Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep59 - The Indiana Jones Minute
Episode Date: May 20, 2017Do you like Indiana Jones? So do we! Do you like podcasts? Same here! Are you excited to listen to a show that focuses on a 60 second section from Temple of Doom? Neither were we. Also, we hear some ...big news about the future of WATP, read a review from someone who hates us, and tease another show that will likely suck. Don't miss it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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It's show time. Just a handful that don't suck That's where we come in
I can't give you the heart
I'll go back and then we'll end it
W-A-G-P
W-A-G-P
W-A-G-P
Who are these podcasts?
Double your way to be.
Who likes these podcasts?
Not WWE TV.
Who likes these podcasts?
That one's beyond me.
Who are these podcasts?
WWE TV. podcast w-h-t-p
w-a-t-p
w-a-t-p
hello everyone welcome to w-a-t-p I'm your host Kevin
as with me here is always this carol
we want to remind everyone if you like the show
leave us a comment on iTunes
I can also visit us at who are these calm. We're also on Facebook and Twitter
At who are these pod?
Today's show will be reviewing the Indiana Jones Minute as always we have both
Listen to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. So let's get into it
I like that you say if you like the show, leave us a comment on iTunes.
Before we wrap up today, I want to read the latest comments that have come over on iTunes.
It's pretty funny.
Yeah, I've seen a couple of comments.
So if you don't like the show, you don't have to leave a comment on iTunes.
That's fine.
We're good. We got it.
Oh, we see most people hate it.
You don't have to tell us.
It's fine.
So what did you think of this show?
Well, let's start by addressing something.
Did you listen to the podcast?
I did, yes.
OK, do you have clips of the show?
I did not pull clips now.
OK.
So Kevin is, this is going to be his last show with us.
Yep.
Kevin has decided that we've pretty much said everything that there is to say about
shitty podcasts.
And I think he's ready to move on to something more enlightening to do with his time.
Something like that, I guess, yeah.
So yeah, this will be the last time
for my horrible impressions and all the other things.
Well, so I don't normally do this Kevin,
but when you called me to tell me the news,
which obviously I'm bummed about him
and enjoying doing the show with you for the last year and a half,
I did record a clip. I
clipped our phone conversation and I want to play it. I have it on their audio from our phone call.
Hello, hello.
Now release me. I order you to let me go.
So, as co-worker commander, he was very adamant that this would be the end of his run with us.
Enough!
W-A-T-P!
I can't get up this early anymore on the weekends!
Yeah, that might East Coast time zone thing, and now I'll take that as a sorry bus.
Cobra Commander.
No, that's...
I'm an adult, I should be able to get up early,
but you know, ruling the planet is hard,
trying to overthrow everyone.
Yeah, so I'm personally going to miss over commander,
so I've been trying to keep his spirit alive on the show.
Anyway, I can.
So anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. The show
will likely go on. Don't know exactly what the format is going to be or what we're going
to do. But hopefully we can convince Kevin to come on and guest in the future because,
you know, Kevin won't be missed, but Nick Cage most certainly won't be missed miss Let's talk about the declaration of independence right. It's show going forward
That's all there should be an entire episode just about government documents
It's T.P. We're gonna talk about government documents. Yes, the bill of rights
He's announcing it like he's dad part now
And your host, the Constitution!
With musical guests, Roe vs. Wade.
Neither a document nor music artist.
No, I was...
Oh boy.
Let's get back to what we were talking about.
You asked me if I liked this show, I think you said.
Yeah, yeah.
So this show has a couple of things that I disliked.
The first one being the element of the 60 seconds at a time that they're
talking about in the movie.
We listened to the As If podcast that talked about the movie clue list.
They had the exact
same format. 60 seconds at a time, let's sit and talk about it. And what's annoying about
that is there's just not that much to talk about for 60 seconds of a movie.
Yeah, and I think they should call this the grasping it straws pot. Well, they're tying their own hands by limiting it to 60 seconds, but I feel like,
because this show, I think, was a half an hour long, they cover more than what that minute
covers.
They're all over the place and talking about the movie and stuff So it doesn't really stick
To the 60 minute or six. I'm sorry 60 minutes 60 second
Format really because they're kind of you know talking about short-round and all kinds of shit that isn't happening
And that exact scene which I you'd have to do obviously if you want to do
Well, did you watch the 60 second clip of the movie that
they're talking about? No, but I've seen the movie so many fucking times. I know. Well,
I went and watched it. If you have Amazon Prime, you can go and watch the movie for free,
which I didn't even realize. It's pretty cool. So I went and watched that 60 second clip.
So I have some insights as to 60 seconds of a movie. It's I remember when I
watched the Clueless one too. It's amazing how short amount of time that is for a
movie. There's a zero dialogue. It's just Indiana Jones kind of looking around a
little bit and observing things. And then they had to sit and talk about this on
their podcast. To the point
where he looks up, Indiana Jones looks up and he sees that there's these human skin stretched
out in the wall, this flayed skin. And it's literally I tied it two seconds, two seconds
of the movie. They talked about it for five and a half minutes. Yeah, yeah. They couldn't
give enough of the flayed skins on the wall. and that's the kind of thing that when you have this format
Okay, we're gonna talk about this 60 seconds. It forces you to over
Discuss something that really doesn't need it. No, I mean, and obviously it's trying to be they're trying to be funny
So they're looking for whatever angles they can on it and they they had a couple of amusing angles, I think, on a lot, to me anyway.
There was some funny takes on some of this stuff.
Well, I'll tell you what,
so because they talk about the Floyd skin,
they did have a big laugh right at the beginning of the show.
And Kevin, you know, when you do a podcast,
it's important to get that big laugh out of the way.
So that everyone knows the format.
This is going to be a funny wacky show.
I have it clipped here, play, track three.
It's called Huge Laugh right at the beginning.
I don't know if anyone's noticed, but they have very, very prominent pubic hair.
Oh my God, I just saw that as you said it.
That's cool.
That's cool.
Really, dude.
Really?
I don't know.
That's where the BGK team came really nice to see it, but you cannot not see it.
Thanks me.
Last time going bankrupt.
This was a great episode.
You shouldn't find us.
You're really nice.
We'll see you Monday.
We want to hear the vibe with him for the next 20 minutes. We'll be back in the stage.
But they also have these incredible means of hair.
Oh, shit, that was great.
I might have sweetened that a little bit.
A little bit of a big laugh.
Trust me.
That was big laugh even without Cartman.
Or David Lee.
It was apparently laughing
Yeah, David Lee Roth that's the only way that he communicates is just through hollowing a people
Yeah, I didn't watch the scene so I didn't see if there was pubic hair or whatever, but I don't I don't remember that part
But yeah, well no literally two seconds you would not have remembered that part from the movie.
It's not a big deal, it's not a thing.
I usually have an eye for pubic care though, and I, uh...
Yeah.
I never seen it.
Yeah, when is Japan gonna get with the times?
I haven't been thinking with pubic care, too.
Kevin, track number 12 is the track on here that I clip that sums up the show for me.
So, if you haven't listened to the Indiana Jones minute and you're wondering, what's
the gist of it? What does it sound like? It's mildly funny banter with a ton of laughing.
Play track 12. Sure, it's a simple adoom, but we have our standards. Yeah, we're not monsters.
Come on.
We torture the kids.
We work in the death, but we haven't had to dawn the job in the accident six months.
It saved you first.
You got the OSHA poster up in the break room in it.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's a very safe temple.
I mean, that's kind of what the whole show is.
There's five people who are talking.
So it's non-stop nervous, later.
I've right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, Oshah.
I don't know.
I thought it was good. I kind of liked it. I
Mean I like the concept of the ocean for some reason. You like that. I kind of liked that
I kind of thought that that was pretty funny, but I
Think when you get five people, you know on the same show it's you're gonna get that
Unfortunately, people trying to want up each other and everyone just sort of laughing to kind of fill
the air or something, I don't know.
Right. Well, it's when you're on a show, we do it a lot, so I'm not gonna pretend
that this isn't something that happens to us.
You know, the nervous laughter thing, definitely, you need some type of reaction.
Right. Because if someone says something and it's flat after that,
it does get a little awkward for everyone involved.
Oh, that's never happened on Arshad.
I've never said anything that's been like that.
All right, so I have a track out here.
Kevin, they're talking about the guys
who are hosting the show.
There's three main hosts.
And this is them introducing that track to
I'm Pete Bummer.
I'm Tom Taylor.
I'm Gerald Christopher Marcus Porter.
Now, how many first names is this fucking asshole?
Have I'm Taylor Pete, mummer.
Okay.
Sounds normal.
And then this is Gerald Christopher Marcus Porter.
I ran a breast state of steam just now.
I'm not really as upset about his name as I just pretended to be.
I was just turned on that wall.
So they have two guest hosts, about his name as I just pretended to be. It was just turned out that well.
So they have two guest hosts,
Brett Still and Josh Horowitz.
These two guys have a podcast called Five Minutes of Trouble
where they talk about,
what is it, big trouble in a little China?
Yeah, yeah.
They do big trouble in a little China
five minutes at a time.
So they've obviously wised up to the 60 second thing.
Yeah, when I heard that, I was like,
oh, that definitely sounds like it's a more
doable show.
However, how many fucking minutes,
how many shows can you actually get out of that?
But, well, don't worry, Kevin.
You don't have to get a ton of shows out
of it because this guy Brut Stillo I'm looking at his bio on their five minutes of trouble.com website
and he's been featured as a guest on the Indiana Jones Minute airport minute and the breath of
con minute podcast every fucking movie has one of these podcasts with this format, it's ridiculous.
Did you say airport or airplane?
Airport, yeah, not airplane.
That would be weird if you tried to do,
because you could be like in the middle of a setup
and have to stop.
Yeah, it's gonna come up in the next minute, it's great.
But the setup, you know, you don't really know
where they're going with it yet.
So what is he doing?
Is he sniffing glue?
We don't know. We don't know. It's been a bad thing for him to start sniffing glue or
What the fuck is airport
So the movie yeah, it's a 70s movie. I think it's kind of what airplane is
goofing on
Okay
Well, I are young millennials. We don't know these things. Yeah, mean shit. I'm just playing with fidget spinners all day
I mean, I don't I don't know what of these movies are even about but
Alph Pogs yeah, health is back in park form
Yeah, I don't so this guy let me just keep on breath for a second.
And then we can move on.
This guy is the...
I believe this is the wacky voice guy.
Did you pick up on this guy?
Mm.
No.
They track for this is what I mean by...
He's got this wacky broadcast voice.
And I thought, you know, I never really knew what people meant when they said well, you know
Temple of Doom is really dark. It's a lot darker than Raider and I was like
I don't know there's mine car chases and mochi brains yeah, you know and then here I'm like
There's flades skins and here's what's really sick. I mean
Not as sick as the pink big hair
There's seamless the flade skins are seamless hair, but they're seamless.
The flayed skins are seamless.
So like, they're one piece.
It's only Jay Leno.
Oh, okay.
It does have a little bit of a Jay Leno thing.
I actually picked up on a couple of other guys.
We know, and you have the wacky voice
and you go up and down with your voice
and you get really excited about this.
There's two guys that I thought of. There's Lionel. you go up and down with your voice and you get really excited about this.
There's two guys that I thought of. There's Lionel. You would know Lionel if you watch
the Anthony Kumia show. He's a frequent guest on there. He's also on Russia today.
And then there's Dave Damishek. And Dave Damishek's on the NFL Network. If you listen
to Adam Corolla, you'd hear him. I did something that I'm going to immediately regret. This is what I call the annoying mashup.
It's this wacky voice guy with his voice doppelgangers, Lionel and Dave Damishek.
And I thought, you know, I never really knew what people meant when they said, well, you know,
Temple of Doom is really...
But I have stories to watch, Dr. Gregory.
And I was like, I don't know, there's mine,
I'm a genius, you're a monkey, you're a genius.
I don't know, I get all the way to the end.
And then here I'm like, I'm supposed to do this.
There's a sleiz, dude.
And here's what's really, I'm not a vlogger.
Just remember, players, I'm going to do this.
Keep it here.
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
I see you, I see you.
You know, these kids are really, they're
one piece. Oh my god.
Sorry.
I immediately regret doing that.
But they're all at the exact same voice.
I feel like that's a character that people play.
There's no way you talk like that in your real life.
Well, this is, you know, this is a,
this isn't the news lately yet.
Do you know what you got?
You guys see that?
Do you see that?
It's interesting. I didn't know that I'd pass into it. You see this? Yeah.
reinforcement really from the playing. I can't do it. I can't even do a fucking
chalo. It's awful. Yeah. It's pretty awful. I mean, mine is terrible, but yours is awful.
Yeah. You guys, you guys see this guy? I, Kevin, he's trying to do me.
See that?
I'm not even gonna continue to try it.
I'll just do, if I can,
Cobra Commander with it's a night show.
Okay.
Hey everyone.
How are you doing tonight?
Tonight we have some great guests.
It's a great show tonight.
Isn't that right? Kevin
U-Banks? I feel like you say that every night, Cobra Commander. I do. It kind of loses all meaning.
Kevin U-Banks is my distro. He's my lead of my band. He plays guitar and no one's ever seen him since my show went off the air.
Yeah, that Copa Commander talk show did not last long.
No, it lasted just slightly longer than the Chevy Chase talk show did.
You know, and it was slightly less embarrassing for Copa Commander.
As bad as he is at taking over the world, he's even worse at hosting a talk show I like what now they'd have the people come out animals and they'd like be crawling all over him and stuff
You should have been a certain time. Yeah, give this goddamn monkey off of me. He's shitty that my desk
Yeah, I remember that episode. I was a good one. Yeah, he was shitty got his desk
You know in template Temple of Doom,
when they eat the monkey brains,
the monkey's face is pointed at the camera.
Do you think that would be the way they would serve
chilled monkey brains to people?
Because you're just looking at the back of the head.
I feel like that would be weird, right?
So you mean when they go to eat the brains,
they're looking at the back of the head?
Right, because the face is pointed at the camera.
It's almost like a, a last supper painting.
Why is everyone on the one side of the table?
Just this asshole could paint us.
And by the way, it probably took a five or six hours.
How long is this supper gonna last?
That's a, at interesting point, I don't know.
Maybe it's so you don't develop a personal connection with the monkey that you're about to eat
On the brain. So you know, like looking in the eye. You're like Fred. No
Mr. Gibbles this guy was hilarious
Yeah, he would write a unicycle into the temple there and the kids loved him
I like the part where they cut the snake open and there's other snakes inside of it
Yeah, that makes yeah, I do I do remember that because I remember being I mean
That whole part of that movie so stupid. There's no such thing as any of this stop as far as this being a cuisine that people would enjoy
They like giant fucking beetles and it dudes like,
he's got like 17 of them stacked up.
He's like, already, already eaten a bunch of them.
He's like, oh, he's so really good.
You know what's interesting about the movie?
I went back, so I was watching clips of it here and there
and I haven't seen it in a really long time.
The love interest in the movie is not very good looking.
She kind of got a pig nose
I'm trying to think did he
Didn't Steven Spielberg marry her. I think that was his wife
Okay, Kate Kate Capchaw, right? I think that's who it is. Yes, that is who that is. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was his wife
As far as marrying chicks you put in movies. I think Ben Stiller is the winner in that category.
Yeah well I'm sure you nailed it. Yeah she's annoying as shit. I do remember that in the movie. She screams a lot and
the wines and yeah and I don't know. I think last week I talked about some of my favorite parts of the movie. I know we're getting way off fucking topic here
But are the little the little prince kid who he's like
You you drink you don't wake up from nightmare you drink blood like he's he just doesn't
Looked for that clip. I wanted to find it and play it. I couldn't find it online. Yeah, he
He's talking to short-round,
like one of the little slave kids,
and he's like, you drink,
because he's telling him what happened to Indy.
When Indy goes batshit and they make him drink,
that's a fucking dark movie.
They make him drink blood.
Well, then he gets evil.
He becomes evil Indy and doesn't he attack short-round
or something?
Yeah, yeah, like short-round goes to goes to cuz he's like i don't know like lowering
somebody into a fucking lava or whatever
and short round comes out and he's like no indy and he pushes them off
uh... yeah and and he falls down and he's all bummed out and that he takes a
torch and he fucking burns his side
with uh... with a torch of open flame and
Indie comes back to life. That's all it took was
Some some shock therapy, I guess to bring Indie back into it. I actually find that that works in a lot of circumstances
Like if someone's really drunk at the bar. I just burned the shit out of that
I actually put some right back up. Yeah, I mean, I bet I could have this conversation with you about Temple of Doom again, asshole.
So many times, I've been in a bar
where someone's really drunk and they're, you know,
and they're teamed up and lowering somebody into lava.
This is happening.
I so many goddamn times.
Yeah, well, there's the lava center downtown.
There's a lot of days in lava.
It's a place that we hang out a lot.
It's just in the lava districts, right?
It's in the lava. It's all in the they're across the street from each other. Yeah, no duh. I'm an idiot. So of course. Yeah, no
The villain they talk about a little bit about molar ram in here because they try to
The
DOOM or this pie. No, no, in the podcast.
In the podcast, they do make a comparison to big trouble
in a little China, because they also then go into plug that.
But they make comparisons between the characters and both movies.
And so they bring more Ram up, which is like the main villain guy.
And then they're in the podcast, they're talking about the like the geography of the temple,
which I never, I mean, obviously when you're dissecting 60 seconds of a podcast like this,
you like you said, you have to, yeah, you have to go into way over think.
You have to, yeah, you have to go into way over think shit. So it's interesting to me.
He's like, well, there's a, there's a pit lava underneath the temple,
but then like the mine, where all the kids are, like behind the temple.
So like, where does the lava stop?
I don't know where a level, right?
So the lava is stuck in between somewhere.
And I mean, that that's over analyzing for sure. And I have a clip
on here that's another example of that when you when you have to talk about such a sl...
I mean, I forget about the fact that they did 32 minutes on 60 seconds. If you look at the
whole movie, they're probably talking about it for 12 hours, right? Well, no, it'd be actually
way more than that. So they're they're they're spending hours and hours talking about one for 12 hours, right? Well, no, it'd be, it'd be actually way more than that. So they're, they're spending hours and hours talking about what we see. Of course, you're
going to start speculating on dumb things. I have a track number six. It's called this guy.
It doesn't realize Indiana Jones isn't a real person. But it brings up a, it interesting
point, though. Do you think that Indy wasn't truly convinced that the kids were actually
down there? I mean, you know, was, was his plan originally to just go in there, get the stones, head to
Delhi and go home and figure, you know, maybe they just got lost or something.
Do you understand life?
He's speculating on the psyche of a fictional character, and this is so ridiculous.
What do you think he's thinking right there?
Indie and a Jones is not a person who thinks, okay?
It's a character from movies.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Harrison Ford was thinking
when his craft service is getting here.
Exactly.
We're gonna have most beef sandwiches again
or they're gonna change it up today.
And then I have a clip right after this one,
where the guy wants to talk about a different scene
and then kind of catches himself because again, it's so difficult to just focus on 60 seconds
of a movie.
Play track 7.
Well, you know, this comes later like, you know, in just a few minutes.
And like, by the way, the next two weeks of this podcast, I do not envy where you guys are going.
How fun was that?
Guys blowing up their spot.
Oh yeah, well the next few weeks
on fucking big trouble little China,
you're not gonna like it either.
Yeah, you guys have shitty scenes to review yourself.
It's the same thing that happened when we were listening
to ASF. It was the
dumbest scene that we happen to pull the podcast from and they're going, well, in a scene
coming up, there's this really cool thing that happens. Right. Because yeah, just talk about
the movie and it's okay. You're not spoiling it for anyone. No one's watching it 60 seconds
at a time and then, okay, I got to that 60 seconds. Listen to the next podcast. Everyone's seen the full movie.
You can just talk about the movie.
It's a weird format.
So I'm about to drop a fucking metaphor.
I'm this podcast that is gonna blow everyone away, all right?
Well, Kevin, this is your last show.
So there's no time like the present.
Okay, here we go.
So these 60 second podcasts
are like if you were to take a thousand piece
jigsaw puzzle and take one piece out
and have to do a half an hour on the one piece.
This one is just one solid color.
Now this could be maybe the sky.
It could be the purple. It might be a wake.
You know, just being a solid color is really difficult to analyze.
I think there's a tip of the fence in here. There's the tip of the fence.
So, well, you would think that, but actually someone just kind of tore back the edge there
a little bit. So that's just the cardboard showing through.
It's just a solid light blue.
So I'm not sure that's a fence.
And there's no edge either.
So that means it goes somewhere.
So where the box, can we see what,
no, we can't talk about that.
Okay, nevermind.
That was a foil.
See, that was a foil.
Big metaphor moment for my last show.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Is that line made? Is it a line? I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game.
I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play this game. Late on the show Liam is a co-host who left the show before you left the show before it was cool. Yeah
What's your song
Kevin we were talking about the tonight show so I ripped off a bit from another late night show host, the
the sweet Jimmy Kimmel bit unnecessary censorship. Play track eight. And
Josh Horowitz and I
To the guy who made the screens. Yeah, who made those screens. That's a wow
the screams, uh, yeah, who made those screams.
Yeah, that's a wow.
Got a fun.
They fucked the guy that made the screams. All right.
They fought to the guy.
I don't know how that works if they were fucking each other to that person or if they
fucked to him.
I would be interested in doing the fuck to someone or they just fuck to the screams.
Like that's that's what they're into.
I think that's what he was trying to say. They do talk about the scream quite a bit in here.
So, of course they do.
It's 0.3 seconds of the scene that they saw there.
I have to talk about it.
So, I guess we should say the scene to the viewers like this private.
So, it's the scene, like you said. The viewers.
The view.
God damn it. It really is my wish.
Show. No, to the listeners of our podcast, to the viewers of our podcast.
Remember, Kevin, in this medium, we're speaking one to one with the listener.
So, hey, this is for you listening on your headphones right now.
This is the scene that they're discussing
in the Indiana Jones Minute Podcast. So it's the scene where Indy breaks away from the group after
they discover. Wait, wait, wait, Kevin, this this asshole is giving us a negative review on iTunes
right now. Stop it. Stop it. What did you say? Then we can give this show. Only if you like the show,
should you put a review on it at Eh? Eh? Alright, go ahead.
So it's the same, we're all three of them go behind the statue.
They're not on the minds or whatever.
Indie goes across to examine the stones.
So he's separate from short-round and...
What the fuck?
Really?
And they're watching, and they're watching intently,
and then like a thuggy guard does like
a jump scare, like jumps up and they kidnap them.
That's the scene, essentially, and they talk at length about the jump scare, which I
don't really think is very scary, but I didn't want to talk about the lazy writing of
calling the evil guys thuggy
Yeah, I mean come on. That's pretty pretty late George Lucas was fucking
Definitely on that one you must have been the yeah, that's definitely at George Lucas thing to do
Yeah, Jar Jar thuggy whatever. Well, what are they?
Yeah, they're they're bad people, bad ease. No, that's too predictable.
They're thuggish.
Maybe they're thug-like thug likes.
No, thug-e-thug-e.
That's it.
Go with it.
In his defense, he was just trying to get the character
of a meant right for the action figure packaging.
Because you have to have the name of the character right below in the box there so that kids can see it in the big font and pick that up.
Kenner just got off the phone with me.
They want to.
All right.
It's got to fit perfectly underneath the figure name.
Yeah.
So it's a thuggy it is with a lot.
You've got six characters. Yeah. I have a clip on here where they got off topic,
big time just for a second,
and they started talking about this dude's nephew's bris,
play trek 10.
Why did they cut that?
I don't know, that makes you furious.
That was kinda weird. You set this up, I'm like, I don't know that makes you furious
You set this up. I'm like I don't fucking remember this
I'm doing this part. You're not even Jewish. What is Carl talking about?
All right, and then this was amazing Kevin. So
We if you're just joining us we announced that
Yeah, this is Kevin's last show. And who would have thought it? They're actually, there's a clip on here of they're saying what Kevin's
thinking. Play track 13. Yeah, he's like, oh, God, Carl's going to do is it all. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rob.
Rob.
Rob.
Rob.
Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll.
I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna roll. or the butt of the joke, the name is Carl. It's just always the funniest name for some fucking reason.
Fuck you all, think that.
I don't know where this came from.
It's like a recent thing that's been coming up lately.
I have not noticed that.
In this scenario, the thuggy guy is named as Carl
because that's hilarious, right?
That guy would be Carl.
Oh, hilarious.
That, that, imagine that toy, the kinder toy Carl,
the guy, guy in robes with a fucking cimitar or fucking,
not a huge seller surprising.
Not a big seller. They actually ended up having to give it away
and happy meals just a,
a inventory.
Yeah, I didn't want this hamburger, but I own this car.
Yeah, I didn't even want this hamburger, let alone this Carl. Yeah, I have a clip on here that is a joke.
And this one's interesting.
If you want to get into a little bit of psychology,
he's so unsure of himself,
the way he sets it up,
and even the punchline,
you can tell he's embarrassed.
He's embarrassed of his own joke.
Wait, track 11.
And then there's another guy that seems to be grinding one of the cars, one of the mine
cars.
Well, Pete, I had a note here that said that this is a really good example of 1980s kids playing
Minecraft.
Wow.
Why?
Why? kids playing Minecraft. Wow. There's been no laughs.
That sucked balls. Yeah, go for granted. I think you could agree. One of your writers
on your talk show had written that joke. You would have fired him. I would have fired
him. He would have been lowered into lava. Right. Yes. Exactly. I would have fired him and he would have been lowered into lava. Right. Yes. Exactly.
I would have pulled the still beating hard from his chest.
Just like this goddamn movie.
I don't think Gold would come out there ever did that.
Lalalala!
Remember that?
I'm fucking GI Joe movie.
What did they all turn into?
You're an Arabs.
Because that's what's scary.
You want to know maybe business. All of a sudden
the Colbert's driving gold cars. They're concerned about oil. No, I don't I don't I just
always wondered why that was the case in the GI Joe movie and then it was uh...
Kevin, wow you are, no, now you're losing me. I mean I have seen the. Joe movie. And then it was, uh, Kevin, wow, you are, no, you're losing me.
I mean, I have to see the G.I. Joe movie, but I could not remember how we do a new podcast.
It's just a minute by minute of the G.I. Joe animated movie.
Well, remember we listened to a G.I. Joe podcast and it was one of the worst things you've
never heard.
Yeah.
And can we learn from that experience and maybe not do that?
I have a better idea for a podcast, Kevin.
You talk about things that I haven't seen in 25 years
and I'll pretend to fucking know what you're talking about.
Let's do that.
Remember at the end of poltergeist?
Ah, yeah, I guess.
What's up there, like a clown?
I don't know.
Oh boy. Yeah. I guess Like a clown
Boy, yeah, I don't know the movie was just fucking weird. I had blood in it. Joe movie. Yeah, Joe movie had blood in it
It's like what the animated one because there was a live action one, too No, no, the animated one. Yeah, like Duke
Duke gets like impaled and it's it's not even like red blood. It's like pink
Like they couldn't fully commit to like showing violence in the cartoons and they're like all right well
Well, you know what Kevin you did grow up poor maybe your TV sucked
It's the color the color was off. Yeah, the contrast was
Turned down weird maybe it wasn't even animated. Maybe that's how bad
it was. Did you even have the geek squad out to your house to check the color on your
television set? No, I haven't. Kevin, I have a track on here. This is so bizarre to me. Track
14, these guys have a hotline. That's right. A hotline in the year 2017. Play track for it
in.
Yeah.
And you know our Indiana Jones minute hotline, which is 724 lost arc, 724 lost arc.
Leave a message. How disgusting do you think this movie movie is or how funny do you think it is?
Or does it make you a little bit seasick because it's some of both?
That's okay too.
What is going on?
Even go recommenders like, oh, fucking hotlines.
I mean, this is so bizarre that like, hey on our podcast, you can call our hotline.
Those two words should not be in the same sentence
It doesn't I'm wildly confused by this. I like that you you clearly spent a lot of time pulling go recommender clips
In preparation for my leading I already miss you
Make let me just hoard all these clips I can
I shouldn't even know it's your god. I probably could have just played Nick Cade
Yeah, I know
Ambling on and on and then duck or I should have
So are we telling our listeners that they should call and leave a message?
I mean did you leave a message for the hotline about oh my god?
You should definitely call and
Leave us our
Podcast on their voice mail
Still going this is up this podcast was new is just from last week
Then be awesome if they played us talking about their show on their show
us talking about their show on their show. I might do this actually not.
But I encourage the listeners to do it,
because I don't like to get into these podcast war things.
Yeah, yeah.
That's open organically organically.
Like we mother fuck a podcast for 45 minutes.
And then it's like, how it happened?
These guys don't like us.
I don't know where.
Step by step.
Get the hell out of this ass.
It's so bizarre.
Oh, step by step.
We hardly knew you.
I have a clip on here that is the best part of the show.
It's my favorite part of the show.
I wish all of the show was like this, play Track One.
I wish all of the show was the joy The joy of the year is the joy of the year
Finish!
Finish!
It is pretty triumphant.
I love that.
It's a podcast!
I'm gonna do the other jokes!
You know, I usually rag on people for
shoe-horning in syllables and lyrics.
This one is flawless.
Love the harmonies.
Love how they take the Indian Jones and just put it at sideways a little bit that that theme song.
And then and then it's all downhill after that.
You know, you're you're 27 seconds in.
You're like, all right.
And then, uh,
all laughing at each other's dumb banter.
Yeah, if this was a bell curve, it would just be like a slide.
Is what it would look like.
I do have a clip, Kevin.
I went back and listened.
All right, I'm already lying.
I didn't really, but the very first minute of the movie,
I went back and listened to the podcast. They talked about the first minute of the movie, I went back and listened to the podcast,
they talked about the first minute,
and this is how ridiculous this show is.
They go on and on about the Paramount mountain
with the stars around it.
Oh my god.
Yeah, and so this is what happens
when you have to break down 60 seconds at a time,
you really have so much to talk about.
You got to play Track 15.
It speaks for itself.
Well, I love that we start once again with the Paramount mountain.
And this is kind of like the, this is the Indiana Jones version of the 20th century Fox fanfare.
Like this is kind of, this is what you expect.
It's probably cool, like sitting in the the theater like the first time you saw this
and be like oh you did it again they didn't they did the mountain thing that's
like a gag now i guess okay cool
although you think it's a you think it's at all disappointing that it's like it's
like a manufactured
you know mountain like it's not that they didn't find a mountain in Hawaii this
time that is like made one on a
on a gong
and kevin i left a lot of that obviously, but they go on and on about this
mountain. The first two or three minutes of the show is talking about it, not
even the movie yet, just talking about the stupid logo that comes up on the
screen. And yeah, it's, it's a rough one. I don't know why these, these types of
shows are so popular. I, I guess it's nostalgia rough one. I don't know why these these types of shows are so popular. I
Guess it's nostalgia or something. Are they popular? I don't I don't know if they are
Well, I don't know if they are either. That's a good point. I just there's so many of them Yeah, every movie has these types of podcasts. I assume that they're on to something
I
Have one more clip to play and then we can move on track nine.
This is them talking about a scene in the movie that's three seconds long.
Yeah.
Fight's off all three guys so that she can get away.
Like he selflessly sacrifices himself.
That's amazing.
Amazing.
Yeah, a few houses around there.
I also think that's amazing.
That's the problem with this thing.
They're talking about a three-second long,
little short scene.
And they're like, yeah, it's amazing.
It's not amazing.
All right.
Not even close to it.
The whole movie's not amazing.
I think we can all agree on this.
It's not the best Indiana Jones.
I mean, it makes, all right.
We put it this way. If they had not made
the Crystal Skull movie, it would have been the worst Indiana Jones. Agreed. Yeah, I
would have been the worst of the three that were out. But unfortunately, it's, it's
fucking citizen Cain compared to Crystal Skull. Garbage fucking piece of shit that is.
They are coming out with a new one too.
They're, uh, good.
I will not be going to the theater for that.
Fool me once.
No, thank you.
Well, I wish that I could say I was going out of the better note than the Indiana Jones
minute, but it's,'s, yeah, you know, it's, I'll tell you what, Kevin.
What's, what's, you know, send you out in style.
I have pulled up here the latest reviews on our iTunes page.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So May 14th of 2017,
D the Mailman got on our page
and posted a one-star review.
Now, for those who aren't familiar,
that is the fewest number of stars.
You can possibly rate a podcast that you have listened to.
The headline is not smart.
You ready for this, Kevin?
Okay, yeah, go for it.
Kevin's like, yeah, whatever.
I'm fucking, I'm out of here.
These are two stupid people trying to appear knowledgeable.
Now, let's stop right there.
What about our show makes us see like we're trying to appear knowledgeable.
That's, that's the wrong.
Yeah.
If I, if we ever sounded smart or tried to sound smart? I don't think so.
Clearly not.
I think you could have just said,
these are two stupid people, period.
Would have been fine.
I would have been, okay, yeah, I'm with you.
I will confess to only listening to pieces
of a few of their podcasts because I could not stomach
listening for more than a few minutes at a time.
So I apologize for your stomach issues.
I actually did not seek out this pot. I actually
did seek out this podcast as a guide to other podcasts, but found no guidance here. And again,
this is the thing we were laughing about last week is do people really think that this is
a show you listening to figure out what other podcasts are out there? Right. Because it's
not. It's like that, that's the goof. There's a trash can in the logo. That's the goof. I turned them off once and for all when they reviewed a live audience
Podcasts and questioned whether the audience was real because of the fades. Have they honestly never heard of editing?
So that was a
NPR show that we listened to that was
That was a NPR show that we listened to that was ridiculously done. The audience applause would fade in quickly and then fade right out.
And I think we were just goofy on the fact that it was really poorly edited.
Right, right.
I don't think we honestly thought there was no real live audience.
Oh, holy shit, these fucking people. I'm just curious to know the author because we kind of know a mailman with a D in his name.
Oh shit!
No what?
That's fucking funny because I've been hanging, I've hung out with that dude the last two
weekends and I kind of motherfucked him.
I wonder if it is the mailman with a dea to save
That's pretty funny. I just food for thought. I don't know if it's true. Although I don't think that dude even has the internet
The brightest bulbs in the forest. Yeah, I don't see him listening to multiple episodes of a podcast, but right, okay
Kind of funny though that you say that because yeah I don't see him listening to multiple episodes of a podcast, but right. Okay.
That's kind of funny though that you say that because yeah.
And then after that on May 18th, we got a five star review.
And this one is extremely positive.
And I liked that whoever this person is,
Crickstomp seems to understand the format here
that we have going on.
So that was really nice.
So I'll let people read that.
I don't want to read positive reviews on a show.
That's no fun.
Boo!
Exactly.
We only read the negative reviews,
but then we also discourage people
from leaving negative reviews. You know what's weird about this, though, Kevin? I look at these other podcasts
that we listen to and I look at the reviews because that could be content for our show.
And even when the podcasts are really lame, nobody goes on there and leaves shitty reviews.
People here at show, they don't like it very much. They just move on. I don't know what
it is about our show. other people feel like this fucking show
I'm gonna let that I'm gonna write out 17 sentences about how shitty their show like right get it
It's fine. Did you have anything else to do? Can't you talk about the latest Amazon product that took too long to get to your house or something?
or
What makes me really
intrigued by the whole thing is
There's a lot of people in here that this is their first review so you had to
Create a profile on your whatever iTunes account in order to relieve this review
Do you know me times a fucking app on my iPhone pops up and was like hey?
Haven't filmed this app you want to leave us a review and I'm like fuck you I'm playing
You haven't fun with this app? You wanna leave us a review and I'm like,
fuck you, I'm playing Candy Crush.
I've never won, right, I've never was,
but that's exactly what I wanna do right now.
I just leave you a fucking review,
I don't give a shit about you.
So these people were so angered by our show
that they were like, fuck it, I'm making an account.
And I'm leaving my first ever review on this podcast.
Well, it's funny you say that because most of these negative reviews are people who have
podcasts that we've ripped on and they get butter and they get on here and create an
account and, you know, tell us that we suck.
This one that I just read is probably a clever podcast.
There was like, I don't want them to know that I'm just butter because they didn't like
my stupid podcast as if the clue is podcast so I'm gonna be telling that listen to a whole bunch of different episodes and
I don't like him because they're just not good right right
That's my guess
But hey, we're you know
No, this thing is bad publicity. We're getting a lot of activity lately
So we definitely encourage people if you like the show to go on and give us a five star review. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM ATP will be going forward. But the next podcast we were going to do, we were going to have a guest host.
Correct. Yep. We were going to have it. We've done it a couple of times. We've had a third host on the show.
So we're going to do that podcast that we were going to do with that host,
Sans Kevin, and hopefully we'll have more news at that time.
But I do want to, like we always do, play a teaser clip from
the podcast that I'll be reviewing next week's WATP and go ahead and play next week's teaser
clip.
With Jays moving on with everything else going on, we could use a break, so we're going
to take one and then we're going to resume being awesome in August.
You know what, I'm really excited about.
What's that?
The chance to actually get ahead.
You have ahead, it's right there on your shoulders.
Did you want another?
Like say, if I had people rocks?
Is this what happens when we record at night?
Apparently.
Oh.
All right, so this is Jay and Miles
explain the X-Men.
Episode number 157 melted to slag. This was a suggestion that came in. Apparently, it's a very popular
podcast for people who like AXMAN, I suppose. And yeah, so Jay and Miles are the host. You heard
what their witty banter sounds like. So, Kevin, you picked a good time my friend this is over an hour long.
One of those sounds like a girl is that Jay or mine? Yes, that would be Jay.
The Jay stands for Vajay Jay. Boom. Boom. Shaka Laga. So yeah, that's it for us. Any parting words of advice or
encouragement, Kevin? No, I'd say just keep on trucking and other truck related.
I'm proving once again that Kevin takes zero notes and does not prefer the show That's keep on trucking keep and I ask our our listener there to please join me again next week
Because it might be the episode where I find out once and for all who are these fucking podcasts sleep well every pony of Morning Radio. And now to show these cold white cows. You know, who are these?
Podcasts.
I don't know.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense.