Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep77 - The Dick Show

Episode Date: October 8, 2017

This week WATP reviews the Dick Show. Vinnie Paulino joins us to bring a healthy dose of Goss. Not really, he has no idea what that means and neither do we. It's another week where we learn new things like the formula for comedic ranting. And also, that Maddox sucks. If you're confused it's because you're a fan of WATP, and we appreciate that. If you're not confused then chances are you'll be giving us a one star review on iTunes. Fuck you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's show time. Really just a handful that don't suck And that's where we come in My cashew views like a global humanitarian Vinnie Paulino W-A-T-P W-A-T-P W-A-T-P Who are these partners? WHOHP Who are these partners? WHOHP Who likes these partners?

Not WHOHP Who likes these partners? That one's beyond me Who are these partners? WHOHP Who are these podcasts? W-A-T-P! W at ATP. Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. We listen to podcasts that you don't have to. I'm your host, Carl, with me today. Back once again, Vinny Paulino from Comedy at the Carlson Cast. Please don't forget to vote them.

Best Local Podcasts in City newspaper here in Rochester. Vinny, thank you so much for joining us. You make me feel like such a whore out of the gate. Oh my gosh, it's the least I could do for you making the truck over to my house and drinking. To the good part of town. And drinking my sprite.

I'd like to remind our listeners, you can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at whoarethesepod. If you like what you hear, don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes. Once again, we could use it. We had a shit storm come through this past week.

Apparently, a five-day episodes heard our show and decided to get out and shit out of us which guys be crazy is I never get to be on the shows that make them mad I always get to know about the aftermath so maybe I should be really mean to these guys oh I have a feeling you will be I got some thoughts speaking of which today we'll be reviewing a podcast called the dick show this is a listener's suggestion from Matt Vinnie and I both listen to the show separately we have not discussed with other be to the other, so let's get into it. We listened to episode number 69 called Dick on Dick, and this is a show hosted by Dick Masterson. Ah, clever. You know, they

get this real name? No, I'm pretty sure it is. But maybe, maybe, I don't know. So, because I thought like just being called the dick show was kind of a clever name for a show just in general, but if it's actually his name, the guy said, you think like, oh, this guy's gonna be a dick. Right. He's like, no, I am dick. Right.

So it's not quite as original. No. It's just his name, have it as a dick, which is the lowest form of comedy, Richard. Well, I would say though, if it was called the asshole show would have been on my radar by now. Notice it's not called the funny dick show. It's not called the funny dick show so let's talk about it.

What did you think about this show overall? Bubba the dud sponge over this guy. I mean it's so just guilty of so many things I hate about podcasts. It's guilty of so many things I hate about podcasts. It's guilty of so many things. I think the number one sin is that he's putting out this thing is my group of friends are the best group of friends and you should listen to what we have to say because we're the funniest.

Why don't I play a clip that I have on here? I think this sums up the show the best so that our listeners have an understanding of what we're talking about. I think the name does a pretty good job. Well, this guy is a ranta. So here's the clip that sums it up for me. I can't talk to those guys because they're, and then I'm sitting like, wait a minute, this is 20 fucking, my best friends are like five, I don't even know how old they are.

I don't know when they're, I don't know when they're birthday is. They can be fucking 40, I don't know it. Yeah. I don't know when they're birthday is. They can be fucking 40, I don't know it. Yeah. And I hold anybody as well, and I look at this asshole, and I go, oh, that's the cool kids over there. What the fucking cool kids? Yeah. They look, and they don't even look this,

they just look, they look fattish, everybody looks fattish shit, by the way. So that's kind of what this show is, at least the first hour of it. And it's three hours. It's two hours, two hours and eight minutes. It's a long back. Oh my God, is that all it was?

It is a lot. Did you get through the whole thing, many? Hell no. Yeah, I had a feeling. Sorry, Dick. So the show is long. In fact, they even say this at the end. All right, this is a Dick show.

Long. I don't think he was talking about his dick. I think he was talking about his dick. I think he was talking about the dick show. This is funny because at the one hour and 53 minute mark, this happens. Everybody thanks for listening. Go to the website. But do you have anything that makes you rage? Mr. Francis Pants? Well, man, he was almost about to pull the plug on it. And then it goes on for another 16 minutes. Like damn it, we had it, we were there. I can see the end of it.

See, I would, if I had heard that, and then I would have looked at my phone and saw that there was like another 16 minutes left, I would have started screaming. Exactly. I would start coughing up blood in my car, I would be so angry. Do you think you're finally done with it it but no, there's more to come. So what makes you upset fancy? Mr. Fancy I give a shit with fancy pants. Six of them. We'll make some upset.

All right. So Dick master sends the host. He has co-host Sean's on there. I think he's the audio engineer. Mr. Fancy pants I believe is a co-host. And then there's Lacey Nicole who comes down as the newswoman. Did you get to that part? Yes.

Okay. So, we'll talk about her in a little bit, but before we get into that, I do want to mention that I kind of liked the show. I actually thought it was entertaining. There were a couple of things where I went, okay, I'm with you, but then they droned on about those things. Right. So, let me give you the roundup.

This is what the show was. So two hours, eight minutes starts off talking about his 20th high school reunion. And the whole big problem he had with that was people say, what have you been up to? It's 20 years later. How do you answer that question? I kind of agree with that. It's a ridiculous question to ask. But that was...

He's just going, both don't you listen to my podcast? That was 15 minutes of his show. And then he gets into the new Lego movie, Ninjago, and explains how that sucks because it's anti-dad propaganda or something. I don't know. I couldn't make sense of it.

And then Dick has daddy issues, does he? Then they talk about, which would everyone's talking about, kneeling during the National Anthem for NFL games and how the DOD and National Guard actually pay the NFL money to have these patriotic displays happen. I believe I heard around $2.63 million. It's a lot of money that they give them. It's really just an advertisement for the military. If you don't realize that.

Yes. And I didn't know, I actually looked it up after they said it, that the players weren't even on the field during the National Eye at them until 2009. Yes. They said it tried in these guys out there to sit through this. So it's really just a whole thing that's made out. It's a problem.

Did you notice that nobody ever got mad at Tim Tebow for kneeling? Why I think he was kneeling for a different reason. Yeah, I weighed Dumbaries and then Colin Kaepernick. That's true. That's a way Dumbarie's He then talks about his family and his nephew drawing dick pictures And his mom trying to give him posters so that was a little while Then they talk about his did we just gloss over kids drawing dick pictures? Well, we could get into it. I mean, he was very excited about it. I think they only- That was the only part.

Well, yeah, he did. He was like, hey, kid, how much you want for that? I wish you have that dick pic. It's not creepy. I don't know, there, Uncle Dick. It seems a little creepy. Oh, well, what I thought, he actually made a funny point about that, and this is the only thing he said that made me go,

all right, I'm with you is he goes, my nephew draws his dick picture at a table. We're all having, we're all having dinner. I think it's hysterical. I'd probably be laughing too if I looked over and saw my nephew dry pee. It's a five year old kid. Right.

And then a guy with a raging cock. Right. And awesome. But like, he goes, I gave the kid money because I didn't want him to be ashamed of his art. Right, that's right. All right. You want to do encouraged him to draw more dicks in the future.

Do what you feel, kid. Do what you feel. And Uncle Dick could be waited. After that, they talk about Maddox for a little while. And do you know who Maddox is? No. Maddox was his former co-host on a podcast. He had the best page in the universe.

He was a blogger before blogging was a thing back in the late 90s, early 2000s. And this guy did a show with them? And they used to do a podcast together. I think it was called the best debate in the universe. And then they had a falling out. And now the DICK show is its own show. And Maddox has his

own show and they're feuding and there's this ongoing thing that's just a work. I think it's really a shoot. Apparently, apparently this guy dick sucked with Maddox's ex-girlfriend after a wedding they both went to and it turned into a whole cluster of problems. There's subreddits devoted to this, believe it or not. It's a whole big thing. I know I spent the morning doing a lot of research at the DICShell and the whole history of it. It was more than I realized I was getting myself into and I got this guy has a universe. He does. They have a universe and I got to tell you that I was actually a Maddox fan

back in the day before the internet was taken over by the multinational corporations like it is there used to be like Tucker Maxx and Maddox and some I remember Tucker Maxx. For Chan like these sites were the biggest things on the internet. I worked at ebombs world that was a big deal so I was part of this whole universe and that was a lot of fun. So hearing that this was actually tied to Maddox and those guys had a falling out was interesting to me. Right. Now to most people, it would be a giant bore fast. I won't go to the end.

Like me, the average. I won't go into it too much more in detail than I am. E-bombs, what? I'm just kidding. Then there's a news section where they have the obligatory. We're going to read the news and talk about it. And that's where Lacey Nicole comes in and just slows things to a halt. They have all this energy and they're raging and they're

ranting and then it's like all right so in the news. Right right right right rage rage girl. Yeah this girl comes in and I guys this got cop shot this deaf guy like oh mate okay. Is it the one I hope that they shot? Which only one deaf guy that I hate Then the then they all hit on lacy for a while and ask what types of guys she's into and fantasize about how she would pick up guys Then mr. fancy pants talks about a book did he wrote apparently he wrote a novel? Great exactly. I didn't care about it before I do that. I certainly don't want to. If I didn't read Maddox's blog, I'm not really fancy pants is novella. Then they end the show they even have a ending theme song and everything and you're like, all right, it's over. Nope. Then they start listening to voicemails and commenting on voicemails. What was the point of that. I think I got that far and I was like, it was very confused. It was very confusing.

All right, so that's what the show was. That was the story arc, if you will, of this podcast. So I wanted back up and go back to the initial segment where he's ranting about people. Somebody better find me the Reddit page on fancy pants as novel. I should have read that. I just want to read that.

This is one of the things that I liked about so he's ranting about people saying, you know, what do you've been up to? And here he is choking on his own saliva. And what I love about this so many times, when I want you to listen for here, is how his co-host doesn't even try to match his energy. He's doing the opposite of matching his energy

Listen to us or six years old exactly. I don't remember anything from before I had pubes I have maybe three memory from before I had hair on my balls. Yep. Yep. Yep. Right. Yep. You got that One of the things I noticed When this guy is ready. I did but to be fair fair How do you respond to some guy yelling about his balls? Yeah, but I also don't have any memories of before I had hair on my ball. Let me tell you something brother Before I had hair on my balls. I didn't remember shit You know, you know what this ranting sounded like to me. It sounded like weird alianca Like when he gets into that comedic ranting thing that he does. This is a clip I put together.

See if you can figure out where one ends and the other begins. Lay it on me. You are happy, aren't you? You're happy, right? Because I sure want you to be happy! The most worthless conversation anyone's ever had is Mr. Fancy Bands with everybody. I mean, it's almost identical. Nailed it.

He's being nailed it. He's he's nailed it. It's not weird Alan Prussian I that's all I could hear them All right, so then he's but yet yeah, I'd much rather listen to the Al show. Oh my gosh LTV Actually, it's funny when I was a little kid that was the the best. You go back on YouTube and watch any of that shit. It is terrible. I'll tell you what, I don't remember. I didn't have pubes back then. Good boy.

Yeah. Good boy. We learned something today. One of the things that he does, and I like this, he offers a solution. So you go to a high school reunion, what do you bend up to? Is a terrible question.

So he says, you should ask something that's provocative. Maybe someone can actually answer. I thought this was kind of funny That's what it's there should be very specific Very specific I like that. I like very specific What's the worst blowjob you ever got? I didn't go to my 20 year high school reunion. I think it was like last year of the year before But if I had known that I could go there and ask all my ex-class mates of that, I probably would have. You know, I guess it's a novel idea, but I mean, this guy's, I can't stand him.

You're not having it. I'm just not having it. You're not having it. I'm not, it's not selling with me, man. All right, so the next part of the show, they start talking about, why do they even have the national anthem before every sporting event? And I kind of agree with that. How are Sternsman saying this for a while too? Because this is such a big controversy. This isn't a military event.

They're playing football. It gives a shit. So apparently our soldiers, our firemen, our EMTs, our farmers, our unemployed trailer park dwellers. So this is his matters explaining that there's no really no reason for them to our farmers, our unemployed trailer park dwellers. So this is his matters. Explaining that there's really no reason for them to even do that.

I don't know, this might be an unpopular thing to say, probably, but I could, I could do without the anthem at every single fucking sporting event. So that's him being calm and setting up the rant. It's almost Sam Kinnison style. If you remember Sam, he would start off like this, like, hey, you know, what's going on with these guys? They're living in the sand. You know, it's the desert. I thought he would just build up to this thing where he's... AHHHH! AHHHH!

So here is, that was the setup. Now, here is the rage setting in I'ma... What the fuck are we thinking about while the fucking anthem and people aren't Sad home standing up in front of their television doing it. Are they? So this show follows this formula that it's like bell curve after bell curve. It's like okay We're calm. We're talking about that. I'm really pissed. I'm about to get up and it's actually Are you not the next subject I'm talkin' about it, it's not gonna get up. It's actually- Are you trying to tell me that's not a good formula? It's actually a great formula?

It's a tried and true formula. It is a tried and true formula. In fact, the other guy who does that is a Z's, I'm sorry. Okay. You ever hear his stand up? Never, once. Never heard a word of it. Really? I swear to you. So, a Z's, I went and went some and I actually had no fun because

this was brought to my attention and then that's all I could pay attention to is that a Z's will kind of like mumble and set it up and then he's like, God, Z's all excited! And this is all where I'm excited, it's a punchline! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's really tough because a lot of people get into like writing styles and I'm sure that's what's going on with this guy is like when he's putting together a show, he's like, because a lot of people get into like writing styles and I'm sure that's what's going on with this guy It's like when he's putting together a show. He's like, okay, I got it. I got to get my setup ready Yeah, and then I got I get it up on time. It's me screaming Exactly right. You know what by the way, I just want to say that that

Is impression I just say was the worst thing anyone's ever heard. Yeah, I want to apologize But you put you drew that little dot on your head before you did it I didn't meal that part of it. Yeah, you got that. I want to apologize to both listeners for that. Here's another thing that I thought was was kind of funny. They're talking about North Korea and the threat happening there. Yeah. Their missiles can't shoot all the way over here. Kim Jong-un's missiles. Were they saying about Hawaii? Hawaii was sort of the... You think? Oh, oh no! Oh no! That actually made me laugh.

I thought that was kind of funny. Because seriously, Hawaii, what are we talking about here? Right. Couple hotels, dog to bounty hunter. Bye! Exactly! So, here's what I did, Mini. I put together a rant compilation. Exactly. So, here's what I did, Vinny.

I put together a rant compilation because I could have taken clips from every time the guy gets loud and starts yelling about something. Right. It's not that. Where is that? He gets it. Sure. So here I've condensed this entire show and all the good parts into about 40 seconds.

So if you were thinking about listening to the dick show, listen to this instead. What do you mean what have I been up to? Unequally worthless conversation. No, I fly dry, I fly fucking drones. What the fucking cool kids? I've never been, I'm too stimulated, I've got to leave. God damn it. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I mean what the fuck is the point of it? Why? Of Jack's shit. For what the fuck was the point? Magrone man! There's no line between anything!

That's just, shit, you tell kids! Changing my Facebook profile picture isn't enough. Yeah. I just clogged up all the drains and I flooded my house. Stop fucking with me! Stop fucking it! There's the most he's cared about anything. Stop it!

Oh, really? Are you guys talking about wisdom teeth over here? What the fuck is this? This is the most he's cared about anything. Stop it! Oh really? Are you guys talking about wisdom teeth over here? BOP! Alright that's enough. I'll say. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Yeah, seriously. I mean, God dude.

When you actually just listen to this part of the game. Somebody get this guy a joint. It's very obvious that this is just an act that he does and this is the character that he's playing but Honestly though I did kind of enjoy it. I thought it was fun much better than most podcasts that we review here I'm I will say this is definitely better than the last three you've made me listen to okay Well, there you go. There you go. I couldn't listen. I couldn't get through it I couldn't listen I couldn't get through it Through it and it's you know like you said there's a formula here and it's a formula that went executed properly Could be very interesting. This is a better than average attempted said formula

Yeah, I would say that I mean the guy obviously has chops and I give him credit on even the co-host I'm banging Maddox's girl at that wedding. Yeah, right. Yeah. There you go. Way to go, dick. So for two hours, it seems like it would be a lot to rant like this. And apparently it is.

Here's evidence of him just losing steam once the hot chick shows up. It starts doing the news. Take a picture. Great. And then you got everybody asking you, oh, what was it like? Yeah, what was it like? Unpuncher. It was underwhelming.

Yeah, it was stupid. The whole thing was stupid. Yeah, it doesn't, yeah. Who cares? Yeah. All right, moving on. Yeah. A little bit more serious news.

All ref, up. we know place to go. Listen to that compared to what we were just playing earlier, it's two different shows. Yeah. The second half of the show is a different podcast. And here's what I think the issue is. This chick shows up. Her name is Lacey Nicole.

Did you do any research on her? Nope. All right. This is what Lacey Nicole looks like. She is a Playboy Playmate. Yes. Pretty pants back out. Come on man. Listen, Deck. This is my home. Deck, you and I are cool buddy. Good job, Deck. Yeah, so that is why the show screeches to a halt because these guys are all just, they don't know how to talk in front of a hot chick obviously.

And she's also not like super interesting interesting No, most hot chicks aren't well, and that's dad's a stereotype car It is a stereotype I would like to have in-depth conversation with any Hot chicks out there that want to prove that Carl's wrong So he has a patreon page Do you know which money he's making off of his Patreon page? Enough to make me want to kill myself. Yes, you're exactly right. He's at $19,000 per month from his Patreon right now. One more, come again?

Yeah, this show has a lot of listeners. There's a lot of people in the Dick Universe. To this? Yeah, this show. This show specifically, the Dick Show. What the- The screaming guy. The guy who's like ranting and then gets all

All shy and sheep us when the hot chick shows up. Yeah, and they that show and the guy the guy the novel writer The novel so in In this show's defense. I did go back and listen to the first episode. I went back and listen to a little bit of another one the cast of characters is constantly rotating Mm-hmm. I don't think it's always him with Mr. Fancy pants. And well I mean they have a dynamic. That's a shave. Yeah, it goes. Yep. Well, this guy's yellow. I can scream. That's their dynamic. I'm telling you. It's magic. They also have some listener participation. They played some songs that people sent in. I have an example. Hell, you pay me $19,000. I'll let you fart into a microphone. You do whatever you want.

Exactly. Send me your songs. Go ahead. Hit the Patreon page, whatever. I mean, it's it's a living man. That's not too bad. I got to admit. So it's over $100,000 a year. It's good money. I'm sure he's paying for a podcast. For a podcast. He's paying people because he does have an audio engineer and some other people help me and produce the show and keep the website up to date, all those kinds of things. So it's not like he's pocketing it all,

but yeah, it's pretty good, man. They're doing all right. They've got your name. All right, Dick. I'm sorry, I told you that. I should have waited till the end. You know how he like, he like faded out. I'm about to pass out.

I know, I can tell you too much. I'm leaning on the bar. I'm just. It was like a punch to the stomach. So these guys have people that send in parody songs for them. And they play this one that's a parody of living out of prayer. Did you hear that part? I think it was in the background. Yeah, I was very proud. Which most of the show is to me. It's fair enough. So the thing that they do that the person who sends in the parody does,

you never do this when you make a parody song. He kept the entire intro intact. If you think about living out of prayer, it starts with like that organ thing and the organ swells in and then you got that stupid mouth guitar I think why not? Why not? So entire fucking intro. You're a musician. Yes. Okay. You've written your fair share of parody songs. Yes. You don't do the whole intro for a parody song. I'm not actually excited to hear the Bond Jovey too. I just wanted to hear the Joes. So there's over 30 seconds of just this intro. I said I'm a parody and there's a lot of my musicianship in it.

Well no, I think he's just doing it to like a karaoke track off of YouTube. Oh is that what's going on here? So let me play a little bit of this parody song for you because I can't make head your tails of what's going on. They're all talking over it and yelling and laughing. It's impossible to follow what's going on here. I don't. Whoa Fuck is going on He started sounding like John Bon Jovi and then he sounded like Alice Cooper It's so ridiculous so juvenile and that's coming from me. I mean, I think I may I think I may have written that in seventh grade I think so too and you immediately threw it out what I could do better. Yeah, I bet it is It's like they know it's like they don't listen to anything that people submit

Until they're live on the show doing it. Here's an example of that, the voicemail part at the end. They play this voicemail, they must not listen to it because it's cutting in and out. And that's uncompounded. Uh oh. The already, uh, let's just face it, they've been exactly the anxiety of, of down because you don't fucking know. that they being xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx That's really dumb. They didn't have to play the hot their show Just like they didn't have to play the 30-second intro of this parody song that some guy said and it's almost like They have to make the show over two hours. You don't guys. It's okay. You can pair it down. I tell

I'm list all the time Podcasting is not traditional radio. It doesn't need to be a full air shift You don't have to have 16 segments in every episode, save something for the next episode. Leave people wanting more. Uh-huh. Is actually a problem. You cannot edit a podcast. You can edit it down.

I mean, I do a live show, but I could always edit it later and do whatever. Like you put the live one out there, you can make it better, you know, for your listeners and downloads or whatever but speaking of editing Vinnie yeah, bun. I was inspired by these song parodies that people were sending in did you did you edit something? I did you know I used to do this a lot I would take the audio from the podcast and make a song out of it

I haven't done it in a while but this morning I was inspired Oh, and I'm gonna tell you to put both cans on. You have a twinkle in your eyes. I do. I'm excited. I put both cans on because this is just for you, Dick. Why? Bop. Why? Bop. Fuck, fuck, fuck is keeping him alive? I'm not hot.

That's what gets the dick fight. My mom's always got a fresh load. FLY! JAPAN GRIM! FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY!

FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY! FLY! There you go. There's the latest song created. You're an artist. Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, a minute ago. This isn't good enough for our show. Odds are, you can probably submit this episode. These jackasses would play it.

What the fang? Today's episode is gonna be six hours long. We're gonna play someone else's podcast. Yeah, they left it as a- Time for our podcast. Yeah, what you should do is send it as a voice mail. It just clip out. Every couple of seconds and see how long the show

will get out there. I did grab a couple of ISOs that I enjoyed from this show. This one I thought was extremely appropriate. I wish I knew what we were talking about. Oh, that's okay, Lacey. You did your best. You did your best, Lacey. This is a clip that I call,

how to do a comedy podcast, and many, you do a comedy podcast, listen closely. Oh man, I don't wanna be a downer, but a Consuelo is cancer. No shit. Yeah. Oh That is it that is it I wish I hadn't said that right now. That's fine as a huge downer. Yeah I'm out this week shit. That's a bummer. Yeah Prognosis, I don't know I don't know

That's rough I don't know Yeah, that was a little bit of a During the show where they wouldn't do that I think you really one sorry that he brought it up by the way You It should be. He said he said it just came to a screeching halting. Oh, really? Again, we discussed the magic of editing. You don't have to leave that in there. Easily could have taken out and not bummed everybody out.

No, man, we're real. We're real on the dick show. Yeah. What am I, an alien? A little bit. That's another ice-up I enjoyed a lot. This is something else that I took away from the show and learned something. I think I agree with this assessment.

Yeah, what interest do we have over there? What China has all of it? China has all the interest in North Korea. They keep it afloat. Yeah, they keep it afloat to be funny. China keeps North Korea afloat for the goof. It's for the goof! Oh, I got to believe that.

You got us. It would make sense to me. Oh You fucking Chinese oh my god Seriously, can you just have an appeal any the currency though? I get the So where is don't get me arrived? But you have to keep trying to bankrupt this come on come on man Come on, what's Come on, Chad. What pay thing for our children's toys? I mean, come on.

Can we just pull it back a little bit? Listen. Small travels, guys. I know you like it. All right. That's all the clips that I wanted to play from the show. I didn't get as many clips as usual, because, as I said, it's mostly a decent production.

It's a pretty good show. Like, it's- I might listen to it again someday. Well, it's mostly a decent production, it's a pretty good show. Like, I might listen to it again someday. Well, it's not, again, Dick, I'm hard on you, but just because I'm in a bad mood. You don't have the worst show I've ever heard. Congratulations. Wow, that is the biggest compliment

you've ever given to someone on WATP. Congratulations to Dick Masterson. It's like, I mean, you send me here for some of these fucking stinkers. Yeah, they get rough and let me tell you man, next week. I want to know who got mad at you. Who got mad at you with what show got upset with you? Recently.

Well, you know, it's interesting. Last week, we did a show that was sent to us by the host, the co-host of the show. And he's like, hey, do this show. Yeah, he's like, hey, would you want mine checking out my show? Uh-huh. So I had Andy over, we listened to it, we shan all over it. That was Life Bites with Brian Ross and Derrick Ross.

Did he spell Bites with Y? They did. Oh, you fucking... I hate you you wherever you are Well, I didn't even have to see that just a gas Well, here's the thing though. This is where I give them a lot of credit because we did shit on them and call them assholes And idiots quite a bit, but they both wrote to me Or both wrote to the show I should say and were complimentary and had or grace. That's a humor about it.

What are they Canadian, which I it may be. I mean, I really appreciate that. It's that's impressive. So like they said, hey, thanks for reviewing our show. It was it was literally like thanks to reviewing our show. Here's another one that we love to hear your take on and then sent another suggestion. And does they think they're gonna like gonna get listeners

I sucking up to you maybe they would be wrong boy. They really are bad at things I mean, I had another person right in just yesterday With show suggestion that he is the host of so I appreciate that I love it when people They come in and they say I know you're gonna shit on me, but check out this show. That means you have a good set of humor. When other shows rip on our show, I fucking love it. You do, you get it? Because the whole thing is a rose.

That's the whole point. You dish it out, you take it in. It's a lot of fun. That's the whole point behind this thing. And let me tell you who doesn't understand that at all These fine people on our iTunes page That we got from iTunes Mrs. From

October 1st 2017 They had green skin is the subject line. I'm not sure what that means. Um... Be neither? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's a reference to one of the shows. If they spent as much time criticizing others as much as they do on their sound quality, it would be an improvement. No shit! That's just like, well, yeah, I could spend way more time on the sound quality, but that would have all these goofs!

Not funny or insightful there is a difference between shooting the shit and insightful conversation these guys have no idea what the difference is not good oh he might be right and insightful conversation since when am I trying to be insightful we are the thing I've never had insightful conversation with anyone in my fucking life There there's nowhere where we use the word insightful in the description of the show in the theme song I've never said that word So if you thought you're gonna get something insightful you should have seen him. You almost started trying to say it All right, so this one came from Lord Hobbes on October 4th and- Oh, you're a majesty. Lord Hobbes says, like, listening to 45 minutes worth of YouTube comments, which means you got

through 45 minutes worth, that's cool. A couple of tamilist dipshits trash-talking other people's work. There are a lot of bad podcasts out there, but this is a bad podcast that shits on other better podcasts. Oh, no. This is only to justify giving a one-star review All right, here's another one. I wish I could give it zero stars one is too many and that is it's Jamie Smith Thanks Jamie Smith

They say those who can't teach in this case those who can't just crap all over those who can oh teach in this case those who can't just crap over those who can oh you got us this is just a cheap sad podcast done by people whose jealousy and lack of talent guides their pathetic little lives she's got my whole life figured out of this one I know we're just sitting here in Highland Park yeah it's panic terrible it's not good what I love about this is it's so obvious that these are the hosts and shows that we've shit on. Because all of these are so centric to the, well, this is other people's work.

You know, other people are dick, put a lot of time to show, and you guys are just shitting on it. It's my art! I hate the whole exactly. My art! You can't critique art, man. My mom was this in the show and she told told me was great. No, she didn't listen

Your mother didn't know what you were talking about. She says oh, it sounds like radio. All right. Here's a job Here's another one star review again people. This is the one I left we read Possibly we read the is is your username Vinny hates Carl with an eight Yes, this is the one that you left that we read the ones that that shit on us but I don't encourage it it doesn't help our show get found true we need as many people giving positive five star reviews as possible so to the WATP army out there I want to activate I'm gonna leave one it's just gonna be five stars. It's that's complete garbage

Dude, I would love that that would be that was if you do hate the show you want to show us Please do it just give us five stars Say whatever you want to review exactly say whatever you want So this says things the internet never needed one star this is from October 5th and the comment is If this had one moment of honest critique maybe maybe it would be worth it but let's be fair these reviews are where the critiques can be made why not just fill out the forms and iTunes guys they'll be just as important that way this is so much more fun we have here when we do

this exactly a shame this show ever took space in between anyone's ears. What alone just mine. Whoa! Wow, so, alright! You're telling me I wasted gas to drive here. Yeah, that's true. By the way, just fill out an expensive part. I'll make sure to reimburse you for that.

Thank you. And also for your time listening to the DIC show. Good. I'll make sure to reimburse you for that. Which time is very valuable. I hope you're getting something done. Why are you listening to it? Yes.

I've figured about $19,000. So yeah, a lot of shit getting slung our way, which is always fun, keeps things interesting here. Another thing that I wanted to bring up is I talked about it on a few episodes ago. There's a conspiracy against the name Carl. The name Carl is a joke name, where it's the punchline to jokes.

And then our listener in the UK, Marcus found a YouTuber with 300,000 subscribers, who actually explained this in great detail. How Carl is a joke name and it's always a punchline. I've heard many times that the K sound is considered funny to a lot of people. That must be it. The hard cut. The hard cut is funny. I have a friend who thinks that Kodak would have been a great swear word.

It's started off with Kodak. It's pretty good. It's got that hard K. You know, the hard K you can do well with. The, you know, you work for 30 years and RGN turns your light off and you're like, Kodak! Exactly. See, it works. You lose your car.

Kodak! So our, my pet, our friend, Krozier, who's co-host of the show a few times. With a K. Well, with a C, but he sent me a clip from Seth Meyers that further proves that there is a conspiracy against the name Carl. Scientists have identified an early human ancestor

that is responsible for the initial spread of herpes to human beings, and as suspected, it was Carl. I can write jokes all day if that's a punchline. That's a punchline? That's my new formula. It's my new formula. Because you're going to do your start-up soft and be like, you know what, I heard that there's these herpes.

Did you hear that they uncovered a Neanderthal that gave everyone herpes? It was Carl! So that's the formula. Do you know I can't wait to see it? It's powerful to stand up again. I need to. That is going to go over huge. Two shows that I ate with Jimmy Schubert.

Thank you. Alright. Comedy at the Carlson scene. Comedy at the Carlson. And since we're here. Oh yeah. And in December, I'm going to be featuring with Jim Florentine. Oh, I love Jim Florentine.

Yeah. One of my favorites, in fact, the Jim Floreranting podcast is one that we should review it. You really should because he is very formulaic too and he will never hear this and if he did he wouldn't care. That's true. That's a good point. I do want to point out since we're talking about it, that you have a show comedy at the Carlson cast. I do. Where you interview really great comedians, you had Colin Quinn on, Kevin Pollock, you've had one of my favorites Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, he's the was my favorite. Yes, he's hilarious Nikki Glazer, so that is definitely a show worth checking out. I'm not gonna listen to the brother weez episode I don't get

But Jimmy Schumer's always funny. Oh Schumer lost his mind. Did he that was like yesterday morning I gave him a cup of coffee and apparently we said so the Joe about radio They got him upset before he came oh, he was wound up tight We's will get a lot of people upset like what you make a living doing this Oh my god, I'll tell you why our chat was just about how we ended up getting the job Yeah, that's what I talked about is like just what happened? Well before that he was just a music promoter. And he was promoting bands and stuff. And they were just like, you know people, you know people in all these venues come to sales

and get us some into places we couldn't before. Your voice is grating. Why don't you get on the radio? I was supposed to do you talk to him. They had a work in overdice, just what he started. And yeah, you know what, he had more listeners back then. He poor guy. But he didn't laugh at that because it's true.

There's no exaggeration. I was drinking my sprite. Poor weas, nice old guy. Poor weas. Anyway, poor weasers, three years. Three year extension poor guy. Exactly. All right.

At this point, at this point, at this point in the show, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back after this message W-A-T-P is brought to you in part by third rate here. Are you setting the bar at good enough? Why not settle for mediocre third rate here? Ambi low hanging fruit need a joke fast go for the most obvious punchline with Low hanging fruit. Need a joke fast? Go for the most obvious punchline with low hanging fruit. And also buy verbal crutches. I mean, do you like need like some time to like think of what you want to say?

Try verbal crutches. Know what I'm saying? Guests of the VWATVs stay at their own damn house. Guests are sponsored in part by beer and carls fridge that he doesn't want to drink. Back to you, Carole. Alright, thank you for that message. And when we do play our advertisements, you know what that means, Vinnie. You know what time the show that we're at.

Not really. Well, I'll tell you. Oh, Jesus. That's right, Vinnie. It is everyone's favorite part of the show. Do you know about this part of the show? Yes, it's my favorite. It's everyone's favorite.

Right. I can't read all the emails that come in. There are enough hours in a day to get to the emails. People are just like, Carl, just get to the teaser. It's the best part of the show Oh my goodness people sit through this whole episode of Watt. Watt And they're probably fast forwarding through a lot of parts like oh Carl's pretending he knows about shit again. I'll fast forward a little bit right

But they just want to get to this part and you know why they want to get to this part because they want to know who's next It's endless possibilities. Oh, you know what I mean like this show we know because we've already done it. We just did it. It's mediocre. But next week's show could be the best podcast we've ever done. Not bloody likely. It's likely to be better. I think you might have peaked. I think this dick guy might have like might have been the best thing you've had out of here. All right, you know what? I think that I do have a drop for when people shit on my point. Lick, lick, lick, mubo! Oh! Yeah! So, what puts them effort to do production?

It's out of the South, boy. Exactly. These assholes just shit on other people! Gadget. He's clips from Cartoon shows. He's probably a herpy de-adrathal. Mmm. Be more funny.

All right, you're right. Um, you know what? I gotta tell you, though, Betty. When I do read these negative reviews on iTunes, it really is a You know what, I gotta tell you though, Betty. When I do read these negative reviews on iTunes, it really is a pick me up. I bet. You know, I get up in the morning, I'm preparing for my show, and I'm like, oh, I should probably check my page, see if there's any new reviews. And then I just get shit out and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, you're like, yes, I can't wait for Betty to come over.

It's a very successful comedian. Hey, wait, wait, what am I going to do? And I'm just going to shen out over the fucking place again. Wheeeee! What a terrible, terrible day. It's a great time, I gotta tell you. So anyway, who are we teasing? Well, this is a clip from the show

that we'll be reviewing next week. And I play this to get you excited about. It isn't Marin, is it? Next week's hard to get to me. All right, now this is the show that we'll be reviewing next week. So, you might realize it's now the best time of the year. It is officially Halloween season.

So we're going to open it with a prayer to Satan, and how we appreciate all that he's done for us. And if anyone takes a knee during this prayer to Satan, I'm just going to say you're really disrespecting the Dark Lord, and all the demons that have come before you. Michael, they're not disrespecting the Dark Lord. They are though. They're just tired that the Dark Lord isn't representing them. Michael, they don't feel like the Dark Lord is appropriately representing. Well, he's the Dark Lord. What do you expect him to go around and help out everybody? Like, he keeps just blaming him for everything. That would be nice. That would be nice. That would be nice. That would be nice. Maybe that's why the Dark

Lord's coming after you. Huh? Wow. Satan has some priorities. That's what I'm saying. Wow. All right. That's a gimmick, isn't it? It's called the TX files. We're going to listen to episode number 34, Haunted Objects from October 5th, 2017. This show came in as a suggestion from a listener, Holden Davis. Thank you so much for sending in that suggestion. We're always looking for suggestions, so please write us. Let us know what you'd like us to review. TX files, let me read you the description. It's a short one. Podcasts about the horrifying history of true crime and paranormal in Texas hosted by two dudes named Michael. Now, when I read that it was true crime and paranormal. It was a cowboy ghost.

She might be like the paranormal or paranormal activity. Is that right? True crime and paranormal. And paranormal in Texas. That's not right, right? No, that's not a sentence. That's a sentence.

Two guys named Michael for you. So when I read that, I thought, okay, it's another one of these true crime shows where somebody reads a Wikipediaiki pdf page for 34 minutes, but no it's listed as comedy. Oh no. It is under the comedy category and as you can tell from that whole Praying to Satan bit that they start the show off with this is gonna be a hoot nanny I say You got to give him a chance Carl

Give him a chance just give him a chance. I say, you gotta give him a chance car. Give him a chance. Just give him a chance. What do I say? Boo! No, I'm sure it'll be amazing. Why would hold and tell us to do it if it isn't a great podcast? You're on the hook for this shit holding.

Yeah, I gotta tell you, there's nobody. Better you and I end up holding their dick in your hands. Nobody asks people to waste their time more than I do I literally ask people to send me things that I waste my time with Yeah, not just listening to a two hour and eight minute long podcast, which is bad enough I actually fucking mean a goddamn shitty song with clips from it Because you care because you care with clips from it. Because you care.

Because you care. Because I have nothing else going on in my life. Because you care about your art, Carl. That's right, Carl. You care about your art. That's where you iTunes reviewers, this is my art. We have a lot of bunch of trolls. Anyway, Vinny, I really appreciate you coming in.

Oh, I love you, buddy. I love you. Thank you so much for doing the show again. Anytime. What's your website? I know you buddy. I love you. Thank you so much for doing the show again anytime. What's what's your website? No, it's common. It's just Carlson cast dot com. Okay. New episode we go live every Friday. We do a live interview You could submit your questions to very famous comedians Got Tom Green coming in in like a week sweet. Oh, we got Preacher Lawson from America's got town Alice

Wetterland from Silicon Valley and Mike and Dave need wedding dates next week as our guest. Wow, I'm impressed. You don't have notes in front of you. Just actually remember all these. I learned a thing from Rick Flair. He used to say, just call him in the ring, baby. I just comes to me. I just I'm here. I've been the heat. I got it There it is. That's great bad. Well your show is fantastic Oh Can't wait to I can't wait to hear the episode you do. Oh, I can't wait to either. It's gonna be a lot of fun

People having on as a guest. I think what you should do. This joke didn't win, Vinnie. Let's take a listen to it. Oh No, I would never do that. I would you not you're not around. Oh, I know don't invite me They just say send me the link. I'm mostly just I'm still won't even listen to it But you're with other friends. I promise you to I'll do that But no, I appreciate that your show is awesome. You have the YouTube video every time that people can check out and What's cool is that you actually do the show from the comedy club. Yeah. That these people are performing at. And it's one of the best comedy clubs around. It's brand new.

Yeah. It's out of the show for my house. So I love it. Yes. I'm a huge fan. You've been a few times. I've been a few times. And I've seen Mr. Palino warm the crowd up as they say.

Yeah. Very poorly. You get people warmed up. I'm so tired of hosting. Can I ask you a question about that? Yeah. I'm wondering. So this whole thing where your job is to get people in the mode of laughing and kind of like focusing and realizing they're at a comedy show, stop having banter at your table,

pay attention to the stage. There's a show starting. It's like that's why they turn the lights down when the previews start. Right. Right. It's like it's like your job is to get up there and get people focused on what's going on. Right. Why do you have to do the crowd participation thing? Why do you have to ask about anniversaries and birthdays? It's always a disaster. It's not you have to always a disaster. Okay.

It's because you have a great routine. You can go up and do 10, 15 minutes of your comedy set and get people laughing and then you go, okay, we're going to bring up your 15 minutes of your comedy set and get people laughing and they go, okay, we're gonna bring up your Completely personal preference. No one tells me Vinnie asked for birthdays or whatever Okay, I thought that was like required. It's an old school thing It's kind of an old school thing some people think it's hacky But the reason I do it is for this because I have written very funny bits about birthdays I've written very suicide when I'm emceeing My job is to be a bowl of an L.I. Scream I have written very funny bits about birthdays and I've written very, so it's up, when I'm MCN, my job is to be a bowl of an L.O. ice cream.

And I know this sounds, you gotta be a jober, you gotta go out there and do what the job is. You gotta get people laugh. And so like my thing is this, I want people to feel like they're part of the show, but I want them to realize that they're having a personalized little bit of an experience if there is something going on, you recognize it and everybody gets happy and it puts people in a good mood.

So it really does. So the idea is this is unique. We're at a show together. Yes. This is a unique show for you. This audience is a few people. Yes. Correct.

I like it. Because I could just do whatever I want to do. Yes. But I'm in a way personalizing it to them. You see, it's exactly what you said. You're right. I like it But that's why I do it but other people don't like the host this weekend isn't doing any of that stuff He's just doing material. Yeah, good. How's that going over people still laughing? They clap for me when I get to the stage

So please join us again next week because it might be the episode we find out once and for all who are these podcasts? Sleep well every pony What the fuck? Beep! That's fascinating, please go on. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense. All these podcasts All these podcasts

YOOOOOOHOO! Bye!