Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep491 - Parenting Podcasts
Episode Date: February 8, 2024This week we’re checking out podcasts in the parenting category. What’s your favorite podcast from this category? Too many to choose from? Well Andy comes in hot with Two Hot Takes featuring a cou...ple of women with zero takes. Then Vinnie presents No Guilt Mom which provides moms of teenagers with terrible advice that will most likely turn your children against you. Finally I come in with Hook Line and Smiley, a show that features the Kenny Powers of Christian comedians. You can vote on who you thought brought the worst parenting podcast on our Patreon page. Cringe of the Week is on fire this week including Andy’s perfect timing on Who Are These Broadcasters, Ethan Ralph hanging up on his rival and then challenging him afterwards, and Stevie Lew bombing on Rock Bottom. Because Vinnie is with us, I bring some more comedy, this time checking in on some songs from Kristine Knowlton. Then Cardiff joins as we talk Stuttering John declaring war on Pat Dixon after he was very polite to him and SJ violating the YouTube ToS. We also check in on Kevin Brennan who throws a tantrum because one of his superchatters gave money to Stuttering John. And finally another game of To Poke A Dabbler and your voicemails. Tickets to the live show in Florida on March 22nd! – http://watplive.com Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st - June 2nd - https://www.hackamania.com/ https://thecreepoff.com/ https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@cardiffelectric Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Episode 4
Nighty One
You're the parent sucks, right?
Are you a boner guy?
Oh, I was a boner guy.
You know what I miss being a...
What are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize.
By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up.
I hate this fucking show.
Boom! Hightake! I've been dying to say that. Remember to shut the fuck up
I've been dying to say that cuz cuz a row cuz a row slap a runee W-A-T-P-E-W-A-T-P-E-W-A-T-P-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- Apology verse from the all apologies podcast. It's trucker Andy aka Andy Q public Let's talk shit also with us today filling in for everyone's favorite sea cops and currently pouring out of them from the creep off and
Suburban surfing its mini Paulino. Hola creepos and aloha big kahoonas and Alex is reminding us
We just celebrated our 200th episode of the creep off to yes cheers. We did it
They said we couldn't do it. Who's they? No one
No one even cared you and me
Yeah, all of us what he's talking about. Please go to where these dot com get our email address voice phone
Related to the subreddit like to our discord server link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel and link to patreon supercast featuring two
Exclusive bonus episodes every single month and you can watch the unedited show live or whenever you want to
Also, our mailing address is on the subreddit.
I just got another letter from the podcast hitman.
Oh, Matt Lewinsky.
Come on.
Just let me see it.
I haven't opened yet.
Just let me see it.
Let me smell it.
And I got this in the mail.
This is exciting.
Phil Elmore's book.
Yeah.
Flashlight fighting.
Everybody went flashlight fighting. What's great about it is that there are photos.
Fuck out of here. Almost a picture book. Svelte Elmore. There's also recipes for some reason.
So anyway, that's why you want to go to whoarethese.com. Also on that site is a link and that link goes to a thing called
WTP live.com and tickets are on sale.
Tickets are on sale. WTP live. We're going to be in Largo, Florida,
March 22nd. We invite you to come hang out with us and watch the live show.
The Revenge of the Cis guys are going to be there. All of us will be there along
with Lucy Typebox
and Jenny Jingles and Dr. Steve and Tuki and Cardiff.
Wow.
Yeah.
It is jam packed.
I'm excited about that.
Also, for you folks, maybe on the West Coast,
May 31st through June 2nd, we'll be in Las Vegas
as a part of Hack-a-Media.
We're going to teaming up the NLO, Nobody Likes Onions,
and go to hackamania.com.
Bet you wish you owned that domain.
I'm surprised it was available.
I know, me too.
Hackamania.com is where you can get tickets
for the Vegas show, May 31st through June 2nd.
Also, we encourage our listeners,
give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts
or every review podcast that
shows us in the comments section. Today, we'll be competing
for the worst podcast in the parenting category. We have each
brought a different show and you the listener will be able to
vote on which one was the worst. Let's start with the results
from last week's podcast. Last week, we did the worst sex and
relationship podcast.
podcast. Last week, we did the worst sex and relationship podcast.
And the creep off when?
Well, I'll just say this.
Coming in his second place was Andy, three girls, one kitchen. You I thought you deserved to win it.
Lana Rhodes, I thought you did a great job explaining what a piece of shit she is.
And you did a fantastic job with that.
Thanks, buddy. So yeah, you inspired me to do research after the show.
I've been researching her all week.
That's what I get for trying.
Second place.
Producer, well, you got 39% of the vote.
So let's find out who won.
Producer Chris, do you have a drum roll for me here?
We can figure out.
It's between me and Lucy to see who the winner was in the sex
and relationship podcasting
category.
Who could it be?
The winner is...
Lucy Typebox with the Kinky Christian Podcast.
52% of the fucking mode.
Jesus Christ.
I got 9% with men's junkie.
I'm a big, big old loser.
Big time, bigly.
So what does that mean?
Not a lot, except for the fact that it means that Andy is going to go first.
Yeah, that makes sense because he got first place out of the two of us.
OK, so Andy, I'm going to pass it over to you.
You needed to find a parenting podcast.
Where did you find this week? I found that the parenting space is very boring
and I was struggling to find something worth it.
I was worried about that.
Yeah, but there are a lot of shitheads
that don't know what they're talking about.
Okay, thank you for reminding me though of something.
So last week was Sex and Relationships
and I thought, well, this will be interesting.
Tons of interesting podcasts in this category and Lucy found
The most boring podcast and the fact that you assholes are rewarding that behavior. You're ruining my show
We don't want boring podcasts on the show
Do you think that podcasts about people talking about their children would be interesting? No, but I figured out a way to do it
Anyway, I
Know all these voters are just like,
yeah, it was a bad show.
I like bad shows.
More bad shows, please.
No, not that way.
Well, I found a show called Two Hot Takes.
And it's hosted by Morgan Absher.
And their description on YouTube reads,
join us as we go through Reddit, our listener writings,
and the rest of the internet to give our hot takes
on the juiciest dating relationship life and am I the asshole
stories. So this is basically a woman reading Reddit.
Gemic infringement. Yeah, if you can see,
synthesis, get that letter out. Did I hear parenting in that
list of things? Well, I certainly didn't. I don't remember hearing
parenting life. Apparently it's whatever they decide they want Did I hear parenting in that list of things? Well, I certainly didn't. I don't remember hearing parenting.
Apparently.
Life.
Apparently it's whatever they decide they want to talk about
from Reddit.
And the one that I found was titled,
I found it because it said parenting.
You're right across the banner of the podcast.
It's a podcast.
It said parenting.
Well, what a slide.
I got you with the legal mumbo joke.
Yeah.
All right, that's fine.
Okay, so in clip one,
Morgan is joined by her sister-in-law, Amy.
So let's check out the hot intro to this hot show
and find some shade because it's going to get real hot.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Yes, I'm ready.
So today I'm joined by a very special guest, my sister-in-law, Amy.
Amy is a PA here in Minnesota and mostly Wisconsin, but I'm coming at her with stories
related to parenting, postpartum depression, and just...
Okay.
Is it tough love or parenting?
Okay. So, you know what? A lot of times I have no idea. Are it tough love or parenting? Okay, so you know what?
A lot of times I have no idea.
Are all parents winging it?
Yes, 100%.
Parents are winging it.
This is the coldest of cold takes
that's been said a million times
on a million shows in a million countries.
Oh, we're just doing our best over here.
And there's a reason for that
because anytime somebody tries to give
you advice about your kids the first thing everybody does is go, don't tell me how to
raise my fucking kids! What am I supposed to take professional advice? So clip
two is her kind of setting that up. I was at swim lessons the other day and my
daughter wouldn't get in the pool and I literally turned to the parent next to
me and I was like I don't know what to do.
Do I make her?
Do I just sit here?
Do I be like, okay, today's not a great day, let's go?
Like, nobody knows.
I don't know.
And she turned to me and she's like, I don't know.
Everyone's just winging it.
Everyone's just winging it.
Well, we'll see what your takes are on these parents
and if they're winging it or absolutely fucking it up.
Oh, okay.
Okay, let's dive in.
Let's do it.
Can I offer some advice early on on the show?
If you're going to do a podcast about parenting,
don't have the cold open be, and I suck at it,
I know nothing about it, me neither.
You know what, whatever I talk to, they don't know either.
All right, let's go. I'll like, chill under me neither. And you know what? Ever I talk to, they don't know either. Let's go.
Stay tuned.
I'll like, chill.
OK, great.
Spoiler alert.
It's going to be more of that.
This would be like Ray DeVito having a pocket
about how to write a joke.
Like, well, hold on a second.
So you see there is kind of.
Sorry, I got a cheap shot there for no reason.
I love you, Ray.
I'm here in a mood.
So they have like a hot ones ripoff title card.
Yes.
And again, whether you're giving your kids
pink eye at a public pool or having dinner with your mother
in law at Thanksgiving, nobody is going
to accept parenting advice from another person.
Right.
And clip three is going to.
There's hundreds and thousands of podcasts
that do just that. but I'm telling you.
Yes. So Vinny will recognize this as they take to Am I the Asshole so that they will prove my point.
First, this post kind of blew up on Reddit. The number of awards it has is absolutely baffling.
So, Am I the Asshole for saying things my wife gives our infant in front of our child's
doctor?
This is right up your alley.
Yeah, it is.
Okay.
My wife and I have a two-month-old daughter.
For the past month, she's been feeding our baby mashed potatoes, applesauce, sweet pea,
assorted fruit juices.
Wait, how old?
Two months old.
Okay.
And other things.
The last time we went to the doctor,
our pediatrician told us not to give her anything,
but formula, until she was between four to six months old.
Yeah, sorry.
My wife does not care and says she knows best for our child
and our doctor isn't the parent.
So this lady is like, go ahead, Vinny, what?
Oh no, I just wanna know how you feed a two month old mashed potato.
I was thinking the same thing.
What do you use, like a frosting bag?
Well, yeah.
Well, my mother's intuition is telling me to give my kid Hawaiian punch and ice cream
and that doctor is a fucking quack.
So I know best.
Wow.
And a clip for, called Colic, the dad goes into a little more detail about why he's taken to Reddit to get help dealing
with his idiot wife.
Our daughter is always constipated and screams for hours at night that my wife says is, Colic?
I've asked her numerous times to stop feeding our infant table food and go back to giving
her formula.
She is only feeding her one or two bottles of formula while I'm at work.
The other morning she was cooking scrambled eggs and oatmeal and I was off
work.
So I started to make our daughter a bottle and feed her.
And she stopped me and told me not to fill her up with that.
And she wanted her to eat her oatmeal first.
The fact that they said table food,
yeah, they're treating this kid like it's a dog.
We're all picturing.
You know what?
Bad parents.
All right, moving on.
I think we got this one right.
You're so gristle.
That baby's name is Scruffy.
Yeah.
Yeah, so the dad, like, he'd just stop feeding the kid
chicken wing dip.
He'd just kid, just try to shit an Idaho potato.
It's kind of electric in a diaper over here.
Our baby doesn't like hot sauce on its oblux.
What are you doing?
Little red hot for baby.
Oh, it's just colic.
The baby's got a colicky asshole.
You're fucking colicky asshole.
That's gross.
Just give the kid a weed gummy and put it to sleep.
I don't want it.
You're screaming all night. All right. So the doctor, they go for a doctor's visit and turns out the dad is the bad guy.
He's the equivalent of a prison snitch because he's telling the doctor what the mom is up to.
Is it wrong that my wife treats the baby like a garbage disposal doctor? I'm just curious.
We already throw the best potatoes out.
Look at all that.
How much scraps is too much?
Nobody call my mom an asker.
Well, baby had a doctor's appointment and my wife was talking about the colic and screaming
fits and when the doctor asked what she was feeding her, she said, only formula, nothing
else.
Liar.
I was angry because she lied and told her, the pediatrician,
every single thing that she has been giving her.
And the doctor strongly recommended her to stop
and that she was causing stomach upset
and more than likely the reason for all her stomach issues.
Instead of being apologetic for this,
my wife is mad at me and told me I
ratted her out to the doctor
and that she doesn't have to listen to her
and that it's only a recommendation and that I made her look like a bad parent.
Okay, so I'm going to answer the am I an asshole thing now, not that I've heard a little more
information. If you go to a professional whatever, a doctor, a psychiatrist, whatever,
if you're not truthful with them, you're wasting everyone's time. It's like, just don't go with
that. If you're just going to lie to them, the fuck's the point?
Yeah. I think the dad knows that.
Yes.
When Vinny's got something.
Well, no, I'm just saying, like, I've listened to this, I'm going,
man, that fucking Reddit post is gonna be read at a court someday.
Yeah, I know.
I'm telling you, I know.
Shit.
But the dad's not making her look like a bad parent.
She's making her look like a bad parent.
Good point, yes.
Your fucking kid's backed up like a hard drive
because it's eating steak and eggs for breakfast every day
and you won't listen to your fucking doctor.
All right, this is clip six.
All right, the ultimate betrayal leads to the dad
getting kicked out of the house because
for taking medical healthcare advice for his child.
I tell her what a selfish little twat she was being,
and now she wants me to go stay with my parents
until she forgives me and asks me to come home.
Am I the asshole here?
I maybe I shouldn't have flew mad at her
and said some of the things I did.
Maybe I should apologize to my wife.
Hmm.
Oh my gosh, this is really hard,
but my gut instinct here is like,
no, don't do it,
don't give the baby all these foods.
Food before one is mostly for fun.
Does that work with twat?
Good work, thanks bro.
I forgot about that word.
Get the jelly, twat! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They have this woman to Amy on because she's a physician's assistant and she's not giving any kind of practical advice.
Not any advice that anybody doesn't already know.
So obviously we have to go back to Reddit
to get, because all the really rest of the show is
just reading what Reddit said about this guy's post.
It really is subreddit.
Yeah.
It's time.
Fuck off.
I like this.
Do you realize how insane this shit is
that someone posted this on the internet?
This is fascinating stuff.
So shut up, Carl.
It gets crazier, though.
Another commenter goes,
this is a dangerous psychological
molady called Munchausen by proxy proxy where mothers cause medical problems for their children
They often kill the children and definitely torture them
Oh, geez and so a lot of like reddit like if you don't read a lot like reddit is like very quick to be like
Okay, ABC DD like yeah, like they yeah, they always like jump people jump taking questions
Yeah, I was about to agree with her that She just said the dumbest thing I've ever heard
in my life.
You know the problem with Reddit,
they're always doing the alphabet over there.
That's a problem.
What did you expect from Reddit,
except for some jerk off to go,
well, your kid's as good as dead.
That's the place you're gonna get if you go on Reddit.
And just Morgan is, I gotta-
Was the baby vexed?
Vexed.
I gotta point out that Morgan is a complete fucking idiot
because she's meant to say malady. And she said, malady. Malady, I wonder what the baby vexie vaccinated. I gotta point out that Morgan is a complete fucking idiot because she's meant to say
Malady and she said Malady
Thank you
All right, so they go to onto a second story and this one
We have you know, you have to remember that this is
Too hot takes so we have to have another story so let's hear clip eight. Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my niece?
Well, you would be
So long story short I 29 female was engaged to my sister's now husband a
Month before the wedding. I walked in on my sister, 33 female, Lily and Mike,
33 male, having sex on my bed. No. So was it the on her bed thing that really pissed
them off? Yeah. The sex part because I think you can add doesn't matter where it's on.
Right. At that point, someone's fucking your sister. They put down a tarp or something.
Yeah. That's okay. Right. Yeah. put down a tarp or something? Yeah, right, that's okay.
Right, yeah.
Well, now it's getting interesting.
What position were they in?
Now it's not am I an asshole, it's was an inner asshole.
So this sister of the person who wrote this
is two months pregnant with a baby, so this becomes-
No, why don't you just not desire a parent?
This is where the parent-
Am I right? High five! High five! Hot take! There's the hot take, ladies and gentlemen. two months pregnant with a baby so this is where the pair.
Hot take ladies and gentlemen.
Finally got one.
Well, curtean, if I get your sister, she's not pregnant.
Yeah.
So clip nine, this is where the baby touches my penis.
It gets a little days of our lives as a baby gets introduced.
After doing some digging, I found out that they had been having an affair for six months and that my sister was two months pregnant with his baby.
No. Most of our family had cut out Lily but after her daughter Emily was born she
was accepted back into the family. This is mostly because Emily was the first
grandchild, first great- grandchild and first niece.
Well, and of course not the baby's fault.
Not the baby's fault.
Lily and Mike also got married not long after Emily.
Six was born.
Even though Lily has been accepted back into the family, I don't speak to her or Mike or
Emily.
I want nothing to do with them.
You're garbage, human garbage.
Okay.
So this woman's ex has a baby with her sister
and it's the only child in the family.
So everybody's enamored with Emily, the newborn baby.
I see.
Now, six years later, this becomes everybody's,
Emily is everyone's problem now, including the author.
I mean, there's no name for the woman,
but whoever wrote this in clip 10.
My parents usually babysit Emily for my sister
when she works or when she runs errands.
Lily loves to drop off Emily unannounced.
Last week, she apparently had an emergency at work
and came to drop off Emily, but our parents weren't home.
They had gone out with some friends and would not be back until the next day. When I told her
this she begged and asked if I could just watch Emily since I wasn't working
that day. I flat out told her no. She kept bugging saying it's just for a few
hours and that she was my niece. I told her again no. She then said okay and I just walked away. A few minutes later I heard her car pull no. She then said, okay, and I just walked away.
A few minutes later, I heard her car pull off
and the doorbell rang.
When I opened the door, I saw Emily, my niece,
standing there.
When I asked her about her mom, she said,
mommy said you will look after me.
Wow!
That's mom, that's the greatest. That's a good prank.
And there was a flaming bag of dog poo.
So I stepped on both of them.
Boy, are my boots dirty.
Well, it's great parenting. I'm going to leave my kid with a person that hates me the most.
Right.
What? I mean, I don't know what she was thinking with that.
You ever been around a six-year-old?
Yeah, well... Maybe he shall drown her. I don't know what she was thinking with that you ever been around a six-year-old
Maybe she'll drown her
50 chance here. What's a mom to do if she's late for a shift at the waffle house? She's right. She's got a big I say she gets revenge. I say she waits for to get home just to find them fucking out her bed
Oh, I'm sorry this is wrong show
Oh, I'm sorry this is wrong show. Sorry
Wrong show sorry
Show you alright, so clip 11 the fallout to the author of this is ha isn't having it and
This leads the whole family to turn on her I brought her inside and called Lily and told her that if she didn't come back for her child
I would be calling the police and telling them that someone abandoned their child at my doorstep.
Good for her.
After some back and forth, she came back and picked Emily up.
The next day when my parents came home, they were furious at me for what I did.
They went off on how I should have already gotten over my hate for Lily and
her family already and grow up and about how I almost
cost Lily her job. I tried telling them that I've gotten over it, but I simply don't want
anything to do with Lily and her family. They kept going on and on until I just walked away.
I've been getting calls and messages from Lily's friends, calling me an asshole, and
some other names.
Yeah, Dave.
Don't cook called and told me I was a twat. Don't get the police involved.
Your stupid family matters. Right. Watch the kid for a couple hours and then do what you
got to do. But calling the cops is the same as like a copyright strike. It's such bullshit.
I think like if that kid's old enough to talk and say, Hey, you're supposed to watch me,
you can probably tell that kid some great stories about the mom. Oh, that's exactly. That's fun. Right, that's what you should write on the mom. Teach them some new words.
Yeah.
Come on in.
Horror.
You want a beer?
Your mom is a horror.
Can you say sloths?
Do you want to hear your origin story, Emily?
Yeah, right.
Let's listen to the song, Love Child, shall we?
This is fun.
What next time you see your dad,
could you use the word premature ejaculation?
Have you seen him? It's practice. What next time you see your dad could you use the word premature ejaculation?
It's practice so this show isn't only about reading word-for-word from Reddit It's not it's also about expert analysis. Oh good. Okay, so these last three clips
We're gonna get into the the sound advice from Morgan and Amy. It was her sister her sister her sister
her sister? Her sister. Her sister. Her sister.
Cheated.
You stupid fucking bubblemouth cut.
So I didn't have a plural version.
Next time.
We'll just run right through these 13 more hot takes.
Dang.
Like what?
Okay, and one more.
I don't think I'd be babysitting. No, it won't pay me. No, it won't pay me. What? Okay, and one more.
I don't think I'd be babysitting.
No, it wouldn't be me.
No, it wouldn't be me.
Yeah, great stuff, please.
Right, just please read more Reddit.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Two Hot Takes, everybody.
Two Hot Takes, a show about parenting where only one of the episodes was about parent,
or one of the times was about parenting.
Coming in from ADQ public.
Abandoning your kids is a type of parenting.
Okay.
You're getting closer and closer to the assignment.
That's really cool.
At least it was a podcast.
Yeah, right.
You're doing good, man.
Vinny, since you're our guest today on this midweek show,
we usually have Lucy tight box on the show.
You're filling in.
I'm gonna give you the choice.
Do you wanna go next?
Do you wanna go last?
I'm good to go, bro. I'm good to go. Ready to go next? You want to go last? I'm good to go, bro I'm ready to go next absolutely
So all right the way I picked my show folks and I picked this late in the day
I listened to a lot of parenting podcasts in the last 24 hours
Andy is correct. They are all awful. I was trying to find salacious topics trying to find something that might be interesting
I found a Christian podcast them yelling about secular music and teenagers,
and it was the biggest douchebag boring stuff out there.
This is a terrible category.
It's like the bad category.
And I finally selected my show today, No Guilt Mom,
because it just annoyed the ever loving shit on me
when I had it on for the first five minutes.
So, No Guilt mom folks is a parenting podcast hosted by author teacher and parenting coach Joanne Cron
MED and co-host parenting coach and educator Bre Tucker now
They say in their description, they will give you practical advice by moms in positive parenting tips all without the guilt in the shame
What the fuck does that mean? What are you ashamed of?
Are your kids losers? What are you ashamed of? I didn't understand this so I asked my wife and
apparently this is a thing with women. They have like a guilt. Moms are guilty apparently. I did
not know this. Here's their description of their show. Tell me if you think this sounds like what
women need advice on with their parenting. What happens when life gets in the way of your creativity
instead of nourishing it?
That's what happened to Molly and me.
We felt like the thing that drove us creatively,
stopped working and impending doom had in fact impended.
Totally.
So we decided to do something about it.
And that was,
steal ideas about getting unstuck
from the most creative people we can find.
We talked to guests about how to break through the mucky, gluey, sticky wall that can get
between you and your creativity.
We hear about their journeys, their successes, their challenges, and even their bougie coffee
shop orders.
Fascinating!
But can I...
The sticky...
How they get unstuck from the placenta of motherhood is what they're talking about.
They basically their kids dragged them down and they shouldn't feel guilty about acknowledging
that their kids dragged them down.
And what kind of arts and crafts were they into before this?
They were just like, oh my gosh, I was so creative.
And now I had this fucking kid like an apparent cheese.
I know every night this one was going, I could have bet a star.
Yeah, right.
I could have bet a contenda I could have bet a contender
Fucking they suck so here the episode that they had on they had a get that I listened to they had a guest on
Her name was Gwena Leifland from Mama cusses now
She wrote a book and they go ahead and they say that in the description
she's bringing the realness and the humor and
description. She's bringing the realness and the humor and sharing all things pragmatic parenting. So, Carl, they call their shot in my clip too. But we were
laughing so hard before we even started the interview. We're like, we're just
gonna hit record. Let's just hit record and you can hear this banter back and
forth. Yeah, well, I mean, we were really relating on the whole having teens. Yeah,
that's right, Carl. They claim they have some high quality banter.
I doubt it.
I honestly, I only know of one place
where you can find that.
Well, that is.
Ban ban ban ban banter world order, BWO.
W-A-T-S Thursdays at 6 p.m.
You don't think that these mothers of teenagers
are gonna have some interesting banter
for everybody on their show car
Why do you call this clip bantering bitches?
Yeah, sounds like me couple BB's now
Let's I'll have them see if they can prove me wrong that this isn't quality banter
Let's go with them on this clip. I call Oreo riffing
We were talking about how much we loved your best of 2023
Tiktok and the the use of teenage slang.
And like her pulling out the Oreo, the double stuff Oreo,
she's like, Oreo, dupe?
If you're like, that's a real Oreo.
What the, what the, what's a dupe then?
I thought a dupe was a fake.
We have real Oreo money in this house now, Kade.
Wait, there's no hygrocks.
No, okay.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So when I was done punching my computer, I realized this was the show I should clip.
Wow.
Let's continue on with this awesome stuff.
Did you guys know that millennials just don't get it, that when these women were young teenagers,
they knew what was going on and they were way cooler than this clip for?
The whole like
Millennial term of us trying to use their slang like I don't know
I just feel like we had way cooler saying but that's just me we had cooler slang and we weren't such
Pains in the butt start parents sometimes. Yeah, these kids are wiggity wiggity wack
Tubular at all. These kids are bogus.
Fucking bogus, man.
I learned that one in a while.
So I just want to say this woman,
she has a strategy on how to deal with their kids
when they give them grief for trying
to use cool slang these days.
And I gotta tell you, this is great advice, folks.
My opinion is that they just make it up on the fly.
My husband and I don't even try anymore.
We will intentionally use all the slang we possibly can.
Wrong.
Just to piss them off.
Just to make, and it's only my daughter that cares.
My son doesn't even answer ever.
He just stares.
You just get to stare.
This is terrible parenting advice right here.
You don't say.
I just try to turn my kids off to my personality in all times
Yes, great. That's gonna go really well in the long run. I want I want them to feel like I don't understand them
And I make you fun of their culture
Yeah, I want to make sure that they know that I'm about approach. I also like to embarrass them in public
Oh, yeah, that's also a lot of fun to do. That's great. They love it. They love it. I drop off at school
I walk him to home room now guys
Guys great advice trigger warning on clip six my son used my placenta as his personal punching bag
So I was
Pregnancy and then my daughter I swear to God she had fingernails and she was scratching her way out
I'll wake up screaming every night till I die.
Fuck you for saying that.
The baby had fingernails
who was trying to claw its way out of you.
Ugh.
What the fuck am I listening to?
Go back to talking about how your cool moms
and how things were better in your day.
I don't want to hear about the grossest
of your pregnancy, lady.
Fucking disgusting.
So what advice do they give on how to approach paratint?
I'm just picturing the doctor trying to pull the baby out
and like, oh, fuck going!
Fucking Freddy's.
He's a fighter.
He's a fighter.
He's a fighter.
I know it's not the way babies come out,
but he's still with me on this one.
He's using it in your breakfast.
He's got a rod and reel.
He's got a rod and reel. He's got a rod and reel. He's got a run real. Oh,
he's stuck in there. Good honey. Hold on. That's how that
baby's head came off in that one case. Rick C137 says someone
should use her face as a punching bag. Yes. I don't even have a
picture of her, but oh, she is the worst. So what advice do
they give and how to approach parenting?
Let me ask you guys, does this sound like a healthy outlook
on what your relationship with your children is?
They're cool little people too.
They have these little thoughts and stuff
that are really interesting from like human behavior.
That's what I always look.
They're little science projects every time.
I'm looking at them at my little psychology projects.
And so that's how I keep myself entertained
when I'm bored to death.
Oh boy. What?
That's not the right approach to this at all.
What?
And if I fuck a few of them up, whatever, it's an experiment.
Whatever, whatever, whatever.
Right, you win, some you lose, some with the kids.
Yeah, I'll make some more.
The point is that we try new things.
Guys, I created a serial killer, but I wrote a lot of notes down.
I think I know what did it. I think it was trying to use their slang and being sarcastic about it.
No, Carl, so far we've heard the advice of these women is,
treat your kids like they're science projects.
And then alienate them and bother them and antagonize them.
Don't connect with them on any level.
Correct.
What a good show this is.
This is phenomenal.
So I hate it when parents project one fluke incident
that their kid did into a future career.
I know.
Oh, he mistakenly kicked a ball into a goal.
Oh, he's the next paylay.
Paylay!
Shut up.
Oh, did that happen to you?
Yeah, everybody thought that I was gonna be something
and I became this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha going to drive a truck. Well. Well. You will. You will. You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. This is this is how the show gets hijacked by the storm to tell an amazing story about her nephew.
You do not have a clip called that. What number are you talking about?
I called it that clip eight.
It's called Big Story 8 for short.
Because another thing he did at the table, we were all at Zinburger.
They have a location in Tucson, which is the most awesome place.
Right. He's sitting across from me.
He's like, OK, Auntie Joe, oh, he holds his hand up in front of me.
And he's like, open the need.
And I'm like, okay.
And I pull up in his thumb and he's, okay, put your finger inside.
I'm a finger inside.
Turn it around.
I'm like, okay, I turn it around.
Take it out.
I took my finger out from his hand.
And then he looks at me.
He's like, thanks for cleaning my toilet.
Oh my God. Gotcha, bitch. We all bust out left. finger out from his hand and then he looks at me he's like thanks for cleaning my toilet oh my god this is the high quality stories you're gonna get
on the show toddlers are hysterical they the craziest things they come out of
their mouths now that's a poop in his hand they were doing that bit when I was that age. That's the oldest joke in the book.
Kids a hack. These people?
Kids a hack.
Kids sounds like a loser.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, easy there.
He's under the assault.
You just committed assault.
Allegedly a loser.
I didn't fuck with your money, Carl.
All right, hold on.
They're bad at selling stuff too. They have, hold on.
They're bad at selling stuff too.
They have this guest out.
Listen to this teaser.
They have a little break, but they give a teaser about what they're going to talk about in
the book.
And this is my clip nine.
This is a weird takeaway.
No, it's so funny though when we think about it that way.
We're like, wow, we want them to define us.
And then you realize that, okay, I need to teach this little person how to people and something I really enjoyed in your book
It's all of the little nicknames that you give to your kids and what you call them and we're gonna get into it right after this break
Okay, so the book is how to raise your children's like the thing that I liked is the nicknames you gave your kids
What the fuck we have to teach them how to people yeah What would you for do you say to that yeah? We have to teach them how to people. Yeah. What would
you for? He said that. Yeah. Right. Teach them how to people. Everything's a verb. I
hate adulting. Why am I being forced to people today? Shut the fuck up. Well put. So, Carl,
I'm one of the nicknames. Oh, I'm going to tell you right now. I'm not going to leave
you hanging. I'm not going to leave you leave you hanging clip Ted one of like my first introduction is gonna to your the nicknames and everything that you give people is what you call babies
Your pet names
womb fruit chaos goblin my sex trophy
That one was very funny
In the minute I call a child a sex trophy,
I get two things that happen.
First of all, most people are like,
oh my god, they are sex, I had sex, I got a trophy.
What the hell is he supposed to be?
Well, that's the literal, the Stuttering John reasoning.
I was about to point out, I was about to say,
the only other person I've ever heard connected
these two things as this woman in Stuttering John.
What a great cell for your fucking- They didn't great self for your kids. He's got no kids.
Where's your trophy?
What about life ruiner?
Vagina ruiner?
I mean,
what about six months too late?
No, I'm going to tell you how you can understand a good book.
Okay, this is a great pitch from the author. This
is going to tell you exactly the level that we're working with here.
Right now, if you pre-order the book, you can provide your proof of receipt, your proof
of purchase to a different link and we'll send you a free sheet of Mama Cus' stickers.
You know, we love a good sticker over here at No Guilt Mom. We have all the stickers
here and yes, go get a pre-order of the book and so you can get the stickers as well.
Well, and these are the good kind. I made them give me the, I would have had more stickers, but I made them give me the good kind that you can put on your water bottle and they will stay through the dishwasher cycle.
Oh!
Those are important.
Those are important.
Those are those plasticky vinyl ones that'll stay.
Yeah, you gotta have them. They'll just go away. Yeah, and it's no good
plasticky vinyl um, I
Was what when you first started playing that clip my thought was what are these idiots putting stickers on?
I should have known water bottles. Oh, yeah, these fucking women walk around water bottles
They probably have 80 of them in their fucking house. I just picture their kids covered in stickers
Funnier fuck it. All right Carl. I'll sticker over your twats. You can't have any more kids.
Now, toward the
Vital Plasticy kind? Yes.
I could dissect these women all day.
This show just sucks. I know we got a lot to get to.
But this is how they sell the book again at the end, Carl.
Go pre-order Gwinnis Book.
Well, plus if you're part of our No-Gilt Mom community,
you probably love stickers.
And you get the stickers too. Yeah. You can't miss out on stickers. This is the best sales job. I've heard since I'm a comb salesman
So the book is about how to raise your kids. We're not gonna talk about any of the tips
We're gonna talk about dumb stupid nicknames and then instead of talking about the content of the book
We're telling you get stickers stickers like oh these women suck now
Guys stickers suck too guys
I have one more clip okay because I'm always fair when I do these reviews mm-hmm
They made me laugh once. Oh here. They made me laugh once I
I tried to do a thing that should have been simple
so we have a breakfast bar in my kitchen and I tried to hop up and sit on it except its breakfast bar
height and 17 18 year old me definitely would have had the core and arms
strength to pop up and sit on it instead I bruised the lower part of my bag just
sort of like throwing it into the countertop I left that was all I could
think of was like when your fat cat thinks it can still jump up on the counter
and just misses and falls at the funniest thing ever.
And that's what this woman has become.
Yeah, good.
She's trying to jump on the thing and be cool.
Hey, hello fellow kids.
Ah!
I had a fun time picturing that.
So, uh, no guilt mom sucks in case anybody was wondering.
All right.
I don't recommend it.
Excellent presentation.
Vinny, it is time for me to present the podcast that I brought you today.
And I believe the intro gives us all a very good sense of the type of show we'll be
listening to the the energy that we're dealing with in a show called Hook, Line and Smiley.
Oh.
in a show called Hook, Line and Smiling.
Right on time.
Thursday morning, 7 a.m. boom.
It is hitting your phone or your computer or wherever you get your podcast unless, of
course, there's something wrong with your phone or computer.
But that's the only reason this podcast is not being listened to Thursday morning at
7 a.m.
Because we are on it aren't we babe? Oh, yeah, absolutely on it. This is Bob and Sarah Smiley
They are a married couple and they do a really fun show.
You're a very fun child. I don't I have no business making fun of a man's voice, but I did not know that was a guy
That's a guy. Okay. Okay. We're going to learn a lot about Bob. That was guy smiley.
We're going to learn a lot about Bob. Bob smiley.
Correct.
Now, before we learn about Bob, let's learn a little bit more about Sarah. Bob says something
here that I'm trying to figure out what he's getting at. I am a mother of five boys. I am a teacher
as well. At the moment, a mother of five boys. I am a teacher as well moment
And mother of five boys. We'll see and no, we won't see where it stops that number better go down
No, I'll always be a mother, but yeah, you know responsibility better go by the wayside
So she goes that number better go down Does she want like some of the boys to transition or she want them to die? No, I think you want she wants to disappear
some of the boys to transition or she want them to die. No, I think he wants to disappear.
So.
OK, yeah, because because that seemed very odd.
Like I have five boys.
Hopefully someday it'll be three with two dogs.
He'll somehow go away or that.
Yes, I was so confused because I started playing the clip.
I thought that was the guy talking.
Well, I know.
I don't know.
I mean, you're kids stuff.
I was like, I was just going to bring queer kids.
I did it this time.
I did it this time. I did it this time.
But I did bring poor people.
So this guy, Bob, is telling the story about how he was
at the airport and his flight was delayed
and he was stuck at the airport.
But one of the things that I mentioned on the Instagram
Live was that I was dying of thirst.
And it dawned on me that you have to buy water in an airport,
which is, let's just round it around $6,
even though it was $5.58.
And I wasn't gonna do that.
And then I said this as a joke,
thankfully somebody left a half drink water bottle
in the bathroom.
I said as a joke, but I did go into the bathroom
and there was a bottle that was half full
and I was like, oh, that's liquid gold, my friend.
That is liquid gold. I did. Gold colored, but I was so thirsty and I didn't want to spend $6 on
a bottle of water. And so we talked about that. I'm with Segura. These pores are disgusting.
I know. I'm with. Team Segura. Could you imagine this guy stuck in an airport? He hasn't drank
water all day.
He's thirsty AF and he's like, yeah, but six bucks.
That's a bridge to fire.
Five fifty eight.
Hey, fuck that.
There's water fountains in airports.
You're going to drink somebody's water bottle in the bathroom.
Yeah, that they accidentally dropped in a toilet.
All right.
So let's forget about the fucking lap water out of the dude.
They have five boys. They're poor.
It happens. These things happen in America.
What I like about these two is because they're married,
they've been together a long time.
They have great chemistry.
That's what I look for out of a podcast is chemistry,
which brings us to our topic.
It does, which brings us to our topic.
No, I just said that.
Yeah. But I'm going to edit it where it sounds like I thought of that segue you turkey
But oh language and I'm gonna take out the word bucket
And edit something else and I wouldn't do that. Yeah, how so give me the line again
Pretty good stuff, huh? Let's get ready to our topic. Yeah, we fucked that up
Okay, cool, and he also never added it great job dude
all right good stuff job Bob smiley what are we talking about today we're
talking about motherhood and thankfully Bob smiley decided to look up some
famous mothers of the past Teresa sure Mary yeah, yeah dancing song cabrini
Yeah, all good answers guess what's a bad answer is this one you were asking me last night about like if I knew any
Stories of famous mothers and stuff, and I just got to think it I really don't and so I looked up some
Do you want to read one? No, I would love for to hear you read it
Here's one I didn't know about and I thought it was really cool in 1826 sojourner truth she was born in 1797 and lived to 1883 so sojourner truth and her baby daughter escaped slavery in
Ulster County New York soon after her escape she heard that her five-year-old
son Peter was illegally sold to a man in Alabama.
Truth, this mom, raised money for a lawyer, filed a complaint in court.
Now keep this as 1826, okay?
Filed a complaint in court and successfully got her son, Peter, out of slavery, which
was a landmark case in which a black woman successfully sued a white man in court.
Good stuff. I can't believe none of you guys guess that one.
You didn't think that was going to be the famous mother?
I should have. It is black history.
One. I didn't want to be too obvious.
Yeah. So, yeah, I love that's where we start with slavery.
He's like, well, when I think of motherhood, I think of the slave trade.
I think of all of the women.
Thomas Jefferson. All right. think of all of the women. Thomas Jefferson.
All right.
So he's got multiple stories.
So the first one was a slave who got her son out of slavery.
OK, cool.
What's the next one going to be?
It's got to be pretty fucking heavy, I would imagine.
I guess everybody knows the story,
but J.K. Rowling wrote the first four Harry Potter books
as a single mother, one briefly receiving state benefits to get by.
And she now serves as president of Gingerbread,
which is an organization that works with single parents
and their children to find resources and programs
to help them succeed.
We went from slavery to a billionaire writer
who created Harry Potter.
What the fuck is going on?
Who is this for?
Who is in here going,
these are the two stories I wanted to hear about today.
They're one and the same.
Very helpful.
I really appreciate you bringing that to us, Bob.
Good stuff.
So apparently, JK Rowling on Mother's Day in the UK
put out a tweet and she is a writer.
Her famous tweet.
She is a writer.
Reds, people are the devil.
Now she never get her an op on her. What did that evil woman put out with her witchcraft? Her famous tweets. She is a reds people are the devil
What did that evil woman put out?
Yes, her witchcraft. What did she put out? Let's find out because again very creative. She's a writer
What'd she come up with she tweeted today's Mother's Day in
UK if your mom isn't here to treat do something nice for yourself because she's part of you, so take a hug too.
Aw, that's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
Really good, and so there are people
that are spending Mother's Day
and they don't have their moms with them.
That's a great idea of, well then treat yourself
because your mom obviously like, you know,
did a great job because you're you.
Yeah.
Mm, that's a horrible tweet.
The fuck, hey it's Mother's Day, if your mom's's dad why don't you treat yourself to a Sunday? Yeah hug yourself cry, baby
So wait a fucking time so you guys are probably wondering what the fuck is Bob Smiley doing for a living
What is this guy up to actually I'm wondering that'm wondering that. Okay, so this is a written to me. Substitute teacher.
Did I guess anyway?
My name is Bob Smiley, former comedian at present.
The junior high PE gym teacher.
Could you imagine former comedian?
I'm not a junior high gym teacher.
Oh, God, nobody wants that guy's fucking class.
Can we just play volleyball already? Mr. Smiley
Stop trying out your tight fight
If there's anything I hate more than a comedian it's an open Mike failed comedian
Oh, it's it's gonna get worse before it gets better everybody. So
strap in because Bob Smiley was a substitute
physical education teacher.
And boy did he pick a good day to do that.
You reminded me though, sorry, it is teacher appreciation.
And since I was subbing today,
I walked into the teacher's lounge.
And I know I've already told you the story,
but I'll share with the Smilers.
They had little mini blizzards all lined up on these tables.
Their listeners are called Smilers.
Oh.
You know, the way you sold us, I thought he was going to say,
I went in there and we were giving the kids the Scoliosis test.
I thought it was going to be something really creepy.
No, no, no.
Teacher appreciation day.
And there were blizzards waiting for them.
That's a treat.
That's a fun treat.
He ate one of them. That's stolen valor. He took all the leftovers home because he's a broke ass.
And I was like you sub one day and you get a blizzard. I was like this is stop it.
This is the best school ever. That is not fair, but there was nobody in there.
So I go over in the corner and I'm unpacking my lunch that you had made me.
No, no.
No.
Yeah.
I didn't know that you didn't make it.
I opened up the lunch box and it was empty.
I make sandwiches.
I make pot roast.
I do not make lunch.
A day cute couple.
By the way, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea.
Have a point.
It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.
Listening to her reaction
That makes me think Andy was right. She's like you got a blizzard. We'd have to save for weeks. Yeah
Kids are eating cardboard sandwiches. I brought some home
Back with a ziplock bag for melted ice cream. He's just got butterfinger topping in a bag
throws it in the freezer who wants sprinkles for dinner the fucking it out the fucking dinner table he's like here we go kids
Bob's done it again kids
Merry Christmas
so they talk about having poo moments and woo moments
woo is positive poo is negative
this is a poo moment
yeah it's a real poo moment
Bob Swiley had a woo moment when he was substitute teaching.
Vinny, you're not going to believe this.
One of the students, a junior high student recognized him
and went, hey, you're that comedian.
Oh, fucking way.
Look at that.
Boom.
It didn't happen.
But I get up there today in third period this big group of girls come in and
One of them runs over to me and he's like oh my goodness. You're you're you're a comedian you're
Smiley, I can't remember first name smiley and I was like yeah, yeah Bob smiley and she goes oh my goodness
I saw you at my church and you were so good. What what happened?
at my church and you were so good. What happened?
That was a question.
That's right.
He's a church comedian.
I'm surprised you didn't know about this guy, Vinny.
So good news, everyone, because he was recognized.
All the students, just like in the Southern Johns class,
start going on their phones and looking up like,
oh my gosh, you're a comedian.
Let's see what you got going on.
And so then they're like, you got to do this bit.
I did actually do some stand up.
Oh my God.
The girl that asked what happened.
She was telling everybody.
So they were starting to look up my videos on their phones.
And one of them was like, is this your bit?
Can you do this bit about the ceiling fan?
And I was like, OK.
So I ended up doing that ceiling fan bit for the kids.
So focused.
Back on your story.
Which is not on the lesson plans.
Ceiling fan, the only words I know
of the ceiling fan bit is Chen Zuma.
Let me tell you.
Chen's ceiling ceiling fan bit.
I know what's happening here.
What's happening here?
Okay, these kids are geniuses.
I'll tell you exactly what I would have done.
If I was in gym class and I found out
that the teacher used to be a comedian,
instead of running laps, tell us some jokes.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, listen.
It's square dancing day.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
You do that bit.
Yeah.
These kids are smart.
This guy's an idiot.
Now, Minnie, when you think about hack material,
then a hack comedian might be.
Yeah, ceiling fans.
Well, ceiling fans is a good one.
OK.
But I think you're going to enjoy this one even more because Sarah
starts talking about her mother, which would be his mother-in-law. Come on. Your mom is so good one. Okay. But I think you're going to enjoy this one even more because Sarah starts talking about her mother, which would be his mother-in-law. Come on. Your mom is
so good that you know how comedians always make fun of their mother-in-laws. And I used
to have no problem writing. I had problem not making my whole show about that because
there's a lot of animosity and stuff. But man, I met your mom and I was like, she's
just sweet and caring. And when she messes up, she says she messes up.
And if somebody messes up around her, she forgives them.
And just a solid, solid person.
She's a stinker.
She's a stinker.
Oh, she's absolutely a stinker.
But it makes you feel OK with being a stinker a little bit,
right?
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
It's to the point where it's surrounded by love.
Something she's a total asshole. Yeah. That just sounds like to me. He's like, I used to do a lot of's surrounded by love. Sounds like she's a total asshole.
Yeah.
That just sounds like to me.
He's like, I used to do a lot of material on your mind.
She's like, I know, she's not great.
I get it.
All right.
I told the kids about when I was at St. Anne's Episcopal
and I did the bid about how he wanted me to be the third
apostle and not the 11th apostle.
It killed.
It was so good.
I want to throw something at you.
I know what you're thinking right now, Mr. Paulino.
Does this guy have any of his material on the internet?
And good news, speaking of Chad Zumak,
and we talked about Ray DeVito already today, too.
He has a drybar special.
No.
And his drybar special, he's got a 30 minute clip
out that's called the longest dad joke
He's always like Bob come stand next to me, so we look like the number 10
But I love my dad that's why I got my sense of humor my dad and I kind of have the same sense of humor
Which is weird because we don't look alike at all my dad weighs 280 pounds. He's 5 7
Yeah, and he's always been big.
I asked my grandmother, I was like, was he ever skinny like me when he was young? And
she was like, no! He was born on a thirsty end of Friday. And I'm not making fun of
him because he loves being big. He loves it. always like Bob come stand next to me, so he looked like the number 10
But he is he's just so clever and funny I'm so fortunate to grow up like that my trying to think of some examples
Oh
Ashley that is a good example since I didn't look like him my
Second junior year in high school. I went to him
like him, my second junior year in high school, I went to him. Are you guys judging me?
This is a clean comedy play.
This is supposed to be a lot of Christians here, you know?
Act like a Christian.
Judge me silently in your mind.
You suck! I wasn't good at school and I'm not gonna make excuses.
I just, I honestly, I am a Christian and I really am a Christian.
I'm not just saying that so Hollywood will love and embrace me.
I love torturing, Biddy.
This is one of my favorite things to do.
Biddy, I'm here too.
I have such a fucking hatred for dry bar.
You don't even understand.
Well, I do understand, because I watched a lot of this today.
And I want to skip forward to his bit
about disappointing children.
This is all about parenting today.
Vinny, you thought you were going to get off easy today,
didn't you?
Nope.
Churches.
And you have to really watch.
Like, you can't talk about, like, discipline is a hot topic.
You can't talk. How do you discipline hot topic. You can't talk about it
How do you discipline your kids here?
You don't have to show me
Somebody spanking a kid right now
So one person spanks their kid the rest of you what just stare at them?
That means don't do drugs
See it's a hot topic.
Nobody wants to talk about it.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm raising, I've got five tax seductions, all boys.
And I do.
And I don't want to offend you guys, but it's a big debate.
I spank my kids when they're bad.
I do it out of love.
I do.
And I studied it.
I got the James Dobson Strongwilled Child Book.
Yeah, that helped me so much because it was thick enough that when I spanked them
Pretty good stuff, huh?
This video has 435,000 views. Yeah a lot of people at dry bar when you do dry bar
They fly you to Salt Lake City because it's the only place lame enough their people will laugh at these jokes
Hair he looks like he cut his hair with a ceiling fan.
They do. They packed the crowd with fucking Mormons at this thing.
And they all sit there and they laugh at fucking everything.
So I present to you
Hook, Lied and Smiley
featuring former comic now substitute PE coach
Bob Smiley with his wife Sarah.
Hook, Lied and Stinker.
And actually he is still performing comedy.
He says he doesn't do it anymore.
But I just think he's so bad at it
that he has to like get a second job.
Is my guess at this because.
How old is this video?
Well, this video is three years old.
OK.
But he talked about.
It's been a rough three years.
But he talked about that airport thing
was he went to do a gig.
And then he didn't have six bucks for a water.
So yeah.
Maybe they paid him later.
Probably should have took a couple from the stage there.
You know, right?
Busted out for holidays.
Are you going to finish that piece of shit?
All right, it is time for our bridge of the week.
Crazy. I think we just did it.
I know I actually have a bunch today.
And I follow.
It starts with our buddy Andy was
on Who Are These Broadcasters this past week. And I do want to make a quick announcement
for everybody. I'm gonna read this the way it was written for me. Join Eric Zane and
Christian Blatt Super Bowl Sunday on the Who Are These podcast YouTube channel for a special
Who Are These Broadcasters half time half show with some alternative content for
those of us who don't want to see usher they'll have some of the all time bad super bowl commercials
and halftime shows plus they'll be joined by Cardiff Electric and Lucy type box in the
Bahamas and a special video message from to key that's this Sunday February 11th during
the halftime at the Super Bowl tune tune in to the W. A. T.
P. YouTube channel to watch that. Well, they really do books of good guests over there.
Also, Christian just sent me some images. He just had dinner with Jackie Martling and
Liam Meccanini. They were out in LA and going out to dinner and stuff. So I asked him if
he brought up Senator John. I want to know what that covers. I'd love to like have a off the air conversation with Jackie
Marley. I think that'd be a lot of fun. But anyway, back to Andy and who are
these broadcasters? Andy tried to make a reference, bring up a joke, not
realizing that this was ill timed. And Eric Zane loved this so much, he
messaged me about it.
I was flying when this happens.
I caught it this morning.
I had it.
I lost my mind.
He's apologized for these,
but I read the apology for your money.
Oh, just real quick.
You wanna set this up?
Yeah, this is regarding the,
what was that congressman that pulled the fire alarm?
Oh, right, yes, yes, yes.
And it turns out he had a bunch of posts about,
it's like 9-11 conspiracy slam poetry.
Yes.
So it's written in like verse, which was bizarre.
And we're saying that it sounded like song lyrics.
Okay.
So that's the setup for that.
He's apologized for these,
but I've read the apology for you already.
Andy, this wouldn't warrant an episode of All Apologies,
but where are the crimes?
Have I already isolated what the true crime is here?
Yeah, I believe so.
I mean, it sounds like a country song
that you get to be written.
Was that Jerkoff that sings the red solo cup?
Sounds like he's right.
Oh yeah, yeah, well, by the way, Toby Keith gone too
soon. He died last night,
dickhead. He did? Yeah.
That's even better.
You just fucking...
Yeah. So, Andy, I'm going to go
ahead and pull this clip and send
it to you for inclusion on the
next episode of All Apologies.
He's been dead for like... I believe
that Toby
Keith has not been dead for 24 hours yet. It's 18 hours. I last met you asshole. I
love Eric. You recorded that song and then heard it back.
That is fantastic. You motherfucker. Andy Coby's all about time again
Genuinely did not know that he
Could have thrown her there. I guess he'll never smoke weed with Willie again Joe. Could you?
All right, so here's another cringe of the week We got a few this week and this one came in from the discord. It's a couple weeks old, but our buddy Ethan Ralph
We've you know people been bringing him up lately.
He's falling in hard times again.
He's having a tough go at it.
I don't know why.
I don't know why all his wives and families leave him.
I heard they repossessed his stomach.
Well, so apparently he's been begging Jim Medeker
to come on his show.
Like they had a rivalry for a long time.
And over the last year, he keeps saying, come on my show, come on, man.
So the guy finally shows up on his show and Ralph pushes out.
He's drunk by the way.
Yes.
Hello, how?
Hello. Hello. How? Hello hello, I mean it's a fake Jim, but what's up? Oh, I should point out so he said hell
Jim is called in to show us hell many times in the past so he knows but what's up?
Oh, I just want to see how you doing today there picket hits
I'm doing great man. Oh you won you want two hundred dollars. How many tortoise does that buy?
Baza a lot of tortoise actually
Now do you usually source your tortoise from the trash can to get your burgers from or do you go to a restaurant?
No, I used to go to the restaurant, but since you won't admit that your gym
I mean, there's no reason to let
you stay. So, um, but anybody who wants to come in under their real name and that's not
Jim by the way, that's Jim. That's obviously Jim. That's Jim. That's obviously Jim. That's Jim. That's Jim. Don't be Jim. Well, how would anybody think that's the real Jim? Like I'm serious. Let
me ask you this. Press one. If you thought that was the real Jim.
I mean, you got to get people to alternative though. He didn't ask the question correctly.
Absolutely. Nobody thought that. Press 1 if you didn't know what he thought. It's all 1s.
I can't. I can't. I already won. Like I don't care.
And he had every chance up until now to face me and now he picks now to try to face me
Okay, now he's realizing that was Jim and then he would oh god Ralph threw me out in
five seconds
So then Ralph goes to Twitter and he says Jim calls in unannounced
He's been ducking me for over a year. So I assumed it's fake anytime anywhere including tonight So then Ralph goes to Twitter and he says, Jim Culls in unannounced.
He's been ducking me for over a year.
So I assumed it's fake.
Anytime, anywhere, including tonight after I eat.
I know you're used to Korean slob, but that's not my style.
So very quickly after having a chance to talk to him
and hanging up on him immediately,
when everyone in the chat knew that's who that was,
and I'm sure either Ralph did too,
although he was pretty out of it.
Dude, he was fucking. He said, bomb, there he bomb. So now he's already got back to begging Jim DeKalb into the show again.
Speaking of embarrassing, Stevie Lou was on the rock bottom podcast. My buddy John Marlowe sent
this into me. So we have our boy Ray DeVito and Ray DeVito was going off on Erie Jane. Erie Jane went on the Backyard Boys podcast, BYB.
And for the first time, Broker Silence.
And told the story about how after Detroit,
you know, we did the WTP Live and Erie Jane was there
and Ray DeVito was there, we were all hanging out and stuff.
And apparently Ray, I think the story
that Airie told was Ray didn't want her doing other shows
and he was being very possessive of her,
which someone KB can do.
I have a story.
Oh please.
I have a story from that night.
Okay, yeah.
I thought she was a very nice person.
She was, yeah.
She's very sweet to me.
Her and I talked for quite a while.
We were standing outside
just in the smoking section chatting and chatting and
chatting and raced and they're looking very okay. Yeah. Wow.
Yeah, I did. Now that that's brought up. I'm kind of like
oh, I did hear about at the bar. We have the bar
afterwards. Ray just at one point just said, okay, we're
out of here. Just grabbed her took her back to the hotel. Yeah.
I remember. Yeah. Tuky talking about that. Yeah, that happened. I remember. So anyway, that're out of here. Just grabbed her, took her back to the hotel. Yeah. I remember Tukie talking about that.
Yeah, that happened.
I remember that.
So anyway, that's neither here nor there,
but Ray was just going off on Aerie Jane.
He's like lost his mind about all of this.
But Stevie Lou's on the show.
And Stevie Lou has back to back bombs
coming in right here.
Don't watch them eat.
That's a good time though, you know,
when you're having three.
He was there for like five hours.
I literally felt like I was in middle school hanging out with like,
is it true that you guys like had one of those like refrigerator cardboard boxes
and you made a fort out of it.
And then at one point a lot of scary stories.
I was hanging with A-list comedians all night, Stevie.
And I kind of went this joke.
Come on, man. Come on, man.
Oh, I actually, I like, again, this guy still got it. I was doing some riffing at the bar
with some, you know, comedians, whatever. We were talking about the Grammys and Killer Mike,
you know, how, you know, you got arrested and I'm like, ah, you know, battery Mike just doesn't have the same ring to it. You know like come on killer Mike
You kill somebody dude don't fucking just assault somebody
Well
Not every joke is good folks. Yeah, that segment just created refugees
That was pretty bad and raise like, I don't know
what's going on. I'm not even sure you're making me look
funny. Maybe it's not the best time. What are you doing
tomorrow? Maybe it's not the best time to bring it up. But
Stevie Lou is on What's Over with Kaylee this week. Oh, very
good. All right. What's over? Well, Lucy Typebox will be the funniest person on that show.
That's right. Check that out, everyone.
All right. Speaking of unfunny people,
I noticed that Christine Nolton has been posting a lot of videos
on her YouTube page the last couple of days. Who is that?
I don't know. So Christine Nolton, we learned about through who are these
socials because she was doing those dark side of the Zoom
shows with Tom Myers. She's the Chickalink. Chickalink.
Exactly. Oh, yeah. Just say the Chickalink. I already have to
send you Bob's smile. You sadistic friend. I know. I'm not a
nice person today. I apologize for that already. So Christine Nolton is posting these things on YouTube,
but I think we should check them out and see what she's up to.
This is her on another episode.
All right, next to the stage dark side of the zoom.
And I just want to point this out.
She's posting this on her channel.
Like she's pulling this out.
This is just from a day ago.
It's got two views.
They're both for me.
She's pulling this out. This is just from a day ago. It's got two views. They're both for me. She's pulling these
out. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Welcome to the stage, the one and the only Christine Nolten. Yeah. Hello, everyone.
It's so great to be back at the dark side of the Zoom.
I've got a couple of things that I'm trying out tonight.
Don't worry, I'm working out the kinks.
By the way, I just want to point out,
she looks a lot like Vinny Woodluck
if he grew his hair out and shaved his face.
So the reason why I'm pointing this out
is because the last thing she has is sex appeal.
But I think she hangs out.
I think where she hangs out everyone is so hard up that she's like the bell of the ball.
Yeah, because the way that she talks about herself you would think that like everyone's
sipping for this bitch. So let's watch this. Um laugh dammit. Okay.
to us. Um laugh dammit. But before I begin it's like I'm not gonna beat around the bush mostly because I don't have one. I do have to go over a few ground rules here for the
songs that I'm about to play so I just wanted to let you know that I am a squirter. In the female ejaculation way, not the IBS way.
God, that was a shitty joke.
Oh.
There you go.
There's one for your eye or...
Okay, so here we go.
You might recognize this tune in a second.
I'm a splooshy girl in a splooshy world.
Okay, I'm not going to make you get to that.
Why are you so angry at us?
Oh my God. What is wrong with you? I'm not going to make you sit through that. She
You sit through that guys I say we leave
Everyone happy new year
I cannot even see the death star behind She's out of breath saying those five words I fighters are trying to land on her fucking chest
We're not gonna win this battle
Oh my god, she's squirming on her windshields
I'm glad you pointed that out, producer Cress.
You said she's out of breath.
She's so nervous.
She's unprepared.
You saw when she started playing that last song,
she knows the chords.
Why is she nervous as material's gold?
Well, right, I know, I would be confident with it.
But she's looking down on the piece of paper.
She doesn't memorize the lyrics.
She probably knows the chords.
But let's see what she's got here.
That's what, you might not not know this but I have balls.
I wear them on my chest. I call them my chesticles.
And now for a little song called chesticles because I am great with coming up with titles.
So here we go.
So here we go. Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. She sings like Jody not Sitchell. And then I turn here on Netflix.
Oh.
But they are definitely on OnlyFans at vintage babes 69.
She's not great at writing melodies, I gotta say.
It's like the least funny part of the show, Friends, which people argue isn't funny.
Smelly cats.
Yeah, the fucking Phoebe singing shit was always terrible and that's her gimmick
Carl's awful. I have a question and gross
That's not like an actual real guitar right that's like a kid's toy she's played or something
Yeah, it's some kind of garbage. It's like an electric ukulele. Yeah, it's like a cool is like a mandolin
It's got fucking guy answer like a mandolin guy stuff
It looks like you have four strings on it does that four strings on yes
Wow, you're able to count all four of those tuning bags
Good job if it had six strings her chubby fingers wouldn't be able to make the chords. Solid point. Usually fat people just play bass. Shots are being fired all around right now.
This is incredible. Shots.
I hear my balls on my chest. I call them my chesticles.
All right, that was a flat note, but a little pitchy.
A little pitchy.
But I want to point out, she goes,
so I have balls, I called them my chesticles,
and then that was the punchline of the song.
You can't introduce this song with the punchline of the song.
Oh, hey.
It's a no for me dog.
Someone please take this dog out of the studio.
Put it down. Someone take this dog out of the studio Put it down
Jesus second verse
A couple problems with you.
You had some pitchy spots here and there, you know what I mean?
You lost them out there a little bit.
I started a little pinchy for me.
I was like, oh.
I was trying to get a tother dress.
There was some pitchy problems in there.
Now it's funny again.
Now it's funny again.
Fuck it.
I'm going commando or as I call it free ballin'.
Yes I have balls.
No not just lady balls.
She could have gone into free falling by Tom Petty right there.
If that's the joke, free balling, right?
Yeah, I mean, that would have been great, but.
There was some pitch problems in there.
You had a couple things going on.
Pitch was all over the place.
Oh, wow.
Dead serious, you guys.
If you were in a club, which act would you
rather see come to the stage her or Bob smiley?
I'm taking her I'd rather watch her
Trying to do this in public that Bob smiley it is polished fucking bowl of vanilla ice cream of an act
But who would you rather heckle?
her
Well Andy you take Bob and I'll take Chester.
Sounds like a deal.
I wear my balls up high.
I wear my balls on my chest.
Why are we still listening to this?
Come on.
It's going to get funny.
She has zero talent.
Her voice is atrocious and she thinks these are jokes. I'll have to tuck them into my waist. Then your socks. It's definitely better than talking your vagina into your shoes.
Kegel damage.
All right.
A little PSA right here right now.
Always go in the front, never in the back.
If you keep on the back door shut, you're going to have a bad time.
And trust me, I know this from personal experience.
Yes. She tried to tell me that she's constipated because I'm not
buying it.
It's Tom Myers like laughing at is that him?
I'm not sure she posted this is just a standalone.
Very possible.
I'm with you.
This woman drops shits like a horse like a police force. Yeah. Yes. Just everywhere Jesus. Yes.
I have balls.
No, not just leany balls.
I wear my balls up high.
The horse is getting worse.
Yes.
It's getting worse.
It's getting worse.
So is your show.
I wear my balls up my chest.
I call them my chest equals.
Okay.
A couple of times.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. I lift my balls up my chest.
I call them my chesticles.
OK, a couple of rules of writing a comedy song.
First off, jokes.
But secondly, you've got to keep changing it up.
It can't be the same verse and chorus over and over again.
There's no element of surprise here.
The joke is chesticles.
Got it. Moving on. You know, the shouldn't be an element of surprise here. The joke is chesticles. Got it. Moving on.
You know, there shouldn't be an element of surprise, but yet I am surprised this exists.
Yeah, that's a good point. There is one surprise here that I keep hitting play.
What do you call them?
on my chest. What are you calling? I call them my chesticles. Nothing like a song about boobs. Am I right? I'm definitely right about that. I used to think that. Yeah, I know.
The first time I've heard a pet song about boobs. God damn it. I mean, I love boobs.
That's why I'm dating a woman. I almost said set of women. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So it was off my mind.
I got so excited.
It does sound like top Myers.
The size of women.
All those guys were damn it.
Oh, but she thinks she's like this hot squirting lesbian
or all pining over.
Tom is laughing like he wants someone on his panel to laugh.
Yeah.
So here's how you do it. I only know I have a short amount of time left here. Laughing like he wants someone on his panel to laugh. Yeah
Hold on this one might be funny it's come 69, you know, I'm actually into this now
It's come back around you guys know a funnier fucking number you tell me right now cuz I don't
Nothing Every morning you eat me, small and white.
I think we're profiling here.
Clean and bright.
Is she hearing the chords she's playing?
No. None of this is matching up. None of it's a lie.
Has she even seen her vagina to know that that is not an accurate description?
You look happy to eat me.
Yes.
May you bloom and fall.
For forever.
All right, I'm finally tapping.
I'm sorry.
I can only torture you guys and myself so much until it just becomes a little bit too much for all of us.
I suppose.
The only thing that's good about this
is when Stuttering John runs around going,
well, what are you going to do if I leave?
I think we just figured it out.
I'm just really, truly thankful there
couldn't possibly be anything more disgusting than this woman.
Oh, you think that that's the case, do you? Yeah, Cardiff electric show. What's happening Cardiff? Oh, hello. Welcome back. How you doing naps? Oh my god
It was it was a nappedacular
So Cardiff I'm sure you've been following a little bit of what's that our jobs been up to this week
The big news is that he has a new computer
Very good camera. I know we could all see what he looks like in great detail
Three large which is not not great three large
So his computer cost him $2,000 he keeps bragging about how he dropped $2,000 on a computer
18 gigs Carl 18 gigs of RAM. Yep. He's mentioned that many times. He's very proud of himself
I think it's the lowest you can get on a MacBook Pro
That's not an expensive computer do you think his. I think it's the lowest you can get on a MacBook Pro That's not an expensive computer. Do you think his kids will think it's cool? You think maybe they'll come by to see it
I was gonna say how would they know exactly how they know you got a computer
Yeah, what a what a thing to be excited about when your life is in ruins, but it's so weird because
John thinks like a poor person
Which is surprising because he used to have money for a brief period of time
But there was a period of time when John was making big paychecks and the fact that he's bragging about a $2,000 computer
These fucking people in the devil verse bragging about having money and making money and spending money is crazy to me
And you're right. You know how you know he has a poor person's mentality with money because he has none left
Yeah, no, it's obvious. Yeah, it's very obvious. He's like what a poor person buy a new computer. Yes
It's the only thing you do for a living is use your computer
You've had the same over four years and it stopped working eight months ago
Yeah, that is how a poor person would do it idiots. Yeah, you wait for your car to break down before you replace it
Yeah, you run out of duct tape. You're finally like I guess I gotta fucking buy a new car now because
No other way to keep it together. Yes. A poor person would have something break down and they
would complain about it on the internet for weeks. Yes.
Before to get a fix. Yes, that's exactly. Demand the beer
be delivered. Do you think a poor person would say something
like he said today? My brand new 2005 Harley.
said today, my brand new 2005 Harley.
Yes, he did. So is he bragging that he bought it brand new in 2005?
Sounds like it.
Or is he forgetting that it's not brand new when he's the year slipped?
So all right, it's new to him.
Yeah.
All right. Well, John has declared war on Pat Tixon.
And this is this is nuts because for a long time, John was going,
who the fuck is Pat Dixon?
Who the fuck knows who Pat Dixon is?
Nobody knows who this guy is.
And then like everyone else in the dabble verse,
John's just like, oh, I'm going to get Pat out of the show.
Pat's a cool guy. Yeah, yeah.
We're going to hang out in AC. I'm going to get Pat on the show. Pat's a cool guy. Yeah, yeah, we're going to hang out in AC. I'm going to get him on the show.
So then he reaches out to Pat Dixon to book him on the show.
And Pat is reluctant and eventually says,
I'm going to hold off because it's just everyone's watching
your show and scrutinizing it.
It's weird.
I don't know if I want to be a part of a show.
Like all these other shows are playing clips up and goofing on
The entire internet said you're a scumbag. Which is the right instinct. Pat the smart guy
That's the right instinct on this one. So and it was the nice
I mean yeah the way he did it was very most people just don't respond correct
So it is nice of him and for him to explain it in such a polite way. I think it's great
So I'm playing this off of John's channel just to show you this is still up on the internet
This is John's anger issues on full display and he takes a lot of his videos down
I have one that we're gonna play in a little bit that he took down immediately
Because it's definitely against YouTube's terms of service. So we'll get into that
But a lot of these videos John Chantix, are just embarrassing.
Carl, if you play that video, I will give you $100.
I will definitely play that video for you.
Oh man, I just saw your messages here. I mentioned to Brennan, he doesn't care.
You're just at the center of something, a phenomenon I don't quite understand.
The subject of intense all caps focus.
And I'm not sure I'm ready to step into that.
I mean, you have all caps multiple shows
dedicated to watching all caps you exclusively.
Something about that spooks me a little.
I've never seen anything like that.
When something feels weird to me, I hold off.
Sorry to bitch out or whatever
But your status in this community is off-putting to me at this time
Sorry to have wasted any of your time and I'm gonna write back. All right, so all of that was polite
I would say reasonable. I'm gonna tell you right now accurate
Off-putting was the nicest description. I've heard anyone use to describe him at a long time
I find your aroma off pudding. So I find the fact that this room is filled with stray cats
Can I just ask where that level headed Pat Dixon was when he was punching Gino Bisconti and I think he's being level headed
Yeah, that's a little um that would have been boiling over a little bit longer than that. That's the same as he ever did. He actually said I'm
Putting my fist off of your face. Yes
John's now going to tight back to Pat. We just heard what Pat wrote to him
You might think he'd be like listen man. I get it. I know there's a lot of people making fun of me
It sucks because I'm trying to do a show here. I want to be legit. I want to get good gas.
I think you'd be great on the show.
If anything changes, I'd love to have you.
This is how I would respond to something like this.
Yeah, but let's watch how anchor issues.
Melendez deals with us.
Yeah, this is the pro.
You're watching the process right now.
I think this computer is going to last long with thunder thumbs over there.
Drilling a hole in his keyboard
Losers process winners react
Have you guys seen on uncle rico? They have the video of him typing and like a piano player's like
All right first I write you're such a pussy just do something real celebrity in the dabble verse
What that took up that long to write you're such a pussy
Chapter one What a response that is. I'm sorry man, I don't know what's going on with you.
I don't want to be a part of it.
You fucking pussy, I'm a celebrity, you're a loser.
It's almost like John's a bad guy or something.
Yeah, it's like it's hard to deal with.
Yeah, difficult even.
If you keep watching this, he types,
he starts saying way more words
than he could have possibly typed.
So you know he's really embellishing the whole entire thing.
Yes.
Which explains why they won't watch me.
Can you pause it for one second?
Of course.
Typing one handed like that, how has he
possibly got one capital letter starting a sentence?
And he's Captain, Captain English.
Grammar?
Captain Grammar.
I worked with a guy.
I explained to the guy.
He has two Z's on the end of it.
I worked with a guy, Cardiff, who never used the shift key.
He would type the caps lock, type in the first letter of the sentence, then type the caps
lock again and keep typing.
John might be doing that.
It's very possible.
It's his OCD.
Okay. Let's see.
What a fucking wuss, Pat Dixon.
You are a pussy.
You are the true Barra-Hawissa.
Holy shit.
You're such a pussy.
Just because of me only wields 11 devils, which explains why they all watch me gives you the reason
and furthermore.
What's great is that after Pat gets this obey, he's just like,
I made the right decision. Yeah,
the only way you could respond is just be like, yeah,
this is what I thought. Okay. That's why I don't want to go on your show.
Thanks.
To what's out.
I have lost all of your money,
of your fame, of your friends.
You've lost all of your dignity.
You've lost all of your what, John?
I lost a ring light as well recently.
You're not the only one.
If any, respect.
You just found out about him.
I had for you.
Yeah, I lost all respect for you.
It was a very respectful note from Pat.
Oh, I'm just saying he claims he didn't know who he was.
Correct.
He went from who the fuck is this guy to I used to respect you.
Yeah, you let me down, Pat.
Oh, I always know the people who when people post things about something
they don't like that I've done, the phonies are always go,
I used to love this guy, you support this guy.
I used to love WTP, but after the nap video, I'll never watch again.
I was like, those people are just like,
no, you never watched this show.
No one's buying that.
I've lost all this respect that I had for you.
Why, because you saw him on Kevin Brennan's show three times?
Yeah, Jesus.
Stay irrelevant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you see the numbers skyrocket after that? No, I received numerous death threats.
That's not a lie.
I think I won the creep off like 40 weeks in a row
after he appeared on a show.
The bump is just finally subsiding actually.
In fact, you know what?
I'll take this moment to just apologize
to everyone for ever helping this fucking guy.
I'm sorry.
I really don't know what got into me.
Sorry everybody.
I would be approaching 10,000 subs on YouTube
if I didn't get involved with him.
He set me back about a year.
I do remember there was a moment,
I think we were doing some bonus thing for creep off
and we were just hanging outside the Carlson
and you're like, I have starting John's number
and I don't know what to do with it.
And I go, you get him here, that's the Carlson. You're like, I have starting John's number and I don't know what to do with it. And I go, you get him here.
That's the end game.
You and me did have this conversation, didn't we?
I said, we gotta figure out a way to get him here
to clown him.
And I feel like it's my fault.
Cause I was just like, cause then you put down the tap
of like trying to get him here.
So.
You know, I'll tell some stories again at the Tampa show that I haven't told yet.
I'll save them for that.
But that was a real fucking nightmare, man.
People were really fucking mad at me.
And I get it.
Yeah, and I remember we were driving back from Detroit.
It was just beginning.
Yeah.
And you were, even when it was just minutes
into you interacting with them,
you're like, I don't know how long I can keep it.
Yeah. I mean, it's't know how long I can keep it
It's tough because like the whole point of it to begin with was to fucking goof on Carl Yeah, was to give him the fucking Calbaciti picture to have a fuck with Carl
They were doing the shows together and then shit got so goddamn sad
Yeah, well it went from you sharing some things that jacket goof on me for yep to him going
I don't know why your friends at the sky video
You shouldn't be front of somebody for it's like dude. You know we're just busting balls to hey
Maybe I could come up there and do something at that club of yours. Come on. Maybe I could do something you guys need a janitor
How the floor is that I just want to be very clear. I never said hey John come and do something
No, I know I'm back fucking ass. He bagged you. I know
So bread and serving live March 9, but also with the full reveal March 22nd
Wttp live comm. Yeah, no the full reveal will be in March night. Okay, and March. Yeah, I will say this here's a
Tears a teaser he did at one point say to, when did I ever ask you for a favor, moonhead?
Which was the moment I about coughed up blood, everybody.
Literally, I don't think, I'm speaking out of school,
I think we've already talked about this.
Literally, he wanted to come in December
and you go, well, that's gonna be during football season.
You sure you wanna do a show on a Sunday night
when they're up against Sunday football?
And he goes, oh yeah, that's right, no, the Giants might be playing. All right, let's gonna be during football season. You sure you wanna do a show on a Sunday night when they're up against Sunday football? And he goes, oh yeah, that's right,
now the giants might be playing.
All right, let's do much.
Yeah, that's why it was so far out.
And there's a specific reason
why he was coming to New York State in March.
There was a reason he was gonna be here.
On a Sunday.
It wasn't like an arbitrary date that we picked.
I would have done it much closer.
I would have gotten it out of the way
and it could have probably been fun maybe.
He was coming up for the reading of the will from his mom and that's how it just happened.
Coming up for Mike Morrison, his mom's wedding.
You know, he probably would have sold a lot of tickets if he was just watching a Giants
game with everybody.
That's true.
Yeah.
So, John gets very angry with Paddex and as you just saw and he ties back and he calls
him out and all this kind of shit.
So this was on Sunday and that's his new laptop.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Couple of days go by and now John has resorted to of course weaponizing the taxes.
So now this conversation that he's reading out loud, now he's showing it on the screen
in order to get back at Pat.
There is one condition, that's one condition of my end.
I just want to point out, and I'm friendly with Pat and Geno.
I don't think I'm doing anything to harm either party here.
But as we all know, Pat assaulted Geno
and there's still pending charges
of Pat wherever go back to New York City.
So what Pat is saying to John here is,
if I come on this back when he's tinkering
what's going on in John's show,
here's the things that are off limits, all right?
You can't bring Gino on the show
or Keanu on the show while I'm on there
or take a call from,
I can't interact with the guy in any way, okay?
So John's now, he's got this information,
he's gonna weaponize it against Pat Dixon.
And it should protect myself legally. Trump. Yeah, it says right in there
I'd prefer not to talk about any of this. Yes, correct. That's why John's using it
He's such an asshole. He's a garbage human being and John you'll never get a good guest ever again because this is all out
This is how you treat people no one's gonna ever
Trust you with their information.
Because he puts it in there, he's just like,
hey, don't read this.
And John started reading it on the show
before he was really mad at Pat.
He's like, oh, I can't read that.
And then two days go by, and now he's right out here.
Check this out, everyone.
You dick.
Order of protection.
I cannot have any contact with Gino Bisconti.
And he invites to avoid his girlfriend also.
If there was any chance chance he can get the link
and appear on the show,
or would you be taking his phone call, either them?
I prefer, in fact, not to talk about any of this,
Gino or any of it.
All right, well, too bad because now
I wasn't gonna show that,
but now you fucking doxxx my phone, Abba.
He did?
Yeah, so Pat on his show was showing messages
and John's phone number showed up on the screen.
Yeah.
Oh, a taste of his own medicine.
That's a bunch of boomers fighting at the internet.
What do you expect?
Oh, Pat didn't do it like on purpose over there.
No, no, he didn't do it on purpose.
Pat wasn't just like, ah, it's five, four, six. No, no, I didn't do it on purpose. That wasn't just like, ah, it's five four six
But does John ever come off as likable in any single way and I've said this about Chad Zumak, too
The one thing you have to do as a comedian is be likable
Nobody goes to a cottage. I hate this motherfucker, but goddamn he makes me laugh
You know, you just like you got to be pleasant and fun and
interesting and John just comes off as a bitter fucking asshole also just to back up so this is
the text messages that were coming through from Pat Pat after he says you know I can't talk about
Gino just FYI then he goes it's a big deal to me meeting you and getting to do your show polite
supplementary I'm sorry I don't want to rush into it without getting your thoughts on this.
I was hoping to confirm it last night
because I got to go to sleep.
Now this is like at 3 a.m.
So he's basically saying,
I'm not gonna do your show tomorrow
because I didn't hear back from you.
You know, hours have passed at this point.
But he's saying in that same thing,
like, dude, I'm really excited to talk to you.
This is really cool.
It's a big deal for me.
Like this is very polite from Pat and John's response.
All right.
Well, too bad because now I wasn't going to show that.
But now you fucking dox my phone.
I wasn't going to show that.
But it turns out I'm an asshole.
I almost forgot for a second there.
Look at this prick.
Hey, ugly.
I thought fucking pencil setty racers. Yeah, ugly, I thought fucking pencil's had erasers.
Yeah right.
I thought pencil's had erasers, Johnny.
Little Johnny cries a lot.
There's a reason why Johnny has one friend
in the entire devilverse and it's this midget
who is fucking with everyone who cannot tell a truth.
It's his only friend in the entire devilverse.
Rumble stills kid.
I'm so fucking funny, you ass boy. So now game on, brah.
What game?
Now first of all, what a pussy.
Okay, and then it goes back into what a pussy
is over and over again.
Tony Michaels gets brought up here.
Let me just play, this is gonna be a quick package today.
We're not gonna do too much job.
Was he delivering Uber?
Did he bring it?
Well, so Tony Michael's here.
I said, no sauce for your duggies.
Super Chatter comes in and was just like, hey, man,
why not get Tony Michael's on the show again?
We all enjoy the drive through videos.
So then we find out.
Fuddles, man.
Then we find out that Tony Michael's has gone the same way
as Hellsparks and everyone else in John's life
John get Tony Michaels on Georgia. I don't
Know you know Tony Michaels. I don't have a problem with them, but I think he got too big for his britches
I I don't
You know somebody's guys like I'm not gonna mention names, but the you know
They start getting some steam and then I don't hear from him anymore.
And I used to hate, every time I called Tony Michaels,
he would go, what do you want? And I know he's being funny,
but it's fucking annoying.
Nobody knows who to fuck you are, Tony. I don't want to argue with Tony.
You're not arguing with Tony. You're not
Y'all get your computer screen as usual
It's got to be John is so radioactive that just being associated with him the heat that Tony took
From this show because he was associated with John just drove him away. Drive in, drive out, drive through. So he hit that muttering J created.
No, John's buddy.
He literally had to take all of his videos down
off of YouTube, Tony Michaels did,
because he was associated with John for a little while.
And so was his buddy Gabe.
Everyone Gabe and Tony would both come on their show
and talk about the shitotopes and whatever else.
I was like, hilarious, banter.
Pretty good stuff, right.
Do you ever, when John was like,
they can't be serious with this?
That was so good.
Yeah, it was good stuff.
It was great.
Oh, I have some other examples of John.
Fucking hell.
Hilarious when it comes to roasting people.
But John starts singing a song here.
I don't know this song.
Okay.
But I assume it is a song.
Maybe he's making this up, I don't know. Do I ever hear from again? No. Fake friends. You don't lose
when you lose when you lose fake friends. Fake friends.
So his fingers do move. He can't touch with multiple hands. Let me hear from him anymore. You don't lose when you lose when you lose
fake friends.
Is that a G chord?
Solo.
You are one pathetic loser.
Was that a song?
Is anyone familiar with fake friends?
Nope.
They just come up with that?
Could it possibly Gucci Mane?
Well, I don't know.
I looked up there are songs called fake friends, but I can't imagine John knows a lot of Gucci Mane? Well, I don't know. I looked up there are songs called Fake Friends.
I can't imagine John knows a lot of Gucci Mane,
but I don't know.
Maybe it is.
But anyway, how pathetic is that?
That John's going on his show now,
and he's like, what on mentioning names,
but Hellsparks and Gabe and Tony Michael's,
and none of them get back to me anymore.
Yeah.
Let's go through the list of the body count of friends
you don't have anymore.
All right. Before I get to the real damning evidence that John's probably broken the terms of service against YouTube here, John starts talking about his IQ and how he has gone up over time because
the first thing that works, the first thing that was 136 back when he's on the Howard Stern show
and that was like some internet IQ test thing that he took
And now of course he claims 160 or 165 I get confused really doesn't matter
I mean you might as well say a billion, you know when you're stuttering John you say 160 or 165 just like infinity
I'm my IQ is infinity like okay. The question was how many beers did you have today?
165 okay, so this is John explaining how IQ works to us dummies.
Oh, sorry.
There it is.
If 136 was right, you've lost several IQ points.
No.
No, in fact, I've gained them.
Last time I took the test, I got a 160.
So you've got to understand something. And I know that some scientists will argue that this is not the case, but it is.
He's smarter than some scientist.
Not at all.
I took the test.
It was on that daddy's placemat.
Some scientists would argue I shouldn't be alive still.
But I am, so they're idiots.
Winning, I'm by winning. I went here and I went there.
If. Now they say your IQ doesn't change, but it does.
It does. Yes. Your IQ changes.
Explained.
Just that even that assessment is ridiculous.
OK. Because he when I was even when I was talking to Scott, the base, and he said he
took the most, you know, you know,
the most legitimate IQ test in the world.
And it's funny because Scott DePace is going, yeah, John, you know, somebody's questioned
to ask me like who wrote, who wrote Moby Dick?
And I'm like, oh, you mean Herman Melville?
And he goes, yeah, I didn't get that one. And I'm like, oh, you mean Herman Melville? And he goes, Herman Muckster. Yeah, I didn't get that one.
And I'm like, OK.
So I just want to point out, as he's
doing his denier on project right there,
that IQ tests don't have like random trivial facts on that.
It doesn't make any fucking sense.
There's no double jeopardy.
Name the roommates odd threes company, is that odd?
Right.
So I looked this up.
And from what I found is
a typical IQ test consists of taking various tests measuring intelligence, including spatial
recognition, short term memory, mathematical ability and analytical thinking commonly misunderstood
as something that tests all the knowledge you have acquired over the years. The IQ test is
actually testing your capacity to learn. And that's the thing like just having knowledge in your head
does not make you smart. This is the thing that Patrick Michael thinks too, he's
just like, hey I got a fun fact for you, now you're smarter. Like no, that's not how, that's
how our intelligence works.
Right. Fucking moron.
And John's insisted to refuse to learn fucking anything.
But even when he explains.
Even when he explains.
How could I throw him his argument.
When he explains that he's smart, it shows how stupid he is. He's the only guy I know.
They can be like, I'll prove I'm smart. They say something to dumb as shit he's smart. It shows how stupid he is. He's the only guy I know. I'll prove I'm smart. Let's say something the dumbest shit you've ever heard.
His deniro phases is I'm lording this over you.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's the same look he makes when his landlord asks for the rent.
Yeah.
Give me a break. Every month.
Every month.
What?
But I'm smart.
So how do they say your IQ doesn't change?
All right, so now, now he's already come up with this idea
that there's a question in the IQ test
about who wrote Moby Dick.
So based on that, he's gonna prove
that your IQ does change over time.
If, if when you're in junior high,
you haven't read Moby Dick yet,
and then you're in college and you have and then you can answer that correctly
By the way, Samuel Clemens is Mark Twain. Oh my god
Oh my subversive. He's doxxing
Oh, Cardiff, Cardiff. You're the zing cake now.
So I just want to point out that we just watched him call Pat
Dixon a pussy over and over again, and a wuss,
and everything else.
This is the only guy who pussies out of challenges
that he makes.
He challenged Boyd Mike II on IQ test,
and then decided to back out of that.
He challenged producer Joe to a boxing match, and he's backed out of that. He challenged producer Joe to a boxing match
and he's backed out of that.
I mean, there's been a ton of different examples of this.
I wanted an IQ test from Senator John.
I know we could raise a lot of money for him.
You owe it to us, John.
I remember when we challenged Anthony Kumi to an IQ test
and my buddy Drew Lane was like,
I got 2,500 bucks for that right now.
Let's go.
And then other people were like, yeah, I'll throw in a thousand.
We could definitely raise a lot of money
to prove
You're a fucking moron Jen. You won't do it because you're a
So do you have do you have any more on him talking about the IQ test? No, what do you have?
Well, because he was he went on a rant today about it. Okay, and he keeps started bringing up the Baltimore Sun article
It's documented in the bar Baltimore Sun article. article. He kept saying that over and over again.
Okay.
I've pulled up that Baltimore Sun article. I paid the 99 cents to have the Baltimore Sun
for six months.
The fucking newspaper from the wire he's citing?
Yes.
Great.
Because he makes this claim that it's documented there, the one he took on the Stern show. Here's
the paragraph.
Okay.
In his best-selling book, Private Parts, Mr. Stern has a chapter called Stuttering John, the one he took on the Stern show. Here's the paragraph. Okay.
In his bestselling book, Private Parts,
Mr. Stern has a chapter called Stuttering John,
Hero of the Stupid.
On the air, Mr. Stern sometimes puts the man to shame,
calling him stupid and making him publicly take an IQ test.
Now in parentheses, Mr. Melendez says he scored 136.
Yes. Mr. Stern says he cheated
That's it. That's the
That's the documentation that
136 IQ
Also a quote of him saying he did it. Oh lie a quoted lie. Oh fucking moron
I'm gonna get this all of this to yourself. You fucking moron. I'm gonna get this. All of this to yourself, you fucking idiot.
I'm gonna get this wrong.
But when John took that IQ test back when he was on the Stern Show,
I think it was like Will Murray or one of the other guys also took a test.
And then John left the show and then the whole IQ thing with the later cast.
And the guy that he took the test with scored much lower on the real test
that wasn't just an online thing they took.
Which also proves that John's 136, if that's true, is bullshit, because these little online IQ tests is not a real IQ test.
Probably wants you to be able to feel like you're smart so that you'll pay money for it or whatever
the fuck you want. Also, USA is correct. The IQ test is always measured relative to people your age
to ensure it doesn't change as you age, correct? They look at it, that's why 100 is kind of the
baseline. And then are you smarter than most
people in your peer group? Or are you dumber? And that's why it
goes up and down from 100. But that's hilarious. That's what
he's citing today on the show. He doesn't realize that even on
there, Howard's going he's full of shit. April 29 1994.
Anybody wants to get that? Wow. 94. 94. I think that's probably before will Murray's time. I don't even know he has the memory and smell of an elephant
Impressive okay, let's watch as John decides to people are calling this extortion
I don't know if extortion is the right term, but John is out there striking channels and one of the channels he's striking is our buddy doom
Who his channel is dooms payah?
So it's DOOMS
PA you you why you H?
dooms payah on YouTube and Twitter and
He does the no context during John Melanda's videos that John has been striking lately.
And so people in the chat are saying, John, you got to remove these strikes.
You can't go around striking these people.
We all love Doom and what he's doing.
Well, I like this guy.
I think he also struck Tuki again, right?
Yep.
Yeah, he's got strikes.
No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
No, it was a fake, John.
Oh, all right.
Plot thickens very good
Well, I like this guy
But two dollars ain't gonna do it
Sutterings on cut dooms from slack. He's a good fella. He's felt that wrong just to fan good fellas not a word
He's spelled that slag rock
Fucking douche.
All right.
All right.
Super chat me 100 bucks and I'll lift one of the strikes.
Then super chat me another 100 and I'll lift another one.
Terrorism.
So what that proves is that John's not putting these strikes in in good faith and that's
one of the things they ask you when you're putting in a copyright claim is, is this in
good faith? And the fact that he's going well
I'll take the strikes away if you give me a hundred bucks on YouTube through their system
Yeah, it's definitely against the terms of service for YouTube. It's another one of those classy Melendez moves that you never see coming
It's one of those things we like oh just when you thought he could be a little shittier. It's a real
It's unbelievable to me that He's this stupid 100 bucks
You need 100 bucks that bad John 160 IQ Melendez over here
Just fucking admitted that if you paid him some money, he'll make the strike go well
Maybe it went big in Atlantic City this weekend
Many you were on a blind mic project I was I listened to that episode and you had hack right on there too
And I liked what hack ride said about the dabble verse. Yes. What hack
right said he goes the reason why the dabble verse is doing so well is because
all these creators are coming together and you have guys like hack ride and like
doom and my lost interest which we'll get into you have all these people who are
certain channels. Electric. All these people who are certain his channels electric
Davelord all these people who are creating content and they're good at it and they create great content
Yeah, and it's actually impressive. They're all building up audiences and starting channels. I should mention a to keep public over here
He's hot tear well
What's over with Kaylee that's not the point
I Well, I know sorry what's over with Kaylee that's not the point The point is I Like what had cried had to say about that and it's guys like fucking John who can't wrap their dumb heads around it
That yeah, buddy
These things are gonna exist people are gonna put together clip shows and pull out
Soaring John out of context and make videos about it
You know, it's the fact of the matter is if you guys don't realize by now that this is all for the drips and drabs of super chats that he gets
He's putting himself through this because this is all there is always got and it's that's what makes it like heartbreak
Eat like you can't look at me go. I'm just kidding. I don't give a fuck
He's being interviewed I believe it's an exclusive clip, I don't know what's out there.
The interviewer sent it to me
and where he explains how much money he's making off
of this new career that he has.
But let's watch a little bit more of this clip.
The same $160,000 he got as a substitute teacher.
106 was the, yes, was the number he threw off his substitute.
But I didn't even edit any of this.
This is just going straight through from after saying,
give me 200 bucks and I'll get rid of two of the strikes.
Got it.
Capiche.
Rick from New York, Dancer to Fiverr.
Congrats on the new computer.
Is the pitch quality better?
Yeah, hope so.
Just wait till you see the video
of Mike Morris cramming your mom's face. Isn't it sad that these what I would assume are grown
men. They're little kids. I think it's okay. It's been this kids in 86 year old woman
They're not goofing on your mom dude
And I saw him in another clip recently
Say my mom doesn't want a photo of who on the internet because you know there's a photo of his mom behind Mike Morse now and uncle
Rico and I'm like, oh, that's rich
This is a guy who posted a photo of my parents
He's posted multiple photos of my family, my sister,
my parents, Goofenon, all of them,
nonstop my sister-in-law, my brother,
and he's like, they don't want that photo on the internet.
What, what, what did my dad DM you, a photo of himself?
And say, here you go, John, post it on your Twitter,
get some yucks out of it.
Same guy can't stop yelling Shuley's mom's name out.
Right.
Fucking dickhead.
He explained his hypocrisy on today's show. Oh, please
Tell us Karatev. What's the up there? You posted his audiobook on your
duh
I
Wove that I made a joke that his kids sounded like they were losers and that justifies anything he wants to do ever again
He's like, well, yeah, I said his house on fire. He called my kids losers
Yes, and just for for no reasons I don't think that was Vince's kids super chatty that I just want to make sure everybody knows
That was a joke. It's what you call a joke. They enjoy John show quite a bit. I hear yeah
He's such a fucking asshole. So let's find out why is John putting himself through this? Because as we just saw, he's reading these $5 super chests
to talk about, like, Morris creaming on his mom's face.
And it's just not some people fucking with him.
And it seemed like this is a bad way to go about life.
For fucking nickels on the internet.
But hold on, though.
Hold on.
That just blows my goddamn mind.
Hold on, though, because Will Herron,
friend of the show,
who actually got a new story out of the air that
included Stuttering John Clipps, had a longer interview with him.
And this is from that interview.
No, I just, you know, I think it's time that all of this
goes away, although I don't anticipate it will,
unless I decide to walk away again.
But frankly, Will, it's become very profitable for me.
Good.
Yes, I'm very profitable.
So it doesn't make sense for me to walk away.
And because I'm making really good money.
That's fantastic.
Yes, I mean, let's say six figure money.
So it doesn't make sense for me.
Let's say six figure money. Okay, we't make sense for me. Let's say six figure money.
Okay, what's that?
Make it really good money.
Let's say six figure money.
That includes the decimal points.
Well, you're gonna find out what it includes in a second,
but I just wanna point this out
because my buddy Dick Masterson has said this many times,
whenever someone says they make six figures,
that first figure is a one.
No one who makes real significant money in show business or in any
business that they're in says six figures if the first number isn't a one and the next
number is probably a zero. Fun fact, most people in show business don't go running around
screaming about how much they're getting paid either. I lacked, although John does and so
does Kevin Brennan, which we're going to find out in a second here. It's incredible to me.
These guys think they're killing it.
And actually Ethan Ruff's the other asshole. I was on the Dick show debating with him and he's like, I make so much money. And then it all came out where he gets his money from. And he's got like
10 pay pigs. It's like, if your entire income is relying on David Chandler, guess what? David
Chandler went away. So I got newsflash for ya. Maybe not the best business model right there.
I was just hoping that like four people,
like if John didn't have Leo Gunn and Brock Lee,
which after this weekend he probably won't.
If he didn't have those two, he wouldn't have more money.
Oh my God, that hammer is just waiting to fucking fall.
I know.
He needs-
They're gonna fuck with you, John.
You dumb idiot.
You dumb idiot.
Brock Lee even went on Kevin's show,
which we're gonna see in a minute,
and explained to Kevin, he's just like,
yeah, yeah, trust me, this is a goof.
We're gonna get out for a hot John.
I'm a KB guy, he even said that.
John's so stupid.
He just, yeah, but he gave me three out of bucks.
Anybody who would give me money is a good guy.
Good guy, yeah, I like this guy.
Broccoli, he's a good guy.
I have no idea what he looks like.
I have no idea who he is.
Broccoli even said to John, dude, when you find out who I am you're not gonna want to have a beer with me
He's made it very clear, but John just can't see it. He broccoli is gonna pay for him to fly out there and
He just thinks that he's a great guy
Because seriously who would fuck with celery John for fun other odds
Other odds that he doesn't make it do we know what the odds are that John won't make it to ac
That he won't go most people think he won't no no chance card if you say no no no
Especially with a flight through fucking Tampa for a lot of water. He's flying from LA
Atlantic City via for water tail. I'm sure he's gonna have to change planes. There's no a's making it on that second plane
Oh my god
No, it doesn't make any sense it has to be spirit airlines or frontier like one or just someone using creative routing to fuck with them
Yeah, yeah, very possible very possible. Yeah might be part of the joke stupid
But for the record to this interview that he's doing is one of the TV appearances He brags about that He's done this year. That's true One of two. Yes, I booked this for him. So I've booked 50% of his television work this year
I just want that on the record John. Did he
Give you 25% of his empties as a fee. Yes. Yeah, that's a lot
superchats
Just YouTube and my pension, you know, and Patreon.
Wow, he includes his pension second.
He's like, well, you're making a lot of money doing this.
He's like, oh yeah, I get Superchance and then my pension.
Oh yeah, and Patreon.
My mom gave me some money.
You made a ton of money.
You don't really bring up your pension.
No.
You don't find out how much money you're making.
Dude, when you're 58, you don't collect that
in your pension, unless you're poor. My nust egg. Poor people would do that. No. You don't know how much money you're making. Dude, when you're 58, you don't collect that in your pension unless you're poor. My nusteg. Poor people would do that. Yes. I would do that.
Yes. Did you hear him bragging about his pension? I hear it all the time. What was it this time?
But this week where he, I ranted about this on Potato Soup, but he went on a rant about
how his apartment is free because his pension covers it.
Dude, he told me that on a phone conversation I had with him.
He goes, yeah, yeah, I got the apartment in Kenoga
because, you know, with my pension,
that covers the whole cost of it.
It's like, no, no, no, but that money you could be using
for something else, dummy, it's your money.
You don't have to spend it.
You don't have to spend that rent for a second place, idiot.
And, you know, like everything, if you add everything up, I'm doing fine.
So that's why I don't need to work in the middle of winter
in a shit hole known as Rockchester.
Who, I don't wanna work a shit hole.
The principality of the matter.
Huh?
The principality of the matter.
Get in there and be like, hey.
The principality is Vincent.
I wanna show, what do you gotta say?
I'm here, I'm not backing down
I'm not
Apologize to my fans, but all right. Well, it's about time for they yeah, right
I have one more thing to play from Stuttering John because John did this thing
He likes to go to hack verse anonymous and just scroll through and find things to play on his show and
On hack verse anonymous. There's a photo of my wife.
Kevin Brennan has been making fun of this photo too.
We'll talk about that in a moment.
But we were at the content house a couple of years ago with
Chrissy Mayer and company and we had a costume day.
My wife dressed up as Stuttering John.
So back then it was still the cockroach thing.
She was wearing a polo shirt inside out because remember John was wearing a shirt inside out that one time?
Oh, I will ever forget.
She had like a thing on her finger for a stink finger.
She's holding a Coors Light can.
It's all like this pose thing.
It's like, look it.
I'm dressed like Stuttering Gemma.
So John finds that photo and he pulls it up.
Now, how many times has John told us?
He's very good at roasting people on the fly?
He could look you up and down and come up with five jokes immediately. What he doesn't realize is that she's roasting him and he's looking at it. Hold on a second. Yeah, well, right. That's a
good point. But what I'm going to play for you right now, and the only thing I edited out of this
clip was when John started reading the comments on the Reddit thread. Because this is what he came up with,
looking at my wife and goofing at her.
No.
Oh my God.
Is that, is that Lady K-Mart's wife?
So far so good. Oh no.
Oh my lord.
Holy shit.
Okay, what else?
Holy fuck.
Is Jen okay?
What else you got, John?
Come on, keep going buddy, you got this.
Holy shit.
Fucking hell.
Are you guys not getting the jokes?
Oh, fuck.
You would think I'm doctoring this, like Vince the loser would.
I am not.
This is what John thought was roasting my wife.
It still goes.
Let's keep going here.
Let's see what else he's got.
Oh, my lord. Let's keep going here. Let's see what else he's got. Oh My lord
Fucking hell you gotta be fucking with me
She was yes, she was fucking with you guys
Wow
Wow. Holy crap.
And that's it.
That was a try to do them.
I mean, you can't make that up.
That's someone devoid of talent and humor in their life.
Or a thought.
Or a thought they're fucking had.
Yeah.
There's the word holy followed by a bunch of nouns.
Oh, he's so stupid.
Wow.
Speaking of people who are, cannot have fun with this shit, let's check in on Kevin Brennan.
And I want to thank our friends over at MyLostInterest, which is a YouTube channel you should definitely subscribe to.
They do a fantastic job, or he does, a fantastic job of kind of putting together little clips from around the devil verse to keep people up to date on what's
going on the devil verse. And this is Kevin Brennan finding
out that Brock Lee, who was the guy who was super chatting Kevin
for all that time is now paying for John to go to Atlantic
City and sending him super chats. Did it cut into Kevin's
end, do you think? Oh, I think Kevin thinks that, because Kevin gets very upset.
Remember, this is the Kevin Brennan,
who recently, I think,
threw out a number of how much money he made last year,
thinking it was impressive.
He's very braggadocious about money,
and it's weird when it just comes from,
like I said earlier, a few people.
When there's a handful of people
who give you most of your money, that's fleeting.
It's a bad business model.
This is the man who invented 4PM on a Friday.
That's true.
No one else even thought of it.
Yeah, I mean, that's pretty inventive.
Wait, when did we get one?
I thought it was three to five.
Anyway, I'm watching John,
because somebody said John's not going to Atlantic City.
How is that my business?
I don't know.
How's that my business?
I don't know. Anyway, that my business? I don't know.
Anyway, so I go to watch John's show because I'm doing my prep for today's show. And I see Brock Lee gave John a hundred dollars. And I'm like, wait, Brock Lee, wasn't he coming to the show?
What wasn't in me and Brock supposed to, that was why Atlantic City got started?
If this is a bit, I don't get it. I usually get Kevin's jokes. I'm usually in on it with him.
If this is like a bit where he's pretending to be upset, then okay, so be it. I hope it is.
Otherwise, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen is an adult man, and this goes on for a while,
we're gonna play it, an adult man going,
but that was supposed to be my pay pig,
and now he's that guy's pay pig,
but what happened to me?
Being the guy who takes your money
that you're just randomly giving away to people,
what the fuck?
Spoiler alert.
I have lost all respect for you, Broccoli.
Me and Broccoli. have lost all respect for you, broccoli.
Me and broccoli.
So now John, with all his crying,
now broccoli is giving John $100 super chats,
because John used to cry that he only gave John $1 or $2.
He would give me $100.
So now with all John's crying.
Wait, is that why you're crying, Kevin?
Are you seeing the strategy is working for him?
So you're just like,
I can also bitch about broccoli,
not giving me as much money as he gives other people.
He won broccoli over.
So I'm not going.
How about that?
I'm not fucking going.
Bye.
No, Kevin, no!
I don't care what the super boy want to watch you play poker. No
Please go to Atlantic City
Why why would I fucking go it was supposed to be me and Brock Lee and whoever and now it's like hey John
Hey John, I'm Brock Lee
Fuck that. So why am I going you got John you got who you you got who you wanted broccoli, right? Cardiff, I know you're not a huge Brennan guy, but am I
Misunderstanding what's going on here? No, he's he's jealous
This is the guy who makes fun of me for needing a nap yeah
Kevin or do you watch yourself on these things you need to calm down this guy a binky
Kevin or do you watch yourself by these things you need to calm down? It's got a binky
You got who you want it, but I was supposed to write write got it got it. I mean, it's un fucking believable
Un fucking believable. Yeah
Real quick. Yeah, have you ever thought about?
Begging Brock Lee to pay your way to Atlantic City because that's what John does does. Well, he's just telling me you're not going to go unless he pays for you to go.
He's doing it in a passive aggressive way.
We're going to see it's going to pay off for him.
And I have to say that Kevin's turning into Stuttering John in multiple ways
because Kevin was also goofing on the picture of my wife
that showed up in the Hackverse anonymous subreddit.
And he was making fun of the way my wife was dressed
with cockroaches on an inside out shirt.
And he's making fun of her socks and stuff.
It's just like, well, this is obviously not
how she usually dresses.
It's similar to like,
something John making fun of me for wearing the cow bikini.
Like, this is what he likes to wear when he goes out.
Do they think it's like-
Her wedding picture that they're looking at.
It's so insane.
It's like, are you this stupid or do you think everyone else is this stupid?
Like you're turning into an idiot, your adult, the way you're goofing at this person.
Right.
Like you said, if it's a bit, it sucks.
If it's a bit, if it's really how you feel, it sucks.
Yes, it's lame either way.
If it's real, it's pathetic.
Oh, that John had to be lame or pathetic.
Kevin, John had Vince the loser on his show and it was showing Vince the photo of my wife and
Vince goes hey, what's that under shirt? Oh, it's like, you know the design of the shirt anyway
Fucking Fodies
There I'll see everybody there. Why why the fuck should I go?
Who who am I going to see?
there why the fuck should I go who am I going to see? Melton? That fat fuck? You know, Melton is a, Melton has a hunchback. Bet me he doesn't.
Bet me he doesn't. When I saw him in Atlantic City, I'm like, why does he have a hunchback?
So, you know, I didn't really care. You know, he's unattractive.
He's physically unattractive.
But he literally has a hunchback.
Bet me he doesn't.
Well, this guy is a supermodel.
So I can understand why he's doing
one of the people's looks.
Bet me he doesn't have a hunchback.
Bet me he doesn't.
He's John.
This is incredible.
So John with all that's crying.
John won with all that's crying John won with all his crying
Broccoli's like yep, that's how you win in this world. You get a super cheddar to give you more money than another guy
Okay, wow, okay. Yep
That's what we're doing
Broccoli's got to pay John. So who's paying me who's paying me?
Broccoli's got to pay John. So who's paying me? Who's paying me?
Who's paying me? Do you think it's crazy about this?
Cashing your pension. I don't fucking know.
Do you think it's crazy?
Yeah, you did a year and a half on that, so now you probably got a lot of money.
This is the other thing that I don't understand at all is that you could have a guy like Broccoli
who's given Kevin thousands of dollars probably over the last few months.
And he's still having a fit over the fact that he's not still giving as much money
or he probably is.
What have you done for me lately?
But yeah, he's also giving money to John.
I would never have the balls to act like this,
to somebody who supported the show
and supported what we did here.
I'm always appreciative.
It's insane.
So I'm supposed to show up wide,
so leave it can beat me half to death.
I can play poker with Mountain.
I'm not interested in any of this. And then we'll just
see and then I'll finally end up picking a time that will work
for me. Thank you all for the very generous super chats.
From all of you. Another thing that Kevin used to make fun of
is watching clips of Stuttering John. Is that what you guys
do? You just watch clips of Stuttering John? Oh, look at
he stuttered. And now this is what Kevin's like.
Glee and Leo Gunn.
Did you hear him say broccoli?
Yeah.
Did you hear that?
He says it all the time.
I heard it.
Oh.
Okay.
So now broccoli is giving Kevin 100 bucks.
Adam, read this.
I'm kidding.
Adam's on here.
I can't.
I don't I like to him chose by myself when I'm this mad because or this depressed because it's like
Nobody knows how to handle it
Broccoli hundred dollars. Thank you, so I'll give it back to you. I mean, it's was not it's just not a good grip
No, you won't I give you back the 400 bucks you paid me last year get broccoli back the money
He paid you you won't thing. I'm not grifting broccoli, but it's like, but John used to I didn't read the comment
to super chat yet. I didn't even read ahead. So I'm just going from John was like, why
don't I get the money literally begging broccoli to give him money and man that he would give
me money and give John $2. So and then I'm watching today. I'm like, holy shit, broccoli.
And but it's like, and then John still thinks he's special because
Broccoli's gonna pay from the come there or this is more embarrassing than owning a mandolin. I'm sorry
Yeah, I have to tell you let's not go
for a mandolin and an app
Way more embarrassing. Someone's gonna get him a hotel and
Then John will be like I'm doing better than Kevin because Kevin no one got Kevin a hotel
And this is how fucking stupid these people are this is how stupid they are these people
This is the lamest pissing contest I've ever seen in my fucking life
They're all pining for Brock Lee's affection
But he's worried about what John's gonna say
Fuck fucking hell.
I know we've all won versus
Stuttering John Kevin Brighton.
We're all winners in that game.
Don't worry about it.
Broccoli asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
What the fuck is this?
You know, watching this, there's one thing that John said.
One of the the pinky the bicycle
There one of the little things that John picks on is affecting him. Yes, you're right
I don't know which one it we got to find out which one it is
It's probably the yellow helmet job brings it up a lot. Yeah, I'm like damn it my wife got me that
Should not have by me my helmet
Make any money. He's a He's turning it about my money,
because he doesn't make dick.
Watch his show, count his super chats,
and get back to me.
I'll pay you to count his super chats every day.
It's a four hour fucking slog, I get it.
But he don't make any money.
I said he was super chat, he reads it immediately. But he's't make any money. I said he was so much that he reads it immediately.
But he's worried about my money. And he has a hunchback. I know it's a humpback, like
a humpback whale or a hunchback. I don't know what's the proper terminology. He can't
stand straight up ever. So I don't know if that's 20 years of podcasting So but at 20 years of podcasting was he up to show for it a curvature of the spine?
He's he don't have any money. He doesn't have a fucking career
And he's coming down there to
Have not with the with the high rollers the high rollers that show up
You're gonna read the super chat Kevin. I feel like you should read the super chat. I would love to see broccoli
up. You're gonna read this super chat, Kevin. I feel like you should read the super chat. I would love to see. Broccoli. Here we go. Listen, I didn't want to mention it, Broccoli,
but again, I'm sick of everyone saying, I know John's gonna be like, I'm winning because
now Broccoli's on my team. He really is turning into John. John, I know what Lady K-Mock's
gonna say. Oh, he's wiping his snot on his shirt. Like, he's doing the exact same shit
that John does. I know what everyone's gonna say
They're gonna make fun of me
But who's everyone his chat dude who fucking knows I would love to see world
He has no friends or friends high rollers
I want to see these two go and try to hang out in the VIP section about God of the both get fucking
No shit, and he don't even he's don't even even watch. I'm meeting my friend, Broccoli's, a little Chinese man.
He'll be here any second minute now.
I hope whoever Broccoli is shows up dressed
like Mickey Rudy at breakfast at Tiffany's.
Yeah, he does.
Oh, there he is.
Yeah, two of the whole thing.
This is insane.
There's been so much speculation about who Broccoli is.
All right, let's get to the fucking super chance.
We can figure out Broccoli's trying to communicate
to Gavin who's still ranting about this.
Brandon's show, he told me,
don't even watch Brandon's show and he's paying me.
So it's like, so that's what they do.
That's what they do.
Melton's like, I'm winning because, because why?
Because I bet Kevin a bet that made no sense
and he couldn't prove and there was no consequences.
But Kevin wouldn't take the bet. I won watch his show and let me know how much he makes who cares
Why do you care you could go back doesn't he leave him up?
Can you just scroll maybe I'll do it you just the ones you leave up on YouTube scroll through him good do it
I'm gonna go tell someone's else's money says the millionaire
Never once as a person who's successful carried on someone else fucking makes idiots. I'm not a successful person
I don't give a right
Super chat add it up in the calculator. I'll do it myself. I don't need anybody to do it
I watch today's show. I'll scroll ahead. I'll count up as yeah
Well, maybe try doing something productive with your time. Yeah, adding up somebody else's money
Don't make your show better. Don't learn about production or get a fucking real microphone or read a super chat
Don't do anything. Just just fucking watch Melton show and come on up how much money he made again the same same thing John does
Kevin's losing cuz he makes so much he has to pay people and taxes so
Kevin's losing I'm John's winning cuz he makes so little he doesn't have to give
any money to his kids or the government or anybody and he's enough to pay for
gas that's true that's a good point he doesn't have to pay for food wow see
Kevin goofing on John's easy get back to that what are you doing you're shredding
right now what the fuck fuck, KB?
You're not coming to AC this weekend as all,
yeah, that's what I thought.
But now it's like about Brock, I mean, it's about...
Let me just fucking read this
for people who are listening to the show.
It says, what the fuck, KB?
You're not coming to Atlantic City now?
This weekend is all about you.
Trust me, follow my lead.
It's all gonna to work out.
S.J. coming to A.C. was very last minute. So broccoli's got a plan.
He's got something up his sleeve. Don't fuck this up.
He wants to drop the pigs blood on Zedary John as he's like,
there's my friend.
And Kevin's fucking it up.
Melton and his fucking
Hunchback and do I want to watch the one of it do I want like and I know it's gonna come up to me like hey, man
It's not a work like you know, you really you really don't like me. I really don't like you I
Love that in Kevin's mind. We're all seeking his approval
Yeah, I gotta go to Kevin and ask
if this is all just a joke and he really does like me. No one gives a fuck. Yeah, no one
cares. You're not that not a great personality trait. No, it's not. You fat fuck. You fucking
humpback whale. I don't like you. You're a lying piece of shit. And and whatever they
do, it's always a win. Surely one last week because he was like that was going bank
road was the best thing that ever happened to me.
And somebody was like yeah, yeah, Joe Matariz.
Yeah, I heard it's good when you go when you file for buying
bankruptcy.
Is it Joe?
Is it the same?
That's how you show you doing well.
KB what the fuck you're not coming to see this weekend.
It's all about you.
Just trust me. just follow my lead it's all
gonna work out studying john coming to AC AC was very last minute you
have your dyslexic
you want to come into California.
You dumb fuck.
That's a fun song. Anyway, broccoli, I apologize.
I apologize for dragging you into it.
Oh, I'm drooling.
After all that, he's like, oh, now he gave me $100.
All right, now we're good.
Andy, you have a new episode.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
And again, I want to give Kevin the benefit of the doubt,
because I do think that he's a funny comic
and has entertained me over the years.
But it just seems like he's gotten to a point where it's so pathetic.
He doesn't even realize what a loser he looks like now.
Does he know how he's coming off and he brags about what money he's making?
But then someone gives money to someone else and not as much to him.
And he throws a fucking fit on the internet like that.
Not a good look, but so bad.
And where's his crew? I thought misery loved company.
Yeah, good point. Yeah. Meanwhile, his family has tucked him away in some part of the house
where he has to put up dividers behind the rubber room.
All right, misery loves money is what I got from this. Yeah. All right, that's not a
good luck, but you know what is a good luck?
Annie Hey, oh hi. What's happening there? Now you don't get it. How was your weekend? My week was fantastic
I was why would you ask him that was in a better place, you know
Well, you know everyone wants banter these days, that's right. Well, you know, I'm the best in the biz. So my bad.
Sorry, Cardiff.
How was your weekend?
Oh, fantastic.
That's an interesting topic.
All right, let's keep it moving.
All right, guys, this time for everyone's favorite.
By the way, I'm doing a podcast at eight o'clock,
so I we're going a little long today with Bobo
from the opiate half of the show.
Oh, yes.
I'm going to be a guest at his show.
So we got to get right to the game here,
figure this out.
It's time for everyone's favorite new game show,
to poke a dabbler.
I'm going to say this real quick to you, Cardiff.
We put out a best of, the editor,
put together a best of package to show for us,
using AI Carl to announce the segments,
and we did... He did much more personality.
Well, according to some, my mother-in-law was freaked out.
But so we did the first every time we covered OPI,
the first every time we covered
Senator John, which happened to be just a couple of weeks apart.
And then the first ever Who Said It game from Cardiff.
And I got a lot of feedback from people saying,
Who Said It is the superior game.
Yeah, I saw that.
I don't know if that's true or not. I know it's a lot of feedback people saying who said it is the superior game. Yeah, so that I don't know that's true or not
I know it's a lot more work
I'll see what I can do I hope you card if I believe in you card if all you have to do is understand Newton's third Laura motion
They condition and when I respond, they go batch it crazy,
but they don't understand that every reaction is going to
receive an equal or negative.
Every action is going to receive an equal or negative reaction.
Opposite, not negative.
So if Opesta is going to fucking take a shot at me,
then I go boom and I fight back.
You see?
There it is.
Newton started with our motion.
Boom.
You see?
Do I have to?
I like how he just illustrated he's a punching bag.
See, you hit me. Real genius, Chad. Do I have to? I like how he just illustrated he's a punching bag.
So you hit me.
Genius, John.
We both wobbled, but...
I make myself laugh sometimes, I'm sorry.
Really? I thought it was the other shows that made themselves laugh and laughed at their own jokes.
Wait, John does that too?
Oh, okay, cool.
Why didn't you go to the top 10 college?
It's good that somebody laughs at them.
Okay, now what?
Someone has to, yes.
So again, I'm sorry, Skippy,
but this is the kind of thing that irritates me,
and maybe this is the former school teacher in me.
Or maybe this is the mensome mind of, you know.
Or the Uber driver.
But let me explain.
So everybody here could watch me undress you.
To give me a...
Hot, ew.
Nothing.
I almost made that the.
The game.
That.
King.
But thank you for.
I just realized that when you think about the different levels
or the different parts of comedy and rank them,
Kara Top is higher ranked than what Southern John is doing.
This is more embarrassing than Prop.
Oh, my.
Fucking mascara tattooed to his face,
plastic surgery, stretch mask,
like an alien carrot top over this, yes.
A mime is a more dignified,
professional show business than what John is doing.
Did I go too far?
I'm gonna go too far.
No, no, definitely, I agree.
Give carrot top a chance.
Why didn't you go to top ten college
Oh, did you go to see carrot top when you were in Vegas recently? I didn't but he's not as bad as
Prop comedy would it's dude. How about this? How about this friend and so John? I take Jeff Dunham. Oh
I take Jeff Dunham
I know someone who would agree with that I do too too difficult now skip you. I want you to think
What's the major problem with this broken sentence? What is the major problem?
It's a $2 super chat.
You only have so many fucking characters, John.
Just answer the question.
Let me tell you.
If it's too difficult, it would be too T-O-O. You see, it would be too difficult. T-O-O. You
understand? Thank you.
It just dawned on me what a loser he is for that it is so easy this is too easy
TOO
This is too easy
TOO
Oh
Simon is too long. Maybe I should call this show
What did John say next? Here are your choices.
Number one, tutoring with Stuttering John.
B, the three Rs.
Next, English for the dabbleverse.
Four, fucking Vince. Lastly, Mr. Melendez Neighborhood.
Lastly, two, shit.
Topoque, a dabbler.
Six options this time.
Okay, so I have a guess on this one.
It's probably going to be wrong, but I bet someone knocks on the door right here.
He's going through his little lesson plan and he's probably gonna be wrong. But I bet someone knocks out the door right here is just going through his little lesson
plan. And he's like, fucking Vince. So I'm gonna go for fucking
visit anything, Vinny.
It's either going to be shit or tutoring with Stuttery John,
because that just sounds like some
two to two clever.
It's too clever. But yeah, all right, I'll go on. I'll take one.
I'll go on tutoring I'll take one. You want one tutoring? All right, uh, Andy
Hmm
Just pick yeah
Unwatchable garbage, but I'll go with the last two shit. All right shit and then Andy. What do you think?
Next English for dabble verse. Okay, I like that and producer Chris. I went with for fucking Vince fucking Vince. All right
I am look maybe I should call this show
To you know
Tutoring with Stuttering
You're the one who made a clever you're right
Language
Skull the Cardiff
You know if John would like if Joe would read his own emails and correct them that would be fun to watch
How much shit did he just knock over?
No one of those cats don't come around the fucking cats
It's not a big place. No.
They hide under the bed for a reason.
But the scent is dense.
Yes, Skull.
These are going down good today.
That's all for this time.
Come back next time to find out if it is too
TOO difficult to poke a dabbler.
Subreddit surfing live Saturday March the 9th comedy at the
Carlson in Rochester, New York. Get your tickets now at
Carlson comedy.com. Sit Eugene, sit. Good dog.
Yeah, we just added to the show. Don't talk over the...
Don't talk over the...
Don't talk over the...
Have you ever watched our show before?
Yeah, I forgot about the...
Don't worry, I can do it live.
All right, please.
I was just gonna say we added that one girl and her sister-in-law to do...
Am I the asshole
So get your tickets everybody's great
Guys, what have we done today? We've done it all we talked about parenting podcasts
We went through some cringes of the weeks who are these broadcasters watch them during the Cerebral halftime show
Don't watch usher. Watch the broadcast.
Gonna have Cardiff Electric on it, Lucy Typebox.
Of course, EZ and Christian Blyat will be on there.
We talked about Ethan Ralph.
We talked about Rock Bottom Podcast and Ray DeVito,
Christine Nolten, Stuttering John, Kevin Brennan.
You know what that means,
that for everyone who's here, part of the show.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
The teaser.
This is the part of the show we play
coming to the podcast,
and we'll be reviewing on the next episode
of Who Are These Podcasts.
I'm happy to say Pat Oates is coming back on the show.
And we'll be looking into this.
Hello everyone, welcome back to Hotter Ones.
I'm your host Ashley Matheson.
And today I have a very, very special guest who I am very excited about.
Miss Stella, come on out.
This is my clap.
Blow your nose.
All right, Stella.
Thanks for having me.
Oh, thank you for being on.
Honestly, I feel like you are the person who have been most excited to have on.
Really?
Since I've started doing this.
All right, getting right into it.
Give me the rundown.
Who are you, where from, what you do?
So my name's Stella Berry, but I go by anal princess.
So it's actually, I didn't always go by anal princess.
It's only been like the last year and a half or so,
because of my Instagram account.
But yeah, I do a lot of anal porn.
No, I was just saying she had to go by anal.
That's not it.
I love that.
Where did, where did anal princess come from? Is that just cause you like to do a lot of stuff? I was just saying she had to go by A. I love that. Where did anal princess come from?
Is that just because you like to do a lot of stuff?
I was getting banned so much.
So I've been doing this about three years.
Yeah, right.
That's how that works. You know what I'm saying?
It's a lot of succession.
This is a show that's called Hotter Ones.
A suggestion from Ted Bundy and our Discord server.
I don't think the real one.
Maybe. could be.
And so it's another OnlyFansGirl podcast
where the girls get out and talk about things
they'll soon regret as we've seen from Water Rows.
Yeah.
I think you're going to need me to send this to you.
How stupid.
Please do.
Yes, the Drop King, everybody.
The Adel Princess of the Drop King. The second have the anal princess of the drop King the second
I heard that was that girl's nickname all I could think was why didn't you put a towel down?
There goes that couch. Oh, the anal princess is here great
And you're on the all apologies podcast yes, thank you
We just did Jimmy Kimmel and it was a lot of fun because he has a lot to apologize for and the whole fallout with Aaron
Rogers is very fascinating and
Apologize for that. No, but he was on Pat McPhee show and Pat McPhee apologized for
the fighting all the time and
Then we are bonus episode on patreon for just $5 you go to all apologies podcast find the content every week. We round up the Instagram content. We talked about Justin Timberlake
and Britney Spears and John Anik shitting on the MMA fans and Beyonce Knowles mom shitting
on Janet Jackson. So find that at allapologiespodcast.com please.
Very good. And Vinnie Paulino You host podcasts I do I host three of them and that mean let me name them now
There is the creep off with you Carl every Monday one with bonus episodes this week will be talking about Vince McMahon shitting on a girl's head sweet
Hall of Fame that's right
And then I also host a show called Subreddits serving with Carter on Monday nights. And then I also host a little show called The Carlson Cast.
I just did episodes the last two weeks.
I had Kyle Kanane in and I had David Lucas from Kill Tony on.
It was a lot of fun.
Very good.
And Annie, you have a show as well.
Yes.
We've been doing the Batman games.
We're currently doing Arkham Knight for the next episode.
And as always, you can find us on YouTube.com slash at WITGS.
Now, I apologize.
I have to skip the review segment of the show because we only have so much time
before I have to do another podcast.
So let's run through some voicemails.
Of course, we were off this past weekend.
So we got to get caught up here.
Hey, Carl, Gary and San Diego. Well, there used to be two
things you could count on. Death and taxes. Now I'd like to
add a third. The third is eventually everyone with trash
stuttering John. Are you with me on that? Anyway, rock and roll.
I think he might be out of something with that. Did you want us all to go? Oh, yeah.
Brilliant observation. When I liked about that call, 25 seconds.
Yes. I liked it. Very good. Very good. Very favorite part of it. Thank you.
Hey, I'm calling about the win a chance to get Kendi pregnant contest. My name is Grant Leahy.
I'm six foot two, about 185 pounds,
pure muscle, just a strobing fucking heart on
that wants to get a chance to get you pregnant.
So yeah, I'll see you in, oh shit,
you're not coming to the floor to show.
Well, I guess, I don't know,
I'll get you pregnant some other time.
Talk to you later, Kendi.
I think Kendi's coming to Rochester though on March 9th.
That's what she says.
I believe she says she's coming to that stuff.
If you want to knock her up, you're a good friend.
Yeah.
Give me that cap.
You're not using that.
Give me that.
Everybody leave Kendi the fuck alone at the live show.
That's all Grant Layhiz.
Hey, Carl. It's Gav in Santon and I'm calling with another Vic update, which I know you don't usually play because my jokes aren't funny and I suck. But it may interest you to know that her and her husband, Mr Vic, as he was christened,
oddly, talk about nominative determinism, hey?
Well, they joined an amateur, local amateur cinematography group, mostly male, you know,
but they do some really good work actually, have really high production values because
they have quite a selection of high-grade equipment and Vic in her directorial debut found that with the right grip she could keep
them shooting all afternoon.
Pause for laughter.
Okay, fuck you, Carl.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Listen, shut up for a second.
Dared me to play any one. He went that round.
Carl, you could be wrong about what that takes, you know, be uninformed about like music,
movies, history, politics, religious...
Oh, thank you. Fingerprints. Appreciate it.
But look, one thing, man, do this one thing more for me. I've heard you say this like 20 times.
Do five minutes of research on Michael Jackson. Look, dude, everyone else was duped by the media in the 90s and 2000s. There was a lot of money on getting this guilty verdict. It was all over
the press. Look, we have all the evidence now. Again, five minutes of research.
This guy is completely innocent.
It makes you look like an idiot.
I don't think the MJ jokes,
I think those are still funny, you know, but.
Few.
Like actually following that up with like,
oh yeah, dude, he was an actual an actual puddle ball. No no man
You're you look you look uninformed
All right
So dick Masterson has said the same thing many times
Yeah, now there's a doc that came out where two of the kids talked about how he licked their assholes
And stuck his penis in one of them. Yeah, but he also built an amusement park
Had a bedroom with an alarm system on it in
case any adults showed up.
He would know before they ever got close to the bed.
He had 12 year old sleep in his bed with him that he admitted to.
He's like, I think it's great when little kids are in my bed with me and you're telling
me that I'm the idiot.
Yeah.
Maybe you're right.
I don't know.
That's what the lame stream media wants you to think, Carl.
I mean, quacks like a duck, right? This guy built a fucking amusement park
Well, that's why the only jokes I make about Michael Jackson is how he got caught on fire during the Pepsi commercial
That's true. That was a funny thing. Yeah, they put him out with Mountain Dew. I heard
It's me so Pope Poco
Hey, I just wanted to say that Lucy brought in that BDSM
podcast and they talk slower than me. I listened at 1.5 speed and I stopped my podcast with
broken many times. Good job, Lucy. You win this week and not because of your kids,
this week and not because of your kids, but because of the slow podcast. Love you. Bye bye. All right. So slow poke Paco like slow podcasts. I don't. But okay.
Check some. Hey, Carl's Ronnie and Syracuse. Two things. I want to say about this whole
Kate Meany thing with John just crapping all over her. If nothing else, he's supposed
to be. We call it too easy. Manning. I can give it up for being a man over comedian. I guess
not up and coming. Um, and he should have some respect for Kevin Meany. Um, I mean,
he seemed like a guy that everybody liked and nobody had anything bad to say about
the guy. So if nothing else had a respect for Kevin Meany, he shouldn't be just saying all the
stuff about Kate, but that's all, you know, what can you do?
John's just a real piece of crap.
And then the other thing is, I don't think Annie is getting enough love.
This person, Annie comes to work all the time on time, smiling, she's ready, she's doing
the job, and she's the best review girl that you have.
And you guys should be giving her a lot more praise.
I mean, these other ones here, Nat, Matt, Annie's the one.
Don't call me back.
All right.
Thank you, Rodney and Syracuse, for that note.
And the other ones get wage capped a lot.
That's true.
Yes.
That's a good point.
You are always here on Wednesdays, ready to go.
You watch the whole show with us.
You come on. You're ready. What was the first point he go. You watch the whole show with us. You come on, you're ready.
What was the first point he made?
Oh, the Kate Meany thing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She was gracious enough to say she very much enjoys when we shit on John. So Kate, I appreciate that.
We're here for you.
No, I appreciate the fact that I can say that she's dull and duller and has zero personality.
So goes, yeah, but I like the way she is on John.
So props to you, Kate.
I appreciate that.
How stupid.
The fuck, Carl?
No, Capitography World Order.
Capitography World Order. The fuck Carl? No, Cal photographer world order. Cal photographer world order.
CP, wait, hold on, maybe that does sound pretty bad.
Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that.
Be a ship, back.
Or, hi, Lucy.
Good call.
That's why I didn't get made.
All right, Carl. I finally figured out why you started frosting your tip.
To divert our attention with that fucking beak
you got underneath those glasses.
Holy shit, Carl.
No wonder why you don't believe in God.
He cursed you.
I never noticed.
But he's right.
He's a fucking big hunker.
Holy shit, German.
I understand.
I mean, Carl, I understand you're German and air is free,
but holy shit, get that sex.
I understand you're German and air is free. Is that shit. Get that sex. I understand you're German and air is free.
Is that a Jewish joke that he fucked up?
Might have been.
Yeah, OK.
Get that fix.
I got to go get a nose job now because I'm a random voicemail.
Add it to the list. Jesus.
What is your stylist's thing?
My stylist is doing very good work,
but I don't enjoy you making fun of him or her.
Them. Yeah, I're so proud of you.
Talk. You know, could you imagine?
So John's been calling out Kevin Brennan because he's like, sure, he made
hundreds of thousands of dollars, but he's paying out Adam Hinnick.
This amount of money is paying his guest that amount of money.
And I can just see John being like, yeah, Carl's doing well,
but he ain't gonna get a nose job. He ain't gonna get his teeth fixed.
The tips. Don't forget the tips.
He ain't gonna get his teeth fixed. The tips. Don't forget the tips.
He's going to get his tips frosted.
It's a lot to maintain.
I'm in the red. Holy shit.
Yeah, what's so proud of this taco?
What the fuck are your frosted tips?
Huh? Where are they?
They're coming.
All right, man. I'll see you guys later.
Shout out to your Frosted Tips.
Bye.
All right.
Shout out to the good old Frosted Tips that we have.
Frost, Frost, Frosted Tips World Order FTWO.
You think that's getting old, Cardiff?
Yes.
I don't even play mine anymore.
That's too bad.
Tarle, I just listened to your best of clubby and friends show.
Stuttering John is like a different person, and I know that's been said before, but that
guy sounds like two different people, and I swear to God, I'm going to cut down on my
drinking after hearing that. I'm not going to quit because no one likes to quit her, but I'm going to cut down on my drinking after hearing that.
I'm not going to quit because no one likes a quitter, but I'm going to cut it down.
I also have to say you should move off of the Stuttering John stuff.
As a farmer out of Navarino, I know that my buddy Carl could be a way bigger star than
the Stuttering John stuff. I think there's bigger and better things in
the world for Uncle Carl and his marketing genius. So there's my vote. Move away from
stuttering John stuff. Find another LawlCow. I know you can. And go fuck yourself for...
Have a good night. Something like that.
Thank you very much. And I'm just waiting for Brennan job and Leslie Jones to start a show together
Oh, and then we'll move on from Stuttering John
We'll have all new gimmick over here, but I would win in a fight. I was just thinking that
Oh, great seems here only that
Yes, that's it great Great. See, perfect.
Let's be learning. That was great.
Phenomenon. Perfect call.
Play Carl's boy from dirty Jersey. Who are these marketers?
W. A. T. M. Only on the car on that work.
My name is Orlando and I live living with HIV from taking cox
into ass and swallowing. And there's a new medicine, Faganuva. Now, when I have people
over, HIV medicine ain't on my mind to set white guys cocked. You also mentioned Lily
from AT&T with the great jugs. Google her AT&T Lily porn audition.
It may or may not be her, but it's her twin sister.
Thank you for a few vines.
That's why I played that voice spell.
That's very good information.
We should all need to go Google and find out more about.
Thank you for that.
Yeah.
Not for the medical advice.
No, medical advice was not great,
but that second part was good. All right. Last voice now
Hey guys
Justing fireman Fred from San Francisco here
I'd like to enter Andy or the contest to date Andy at least
I'd like to take him on a nice date to remind him of better times
We'd go to a pilot station, get some subway and beef jerky, strangle a
lot lizard together, and just see where the night takes us. Please call me. Stop dropping
Rolla.
I really wish you would get back in the trucking. Those lot lizards are just piling up everywhere,
dude. They're breeding or something. They're all over the place.
We need you back there.
I know they keep surviving.
Keep the population down, Andy.
All right, guys, thank you so much for coming on.
And we'll see you this weekend with Pat Oates
for our big Super Bowl special.
Yeah.
Right?
No, I guess we're just going to talk about only fans.
Now, I'm not saying who said it's coming back, but if it does come back,
it'll only be for Wednesdays when you have the people that know the backstory to all those characters.
That's true.
Okay.
Because yeah, that's why I used to get annoyed with who said it when you'd have like a
guest on that had no idea who any of these people were.
So that's a good point.
Yes, Pat probably is not following all of the war.
No.
That he would need for that. Errr fuck? Why is this over-modulated?
What's going on?
It wasn't.
Yeah, that was super loud.
You need proper modulation.
All right, I really get to run.
Enjoy your two-minute break, Carl.
Yeah.
All right.
Enjoy Bobo.
This must be a bad practice.
All right, see you.
Bye, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.