Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep515 - SmartLess
Episode Date: May 5, 2024SmartLess is one of the most popular podcasts in the world. It’s safe, it’s silly, and it stars actors we all know. For the most part it’s a harmless show that incorporates their famous friends ...for a vapid conversation about nothing. This week they had a big get - Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden. Get ready for the most over-the-top ball washing you’ve ever heard. Andy Q Public joins the show to help explain why politicians don’t deserve our praise. Then we check in on That Reality Show where Lisa Boswell explains why she talks slowly while dropping some more timeless catch phrases. Baseem has a new penis stretching device that you can wear all day. Finally! Howard Stern is doing all the damage control he can do after the ball washing session he had with Joe Biden recently. Stuttering John had Elisa Jordana on his show this past week and thankfully Gonzo called Elisa and was able to interview John. It’s an amazing exploration into John’s narcissism as he explains that he’s never had a falling out with a friend that was his fault. Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st – June 2nd – https://www.hackamania.com/ use promo code WATP for 20% off https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://www.twitch.tv/thurmatinee Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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We've got discussed it was just beforehand
Let's get into the show hosted by Jason Bateman will are not and Sean Hayes and who doesn't love Jason Bateman and will are not
both
fantastic guys.
One of these things is not like the other.
We've been on some really great shows
that we've all enjoyed.
Now, you guys know I have a thing about actors
trying to be personalities.
They oftentimes can't pull it off.
Often they can't, but who knows?
Maybe these guys will.
I'm gonna start off with the cold open to this episode
Ellis how you doing?
Getting in okay, or do is there cavity searches?
Went back
For seconds and they said we don't we come back
Thanksgiving for seconds and they said we don't come back Thanksgiving yeah you're clean yeah he said can I come back tomorrow to get cold leftovers good stuff guys so I like
will our net I like will our net as well so what's happening here is they're
doing an interview with three
presidents, Obama, Clinton, and Biden. So this is a big get. Yeah. They came out
just this week and so in order to get past secret security or whatever they
have to do... The secret police. The secret police guys that guard over that. Well I
do want to say though, baby that joke
Is maybe the as funny as it gets all downhill from there?
I agree does not well get my I guess so the gay guy likes the full cavity search so much
He goes back for seconds, and that's like Thanksgiving, and then it's cold the next day
I don't know if it really adds up, but if you say so I'll take your word
Get a lot worse. Yes, it is because check out these improv skills. You know Sean did a play on Broadway last year
No, yeah
It was call go get me Oscar. I think
right, right, or and it was
wasn't at the
Topic wasn't it with the top of Chico
That's why it's all downhill from the intro yes, it was at least a succinct joke
Yeah, okay fair enough all right if you're gonna go by the rest the episode that cold open was amazing
Fine you can
This is critiquing Sean Hayes socks length
And what's happening here is that they're in New York and I some of them live in New York some are only there temporarily
And so they get into a lot of spicy talk about what clothing do you leave in your apartment in New York?
And what do you take with you when you go back to LA so relatable?
Yeah, lots of fun stuff like that and this and there was just the one just the one pair of socks that you stole from
A youngster you were babysitting or I know you don't know where the skin ends and the sock starts
You know it's fairly high-class guests today. You didn't think you'd go with I with a full-length socks
I was gonna doesn't have socks at all. I know but the way to go. I know I should have gone full-length. Shawnee. What do you decide?
How do you decide what close stay here in your apartment in New York? Like what's the math that you do on that?
This is such a waste of time
So the first ten minutes of this show is these guys just wasting time
I guess that's what they do on all these episodes because they bring a guest in it's called banter Carl
You may have heard of it. I have heard of banter. I've seen it done better. Yeah, I've heard it done better than this
They just decided they didn't want to wear their suit like Howard getting dressed up for his bar mitzvah to meet the president
Oh Howard wore a funeral suit because he wasn't sure what was gonna be happening
All right, so one more clip before we get into it, before we get into the interview.
And they make a joke about the three tenors. So these are the three presidents.
But there's other trios that you could potentially interview, I suppose.
And this gets hilarious.
Didn't the three of them get together for the last election a bit?
Didn't they sort of...
You're thinking of the three tenors, I think.
These are not.
By the way, we have to do them.
We don't do the three tenors right after this.
We should just start, let's start the interview
mistaking them for the three tenors.
So when do you guys, have you been in rehearsals long?
Because the Radio City show tonight should be getting
the acoustics. We're so excited for the summer warm-up life. Yeah
Will there be solos or you guys just sing together than I remember?
And your accents are fantastic
Get it cuz they're not the three tenors. They're actually
presidents of the United States
They don't even probably sing at all. You guys get it it so I go they wouldn't even warm up so that
Question would be crazy
They'd be like well warm up for what do you mean? We're not tatters
That's the times that timestamp where I would be turning the podcast off. I know right there. I'd be like dick. All right
What else I wonder their YouTube video of this and then I actually have video format of any of this is just audio and
Like one of the first comments is it starts at 10 minutes and 15 seconds
But don't waste your time is not. Yeah, if you're really here for the great political discourse
Skip the 10 minutes in all right, so let's get into it. Let's get into the ball washing session that is going on here
This is how the interview starts off. I want want to start but you know out first of all
This is huge for us and what an a massive honor to be sitting with the three of you looking at us
It's so bizarre crazy
Questions for your staff and your questions are only gonna grow as to why you did it As we get into it and okay first off
I'm really annoyed and it's happening with the Howard Stern and and now this this worshiping politicians
It's like unamerican or something. What are we doing? Why are we acting like these people are so much better than us like oh
I'm in front of the king
I have to dress appropriately and act appropriately and they're even saying like oh my gosh You gosh, you guys are going to be sorry. You agree to this interview. Why you're
about to like kiss their asses for hours straight. What are you talking about? Right. Who would
be like, why did we do that interview with those guys who love us in every single way
and didn't have a single criticism? Why would we possibly do that? This is and I'm also
wrapping in Howard Stern interview with Biden that happened recently and Biden
actually, Howard had to address some things that I have some clips of that coming up in
a little bit, but it's almost and hear me out.
I don't think this is crazy.
It's like North Korea, the way these people are sucking up to the leaders and can't criticize
a single thing.
It's like you have this guy who can't finish a sentence as our president. I'm not even talking about policies or anything like that. And everyone's just trying to show
how vibrant he is and how amazing he is. They're laughing at all his jokes. This guy's great.
Why are we doing this? I know everyone's afraid of Trump, but it's crazy that we've gotten
to this place now where if you're at a certain party, then everything you do is perfect.
And there's no criticism to be had. This is definitely campaigning. It used to get on
a bus and go around the country and visit all the towns that you wanted to
vote for you. Now they're just doing it via the internet on a podcast so this is
fully a democratic marketing campaign strategy that is an echo chamber for everything Biden.
Which is a waste of time!
But I do have one question before you move on.
Is this in person? Are they all in a room together?
Or is this like over the internet, like Zoom call or somebody there via the satellite?
I assumed it was in person because they're talking about how they traveled to New York for this.
And I know Biden was in New York recently. Right, yeah, he was in person because they're talking about how they traveled to New York for this. Okay, I know Biden was in New York
Recently, right? Yeah, right Syracuse, right?
And so I assume that this was live because you heard as they're getting set up
You can hear them going all this microphone and they're kind of like sitting down
Yeah, because you listen to the beat the first half I listen to the second half
So I didn't know if they established that in the beginning and I don't know why it's important
but I'm I'm getting a picture in my head of exactly how orchestrated this all is. Right. And it's
fully, fully orchestrated. Is the answer. Of course, yeah. And that's why I don't know who would listen to this.
I know Smartless has a big audience. If I see they're interviewing these three
Democratic presidents, there's no way I'm listening to that no matter who I vote
for. What a waste of fucking time. It's not gonna be compelling. Yeah we're just gonna wash the balls of
these guys and not have a real... it's not a real conversation. And the interview is
just beginning at this point and I'm already sick of our hosts talking over
each other. Yes. It doesn't fucking end. Yeah no they they all want to talk to
the presidents they're all excited about it and they have some hard-hitting
questions. It's not the first time that you three have combined forces to really kind of
Do what we all need you guys to do which is?
Keep you in office
But does it does it strike you as like how is it even necessary to have half a president?
How is it even necessary to have half a president campaigning against the other guy?
It is shocking to me that it takes the amount of effort
to be competitive against someone who just,
in my opinion, is just running for the wrong thing.
Can you repeat the part of the stuff
where you said all about things? That question was so absurd because basically Jason Bateman is saying Trump is so awful
We could run a cardboard cutout
Against him and the cardboard cutout would win because everyone hates Trump. Nobody likes Trump. He's the worst guy ever
Joe Biden you're like a half a guy, but you should still totally win easily
Yeah from just having half a brain at this point. Could you imagine like what kind of question is that?
topic time question
Your opponent is a complete fucking moron, please discuss I
Think Lisa had better questions for birds at dinner time than that
So it's just so embarrassing how out of touch these guys are
Don't talk
politics if you can't figure out why someone would vote for one guy or the other. I always
say that. If it's completely lost on you, why someone would rather have Trump in office
than Biden, don't talk politics. Figure it out first or something. It's not that hard.
I have one more and then I want to hear what you picked up on Andy. And this is just an
example of our current president just kind of trailing off as he ought to do and you notice that will our neck saves them
here and it's hard to communicate even today when you do accomplish some
improbable things yeah and but he well and we'll say that mr. president not to
cut you off but you have accomplished a lot of incredible things and all three of you did in your presidency's did amazing things
Yes, all of you. I just want to mention. I'm not just ball-watching Biden here. Yes. Anyone think that's the case
No, no, no, no Clinton amazing Obama amazing Biden perfect in every single way. Yeah, you guys got that
You want to write it down?
Why would you repeat that but you notice though that and they you can sense the look he gets in his eye to when he realizes
He's lost his train of thought yeah, yeah, you know
Anyway, yeah, I don't mean to cut you off sir. I know this is very rude of me
It's not it's not just will and like the host Obama does it too later. I have a clip where it go
I do it. You can tell that like Clinton is you know probably
Along in the tooth is he yeah, he's got to be older than Joe at this point or no
Oh, I don't know oldest. That's a good question. You know what I always assume
Joe Biden's the oldest man in the room
But yeah Clinton definitely sounds like his best days are behind right but
That all you had on this in the first I know I have a lot more, but I hand it over to you, okay
We can skip ahead where Obama wants to talk about how MAGA is like snake oil marketing campaign
You know the polar opposite of what this is Clinton is 77 by the way. He's younger than Biden. Yeah, okay
What the fuck I know how crazy that's Biden sounds like Jimmy Carter sounded like last year. Yeah
Yeah, it's fucking nuts, but that's been my problem with every president for the last ten years
Plus that what I just want to somebody that represents the country that is not embarrassing to me
Yeah, like light-skinned. Yeah
that is not embarrassing to me. Yeah, like light-skinned. Yeah, no, I
Went from European to set
back to George W Bush just not being able to put a sentence together and then it's just been a parade of
Embarrassments ever every year. Yeah, so that's really all I'm asking for is
For too much. I know obviously we can't get too far yeah but you know Obama is still trying to figure out the dynamics of the host and I even
I am I'm like who is who's the funny one who's the worst between will and Jason
and Sean and clip one okay suddenly you've got the internet and social media
and the people are being flooded with all
kinds of stuff and they don't know how to sort it all out.
And when people get scared and concerned, then the appeal of somebody who says, I'm
going to make it like it used to be where you don't have to worry about it and men or
men and women know their place and that message can sometimes have some appeal. Look, again, I love this country. I am so...
You better.
I'm Canadian.
It is the best country in the world.
You've only been to two countries, but...
But it's...
He watches CNN International though.
It's true.
Because, you know what?
I've been to Canada and the US.
I agree with that. And by the way, it's a phenomenal country when it's at its best
Yeah, okay, well even that when it's at its worst you can turn on that Geo and see
Every other country that has a population as big as ours just looks like a giant farmers market with no stop signs
And you're like what the fuck's going on there?
These guys are... Don't stop, stop!
That's the trucker in them.
That's my best description ever.
It's true!
They're just like running to tag each others terrible jokes.
Yes. There's definitely nervousness.
Sure.
You can tell they're a little bit in over their heads.
They're a little nervous to be talking to these people.
Which, I don't know what you would be, all they do is...
Ball wash. The entire fucking time. Nervous to be talking to these people which I don't know what you would be all they do is
Ball wash. Hey, I fucking die. I know you don't want to bring up the cigar in the pussy and make this interesting
What was she into some freaky shit, huh?
And of course Biden is gonna you know when you say oh when the country is at its best You know we have a lot of problems, but so Biden has to jump in and be the cheerleader
that it's best, you know, we have a lot of problems, but so Biden has to jump in and be the cheerleader
and the roast master general in clip two.
Not how you, no matter what you say,
no matter how you characterize it,
there's not a single country in the world
that does not think we're the single most
consequential country in the world, not a single one.
Including our enemies.
Including our enemies, I mean across the board.
Especially across the board.
If there's a problem around the world, if there's a natural disaster, if there is a
crisis, nobody's calling Moscow or Beijing expecting them to help them.
No.
Right.
Everybody's looking to Washington.
But beyond that, here's the deal.
Look, think about it.
When Trump got elected, he said he's gonna go America first, America alone.
He, look at who he talks about as best friends being,
Kim Jong-un.
I'm serious.
Hey listen, he won two golf championships last week.
The regular championship and the senior.
I told him when he won, I told him he came into
the upstairs oval, we bumped into each other,
he said something about playing golf
I said look, I'll give you two strokes if you carry your own bag
So move over Jeffrey Ross, yeah, I know so Biden's taking out dotards over here
This is a thing that I'm noticing cuz I've been watching a lot of that reality show
We'll get to some clips of that today as well
Where the people who hate Trump are now just like you can actually
Challenge Trump on a lot of things that he says and does but they're making shit up now like why would you over Trump?
He's best friends with Kim Jong-un. Yeah, and Biden's a million. No, I'm not joking like you are you have to be they're not
BFFs I doubt they're texting you with each other all night long. I know talking about so stupid
Are you ready for the soft softest question of all time? I well, yeah, let's see who has the soft
Okay, all right check this out. And my question is
Considering the amazing work that all three of you have done and especially the what you're doing right now president Biden
It's so difficult. The messaging is getting is so tough to to get the message out there because there is so much noise
What can we what can you do?
Just keep talking about it.
We just keep, we have to connect with people
so how they're being affected, why it's happening.
How do we communicate how amazing you are to everyone?
I don't know, maybe like doing more interviews like this
that nobody wants to listen to.
You're not gonna win anyone over with this shit.
You know what I mean?
No one who was gonna vote Republican or something here's this and goes oh, yeah
These are the greatest guys ever in history
Yeah, how about navigating a flight of stairs and was staying on your feet that might be helpful
I'd help people decide you're worth keeping around so now Biden's gonna talk about his accomplishments
We got the chips and you know, I've traveled around the world and said why don't you come and invest in the United States of America?
We got 650 billion dollars invested offline and on the chips act we got about
56 70 billion dollars and they're employing people and it just start it takes wealth to kick in now
The fuck did he just say and they're all green. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What did he just say?
Well, I don't know. It sounds like there's plenty of money to ship off green. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What did you just say? Well, I don't know It sounds like there's plenty of money to ship off overseas meanwhile
Yeah, you know half of California is living in the middle of the street, but that is true
We got all the money we got all the money in the world over here
No, but what are you doing with it?
Biden's claiming that he went around and got people to invest in chip manufacturing
And I don't think he even knows what that is in the u.s. To the two to two hundred billion dollars like there's just
No record of it anywhere, and he's just stumbling over his words
He doesn't know what the numbers are fifty six seventy it takes a while to kick in
Vote for me cuz things are gonna kick it anytime
The iron dome cuts a lot of money
But since you played that clip about the questions, yeah, why don't you skip to my clip 10?
Okay, see which question is worse die hard. Is it a Christmas movie?
President Biden if there was if you could if you could resurrect one person from the past
To come hang out in the Oval Office you update them on the current state of things
What's their advice?
Who would you who would you bring in to to give you some perspective on now?
I didn't clip the answer because we could possibly give a shit
Is just playing it's so safe this whole interview and you know, I
Sean and Bill are blowing each other. They're not you they're completely checked out at this point
And so yeah, you just found those questions to be some of the worst ever. I was speaking on to a political
Discussion Jason Bateman being really dumb when it comes to politics and again. I like Jason Bateman
I think it's a very funny guy. I've enjoyed a lot of the projects
He's done over the years, but this is so fucking stupid, but are they but are they it seems like they're only watching
Certain things reading certain things it everybody's so siloed in the way in which they receive information
Could it be as simple as you and
Don't you've got very smart people to suggest
what it is that you do, but could it be as simple
as just granting an hour to Sean Hannity
and sit down and go, you tell me why the people
who follow you think I'm not a good president?
And just answer his questions, call his bluff,
I mean, because the information information the facts are all there
It's particularly for that that that group of people what you do is so much better suited than what the other
Agenda is talking about so is it just a matter of just getting on that network
I don't get it first of all you guys are exactly right
Julian Lennon write that question?
Holy shit.
I know you got really bored during it and stopped paying attention, but the question
was, and literally Jason Bateman I think really thinks this.
They're talking about how there's all these people who are getting the wrong information
and they're all the Fox News watchers.
That's the only place where there's misinformation in the world is Fox News.
And he goes, what if you went on Sean Hannity's show and then just proved what an idiot Sean Hannity is
and win over his entire audience?
Now, A, that wouldn't happen that way.
These guys are so stupid, they're just like,
yeah, this guy Sean Hannity's such a moron.
We put Biden on there and he would crush him.
No, that's not what I would ever.
Biden would have to be able to recall those facts
to bring them up and then be able to counter the other facts that the other side has
About what they're doing wrong right? It was just like you'd have to know
To get crushed on there, and you know they talk about and I don't want to get political on here
But it's just so annoying to me how much ball washing is going on because when they bring up facts
They say things like and the unemployment rate is the lowest it's been in 50 years they
change the way they calculate the unemployment rate it's very easy to have
a 3% unemployment rate we don't count 20% of the population in it it's like oh
we don't count those people anymore oh cool then everyone's employed
neat and so I just found this really annoying because thankfully Sean Hayes
actually jumps in right here because Jason Bateman just over and over again
like we know the truth these idiots don't know
That's why they're voting for the wrong guy. So Sean Hayes says to Obama
Is it possible that we're also in an echo chamber and we're just hearing the one side of things the difference though is
And then Jason touched on it. There's a difference between facts and opinions. Yeah, and the one thing that
our side
Still pretty much sticks to is the facts
You may not agree with whatever is in the New York Times or whatever's on MSNBC
But generally they're not gonna just make stuff up. No, right
What I've been saying be seen as it makes shit up like Rachel bad house said the vaccine would stop the transmission of
COVID or the Russian collusion 2016 election COVID came from a wet market. What are they talking about get political?
How do you sit there say MSNBC doesn't make shit up they've been busted so many times
and
Jason let's you forget these guys are just figureheads of
Like a board of direct, you know, not a board of directors
But there's a lot of other people that are making the decisions. It's just the face of the country. They're not that smart
They're not know that great, correct
So politicians settle the fuck down
And don't think that he's gonna save the country by going on Sean Hannity.
Oh, that was the one time I was actually happy with Opie when Opie and Stuttering John did a show
together and John was like, this was before the election, and John was like, oh my gosh,
you gotta vote for Biden. It's gonna be so amazing. We all gotta get out and vote for Biden.
Opie goes, he's been in Washington for 50 years. You think's gonna make a fucking difference. Why why would you think that for something?
You know finally Opie's like all about a real take
Fuck take words. I was like yes, that's very good. Hope you're figuring it out for one. Yeah
I'm sorry. I'm annoyed with Jason for just having a statement and trying to make it sound like a question. That's bullshit
Yeah, you're right a question
Everything you guys do is perfect and so amazing
How do you do it?
All right, anyone else do you pick up on from this okay speaking of how stupid Jason is now It's his turn to toss a 42 mile an hour meatball over the plate
Joe just you know knocks it out of the park with the,
maybe the worst question I've ever fucking heard.
Clip three. Do you guys have
an apparatus,
a mechanism whereby
you can contact one another
like this without anybody
connecting to it? Like a bat phone?
Yeah, it's called a smartphone.
Do you have one of these?
Can you, but can you? Can you do that?
Great. Okay.
Do you guys text each other?
Yeah, I mean like emojis and stuff.
I don't text much, but we check up the phone and talk to each other.
I love that.
With no one else listening and no one else connecting the call.
We can't be short.
Biden just uses Snapchat, I'm pretty sure.
We're not positive on the cyber side. But does President president about like he picks up anything else hang on I'm gonna add president Clinton
Yeah, and a merge calls. That's a little too advanced, right?
Okay, you might need a 25 year old aid to help on the merger thing and I'll I love somebody else
I mean one plus one plus one makes ten with you guys
Six of these guys definitely fucked after this right
That that little fantasy that they were just living out like if you guys ever talked on the phone together
You guys ever have phone call conversation. What's that like it's like this? Yeah fucking nonsense
It's nothing done. Yes
Sean and Jason and will are just going around the tithes. Okay, no, it's your turn to ask question Now it's your turn to ask a question
So do you want to ask cuz I didn't listen the whole thing then he would ask anything about policy cuz in the beginning
Oh, yeah, go how many questions you have is like I got like 18 somewhere about policies. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay
I got I got one about that great
asinine but
And clip for Obama wants to talk about his old deep state illuminati parties
I used to throw for himself like do you all miss something specific about the holding office?
Obviously except for you because you're in office, but do you all miss something specific about the holding office? Obviously, except for you, because you're in office.
But do you guys miss something?
I miss not having an office.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What? I miss not having an office.
Maybe he's talking about the office. Yeah.
When he was in president, maybe everybody talks about Air Force.
That was Joe Biden saying saying I miss having an office
Yeah, I don't know what he has a fucking space cadet. He's in the oval. That's your office that oval officer there
That's yours your names out of that. It's not in there. They're in office, but do you guys miss something? I miss not having office
Yeah, sure marine one, yeah
It's pretty convenient. I won't lie
But I'll tell you the thing I miss the most is you remember those music concerts I used to do it
That you can basically invite anybody. Yeah
And you have this concert and I mean we got you know Stevie Wonder yeah, yeah
Paul McCartney everybody will show up. Yeah show up. Yeah, they'll still take and they've got
They do these rehearsals. Mm-hmm the night before a lot of times and
You can kind of sneak out and you could just sit there. I'm probably president you can see soundcheck
And you could just sit there
Presidents you can see sound check
The radio on today that was that great a perfect and he felt like he was backstage Oh, yeah, Mick Jagger practice with BB King or something on a blues night. I
Do miss that so good. I'll see I miss the fact they don't play a song when you walk in a room anymore
Sure, oh, we know that I was lost for three weeks
Hail to the chief. He's the chief and he needs a link he is the chief so
everybody hailed like crazy hail to that so bill finally wakes up there but you
know Obama is it noon already yeah Bobby used to make BB King and Paul McCartney come play private party
I was used to think it was ridiculous that Trump would still throw these railies around the country after he had already won sure
That's what you do before you win. Yeah, you know a tour anymore
Yeah, what's your own? It's over stop throwing yourself a fucking party
But it turns out Obama was doing the same thing with three doors down And you know what I mean Trump's got kid rock and three doors down right he's got BB King and is forcing Jack
Nicholson to come to his tiny desk concert in the old
Fucking ridiculous
Well, I'll give him credit though
Hey, I think someone mentioned that in the clip. He could probably still do that if you wanted to
Yeah, I'm sure all the people would show up for him. But I like that. What do you miss about being president?
It's like well the parties
Go to China sucks, but be be cool. What do you think I'm gonna say morning briefings fucking blows?
Alright, so this is a weird thing that they say because they're talking about
Losing the 2016 election everyone was blown away that Hillary didn't beat Trump. It was it was a very big surprise
I remember that Wednesday morning going to work. I was just like what the fuck happened?
Yeah, and so this is an odd thing to say and I would have loved to pretend that the election outcome wasn't
What it was right that was painful, right? Yeah, right, but we said well
here are the facts and
There's a system of government that
Transcends that is more important than whoever
Wins this particular election. We're gonna abide by those facts and stick with democracy right right right wait
You made the decision to keep the Constitution in place
Yeah, and let the guy who was elected to be president sounds like he sounded like right there
Well, you've never heard a deep state guy talk like a deep state guy until that because you know
He's talking to the guys going all right. Should we just off this Trump guy or should we rig the election?
I think what he was saying is what you don't do is sick all of your fans on them
And try and overturn the election and have the vice president murdered because he didn't
You know throw in with you at the last minute
Curious about like what the other choice was gonna sound like they were contemplate
That's what the other choice is
All right, I want to jump to my clip five so I played that because no
You know just it kind of dovetails off of what you were just playing but let me tell you something serious
This is one reason bill finally wakes up that I so badly want
President Biden to be reelected.
What I really miss is the job.
Not doing it, I'm glad, I believe in the two-term limit strongly.
But what I learned was on the worst day, when nothing was going right and problems were
everywhere, there was still something you could do that would make somebody's life better.
I love that.
There is no job like that on Earth.
I love that.
And I want somebody
Who appreciates that. that I trust
to make the most of that every day.
Yeah, thank you.
Because there'll be bad days
Thank you. no matter who gets elected.
But he'll get up and he'll start thinking about that.
And I think his opponent will be thinking about...
Himself.
Yeah.
I agree with that part.
But there's no other job where you can help other people.
I know.
I think there are.
I guess my point of that clip is that this is the same ineffectual shit that the Democrats
tried back when Hillary ran against Trump.
They trucked out all these celebrities. Oh, it's Howard Stern
It's Jason Bateman look everybody's signing off on Joe Biden and middle-middle-america
Can't relate to that in any way. No, no, they actually hate it. Yeah
It didn't work
Needs I know they're using the same playbugs
I mean anything Trump is there these are all rich white guys if anything that Trump is gonna give them tax cuts
That's what he does so they should be on that side. That's just my opinion. I don't know what what
What do you want out of a president?
Well, you want someone who's gonna get up and change someone's life every single day
Which is what Joe is doing apparently
Here's another dumb thing real quick Jason Bateman claims that this is what was going on under the Trump administration
I wish these people were just grounded in reality then we could have a conversation, but they say the craziest shit
I'm sorry just on that point president Obama. Were you were you surprised during those five years of the last?
administration how how quickly that
that protection and passion for democracy was diluted how prime the
country was to just sort of dissolve and and get lazy with it and let it go what
is he talking about so annoyed about how he asked questions yeah it's again it's
a statement it's the worst, yeah.
But his statement was that under Trump,
democracy was dissolved.
What the fuck are you guys talking about?
The system isn't the system.
It hasn't changed.
It's so ridiculous.
How'd you get elected then, asshole?
Yeah, right.
It doesn't fucking make any sense.
One more clip and then I'll let you finish it up, Andrew.
Because Joe Biden's not really out his game these days I would have to say but fortunately for him he's at the easy
laugh Factory today so he's going to remember a joke that he made when he's
at the gridiron dinner and this was pretty well publicized he's gonna
repeat it everyone in the room knows it but it still gets a big belly laugh on
everyone look you know like I said
At the gridiron dinner. You know this guy came up to me asked me
Great look and I you know I told him Donald. I can't help you
All kid to say we can make jokes about it, but everyone knows
But seriously folks.
Stop everyone!
I didn't clip the other one.
Somebody wrote in that the guy
that's with the tan is
terrible at golf and it's supposed to be Will Arnett.
It's like, oh, hardy fucking hard.
Okay, get him off.
Real great misdirect. Good stuff.
But Biden is gonna tell
the smartless audience what he
thinks they want to hear in clip 6. I need a commitment. I have an
administration that looks like America. I have more women in my cabinet. I have
more of appointed more black circuit court judges and every other president
combined in American history. I've kept my commitment on putting a black woman
on the Supreme Court. I've had an opportunity to go out and get the best people. And by the way, I sometimes pick the phone and ask
these guys who they think are the best people. And I'm looking for people that most of all,
though, not just are good, but care about what they're doing.
Whereas the other guy is only hiring people that won't talk back.
And they refuse to say Trump's Biden is so old that sometimes he'll let it slip
But they everybody else refuses to even bring him up by name
It's like a pet well president Roy did a bad job, okay
But yeah, well you did such a great job with your cabinet
It really just explains why my five dollar McDonald's meal is now twelve dollars. Thanks for the
Trinklation he said your female minority camp. He literally said two different things
He goes I appointed nothing but people based on their race and their gender and then he goes and I got the best people
Which is it? Yeah, it's one or the other. It hasn't worked out in any way
Yeah, we could we could use the NBA analogy everyone always does it's pretty fucking obvious
What's going on right? All right? What else did you pick up? I had a campaign promises for a second term
Let's talk a little bit about what Joe plans to accomplish with a second term in clip 7
I think they should be focusing on a couple things and number one
We're gonna in the second term God willing we're gonna make sure that we do something about gun violence in this country.
Yes.
Oh, yeah, you'll figure it out.
Finally.
The idea that we allow salt weapons to be sold in magazines with 100 rounds is just
bizarre.
Yeah.
Well, President Biden, I'm so glad to hear you say that, because that was going to be
my other question, which is, the Democrats never said we want to take your guns away.
Absolutely not.
You never said that.
No, by the way. You said, we've got to be smart you gotta be smart about what you just don't need to kill a deer
It's a car 15 the second amendment right which I when I taught law school the second amendment wasn't absolute ever
You weren't able to have a cannon when you are you know right decide?
The Liberty is water with the blood of Patriots. I mean, it's a bunch of crap
The liberty is water with the blood of patriots. I mean, it's a bunch of crap
Well strike to Joe because if you think swing states are gonna be won over by
Limiting gun rights and debating the usefulness of an AR-15
That's not what people are worried about right now. Yeah, and I the magazine like I don't want to take away your gun I'm just gonna make a lot more regulations and make it more difficult to know if you're actually abiding by the law or not great
Thanks for that a pack of coyotes is eating my chickens. I need an AR-15
Okay, that's what it comes down to but people are worried about the cost of gas
Yeah, why the real estate market is being bought up by corporations and foreign entities wait?
You know what the fuck is gonna happen, and you know how much is gonna be the cost of living in 2025 not?
Everybody knows school shootings are bad, right?
That's not what I'm voting for the president based on the president not gonna stop it correct exactly so
Joe thinks that he's explaining that people are people no matter. You know whether they're Democrats or
Republicans wow we're all on the same team
But he acts the veil actually slips here. He exposes the game and clip eight
Oh back where we started which was the whole idea of
The messaging and what's good for people and we're all so hung up on are you Democrat? Are you blue or red?
Yeah, but that's what a campaigns are for. Look, the average voter wants to do the right thing.
But how much bandwidth do they have for politics?
I mean, they've got to pay the bills.
They've got to take care of their kids' health care.
They've got to make sure the school business is all right if you have children who are
school age.
I mean, there's just so many things I have to do
That's our job now and that's the point
I was trying to make when you were so we're not gonna get political as far as like taking sides
But I'm gonna get political in the sense that that's what politicians are counting on they're counting on you don't pay attention
they're counting on you being ignorant and lazy and having mouths to feed and
Then you're just like you please take care of it for me
And they're like yeah, yeah, just give me give me
Your money and put it some power
Some of it over with what you want me want me to do with it and the rest of it's gonna go over here with
What I want to do with it, and it's just like yeah, we know what you're doing
But nobody wants to be the person that says hey, let's uh let's install term limits
No, you know everybody else except me right you know I not my guy everybody else should vote out there their reps
Yeah, and it's just like you know I got better things to do then worry about that. Okay. Well system continues to be broken
Yeah, that's why these conversations do nothing. Yeah
Such a waste of fucking time all right um I got two more one. This one does nothing for anyone. It's such a waste of fucking time.
All right, I got two more. One, Obama wants to take credit for giving, and giving credit for managing the economy,
but there might be some exclusions to the list here in clip nine.
The economy grew under Bill, it grew under Joe, it grew under me.
Sure, there's nobody else you want to include in there?
Oh, whoops.
When the fucking, when the Monopoly man is president,
and he's telling everybody that they're gonna pass go,
the economy was doing okay.
Right, that's very true.
Okay, it's the one thing that I will give this guy
that we're not gonna bring up, nobody say his name,
but maybe the economy was the one good thing
about the country at that time.
Well and also getting out of wars and actively trying to bring people home.
And it's like America first is a horrible policy.
It's like that's what every country should do.
It's worry about themselves first.
That's the whole fucking point of being a country.
What the fuck?
Why is that such a weird thing?
But we're not going to bring him up.
That's funny.
That worked out.
He also didn't bring up Biden though either.
Did he? no he said
Okay, but last one
Sean finally chimes in with a sentiment that both Democrats Democrats and Republicans can all agree on oh good
Well, I've been called as queer as a three dollar, but anyway
Thanks for chiming in with that
All right, so I hate to do this.
I'm wondering if we should do that reality show first.
Yeah, let's do that.
Then I'll talk about Howard Stern,
because Howard Stern's talking about Biden as well.
And I know we're losing people by the moment here.
Too much political talk.
I got some stuff that is gonna bring it all back around
to be fun.
Okay, good, let's thought with that reality show because
That reality show is such a hoot. I'm having so much fun with them. They're getting feedback on their show
now of course this is the show that we just discovered hosted by Helga man and Lisa Boswell and
Lisa Boswell is
Fan fucking tastic. I got to give credit to my boy Troy
Smith who just put together this art for us. We're saying the shit we are. One of my favorite
sayings from the shit we are from Lisa. And so this is Lisa addressing people that say
she talks slow. It was called to my intent in the past couple of days that I'm slow.
Helga. Yeah. You talk slow. Yeah. You, it's where you come from.
I got a figure. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, yeah.
Your, your, your mother's ancestors come from the Rocky top.
Well, a lot of people don't know this and I don't really make that big a deal I'm not going to lie. My ancestors come from the rocky
top. Well, a lot of people don't know this and I don't really
make that big a deal out of it but I've had a stroke. Actually,
I've had three of them. One is a flat line. Oh, Jesus. I didn't
grab the clip. I should have. Why didn't you talk that way?
Yeah. It's true. Yes, I know we compared that but now it's making a lot of sense so are you brought it up?
We know or Lisa's had three strokes and but she's also southern
Well, we wouldn't we wouldn't love her so much if she hadn't had the stroke. Oh, we love it. We're not
To talk like this. Yeah
But don't they talk about how, because how we keep saying,
look, it's not just the strokes though. I mean, you, you have a Southern draw.
It's, it's fun. People like it. It's a good time.
You got it. You got the beautiful honey smooth Southern draw. Yeah.
It's
let's show her.
We both know what that means. Yeah, I love that because we learned that in Tennessee as well. Yes. That's what southern people say to each other. Just
go fuck yourself. Yeah. I've been thinking about it since then and I wanted
it on my board and now I got it. Okay, beautiful. I love it. So despite the three strokes Lisa Boswell has had
She still understands Trump's a bad dude
But even with that even with that I
Still am NOT blind enough where I cannot see who Donald Trump is
Who he is?
We know who he is.
We know who he is. He used to be my landlord.
Security in that building was horrible. I lost everything. I used to be a Republican.
So this is hilarious because they're like, Trump's horrible and Helga comes in with,
he used to be my landlord. Now, I don't know if that's the right terminology for it.
I'm sure he owned the building, is that what you mean?
Yes.
Yeah, I mean he owned the building,
but then she goes, I never know what to call these people.
Then she goes, I lost everything,
and the security was terrible.
So, your apartment got robbed, and that's Trump's fault?
You might be a little too close.
Your landlord's not your security guard.
Right, you might be a little bit too close the situation lock your door next time and I've seen people get burglarized before they don't take everything
They take the things they want it'd be really weird. They took everything
Weird way to go about like fucking movers show up takes like five hours be a weird way to do it
So let's find out why they hate Trump so much
Aside from the fact he's a bad landlord, I'll give him that.
The purglars take the size 14 high heels? I don't think so.
Probably not, if I don't need that. But I don't have that same personal
experience. I need to know why I shouldn't vote for Trump if I felt inclined to do so.
You know what he wants to do now? He wants to make all these detention camps and put brown people and black
people in them because they don't look or sound like he does.
Really?
They want the, he wants nothing but a pasty white people wandering around the
streets. He doesn't want to see any, any, any diversity at all.
Master race.
That's just like Hitler. Yeah
Well, then he's certainly not getting my vote I don't want detention camps for brown people it's terrible Yeah, I didn't realize that was his policy
I hadn't heard him say that but if they're telling me that must be true. So he's not running on that place, you know
No, yeah, right. He doesn't lead with it at the rallies, that's for sure.
He kind of whispers it in between.
But Lisa's got it all figured out.
Wow, I had no idea.
So I guess for that, we have to get Biden re-elected.
But I need more insider information.
I feel like you're not telling, it's too surface level.
Okay, he wants to kill everyone who's not white.
That seems pretty bad, but what else about Trump should I know
that would get me to vote for a guy who's half dead?
We gotta point out the fact that the emperor
is stark naked.
He's naked, he's butt naked.
And bat shit crazy.
He's butt naked and he's the one that stinks
You smell that smell that smells like shit. That's donald j trum. I mean people people can't stand to be near him in the courtroom
He stinks up the courtroom
And uh, I think he's got celiac disease. How many people how many of you people would like to be?
His friend his buddy now
As bad as he stinks
Before I forget I had an idea there's this ridiculous Polly Shore song called Lisa Lisa
Okay, yeah, put out the 90s might be a good parody opportunity for or like a bumper for this
That'd be good too So this is where I think and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm not a big into politics
But they kind of lose some credibility if they say hey this guy
Wants to lock up all the black and brown people and they talk about killing Jews and all these things that Donald Trump's gonna
Do then they also say and he also farts a lot
Would that be like kind of a moot point if you're like the next Hitler and also flatulence. Yeah
Lead with the aroma thing and then
I've never heard anyone say like well, you know Hitler did a lot of bad things including farting in public
He was also just rude
It's also
All hearsay it's a courtroom full of people and somebody sitting four rows back on the other side of the rooms like that kind of
Stinks in the might of a buddy one of the brothers told me that he was farting
Yeah, it must be true
And then I saw like he was sitting there and you kind of like shifted from this side of the seat to the other side
So obviously as bleeding hemorrhoids in his underpants. It's like what do you hot? How do you arrive at this conclusion?
All right, so Lisa and I I'm
Blown away by this apparently Lisa used to be on the radio. Maybe that's why she's so good on the show
Yes, she has the broadcasting experience, but really and truly I truly, I used to be on the radio.
I used to talk fast.
I had a land speed record.
Let's see what, let's hear your radio voice if you can do it.
No.
No?
No.
No.
No.
No.
You can't do it anymore.
No. No. Not anymore. I think it's better now. I have a feeling. Oh, yeah
I think this is much better, but I love the idea that
Lisa used to be a fast-talking guy like hey take a colors color Ted. You're gonna get a sticker back
We have a concert coming up this weekend
She had some amazing quotes from the Friday slumber party
She had some amazing quotes. This is from the Friday slumber party episode.
And she had some amazing quotes out here.
Because I wouldn't, I wouldn't,
I wouldn't scratch your ass for please.
Even Hogan's tickled by that one.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't scratch your ass for please.
It's fucking great.
And that this one's also pretty fun
Those are some fucked up women. Yeah, look at them. They're fucked up
By the way, it's been pointed out she's staring the reason why she's looking what she's looking she's staring into the video screen monitor She's watching yourself. She's watching yourself. Yeah, and yeah, let me play that again in case you missed those are some fucked up women
Yeah, look at them. They're
fucked up. Yup. Yeah. And uh one of the examples of that we
played on who are these socials? It was a thumbnail for
the latest episode of who are these socials. Someone turned
me on to Helga Mann's Instagram page. Turn me off to it. And
there was a uh bikini peg. I won't I won't put it up here.
Don't worry. I'll I'll save you but how it was out mowing the lawn in big cowboy boots and a bikini
And so I to make the neighbors upset how gets very excited that we found that those guys at w
W a
T he found the bikini picture
A T P found the bikini picture. I'm sorry, I think it's really I think it was great.
It was yeah.
It'll probably become a meme now.
That bikini picture will probably become so I'm going to have to when I mow the lawn today I'm going to have to have somebody sit down in a chair with my phone and and
video it
Video me mowing the lawn some of you weren't work boots
At least he's got my vote for sure check your inbox
Helga I bet Vinnie may have sent you an image or two
Just an aside yeah Helga without the wig yeah, and then the typewriter really drives us home
It's got this William S. Burroughs thing going on. Oh, okay. Oh
that was the only thing I was thinking about when they were because I was looking through the Instagram page a little bit for funny photos and
The place they live in is gross.
There's cats running around everywhere and a dog.
So they do live there.
They don't clean up.
Well, Helga lives there.
Okay.
It's Helga's house.
I don't know if Lisa lives there or not.
But when they were talking about
how Donald Trump smells like shit,
I can't imagine what it smells like in this house
that you guys are in.
When we first covered this last week,
someone in the Discord discourse that I can smell
this video
Apartment is the line is that over under oh?
Okay, so here's here's the difference I
Think John has a wall unit so at least an air conditioner can filter out the I don't think she even has an air conditioner
Because there was that clip we played where Lisa goes it was 83 degrees
So I have a feeling that it just reeks and there's just a hot poopy mess
People poopy and animal poopy. Oh
It's gotta be so gross
All right, speaking of poopy. I have one more
It's gotta be so gross
All right, speaking of poopy. I have one more
Clip to play on here and we're getting back to hot political talk. There's a lot of political talk on this show It's part of the charm. I have to be honest with you because I hear people
Talk shit about Trump, but not to this level
How many people actually rip their life revolves around whenever Donald Trump does, whatever he says. You talk about him every episode.
Mine certainly doesn't. Mine doesn't.
Mine doesn't revolve around any politician.
But why do you always interrupt the show and go today's day three of the Trump
trial?
If he were laying in the street, I would step on him.
I'd piss on him.
I'd fart on him.
He ain't worth my shit.
That's why I'd piss on him.
He ain't worth my piss either.
He ain't worth stopping to piss and shit on it. Yeah
It takes too long
It's like you always say I would never come on this show and go let's talk about what's going on in the Donald Trump Cuz I don't care about that
Wanna talk about right, but these two can't shut up about it. So you probably do care a little bit
Apparently there's a tie. I mean, I'm not that excited about Monday show
I normally I'm excited for the beginning of the week with these two, but apparently there's this Time magazine article. That's
23 pages long that it's all about how horrible a person Trump is and they think it's the greatest article ever written and they're gonna
Read it on the show. So yes, Andy to your point. I hear 23 pages. I'm tapped out already. I hope Helga's reading
To your point I hear 23 pages. I'm tapped out already. I hope Helga's reading
Yes play on that that's way too much all right, I think we need a palate cleanser from there
Andy what's our buddy Basim?
Penis enlargement expert that we brought to the Wednesday show Carl and I
Won that week with this character because he's obsessed with his cock. He's obsessed with how to make it bigger
He's obsessed with how to shoot the most come yeah make the
Better, but he also bought like 20 different masturbating machines. Yeah, then ranked them for us. Right, he tried all those. So that's useful information.
He showed you how you can go to Thailand
and jam a needle in your cock.
That's right.
So.
Sounds to me like you're the expert.
The video I checked out was him
advertising his new all day stretcherer machine this is a thing that you
Strap onto the end of your dick, and then you strap the other end onto your leg
Yanking your dick it's like one of the overalls
So we got all day stretching machines sounds like a torture device
Yeah Over your shoulder so we got all day stretching machines sounds like a torture device Yeah, but we've all got short disappointing cocks
And we all want to yank them all day and try and make them bigger
But the technology just isn't there yet Carl or is it I know all the girls always say long and thin
Since the beginning of my penis enlargement journey
I've always wanted a penis extender that I can use throughout the day without it interrupting any part of my day. I wanted
something that I can simply wear and forget about it. I didn't want to feel it
too much and I wanted to bother me. Unfortunately there hasn't been anything
like this on the market and if you're following me for long enough you realize
that I tried so many different ways to rig my own device from using different materials together however since now I have the
resources and I have the connections to be able to many that was some b-roll
scissors in a club he's like I've tried so many things I just want to point out
all I'm thinking in my head is he probably doesn't have any friends but
if he does and then they stumbled upon this video like I'm like, I can't hang out with that guy.
He's stretching his dick all fucking day. He's not going to the football game with us, is he?
I tried so many different ways to rig my own device from using different materials together.
However, since now I have the resources and I have the connections to be able to manufacture such device,
I present to you the new best all day
stretcher right here.
Whoa!
That's too much.
That's too big of a thing to wear on your pants?
Yeah.
Well thank God.
Beceives here with all the duct tape and paper clips and determination to give us the harg
we deserve.
Is that a cock stretcher you just happened to see me?
Oh, good news. give us the harg we deserve. Is that a cock stretcher you just happened to see me?
Of course you know the answer to all of my problems is here so let's check this thing out in action.
Now if you want to stretch and make your penis bigger in the most comfortable way this is it. I guarantee you there is not going to be anything more comfortable than this one thing that bothered me about all the oldie
Stretchers that I have tried in the past is that they were very thin
Of course
I'm sure the criticism is that's too thin not long enough not girthy and veiny enough
drawing
Veins
This needs to be thick and long.
That's the one thing I know about this device.
I don't even know what he's doing right now.
I was so unfamiliar with touching your-
I thought that was a collar at first,
and you'd have to like nod all day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, clip three, we're gonna get
into the features of this device.
Is first of all, it applies tension
on a smaller part of
your leg or where it's sitting and on top of this it's not staying in place
between your legs when it's very thin because there is not much friction so
what I did here is I made it pretty thick so that's around 10 centimeters or
four inches or something like that and what that does is it keeps it right
where you put it
so it doesn't move around.
On top of this, as you realize,
I made the Velcro really long and really thick.
And what that does is it holds it securely in place
and it allows you to stretch more tension
without it moving.
On top of this, what we also did is we added a nylon layer
on the inside, which also increases the friction between
Your leg and this strap and what that does is it makes it stay in place and not move around now
Said the same fucking thing three times. Yeah, he needs a spokesperson
You need a professional to like really get me excited about this
Yeah, he does need like a my pillow guy a sham Wow guy right? Yeah, yeah
Somebody gets me psyched up cuz he's explaining things like Velcro. I'm like yeah, I'm familiar. I know I don't
Did you make it ribbed or studded for her pleasure to?
long and thick I'd rather buy something from delete laws
This is such a waste of time yeah, so obviously if you're gonna make the ultimate device to yank on your dong,
it's got to be the best and strongest cable
that ever yanked a dick.
Another problem I saw with the other OLE stretchers
that I've reviewed is they never stretch hard enough.
So they normally have a very thin shock cord
or very thin rubber.
So what I did here is I added a pretty thin shock cord or very thin rubber. So what I did here is I added a
pretty strong shock cord and this shock cord can stretch from five to six pounds
you can also see how much you're stretching so as you can see it has
yellow dots and one yellow dot when it's exposed it's representing one pound or
500 grams of tension and so if you have three yellow dots exposed that means that you are stretching with three pounds approximately
or one and a half kilograms of tension Wow
What points you just gonna put a bowling ball right hanging from his car?
I think that's what people used to do though. I think he's the problem
He's trying to solve what he's showing this and all I can picture is him
walking around into getting snagged on an escalator
Drag around the Mall of America
What are you doing with this thing but also here's a dumb question
I'm very naive when it comes to this sort of thing sure you do you have to keep stretching your dick forever
Does it like go back or something like he's stretching his dick with all these products for all these years?
Yeah, I mean it's her point you go stretched enough like that like working out you got to use it or lose it
Okay, I guess I don't know
My all-day stretchers making me uncomfortable over here
But I could see producer Chris already has five of these added to cart
Getting his Christmas shopping done already but there might be some hidden costs in clip 5
this is a prototype however in the production unit we also have a place where you can hook
the slack of the shock cord so it does not move around when you're walking around the house
so this hook can work with any existing cup that
you already have. So you can hook it to pretty much any cup like this or if you like to use the
Pinney Master cup like I do you can also hook it to the adapter of the Pinney Master cup and then
you can use it with the Pinney Master as well. I wouldn't be worried about walking around the house
more like public. Yeah right that's what makes me embarrassing master as well. I wouldn't be worried about walking around the house more like public
Embarrassing I would imagine I think that's what he does though when he says all day. He doesn't leave the house
He just puts this on and stays in his house all day like yanking on his
Fucking but the point is don't forget your peenie master cup when you start mastering your peenie. It's not included
Yeah, I don't even know he's talking about I thought for sure
I think that you wrap around the head of your car
Okay, I thought for sure when you said was gonna cost more money that there's gonna be like Bluetooth or Wi-Fi
I want to definitely be uploading the length of my penis to the internet at all times
So people could watch the growth over time
No, you you know how it is you buy a piece of hardware
And you're just like oh, I needed an adapter that was
The cock adapter doesn't come with the leg strap
What he's saying there, and I would have to buy all the sizes just so no one would know
I'm not sure I'm gonna try all of these
All right last one you might think that it's all a hoax,
and maybe you are the type of person
that wants a consumer report.
Yeah, I'm skeptical.
So you're a picks or it didn't happen type of guy.
Yup, I am.
Clip six is gonna answer all your questions.
If you'd like to see me wearing it in action,
I've already posted the video on my OnlyFans page,
so if you want, check it out.
Oh.
God damn, this guy's onlyF want check it out I know I made the
mistake of actually visiting just like his regular domain website and he does
have a welcome video that I had to stop because I was getting upset so was your
wife yeah but I think I want to we should get Lucy to watch it and just
videotape her watch go to watch it and just videotape her watch
Go to bus teams calm and videotape yourself watching that Lucy. I like that
Write that down some bonus join his only face. Have you just seen the background Andy looking over her shoulder? We're taking notes. The Peony master goes where?
All right.
Let's talk about my boy Howard Stern because we did a segment recently where Howard had
Joe Biden on and did the interview with Biden and I had some criticism of it.
I thought just like the smart list interview, it was a little soft and wasn't a real conversation.
People disagreed with that?
In any single way.
Oh no, people agree with me.
Okay.
And in fact, there's this guy named David Packman
and he's got a couple million subscribers on YouTube.
He's a big democratic political commentary guy.
So Howard likes him
because he's
always talking about Democratic talking points. And so he saw
David Pakman questioning some of these questions that Howard
gave me. He's like this had to come from the White House.
Because one of the questions that Howard asked him, and I
didn't play a lot of the policy stuff on this show, but one of
the questions was apparently there's this new regulation for the airlines, that if they bump
your flight, they can't just issue you a credit, they have to
give you your money back if you demand that. Now, I know it's
life changing. I could tell by your reaction. Now, Andrew,
like blown away. Wait, Biden did that? That's fucking amazing.
That's one of the things that Howard talked to Biden about,
which David Pakman's on the show going, well, I guess the White House wanted to get
that across. People don't really know about that. So they asked Howard to talk about it.
But Howard says, oh no, that is not the case.
He was saying it was, it was upsetting to me. I saw him, I'm addressing it now. He was
saying when Howard interviewed Joe Biden, he, he, he said upfront a question to Joe Biden that
was clear, like he's speculating, he's not saying for sure, but he goes, there's no way
Howard would have asked this or asked about it.
It's clear that the White House set him up to do this.
It was something set up.
And I want to tell you something, it got me I went oh my goodness. I've heard a lot of this from people who say oh
The White House wouldn't have agreed
To do the interview if they hadn't written the questions or this kind of thing now I
Don't know what anybody's saying, but here's what happened
Alright, what happened?
So when Joe Biden came in, the day before John Hyne and I were talking about some of
the accomplishments that we admire that have gone on in the past four years, and John says
to me, hey Howard, did you hear what Joe Biden did with the airlines?
I go, what'd he do?
And he starts explaining to me that now now if the airline for any reason bumps you
the way it always was, you got a credit. Okay, he goes on and on to explain what this thing is.
Totally real conversation, I totally believe. So John Heinz says to me, hey Howard, you hear about
this airline thing? And I go, I don't know about this airline thing, John, what's that? Oh, well,
it's actually pretty amazing, Howard. Listen to this. What he I go I don't know about this airline thing John. What's that? Oh, well
It's actually pretty amazing Howard listen to this what he did was this is how stuttering John recounts conversations that never happened
I know this is so fucking fake. This is not prove anything
Yeah
No
It's actually proves just the opposite because there's no way that this is how John Hein and Howard prepare for a meeting
Yeah, right Joe Biden. It's so stupid and it's also
You mentioned it sometimes too if that if it never really happened it wouldn't bother you and you wouldn't even address this you'd be like
But whatever correct somebody says that I didn't do something that I did they're wrong and there's no reason to bring it up
but yes come on to the show and trying to justify it only
Spotlights the fact that they probably did give you a bunch of questions
that they do it all the time.
Everybody does it all the time.
Great insight.
Yes, correct.
Great insight.
Great insight.
You're totally correct on that because Howard spent so much time on this, on his show, you
could tell he's trying to, because he's getting a lot of backlash from this interview.
So yeah, right.
If he was just like, what are you talking about?
Of course, those are my questions.
It's a ridiculous thing because listen to how he says here.
My whole goal was not to sit there and talk politics.
I'm not into that.
I don't want to debate policy or what should be going on in the Middle East
or what should be going on with Ukraine?
I you know, there's so many shows doing that first off
I have to correct Howard on this howards way into that
He talks about politics all the time and policies and all this shit all the time
Secondly, he goes why would I do that? Everyone's doing that? No Biden does not grant a lot of that on their show
He's that he's not going anyone showing when he does do a show, it's just a ball washing fest.
So it would have been nice to like ask him some questions about Ukraine.
And, you know, how long are we going to fund this fucking war?
Ukraine's going to lose.
How many people are going to die in Ukraine?
It seems like a bad strategy.
It'd be a good question, right?
I don't know. Throwing it out there.
But now how are we going into politics?
You didn't want to ask any political questions
All right, if you say so so he goes up to talk about how people think Biden had an earpiece in with people speaking in
His ear you kind of fucking be kidding me. First of all, we controlled all the audio
Sure was nobody on and you were wearing headphones
You have to do on radio you got to wear headphones you can to wear headphones. You can't do a radio show without headphones.
And so anyway, I said, well, my only agenda is I would like to get to know the president
because I suspect he's a very meaningful, very thoughtful guy because everything I've
read about him is very, he's overcome a lot of loss.
And I'd like to talk about
that with him because I believe the president is the father of our country
and I think he's a good father. So again it's a little weird that he even
addressed that you know people say that he probably someone talking to his ear
no we control all of the audio over here I don't know why people are saying that
it's like well maybe there's something to it I don't know why people are saying that. It's like, well, maybe there's something to it. I don't know.
So he says his only agenda was he wanted to get to know
the president better.
And he's saying there's no coordination
with the White House,
but the fact that he had to tell the White House
what his agenda was tells me there was coordination
right there.
That's the definition of,
what do you want to talk to Biden about,
his policies in Ukraine?
No, no, no, I just wanted to tell him he's an amazing guy.
Okay, that's fine. See if I can shoehorn therapy in. This might be as
simple as trying to pull the taffy of this interesting thing happened on the
show, so why just leave it to one episode? Why not talk about everything that
happened even when after Joe Biden's left all over again? How many times did
Stuttering John talk about the prank Trump call, right?
You know after it already happened. He might just be trying to parlay this into more content
I would have talked behind the scenes stuff. Well, maybe yeah, and I mean it's about as funny as a stuttering John Frank
But yeah, I think it maybe he's just like got a shit to talk about and some some people are just like I was kind
Of interesting that day. That's probably true
But no, they definitely there were no scripted questions for this this totally came from John Hein. Oh shit
How are you? He's a good father figure and he cares
That was my whole pitch to the White House. They didn't script a question.
They didn't have me bring up the airline thing.
I was impressed.
I was like, well, there's something my audience will like.
You know what?
Now, if I take a plane and these fuckers cancel my flight,
I don't get that bullshit credit.
I get my money back.
How often does that happen to people?
How often is it gonna happen to Howard?
Never. But I just love this thing where it's just like people could all relate to when their flight gets cancelled
And then they're not gonna take another flight, so they don't want to credit
They just want their money back that probably will never I mean it happened one time
During the pandemic because I was an idiot and thought that we wouldn't shut down the country for a year
And I just fucking booked flights thinking that we could actually move about the country like we're free or something. You know I
hate airlines so and so this is relevant to me but I can't get past the very idea
that a president in an election year is going on a radio show with a guy who has
a reputation about kind of doing whatever he wants maybe not so much now
but there's a long track record of people getting,
you know, submarine by Howard Stern,
and the very idea that the president's management,
campaign manager, and Secret Service
would walk in there without some kind of game plan,
and lay down the law with Howard Stern,
and XM as a company,
and for you to think that I'm buying what you're selling saying that that didn't happen is
Insulting to my intelligence. It would be done really annoying Howard. Shut the fuck up. Well, yeah, no listen to this
He said I'm into doing it
Whatever your agenda is bullshit. Yeah, so exactly what you're talking about
That's not even smart if Joe Biden said no sit down with you for an hour and a half
I don't care what we talk about whatever you want to talk about that's not even a smart way to go about it
Yeah, you obviously want to know what we're gonna be talking about what the tone of the interview is gonna be
He must be very thoughtful because he's certainly not verbal
Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this about the airlines. All right
Yeah, so that's Andy you're saying all the things that I was writing down in my notes. Sorry. No, no
Yeah, I'm glad you're picking up on this as well
because saying all the things that I was writing down in my notes. Sorry. No, no. I'm glad you're picking up on this as well because how could you possibly think there
weren't any parameters? Things would go off the rails so quickly and for a guy
like Joe Biden a sound bite gets out and it could end his campaign. Right. That's an
election year for that. The wrong sound bite could fuck everything up. Controlling everything.
Right. So you're sitting there with Howard Stern. You have to make sure that
that's not gonna happen. If he walked in with no prep, he doesn't get
my vote.
Yeah, right.
You know, I was really, quite frankly, envious of the closeness and the support that he got
in his life. And I wanted to, really wanted to portray that, but most importantly,
I wanted to say to the audience, whoever was listening,
here's a guy who can answer questions and speak.
He's not a guy who's got one foot in the grave
who can't answer a question,
and I also wanted to see the emotional connection.
Okay, so that's very telling right there,
and it actually goes back to the smartless interview. You have these celebrities who hate Trump, are all about
the Democratic Party, and their goal is to prove that Biden isn't a complete dottering
fool. Yeah. He just said it right there. He's like, no, I just wanted to prove that the
guy could have a conversation and he wouldn't just sound like a complete moron the entire
time. Like how far, how low is the bar to be the president of the United States?
How sad is it that that's something that needs to be illustrated to the general
public? It's like hey look this guy can actually put two words together in an
interview so much so that we have to do it on multiple shows. Right and Howard
needs to be that conduit to make it
happen and so does Jason Bateman and it was probably gonna be a few more
podcasts he's gonna make up here like I said he's on his bus tour it's fucking
insane yes he's old of course he's old we know he's old we do know he's old yes
but the guy sounded so connected on that interview it's so emotional so
human what that I wanted that to come across that was it that was the agenda
that's the only a pre-arranged sort of conversation I had with the white if
they were scripting the questions wouldn't that have been a lot different
oh yeah but but as far as this statement about the airline so I'm glad that Howard moved away from that because again
Robin's not helping no Rob is never on the same page
You know she goes yeah, if they had scripted it would have been a lot different hours. Oh, yeah, how?
How would it have been different there wasn't a single hard question asked in this if Howard sent that to them for approval
They're like we were waiting our own, but no this is fine. Yeah, do that. That's fine
Yeah, the trickiest question was trying to get Joe to remember something. Yeah, and he made up a fucking story anyway
So it mattered so I just thought that I'd love to know one example Howard of
A question that you asked that if they had no one I had a time they not definitely wouldn't said no to that
There's not a single fucking example. It's so vanilla There should be one like if yes if Fred and Jackie were involved wouldn't there be some kind of like funny question about
Hunter Biden or you know yeah or Jill's tits or something something how saggy are they?
Yeah, how hard is the bra work in these days? I've got a good question. That's the trick though
Isn't it you always have one question that they're saying oh no
No, and then you slip the rest in correct
Yeah, you know that's gonna be one question on the cutting room no there isn't well. That's how you know it's all in it
Yes, correct. How you know it's a line of bullshit, and so I was talking about how before the interview started
They were just having a conversation with each other before we hit go live the president
I had this beautiful conversation about
Grandchildren beforehand that I wish had been on because it was such an emotional conversation but you know that that's it hey you know that's it. You were
having an emotional conversation about his grandchildren did he acknowledge
the other one in that conversation? No wonder you want that
on the air because there's actually a lot of controversy over Hunter's illegitimate
kid that Joe Biden wouldn't acknowledge for years. And now finally with the paternity
test everything, you know, emotional conversation was over not being able to ask that question.
That might've been the one that was just like, yeah, now that would have been interesting,
but no, that that's the one that didn't happen. So Howard addresses all that.
Then they bring in Alex Jones. Now, I love Alex Jones on the Howard Stern show. It's
one of the best characters on there. And of course, this is their way of showing that,
yeah, if you think that there was something crazy about this interview, you're a nut job.
You had to be a right-wing extremist to think that there was an earpiece in his ear that
he knew what the questions were going to be or that the White
House had something to do with the parameters around the
questioning. And so they make it ridiculous. Hold on. Oh my god.
It's a right wing commentator Alex Jones, conspiracy theorist.
Yes, Alex.
Howard, do not listen to the haters. Do not listen to Pac-Man.
I want to come here.
I want to congratulate you.
Your interview with hologram Biden was fantastic.
I mean, I don't know who was controlling him, Klaus Schwab.
I don't know if it was Bill Gates in the other room.
You could barely tell that there was a joystick controlling him that he was controlled from
another room.
And the lips looked fantastic.
So beautiful, fabulous job, Howard. looked fantastic. So beautiful fabulous job Howard
All right. So Alex Jones is a very funny character on the third show back when I listened to the show
I always loved when he came out to great impression very funny bits and stuff like that
But you can see what they're doing right there, you know, you bring in the Alex Jones just like oh, it's a hologram
Yeah, yeah, what are these stupid right-wingers thinking right? They throw you get really?
right winger's thick and right these throw you get really
Absurd yes, you take it to an absurd degree and then the less believable stuff seems forgettable Yeah, it's good deflection so back to your point about well. They had Biden on there was a big deal
They want to keep talking about it keep milking this content. I don't think that's the case
I think that they're in damage control because after the commercial break now Gary del Abate gets in on this conversation
By the way, I was talking to Gary during the commercials and Gary dealt with the White House on the Biden interview
And he said to me I was gonna interrupt but I didn't want I didn't know if I should
But tell tell everyone what you told me just said just let's go on record
The White House gave us zero parameters. It's probably the biggest
question I've been asked about this interview. Well, what did they say you
could and couldn't talk about? The answer was nothing. At no point did anybody say
don't bring this up, don't bring that up, which of course he's the president. He's
got to be ready to answer any question. No. So that makes it even worse. If the
White House gave you zero parameters and that was your interview, then you failed
fucking miserably. Good point. Right? Like that's the worst thing you can say is that don't we're allowed to say anything we wanted
And that's what you said
What does Howard become where he has to defend himself so much yeah isn't that bizarre yeah?
That's what I hate the most about this yeah, he's getting on and going no no guys for real
Don't listen to Pac-Man or any of these guys that need or not or say what would the consequence be if?
If we didn't believe you who gives a fuck do another show make it funny. Well. I think it hurts his ego
Well, how are you obviously Howard's a big ego guy? Yeah, and so and also he wants to be the greatest interviewer correct
Yeah, that's all go out the window when he
Sequestred himself into a house
he sequestered himself into a house hundreds of thousands of miles away from where he should be at work. Now he refuses to leave his house. How many miles away? Hundreds of thousands,
I don't know, whatever. One billion. He went to Mars. I'm just saying. Yeah. Are you like,
no he's lost all credibility. His credibility is out the window with this guy. He doesn't
know that though. He doesn't know that he's worse than I miss once when he was goofing on I miss. Yeah worse
Yeah, every way it's crazy. So one more clip. This is a more of Gary damage control going on
I don't know what to tell people. I don't know where they I
Think they think he gets carried in like a baby like he's ariana grande we just we walk
He is on controls and they work him with joysticks.
Howard, Howard, give us a hug.
Spiderman.
Fuck, Rob.
Yeah.
Somebody's telling you, what is he, Ariana Grande?
Ariana Grande.
Ariana Grande?
Ariana Grande.
Right, what Gary?
No, the suggestion that was made to me,
which I was, I couldn't believe,
because it's something I never thought of, was that six people walk very close to him, right, around so that if he falls they can catch him.
I was like, yeah, that didn't happen. I don't know what to tell you. That just didn't happen.
Well, so again, like making up this straw man argument where it's like, yeah, they're saying they were carrying Biden in.
So we've all seen Biden walk.
Yeah.
We see him walk up on stage and trip over sandbags and fall on his face off a
Bicycle like we know he can move a little bit. Yeah, walking up the stairs
so
Somebody handing me a list of questions and saying these are the questions for the interview
He won't answer any other questions except these because it's an election year is just as absurd as somebody carrying him in like Ariana Grande
Yeah, right. I know, right?
It's not.
It's totally changing the argument of what it is.
So a lot of damage control.
So I went to check out David Pakman's response to this.
Let's see what he has to say because there's mutual admiration going on.
The other day I did a sort of review of Howard Stern's interview of President Joe Biden,
which was, I thought, excellent.
And it really portrayed Biden in a very positive light.
75 minutes with Howard talking about all sorts of different things.
He clearly knows what day it is.
He knows what time it is.
He knows he's the president really kind of just pushing back against all these false
notions that you're hearing from right wingers.
Wow.
When I say we're setting the bar well, I didn't even realize we're setting it this low.
He knows what day it is, what time time it is and that he's the president
Yeah, I assumed all of those things. Why are you even introducing? Okay, he gets my vote
Great start to an interview too. I did an episode yesterday where I did a great job. Everybody
In that interview, so so look at his conclusion after hearing what I just played for you from Howard money back true
his conclusion after hearing what I just played for you from Howard. Money back. True. So the Biden administration passed a law that the airlines have to refund
you your money and John was explaining this to me and I said, you know what?
I bet a lot of people don't know about that. I didn't know about it.
So I stand corrected. What a douche. Howard goes, that's not true. They didn't give us that question.
John Heinke over that. I stand corrected. I believe Howard completely now what a douche
Have you not seen Robin a little while she looks like the fucking female gremlin and gremlins
Boy I can't wait for your apology
Boy boy Boy, I can't wait for your apology Boy, oh boy
All right real quick. We got to address something. It's going on with our buddy stuttering John
It's getting low.
It's getting low.
It's cold. Gakiyah!
Stunnery John was caught in a lie, and it's very funny, because he goes on his show and apparently he's all mad at Vince the lawyer for sending one of these delivery people to his house.
You know, he's been telling him not to do it and I guess this delivery driver opened the door
Oh, so now there's a trespassing thing and John
thinks that he can sue Vince or get him arrested or something
for sending a delivery driver. So John is going to try to
threaten Vince and let him know that he's in a lot of trouble.
You said the person never said where they were from.
Yes, they did.
Another Vince the lawyer lied.
When they knocked on that door, they said Door Dash.
And I called Door Dash today.
Guess what?
It was you that sent it.
You can't call Door Dash. So this Guess what? It was you that sent it.
You can't call DoorDash. So this is what he's saying.
He goes, I found out, I called DoorDash,
and I said, who sent that to me?
And they said, oh, it's this guy, Vince and Bessie
from New York.
But watch this, watching it caught in his line.
You can say all you want, it wasn't you.
They said, I said, what's the name on the person that sent it?
They said Vincent, imbecile.
A few moments later.
At what point, Vince, you just go,
dude, fucking hell.
Why do I,
why do I try and beat Stunner?
Why do I try and beat Stunner?
He said his phone.
Oh, sorry.
He didn't say Dard door dash I retract that he
said Uber eats that's what he said Uber eats and it was one of them a few
moments later that's on you Vince that's on you I'm sorry. Hey buddy get it right fucking hell
Grub hub
It was grub hub fucking
It was grub hub Jesus. What is he? Yeah, that one too somebody texting in I'm starting to think yeah
He's looking at his phone story, so I'm starting to think that he didn't call any of these delivery apps at all
No, or manhattan or vegas yeah, right?
He's such a fucking liar, and I have a feeling so he's getting these notes from some friend of his on the phone like no
No, they didn't say door dash. They said uber eats. Oh, no. No, it wasn't a brief
It was that's probably Vince to yeah, tell me another Vince sock account. That's convinced John at their buddies
That's probably Vince too. Yeah, probably another Vince sock account that's convinced John at their buddies
He probably thinks it's Leo Gunn or something, taxing him And so Vince is fucking with them in every way possible
and John who claims to be a puppet master is getting played and
Caught in lies and of course one thing we've been focusing in on with John's personality disorder is he has these childish fantasies
And he's fantasizing about suing
Vince. Oh, he's going to sue
him so good.
Sue me, Vince. Go ahead. Oh, I
can't wait for that trial. I
can't wait to go to the judge
with my attorney, which of
course will be one better than you, and go, I can't
wait until the opening statements. When my attorney goes, this guy constantly uses racist terms
nonstop, steals people,
goes through people's private property.
I can't wait.
Well, you're gonna have to wait.
Yeah, so basically just the quick back story of this,
because this is how stupid John is, it's shocking to me,
but he has these revenge fantasies where it's like the opening statements going on
And that's what the judge says that's not cool
Show up to the media circus in my flying car
What are you talking about as the judge of the court of public opinion,
I rule for Suttery John Malendez. So what's happening is, and you know, this is getting
silly, of course, I'm good at that. But John was showing Vince's MGM card and then Vince was
claiming that he showed his full member number. And so Vince can sue John for doing that.
And that's why John's going to bring it.
But this clip right here, I saw this one happen live, but thank
you to hot by 8686 on the damage on his subreddit for pulling
this. I couldn't believe that John said this to Quad father
the other day.
You know, usually people are going to do something
don't
post publicly
About doing it
You do realize
that if you think
My lawyer once told me
When people say
I'm gonna sue you
They're not suing you
They're not People are gonna sue you are not not suing you They're not
People are gonna sue you are not gonna tell you that wasn't your lawyer. That was me. Yeah, we've said it several times
That's so many fucking times you go you go around threatening to sue people all the time and now we've had this epiphany
Yeah, the people who say they're gonna sue people aren't gonna sue people. You just figured this out
It's the mental gymnastics from whatever suits his narrative. Yeah today. Yes
That's why he's on that side of the argument now. Yeah, he's fucking insane. He's
He's embarrassing himself. He's embarrassing himself. He's a dumb guy, but he also has this personality disorder and
One of the things that we talk about being a narcissist is
You never find any fault in anything that you do.
So I love this line of questioning
that's been coming up lately.
I did it all those months ago, back in August or September,
when John and I had those shows,
where I asked him if he had any regrets.
And I was shocked to hear him say
not playing football in high school.
So I thought, wow, there's so many things since then
that you should regret.
That I would regret if I were you yeah
So he has a Lisa Giordano on his show and thank you to Barnes and Noobs in Devils None of Us for putting this whole video
Together I've clipped it up for us to check out because he took it down. He did a great job
yeah, this episode has been taken down, so he had a Lisa Giordano on the show and
Gonzo shitcock calls in on a Lisa side and starts interviewing John and Gonzo Shitcock calls in on Elisa's side and starts interviewing John. And Gonzo,
chef's kiss, amazing job. This is fantastic.
You know, just like a real interview question. Does John have any regrets on how he's handled
any of his interpersonal relationships? Like his relationships with friends? And if he
has any regrets on looking back and if he did
anything wrong.
Like with who, Gaza?
With who?
Well, just any interpersonal relationships, any falling out, does he ever take accountability
for his issues in the falling out with with friendships
I know he's had some friendships that have fallen out and I know me one hell sparks
Howard Stern Royce Jackie Martling Artie Lang
Carl
Has he lost his fucking my Kevin Brennan Mike Bichetti? Has he lost his fucking mind? Yeah, Kevin Brennan, Mike Buscetti. Has he lost his fucking mind on this one? Name one?
It's all so public. Jackie Martling is maybe one of my favorite examples
Because John was just like what's Jackie's problem?
We were friends and all I do is blurt out private medical information about him
And now he doesn't return my calls anymore and in John's mind that's on Jackie
Yeah, so Gonzo are there any regrets of things that you did in a relationship that fell apart?
I know the answer to this we would have a friends. We weren't really friends. No, it's not even that it's everyone else's fault
Listen to this is this is gets nuts. I don't really know who he's talking about
It doesn't matter
He's asking you if there's ever been a relationship with someone
He could have said hell sparks, but John would have an excuse
So instead it's like no John you tell me something that went south that you wish had me
Maybe I could have done differently. That's the question. I don't really know who he's talking about
I don't have any regrets for any
I don't have any regrets for any of you. Gonzo the therapist.
John, do you ever look within and say,
maybe it's me, maybe it's not everybody else's fault.
Maybe I am the one who I am this.
Gonzo, you got me, it's me, it's all me.
These wire hangers.
Maybe it's because I'm a big fan of John,
but I do see a pattern.
So I just want to know.
Well, I'm sure you do, Gonzo. I'm'm sure you do but thank God you're not a therapist. It was just a question John
This isn't actually a therapy session and John could never last in therapy
You saw how he just deflects against performative as soon as there's a real question
But gonzo did this so perfectly to stay on the line that long and that is of course sprinkling and compliments you have to do that
Just leaving she's not hanging up on him right now. Lisa does a good job with this, too
I got it. I got to give her credit even though she's fucking crackpot
So Lisa says yeah, I mean there's always fault in every relationship falling apart.
And John says, nope.
No, a lot of people can be assholes.
Trust me.
But John, can you at least, can you at least-
Yeah, I'll tell you.
All right, Gonzo, I had this friend and he was a good friend.
And then he started getting into Dabble's Anonymous, right?
So whenever we would have an argument over anything,
he would start bringing up Dabble anonymous things.
So maybe you are a wet brain.
Or you can start bringing up things
that they say on Dabble's Anonymous about me.
And I'm like, fuck off like I don't want a friend
That is gonna go on these hate sites and then start to you know use their
Terminologies against me. It's like no fuck you even if dabbles anonymous didn't exist
He doesn't want anyone to naysay anything he does. That's a very good point
Yeah, so it doesn't matter where that doesn't do with anything, right?
He goes I had a friend who would call me out of my bullshit. Yeah, and
So gonzo actually does have good follow-up, but the the answer to that was
They became an enemy of mine, and I got rid of him. He doesn't regret that correct. Yeah, that's not a regret
No, I know doesn't regret the he can't think of a single regret No, that's what he's saying here. It's everyone else's fault
Okay, no, I don't I don't I'm sorry he doesn't
Regrets to inform us
The reason why there's a doubler synonymous
There's I'm not perfect the reason why there's a doubler synonymous
There's a dabble synonymous because I'm the only one famous in this fucking dabble verse
But do you think that would you think that they're all jealous of your family? Yes?
Yes That's not what you're famous for in the dabble very thank you any because I was thinking about this too
So it's so ridiculous.
I think what Gonza was getting at was,
so let's say you did have a relationship with someone
and they were being fed information from Dabler's Anonymous,
isn't it kind of on you that there is a Dabler's Anonymous
to begin with?
Yeah.
Like the fact that all these things exist in your world,
you've created all of this.
Right.
And I've never been to therapy, and I know this.
I know how this works.
Everything in your life you've brought into your life. You've created this world for yourself
There's not it's not a dabblers anonymous is not a fan page of all John's outfits that he wore on the tonight show, correct?
That's not why it's a thing, correct
So John thinks that dabblers anonymous only exists because he's famous
But think about this all of the major players in the devil verse have an equal amount of notoriety
about this. All of the major players in the devil verse have an equal amount of notoriety.
Shuli, me, Kevin Brennan, Levi, Mike Morris, producer Chris, Andy, Vinny Paulino, Tukey Cardiff, OJ, Casey Armstrong. Every single person on Devil's Anonymous knows all of those people and
more. Right? So they all have the same amount of notoriety in this. So for John to say I'm the most
famous person in the devil verse no
You're not you're on the same level as me and schooley. Sorry
That's kind of where we're at at this point. Yeah in the devil verse you're a little higher than me a little higher than 80
Cupid because he changed his name like trucker
Well that point must really aggravate him oh for sure and he would argue it for sure. Oh, yeah, but
This is the way back down
It's the old saying John you be nice to the people on the way up because you're gonna see them on the way down
This is you arriving at the down, and it's not even rock bottom yet in this case. He fell so fast
He couldn't really see anyone
No, you're right We had the guy on point double point yesterday who knew John from Long Island playing in bands recording at the same studio was John
Remember he said the same thing. He's just like he treated everyone like shit. Yep on the way up
Yeah, now here's that guy years later telling everybody what a piece of shit you are
So John is zero regrets for any of these relationships
He can't even think of one that went south except for this one recently or whatever
Even though we all named off his people said Vinny Paulino
People are named off all these other people in the in the chat over here, but John's not a narcissist
Listen he's cool by me you're always nice nice to me. John, you have to listen.
God's oh, this is me.
God's I'm not a narcissist.
So I'm going to tell you this if I ever diss you ever.
I apologize.
How could you dis gonzo?
He's like the coolest gonzo gonzo.
If I was if I were ever mean to you or if I ever shunned you
you have my sincere apology. Oh, well, thank you so much.
No, I'm just saying because frankly, I don't want to hurt anybody.
I don't.
But John, but you do.
But I'm just kind of, I'm just kind of perplexed by like why you don't understand this whole
universe is surrounding you.
What the fuck is Elisa doing?
You don't understand why?
Well, I know how it started if you want to know the
Exact reason why it all started it started because yeah car from who are these podcasts?
Started goofing on my podcast and like an idiot. I reacted
React they love when you react. Yeah, and that's how all this was born. But I already just said, I was an idiot.
I should have never said anything.
Yeah, I love Barnes and News put on the screen there.
Not was, you are an idiot.
Also, I think he's describing something he might regret.
Yeah, you would think that would come up
in one of the things, but he never lists that one.
Funny how that works.
This works out so well for Gonzo, too,
because I guess anybody else, if Alisa wasn't on the
screen there keeping him distracted, like he doesn't want to hang up on her, so it's
giving Gonzo all this oxygen to have a conversation with John that if they were having it one
on one and Alisa was not there, John would just hang up on Gonzo.
Absolutely.
Be gone.
Be gone.
He would not even be entertaining this conversation.
So this is very interesting. So you just heard what John said. He's such a nice guy. I took this down
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you can see what John just said. He's a great guy. He's not a narcissist
He doesn't want to hurt anyone and again props to Barnes and News for putting this edit together
Godza, why couldn't you keep a boner?
Sex with a hot girl like Elisa
No, no, no, no, don't ask him that. I'm not having sex with a hot girl like Elisa.
Stop, stop. I don't want to talk to Gonzo about that.
Gonzo, if I were ever mean to you, you have my sincere apologies.
End of flashback.
So he literally said, I don't know what he mean to you, and then as soon as he starts asking questions, it's immediately attack, attack, attack.
You couldn't get enough for Elisa Giordano, you loser.
By the way, Elisa Gi your data seems like a wet fish
I don't know
It's tough to get excited for a girl who hates sex. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean, so I'm not even blaming God
So I don't know that I don't know what happened. I wasn't there or anything like that
I'm just saying the one thing I know about a Lisa Giordano. She hates sex when you pulled your fly down
You went in yeah, and then you couldn't get it off.
Yeah, it's not fun when that's the situation.
All right, so this, he'll never get it.
The great thing about John, the frustrating thing,
but also the great thing about John,
is that no matter how many people explain it to him,
no matter how many ways people explain it to him,
no matter how much he sees his world crushing down onto him,
he'll never get it.
John, you're almost like a like you don't you're not sentient
yet. You don't understand why you're doing what you're doing
but you're just doing it.
I got the boy knows.
I'm fine.
And I hope you are too.
But so far doing great so far doing very well, but thank you.
All right. Well, I hope one day to achieve your success, John, I
love you. And I really hope you know, you understand like,
the reason why he said that too, is because he goes, you know,
Adam Sandler is not going online and fighting with people on
Twitter. And, and John goes, I don't want to be doing this. that's why Guns is like so what do you like AI like why are you doing
things you don't want to do you're not in control of yourself
it doesn't have to be this hateful you know like fighting with everybody and
they started it I never draw first blood I never draw first blood
why don't you have Guns on the show um you know as a guest?
yeah come on but you gotta come on with your face on.
Yeah, he's a good face, too.
I was on with you, John.
Alright, I'll send you the link, because I can't keep talking to a phone.
He has a very nice face, Gonzo.
I'm too handsome for this show.
He's very handsome for this show.
But he can't get it up.
I love it, John.
So, Alisa complimented another man.
And so then John had a, oh yeah, but he can't get a boner.
Took a swing.
Yep, he's constantly below the belt.
From the guy that has Viagra in a spice rack
in his kitchen.
Always talking about how he can't get it up
without a fucking pill, so.
Always be bashing.
Always be bashing, and that's just the face of a ghoul right there
Yeah, it's a loser
Super villain. Okay. Yeah, God's what calls back in again. No, I don't want I don't want to reach out to him
I want somebody to reach on
You think he'll be able to keep it up while having sex with her. It's about the conversation. It's about the conversation
the conversation it's about the conversation so he calls back and he just has to keep saying the one thing he knows it's well all you would say you
know the one install it's got to be another instance of that just keeps doing
it over and over again so does he keep doing it over and over again yeah yeah
from a guy who should have literally yeah I didn't watch the whole thing but
I can only assume he did it five more times
So then God's oh asks, you know, why do you keep asking a Lisa about the guy?
She's slept with every time he has a lease on the show. It's constantly about
Benji and Andy dick and you know whoever and so this is John's answer that
answer that. Wait John, how come every time you talk to Alisa you always talk about every guy that she ever had sex with? Yeah that's annoying. That's kind of creepy man. Yeah it's so annoying. Well
they're big stars. John, John you're like a you're down there. You know what show I came from?
Which guys you fucked like? Yeah, yeah, yeah I knew he was going to bring a power to that.
Of course.
I learned from the best.
Get this fucking idiot off the plane.
Yo, I just got it.
You're not Howard Stern in 1997, you know?
I don't give a shit.
I'm me in 2024.
Okay.
You learned nothing from the best.
Correct.
And also it's weird because he's been talking a lot about how Shuley isn't creative.
He just ripped off the idea from me and I'm not creative.
I just ripped off the idea from Opie and Anthony.
And then John says, and it's like, why do you ask pretty girls who they fucked and who
they slept with?
Howard did it in 97.
Oh, so you're not creative, John?
You're just ripping that off from Howard Stern.
You don't realize that that era has passed by
and it's not a thing that people do anymore.
And you're not good at it.
You're not charming.
You're not interesting.
The only thing anybody ever liked you for
was handed to you by somebody else.
Right.
Written for you.
Correct.
And a narcissist would think that
if he doesn't give a fuck about it,
then it's not a good point.
Right.
And so this is John's counter proving that he will never understand
what anyone's talking about.
Alright, Gonzo, are you listening?
Yes.
You said that people don't like me. Do I ever think that it's me?
And then now I'm saying, at least it'm saying at least everyone didn't like her
was it I got I gotta get I gotta turn the lights on the lights turned off
here all right but gonzo everyone in the family hit her was it her all right
gonzo you said that people didn't like me.
When people don't like me,
do I ever self-reflect and say it's me?
Now I'm saying to you, now that it's Alisa
and everyone in her family is hitting her,
is it them or her?
That's a completely different argument.
Yeah, I think it's the same.
Oh, there you go, okay, okay. All right. I'm done. I'm done
right now. You know, talk to me tomorrow. You lost. Good day, sir.
So this reminded me of a video our buddy Ryan Long and Danny Polischuk made recently. People
who so John, he's saying very broadly, like do you ever reflect on relationships
and think maybe you did something wrong?
And then John brings in a specific example.
Was it Lisa's fault that she was hit?
Probably, but that's not the point, right?
Let's say it wasn't.
Let's say her family's all bad people
and it wasn't her fault at all.
This is what he's not understanding.
Millions of people around the globe suffer
from not being able to understand the concept of averages.
If you say on average, men are stronger than women,
they will note that they know a woman that is stronger than a man. An Asian who's terrible at math. A black man who can't dance.
A pit bull who's amazing with children. An Indian man who hates seeing bogs. A white dad who hates saying let's rock and roll. A chick
who's never emotional. An influencer who's never posted another day at the office. An actor with good opinion. A Jewish woman
who's never sent food back. Even a time when Stephen Colbert was right about something. Adding up the
total of a group and dividing it by the number of people is a concept many were born
unable to understand. And have no choice but to point out the exceptions.
It's a condition that can't be fixed and all we can do is make them comfortable. Which is why we started KUWA, a charity for
average unable humans at patreon.com slash the boys cast.
Very good, but that's all I could think of with John is that he's always pulling one specific example
You're just like yeah, but Jenny have to understand like there's obviously gonna be times when you're at fall for things
No, what about my friend who said I was a wet brain cuz he got it from dab was announced like it
No, we're not talking about any specific examples here John. How do you not understand that John?
Why would a 59 year old man want Kate Meany's nudes? I'm 58!
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, so he's always got something.
So there's no point to be made.
I was watching, on the show last night, he claimed he was the greatest find in radio
history. Said he was a diamond in the rough. And he said, if Howard was ever interviewed
about me, he would say that. He really, he's gotten so delusional now He really thinks that it he was the show the Howard Stern show well
Again, the show got better after he left. Sorry, but it got way better when they went over to serious satellite
I do have a game, but we got a run because the ice helps are playing tonight
I got a lot of work to do for that. So I got to wrap things up
Andy cue public is here from the All Apologies podcast.
Hello.
What's going on with All Apologies?
We got shadow, no.
Sorry, bitching about Instagram.
I did an episode about Elon Musk and nobody knows about it.
So go to allapologiespodcast.com and find the Elon Musk episode that just came out.
And this week, this next one coming out on Wednesday is
going to feature Carl hamburger right W ATP we're gonna have Carl on and
Also, I want to plug my twitch TV
Slash Thursday matinee watch along channel that I do with Lucy tight box
We just watched the movie carny, and it's being hosted for free on patreon at our
Thursday matinee patreon so please check that out for free awesome
Will do you know what? I just remembered I wanted to show everybody please show me is
My favorite new nickname for John Dent Midler. Yeah. Yeah
This one came in from Bird Witches Bald Eagle on
Deblors Anonymous.
And it's just got a lot of funny song titles
with John Photoshopped as Bette Midler.
Debt Midler.
Don't stop believing your career is not over.
The stroke.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Spirit Airlines in the sky.
Yeah, upown funky smell.
Good work man.
Yeah.
Alright, very good stuff.
Thank you for doing that.
I'm going to hit voicemails and then we're going to close it out.
Because like I said, we do have some things we got to do.
So let's see what's going on out there in voicemail.
Cardiff, I know I'm going to save your game for Wednesday. Thank you for putting that
together. I just I don't have time for it today. But it will give you a chance and I have to make
a new game somewhere in Minnesota. A potato is crying. But yes, thank you very much,
Cardiff. He always puts the other games for us. He does. He's fantastic. He's consistent. And I
apologize for that. John was just this conversation with God Godza was just too much. I had to get it on the show.
Carl, when did you start using the word based?
I'm not gonna shit on you for it or anything.
I'm just wondering.
I don't know if I like it.
I mean, that's like, that's as a millennial,
a racist millennial, that's our word, okay?
You're a racist Gen Xer, you gotta use the gamer word.
I don't know if it fits, but you say rad or tubular
or whatever the fuck it is you say, all right, bye.
That sounds based.
You're gonna know the show's over
when Carl starts calling himself a skimity Rizler
Show us jump the shark all right guys Gary and San Diego was fired up all right hey Carl Gary and San Diego
Well, I don't think I'm the only one outraged
Yeah, but it's a real tragedy. Just found out that Comedy Central's having the Tom Brady roast. Great.
What about Sutter and John? He should be the producer, the writer, something. Don't
they know that he was the head writer and producer for the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
roast? I know. My God, how can they bypass Sutter and John? it's unbelievable rock and roll he did come back to
correct himself it's on Netflix not Comedy Central the roast it was Grubhub
oh no oh no it's Amazon Prime hey Carl inspector blore now look I know
sometimes you don't play my voicemails,
but you kinda owe me after not crediting me
to being the one to submit the Daily Shoah
a little while back through voicemail.
It's a long time ago.
The person who submitted the podcast.
You credited it to some Discord asshole,
so I got a hot one for ya.
It's five hours old as of 1056 central time
It's called the mild ray gun. They've got one episode. It is still one shot
All right, that's probably close to 45 seconds, I'm gonna let you go
Enjoy it. It's pretty shitty. I've never met a dog that knows what shut up means
Maybe some do. I don't
know. So I did check this out, sir. I looked into it, the mild ray gun, and I didn't get it. I
wasn't sure what was going on. So let me know if I'm missing something. Maybe I need to wait for a
few more episodes to come out or something. W-A-T-P. I got to say I love how John uses the SAG AFTRA. By the way, Gary, it's SAG AFTRA, not AFTRA SAG.
He uses the strike as an excuse a year and a half later.
He's like these losers that you see on Judge Judy
or Court TV or everybody at my work who's like,
oh yeah, the pandemic, it got in the way,
that's why I'm not getting any jobs.
Or people who are blaming the housing crisis in 2008 on anything today.
So yeah, he, he's a loser.
He does not accept the responsibility.
I know shocking.
By the way, Bird Witches Bald Eagle is David in our chat.
He wanted to take credit for that.
Good job.
Very good. All right. Hey Carl man, I'm at listen to the most recent episode and that reality show is a fucking
Goldmine. Yes, do you think?
Like that was at least in Helga like today they didn't discuss like laughing off their cuffs, right?
Like just losing them and getting the whole fucking you know
The gene and everything like you think they're gonna go like the hypnotized
Sal govern Ali route and I do my cock is God
Good work closing in on 45 seconds, but I got five so
Not a hard fast rule
Thank you for observing under 45 seconds
Yes again principle uncertainty found that reality show, and it's fat. I'm glued to it
I love reading the comments to yeah how good goes in a response to a lot of the comments because I was mad at Thursday's episode
because they fucked up they didn't record it and they went and did it again recording it and
Lisa never had her mic in front of her so I couldn't really hear so I made a comment
I'm like I like it better when I can hear Lisa. She's talking to a microphone
And how good we spotted it helps
Hey guys, it's me Stuttering John's hemorrhoid.
You know, John doesn't treat anyone very well, but he doesn't treat me at all.
Hey Vince, how about sending some Preparation H over to this place so John can score a hole
in one you know
what does John have in common with Elvis besides being a great guitar player
they're both gonna die straining themselves on the toilet don't call me
back fingers crossed I think that's the first time we got a phone call from john's hemorrhoids, right? Yeah talk about a butt dial
All right shows almost over really
Hey carl baby, hey, is it just me or do you think lisa sounds a lot like simple jack? Oh, yeah
Make me happy. Uh, I like pizza
Can't just be me
Anyway, don't go fully on me there. Okay. All right
Punch it out, babe. I like pizza. Everybody knows you never go full retard
What I just say
Hey Carl name Nate from Flint, Michigan
Hey, I've been running machines and chainsaws my whole life and I can hear your podcast
Just fine through my noise cancelling thingamadoos. I think your levels are fine, bro. Thank you, sir
Hey producers Chris. Yeah, how many babies have you pumped into other guys wise?
This is a ballpark trying to be like you buddy
Something to look up to you have an answer for that. Well, he's several in but only one was born. Okay
Good for you
58 John is
58 Holy shit. I thought he was in his late 60s for sure. If you had said
65 I would have been shocked. Jesus, I need to start drinking less.
Yeah, he looks terrible. Alright, last one.
So I'm listening to the shows out of order and I listened to the most recent one
from May earlier and now I'm listening back to the one with Vinny on it because somehow
I missed it. The stairs easy for you to climb joke was a Vinny Paulino joke, not a producer
Chris joke. So the voicemailer who called and said that hasn't a 10 time span about
as long as Carl Peter
All right, so now we know cuz you did say that you didn't say that joke then we convinced you you did Yeah, and then I did a victory lap and now I got to take it back. Yeah turns out it was many Paulino
So we'll be docking your pay video. We'll get a bonus
For that line. Thank you for squaring that up alright guys
We got to get out of here, but thanks so much for hanging out with us, and I'll leave you with this
Okay, folks guess what this is the episode oh
Go fuck yourselves have a good week. Ah, Carl. I love you.
BYE!
A plane has hit. I rewatched it. Carly.
Boom.
Fuck his mom.
Boom.
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