Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep492 - Hotter Ones
Episode Date: February 11, 2024This week we’re checking out another podcast where OnlyFans girls talk about how slutty they are… with sexy results. The Anal Princess tells us all about her origin story - from pre-med at UCLA to... dropping out in order to take it in the dirt star from a homeless guy. It’s a tale as old as time. Unfortunately Pat Oates had to call in sick but Cardiff Electric stepped up and filled in for him on this episode. After we learn about the dangers of ATM with other people’s butt plugs, we move on to something else that’s shitty, Tom Myers’ comedy. Then we get caught up on the first half of Stuttering John’s journey to Atlantic City. Things have not started out well for John - his flight was cancelled, VTL played his private voicemail on the BS Show, he ran to security at the casino when confronting Patrick Melton, and that’s just the beginning. Finally, Kindy joins us as we catch an alien, read recent reviews, and get caught up on your voicemails. Tickets to the live show in Florida on March 22nd! – http://watplive.com Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st - June 2nd - https://www.hackamania.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@cardiffelectric Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I'm Rob Gronkowski and last year I missed a fan duel kick of Destiny during the Super Bowl
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Hi, guys.
I am the Duke of the Devil.
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Episode 4!
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Mental illness can literally drive you crazy.
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Slapperooni.
It's showtime.
W. A. T. P. W. A. T. P. Hello, Ruben X. Cousin Ruz and Bagnappers. Welcome to another episode of Worthy's Podcast,
the only show that would never get between Melton and John just for the smell alone
I'm your host Carl with me today
Filling in at the last minute for a sick pat oats Cardiff electric is here everybody
It's happening Cardiff. Hey, I think that's the first time I ever got to actually legitimately do a WATP
I think so too. Do you almost fucked it up?
I thought Chris was going to go.
No, I never do it.
Chris never does it.
Well, no, no, we don't like to.
I don't watch a show.
What do I know?
If we let him do it, then I have to pay him more money.
That's in the contract.
You get a bump as soon as you're one of the WATP guys.
It's 10 bucks a letter.
It's a big deal.
It's a real big deal.
W.
So, Karita, thank you so much for filling in.
For Pat O to message me
right before the show. He's having allergy attacks. He was going to be coughing and sneezing.
I'm like, all right, we probably better to not have that.
Carl, you sent me the two things I needed to notice to make a quick decision. Paddowt
sick and anal podcasts. Yes. All right. So, so Karina's like, you know what? My kids need
me, but fuck it. Yeah, take one for the team. Let's go.
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here ready to read some reviews for us later on in the show.
But first, we'll be reviewing hotter ones. This was a
suggestion from Ted Bundy in the discord. Some of us have
listened to it probably. Some of us have watched it. We're
about ready to discuss it for the first time right now.
Let's get into it.
It's a show hosted by Ashley Matheson.
Matheson sounds like Ashley Madison, which probably
sucked for a while for her.
But Ashley Matheson and the guest on the show
was Stella Berry, AKA the anal princess.
Now, I'm going to start off with a clip of how these things go when they
start and I'm very upset about this because we have a real problem in this
country in the United States of America with censorship.
And it really grinds my gears.
The way that the social media platforms are just removing people's accounts.
Oh God, I've had so many Instagrams deleted.
I've had Twitter accounts deleted. I've had so many Instagrams deleted. I've had Twitter accounts deleted.
I've had so many TikToks deleted.
Damn, what you do to get a Twitter account deleted?
Not even anything, well, sort of, but I just put a...
a lot of people don't know this,
but you can't put anything like even wearing a bikini
in the header of your Twitter profile.
Oh. It's like, I was wearing a bikini
in my Twitter header, and they said it was like,
sexual solicitation or something.
Hold on a second, you can't sell your body on Twitter now? Is that the case? What the...
Let's start.
Yeah, what is that? What the what? This is ridiculous. I feel for these ladies. This is
unculled for. If they want to take their clothes off on Twitter, I'd say it's okay.
Yeah, why not?
Give them a pass on that.
Well, I mean, her explanation was it's only in your header.
You could put it everywhere else on your Twitter, just not in your header.
Just not in your header for some reason, it makes no sense.
Okay.
Keeping classy.
Let's get into the good stuff because we're talking to, like I said, the anal princess.
Are you familiar with Ashley's work at all, producer Chris or Cardiff?
I am not.
No, I'm not.
I hope she's okay with what. What her father's going through
in England right now. Well, yeah, so I sounds like you are very
familiar. That's hilarious. I'm sure we can all do research
into the facts, but let's start off. Let's get right into the
good stuff. No, I was implying the king's in the hospital and
she's the princess. The anal. Yeah, never mind. Oh, kind of
topical. I'm sorry. The only reason why I fucked. I thought you're saying something else is because she went to school in London. Oh
It's very possible her father still lives. I was with you
I thought card actually knew the whole backstory on this broad. No, I just imply that her father is King Charles
She's a princess explain it one more time and that I'll A father usually has a daughter who becomes a princess to joke.
So it starts out with some very spicy talk about sex.
These are two girls who are in porn, have only fans accounts.
So let's get right into it.
I've just always loved school.
What were you at school for?
I was doing, so I made my own major at NYU in health policy.
So I combined, like they have this program there at Gallatin.
It's called the school there where you can make your own major
and you can pick any classes you want in any of the schools
as long as you every term like write an essay
about what you're doing and justify basically your choices.
So I was combining philosophy classes, which I love philosophy
and like ethics and civics and history
and medical history specifically.
When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?
This show needs a male producer to step in and go,
we gotta stop talking about what she majored in
and where she went to college.
Like no one gives a fuck.
Did she just say she just built her own degree at NYU?
She just took whatever she wanted.
Yes, she created her own major.
Yes, it's very easy apparently according to her.
This is like letting children make their own pizza.
I want M&M's on mine.
All right, your pizza.
Go for it.
Congratulations.
Actually, that would be pretty good
now that I think about it.
All right, so this is probably, I think, the best commercial for UCLA you'll ever see.
In fact, if UCLA was smart, they would run this during college football games.
They're crazy to not use this.
And I did two years at UCLA doing all of my pre-med classes.
And that is when I started, like, going out again because I started meeting girls in my classes
that were inviting me to sex parties
and like all these things in LA.
Like for some reason there were just some sexual ass girls
in my classes at UCLA.
You know, I was thinking about going back to school.
Honestly, I don't know if this podcast thing's gonna work out.
You know, the shooting hours going down,
I probably next should probably head out west.
Check it out there.
Sure, they'll be lining up to invite a clubfooted
snagled tooth to their sex parties.
Who invited this ass on to the show today?
I don't have a kidney.
I'm kind of saying, wow, this is getting very insulting.
Chris has a shot, but.
All right, Chris, are you going to premed with me?
No, I can't handle the rejection.
All right. The pandemic changed all of our lives, obviously the lockdowns changed our lifestyles for me.
It kind of pushed me into podcasting full time.
I know producer Chris's life changed.
And here we see that the same thing happened to Stella.
The same time I was working at a homeless shelter
for veterans as like my pre-med school work
or like for part of my resume.
And I ended up fucking one of the clients
that I had like a six month long sexual tension
like romance with.
And that's when I lost my anal virginity.
And then I did anal every day for a year before COVID hit.
And then when COVID hit, I think I started to go crazy,
like not going to school, just being fully isolated
with this homeless guy doing a lot of anal.
So I started sharing about it on TikTok,
like hoping no one would find it.
But of course it blew up.
And those were the days where you could literally like say
anal and asshole and everything on TikTok
and you wouldn't get banned.
I do admire her work ethic.
I know.
She went, life gives you lemons.
She figured it out.
Shove them up your ass.
She figured it out.
So it's a good for her.
So she met this homeless guy.
She was volunteering at this halfway house thing.
And there's this homeless guy.
We're going to find out more about him.
And they start dating.
And this guy introduced her to anal sex.
And she became a big fan very quickly.
So she started tick totocking about it.
We'll learn more about that in a little bit.
But the real question is, it's always, this is always the question you ask a porn star
and only fans girl, how are your parents with us?
They cool?
Is this, I mean, you were a pre-med student.
I got to imagine they had expectations for you.
Her mom's a doctor.
So let's see what they think.
So what do your parents think of your career?
Like are they well informed on what you do?
Yeah, my parents have always just like as cliche
as it sounds, wanted to see me happy.
Yeah.
Like always I have the best parents ever.
I love my parents, especially my mom.
Like my dad's very checked out.
He's never given up fuck.
Like my dad was the one taking me clubbing
like 14 years old. Like he's just like, let's do your thing. He's never given up fuck. Like my dad was the one taking me clubbing like 14 years old.
Like he's just like, let's do your thing.
So you just heard her say,
my parents just want me to be happy.
They are pretty cool with whatever I decided to do with my life.
And then not 30 seconds later, she says this.
But at that point it was like,
she thought I went fucking crazy
and she thought I was having a psychotic break
and like was too stressed out
and and that was like making rash decisions and thought I needed to go to a mental hospital
So we're actually with the way her mom took it was thinking that she was losing her mind and needed to go to a mental hospital
When she said I'm quitting med school and I'm going into porn because I just love anal so much
I can't get enough dicks of my body. You do look happy in the movies
But I'm all better now the winning formula for going into porn is not what I thought it was because when I think of like my
Favorite charity of course boob jobs for runaways when I think of what brings people into porn
It's it's not this
Yeah, and I honestly don't think I would have done this or been confident enough to like create my own kind of value system and be confident in it and not give a fuck like get over the kind of
Stigma that's put on this if I hadn't had really supported let loving unconditional loving parents growing up
Is that usually what porn stars have is?
Unconditionally loving parents growing up and I family that stays together. Really. I'm naive. I thought it was drug addiction
Yeah, I could have sworn it was like an absent father,
drug addiction, single moms.
Huh.
All right.
Well, news to me.
They're very supportive.
All right.
Yeah.
So let's find out.
This is actually after they start talking about it,
they keep contradicting themselves.
This is actually the real winning formula
to becoming an only fans girl.
You definitely have to have some sort of,
like really sexual experience gone wrong
to have a level of comfort with that part of your sexuality.
Literally, like you've had to like explore that for a while.
Yeah, you've had to have hit rock bottom.
Like this, what I'm doing is not rock bottom.
We're at the top right now.
Yeah, no, literally.
Go back to what we were talking about.
So a traumatic sexual experience or two is one time saying, okay,
that makes a little more sense. Getting raped when you're eight. Okay.
Yeah. Now it's making sense to me.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
It's a bit of a bummer, but listen, do we want to know these girls back
stories? No. Why do shows like this exist? I am happy to say this show
only has hundreds of views. It's a newer podcast, maybe it'll catch on.
There's attractive girls on here talking about sex eventually.
So maybe, you know, the Gavin Michael
Ali's of the world will get into it, or Michael Gavin Ali,
I should say, sorry.
You imagine if porn stars had like baseball cards,
you read their biography on the back.
Oh, god, yeah, there's stats.
There's life story.
There's stats like, holy shit, she took eight or 300 times in 2008.
What a great average.
That's impressive.
All the famed uppers she's put up.
I got to see if those.
Yeah, they probably do, actually.
All right.
This is where things get a little nuts from my perspective.
To your mom's at OBGYN.
Is she your OBGYN?
She is my OBGYN and all my friends.
Is that normal? Is she saying all my friends are also?
I think her mom is the OBGYN to the porn stars.
But is that normal for a mom to be the daughter's doctor in that way?
I guess it's better than the dad.
Okay, well, you brought up a very good point right now.
I guess I'll get off it.
Seems a little crazy.
I hope, I hope Kendi's writing down notes.
I got a lot of questions for her.
She feels about some of these things.
And this is another question I have.
So is she a good doctor?
Because Stella claims she's a very good doctor,
but this seems weird to me.
So she only takes cash.
So she, she doesn't take insurance. So she meets all her patients for like an hour and a half every time which insurance only pays for
15 minutes with a doctor so already that's like something so rare and hard to find and on top of that
She's just really smart and detail oriented and
But is a doctor that doesn't take insurance that's a good thing is that a positive thing?
Sounds like she also doesn't have an office or something.
Yeah, right.
Just makes house calls.
Back of a nail salon.
Meet you in the yard.
I just thought that was odd.
She goes, I'm on wood to take insurance,
but the rules are strict.
You can't meet with a patient for more than 15 minutes.
Well, you can just lie about how long you met with them
if you want to play that route.
And I feel like you'll use their fucking shirts.
No, no, no, pay cash.
Okay.
My mom is a, my mom is a pre-licensed gynecologist.
Yes.
Right.
Seems like, uh, you know, the, you know, the back alley kind, but pretty inexpensive.
So there's that.
Her mom is definitely the best.
Like she's put in and taken out my last six IUDs.
Period. Yeah. She's just, she's the best and taken out my last six IUDs. Period. Yeah, she's just she's the best.
I'm sorry.
Is there anyone else having a hard time with this?
Am I the only one that thinks it's a little weird?
I feel like you guys are just kind of like, yeah.
I'm a little numb to it.
It's a lot at once.
It's a lot going on, right?
Yeah, that's not surprising me, but no, I get what you see here. Okay. I'm saying this is nuts.
All right. Palette cleanser. This is a weird edit.
This is this actually happens in the show right here.
Right over the community guidelines.
Exactly.
Too many times. Yeah.
So before couple of times, couple of times, what was all?
I didn't do that.
Yeah. That was very odd.
It was a pretty well produced show
Looks like a nice home that she has there
The couches must be brand new because there's no stains out it whatsoever. That's impressive. I look for right so alright
here is The fact that Stella, you know, she's the anal princess right now and she knows she's not gonna do that forever
But she has a plan and I always appreciate that.
I've grown a following that I can monetize in a billion different ways.
If I choose to, like I always told myself that too.
I'm like, at this point, I'm just trying to grow followers because
you can kind of monetize followers like however.
So that's actually, um, not true.
I'm going to call bullshit on that.
I'm going to tell you style of your listening.
Uh, if people follow you because they like it when you take penises in your butthole,
when you start reading books to them or changing up your content,
you're probably not going to be fans anymore.
I like that she just thinks like, well, now I just have all these fans.
I can just do whatever I want.
They're just going to throw money at me.
Loyal forever.
Yeah, no.
I don't think she has billions of options.
She might have three options.
There might be about three options. Yeah, so they all involve sex work.
But good for her though. She feels very good about herself. She's making a lot of money.
She's doing well. She's got a huge following going on. And she's so thankful for the homeless guy
who taught her her love of butt sex. Because if not for that, she might be like a doctor or something.
Now, I just picture this giant cardboard box rocking bag before the sex noise coming out of it.
I probably if I hadn't like fucked that homeless client who is now like my ex-boyfriend that we did it three years and like he's I film with him all the time.
And she's like my partner. Yeah. I probably wouldn't have had this moment
where I wanted to like throw it all away
and I would have just stuck with the route I was on
which still would have been great.
I just think I would have maybe not been as fulfilled
or as proud of myself at this point
and I definitely would have been way more in debt
and like worked to the bone.
Oh yeah, I'm sure that if you were a surgeon
you'd definitely not have this kind of pride
and self-esteem
that you have going right now.
Thank goodness for that homeless guy who fucked you in the ass.
Also, of the things that her dad might be upset about, we're going to talk more about
her dad.
I think that she reveals some things that let you know the real truth of what's going
on.
Of the things that would upset a father, I got to think having a homeless boyfriend
with a asshole fetish might be as bad as starting
an oldie fans account.
Right.
Maybe worse.
She brings him over to dinner.
So what are you into?
Your daughter.
Yeah.
Watch.
And at this point, the guy's doing better.
He's he must be like, look, when you're talking about it, can you please stop bringing up homeless?
Yeah, right.
Yeah. I was down to my luck, okay?
Well, she goes into all of that.
Let's find out more about her homeless ex-boyfriend,
who by the way she just broke up with
a couple of months ago.
So they're still very friendly, still have a relationship.
It feels like fate brought us together.
Like there was just something telling me I had to do it,
which made no sense.
Like he was literally bipolar, manic,
and living out of his car.
And for some reason I was like, this man is magical.
Like I need to hang out with him.
Even though I'm like, I'm risking my job.
Like I'm risking everything.
You just sound like a girl.
Yeah, I was just like, I just have to fucking do this.
And now it's like the best thing I ever did.
That bipolar manic homeless guy who's also an alcoholic,
the best thing I ever did was hook it up with him
That was a really smart move. So there's hope for us all
Well, that's the fact I think that's what she's trying to give her her audience is some hope if I'm better than that guy
Yes, in fact, she tells a story. I didn't clip this but she tells a story about how she fucked her dad's best friend and
The guy was 58, she was 21.
And I heard that and I went,
Stuttering John, there is hope for you buddy.
Yeah, maybe not Kate Meanie.
I gotta meet her dad.
I wanna be friends with him.
Yeah, right.
Hey, by the way, me and your dad hit an off last night.
We're still talking about this homeless guy,
the ex-boyfriend and what he's up to
and how she is now his sugar mama.
Live, like I pay for his rent,
I pay for everything he needs,
but also like stipulations of that are he stays sober,
he smokes weed, but that's, he loves that,
but he's sober from alcohol for, I think, five years now.
Good friend.
And so as long as he stays sober and takes his meds,
and works with his psychiatrist, and goes to therapy,
and goes to his workouts
five days a week, we're good.
Like he has his freedom.
That's so kind of you.
Honey, we're through.
Does that sound like freedom?
As long as he does that.
So then he does that.
And then does this thing and then that thing
and he has to do it every fucking day.
And if he doesn't, he's out.
But other than that, total freedom.
It's great.
One of my hobbies is not working out.
I thought that was kind of interesting.
So, so now he lives with her or she bought a house for him.
I think she lives in a two.
And so the arrangement is you have to stay on your med, see a psychiatrist,
not drink, work out every single day.
I mean, all of these things are shit.
I would never do.
I'm saying no to all of these things, but whatever.
Oh, do I still get the fucking in the ass?
No, I have a new boyfriend now
Oh, what the fuck am I doing? I had a nice guy. I was living in a car, but it was a nice car
Yeah, I mean front seat anabax
Four doors I
Parted in a gated community, so I got that going for me
Now if you didn't think that this was a bad idea from what I've already presented to you,
then I think this is what's going to put it over the top
for everyone, paying attention.
Us meeting and just our relationship
is the most beautiful thing in the world.
And he has a giant tattoo of you, right?
Yeah, also, I literally did a shoot with Riley Reed recently.
And it was a full day thing.
I come home at 2 AM, and he And he's like hey look what I did today
And it's my face on his arm. Oh, that's kind of sick
I'd be like
Mom he has his mom who who passed a couple years ago on one shoulder, and then he has me on the other shoulder
It's so cute. That's so disturbing and I want to point out he did this after they broke up
So cute. That's so disturbing. And I want to point out he did this after they broke up.
So it's still like, isn't that sweet?
Isn't that such a nice gesture?
Like one for the Z Hills.
What are you doing? Yeah.
And by the way, you might have stopped
doing one of the things on your list.
You're right. Where'd you get that 500 bucks to do that?
Holy sure. She paid for it.
So she put a tic-tac out about it.
I thought I'd show everybody what this tattoo looks like.
It's not flattering.
She's an attractive girl, but that tattoo, yikes.
Yikes.
Okay.
All right, well, she got famous from TikTok
as she alluded to earlier
because she started enjoying anal.
And she go on TikTok and talk about anal.
And she came up with this joke.
And I know Cardiff likes jokes.
This is the first TikTok she ever put out.
And I just shared a TikTok like,
if I had a nickel for every time I lost my anal virginity
in the backseat of a homeless guy's car on the first date,
I'd have one nickel and that blew up so much.
And that was my first TikTok and that blew up so much.
And I was like, fuck, I hope no one sees this.
Like, I hope.
And TikTok was so small at that point.
I was like, no one's going to see this, you know?
First off, TikTok was not small in 2020.
No, that's not true at all.
But also, the idea that she put up there like, yeah, you know,
I fucked a homeless guy in the back of a car
and took Aina for the first time.
No one would think that was real. People would think
that's a joke. Right? Processing. Okay. I mean, if I saw
me, someone took talking about that, I would be like, well,
she must she can't be making that up, obviously. Okay. So
let's talk about how she feels about her porn career. And I do
appreciate her work ethic.
I think she's doing it the right way.
I call this clip, go hard or go home.
Like even if I, cause I knew if I was like,
if I do porn, I'm going to do it to the absolute max.
Like if I'm going to do this,
I'm going to not limit myself at all.
Like I'm going to go hard.
And I was like, even if I only ever make enough money
to pay for food and rent, I'll be happy.
All right. I think that's a lie.
If she's making Ray DeVito money,
she's out of the business.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's no fucking way.
She's making a lot of money on only her.
She at one point said,
when she started making 40,000 a month,
she decided to quit school.
I was like, yeah, it's probably a good time to quit school.
Probably when I'd be like, I don't need this shit.
Are you gonna make that decision a lot earlier than the 40?
Yeah! Probably a 10, yeah, I'd probably be like, okay don't need this shit. Are you going to make that decision a lot earlier than the 40? Yeah, probably a 10.
Yeah, I probably feel like that.
We're good.
It's great.
It's comfy when you can make up your own degree, but.
Well, yeah, that does help.
What kind of doctor are you?
I haven't decided yet.
Let you know tomorrow.
So I do like the idea that she's going to go for it.
She's going to go all the way.
And I do have.
I think this is perfect for WATS.
I know it's kind of sick.
Like I love people that just like embarrass themselves
on social media.
For me, that's my favorite.
Yeah, that is a good idea.
I'm with you on that.
I like people who do that too.
It's impressive.
All right, so here's some more, some fun stuff.
So we're asking about, she's the anal princess.
But what's her preference?
You know, if there's only one dick,
let's say there's a scenario
with only one penis in the room.
All right.
I can't get enough dicks in my body.
Thank you, Cardiff.
Thank you, Kiki Loco.
Oh, that's what that was.
Let's find out the preference here.
Do you prefer anal over like having regular quote, quote sex?
I don't think I prefer it, but it's definitely like tied.
Like I don't prefer one or the other.
There's just pros and cons to both.
Love pussy sex.
Okay.
I love that in there because I've never heard someone call it pussy sex before.
And I did pull this eye so far as
Love pussy sex me too
Yeah pussy sex is pretty good it sounds like I can't get enough dicks of my body. I've heard you say otherwise
I think that was taken out of context that's probably AI Carl the editor created be my guess
Because I just like pussy sex. Well pussy sex guy about the contacts. That's probably AI Carl, the editor created. It'd be my guess.
Because I just like pussy sex.
Well, pussy sex guy.
Sure, can guys offer to theater would be my healing process as well.
There's so much evidence against you.
You coming for this?
This can't be me.
I just sucked off so many dudes.
Is that Rocco?
Rocco's doing that amazing impression of me, isn't he?
No, no.
Sucking dicks.
I can't believe you guys have that many drops in bitties not even here.
Probably got six more.
Well, here we go.
All right.
So you guys ready to get turned off by this girl?
I mean, so far everything she said, you're like, all right, this sounds
exciting, something I'd want to date for sure, right?
That'd be homeless.
For me, like every time I had sex,
since I was 13 years old, like I lost my virginity at 13.
After I had the first sex I ever had in my life,
I got a UTI.
So like I naturally get UTIs every time I have sex.
It's just like genetic, it runs in my family,
all the women in my family are that way.
So I have to take antibiotics every time I have sex.
And when I do anal, love anal.
But are there some things that you do have to worry about because of anal?
Maybe shitting on people sometimes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would be the main one for sure.
So I love that this girl gets a UTI every time she has sex.
There's a specific order you got to go in.
I keep trying to tell the ladies this.
They're not understanding the order, but but I know the order. You got to
know the order. It should be taught. It really should be. So it's almost reverse
alphabetical. This is what you want to do. So it's crazy to me that she's saying
that it's genetic. Almost like John's hemorrhoids now. It's like, well, I mean, obviously,
it's not my lifestyle that I'm getting UTIs every day.
It's just, I mean, this would happen anyway.
This is just what goes on around here.
Yeah, it's the hand I was dealt.
Is that what her mom tells her when she's paying cash
for every fucking appointment?
Yeah, no, you're doing everything right.
I don't know, I just keep getting UTIs.
Well, see you get tomorrow.
Yeah, where was mom to teach the order?
Mom should have taught the order
because this is crazy.
She's talking about asked to mouth.
I know my mother-in-law listens to the show.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Sometimes my folks popping on.
This gets a little nuts.
They know you never go ask to mouth.
They know.
They do know that.
I talked to them about it.
You've been through the war.
Everything's giving.
So she talks about going ATM
and when that can be dangerous for her.
The first time it actually happened,
I realized I get strep from putting other people's,
like if something was in,
like a butt plug was in a girl's butt
and I put it in my mouth, that's when I get strep.
Cause I don't naturally carry strep like in me.
And so like I'd gone ask him out,
like a guy would put his dick in my butt
and then put it in my mouth a billion times.
Like I did that the first night I lost my anal virginity.
She didn't leave.
Wow.
She spent some time in medical school, she said.
Yeah. Oh no. She said,
I cut all this stuff out because it was boring,
but she's been studying the female body
and that's why she went into med school and all the classes she took in college
and everything.
I want to know more about how the body works.
Then she's like, yeah, but when I grab a butt plug out of someone, other girls butt
and shove it in my mouth, I get strapped and it's bad.
Yeah.
I would imagine.
It sounds pretty bad.
But this UTI thing could be genetic.
That might have been what inspired her mother to become a gynecologist.
If she wants to solve this, this was her life's mission.
And now she's fingering porn stars for cash.
So it all worked out.
Yeah. Another success story.
All right.
So now we're talking about asked to mouth and she did ask to mouth their first time and at first you didn't know that you have to like clean out those orifices orifices before you do that.
Now she does know that but it's worked out for so now we're back out the dad again for some reason back into the conversation.
My dad and I don't talk that much actually recently just started talking to him more often. And like I said, he's kind of just a free spirit.
He doesn't give a fuck what I do.
He doesn't talk about a lot of shit with me.
He's just like, talk me off.
So it started with my parents are so nurturing
and caring, they just want me to be happy.
And now we're finding out her dad doesn't talk to her.
They don't even talk.
Cause the question was, is your dad knows
you fucked his friend?
And she's like
Probably the whole town does so I would imagine but we've never talked about it He doesn't talk to me about anything. He's just walking down the street. It was laughing their ass
It was so funny
Oh man
All right, so then the question comes up and I'm sure this is what Cardiff would have asked next
if he was doing the show.
What's something you haven't done that you want to do?
You always want to ask the porn stars who are adventurous.
What else could you be doing that you're not doing today?
This is almost like an interview question.
So is there anything that you haven't done that you want to try?
I did double anal for like 10 seconds recently.
Like I was just doing a DP shoot,
like one in the ass, one in the pussy.
And the guys were like,
hey, like you're doing really good.
Do you want to try like two in the ass?
And so we did just for fun and it worked.
And so now I want to do like a full on like double ass,
double anal shoot.
I also like, I've never put two dicks in my pussy,
which apparently like,
I just like doing that stuff because it is an overwhelming euphoric feeling first off a couple things here
The guy who suggested that we both put our penises in your butt. He's a gay guy, right?
That's a weird thing to want to do. I would imagine I'm with you, but I like his supportive nature
Yeah, you're doing so good. You're doing good. I think you're ready to hop into the next level
You want to try that right now ready kid?
And if she did double Vaj, what kind of UTI would you get then? Oh God could you imagine again with the order even when it's double?
You got to go with the order so
Yeah, one doesn't negate the other. I'm really glad they edit porn videos. I'm glad I'm not seeing these conversations that they're having
Yeah, right. Oh, you're not even crying.
All right. Well, do you want to have both of us in your butt?
Or what else can we do?
Was it ready for this?
All right. So then we start talking about butt plugs
and prepping with butt plugs, whether they prep or not,
very different than the way settering John doesn't prep.
As you know, he's got his underpants there.
Oh, yeah.
To help him out.
They have something else going on.
And the plugs are fun.
I love the butt plug.
And I didn't think like I never used prep
before using but plugs because it's like whatever in it.
Who cares?
But then the vibrated one, I guess,
was doing some gyrating up there.
And when I pulled it out, I was like, what the fuck is this?
Thank God I did this over the fucking toilet.
Dude, I've had some horrible experiences with butt plugs because you're right.
Like why prepare for them?
So Shadow 3x says her ass is a reverse clown car.
I get it.
Yeah.
So I guess, you know, they're like, well, if I'm going to shove something in my
ass, I'm just like by myself, who cares?
We'll just see what happens.
And I guess bad things happened quite a bit with that.
Then they go on a whole story about anal beads,
and she said that her mom's friend had anal beads in a room and they found him
when they were little kids and they were playing with them.
And the mom's friend came in and said, you got to put that down.
Like, what? This is all crazy.
I never played with anal beads growing up.
G.I. Jones. You sound jealous.
I know.
What the fuck?
I don't have these kind of this kind of lifestyle these kids do.
You never know what if they were anal G.I. Joe's.
Well, they were.
I try was done with them.
Cobra.
Why do you think I like that brush?
And so much.
I would just sit there with that with my Cobra commander going.
I would just sit there with that with my Cobra commander going
So the I'm reading through the comments underneath this video like I said, it's not a ton of views
so the people who are finding it are seeking it out and
I loved this one. I've listened to Stella's origin story like five times already on different podcasts lol well
Maybe you should stop watching her being interviewed on podcasts. It's weird. Yeah. Like, if you're a fan of her work, I get it. Sure. However, if you then go, I
want to see what she has to say and what she's like as a
person. You are a lunatic. Yeah. You're the kind of guy that
goes to the bunny ranch for companionship. Yes. You're right.
You're like, Oh, but can we just sit and talk about life
and stuff?
I saw a ball game yesterday.
Same rate, whatever you want.
It was like, yeah.
And there was another comment on here that says,
can you ask questions we don't already know the answers to?
I'm such a fan, I want to hear new content.
So apparently this woman goes around
with her fucking homeless guy taking
my anal virginity story.
Yes. And the fans are like, whatever. No shit Sherlock, we
get it. All right. So that was the show. I hope you guys found
that amusing hotter ones starring Ashley Matheson. And now I've
introduced everyone to Stella
Barry, Barry, something like that, aka the anal princess.
Check out her own. Oh, at the end of the show, they do something
that's actually pretty clever. The marketer and me thought this
was a good move. She starts playing this game where she
goes, Okay, I'm going to start asking you questions. And you
can either answer them or if you don't want to answer them,
you have to take off a piece of clothing.
And the first question was like,
who's your least favorite content creator?
And Stella goes, oh, I'm not answering that.
So the shirt starts coming off
and they're like, see the rest of the video
on onlyfans.com slash.
And I was like, that's smart.
Yeah.
Someone, because trust me,
I would not have watched this entire video
if this was not my job.
Somebody who's actually watching that
till the end probably would want to see
the rest of that video, even though you could find her taking
her clothes off everywhere over the internet, anytime you want.
But that's got a great game plan for Wednesday now. Alright,
nice. Alright, now I know that Cardiff is a big fan of comedy.
And I decided to put this together because I also know that Pat Oates is a comedian
I thought he would enjoy this
But Pat's missing out. We're gonna have all the fun, you know, it's no different than you know
Oh, so running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do
That's right, we're talking about Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. A new episode
dropped just this week. And I'm excited to play for you the monologue jokes as I like
to do because Tom, I don't know how big his writing staff is. I assume it's not the same
level as the Tonight Show. It's probably just him. And he's got to come up with these
jokes in just one week and they got to be topical.
And so he starts off, the setup might be a tad too long on this one, but you guys tell
me.
Hello, and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world.
A lot going on this week, right before we started recording an appeals court ruled that
Donald Trump did not have immunity in his 2020 election interference case. We just want to say a lot of things can happen between now when we're recording
this and when the episode goes out. For example, Trump could appeal to the Supreme Court. The
Supreme Court could refuse to take the case or the lizard form that inhabits Trump's shell
will say fuck it and leave to look for another life form. With Rhonda. Hold on a second.
There's a tag on this one, guys.
So let's let's get the reaction and let's hear the tag with Rhonda
Santas, hoping it's him.
Here's what I love about Tom Myers.
He claims to be very politically savvy.
He has a political show.
He's trying to be Bill Maher.
Bill Maher is very politically savvy.
He knows the issues.
He knows the players. He writes smart jokes to people who are following this stuff not trucker Andy
But you know everyone else would maybe enjoy
Tom Myers sets it up like he knows what he's talking about and then the punchline is always like yeah
You know what he probably just turned into a reptile big what what?
It's not clever. He's still the Louis CK bit. Well, right. That's that's true from when who was it who called into open Anthony?
It was our defense secretary.
Yes, Donald Rumsfeld.
I like that he actually used the comedy of threes.
OK, to some effect.
He could he could do this could happen.
This could happen.
And then the fake laugh guy, Lizard Person came in too soon.
And you hear him go, oh, at the end. Yeah. After.
Sorry, Tom. Sorry.
There are a few times when when the other co-hosts on the show fuck up
and either don't laugh or laugh at the wrong times.
I know that's always great.
Like the flow of his joke was probably better than most.
Right. It seemed like it was going to go somewhere. Yeah.
Felt like it was going to be a joke. Yeah. So he's, he's growing as a performer. He's growing.
Listen, I said a couple of weeks ago, I thought he wrote a joke that actually passed as a joke,
which I was taking it back by. I think I named the video that's not a national holiday. It's crazy.
But yeah, it was Donald Rumsfeld. And if anyone's wondering what Cardiff was referring to on,
Opie and Anthony Louis CK was a guest and it might have Rumsfeld. And if anyone's wondering what Cardiff was referring to on, Opie and Anthony, Louis C.K. was a guest.
And it might have been just Anthony.
Opie might not have been there that day.
And Anthony was trying to have a legit interview
with Donald Rumsfeld about legit things.
And Louis C.K. would start up a question pretending
that he was also doing that and then would just turn into,
but are you actually a lizard person?
Can you say right now that you are not a lizard person?
And that would not answer the question.
That's why it went out of that.
Cause he just, we'd not, I mean, all you gotta do is be like,
God, I'm not a lizard person, but he wouldn't do that.
Yeah, I think it was just Anthony.
He was getting very uncomfortable with that.
But Louis CK told him he was going to do it.
If he did not like it, cause that's like a big get
for them on the show.
And he's like, sorry about that, sir.
Anyway, yeah, he's just having some fun with you, sir.
Anyway, let's find out when we got a Supreme Court joke coming up here, guys.
And my question for you, listen closely.
Why is this a joke?
The Supreme Court, speaking of which, will hear a case about whether Donald Trump can be on the
presidential ballot in Colorado.
At the Supreme Court, the justices are allowed to interrupt the attorneys, arguing the case.
Nobody knew this or not.
Basically, the Supreme Court is like a podcast where one of the hosts is a racist.
Yeah, I mean, what do you guys think?
Just one? Yeah, I don't get what the joke is there. I Think what you guys think
I don't get that with the joke is there. I also love he's trying to do the one I like you guys here about this
You guys see this in the news you guys hear about this. I don't know if you know this but they're allowed to interrupt the lawyers
That's the thing. Did you know that yeah anyway? It's like dude. All right, just fucking go. We got it. Go what what is this?
Why is it why is it a podcast? Why is there one racist? What's going on?
She talking about?
I don't know.
It sounded like he was trying to improvise.
Oh, he's definitely not.
He's reading.
He wrote this shit down.
Here's another good one, because when he writes jokes
about Donald Trump, they always land.
It was recently revealed that Mar-a-Lago has a secret room
where more classified government documents
may have been kept.
No one was more surprised than Trump,
who didn't know that that was a room
where he could look for Melania. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's interesting. I've looked for it doesn't exist, but that that's interesting like it almost seems like we're missing a
Layer of the visual aid or something because literally that joke was there's a secret room blah blah blah Donald's wife doesn't like him
Okay, good stuff
I mean there's so many places you can go with that these documents and a classified secret room
And then the joke is and his wife doesn't
want to have sex with them.
He's also a wizard.
Fuck.
Yeah, where's the tag when you need it?
So childish.
Jokes are so bad.
But we are now entering Maddox territory as I believe this is the first time I've heard
him come up with a math joke.
Oh, yeah.
You guys, you ready for this ronda santas his presidential campaign spent a total of
$160 million according to campaign finance reports. So for $160 million he got
23,000 votes out of Iowa which means he spent
$7,000 per vote people in Iowa were shocked when they discovered that they're worth $7,000
Be more funny people were shocked when they found out
Yeah, no, we're all there. We all got there
Time comes walking up. Yeah, yeah, we know
Waiting for you. Yeah, he's stealing Frankie Boyle's cadence.
Yes, we've discovered that he's obviously a big fan.
And that's what he's, that's what he's going for.
Still feels more like going to the gym and eating better.
Just going to the gym and eating better.
I doubt he's an open-ended guy this Tom Myers.
I'd be surprised.
Yeah, he might be funnier if he was.
It's really important to punch up
when it comes to comedy. Punching down is frowned upon.
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was banned from a reservation in that state after she
expressed support for Texas's brutal tactics, stopping people from coming over the southern
border. It must be refreshing for Native Americans to kick a white government
official off of its land for once.
Unless you're counting cards, I'm sure that happens all the time, right?
I'm not sure what the joke is there, but Tom's very proud of it.
All right, well, he's got a tag.
He's got a tag for his Native American joke. Here we go
Imagine being such an asshole and such a degenerate that they won't even welcome you to throw away your paycheck at a casino
Imagine
I'm glad you said that the way you did kind of because as I heard that I'm like does he think this is gonna like land
Does he think this is gonna hit this is gonna be a pop?
Imagine you're such an asshole. They don't even want you to throw away your entire paycheck at the casino
What yeah?
It's a heads gradually if he wasn't still making payments on the mic. He would have dropped the mic
Good point. Yes. He wasn't rented for Renner center, he's going to take care of it.
I mean, I can't imagine writing that down and going, yeah, this is pretty good.
I can imagine writing it down and then going back on.
Yeah, I know I say that.
Yeah, what was I doing with this?
This is not good.
All right.
Let's see.
Can we get a Dave Chappelle joke in here?
I bet we can.
A program generated a George Carlin comedy special using artificial intelligence.
I personally don't like it.
I don't agree with it.
If I wanted to hear artificially written comedy
constructed by some of the negative elements of modern technology,
I'd check out Dave Chappelle.
That does not make any fucking sense.
What is he trying to say there? Dave Chappelle, artificial.
Is it because he's on Netflix?
Is that the technology part?
Let's hear that again.
Is he saying that Dave Chappelle is not being real?
Maybe. Maybe that's what it's all about.
Let's look again. Let's see.
If I wanted to hear artificially written comedy
constructed by some of the negative elements
of modern technology, I'd check out Dave Chappelle.
Oh.
Artificial comedy.
Imagine calling yourself a comic
and thinking Dave Chappelle's a hack.
Yeah, I don't understand.
What world is this guy living in?
This is insane.
It almost seems like he's going,
like Dave Chappelle's a robot
and he's a tool for propaganda or something
Like he's again
If there was like a weird corner of the internet where like you know the people who think the birds are robots also think Dave Chappelle's a
Cyborg is any from the future, but no one's saying that no one else
Republicans the Republicans built Dave Chappelle robot
to bamboozle us all, Carl.
Is that what it is?
I knew it.
Subreddit surfing Sunday night.
Yes, that's super conservative Republican known as Dave Chappelle.
Correct.
Yeah.
Normally, I get like the ballpark of his joke.
Right.
You can't understand why he thought it was funny.
That one just like you just said a name.
Now this next joke, no one on his panel even knew this was a joke.
And so I left in the beginning of the next joke just to show you that he goes,
oh, shit, that didn't just move.
So to show the end, you should need it to show the next beginning. Yes,
correct.
Okay.
And speaking of comedians propped up by bigots,
Shane Gillis will host this week's Saturday Night Live.
Bless his fans who are recovering from whiplash this week
after spending so much time shit talking the show
during his hiring, firing in 2019.
A man is suing McDonald's.
That might edit. That was how that went.
That was not a punchline. You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir. That didn't make any sense
at all. The whiplash because you remember five years ago and then now and while it's some whiplash,
five years. Whoa. I'll see myself out. Fucking idiot.
I love those people too are just like, they're having Shane
Gillis on the show.
Yeah, he's everywhere.
Who cares?
Why not?
It's a difference.
All right.
So let's hear the rest of that McDonald's joke that he started
up on the last one.
This might be, and it's hard to say this, the most obvious punchline
of any joke Tom has ever written.
And I know that seems crazy, but you tell me, we guess you'll know it.
You'll know as soon as he starts.
A man is suing McDonald's because of an allergic reaction to the dairy content
of the cheese in a McDonald's Big Mac that almost killed him.
It's a pretty serious claim.
But on another note, he may have a case as no one expects real food
to be an ingredient in McDonald's menu items.
Going in the middle.
Would you have guessed that one there, Cardiff?
I was assuming he was going for a fake cheese joke.
So yeah, it was in the ballpark.
Exactly, yeah, that's exactly what it was.
He might win his case because no one thinks there's dairy products in the cheese
at the McDonald's. It has the cheeseburger.
Yes, it's not a great joke, but economy.
He had to. I do.
Yes. So ridiculous. Food items.
I shut up.
I would almost expect him to throw in a hot coffee
bit on there. You hear about the woman.
Yes, there's other places you can go, but-
Keep it current.
He just finds the most obvious angle every fucking time.
All right, last clip, we're gonna hear him wrap up
his monologue, which he always ends with a bang,
as you guys know.
And then my favorite thing,
and these guys are not on the same page,
even though they do a show together every week,
where Tom does the super generic open-ended question.
What's going on this week guys?
You know, doesn't ask anyone directly, doesn't give a question that anyone can
actually answer.
And that's how he kicks off the show.
And Jeff Heisen always jumps in because he's got a joke ready to go.
So check out Jeff Heisen's doozy here.
This is insane.
Jeff Heisen is an attorney and a standup comedian.
He should be able to speak and put thoughts together and articulate a concept. The McDonald's dollar menu pretty much states,
we can't think of another valid use for this shit.
And now, all with the show,
please draw me a welcoming Jeff Heisen, polite kitty and Chip Jones.
Hello, Tom.
Hello.
So what's everyone been up to this week?
Well, it's exciting to be here, Tom.
And you mentioned Dave Chappelle.
Chip and I have shared the stage before.
And one of the ways that we try to do,
one of the things we try to do when we're on stage is entertain people and make them
laugh and hope they're having a good time but according to the
people who vote on the Grammys the way to win the best
comedy album is to insult people the little people punch
down and then act like you're the victim the way Dave
Chappelle did so trip and I have a lot to learn.
Wow.
It makes Tom Meyer seems to sink to where this asshole talks. Wow.
That's just... I just...
Sorry. I just thought you think that Dave Chappelle's hate hate is you know, isn't Dave Chappelle a Baltimore comic?
Isn't that where he came up? Oh, is it I think so I think
Yeah, so maybe Tom's tired of living in his shadow. That's what it is. Yes, Tom's the second most famous comic
Stop he's from Baltimore. So he's probably third but
Stop, he's from Baltimore, so he's probably third.
But where is this coming from?
That Dave Chappelle is now a person who punches down and a hater. And it's so ridiculous that people who are supposed to be comedians
don't understand how comedy works.
He made a joke that referenced a trans person.
What a bigot. What's fucking morons?
Such a weird ego.
It was the wrong time to make jokes like that, Carl.
Oh, right. Yes.
You know all the violence that's happening out there.
All right.
So we do have to talk about Atlantic City.
And we were talking before the show started.
My plan was not to address Atlantic City.
Everyone's talking about it.
But now it's becoming a big enough thing
with what happened last night that I feel we do's talking about it. But now it's becoming a big enough thing with what happened last night,
that I feel we do need to address it. Before we do that,
I do want to also address on Thursday's miserable company,
Kevin Brennan devoted two hours plus I didn't get to watch the
whole thing. So I do who are the socials on Thursdays to the
the 15 minute video we did about Kevin Brennan and how pathetic
he was saying he's no longer going to Atlantic City because broccoli was paying for John
to go and he thought broccoli was his boyfriend and not John's boyfriend.
He doesn't like broccoli to timing him.
And we thought that that was like pathetic and lame.
And I was right to say that we all are.
And so Kevin plays it on his show and then cries about it for over two hours.
And I just want to point out a couple of things to the people who are in the Kevin camp.
From my perspective, we did 15 minutes on Kevin in a three hour show.
We prepare a lot more stuff.
Kevin's got nothing.
So he does over two hours on that 15 minutes.
He claims that I'm a liar.
And then he says things are completely untrue.
There's no way he would even know.
And so what I always say is I want to go on Kevin's show.
I would like to confront him on these things or he can come on my show or we
can do a show together outside of each other's shows and have this discussion.
But Kevin will not agree to that.
I don't need money.
I gave him his money back.
I'm not asking for money.
I just want to let him know he's an idiot. And he calls me a liar and says all this shit and
gas lights his audience, but then won't talk to me. And he loves to make this claim. He goes,
well, Carl doesn't have people on his show that are confrontational or confront him, right? Because
we do a very different style show over here. We have a format where we obviously get on the same
page and make fun of something. We get a format where we obviously got on the same page
and make fun of something.
We can have disagreements over whether something sucks or not,
but we're all kind of trying to get to the same place
in the end of this.
Whereas Kevin Brennan has a show that's all about conflict.
It's all about bringing on Ray DeVito versus Chad Zumak
and now it's a roast battle and these guys hate that guy
and let's bring that person in.
But if you disagree with Kevin, then you're off the show or if you do something Kevin doesn't like
I don't know what's gonna happen with hackamania hackamania.com to get your tickets
Nobody likes onions. Who are these podcasts in Las Vegas?
But also Ray DeVito Pat Dixon Earl Skakel
Those three are regulars at Mizzio's company. Kevin just came out and said they're off the show forever
if they do this show in Vegas.
So Kevin's this weird control freak
that he has a lack of confidence, a lack of self-esteem,
something's going on where he can't allow other people
to have anything going on in their lives
outside of Miserilos Company for some reason.
So bizarre, doesn't make any sense.
Well, because they don't pay you. Yeah, guests don't get paid to be on podcasts. They do that in order
to build themselves up and build an audience and be found by more people. That's how that
works. And you know that, Kevin. So I just wanted to point that out. The offer is still
out there. If Kevin ever wants to have me on his show, I'd be happy to go on there and
explain some things to him. All right. what happened to Good Nature and Ribbon?
No Good Nature and Ribbon going on over there.
All right, let's get into it.
Stuttering John made it to Atlantic City.
He finally made it yesterday. before we get to the Atlantic City stuff.
Uh, on Thursday, John did a show.
He was very drunk and he was very upset with Kevin Brennan.
The same episode I was just talking about where Kevin talked about me for two hours,
he made one offhand remark about stuttering John's plane going badly, which is John's word,
not Kevin's. Kevin knows how to talk. And John got very upset about this. And we talked about
the point, devil point yesterday. John got very upset that Kevin Brennan would put a hex on his plane.
Yeah.
Hope something bad happens and John's outraged by this.
He's going, it's not just me,
there's 200 people on that plane.
There's children on that plane, Kevin.
You want the children to die?
And then he turned it into,
and if I die, then my kids will be sad.
You want my kids to be sad.
It's like, John, what are you talking about right now?
You laugh about Shuli's dead mother one second.
And then the next, you're clutching your pearls
over someone going, making a joke.
You know, he doesn't actually have magical powers.
Professional comedians, everyone.
You're just making a fucking joke.
He's Irish, Carl.
So then somebody, yeah, that's true.
So then somebody reminds John that he's kind of a hypocrite
because he once told Artie Lang to kill himself
and be successful next time.
You wish Artie would end himself, hypocrite.
Artie and I were having a brutal Twitter war.
Brutal.
We were fucking nonstop attacking each other.
But at least it was just already.
I didn't wish badly on a whole fucking plane.
He wins again.
He justifies all of his shitty behavior
in the most ridiculous way possible. It's ludicrous
So I would think that telling one person who's already attempted suicide to kill themselves
Would be worse than just making a joke about a plane having issues a very vague joke like I hope so in bad
happens, it's not like Kevin went through and read the list of passengers on that plane and Susie
McGee in seat 4a, oh, she dies?
And what the fuck?
Carl, you've never served.
You don't know what it's like in war.
Well, all right.
He was in a battle.
He was in a Twitter with Arty.
War with Arty laying.
It was getting nuts.
I think Arty said something like,
his movie wasn't very good.
And then Jack goes, kill yourself!
Drink bleach! He always escalates it.
The jugular. Immediately.
Jugular John. Oh, he's such an asshole. And I love that people are pointing out his hypocrisy right to his face.
And never once the guy who claims to apologize all the time and admit mistakes,
never once goes, oh yeah, good point. Probably shouldn't be calling out KB for such a lame thing
You owe me an apology. Right. It never happens that way
So the other fun thing is I think we've all realized the John's not a 160 IQ
I think we're all to say card if you you want to say page with me on this one. I'm still I'm still investigating
the same page with me on this one. I'm still, I'm still investigating.
Okay.
Still investigating.
But I love when Super Chatters send in questions and quiz him.
Please answer my questions and prove your genius.
What's an advert?
What's a radius?
What's a cow of hungry?
Don't even know the quiz meant some man.
Yeah, I didn't take any quizzes.
And no, I'm not answering any of it.
I know a little bit, but I'm not fucking gonna fucking answer it.
My favorite is the, I know those answers. But why don't you tell me what they are? I know what little bit, but I'm not fucking gonna fucking answer it. My favorite is the I know those answers
But what you tell me what they are. I know what they are. Let's see if you're right
Carl to answer these are not even difficult actually badly is an adverb I
Use adverbs all the time at the end of the sentence. That's how many.
Retardedly.
All right.
So jazz outplaying along with that, unfortunately.
It's crazy because he gets every question around jeopardy,
because he's a men's man.
And that's what that's what that's a men's means.
You could do well at jeopardy.
But for some reason, he couldn't answer.
What's a radius?
It's just fucking put it to bad.
I guess not for 800 yen.
Yes, 800 yen wasn't enough for him.
All right.
So this is where Southern United's caught in a lie.
And I love this because this is a terrible defense.
And you could tell he had to think about it and think about
what his defense would be and then come up with it.
So basically, John said on this show
that he didn't draw first blood,
he didn't know who Shule was.
He goes, I knew he was like a whack packer.
I put through on the phones from time to time.
I didn't know who Shule was,
which is a dumb thing to say
because all of this is documented
and we all know what your relationship was.
Because John came out on his show back when Shulley was working for Howard Stern
and said that Shulley's my mole and he's leaking this information to me.
And when you do that sort of thing with a guy like Howard Stern,
Howard's not going to want to work with people who are moles.
He's not going to want people in the inner circle working for the show who are giving information to people who are using it nefariously
That's an ever
So let's see him get caught in a lie here
Lie, try and get Shulie fired by saying he was your mom
Nope, nope, nope
Alright, let's see why. Don't take a swag, think about it
Try to get Julie. Look at the sea.
You think Howard.
Is reading when I tweet.
You thought so. Or caring.
You thought Gary Delabate was fucking my.
Yeah, Gary.
Yeah, Howard's got. Oh, I'm going to find
someone because John said something.
Fucking Howard.
You kidding me?
So according to John, yeah, I mean,
definitely if Howard had heard that information,
he might want to fire Shuler,
but he wasn't gonna hear that information.
Even if he did, he wouldn't believe me.
So how was I trying to get him fired?
So in this case, he's small potatoes.
Correct, yes.
Depending on the scenario.
Because at the same time, he used to brag
that Howard was stealing his show format
He's like I know Gary lives is every episode and that's why they're doing this bit and that bit because they're just stealing it for me
But then at the same time it's just like and I was when I was saying the shoe is my mole and he's the one who leaked the pelican brief video
I know I was gonna believe me. I'm just this guy over here just ranting into the
Fucking ether and I thought he was a star
into the fucking ether.
And I thought he was a star.
The inner circle.
The inner circle.
Way to get fucking caught in a lie right there
and not know how to get yourself out of it at all.
And speaking of which, John's talking about how he was never
making fun of people with cancer when he posted that tweet
with my dad's photo in it and his name doxing my father
and then took it down before I said anything about it because of all the backlash he got from everyone else.
So now John's going to explain
that that was not making fun of cancer.
And also this thing was already, he's actually the hero.
I don't know if you realize this,
but John's actually the hero of this scenario.
It wasn't making fun of anybody with cancer. These guys bring, and then they bring up the
arty thing. That was fucking way, 10 years ago. All right, excuse number one. He told Arty to
kill himself, but that was 10 years ago. He was only 48 back then. He's a naive young kid. What
are you going to do? Obama said it was okay still. Yeah.
It's 10 years ago in the asshole. Artie and I, I love Artie Lang. I do. I wish him well.
I got a question for you producer Chris. I'm sure there's people that you consider loved ones in your life. Absolutely. How many of them have you told them to kill themselves to their face or through a tweet?
Yeah, keep zero. Oh, Curtis same question seven
And that's a fact Jack and you can talk to them
Filato I did he'll tell you the same thing. He didn't
Already well, we all love already and already knows that okay and I've been there for already quite a few times quite a few
times he's drowning who knows I might even saved on his life here we go look
at his face I was waiting when he said and already knows that.
I was waiting for him to say and that's how he made it through.
Right.
All this because of his love and support.
That would have been even funnier.
But look at how John is out turned this around in his head.
He went from defensive to offensive.
Look at his face.
He's just like, and you guys don't even realize I saved his life once.
Let's find out how he did that.
One time after Howard's party, he was so fucking inebriated.
I had his keys.
I took his keys and I wouldn't let him drive.
And he fucking wanted to punch me.
So I give him my fucking keys, I'm like, no, no.
And I did not let him drive. That's what a friend does. I fucking keys him like no, no.
And I did not let him drive. That's what a friend does.
That's a person who really cares about Artie.
You gotta love the way he's reenacting this too.
And I was like, fuck you, I want you to live man.
I'm doing this for you.
Yes, I totally sobered John.
Yes, I'm just at your Howard party out.
I simply refused.
I just refuse I
Guarantee it was a drunk John stole Artie's keys
Gary sorry taking the keys away from John driving Artie's Mercedes
It's probably close to the truth
Unbelievable this fucking guy the way you can turn these things around in his head
It really is a skill. It's an art form. Yeah, you can see it in his eyes when he thinks he's got a leg to stand on Yep, I
Spawn it I spawn it. Yeah, here we go and that's where he starts pointing to his head
That's how smart he is yell it a few times. All right
So That's how smart he is. I'll yell it a few times. All right. So John starts yelling at Kevin Brennan.
Kevin Brennan, I don't know if this is the real Kevin Brennan
or not, but he super chats John.
And so anytime he sees a photo of Kevin Brennan,
he assumes he's in a conversation with him, obviously.
It's just like Gina Bobino.
Like, yeah, like anybody would.
You're a dick, Brennan.
You're a fucking dick.
I didn't do shit to you.
Nothing. In fact, when you were asking for fucking Karl's wife's wedding picture, I texted to you.
What a guy.
What a guy.
I've been wrong about him all this time. He is a hero.
So this is what happened.
I was on that video that Kevin was watching on a show. I go Kevin's turning into Stuttering John
He's making fun of what my wife's wearing. She's dressed up in a inside-out polo shirt with cockroaches on it
Obviously a Stuttering John costume. It's a joke. She doesn't dress like that
And I think you made the jokes like either it's like it's her wedding photo or something
Right, and so then Kevin on the show is like, I like to see that wedding photo.
He doesn't actually want to see it.
She looks beautiful at her wedding.
That's not something you goof on.
John's an idiot.
He doesn't understand.
So he's got that photo.
He's just like, oh, you want to see it?
I'll send it to you.
Oh, it's crazy.
She's all dolled up and looks beautiful.
Why, check this out.
So not only does he send it to both Kevin Brennan
and Adam Hinnaker, he also called them afterwards.
Kevin's doing a show and John's calling him,
hey, I just sent that to you, make sure you put it
on your show.
He's such a moron and now he also wants credit for it
and like, aren't I a good friend?
I was gonna pile on Carl with you.
What's going on over here?
But that's the only way he can get friendship.
I texted to you 10 minutes later.
You wish something happens to my plane.
10 minutes later.
After all I've done for you.
And Tika.
I texted him the wedding picture too, to help you out.
And then you fucking act like the little girl and y'all and by the way look
No, broccoli. Are you happy calf?
No, broccoli. You know, he is why would you say that? You know, he's cackling about that
idiots
This made his night fucking moron
about that idiot. This made his night fucking moron.
So obviously he stopped himself from saying what he wanted to say to Kevin Brennan.
So about 20 minutes later, Kevin Brennan, or someone pretending to be Kevin Brennan,
pops out again with another super chat and John doesn't know what to say.
This is so embarrassing.
Kev, you can fucking laugh all you want.
I'll get into it in the second hour. Ha ha ha.
Yeah. Ha ha ha.
The second hour, you dumb fuck.
What? You don't know what that means?
You pinky fucking yellow helmet, lady-shoot.
Fucking...
Ugh.
Dickhead.
Ha ha ha.
It was something I was going to say, but I'm not going to wasn't an F slur Jon I know what you are going to say you big lady shoe wear it
You you fucking dickhead. I'll know what you wanted to say Jon. What a fucking failure that is watch that again. It's fun
I love the way he revs up for it too and then he's got nothing.
It's like the Millennium Falcon trying to take off into hyperspace, hyperspeed, and Empire Strikes Back.
Right, Chris? I'm just trying to get kindy excited for coming on the show.
They had a faulty Google Chrome.
It was a faulty uniform. It was a faulty uniform. You don't know what that means?
You pinky, fucking yellow helmet,
lady chute, fucking.
Fucking.
Gah.
Dickhead.
It was something I was going to say,
but I'm not going to.
I was close to dick.
Hot dog is the appropriate answer.
We were looking for hot dog.
Senator John, good try though.
Oh God, I should have played this.
But I played him getting caught in the lie, which I enjoyed very much because later
on in the show, someone says, you know, John, you're the one who's honest with us.
And his response is very telling.
Ace, realize you only want to tell the truth.
I try to.
I do not want to lie to you people.
So instead of saying, yeah, I know.
I am the only one who's honest and truthful with you guys.
Everyone else is out there lying.
He goes, I do try to not lie.
I don't want to.
I don't want to lie to you.
Oh, right.
The fact he couldn't bring himself to just say, yeah, I'm truthful.
I tell the truth. I'm not this guy. It's very telling. Even a dumb guy like John just like
can't say those words. He knows how ridiculous that is. All right. Let's get into it. On
Thursday show, John is talking about making up with everyone in Atlantic City. He's going
to make up with Cardiff Electric and they're going to be buds and he's going to make up
with KB and they're gonna be buds.
Everything ends with getting a beer and everything.
And he's actually playing out the scenarios
of how it's gonna go.
I'll walk up to him be like,
hey, everything cool, yeah, everything's cool.
And we'll hang out and be good.
He's practicing this in the mirror, it seems like.
Yeah, he's throwing beers to everyone, like the commercial.
Yeah, like paint manning and the covers,
he's chucking butt lights around the bar.
You're great. It's on Vince.
It's around on Vince and broccoli.
Oh, that was the other thing.
I'm sorry, I get distracted.
Someone was telling John that the broccoli avatars races.
He goes, how was that racist?
He's so stupid.
All right. So anyway, this is- You can't be racist against Chinese.
Yeah, right.
This is John explaining that when he meets Patrick Mountain,
this is how it's gonna go down.
It's gonna be smooth, it's gonna be great.
For see fatty patty.
Hey, can you apologize about what you, yeah, okay,
okay, hey, how you doing?
Let's have a beer.
That's it. All right. Easy enough. So you would think that John's gonna run into Patrick Melton and he's gonna say, do you apologize for
what you said about my kids? That's gonna be a course, man. I'm sorry about that. And then they're
gonna sit down and have a couple beers together. You didn't get my letter and the flowers.
Let's find out how things really went down because someone captured this.
This is the big video.
I wasn't even going to play this, but it's such an important part of understanding who Stuttering John is
and how all of this is playing out.
I realize this isn't a podcast per se.
This is ours, a Brooder film.
Yes, this was in public.
This is how John behaves.
So they were observing John sitting by himself.
And I'm gonna play the video of Patrick Milton
giving his side of the story.
I'll tell you John's side of the story too.
But basically John gets to the Borgata,
goes to the center bar there,
and is kind of like drinking by himself
and walking around, hoping people recognize him.
Just looking for fans to come out to him
and be like, hey, it's starting John Melendez.
And so they're observing this from afar. And so Patrick for fans to come out to them and be like, Hey, it's starting John Melendez. And so they're
observing this from afar. And so Patrick Milton decides to come
over and talk to him. And I wish I had this video. There's
another video that exists that I don't have today, but it's
nine seconds long. I'll explain it. Basically, you walk up three
steps to get to the bar area. So John's up three steps on this
bar area. And then there's a guardrail, and then Patrick
Milton standing down below on the other side of it. So John's up three steps on this bar area. And then there's a guardrail. And then Patrick Melton standing down
below on the other side of it. So John's actually a half a foot
taller than Melton in this scenario, because he's up three
feet. And and John's going, Hey, you're gonna apologize. And
Patrick's just like, Yeah, man, I apologize on my show. No hard
feelings, you know, whatever. And so then they walked their separate ways.
And so Patrick and his buddies are just standing around drinking
drinks, smoking cigarettes, having some laughs.
And John comes back and confronts them.
And according to Patrick Mountain, which I'll play, John is just
like looking over at him and stewing and just thinking about it
and thinking about it and stewing and getting more and more angry and talking about my kids, you know, that kind of thing.
So this is how this played out.
All right, so if you're just listening to this, what's happening here is I think it's a gin blossom song
It's not great. No the point is there John's coming right up to Patrick Melton and saying apologize
Why don't you apologize and a couple of Melton's crew is now getting in between them and going hey back up buddy relax relax
And he's telling him a fat fuck and telling me to apologize
You're saying make good!
You're gonna play with them!
So, I can't make out everything that's being said,
but John's going,
oh, come on, you're gonna goop by my kids?
If anybody's going, I'm not doing anything, I'm just standing here.
John came up to him.
This isn't this...
bizarre, this confrontation.
Because remember, in John's world, he's gonna apologize, they're gonna be best buds.
I don't know why I didn't play out that way.
Apparently one of these guys is Leo Gunn too.
Oh for real?
Yeah, that's what he said on our show today.
Leo Gunn was in this, he didn't say who he was,
but he named off, he kind of talked
about all the other people there
and I'm thinking it's that guy with the bag.
Okay. Leo Gunn.
Someone told John that you were in the mix in this too.
I won't give away your identity, don't worry.
Thank you, thank you.
I think I'll do it.
All right, so now we see security has been alerted.
There's a, I think the guy just got spit out by John.
He's wiping his face off after John spit on him.
So now security is walking up and it's a female security officer.
She's getting on her walkie-talkie calling in help. So he just told security.
So Patrick Mountain looks over at the guy filming and smiles.
And John just told security.
That guy is trashing my kids.
Yes, I caught that.
That's amazing.
He just told security.
This is the world John lives in.
I'm going to tell security you're thrashing my kids.
What do you think they're going to do about that?
What's going to happen there?
Carl, listen, I know you're on a roll, man.
But please when I just wanted to see if Tuki was reporting
this morning and then I see Stucco is live.
And when I heard his account of this would be Friday night,
I believe.
Yeah, last night.
Last night. That's when last night. Yeah last night
That's when it all hit home to me
You've been asking is John this stupid is he this delusional? Yes, and we've been oscillating a little right performative
He's actually like he's upset about this or that he's removed any doubt in your mind
Yes today was the day that that hit
What did he hope to achieve? And him going, yeah!
Oh, he thought everyone was gonna fucking applaud him.
Yes, yeah.
He's the biggest celebrity in the devil verse.
See, Patricia Cris, in John's mind,
his resume is the only thing that matters.
Yes.
So when he was talking to Vince the lawyer
before he went to AC, he goes,
now, who are the other celebrities that are gonna be there?
No one else, I'm the only celebrity.
So in his mind, this is gonna be this huge celebration.
They're picking them up on their shoulders.
John, you're our guy, thank you, John.
They don't realize it, no one has any respect for him at all.
No one.
So I think this is not just about Patrick,
I think it's him, it's dawning on him
that he's not getting the applause or any recognition
Right someone was like hey, hey, can you get out of the way? I want to see what's on tap
I want to I want to go back home or all the uber drivers know my name
Stevie tomatoes
Steve tomatoes
So you just say this guy's trash my kids to another security guard. Yeah, this guy trash my kids. Oh my god. So now another
Whatever security comes up. I don't think he said it before I think before he was just telling the woman
This guy's recording this guy's recording this guy's recording. I heard trashing my kids I swear to God. Okay, maybe I need to enhance the audio a little bit But yeah when this other security guard comes over he points right to me this guy trashes my kids
Let's I'm backing it up a little bit. I want to I want to see this. This is not I
Definitely heard the other guy
And now
And now he's getting in my face here comes the other guy
And now he's getting in my face. Here comes the other guy.
Yeah, so he just, the other security guy walks up,
hey what's going on over here guys?
And John goes, this guy right here trashed my children.
In other words them fighting words I guess, right?
I always take the side of someone pointing at everybody.
Yeah, I know.
And being belligerent.
Right.
John's the one who's acting up and all of this.
Patrick is just standing there.
He's literally just standing there. He's literally just it's what I was standing there
Running to the authorities
Oh, he really is. Yeah, he looks terrible
He's taping yeah, he's pointing at everyone who's
Filming him on their phones guys guys got a king John's legs
Seeing John's legs and feet were the best part of this video, right?
You call it he calls everybody else out. It's so ridiculous to me that he thinks he's better than everyone.
Such a tiny little man.
And yeah, let's play mountains recap of this because he went back into his room afterwards
and got online and gave us his perspective.
Again, my lost interest go to their YouTube channel subscribe they're awesome
or he's awesome my last interest is always updating us on the important clips
from all these shows all right but shout out to Greenberg for bringing us that
one oh who was that who brought that flimsy Greenberg thank you flimsy
green yeah we've always wanted to see John IRL and that's pretty close. Yeah. Yeah, that was good. What ah, all right this
This was what this was a wild one
That's our base gone. I'm dead tired so I'm going to bed shortly. This will be a short stream, but I thought it'd be
Good to talk about what the fuck just happened. So we go down
stairs
me just happened. So we go downstairs, me, Mario, movie star, fingernails. You've
all seen the tweets by now if you haven't. Oh boy, go check Twitter. So we walk
downstairs, me, Mario, flimsy, Rob, and we meet up with another fan down there who's got a, you know, a location on John. And he's in the B bar, the center
bar in the Borgata. And we're like kind of like hanging back, just talking and laughing.
We're watching him wander around the bar. He's one. He was wandering around the center
bar. So finally we're like, all we're gonna do this let's do it.
So I just walk up and John's there and John's walking around the bar trying to
get noticed. This is literally what he's trying to do. We watched him for several
minutes before he went over. He's circling the bar. So sad. Phone up, elbow up, you know
guys who talk like this on the phone, elbows way up. And so I walk up and I see him and I just go,
John, John, what's up, baby?
And he walks away and he comes back and he goes,
are you going to the ball?
He comes right up to me.
We're reaching distance.
It's just me and him.
Everybody else is kind of standing back.
Do you have John's rebuttal to this though?
I have a couple of clips from John's rebuttal to this though?
I have a couple of clips from John's show this morning.
I wasn't able to get his full rebuttal,
but I did watch it.
So do you want to fill in any gaps?
Just the phone call I thought was interesting
where he said, I was pretending I was on the phone
with my ex-wife.
Yes, that was interesting.
So he's just like, I'm talking to my ex
in order to make a scene like he had an important call
and he goes, I wasn't talking to my acts.
Like, no, you're always lying.
We know that.
I don't know what he admits to these liners.
Like, no, we knew it's not even a real phone.
It's filled with candy.
Got out of a claw machine 20 minutes earlier.
What the fuck?
And he's like, are you going to apologize for what you said to my kids?
And I keep saying to him, like, you know, I'm sorry you got hurt, like they're jokes,
it's a podcast, you say a lot of shit on your podcast,
you don't mean?
Yeah, I did hear him say, in that other video,
I can't find the first initial interaction.
I did hear Petra Bones say, yeah, there were jokes, John.
Dude, like fucking get over,
I'm not physically going to their school
and tripping them on their way into class.
Like, Jesus Christ.
This is funny.
Uncle Christian in the discord says how many comeback lines did John think up after they
went their ways?
Oh you're right.
That's what he was doing back at the bar in this corner.
I should have said this and then that.
Jerk store.
You say a lot of shit on your podcast you don't know.
You know you're just talking shit.
And he goes, oh, you gotta apologize for what you said to my kids.
He's not even hearing the words that I'm saying.
And I said, I'm sorry you got upset, but John, and he just walks away.
He just walks away.
He storms off and he goes to the far side of the bar and sits down.
Now he sits down where he can see us.
So we all get a drink and we're standing there and some of us are smoking, we're laughing.
He's over there at the bar drinking, drinking, seething.
You see him just watching us laughing.
That's another thing that happened
on the show this morning when I was watching John.
I didn't get a chance to watch all of it
because I was prepping for the show,
but John was saying how he didn't even have any beers.
He goes, I had one beer, I wasn't drunk.
You know, I didn't even get a chance to drink.
But then later in the show,
or maybe it was earlier in the show
because that's how dumb he is.
He said he got a martini when he first got there.
A strong martini I think is what he said. Oh, oh. Followed by two beers
and then he started walking around. Oh, then he went to the
blackjack table and he lost his money quicker than one of the
servers came over to get him free beers. He was all pissed off
about that. I've been there. No, he broke down the math even
further. It was one martini, one
beer. Then I got one beer to go to
go. So that was a different beer.
That doesn't count. I wasn't sitting
down. That was to go beer.
Yeah, he's working it off while he's
walking.
Let's see. So Christina Marie, my
sister-in-law, is with Melton in AC
right now and asking to send the link.
I will do that.
Let me play the rest of this video
and I'll send the link.
Having fun.
There's five or six of us at this point.
Laughing, having fun, joking around.
10 minutes, 15 minutes.
We're all just standing there having fun.
John's watching us.
We keep, everyone keeps going.
It's not helped to our ring keeps going.
He's just staring at us
and you just see him over there drinking.
Just getting angry.
Just getting angry.
He stands up and he comes over.
He walks down the steps over to our group.
There is one female security guard
at the entrance to the bar by the steps.
So John comes up right to me and he goes,
are you gonna apologize for what you said to my children?
And I tried the thing again, like John,
I apologized on your stream and I'm here to say,
I'm sorry, I'm here to squash this, I'm here to make peace.
I'm sorry that I offended you, I'm sorry that I hurt you,
but I'm not saying it right, you hear what What I'm saying I'm apologizing for the wrong thing
But also Patrick Melton had reached out to John before this even happened hoping to squash the argument
I don't know what his angle is maybe we'll fight now. Maybe I'll pop on in a minute
But this has been in the work. So I think John feels like he has the upper hand because of this. Oh
I mean John's talk shit about Patrick Melton as as we know, and vice versa. So it's
one of these things are just like, John, what's an apology? Get it? Who gives a shit? Either
move on or don't pick one? What do you want? What are these magic words you need to hear
in order for the fucking beanstalk to grow? Give us a shit. Yeah, whatever offended you
has already been said, right? And he's saying he's not going to say it anymore. So I don't
know what else you want. Right. But it goes back to John still thinks the only reason
Melton said anything about his kids is trashing him at all is because of that brutal song that John wrote
All I ever did was fatty patty. What's like he thinks he heard him so much with that song that that's why he's going after
Also, I brought up to John many times. I go you you never talk about, you talk about me talking about your kids all the time,
you never say anything about Patrick Melton doing it.
I don't care.
I don't care about Patrick Melton.
I don't even know who he is.
He's forgotten the reason he's mad at Patrick Melton
is because Patrick Melton put the stream yard link
to John Cho and his Discord,
and that's when the shit porn happened on John Shoddy and the cover's right.
That's why he's mad at Patrick Moldy,
he doesn't even fucking remember that.
I had to remember that for him,
that's why you're mad at him, not because of the kid thing.
You told me you're not mad at him about that.
Now he is.
It's just easier for him to remember one thing.
He has to generate something in his mind
that he's angry about and he just, that's his go-to
and it's like, you're in the wrong, I'm in the right.
Okay.
I'm apologizing for his interpretation of,
and you can tell he's very drunk.
He's having trouble walking down the steps.
He's wearing a blazer and he's all,
and you!
Now, a couple of people said that his breath was,
I didn't know that this was a thing, John Smell,
but a couple of people said that his breath was... I didn't know that this was a thing. John's smell? But a couple people said his breath could take the paint off a Chrysler. As he's in my face yelling, you better apologize. You never talk about my kids
again. You better apologize. Of course I'm not. You know. I'm trying to say I'm here
to say I'm sorry that you got upset. I keep like saying that and I'm not, you know. I'm trying to say I'm here to say I'm sorry that you got upset.
I keep saying that and I'm not apologizing correctly, friend.
And it's making me angry.
And we're all laughing and just having fun.
Everyone's in a good mood.
And this is getting me very, very upset.
And he goes to like do a two finger on my, as high up as he can reach on my chest
Yeah, he goes to like I think like goes to like you but apologize and I just kind
of like I had my hand up and I kind of like I don't even think it was on purpose
I think I kind of knocked it out of the way just kind of like talking with my
hand and I've got a cigarette in one hand and I'm not in a fighting stance.
And at that point I realized like, oh, he's going to swing.
I knew he was going to swing.
He was drunk, he's angry, and he wanted to fight.
Another fan stepped in named Sean and tried to, who originally started as a SJ fan and tried to tell him like yeah, I'm starting John
I like you know, I've loved you forever. I want to buy you a beer. He's looking past. He's not even hearing that I
Think he said to him actually after he said that I think he said like get out of my fucking face
He's talking to like strangers like this. He was sensed. He was fired up. I the tiger for sure
I was kind of turned and I was ready for him to like hit me
And I knew it was drunk. I'd watched him stumble down the stairs
So I'm just I'm going if he if he hits me. I know it's not gonna land it effectively. I know it's not gonna
Know it's not gonna
Sure before I could ask like Peter train box or my sky Parker David Skywalker
Got right in between us. That's what you see on the video
and started like pushing him back.
I'm genuinely trying to de-escalate this.
You know, in my best bitchy...
Sorry, those noises are on Patrick Melton's video
in case people are wondering why that's happening.
A feminine voice.
John, calm down, balance yourself.
You know, I'm saying all this stuff. and he's just not hit none of its landing
It's a Peter Sky Park Parker and Shawn and a couple the other guys start like pushing him back
And he starts screaming like you talking about my children you fat fuck
you better say
You better say my
You better never talk about my children again. You better say that's not even my children
It's just again. He's say that's not even my children.
And it's just again, he's not giving the apology he wants.
I think he really thought he was gonna like,
bully me into an apology like,
well yeah, that's what I thought.
So I would be just be hanging out alone.
Yeah, he's not allowed to be near me.
He's not allowed to approach me.
So we just kept hanging out at the B bar because he wanted to hang out at the B bar and they made him leave. And they're like, you can't go near him again.
Don't go near him. So you got like a warning from security as I was like, there's like, all right,
you got you can't be around this guy. We don't want any fights breaking out.
this guy that we don't want any fights breaking out. So yeah, John's hanging out alone.
I'll tell you what happened after he left
because we had some spies and it's worse than you think.
Before you know it, this female security guard,
I guess she called for people.
And before you know it, there's nine security guards here.
I know that because I counted them.
I was like, there are nine security guards here all of a sudden. but I'm gonna count it on them. I was like, there are nine security guards here
all of a sudden, and I mean, like, ninjas out of nowhere.
And he just starts, Stuttering John starts
justifying his behavior, and he's like,
he talked about my kids.
So he's like fighting security guards at this point,
like trying to get to me.
Like, not fighting, but like, you know, like push, like,
he's certainly yelling in that video like,
these guys are following me around.
They won't leave me alone.
I walked up to you because we knew where you were.
I tried to have a conversation, you walked away,
and then we just went back to our group.
And then you went over and had it.
He made a spectacle of going to Vegas.
Yes. And then his upset that people are following him around,
or sorry, the Atlantic City shit.
No, I'll go through some of the tweets he put out there
because he was pretty much like he always does,
meet me at Pickwick 3 PM anytime you want.
And then someone showed up with Pickwick pub looking for him.
Can you believe this?
He loves to be the victim,
but he's setting it up for all of this to happen.
He wants this to happen and then he doesn't
as soon as it starts to happen.
And yeah, we'll show where he was antagonizing people
on Twitter.
That's after saying, I come in peace.
Yeah.
Drink and just gotten your own fucking feelings
and see if you think about it.
And then came over to start a fight.
So all the security guards come over, they split us up.
They take John over, John starts, I'm not kidding you.
Ask Peter Sky Parker, this comes out of John's mouth.
I'm a celebrity.
He says it, I wish I had my scream echo voice.
Oh no.
I'm a celebrity.
I'm stuttering John Mom and Man.
Ha ha ha.
Oh.
To which everybody went.
Hmm?
Ha ha ha.
What's that now?
Ha ha ha.
That's terrible.
Holy shit.
All right, so let's talk about John's side of the story.
Okay.
Because we did get some of that today.
John claims he wasn't drunk.
But wait, he's spitting that guy's face.
He did spit in that guy's face. I don't think a purpose. I think he's just
spitting. I think it was just a rule. Yeah. All right. He just came out. Gotcha.
All right. Yeah. That happens. Sorry to interrupt. See, John, we defended you.
Correct. I just, I just think you're a gross person that has saliva flying out of
your mouth at all times. It's incidental. Yeah. But I'm starting to think the whole
standing there yelling he's trashing my kids was John feeling he's on home turf
You know jerseys like Long Island, right if these people here. Oh my god
Somebody was trashing someone's kids. But everyone's gonna stop playing the slots. Wow. You're right
You're right about that. He's like this is East Coast. You don't belong here Melton. Yeah, he was talking about how he was wasn't sure if he's going to go or not, but it'd
be fun for the fans. Yes. I didn't see any fans in that video. No, I didn't either. So
let's see what they arrived Saturday. Okay. All right. John is not having a good time.
Let's look through his recent Twitter feed. Hey devilverse people, I came here for fun,
but so far it has been nonstop incitement.
I'm not a violent person,
but it's getting close to outright harassment.
This whole thing has been a debacle from the start.
And then this one, hey fatty, fatty email me,
I'll give you my room number, then we can talk.
So that right there is tough guy talk.
To tough guy email.
Yeah.
And John even sounded on his show this morning
that he called Patrick Michael's room at 3 email. Yeah. And John even said on his show this morning that he called
Patrick Michael's room at 3am to wake him up or something like that. What did I say?
Patrick Michael. Patrick Michael. Patrick Melton. God damn it. Too many people. Some more names.
And then he says, Hey man, Vince, the lawyer is a legitimate asshole that I could single handedly
get him disbarred for playing my messages or my message without consent.
California is a two-party state. Stay tuned.
John got very upset with Vince the lawyer for a number of reasons.
One of them being he didn't realize that John left a voicemail for Vince
and Vince sent it to Shulie and Shulie played it on the BS show yesterday morning.
And John didn't realize that that happened. He got very upset about that.
But that was just the beginning of what he's mad about Vince for.
The other thing is Vince gave out the room number to Atlantic
City on his show. So as soon as John checked in and got in the room,
the phone starts ringing.
Yes.
Which is hilarious.
It is hilarious. Even after it's unplugged. Yeah.
No. But the other thing is, and this is the thing that I've
been trying to tell John this, he wouldn't listen to me.
Vince is trolling you.
He's not your friend.
No, he's my friend, Carl.
He literally said that.
He's more my friend than he is your friend.
Oh.
It's all you, buddy.
That's what this is about.
So there was a guy who called into Vince's show who said,
because Vince convinced John to fly to Philadelphia, still spirit airlines
for some reason, but okay.
LAX to Philadelphia, then take the train from Philly to Atlantic City.
But then a fan called into Vince's show and says, John, I'll pick you up from the Philly
airport and drive you there.
Where are you going to be?
What terminal?
So Vince photoshopped the terminal that John was going to land at to send this guy to the
wrong place.
This is how John airport or the airport. Yeah. You said the Newark. He said, Oh, right.
He sent the guy to Newark to go pick John up. But John was flying into Philly. So Vince
has been fucking with John nonstop since he's since he's been there. And and none of this
actually helps Vince out yet. Vince should be waiting until he gets there
with his camera guy to be doing all this shit,
in my opinion, but I don't know how to troll John.
What do I know?
I have a theory for you Vince is there
and that's who plugged the phone back in.
Oh, okay.
I actually have that clip and then we'll get back to this.
This is from this morning's show,
John from his hotel room.
Not.
Look at his room. Not.
Look at his look. Yes, there's no video.
You know, I unplugged every phone.
How do I even know how it could ring?
Christmas morning all over again.
It's unbelievable.
Hello.
My refrigerator is running. Why? Yes.
Tonight that he has a suite, I guess. Yes.
He had to move out of this place. I'm plugging in. I thought
I unplugged the thing, but I guess I did.
Someone was appointed back in according to Cardiff's theory there.
Thank you Christian Black for sending me over a couple of clips from this morning.
I appreciate it.
So, yeah, so John's now mad at Vince.
That didn't go well today.
Then he says a guy from Maryland said he traveled all the way to see me, got here and called me a has been.
Why come?
Because it's satisfying.
Because you didn't read the super chats I sent you that said the same thing.
Oh, this is funny.
This is a tweet from John.
Hey man, I'm here alone.
Where are all these tough guys?
This is the same guy who also posted, it's been nothing but people trying to incite me
and I'm not violent.
Like, which is it?
Which do you want to have happen here?
Carl, you know I'm not one to butter your buns.
Yes.
Ever.
But I was listening, it was probably a week or two ago you were doing the show and I was
listening and you started talking about, can you imagine some film director, some director
in Hollywood, some writer is like like we should get John for this project
Let's see what he's up to and start scrolling through this Twitter feed
And again, it's every fucking day. It's the same
He has no good day that they could look at his Twitter feed and think he did that wire this guy
He did that one tweet where he's just like for people who don't know about the dabble verse
I have these people are fucking with me. Is it people are gonna be scrolls?
Oh, okay, that justifies all of this. All right now dabble verse. I have these people who are fucking with me. Is it people who are gonna be scrolled to others and be like, oh, okay,
that justifies all of this.
All right, now I get it.
I texted you Thursday
when you were just getting done with socials.
I'm like, are you watching John?
Yeah.
Not yet.
I'm like, I feel like it's all going down,
but I say that every day.
Right.
Yeah, it did.
Seen it at the beginning of the ad for sure.
Every fucking day.
Unbelievable.
So, then he writes down here, by the way, make no mistake, I
never called for security. I wanted to beat his ass right
there. More tough guy, John. I'm sure you'll get another
chance at it. If you really want to. He talked to security
immediately. I'm not saying that he ran over to the security
desk. But as soon as security got there, because he's the one
and someone made this point and they're spot on
John is making a big spectacle of himself. Sure. He's yelling. He's pointing. He's jumping around
He's gonna bring security over he knows that he wanted to get shut down before he gets his ass kicked
Correct that whole the guy was holding him back. Yeah. Yeah. He's half ass
I have hardly like putting his hand up. Yeah, this guy wasn't here
As I have heartedly like putting his hand up. Yeah, this guy wasn't here right mountain
Patrick Bell towers over him. It's all show. He must have Patrick Melton must have a buck 50 on John and John's not a skinny guy and his
Justin is back
Although I gotta say as much as everyone's making fun of Patrick Melton and being fat and bad posture.
He kind of looked like a slim Tim Dillon to me.
I don't know. I'm watching this video. I'm like, it's not that bad. What are you guys talking about?
So then Paulino, but whatever.
So then he says, so a whole altercation just transpired.
Fatty Patty had five other fat fucks tried intimidating me.
Back down like the shit, way up. No.
This is a big victory for John in his mind.
Of course.
This whole altercation.
The other thing too, he's so stupid.
And I point this out because he loves to...
Go ahead, Cardiff.
But again, he kept making the comparison
and he played the video over and over again
him going after Shuley.
Yeah.
In the hotel there.
Shuley didn't want to talk to you because he would get fired. Right. For talking to
you. Right. No, it's a job. He was protecting. Shuli talking to
John in that scenario would do nothing positive for Shuli.
It could only do negative things for him. Yes. Could you
imagine how it gets the tape? The first question is isn't
it ironic that John Hine now works for the show that jumped
the shark? If Shuli would have even that, Howard would have lost his mind.
Shuey, you think this show jumped the shark?
It's like you can't win with that.
So he didn't respond.
And now John, like he always does, picks one thing that happened in history and uses that
forever.
He's like a chick.
It's like arguing with a chick.
Yeah, but remember on our third date
when you said that my Aston looked great?
Or whatever stupid thing they hold onto or fucking ever.
Let go, John, move on.
Where everyone's moving on with their lives now.
So John was tweeting a spirit airline,
see who's very upset about this.
He's just swinging at anything.
He didn't play and he wrote this.
And the reason why I point this out is because he loves to correct
everyone for being, you know, stupid and grammar and
everything else. 37,000 miles in the air at your spirit
airlines delayed my fight from the last night so bad I could
never get my connecting. Two problems with that sentence. Yes,
I could never get my connecting connecting what also
probably 37,000 feet
Yeah, 37,000 miles is uh to the moon out of the atmosphere. Yeah, that would be so that'd be impressive
So 13 times across the country. Yeah, I just know the fuck you talking about with that
So and then he writes I ended up going home from LA Today, the flight was delayed an hour. I'm so pissed.
An hour's not that bad.
And then spirit responded like, can we help you?
You know, and they gave him like a hundred dollar voucher or something.
Is your fucking Uber fare?
Get over it.
Get asshole.
It really is just the worst.
So let's talk about this falling out with Vince the loser,
because John was very upset that he betrayed his trust
and John just can't believe that he left
this private voicemail for Vince
and Vince would just share that with his arch nemesis,
his enemy, Shuley, like that.
I mean, I wasn't surprised,
but for some reason, Suthering John,
who's a mental member and a 165 Q was, he didn't think that was going
to happen. I can't believe it. So somebody super chats him and
says, maybe you should apologize to Carl who told you that
Vince is trolling you all along.
Mr. Sprinkles, thanks for the five Carl from W A to P tried to
warn you about this lawyer. Carl was trying to help you. You
should apologize. Okay, seriously, no, I've only,
I don't need Lady Kay to tell me that this lawyer is a troll.
I mean, it doesn't take anyone with even
below average intelligence to know
like Carl has to know that this is a way to troll.
We all know this way as a troll.
Well, then how come I'm not the one getting duped by him
and you are?
You realize that this isn't a good argument when
you're sitting there in the hotel room that he paid for getting
the phone being ringing off the hook that he leaked out. So
people would fuck with you. He put out the room number he put
out. Obviously before he was on he was doing all this shit.
No one people were gonna fuck with John when he got there. Oh,
that was the other thing too that John was really upset about.
We talked about it on point dabble point yesterday
is Vince went John called into Vince's show from LAX
and Vince is going,
Shulie keeps texting me,
he doesn't believe you're at LAX,
he thinks you're lying.
You gotta take a photo of your receipt and the menu.
And so John outed himself on all these different things
that Vince immediately shared to everyone.
He's like, and then Sh that surely wasn't even texting him.
I can't know.
Shit.
We all do that.
You're the only one who did you more on meanwhile, you're the guy ad nauseam has been saying,
do not fuck with him.
Just let him out himself as the boob that he is.
You don't have to control the situation.
He'll he'll humiliate himself.
We'll fuck everything.
He's got us.
Yes. It's a more. But at this point, it's what can I get from him? control the situation he'll humiliate himself fuck everything he's done yes
but at this point it's what can I get from him oh and that's what that's a
terrible way to thank John okay I'm gonna crack you right there again like a
chick but but this is this is crazy he's like man this guy he's like fucking
Wiley Coyote he's like I'm pot committed at this point. I'm gonna catch that goddamn road runner.
Who fucking kills me?
It's like, no, stop.
Change courts.
It's not working out.
You're losing.
You lose every fucking time.
Yeah.
Anyone with even below average intelligence to know,
like Carl has to know that Vince Lloyd is a troll.
We all know Vince Lloyd is a troll.
But at this point, it's what can I get from him?
And that's what it's all about to me.
You all say I'm too cheap to buy for a room.
Now, let's see how much I can get Vince to spend.
So the troll is on, is me trolling him.
Ha ha ha, this is a miracle.
This guy can turn, I haven't watched this clip yet.
This guy can turn anything around so that he's the winner
He was just complaining on this episode about how much Vince was trolling him and how upset he was about it
I was like seeing it should have learned from Carl and he's like no no no I'm winning though. I'm so winning
I'm the Roadrunner meep meep
In all actuality I I paid for shit.
Yeah, no shit.
Why start now?
Seamock says that Vince blocked room service.
L. O. L.
That's right.
I didn't hear him talking about that.
They was trying to get food
set to the room and that that's not happening either.
And then one more clip from today.
Christian Blatt sent me over and John mentioned
because he's such a class act that Stuttering John Melendez. He goes, oh, yeah, I've been
to AC a few times, memorable times. In fact, I think we conceived one of my kids here in
Atlantic City, me and Susanna. Someone asked him about that about that and of course he has to talk about gross sex story stuff.
James what position use conceiving.
I can't remember I think
missionary or doggie stop.
I know we had sex she was at the sink.
To do this is one I believe that was one orgasm. And then then we went to the bed and had sex on the bed.
So I could have many of the one.
What a class act.
On if you want more of that easy for you to say paperback, we had pussy sex.
I blew it a pussy in case you wanted to know how that works.
This has been up here for a while.
I'm sorry, but Kinky Loco.
Remember for 10 months, thank you.
Kinky Loco says congratulations on your first of you.
Hey, T.P. Cardiff.
Thank you, Kinky Loco.
That was a big deal for sure.
And before I can't get enough dicks in my body,
before we get off of the stuttering John Saga,
I did want to play this video from Baloney Factory,
who has been creating just the greatest videos,
and everyone should check out Baloney Factory on YouTube,
because he's been putting together more videos
with Carl from Aquitaine.
And I'm just gonna let this one breathe,
because the pauses he puts in are perfect.
It really does fit the feel of Aquitaine Hunger
Force. And the female voice here is Keanu, Geno's fiance.
Strikes are coming.
I don't think Kevin.
You think Kebolody Factory is going to be upside with me?
No, no, I'm saying from John. He's going to strike.
It's not transformative at all.
I don't think Kevin is going to have anyone's back.
So.
No.
No. No.
No.
Oh, trust me.
When he sees me in AC, he's not going to be the tough guy
that he is on the air.
Trust me.
Oh, I know.
Trust me.
He will walk away from me.
He's not like he is behind a screen with his fast food microphone. I like mini Paulino who just laughed at one of my jokes.
It's so perfect.
Even the detail of the Lawrence Taylor helmet in the background at the lamp.
What is a manga?
Kim Kardashian is with Pete Davidson because he's the new flavor of the SNL. The new face of SNL, Pete Davidson, because he's the new flavor of Esenel.
The new face of Esenel, Pete Davidson,
with his beanpole body.
Please people, subscribe to my buddy.
I was at the commissary, that's like the cafeteria at NBC,
where I ate for free.
All right, great job, Lordy Fatter. You also definitely check that out. Where I eat for free.
Great job. Bloody factor.
You should definitely check that out.
So I guess everyone's in Atlantic City now.
I've heard from my brother and sister-in-law who have seen Chad
hung out with Chad, I was Patrick Melton.
Everyone's out and about now.
You had the big comedy show tonight.
Wait, Chad did go.
Chad's there.
Oh, that wasn't going. There was such a needy bitchy tweet that he put out.
Where I hate anyone who puts on social media like,
well, I guess that's it for me.
We'll see what happens.
You know, just like these open things where everyone's going
to be like, Oh, what happened though?
What's going on?
Like, shut up.
Fuck out of here.
Get your shine box.
Yeah. But yeah, so everyone's there. Like shut up fuck out of here get your shine box
But yeah, so everyone's there so a lot's gonna transpire over the next two days We have to know who's not an AC who's not an AC
Stuttering John's new laptop. That's true. He brought his old laptop with him. Why was that?
I think he just wanted to announce that his brand new MacBook Pro is sitting alone in Kenoga Park
Because you cannot do one thing right in his life
And don't worry it's a gay community. It'll be fine. Dummy. What a fucking idiot. That's really funny
All right, I want to bring in my
Future ex-wife, Kendi. Hey, Kendi
Congratulations guys. How's it going sweetie? No, that's never
happening. Oh, God, stop. You're saying you wouldn't divorce Carl? Yeah, come on. You wouldn't marry him in the first place. You want to stay together forever?
Carl and Kendi. Stay with me. Together forever. All right. Yeah. One IUD is supposed to last for at least five years.
Yeah. So 30 years worth of IUDs. What's the future?
That's a lot of common at their batley, I guess. I guess not.
I guess it wears out after a couple months or something. That was weird, right?
We need more reinforcements. And the genius medical student thinks that UTIs are genetic genetic. Yeah, she can have a genetic predisposition to infections in general, but
I'm guessing that when she was 13 because she said she said that she had sex with a lot of older men
When she was younger guys in the 30s and 40s probably some dirty dicks. Yeah, the homeless guy you think
Yeah, the homeless guy lives out of his car.
Yeah, where does he bathe specifically?
Yeah.
Wind shield fluid.
And the amount of antibiotics she said she's taken,
she's got diseases she doesn't even know about right now.
Because those stop working.
I didn't even play you the strep thing she talked about.
No, you did.
Well, no, she explains is the type of strep she got is the kind of
lives in your intestines and she had to go on hardcore antibiotics to fuck with
her stomach.
Like she went into this whole that she got a yeast infection from it.
I was like, this is so bad to bring up.
This is not appealing in any single way.
Yeah, it's a sexual dysentery.
Yes.
There's a cock in her intestine. Yeah, it's a. So hot. Yes. Yes. There's a cock in her intestine.
Yeah, probably.
So kidding.
That's not your type.
Gross.
Well, you can still win a date with Lucy tight box.
I will win that even if I have to kill someone.
Wow.
It's amazing.
Are you going to be in Tampa with us?
No, Kindi.
No, I told you I'm not.
That's where the date's going down.
But I will tell you this.
God damn it.
Well, maybe we can arrange something
because I hear that you're going to be in Rochester
for subreddit surfing.
That's right.
I am.
Good news, everyone.
See Vinny and his best bud.
What's the good callback?
What's the URL again?
Carlsoncomedy.com.
Carlsoncomedy.com. Marchsoncomedy.com March 9th.
Come to lovely Rochester, New York and see subreddit surfing live with the All Apologies
podcast.
And I guess Cardiff is writing a stand up routine for me or something.
It's almost complete.
Oh boy.
It's almost ready.
So I have lots of time to polish it up.
All right. Let's let's play a game, shall we? I have lots of time to polish it up.
All right, let's play a game, shall we? I think it's time for everyone's favorite game show.
Oh, wait.
Can I pause everyone for a second?
Actually, we have a different show today.
Yeah, I'm excited about this.
But when you do stand up and we release the footage,
nobody tell John, just tell John this is legitimately Carl doing stand up and we release the footage, nobody tell John.
Just tell John this legitimately Carl doing stand up.
Good. Please, everybody.
Good.
Please.
Okay, ruin it.
Hey, you know what I'll do to I'll have a bad haircut that day.
That'll also fuck with John.
Frost, please.
Frosters hips.
Can I write the mandolin into the sketch?
For once I have a bad haircut.
Yeah, write the mandolin in. Okay, you're bringing the mandolin into the sketch? For one time a bad haircut. Yeah, write the mandolin in.
OK, you're bringing the mandolin and mark to the ninth Carl.
How many jokes you have about my old wife at this sad carnival?
She she she she catches no shrapnel. Don't worry.
All right.
So you brought in another episode of To Catch an Alien,
which I'm very excited about because I actually talked
to someone who's friends with Tommy
on the telephone this week.
And I learned a lot, not a lot that I could talk about
at this time, but I learned a lot.
And I'm even more excited about Tommy
than I ever was before.
It turns out, okay, I'll tell you this,
this is one thing I learned.
I gotta tell you something, right one thing I Gotta tell you something right?
This blew my fucking mind good
English is his first language. Oh, he did grow up in Philadelphia. No shit. How is that possible?
He doesn't understand basic concepts
Very basic. It's unbelievable to me
So anyway, let's get to the game shall we? Yes. I love this game. It's time to me. So anyway, let's get to the game. Shall we? Yes, I love this game.
It's time for everyone's fave vacation.
Quick join your cocksucker.
To catch an alien.
That's right. Tommy's back.
Yeah.
Are you ready to catch an alien?
Paddles.
You can still build a six, seven figure business
affordably and do it within your own budget.
So that's what Focus Music University is about.
It's about man being able to go ahead
and put yourself in power and to build your team
and scale up, man, scale up based off of your budget.
Make it possible, right?
And you're gonna be teaching and consulting and all that.
And you're not gonna be one of these like speaker guys
that goes and shakes you down.
Don't get me started on these speakers.
You love those guys.
The speaker?
Oh yeah, I love speakers.
Life coaches, life coaches.
Life coaches, yeah.
The life coach, the shake.
The life coach.
The life coach.
I don't like the tweeters, I don't like the woofers.
It shakes you down for a couple grand and then goes and blows it up his nose or gambles it away
And that says the same thing for the next 10 years. They're life coaches. Oh life coaches. I forgot I forgot
I forgot focus life coaches. Yeah. Yeah, they take all my parking spots when I need a hotel
I used to go back and forth with Philly and I won't name his name just because of the situation
I'm in and every time and I know this prick from Philly and
Every time I would stop halfway this guy would be sold out and I know what I know what he does
You know, he's a shake down. He's what did Tommy say next here are your choices?
number one a
con man cowboy.
B, a grifting grifter.
Next, bullshit painter.
Thor, fugeis fugezi.
Lastly, a hustlin' hustler.
Oh, wow. To catch an alien. Wait, all right. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I do have it narrowed down. Okay. And I'm gonna say Grifting grifter. I'm going with be grifty grifter. What say you producer Chris? I went with number four
Fugazi Fugazi. All right, and
Kendi, what do you think? I? Think it's number one calm man cowboy. All right
And away we go this guy would be sold out and I know what I know what he does
You know, he's a shake down. He's a full gaze. He is full gaze
I was do well done sir
Street here, maybe I don't know
Focus I would get so pissed because I had no parking spot and I knew he was just a dirt bag, you know, but
But uh, so the focus university right now
If you get us what 600 bucks pull up again quick. Oh, no
And what's that's been a good job of selling this thing? Nope
A lot of the people this is just ripping you off. So what's the price of yours 600?
That sounds reasonable
And he's only angry at the other guy because she was the hotel was busy when he was there, right?
So the focus university right now if you get us what 600 bucks pull up again
quick six hundred bucks and what can somebody expect and I'm a walk you step
by step man how to set up your business man we even start off man like I said
as simple as your LLCs your contracts your infrastructure man we get into
everything as far as how to go ahead
and optimize, man.
For 600 bucks?
So like, if I didn't have Google, you're saying I could use you
as a resource for this?
A phone.
A friend.
Instagram.
Yeah, but let me tell you why I did that, right?
There's so many people that look like myself
that I had to try to make it reasonable, right?
And so I know that I'm giving you 20, 30, 40 grand worth of value. My job is to over deliver and everything is going to take
care of itself, right? So if I can get 10,000 people, man, to come in at $600, it's going
to take care of itself, right? You understand what I'm saying?
It's only six million bucks.
The regular price goes back up, man, July 4th. That's going to be my Independence Day, guys.
Should be around $14 to $1500.
That's all for this time.
Come back next time to find out if you
have the focus university education enough to catch an alien.
Subreddit surfing live Saturday, March the 9th.
Comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York.
Get your tickets now at Carlson comedy dot com.
Sit Eugene, sit. Good dog.
The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of all the games that we play, although we did talk about potentially bringing back who said it on Wednesday shows, but I'll leave it up to Cardiff. I trust his judgment on
how to manage this stuff. Guys, what have we done today? I feel like we've done it all.
We talked about Stella Berry, the anal princess, and what's up next for her is double anal
and double veg. I give her credit for trying both. That's amazing. Kendi, which would you prefer?
I would prefer not getting a kidney infection. All right. And then we talked about Tom Myers versus
the rest of the world. I like the way she plays a lot. And then I talked about Kevin Brennan for
half a second. Stuttering John in Atlantic City versus Patrick Melton. This couldn't be playing.
I also, I sent the link to Rocco.
I thought, you know, if he's there
and he wants to tell us what's going on,
a little boots on the ground reporting.
I don't know where he's at, but we all landing shortly.
Okay. He's not there yet.
So we all thought this was going to be
a whole big fucking nothing.
Like the last time everyone got together in Atlantic City
and they just stood around staring at each other
and my sister behind it would be like,
well, let's get some tables and some apps or something.
So it's already started off with explosions and fireworks.
So who knows what today holds.
Yes.
On point table point, I predicted it would be boring, but I also said I'm often wrong.
So you did.
That's correct.
We got the comedy show tonight.
Anything that could happen there or did it peak too soon?
That's also a possibility.
Yes. But I feel like there's animosity now between John and Patrick
Melton because John's still fired up about this incident.
Yeah.
Patrick does not so much.
Not so much.
I think he's going to sleep.
Okay.
He's fine.
But it seems like, uh, suddenly John is going to get his crew.
His crew's coming in hitman Dan and Don and
Vince is such a
Such a weasel when John said yeah hitman Dan and his wife Don are gonna be there Vince had his throat their last name
Okay, and then John's buddy Mark from Canada
It's gonna be there. I think he said I don't know. Yeah, it's a new character
He's online girlfriend from Canada. It's a know. Yeah, it's a new character. He's online girlfriend from Canada
It's a new yeah, there's a new character involved
So we'll see what happens anyway Chris was able to catch an alien so what that means aside for everyone's favorite part of the show
This is part of the show we tease the podcast that we'll be reviewing on the next episode of where these podcasts.
And of course we have a midweek episode.
Lucy type box is back from her vacation.
So it'll be the usual Wednesday crew myself, producer Chris, trucker Andy.
I'm still calling him trucker Andy.
It's fine.
Okay.
And Lucy type box and we'll be competing to find who can find the worst podcast in
the music commentary category
Not just music. I know one. I know one commentary. What do you got the WATP music special? That's not music commentary
That's a celebration of my amazing
I just realized though, you don't even know what you said Carl. Oh, please please. The tease is where you tease the podcast that you're going to tease.
That's true. Think about it. Shink about. Yeah, I fucked that all up.
Did I? I mean, tease a podcast.
I just tease a podcast category.
So used to saying that line, but I just still do it because I'm an idiot.
So what is it? Music commentary, music commentary is an actual category
within the Apple podcasts. And would I happen to pop on I was telling you last night my favorite
band socks or your favorite band socks or whatever and that show has gotten so
far downhill like what other assholes around the internet just saying that
good music sucks if you're interested to hear what that's like maybe she's talking
the week we'll get in there who knows yeah who knows what's gonna show up for
the music comment commentary from your last
episode will end up on dude fucking huesy man if I ever see him in Atlantic
City yeah I didn't like your jokes that is literally what the guy said to me
from the misfits I don't even know he's in the misfits I don't like your jokes
like everyone else did I'm sorry it's barely the misfits. I don't like your jokes. Like, oh, everyone else did. I'm sorry. Who are you?
It's barely the misfits anymore.
I know.
It's Jerry only.
A couple other people, but.
Yeah.
Are you a misfits fan, Kendi?
Yeah.
I mean, what a bitch.
Where did we find this person?
I got something to say.
Oh, God.
Everyone's got to get say. Oh, God, everyone's gotta get out.
All right.
Let's, guys, please join us again next time.
It might be the episode we find out what's up for all.
Who are these podcasts?
Sleep well, everypony.
Partying in the mosh pit of morning radio.
And now the show is over now.
OK.
Great show. Good job, town. OK, great show.
Good job, everybody.
Great job, everyone.
No net news today, right?
Bad news, everyone.
Yes, Lucy's out of town,
so we don't have a net news segment,
but we appreciate all the participation
in the subreddit, the Discord, Facebook.
Where else do you pull from YouTube?
Oh, yeah, lots of conversations going on online about WTP. And we do appreciate
that. We try to highlight the best ones in our net news segment.
Let's skip right ahead to our recent reviews. Can we have new
reviews? Yeah, you have a bunch. Noice. I like that. Thank you
everyone for reviewing the show. Five stars, please. And then
shit all over us so that kindy can get a chuckle because this is a miserable person who goes through life
with a frown on her face.
She needs a good laugh from time to time.
Only when you see me.
Yeah, wow, good point.
I wouldn't know what you're like when I'm not around.
It's kind of like when you're focusing on something
that behaves differently than if you're not looking at it.
I'm like a science teacher, like Stettering Jen.
Boom.
All right, ready? Yep.
Okay, this is by Lobo 1187. It is titled Chompers is hilarious. Love this show and have been to both Detroit shows. Keep it up Chompers and get us some
kindie pics. Fuck yeah. I like everything he said except for the word chompers.
I love that. That's the best part.
Yeah, I thought you would like that.
All right. So kindie pics are coming when?
Never.
And there was a five star live at Yes. Very good. All right. And
then this next one doesn't have a title. It's called the
Fantastic Four of podcast. We're saying led by Carl a.k.a.
Mr. Frosted Tips and Sue type box storm. Okay. I'm going to
guess that's a five star. Yes. No one calls me Mr. Frosted Tips. That's my father's name.
I'm done.
All right.
No, that works.
I want to leave some so any can read them.
I appreciate that.
So yes, and I believe.
Can't stomach any more five star garbage.
Can you?
There is a one star.
I'm being nice today.
Just saying that one for Cardiff.
I believe Hannah, unfortunately, was at the vet today.
But I believe Hannah will be back on Saturday.
She tells me that a lot though.
So she got worms.
I can hold my breath.
What was she eating?
Hey, boss girl.
I'm Maddie Buskis.
Just wanted to route you to the WATP Family Bill Cripp.
Hit me up anytime.
I'm just a devil,
looking for a partner.
Someone who knows how to read
with great big flintz on us?
There's a question that's coming in here for you, Kendi.
Is Kendi poor?
Why is she sitting at that old desk?
You mean the desk right here that I'm not sitting at?
I guess.
So that's like a Centering John answer.
I'm not actually even sitting at that shitty desk.
Next question. That's my writing desk. It's an antique and my brother painted on it.
Oh, well, that's a good answer. That's a very good answer.
It's pottery. It's not pottery bar. I am sitting in an Ikea station.
Manny says, I hate this fucking song. Why this song rules Manny? What are you talking about?
You don't even know what you've done here. All
right. Let's, uh, let's fly through some voicemails here.
Hey, Carl, this is John Manny. Back in episode three 54, you were patting yourself on the
back for getting the ball to the 99th yard line. This is incorrect. Even though a football
field is 100 yards, it's demarcated in the middle by the
50 yard line, which decreases to zero in either direction. You can learn more about football
at your local library. Take a look in a book.
Motherfucker. I was making fun of Dick Masterson, who's not a sports who said they bubble to
the 99th yard line. I explained to him it's a one yard line. And then I say that as a joke now.
How dare you, sir.
Okay.
And everyone knows the football field is 110 yards.
Well, it actually might be 120, right?
Cause each end zone 10, there's two of them.
Or you're talking about Canadian football fields.
Move on.
I don't know why I'm back in the cocky.
I lost a Super Bowl trivia to Bobo
Daniel Bobo from
Opian Anthony beat me. I want to show Thursday night
You had no chance with my night. Yeah, I know Bobo. He's not he wanted to take me
He wanted to give me a guided tour of the Met's Hall of Fame. Oh
wanted to take me. He wanted to give me a guided tour of the Met's Hall of Fame.
Oh, that's what I was like, no chance in hell.
Did you guys go to a Mets game together with Stevie Lou and Bobo?
Yeah, that's right.
I forgot about that.
That's cool. I do love city field. OK.
Shitty field.
What do you like?
Oh, that's right. The Misfits and the Yankees clearly an antique
desks. Hey, Carl. Um, long time, first time or was it first time long time? Whatever. Um,
at 157 44, the news repeats itself. So I know a few months ago, everyone was talking about iTunes fucking up or you were accusing iTunes of fucking up.
I just want to let you know it happened again. And I triple checked because I didn't want you to call me an asshole.
Go fuck yourself. Hi, Andy.
Sorry, producer Chris. I caught it as well.
Yeah, it was all me. It happens from time to time. Chris has a lot to add it. It is true. If you've ever heard Lucy do the news live.
You know, there's a lot going on there. Mike Cut says, send Melton the link.
He just wrote that. He does have the link. I sent it to him a little while ago.
If he's got something to talk about, I was told that he's somewhere where it's loud.
So I'm not sure. Also, Andrea Brower is here. I want to say hi to Andrea who let me know she's coming to our live show in Lurgo
Nice got tickets and we'll see Andrea at the show. That's very cool
It's the real Andrea shows up the real Andrea a lot of fakes out there. No, this is the real one that's coming to the show
I just want to say fuck Stuttering John because I
listen to the
flashback to the old Stutter and John
review and Opie.
And Jen listening to ONA back in the day, she's a keeper, Carl.
I know you know that, but I just feel bad because I can imagine her going to play with
the traveling virus or some shit.
And they haven't used drunk buffoon yelling.
Whip them out! Whip them out! some shit and never have you drunk. A fool and yelling.
Whip them out.
Whip them out.
Hey.
Fuck you, bike.
Only on Wednesdays.
Yes, that's correct. That's the day they get to whip them out.
But yes, thank you very much for that.
Jen and I, my wife and I first bonded over opium Anthony.
So that's why she is not upset that I have a hobby
that gets hundreds of people goofing at her.
I mean, a lot of wives wouldn't like this.
A lot of wives is proud about this sort of thing.
And be like, Hey, can you do something that doesn't get, you know,
thousands of people goofing on photos of me?
Nope.
Not going to happen.
I can't wait for Vince, the lawyer to send clip to John said, see, they're okay with
it.
They said it was fine.
Vince the lawyer doctors everything.
He just changed into whatever he wants it to be.
So it doesn't matter.
Carl, please create a world order drop from sputtering John.
I'd be surprised if you didn't after he explained
the difference between T and he spelled T-O-O a million times. I can just see like a Stuttering
John saying, fuck this, fuck it. I'm not leaving these anymore. You're not going to play it
anyway. The hell with it.
Two world order. T-O. O. Stole.
Request granted.
Tookie World Order.
Ooh.
Nice.
That guy called it a couple of times and kept fucking up
and eventually he's just like, you know what?
No, I can't do it.
That's not my God.
Definitely playing that one.
You got it, buddy.
And I'll tell you this.
If you're listening, producer Chris picked up his pencil.
He took a note about that when he said it.
So you must have made a good point.
I wasn't paying attention to him.
You know, I'm listening to the who said it,
where John's like really harping on the, it's T-O-O.
Use the D-A.
And it just makes me think that he must, when he's a substitute teacher, he must just be
the most like insulting evil guy ever to the students.
You know, I had teachers like that and like teacher being a teacher almost is just like
a power trip.
My sister's a teacher and she's kind of a bitch about it.
A lot of times It's my understanding.
But you know, most of the people I hate throughout my life were teachers that were just like vindictive and just like
holding it over, especially the guy teachers and the English teachers too. You know, I had a million teachers that
do stuff like John did. I would just hate to be in his class.
Also review girls, I've noticed too, also suck.
I just hate to be in his class. Also, review girls, I've noticed too, also suck.
You know, it's either that or he just gets nothing done
and he solves this, you know,
rousing it up essentially.
So yeah, anyway, bye.
Could you imagine if John treated his students
the way he treats the Super Chatters?
I would pay good money to watch that.
Oh, all right, class.
I want everyone to pay attention to this paper that Timothy handed in.
Is it fascinating that kids have these days?
Look at what Timothy wrote.
He spelled here.
H-E-A-R.
Oh, you hear?
Timothy?
He wrote, Mr. Melendez is too drunk to teach.
T-O.
Ha ha ha ha ha. You dumb fuck. Mr. Melendez is too drunk to teach
Yeah, fuck
It's gotta be terrible because imagine that asshole lording it over a bunch of like seven-year-old He knows how to spell
Give me your lunch money. Matter Matt calling it. Yo, Carl, matter Matt, I just was listening to the most recent episode
with stuttering John's stupid IQ test and it's like you test I think consistent one of those
like little stupid restaurant games that have tables like a friendly isn't shit we gotta jump the peg over the other pegs if you leave one behind like a genius so
yeah that's the extent of john's fucking test and uh yeah drive in drive out get full off
yeah you know he's probably not far off i remember that from being a kid that friendlies
and he would tell you if you get this many or IQ is between this and this and that many
And he probably dropped out the fours. I got all the pegs out
It didn't
So that's a good observation, sir, I appreciate that
Hey Carl before next Wednesday show you should take an
aggressive lactative and then after show, when Andy is murdering
your asshole, you should lose bodily control of your fluids, turn around, give him a rice
mile and say, let's talk shit. You know, if you want to report the sexy results to your followers and listeners.
I'm sure they'd be okay with that.
This is definitely not Nate from Flint, Michigan.
Nate, that is some weird fan fiction you're coming up with there, sir.
Wow.
One hell of a troll.
Oh, give him that.
That's a weird image to have in your head.
The right smile part.
What do you do after the show?
We usually just go out and grab some food, but.
But sex before the show.
Hi, Carl.
Sharky from Switzerland here.
I was just out swimming in the ocean with my bud.
When a six foot four behemoth came up and boy,
he was yielding a club and he beat me half to death.
I'm in Shark Hospital now, but hope this helps.
Talk to you later.
Goodbye.
Don't look at me.
I think that was trying to help one of the guys in the Lucy Typebox
contest, but I'm not sure which one. I believe we're getting the other side of the interaction.
Right. Yes. Now we're fighting out. God, shark hospitals are so depressing. I know. I hate going to them.
Katie, I hope you're listening closely to this one.
going to them.
Can you help me listening closely to this one?
Hey, Carl, I would like to agree with the dude that phoned last episode
about anything the best review girl.
Really, if you want a job done right, you have to get a man to do it.
Call me back.
Started good.
Started very nice.
But he does a great job. She's here every Wednesday reading reviews for us and being
polite to the host. No fun, which is nice. Nice change of pace
over here. Alright guys, this has been a fun show today. Thank
you all. It's all pay attention to the various channels, Bedabler, MyLossInterest,
BolognaFactory, who else is, and I'll, whoever's reporting on what's going on in Atlantic City
will be excited to see if there's any more fireworks happening tonight. Any predictions,
Cardiff? I think we already talked about it, right?
Yeah, it could go so many directions.
There's there's so many opportunities for this to go in.
Here's here's what I'd be surprised by.
Here's what I'd be surprised by if I wake up suddenly morning and I'm reading on the internet.
Chad Zubak was really good.
Chad was surprisingly funny.
That I'd be like, why didn't see that happening?
That's a shocker right there.
But Kenya, you live near Atlantic City?
Not near, no.
Close enough.
I'm on the complete opposite tip.
I see.
Thank God.
Although I did notice that New Jersey smells way worse
than usual in the past couple of days.
Well, close your legs.
Errr.
Errr.
Errr.
Errr. Er legs. Okay bye. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt!
Bye!
Okay, I do watch that Carly.
Fuck his mom.
Boom.
Boom.
Go fuck yourselves.
Have a good week.
That was a great episode.
That was really great.
He loves me.
He loves me.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I. Boom. Go fuck yourselves. Have a good week.
That was a great episode.
That was really great.
I love you.
I love you.
Okay, bye.
Jesus, I gotta go.
This is getting stupid.
Bye, guys.
Was that you?
No. That was Cardiff.
King of the Drups.
It's pretty much.
Boom!
Jesus Christ.
This one I could not chew horn in today, but this is awesome.
They constantly lie to you, and you people are too stupid to believe it.
I'm too stupid not to believe it.
Wow!
How are you not able to get that one into this
there's so much going on man
alright bye kiddie good to see ya
bye
bye cardiff
galaga
galaga