Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep506 - Conspiracy Theory Podcasts
Episode Date: April 4, 2024This week we’re competing to find the worst conspiracy theory podcasts. These types of podcasts are inherently interesting, you really have to suck at podcasting to be boring when discussing conspir...acy theories. Fortunately we were able to find a couple of shows that stink. Lucy and I start things off with the Shane Dawson Podcast. Shane is a famous YouTuber who has done everything he can to ruin his career, right down to the terrible show he’s currently doing. Andy and Chris bring in future famous mukbanger and conspiracy theorist Prettyboy Rios and his very dumb brother. Then we get into eclipse talk to find out that either Jesus is coming back or the globalists are using the eclipse to further their prison planet agenda. Yes, I wrote “globalists,” so you know Alex Jones is making an appearance today. After an update on Jerry Banfield and Baseem, we check in on Opie Radio’s YouTube page. This guy is going to go viral any day now. Finally Cardiff joins us for another round of Who Said It and Annie comes on for reviews and voicemails. Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st – June 2nd – https://www.hackamania.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@OnceOverwithCayley https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@cardiffelectric Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Yeah
It usually takes 10 minutes
Let me see real quick
It's his first day
We're live on YouTube, what does he mean it usually takes 10 minutes?
What are you talking about?
Look how Andy just gets up and strolls on
I gotta talk to Joe right now. Yeah, okay
You say so good. You know, I've been meaning to talk to you guys about your lack of professionalism around here
The professionalism there you go
He's twitching the curtain everybody
Are you ready now Alan do you want to complain about the audio more I think I had time. Are you ready now? Now I am. Do you want to complain about the audio more? I just think it's still fucked up, you better...
No, no, Andy.
You better work on it in five more minutes, buddy.
Oh, stop it, you.
All right, let's get this thing started.
We're putting the band back together.
Episode
It's funny!
506
I don't think it's funny!
Are you a boner guy?
Oh I was a boner guy
You know what I miss being a boner guy
What are you talking about?
I'm the one who should apologize
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Is it going to change your life by any stretch?
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Remember to shut the fuck up
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I've been dying to say that.
Cuz, cuz-a-roo, cuz-a-roo, slapperoonie.
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us in the comment section today, we'll be competing to find the worst podcast in the
conspiracy theories category. Of course, we're changing up teams yet again. It's Lucy and
me versus Andy and Chris. Yeah. Are you ready for this?
Let's start with the results from the last time
we had a competition.
Of course, that was the worst self-help podcast.
And Andy and I brought in Basim.
And actually we have a couple extra clips for Basim
that we didn't get to at the live show.
Nice.
That I wanna play later on. But, uh, Andy,
I am happy to say that with Besseam you and I had 57% of the votes.
That's right. So we were the big wieners, which means that, uh,
Chris and Lucy, the other two,
extra work, and I was trying to think of who else
is even around, who cares?
Have to do extra work and bring us
some additional content today.
So I know that Lucy's looking at Jerry Banfield.
Yup.
So, looking forward to getting caught up
on all things Jerry, but first things first,
let's start off with the competition.
And you know what, Lucy, I think we should go first.
All right, let's do it.
Because we brought in one of the biggest YouTubers
in history, Shane Dawson.
Ding, ding.
Thank you.
The Shane Dawson podcast hosted by Shane Dawson.
And there's a lot going on with this show.
He loves his conspiracy theories.
And let me start off, if you don't mind, Lucy.
Can I tell a little history of Shane?
Please, yes.
Before you do start off?
Yes, please do.
So he has had a huge fall from grace.
So he was one of the biggest YouTubers of all time.
Started in 2008, before there were YouTubers.
Absolutely gigantic.
So then he came on his cat and did some blackface
Oh, I have the audio of that. This is Shane. I've done that. This is Shane
This is the last time you'll see any
Listen to this this is actual audio of Shane Dawson back when he was very popular
Shane Dawson back when he was very popular. One time I laid my cat down on her back and her little chicken legs spread open or whatever.
I was like, if I just like hump, but like on her tummy, like that's not weird.
Like whatever.
And then I humped it, I humped it, I humped it, and it kept going, it kept going.
It came all over the cat.
No, you did not.
It was like my first sexual experience.
No way.
I was also like 19.
So it's like, you know.
So people don't like it when you come on cats?
They get pretty, yeah yeah turned off by that
I think he lost 600,000 subs. I thought that was a joke. I mean
He claims
On all apology, yeah
He claims that was a joke, but I don't know it sounded like he had it all figured out did it
Yeah, sure did yeah, yeah, he knew exactly how to come on that cat so he also
I mean that's the most offensive thing to me, but also a lot of blackface
Yeah, a lot of blackface, and then he made some sexually inappropriate comments about you know 12 year olds right so he's done it all
But if he's trying to get canceled he's nailing it am I in the creep off right now this guy is unbelievable
so he went from regularly
getting channel views of around 30 million per video and now he is getting
in between three and four million Wow what a loser yeah I know what it is I
got a little over two million subs too yeah it's got nothing going on it is
shocking to me that he's still popular yeah Yeah, because he's gone through multiple cancellations
Going back to when they first started up, and I think it was before YouTube whatever he was on
His entire family got fired from their jobs
Because the content that he was putting out because it was so offensive
Yep, that whatever company employed them found it was just like oh you can't work here anymore
pet store
Maybe So when he came back he was like well I'm just gonna keep
doing the conspiracy theory videos for some reason. Okay. But the way that he does conspiracy theories
is that he just creates his own which I realize that that's pretty much all conspiracy theories.
But he really is very out there and he's just creating random shit and throwing it and seeing
what sticks on the wall.
Okay, I agree with you because what I checked out
is what is known as the Shane Dawson podcast.
That was a few things that he does online.
But this is the podcast, it's a cast of characters,
his husband Rylan's on there, Sandy, Jared, Chris,
some other people.
And it starts off by teasing
what's coming up later in the show. Have ever seen love is blind? Oh, yeah, okay
You know they have gold cups in every season in every scenario whether they're at a restaurant or they're in the bubble or whatever
They all are using gold cups really weird is it because they have mics in them. Oh good guess
No, it's a very random and it's for some reason kind of creeps me out
so the reason they all have these gold cups is because
creeps me out so the reason they all have these gold cups is because
wow they're all blown away there's gold cups and love is blind wow what's gonna happen and on the graphic on the screen that you can't see if you're listening is this is coming up
conspiracy theories start at 44 and a half minutes into the show so we have to watch these jerk-offs
try to make comedy for 44 and a half minutes before
we get to the conspiracy part of the show.
And let me just show you how fun this is because they're having a slumber party.
Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is, slumber party edition!
Yes.
Okay, so this is very, very random and I know I'm too old for this.
I think we're all too old for this honestly. It's so quirky and fun right?
They're all wearing PJs we
How can we don't do that cuz it's gay
It's very gay, but you can stop napping your PJs. This is dumb people don't have fun, right?
So in the episode of the Shane Dawson podcast that I was checking out
They also had the quirky intro and no
conspiracy theories until 55 minutes in so what's the point cuz he's telling you like stick with it stick with it cuz coming
Here's another tease right after that tease if you think oh god here we go again
They're not gonna talk about conspiracies or just talking about their stupid fucking onesies
Stick around because we have a conspiracy later in the show that is so fucked up. I didn't even want to know about
it. I was like, Jared, just save it. Just save it for the podcast because it's so crazy.
So that's coming soon. But before we get to that, what are you wearing? As if we have
to watch the show, you could scrub a YouTube video. He acts like stick around guys at 44
minutes from now, it's going to get really good. So you just got to put up with all this
horse shit. I had a time and the fact that this guy's dressed up as a bear and
They're all in there like onesies and stuff it just reminds me of what Danny from Stevie tomatoes said
Stop already. It's ridiculous like what are we five? What are we five?
If you don't know Vinnie Paulino called Stevie tomatoes on Monday on the creep off asking about the graffiti incident
Stevie tomatoes gate and the manager I speak with Stevie please yes the manager daddy said there's no graffiti and stop calling
Get a life moonhead
All right, I'll hand it over to you Lucy. What did you pick up on from this show?
Well, let's check out the quirky intro from the episode that I checked out, which was
also the Shane Dawson podcast.
So that is going to be in clip one this week.
They are going to be race car drivers.
We are here in a racing gear.
Keep going, keep it going.
And we're ready to smear the competition.
I got here to my left, my big old M&M boy, Slap.
I'm thinking slap and tickle.
Oh, slap and tickle. Oh, slap and tickle.
Macaroni and cheese.
Yeah, to my right we got, I guess we got cheese.
Hey girls.
What?
I'm just saying hi.
I like to play like cool and casual and then I'm going to like burn your rubber.
Oh, I see.
He likes to hit him in the rear.
Yep.
Every single episode starts out with some sort of variant of variant. There's so much production on this show
So they don't have personalities so instead they dress up like things
Yes, and then have a ton of tight edits and just quick non sequiturs and the visuals on this are ridiculous
It's a team of people putting this together. I would imagine this reminds me of
Trisha Payne is style. Yeah, it's just like oh we got to dress up like Barbie or we gotta do like princesses because we're not talented
We're not interesting
So let's do a lot of stuff quick cuts and lots of edits and we'll wear ridiculous things and we'll have a big set
And it's gonna be great. Okay, but he's gonna love it. I
Suppose but I'm not sure so I had to wait 55 minutes to get to the conspiracy theories
But I was very excited by the time that I got to them. I was like, yes
This is gonna be great great. They're gonna be so amazing
So in clip 2 we are going to hear the first conspiracy theory that they talk about
Which is going to be about those red white and blue popsicles if you were an audio listener
All right. First we're gonna start this conspiracy corner with a Mandela effect that shook me
to my frozen core.
What?
I'm gonna show you a picture of something
and you tell me what it is.
Ooh, a rocket pop. A bomb pop.
A rocket pop. I loved those.
A rocket pop, right?
Well, what if I told you
that nowhere in the world
have those ever been called rocket pops? No
They are actually called bomb pops. No, that's a fucking lie
That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard and it's not a conspiracy theory and I waited five minutes
Who gives a shit who gives a fuck?
Another guy called it right off the bat. Exactly. Exactly. They're complete idiots on the plus side Jared spelled
They're complete idiots on the plus side Jared spelled J E R I D who is Shane's brother Yeah, he is at least the least stupid of them in my clip three
Okay, and look if you google it when you search rocket pop nothing comes up. It's all bomb pops, baby
No, that's because the local ice cream man were bootlegging them. How do they both immediately say rocket pops?
They were probably getting the fake ones called rocket pops? Yeah, duh
I'm wondering if they're gonna show us any fireworks that chase a certain
Individual chasers
All right, so before we get into the conspiracies
I have a bunch too that we're gonna get into and I could tell already that this is very titillating and
Exciting for people we're gonna learn a lot more than just that but first we gotta talk about what we're wearing
Cuz it's so fun and the guy dressed as a bear his wife or girlfriend is next to him
Sandy she's rocking a care bear sweater
Sandy, she's rocking a care bear sweater.
I feel like we're just the bear cave of the corner of the podcast.
So she's wearing guys hold on.
I'm sorry. I've already seen this, but it's still cracking me up.
It's a care bear sweater.
But is it? There's a carope on it.
Oh, that's not even what it is.
Oh, well there's also a frog on it
Wait until you hear about this and it is ironic because it has a frog on it and she says I have frog legs
Because they're so long and like and my body is so fat
He's like on a recliner he'll just like put his legs up like that. Okay, so I don't want to interrupt our fashion show.
Oh my god, we never played the fashion update song.
Fashion update!
Anyways.
Dude, if we concede right now, will you stop?
No!
Goddamnit!
You have to watch all these clips because I had to watch them!
We're going balls deep.
This is insane. All the research I did, I'm still clips because I had to watch them. We're going balls deep. This is insane.
All the research I did, I'm still sick, I'm sorry.
All the research I did on Shane,
I'm like, this guy sounds interesting.
He's in blackface, he's doing Asian accents,
he's doing all the fun stuff.
And then I'm watching the show at 2024
and he's sitting around in pajamas
and they're cutting to a photo shop of a guy
having a head on a frog.
A toad wearing a sweatshirt with a toad on it Wow really funny stuff so as I mentioned
Shane and Ryland are a married couple now Shane came out his bi in 2015 and they got engaged. I'm guessing and
Lucy you know better than I do was this like part of the way to get people off his back like well
Listen, I'm gay. You know if you were just like, you know, you're doing that asian accent blackface like yeah, but i'm lgbtq. So
Good luck makes it cute. Definitely did not hurt. Yeah. Good luck fucking fighting me, but because he does a show
with his husband
There's uh, these cute fights they get into
I mean he's just saying like maybe rylan is saying like I'm with a particular type
of person and only you could be able to be to find that, you know.
You just said literally three episodes ago.
I'm saying.
So here we go again.
Bites with Shane and Rylan.
Bites with Shane and Rylan.
Shane and Rylan.
I'm saying how we compliment each other.
Who is this for?
It's like a kids show
Right for the 12 year olds that he wants to sexually harass. Oh, okay. That makes sense
I'll pretend I'm gay and the cats that way people won't try to cancel me and I'll do a show for children and
That way they'll like me. It's tookie soup for homos at what yeah
I was thinking if you can keep something the production and shit his show might turn into this watch out
You know what this happened to you?
At one point they watch a tik-tok video and the ticket video says
Did you know that if you eat a pretzel and then a grape it tastes like fried chicken?
So they go wow that's crazy, so they pass out pretzels and grapes, and they go that doesn't work at all
It's just a conspiracy theory. Yeah, so waiting for some conspiracy stuff guys well
You'll have to wait a little longer because then they start playing cards against humanity
The show that everyone's talking about
Everyone's favorite game, it's so funny. I'm scared this could really flop oh
No, I got a good one. Oh, yeah, okay here. We go. Hey, Reddit, I'm applying topical ointment to my grandfather's infected penis.
Ask me anything.
Not bad.
You're a caring person if you're doing that, though.
That's like the nicest thing you can do.
It honestly is.
Cheap trick.
It is a cheap trick.
Oh, yeah.
Mid-terrace.
Cheap ointment to penises.
Hey, Reddit, I'm firing a rifle into the air while balls deep and a squealing hog
Wow, this game goes there
Hey reddit, I'm
I'm pro life protesters
It's not that funny it just reminded me why this game sucks
Game fucking blows everything's a cutaway every reference they make there's a song for and shit. It's a very egg the music bed
Cue you that this is fun and interesting. I think it's it's trying to
Program my brain to think that I'm being entertained by the right
It's jiggling keys over and over again to tell them just like yeah, I guess I like jiggly keys
I'm a track left track left track. Yeah, it's amazing.
All right.
Let's get back to conspiracies.
Lucy, what do you got for us?
Oh, you want to get into the big one?
I do.
Big boy.
All right.
Well, we are going to be talking about Olive Garden.
So in addition to the podcast, Shane has two YouTube channels.
So they will cut you off on the breadsticks.
I approve.
That's basically what was it really? Oh shit. So now I didn't watch your clip. They will cut you off on the breadsticks. I have proof.
That's basically what we're asking.
Oh, is it really?
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
I didn't watch your clip.
Probably should have researched this.
So he is going to introduce his theory in Olive Garden clip one that Olive Garden reuses
uneaten breadsticks.
Oh, okay.
Well, I hope they would.
Why wouldn't you?
My theory about Olive Garden.
I am convinced. You cannot convince me of anything. sticks. Oh, okay. Well, I would hope they would. Why wouldn't you?
My theory about Olive Garden. I am convinced you cannot convince me otherwise. I think Olive Garden recycles their breadsticks. I honestly cannot believe it. There's no way. They are endless. You can get as many as you want.
They're unlimited. They're continuous. They're cheap as shit to make. Who gives a fuck. Yeah, nobody gives a fill you up
Yeah, so they unless Patrick Melton showing up there. They're gonna be fine
Shane basically made this exact same argument four years ago about Chuck E cheese
He said that anybody who leaves pizza on their plate at Chuck E cheese
They take it back in the back and they Frankenstein a pizza together. So now he's doing the exact same thing
It's annoying about this. Just making shit up
Yeah, what's annoying about this is that you could just like call up a guy who works at
the Olive Garden and ask.
You know, it's not like this crazy experience.
But what if they lie to you?
There's thousands of employees.
You can ask one of them.
No, we have to prove and test the theory.
So how are we going to test the theory in clip two?
I'm so glad you asked.
No.
You won.
You're wild. I have. you asked. No. You won.
You're wild. I have.
Oh no.
Okay, here's my plan.
Now this is why
I needed people for this.
So I'm going to go in, right?
I'm going to order a nice meal. Then I'm going to get my
basket of bread, take a bite.
But then for all the other pieces of bread
I'm going to mark them all with this brown sharpie
I think it's less obvious because it'll look like a little bird mark
Seasoning exactly fucking asshole Susie had the sharpie. I'm like no I get the plan dummy. You don't do explain it to me
Well, he does because I'm gonna mark up the stall door
Yeah, right, I'm gonna put a fast J and my ass is gonna be this weird shape
So not only that but if they think that this is true
They're just drawing on other people's foods like what is gonna guarantee so they're all gonna go into the restaurant
They're gonna order food
But like what guarantees that those breadsticks covered in fucking sharpie is gonna go to their people and not some random
Yeah, but sharpie ink is the best thing you could eat it all
But they do also lick the breadsticks at one point so you know I mean
What do they then do though go around every person in the restaurant and start throwing their birth for three weeks?
There's a lot of talk
So so let us find out exactly what they do basically they are all gonna go in
They're gonna mark up the breadsticks, and then they're gonna go in again
So they have a huge group of people all outside completely inconspicuous. Okay, and in clip three
We are gonna find out that Shane's husband Ryland is taking the investigation super seriously
But they also it was hard for me because the bartender was facing me and the host was facing me
Did you film yourself marking them? I hope so
It was crazy in there for me. We're just looking up haircuts. Oh yeah, hair inspiration.
This is what I'm going for.
That's what I was doing in Olive Garden.
Not everything you do is fun or funny.
No. Almost nothing.
Looking up haircuts definitely has nothing to do with anything.
Can you believe this gay guy is looking at haircuts?
Yeah. It's out there gay.
I kinda knew.
So they all go in and not a single person got one of these to stay with is pretty chacriss. I'm afraid we're out of time
I'm sorry. You couldn't bring any conspiracy theories
Keep with us. Oh, okay, so we got this we're bringing it home
They didn't get a single marked up breadstick in any of their ordering got so they need a backup plan
Okay in clip for we should order to go order. I was looking online you can order breadsticks to go. I think we should order like 60 breadsticks
Yeah, and then because then they don't then it's like all at once. They just get out fuck you have to get a foot down
I'm pretty sure they do that. Should I do an order? Yeah, we're marking them. We got to deplete their bread their bread supply
So maybe just like a hundred real quick
So, yeah, they're just depleting the bread supply so that they
can eventually get the marked up sure breadsticks genius right sure but in
clip 5 we're gonna find out the conclusion Okay They are they weren't warmed up
There's no that we need to take these back. There's no garlic. Oh my god. What?
Interesting turn interesting turn these are wrong
We have to go be Karen's and complain. Yeah, okay. There's an option for unbaked on the website. Wait a second
And that was the end of the conspiracy theory
It's not true
They spent an hour and eight minutes on it and they're fucking idiots wasting time on bullshit and don't know how to order breadsticks
Never go full retard
I mean, that's just a rule right there. Okay
Let's get into the conspiracy theories that I was checking out and I thought there'd be that one big one about love is blind
Gold cops, but no
Jampacked with conspiracy theories. They start off with you know, what a Stanley Cup is
All the way. Oh, ladies. Very excited about these.
Apparently they're bulletproof.
So I didn't I didn't realize that.
That was the first thing.
Then they talk about the movie Dune, the the one that's just
coming out.
They have a special popcorn bucket.
You might know about this.
Who doesn't know about the popcorn bucket?
Okay.
Well, they have a theory about that.
Speaking of companies doing crazy things for marketing and virality Spencer was telling me about the popcorn bucket from Dune
Yeah, have you guys seen the dune popcorn buckets? You'd have to start by telling me what Dune is
No the desert the horrible desert looking movie somebody
Somebody did an edit where it's Wendy Williams like as the characters and it's called How You Do.
That's amazing. It's so good. Now I have to. That's funny because she's ugly.
I'm sure it's beautiful I just want to say I'm not trying to jig it. I just watching that trailer makes me hate it.
I thought you were talking about the bucket. like yeah, it looks like a flesh light
That much like a flesh light I mean
It's the perfect size to put your dick in and there's little silicone string ease that if you lube them up it'll be like
If I had one I'd fuck it
like if I had one I fuck it it's not a cat yeah who's gonna say the shades can you probably shouldn't talk about things that you would fuck on your show shade
just pointing that out get one on Etsy for $120 in what why did they I think we
should just eat popcorn out of flashlights is what this is telling me I
know it's brutal it is everything they say they think is hilarious and none of it is
It's exhausting not even any of it. It is exhausting now. Please test this bulletproof Stanley cup theory on each other
I
Assume that that's like a thing from dune. That's why it's you it's like that. Yeah
That's why it's shaped like that. I would imagine. He did everything about that. Okay. All right. Well, how about Bluey?
There's a conspiracy going out with the show Bluey. Yeah. Okay this next theory
I'm very excited about because we are entering our daddy era
We're already in it, but every daddy right now and mommy on Instagram is talking about Bluey. Have you heard about Bluey?
No. What do you heard about Bluey? No. Bluey.
You didn't know about Dune.
Hahaha.
Bluey is a cartoon that every parent now is watching with their kids and then the kids go to sleep and the parents like keep watching it.
It's like a meme right now. It's like my kid goes to sleep and I'm still watching Bluey.
So the animators of Bluey supposedly, this might be fake, but supposedly got fired because they planted some-
This might be fake everyone. Alright. They're all fake. Just want to throw that out there. This one might be fake but supposedly got fired because they planted this might be fake everyone alright
They're all just left out there this one might be fake something specifically for us in the show
I guess if you watch bluey in the parents bedroom their dogs in their bedroom. There is a cock chair
And everybody online is talking about how bluey is trying to talk about cuckery on their show. Wow. I mean, it does look like a cock chair.
It's not necessary either. It actually doesn't make, enhance the room, you know.
It also is blocking a door, so that's kind of confusing. So why is it there?
You guys think that's a cock chair? Nope. But I also don't care.
What she said.
All right, so you guys are buying that. What about the Chicago Bulls?
The Chicago Bulls logo?
Check this out guys.
So this is the Chicago Bulls logo.
Do me a favor.
Flip it upside down.
Okay.
What do you see?
It looks like a robot butt fucking a crab.
Like exactly.
Or it looks like the DJ marshmallow
But fucking the crap from underneath right like I don't know
He's getting the crabs getting fucked by a robot guys
The laughter is ridiculous it's so over the top I actually thought that was a little funny
No I know and that that's the one thing that I'm like, okay, it's kind of interesting
But they all lose their minds over it for so long. You're just like, okay, can we move on?
No, they can't believe they found something actually funny. They actually did find something that's mildly amusing. Yeah, so good for them on that
What's what's next the five million?
318 and eight you turn that upside down and it
says something cute whoa what are we five what are we doing over here to get
us struck actually actually Andy we're gonna talk about aliens we're gonna find
out cats are aliens what if aliens have become so advanced that they're able to
shape-shift and all this stuff and they look like dogs and they look like cats and they're able to gather information in that sense
You know what I mean? So just because we haven't seen what we got the fucking dogs and cats started going crazy
See you just be you oh my god you but so yeah
I mean, maybe it isn't as crazy as I put out fucking aliens
That's what some people believe some people believe that cats are from another cats and octopuses are always theorized to be from like other
Planets are aliens infiltrating us we've talked about this before I think but yes
But cats are the only pet that are self-aware what?
Your cat's freaking out for a different reason
Your cat's freaking out for a different reason. Yeah
Shit he goes cancer shame
Based on what did you ask him right? What do you mean cancer and self-aware? Yeah, how can you possibly prove that? Yeah, right? That's the whole point so stupid to say that and I like that the guy goes
You know octopuses and cats are the two things people think are aliens no octopuses for sure because there's nothing else like them
On the earth, but cancer is like tons of species of cats different sizes and shapes and it's
ridiculous how stupid these people are guys at the end of the show there's a
recap Ryland likes to give us a quick recap on everything that they covered
during the show because it wasn't mind-numbing enough let's get to a recap. Life camera action, violence recap is about to happen.
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, I may have gone too far and got my husband
very upset with me. So they were all lip syncing during the song, which is extremely embarrassing.
I don't know how we found all these people to be on the show and embarrassed themselves. Yeah, I know
Why does it money this many people like they're all playing TV show together? I want to come over play TV show
Yeah, what play TV show? What do you do? I just laugh a lot
Wow, this is crazy and rocky. Can you wear something gay? Yeah. All right courage. You're in all right one more clip
I have on here, guys,
because I tease at the beginning of my segment here.
The gold cups on Love is Blind.
I'm so excited. I know.
When do we get to the gold cup?
Right. Like, what's the conspiracy around this?
It blew this guy away.
He had a show at the beginning of the show.
It was the big teaser.
So let's find out what that's all about.
Finally.
Have you ever seen Love is Blind?
Oh, yeah. OK, you know how they have gold that's all about, finally. Have you ever seen Love is Blind?
Oh yeah.
Okay, you know how they have gold cups?
In every season, in every scenario, whether they're at a restaurant or-
I love how the one guy's like, oh, I didn't get there yet.
Just the color of the cups.
They're in the bubble or whatever, they all are using gold cups.
It's really weird.
Honestly drives me crazy, because even in the apartments they put them in, these motherfuckers
are drinking out of these gold cups.
Is it because they have mics in them?
Ooh, good guess.
No, it's very, it's very random
and it's for some reason it kind of creeps me out.
So the reason they all have these gold cups
is because you can't see through them
so that it doesn't mess up continuity.
So if you're like having a conversation with your,
you know, future spouse or whatever,
and you're drinking wine and stuff,
they want to be able to cut the conversation
however they want.
Make the storyline whatever they want,
and you'll never know because the cups.
It's almost like it's not a conspiracy,
it just kinda makes sense.
Yeah.
And they act like after this they're like,
oh my gosh, a reality show's not even real?
Correct.
Yeah.
They're edited to make you think a certain thing happened.
Just like your shows are.
Yeah, just like your show.
Just like your shows are. Yeah, just like your show.
So that was the big thing. They did an entire hour plus episode
Teasing this gold cups on love is blind it turns out just so it doesn't look like hey he drank some and he didn't and then
He drank a little bit more and then there was more back in it again
Okay, yeah, it kind of falls flat when you put it that way. Yeah, it's not that
Impressive at all. Is there anything Lucy that you picked up on that we missed
I just also still don't understand why they have to be gold why couldn't they be silver cups or they don't explain that part
They don't give a fuck about the color another episode garbage
No, I think that I am so blown away by those gold cups that I don't even have anything to top it
All right, well then we play one more clip because it turns out
I hope my brothers watching this turns out that Mountain Dew is very gay.
Because Baja Blast is the best drink ever made.
Taco Bell really said, you know what, things we did that.
And I was like, damn, Taco Bell, I thought you were mid.
And then you came around and you were like, duh, duh, duh.
Is that how the kids do it?
I don't know.
Okay, so here's what we're going to do today.
This is the best idea I've ever had,
and I've had none of them.
This is...
By the way, hi Chris.
Hello.
How are you?
Look, I even dressed him in Baja Blast.
I love this shirt.
You're like my little Ken-don.
I got you a present.
You got me a present?
I did.
So I know it's not Pride Month anymore,
but for you it always is.
So it's so crazy.
He comes to my house on a float.
So I'm kidding, I'm kidding comes to my house on a float. So
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was only one time. So here's your little present
It's just a little stick or something for you to put on the back of your car. He says bah, bless my ass
I think gay people would find this offensive
It's quite over the top, right?
Gay people everywhere going straight. Yeah, right gay guys like I will suck on pussy to stop this
protest of this ridiculousness and then we show a pussy like
We all would Andy we all
All right. So I think we presented we presented our conspiracy podcast pretty well just now.
Shane Dawson podcast is the worst conspiracy podcast on the internet today.
Andy and Chris, what do you got?
All I can say is, phew, I feel a lot better.
Thank God that's over.
We're going to take it in the complete opposite direction of a show that is trying way too
hard and delivering zero conspiracy theories.
We're going to bring a show on now that is maybe the lowest production show I've ever
seen with hundreds of conspiracies, theories that don't make any sense and are poorly researched.
And this is a show called pretty boy rios
Podcast I'm just gonna say it's a podcast cuz people
get bandied about these days
Right this call. Yeah
Video element of the show all right, so
Mainly these guys it's one guy doing a lifestyle show that includes a lot of
mukbang with his girlfriend and his brother and his family and in this
episode he and his brother are going to get... Let's just get into it. Yeah, yeah
they're gonna have a snack and talk about every conspiracy theory under the Sun play my
number one please so what you're telling me is this is not a conspiracy podcast
so you'll find out it's a conspiracy okay we have a theory episode just an My younger brother. And then there's another mukbang. Thumbnail.
Thumbnail time.
Yo, tell them what you got.
Tell them who's getting started.
Don't worry about it.
I'm hungry.
I ain't gonna have an eight.
I wanted to touch on that after, but.
Yo, guys.
Can we talk in the middle of it?
Can you see yourself?
Can you take this out?
Oh, I didn't realize.
Come on, guys, we're back. We're back. We can take it out. Oh, I even realize Guys we back
Anyways time what you got tell them how much we pay bro. Yo dirty for tour D
30 beans I was I feel like yeah, we enjoy it just chill but now brother you got a clock in
I'm taxing you right now. You got a clock in make a video
I'm taxing you right now. You got a clock and you can make a video now.
30 Beans for this is crazy, bro.
But we started our healthy journey.
We're starting to go to the gym now so we can't be eating junk food.
The first option was Chipotle, but I regret not getting Chipotle now because they're
the same price.
So yeah, these are going to start out long, they're going to get shorter as we get into
more and more conspiracy theories
Not Marx says this already looks gayer than the shade Bob. Oh
Good yeah, so that's a playboy Tony who I think is on the right by the way who I can't is his biological brother
That's pretty boy Rios on the left. Sure. Let's keep things moving as they shoehorn in some eclipse talk in my number two
Guys, welcome back to another video
Right now you're gonna watch us eat
Should we answer questions or should we just like, just yeah
You talk about conspiracy theory? Yeah, something like. I'm gonna tell them about life
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Something that gets viewed.
I'm not really tapped in, but have you heard about what happened to P. Diddy?
I'll talk about that.
No, okay, first let's talk about the solar eclipse. about that isn't that the first thing you don't see it we wanted that I think more shape
So if anyone doesn't know mukbang is a style of video that I have no idea why it's popular
Trisha Paytas became popular doing this where you just eat food in front of the camera
Yes, yeah, and for those of you just listening these guys are sitting in a car in a parking garage
Yeah, yeah, well people walk by and say oh, and they have nothing to say yeah
They don't know anything and they're fine eating a secret pudding with that. It's not a secret
Somebody might have taken my
that somebody might have taken my method. I think so too.
All right.
I feel ripped off.
The clips get shorter and shorter.
So this one I just wrote, is this nonsense?
Tell me what this is about, my number three.
Bro, when I saw it in the noodle, my mom was like,
yo, my mom's watching this?
Oh, that's scary.
I had a theory.
I told my girl this.
Ready?
They're making it seem like it's a disease.
But in reality, they're trying to mind trick us.
They're trying to make it seem like, let's say right now we look outside,
and we see it.
In reality, we don't have a disease.
Or we just happen.
Like it's like, it's an actual like, demon.
Like an illusion?
Like these guys can be mind tricked pretty easily yeah, they don't seem high, but this is stoner talk
These are the dumbest people ever see on the internet
Impressive what guy actually looked yeah, right?
And I know that Yeah, right. He's like, yeah. What if there was someone out there? There is? That's what I love about that. Fucking idiots.
And I know that Andy clipped the second half of this almost in its entirety, so my number four is
Playboy Tony finally tries to make a point and fails miserably. Deja vu.
Deja vu? Like about something like...
Something in their mind basically had to like put the idea in their head like oh
I'm like I can't explain it but like I feel like I look you believe that like we already
lived that's why that's why when we see stuff or like we think about stuff that oh like
we already relived this because we did I feel this because we did like cuz we did like
but people just be reincarnate as new people
things are very familiar it's like some Jerry Banfield level yeah it's gonna be
an easy transition oh boy the next segment after this so I'm gonna turn it
over to Andy who I know got very thorough with this.
Yeah, and Tony needs everybody to know
why they're making this show
because he's gonna get real about why,
he thinks that just because they're doing a show,
they're gonna end up rich and famous.
Of course, that's what happens, yeah.
All I care about being rich
Like the fame is like only steps to where I want to be like yeah
I'll get famous to get to the money
Like if I'm being realistic like come on like I won't be famous like I know I love to do this
Like I like it, but it's like it's for the money like we don't come from money, so
I understand like I don't know you're complaining about $50 fucking
Like I don't understand how people like most of the people are like they're really the famous people were really rich
Why would you want to be richer?
You just want to be known like why like rich?
Why would you want to be richer get more stuff famous people are are is he talking about like Jeff Bezos somebody?
That's famous for being rich who knows and this is I do love though the fact that he's not bashful
But I was just like you know I'm eating my dinner in front of a camera. I want to be rich and famous
Yeah, well, that's gonna do it, but okay. It's the opposite of John to right would rather be rich or famous
I'd rather be famous John wanted to squander it all okay but pretty pretty boy Rios is
going to explain that if you just because you become rich and famous that
that's not what it's all about it You're not gonna be satisfied. Oh, okay. I don't wanna get too deep.
They might come for me.
Oh!
You just said I wanna get too deep?
Yes, I don't think that's a problem.
No.
Sorry.
Hey, who's they on come for, bro?
Not for like, oh, there's so many, there's so many.
I can't even like name them.
Bro, like, nah, hell nah.
I told my brother this too.
Brother's like, I'm gonna try to do it.
I'm like, ah, he's doing too much.
Because like, let's say you sacrifice somebody,
like your significant other, or like your brother,
your siblings, or anybody, or your mom.
It's like, you can have all that money, fame,
and everything, once you get on the top,
you go feel like something's missing.
Like, that's not the whole point of life.
I feel like your whole family has to like,
I wanna live the whole moment with my family.
So if someone's missing, it's like, damn.
What?
Yeah, damn.
What the fuck just happened?
Well, you don't have to worry about being rich or famous
and your mom thinks that you're a couple of losers
failing to do a Sonic commercial on your car. and yes so you had nothing to worry about but let's get into more
conspiracy theories this is a show about conspiracy is it it's not a show where
they just say that they have conspiracy theories and then they don't get clicks
like Shane Dawson's show where there's no there's no conspiracy theories there it
was a great design element by love is blind it made Dawson's show No, there's no conspiracy theories there
Design element by love is blind and made perfect sense and made a lot of sense It wasn't a conspiracy theory enough now. They're gonna talk about a bridge that collapsed
Most of how that bridge collapsed.
That's what I'm saying.
I feel like it was all planned.
I'll say that.
We might get cancelled.
Why?
Oh.
I thought we'd get cancelled, but like, it's a crazy thing about all these things happening
at once.
But how do you catch a recording?
Like, all of a sudden somebody just recording
Or you didn't have a camera there
Everybody's got a fucking camera
Give me studio your pocket you're recording yourself having a fucking snack you think somebody's not gonna record a bridge collapsing
There's a bolt that had to go two miles to hit the bridge so it's gonna turn on a camera at some point
To watch what happens on that also they didn't say Fauci took the bridge down your five you can say that yeah
Yeah, they had plenty of time to record this you're not gonna get canceled
You're recording this
Leasing it I think the video I watched one of the videos there was two likes on it. Yeah, yeah
12 viewers okay, but they're gonna bring up Ryan Garcia,
who is a boxer that I'd never heard of,
but apparently he predicted this happening.
Oh.
Damn.
But it's crazy, because even Ryan Garcia predicted it.
He said, he's saying King Ryan Garcia.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
King.
No, I think that was edited.
Oh. The viewer says edited, but he said it was a king. No, I think that was edited. Oh.
If you ever see his edited, he said it was a draft that he did it.
Segun, Segun.
I don't know.
Because they said he said it, I didn't see it.
Also the Ryan Garcia thing, bro.
Like, you know how he's like, they painted him like, as like a...
They make him look crazy.
Crazy, but I feel like he's really telling the truth.
I don't know.
I feel like he is, but they're making him portray him as crazy, so it's like, yo, I
will listen to him.
He's crazy.
I feel like Ray DeVito could give these guys notes on how to do a podcast.
How bad this is.
I'm starting to miss Burt Kreischer and peanut butter.
Right, yes.
It's something interesting.
You mean the mainstream media didn't believe a guy that probably has CTE that is just throwing out
in the inquirer level conspiracy theories? I think bad boy took the bridge down personally.
I think Ryan Garcia is being gaslit by the deep state. Okay. Why? Who gives a shit, but so you're saying the rationale isn't really as sound as it could be I agree
Yeah, but no, I mean Ryan Garcia got MK ultra by the deep state and clip five
Why would you like bring that shit like stuff up like that?
Like all kids being raped or about the what was that thing the hidden tunnel thing the hidden wood thing was it? Oh
The ritual thing?
I don't know, but why would you like...
Bring up or like make fun of...
Not make fun of, but like bring up and talk about kids being raped.
Like that's not stuff you talk about.
So I feel like he's dead ass.
Like they caught him.
So like, you know how they say like, they're gonna kill him or kill his family.
I feel like that's why he's not really saying too much.
I want to release evidence because he knows what it comes with and also like remember he was on the camera
He was never looking at the camera. He's like this
You're gonna script that for that watch the hundred games and Pete Peter. What is he? Yeah, he was they had in the same
The same like spa he was looking like that. He was going sec or two. He's reading a script
I wish they were eating more and talking
I hate mark back and I'm just like let's just enjoy your food. It's fine. What do you mean?
Nothing's ever made more sense that I got that this is exactly like the hundred hugger gate
It's my favorite trope of conspiracy theories
Yeah, all these morons that believe that something that they watched in a movie once. Yeah, it's actually real
The fucking matrix is real
Because I saw I saw three movies about it. So I mean real because they think it's cool and they want to be real
yeah, and
they go on to assert that more movies are real and
Food is fake. Okay, eclipse six. Mm-hmm. I'm saying
is fake. Okay. Eclipse 6. Mmhmm. Like I'm saying, I feel like everything, bro, in movies, I feel like they're trying
to tell us what's really going on. They're mocking us. They're laughing at our face,
at your shit. Like the King Kong one. You know how he launched the, uh, an arrow at
the sky? And it's like a layer? I feel it right now. Think about it. Low key, the Earth
is a layer. It's fake, like we live in the nation. They control the weather these way
Never feel like
Our somewhat believe it and also be getting fed fake food
Everything you eat is fake. They're trying to you saw other chick-fil-a too. You saw the chick-fil-a. Oh
Let's say and I think I thought wasn't they
They're gonna make um the I forgot what's the date.
They're gonna make the chicken not real no more.
What?
It's gonna be like, basically fake chicken.
Then what's Pamela Anderson so upset about that?
But didn't all your cousins that live in the same house
with you just come from picking it?
Yeah, right.
That's the least plausible thing you've said all day.
These guys like watch Sam Tripoli or something
and don't really understand the context or what everyone's saying, but they pick up on just yeah
You know that this is all like an illusion. Yeah, I'm trying
Yeah, okay. They're terrible also. I think that saying food is fake during a mukbang is perhaps a little bit over their head
Yeah, ironic that is yeah, it's pretty stupid
All right clip seven this is maybe the worst of the conspiracy theories that the world is coming to an end because
Time is passing us by okay, because they're running out of chicken
I'm still bussing down
But think about it, I'm trying to get too deep deep, like we all gonna die eventually. You might as well pick your...
Like, what are you going?
No, I feel like the world's coming to an end, I'm not lying.
Yeah, that's what I'm telling my brother this too, I feel like I feel it in my chest.
Well, days are just flying by, flying by, flying by, flying by.
I thought it was just me because I'm older, but my brother feels that same way.
I thought as you get older, like you know, time just flies by quick.
Like, they were not lying.
But I'm feeling like that even now like
What does that mean that's right Gramps no this means anything times flat circle Frazier's back at TV
That doesn't make any fucking sense all right
I only got three more okay, and of course we have to talk about Dan Schneider
It's all I ever talk about now clip 8 everyone we need you know
They're gonna talk about the Nickelodeon scandal because if you're talking about conspiracy theories you have to talk about that
You just don't want to say I
Don't say either fuck me either cuz like my life is in danger
That's crazy though like all these things are happening at once Nick I was links I made a trend distract us from like what's going on in reality because everything's coming up
Even the Disney the Disney thing then it's the Nickelodeon
Shiner yeah, but we
Know his name is Dan, but the other thing like that's crazy. We used to watch that shit when we were growing up
They're getting abused in the show.
That's what I'm saying.
I feel like nobody would have ever thought about it.
I wouldn't have thought about it.
Like back then, not that I see the Cliffs, it's like, yo, that's crazy, bro.
Like, sucking their toes, and then they're running upside down, drinking water.
That's like, whoa.
Drinking water was like, whoa, Carl.
Yeah, wow.
And that guy whose name I can't pronounce was filling up ariana grande backstage
Good analysis of the whole thing right there
Just an aside if those two fruit salads cost them 30 bucks. They had it delivered to their car right yeah, I was
40 bucks in delivery fees however that works out to interrupt you yeah, yeah
Can you believe that this show based on tweens was run by creepy adults? Yeah, I assume by design
Yeah, right. I certainly assumed so things ever made more sense, right and
It's
Everything is happening all at one more than one thing happened today. Did you catch that possible a lot of things are happening?
You can't believe it. And all these things are happening at once because of demons.
But I feel like everything they're doing right now, they're trying to distract us in the real world.
I feel like it's crazy. How could like
everything's planned. Everything's planned. Bro, there's so many things going on
in the world that they're trying to distract us.
Like everything's planned, but this show.
Yeah.
I'm scared, bro.
Like it's crazy.
Even I'm scared.
No, I'm scared, bro.
Not for real, bro.
When I seen that, the new disease, the phase shift,
bro, I was scared, bro.
I was like imagine me walking around the,
imagine me walking, the... Imagine me walking
Minding my business and I see I've hit someone's face you shift like that
Oh hell no
But think about it think about it
What a fucking idiot
They're lying to you they're making me you seem like you're crazy but in reality
That's a demon the demons are in the earth with us right now
He just said imagine me walking and seeing a guy whose face shifts
Could you dumb it down a shade? Can I just imagine me walking and see a guy who's face shit
Shake I just imagine me see yeah, I do imagine you walking and seeing that you know I never thought about it that way think about it. These are the hottest of hot takes even real. She's scared
Fuck it. Think about it. It's demons these two are idiots
All right play us out in last clip. This is just the dumbest shit outro that of a dumb show
Anyways, hope you do the video like come and subscribe and let us know
If we should do more mukbangs to talk about like conspiracy theory Carl and we don't switch it up. You know saying
Shit, you know saying shout to my brother being the video
Let us know you want more conspiracy theories down in the comments. We will talk about it
Hey guys
See you in the next video. Love ya. Yeah
What are they doing? They're just freezing?
Hey squad, can I make an official statement on that?
Shut the fuck up ass wipe and suck my cock
Yeah, keep up the terrible work guys. That's pretty boy rios everybody pretty fucking terrible guys
I don't know how you found that but congratulations. Well. We told you found it. They copied my method
I don't pay attention to what you say either. Yeah, I know I like that. She goes everyone understands my method. I honestly don't it's great
But I'm sure it's fantastic all right, but you found a show that's popular for us today Lucy
I went in the opposite direction. I like that method. I like whatever method you employ today
Alright that brings us to our
week great
And our cringe of the week. Cringe of the week.
And our cringe of the week is a show called Pissed and Pickled Podcast. And Ed and Thoreau wanted to play for us part of
the theme song for this because he says their shoehorning
lyrics is reminiscent of best modeling tips.
of best modeling tips. Pissin' Pickle Podcast
Little bit about pickleballin'
About what pisses us off
There's a lot of P's right there.
Coming in hot.
Alright, so
guys, we're talking about conspiracies.
We're doing a conspiracy show.
And you guys brought it up
with your show, The Eclipse is coming up.
Everyone's talking about- March 8th.
Everyone's talking about March 8th. Everyone's
talking about the eclipse that's coming up. And so I want to know what about all those religious shows out there? They're not going to take advantage of this, right? No. And try to
fool their followers with this, are they? There's been a lot of talk about the upcoming eclipses
going on in America. We've seen the connection the upcoming eclipses going on in america
We've seen the connection to the eclipses forming the jewish letter the aleph as well as the seven years between the two
Eclipses and some you know about this lucy
That's the dumbest thing i've ever heard you're in on it. Oh, she's in on it. All right
But the towns that they cross but there's a lot of new information that's come out that we'll look at in this video that seems, at least in my estimation, that this is a prophetic warning
to America. Then God said, let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day
from the night, and let them be for signs and seasons and for days and years. And don't want
there ever be an eclipse! God tells us that
signs that take place within the heavens are something that we should pay
attention to. Jewish tradition believes the same thing. They teach that lunar
eclipses are a sign for the Jews because Israel is such a small nation and solar
eclipses are signs for the other nations because they are so much larger than Israel. What?
Wasn't even a nation back then!
What are they talking about?
Wasn't even a nation?
I'm learning so much.
Hahaha!
We've seen the Hebrew letter that Alan-
Also, is that his hair?
I- I don't know.
Is it-
I have a conspiracy about that.
A hat or a-
Is it a sharpie?
He's wearing a- he's wearing a doily on his head.
Count Jucula.
Okay, alright.
F is being formed over America with these eclipses,
but there's another Hebrew letter
that's being formed through the X, and that's the Tav.
The Hebrew letter Tav's numerical value is 400.
Right.
The sun is claimed to be 400 times larger than the moon.
And claimed to be.
By scientists.
Ain't no fact checkin'.
Claimin' a bunch of shit. Perin perpendicular lines never happened on accident
400 times farther away from the earth than the moon
the number 400 does hold biblical significance
god gave abraham a warning
yeah it was like 400 days and nights right?
using the number 400
you shall surely know that your seed will be strangers in the land that is not theirs
And they will enslave them and oppress them for 400 years
This Hebrew letter Tav is an X and it's just like the X that's being formed by these solar eclipses over America
Didn't look more like a T. I don't want to
Get to nitpick
Fair enough fair enough. All right, let's find out what I want to get too nitpicky. I was going to say, quit nitpicking. All right, fair enough, fair enough.
All right, let's find out.
What I want to know, though, is Jesus coming back or not?
Because that's really the main thing here with this or because we can all agree.
What's amazing about these two Hebrew letters that are being formed over the United States
through these eclipses is that the Aleph and the Tav are the first and last Hebrew
letters with numerical value. Could this be a foreshadowing that Jesus Christ, the first and the Tav are the first and last Hebrew letters with numerical value
Could this be a foreshadowing that Jesus Christ the first and the last is coming back very soon
Makes perfect sense only this guy could fuck it. I don't know how we got there. That's impressive right there
He's like so there's a solar eclipse gonna mark April if you got me
April 8th, which means Jesus is returning okay
Look I am coming soon my reward is looking me and I will give to each person according to what they have done
I am the alpha and the Omega the first and the last the beginning and the end all right
So give this guy money or something. I'm not sure what his point
but apparently the solar eclipse means that
Jesus is coming back.
That's good to know.
I want to know what Alex Jones take is on it because we're talking to our conspiracy
theorist today.
I thought, let's check in with Alex.
We got this eclipse coming up.
What does he think about it?
And so the globalists believe in this, but they're also going to use it as a way to put
their propaganda out during news coverage.
You have it as another way to try to unify people,
knowing it's gonna be much bigger than the Super Bowl
because of the hype when everybody tunes into this.
But also, even energetically, astrophysics,
I'm not an expert on it, but I've read the articles
and seen the reports, when planets align
and when the moon goes in front of the sun,
it does do a lot of electromagnetic things.
We have a circadian rhythm of when the sun goes down,
you get sleepy when it comes up, you wake up.
It does do a weird thing in the mind of people.
So if we're all focused on an event,
they can program us there,
but also at esoteric level program people.
And so I think that's why there's such an obsession with it
is because we deep down at a biological level, uh, find this very interesting. I mean, there was just
a club, someone last year and the birds started going to sleep and you know, singing before
they went to sleep and it was only like 40 minutes long and then you got lied again and
they woke back up again and it was very magic. And so I think that this is just, there's
an interest in this and that's why why governments hijacking. Wow. How
could you notice something like that? That's fucked up. He just
said nothing. And I give Alex Jones credit. He's pretty
learning. He could usually put together a couple sentences.
You understand what he's talking about. He started with globalists
and magic magic birds. Like that's why governments are
taking advantage. Like what the fuck did he just say?
He should be sitting in the car with our guys there
He's making as much sense as your guys some of those strawberries
Yeah, so then he has a guest on and Alex is trying to compliment his guests for being so smart about what's going on in
Russia and Ukraine and he can't compliment his guest
without complimenting himself and stat.
Folks, I don't just tell every guest they do this. We have guests back to do nail it,
but he nailed it, nailed it, nailed it like Robin Hood splitting the arrow. It's one thing
at a hundred yards because I can do this. I used to be a good archer, still decent,
but I was, but I did a lot. I could hit bullseye at a hundred yards Two or three times if I really relaxed and did it and occasionally at 50
I would actually split the arrow like Robin Hood, but they're composite now, so we just kind of break it
impressive
So the guy gets some good points on your show is that right mom mom watch
Watch this that was a stuttering John tangent right there. That was crazy. Wasn't it? He couldn't help himself
Alright, so now we're this is a spoiler for anyone watching Dune 2
All right, we're gonna find out something about that
Frank Herbert was a great writer his first books incredible the others are okay
But I don't know if you saw the new dude much better than the last one
I mean, that's what it's all about. but then at the end it turns out it's actually real
it's not just turns out to be real yeah yeah exactly so uh also uh the plan of the apes was
actually earth yeah I know it's fucking nuts quite quite a twist so sorry about that guys but
dune is real and I guess dune is turns out to be real the hunger games the matrix tell real it's all real all of this is really
happening shortcut to thinking all right so why do the globalists and these
world governments care about the eclipse that's coming up well there's one major
reason because they want to cancel the election between Biden and Trump oh good
obviously again and if anything does happen in relationship to this date or because they want to cancel the election between Biden and Trump. Oh good.
Obviously.
Again, and if anything does happen in relationship to this date or this event, it won't be because
of the eclipse in my view, in my opinion.
It would be because they want to tie it into something related to their strategies to preempt
the election.
I totally agree.
So something big may happen then or crazies may seize on it too.
What they're going to do is they're going to use that watch.
This is happening in a week.
They're going to use the eclipse to make it so there is no election
promise.
24.
You wish.
Yep.
You know, like just because there's a new story doesn't mean you have to
talk about it.
You know, I'd be great if Alex Jones came on just goes, yeah, no, this
happens.
It's a cycle.
It's obviously the earth and the moon and
the sun are going to get aligned every now and again. And it just happens. Whatever.
It says nothing to do with anything, but no, he has to go out here and talk about all this
crazy shit. And what I love about Alex Jones, I need to start using this phrase way more
often when I talk to my guests.
There's no doubt the globalist and I'm correct me if I'm wrong, but I know you're going to
agree because it's the truth, but you're an expert on it. The globalists are obsessed with world war three, bringing in their final system. I love that and I'm correct me if I'm wrong but I know you're going to agree this is the truth but I think you're an expert on it. The globalist
are obsessed with World War
three bringing in their final
system. I love that. So Andy
correct me if I'm wrong but you
won't because I'm right. It's
adult. Yeah. It's ****
hilarious. Oh yeah. The final
system. Yeah, of course. Now,
what I love about Alex Jones is
when him and his guests start
making jokes and having some
fun. Doesn't happen very often.
It's a very serious show.
It's a lot of globalists out there trying to do a lot of shenanigans.
They got to watch them.
So they got to be on top of it.
But every now and again, they have some funny jokes.
What do you make of the red heifer?
Because I'm also getting that.
I mean, I'm literally besieged with it on the street everywhere.
Red ever read ever read ever.
What do you think about that?
Is this a woman?
I believe the joke is you brought her you have her
Believe I could be wrong about that. They had so's wrong with that. Is that a woman?
Wasn't expecting that. Yeah, no, that was a joke. You see pretty good stuff guys. I
Love it. I'm excited to say Tony Musgraff
Who recently had a very good showing on our game show that we did the the trivia show?
He sent in a brand new
parody song and this is called Stut Yo Son, coming in from Tony Musgrats.
Stut Yo, can I come over when you're done school?
Drunk substitute.
We can hop the fence and shit in Carl's Poo-Poo
Freshwater canal
Any updates on your visitation rights?
Deadbeat Dad
Cause when you pass out drunk I'm trying to holler at night
Third input
And I know that this might sound a little crass
But that homecoming queen picture makes me waste my batch
Stucho's son has got it going on
She's got a cock but it's only a forearm
Stucho don't get mad, got permission from her dad
Thanks again, Erin, cause I just knocked up Satcho's son
FANTASTIC!
Once again of course the big rumor that's been floating around about stuttering John's
son.
And we didn't even have a conspiracy theory about John writing bitch from Stevie Tomatoes.
That's the biggest conspiracy theory of the day.
You're right. We didn't even talk about that.
But Andy, you did bring in a Stuttering John.
I didn't bring any Stuttering John stuff today because I had a lot of stuff to talk about yesterday on the emergency episode.
Yeah, that was great. And this is really just buffoonery.
He's he has a guest on
Guerrero Sofia Guerrero or some sports commentator. Okay, and then he gets off of that segment and starts bitching
Relentlessly about the fact that door dash did not deliver his beer
He ordered at the beginning of the show
He called them directly
He said don't come to my house tell your boss don't get the mouse and then he's like I won't be it like we're
Like I'm in your house. Yeah, make sure you send that girl Kate
Yeah, right, and I feel like he was just waiting for cold beer to be delivered to his door
But he has beer in the garage
So what we're gonna hear now is John walking off his show
for what felt like two minutes,
and this is him off camera
coming back from the garage with beer.
And it was pretty delightful.
All right, be right there.
I'm just gonna fucking put this shit over there.
Hey, hold on a second, all right?
I'm coming, hold on a second. All right. I'm coming Elizabeth.
I'm going to hell.
Like he has company over there.
Fucking thirsty.
I can do this shit, man.
What happened?
Hell.
Motherfucker.
No. Oh no. Oh Jesus
Skola Oh The IRL stuff that we wanted yeah
This is the IRL stuff that we wanted. Yeah.
Yes.
You see, booby trapped himself.
It was great.
Yeah, it's almost like he's a buffoon or something.
Which is the most perfect word.
I think it was EDR was on the show.
And he goes, I've never used the word buffoon in my life
before, but that's just the perfect word.
Wait a minute.
To sub this guy out.
Is that a Jewish symbol on his head there?
Yeah.
Yes.
No. Thank you for bringing that, Andy. Is that a Jewish symbol on his head there?
Thank you for bringing that Andy that was definitely worth checking out perfect amount of
I do I do appreciate that so
Something that we missed at the live show that we never got to was
Basim and this was the guy that we brought in for self help.
He was showing us how to get his dick longer and how to jerk off. Right.
Yeah, he's raiding pocket pussies. Yes. And getting his getting his own blood
re-injected into his dick in Thailand.
Yeah. Really important stuff.
Yes. What's more important than making your own come taste better
Yes, this is the information. I'm sorry. We didn't get this out there in Largo. I know this is very important
This is why did nobody do this? I know I'm sorry. Let's let's watch it now everyone take notes Lucy
Jesus I know obviously band practice guy didn't know about this Jerry didn't know about this
How to make your semen taste better your semen is mostly made of water
So make sure to drink a lot of water and what I can recommend you from personal experience if you will include
Electrolytes in your water. Usually the electrolytes are sweet once you ingest the electrolytes with your water
are sweet. Once you ingest the electrolytes with your water the sweetness of the electrolytes is going to translate to a sweeter semen. If you
ingest any liquids that are very sweet it can be cranberry juice, it can be
orange juice that has a lot of sugar in it, it is going to translate into
sweeter semen. Celery is very high in vitamin C,
and what vitamin C does is it flushes out
the salty flavor from your semen.
Beet grass, cinnamon, peppermint, and parsley.
Also lemon, and will make your semen taste less salty.
This guy's Google history has to be so embarrassing.
I hope it's his Google history, actually,
now that I think about it.
I mean, are electrolytes sweet. I have no idea. I can't imagine changing my diet to make my come taste different
Well, I did I did the taste test. I'm a whole I don't have a pineapple juice
As far as I'll go I did the Pepsi challenge. I'm a cinnamon guy all day
Wasn't one of the consequences from the creep off early on there was a recipe of
This guy write it that's a good question because that guy was obsessed with putting semen in your food and drinks
Whereas this guy I guess his girlfriend told him his semen tastes like shit
So he's like I got a little bit of that out. Yeah, that's true, too
Yes, he definitely takes a lot of things very personal
that women tell him.
All right, well we have more information here
in case that wasn't enough.
Good.
Did your girl do that face when you blasted in her mouth?
Well, yeah, that's because your semen
tastes like battery acid.
Now let's start with the foods you should avoid.
First of all, smoking.
Although it's not a food
But it's gonna make your semen taste like ashtray
So avoid it
Coffee?
Coffee is very acidic
And it's going to make your semen taste very bitter
Alcohol in general and beer specifically
Will make your semen also taste bitter and salty
Vegetables such as garlic, onion, leafy greens, asparagus, broccoli
will intensify taste in a very bad way. Eating too much meat is going to make
your semen taste salty and dairy products are just gonna make your taste
terrible. Alright I'm working on the smoked salmon semen hey, I will be passing out celery to all men always yeah
What do you think I'm gonna stop drinking and eating cigarettes?
I'm gonna wash out this steak with another cigarette. Give me that ashtray
Really good helpful information from this guy
What does this have to be for gay guys?
Right?
Like if you're like nagging your boyfriend like
don't eat that steak cause I'm
complaining about this. I'm gonna give you a treat later.
I don't know that a woman has ever done the
cat thing.
No shame Dawson.
What a tell
Carl. Oh I know all about
that. What happened to the cat? Well they don't like it when you What a tell Carl. Oh, I know all about that
What happened to the cat well? They don't like it when you pinch their nose
There's a few things you can do they're really annoying this shit out of
But what do I know all right?
Thank you Andy for For sharing finally we got closure on the scene. Yes. I know we were waiting for the
Yeah, that's the last we've seen of Basim.
So I mentioned earlier that because there
was a loss a couple of weeks ago,
there are stakes now in this contest.
And when you lose a week, it means
you got to do extra homework.
OK.
And so Lucy type-by- Lucy type eyes on the losing end of the self-help podcast
contest and
Producer Chris. Yeah, whatever. So anyway, we like for this
So for my extra homework I checked into Jerry Banfield's cuz it had been a while since we had and he is now telling his life story on YouTube, which is just great.
Hold on a second. I know I have a Jerry jingle.
I love to eat peanut butter. I love to eat honey. And I also love to eat beans. Beans. I look great. I feel great. Beans! Beans! I look great, I feel great. Beans! I look great, I feel great. Beans! Beans! Beans! Beans! Beans! Beans! Beans!
How do you think a semen tastes?
I was wondering the same thing.
Like beans?
Yeah, a little farty.
And sweet.
Alright, so in clip one here, he is going to start out by telling us when he was born.
Okay.
And we're going to hear more about his parents.
I know words.
I was born in 1984 to my mother and father
who met at the racetrack.
My dad was a harness horse jockey at the time
where he raced horses sitting in a car
behind horses in Michigan.
No, I told you I was gonna be boasting.
My father was an alcoholic, a drug addict,
a sex addict, a a gambler and a horse
jockey with
Should be shocked by some of that but mostly that I'm 13 years older than this guy. Yeah
We are gonna get into a little bit of how ageless he is as we continue along.
It's true.
Because I'm a little curious about his age.
In clip one B, we're gonna continue learning more
about how he's crazy.
I knew this.
I actually remember choosing my parents.
This was a memory I've been gifted recently.
I'm almost 10 years sober now,
and I've really opened my mind,
and I've done a lot of you know hypnotherapy
Read lots of books and reincarnation my mind's very open and one of the memories
I've been gifted with I remembered choosing my parents
So if you could choose your parents and you know you were making that choice would you choose a jockey and a drug addict?
Is he gonna knock that chick up? That alcoholic right there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do that. That sounds good to me. Yes, it seems like Jerry's been making bad decisions for a very long time. Very long time.
A very, very long time. So if people aren't familiar with Jerry Banfield, we first learned about him because I was trying to figure out how to use software or something. And Jerry had all these different videos on how to do things He seemed to know how to do everything and then I discovered that he was talking about
How to make money and he was six hundred thousand dollars in debt now. Well, that's interesting
I don't typically see someone who's terrible at money talking about how to make money
So we really started looking into those videos. Well since then
Jerry has done everything. He's a musician now, comedian.
He's he's tried everything there is to do.
He's professional YouTuber.
But what's amazing about Jerry is that he remembers all of his past lives.
He remembers when he was reincarnated.
He was on a spaceship in one of his past lives.
He remembers that he was, you know, it's amazing.
No one in the past life was just like peasant
Everyone was a king or something like that so of course he had all that kind of shit going on
But he was also he's also a black man. Yes
Former policeman
That's really real thing yeah, Andy. Let's get the real things he used to be at the police back to fake stuff
He picked his own parents
So what else did we learn about him?
We learned that mama Banfield's she she needed to figure out a way to provide for baby
Jerry because you know jockey and a drug addict was not a great father
And and he realized in clip to that the obvious answer for that was cryptocurrency, of course, in, you know, 1984.
But my mom was wondering, what exactly do I do with this baby? How can I provide for this baby?
I put all of my crypto into Internet computer. I didn't just dump my bag into this and backwards rationalize it.
I did a lot of research for a lot of years.
I've seen a lot of things come and go in crypto. I've been profitable nine years.
In a row did lose a lot of money. My first year.
A lot of things come and go, maybe my life savings, but now I'm about to ICP.
I can tell you one thing. NFTs are here to stay. Okay, Jerry.
All right. So moving over to clip four, I'm not really sure how old Jerry is.
So he says that he was born in 1984.
Correct.
Let's listen to clip four.
The math does sound hard on that.
I'm with you.
There's no way to know.
And I went to elementary school in Auburn, Alabama, which it was interesting because
they were still doing desegregation there. And I lived in like a mostly black and college kid
neighborhood so me and all the other black kids got bussed over to this white
school which was a fun experience I love that elementary school so he just said
that he remembers desegregation ending in Alabama or existing in Alabama. I looked that up.
Late 80s, yeah.
1966 is the answer to that question.
Also he came from a black neighborhood that was also college kids?
Yeah.
You know, he was one of the black kids.
Well, no, I got that.
I was just curious how many college kids live in the ghetto.
Not familiar with that.
No.
Doing research. Yeah. Okay.
We're going to skip over to clip six and we're going to find out that Jerry is a total prankster. He was a total prankster when he was a kid. In elementary school, that was also where
I got in the worst trouble I'd ever been. My parents grounded me for some time between a
week and a month. There's debate now because I was just totally
out of control as a kid fighting my parents and messing with them constantly. And so to
show my parents how much I love them, I've turned my parents' vehicle into more than
just a vehicle. I've turned it into the slut mobile. Won't mom and dad be surprised and
overwhelmed tomorrow morning when they get up to go to work? Yeah, so he's a regular Tom Green
Yeah, right. I get down. Yeah pretty pretty funny stuff principal uncertainty says there's such thing as too much sobriety. I agree
I agree sir. It's good. He's have a cocktail right now. What I can I think I think that brings up a good point
Which is that we should probably do a sanity check. So at this point, Jerry has told us about picking his drug addicted parents. We've discovered that he's ageless
and also he's a bad boy. Oh yeah? I know. Well, I mean, we just learned he got in so
much trouble. So it was completely crazy. You are grounded, mister. So in clip eight,
he got his shit together. And like you you mentioned he wants to become a productive member of society
But after two years
Doing ROTC at the University of South Carolina drinking and playing video games and chasing girls became much more important than going in the military
I
Then decided halfway through college. I would switch to criminal justice because crime
Really interested me and I thought it'd be fun to be a police officer oh yeah everyone thinks that super fun also it just baffles my mind but these are our
cops yeah we didn't last on the force very long but I hear what you're saying
yeah it is a little surprising to me surprising he made it yes Jerry is that coffee ready so in
clip 9 after all of these years of hardship he finally found his home which
is wonderful and I found my home on YouTube YouTube has proven to be the
one place I've created that's been the most supportive over you know since I
started on YouTube so now I'm a full-time youber, youtuber and twitch streamer
Cracking himself up with his music right now. I've never seen someone sober, huh?
Talent I'm wishing him the best so people wonder I know Jerry's very likable guy people wonder
How can you just become a youtuber that seems like an amazing job? Well?
Here's the secret marry an attorney and then make zero money
Yeah, because that's what Jerry is to lose all her money
Yeah, lose all of her money and then go don't worry next year. It's gonna work. Yeah, we're gonna figure this out
Yeah, we're gonna figure this thing out because Jerry he was doing he might still be doing a song a day on his music channel
So that's what I brought he dropped on a couple days
Did you finish up with his story?
Yep.
All right, so that's a good segue.
And he describes this.
It's called Drop That Bottom.
Okay.
This funny song will get you laughing
with the freestyle rap lyrics, which are clean.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
So here's the last note about this is,
I'm like, oh, this is gold.
I'm gonna see a game,
how long my co-host can keep up with this I lasted a minute I'm like totally lost
and you'll see why I just want to point out it's called song 173 because yeah
he's literally just writing a shitty song every day. This is a bad strategy
He didn't trough meeting off I believe your horse to water drink. Don't make me think you're starting to stink.
I can't think, think, think, think, think.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, John, I need it on the ring date.
Oh, I'm on your day.
No, no, no, no.
Don't speak like that anymore.
I can't understand you anymore. Please don't bore me with those random lyrics, but he's gonna go
I
That's right tapped out Well, you know what they say you got a right bad to write good. Is that what?
Yeah, so what what's every four it's gonna be a banger. I hope so
I hope it was more work into the next one well it sounded like someone was producing him someone was laughing is laughing
Yeah, rolling him saying. Oh, this is gold
Let's do another tomorrow
Keep it up Jerry. Banjo is there it's called Jerry. Yeah
Jerry you suck at this. I'm sorry buddy. I know we're friends and everything but
Music is not for you. I have to tell you. All right guys. I
Want to give you a quick update
because another buddy of mine,
Greg Opie Hughes is still trying to go viral.
I'm the man, I'm the man.
I'm the man, I'm the man.
I'm the man, I'm the man.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba. for the man! Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum!
I'm going to Opie's page, Opie Radio on YouTube, and he's putting together these videos for
us that I guess are supposed to be entertaining and amusing and you know he wants us to catch
on for everyone to be watching this so I'll help him out, I'll give him a boost.
I love your puffs!
I'm a huge fan.
Huge fan.
I love your puffs.
I love your cream puffs.
They're the best in the world.
Let's kiss. Let's kiss.
No kiss? It's through the glass.
All right.
Thank you.
Carry on.
No kiss today.
Yep.
I did not edit that.
Or any other day.
I did not edit that.
That's Opie's video.
And let's read some of the comments underneath because those are pretty funny.
I bet your kids end up just like s chase
Say what you want about this guy, but he is persistent these videos are basically getting zero views and he still doesn't know when to quit
That is very true. And my favorite is this one
Where it says this is the cringiest thing since the last thing.
Opie just continues to put out just the worst videos, harassing people on the street and oh, isn't that funny?
It's an Asian woman who can barely understand what you're saying through the
glass.
Yeah, good stuff.
Opie.
He never gets the reaction he wants, but he still puts it out.
He's like, well, I mean, I spent 30 seconds on it.
Might as well post it.
This is back to his podcast.
And again, he cut this up himself.
So he thinks this is a hot take about rubbernecking the scene of an accident.
We've all had these conversations before, but only Opie has the hottest of hot takes.
I think if you're not a rubbernecker, you're a sociopath. Let's lay this
out horrific scene right over here, right? And you're driving by. So this is the thing
that I was driving. I was laughing about when we were at the Airbnb and Largo or St. Pete's
where we were. And to key was next to me cutting up all the bits. And he started putting it
in two X speed. He's like, yeah, opi's actually wildly entertaining in 2x speed because he does these gestures. He just looks like a moron
I believe this is an example of that. He's pretending to be driving and you don't even look to your to your right at all
You're a sociopath. Yeah rubberneck are stink because you're in traffic
You're like what what's the hold up and then it's just some guy on the side of the road.
He's not even doing anything.
There's not much to really look at
and you get really, really frustrated.
I usually just lay on the horn
when it's my turn to pass the situation
because I'm so frustrated.
I don't know what to do with myself.
Because we all are like, oh my God,
we got what is going on up there.
We all have to look.
And you get frustrated because, you know, I know I'm not the only one,
if you're in a horrible rubber-necking delay,
there's a point where you're grabbing onto
that steering wheel really hard,
and you're going, this better be good.
And if you're a guy, just like this,
and you go right, oh look, I like this.
And you're just, there's a horrific scene right here.
Okay, let's let's let's lay this out.
Horrific scene right over here, right?
And you're driving by and you don't even look to your to your right at all.
You're a sociopath!
Hot take, Alpie.
So I had to play you one of my favorite George Carlin bits because as usual George Carlin's already done this and much much better than you did LP.
This is how it's done.
Now on the other hand, on the other hand, if I should be out driving around looking for a little fun and I see an accident, one that I'm not involved in, I stop immediately.
Well, I want to get a good look at what's going on.
I enjoy that sort of thing.
Someone else is injured. I want to take a look. I am Curious George.
But people don't like that. Police don't like it. They say you're rubber-necking. They say
you're blocking traffic. Never mind that shit.
I want to take a look.
I'm never too busy that I can't stop to enjoy someone else's suffering.
And I'll tell you something else. I'm a big fan of traffic accidents. You know my favorite accident? Two buses and a chicken truck.
Get hit by a circus train in front of a flea market.
Well, I want to see something interesting.
I'm looking for a neck sticking out of a gas tank.
If I'm going to take the time to stop, I expect a couple of fucking laughs.
And if my car should happen to be in such a position where I can't quite see what's going on,
can't get a good enough look, I'm not the least bit shy about asking the police
to bring the bodies over a little closer to the car.
Pardon me officer, would you fellows mind dragging that twisted looking chap over here a little closer to the car please?
My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that.
Look at that sugar lips, that's his rib cage sticking out of the glove compartment.
Thank you officer, that will be all now.
You can throw him back on the pile.
We'll be moving along, and off I go out onto the highway looking
for little fun perhaps a tanker truck filled with human waste will explode in
front of the Pokemon factory good takes though I'll be pretty good stuff yeah
who's rubber duckers huh can we go back and watch it in 2x now? No, it's what's Opie be funny by speeding it up. He's dangerously close to doing this. Yeah
All right, so now Opie is doing the show at Gebhard's and
This is another clip that he pulled himself. He thinks this is very funny and it's a quick one
I like the dark chocolate over the regular. So you're saying just like my women. I like them really
I like the dark chocolate over the milk chocolate. So you're saying-
Just like my women, I like them really-
chocolatey.
Frothy.
Frothy, yes.
Do you like them with nuts?
No, I don't.
No, I don't like my dark chocolate with nuts.
This show should be called your dad's friends.
I know.
Because they're just amusing each other over shit.
You're just like, yeah, we've all are bored with this conversation.
Balls, dick, let's just say everything. Yeah, right. Oh my god. Oh, you know I like my women
Do ya like my coffee ground up in the freezer? Oh?
But oh, we still try to go viral because it was just Easter this past Sunday
And so opi says how do I get an Easter video out there people gonna be searching on Easter?
Everyone's on YouTube going Easter videos go and Opie's like how do I show up at the top of that list?
So he figures out a way to put together a fantastic
Easter themed video that I'm surprised. It's only has a couple hundred
He's got peeps he's got a microwave
This is called Easter peeps of microwave you won't believe it
All right, so now he's putting them in for two minutes
and hitting start
And guys you won't believe this you won't believe what
happens to peeps in the microwave you ready for this
it's heating up guys when things heat up they expand that's a little science
can knowledge for you turn down the stupid audio.
All right, so the peep is getting bigger.
Carl, make it stop.
No, no, it's getting more exciting.
So you're probably thinking, okay, this is boring.
What are we gonna do to spice this up?
Well, multiple peeps.
Yes, two peeps in the microwave.
Now what happens?
Three peeps?
It's unprecedented. Four peeps. Now what's gonna happen?
Wow, they all expand and then this is the payoff of all payoffs right here
Wait until he pulls the plate out of the microwave and you see that these marshmallow treats
Which you would never would have guessed in a million years have melted
marshmallow treats, which you would never would have guessed in a million years, have melted. They melted onto the plate.
You're one of the biggest hacks I know!
I am Jewish, I have never eaten a peep, and I don't think that any of that was unsurprising
to me.
No, it was not surprising in any single way.
I want to say he just reposted that.
It looked too good for him to have shot that.
Really?
It looked terrible. Well, it didn't look great, but I just don't think that he took the time to do it of things he put in the microwave
Cardiff is here. What's up?
Hello, why would you put me in the microwave?
Well because you're more delicious when even cooked I got it and speaking of microbes is that really opi's microwave
That's a good question. I'm big water. There's no conspiracy theory going on. That wasn't even open video
Do that repurposed Easter
Glory from Opie Opie doesn't seem like a white microwave kind of guy. Okay interesting
Well next time Opie's doing a live stream. What's all super chat or show us your microwave?
Find out what happens
Alright one more clip from Opie
Opie's got a hot take on coconuts and
This is again at gabards with the owner Matt
Coconut flakes
Coconut flakes are stupid look at his super chatting not even super chatting looking who's chanting right now our buddy mr. Gir
And don't we just push this up on the screen It just leaves it there because he's a fucking idiot
The most entertaining thing about OP show is shit. He's not trying to do at all times
Coconut flakes are stupid. Oh, yeah, this gets if you thought that was spicy it gets spicier. Don't worry
Hey coconut flakes Coconut flakes?
Coconut flakes are stupid.
They get stuck in your teeth.
Are they stupid?
They get stuck in your teeth.
Why are they stupid?
Is it just-
It's annoying.
It's just annoying.
Coconut like toasted whatever.
See, Opi's one of these guys who's so happy as a friend to talk to.
Yeah.
Did you hear my friend, son?
He's so quirky. Stupid. He's so- Can you friend to talk to yeah, did you hear my friend said he's so quirky
Stupid he's so can you back coconut flakes right that stupid? He's so funny this guy
He's so fun coconut flakes are like your audience stupid. Hopey your friend sucks
Alright, I hate to be the bearer bad news, but not your friend
So not your friend. Yeah.
Coconut like toasted whatever crap coconut flakes.
You gotta get that.
It's yucky literally.
You know like water balloons.
Coconut water stinks.
It's sad because like Carl Ruiz was actually interesting.
Yeah.
And he used to hang out with the guy who'd be like, oh, we stop it.
This is not.
And he would put him in his place from time to time.
Now he surrounds himself with jerk offs who all go, haha, I know right coconut.
What?
We're all in this conversation
Watch out everyone dark meat
Coconut water stinks. The whole thing is no stink. Good for you the whole thing. You know that
Crap your pants though. You know a lot of people die from coconuts every year. You get my coconut. Yeah
How many you think you hear?
nine 150 people a year
150 dummies every year closest without going over prices right?
Because you didn't even guess so I said a lot. I said a lot
That's better than nine. You said nine. I did say nine
God, can we listen to that Jerry Banfield songs to work he edits that and puts that out as if that's interesting content right there
Can you imagine best at night, but it was 150. Yeah, same thing cares kids. It's the rest of the show like
That's the thing. I was I was watching his latest
Beer show is in the basement of gabards and they're all excited because there's a woman on there who's in her 20s
And like hey check this out. We got a young woman
And she's talking about the history of the show jeopardy and I'm watching I'm like, holy shit. This is
Mind-numbing. I can't make had your tales of why anyone would watch this show
It's so boring and every time they're trying to have a little bit of fun and she's anyway. So what
happened was Merv Griffin. Yeah, whatever gives a shit. No one
cares about the history of the show Jeopardy. And then hope
he's got to talk about how we knew Alex Trebek sister some
shit. People are fucking bore fasts. And I know when I see
him what's up card if I do a buddy?
Entered into a strange spot in the show
Trying to find my place you better do a perfect spot in the show because Annie is here. Oh, what's up? Annie hello. Oh hello
And it is time for who said it is and of course
This is a very challenging game that only to key is good at
Although I think I won last time now. I think about it. You've got one
Stop it. I got more than one right. Oh, you mean a winning streak. Yes. All right
So I used to be okay at this game whenever Patrick Michael was on the lineup because I listened away too much of what he was saying
Right, but you know, that's one option that I don't have anymore
Well today we got caught up on Jerry Banfield and the Opster. So I think we're ready for the show today
I think we're ready to figure out who said it
Welcome to who said it the official podcast game on W ATP brought to you by patreon.com
slash card of electric and the card of electric YouTube channel subscribe today.
Okay Carl and co host who said it our first entry who said it? Our first entry.
Who said it?
Our first entry.
Real men don't manscape.
Who said it?
One.
All right. It's real men don't manscape.
Our options are Chad Zuma, Kate Meany, Kevin Brennan, Stuttering John, Tommy T,
Tommy from MSCS Media, and Tom Myers.
Those are our six choices.
Real Men, Don't Manscape.
I am gonna go with Tom Myers.
What do you think, Lucy?
I'm gonna go with Tommy from MSCS.
All right, Andy?
Stat Joe. Annie? Stat Joe.
Producer Chris? I went with Tommy T. All right, we got a couple Tommy T's. I'm the only Tom
Myers. Two, three. I used to manscape. Oh! One of the hottest girls on Twitter who I'm still in love with.
This girl, Alexis, who left cause of all the trolls said,
at least to have wonderful conversations.
You're going to lose her. I mean,
it's the hottest girl on Twitter. Wonderful conversations. He's so lame.
And she said that real men don't manscape. She See said leave it the way it's supposed to be. Yeah, cuz she'll never touch your balls
That's why she said that to you. Josh. They'll never be anywhere near your ball sack
Who had celery John now? I know Annie and Andy very good. All right a couple people on the board
right away
our next entry Right. A couple people on the board right away.
Our next entry.
I'll take a little bit of a dose of Parkinson's.
Who said it?
I'll take a little bit of a dose of Parkinson's.
That's a tough one.
I gotta go Kevin Brennan.
What do you think, Lucy?
I'm gonna go Opie.
All right. Andy. What do you
running Tom Myers Tom Myers, what do you think Annie I
Also, not Tom Myers
Also, when Tom Myers page all right a lot of time my show Who is why I didn't pick him is because I just picked up but sorry bad graphics opi is an option
She for this game
Kate meanies out
One two three Get symptoms of
Parkinson's why you're eating well if I have cancer, and I'm sick
I'll take a little bit of a dose of Parkinson's for a little bit to beat the cancer
Why did you even say that if it wasn't open yeah difference no, but just I just realized that Kate's still up there
So Kate's still up there, and I covered Joe Mattarisa supposed to come okay
Opie anyway made the right yes, okay all right so for the rest of the game Opie's in play
Opie's in play Opie's in play Kate
Meanie is not Kate is out. Okay. Got it damn it. I'm glad I said something
Thank you our next entry
Ignorance of the law is no excuse
Who said it?
All right
John definitely did not because he would not even know that to be the case
So I'm gonna go with Right. John definitely did not, because he would not even know that to be the case.
So I'm going to go with Chad Zumach.
It can't be, but I'm going with Chad.
What do you think, Lucy?
I'm going.
Talking to the microphone.
KB again.
Andy.
Tom Myers.
Andy, what do you think?
Chad.
And producer Chris.
I went Zumach.
All right, we got a bunch of Zum. Ox, much as Eman. One, two,
three.
I think New York state is too sorry. So you probably can't do it.
Kate, you live in New York, right?
All right. Stop bragging.
What if we just said it was random conversation that we got.
No, I'm not doing it.
I don't play that game.
I don't play the game.
Hey, your honor, what if I said, he's like, ignorance of the law is no excuse of the law.
That's the first thing.
Did anyone get that one right?
Yeah.
KB.
Who picked KB?
LT. Me. Oh, good job? Yeah. KB. Who picked KB? LT.
Me.
Oh, good job.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
That's why you're talking to the microphone.
Our next entry.
The first thing you see is America.
America.
Who said it?
I gotta go, Ta...
Yes, Ta. Ta. I got to go
I gotta go Tom Myers. What do you think Lucy? I'm gonna go Opie. Hmm. What do you think Andy? Oh, he's a good guess. I was like an acute meaning threw me off
Will it change your mind if I say he was saying this as his view from a spacecraft
Tommy tea is that what you're saying?
All right, yeah pick one
Opie all right Annie
Alien Tommy yep, and what do you think producer crust I wentpie. All right, I think that Cardiff gave it away
with that one once again.
You think?
One, two, three.
First thing you see is America.
Oh!
Opie!
America.
Huh?
Yeah!
All right, Andy and you got that one
What's the score so far? I'm getting very lost that it was open. Okay, so yeah me and and Andy and oh, yeah
And LT. Oh wow three three people got that one. Sorry LT
very good, so card if only has one point and
What are the other scores? We got a couple of two points?
You see yeah, Andy has to Lucy has to all right. Let's keep it rolling
final entry if
You're African American or colored
Who said it?
I'm gonna go with
It's pretty dot during John Melendez. What do you think Lucy? I'm also gonna go with John
Andy Chad's you mark. All right, what do you think Annie?
alien Tommy again
And PC I went opi. All right
one
two
three
No, everything's right up. You know what they do with colored women
Jesse Peterson or Jesse Peterson is it just Pearson yeah, yeah, he's cool guy cool funny guy anyway
So he was explaining to me that in the color communities every time a woman has a kid
So he was explaining to me that in the color communities, every time a woman has a kid, they get more and more money.
But they don't do that with the Caucasian,
they don't do that with the other.
But if you're African American or colored in that community,
every time you have a kid, you leave the guy,
you get more and more and more money.
It's a reverse survival kind of mentality.
So.
But what I'm saying is what you were doing was so
fantastic because I had seen the data on this but I had seen the data on why
they're not getting it why would a woman get why would anyone get a job if I'm
already in a bad situation but if I have a kid I get more enough to go get a job
but they've incentivized the colored people to just have kids
And that's why when I saw this I thought
Didn't say what color you know giving every single colored person this horrible rap that they're from the hood the brownest skin of any
Whatever it may be That's all for this time.
Now you know.
All right, what happened to this?
We got a three-way tie with Annie, Andy, and LT.
Wow, congratulations.
Anyone but Carl.
Yeah, Carl, your reign of terror is over.
I told you I was gonna suck today.
I knew it was gonna happen.
Okay. Yeah. Who said it I was going to suck today. I knew it was going to happen.
Okay.
Yeah.
Who said it?
Sit Eugene, sit. Good dog.
I love that Tommy T is into Jesse Lee Peterson. That's interesting. We might have to explore that a little bit more. Are you familiar?
We had him on.
Oh, we did.
Yeah, he was featured in an episode of to catch an alien
Oh, I don't remember that. Are you familiar with Jesse Lee Peterson's teachings? I've heard some things
Mostly on that show fucking outrageous. I only know about it from Dick Masterson that tells you anything. Dick's a big fan
So pretty fun stuff. All right, great game Cardiff as always. Thank you for bringing that
So pretty fun stuff. All right. Great game Cardiff as always. Thank you for bringing that
Cardiff brings the goods on this one. Someone was asking in the chat earlier what happened to
Tookie soup from last night. I thought that was still up. Is that that get taken down or something? I don't know. I jumped off as of now. Oh, okay. They did get taken down
Yeah, I watched it struck by the WWE for something. Oh, yeah, you can't fuck around with WWE
They definitely will do that
You want a fun podcast fact Carl? I always want a fun podcast fact, you know that the latest episode of Joe Rogan
I don't even know who he is interviewing
But he's only been on YouTube for a couple weeks
He's already complaining about YouTube copyright strikes. Yep having to take things down and edit things out and yep
Yep, it sure does rumbles the way to go everybody. Yeah, let's get over to rumble where you're the fuck you want
They struck my shit for SNL clips. Yo, yeah, I said oh we the same
Casts I had to tell Christian like you cannot play SNL. They just take it right down. Yes
Anything NBC. Yes, NBC is on top of that shit for sure. So and definitely WWE
Gotta be careful of that. There was a great guy stuff last night
There's my favorite one
that was a
I guess a turbo blood is also pregnant. Yeah
Are we talking about how night and day are a couple? Yeah, and then we're speculating what turbos
Polar opposite partner's name would be uh-huh. I came up with slow-mo. Okay turbo. It's
Just putting that out there to key very good sounds Jewish actually
Guys what have we done today? We've done it all we talked about conspiracy podcasts. We had the Shane Dawson
Podcast what the hell was the name of the show you guys brought in pretty boy Rios pretty boy Rios
We talked about some eclipse conspiracies
We got the religious angle, the Alex Jones globalist
angle on it. The guys in the car douche bag angle. Yep. Tony muskrat came in with a new
song, stuttering, John dropped all the beers coming in from the garage or whatever the
hell he had them. Lucy came in with some Jerry Banfield information. Basim is teaching us
how to make our semen tastes delicious. I saw Annie in the back nodding have the band information. Basseem is
teaching us how to make our
semen taste delicious. I saw
Annie in the back nodding her
head. Yes, that's what you do.
That's what you should do. Uh
of course, Opie is still
trying to go viral with all of
his hot takes. We had a
three-way tie for who said it.
So, you know what that means?
It's time for everyone's favorite
part of the show. The Teaser! The Teaser!
The Teaser!
The Teaser!
This is the part of the show we play, clip from the podcast that we'll be
reviewing on the next episode. Before these podcasts,
I'm happy to say, Blind Mike
Geary will be joining us.
Hot off of his amazing
performance with that
chick with the big tits.
The blind date. Lauren Compton. I just watched that this morning the big tits. Oh yeah, the blind date.
Lauren Compton.
I just watched that this morning.
It was great.
Fantastic.
Mike did a great job, as could have been predicted
by anyone, because Mike's fantastic.
So he'll be back on the show, and we'll be checking this out.
One of my aches is seeing a guy eating on a plate.
Oh my god.
I couldn't agree more taking the butter
like eating and it's so small that like your elbows have to be in and is what
unpeeling the aluminum foil and he's eating why are you eating what are you
eating like what you're hungry take the butter and he's like On the stale dry ass bread On the stale ass bread
Like why are you hungry for starters
Wait till you get off the plane
Yeah
Tray up, earphones in
Suck it up for the 8 hours and eat when you land
At a nice restaurant
Yeah, but wait we're allowed to eat why
Well because we're starving
And it's free food
That's why we're eating
This is the X podcast a suggestion that came in from Jody B
To check this out. That's how the most recent episode starts right there everyone. I didn't just find a part. That's ridiculous
That's what they thought was compelling enough people like I gotta watch this whole episode This is gonna hate those two this is crazy. Could you imagine someone eating food out of their plane?
Yeah, it happens on every flight with every single passenger. They literally give everyone food. Yeah
Not that crazy, but okay you say so not on spirit. No not on spirit
Guys you ever see the movie airplane
Like everyone's like eating this food.
What?
Yeah, it's like the whole plot of the movie, but apparently it's the crazy thing.
So anyway, join us for the next episode of Who Are These Podcasts?
And in the meantime, because there's some days in between this episode and the next,
of course you can check out Who Are These Socials.
That happens every Thursday, 6pm Eastern on this YouTube on this YouTube channels also got its own podcast feed
You can subscribe to and listen to that show, but there's other shows out there to check out for example all apologies podcast
What's going on over there?
We just got our
Bonus episode struck down because there's SNL clips in it. Oh shit. I mean, I just posted it straight up to patreon
So that's up there
We talked about Kenan Thompson's reaction to the Dan Schneider shit and then today our second part of the Dan Schneider
The first episode was like an hour and 40 minutes
So I chopped it into two seconds and we highlighted that Brian Robbins
the other guy from head of the class who's the head of nickelodeon and paramount plus is also complicit in
Dan Schneider's horse shit, which is his favorite toe on a tween yeah, yeah, right
They each get a big toe of a very on a grande in their mouth
No, well it's all going down so oh, yeah, please check out all apologies podcast
We will check that out all apologies podcast calm
And once over with Kaylee, you've got a couple thousand subs on that channel now. Thank you killing it I do and it's been a very exciting week. Also this week. I released a review of the movie colossal
I do movie reviews over at once over with Kaylee on YouTube
Cay le y and in addition to that, this week I launched Patreon.
Whoa!
I know, very exciting, which is also once over with Kaylee.
Uh-oh.
So if you-
Are we gonna lose you on this show?
Yeah.
Are you gonna big time us soon?
Yeah, fuck you.
Yeah.
So over on Patreon, if you subscribe over there,
you can check out early releases of my content,
the uncensored versions of my reviews, and in addition to that popsicle reviews, very unsexy.
All right. Get excited. So on Patreon right now, you can check out my review of the movie
Pieces from 1982, one of the best slasher films of all time with bad at karate. And
I'm also doing a YouTube premiere of the censored version of that on Friday at 6 30 p.m
Eastern very good, and you and I both got a gift in Largo. Yes breathing fire
Yeah, do you remember the name of the person who gave that to us Brandon and Mandy Brandon and Mandy? Thank you
I watched it my wife and I watched it right away. Have you watched it yet? Don't spoil it
I want Andy and I have plans
Good enough. Yeah, it's fantastic
It's definitely worth a watch and we've been getting a lot of gifts in the mail
This is a gift that came in
Actually a whole bunch of things came in. I don't know who they're from
But this is a shark hat
They came in
Just like the fan art it's think that's for you, Lucy.
It's all coming together.
I don't like when you pushed it towards me.
I also got this hamburger hat.
Oh, I'm starving.
So I got a hamburger hat, you got a shark hat.
I also got this weird Cobra Commander plate thing.
That's fucking rad!
Come on, man!
Give me that!
Wait, let me see.
What is going on here? That's awesome. That's pretty sweet. red
That's awesome. It's pretty sweet and then
Not so sweet is this fucking miss me
Pat or some shit other what this is a floor mat for a car. Maybe it's it's gonna be yeah garbage
But I'm stitching it to my jean jacket
Get that shit out of here, and then we had another gift come into our PO box Who are these comm you can find our PO box on there, and it was addressed to Lucy now Lucy got a vibrator
Month or so ago, and you got another gift. Where did you put that we haven't opened it yet? We don't know what it is, okay?
We were saving it for the end here. I don't like staring at the shark while I'm it's not a real shark
I don't we don't know that
Who did the video editing on the date with Lucy video? I did nice
I enjoyed the shark you put a good special effects. Thank you. Yeah
All right, what do we got here?
Open it for the camera, okay?
Oh, you're one of those people who reads the card first a gift for you
May these balls further tighten the already ultimate tight box causing a glitch in the matrix and collapsing reality as we all know it
from another tight box simp
Another tight box. This isn't the same huh? It's a we got white box
With a black on the back
Gravity exercise six balls six kind of weight 21 different ways made in China
It's heavy. Oh
Kegel balls kegel balls okay, so I figured so we can tighten up that shit up
Thank you guys
Only after she's done using it
That's my rule for this. All right, of course
Annie you have a show with Dylan from somewhere. I
Do it's called. What is this game? It's a video game review podcast. You can find it on youtube.com
slash at
WITGS and
Cardiff I know that you're busy with all sorts of shenanigans, but no one could keep track of your schedule or what's going on
But patreon.com push car vector YouTube members. I have reassembled
Stuttering John's poor little Jew boy
Using his actual music and his actual singing so I check out the music video
We would definitely check that out and please join us again next time
It might be the episode we find out once for all who are these podcasts sleep well everypony
Great show good job everybody great job everyone
Annie do we have any new reviews that you'd like to read for us?
Yeah, we've actually got quite a few, but I'm just going to read two of the new ones.
Sounds good.
We have the first one coming in from OMG Clay Aiken, March 23rd, 2024.
Trigger warning. Hosts are racist, homophobic, and misogynist.
Every episode has explicit language, which I believe Obama banned years ago.
They go after their enemy's children's, not even the mob does that.
The only reason I continue to listen is to see what horrible things you can possibly
say next.
If you choose to listen to this podcast, make sure you have a safe space to go to afterwards.
That sounds like a five-star review if I've ever heard one.
Yes, my reading of it wasn't five-star, so.
No, it was fantastic. I appreciate that. Who wrote that one? review if I've ever heard one Yes, my reading of it wasn't five stars. No
Appreciate that who wrote that one that one's OMG Clay Aiken. Thank you. Oh, I'm glad you can very good The second one comes in from I know lab 1319
Insignificant this guy is so boring. He has to make a podcast about other podcasts
They really will give a microphone to anyone these days
I'm sorry was just a the other
Smh shaking my head
Shut the fuck up ass wipe and suck my cock is that a one-star review?
Mmm. I like it. He says don't give a podcast
Come on head over a podcast
My turn to get one
All right, well. Thank you for that Annie looking good in that shirt, too
No, thank you. Did you have a good time in Florida with us? Oh, it was fantastic
We have a talk since the show, haven't we?
Cuz we missed last week. No not not at all cuz there was no midweek episode and I'm not on Saturdays
But it's great to see you all again. Yeah, it was great to see you
I'm glad that you made it out you made a long drive st. Louis to Largo
I'm gonna end up driving to Rochester for Davocon to
Gotta try to start planning for that nice very good start driving now
Well it was great to see you, and I'm glad that you hung out with us what's
voicemails real quick?
How's Scorch gonna get on that guy's ass for saying motherfucker and go?
We have kids that watch this show and then when he's doing his ad read, he's like, you know when you're at
www.pornhub.com
Like what what the fuck dude, you can't say motherfucker, but you're gonna just tell like whatever fuck you swore
I'm glad you realize you made your point
Most voicemailers should do that guy. I made my point moving on
Apparently so you guys know there's that YouTube channel. That's
Edited down all of our coverage of stuttering John going back to the very beginning like 2018 starting sex pest yes stuttering sex pest
So you can go on there and you listen for eight nine hours at a time of these
Different episodes we did about did about sir John some of them didn't age very well apparently
I'm listening to one of those compilations of all your stuttering John segments that somebody put together on YouTube, and it's
February 2020 and I'm having trouble leaving my 2024 frame of mind when I hear you and
your co-host say how you love Vinny the lawyer and he has an open invitation on
the show anytime. Monique sucks and she should never be co-hosting a show with anyone
And then the best one was when Vinny was saying how he was trying to get Ron Jeremy and John at the club
And he'd love to work with John and I'm just sitting there like wow. They don't know it's coming three years from now
Yeah, a lot of things have changed
Changed in four years. That's for sure. Whoops
That was February of 2020
We're also like assholes of us all and you know what I put a races on pencil
I'm gonna commute to work every day. I don't even care. I love driving to work
Restaurants are getting bigger and better
I'm not gonna spend any time here anymore
Restaurants are getting bigger and better
I'm not gonna spend any time here anymore
That guy called back in again. Oh and also in February of 2020 stuttering John said it would be the last time he goes after you losers
That didn't quite work out the way he thought it would hey Riley Martin calling into the show. He's exciting
calling into the show. This is exciting. Oh, quiet tension one call. It's a round of mine and I was listening to the show and me and my fellow Bahavians want we want our French
here to come back home. When are you going to pay me motherfucker? Oh, God, tension one.
And a boo boo. I didn't think that was actually right. He
Martin until he asked for payment. That's called I'm sorry.
You want to
It's really my
Here's a some information about Dave and Chuck the Freak.
Hey burger. It's Robin Michigan. Listen those those titans of morning comedy, Dave and Chuck the
freak just released a new live show. And I think it'd be apropos for WATD to go after
them again. They're worse than they ever were. And it's my understanding that Dave really
gets bent out of shape over any criticism or any mention of Drew and Mike. So please
give it a whirl because they suck worse than they ever have. Thanks. Bye.
Well, I appreciate that. So I looked it up. I couldn't find their live show. They do put out these segments like six, seven, eight minutes at a time on their YouTube page. We can always explore that. I didn't see a live show anywhere though. So not sure where that is. Let me know.
Carl, this new Buzz Meyers song that you dropped. I can't get it out of my head. I'm felt this way since funky town
That's right, buddy
Watch out for let it die by buzz Meyers. It's a catchy ditty
We played it on the podcast last time
So if you want to check that out see the end of the last episode of who are these podcasts?
Carl it's Nate from Clint, Michigan
Sorry in advance for the 45 second rule.
I do appreciate the shout out and the sore loser theory as to why I didn't make it to
Largo.
However, Friday morning of the show, Southeast Michigan got a snowstorm that's a dabble con
blizzard to shame.
Of course there were accidents galore.
I missed my flight and the earliest they could get me there was 1 a.m. I'm always behind on customer projects, so I just canceled my trip
Even worse than not seeing you guys is my dumbass
Just think for trip insurance. So I lost the flight car and hotel money
I'm not on stuttering John's level of wealth. So it was a big hit that sucks
I did text the story to the what to the WAC phone that same day
But it's my dad expecting you to read it when I didn't include a pic of juicy boobs from one of the horrors in my life
Good point. I don't think you'll be Vegas, but you'll get another opportunity to suck my balls at a later date. Okay, sounds good
Yeah, he does send me photos of girls. He's looking up with her time to time
So we have this voicemail number. You can also text it. I don't get around to checking it that often He does send me photos of girls he's looking up with from time to time.
So we have this voicemail number. You can also text it.
I don't get around to checking it that often, but sometimes I do.
I'm looking forward to seeing Nate in Vegas.
If you do text it, text a signature so he notes you.
Yes, I need to see how your asses are written.
Nate from Flint.
Yeah, if it is you. All right.
Speaking of people who did make it to the show
in Largo. The man practice head calls a lot of fun shooting that day with Lucy type box, but the
only complaint I have is your name on the credits. You did fuck all that day. You stood around and
hung out at Hogan's surf shop while you pawned everything off on Vinnie Paulino. Vin any Paulino anybody know people champ coming back
Siri hang up
Google how to remove a video off the internet permanently
BPG I
Executive produced that video sir. It was in it. He was featured in I did I walked across you while you're giving a lap dance
And we wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for car, and I also did things like I went hey go film that over there
Let's walk over there
Some drinks I think I did that much. All right, whatever. So everyone is
Raging about the Buzz Meyers song that we put out, you know, obviously last week We didn't do the midweek show, but it's worth it because we have this great new EP that'll be available very soon. Everyone's loving
it. Oh, was the end of that last episode, uh, genuine? Am I missing a bit here? Because, uh,
Buzz Meyers fucking sucks. My guy, your vocals are in your nerves. You've got clubs all in your carols.
Fucking, that was harder to listen to than the entirety of the Christmas episode, man.
Wow.
What the fuck?
I guess Andy, not everyone likes our band.
Buzz Meyers, apparently.
Remember when you used to pretend Buzz Meyers was a sponsor of the show?
No.
I don't.
You did do that.
Pepper Tom remembers. Of the band of the show no You did do that
Pepper Tom remembers
Who are these marketers are you like the baseline fuck you dude
Yeah, someone asked if you were that Carl's not the singer someone asked if you were the same
Yeah, neither of us are the lead. No. Yeah, the singer. That's me, but I will say
Now the album came out great
I'm very happy with it, but our singer did do scratch vocals on the first day and then called it sick update
Yeah, got you sick like I got me say real professional. Yeah, so we had to use the scratch vocals, but it came out great
They'll get me wrong. It's fantastic. Oh
Boy return of the great Gardini coming at everyone
Yes, I do
Do you have the answers? Yes, I do.
Well, let me hear them then.
Kevin Brennan.
Kevin Brennan.
Snoop Dogg.
Snoop Dogg.
Stuttering John Melendez.
And Stuttering John Melendez.
Now, I have to ask you, do you have the envelope with the question?
Yes, I do.
Take it away.
I'm opening the envelope and the questions are, name a yapper, a rapper, and a crapper.
Now, Carl, I have a question for you.
Yeah, what's up? Are you still wearing Cuban heels when you perform with the isotopes?
Anyway
So far away dates this you have her locked in a cage again, it's a great question I the production value
That's a great question. I that the production value. It's
a bunch of crap. He's wearing
that giant like turban to be
the great garden. So, she can't
get too close. So, we heard
from Nate who didn't show up to
the show was supposed to be
part of it. What about Kyle
photographer? Yeah, what about
Kyle photographer? He was
supposed to be your boyfriend at the show. He didn't show up
Hey Carl, it's Cal photographer. I do not have a baby-sized monitor. It is a
Very large monitor the biggest monitor intact very high resolution, so fuck you I used to be a web designer fuck you also. I got really fucking sick before Florida, so
Sorry wasn't sore loser shit
But you got my $35 for the ticket. So you're welcome
Well, I'm sorry you weren't there copy doctor. We wish you were in fact between him and Nate
Oh those empty seats you were taking photos. I would
Promise no storms and illnesses. That's really what happened here. That's the story and I'm sticking with it
Man or man, I'm glad you're here Cardiff. This is a message for you from Man or Matt.
Oh, what's up, man? It's Man or Matt. Listen, I'll make this quick. I'll try. This goes out to
Cardiff and maybe Paco might want to listen up. Listen, listen to B. Dablin and Cardiff, man.
Dude, go easy on Caillou that poor Spanish kids got cancer you prick
He's like a week away from becoming a make-a-wish kid and you're calling him the F flirt good Lord potato
Be better be more open be diverse
Also take to the work
What do you think about that Cardiff fuck Caillou?
dies horribly
Fair enough. All right last voicemail.
Hey, Carl. John from West
Virginia again. Um. Oh, and
this is on the show yesterday.
I was talking about what it
means to be successful. And I
was pointing out that Mitch
Hedberg interview. Mm. Where he
said to me, it's about never
setting an alarm clock and
dressing however you want. And
I went, hey, that's that's my life
So I'm gonna pretend that you're right about that bitch. Yeah
Hey Carl, John from West Virginia again
So I guess you wanted to wear the cow bikini
Okay, all right good to know
Don't call me back. All right, so maybe I'm not totally successful. It looks like a cow
I still have to do a show with fucking Vinnie Paulino
once a week
But check out the creep off. It's a lot of fun. We call Stevie tomatoes the past episode
Also on the past episode of the creep off if you haven't seen it
The guy who got kicked out of our show called it. Yeah, or we called him or whatever, but I got to talk to
Spruce II who was blackout drunk and immediately went to reddit to say that I'm an asshole
But we figured it out. We're boys again. He's gonna be in Vegas
Boy stuff and you know what good results girl, too. There's no booze in Vegas
Very well, I hope he uses promo code to key to save someone in that ticket Yeah, no problem. I'm sure that'll work out very well
I hope he uses promo code to key to save someone in that ticket well 18 hours of drinking is pretty impressive
Oh my gosh sounds like a wager to me. He drank for 18 hours straight. Yeah
That's it stops being fun after 12 and a half
Just don't stop I think it stops being fun when you get kicked out of the show. Yeah
When when straight kid stuff is playing and you're just going
Man that was a good episode. I was a good episode. I enjoyed that.
Yes, thank you for tuning in.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
And my guest today, Andy.
Yeah, Carl.
I love you.
Bye. A plane has hit. I rewatch it, Carly. Boom. Carl I love you
A plane is hit I rewatch I Carly
Okay, guess what
I wonder what I rewatch I Carly is talking about with the Dan Snyder stuff. They must be all over that shit I have to revisit that
And there's two women's who's opinion I need on that
I know
Alright let's do it
9-eleven jokes
and
hehehehe Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr That was a great episode! That was really great! I gotta go. Goodbye. Goodbye.
I don't know.
Who gives a shit?
Why am I even still doing this?
I'm out of here.
Jesus, I gotta go.
This is getting stupid.
Bye, guys.
This is it.
It's over.
Okay?
Goodbye.
Hey, bye.
Goodbye.
Hey, bye.
Goodbye.
This entire evening has been nothing but a pageant of insipid nonsense.
Worshipping at the altar of your own mediocre frivolity.
A jester's hollow dance.
And who is laughing?
What is that?
That was for you.
That's Doug Jones from What We Do in the Shadows.