Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep500 - Mike O'Meara, Boogered Up, Armchair Expert

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

It’s our 500th episode and we’re celebrating with some of our least favorite podcasts from the first 499. We start with the Mike O’Meara Show featuring guys who were on the Don and Mike Show which I think was good back in the day. Then we look at the Boogered Up podcast featuring my favorite real-life Beavis - Spaz Kid. Also, Dax Shepard has been hosting a terrible podcast for years and we’ve been letting him get away with it. We’re joined by Vinnie Paulino, Andy Q. Public, and Kindy to get things rolling. We have a fantastic tribute to our 500th episode from Myster Magenta, Jodie B, Ed the Editor, and Adam Theroux as well as a half-assed tribute from Cardiff Electric. Then Missy B joins the show to discuss Stuttering John calling her a sperm receptacle. After some good natured ribbing with StutJo, Dick Masterson joins us to learn more about the LGBTQ community with Queer Kid Stuff. Also, a round of To Catch An Alien, reviews with Kindy, and your voicemails. Tickets to the live show in Florida on March 22nd! – http://watplive.com Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st – June 2nd – https://www.hackamania.com/ https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://biggestproblem.show/  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. You know what I watched last night? Not the whole thing. There's an Oasis documentary on Max. Oh, okay. I don't know how familiar you are with the band Oasis. I- vaguely, I mean- Yeah, me too. You know they're handsome. They used to be huge and they hate each other. The brothers hate each other. Dude, I got halfway through it. They were getting along fine.

Hahaha, dude. They are the biggest assholes. My wife's like, I don't think I like these guys. I always thought they were pricks. But maybe when we watch this, I'll think differently. No. No. Double down. Oh, they're such fucking pricks, but maybe maybe when we watch this I'll think differently no double down. Oh, there's Cunts yeah, it's ridiculous

To each other just everyone to everyone okay to each other for sure yeah, I like that. What's the story album though? Yeah, it's fucking great. I can get away with being a dick as if you're talented. Yeah, I should listen to it You should don't look back. You know how popular music just goes You probably missed it yet somehow I had found time to get into the Misfits Off at the Misfits talk. I'll kick everyone out of here the table finally gets Always wanted to see that Man of Astro zombies Chris I love that song. Yeah, I heard you singing attitude a little bit a couple episodes ago

Creep off. Yeah, Carl. Yeah. No, I don't kid you know Where Eagles there is a good song. Yeah Pumper it's a pumper deeper jackals pretty baller too. I like that song. Welcome to Misfits talk Yeah, but Danza gets the testicles out of his mouth, he sings those songs really well. I prefer Michael Grage. What? Michael Grage is a better person. This talk is over.

Danzig has a better voice. I say good day sir. Fuck her up. All right, then I guess we're going to get this thing started. Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience an event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage. Episode 500. Are you a boner guy?

Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I miss penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it gonna be absolutely riveting? Is it gonna change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's gonna be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. That's the gayest thing I've ever heard to say that cuz cuz a row cuz a row slap-a-rooney at showtime

W A T P. W A T P. W A T P. Hello, welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, the only show with 499 masterpieces under their belt. I'm your episode 500 host, Karl Hamburger, with me today, a man who is celebrating his 500th pound. From the creep up and summer to surfing, it's Vinny Paulino. Halfway there, everybody. Also with us, a man who is as cool as the cucumber he's sitting on from the All Apologies podcast, Andy Q. Public is here. That's stock

shit. And Kindy's here too. Hi. Please go to whoartthese.com, get our email address, voicemail number, link to our subreddit, link to the Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and the link to Patreon Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. Tomorrow we'll be recording win a date with Lucy Typebox. We have our contestants lined up. We have Lucy lying down and we will have that for everyone. If you sign up on our Patreon Supercast or become a YouTube member,

you get the link to that special episode tomorrow at two Eastern. We'll be doing also tickets are on sale. March 22nd, it's coming up. Couple weeks away. Largo Florida will be live with the guys from ROTC as well as Tukey and Cardiff and the whole gang Joey C is going to be there. The whole gang of all the CETs my favorite. Everyone's gonna be there. So WTBlive.com is where

you want to go to get those tickets. And that actually reminds me I should probably put this banner up to remind everyone to purchase their tickets. And that actually reminds me, I should probably put this banner up to remind everyone to purchase their tickets. It's quality. So he sees just going to be there, right? Correct. OK. Yes. Oh, you'll hear him. Yeah. Joey sees going to be there.

Monique from Radio Gun Top Lobster from Tower Gang is going to be there. It's a whole crew of people hanging out March 22nd. Also, if you do want to hang out in Vegas, I don't know why you would, but if you do, there's so much going on there. Yeah. Why podcasting hackamania.com is where you can go to get your tickets for our live show out in Vegas at the end of May. Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five-star review on Apple podcast and then shit all over us in the comments section. Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called, well, we'll be reviewing a bunch of podcasts because I asked Vinny and Andy to bring one of their favorites from the first 500 and

present that to us. And you know what, Vinny, I'm going to have you go first, my friend, because you brought one of my favorites and that is the Mike O'Mara show. Now, Carl, you and I both were big Don and Mike fans. Yes. My morning would be Howard Stern. I listened to some Don and Mike and then there would be replays of ONA in the evening and I was working all the time. I had that stuff on the radio. I was a big Don and Mike fan. And when Don retired, Mike show fucking cratered and it cratered hard.

Yes. So he went solo. He got, he stopped doing actual radio. I'm assuming that was probably not his choice. I agree. And he starts podcasting. Now this has got to be at least he's been doing it at least a decade now, Carl the podcast. Yeah. So I want to play for you the intro to his show and tell me what issue you hear about a guy who's been podcasting for over a decade. Michael Mara radio entertainment. You can listen to the Michael Mara show at Michael Mara show.com. Let's get started. It's the Mike O'Mara show with Mike O'Mara, Oscar Santana and Rob Spiewak. Now here's Mike.

Rob Spiewak is still with us. Wow. The Spiewak still with them and boy is he a shell of a man that he used to be. But I want to point out the first thing he said is Mike O'Mara show radio entertainment. Yeah. These radio guys, they could not let go of it. It's interesting because Eric Zane is still looking for radio games. I think he does have one or two. Even the Drew and Mike show, they replay their podcast on the weekends on a station out in

Detroit. These radio guys just like they feel weird if they're not on the radio or associated with radio somehow. Yeah, it's such a bizarre thing to me because later you're going to know that Mike is very much aware that he is on a podcast and not on radio. But we're going to get to that. And it's a very weird thing that that's in the opening. But he opens up the show. This episode, folks, this is their newest episode has kind of a somber tone. Okay, I would call it boring. picked up our 500. No, no, I got you. I got. So I want you to see this weird energy and Mike explains to everybody that there's a

question that everybody asks. Everybody. It's Thursday and the gang's back together. Yay, hi Oscar. Yay. Hello. Yay rah rah. Hello America. One of the weird things about this business of show that we're all in is that, you know,

part of our jobs, I ask people constantly, probably the number one question that we all get asked. Anybody want to guess what it is? The question they all get asked? Why are you still doing this? How are you still alive? Before I try to predict that, I just have to point out, he's always been an old guy. But man, he looks like a combination between Barry Ribs and Mike Busciotti. Low blow, sir. When I saw that at first, I was like, is that a muppet?

What's going on? He's got like a titleist, old man, golfers hat on and an underarmor shirt, even though I'm positive he's hasn't been to a gym ever. Also, I like that they had to tell Oscar that the show had started because he's just looking down like Oscar here. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

I'm here. Uh, right. It's like, Oh yeah, I got it. I'm here. No Oscar's wearing a nice blazer, a dress shirt. And then you got Mike in his under armor and then you got Rob Spiewak under there in a hoodie. I didn't even recognize Rob Spiewak. He looks completely different. Yeah. But do you guys want to guess what the question that they get asked all the time?

I forgot about that. I have no idea what that would be. Andy ever thought about that? How do you find the show? Where is the show? Oh, no. Nobody asked for that. How's Don doing?

Ah, yes. How's Don doing with his lawsuit? But the answer is stupider than that. Go ahead, Carl. What's the show about? What's the show about? And it's diminished from podcasting has become part of the fabric of our lives more. I'm getting less of is it politics? Is it sports? And, you know, and I always say the same, the same pad answer, which is busting each other's balls, when what I really should say is the show is about our lives, our feelings, uh, our mistakes, our successes, our loves are.

Don't you think it's as shit? I hate that. Yeah. We're just going to talk about our days. Do that at home. Yeah. Can you imagine this is the opening of your show? I've been going 10 years and the thing is everybody's asking me what the fuck is this? And his answer is I don't know. Yeah, we live. We laugh. We love.

So my next clip, though, they start talking about the podcasting angle of things. And Mike gets a little annoyed at a comparison that Oscar makes, so go ahead. What about, it's like Howard Stern without the sex or the success. That's very funny, but it's also, you know, in the land of branding.

Yes. You know, I don't wanna take second fiddle to anybody on that. I'd rather have, and really, no disrespect to Howard, who's still a mega person. Sex-hack-hiddle who's like a great place to be I think really if we're in the world of podcasting we should say it's like Joe Rogan Joe Rogan complete belief of every conspiracy theory on the planet she

you walked right into that one because of these guys are there so out of touch they're like radio equals Howard Stern and podcasting equals Joe Rogan I knew it right. I don't know you're not second fiddle. You're not even 50 second fiddle No, you're way down the list that you are putting your show in any level with either of them is a crime It's the same how many views does have on YouTube did you look more than subreddit surfing? So at least 30 they're doing great over there Doing well, I mean I can't argue with them. Yeah, so What the fuck happened to Rob Shabuack? Listen to this Carl

But you know, I always discuss it. I always decide I say I explained I say we're basically a one-hour Murder procedural show what about solve a crime every day. What about this? It's like info wars without the info and without the war She's a guy and the jokes. Yeah, wow I hope I hope the executive that you're pitching this elevator pitch On the top floor because it's taking you all day to explain what your fucking show is about. The other shows that we do, it's a very easy answer. You know, Carl, what's your show about? Vinny, what's your show about?

There's an answer. Right. This is what this is. This is the problem with radio guys. And I've said it many times before, but when you have a frequency and you have a time slot, people will hear you because they get in their car and they have that frequency. They like the music that station plays or whatever reason. And so it doesn't matter what you do. You just get out and shoot the shit with a podcast. Yes, you have to have a format.

So people give a fuck about it. Everybody can't show up every day and just turn on the microphones and talk and look at each other and make anything interesting. That's the problem here. Yes. But here they the sponsors on this show. Are they making? Yeah, they're kind of like bullshit sponsors, though. Are they local sponsors? Are they Washington? Sponsors of Washington sponsors and it's a long read.

It's always funny. Jim's landscaping. You know, yeah, you have to really, really do well by the local advertisers because they know where you live and they'll just say, I'm not giving you a check when you show up to pick it up. Yeah. But look at, we got 130 views on that last video that we did. You see this picture of these three people. I know I'm playing guessing games, but I told you this was a somber episode. Something very serious happened to one of these people this week.

One of these three men had a stroke. Okay. And as a hospital, I'm not kidding you. I'm not making this up. Would you like to guess which one of them had the stroke? I'm going to guess it's Ross B. whack. Just because when he said that they solve a murder case. Well, yeah, they had to kill someone off this season. The answer is Oscar. Oh my God. Wow. Really? I had a stroke. The guy with the nice jacket on who's sitting there had a stroke like three days before this. Jesus.

Obviously a little one, but I want to tell you something. This Oscar, he's got a future in broadcasting because he could tell a story. Oh good. Way to hear this, Carl Carl number six, please. I wake up. I actually wake up five 30 ish, five 30 AM. And I said, well I'll start the day. I wanted to catch up on a podcast. So I watched it on YouTube and then I threw on MSNBC. We had a scheduled rough, I think eight 30 start that morning. Yep.

And I was like, you know, I'm going to surprise the guys and get to work on time today. Isn't that going to be fun? Ta-da. Cause I had, I know I did. I really sure you will. I hit the shower at a seven 20 and I know it was early because my wife usually beats me into the bathroom. Cause we, by design only share one bathroom because I'm

frugal and saving up for a remodel right and She said how long I was like, it'll be a quick shower. I promise so she's sitting at the What kind of toothpaste Commercia to the party when you have like your wife sitting outside or sitting inside the bathroom like at the door frame Just sitting down looking at her phone waiting for me to be done with the restroom And I wasn't even by done. I mean i'm in the shower doors open Is just sitting in the hallway talking to me waiting patiently because there's really no Nowhere else for her to be in that size house, correct?

The only room she well she wanted uh wanted she wanted to jump in the bathroom So it's done because we were gonna ride into work together. Okay, so So I'm in the shower and It's 720 and she's like kind of bemoaning the fact that I can't wait to Another shower then we can both share at the same time. I said that first world problems were good My cracks and my creases and I'm out very good for you Things He goes I really like stories with detail In ten minutes I hit all the on my all my cracks and my creases and I'm out very good for you Yeah, I like I like stories with detail. Yeah, they have to have detail well because again. It's a radio guy

He's got a fill time. Yeah Yeah, I want to hear all about 20 in the morning. He might be taking a shower as my wife might take a shower first It's that was two minutes of this guy. I'm sorry But that's what this show is okay They take turns like making a hard eye contact while the other one's shitting. There's just like tapping her watch looking at him I Don't think she likes it very much, and I'll get to that in a second But my next clip is just simply titled holy shit

So I at this point I say to Shannon and we're mapping out the day We map out the day every day in the morning. That's just that's how we do things. Like, this is what's going to happen today. We have a calendar in front of us. We lay it all out and it was not stressful. It was actually a great day. The wonderful meeting set up everything. When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?

I don't know. What the fuck? I'm listening to this guy and I'm gonna stop it up for you He stands in the shower his face starts feeling droopy. He starts feeling lightheaded Yeah, his wife had a kovat funky blood pressure machine still in the house. She checked it It was his blood pressure was sky-high Okay, blood pressure machine. I'm yeah, I guess I don't know. He said I bought it. We bought one during kovat I don't know. He said I bought a, we bought one during COVID. I don't fuck it.

It's one of those fads. Oh yeah, I missed it. She stuck an anal thermometer up his ass and took his blood pressure. Here's the part I want to point out. His blood pressure is super high. Here's my next clip. Listen to what Mike O'Bara says next, Carl, and tell me if you remember a fun fact about Mike. How does that work if we can just, and I hate to be a dummy, but since we're talking about this, I, all I know is I have good blood pressure,

but I don't understand blood pressure. Please, someone, so what is the, the bottom number is, if the bottom number, it sounds to me like it's low, right? No, my number, didn't he have two heart attacks, but Carl, yes. And also when you're a guy this age,

he's probably going to the doctor all the fucking time. They're constantly checking his blood pressure. And he's like, yeah, I still don't understand it. I don't know. He's too hard attacks. Look, doesn't understand blood pressure. Yeah, I just needed to point that out because I was going crazy. This is my last clip because this show is a snore fest. I want to point out that I don't think Oscar's wife likes him,

just like the listeners. I put on pants. I put on a shirt, get dressed real quick, and Shannon does the same. She lets the dog out, and then I'm already downstairs, shoes on, wallet, emergency card, everything, and keys. And I say, let's go to Shannon. And she says, but the dog's still outside.

I said, leave the dog. I said, I'm effing dying. And she goes, we can't leave the dog. So I just left. So I said I said I'm effing dying and she was we can't leave the dog so I just left so I walked out good time for an argument jumped in the car and drove to GW I'm sorry Georgetown by yourself be clear about this I by myself I drove to Georgetown hospital by myself this guy's my hero she's finally got an excuse to file for divorce. Yeah I got a little dog it I'm dying. I died. He's a dog outside. I gotta take care of the dog. Yeah Where's my phone? Where's my phone? She's walking around the house isn't the dog being outside a better thing than leaving your dog

You don't know how long house right? Yeah, that's what I would have thought They could wave goodbye to dad on his way to die at the hospital well She she chose who her favorite family member was. And what are you going to do? It happens. This show is exactly all of this. It is slow and boring. And I don't give a shit. I'm glad you're OK, Oscar.

I'm not trying to make fun of you having a stroke. But Jesus Christ, you are boring. And I felt like I was having one listening to it. How long is this? The show was an hour and a half? Oh, I feel like having a stroke would be more interesting Yeah, seriously next time. Can you broadcast that please? Dave devil fiores remember for seven months as congrats on 500 Carl. Thank you Dave. Oh, thank you and Troy Smith Hi kids. Happy 500 FKB Fs. J. Thank you guys very much. This must be a joke

It says Vinnie looks great Wow, it's just jealous good stuff. She just said that I Brought in because I actually had Daniel B reached out to me and suggested, you know, Carl You got to take a look at this show again again It's been a while since we've checked out boogered up podcast Featuring Nick the Spaz Kid. Yes, they're still doing it and This is just a quick example of Nick the Spaz Kid gets very excited

They're talking about TV shows that they've been watching and it gets very excited when another guy has seen the same show He's seen ever seen vice principals I fucking loved vice principals. I loved anything Danny McBride did bro. Come on Fuck yeah, are you guys watching the righteous gemstones? There's another stroke coming out Everything so this is show it's hosted by Nick the spasket Travis Who's kind the main host. It seems like Cody doesn't talk much. And now this new guy, Matt, who claims to be a comedian has become the fourth member of the show. So these guys are doing it from some restaurant or bar somewhere. They have this setup. It's quiet as shit. The audio

is garbage. I had to boost everything in order to make this listenable So these guys really they have a couple things on a board somewhere they refer to a couple topics They want to get into you. We'll talk about that like for example. I don't have the clip for example They go do you guys see Trump's shoes that he put out me and spaz he goes now that is Good stuff guys Way to keep on top of things. Yeah, good job. You don't know about Trump shoes. Every fucking one's talking about this, okay?

Whatever, that's fine. So, they don't really have a lot to talk about, so they're just kind of meandering and shooting the shit. And I always find it a little weird when four guys get together and start talking about their dicks. Like cock-talk, I always find a little, Kendi's uncomfortable.

Even more so than she was sitting next to me. Walk the show even worse right now all due respect your mom's total base Respectfully, it's all respectfully It's all respectful. Yeah, you can tell oh yeah He told a story about how the guy from puddle of mud wanted to take his mom on tour with them Smoke shells I'm on tour with them smoke shells all do respect your mom's total base respectfully respectfully it's all respect if it's all respectful yeah respect you can tell just by talking to her I'm like it's a good mom right there I did that no my mom no she is she's a great mom. I guess. No, listen, I got some stories. I was gonna try

and like make it seem like she was bad for being pissed off at me the other weekend, but I was totally, you know, in the wrong. Cause you're pissing on her fucking driveway. Yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah. But it's like, nobody's man. Yeah. But my dick's that small. Who's going to see it? Do you have a small PB? I think it's small like where you at like are you a length guy girth guy? Where you at guys? Where you at you a length guy girth guy, where are you at a question? I've never asked someone before it's insane I mean this is a compliment. I jacked off to your mom I Finished inside her I

Can't like Carl watching this you had to get really frustrated. Could you guys get back to the hot moms, please? That it turns into nothing, but dick-sized talk and this continues on for some reason You know like the like the teachers without the rubber bands of like the four or five like number two pencils on their table and shit That's what mine. It looks like a mushroom head. Don't you? You look like you got a fat fucking head and not na bro. We're just one straight line imagine I mean real quiet. Let's imagine tone from Mario, but broccoli Have a perfect wiener

Like the guy goes you're being real quiet over there. Let's hear about your dick At that point I'm like I'm not doing this show anymore guys. This is fucking ridiculous What are we doing right now? My dick is not impressive, but my balls Actually, that's where the stories and I decided to I so this Broccoli, you're being real quiet. Let's hear about magic Hey, hey, you're being real quiet. Yeah, to your about your dick. I won talk about your dick for a minute. All right, this doesn't end there There's more cock-tock to come. You have a curve. Yeah mine curves. I could which way to the left Dude you go up

You're a sailor dude It's not like straight up, you know, it's a no- No, but you curve, it's like you're taking off on a plane, dude. It's the motion of the ocean. You can ramp it. You can ramp it? My boy got the fucking pilot? You ever take a tech deck and just go up with it and try and see if you can hit the road? Check it out, fucking 5-0.

You won't fit a full tech deck on it, though. You need like the finger roller skates, you can grind it. Finger roller skates! I fuck with your honesty, I love that shit, That's nice. Tell me more about your penis the guys talking about is erect cock Because he's being questioned about it and the guy goes you ever take a fingerboard And run it like it's a ramp. I'm like a wrecked cock. No, I have not sir And if great question though if you can fit it in between those wheels. Yeah He's saying That's her and great question though if you can fit it in between those wheels yeah Yes, careful you don't want to get the trucks caught your pubes yeah, I can truck grind a mini

Fingerboard on my cock what's crazy is they start off the show saying this all right before we get more involved in this one We won't let you guys know straight up We just got the announcement today another round of applause goes to the goons and the people that are listening Subscribing and everything of that nature we are up for best podcast in Cleveland We are war it is very safe very excited for it What are you doing? Gonna beat you bus pockets in Cleveland the fuck oh Cleveland is an awful place

Actually love Cleveland, but rock bottom is not just a clever name. That's where his show is right Because raised up is doing better for something. I gotta bump up the cock talk He just comes out and talks about his dick for the next episode Well, no now he's listening. All right, so then they get into just random facts about history because the one guy goes, oh yeah, I know a lot about history. The other guy's like, I don't know stuff about history at all. And you know, he doesn't know about the Revolutionary War.

And it's like all this crazy shit. So stupid. What do you think George Washington's dick is like? I heard he had a wooden dick. Is that true? George Washington's dick is like So this guy suspends kid Knows a fact about history. It is very proud of himself This is following following along the same the the lines of the Cold War what country was involved with the Bay of Pigs?

Cuba yes Next good at this shit okay that comes that sums up I don't know shit from fuck history stuff yeah it's a sad you know more than what you think I did pay attention bro I was cuz I was like this shit's so interesting bro I love history and like so much has changed in like what seems like so long, but it's been kind of like little time Dude history bro history history history, bro, dude. I like it So you guys know this thing that's going around where people ask how often do you think about the Roman Empire? Yeah, so so they bring that up and then that turns into Matt spitting more facts about the Roman Empire and Get ready to learn something people where the same bro

Could you imagine being alive during that time and they all fucked everything animals men fucking men girls fucking girls Girls fucking guys and girls with a horse crazy well they were going no they didn't give a fuck they would literally stick their dicks and put their pussies on anything yeah we're talking about Sodom and Gomorrah basically what he just described player of earth he described very basic hetero and homosexual relationships there's like men with men girls with girls girls with men

Yeah, I can't even imagine that Wow. It wasn't just guys fucking girls girls were fucking guys It's just the plot to Caligula Now the problem with these types of shows and actually Mike O'Meara is probably a good example of this too If you don't live an interesting life, you can't just sit down and be interesting. Nothing's going on. You don't have anything to talk about, no anecdotes. Spaz Kid doesn't realize that.

Spaz Kid decides to tell a story that is so boring and pointless. I've been noticing more and more panhandlers too around. Oh shit. Yeah. I've been noticing a lot of them so I work the other day we're going to get lunch and there's this truck Hauling a bunch of shit at a stoplight There's panhandler on the fucking thing and he held his hand out like he was about to give him money But he's like nah, bro He wanted a fist bump that we got burned that first time damn

Nah, bro, they wanted a fist bump that we got burned that first time Damn, then the next car pulls up and it's lady and her husband She bends down gets in a purse looks like she's about to get some money husbands like no no shit No, he says you read his lips clear as day. No Dude, what's your fucking ass beat tonight? Come on, man Damn, bro. I only there's a real thing. I thought you were going to be a third one that was going to do something funny. Oh, no, no. That was a real, real ass shit. I just seen like two days ago. Monday. Yeah. Monday. I don't I love that story. That's a real ass shit guys. Yeah. There's a guy

who wanted money sitting at the side of the road. Wow a homeless guy got stiffed. Yeah, but how was yeah I'll be good to stick plot twist. He was a panhandler. Oh See, there was nothing interesting. He had nowhere to go with that story. The guys like, okay So what's the punchline? Well, and also is he sitting there watching a panhandler for like? Yeah, that's a good point, too They're just like oh watch this This is really fascinating stuff over his work is on the opposite corner of the street. I guess So now spaz kid is gonna start interrupting people and yelling a lot because that's always good on a podcast Yeah, we'll get no more wrestling shit on our personal because you know if we can talk about it forever

But the other thing I wanted to bring up Safe this place is not safe. Did you guys see? Waiting I'm like this motherfucker Tourette's magic anything that excited about something like that do it one more time one more time. It'll get funny I just yelling out literally a grown-up beavis. Yes. Yeah He's Holy, I don't know if we noticed nobody pointed it out that cup That's empty in the middle of the table at the beginning of the clip package was full of Mountain Dew and now that is gone Shot out of a fucking can I could be part of the problem. I think you're right about that

He's gonna crash and get all low-key Come on spazzy. We gotta go now So spaz kids are talking about basketball, and he's talking about a game that happened recently He has no idea what he's talking about I don't know why his buddies let him off the hook on this stuff They should really like point at him and say, what the fuck are you talking about and pointed out? Clint Capella the other night just had like 30 rebounds. No, no, hold up. Joker. Someone just had like an insane amount of rebounds the other night, bro. I

was like, holy fuck. It was like, I was like, that's gotta be a record. Somebody had a bunch of rebounds the other night and I was like, wow, it's gotta be a record. Pretty good, pretty good anecdote. pretty good stuff there guy Doesn't know what team it was doesn't know the number and these guys are so used to him. They're like yeah, okay? Yeah They're trying to say something Okay, so anyway the Cavaliers are playing and they actually know something about basketball to have a conversation They just let him off the hook which I would not have done my last clip package here is I mentioned before there's like a board where they have topics they're going to discuss. And one of them was Trump shoes. Another one. This is the last one

they get to. This is very exciting. This is how the show concludes is because Span's kid wants to talk about which drawer in his dresser he puts his underwear. I know you guys can't wait to find out the answer to this. It's very, it's quite riveting right here. All right, Nick, I've been waiting patiently for this whole time for you to bring up your topic on this board here because it is insane. I got to ask you motherfuckers. Where do you keep your underwear in your dresser drawer? I need to know if I'm crazy. Where do you keep your underwear in your dresser? Yeah. And your dresser like and what level of the yes, yes top top top

There's no shot that it's somewhere else a very tippy, but the very like bottom close to the floor What why I don't know I started doing it in high school. I don't know why It's like when I get shit in there didn't you know? You mean to tell me you ain't got a dildo in there. No, I had condoms in there, but Yeah, that's the first thing you're gonna put on the line I Used to always just like swing it open with my foot and like just grab my underwear And just yeah throw it up and catch it and I just walk on my my day. You know, I was like, damn, that's like... They run out of every other topic to talk about and they cover every

single thing there is to cover on this show? Do you know this is the train in the background? Yeah, I did notice that. It's good stuff. I was more interested in that. I wonder where that train's going. I'd like to be there getting away from this place. Can I catch that train? Imagine if I came on the show and I go okay guys what something I want to talk to you guys about

Where do you keep your underwear? You know on the dresser and then I explained that I put it in a on the bottom thing drawer And you pick it up with their toes very tippy bar at the bottom. Yeah, this guy's a fucking moron He's a spaz and an idiot What's happening well say did you notice when he grabbed that beer from the floor? He completely moved around the microphone like that. They probably told him don't ever fucking touch our equipment Yes, I broken a lot of things Could you imagine if I brought that to this show and I mentioned that no one would have a follow-up question for me on that

But these assholes are like this is fascinating no one would be in the room anymore explore the show's over Can off what give me a give me a rotation if you're going in your dresser like what is the second third fourth? What is all of that tippy top socks? Wait, Tiffy Middle? You have zero fucking sense Nick. I have a lot of socks and undies. Hold on, why the fuck? How many pairs of socks do you have?

I have a lot. I have a lot of socks. That's a great question too, how many pairs of socks do you have? Also, how are you doing today? No, my drawers ain't that big. I only have six drawers in my dresser. You've been doing this since you were a kid though! How big is the drawer? I bet six drawers in my dresser. You've been doing it since you were a kid though How big yeah, how big is the drawer? I bet it's the same dresser, too

Vinny how many pairs of socks do you have? I don't know 15. I'm gonna start asking people that yeah That's me That's the correct answer all right, this is my last clip. This is the dumbest conversation I've ever heard on a podcast, and I've listened to a lot of really bad podcasts in my day. But this is they decide that we're we got to keep going with us. This is great stuff. So I have six doors 123123 right? Okay, so socks. So the left hand left hand side this how it goes socks. My nice shirts that I like to wear that aren't that I'm not gonna hang up and then my underwear and then in this one is like work shirts under armor like old work like old work clothes and then shirts that I don't care about, but I don't want to get rid of. And then shorts, sweatpants. It's an alphabetical order.

Yeah. I am so confused by you. It makes so much more sense to just put, no, hold on, just put the underwear on the one next to the socks. I thought we were talking four rows right here. You have six of them and you decide to go bottom Just put a fucking next to it. I just go boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

And that's the way The news goes boom do you think this room is missing as a therapist these guys? I can't imagine getting that like worked up about this conversation. Yeah, he was outraged this this is more boring than any conversation I've had in real life right let alone on Yeah, even talking to co-workers who do not want to talk to definitely don't want to talk about them always more So anyway, that's the podcast I wanted to take a look at again boogered up with my buddy Nick the spaz kid Coming up big for us Andy yeah, you brought a podcast for us today. This podcast is a perfect storm of

the celebrity Shows that nobody cares about turning into a Nothing show that nobody cares about okay okay so what I brought was armchair expert but this is Dex Shepard and his co-host Monica I think when they can't get a good guest or maybe it's a midweek show or something like that it deteriorates into a call-in type of show okay and it couldn't be faker or worse I don't understand what they're trying to do that sucks but sucks he sucks he's like this personality he's so

interesting yeah not at all oh my god and it's it's just becoming even more and so at least you have Bradley Cooper on sometimes this just deteriorates into him letting his listeners do The heavy lifting all right can I just make a prediction real quick sure are his listeners all middle-aged women? Because his show has the vibe of like a midday talk show to yeah There's four people and there are three out of the four are women okay And then the guy was like I didn't even clip it because it was such a throwaway thing And then the guy was like I didn't even clip it because it was such a throwaway thing

But I want people to really listen to the fact that a lot of this it must be prep burger This is overproduced none of these things really happen. You can tell by the way that people are telling the story So nobody talks like this. Okay, like concisely recapping a story It's so overproduced but Dax had the good sense to bury this theme song that they don't use at the top of the show. But you can tell Dax was like, well, I worked really hard on this theme. So I insisted on including it at the end. Okay. So we're going to start at the end and then jump back to the beginning with clip one. We don't have a theme song would listen that far into the episode.

He thinks that's funny. Yeah, he thinks that's good. That's been done a billion times and a thousand times better than that Yeah, we don't have a theme song theme song So I think his co-host or producers of he must have talked him out of using that at the top because it's not there In the beginning, but what is it the beginning is a lot of fucking big-name ads that they're they're raking it in with this podcast Undeservedly like there's no way they should be getting all this Apple pay money, and this is Hollywood handbook style ad read oh no yeah So clip to this is how they how they make their ads cute

I know and remember how last year on Halloween I was gonna go as Apple pay Yes, I do remember I had to scrap it last minute because I didn't plan ahead But I still think it's a great time your market for a little Instinct right? Oh, it's so cute. I was gonna be Remember I was gonna be a squatty potty for Because it shows shitty And I was gonna laugh all the way to the bank God, it's so bad. All right, so to get into the show proper though

This is the intro and they do that other thing where it's probably a long-running gag where they don't use their real name You're just supposed to know what's happening I guess you would if you selected to listen to it But they don't use their real names and you know, you're gonna establish what the topic of the day is in clip 3 Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to armchair anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Mr. Mouse. Hi. Hi. Today we have accidentally naked. Yes. What a topic from again. He thinks everything he says is cute. Right. That's what I hate about him. Stop being cute. It's fucking obnoxious. Yeah. And it's just confusing and it's not funny. So that's not Dan Rather. It's not funny. So that's not Dan rather Just make it sure believe it or not it wasn't Dan rather, but they're talking alright, so they call their listeners armed cherries, which is creepy

So all the thing is making me bad about it. Yeah all the armed cherries are gonna call in with their Accidental nudity stories, okay. And it's just wholly unbelievable. This is straight up shit. These are scenarios that probably did happen to somebody at some point, but you can tell listening to this that it's a lot of fucking garbage. So just in case we didn't understand

what Hacks Shepherd, he's not funny, he's gonna continue to be not funny in Clip Four. Yeah, what exciting red hair you have. Thank you very much. What do we call it red? Well, yeah, it's red. You can ask me if it's natural and my response to that is usually it said natural red on the box.

Okay, right. Also, what kind of question is that? Is it natural? Yeah. Unless you're going to be comedian and say say does the carpet match the drapes? There's some comedic don't need comedic value in that old. Okay Retired guess a retired one. It's not did anybody see that see that coming from a million miles away, Vinnie You're not enjoying this. You don't think it's a funny comedy podcast

Can I go back to the guy talking about a stroke? Hey Vinnie knock knock fuck you in We are not a yes and the punchline is what colors your pussy hair Jesus okay, so this woman's story is about losing her top on a jet ski these stories are all fabricated horse shit and I saw this on Eastbound and down. Yeah. Yeah I know about this, but this is a part of the story where I realized that it was made up I was not holding on very tightly to the hubby and Unfortunately, I flew way into the air completely off and right into the sea

You know, we were pretty far out at this point. So there was a level of panic and terror. I was like, are there sharks? How far out are we? How am I going to get back on? Yeah, they're not the easiest vessel to re-board. Well, especially when neither one of us realized to turn the vessel off to re-board. He manages to kind of keep it still. But the problem is, as I'm trying to re to reboard the jets are pushing me further and further

Away, so I'd get a little close get pushed back get a little close. Just talk about your tits I don't care what you think back out the thing. I thought you were topless. I Spored a guy dolphin rapes her What a story, but that's not how wave runners and jet skis work Yeah, if anything there's a flying off well if you fall off There's a tether that takes the key out, but also you have to be throttling it for the jet to be pushing you away Yeah, so no, no, no, I call bullshit. Yes. I wish there were sharks in the story. Yeah Kaylee doesn't know Lucy

All right, let's get to the tits yeah listen to what what let's hear what a creep Dax is got about the tits and clips six a get far enough to stand up and all of a sudden I become very obvious to the fact that my bathing suit has completely fallen off me. Still had the bottom intact. Just topless. So there's that. But my double D's were on full display. Oh, those lucky observers. The excited clapping turned up. He's just so happy that she got humiliated publicly.

And the conclusion of this is, oh, everybody from my work trip, my boss was there, my boss saw it, and then I got a promotion. That's how the story wraps up. So this is, yeah, you were saying prep burger or something. This is not a caller. This is not just a listener calling in and telling the star, they're too polished. And they're all like this. And the audio quality is perfect. yep, Vinny's in his studio, and he sounds like shit

You I really know you sound great buddy, okay moving on to the look you look terrible. I just sound great this next plant Part for the corpse yeah, is going to tell the next story. This is about her trip to Borneo or somewhere, where she had a... Boringo? Boringo. All right, cool. She had this encounter with a monkey where she was feeding the monkeys. You can tell it's bullshit because Dax has to explain what the story is about because she's telling it badly

Okay, so he's gonna jump in before she even gets to the point so you know it's made up Okay, pull my shirt out and I look under and I am covered in fire ants. Oh my goodness They were all on the monkey and they fell into your Monkey and then they went into me So then I'm like, you know freaking out and I'm starting to slap myself. Okay, that's not how fire ants work Yeah, they just fell off the book even on to me And also if you've ever been bitten by a single fire and you don't have to fucking look

Freaking the fuck out. Yeah. Well, That's exactly what happens, but I don't understand so the monkey wasn't bothered by the fire and but you are and Now she's gonna get into the next point where she's in such distress over the fire ants that weren't bothering the monkey They're so painful that she just tears all of her clothes off Candy, I hope you're thinking up a story about when you were accidentally nude at a certain point so we can, you know, I don't think I've ever been accidentally. Bullshit. Make something up like these people. But again, these fire ants are very committed and they're making their way South.

So I literally without thinking, just pull off the shorts and the underwear. Oh, now you're in a national geographic shoot. You weren't worried that the ants were gonna like get in your vagina. Now you're more exposed. They can crawl up in you. What the? It doesn't seem like a great strategy. I agree with him on that.

Yeah. Sounds kind of stupid. I'm the sex offender in Borneo now because I got fire ants in my pussy in front of all the kids that were there and alright so this is the this part of the story where you fully realize that it's completely made up because suddenly they're more worried about the monkeys again and the fact that she's covered in fire ants is not even yeah moving on, I'm done with the fire. It's now on to the monkeys.

Now it's like a cartoon where they come back and everything's fine. Look, OK, good. And then he kind of gets up and then I see the biggest monkey erection. He's immediately horny. Yes. And I literally again, I can't think of anything to do except just go. Jerk it off. No, no, no. go jerk it off. No no no no thank you no Red rocket do my bullshit. This is such bullshit monkeys. Don't get horny about it for women female That could have at least ended in some primate rape

Please fuck the fire ants out of it. Yeah, but This monkey thinks she's so hot yeah, and she completely forgets that she's covered in fire ants because yeah the pepula pew of monkeys Flattered but Right so that story is garbage. Then they move on to the guy calls in with his story. But he was fucking his girlfriend and then he went into a shared bathroom and got in a fight with her roommate. Just a screaming match.

I didn't clip any of it except for Dax introducing this guy onto the show because he comes off like such a gay wad. What else did she think I was going to comment on because I got a hunch you know what's coming next? My scar, but that was it. No, nice biceps. Really nice definition. Thank you very much.

But you know what they look like? They look like they're the result of an actual athletic endeavor. Are you a climber or something? I was a climber for a while. I played tennis in high school Okay, yeah, they've got that very athletic tone to look to them I've never heard someone ask if they're a climber before well, you're pretty jacked. What are you a climber? Yeah, what that definition?

Yeah, yeah You got the climbers arms deaf not the HJ rest stop arms at dancing used to saying These are arm guy expert over here I like that you set yourself on a hand job, but you cut but you call this come gay watch All right the next story is this the last I think this is the last one please she This dumb woman decides that she's gonna do this said woman This dumb woman decides that she's gonna do this said woman yeah She's gonna do like a boudoir photo session for her boyfriend in a food court photo booth

Huh does that makes perfect? No it doesn't Andy I'm gonna stop you there and say it doesn't make sense and sells a course shit It's gonna continue to make less and less But she sat down on a bench that had wet paint on it and there was a white stripe down her back. Well just chased her out. But I decided to go and I'm going to take it like a sexy photo strip in this photo booth and I'm going to put it as like a bookmark in the book that he was reading. So when he opened the book then there's just this photo strip of good memories. I planned this whole thing I went and bought some sort of sexy lingerie and I knew that this photo booth was here It was in the food court area

It's right out of an 80s California movie it's like the epitome of a food court It was we know what a photo booth looks like Ditome of a food court. We know what a photo booth looks like, Dax. I know what a food court and a photo booth is. Christ. This is the dumbest thing ever. It's so easy to take photos of yourself now. Right. Everyone knows how to do that.

Set your phone up. Hit the fucking timer. Yeah. Take photos. They try and say that it was 2015. So, but none of the technology, this is where you discover that it's all bullshit based on this is where well Not the fire answer the boulder what I know what I mean is each story has a telltale sign That it's a load of shit and the technology of this story is the telltale sign that this is all bullshit

But in clip 12 she's gonna talk about the details of how she's gonna get all the shots that she needs to get in The the amount of time yeah Seconds in between yeah, right all right timing wise you gotta be on your way to you gotta be on your toes Thank you for saying that Monica because I like you am a planner of things and so I get in there And I'm like where's the camera how long do I have I got to rehearse this? I have to sort of figure out where to put my body because like if you want to get the good stuff pushed up to The camera you're kind of having to like get in weird positions. So the opposite of a planner, correct? Yes, and she was doing a handstand so she could get a good shot of her taint in a photo

I Got a practice well sit down and look forward there it is That's where they put it go figure and clip 13 is the bullshit clip where the details Reveal that it's all made up and I look at them and I'm like do I need to do a retake did they turn out? Okay, make sure that ink is dry. I don't want to like smear what? right Is dry i don't want to like smear what? right ink With her vagina i suppose shouldn't be talking about dry or smear yeah that's a good point yeah and did my asshole come out Okay, and did i wipe yeah Right cuz this photo booth was using an inkjet printer and the ink got smeared stupid does it matter there were already two kids in here

And the ink got smeared stupid does it matter there were already two kids in here Wouldn't be great if this is what only fans girls had to do yes, that would be entertaining This is what girls on crazy shit have to do yeah crazy shit. I like that idea though. It would be like punk to meets Cam house yeah, yeah, that should look into that and 14 This is the big reveal more details I feel didn't exist in the time I just realized I can't believe it took me this hard to realize this These are all fat women Yes, that girl with the double D's yeah, that's not a good thing right. That's a big woman, right? Oh my god, you're right people listen to dag show their fat women

Oh, I'm getting naked on purpose Yeah, we've uncovered that about all the swingers shows that we've ever covered on this all those swingers are always idiots I'm making me think of the Hattles damn you Don't say Hattles I could get a smell in my mouth Won't say Hattie's I could get a smell in my mouth Smells like Tampa in here. We'll see it. Let her go Florida March 22nd. I mean to be live.com for tickets All right, this is the big reveal clip 14 this group of three girls goes into the booth Don't think anything of it But as they walk in that moment where the lights turn on the entire back side of the photo photo booth from ceiling to floor turns into a screen that

Livestreams everything no Monitor no Cares Yeah, so seven people at the mall saw that you were naked in the photo booth, right? Yeah, your beacons guys getting their dollar coffees in the food court kind of thrill. Good for you on it. Yes But that's not gonna stop Dax from being a creep about it again in clip 15 He better ask her boob size cuz that's what I want to say if I were there because in 95 I guess I was 30 if I was there and then I witnessed this entire thing

First of all, I'd be like, I am so horny for this person. Obviously that would be my first reaction. And then I would go, Oh God, and she's going to sit down and eat pizza. So this was a bit of a performance. I would start thinking there's like an exhibitionism going. I would just ask what's happening. Is he trying to be funny? Of course. Oh, I would have walked up and said can I get an eight by ten of that? I'm sure sure you would then you get pepper sprayed thrown off the pier By the way, I want to say that Vinnie perked up when he said pizza though, but he was like, oh let's go down It's the most interesting thing about this

But the last clip every single one of the guests that they had on here had to conclude their story by bending the knee and kissing the ring and telling Dax What a great job he is and how how he's totally deserves to be married to Kristen Bell It was like inexplicable. Dax my kids love your wife. I know that's you sorry. Thank you Can I just tell you how much I absolutely love you guys? I know everyone does that and I promised I wouldn't geek out but I've been an arm cherry since the beginning I actually heard you Dax on on a Ferris's podcast. Oh wow, which brought me to you guys Everyone has to say how they found him and how great he is Yeah, everyone has to say how they found him and how great he is

What how meaningful he is to their lives? It's weird well right nobody would ever say that either now It's all useless, and that's armchair expert. That's what they're up to now We all found really terrible podcasts listen to for episode 500 good on us guys. Sorry everybody good on us Vinny, I'm going to let you go in a little bit, but I want you to stick around. Because we had a very awesome video put together by Jody B, Mr. Magenta, Adam Theroux and Ed the editor all collabed on this project to congratulate us on 500 episodes. And I'm going to play that I want to also want to

bring Missy B on the show. Missy B, welcome to WTP 500. congratulate us on 500 episodes and I'm gonna play that. I also want to bring Missy B on the show. Missy B, welcome to WTP 500. Hey, congratulations! Thank you very much and thank you for being here. Missy had to move things around on her schedule for us today. Okay. So I very much appreciate that. I mean, you told me we're playing to catch a dabbler, right? That's why I'm here. Yeah, that's right. Yes. Actually, I do have a to catch an alien. But no, Missy B is here

because if you saw point dabble point yesterday, you know that John went off on Keanu and Missy B because Missy was on Keanu cast talking about John a little bit. And Missy has not seen it yet. No, I swear i had no interest yeah so we're gonna get her reaction in real time but uh but first check this out i saw this last night and was pretty blown away it's fantastic you gotta love vinnie carlino tomorrow maybe another day yeah our media guys hey let's go to our media dude i'm 100% our media. Shut the fuck up ass wife and suck my car Join us as we cover the shittiest podcasters on the internet along with some embarrassing low-cal phenomenon.

Gabbler discretion is advised. Big ol' T-12! J-A-D-E is dropped to Carla's T-H-E-V-E! A podcast review show! Five other fucking episodes! Who are these punks? Oh yeah! I can't get enough dicks in my body. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-we forgot about Andy. I can't get enough dicks in my body. Oh, WATP. Oh guys, guys, we forgot about Andy. Let's talk shit.

WATP. Carl, I love you. Go fuck yourselves. Have a good week. Harrison broke the Internet. Fantastic job. That is wonderful. And I really appreciate it again. Jody B., Mr. Magenta, Adam Throne, the editor, all collabing on that and putting that together.

Much appreciated. Great job, guys. I really do appreciate that. Fantastic. Also, we have a message from Cardiff Electric. I have not watched this yet. Of course, Cardiff is coming into town or is in town for behind you right now. He's in town for Subreddit surfing live tonight at the Carlson Ticket. Still available. If you want to come to us, we'll all be there. So let's see what

Cardiff has for us. Oh, hi, Carl. It's me your pal Cardiff Electric. Congratulations on 500 episodes. Thanks. You've done it. They said it couldn't be done. But you proved them all wrong. Good for you. You overcame so many obstacles. I mean the feet, the teeth, nap gate. Boy, you've survived it all. You're an inspiration. A true inspiration. Where you going with this?

If there's a kid out there right now watching this, I want you to know that anyone, literally anyone, can put out 500 episodes of a podcast go get them kid also Carl you're a cunt sit Eugene Wow, Carter really putting in the work on that one. Yeah, killed it. Thanks so much, kind of the best. All right. I do have a cringe of the week, but it's it's longer.

We'll play it later. Play later in the show. We got a lot to get to today. We have another special guest popping out in a little bit, but I really want to get to the stuttering John package that I have here for Missy Vinny. Like I said, if you want to hang out, you can if you got to get prepped for the show tonight. That's a little bit more time. All right. But you know what?

I am just I'm gonna bow out. You guys start a fresh segment. I'll see you guys later. Thank you, everybody. It's been fun. Happy 500 episodes. Carl, it's been a blast. Yes, but and you you could catch me touring with Joe Matrice. Bye guys. It starts off my first clip here. So John did a show on Thursday. He had Richard Ojeda on. Then he had Ian Halpern was his guest.

And then he's sitting there and he's like, no, I haven't watched this yet, but my buddy Chris tells me that Keanu was trashing me on his show. And so this is John. Remember, John is the best show in all the Devilverse. This is the best show. All right. Now, Keanu's saying she didn't say anything. Notice the tear in his collar. He looks like a heroin addict waiting for a bus

John is the guy who claimed that he goes to Salvation Army because he has so many shirts Donate them meanwhile he's wearing a shirt on the internet with a tear in the collar Is that tea stained or did he actually get it out of a dumpster? That's a good question, too dumpster. That's a good question too. Dumpster juice. Oh my God. How do I fucking Oh, wait. I got it. He's on his phone. I don't know what he's doing.

He doesn't either. And how do I do this? It's gotta be way do this All right, I'll just show it home on my god and show it from his phone Jesus. Oh, I can't so this Okay, oh he actually does That is Ray DeVito with his laundry basket you got to be a real fucking loser To do your laundry. All right So we spent all that time trip looking for a photo on his phone

Yeah, I just zero prep for his show. It's so bad. How do you fuck up looking up a photo? I don't know. Can I just say right there is the greatest people need to now green screen that screen with him holding it with his icky fingers. It's a great every pause you've ever done in the last 500 episodes or whenever he showed his face have been gold. Yeah, we can put in some CP on here. and bold. Yeah, we can put in some CP on here. He's showing his phone. We got the FBI involved. It'll be fun. Alright, so John is concerned because him and Keanu are friends. They get along so well. He's been on her show. She's been on his show. They met in AC. They got along really well. So he

doesn't know what's going on here. Um okay. Um too late. I did that. Okay. Let me get Keanu here. I love Keanu. I don't, you know, I don't want to, you know, say anything bad. I, let me, see, this is my problem. My friend Chris winds me up. Keanu called you a scumbag. And I'm like, what? Keanu called you a scumbag. I'm like what? Keanu called you a scumbag.

You know this move. Are you kidding me? I'm like what? All he did was talk about her ass. I immediately emailed Geno and go, Hey Geno, why did you not treasure me? I've been nothing but nice to her. So first off, I have to pause it there. John had his friend tell him

that Keanu said he was a scumbag. So he immediately emailed Gino and said, hey, how come Keanu called me a scumbag? There's no in between. It doesn't make any fucking sense at all. I was talking to Keanu and Gino about this yesterday on Point Devil Point, they both joined us on the show. It's like, Keanu's like, he has my number.

He's called me before, he's texted with me. Why is he reaching out to Gino? It's like Ken was great. He has my number He's called me before he's texted with me. I don't why is he reaching out to Gino So he's tattletaling or something just so you know your fiance saying mean things about me and we're friends get her in line It sounds awfully misogynistic. Yeah, you don't you think it's crazy classic John. No like I mean I like piano, but she's a dirty con Yeah, well he turns very quick. I know But also just the idea that doesn't even look it up first. He's just told something by a guy and Decides to just immediately reach out the GMO like check that out Didn't say anything So it's like I don't know why everyone has to wind me up

You know, it's crazy. Everyone likes to get me mad. You don't know why. You don't know if you want to wind you up, John. OK, well, I guess you'll never learn. It's the only good thing about you. So, Missy, I hope you brought your thick skin with you today. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah. John starts sitting before he watches this.

He starts it right away. I knew. Let's go. But here it is. Let's see what let's see what Keanu said. I don't think she said, Oh, her mom looks hot. I'm going to beat one off to a mom tonight. So yes, our buddy Carl's show. And by the way, you're always great on there. And I left. Who is this fucking ugly broad?

This Missy B? Well, he doesn't remember me. And I left who is this fucking ugly broad this missy be? I thought we had something he's so bad at this who is this ugly broad yeah Any woman who would never have the time of day for him is ugly correct sixth grade all over yes I don't even like her she's ugly. It's like he know who missy B. Is as he's met multiple times in person It's only a Bucky's girlfriend like narcissists. That's what they do. They take the highest good and they invert it It's just common common, so it's like I can't wait this. I'm this is so exciting. Yeah, okay, so I'm sure it goes to it She's a fat pig There's a lot of obesity under here guys

It's amazing that John understands why Missy B makes fun of John. And it's not because John is goofable in every single way and it's a lot of fun to goof on him. No, no, no, no, no. There's a very good reason for it. I can get along with anybody. I can get along with John Melendez. He's a complete... You're like a universal solvent and you're just the

easy water of, of, you know what? Missy, I know you're calling me his girlfriend and I know you got a total fucking company line for Pocky. You're about 40 years younger than him. And I get it. You got to fucking trash me because you're fucking racist

homophobic transphobic Antisemitic fucking boyfriend doesn't like me anymore Why don't you grow a pair Seriously, why don't you just fucking stand up yourself and go, you know what Anthony? I'm not gonna get into the fucking weeds with Sutter and John. Because you know what? I'm going to come back and get harder. Oh, the weeds.

I don't know what he's talking about. He's in a restaurant. Doesn't make any sense. Honestly, like if I had to get ants attention was strictly to shit on John, then like I need to reevaluate this last ten years with you know like what is that what is a relationship based on if it's not on John's mind and Kevin Brennan thinks this way too it's like if you go after someone it's because you're trying to please someone else see I mean to this person to we friends now that's's how anyone lives their life. I'd have way more friends. Yeah, no shit. You have zero friends

And it was so telling he goes because your boyfriend doesn't like me anymore anymore Yeah, listen, we all I mean he said he didn't know who I was and now he says he knows who I am Yeah, so he must remember that I met him and my hatred towards him is because of the In-person experience that I had to endure. So that actually is going to set up this next clip cause you can explain this to him now. Yeah, look. Oh, okay. Him saying, okay. Okay. Missy, what have I done to you?

What have I ever fucking done to you? Seriously, you claim I hit on you. OK. If I did. OK. What's so bad about that? I mean, that should be a compliment, right? Not coming from you, God, your repose. So what did I do to you? But you gotta follow,

you gotta fuckin' draw the lines of connect all the dots to Pocky's face, and then you have to fuckin' trash me because Pocky don't like me. It's, you know, it's so fuckin' transparent and pathetic, and you're not smart, You probably never graduated high school You probably never graduated college Missy comments. I mean, I don't need to prove anything to him. I do have a lot of you know, like student loan debt

I could say otherwise I Did all the things but I again, I don't think I need to prove Coming on that part. That's the dumbest thing is what Jack keeps doing. No. No, you probably didn't you probably Like me, I have a degree so small your lady brain didn't do any of the things that stuttering John Melendez has done Anthony's got millions of dollars, but you know what never graduated high school. Yeah John said he's more famous than Anthony's I have this episode. I don't have that. He did. Yeah, it's so insane. So, uh, John said he never did anything to you, Missy, and that

you should be very nice to him. Okay. You disagree with that? I mean, I when I left, uh, that awful event that you can call stand up when we watched it, uh, he He I just couldn't I did the I'm watching you you fucking piece of shit before I left Like he knows I don't like him, but you know, he just whatever it's this is great He can't fathom that more than one person would not like him Yeah, it's like she only doesn't like me because Anthony doesn't like he just needs more like Villains. Yeah, he just needs more to help validate him and That's that's all this is

Yeah, he loves being a victim and it's never his fault. That's what it comes down to it's like he was Yeah, exactly. Martyrism the cry bully as cry-bully, as Phil used to point out. All right, let's get back to this. I can quell the douchebaggery out of anybody. I can quell it. I can quell it all. John Mellon is the one he had. Mee on Err, I guess I, Visconti popped on his show

and then he came on my show. And obviously the man's trying to impress me and be like, it's sushi. It's okay. Can I know? I'm not trying to impress you. I'm being me. I'm being nice.

Now I'm trying to impress you. Are you any fucking mind? You don't think I've been with hot women? My fucking ex-wife was hotter than you. My fucking ex-girlfriend's hotter than you. My fucking girl. You know how many I was going to play my centerfold, Keanu. You're not that impressive to me.

I will. Wait, so now he doesn't like her anymore? No, because he's been with hotter girls because everyone knows that once you sleep with a girl who's hotter than you don't like any of the other girls that are less hot than her for the rest of your life. That's how that works. You never tried to get laid by someone who's less hot ever again. And I like the She's a little too young for you, John. Old man. Yeah. But yeah, so John now is saying he so he's already getting fired up. All she said was he's trying to impress me. He was trying to impress her. He went on her show, asked her if she had a college degree only because he wanted to say, I have a degree from NYU and he's throwing out his credits like he always does. He's always trying to impress everyone with

his credits. Yeah. Because he's in a 500 square foot apartment Studio apartment in the valley and he's wearing a shirt that's torn up. Yeah, it's always like I stole from his brother Something it's the only thing you can say. I know I look like I work at the Goodwill But I actually have a degree from at my yeah, I just need to bring it up Yeah, it's the Salvation Army is where I work not the Goodwill You should see you know, but I also have a degree from there Okay So this is where John gets pretty upset here. I could handle the douchebaggery what douchebaggery Keanu Holy shit

Are amazing yeah, he's still reacting to what we just saw. Okay. Yeah. All they said was you could miss. He goes, you can handle the dispatch. He's like, I can handle all the douchebag. And John's already losing his mind. Keep in mind, the closer he gets to his camera, the more full of shit and performative he

is. Every time. That's the metric. Yeah. Are amazing. I was nothing but a gentleman. I was as kind as fuck to her, kind as fuck to a boyfriend, kind as fuck to Chad. I was just the normal, stuttering John that everybody knows and loves. Yeah. When they get to meet me and look at your neck. Everybody knows and loves, you know, there's a giant community of people all goofing out of me now. But everyone loves me obviously. Yeah.

We'll see a March 10th that where you're supposed to show up and meet all those people. Right? Yeah. Where are you this weekend? Johnny supposed to be here, buddy. All right. So he's still reacting to that same clip that we saw. This is worse than I thought Fucking underage girlfriend, I gotta hit I gotta listen to you trashin me You don't have to missing your underage and you've been dating athlete for 10 years Missing you're underage and you've been dating Anthony for 10 years So we have a moment to do you know if you started dating that I mean, I didn't graduate high school I didn't even go to elementary school. I just went right to Roslyn Heights. My dad should be there

He's like, I'm a big ONA fan go get him girl. I Got to listen to you trash and me You don't have to Get me started with you. Too late. Okay? Oh no guys. That's such an opie thing. You want to go there? You don't want to go there. Yeah. It's fine. I mean I'm a lieutenant in the Salvation Army. You don't want to start a war with me. That's the SJ Army. You know, I got bigger fish to fry. You don't want to start with me. That's the SJ army. You know I got bigger fish to fry You don't want to start with me. I got bigger fish to fry well

Why are you watching this clip and responding to it? Yeah, you got you started very small of you, okay? All right, so after this he goes off on Mike Bush Eddie for no reason at all because Mike is just a bad person He's just angry. He's a monster. He's angry forgets who he's angry at yeah starts yelling it's praying it everywhere so then after he gets refocusing. He's like that's right. I'm mad I'm really confused. What about Mike Bichette? Oh, so we weren't talking about him. No no no no it made no sense at all It's a total non sequitur, and I have a clip where he goes off on him again in a little while it makes no sense total non sequitur and I have a clip where he goes off on him again in a little while. It makes no sense. But John, he has his enemies of the day or of the week, and he cycles through all of his enemies.

Yeah, fortunately, I get to be in that list pretty often. I think guys like Mike Bush, Eddie get throwing it. Missy B and Keanu every now and again. Next week, it'll be back to Ray DeVito or Stevie Lou. Correct. Whatever. Yes. With new nicknames. So we're still reacting to that same clip that we just saw. She's gonna, and look how annoying

Komi's girlfriend looks. Little snobby little bitch. And now I gotta get, now you're gonna, oh, douchebaggery? You gotta handle me now? Oh, I can handle it. What did I do? What did I say?

What? What did I say? I said said once I beat off tea in the morning. Once? You've repeated it like a bunch of times. But also this thing that John does, he doesn't want to have a conversation with anyone. But he pretends that he is. He pretends he's talking, he's like waiting for an answer. What did I do to you? Oh, the cat's got your tongue, huh? Yeah, right. Talks to you? Oh, the cat's got your tongue, huh? The roaches on the wall. Fucking idiot. So stupid.

But I like that Missy's just sitting there smiling like what a snobby little bitch. Remember the the kid who's got a punchable face, the kid with the Trump hat, with the Indian guy. Like perfect example of that. This is now John turning on Keanu and this is so predictable. Remember Keanu is the girl wearing the leather pants that John was so turned on by. He had a J.O. a day later. Get over yourself Keanu. Get over yourself. You're a dime a dozen. you're not that hot you don't have a great body shut up So do she That was complete rig step

So that she could shit on him right after that perfect timing right there It's so stupid and so and I'll use John's word transparent that he thought she was hot and then she goes Yeah, he's kind of a douchebag. He's like you're not hot at all. Yeah, you have a terrible body. Yeah, yeah No, not hot then I jerked off the thought of somebody wearing clothes. Yeah, we need one of those flashbacks right, so For some reason missy is now ugly and kiano doesn't have a hot body. Okay, sure Right. Well, I'll play along is our world. I do what's happening right here. Why not? So Superman he so he's rewatching the same part again. He's really bad at scrubbing

He doesn't understand precise scrubbing. So he goes back way too far. And then he watches the whole thing again. He's never scrubbed anything. Producer Chris every time. So he rewatches the same part again, and again is upset about the same thing. Yes, I was Gandhi popped on his his show and then he came on my show and obviously the man's trying to impress me and be like, obviously I'm trying to impress you.

That's what she said. Does he just not remember from 30 seconds ago? No, he just, he doesn't have comebacks. Yeah. So he's going to say it a few times. Do you think I'd give a frog's fat ass about impressing you? Yes, I think you want to fuck her, John. You explain your entire fantasy when you were jerking off to her about how you guys were reading books together at first,

and you went to dinner, that you guys were... He had at first and you went to dinner that you guys were he had all these details came inside her came inside her and tried to start a family it was nuts and now he's like girls are yucky you think i'm trying to oppress you yes obviously and he never has a comeback that's why i have to repeat the thing he just heard because he's got nothing else so now he gets very mean and he's he's hurt so he's got nothing else. So now he gets very mean. He's he's hurt. So he's gonna get nasty. Now you're an only fans fucking prostitute. That's all you are. And believe me, I don't fucking have to impress you. Oh, I can't say and don't say you don't show everything on your only fans because you do. Did he just spit on you?y. Yeah, I

Can't hit his Butthole mouth there's so many things disgusting about him But his mouth is the worst and not just because the shit that comes out of it. He does the the turtle lip You know snapping turtle lips got that and oh just away He said fans and reminded me of Joan Crawford in mommy dearest She's like why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? And she goes, because I'm not one of your best.

And you wound up that ass. I thought you were going to say it reminds you of the fact that he has none. Look at that face. Oh, god. No. Every time. Every time.

I want to play this again. The end of this. You. And don't say you don't show everything. every time. I want to play this again. The end of this. You and don't say you don't show everything on your only fans because you do. Oh, there's someone who's been Googling

Keanu Thompson. Yeah. Only fans. Only show prep he does. Yes. I love that. It's like, well, you just kind of let it out of the bag there. Johnny do want to impress her I would imagine you're looking at her nude Vince needs to send him a no ma'am shirt. Yeah Yeah, that's what he needs right now. He's at right now So now cuz you know how he likes to yell at people who aren't in there it can't respond now. He's gonna yell at Gino Gino was I trying to impress her?

No, was I being nice? Yes, Gino look I'm not happy. I'm glad my buddy Chris fucking show me this because I ain't happy about it. You fuck. John Strix is a guy who has a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a lot of money. He's got a happy. I'm glad my buddy Chris fucking showed me this because I ain't happy about it. You fuck.

John Strixie is a guy who actually has imaginary friends. Yeah. The way he's talking to Gino right now. Well, does he think Gino's going to take his side? I don't know what he thinks. He loves talking to people. Maybe if he yells loud enough, I don't know. That's insane. Okay. So then, like I said, he goes off about Mike Bichetti. For some reason. I mean, this is literally in

the middle of this rant, where he's all hurt and offended that Missy B and Keanu are making fun of him. He goes off on Mike Bichetti. He's got a fun nickname for him now. He's got a fun nickname for him now. OK, doesn't matter. I can fucking look. I flew out the guy. Who's fucking half. To find California

on my own dime, put him up. Feed him and believe me, feed and special head is a lot of money. Special Head. Get him in it, audition for my agent, fucking audition for the fucking Tonight Show fucking producer and get him on the fucking list, he's passed. Put him on the road with me and yes, Bo Shetty, Special Head, I did. I am the one who got you on Stern,

because I was still there when you were on Stern, and Sal and Richard weren't. So just because you're too stupid to remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Oh my God, he is just wrecked. But let's forget about that. Let's just focus on the real issue. I flew you to fuck out on my own dog. And what do you do to me time and time again? You give it to me up the ass.

You're a fucking trader. You're a fucking coward. Fuck you special head and fuck you Keanu. Okay, Rebecca Don't be the fuck off But what amazing thing like manipulating with compassion claiming that he needs it and also claiming that he gives it Here like we know your games, you're an evil man. That is tropes of an evil, evil man. Well, to your point, Chris, it's pretty obvious that this is a performance of John. He's getting really close to the camera,

he's got it zoomed in, he's making all the actions and everything like that. But it's like he had to bring up Mike Bocchetti to get himself worked up. Because he hasn't watched anything that he could react like this yet. So he's got to get himself worked up because he hasn't watched anything that he could react like this yet So he's got to get himself all worked up, but he knows the clip cuz no one's really done anything wrong, right? So he's looking at him like we all know he's looking at himself when he does this. This is psycho shit This is already buko doing the fight for the French guy bitching it like this is what he's doing. This is psychotic behavior Looking at me are you looking at me are you talking about my kids

how do i look i do not want to see any of his mirrors you know how like you have a little toothpaste on yours his is probably coated you probably can't even see it he thinks he's seeing somebody else it's a window but it's just this dirty, dirty mirror. That explains a lot. Let's get back on track. Let's talk about the real villain here. Obviously, Keanu, let's get back on that. Oh, but you and Pocky's girlfriend. So you got to join the bandwagon, don't you? Because you got to impress Pocky's girlfriend.

Because Pocky's girlfriend fucking Geno works for Pocky's girlfriend, fucking, Gino works for Pocky. You gotta fucking throw me under the bus for fucking Pocky. Fuck you, Keanu. Oh! A finger in all. Fuck you. No, it was like a pig puff. The most insulting thing is that he acts like Keanu can't have her own thoughts in her

head. That she has to sit there. Well, she's a woman, woman and that's what he thinks about but she didn't she really didn't say anything no so far you didn't see anything that would get of this upset he's just doing his own version of kumia's cucks now yes it's like he's one step away from being zoomed out yeah just overre overreacting to nonsense. It's not that interesting at all. But finally we do get to an insult. And this is the insult that shook the dabble verse.

But I can't help myself that I find it entertaining. You just talk to him like a fucking kindergartener. Oh my god. Oh my god. He was taken aback. Yeah, well, let me point something out because John scrubbed the video way back, watched the whole thing over again.

And so he saw her say that and then it goes, what? And then scrubs it back and watches the whole thing again. So he knew that was coming up. Cause he was like waiting, like, well, how am I going to react to this? So then he had it in his head. Then he started the guy. He's like, Oh, I paused it right there.

You talk to me like a kindergartner Oh my god his soul left his body you talk to me like a kindergarten. Yes, cana Kiana, I ain't no kindergarten. Okay double negative. I'm not a kid the gardener cana I Double negative. I'm not a kindergarten Canada I Can run circles around you when it comes to intelligent on the playground? Certainly not physically So that apparently was the most insulting thing you could say to John is that you're talking to him like he's a kindergarten The more insulting things you could say to a kindergartner.

Yes. He really is letting us know. It's so great. Yeah, he wants to be respected for his intelligence. I think that's the thing that really gets under his skin the most is when you say, you're kind of an idiot. Yeah. He gets very upset about that. Well, I lost my looks. That's evident.

So I have to lead into my intelligence. Right. God. So this is the way he gets back at someone saying that he's a dummy. You're nothing but a two bit whore. Got it. Yeah, I said it. You're fucking on OnlyFans and you're charging people so you can show your naked body.

And you're talking to me like a kindergartener. You got to be fucking kidding me Okay, so he's slut shaming. Yeah Mr. Progressive over here is now slut shaming, but he's also mad that she's charging You must be really stupid if your heart you're using that to get money Yeah, he's jealous because he could never do that All he could do is let people make fun of him on the internet for money right says nobody would give him any money for Being hot ever that's a good point when you talk about being a whore John literally Pimps himself out there and read super chats people just goofing on him and his family, and that's how he makes a living now

That's way more embarrassing than being a hot chick and showing your body. Yeah And use his crooked ugly finger and do like finger pains And that's it, but never shows Probably actually good like I want to see him do next is have Like a dunking booth backdrop and just rotten tomato you buy rotten tomatoes Digital tomatoes throwing it and just like hitting him in the face because that's that's what he's doing right now That's his job is to let people throw tomatoes at him. We actually that was pitched to Chad Zubak

To come to dabble kind of just sit that dog Spent a lot of money on that. Oh my god. Well, give me 50% of the proceeds. OK, yeah. I'll put a little bit more. I'll be like 80. You're in.

Yeah. All right, so this is hilarious because what Kianna is explaining here is how she has to stroke John's ego whenever she talks to him, which everyone does, or he gets very upset. Everyone should stroke anything of John. Exactly. But listen to what John says.

It's so stupid. And then be like, yeah, well, yeah, I call him, well, you're the prom king of the dabble verse. Yeah, you call me that. I don't give a shit what you call me. Get it right, the Duke of the dabble verse. Ooh! She calls him the prom king of the dabble verse.

He goes, I don't care what you call me, but get it right, I'm the Duke of the dabble verse. What goes, I don't care what you call me, but get it right. What? Wasn't it not that long ago that he hated the word dabble and all that? Like he's embraced it now. And then he was the go. Yes, that was a go to now he's the Duke, the Duke of the Devil. He all right, Missy, it's coming back on you now. OK, I hope you're ready for this.

This is going to get pretty hurtful. It's got back on you now. Okay. I hope you're ready for this. This is gonna get pretty hurtful. It's got that. That's hilarious. You insulted kindergarteners with that. They are smart. Oh, look at you, Pocky's fucking sperm receptacle. Look at you, sperm receptacle. You gotta now fucking put me down.

Look at Keanu. Let's trash John. They do seem to be having fun. I love making Kiki laugh. I love John trying to figure out what the insults gonna be. I gotta watch that again. Look at you. Pocky's Pocky's fucking so quick on of the ever popular. The one thing you should be good at is insults.

He throws out all day long. That's all he was received his whole life. Yes. Can't go up with an insult. All right. We got a couple more clips to play. I do want to bring on Dick Masterson because he's here. We got a package.

I've been wanting to meet Dick Masterson cuz he's here Wow piece of shit this guy is and the funny thing is he paused the video to say that Roaster pause My old friend It's good stuff anyway, yeah meet missy be miss B. Meet Dick Masterson. Hi, Missy. How's it going? Oh, thanks. All right. So now you and Keanu are going to do your guys starring John Impressions. John gets very upset about this. Because he's always been nice to me and it doesn't offend me when he's like Keanu in those leather pants. I definitely jerked off to her.

I definitely jerked off to her. Oh my god. I promise, I'm only going to jerk off to both of you once. Oh, is that her impression of me? Look at this girl. Oh. Oh. You know what? This is the reason why men need Viagra.

Dude, can you please? Sick bird. Can you? You're fatter than hell. You can't get an erection that is why I know not the two skinny girls Yep, this is why guys can't get it up like what is why we go okay? King over here To look at his face though when they were saying that he was just like so this one right here shock

John if you need Viagra for either of those two girls, you're probably gay. All right. After this, so he's playing all this stuff, he's reacting to, he's getting all upset. Keanu asks him for the link so she can come on the show. So he sends it to her, she comes on the show, and John, I apologize. Just apologizes to him immediately. We were just having lighthearted fun. We didn didn't I wasn't trying to upset you. You know, you've always been great each other shows and This is how John handles her coming out of the show. I really I want to apologize if that's okay with you number two

the next time you're on with missy be Pocky's fucking The next time you're on with Missy B, Pocky's fucking new sperm receptacle who pays your husband to be on his network. It's not a new sperm receptacle. She's been around forever. And I love her and I love Anthony. So imagine my dismay. It all comes from your relationship with Pocky. What's that? What's that?

What's that? She knows y'all are going to get the background. If he calls him Pocky, one more fucking time. It all spurs from your relationship with Pocky. That's why you had to take this fucking line. You had to just say, OK, I'm going to trust John, because Pocky doesn't like John. Also, he has great skin and he's looking wonderful. So I disavow when you

say that. But you know, my be true. There's another thing that John does. He makes fun of Keanu for using British phrases, which is something that John does all the fucking time. It's a great deal. Fucking hell. So I shagged this girl the other day dick John likes to hang out at this British pub and so because of that he has an accent kind of like how Madonna got an accent from living in England I'm such an alcoholic! How big of an alcoholic are you? Well the closest bar is a British pub so I got a

British accent now I was saying this before the started, but I was watching that Oasis doc last night and Every time they took fucking hell was triggering me. I'm like Freeze now, it's alcoholic code switching And he still managed to develop the lowest class British accent possible right yeah, it's amazing It's perfect. Sorry. I have a okay. Hey John. I'm so sorry. I'm a Fucking it's just it's just enough Watch this Walker. I don't want to hear from this fucking crump again So he's mad that she called him immature

She comes out to apologize. He kicks her off at the blocks her immediately I don't want to get a text from her ever again blocked. That's very immature Doing her a favor Jesus. No shit. That's for sure So I just thought that was funny that John kind of proved That he should be treated like a kindergartener one more clip that I have for you guys, I think you guys are going to find this fun. And uh, Kindi, watch out for this. Now, I don't know about you guys, but you know, everybody sneezes from time to time. And what I like to do is cover my face when I do that. I know it sounds crazy, right?

Oh Do it right into the camera, let's get a good look at what you're packing there I don't turn your head. I know you're thinking dick. Can we see that in slow motion? Yes, we can Zone look at how much comes out of his mouth here. I don't. Oh, no! No! It looks like a... That was solid.

It looked like the emoji for smoke. You ever seen the smoke emoji? That was the smell of his face. He's a human garbage pail kid. Did he get his shirt at like a secondhand secondhand store? Yeah, it's restored up. When you're this sloppy, it's like the neck hole looks like it just gave birth. It looks like there's stains all over it. It's a gaping neck hole.

Yeah, that's been run through by the 76ers. John is a s not receptacle. You can tell what he had for breakfast yesterday in that sneeze. What a sicko. Alright, I said that was the last clip. I have one more punch bag for us. This is from the day before. And there's a lot of tells with John that we've caught on to One of them is when he's lying he touches his face

You can't help but get a little itch out his cheek or something John and Dean. Thanks for the two bucks When was the last time you got laid? That's the sad part things been about eight months I didn't get a I didn't get you know a little oral that was about two two months ago Is that a question? Speaking and saying no, I will not have sex with you does he I just love that was like we got late if the lie is eight months. Can you imagine?

Have you had sex since COVID? Let me just think about that You mean this call for the last one when he's trying to communicate to the first base coach Oh, could you remind me about the last one? Yeah. When he's trying to communicate to the first base coach, I can steal if he wants. What are we doing? Oh my god. Dick said on his show this past week, one of

the sneakiest, funniest things that did not get a good reaction. So I wanted to give him credit for it. Him and Sean were talking about how women can't be major league baseball players because they don't have the athletic ability to do so. And Dick goes, yeah, women can never play in the MLB. Imagine explaining to her the infield fly rule and then saying, OK, you're on second.

What do you do? So you turn into your job to play baseball. That's the fucking that's that's why women can't play sports with men. That's the advantage that trans people have over women. It's not the physicality which is there, but it's the mental part. It's the mental part. They gotta call timeouts. If anybody ever watched a WNBA game, they have to call timeouts and explain to them the rules over and over and over the whole game. Following the rules is the hardest part.

Dude, that was such a funny line. You got nothing from Sean. That was such a funny lie. You got nothing from Sean I was yelling at my phone. That was great. What are you doing? All right, I wanted to play this for you missy if you can hang out I'd love to have you if you got to go. Okay. I want to I hope you haven't seen this yet I want to introduce you to something that we found recently on YouTube and I'm interested to see what your reaction is to this. Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. I'm Lindsay.

And I'm Teddy. And today we're going to talk about the word queer. Today we're talking about consent. Today we're celebrating Pride Month. Today we're going to talk about... That better be a short conversation. Ten times. Ten times. Clear kid stuff. They're talking about consent? If an adult wants to have a conversation about consent with you, the answer is no.

Next topic. I don't think she's ever been asked. LGBTQ plus educational videos for all ages, where we imagine a kinder and more equal future. Well, at least Teddy got away. Teddy just hanged himself. Okay, so let's see what these educational videos are familiar with queer kids stuff dick Feel like I did they say gay means happy yes It means a dick in your ass

That's kind of confusing You need an education mr. Masterson so all right let me stuck in the era where all of stuttering John's insults come from early 90s Alright, so what's John's kid? It could be Friends welcome to queer kids stuff.er Kid Stuff, I'm Lindsay. And I'm Teddy. And today we're talking about the B in LGBT. B is for bisexual. Wait, haven't we done this episode before?

Queer Kid Stuff. B is for bad mixing. My chest is getting tight. You are enough. Here at Queer Kid Stuff. You ready Teddy? Ready Lindsay. I will point out right now the comments are turned off on this video Unless you're under 13

Then they have a special discord you go to LGBT Lindsey we already know all about that. B stands for bisexual. I know we've talked about this before, but we need to talk about it again. Well, are we learning something new about bisexuality? Well, sort of, but not exactly. Then what? We've already done this. Yes, get to it.

I have a bit of a confession to make, Teddy. What is it, Lindsay? Do you remember the definition for bisexuality from the last time we talked about it? Bisexual is when a boy or a girl loves other boys or girls. Bisexual is when you love people of both genders. Yeah, so you picked up on that immediately, didn't you? Yeah, that's very outdated. She just said you like both genders? What?!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You better correct yourself on that one. Stonewall over here, come on! I wish B was for bullet. Well that definition is wrong. It is? Yeah, it's wrong. The original definition I gave wasn't right

and it was actually kind of hurtful to a lot of bisexual people I gave myself lashes That definition is old and can exclude some people who identify as bisexual That definition is like weeks old. I can't believe we had this on the show. I apologize to everyone So that's why we're doing this episode again. I wanted to apologize for that first video with the wrong definition. I know it hurt people and that's not okay. It's really important to talk about mistakes like- Were you the one that sent the email in?

Who's complaining about this? I just wasted- I was like, oh I need to put that on my show. This can take responsibility for your actions. So that's what I'm doing. And I want to right this wrong. I want to try to do better now. And that's why I'm making today's video

and telling you the correct definition for bisexual. Like a do-over. Yeah, Teddy. Like a do-over. Is that the new slang for trans people? Do-overs? Do-overs. Ha ha ha That a new slang for trans people Got it wrong the first But it completely negates the beginning of the word by it means to correct so now that it needs to be thrown out It doesn't apply to anything anymore is what she's saying. I mean isn't this polysexual. It's

Omnisexual yeah, there is already a word for what she's about to describe here. We go fucking goalpost yet again illness sexual That's just being a straight man All right, let's see the special effects coming up here. She just snapped her finger About the B in LGBT. It stands for... Bisexual!

That's right, Teddy. Alright! The word bisexual is similar to the words gay and lesbian because it's about a person's sexuality. Teddy, what do you think the word bi means? Ummm... Two? There are lots of words that start with bi, just like bisexual.

Oh, oh, bisexual. She actually thinks this is programming for children. This isn't a joke. What a fucking psycho! Yes, she wouldn't think this playful banter with Teddy are kids are gonna be like, ehehehe What does bi mean? Vito should do a shot for shot remake of this.

See? But now we have to figure out Well, you know should do a shot-for-shot remake of this But now we have to figure out What all of the genders are yeah, and then we go from by to try to quad? blah blah blah you know all the way up to the 15 genders that there are now to fucking the Eiffel Tower or whatever a Fake they people marrying a roller coaster. That's what is that now? So does a bicycle have like infinity wheels is that yes, I mean, okay bilingual That's really good Teddy, do you know what all those things have in common?

Well a bicycle has two wheels and if you're bilingual that means you speak two languages and Binoculars have two scopes to look out of. I know I know Two they all have two. That's right, Teddy. Teddy's fucking quick, man Teddy bear it's very impressive. Is this an infomercial for homeschooling? So Bisexual is to what bisexual means you love people who are the same gender as you and people who are a different gender The bicycle has a front wheel and then other wheels Yeah That are in another place

Hahaha There's a wheel on the front and a broken skateboard on the back That's just like being bisexual And a wheel that we don't talk about Hahaha Isn't that everyone? Well, it could be. Let's talk to my friend Taylor about it. Hi!

Hello! Hi Taylor! What are your pronouns and how do you identify? Every time there's a guest on this show, Teddy asks, what are your pronouns and how do you identify? That's always the first question. Also, can we also pay in mind that Teddy has a hand up his ass and it's on that man's lap

You wanna see a behind the scenes of this like a guy in a morph suit soaked in sweat trying to Thread the needle of where his hand is between this gooch or whatever she's rocking Do I have consent? Do I have consent? Do I a guy. Do I have consent? Do I have consent? Do I have consent? Do I have consent? Do I have consent? Do I have consent? That's the thing that's crazy about this.

Why not have a puppet? Why is it a stuffed animal and some guy with his hand has to sit there and pull his hand up and move his head around? Well, it all comes back to consent. Maybe Teddy didn't want some of the animals ass. Real quick, Bad at Karate just gifted five. Who are these podcast memberships? Thank you very much.

Bad at Karate, I appreciate that. And so the people that you gifted those memberships for. How do you identify? I use she, her pronouns, and I identify as a black bisexual woman. So now you can identify as race? Didn't we just talk about, we just did the Rachel Dolezal podcast, where she had a Puerto Rican on who identified as African American. Is this really a thing though? I guess so. I mean, I identify as African American when I need something from the government. Sure. Yeah, who doesn't I? Don't want to take tests. I have really bad test scores. Can I just be African American at 30? Yeah, we're talking about

Bisexuality I heard how can I help well? I have a few questions ask away Does bisexual mean you can love everyone? Well sort of. Being bisexual means you can love people of the same gender as you and people with a different gender. So isn't that everyone? What the fuck? Well no because I'm also attracted to turtles as well as men. That's not bisexual I think. I'm a Hispanic veteran when I apply for jobs. Is that okay? Yeah, we just learned that it doesn't matter if a person is a boy or girl or non-binary or cisgender or trans

Being bisexual usually means that you can love anyone of any gender that sounds so cool Big difference, man. That sounds so cool. That's cooler than motorhead. Go tell your parents that you want to be bisexual when you grow up. For me, when I love someone, their gender is part of why I love them. Gender is a part of why I love someone, but it's not a reason why I wouldn't love someone. Does that make sense, Teddy?

No. Do you love the color blue, Teddy? No! Ummm. Do you love the color blue, Teddy? Yeah, I do! This right here, I watched this this morning. This is the dumbest analogy you could possibly come up with. Someone, does that make sense, Teddy? Ummm.

So the right reaction only for you. Yeah, I do! Why do you love it? It makes me feel safe and cozy and calm. It's like the sky. And do you love yellow, too? I love yellow it makes me feel happy like a big smiley face. How about green? No, I hate green remind me when my uncle molested me That turned me into a lesbian

That's actually not the answer. Ah shit. Believe it or not. Love yellow. It makes me feel happy. Like a big smiley face. How about green? Green makes me feel strong. Like a big giant tree. So you love all those colors right Teddy?

Yes. And you love them all for different reasons right? Because they make you feel different. Yeah. Well that's kind of what being bisexual is like for me. What? First off, Right because they make you feel different. Yeah. Well, that's kind of what being bisexual is like for me what First off nobody likes colors because how they make you feel no, that's not a thing. They just made that shit off Right there realizing something though safe. I mean I took a color theory class. Sorry. Yeah I was just gonna say I must be sexually attracted to my rifle

You feel safe cozy and calm do you want want to go out your only fans address now or? Except with gender instead of colors. I get it now. But not everyone who's bisexual feels the same way as me. For some people, gender doesn't matter at all. There are lots of different ways to be bisexual. There are also different identities that are similar to being bisexual that some people might say they identify as pansexual or fluid all of these identities fall under the by

umbrella why that doesn't make any fucking sense no this is she's gonna be apologizing for this episode in a couple of months yeah well we fucked up again daddy angry bells from by people we've talked about umbrellas before, like LGBT. Yeah, Teddy. Those are umbrella terms. The bi umbrella represents the larger community of people who love more than one gender. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a bisexual umbrella and an LGBT umbrella and the B in LGBT is for bisexual

Why do they go through that whole thing of what by means? If that's not what it means anymore That was kind of a waste of time So, so, so There are two umbrellas Bi umbrellas, bi-brellas! Whoo! Thanks so much for coming Taylor

Comic relief everybody It is exhausting You're welcome to explain bisexuality. It is exhausting. You're very welcome. Are you okay there, Teddy? Thank you so much for watching. Don't forget to hit subscribe and make sure you check out Taylor's channel. It's right here.

Have you ever heard of Vagisil? V is for Vagisil. Every pause that you do, I think a Peter Griffin voice is going to come out of this girl's mouth. Every pause he's like, you think that's bad. She has lots of amazing videos on activism and social change. It reminds me of the time when my dad actually loved me. Videos just like this and can't Donation on our PayPal that's super helpful too, and that's it for day. We'll see you next time a queer kids stuff

So here's another fun one Lesbian they could bring in there like that's very ableist. I already feel like I have to start going to church again Oh, yeah, she looks hot this one messy. Oh, man Today we're talking about what it means to be a sexual Let me get to the fun part of this because they bring a hot a person who's a sexual We all met this girl before. The coat rack? The coat rack. Look at the special effects that happen here.

This is amazing. Hey Lindsay. Hey Teddy. Hello. It's so well centered. Alisa, I need a little help explaining what asexual means to Teddy. Can you help me out? Sure thing.

I have two questions first. Can you answer me out? Sure thing! I have two questions first. Can you answer them please? Sure Teddy, what would you like to ask me? That's the first question. What are your pronouns and how do you identify? I use she, her, and hers and I identify as asexual, queer, and cisgender.

Thank you. Okay, now tell me what asexual is. Please. Go for it, Alisa. Okay, you went over the kissing stuff already, right? It means I stopped doing math about eight months ago. Okay, explaining what asexual means is pretty simple then. Being asexual is when adults love each other romantically, but they don't want to express those feelings through something

like kissing or other ways of expressing love physically Should be what you are The child should be asexual always That's the end of this lesson. It's insane when we're horny we high five That's the difference between expressing your love physically through something like kissing or verbally through words Some asexual people actually like to kiss but don't like other physical expressions of love What there are actually a lot of different ways to be asexual we call this a spectrum You're just a frigid cock tease

So this is my favorite part of this video Teddy asked what are the other ways of expressing love physically aside from kissing? Which is a pretty good follow up question if you ask me. Smacking her around. I was going to say, I've got the bruises on my shoulders showing. Choking. Alright, let's check this out. Let's see how they handle this.

Door slamming. What are other ways to physically express love? Well, Teddy, that's a whole other topic that we're going to save for later. Is that okay with you? But I want to know. Okay, fine, we'll tell you. Wow, you're so persistent, Teddy. Teddy runs the show.

Teddy's coming on to me. This is a whole show about who fucks who and for what reasons and they go, so wait, what is this fucking thing? Like, we're not talking about that. That's for apps. That's for apps. That's for apps. That's for apps.

That's for apps. That's for apps. That's for apps. That's for apps. Teddy's coming on to me. This is a whole show about who fucks who and for what reasons and they go so wait What is this fucking thing? We're not talking about that That's for This is for children. He said I want it now Never all right, that's a no-no word. I have to play this video for you because it cracked me up. I was Laughing out loud by myself in my office this morning watching this video. Hey there! Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. I'm Lindsay. And I'm Teddy.

Today we're doing a very special story time episode with Drag Queen Story Hour. We'll be reading a book called Hoonion as a Mermaid written and illustrated by Jessica Love. Queer Kid Stuff You are enough here at Queer Kid Stuff You ready, Teddy? Ready, Lindsay. Does every pedophile not play a ukulele?

Yes. They're born with bad skills. Unbelievable. It's neither a violin nor a guitar. No. Hello, I am Angel. Holy shit! Oh my god.

My pronouns are her, she, when I'm in drags, and when I'm out of drag, or he, him. Story time, story time, story time. We're getting to it, Teddy. This is a monster. Is that like what came out of John's mouth when he sneezed? This is crazy. One of my favorite books. I hope you like it too.

This is Julianne is a Mermaid and it is illustrated and written by Jessica Love. Are you ready Teddy? I'm ready Angel. Okay here we go it's about sex yeah i don't want to think about teddy this is a boy named julian and this is his abuela and those are some mermaids are they standing? Julian loves mermaids. How are they standing? BCB is already poking holes in this story. I love mermaids too.

Right here Julian is imagining himself being a mermaid. Wow, look at that. That's little boy's time to do that. Have you ever imagined being a mermaid yourself? Why are there photos of a child underpants in this book? Wow look at how beautiful this mermaid is underneath the water with all the fish We see a stingray stingray they got the crocodile on her it sounds like the prostitute robot from Futurama See yeah, I see a jellyfish you don't know what you can

Let me a woman for you Wow for you Wow Big fish and well that is Julian. He's a mermaid look look he's imagining himself in the water swimming like a mermaid Also, is that really happening okay? I like how this book has no words to read Yeah, where means on the subway yeah Yeah, we're basically in New York Yeah, I saw splash. Oh wow What stop is that?

Hell Wow Wow. Is that what the Beastie Boys were talking about? Houses, water everywhere. So Julian is pretty much imagining that he's a mermaid. Abuela, did you see those mermaids? I saw them, mijo. Abuela, I am also a mermaid.

No you aren't, asshole. Put on some boy clothes and go play baseball. I didn't see no mermaids me. I saw a bunch of my comments though It's crazy though this book the whole point is to illustrate that you can be something that doesn't exist Yes, my goal is to achieve something that is unachievable. Yeah, this is a person who can go underwater Yeah, like a colored person who can go underwater What? Candy's getting spicy in here Alright It's been a long day for her

How do you think they got here from Puerto Rico? On a raft, duh Fair enough. So wait, do the bisexuals fuck mermaids? I think they do, right? It's all under the umbrella We gotta find the hole It's under the umbrella. Hey, move that umbrella I actually like the water take a bath you be good

Julian has a good idea take out his clothes again Fuck man, there's 12 pages and four of them are this kid taking his clothes off It's browsing Grandmother's bedroom right now Julian is going for the flowers. You see the plants This is centerfold Right now Julian is going for the flowers. You see the plants? That's so fucking naughty! Okay, so what else do we see here? Wow, look at that curtain. He's ripping the curtain down? He has a headpiece.

Oh my god, wait till your father gets home. Let's see, we're gonna find that right now. Uh oh. Oh shit. Come here, Miho. Grandma's calling him. The face looks like stuttering John. What do you think is going to happen, Teddy? I don't want him to get in trouble. Okay, okay, so let's see.

For me, Aguela, for you, Julian, this beautiful necklace that Julian's grandma just gave him, Teddy. A pearl necklace. I was, oh Jesus, I was hoping it was a big wooden spoon. Can we be a little more subtle about what we're trying to teach people here for Christ's sake?

Is this like making him smoke the whole pack? Oh you wanna be a mermaid huh, meh-ho? Here's some burro snout, take you outside in the fire extinguisher! Look at everyone, look at Julian and laugh everyone! Beat him like a pinata! Isn't that beautiful? Okay, so now Abuela and Julian are leaving the house. So we gotta find out where they're going.

That's a big mistake. It's kind of a weird. I know there's a Brooklyn, there's a parade in Brooklyn called Coney Island. The mermaid parade in Coney Island. So let's see maybe that's where they're going. Where are you going? You'll see César Buella. Prostitutes? Jesus Christ.

I was gonna say yes. Yes. And so they are, mermaids, whispers Julian. So are mermaids whispers Julian Wow, look how beautiful these mermaids look all different. Look we have a crap here Yeah, all different. None of them are white White mermaid lobster. What else we have here? We have everything

So, what do you think happens next Teddy Oh a lot of crap. So what do you think happens next? Teddy this Julian get to be a real mermaid. Yes, Teddy Be a real mermaid fucking idiot Make any fucking sense Teddy Julian can try but he was not born the chromosomes You sound stupid what one more quick thing I want to play for you guys because um Apparently this way what happens? I know I would See her I

asked Jessica love to come to queer kid stuff and Answer all of your questions today, Teddy. What? I get to meet another person who wrote a book? I wouldn't call that writing a book. Yeah. It's kind of insulting to actual authors. That's right, Teddy.

It's more of a grooming pamphlet. Thank you so much for coming by and reading us who Leon is a mermaid. Of course. All right. Stay tuned for the author. Yeah. So I guess we're gonna be another episode. I have a question. I have a question. Why do you only read books to children? Yeah, right. Yeah. What are you doing? All right. So we're gonna find out something about Lindsay that I think you guys are gonna be shocked by because even she was shocked by this. putting this news out there. Hey there, I'm Lindsay. Welcome to queer kid stuff.

Today I wanted to talk about a bit of an update on my identity. You are enough here at Queer Kid Stuff. We've been talking a lot recently about different parts of our identity in our series on privilege. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my identity. I hope that talking about my identity with you can help you figure out some things about your identity. I talked about my identity before, like how I identify as queer and as white and as Jewish Well, I actually wanted to talk about that last one my gender

Up until now. I've always identified as being a cisgender woman who uses she pronouns But recently I've actually been questioning this part of my identity I'm I'm just not getting enough attention This was just spiking Are successfully Plies I can't call myself a woman I'm a cisgender woman This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently and I'm still kind of figuring it out

That's just typical man just thinking about if he's a woman or not family and a new word that I think maybe describes how I'm feeling That word is non-binary. So Lindsey's now a non-binary. Shocking, right? I love how you can just decide that you're not like I'm no longer a drunk drug addicted loser I'm a fuck machine billionaire. That's how I identify. I think you're getting over your skis with that one. I do have a voicemail for Dick Masterson. Oh cool. They came in Hey, so I'm a little behind fuck you cry about it. Anyway, um, I'm listening to the end of the periphery podcast and The one guy was talking about Kevin Lando and you brought it up. I'm trying to be quick

basically what happened was like It's like entity that knows all about all of the fucking Things about the internet things the website is quick basically they determined that Jake used or like purchased the domain and bad faith and So they they made him as far as I know, made him relinquish the name, kevinalando.com, aka worldsworths employer.com. You can still look that up. The only reason I know is because I was going to do the same thing to a promoter that fucked me over.

He doesn't own his name or LLC, so I was just going to buy it and basically do the exact same thing. What day of the week was this? buy it like basically do the exact same thing and then I remember what happened to Dick and I don't, I'm not rich. So my parents didn't buy me a house. Anyway, goodbye, I love you. Well, we're young. No, you should still do it because the only reason the stupid lawyer that gave Landau his domain back, the only reason he gave it back is because it was another lawyer.

If it was anybody else, they don't give a fuck what happens to anybody else. The only reason he was doing it is because it was another lawyer if it was anybody else They don't give a fuck what happens anybody else the only reason he was doing is because there's another lawyer And it still costs land out like 1500 bucks to file the the claim to get the domain back So still funny so it was worth it. Yeah, all right quick game of to catch an alien then I'll let everybody go Thank you guys so much for hopping on episode 500. This is this has been very exciting dick Just had episode 400 that seems kind of cool, too. I guess Slacker All right, it's time for everyone's favorite game show to catch an alien

Are you ready to play? to catch An alien and I go back and forth with this to catch An alien and I go back and forth with this and if anything I think they're already here I and we can't see them like they have they've had more time to advance and they're right here which He kind of elaborated to a little bit like that dimensional thing that multi-dimensional So imagine if an asteroid is common, but whatever civilization was here was a hundred thousand years more than us Sure But whatever civilization was here was 100,000 years more than us. Sure. And they were able to, say, go in the ocean or get away from whatever the issue was,

teleport, whatever, for how many years until it was okay. And by then, we evolved to this. And now we're just a bunch of idiots running around, trying not to blow things up and destroy ourselves. And now they're around, like, the nuke sites and everything else. So in my opinion, being that no one has anything There's nothing ever that somebody isn't ratting or showing and even with brush and the other guys I saw I talked to I heard words, but not one person has anything Where's where's the proof where's the proof yeah, and then India tried it and then they did a DNA test and they made them

Yeah, that was the one where I was like, yeah, Mexico, I think it was. What did Tommy say next? Here are your choices. Number one. Yeah, one of them. B, I always confuse those two. Next, same difference. Four. I'm sure India did it too. And lastly, I meant Feather, not Dot. Man.

Okay. I always go first on this. So I want it to be same difference. I'm going to go with next same difference. Kindy, you're next to me. So what do you got? I think it probably is that but I want to go with feather nods. Of course. That would be fantastic. Andy, what do you think? I'll do four. India did it too. All right. Missy B.

B. I always confuse those two. Yeah, and dick. What do you think yeah one of them? I guess that's that Producer Chris I went with four Four all right. What do you guys think any four you're going? Patrick's not sure one all right. We're all over the board here. This is how you know. It's a good game alien DNA test and they made them yeah, that was the one where I was like oh, yeah, Mexico. I think it was Yes, I thought the same thing brother Yes, I thought the same thing brother To catch an alien dick no, I think we played this last time I recognize that big lip potato cuz there's a

Beginner's luck to this sometimes involved but congrats. All right, let's see what else we got here still open to Anything being possible at this point? So I just want them I'm with her flight. That's all but I just don't think so I think if you could bend time you're not gonna crash and if you did crash somebody's gonna talk What do you think their skin would look like? What did Tommy say? Definitely no wrinkles. I mean if you're that of all And if they went into the ocean they were preserved yeah, they might have some skin that you would be

It's a good point for this time come back next time to find out if you have the glowing smooth alien like skin enough to catch an alien Also last chance subreddit surfing live is tonight. Get your tickets now! Crossocomedy.com I'm in Rochester

Subreddit surfing live Saturday March the 9th Comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York get your tickets now at Carlson comedy.com Is that a Eugene sit good dog picture of Carlson there that drawing Like this is my goal Comedy.com sit Eugene sit good dog I have to play that part. I'm sorry dick. You're probably wonder like why are we still no I was hoping it would keep going Like the typewriter thing turning into another thing We probably will do that now that you saw that great job and a couple more layers well congratulations

Absolutely, yeah Congratulations, mr.. Masterson on your victory today Very very proud of you Thanks people should check out the dick show dick dot show yeah, but not dick show.com. Don't do that No, I couldn't get that one. I should file a thing on them I've sent them so much money in gay porn referrals I think I thought they wouldn't give it to me for free now You would think yeah check out the biggest problem too on YouTube every Friday where we we got in a huge fantastic fight about ESG and Gamergate 2 that was a good one this week very

acrimonious but thank congratulations and nice to meet you guys good to see you guys again producer Chris yeah thanks so much for swinging by give Vito our best and Tom we're rooting for him everybody see you guys see ya and the great Missy B you can find Missy B on Twitch sometimes. Sometimes. I, again, I've just been neglecting. But yeah, it's Missy B good at Twitch. So one day, one day you go in there, you follow, set the alerts, and then maybe one day you'll see me go live. Very good. Well, Missy, thank you so much for rearranging your schedule to be here today.

I'm glad you got to react to John's insult in real time. I got to say I like not saying that it was underwhelming. I'm not. I just I wish he was like harder on me. But now I'm now that I just threw that out there, it might happen. But yeah, but Missy, you forgot that I called you a God I'm so bloated Jesus he goes right for sexual every time that man cheese, but yeah, thank you again Carl. That was your boyfriend! What's it like? It was toxic in the way!

Alright, Missy. Great to see you. Alright, guys. Thanks. See you next time. Congrats again. Thank you. Thanks for being a part of it. Bye, guys. Bye. Very nice. Vic said she was coming on the show today. We sent her the link. Don't see Vic. I even wrote an extra V in here. Vic said she was coming on the show today. We sent her the link. Don't see Vic.

I even wrote an extra V in here. Yeah, I sent a text to her. We'll see what happens. These are new girls. They're so flaky. They really are. Right up till now. Yeah, they really are just the worst. But you know who's not the worst?

Is, no, actually I can't even say that. Guys, what have we done today? We've done it all. We've done it all. We celebrated our 500th episode. Vinnie Paulino was here with the Mike O'Mara show. I brought Boogered Up podcast. Andy was here with Armchair Expert. We had that amazing 500 celebration video from Jody B. Mr. Magenta and thrown at the editor that weird message from Cardiff. Thanks for putting so much effort into that. Of course, stuttering John going off on Keanu and Missy B and Mike Paschetti for some reason. We had queer kid stuff learning a lot about Lindsay and how she identifies, which is really important

to all of us. We tried to catch an alien. Dick was successful. Some of us weren't. So that means it's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. And I'll just tease this tomorrow at 2pm. We'll be playing the win a date with Lucy game on this very channel.

If you are a YouTube member, or if you sign up for Patreon or Supercast, you can watch that live at 2 p.m. or anytime thereafter. So definitely get on that. WATPlive.com, come see us in Largo, March 22nd. Oh, and someone just posted a photo of Lucy's boobs in our discord. She's mine Yes, so yes, definitely tune in for that

We'll be back with the midweek show and the losers will have to do some extra homework For the midweek show. I don't know if you've been looking at the voting Andy. I have Confident that things will turn around for you and base will there's no time to go on last minute on page around For that guys, please join us again next time. It might be the episode we find out once for all who are these podcasts? Sleep well every opponent of morning radio Great show good job everybody great job everyone Great show. Good job. Everybody. Great job everyone

with Lucy type box from patreon sin TV claims My three-year-old niece could kick John's ass crash awesome has an inquiring mind Karl Tell us more about the brainwashing that's going on in schools and colleges as a child-free parent. You must be the expert Mr. Hamilton burger weighs in on episode 499 Didsy chick clubber fang too drunk Drive, and Producer Chris find objectively bad comedy podcasts, and then compete to see how less funny than the pods the four of them can be, only to see the show not be saved by the inane Times Square Grover and a floating potato. Nice tits on the broad, though. From Facebook, Josh Hardgrove posts a pic of Stevie, Looza, and Quips,

Stevie, it's nice to give blood, but you shouldn't give all of it. Jimmy Calaites is so pines, worst character in the devil verse. And from YouTube, RebelB on Canny1 shares, Carl, the flock of seagulls thing you got going is f**king me up. Ben needs to know,

Carl, does the carpet match the drapes? Dan Craft, in this crazy messed up world, it's good to know that Scorch is still out there doing his thing. Slam Free Poetry notes Scorch has nothing to say but he says it like it's the most important thing you've ever heard. Sean Murphy 26

Finally figured it out. Producer Chris looks exactly like and has the exact personality of Phil Hartman when he's the caveman. The guy is goofy. Kendo gone. Man, between Carl and the Commons this this is getting close to a clan meeting. User up one. Mr. Kumya.

Comment? Thomas VU4YP. This comment identifies as funny. David R. Fuller asks, Carl doesn't OJ live in Florida? Have a live watch party this fall with him in your Cape Coral place. Hide the utensils. None your business coral place. Hide the utensils! None your bidness is sad. This dude decapitates people and is having a better life than I am?

What the fuck? JDT79? I'm sure the makers of Klonopin are happy about that advertisement. External extrapolation sounds mean-spirited. I hope this comes across the right way, because I don't want to sound mean-spirited, but I hope John doesn't stiff us out of witnessing his agonizing exploration on a very special emergency episode of The Stuttering John Show. Dame Taff tweets, that face Mattarisse makes when he does his pedestrian rocky impression

fills me with rage and burns my anus. And from Reddit, our completely unbiased news team reports that Carl's frosted tips posts Trucker Andy hates white people and sublime? Vote for Carl! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo All right. Lucy Titebox plays you out with, Happy 500 everybody! Vote for Booms! All right, Candy! Did you bring any reviews for us today? I did! Excellent!

We have a live review girl today on Upset 500. Very exciting. Sure, you ready? Don't I look ready? It's called This Is Bad. They totally missed the point with the music commentary podcast. YFBS was an awful critique of the show and totally missed the point and have no idea of the background and education of the creators of that hilarious show.

Guess who posted that? The host of I'm sure your favorite bad socks. I think we've heard this one before. I'm pretty sure it's a one star. You just wanted to repeat that one stars are the best All right, I got one more. I have two more. I hope great haven't heard this one yet. Sounds good It's called educational. Does that sound familiar? No, okay good today on episode 496 I learned about 18th century chemist Agnes Pockels ech echolalia, and other fun facts keep up the enlightening

work. That's a five star review. Unfortunately. Yeah baby! I got one more! Helps the algorithm people! Five stars please, thank you! This one also helps the algorithm.

It's called Atrocious. Unfunny garbage from talentless nobodies. That's a five star. No, it's a one star. I think Huzy wrote it. It's from somebody in Ireland. Fucking Hughes. God damn it. Cause I haven't had another show enough recently. Hey, can I do a shout out? Lashing out. Yeah, of course. Shout out to Bob Johnson. He's always in the chat saying nice things about me. The only person.

Shout out to Bob Johnson. If you're in the chat right now, Kindy's thinking about you. Isn't that exciting? And there's already a gif of Bob Johnson in the Discord. These people are fast. Very, very fast. All right. Let's hit some voicemails and then we'll get out of here. We've got the big live show tonight. We've got to get ready for Andy's got to get ready for his show. Oh, God. Live show. Yeah. What you plug is right by the plug section. for and he's got to get ready for his God live show yeah Right by the plug section you're right. I mean I've got dick and missy plug their stuff Yeah, yeah, but all apologies is gonna be live with subreddit surfing tonight

But I want everybody to know that you're gonna be able to see the live all apologies episode on our patreon at all Apologies podcast calm nice five dollars very good sounds worth it to me Sounds very good Candy what are you promoting today? A punch in your face Let's hit some voicemails to get the fuck out of here Call what's up, man? It's Matt. I'm Matt. Just listen to the most recent episode got to say oh my god Your choice with those big dumb adult baby

people, terrible. Oh my god, as someone from Long Island, I'm wildly embarrassed. Those douchebags from Farmingdale or wherever they're from, horrendous. Shout out to WACP. Just let me run through it real quick. Shout out to the New York Rangers. Shout out to the Buffalo Bills, I guess. Shout out to Victor's Pizza in Melville. Shout out to, oh God, I don't even know. But more importantly, shout out to my favorite girl, Lucy Typebox. See ya. See ya, man or mat.

Thanks for the shout outs there. Hey guys, I'm listening to the most recent episode with Joe Matariz talking about how he dabbles in anti-anxiety, as you put it. And a study recently just came out saying that if you use colonopin-based drugs like colonopin, benzodiazepines in general, like Xanax, for more than two weeks it actually causes brain damage You know, it's pretty interesting. I think that might kind of like sum up a lot of Joe's problems his brain damage, you know I'm probably not just joking

I'm more like get off this hunt us grass kind of guy then take a drug, you know, well, bye bye Yeah, Joe's got some problems for sure But I am endlessly fascinated by his one-man play. And the other Kalanipin user, you're also really not supposed to drink while you're taking Kalanipin. Yeah, it's funny. I googled that when I listened to this voicemail. All I did was Google Kalanipin, and the first result is do not mix with alcohol.

I used to be on Kalologne-o-Pen. Yeah? Do you get real fucking drunk on it? No. Oh, okay. Just asking. I know there hasn't been an emergency episode in a bit, but I personally like the emergency episode or whatever it says in all capital letters.

That's Carl's brilliant marketing coming out because it makes me, I think, emergency episode. Oh man, I got to listen to this. I cap open my podcast player and you know, got to listen. Whatever. I'm a retard, but. Well, you are my target audience, sir. I appreciate it. Hey, Carl, how the fuck do you have guys in your episode wrapping and there's no master K? Good point. What the fuck is wrong with you, retard? Oh, and by the way, why the hell do you make me vote for fucking Andy Q Dick Tuck just

because I want to vote for tits Yeah, I'm sorry. That was my Goodbye See and we hate Andy, okay All right, I got a lot of voice spells. It's not the same thing I'm not gonna play all of that all of you and he has Lucy and Carl has Chris. It's kind of same strategy like people All of you and he has Lucy and Carl has Chris it's kind of same strategy All right, you've got bigger tits than crust Gary in San Diego He's got a real problem on his hands though, and I understand this I can relate to this problem right here

Hey, Carl Gary in San Diego Well, just a quick update Judy had warned me not to listen to stuttering John while I'm in the family room or the kitchen And today she came back from the market and I was listening to stuttering John. She said I warned you so now She said, I warned you. So now I can listen to Stuttering John, but I can only listen to Stuttering John in the office, which is a real small room in our house with a computer

and kind of a fold-out bed if we get guests. Anyway, doesn't pay to listen to Stuttering John. Then she says, why do you listen to that guy? You hate him. I said, well, I'm waiting for him to spaz out, have a stroke, have a thrombosis, have a heart attack. We all are. One of these things he's going to do on air one day. Sure.

And then everything will be perfect in the world. Anyway, that's it from San Diego Talk to you later rock and roll off the next voice. I was gonna be like well Judy left me Stop listening to set up a judge. She warned me now I can listen in any room. I Killed her she's in a basement with parts cut off for a couple of months I'm kind of thinking I haven't heard her voice on these voicemails in quite some time Please stop playing that man's voicemails. You know like Gary and San Diego I almost get into accidents because when I'm driving home, and he comes on a fucking fall asleep I think he's charismatic

Paulie a dirty Jersey call Call it, add it's time for another stuttering John song. It's falling from dirty Jersey in case you didn't know. This is to when Irish people die, they played Danny boy. Don't know why. So this is called Johnny Boy. Here we go. Oh Johnny Boy, your show, your show aren't proud of you as Coraline Shue make financial gains. Now John's career is truly in the joy Kids queer at least that's what I've heard He could have built We enjoy into a career

But he failed now he sits in a box and drinks Thank you, but you buy well I enjoyed it Polly I don't you not charismatic Tell me that Polly was gonna be at the Tampa show I'd be scared That you're one of the an autograph. I guess not. Okay. Hey, snaggle face. This is Klaus. I was listening to your Wednesday episode and got to your Harrison Young segment. Yeah. Which was fire. By the way. Yeah. But something struck me as we were listening to Harrison wax eloquent about his living room baseball.

And I realized, I know he's embarrassed about, you know, showing a film crew him playing the game. But think, think of it, think what would happen if Harrison set up like a live stream of his games, his daily games. Right. I guarantee you he would get mad money for that. Yeah. People would be watching that like crazy. They'd be like making bets on him. They'd probably be asking him to wear different jerseys for like different players. He could build a whole like Harrison Young living room baseball mythos. He's sure less. It would be sick and he would make crazy money. He could probably get enough money that he'd buy his own like baseball diamond. Like think about it or square anyway

These voicemails are long today We need to start our own inter show baseball style Harrison Young Me that's a good idea, but now if I remember correctly, I don't think it was Harrison who was embarrassed I think it was the camera crew that was embarrassed by his shirt. Correct. He was fine with it Yeah, I'm gonna be sure that man who has no shame. I can tell you. Yeah Well, he's like what's gonna happen. I'm not gonna get laid anymore Hello everyone, this is Joe from Pennsylvania As As you're listening to this, it's hours before

subreddit surfing live. Yes, it is. As most people are listening to this, it's after. So afterwards in order, I will have soul kissed in order. Cardiff, Vinny, producer Chris, Andy, Joe, and then I guess if I have any kisses left, I have one for you, Carl. In all honesty, I'm psyched for the show. I can't wait to see all of you goofballs live and in person. Don't call me back. All right, Joe in Pennsylvania.

We'll see you tonight, buddy. Fuck you. Yeah. I said yeah. He wants a kiss. Yeah. He wants a kiss. I just want to know that people want to kiss me.

We have one more voicemail and this is a celebrity. That's why I say it different at the end. It's very exciting. Obama? This is W.A.P.P. Obama. On today, your 500th episode, I'm calling to congratulate you on behalf of a thankful nation for keeping the dabble verse going and for keeping us all entertained. Today we are all bag flappers. Yes.

And kuzaroos and rubber dicks. I'm uniting. Now I got to go take a nap because Michelle wants me to Just stepped on my man to win God damn it guys could jam someday Everyone's fucking scoring on me over here. He's a Chris. You're just letting it happen. What do you want me to? All right, everybody. Thanks for hanging out. This has been a lot of fun We had the great sea moose is here in the studio with us. Who?

Some other guy is here as well. And the rest. It's been a lot of fun. And the rest. Arrrr, arrrrr, drrrr, drrrr, drrrr, drrrr, drrrr. Okay, bye. Okay, folks. Guess what?

This is the- The plane is hit right we watch a Carly I'm out of my mouth, CUT! Ah, Carl. I love you. Go fuck yourselves. Have a good week. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr