Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep76 - Life Bytes

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

Two guys do a podcast. Where have we heard that before? There's nothing special or interesting about the show, they just read stuff off the internet and have boring conversations about it. It's a yawn factory. This week Andy is back to explain why this pod should not exist and somehow Karl is the guy apologizing. Whatever. These guys thoroughly suck. However, thanks to Derek for listening and asking for the review. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's show time. That's what we come in Our caseroom is like a global commander right? Andy W-A-G-D W-A-G-P Who are these partners? W-A-T-P? Who likes these partners, not W-A-G-P? Who likes these partners, not W-A-G-P?

Who likes these partners, not W-A-T-P W-A-T-P Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. We listen to podcasts so that you don't have to. I'm your host Carl. With me today, back once again is Andy the Goats. What up, bag slappers. I'd like to remind our listeners you can can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter,

at whoarethese.com. If you like what you hear, and I gotta imagine you do, don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called Life Bites. Andy and I both listen to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand,

which was difficult, we wanted to. But now we can, Andy. Let's get into it. We're so so much to discuss so much to discuss. So life bites. We listened to you episode four unethical life hacks And I just want to set this up that Derek Watson is one of the hosts of the show He actually sent us a no and said guys if you want review our partners, right? He basically pre-cut his underwear, so it wouldn't hurt as much if he gave him the wedgie. That's smart.

That does not mean you're not gonna get both barrels, Taric. That's right, we'll put the underwear on for you, and that'll give you the wedgie. So this hosted by Brian Ross and Derek Watson, and Brian Ross seems to be the driver of the show. I think Derek kind of just reacts to what Brian is doing. Yeah, Derek seems like he's under duress. And Brian sounds like everything that comes out of his mouth is a complete lie. Yeah. The other thing about Brian that I noticed

is he's very full of himself. He talks about how he's artistic and creative, which is something that artistic and creative people don't do. Oh, right. I've never met someone who just tells you how creative they are all the time. You know, well, me, I'm very creative. Yeah, I think there's a part two where it's like, I'm not going to lie. I'm, to be honest with you, whenever somebody says truthfully, you know, they're lying. Everything else out of their mouth is a lie, exactly. So we listened to this unethical life hacks.

I actually listened to another episode as well. I listened to the first one just because I think I remember the teaser, you're like, this was, he said, this is the worst one we ever did. So I was like, is it? Let me listen to another. And that one was terrible too. Okay, so I actually listened to a bonus episode where they just read questions from Reddit and answer questions about their favorite movie. This was all just reading a list from Reddit too.

Yeah, this episode, on ethical wife hacks, is, all right, let's set up what this is. They go through a list of things they found on the internet. And if you had found this on the internet, you would have stopped reading about two or three pages then. No, yeah. You know, when you get to those things, it's like the internet, you would have stopped reading about two or three pages in. No, yeah. You know, when you get to those things, it's like, 40 celebrities, you can't believe what they looked like.

No, you do like click it to your account board. Yeah. That's what this was. Unethical white packs, the most boring shit you've ever heard. And you would think that they know they're gonna do this as a topic of the show. They would be prepared to talk about it.

Listen to how they get out out of the gate where Derek can't even think of an example of a life hack. It seems like a lot of these are hacks that people would actually go and do other than the hacks that they suggest or life hacks that, like, I don't know, use clothes pins to, I don't know, just open up a beer or some stupid point of track. What, a close been open up a beer. Yeah, that's

You could have been armed with a single life. Oh, yeah, I can relate to yeah, there's several as far as you know I'm gonna throw out a few as we shit on theirs. I'll give you some better ones as we go long has that sounds good Andy, what do you want to play for your clips here front to back it was a disaster the from Time code 0.00 That was your first class. It was terrible. This is the first thing you hear Please read from sheets No, fuck that

That is that's what he's trying to say that they have sponsors that they're ignoring. Isn't that read from sheet? Is that what that is? I'm pretty sure that he's... It's again, it's like I'm gonna make fun of the fact that we have no sponsors. Please give us a sponsor. Right after that, they play their terrible intro music, which is garbage. And then speaking of getting off to a slow star,

this happens. My name is Brian Ross. Over here we have. Yeah. What's your name, dude? Derek Watson. He didn't even remember his name. He's put you on the spotlights of the first episode or some shit. He probably thought you were going to introduce him. Yeah. And that's not a good way to start the podcast. Here's an idea. Hip-Hop's Start over edit edit it out later. They even make a reference to editing. There's from the other episode I listened to. There's this Comment. I know there's quite a bit of things you'll have to edit out. Check out the big brain on bread You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. Yeah, there are a lot of things that you could have added it out,

but I guarantee they added nothing out. Yeah. Because if they did, you wouldn't have all of these clips that we have lined up for us today. The other thing that happens, and then we'll move on with that, right at the beginning of the show, after they have that terrible intro, they do what I call the opposite of foreshadowing.

Man, this is gonna be a fun episode. Wrong. Oh, not fun. Anyone get into some of these unethical white packs? Sure, the very first one, you knew it was gonna be a train wreck. This is the first thing that they bring up. I buy furniture from the Frifth shop and I dress it up and then I saw it on Etsy to Rich Hipster snobs for outrageous sums. Actually, you kind of, I think you skipped that, but anyway, that was, I thought, actually a good idea. Hey, I have a skill trade. I'm, Carl, I'm

gonna go buy a car. Right. And fix it up. Right. And sell it for more money when I bought it for. Yeah. That's not an unethical white pack. Right. And then if someone's willing to pay for something more than you paid for it, that's right after it. And then right after it's a track for he realizes. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. A lot of these just seem like stuff that you would do and it's not really unethical. Yeah. He's just like, oh, that's actually a good idea. Yeah, there's nothing unethical about that. So the wife hacks get into ridiculous territory very quickly. There's one that doesn't even make sense. If you're gonna wanna order things from Amazon Prime,

order a day before a hurricane. Oh man, here's an example. I ordered a $70 item on 825, two days before Hurricane Harvey flooded the shit out of Houston. On their website, it said, Guaranteed Delivery Date Monday 8.28. No, I would have paid for it gladly had it arrived on time. But my idea was it probably won't make it in time due to the potential flooding. We get it.

Could he over-explain that anymore? Okay, so here's the scenario, Andy. You want to get the $70 item. Wait for Hurricane in your area, okay? Got it, got it. Okay, then this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna really stick it to the man. You're gonna order it with one day shipping

and when it doesn't arrive at one day because there's a natural disaster people are dying you get the $70 I never free yeah It's fucking retarded. I know that I'm gonna go to a flood and when I'm trying to like help people out of the water I'm gonna just pull my hand away Where they reach out to grab it. Life hack! Yeah, you have to yell life hack as you do.

I think I'm just gonna yell that from now on when I cut people off in traffic. You have a clip on here where they talk about free dinner, getting a free dinner. Put less than $50 dinner on your credit card. Leave without signing the receipt. Contest the charges. Credit card company will refund your money. After he says that, the other guy, Brian, says, oh yeah, so if you want to take a date out to an expensive restaurant, you could do this. He says that, the other guy, Brian says, oh yeah, so if you want to take a date out

to an expensive restaurant, you could do this. Yeah. You can't do it with $50 or more. What the fuck are you buying for $49 with another person at a restaurant? Yeah, that's like, you can't even go for a dinner for two and out bag. Right, where are these people live?

I don't understand how that works at all. And so, again, just a dumb. dumb meanwhile you're fucking over your credit score like you have to put a weedwacker on lay-away It's tears because you stole a $50 dinner at bugaboo creed Well the weedwacker wait for hurricane and then you can get it for free. Okay This is a Ridiculous clip. They're talking about one of the life hacks is having a fair with a realtor because they have keys to houses all over the area

and then you don't have to get a hotel room. All right, so this dummy says this. I thought it would be really cool like HBO show, Brennus. Like some guys is banging realtors in like multiple houses. It seems to me like you're on the ex book mark. Why and why would that be?

Have you seen HBO shows before? They have really good shows out there. I'm pretty sure you're not going to follow up the sopranos with all right coming up the new episode of fucking a realtor. Hey, someone's house isn't sold yet. Okay, I don't I didn't understand. I'm guessing this guy does not work for HBO and he's not in the development department because that is a boring premise. Did you hear the one where he wants to break up with his girlfriend? Well, she's not her period. Oh, yes. And so that she can't tell you that she's pregnant. That's like something, you're just a dick.

I have that one, here we go. If you realize that your girlfriend is fucking crazy, then dump her while she's on her period. That way she can't tell you she's pregnant. That's horrible. That's not horrible, first of all. That's one of the dumbest things on here, because when women say that they're pregnant and they're lying

They can also say that they didn't get their period. Yeah, like what are you gonna do? You're gonna inspect it first they go, okay, we're breaking up. There's a tap on up out of here I don't even know how this plays out. It's a dick hack. It's a dumb hack. It's a dumb hack This is the dumbest one by far. All right. Here's a dumb hack. It's a dumb hack. I maybe should have the hack is dick off. It's a dumb hack. This is the dumbest one by far. All right, here's a quick one. When you take your driver's license picture, try to look as drunk as you possibly can. Full proof flat.

Oh, right. Yeah, I mean, you get that roadblock. They're just gonna let you drive right. Oh, you're always wasting, okay, sir. I don't know, I think it's my track eight, another misfire when it comes to dodging the cops. Hey, I got one for all you underage drinkers out there. Check it out.

If you go to any parties where you know the cops are gonna show up, dress like a pizza delivery guy. So when the cops show up, you just walk the fuck out. Yeah. As if being drunk in your work clothes will excuse you from getting arrested. I was thinking the same thing. The worst thing you do if you're underage drinking is then run to your car in front of the cops. And I act like you're drunk delivering pizzas.

I feel like that's even more illegal. Yeah. There's plenty, I used to work in a pizza place. I got drunk in a pizza shirt many times. That's not gonna work, no. There was actually one hack I'm here that I thought was interesting. It was the only one that actually was relevant and interesting. I think you have a clip on here, but it was the put a garbage

can of or fire hydrant. Yeah, I would actually do that. Well, they knew riding around with a garbage can in your car. Yeah, of course. Why not? It's a difference. You can actually argue that in court and win. I don't see why not. I don't think so. In your incidence of the law, it does not excuse you for breaking it. How can I possibly know there's a fire hydrant when I pulled up Took out a garbage can and put it over said fire hydrant. You're on her. Yeah, this is a ridiculous matter That's something I want this just miss somebody with white privilege would argue All right, well, here's more of the ridiculousness of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for.

Unethical life hacks. See what I did there, I'm gonna add that voice, yeah, that's gonna sound fucking awesome. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the limit of all the production value of the show. That was the limit of the production value. Other than that, it was just two boring people having a conversation, which I always say is not a show. Talking about what you read on the internet, not a show, asking each other questions about your favorite movies or conspiracy theories. Not a show.

Read the list of uproxes, not a show. Carl, I have a grocery store hack here. Okay. If you follow this, it'll shave minutes and minutes off of your grocery shopping. Oh, and you got it. It says eggs, milk, family-sized jergins. I don't have a family.

Giant box of Kleenex, I'm not sick. Yeah. Oh. It's your point as you jerk off the job. I played as a make a grocery list. Make a grocery shop. Make a walk around a lot. Awesome life.

So what if you get my jerk off supplies? Not only do these guys have a boring podcast, they're also dumb. Here is an example of that. Isn't there a thing where some they also use drones to make deliveries? Oh, they're looking into it. And there's, here's the thing is they're starting to pass, I think it's going to happen because they're starting to pass drone laws where it's a felony to shoot one down, which is smart. Okay. So he's talking about

Amazon delivering with drones. They're starting to pass laws where it's illegal to shoot down drones. How are they? Andy. It is illegal to shoot your gun into the air. It's an lesser than the area for hunting and you have a hunter's license. What the fuck is this guy talking about? There's this new law you can't shoot things out of the sky. You know shit, dummy. You know the bullets continue to travel beyond the destination when you shoot them into the sky.

I know other people's property that they own. You can't shoot it. I just thought that was funny because I own a drone. I knew you were going to love the drone. I'm a drone enthusiast. I thought that's how you met Derek. You're you're you're Droning on with Carl and Derek coming to Carl's podcast network. All right, you guys can't see this at home, but right now I'm hovering over the city skyline and

The sun's in the background. It's really nice shadows happening here. It looks amazing. Yeah, looks amazing I wish you could see it on my podcast by the way So the reason why I bring up the fact that I'm a drone enthusiast is because there are a lot of laws being passed But they're not pro drone loss at all. They're all anti-drone It's not like hey, man Let think I flash you whenever you want stop you to dick. No, that's not what's going on I'm recording the college girls. Stud me. They were drone. I went to a Bills game and I was flying my drone in the parking lot beforehand and

The cop came over and told me that they were told to take drones away from people if they're flying them in the parking lot Over the stadium. Really? Yeah. Which I don't know how that is possible. What law am I breaking? Are you in FAA? He did take it away, buddy. Actually, the cop was really cool.

He's like, oh, is that a DJI-3? I got a DJI-2. I was like, all right, cool. I'm even, we can have a conversation. And then he hit you with his Billy Club for being a bills fan. Well, I deserve that. There's more of these guys just not understanding how life works. Oh, yeah, they get into business tech news and this fried guys an idiot. They, uh, they discuss a, a potential partnership between Google and Walmart.

And he's just not having it. But themselves, they just beat Walmart for number one retailer not having it. But themselves and that's the same. They just beat Walmart for number one retailer and they don't even have a fucking physical store. I heard Google and Walmart are actually teaming up to take on Amazon's market. I highly doubt Google would ever team up with Walmart. I mean, those are two spectrums of fucking of like love and hate. But who knows?

I know, but it's like, yeah. All right, dear double. Google and Walmart are giant corporations. They don't have personalities. They're not going, well, I don't want to talk to those jerks. They're Walmart. No, corporations do whatever's in the best interest for the corporation. They do it all the time.

They do it all the time. And by the way, this guy, Derek, thank you, Derek. This is true. It was at the news that Google and Walmart are looking to partner up to try to take on Amazon It actually makes a lot of sense and then Following that up our buddy Brian gives us this tidbit of information Do they fucking need it? No, they should just stay at the fuck out of it. They have it They make money everywhere else. They're money printing company. I should have set that up

So he's talking about Google. And he says, they're not teeming up with Walmart besides, why do they need to do that? They don't need more money. I'm guessing this guy is not an executive at Google. Could you imagine he walks into a board meeting like, how do we continue to grow our bottom line? It's like, dude, there you see our P&L, we're good. Their business is vacuiting up all the money.

Exactly, that's what businesses do. No, no, no, no, no, stop growing guys. I think we've made enough money. We're good. Fucking idiot. They are ridiculous. I promise some real life hacks. How about stealing your mom's Netflix password

and getting that Flicks for free? Love it. More to come. What if you just asked for permission to use it? Could you do that too? I mean, you have a good relationship with your mom. I would be unethical. I'm Carl. Good point Here is the outro to the show and I apologize in advance this music is garbage and then for some reason and again These guys don't have a format. There's really no

Reason why the show exists and then for some reason at the end they have a Donald Trump in person. Yeah, Brad you suck dick Nice bites is hosted by Brian Ross in Derek Watson, tremendous people, okay? The incredible music is by Van Dork, the second, fantastic stuff, okay. What the fuck is that? I don't know. It comes out of nowhere and exists for no reason. Their show is not meant to be funny, I don't think. No.

Because they're just discussing something they write on the internet, which is always great fun for a podcast. meant to be funny, I don't think. No. Because they're just discussing something they were on the internet, which is always great for a podcast. Is there a reason for giving the credits to a podcast of this level? You don't. Yeah, especially that music, it just sounds like computer generated garbage.

I don't know if you need to credit an artist for doing it. Did you know, all right, Carl, you're an expert on male, respiratory devices. Sure. Did you notice that when you're checking your phone to see how much longer you have to listen to this, the logo for the podcast looks like a fleshlight? I actually have a notebook. It looks like a mangled vagina. If you turn it sideways, it's not good. Yeah, like you can get fleshlates that look like vaginas. You can get fleshlates that look like

mouths. And this looks like the word between mouth fleshlates that you would never want to fuck. And it's very upsetting to look at when you're trying to figure out how to do it. Remember the torture about their creative people, their artists. So yeah, so they probably had a lot to do with that. And you have some more clips from the show you want to play? Sure. Why don't you play Track 11? All right. The weird tall guy with tattoos.

Yeah. That's not going to get noticed by anybody. Yeah. Yeah. I'm too tall to not get noticed though. That's another thing too. It's being 6'7". You can't just fucking be a quiet guy in a corner anywhere I imagine it's very hard for someone like you to blend into absolutely really anywhere That's why I have the tattoo's I just embraced being a goofball a weird person

Yeah, I just want to apologize. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were six seven with tattoos. Don't beat me up dude This this whole part I thought was ridiculous. He talks about that's why I got tattoos back cuz I'm just different I want to stand out everyone has tattoos. Hey fucking kidding me. I can't go into wankers And I'll see a face tattoo that day. Yeah, he's like six seven with tattoos. I was like, oh that's why I get Derek won't quit this show You gotta come over and do the podcast. Okay. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it Brian. He's holding Derek down in his chair Andy you have a clip out here about how Brian was an actor too. Yeah

See my thing is I was an actor for many years. You know, I wanted to be an actor I went to school for a theater and acting. I wanted to be a comedic actor and that's why I did stand up and all that. I love how he just throws these things out there. You know, I mean, I was an actor. That's why I did stand up. That's why he's so creative. He's such a genius.

And it led me to do it. It's free podcast. That sucks. I will spend. Yeah, exactly. All right. So I want to move to the other episode. We can come back to this one,

but I wanna talk about the other episode I listened to, which was again, a bonus episode. So here's the setup for that. Hey, my beautiful podcast people. This is Brian from LifeBites. And me and Derek, we record a lot of fucking material. Sometimes it doesn't really fit into an episode or into anywhere. So I figured, you know what? If we got all this extra content, why not just randomly release episodes that are bonuses?

And this is the first one. Alright, I'm just going to throw this out there. I've seen this with other podcasts too. If you have a podcast, you can't have bonus episodes. There's no rule of when to put them out or how to put them out. It's just an episode of your podcast. Yeah. Why would you have a bonus episode? Are you saying that it's not as good as the other episode? Well, don't put it out. Definitely not.

If you decided to cut it, you probably cut it for a good reason. They should have cut this. There was a very good reason to cut this out. So this is the setup to the premise of this episode. Pretty much what I'm going to do here is I'm just gonna select a bunch of random topics off of Ask Reddit, and we're gonna discuss it. Ooh, we're gonna discuss it.

We're gonna talk about things you don't care about. Are you Brian? Here is the uncomfortable force conversation that that occurs after that. Which TV series do you consider a true masterpiece? A true masterpiece. Well, me personally, I'm into anything comedy and the one thing, the one show I would say that has enough redeeming qualities. Oh wait, can I guess it before you tell me? This is a podcast! If I was in a room with these guys I just get up and walk out and obviously to download this and listen to it on purpose

This fucking people this forced boring conversation and he Tell me about a TV commercial you've enjoyed in the last 30 days We think about it for 20 minutes and that make you guess what's not cut any of this out in Post will Leave it Okay, let me let me set up the clip because this guy is no idea how to answer this question Derek Yes, what conspiracy theory are you certain? Is true and why?

I hate the way he asks that. It's so uncomfortable. Andy, what an FL football team is going to win this weekend and why? We be alone creep. Exactly. So, this guy, Derek, our friend, our listener, Derek, does not understand how to answer this question. This is his answer to it. Did we land on the moon? I believe we did Call me a job call me crazy. Wait. No, that's not a conspiracy theory. You think it's true Conspiracy theory is saying that it was faked. Okay. Now. Let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retar

His his answer to the like what's a conspiracy you think is true? His answer is I think we did like on the moon. I think NASA did a lot of hard good work. It can't be actually landed on the moon. That's not a conspiracy. That's what they're telling you happened. So then they do talk about a conspiracy

that they both agree is true. I've never heard of this. So you got to tell me about it. You know, my, my favorite conspiracy theory that I'm certain is true is the challenger explosion. Do you remember the challenger? Oh right yeah. Yeah the challenger exploded I think it was like 85. Okay I changed mine now. Yeah I bind to that too. So in 1986. Like they're saying it did we have a space shuttle

that blew up on national television. I watched it. We all did. Yeah. It was depressing. And they're saying that the astronauts are not on board. Those people are still alive. And so I've never heard of this. Have you?

Oh, what end? OK, thank you. So I looked it up on the snopes. And I'm not saying the snopes is all the answers. I know the snopes is full of shit. But I looked it up. And snopes is like, this is a ridiculous conspiracy theory first off It started in 2015 because someone found a bunch of people on Facebook that looked like the people who were astronauts 30 years ago

Okay, so like oh these people are still alive But that was exactly the point on snopes. It's like why would they have this conspiracy? I'm a twid brother people look like Why would they have this conspiracy with brother people look like Why would they have this conspiracy exactly to what end we're gonna pretend that we're incompetent our jobs Yeah, and that we murdered A million dollar is it mills multi million dollar rocket just exploded and these guys are both like yeah That's definitely not that definitely did not happen why would anybody that was it That's

I bought into a lot of conspiracy theories over the years and that one I've never heard next life heck Tell the waitress at tg. I Friday said it's your birthday even if it's not You get free dessert You can do that. No, I'm so unethical. Yeah, dude, you're taking money out of TGI Friday's pocket. Fuck him. All right, so this is a funny part. Again, going back to the fact that these people are dumb.

They're talking about back in the day, people didn't have the internet and they didn't know things. And they thought there were sea monsters. And here is how they back up that theory. Yeah we thought fucking what? 1500 years ago, 2000 years ago there were sea creatures. They're in our maps. I have a map right here. I have a globe right here that has an old 1700 map on it and it shows fucking that exact same globe. Do you? It shows, it literally shows.

Oh, I know. Monsters in the sea. So. All right, I know what he's talking about. You know, I got those old-timey maps. Yeah. They would have the big sea creature on there. Yeah.

It was not because they really thought there was a sea creature the size of a small continent in the ocean. It was just a fun thing to do. I was just a little illustration. Yeah. They would add to the map. It wasn't like, all right, if you're gonna get in a boat, don't go this way. That's where the monster lives.

Big shit. I'm sure to avoid the sea monster. This guy thinks that in the 1700s, people were drawing sea monsters on globes because they thought there was a sea monster on earth The size of a continent. It's fucking idiot Maybe they did They're stupid as this guy. I got to get a jingle for when someone shits up my point Thanks a lot Andy. I really appreciate it. I'm not yet standing. I'm no budding. Yeah, well, like like my balls

Yeah, it's the appropriate drop for that feels good feels good Andy he asks them a Question about his favorite movie Ryan asked Derek Then he decides that he wants to play a little game. It has Christian bail in it. Oh, wait, wait, I want to play Guess It. Okay, who else is in it? Sean Bean. Interview with the vampire. What the fuck?

I knew you'd like that. Ha ha ha ha. First off, nobody wants to hear you, and this went out for a while. Nobody wants to hear you, guess what? Movie a while No one wants to hear you guess what movie your friend the like guess wrong Yeah, then guess a movie that can't possibly be the answer And who would want to listen to that so this is a clip of them still trying to guess the movie oh my god I'm gonna predict that you will know what this is Christian Bell Sean bean there was like a prisoner movie

I remember okay another actor in it, Tay Diggs. Fuck. Tay Diggs, Sean Bean and Christian Bell. What? Okay, hold on. Tay Diggs. Okay, he's that black model, right? Uh, oh. Okay. Anyway, this goes on for a while.

This guy obviously does not know what the movie is. Yeah, well guess what? I don't know either. And I'm starting to think that it's not even a real movie. Well, it's equilibrium. Oh, okay. It's apparently the movie is not a novel. I do know that movie, but I would never guess that.

Yeah, I mean, this is what I'm talking about. Why would they make a show where he goes, what's your favorite movie? And he's like, oh, well, there is this movie I really like. It's like, wait, wait, wait, I want to try to guess it. The movie going through this whole thing, it came out in 2002. It's like, is it Batman? No, it's not Batman.

Jesus, it's not a show. It's not a show. Bad guessing with Derek and Brian. Yeah, I tried to guess my buddy's favorite thing. The only thing you can do is show it. Carl, I I was holding up three three figures how many figures are my only What color is the white house? With with no setup or reference to that, yeah, okay. That was the best thing that happened on this podcast, guys.

Again, for the oops. More of that, guys. All right, here's a clip where he asks, what's your favorite quote, which is a really boring question. This is how not to podcast. Listen to all the mouth noises that are being made here. What is your, Derek? What is your favorite quote? He's trying to get him to make out with him.

Yeah, I think they were making out. Yeah. And then this is... If you don't, we still did the day is hurt. I still did from my fucking nineteen year book. I day without a buzz. The day that never was rock. This is bright explaining how creative he is, which is always fun. Here's the thing is I'm surprised you don't have. You don't utilize position

because you're a creative person and creative people usually that's what I try to use it for. try to gain try to get as much friends as I can so I can just promote things I'm working on yeah we're kind of test material so what Brian does is he does this he plays this game he really wants to talk about himself but he asks questions to Derek so that he can eventually talk about himself so when he says what's your favorite quote Derek's like I don't know what the he's waiting Who has a favorite quote tell you? Well, I have a favorite quote it's from this book called blah blah blah

What is this and what it means is that and it's like all right, dude Just tell you that you don't have to play this game I took the road less travel that made all the difference You know it's a fucking cell but that's what this whole Episode was of him asking Derek a question just to be like, okay, who cares? What I like is it's like, okay, whatever. Derek does say something extremely douchey because he's not into social media, which is fine, but he does. Brian doesn't watch TV. Right away. throws you throws this out there, which is so douche-chilling

Yeah, I don't know I don't want to say oh I was ahead of my time or anything because I totally didn't see it going this way But in a way I kind of felt like Maybe it would have because that's exactly what happened to my space. I Don't want to say I was ahead of my time. We just did and no one was thinking that. I had a very time by what abandoning social media? I got fronters! I love it. Alright, let's get back to these unethical life hacks.

Yeah, we got it. This was very informative. I think you got a few more clips on here we got to get to. Should I just run through them? Me, I think I only have one left. It was the very last one and it was pretty hilariously bad. Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'll fill everybody in right now. If you want to get a permanent copy of Microsoft Office

for your PC is, so what you do is you, if you're looking at the prices on the Microsoft store to purchase Microsoft Office, there's only one reasonable option really and that's for students. The rest of the subscriptions are one time payment for a single device. There is no one time payment for a multi-device license. What the fuck am I reading? Nevermind. Epic sale.

Yeah, that was brutal. That was how they ended the show. It was followed by a gunshot and then it'd be screaming my foot, my foot. Yeah, that was nuts. That's how they ended it. That was the coup d'agre. Yeah. It was like fucking up.

It was actually fitting to end it with them. And you do have two more clips. Oh yeah. I'm just going to play them. Okay, yeah. And then if you figure out why you picked these clips, you're going to have it with. And you do have two more clips. Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna play them. Okay. And then if you figure out why you picked these clips, you're gonna. I'll remember. I'll remember. You can explain this. What you do is you take your phone apart, gingerly, you paint over that very gingerly white and then put the phone back together. Oh, that's smart. Yeah. Or I was thinking, you know, you just take your phone apart, you remove that sticker, put it in a safe place, and then put it back if, say, your screen is cracked.

I can't even take the phone off my case card. By the case off of my phone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, down a little bit. What they're talking about this unethical life hack is that there's a sticker inside your phone that changes colors when it gets wet. So that if you try to bring your phone back say it's not working, they can see whether you got it wet or not. So these guys brilliant idea is you're going to get your phone wet, you're going to drop it to the toilet. So when you get it, take it apart, find this sticker, pull it out, put it on the fridge, and then actually drop it to the toilet Pull it apart again put it back in yeah, this is the dumbest thing I've ever I don't know what phone you have I have an iPhone I have an iPhone 7 and it's a big take apart. How does it come apart? You can't take this apart

What the fuck is this solid single piece? Yeah, they decided so that you can't take it apart When this breaks I'm so out. I'm not gonna be fucking pulling it apart, taking out stickers. All right, we got one more that we want to play. Yeah, actually, this one, I have actually done this better. This is something that I've done. So let's hear their method, and I'll tell you mine. You see where you want to end up, and it's across a giant crowd of sea of people. If you just stay fixed on what you're looking at,

as you're walking through this group of people, something subconscious like they pick up on it, they move out of the way. Well, that's unethical life. Okay, yeah. And that's not true. People don't move out of your way, just because you're looking

off in the distance like a creep. What I do is start muttering. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up. And then people get out of your way. That always works better. Yeah. If you want to get right in front of clutch, you just matter. I'm gonna throw up as you're trekking through the crowd, people get the flock out of the way. Andy, that's all the clips we have for this show. And I want to thank Derek Watson for writing us and telling us to check out his podcast. He is a good sport. He's a good sport. I appreciate it.

His partner, Brian, maybe Nees has stopped talking about himself and how awesome he is. I mean, honestly, I can relate. I know everyone thinks that if they have a conversation with their friend, it's good enough to be a show. Chances are it's not. I'm just going to throw that out there. You're not that interesting. You're not that important.

I'm glad you're having fun with your friends. Right. So I get each other's company. That doesn't mean everybody wants to watch. If you want to have microphones, you want to play like you're doing a show if you were gonna listen to go ahead Just don't put it on the internet and make a shitty logo that looks like a mangled vagina and calling a podcast That that's all that's all I would say, but don't listen to us. We're doing the same thing. Yeah, what do we know? What do we know?

So Andy I got a note from our friend Marcus in the UK. Huh Marcus is a listener, but also I call him a producer. Yeah, he's created some jingles for us I'm not gonna lie Carl. I think you should figure out a way to Skype them in he should be a guest host at some point That would be good. I think that's a good idea. We should have him on sometime Marcus has done things like this for us. He also put together this little clip for us. All these podcasts. All these podcasts.

All right, terrific. I thought you did that. No, no. I'm glad you gave it Marcus, folks. That was Marcus, you put that together. So you rock, Marcus. Yes. He, uh, he sent a note into the show.

I had mentioned on a previous episode that there's something going on with the name Carl. I don't know if you remember this Andy. It has been a theme. It's the punchline to jokes. Yes. You know, it's a Carl's the dumb stupid guy. And if you ever want to have like a,

actually I brought this up when we were doing the Adam Corolla show with Croge because the Geico commercial was like is this car always like yeah? Why are we going out dates? Oh It's it's it's just a thing that I've noticed and if you're not named Carl you probably wouldn't notice that so Marcus says although I thought I was quite well informed on conspiracy theories

It was only through your show that I learned learned the evil scheme to dumb down the name Carl. Recently I was watching a rather camp sounding Scottish Minecraft YouTuber. And in a recent video, he was going to name a llama and said the following. Okay, so the name of the Lama is actually going to be Carl. It caused, if you've seen Lama's with Haps, the little animation. His name is Carl. And also Carl's just a funny name. Also, I apologize if I didn't have a name Carl. I also sounds like such a weird name to say, like Carl. So this is true. This is happening. I want to mention that this is just a Scottish YouTuber, but this guy is 300,000 subscribers

Okay, so this is getting propagated and I don't like it. Yeah, I would imagine you wouldn't I am not a fan of this whole thing So markets I am a fan. They're doing God's work Please keep it up. I need I need boots on the ground. We got to stop this whole thing We got to stop this from happening and it's too much Andy you know what I love about you. What's it? You know when to leave But the other thing that I like about you is that you did a little production ahead of time Yeah, and you put together something for the show Which you didn't know is that the goat has his own Jingles Jen. Yes.

Jen too. Sweet. And we did it. I'm trying to drum up sponsors for the show. Bellas Point, Great Brutes Gulp in. If you're listening, send us a case. Yep. But since we don't have any yet, I guess we're going to have to go with this. W-A-T-P is brought to you in part by third rate here.

Are you setting the bar at good enough? Why not settle for mediocre? Third rate gear. Huh. Ambi. Low hanging fruit. Need a joke fast? Go for the most obvious punchline with low hanging fruit.

And also buy verbal crutches. I mean, do you like need like some time to like think of what you want to say try verbal crutches? Know what I'm saying Guess of the wattvs. They have the wrong damn house guess the sponsor to pop up by beer and Carl's fridge that he doesn't want to drink Back to you come So true. Yeah, you know what I mean I like it and you know what that means when we play it. And you know what that means. And we play the sponsor real. You know what that means, Andy.

I do know it. It's that time of the show. I finally know. That's right, Andy. It's everyone's favorite part of the show. Right and when I say everyone It's overwhelming. I can't even get to all the tweets of people telling me. This is their favorite part of the show Yeah, they love the teaser clip. Right. Do you know why I do this? It's so that the audience could be that they could start edging Yes, for the next episode before you make them come in their earpluses before you make them come in their earpluses. It's exactly right. Some have been reading my blog. So yes, we're gonna play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing next week

to get you excited about next week's episode of WATP. I can't believe we're gonna have another new episode next week. How do we do? I don't know, I can't believe it's going on this long. Every seven days, it's unbelievable. So here is said teaser. Yeah! Yeah!

Ah! Welcome to Dic. You want Dic, you need Dic, you love Dic, it's a show where everything is a contest coming to you live from a mountain bunker. Deep in the heart of the city of failure, I'm your host, Dick Masterson. With me is always a shunt. Hello, engineer.

What's up, buddy? Keep waiting to say that. I'm gonna leave it longer and longer like that. Yeah, uncomfortable. It's gonna be an hour, an hour of yeah, and then 40 minutes of silence until I really bring it home Alright, oh yeah, let's just do it right now Dic show we're gonna be listening to episode 69 dick on dick. I I already like this show

This is from September 26 2017 if you're playing along at home This will be a submission from a listener Matt Hullshoff So thank you very much For this suggestion the only thing that I'm bummed about is that this episode is two hours a night minutes long Which is brutal, but yes the the Dix show the Dix show is a weekly science and rage based podcast where everything is a contest and the And there ams no rules especially grammar rule And there ams no rules, especially grammar rules. Yeah! Chalkful of dick tips and answers to questions like,

are you a rage? And what even is a libertarian? The dick show gets um... That is the description on iTunes. Two hours. Yeah, it's gonna be two hours and it's gonna go... Yeah! If it's not Harman Town, just keep it under an hour.

Christ. Oldie Harman Town could be over an hour. It really is. Actually, that's a good rule. Joe Rogan has some fucking balls. They put in, make me listen to three hours or something. I had to give up.

That's too much. Joe Rogan recently had a podgeist. I was interested in it. It had the, the Googler who was fired for that memo he put out internally about the sexual discrimination. Yeah, I'm not familiar. Okay, so this was a big story in the tech world because this guy put out this memo with,

you know, some scientific research behind it that said, we don't have as many women engineers because that's not their strong point and they, you know, they get into other professions. What are you? Sacsist. Right. Okay. So in Google, they're trying to get into other professions. What a sexist. You're right. Okay. So in Google, they're trying to get to this 50, 50 split. They want everyone to be a certain color brown

and to be both male and female. So he was fired when this memo, which has been around in the company for a month, it was leaked out and then people read it outside of Google and then they had to fire the guy. So Joe Rogan had this guy on the show and I was interested to listen to him because it's kind of fucked up. Sure.

You didn't get fired from Google for this. Joe Rogan talked to this guy for like two and a half hours. My God. We could have cleared all of this up in 25 minutes. Just tie a ball on it, Joe. It's you don't have to do a three hour fucking pot. Exactly. Every time. Leave him wanting more. Leave him wanting more. I know I've never gotten to the end of a Joe Rogan podcast I'm like I wonder what's the next one's gonna sound like like alright. I'm good on show for a little bit Maddo is let him beg to for it to be over again for the With that Andy I want you. Thank you again for co-hosting show dying to my job as usual

I expect nothing less Please join us again next week because it might be the episode we find out once and for all Who are these podcasts? Sleep well every pony You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it.

You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can do it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA