Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep509 - Brilliant Idiots
Episode Date: April 14, 2024Andrew Schulz and Charlamagne tha God seem like an unlikely duo and then you listen to how they work with each other. Wow, the chemistry is non-existent. These two guys seem like they just met and the...y really want to impress each other. And boy oh boy does Andrew think Andrew is funny! Doug from Good Times Great Movies joins us to try to figure out what words Charlamagne is trying to use. Then Bobby Lee is dumb and Opie has a hot take about record stores. After that we got a tip that our old nemesis Marissa Jones from the Vanished podcast was arrested for drunk driving and then decided to complain about it on a podcast called The Peripheral. She acts like she’s a victim and it’s crazy! Also, Legion of Skanks makes Bert Kreischer watch the Crack Amico diss track and they get his immediate reaction, Paddy Pukewater has takes on Bad Bunny and Katt Williams, and Stuttering John lists his friends to prove to me that he isn’t a lonely loser at this stage of his life. Then we wrap things up with another round of To Catch An Alien, Internet News, and your voicemails. Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st – June 2nd – https://www.hackamania.com/ use promo code WATP for 20% off https://goodtimesgreatmovies.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@cardiffelectric Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I'm your host, Carl, with me today. A man who has seen more 80s movies than Harvey Weinstein and seen crying women from Good Times Great Movies. It's Doug!
It's only two more 80s movies than Crying Women. More, more definitely.
Barely more.
Welcome back to the show, Doug. It's been a bit good to see you. Can I just say one thing real quick? I did I didn't pull clips
I apologize if this is a bad show everyone should come at me and not you but also that'll happen great
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course the research. I did do Carl. This is my 20th time on your show. Is that all?
That's all that I mean, I thought that was a lot actually
Or I think it's about 4% of your show, which I thought was quite a bit. Yes. Hey, congratulations
I saw I was very excited about that
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Also, tickets on sale at Hackamania.com. Use the promo code
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much fun. There's so much to do in Vegas. We have the comedy show Friday night. We
have all the podcasts on Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, Sunday free
for all. We'll be hanging out. I'm the favorite. I know. I am really looking forward to this Vegas trip and it's gonna be a great time of year to be in Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, went there in late July and it's weird. Your body doesn't know how to react to going from 115 degrees into 68.
I wearing the same clothes.
I went to December for my birthday.
That's right.
It's fucking cold.
I know cause I looked it up one time.
One time I was thinking we should do that for New Year's.
And then it's like 30 degrees at night.
I'm like, well, yeah, I don't need that.
Helping anyone.
Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five star review on Apple Podcasts and
show all of us in the comment section today. We'll be reviewing a podcast called Brilliant
Idiots. We have both listened separately. We've not discussed it with each other beforehand.
Let's get into it. This is a show hosted by Andrew Schultz and Charlemagne the God.
And so this is one of those big shows big audience big set I think I
counted maybe five people in the actual room they're recording it there's the
two hosts and then there's I think three producers yeah cuz there's not enough
noise going on and no they need a lot more things going on so they're all
producers I didn't I mean I guess that's what you call people that just sit around and yell random shit
Joe Rogan for some reason started the precedent that you have to have a guy who just Google stuff
So there's a guy that just yell out questions to and then that person googles or maybe that's the Geralt Taylor
It is it is the amount of times the guy said goo goo instead of Google
Maybe not crazy everything is goo goo dat
Goo goo dat goo goo dat the whole time and they're just finding things that are not interesting and playing
Other shows and other content on their show, which I understand
YouTube has an issue with except in the case of this show.
Well, the way they do it, it's really obnoxious. I'll get into that.
And uh, Charlamagne the God for as famous as he is,
he has the morning show on Sirius. He's been on the radio forever.
He started his own radio company. He can't talk real good.
It's crazy to me. How much you butcher is the English language.
But the first thing I want to point out, the thing I picked up on is Andrew Schultz is
just over the top having way too much fun.
More fun than anything they're saying or doing merits in any single way.
And I played on the last episode, we did our teaser, and I played the very beginning of
the episode where it highlights one of those times
Well, this is actually in the episode. This is how it happens
organically and so Charlemagne they're talking to Taylor the woman who's there to Google stuff and Charlemagne makes a comment and
Andrew Schultz
Loses his mind over it. I'm trying to say the trailer
loses his mind over it.
I'm trying to say the trailer.
I was on the trailer. Yeah, Google the trailer for dry.
Is that an example you're talking about?
Yeah, Google.
Yeah, just Google that.
Okay, we'll talk pretty quickly.
All right.
I'm trying to say the trailer.
I was on the trailer.
Yeah, Google the trailer for dry.
You look diesel as shit.
You look like you're wearing that shit Drake wearing on sick.
You know what I'm saying?
I never seen that.
What?
No.
You don't think so?
I was above you.
Charlamagne got no
control of
what's everything above the neck.
He cannot control.
Below the neck maybe, but this shit right here.
He looked at you, he saw a certain angle.
Hey, you look fucked today, Diller!
His autism just slipped right out.
Diller, you look fucked today!
Hey, what are you dead? Tell her don't let that she
wants you got that shirt
drinking me when on stage.
The next time anyone criticizes
this show for laughing at
ourselves, I'm just going to
pull that clip out and go
nobody laughs at themselves
more than Andrew Schultz.
Holy shit.
I'm trying to think of the
funniest thing I've ever
heard in my life.
I was thinking the same thing.
Because was there ever like an
open Anthony bit or Howard Stern thing where I was laughing that hard?
I can't imagine.
And Carl, the thing is, you played just a segment of this.
It goes on for, I clocked it, three and a half minutes.
They're laughing about this.
My next clip is called It's Still Going.
It's still fucking going also
the other thing I want to point out for people who are watching the show I want
you to look at Andrew's posture because it bugs the fuck out of me I don't like
the chairs they have it's a nice set but those chairs don't look comfortable to
sit in and broadcast from like sit up.
Why is everyone trying to slouch and do a show?
Oh, I can think of his Richard Dreyfuss.
Yeah.
And when you say it's a nice set,
it looks like the room you would wander in at the beginning of the haunted mansion ride at Disney world. It's very bizarre.
It looks so fake. It's very fake. It looks so fake It's very fake
I thought you're gonna say it looks like the first room you walk into when you're watching Ghostbusters because it's like they're in a library
for some reason
Not really sure why but the window has I don't even know what's outside that window That makes sense, actually. Okay. He said, he said, Taylor, you look...
Bob is great.
He's like, mid-sense.
He was talking about Pulitzer's.
Jirard's peak is sucked or something.
Look at you.
I'm about to suck you get all in my face.
I'm about to suck you get all in my face.
I'm about to suck you get all in my face.
I'm about to suck you get all in my face.
I'm about to suck you get all in my face. I'm about to suck you get all in my face. It was like mid-set. So crazy. You was talking about Pulitzer's.
Jaraad, speak and suck to something.
Look at you.
I'm about to suck she get all her muscles in a week.
Damn, Taylor, you look buff.
I think he really wants Charlemagne to like him.
Because why would you laugh so hard at someone?
Unless you really wanted them to be your friend.
Really bad.
It's weird.
Yeah.
It's uncomfortable.
Read the room.
He's not reacting.
Well, yeah, he's not really reacting.
The other producers are like, okay, ha ha.
You know, like, well, yeah, all right.
And he just keeps going on and on about it.
And you, by the way, I want to point out
if people are listening to this, they never show Taylor.
So if there's some visual gag, we're not
seeing it. We don't know what the fuck is happening here to make this so funny. If it
is funny, which I doubt I can't imagine that it is. Dude's a spaz kid. He really is. He's
freaking out. Okay. At the beginning of this episode, this is a recent episode, there's
a very fake conversation that they're having because Andrew Schultz just sold out the forum. It holds 17,000 or 18,000 people
Out in LA. Very impressive. He's doing stand-up comedy
Sells out in the arena. So this is something that you guys could have a conversation about like wow, you just played the forum
That's pretty cool. But instead they just make it super superficial. You did the forum this weekend. Forum was crazy.
How did it feel?
Crazy, amazing.
Thank you so much everybody came out.
That was awesome.
How did it feel?
I didn't feel anything until I drove up and I saw it in the distance.
And the forum, like when you look at Madison Square Garden
or you look at a lot of arenas that are in a city,
they're all blocked by other massive buildings.
But the forum is, it looks like the fucking Roman Colosseum.
It has the columns and the red behind it
and then it's this massive parking lot around it
so it's the only structure in a five mile radius.
Probably not true. And that was kind of profound.
I'm not going to lie.
That's what Magic One rings.
And that's what Kareem One rings.
Yeah.
Magic was probably in the showers taking beautiful women
down in the eighties.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but I just did a comedy.
I thought we were talking about my comedy show. Now, we're going to talk about
magic and cream winning basketball games and fucking
girls. Alright, now we can let's go that direction with it.
Charlotte. That's fine. 80s. Yeah. I'm just saying, man. I
had to feel you had to feel something. Well, they did a
renovation since then. Oh, they did? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did they sanitize the place?
That's what they did. I don't even think they renovated it. I think they just did Purell.
The giggling is crazy. I just don't, I don't understand how this is content. Like these guys
just talk about anything and everything. The takes are the coldest takes I've ever heard
on a show before, but I also feel like this is what people listen to, right? Like when
I just talk to random idiots and they say they listen to podcasts, I get a sense that
it is just this. It's people just talking about anything that's in the news, finding random headlines to just comment on and
not like they know nothing about any of the topics that they discuss but
nothing's off the table. They'll gladly take five ten minutes and talk about
women's basketball when they clearly don't understand the game, the NCAA or
how any of this works.
The, uh, the basketball talk, I'm,
we have a whole package on that because these people have no idea what they're
talking about.
And actually I got to give Andrew Schultz credit in that segment because you
could tell he had a lot of things he wanted to say and just decided like,
I'm going to get out of the way.
Charlotte May is going to make some points over here,
but before we get into that, can I, I sorry can I jump in with just one thing?
Cuz I want people to understand what this show is because
Like you put in notes or a description of your show, right? Everybody normally does sure
I want to read you a description of one of their shows that is up an Apple podcast
Okay in this episode Charlemagne the God and Andrew Schultz
discuss varieties of topics including gun ownership, the appreciation of studs,
live comedy special, Jake Paul's boxing match on Netflix with Mike Tyson, Mike
Tyson's invincibility, Dre and Michelle's pregnancy and age and attraction. They
discuss potential regulations and legislation around social media
including the need for licensing and accountability for content creator. Also the dangers of AI
generated misinformation and fake news are discussed as well as the
vulnerability of older generations to scams and manipulation techniques. The
importance of building a brand for business is emphasized along with the
potential impact of third- party candidates in elections.
This is bananas. Why? Why?
You were asking what all these producers are doing.
Three of them are writing the show descriptions, obviously.
That's a lot.
Then they put time stamps in for everything.
Licensing and accountability for content creators.
43 seconds on that topic.
Oh, check this out.
Vulnerability of older generations Fox News.
One minute, 57 seconds, and the desire for third party candidates in politics, which
I assume people could discuss for hours. They spend 58 seconds on it. Way to belabor the
point. It's amazing because the most recent episode I saw, I was looking through the list
of topics and one of them is the Joker 2 trailer and I went
Oh, what's their what is their take on that? Check this out. This is the entire segment Joker 2 trailer
Man is joker 2 trailer look crazy. Talk to me now
I just look dope Joe Queen Phoenix back at the Joker Lady Gaga playing Harley Quinn. I fucks with that
What else we got?
Joe Queen Phoenix is back as the Joker.
That's incredible. Wow. Good stuff, guys. I'm glad you included that. And like you said, it's in the rundown and there is a link to it in the description if you want to go right to just joker 2 trailer. There it is.
the description if you want to go right to just joke into your trailer. There it is.
And you can watch what we just saw. It's crazy. So I mentioned before, Charlotte, let me in the garden. Radio professional should be able to pronounce words correctly. Should know it's
Joaquin Phoenix. Probably a guy's been famous for a minute. And listen to this. Yeah. I decided to
just evasquerate, is that the word?
Evasserate?
Eviscerate.
Eviscerate.
I like evasquerate.
Evasquerate.
I evasquerate it, bro.
You know, I, hey, three times New York Times best selling
author right here.
I just let everybody.
I've never planned to be able to pronounce nothing.
You've evas, you evascerate, why do you keep doing that
to me?
Why do you keep doing this word I can't pronounce to me?
What is that posture?
What's he doing?
I don't know.
Yes, and thing is ridiculous too.
I actually like it when you mispronounce the word.
I think that's even funnier.
Do you?
But you're right, that posture is uncomfortable.
It is.
And really strange.
Like this setting is not working for them. I don't't know put him behind a table or something like that put him on a stool
so we can't roll all over the fucking place it's too comfortable think it's
the problem all right so they're talking about the set that he did at the forum
and he brought jokes that were just for the LA crowd. And so they're going to actually play the joke.
Now I've never seen this before.
I've never seen a comedian watching his own performance on
his show, but that's what we're, uh,
we're going to see because they want to tell Taylor about this one joke, uh,
that was at Meek Mill's expense. Play the joke, Taylor. This
is a perfectly executed cultural hip hop joke. Where is the joke at? Oh my God, Taylor.
Greatest producer in all of podcasting. Go to his show. Greatest producer in all of podcasting.
If there's one thing Taylor's going to do podcasting Taylor is gonna keep you humble
see Diddy's house right there see why is it funny that she wasn't prepared with the clip who's enjoying that definitely Andrew yeah well yes and enjoys everything yes he was applauding it
too much they're having a great time yeah they love what they do and I just don't understand why anyone else would I
I've said it before on this show. I'll say it again
I'll never forget the compliment the ice it up Scott and we played at Darien Lake the director of the amusement park
Sent us a thank-you card that said it looked like you guys are having a lot of fun up there
fun up there. We enjoyed it. It's the bottom of the barrel.
The music was good. I would have taken great mix. I would have accepted that. You guys
look like you're having a lot of fun up there. Thanks, Adam.
Managing outfits. I appreciate it. All right, so this is embarrassing. This might be cringe
of the week level because not only is Andrew Schultz watching his standup show, but he's
laughing at the punchlines.
Oh, he's cracking up the jokes that he just delivered this
past weekend.
You break down the door. He's butt naked on the couch.
Meek Mill sitting on his lap.
Meek Mill crying, oh no wait a minute, I thought you was finished.
It's like can't stop, won't stop.
You try to run out, you run out, the door is locked.
You turn around, all of a sudden you hear.
You ain't going nowhere.
You ain't going nowhere. I can't be stopped now
It's your asshole tonight
Jesus Christ man
God damn
If there was a nuclear weapon
in the form of a joke
Stop it
God damn man
What just happened? Have you ever seen anything like that before?
I would be embarrassed
Oh yeah, I put up on my Instagram Check it out. I got some cool highlights from the show. It was great
Everyone really enjoyed it. It's just like yeah play that joke and
No one enjoys Andy more than Andrew that's for sure
If this were one of those shows and we've covered them before
Where they have to hit an hour for advertising and then they're like, well, you know what we put in our hour.
This would make sense, but they go for like two hours.
I listened, I started to listen to an episode where they read a children's book.
They just read it.
That's how the episode started.
They read a children's book for five minutes, thought it was the most amazing thing they've
ever read.
Was it a book about pronouns?
Or are you watching queer kid stuff?
Or you confused?
It was pretty bad, and it was pretty lame.
And they were nearly in tears, because that one,
the white douchebag, like he just had a kid.
So that was what that episode was all about,
is how great it is to be a dad.
And he made his three week old smile,
and it was the greatest
thing in his entire life.
Fuck your kid.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Well, we're not done with praising the stand up performance and this amazing joke that
he told the previous weekend.
I mean, it's just a phenomenal joke.
It's one of those jokes, even if you're the main victim of the joke
You gotta give it up, it's comedy
It's a comedy, man
You gotta chuckle
Great fucking joke
Poor Meek man
Yo, you keep praying for Meek
What about Shohei Otani?
I don't even know who the fuck that was
So that's why this is
So this is deep cut So he goes, what about about the show Otani joke that I did after that and
Charlamagne the God says I don't know who that is. Otani is the greatest baseball player in five
generations. He's comparatively possibly better than Babe Ruth. He's the only baseball player
I've ever seen in my life
who's the best pitcher and the best hitter. It doesn't happen. And Carl, if he had said that,
that would be hilarious, but it's like he doesn't want to offend his friends, so he says that's a
deep cut. I can't think of a cut that is less deep than that. My wife has never watched a
pitch of baseball before. She's like, do you hear about that Japanese guy who was betting on the game?
Well, how did you know? Because his translator bet like 700 million dollars
of some crazy amount of money. Yeah. And so now they're trying to figure out,
well, did Otani, is he the one who's gambling? Is it this guy? So it's all in the news. And
that's what the joke was about and Charlemagne goes,
yeah, I don't know anything
about that. He's like, well,
it's a deep cut. You know, it's
just for the LA people. What?
What are you talking about?
That's ridiculous. But then he
explains that he had another
joke about Otani but he didn't
put it in the clip that we saw.
I cut it. I cut it on the clip
but I had another one because I
kind of **** it up but they they call him the Japanese Babe Ruth and or as I call him the great bamboo stick.
Fucking terrorists. This is a terrorist right here man. But once again,
Andrew Schultz is out hip-hopping all the black comedians.
I have to say I've seen Andrew Schultz's Netflix thing that he did, and a bunch of stuff that he's done I've enjoyed.
I thought he was a funny guy, but he's convincing me otherwise now.
Yeah, I think where all the laughter's coming from, they don't really care for each other that much.
But they really love themselves.
It doesn't seem real.
At all.
No, it doesn't seem real, And his uncomfortable name. It's like
a child with ADHD who just can't sit still. Like, if you're on
video, if your entire show's video, he's scratching his own
back at points, he's constantly shifting. It's like he's just
waiting to get out of there. So podcast cringe is a YouTube
channel that does a great job of breaking down these various shows and what's happening between the big players and podcasting.
And Andrew Schultz was recently on the Joe Rogan Experience.
And Podcast Cringe was going through the comments now that Joe Rogan is back on YouTube and the comments section is now up and running again for the show.
Check this out. Or Schultz is officially a clown. The comment section on YouTube was
absolutely wild. I've never seen so much negativity towards a JRE
guest compared to this. Here are just a few to give you an idea of
what I'm talking about. Wow. The comments are so negative. I
thought that Bert was on three minutes in and he's already had
two fake Schultz epiphanies.
He tries to pretend to be interested and have deep insights like he read, how to win friends
and influence people for dummies.
That's actually a really good call. That whole ass kicking like we're talking about with
Jarla is just like, you don't know who Tani is? Like that's a perfect time to bust someone's
balls. Yes. The guy's wearing a shirt of an NCAA women's basketball player and he
doesn't know who O'Donoghue is. If he has a really good time to bust someone's balls,
then he's just like, God, don't worry about it, man. No one does that. That's what I kind of
thought. I was like, Oh, well, maybe this guy just doesn't watch sports. No, he goes
on and on about the NCAA tournament and basketball.
Oh, this is a perfect comment right here.
Yeah. Nobody gives it up for Andrew like Andrew.
Correct.
What should say a bunch of nothing
while trying to sound intelligent?
Damn, the internet really flipped on this guy.
Jamie, pull up the documentary Andrew made
about how successful he is
where he cries about his achievements.
Andrew is the exact type of guy
that thinks comedians are modern day philosophers.
Just coming here for the comments, roasting both Andrew's haircut and enormous ego.
And you know, that reminds me, I remember we played a clip, I think it was on Who Are
These Socials? Blind Mike and I were playing this clip where he brought his dad to Madison
Square Garden the night before he had sold it out to be like, can you believe it dad,
here we are. And they're like standing center court. And it's like, what kind of self congratulating video
is this?
Don't put that out there.
Do that privately.
Yeah, do it privately.
That's totally fine.
It's a moment.
I guess his dad is Alzheimer's
and doesn't remember stuff or whatever.
So there was like a deeper meaning,
but I'm just watching it going, what a douche.
What a fucking douche nozzle.
Plus you can just tell your dad,
you don't even have to do it and be like,
remember that dad, if he's got Alzheimer's, whatever Whatever you don't have to go to the arena. Yeah. Yeah, in fact you could make up more impressive shit
Yeah, and that bizarre I love the fact that somebody talked about his bizarre alt-right haircut and like villain of the Rocketeer mustache
Now that's a deep hole
Andrew's mustache isn't allowed within 500 feet of the school.
That's actually the top comment. Guess why him make me appreciate the comment section
being back. I could honestly fill a whole video just reading the comments
from this episode and I wouldn't even scratch the surface.
That's him posing for a photo. Should I put my hand on my balls?
Or just one
testicle? I'll just do the one testicle. I like the pinch roll. Isn't that what that's called?
Yeah. Good stuff. Alright. So then they start talking about crazy game shows in
Japan and apparently there's this show in Japan or so they say where the
contestants have to sing karaoke while getting jerked off by a chick and you had to try to get through the song
Before you busted that okay
All right, so that's the that's the setup for this nice clip. Just it was just a regular Japanese
They run a lot of Japanese programming
Game shows are nuts in Japan, but they got the nerve to talk about Western civilization
How bad we are and they banning our shit from tick tock over there? That's China, this in Japan. But they got the nerve to talk about Western civilization and how bad we are. And they banned an all shit from TikTok over there.
That's China. This is Japan. Oh, Japan says, wow. No, I'm not gonna lie.
Charlo being the guy doesn't know the difference between Japan and China.
That's fucking nuts, right?
He doesn't know the difference. Also before this,
the guy first started talking about there was a
game show he was watching where a gay porn star had to suck the dick of a
straight guy and try and get him to completion right and then after this
entire conversation Charlamagne's like I'm pretty sure it's illegal to be gay
in Japan for some out of nowhere and I'm like no that was on it was apparently a
game show that was on TV
I don't think it's illegal. Yeah, that was hilarious because everyone, the producers, Schultz, everyone was just like yeah, I'm not sure
No one wanted to be like, what? You fucking stupid asshole!
I'll see myself out
I'll see myself out. Alright, so because they're talking about
Japanese and
genitalia, of course we have to go into
the porn in Japan.
They blur private parts in there.
They did blur it. They did blur it.
Little blurs?
Alright, so Charlemagne just made
a small penis joke.
Little boys. It's a joke.
It went right over Sholtan because
listen to how he responses.
Hey, cap it in there, Blur. Blur up the year. Come on, Japan.
I also love the thing. I've seen this happen many times where people have to act dumb.
They're like, I've read somewhere that they have to blur out the genitalia in Japan.
I don't know, like someone told me that or something.
Is that true?
I don't know.
It's like, you know exactly why you know that.
Shut the fuck up.
We all know it.
We all know it.
We all know why we know it.
Stop it with that shit.
Because what happens is you go, oh, that chick's hiding.
You go, ah.
We all know how we know that.
So you were talking before, Doug, when we were setting this this up about how they go and they play clips of other shows or they
play other shows, but they do it in an odd manner. I did not doctor this in any single way.
They're talking about John Stewart had a take on The Daily Show about this picture that Donald Trump put out on Truth Social and
about this picture that Donald Trump put out on Truth Social.
And they say like, oh, let's listen to Jon Stewart's take. I want to hear what you think about this.
Like that's literally how they set this up.
I want you to hear this show.
So I want you to tell me what you think
about what Jon Stewart said.
What you think about what Jon Stewart said.
What you think about what Jon Stewart said.
What you think about what Jon Stewart said. We are a ridiculous society, man.
I don't know.
I really, I think the scales are broken.
So what's going on there?
So they're obviously
Fearful of playing the audio. They don't like Comedy Central to take it down or something. It's a YouTube copyright thing What's going on? I am so glad this is what's happening when it's visual because I don't consume my podcast that way
I listen to this in the car. Okay, you could hear the entire audio
You know if you're just listening to it
you could hear the entire audio, you know, if you're just listening to it on Apple. So you have to do this for YouTube.
Yeah. So that's why I was like, wait, how are they playing these on their YouTube channel?
But why are they not like, why did they include this?
Just cut this out.
Well, the vast majority of people are watching this on YouTube. Hundreds of thousands of people
watch this on YouTube. And the whole thing was I want you to hear this and then tell me what your
take is on what Jon Stewart's saying saying and then you can't hear it John
Stewart said and they sit there in silence yeah well they sped it up so
they're just they're like listening to it and then they're a little bit you
didn't do that I you do that no my god okay that's what this show is this
happens multiple times when they put things on that they don't own the rights
to and I mean the whole
YouTube copyright thing is very frustrating for a lot of YouTubers. Joe
Rogan's feeling the pain again as he's back and he was like Jesus what the
fuck what can we do but there is fair use. They should be able to play a clip
of Jon Stewart on their show and react to it. But that's the thing that they
don't do which is they don't do interesting reactions to these things.
They'll play entire two, three minute long clips of TV shows and trailers for movies,
and then they have nothing to say about it during or after.
Because they're not prepared. Because they haven't prepped any of this stuff.
They just show up and, yeah yeah there's something going on with
John Stewart. Let's watch it. Okay. This is not a show. Alright so let's get into, we've teased it,
I know everyone's excited to hear about Sharla's take on the NCAA women's basketball tournament
and I just want to ask, I'm going to ask you Doug yeah did you watch
any of the women's basketball games I
did not know okay see how quickly he
answered that he knew he hadn't seen it
anyone I didn't watch any of it watch
Andrew Schultz as the wheels turn he
tries to figure out how we supposed to
answer this question did you watch any
other women's college basketball games games. Shultz. Nope. I think in his mind he's thinking, like I said, he's Charlemagne the
God is wearing a shirt with a basketball. Am I going to be in trouble? So he's thinking
like, oh shit, I probably should be watching that for my black friend. But then he said, would anybody quiz me? So I can't say I did. I want to say yes, but then he'll ask me questions that I won't have answers for.
Tom, did you go to that party the other night? Yeah, there was a buzzer beater.
I didn't see you there. Yeah, I mean, I was in black face.
Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll talk later.
All right, so this is crazy.
The takes on here are ridiculous.
I told you three years ago, maybe it was last year.
I think it was last year.
I told you last year during the Final Four
that women's college basketball is absolutely, positively
one of the best things going today.
No, you called it.
I wanna go on the record right now
and say that I believe women's college basketball
is more exciting than the NBA.
Bullshit!
That's retarded.
Oh, sorry.
I already had that covered.
So there's this thing that's happening right now.
There's this cultural phenomenon
where everyone has to say women's basketball college basketball is amazing
and compelling and entertaining and we're all glued to it. I'm
sure you fill out a couple of different brackets for the
women's tournament. Doug, I hope you want some money this
year. No.
But to say it's more exciting than the NBA, layups are not more exciting than alley-oops.
None of those players would agree with you.
No, no!
It's the dumbest thing ever!
And I don't even like the NBA, there's no defense, it's not a great product, but it's
a billion times better than women's college basketball.
Did you get into his one reason?
This is the clip. I think the tournament
aspect of it where you're one and done adds a different level of urgency. Yeah, it's exciting.
You know, for sure it's exciting. That's the word exciting. It's just more exciting.
Fake excitement. I know this guy was jumping up and down when he made a joke about the producer being buff, right?
And then they're like, what about women's basketball? She's like, yeah, no, it's great. It's got nothing to do with me
Yeah, can we get back to me?
The clipper he said you called it and he's picking at his own fingernails while he's saying it is really great
And I I just want to point this out because his own fingernails while he's the tournament. I'm like, why these losers like, wow, that's crazy. Now, they're out of the
tournament but I have to say
this and I am not trying to
have any um exaggeration here.
This isn't hyperbole. Okay. If
the team that won at South
Carolina, I think won the
women's basketball tournament.
They played against Iowa in the
finals. If they went up against Yukon the men's team that won it would be a shutout
I'm not joking those rods are that good the fight
Final score would be one 20 to zero
There's no way they would get a shot off
I can't smell and we have to all sit here and add ladies women are so good at basketball
It's all blue. Kayla Clark, she's so good at basketball.
The thing that I have a problem with is if you enjoy it, if you enjoy the tournament,
if you enjoy women's basketball, that's totally fine.
But you don't need to compare it to the NBA.
Just be like, I watched it, I enjoyed it, it was entertaining, it was fine.
You don't have to say like women's college basketball is better than the NBA because I can name four players
I think there are over
5,000 players at the D1 level sure in women's basketball
I don't understand how that makes it better
And I think that's why I'm annoyed with this narrative that we have because if you just said it's entertaining
They're putting a good product. It's competitive
Okay, but they have to act like it's the greatest thing anyone's ever seen
It's the same thing when the fucking Women's World Cup comes around soccer. Never nice act like fucking women playing soccer is exciting
Yeah, I would say for any soccer anyway anybody that flips their lid over MLS and
they're just like, this is better than basketball and baseball. And did you see the attendance
for that? No, no, no, stop. Just say you like a dumb sport. It's okay. I'm actually a soccer
fan. I'm talking about you. Yeah. But no, Jermaine is all in you see i'm sitting here rocking my uh
so much malaysia for a while he shirt who's that malaysia for a while he who's that she's a
freshman at the university of south carolina she's an 18 year old girl plays basketball in
south carolina you didn't know that this guy didn't know who Donny was. It's fucking unbelievable.
South Carolina, baller, future star.
Don Staley says she's a generational talent.
Well, then it must be true.
Pretty good stuff.
Do Staley's sister said that?
All right, so now they're watching
a post-game press conference with these collegiate athletes.
And I think at this point, Andrew just cannot take it anymore.
Because they're watching this and Charlemagne is like really into it.
And watch how Andrew just- He's sliding out of his chair.
But watch Andrew's reaction after he's like, trying to take this seriously.
You believe in yourself.
The leap that I took from my freshman to sophomore year angel gave me that confidence to go be a dog
playing this to a dog every day and
You know just to see how to media ridicule
And I'm so proud of her life
So this woman's just going, I have the media is calling
her my teammate out, but she's so great. She made me create. What are we doing?
This is absolutely fascinating. Carl, I, next time I come on, please you watch
and I will listen because they cut that out. They played, they played the press
conference. They didn't include him laughing or him telling me to shut up
It's not in there at all
Because I was waiting while I was listening to this going what are they gonna do? How are they gonna react?
Well, this is all new to me. That's hilarious
I'm so glad that we got to check out the two different products that are out there
Because yeah, and you can see it on his face too where he's just like I can't take this anymore
They played so much in his press conference too,
and it's like, whatever!
And then, so I guess the controversy here,
because the one woman, I forget her name,
but the one woman is just like, people are sexualizing me
and they're criticizing me and that's my personal life.
And so these guys have a brilliant solution.
Our boy, Sharla, comes up with a great solution for this.
These motherfuckers are asking you questions
about your personal life on that motherfucking stage.
Man, you know what every team needs?
They need a professional suck my dick representative.
So you need a person on the stage that's like a PR,
but their job is to strictly say, suck
my dick.
When you get asked a question that you don't want to motherfucking be asked that don't got
nothing to do with what we're doing.
If I'm here to talk about basketball and you ask me some other shit, how do you feel about
these alleged nudes of yours really can?
I got this one.
Suck my dick.
That's it.
That's all you gotta say.
Suck my dick.
Boom. Hot take. I liked it he goes, aw that's fire.
That's that wa- hey hey, Shia Lowe, you're adding stuff in there. That's fire.
Good stuff.
This is an awkward show. I describe this show as awkward.
What? This- it's very bizarre these two. They have a weird working relationship.
It would appear to me.
I mean, I just thought it was a bunch of nonsense, now that I'm watching them it makes it so much more awkward.
Yes, yeah because the posture like I said yeah they don't look comfortable I don't
feel comfortable watching it like I shouldn't be. I like how the library's
scene kind of contrasts how stupid they are. Yes, so they're called the name of
the show is Brilliant Idiots and I think that's one of the things that Andrew Schultz
thinks he has all these hot takes
and is this modern day philosopher.
So at the end of every show, they look at the chat
and the chat asks them questions
and they answer the questions.
So here's an example of an ask an idiot.
Let's do this one last question, man.
Classic Grant, this is a great way to end the podcast.
How do you guys think the world would end?
Natural disasters.
I don't know if he's asking us
which natural disaster would end it
or how do we think things are gonna end, period.
I mean, based off today, I think that Taylor balls up
her fist and slams on the ground
and the earth splits in half. Like fucking hell, yeah? That's what I think's Taylor balls up her fist and slams on the ground and the earth splits in half like fucking
It's got you laughing over there Andrew
He couldn't wait for that call back
Remember when we were all cracking up laughing at that thing earlier. No, that was just you
It's still not funny, but thank you for that. Good stuff.
Cracking up would be acceptable. He was losing his fucking mind over it.
He was running around. Yeah. He was literally running around.
I can't imagine if you said something, you've got some zingers over the years.
I mean, I've definitely enjoyed some of your commentary.
Could you imagine if I got up under my chair and repeating it?
Drove over the pool table
Running in circles
Fucking crazy
Repeating it three minutes later as though this is still going on and worth it
That doesn't happen organically
No, these guys are trying real hard
One more clip I have on here
This is from the most recent episode that just came out
And I guess
Mill, I'm sorry. Yeah this this same episode. I'm shocked. You didn't pull this Maybe you skipped it or something like that at one point never criticized the host of the show
I can't believe you fucked up
There is it there's a point and I think it're breaking up Doug.
There is a point, and I think it was this episode, maybe it was another one I listened
to, they're having a debate about whether rabbits lay eggs or not.
Jesus Christ.
And half the people there, I think, legitimately thought rabbits laid eggs.
And if they're doing it as a joke, it falls completely flat.
Right. Because they're doing it as a joke it falls completely flat
Yeah, if they actually think that nobody should ever watch this show ever again
Yeah, but isn't that the the charm that like the Brendan Schaub's and the crystal is that they go for there's like Can you believe how dumb I am like some people pull it off the Yvonne, but most people just like yes
I can't believe how dumb you are. It's annoying stop it. Yeah
None of it was convincing, but also
I'm thinking are they just are they just fucking around like you can't get to that point in your life
These guys are about 40 years old yeah, and think that rabbits lay a rabbits. Don't lay eggs, right? I don't think
It's don't lay eggs, right? I don't think
So Meek mills been talked about a lot lately because the diddy stuff that's been going around
He's not too happy about people thinking that him and did he were having gay sex
but it didn't stop him from going to WrestleMania and
So these guys are to respond to a tweet that
Meek Mill put out and I have no idea what they're talking about. They're not good with explaining the context of anything
You see big
Meek Mill
Come on. Let's talk about it
Which one is this I leave'll leave Meek alone.
I just wanted to, this is a learning lesson.
I don't care about the resolution.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! lesson also known as a lesson. A warning lesson. But I just want to point out so we're watching
this and you heard that really quick audio sample go in and they lost their minds. We don't see
anything. Right. But they're going to show it now in a minute so maybe that'll help.
Let me tell you something about life man. There are certain people who just need curb your enthusiasm style shows
make a turn the goddamn camera on and follow them around and let's be
entertained what does he think curb your enthusiasm is a documentary
he just described a docu-series yeah you know like curb your enthusiasm
I was really going to go to prison at the end of that
I always get curb your enthusiasm and that honey boo-boo show confused
Yeah, I think it's Jeff Garland that you're confusing the two
Meek is one
Meek at WrestleMania and the rock is unconscious, right?
You got to say, get up!
Get out of the way!
You can knock rock out.
Get up, rock yourself, into it.
Get up!
To me, my fucking mill.
How did rock not break character?
How did he not chuckle?
Have these idiots never seen wrestling before
It would appear that way the audience yells things out like get up
Yeah, all the time and they're like, can you believe this? This guy's yelling at the pro wrestlers in front of them. Yeah
That's what the audience does normally. It's just silent with polite applause
Well done
applause. Well done. But why are they losing their minds? I don't know. This is the greatest thing ever to happen in
wrestling, in sports, in I don't like I don't understand.
That's what I was trying to figure out this whole time.
Yeah. Trying to figure out what are we all excited about but
it's one of these things and I think there's a lot of shows
like this. They tend to be Westco shows and they just have like a lot of noises and
bright colors. There's a lot of stuff on the walls behind the people.
They move around a lot. They move their hands up, they get loud and they
quiet and it just entertains the masses for some reason. It's like a
fireworks show.
I'll listen to a comedian on a podcast, just talk about random
things that you know they don't really know anything about and they're just riffing off of
headlines in the news and stuff like that because it's funny and because it's entertaining. And for
some reason these guys think they can do that. They can't. Right. Everyone thinks they can do that.
Most people cannot. Most people are not Tim Dillon. Right. So that's my message to everyone out there.
At Real Canadian Superstore,
our colleagues collectively speak
over a hundred different languages and counting.
We pride ourselves on items
from different parts of the world.
From hard to find specialties
to tastes that'll remind you of childhood.
So welcome everyone.
Come shop the world right here in our aisles with more ways to save at the super welcome
store.
Real Canadian Superstore.
Crypto is like the financial system, but different.
It doesn't care where you come from, what you look like, your credit score, or your
outrageous food delivery habits.
Crypto is finance for everyone.
Everywhere.
All the time.
Kraken.
See what crypto can be.
Not investment advice.
Crypto trading involves risk of loss.
Kraken's registration details at kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash PRU dash disclaimer. And then actually segues nicely into our.
Ringe of the week. This one came in from herb beta patch to
always sends us great stuff and this is a a short that was put
out by bad friends. I believe is the name of the show Bobby
Lee. Some societies like Koreans
I mean they might have a god complex, but they don't have a history of oppression oppressing another group of people
Each other right are you fucking out of your mind?
You don't think Asians had they didn't know Korean Koreans didn't have slaves
We didn't fly did Koreans have slaves Korea
had the longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society
You guys are scumbags
Bobby Lee is one of these guys who can be really dumb and it's fun, and we're all in on it
We're all having fun with him these other guys who try to do dumb and it's fun and we're all in on it. We're all having fun with him.
These other guys who try to do it, but a job jet, they just don't have the charm. I guess is the problem.
No, the way that was cut together was great.
Like that's actually pretty funny.
I don't even see it as a cringe of the week.
No, I know we just watched as a cringe.
No, you're right.
In fact, let me make up for that.
Let me show you a real cringe of the week because Opie's got a pretty hot take
that he put out on his channel.
But I think if I went back to 1980 for one day,
I would have to go to a record store.
Yes.
You gotta go to a record store
and it has to sort of be like one of those
kind of independent underground type record stores
where they have bootlegs and whatnot. Yeah, it can't be one of those chain record stores in 1980. So it says
the name of this video is 80s time travel. The first thing I do. So I'm already all in on this.
This is amazing. Record stores. Let's talk about it. Legs and whatnot. And remember just going like this, trying to find records. Holy crap.
I miss doing that and getting little gems,
whatever your band of choice was.
Let's say it was Zeppelin.
They got all the Zeppelin albums.
Zeppelin too, holy shit.
Can't believe I found it.
It's a good thing I went to this mom and pop shop Live zeppelin from holland
Or whatever would be I think I would do that
I think I would wander around and just go into record stores if I was able to go back to 1980 for one hour
Well, you are a boring guy. You can still go to a record store. What a waste of a time machine
I'm still doing that now
They actually records are back but
You can still go to a record store. What a waste of a time machine.
You can still do that now.
Totally.
They actually, yeah, records are back.
But a waste of a time machine is the best description
of that possibly.
What a horrible take that is.
That's crazy.
Like, I'm going to get in a time machine
so I can go back and find music that I can currently
find pretty easily.
I think he came up with the visual, the hand gestures before he actually came up with the answer
Just like the big wheel that he was driving. Yeah
He thinks that's fucking comedy. Well, he's a radio guy
Do you think originally he was like maybe I'll go back and shoot Reagan or go to a record store
And he just had to choose one of those for the video video I hope so. I hope it was down to two choices
both of the same day
In an hour though. I don't know. All right. I have a special presentation for us today
because
There's a user came into our subreddit recently
kibble and bliss. And they posted this podcast that came out in 2016. It's called the
peripheral hosted by Justin Evans. And what this Redditor is
telling us is that this show had a guest on their show. One
Marissa Jones. Now if, one Marissa Jones.
Now, if you remember Marissa Jones,
her photo's right over there.
We still highlight her here on WATP
because she's the host of the Vanish podcast
and she actively tried to ruin my life
and I haven't forgotten it, nor will I.
Well, according to this Redditor,
and I believe it to be true,
she poses as a woman named Kathy on this show,
and she tells a story about something
that happened in her life.
And this is the disclaimer, it's a weird disclaimer,
before she comes on the show.
This is by no means a defense of drunk driving
and the actions that she'd taken.
We do not condone it whatsoever. Please understand that the intention of this episode,
so other people can hear what it's like to be charged with a DWI and all the horrible ramifications
that go along with it. All right, so they're not encouraging you to drink and drive. That's good to know.
I would think that would be a bad look if they were doing that. So let's find out what happened to
the person who I believe to be Marissa Jones. Now I do have some evidence that will reveal in a moment, but it sounds exactly like Marissa Jones. And I did see speculation on multiple subreddits about this,
on True Crime subreddits,
a lot of people talking about this.
I ended up hitting a parked car.
I didn't hit the car coming towards me,
which it was like my saving grace
that I hit a car that nobody was in.
So the next thing I remember is being at my house.
Now my house is about a mile away from where the accident happened. Very close.
I driven my car home and I remember my car was
damaged, very damaged. It ended up being totaled.
So already hold on a second. This story is nuts.
She hit a parked car and just drove a mile drove a mile very close in a totaled car Yeah, and a car that you couldn't fix because it's not worth it
Stories not checking out
Also doesn't remember anything after hitting the car just that she arrived at home, right?
So there was a mile of that's an important aspect of the story.
Yeah, based on the complaining that she's going to do. And there was never a point where I was
said to myself, I'm going to flee the scene and go home. I didn't say, you know, I didn't make that
conscious decision. I don't remember driving home. Yeah, you don't remember driving home
You don't know if you made that decision or not. You probably did you like fuck?
She's like it's like I was trying to flee the accident or something get away with it
It's like no, that's precisely what you were doing. She got home and said did I just flee the scene?
I remember hitting the car I'm going to go see what just
happened in the last three or
four minutes. I remember
hitting the car. The main
crux of this. I remember doing
that. Committing the crime, I
guess. Yeah. But after that, it
gets a bit fuzzy. Well, I love
how she got caught because
she's just, she's describing
she, they were at this bar,
they stayed longer than she
thought they were going to. They had more drinks than she thought she was going to have, you know. It happens. Story as old as time. The band was good. What are you going to do?
So then she drives down this tight little alleyway and there's cars parked on both sides and the cars coming towards her so she just drives into a parking lot.
As one does.
Smart decision.
I can't imagine what that car looks like if her car's towed right.
How fast was she going? But let's find out how she got
Because of the damage to my car I
Was kind of dragging the front
Passenger side tire and it left a drag mark all the way to my house
Wakes up they hear crash they go. Oh shit my car's totaled
Breadcrumbs in my pocket. I had no idea.
The cops show up. You're like, how'd you find me?
See, Andrew, that's really funny. I almost lost my shit. That was very funny.
So then the police show up to her house. So she says she goes home. She's very drunk. She passes out
and she's like, yeah, I knew I'd get my car fixed in the morning, but whatever, I'm gonna sleep it off.
And then she gets woken up by a police officer or two.
And she's not thrilled with the questioning.
They started questioning me
and I was really confused still.
Like they didn't ask me, like, were you injured or anything?
And I was really confused about what was going on and what had
happened. They were, you know, asking me question after question after question. And I'm like, I
don't know. I was really confused. And I was kind of afraid of incriminating myself.
Oh, there's the truth.
They didn't even ask how I was feeling.
There's the truth. There's where the truth came out.
They didn't even ask how I was feeling.
I know.
I can't believe it, yeah.
The balls on this lady.
Yeah, what are they supposed to do, tell you a story?
I waffled a kid on a bike at a crosswalk
and they didn't even ask me if I was okay.
Yeah, right.
It's insane.
Did you spill your drink?
I can't imagine going through this
and then going on a podcast and being like,
and these cops are jerks.
Yeah, I can't believe doing their fucking jobs.
But they're on too. So then she says she refuses the breathalyzer and she explains why.
They handcuff me. I refuse to do the breathalyzer, but I requested a blood test because they're
typically more accurate.
Hold on a second. Accuracy is the concern here.
She admits she's drunk. That's what I'm concerned with all the time.
The reason why, in my mind, the reason why I would refuse a breathalyzer and want a blood test,
it takes longer. You know, you would be able to get some of that alcohol out of your system, I believe.
Took me to the hospital to get a blood test. Now if I were to refuse the blood test too,
I would've lost, immediately lost my license for a year,
no questions asked.
So that's kind of one of the things with the law
where even if you had nothing to drink and you refuse it,
then you lose your license.
So.
Isn't that incredible?
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's not the case here, right?
Because you were drunk and driving a car around.
I love it. She goes, you know, this is crazy, but if you refused to do the breathalyzer they take your license away
Well, if you're not drunk, then just do the breath. Yeah
She's wrong no questions asked they asked you take a breath
Numerous questions and then she gets to the hospital
So she she's the one who said I refuse the breathalyzer. I wanted a blood test they get to the hospital
They're like, okay time for your blood test. She's like, nope. I want my attorney. I want this. I want that like
ma'am
It's 1 a.m. We're not calling an attorney. You have to take a test or you lose your license and you go to jail
Those are your options. She's like, I can't believe those are my options like well you're the one who smashed up a car that drove
parts of it back to your house and drew a line to your house yeah you look like
you had just gotten married with the shit
all right so and then she's complaining about the details in the police report
for some reason there was a lot of discrepancies between the police report and what happened that night
with the time was completely different.
And it's not just me saying that and you would say, Oh, well you were drunk, but there
were other people like the time, like one of the times on the police report, like they
were saying the accident happened later than it did because the place that we were drinking closed
That night at a certain time and and I only drove dropped a friend off came back around
There's no way it would have taken me that long. Well, I don't know how accurate that is
First off who cares what time is what's the difference doesn't make it was that night some point that night
Whenever it was reported they're found or whatever, but also like like well there are other people who believe me my other drunk friends
Yeah, they their their time frame isn't right either
Well, she said earlier and I was gonna go back and clip it after I heard that but I'll just tell you I just report
On it when she said that she stayed later than she thought she was going to they went to go see this bluegrass band
And the band was really good and she goes so so yeah, so we ended up saying like nine or ten, but then there she goes, why no one the bar closed?
So it couldn't have been, it's like, well, wait a second. You said you left around nine or ten.
Yeah. We had an hour window. You weren't sure. So it's so dumb. Like why would you even bring
this part up? Like you're obviously in the wrong on this. And so Justin, who I think is trying to take her side, trying to make
her feel that yeah, you're not the one who's crazy here.
As much as I don't condone or think that drinking and driving
is okay. It is annoying to me that people think when you're
drunk, all of a sudden you're equivalent to someone being on
LSD and you have the concept of a sudden you're equivalent to someone being on LSD and you have
concept of anything and you see things and you're hallucinating like no, I would assume that
we've all been drunk most most of America drinks, you know what it's like and you know that you're not as long as you're not blacked out drunk you're yeah you know you remember what song was playing
on the radio yeah you know you know you remember details two things here
First off she was blackout drunk. She didn't remember driving home. She mentioned that
Secondly, I don't really goes. It's not like you're tripping or something
Well when you're on LSD
You would definitely know what time it was. That's not a hard concept to figure out when you're drunk
You could lose sight of a lot of things going on around you. So I don't know what this point's almost like you vanish
Just like you weren't that fucked up you were just wasted
Yeah, yeah, it's it's such a bizarre take to be like listen
We've all been drunk and driven cars around before I don't know what the big deal is here
This gets crazier. In fact, did you said that I'm gonna skip to this track most of the people in there
They're it's not like when you go and then the courtroom and there's like the people coming in all chained to it yet to each other
These are normal people. They you wouldn't expect to see in a courtroom
what like 80 something percent of the population drinks alcohol and
Almost 90 percent of population drives cars, so it's
She smashes up her car on a parked car when she's wasted drive around and he's like I'm sure everyone does that every week
I'm a heavy drinker. I've never done that
I'm a heavy drinker. I've never done that. I've never done that.
I absolutely love the overlap
where it's like 90% drive cars,
80% drink. You put those two
things together. 85% of the
people out there are drunk
driving. Yeah, I think I just
laid out the facts pretty well
just now, right? It's pretty
obvious what's going on. Alright,
so she has to go in order to get out of the DUI and
not get her license suspended and all that stuff so she can
continue to work. She has to take these classes and things
and she's not happy about the cost of these things or
questions being asked. In the meantime, I had to go to this county agency and get a drug and alcohol evaluation.
That cost me, I want to say about between $200 and $300 for that evaluation.
Took about two hours and they just asked me a ton of questions.
I mean, these were crazy, crazy questions.
Some of them like, what kind of birth control do you use?
You have to answer it.
Some of it's absurd, but they ask you things like somehow your birth control is relevant
to this.
Yeah, I don't know.
I was like, what?
And they're like, well, we only ask women this question.
I'm like, what?
Okay.
So it's sexist.
Yeah.
Well, why would you ask a man what kind of birth control he uses?
The guy goes well that sounds very sexist. Well, no just logically
That's you'd ask the woman that I am I I couldn't even believe I went into the hospital recently
I thought I had broken my foot. I didn't but before they gave me the x-ray
They didn't even ask me when I had my last period. I couldn't believe
Well, and I was thinking about this so she had to answer all these questions
She's like, why would they care about what birth control?
Well, maybe if you're like wildly irresponsible, you're taking plan B every other weekend. They might think that you're an alcoholic
I don't know seems possible closing the bar every night. Yeah
Seems possible. Closing the bar every night.
Yeah.
So.
I mean, my favorite thing is the $200.
It's like $200 on top of, I guess,
whatever it cost me to fix my car.
This is really adding up.
I would be embarrassed to complain
about that on the internet.
Yes.
I'm glad you picked up on that, because this continues on,
where she says, and then I have to hire an attorney,
and that cost me this.
And then I had to do this thing, and that cost me this.
So she's constantly adding up
the amount of money it costs.
And yeah, it sucks.
Getting a DUI sucks.
It costs a lot of money.
We all know that.
But she hired an attorney and her attorney
did what all good attorneys do, Vince, lied.
So my attorney goes in with,
it then talks to her with a story and he says, she forgot her phone
and she went home to call the police.
Now, if we're going with their timeline, she says, well, she should have stopped and started
knocking on doors.
And he was like, well, you know, she was really disoriented. She hit her head. And do you really want a young woman out at 10 30 at night
knocking on people's doors?
So they explain why didn't she call 911
when she had the accident?
Why did she just flee?
And the attorney goes, she forgot her phone at home,
which is by the way, never happened to a woman ever
in the history of the world.
No woman would get to the bar and be like, Oh, I forgot my phone. All right, whatever. So this bed's pretty good
You know what I mean? That's just not a thing
Who would go on a podcast and say all this and not immediately email the guy be like can you never air this
never air this. This is a mistake. Especially if you're Marissa Jones of The Vanished. It seems crazy to do this. I know. I was thinking the same thing. I was actually compelled by
this because I'm like, is this woman's complaining? So she's that delusional and it does kind
of check out that she would want to ruin someone's life over nothing. Yes. And the way that she
treats the families and the way she talks about the police on The Vanished where she's
just like, and these cops aren't doing shit
And you know what they do you know what they are up to though is charging me with a D
Questions they said I should have left the seat of the accident
Can you believe it listen if you want a bad mouth cops?
I have all four but knowing that this is where it started or this is the reason oh my god
Yeah, I just don't understand why you let this out there how yeah that this is where it started or this is the reason. Oh my God. Yeah.
I just don't understand why you let this out there.
How?
Yeah, well.
Why would you voluntarily talk about this on the internet?
Well, now you understand the disclaimer.
It's like, listen, we don't condone drunk drivers.
It's gonna sound like we do quite a bit.
No, we condone ripping on jerks.
I had this mental breakdown over a couple of days
because he then tells me, you know, mental breakdown over a couple of days because he then tells me,
you know, if that happens and you have to plead guilty, you're going to have to do at
least three days in jail. And I start having like complete panic attack because I'm like,
what am I going to tell my kids?
Mommy's got to go to jail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I started having, you know, like total mental breakdown over this.
And also it's just that the whole idea of going to jail is terrifying.
Yeah.
Remember how mommy was arrested?
Now I have to go to jail.
And this is a good lesson for all of you about consequences.
Could she have something on Justin where she's like hey, I'm gonna come on your platform
Yeah, you have to defend me right of that thing that I know about you. I wonder yeah
Cuz it doesn't make any sense the way he's talking there is just like you know I get it
This is crazy. He seems logical except in this instance, right?
Someone posted in our discord go go gadget Wang posted a photo of Marissa Jones and says she's unfuckable and I have no standards
Pretty good, I like it. All right, so you just heard that she's having a nervous breakdown
She's all upset if she's found guilty
She has to go to jail for three days and it just keeps getting worse
My attorney was late and I was you know continuing to have a mental breakdown. I was trying not to cry. I was trying to hold myself together. Of course, everybody else there had like a
support person, but I didn't because I didn't, I didn't want like a witness to my, you know,
like if I just totally lost it, I'd rather just be by myself.
Then why'd you bring it up? If you didn't want a support person, why are you complaining
that you didn't have one that to the world?
What's going on?
So now this guy Justin Evans the host is gonna try to sympathize with her and relate
Let's say you didn't even drink alcohol. It's just a say you you took a big old swig of Nyquil
On the wheel you're technically
Driving under the influence. Mm-hmm. Okay two things first off don't drink make well before you have to drive somewhere
That's fucking dumb. I don't know why anyone would do that
That'd be really stupid but secondly, but she didn't drink Nyquil did she she'd have a cold
She was drinking with her friends at the bar
Drove one of her friends home and then smashed up a parked car
their friends at the bar, drove one of her friends home, and then smashed up a parked car. So why did you even bring that up? Can you believe it? Someone just doses you at
the bar and all of a sudden now you're responsible for driving intoxicated.
I feel like Justin would be a good lawyer. And I don't think so.
I'm kind of surprised the lawyer didn't pitch that as like, let's say you got roofied at the bar.
It's not a big deal. Right. Just say that it's not your fault. So what she was going for,
what her attorney was trying to help her do was get an ARD accelerated rehabilitative disposition.
And so I looked to that out because she keeps
saying ARD ARD. ARDs are only
available in the state of
Pennsylvania where Marissa
Jones lives. Oh, wait. Hold on.
I'm making a note. I was going
to say, I thought maybe you
would know that. Yes. I thought
maybe you would know that.
There's a lot of Philly people
involved in this show somehow.
So, that's why again, I'm like, okay, it sounds exactly like her. This person who listens to her show says, this is Mar believe that I got I got my client ARD with leaving the scene and they're
like high-fiving and I'm just like you should be up there high-fiving him as well. What are you talking about? You're upset that your attorney is taking a victory
lap on your behalf? It's amazing right he didn't think he's pulling off and he did. Can you
believe it? I can't believe
that works. I just actually
looked up a real thing. These
books are for sure. Right.
Exactly. I'm thinking a line
on. I moved for a bad court
thing.
Alright, so, apparently, even though she got the ARD and now she's under probation for a year and there's
a bunch of things she has to do, she has to go to classes or something like that, this
is shocking.
Now, if you get another DUI, it's still in their records for 10 years.
So if you get another DUI, you can't go through ARD again.
It then counts as a second DUI, which the consequences are way worse for each one.
So this is like your one chance.
How is that fair? So wait, if you don't word your life out, just keep driving around drunk and smashing up cars.
You get more trouble.
She's already worried about the next one.
Jesus Christ, woman. trouble. She's already worried about the next one. Jesus Christ, woman.
Wow. She's insane. It sounds
to me like there's been a lot of
close calls before this one.
Could you imagine you get pulled
over driving drunk like, don't
even bother officer. I've
already got a DUI. Yeah, that's
double jeopardy. You're not
getting me with that. All right.
So, this is my last clip from
this and
It's amazing because you called this Doug as we were talking about it
So she's going through all of these costs that she had and complaining about that
I don't know if they have these signs where you live, but there's these signs around here and they're like
You know don't take a chance. You're about to blow ten thousand dollars. Yeah, the signs don't lie
I mean, I didn't have to pay ten thousand
But you're on five thousand at least now
Yeah, yeah, and if you count the loss of my vehicle on it and what that was worth to me. That was a huge hit
She's counting the loss of her vehicle. You're the one who destroyed your vehicle
What an idiot she's like, I mean, okay the court fees the attorney the class that I take vehicle
Mean okay the court fees the attorney the class that take five thousand bucks, but also I'd sentimental value with that card
You're insane All right, this is this whole thing. It's crazy makes no sense. Why would you do this?
Why would you voluntarily share this information out there? It's crazy Wow she really believes she can do no wrong. Why would you do this? Why would you voluntarily share this information out there? It's crazy. Wow. She really believes she can do no wrong. Yeah. So that's a it's
an interesting peek into the mind of the woman who tried to ruin my life. Marissa Jones from
the Venice. Check it out, everybody. All right. Here's a fun little segue we have. So, mister Hannah sent me a note and this happened a
couple of weeks ago but Legion of Skanks had on Doctor Drew
Pinsky and Ari Shafir and they were talking about this crack
Amiko song, Two Bears, One Grave. I we played this when I
was on the Drew and Mike show a couple of weeks ago, this song.
I'll play a little bit for you so you guys know what I'm talking about if you haven't
heard this.
But basically, this guy Crackamico, this white rapper who was discovered by rap, Louis J.
Gomez's other show with Zac Amico.
So this guy, Crackamico does these these great songs and this one's about Bert and Tom, Two Bears, 1K.
We've talked about it many times down here.
And this is an amazing diss track.
This is really, really well done if you haven't heard this. They ain't giving nothing, all they do is take money
And it's so gay to get paid, that's why I'm putting two bears in one grave
And you can never dig em up, ayy, two crack in your bitch, I'ma hit em up
Gotta get back to the money, got millions, I'll stick em up
You might stack a lot of money but your soul ain't gettin' saved
Ay, it's too bad it's one grade
You follow Rogan like some faggity bitches
Pretty sad that we magically knew who Kat really dissed
And some raggedy dick queers careers tragically slipping
And that's why McAfee see you and act dramatically different
It's actually fitting your reputation drastically shifted
Something's burning, I think you got too many hacks in the kitchen
When I break my foot off in your ass you gon' be practically shittin'
And pissin' and wishin' that we would drink your maggoty liquor
Got a rich Lord dad, you ain't never had to suffer
He worked for L. Ron Hubbard You a Scientology baby, need I say more
Every bitty the reliant stole it from J. Moore You a fat bitch, why you keep takin' the metabolic
Losing weight but you still got the face of an alcoholic
If it ain't a drinkin' problem then I don't know what to call it
You done drank yourself retarded,
you dumber than Lauren Compton.
Watch him drink more liquor to fuck him up,
quicker than I give fuck up for saying the word, nigger.
And that's what you get for making these dumb bitches pay.
All right, so that first whole verse there
was just crushing Bird Christ here, pretty funny.
Great visuals, if you haven't watched this,
check it out on YouTube.
So let me just flip to the end because it gets pretty brutal at the end here to very funny stuff I'ma take all this top We know that story about Russia is fake Work with the mob, boy, you fuckin' insane Pipe and Lee in with your three favorite homies
The closest you come in to runnin' the train
Oh, girl lookin' lonely, man
Better hope that bitch don't start a OnlyFans
Downsack, cause your joke's bad
Now Joke World is your OnlyFans
Tommy's a girl and no Joe Rogan made you
Fit in the game but to my degree, played you
No broken arms, I'm bringin' you harm
Sippin' shots and you gone, Paramedics won't save you
Look at y'all fuckin' pussies, man
All that money but you still down bad
Tryna suck Shane Gillis dick. Sucking
Joe Rogan fat dick. Throwing Tony Hinchcliffe clitoris on
God. Fuck.
When we played this on Drew's show, Drew goes, is that true
girl? Joe Rogan is a fat dick.
I'm a podcasting expert. I don't have all the answers over here.
But yes.
Red bar radio anthem. Click bow but shots at random. I'm homies Yeah, all the answers over here. But yes.
So at the end there you see Ari Shafir dosing, which is something that he did to bird crash. It's a well-known story.
So Ari, like I said, is on with Legion of Skanks, Legion of Skanks, Dave Smith,
Louis J Gomez, big Jay Okerson. Big Jay's a big fan of the whole dabble verse. He likes to follow it.
And he's going to explain in this clip here,
because what they decide to do is send that video to Bert.
So Ari texts him the link to it. He goes, Bert, check this out. I'm on Legion of Skates right now. Call in after you
watch this and tell us what you think about it. So Big Jay here is explaining that, look it,
when there's some like biting humorous stuff about you, you gotta laugh, especially if they
get it right.
And I think this is why Jay enjoys the devil verse
and is a fan of these shows, because he gets it.
Oh shit.
Woo!
He's still watching it right now.
Do you think it's hurting him or is he laughing?
No, no, no, at first he started,
hold on, he started smiling the first 30 seconds of it.
The thing about his wife might have been a bit too far.
And then about a minute and a half in,
the smile turns into a frown.
I don't know why negative press to me,
and again, I'm not talking about negative people,
like I said, like, clever press.
The people who are trying to get people canceled
is a different thing.
Critical, like shit talking to me is the funniest
because they definitely hit on the things
you think about yourself.
And that's why it's funny.
Now, while Crack Amigo hasn't gone at me plenty of people have and I just say I don't know
Right, it always strikes me as funny. I just like I never like I'm never heard if they're really
Exquisitely accurate then it's funny. Yes. Yes comedy is truth, right?
Yeah, so I like big J's take on this cuz he even says if you're trying to get people canceled and shit go fuck yourself
Right. I mean, this is why John doesn't have any fun with this thing because he's trying to get me arrested
And try to get our channel ticket down our patreon ticket
I was like well, you're not really enjoying this the way you should be. Yeah, it's like oh, yeah
I do just kind of rely on that. He sure is right
But I don't take it that's I don't know why it doesn't hit me that hard
I understand people do get upset and people also go by the way go too far sometimes
Yeah, but crack amico for some reason to me. It's always been like it's in the idea of like let me go here
What's going on?
There's a woman in the back just having her own conversation
So Lewis is pissed
Because I think this is the stand is where they do this show
so they do it live room every Monday night and there's a big crowd kind of around them watching the show and
This conversation is having a Lewis gets a look on his face like I'm gonna murder this person in the audience
Yeah, I was Oh, it's dr. Drew's wife. I got mad at dr. Drew's wife you dumbass. Well, you should have seen my face
I was like would somebody shut that bitch up
Can you fire I shot up. I was I was I'm gonna watch Bert's reaction that guy really has done his research. He's a fan of all of us.
He knows more about me than my fucking wife.
Holy shit.
He's very talented.
I can't sit on his flow and everything.
I have a couple things I hold umbrage with. That's what we want to know. I
Hold holds umbridge he holds up bridge It's all stuff your father said. When he goes, when he's like, you never had this drug, you came from a rich father, I
was like, God damn it, I didn't know anyone knew that.
I didn't know that. No, my dad wasn't rich, but you know, it's like, obviously I mean,
I don't think crack amico probably knew his dad. It sounds like, Oh, shots fire. I'm just
saying like with that flow, usually they don't. You're probably right. You probably are right. He's white, right?
Yeah, he's white.
He's got to be white. It sounds like a white dude.
You can tell he's not...
The person's like, oh shit, I probably shouldn't have said he didn't know his father.
He's a white guy, right? Oh, thank God.
That would have sucked.
He's not all there, but...
He's like Appalachian white.
There's a couple things that I've seen worse online.
If that's any consolation.
No, I'm telling you, he's a fan.
No, no, no.
That was like, I actually, I gotta be honest with you.
I was a little flattered, you know, because like I was just talking to my dad the other
day and he said, he's like, I left a comment on your Instagram buddy.
And I was like, Oh, I don't read that shit. And he's like, I left a comment on your Instagram, buddy.
And I was like, Oh, I don't read that shit.
And he was like, why not? And I go, well, there's people that hate me.
He was like, for real.
He goes, I know you should have heard my comment.
Websites dedicated to hating me.
And my dad started laughing and it goes, you're my son and I don't think
about you, but once a week,
like that would hurt more than some of these comments on Instagram. Also, so to Bird, holding umbrage means when somebody says hurtful things about you that
are true?
Yeah!
I know, he's not refuting anything so far.
He's just like, well, that's not the case at all.
He's like, I hold umbrage with all of that stuff that was really painful because it's all true.
Yeah.
Okay.
He was like, what kind of loser thinks about you that much?
Your dad is a genius.
Crack Miko dad.
True.
No, Crack Miko is a fan of the whole universe
of the comic, of all of us.
So he just makes his things, he makes diss tracks
and they are fantastic. They're pretty great.
Yeah, no, I don't think JJ, I think you're using the
collective we're too little too loosely.
Fair enough. Yeah, by the way, we're gonna send you the song
that he wrote about the Legion of skanks called skank fest
shit. After the words, it's a similar thing that he did to you
guys.
Oh, for real?
No, no, it was pretty nice
it sounded great, it was super positive
but here's the thing
he did have one shitting on it
he set him up perfectly for that
he shits on everyone he shits on us too
did he really? no
he thinks we're really funny, he hurts crying somewhere
it really hurt
Louis had a funny joke, he called him hurt Cricier
aw LA comics that you would actually like It really hurt Louie's had a funny jokey caught him hurt Chrysler
LA comics that you would actually like you it wasn't it was called LA is gay and then it just turned into a diss track I'm Brendan Shaw up the entire time
I was safe and the first comment said, you know Bert Kreitzer's bitch ass is reading this.
That's right.
So Bert, you've heard Crackamico before
because you heard the LA is gay, Brendan.
Brendan, show up to this track.
And it's so funny, but it's not you, right?
Oh yeah.
I think he's picking,
in order for him to get very successful,
I have to get bigger. But we're not working on that. Ah, you're pretty big. Yeah, you're I think he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, The invite to be on the comedy tour now while will crack amico show up on fully loaded
The audience would go fucking nuts
Me go come hang out with me at dance owner on tour right a positive for a Chrysler song. He lives in like fucking he's living like the Florida.
North Carolina.
You know, listen, I, you can't, the guys watch. What?
Ari that timing was amazing
Literally just got him in the Danny Tanner moment
We're gonna be together all summer so Bert that was Ari. I think that was fucked up
Alright, so I thought that was interesting
It's it's fun to see a reaction immediately when someone really hits hard. That was a great song. Very well done. So Bert took it pretty well.
Sounded a little frazzled.
Yeah, a little bit. And I love the fact that he goes, Ah, that's cool, man. He can come along with me on my tour, but he has to write a positive song about me first
Yeah, we don't negotiate with terrorists there That's not gonna happen is it something where a lot of celebrities are just very sensitive people
Yes, just just really you you can cut them so easily like I've
Carl just like you I've gotten bad reviews of my show and stuff, and I've I've read just like me if I got bad reviews
You know what?
Fewer and fewer read on the podcast, but I've heard okay. I just I just don't I don't know maybe it's the internet
Maybe that's maybe it's when?
People's reaction to what you do professionally is how you make your money like maybe that's where it all
lies but it's something I just can't I can't understand I can't connect with it's called
narcissism I'm used to people praising me all day long I have a PR person I'm my manager
my agent all these people tell me how great I am all day long. And then this check up on the Internet says I'm not very funny.
You know, who else was covering this information recently?
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me you don't like my show.
Don't tell me.
I go for the no.
Because that's absurd.
That's right.
Puke Water is the podcast.
He's still putting out new episodes.
One just dropped a few days ago.
And what's amazing about-
I just love the fact that it's called Puke Water.
I know.
The full, just the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the
idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea
of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of
him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him,
the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him,
the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of He's still putting out new episodes one just dropped a few days ago And what's amazing about the fact that it's called puke what I know
The full suggest the idea of him feeding off of what you've done and accepting it but also
Rejecting at the same time
He's he's amazing. I love him in there. Well. He was doing free water
And it only made sense that he'd now be doing puke water. This is puke water. He always starts up the show by saying hey it's
Patti Pukewater aka Patti Zekops aka Patti Broken Scholar goes through all the
AKAs aka Mr. AKA all those things and he starts off his show so what's amazing
about Pukewater I don't have a lot to play about it
He does a great job preparing for it. He said he claims for this most recent episode
He wrote down his notes in his script twice. He went back and went this isn't good enough. Let me try this again
This is very on Patrick Michael ask. That's crazy
So he goes on and the first segment because he has segments, which is great first segment all death metal
Yeah, he's still doing that
He goes, you know what? I'm really into are my metal vocals and he plugs his Instagram page or whatever
Tick-tock wherever he's doing that and he goes I know there isn't any overlap between people like my death metal vocals and my podcasting but go fuck yourself
Cuz now we're gonna talk about that for 20 minutes. That's
Patty for you. Yeah that's Patty for you. So he's going through he discovered some new metal band that was
like Bye Bye Bunny I think they're called and he goes what's up what's up with
these bands they use the word bunny and he even referenced the bunny the bear
which is a Buffalo band yeah that dug from the
jingles department recorded many times i was like i knew they were pretty popular but i didn't
realize they were on patties right now i thought that's exciting but then he starts talking about
bad bunny and what i like about this version of patrick michael is that he's prepared with a take
because you wonder sometimes you know he's just going off the top of his head
What if he had a little time to prepare and write down some jokes?
Here's the answer. I don't know any of his music, but his name's
Bad bunny, I believe
which
Weird choice, you know what I mean when you have the choice
as an artist to
Pick your nickname
Pick your pseudonym whatever it is right your
alias and this guy decides to go with bad bunny says patty sea cups all right
yeah I don't know what that means like did he grow up as a fan just watching
constant bugs bunny shit he's like that's a bad bunny and he's like, oh shit. Hey, that's perfect homes. Hey, what if it does like my
You know what I wouldn't do this thing if it wasn't a great take but based on your guys reaction maybe it is
Let's let's do that again
Bad buddy. You think this guy was watching bugs bunny. No
We don't but okay, and he's like, oh shit
Hey, that's perfect homes. Hey, what if what if does like my nickname dude like what if I sang into a carrot?
Like well, I don't understand
Bunny Hispanic, I don't
I don't follow bad buddies music all that close
He sings into a carrot
He wrote this twice yeah, I wish I was a fly in the water when the first version didn't go over
What do you think he was like what did he grow up watching Daffy Duck?
He wasn't back. It's like that doesn't fucking make sense
Damn it. I gotta redo this whole thing. I don't know like it doesn't sound cool
It's not somebody's somebody's name that I'd see on Spotify without knowing the music and be like oh shit bad bunny
That sounds cool. Let me click on that no because my initial thought is hey probably a girl
Probably a lady probably a white
Probably a girl. Probably a lady.
Probably a white female rapper.
A dame.
I'm not expecting it to be this, you know, multi-talented, I don't even know what the guy does honestly, but I'm just going to give him his flowers.
Multi-talented artist who's crossed over to mainstream, you know, American media, I guess.
I don't know, dude. I know nothing about this guy. I've just seen him at... That takes her the fucking back guess I don't know dude. I don't know
This is what I miss about
The original chewed gum where he had no clue what he was talking about. Yes. Yeah, this is where this is where you shy Stop, but there's an innocence about it. Yeah, so charming right crossed over to mainstream, you know American media
I guess I don't know dude. I know nothing about this guy. I've just seen him at so many UFC events
Nothing about you. Okay, so they just point him out at the UFC.
And that's a bad bunny.
Bad bunny's in attendance.
Yeah, but was he yelling shit like Meek Mill was?
That's what I want to know.
Alright.
One more clip from this because then he goes into what we were just talking about.
And Bert Kreischer responding and Legion of skanks and all that kind of stuff and then he starts talking about cat Williams on Joe Rogan
Remember this episode just came out four days ago. He's a little behind but that's okay. So I
Don't hear Patty do impressions very often. I get very excited what he does. I watched this entire cat Williams
Interview with Joe and boy does this guy have a way of speaking not just that crazy low voice that crazy high voice
That he's got you know the cat way whatever
Not an impressions guy, but
He's got this crazy
Give yourself some credit there
Yeah, okay, please about the show that and the bad bunny impression these are good voices
Williams came into the room
He's got this crazy
Way of like pausing through his talking which I don't do
You know not because I want to take away the dramatic
emphasis on certain things but
What a waste I know I'd rather just
You know puke water, you know
Vomit if you know pretty good stuff, huh? Wow Doug
So he paused on purpose there, right?
He's like I wouldn't do something like that good gag Doug? So he paused on purpose there, right? Yes, he did. That was the joke.
He's like, I wouldn't do something like that.
Good gag.
He's so great.
I used to listen to him all the time.
I had not listened to him in years.
And I'm going to find Puke Water and I'm going to subscribe.
Yeah, it's on, I couldn't find it on my podcast app.
It's on YouTube.
Okay.
So look for Puke Water on YouTube. He also has a new YouTube
channel. It might be the same one that he goes live on from time to time. He's still very difficult
to find, but at least he's starting to plug stuff that he's doing. And honestly, knowing that you
were coming on the show today, Doug, I went, I got to check in on Patty Puke Water. So you and I go way back with this guy. Oh
I was recently
You know in a five below as we do and I can't go in a five below without thinking to this guy I should I tried to find them the light up cactus. I couldn't find it in my five below, but there were plenty of headphones
Yeah, you got to get a variety of headphones at the five below because you never know
Well that he had 15 parrot he's like of course. I'm a professional podcast. I have 15 pairs of headphones
More than one just one pair it's not really you need
All right
We were doing point dabble point yesterday very excited that drew lane joined the show. He had a blast
Uh, everyone seemed to have a lot of fun on the show. We did it differently than normal
So it was me and a cute public drew lane and anthony zennhauser
And the four of us actually played clips. Normally point dabble point roundtable discussion.
What'd you pick up on from the week?
What's going on in the world of Suthering John?
And there was a lot of that, but I also had a ton of clips to play
and there's a bunch I didn't get to.
And if you guys don't mind, let's check it out. Alright, so I mentioned this on point devil point yesterday.
I made a comment the week before that I don't think John has a lot of friends. And the
reason why I say that is because
he drinks by himself every night
on the internet. So, I don't
know. That seems like a pretty
good guess, right? John was not
happy with that. And he was
just like, well, who's Lady K's
friends? You know, he's he's
going on and on about how I
don't have any friends. What's, he's he's going on and on about how I don't have any
friends. What's crazy? It's
fair. What's crazy is this is
literally the only podcast in
the devil verse that has a
studio where multiple people
sit in the same room and do a
show together. I don't think
there's any other show that
does that. It's like the only
one where we actually get
together with our friends and
do a show. Mm hmm. But John
has to go through and list all of his friends to
let us know that he does have friends. What's crazy about it
is that he starts with his Long Island friends. Now, John grew
up in Long Island. We all have friends where we grew up.
That's the nature of going to school and playing sports and
being in bands. It's like you meet a bunch of people going
to college and maybe stay in touch with them or whatever.
But then when you move to the other side of the country, you're probably not that close
to friends with them anymore. But that was the longest list of people was long out. Then
he got to California. I think he said three different names. He's lived there for 20 years.
Man, I think he has three friends in California. He met every celebrity there is in 10 years
on this night show and he has three.
Sounds nuts, but whatever. But the list gets even worse here. You know, then you can go
to California and you have mediated Mike and my a few of my good buddies at the pub. Oh boy.
So then you go to Florida. Oh jeez. I misrem go to Florida It's worse than I thought
So after the list in Long Island he goes then you go to California. There's Mike and couple guys from the pub
Talk about the Yankees fucking hell
Oh, no, so now okay, so now we're going to Florida his new home
And you got my buddy John and Norbert and you got my buddy
Your buddy Joey Sativa who I mean Bobby Sativa sorry
He doesn't know their names.
So he named himself and that Eddie Murphy movie
and then he got the guy's name wrong.
Yes.
Goes on and on.
Yeah, I think it just stopped.
Now, and then you go to my Tonight Show friends,
my Stern Show friends, Doug Goodstein, Scott DePace.
Scott DePace blocked you. You guys don't talk anymore. He's listing him as his friend. That
was the second name from Stern? Scott DePace? Yeah.
Carl, this is why I do not keep the comments up because Eric Snell wrote, am I other friend
than Nutty Professor?
That's good. So wait, he's organizing this fucking Tonight
Show reunion. Yes. And he actually is still close with all
those people. He mentioned none of them. Correct. He had to put
out a Facebook post in order to get in touch with them. He
doesn't have their phone numbers. It's embarrassing.
John, it's a public Facebook post telling people, hey, let's
all get together from the Tonight Show. And he's been
painting himself on the back for organizing it. What is wrong
with his hair? That looks digitally painted on. He's been putting his head together from the tonight show and he's been painting himself on the back for organizing it too. Oh
yeah. What is wrong with his
hair? That looks like
digitally painted on. What's
right with his hair? It's
terrible. Someone was
speculating because John says
he goes to supercuts or
something to get his hair
dyed. That tracks. I don't
think so. I don't I don't
think they would do that bad
a job. Right. At a place that does. does I realize they're not the cream of the crop
But it's super cuts, but that's what they do for a living. Yeah, I think that that is
The pharmacy you go in you look at the just for men you like oh, that's 30 bucks
No, no you go you start to look down a little bit you find the generic just for retail
But and someone was speculating this I don't know. It's a little too expensive. But and
someone was speculating this. I
don't know if this is true or
not. It's just fun to talk
about. Apparently there is a dye
for like your facial hair that's
less expensive. So they think
he's buying the less expensive
facial hair dye and putting that
in his head because it's not
blending well. You know. Oh my
god. Like they have those commercials a touch of gray like you don't want to go
it's too obvious. Right. You know you want it to blend a little bit. Yeah. That's
right. Yeah. Emmett Smith. You got Emmett Smith that thing because it looks amazing.
Isn't Keith Hernandez in those commercials too? Probably. Probably.
Scott the engineer, Ronnie Mundt. I
mean. Oh, so that's great too. So he
lists four people from the Stern show.
Ronnie Mundt. He was not invited to
Ronnie's wedding. Right. That just
happened recently. Oh. She really was
invited. John was not and he's like
we're friends. You're not Sorry, John
There's a weird thing to nitpick but this gets really funny right here got the pace
Scott the engineer Ronnie Mond. I mean the list goes on and on
but lady K is
Gonna sit there and say I don't have any friends and then we go to my brother-in-law
Who's my good buddy? Uh-huh, and then we go to my nephews I?
mean
No, wait, I got plenty of friends
We can include family members
That dramatically increases my number of friends
That dramatically increases my number of friends. Yeah me too.
Is that crazy? My brother-in-law.
The guy who married my sister, we're BFFs. My nephew.
What kind of a loser do you have to be to go online and list friends?
What kind of a loser? You're looking at it. You're looking at it right here.
My god. It's funny. Oh, it's funny
Well, yeah his cats
John's
Credit to go go gadget way John's been goofing on me a lot lately saying that I sound like I'm dargling
I have had a cold the last couple weeks, but that's part of it, but he's doing this thing where
He goes John
Like that's what I sound like. I don't get it, but he's doing this thing where he goes Like that's what I sound like. I don't get it, but
The problem with John is that he thinks he's so funny that he actually embarrasses himself
Trying to do the impression of me. It's not even on the first give that reason. Yeah, yeah
Don't get that reason
Don't give them reasons. Yah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! immediately start goofing on me. It's like, well, maybe find something in context you can goof on that would make more sense.
But no, no, no.
He hears me say four words
and then he mimics it and embarrasses himself.
He's not even on the first.
Don't give that reason, yeah.
Yeah.
Don't give that reason.
Yeah.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
This is transformative content here.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr.
Rarrr. John. transformative content.
John.
This is how the man's gonna die.
So john bonham when look at him. He's fucking losing his shit. He looks terrible, and this is so embarrassing I know he thinks that he makes faces. He's funny Bert Kreischer looks better than you do yes
Yeah, good point speaking of alcoholic face look at this look at that face. It's like he's wearing a Suthering John mask
He's wearing a Sutter and John mask
But what's crazy is that this is all embarrassing it's not funny and
John always says that we laugh at our own jokes and watch how John wraps this God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, and John goes off embarrassed himself laughs at his own jokes because he thought he was being hilarious and then he's
just like, Carl, what do you
have to say about that? I think
you're a loser. I think you
look terrible and you're not
funny. That's what I have to
say about that. Thanks for
asking. Appreciate it. That's
just off the top of your head
and John has been doing this
thing where he corrects
everybody and we played the great uh Dr. Todd Grande who explains
one of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder which is what I'm diagnosing
John with is they feel a need to correct people when they spell something incorrectly or the
grammar's off. John's spelling is atrocious. His grammar is crazy bad. I've seen no evidence of that. Oh, I've seen
some. I've seen some. But this is beyond because now John is remembering a time that he corrected
somebody else from years ago and bragging about that. I gotta drink a monster or something.
Thanks for the five or three minutes after you something. Thanks for the fiber.
Three minutes after you mocked her for Achilles, you mispronounced.
No, it's Felicia.
She said on her show, she said on KB's show the other day, it's not Felicia,
it's Felicia.
So who's mispronouncing it now?
See now, this is where you look stupid.
And this is what I crave people like you.
It's like when Baba Booey once said, when I said on Facebook, I spelt it correctly.
And he says, John, it's spelled.
And I had to show him the Webster dictionary that spelt is a word, S-P-E-L-T.
And then he wrote back I stand corrected Well now you if you were really a man
You would or you know, that's that's I guess
What do they call that?
stupid
Is that misogynistic or sexist? But if you are real, it's neither. I don't know how you could say it
Embrace the fact that you fucked up not only does Jen remember every compliment he's ever been paid by anyone
He also remembers every time he's corrected someone
This is a show he puts this out there just to get super chats, right? Like that's that's all he's doing
He's going he's going longer and longer. He's getting super chat. It's not ad reads. I'll tell you that
He does get these super chats coming in and that's basically what his show is
He's pretty much figured out the Kevin Brennan model and this is the model that everybody wants
I want to do zero prep
I want to sit down in front of my computer and have people give me money and I'll just read what they wrote and
I'll do zero prep. I want to sit down in front of my computer
and have people give me money
and I'll just read what they wrote
and they'll pay me five and 10, $20 at a time to do that.
The difference between what John is doing
and what Kevin Brennan is doing
is that Kevin brings other people on the show
and he goes, look at these assholes.
And everyone goes, yeah, those guys are assholes.
And Kevin gets to read jokes on Ray DeVito and Chad Zumach.
John sits there and goes, hey, look at, I'm an asshole.
And everyone goes, yeah, you're an asshole.
He has to sit there and read it. Which seems like it wouldn't be great for your psyche. Zumaq John says they're gonna hey look at how an asshole ever goes out here an asshole. Yes, it's a third Rita
Which seems like it wouldn't be great for your psyche
But it's good for us. It's great for us. Oh, yeah
Okay, I love it. It's fun
So more on how smart John is funny how I said that more on how smart job
Little Freudian slip there. It is hard for a man of my intelligence to comprehend how stupid these guys are.
You must remember, you have a guy who went to
SUNY Brockport, and you have a guy
that dropped out of high school.
And then you have me with a bachelor,
a BFA from New York University, the number 38 ranked university in the world.
I have a real estate license that I passed the first time.
And I aced the C best.
Okay. So first off, I agree. I've never met a dumb realtor. That's definitely
true. Whenever you meet someone who's a realtor, you're always just like, wow. Yeah, I'm always
impressed. You must have an advanced degree. That's incredible. I realtor's are great.
I'm joking. But then he goes into the test he took to be a substitute teacher. So that
dropped out first. 38th ranked university in the world, realtor substitute teacher. So that dropped off first 38th ranked University of the World realtor substitute teacher. That's who we just got to. Left Uber out. He
did leave Uber on. Maybe he failed that one. But it's also crazy because if you think about it'd be one
thing if it's like well I graduated high school and I graduated community college
and then I got a four-year degree. Oh, okay. You're taking steps. John is taking steps in the wrong direction.
35 years ago, I got my
bachelor's of fine arts degree and then I became a realtor
25 years after that and then I became a substitute teacher because of an emergency in California.
And now I beg for a super chance.
Now I'm excited about feudal director giving me 20 bucks. I might go for my C class license next week. And now I beg for a super chance
I might go for my c-class license next week
Which is comprehensive algebra reading and writing and it's not like you think we're right
You have to fucking present arguments. You have to fucking back down
You're a professor. Yeah.
I think you probably would know more about this than John would, but I love the fact
that he goes, it's not reading and writing like you think it is.
What do you think I think it is?
You civilians.
Yeah.
You guys have no idea.
Just the idea of arguing with people that aren't there about degrees that you have.
I can't understand this crazy.
Only a dumb person would do this.
Yeah, very insecure person.
Extremely insecure.
Yeah.
All right.
Idea for a bonus show.
We got to get our hands on the C best test.
Oh, right.
Yeah, we've been talking about that before.
I want to see how hard this test is that just like,
it's a four hour test.
I want to see the exam. If you do judge. It's a four-hour test. I want to see
If you do it can I please be part of this
Be so much fun. I want to know how hard it is with the reading and yeah, I'm pretty stupid I mean, you know, yeah, regardless of what I do for a living. I'm not very smart
I really want to see how I do on this test. Well, you know what they say about teachers, right? Oh, no. No, I know
Yeah, I'm proof. I never refute that. You have to fucking present arguments. You have to fucking back them up and present arguments and then provide rationale. Can
you believe that? You can't just say wild dumb thing. You have to explain why you think
that's the case. Oh my god. You have to write
grammatically correct sentences
That's you also could have said you have to write sentences. That's just what people do every day
You have to spell words correctly sometimes not just for four hours
And everything else everything else
could never
achieve
Those kind of gonna find out like I have and it's ridiculous
You know and I'm not like look a lot of my friends at the pub are contractors. Oh, they sound like dummies
Look, a lot of my friends at the pub are contractors. Oh, they sound like dummies.
They probably don't have their four year degree
like Newdale.
Where you going with this, Josh?
Yeah, let's see where he's going with this.
A lot of them.
And plumbers, they have, you know, and electricians.
Oh, wow, these are just getting dub and dumber over here.
Wow, plumbers and electricians.
I'm like contractors, Some are roofers.
Yeah, right.
You know, they're smart,
but they decided to pick a trade,
which is admirable too.
I'm not putting anybody down,
but I'm gonna put them down
because they call me stupid.
And that insults my intelligence.
Sounds like you have downs why did he even break
up the contractors at the bar he's like oh shit they're probably gonna watch
this and some of the people who work there are bartenders there's like an
owner what do you mean dude so if you didn't think this could get dumber, this becomes the most childish argument in
the history of childish arguments.
Becomes?
My father went to Rensselaer, RPI.
It's one of the best engineering schools in the world.
My father has four degrees.
See, and that's what I'm trying to
hide. He's dead but and he was a World War Two vet. These guys don't have the
achievements that the Melendez have achieved. No. We're all adults and he's
literally using my dad as smarter than your dad. That's incredible. I can't
believe this is what's going on right now, and he's not the least embarrassed. No
It's not a bit. He's doing it's not a character that he's playing. This is John
It goes back to the thing. We always say if he had developed this character, it'd be brilliant
Which is why he's so mad at Ali G boy. He's wow, Ali G actually developed these characters that people think are hilarious.
And I'm just an idiot.
Chaka Khan writes, I aced the C best after partying all night.
Easiest exam ever, I believe.
Chaka Khan then wrote, I scored high in math
and got a D in algebra.
So I'm actually feeling pretty good.
Chaka Khan, I'm right on your level there.
I think I could do this test.
Is it algebra, math? I'm right on your level there. I think I could do this test. Is it algebra math? I'm confused
All right, so maybe we should stop making fun of John's intelligence because his dad had four degrees
Sorry, John and was a good point. That's a good point. Okay. I've really never heard an adult say that before I
Played this on the show yesterday, but it needs to be played again would that kill you Kevin oh?
I dribbled
emergency episode
I burped and I will tell you that uncle Rico was on it last night did do an emergency episode
About this very thing because watch this even dr. Steve was messaging me about this
I've never seen someone drool out of the top of their mouth before
The usually drool comes out of your bottom lip. Yeah, I've had this in slow-mo watch this closely
Like I haven't seen that since the movie alien yeah, crazy
How is there that much? Saliva this is why he's making fun of you gargling. He's trying to get in front of his own saliva problem
Maybe yeah, totally
Bizarre him doing that gargling. It's coming from a high school drop-up
Producer Chris is one of them. Well, I dropped out went to college a year early, so it's not really...
Oh, shit.
Same.
Regular doogie housing.
But you did say drop out!
Yeah, I dropped out.
Okay.
And then not long after that drooling...
Hold on.
Oh, no!
I'm mad at Producer Chris Roudal.
He closed his eyes eyes and just for that
I'm gonna make you watch this a clockwork orange style. This is the slow
version of this sneeze fit
Watch this one
Watch this one.
Wow.
It's so thick to this saliva in his mouth. It doesn't want to leave. It's like holding onto the glue holding them together.
It's like it's like that dinosaur that killed new in a
Jurassic Park.
But the crazy thing is I pointed this out yesterday. I never
once after he does shit
like this, I never see him grab a napkin or a paper towel or a Kleenex or something.
Like if I drooled into my own lap, the first thing I would want to do is clean it up.
Or if I sneezed across the council here, he got it all over the place.
He's like, well, that's over.
That disgusting discharge is just on the floor somewhere.
It's crazy.
Oh.
The cats will get it.
All right.
So the big thing that's happening in my world,
in the devil verse, is that John's
lying about playing lead guitar on his first album.
And it is now my mission to prove this album right here. Believe this is
Atlantic Records. I think that's what he says. This is an album
that contains many guitar riffs and solos. I don't think John
played them. I don't think John's a very good guitarist. He
claims to be a good guitarist, but he can't prove it. He hasn't
shown us that. And people are catching
on to this. It's my goal over the next few weeks to prove
this. But I already have a feeling just based on the way
that this is getting to John that it's true.
You know, because because I don't have a guitar here to
play really. And he was saying that, you know, I said when I
get to Florida, you know, I'll take the ax out, but I don't have my rig here.
And then some idiot on dabblers that just came up is saying that,
oh, John didn't play the guitar on his album. Like, oh, okay. We've never seen John play ever.
Okay, we've never seen John play ever. Yeah, okay. Okay
Yeah, yeah, okay, you never saw me play just go to the fucking
Fucking every fucking video that I've been that's been out there. I mean, there's actually live of me playing
Which is how you play guitar there's live there's live
Wow, so we have watched the video of John playing guitar and Conan O'Brien Yeah, and it was terrible. It was pretty bad. It was really bad. It was amateur at best
Which is why I think that maybe the studio
Maybe brought a guy in maybe a ringer. So sometimes on his show. He will just
Play he'll be watching his own clips yes wouldn't this
be the time to play one of those clips this would be the time and refute
everything he was gonna play the music video but then he's like I'll get a
copyright strike okay but he probably could play Conan we've done that on
this show before and no one's better than I had it so yeah you would think so
but I really think he's nervous about this one. If you listen to my solo on King, I'm shredding, but I don't have it here.
I don't have it on YouTube.
So he explains that he has a solo on a song called King.
Both Andy and I looked it up before the show yesterday.
We couldn't find it.
So I don't know.
I got to find out what this is.
He's got to lighten up on his keyboard that's why it's fucked up
NG I know
Well, it's not on this album the song King
That's what I should do I should make up a song no one can do it I play
You know cuz it's on my other computer, but I'll play you and and then you'll hear me shred there
You know August sure and it's me
fucking that was oh, yeah, I
Can hysterical I've been on stage since I was fucking
fucking
five
Six yeah, that's not the brag you think it is having a recital when you're five doesn't mean you're a good guitarist
At any point in your life idiot. Why does he think that that's a flex? I?
Was in a school play neat
Something else I use a requirement my elementary school school that if you're in fifth grade you gotta
get up there and do something.
I was the best recorder player, better than David Tell.
He thinks he's so good with playing two recorders at once.
Have you seen David Tell's new comedy special yet?
It ends very bizarrely.
Every person, he taped recorders on everyone's chair, underneath everyone's chair. So everyone in the crowd has a recorder and he teaches them songs. Oh
Did not the best joke writer of his generation I was like weird way that this special
gimmicky, I would have gone with the side whistle personally I
Think that's the more comedic instrument. Yeah
What do I know? All right, Doug, I've kept you here a long time. It's time to reward you.
We got to catch an alien together. My friend, are you ready? I'm terrible at these games. I
even play them on my own for fun. That's all right. Listen to the show. I'm awful.
I'm turning that around today. We've only got three players against card if we have to concentrate
Yeah, we need you we need you to help us out with this one. Yeah back to guitar gate for a sec
Yes, let's talk about that card of what's your take on guitar gate lead guitar gate a fan sent me
the the notes from John's second album mmm and nowhere on the album is he listed as a
Guitar player what so that prune I think that proves either Nowhere on the album is he listed as a guitar player. What?
So that proves, I think that proves either
he did play the leads on the first album,
pick and it was so bad they didn't let him near a guitar
for the second album.
Or he's not a guitar player at all.
He's just humble and didn't want the credit.
Now I gotta look up and see if he's listed as
the guitarist on this.
But he does always make it clear
Go to my first album
Says my first notice there my leads
Well because he had the big budget for that one
The big studio. Yeah, it just says John Molda's guitar and vocals
This is a question mark for some reason. That's the first album. Yeah, this is the this is the first album, right?
No, I don't think so. Oh, yeah. I'll talk my way out of it. Oh it is
Yeah, it also has your favorite gypsy morning
The side the card can play on guitar
Such a bad rep to it so bad. All right. It's time for everyone's favorite
game show
to catch an alien
Are you ready to play?
to catch an alien
Okay, I don't think we want and I was said that we did well you guys weren't alive
Well, let me let me tell you why I was alive
Let me tell you why let me tell you why let me tell you why
China has never been to the moon. They're planning to go to the moon for the first time in
2030 China
Why would it take China till 2030 to go to the moon? Why haven't we been back there a second time?
Why hasn't anyone else been to the moon. Why haven't we been back there a second time? Why hasn't anyone else been to the moon?
Anybody got any answers? Well, I could tell you that today as a matter of fact, Japan landed on the moon
Oh fuck. That's a fact. Okay. I just got destroyed
Okay, but you think we why do you think we did because I don't think we did I do I wasn't alive when it happened
I heard it. I saw I don't think we did. I do. But I wasn't alive when it happened. I was alive.
I heard it.
I saw it.
I don't know how they would create such an effect in 1969.
Stanley Kubrick.
Yeah, there's a whole thing.
The China thing got me.
Because I said, if China is only planning to go there in 2030, and you're trying to
tell me that our dumbasses went there and when
Why haven't we been back then
They say they you know they
We didn't have to go back again because we've been there. What the fuck we want to go further than the moon. Oh
We'll build a program to go further than the moon. Oh We'll build a program to go further than the moon to Mars when you want to lift off from the moon then to go to Mars
What it might be like up there as if I know
Yeah, you know a lot of like I said you start pulling at those strings and there's a lot of questions like, you know that the original film was deleted.
They recorded over the film of the moon landing.
So everything that we have is not an original, it's a copy.
So you can't do the forensics on a copy of something, but you could do the forensics
on the original.
But NASA- But they did that to did that what did Tommy say next here are your choices number one
to Photoshop some stuff out B to preserve the original next to hide technology from Russia
For to better the quality and
Lastly to start the conspiracy
to catch an Alien Wow, this is a tough one. I always go first. I want it to be number one Photoshop some stuff
So that's what I'm gonna say. What do you think Doug? I'm gonna go with hide tech from Russia
Yep, that's pretty good one to
producer Chris
Better the quality sounds kind of stupid
These are really stupid starting conspiracies free to want to for them. Yeah, that's true
There's something but you could do the forensics on the original but NASA did that to better the quality
Recording over it no they recorded over it like
No, they recorded over it like, hey, we're filming over it.
So cheap.
Better than quality.
Yeah.
HD.
No, it's all digital.
But when they had finite space on film,
NASA decided that it was worth recording over that.
Like, my mom didn't even record over, like,
our Christmas videos from when I was three.
Like, how is NASA not able to afford that?
So NASA doesn't have the original film? It and I've seen NASA officials yeah that's all for
this time come back next time to find out if you have the fake moon landing
skills enough like Japan America to catch an alien sit Eugene sit good dog
It's like you know, we're dealing with anti-gravity and I'm thinking what it might be like up there as if I know
Well done card if well done producer Chris
Almost got you. Congratulations on that.
I like that no one called him out when he goes,
well then how come we never went back to the moment?
It's like, well they did a bunch of times.
I believe everyone around Tommy has to pick their battles constantly.
He's like, oh well.
Honestly, I don't know if he went to the moment.
We'll talk about it on the way home.
I don't know what the deal is.
It does seem really weird that they can't figure it out anymore.
But I was loved, like he was like, I don't know. I wasn't born yet.
Yeah. Yeah. What?
Who knows if I wasn't there?
I wasn't born before the Beatles, but I know a lot about them.
Whatever. What are you going to do?
All right, Doug, thank you so much for coming on the show today.
People should check out good times. Great movies.
You guys are still doing it.
We're still doing it. We're still doing it nine years in still amazing
Oh, I love it. We are we are in ape rule right now. It's all monkey movies
Monkey shines so is called on media
There's a secret Dom DeLuis movie called Going Bananas with the kid from Over the Top.
I remember that one.
There's a movie called Link where a monkey watches Elizabeth Shue take a bath, which
is incredible.
I don't remember.
Yeah, so check it out wherever you get podcasts.
Sounds fascinating.
I'm always fascinated.
How many episodes are you up to now?
We only do it every other week.
We set manageable goals and we never missed one. We're coming up on
250 260 something like that. I mean don't act like that's a small number. That's amazing
There's so many freaking 80s movies. They made a lot of movies back then
I know and people people are constantly like oh, so you did Ghostbusters now you did Goonies now gremlins now
Why are we talking about those so we could talk about going bananas? Yeah, good point
Yeah, we all know we all know everyone's taking goodies and grab ones. Yeah, exactly. That's great
Well, thank you so much for for coming on the show and it's always a pleasure
Cardiff of course is here to promote hack a mania comm promo code w ATP
20% off your tickets come see us in, May 31st through June 2nd.
My buddy Drew sent me a note, he goes,
you know, Carl, what you should do is promote
other things that are happening in Vegas
to entice people to come.
So there's-
Strippers.
Strippers, there's poker.
There's sports books.
You wanna watch sporting events and bet on them?
And there's drugs and alcohol
Yeah, there's a lot of around on the streets and drink you can and they I believe they have the world's biggest
Marijuana dispensary in Las Vegas. I saw a special about it and you're talking about go to the punk rock museum
Can we do both how much time can you spend in a giant dispenser? I know half hours too much. Oh, that's real purple
We get it
You really want to appeal to your audience Carl talk about the giant M&M story. Mmm. Oh, yeah, that's what people are into
WTP
Guys George's again next time it might be the episode we find out once and for all who are these podcasts sleep well everypony
Great show good job everybody great job everyone
Let's check out some voicemails that have been coming in. Oh, we got a net news first. Let's check out the net
From Facebook Q Bonti's Mac and tire opines
I do not understand how mukbangs are popular seems like the type of thing where you've seen it once you never need to see
It again Travis Wilson takes it further
They're the worst videos on the internet including including the dark web. Patrick Gleason,
literally the worst noise humans make, disgusting.
Shane Earl gripes.
Is it possible to have Lucy dubbed over?
Her voice is like vocal fry concentrate.
Terrible.
Go fuck yourself.
Rajvir Sahota makes a strong argument.
Are you seriously complaining about Lucy's voice
when Andy's there?
Benjamin F. Cohen riffs.
She can do accents.
Ask for the mid-Atlantic.
Get on it, Mikey D. weighs in on the Elisa Jordana saga.
Well, shame on this dude forever
thinking he was going to nail this.
She's been very public about her dislike of sex.
What the fuck else would she possibly be good for?
From Reddit, fixit403 writes,
why would you pay $200,000 to get into a relationship with an asexual woman?
I'm not fucking her as we speak, and it isn't costing me a dime.
Hot Education has this take.
She uses the asexual line to deter any guy she doesn't want to fuck.
100% on her spare time she's getting air-tighted by three tyrones.
There's plenty of women just like her. She's not unique in the slightest.
Chief Big Poo posts about the dark side Phil rabbit hole.
I usually hear you on Drew and Mike, but I'm so happy to see the level one podcast finally made it.
It used to be him rambling and begging for an hour, and then he decided to just call it a podcast.
DSP to me is like stuttering John. He has quite the rabbit hole to fall down. He's just an overall shit human being.
From YouTube, BKim412 shares,
DSP is propped up by like five people who donate to this clown.
He quits games if they don't bring in enough donations.
He's literally Stut Joe without the 15 minutes of fame.
RidiculousMan3,
been following this piece of dumb shit since 2015.
He's the gift that keeps on giving.
A real keyboard warrior too.
You should watch his side-scrollers interview.
It's a fucking masterpiece.
XMiden?
Carl reviewing DSP?
My worlds have collided.
Swickful offers?
He's also been eating off paper plates for years for every meal because he's a mature
adult and doesn't have time to wash up in between streams.
Fred reports?
He gave away empty game boxes for his holiday gaming giveaway. Mario Faker warns, congratulations you've entered the
snore tax. And from Twitter who are these podcast shares? RIP OJ. 2000 yards in 1973?
The man could not be stopped. Eric Zane is outraged. He killed two people you
filthy animal. A queef in the night wonders. You ever kill your wife and
boyfriend shit way off. So Manela chimes in. The two
people he killed could not outrun him and West and Mark
plays us out with. They say he was surrounded by family when
he died. They released an official statement. We didn't
do it.
Very good. I have to say Darkside Phil was a lot to try to capture in a review segment.
And I saw a lot of people were actually pretty positive about our review of it. You know,
there's a few things we missed and some lore that we didn't get to, but we'll just have
to check in again. We might have to check in again I think there's a lot there
I think there's a lot to talk about with dark side film the problem with guys like him and King Cobra
JFS that we cover on w ATS is that these guys spend eight hours ten hours a day on the internet and then
there's
20 minutes a month
That's really interesting that you and I just who has the fucking time for that shit
Not interesting like Alisa Jordana body cam footage. Oh is that it's been it's out is that out?
Yeah, you know what I think I saw VTL posted right she was trying to was she trying to trade sexual favors with the police officer
It's not get arrested
No, she was hanging out with some homeless guys when the cops came around. Oh, I saw something else then
All right, I'll check it out that thank you very much
Hey rumor out here on the left coast and saw it on the internet saying dr. Steve attended key bitties
Freak-offs regularly.
I doubt that's true.
I'll have to ask him.
Do you think Dr. T would be up front with us
if he was part of these Diddy freak-offs?
I think he would be.
Damn it, what didn't Diddy do?
I think he'd be bragging about it probably.
This is a fun idea for a show.
And burger.
Hey Carl, just listen to that little mini bonus you put out there. And if you're ever doing a win a date with Janessa or whatever the fuck your name is,
let me know.
I want to be on that.
Thanks.
Bye.
You mean Alisa who I think he feeds at least a Jordan.
He wants to win a date.
Watch what you say.
Mind your peas and cues around her.
She will smash you at the phase. Hey Carl, when you were talking about dark side, Phil, today
you said there was a guy who was influenced by him. He started his own YouTube channel
where he plays games like real shit. Lee, do you have to know the name of it? Is it is the channel perhaps? Let's get it out
if it is that guy is
fucking
Hilarious he tries to find exploits and games and basically plays games as long as you can
And it's commentary is pretty fucking hilarious. You should check it out sometimes for some laughs
Very good, but I was just wondering if that was the one what the show see you
No, I don't think it was that one
The one that I was talking about was this is how you don't play and it's on the evil AJ 2010 channel
these videos are a little old now, but
They've gotten a lot of views people seem to enjoy them quite a bit
Hey, Carl. This is Kevin your old podcast mate, and this is how I talk
Hey, buddy. Listen me and the fellas have been talking we've considered doing our own podcast
That answers the age-old question of who are these podcasts?
What and we're calling it
These are the podcasts it's gonna be me
that Joe Tom Myers Oh and a lot of other of our friends so check this out I don't
like that over there
also the whole time I'm just waiting for Cobra Commander, so kind of a let down.
Yeah, you're right. If Kevin's gonna call into the show, I demand...
Oh my God, it's going down!
Or at least a good fop.
Yes, the fop.
Or the chacaroni pizza bit. I love that.
I still think about that.
For a pizza, I've heard chacaroni.
Quick plug for my buddy blind Mike on the episode of the blind mic project that will be live on YouTube at 10 a.m
Sunday morning. He interviews Tom Myers and
He asked Tom some tough questions. I got to give him credit for that.
And he lets Tom know why they goof on him and why we goof on him and stuff. But what's crazy about
this interview, multiple times he asked Tom to come on, who are these podcasts? I'm like,
I don't want Tom Myers on who are these. I'll play the Tom Myers I want on who are these podcasts.
I don't want him on my show like that's a
Style show that we do you don't book our show buddy. What are you doing?
This is very I thought you were gonna say the craziest thing is when Tom Meyers told a very lengthy story about how he was drunk Driving in his parked car once
That would be great
Tom they asked Tom Meyers about the bong hit transplant joke
And he says he's retired.
He doesn't do anymore.
They're like, that should be your closer.
Oh, yeah. Right.
That should be like, I know that Dice is like to do nursery rhymes anymore,
but it's like you got to get the people what they want at the end.
Yeah. Just get it out of the way somewhere.
Yeah. But Tom goes, I wrote that joke back when I was still drinking.
I haven't had a drop of alcohol since 2011.
I'm not a 20 year old fret guy anymore like the joke wasn't funny whether you're
drunk but I'm not surprised it's a good interview check it out yeah what's up
Carl this is Paco I just want to let you know dude I just ordered a shirt well I
ordered a few days ago from W a T P or who are these
guys? You know, um, and also I got a couple of stickers. I got the stickers in, but I
didn't get the shirt yet. Hurry up and send that shit. I'm getting a little pissed off
waiting anyways. Thanks man. You know, I know you're always holding it down and shit, you
know, fuck it. I said, I want to send a special shout out to Kroger, man. I missed that motherfucker.
I later. All right. Thank you for buying merchandise. Who are these. to send a special shout out to Kroger man. I missed that motherfucker. I later. All right
Thank you for buying merchandise who are these calm? There's a link to our merch store
You too could be walking around in a very fashionable t-shirt
Put some stickers on some random bumpers
There's still a card of sticker on my bumper of my car
Wasn't me no, I don't listen you I saw the video
we love to get some money taco and our audio engineer decided to go out there and shove a sticker on my car
OJ calling into the show. I guess this is just before he passed probably
Well, hello, Carl. This is OJ. Hello, OJ
Well, hello, Carl. This is OJ. Hello, OJ.
It's Wednesday here in Vegas.
And I was wondering, I saw your show was going to be out here.
If I could get in the contest to date Lucy Typebox.
Give me a call back, Carl. It's your boy OJ.
Well, OJ, only if you're not the jealous type.
Because, you know, Lucy doesn't like to commit to just one guy, so hopefully that, only if you're not the jealous type
Lucy doesn't like to commit to just one guy so hopefully that's okay with you
That's suck. I'm going out to Vegas and oh, they won't be there. No. I know yeah
Here either
Well a good point
Look out no look out on that. I can't believe it. I know how do we die that at the board?
It's funny all the all the the song the OJ songs We know and love from the Stern show and from Opie and Anthony
Every surface this week and it's funny watching it on Twitter them getting credited to very different sources. Oh really? Yeah
Yeah, I saw accrediting Stern with Anthony's and I was gonna say I saw anthony, um talk about oj and
I forget
OJ is the reason why anthony became
anthony from opi and anthony
He wrote a song
About oj simpson getting the electric chair before back whenever we all thought he was definitely gonna be found guilty
and uh opi loved it and they brought him in to play it live. And then he stuck. So he owes his
career to the juice. Let's separate 1973 with 2000 years. This is Califatart. You think you can do
what Celia does? You mean just sit there and babble and they get noises and words like that
comedic genius? I don't believe you. And if you don't do a bonus episode or an emergency episode proving that you can do that then
I'm gonna call bullshit
Also, if you don't do it, you're gay. So you don't want Jen knowing that do you?
I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that. I'd rather suck a dick than try to do his show like crystal. Yeah
The worst I can't delve cow photographers being serious or not right there. He's not a pretty serious
Yeah, he sounds like he's a Chris. Yeah a fan for some reason or he wants you to suck a dick
No chompers at this point
Succo he should be demoted to just cringe of the week cringe of the week
Okay, I could play the that jingle before we talk about it.
John, that'll make it better.
Appreciate the feedback.
Hey Carl, Gary from San Diego.
Hey Gary.
Well, have you noticed for the last couple weeks,
John's been exercising, walking,
doing a lot of, I think, pushups.
Then he said, of course course he took a stress test
Thursday for his heart perfect results yeah so in order to celebrate great Vince
the lawyer sent him a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
he said he ate the whole thing that makes a lot of sense after passing your
stress test he had a whole bucket of Kentucky fried chicken. Anyway,
rock and roll. Yeah, it's almost like his good buddy Vince. Actually, he didn't list Vince in
the names when he was talking about all his friends. Oh yeah. Interesting. It's almost like
his good buddy Vince doesn't really like him very much. I mean, to be fair, and I am not defending John here, but when I go
Yearly and I get my blood taken and everything like that when those tests come back clear I get hammered that night
Do this is a first for WTP call of Duty the video game called into the show.
Hey, Carl, this is the video game franchise Call of Duty. Just wanted to call and tell you that Darkseid Phil is trash at this game. He sucks. He camps
out. He tries to get the easy kills. He definitely uses game G to get ahead in life
and in video games.
He's a loser and we do not like him on this platform.
So Call of Duty out.
Take shit at work, bye.
Thank you for your call.
Yeah.
Do you say take shit at work at the end there?
I think so.
Someone posted a song in our subreddit
and someone emailed it to me too.
That's actually very funny.
Maybe I'll play it on the show one of these days.
It's all about taking shifts at work.
It's not bad.
All right, last call.
Good morning, it's Paul in dirty jersey.
Who are these marketers?
WATM, only on the Carlisle network.
BK's got new chicken wraps, but no one BK they might taste like crap.
BK always tastes like shit.
We're the Mexican cooking it.
It's BK.
The marketing department is gay.
Carl.
Thank you.
Fuck you.
Bye.
It's calling stuff gay making a comeback.
I don't think it ever left on this show. Yeah, well, that's true now this show, but we don't do that in June or July
Obviously not during pride months. No
What do you call them then
Sexy alright guys. Thank you so much for being on the show. This is a lot of fun today and
I'll talk to you again very soon Doug
Yeah, when you're when you have more time and your internet works better. No no no this was great for you to pull all the clips
And I don't have to do anything. We can just keep this up. It worked out quite well. I'll come back every week
All right, see you guys. It was a lot of fun. Good to see you buddy
Alright, see you guys. Appreciate it. I rewatch i Carly.
The i rewatch i Carly girls.
They watch that quiet on set. They had some spicy takes so maybe maybe you should revisit that I That was a great episode those two that's that's insane
Jokes
No, I love that ending like that's
Amazing I love those girls who roll their Rs. Card if you ruin it every time it really does something to me
I had no idea I was into that but I really dig it
the Spanish girls, uh, I
Will burn they do those two stone chicks. Yeah
Jesus I gotta go. This is getting stupid. Bye guys