about that oh shall we shall we and
I'm gonna go to the dope sir oh I don't get to do you know this country and this
guy you know I he kind of just a backtracked but dope stuff. Oh, I don't think I did, you know, this country. And this guy, you know, I, he kind of just a backtracked,
but I, you know, I don't, I don't appreciate it, but you know,
all right.
Okay.
Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me show you here.
So hold on.
All right.
Let me get rid of that one.
Let me get rid of that one.
And then let me go here and then let me go here.
And paste that and I'll put it there.
Smartest guy, smartest guy in the animal verse.
And then I'll go there.
Take it forever.
Craig Edwards with the win, Mucous Melendez.
Yes, that would be the garbage faggot name.
So this is where Edward John's saying he's smarter than all
of us and this is what he's doing on his show.
All right.
OK, now this is what really happened, soldier.
Soldier boy, oh my little soldier boy now
It was Vince
That said it not me not me
Soldier not me
Next your your choices.
Number one, fucking hell.
B, I guess the shit-ware will do three shows on this.
Next, it's a pain in the neck.
Number four, probably my OCD.
And lastly, disgustingly blows his nose to poke a dabbler.
Okay, so he says,
I don't know why my nose is fucking running right now.
And the next thing he's gonna say,
I'm gonna go with B ShitWayer,
we'll do three shows on this, and I'll hand it over to Lucy type box.
What do you think?
I think I'm going to take a cue from your playbook from I think it was last week.
I think he's going to do all of those in that order.
I like that. That would be possible.
I agree. Andy Q. Public. What do you think?
I I'm going gonna go with Carlos or
Cardiff has gotten over on us with some innocuous shit
And I think pain in the neck is innocuous, so I'm gonna pick pain in the neck. Okay, you're innocuous. I like
Producer Chris, what say you I went with lastly
Disgustingly blows nose. Okay, and Annie
I went with lastly, disgustingly blows nose. Okay, and Annie.
Uh, fucking hell, because he stopped paying attention to him saying it,
and it's coming out every, all the time now.
That's true. Okay.
So no one picked Pain in the Knack, right?
No, I did.
And I'm sorry.
Nobody picked OCD.
Nobody picked OCD.
Okay.
All right. Got it.
Well, Lucy picked all of them.
I don't know why I'm in OCD.
It's not true.
I'm just fucking running right now.
Oh, God, it's a pain in the neck.
Holy shit, the pain in the neck is the winner.
You're going to play the player.
Wow. Well done.
So here is Vincent explaining what happened.
That's all for this time.
Come back next time to find out if you have the brains of a Melendez
to poke a dabbler.
I was watching where I could have suffered.
I'm the brain of a Melendez.
I was watching Uncle Rico, which is hard to do these days because
it's not the same time as everything else.
It's not all the time, but at a certain point, John turned his head the other day
and he's got a growth coming out of the side of his neck.
Did you see this cardiff?
I think you all the other, I think it was the other side, but yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whenever someone went out, but yeah, he's got, he's got this big weird growth
coming out of his neck and it seems like it could be serious.
I on a potato.
Something like that.
No offense.
No offense.
There's a reason doesn't want to upgrade his camera.
Yeah, you're right.
And there isn't something to do that.
He likes being standard deaf for some reason.
Tupoke, a dabbler.
Subreddit surfing live Saturday, March the 9th.
Comedy at the Carlson in
Rochester, New York. Get your tickets now at CarlsonComedy.com. Sit Eugene, sit. Good dog.
Pager.com slash Cart of Electric dude. Thank you so much. You always put together these great
games for us today.
I know you were working on this right before the show
and it is much appreciated.
We always have fun poking a dabbler.
Guys, what have we done today?
Well, you're napping.
Yeah, I know.
I'm napping all day and you're poking dabbler.
So I appreciate it.
Guys, what have we done today?
We've done it all.
So you know what that means?
It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
How about this for a teaser?
No new show on Saturday.
What?
We have people over at the house, people are coming in,
staying over.
I have my pool at 87 degrees right now.
There's no fucking way I'm going to sit in this room.
So you're Tom's the girl.
But yes, yes.
There's no fucking way I'm going to sit in this room.
Saturday at 2pm and do a podcast.
We'll do something.
I'll figure something out, but we're not going to do a new episode.
Saturday.
We'll be back with another competition a week from today, but Lucy will not be with us.
I will be on the beach.
Very happy.
Lucy will be on the beach.
That's awesome.
Good for you.
It's that time.
So we're going to have Kate Meany filling in for, no, we will have someone
filling in for L- No, we will have someone filling in for Lucy.
We'll still have a competition show and it'll be myself, Andy,
and someone to be named later.
Let me know who it is so that I can send them some shirts to wear.
Perfect.
I will let you know that Vinny is a size XXXXXL.
you know that Vinny is a size XXXXXL.
He's having some shirts. Later that same day.
Later that same day.
Later that same day.
Later that same day.
Later that same day.
He's having some shirts to wear.
Lucy, thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you.
And being part of the show.
Of course, people can check you out
on Once Over With Kaylee on YouTube.
Yep, that's correct.
I do a lot of movie reviews.
This week I released
a review on the movie Hesher, which was super exciting. And coming up in February, I have
some super exciting Valentine's Day stuff featuring some very special guests, including
Andy Q. Public and Stevie Lou. Oh, you got Stevie Lou coming on the show. What a get.
Big names.
Yeah, lots of exciting stuff though.
I don't normally critique people on this show.
It's not the thing that I do, but I critique your plug just how you go.
You go, I just did a movie hesher, which is super exciting.
You didn't sell me on it.
No.
Were you not pleased with this episode?
You don't think it came out well No. Were you not pleased with this episode?
You don't think it came out well or what happened?
It's awesome.
All right.
Well, that's a confidence stupid.
That's my level of excitement right now.
It's been a while.
It was awesome.
I'm still thinking about the anal lubricant that's going to numb my entire body.
I'm very distracted.
Me too.
I'm still thinking about that too, to be honest with you.
I didn't know that existed.
It's going to change my world. For the better, for the worse.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who's using it on who, potato, none of your business.
Well, thank you, Luis. You always get to see it. Of course, Andy C. Public is here from
the All Apologies podcast.
Yes. We just put out an episode about Sienna May Gomez who is this woman you very
you tumor streamer
Centric week for us and I don't I don't know a lot about YouTube streamers, but they can't stop apologizing and this woman
basically date raped a guy while he was asleep and
Yeah, and then she did an interpretive dance to apologize for it, which is hilarious.
And then we also did JayStation, who is famously a guy that got kicked off of YouTube for basically
Ouija Boarding celebrities who just died.
If you watch Kobe Bryant die in a heli. It was like what ari Shafir did
Okay, pull the Ouija board and tried to have a conversation with Kobe Bryant. That's what this guy was doing
I say with SoundCloud rappers. So it's that's pretty interesting and very
Not SoundCloud rappers. That's where I draw the line. That's not cool.
But I got to say March 9th comedy at the Carlson subreddit surfing live featuring all apologies
and then you know, WTP in Tampa on March 22nd. Fuck yeah. WTP live.com. We're all going to
be there
Annie, what do you got going on?
Well this week Dylan from somewhere and I recorded the episode Batman Arkham City
It's the second in the series and it went pretty well We actually went an hour over time, which is the longest episode we've had by far
We had a lot of fun playing it.
And hopefully for the next episode, we can get Andy on.
We'll try to schedule a date and we'll do Arkham Knight.
Yeah, I'd love to.
And he's a whore.
And you know, I used to like Andy and he was on my show,
but now he's just a whore.
I've been replaying Arkham Knight until I just got my hands on Spider-Man 2. But before I did that, I was I was replaying Arkham Knight until I I just got my hands on spider-man 2 but before I did that I was I was replaying Arkham Knight based on
What you were saying about Arkham City because I love that game and I love the I love the
Mark Hamill oh yeah, I'll win in the Joker and Kevin Conroy that whole world of the old school Fox cartoon.
It's good shit. So I'd love to come on and talk about it.
Yeah, nothing but nerd talk over there.
You can find us on youtube.com slash at WITGS.
Very good. And Cardiff, of course, people check out Potato Soup on Sunday nights.
And you got to stop right at surfing on Monday nights. I think
nerd
Monday's at eight we are subreddit surfing yes and patreon.com slash cartoff electric and
Carlson comedy calm Saturday March night and a carlin bearish himself and of course producer Chris has got nothing going on
Cuz he's a fucking loser hack.
I was going to plug the bonus episode we just dropped.
Other than that, no, no, no, please, you do what you were going to do.
No, we're good. We're good.
Patreon.com slash you are these podcasts, two bonus episodes every single week.
Guys, please join us again next time.
It might be the episode we find out what's for all. Who are these podcasts?
He's my lover, Pony.
Starting in the mosh pit of morning radio.
And now the show is over now.
Hmm, okay.
Great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
Great job, everyone.
Let's play some voicemails.
Let's get into it.
This one is hilarious.
Get ready.
Hey, Carl. This huge erection here. A little song for you.
Taken that taken that gentle Carl go taking that she's old
enough to be his mom stuttering John drop the bomb look out.
Carl's got to go taking that night night, Carl.
Good stuff. Still, still is funny.
By the way, this is the thing that's lost on everyone because Vince the lawyer put that
video together. He's put a couple of videos together of that stream that I did a couple of
years ago to get all these gotchas on me and get the people who don't like me to watch these.
This has to be the best point ever.
This guy's goofing on you for the nap thing.
You're watching Child porn when it happens.
Yes, I'm watching cuties.
I'm literally, if you're gonna goof on me,
I'm watching the movie Cuties on Netflix
during, while this is all happening,
you guys are like, this guy owns a mandolin?
I'm watching cuties. The fuck is wrong happening you guys like this guy holds a band to win I want to cuties the fuck is wrong with you retards see that goes lost I think
that goes to my theory that Jen Jen was saying code for she wants to come you
know get some and she saw you sitting over the giant boner yeah realize now's
the time. Yes. Hey, Carl, have you noticed when John's super chats are running
thin? That's the time he starts insulting his audience. Like, Hey, you guys, you cheap
asses, my super chats are low today. Do you think that kind of tactic makes a super chat
increase or decrease.
I wonder if anybody has the metrics on that. I doubt. I would think it might, must be successful.
Otherwise you wouldn't do it. Although he's a dumbass. So who knows?
Anyway, rock and roll. Yeah. Good point.
I don't know that John's looking at the analytics on that one,
determining how to proceed. I doubt it. If anybody looking at the analytics on that one, determining how to proceed.
I doubt it.
If anybody would have the metrics on that,
I would think it would be Gary.
Gary, we should know.
Yes.
Gary should give us the answer.
That's the person that would have the answer to that question.
He's the one analyzing this.
All right.
This next voicemail, I received a couple of versions of this,
but it's a good point.
And I wanted to play it.
Carl, this is your future co-host, insightful Mike,
calling to drop a nugget of whiz upon you.
On Wednesday's show, John mentioned reporting you to the Defamation League,
which was reported, repeated by you and then Lucy Typebox and Trucker Andy.
On Saturday's show, John doubles down once again,
threatening to report you to the Defamation League.
And you repeated it once again.
Just to clarify, the Defamation League,
I'm pretty sure is a white supremacist group.
And they have to be some of your biggest supporters
and biggest superchatters.
I believe who John wanted to report you to
should be the ADL or the anti
defamation league.
Big difference.
All right.
You're welcome.
No need to tell me that.
Yes.
I'm an idiot.
John's an idiot.
We're all idiots.
Everyone's an idiot.
So it's in the show.
The anti defamation league.
The ADL.
Yes.
I'm going to tell them that you're not to fave me them enough. Good point.
All right, I'm an idiot.
Oh, this is a fun one.
Yeah, I heard my voicemail line which is kind
of retarded.
Yeah, all the fucking podcasts, yeah, of course, no, you do that, let the best.
You don't fucking need them to do it that horse.
So yeah, I don't know why I was to blame you about it. But anyway,
don't fuck yourself any spat. Yeah, see you later.
Alright, no worries, buddy. I appreciate it. Flashy Vic has a good idea for me for Saturday.
Another music special. I mean, think of that.
Twisting by the pool.
I could see we're like, you know, I'm trying to win people over again with all
this controversy that's been going on.
Probably a good time to play the size.
I didn't think we're good enough for the original music special.
That'll win them all over.
Hey, Carl, I just finished easy for you to say on the Patreon, uh, outstanding
job, trashing John's kids as
usual. Also just wanted to say thanks for re-uploading his entire audio book with no commentary. I
was getting ready for my yearly re-list and just wanted to say I appreciate it.
Skull.
Dude, come on, man, you're outing me.
Cool.
Like, cool.
Hello.
outing me cool like hello what up man it's matter Matt I'm working through this new episode and oh my god Dr. Steve is exactly what I needed he's all right
he's in the back and he's like oh oh he's riding painlessly Oh my God. What is this? People are going to work, man.
And I'll see if that box is so gorgeous.
See you.
Thanks, man.
I'm Matt.
Lucy appreciates the compliments.
I hope they...
Want to hear my Dr. Steve impression?
Yes, please.
He's fucking typing in the chat.
You're on the show, Steve.
Nailed it.
No, I got to tell you, I hope I'm not outing Dr.
Steve. Hope he's not mad at me, but we are messaging after the show. And I really
think he has reversed out in Kruger. If that's a thing, he always thinks he's
terrible on these shows. He's fantastic. I love Dr. Steve on the show. And he's
just like, Oh, sorry that I saw. Amazing.
I wish he was on more often.
Uh, this might be a poem for Lucy.
I don't know.
I mislabeled some of these.
Let's see.
Hey, Carl, I just wanted to let Lucy know a couple of things.
Okay.
I'm both, uh, six, two, two hundred", 210 pounds of raw muscle.
Nice.
And I got about five foot long hair and I just loved to choke her with it if she was
into that.
And I wrote her a poem.
Roses are red.
Biles are blue.
You got nice tits.
Can I come inside you?
Not bad.
All right, Lucy, take bites.
I love you, girl.
Keep it real.
What do you think, Lucy?
Pretty great.
I don't know.
I still have the peen in my asshole thing stuck in my brain.
So she's not feeling sexy time right now.
I was going to say the opposite.
Come inside me. Be inside. Come on.
So polite, sir.
Daffodils are yellow.
My asshole.
Andy's brother Joe and this is how I sound.
I was just wondering, you know, because I heard that hemorrhoids are genetic.
Yep.
That if Andy has hemorrhoids like I do, so just, Andy, just send me pictures of your
butthole to your brother Joe
Unsolicited I'll know what they're about just send me pictures of your butthole. Okay. Bye. Yeah, and he definitely text your brother
photos of your butthole asap
Just Google the Mars rover pictures of the canals of Mars the red
I was gonna say I could send them my copies if you want.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rizzo speaking, looking for a fucking commander,
first and tip scotter, tough guy, listen,
that is fucking stutter and junk guy.
He comes into the fucking shop, he doesn't know if he wants to buy or sell or rent
The fucking computer. I got I've never by his fucking swollen face. I said you buy that fucking computer and that fucking car
See you later. Wait. Yeah, Rizzo doesn't fuck around which I appreciate about him
Were you supposed to have a rough tips by now? I do have to get my process. But I told Bob leave you. I wanted to be a show. I
heard the Bob say before the game was played that he wasn't
going to frost the tips after the Super Bowl. So I feel like
it's the same leeway. So I'm going to wait until I'm sure.
No, I don't have I thought I'd bring up just based on the
jerky boys reference. Has anybody seen the Ted series on Peacock, the Seth Mac
Barlin? Not yet.
Okay. There's an episode in there that's jerky boys centric. And I got to say the show is
pretty funny.
Good. I'm going to check it out. I'm actually looking forward to it.
Yeah. Reminisce. I like when remember when McGroober came out as a series, which is fantastic.
Oh yeah. which is fantastic and fantastic.
Yeah, it's in it's in that vein.
So I would recommend Ted on Peacock.
All right, we will definitely check that out.
All right, I'm excited about this.
Practice right there from San Diego.
So get B. P. G. W.
Oh, come again.
Oh, come on back.
Theory, hang up.
Theory, openhornhub.com.
Theory, search big tittied tattooed Jewish broads.
Oh yeah. Oh, oh shit dude, Bimber and his guy,
your phone didn't hang up, we told you to hang it up. Oh damn it
That sucks. I was just about to get upset over the fact that I didn't get a hello
But I feel better now. Well, I will tell you I heard that voice now this morning
And I reached out to the jacos department
Ban ban ban ban practice guy world order
BPGWO
Plus you got it buddy Band Band Practice Guy World Order BPGWO
Plus, you got it buddy. You have made it.
It's official.
Hey, Carl, it's Monday.
Yeah, so I'm not gonna join the date
Lucy Typebox contest,
but I will join the half sex with Lucy Typebox contest.
Not really sure by anyone's, no one's really joining that one.
But yeah, so Lucy, four book professionals, I'm six two,
go to the gym four to five times a week,
and I have no strong feelings towards sharks.
Kendi will be allowed to join us if she chooses.
And the winner of the date we see type box contest
can sit in the corner and watch,
you know, it's probably the end of that I guess. After our seven minutes of passion, we can watch
Blade Runner and I guess talk about it. All right. Look forward to our business transaction. Call me back.
That's a good day. Yeah. I kind of rollercoastered on that, but then I got, I was back in after
Blade Runner. Which version first and then talking about it
Yeah, well the real problem
The real problem with the contest is that all of the losers of the win the date with Lucy tightbox contest Get funneled into the win the date with Andy Q public. That's true. That's so
Before war no one's ready to find print on this one. I can tell
Before work. No one's ready to find print on this one. I can tell
Well speaking of beating up sharks and trying to impress Lucy
Deluxe on the left coast called it again
This is for the clubfoot cock block Carl
She bore deluxe. I think you called me a simp last week on the show, after the little palm, the other
simps.
Let me explain it to you.
First of all, I went out and fought sharks.
Second of all, I got my arm bit off.
I didn't complain about it.
Third of all, I rewrote a little bit of Shakespeare.
No big deal.
Now, if I lived in Utica and played video games, I'd be a simp.
I live in Orange County.
That's called eccentric behavior.
Oh, there goes the crazy eccentric fighting shark.
That's how it works.
Now your problem is if you blow it, we're Lucy,
she's gonna be pissed and your life is gonna be hell.
Peace.
Thank you Deluxe for explaining that to me.
I'm an idiot, obviously.
All right.
Yeah, Carl, stop ruining my chances.
You're right.
My bad.
I'll get out of the way.
Prep boy Rick calling in.
Hey, Carl.
This is prep boy Rick.
All I wanted to say is while I would like to enter into the Lucy tight box sweepstakes
because that would be fun and great. She has
to answer a question correctly for me before I do so.
Okay. Oh no.
So Lucy, here's the thing. Who is the funniest person on match game? And I will give you
three, two.
I'm too afraid. One. I'm too afraid.
One.
I'm pausing it.
Who's the funniest person on match game?
On match game.
I have no idea.
I don't know if that's the answer.
I don't know if that's the answer.
I think I just lost.
I missed my opportunity.
And if you didn't say Charles Nelson Riley, you are a dumb hole and you can go and I don't
know whatever in cell bullshit people say nowadays.
But if you did, then hey, I was younger.
All right, calm the back.
Prep boy.
She didn't prep boy wreck.
That was the correct answer.
All right.
I'm also disappointed. Dumb get it on yeah very disappointing my knowledge
of match game is relatively low work on that okay I'll try hey dude about the
win at it with trucker Andy Contest it's like you know I like Andy he looks like
a nice guy right he's prehandsome but instead you should make a win at it with
producer Chris Contest because you know know, let's be honest,
out of everyone who was your show, females included, Chris is the only attractive person.
So yeah, you know, fuck you, Carl and Chris.
Come back. Bye. Wow.
Chris, look at the smile on that.
Turning red.
So happy to be the only attractive person.
I got a pick over here.
She seemed in person.
I have to say, as you guys were talking,
I went to my email and found that Doug from the Junkos
Department sent me over that band practice guy.
I didn't have that ready to go before the show started.
And I just went through the folder
and he sent me and he also sent me this one.
N-N-N-N-Napping world order, N-W-O.
Watch out, N-W-O is coming for you.
All right, we did it everyone. We did a long show.
I was planning on doing a short show.
And it was a long show.
Carter feels like you have something to say, do you?
No, I hit the cough button.
Very good.
Man, that was a good episode.
That was a good episode.
I enjoyed that. I-ed, master of disguise
You can turn into a fiftica, completely different guy
Ban Ban Ban Ban Practice Guy World Order
BPGWO
That was a great episode!
That was really great!
Okay, folks!
Guess what?
The episodes over! folks guess what the episode's over