Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep78 - The TX Files

Episode Date: October 15, 2017

This week we venture down to Texas to listen to two under-educated bros tell us about a haunted couch. Emily Prokop from The Story Behind podcast joins us to explain how you don't have to leave coughing and other disgusting mouth noises in your podcast. If you're one of the Michaels who hosts this audible garbage that you call a podcast, get out a pen and paper, and then stab yourself repeatedly with the pen. We also read some recent posts from the Dick Show's subreddit that provide constructive feedback such as suck sh*t and get f*cked. Enjoy. Check out Emily's show: http://thestorybehindpodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's show time. Just a handful that don't suck That's where we come in My cat reviews like I'll overcome the pandemic Emily W-A-T-P W-A-T-P Who are these partners W double your weight to pay?

Who likes these partners, not WHOAG? Who likes these partners, that won't be on me? Who are these partners, double your weight to pay? W-A-T-P. W-A-T-P. Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. We listen to podcasts so that you don't have to. I'm your host, Kara, with me today, friend of the show, host of the Story Behind Podcast, Emily Procop. Emily, thanks so much for joining us.

Thanks for having me. Oh, I'm so excited and I got to sing along. This is this is exciting. It is the longest intro in the history of podcasting. One of these days, I'm going to shorten that up a little bit. I'd like to remind our listeners you can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at who are these pod. If you like what you hear, don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes. We did have a good review come through recently, so we appreciate that. After the shit storm, we had a couple of weeks ago. We also, after last week's podcast of the Dick Show, we were picked up by their sub-readdit pretty quickly. And later in the show,

I'll be reading some of the comments of the fans of the DIC show, what they thought about WATPs take on that. Let's just say it's, uh, it wasn't the most favorable. Let's put it that way. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called The TX Files, a listener suggestion from Holden Davis. Emily and I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. So let's get into it. Emily, this was a podcast hosted by two gentlemen, both with the first name of Michael. Yeah, that's going to be confusing. We're going to have to go with Michael one and Michael

two when we talk about them. There's a really easy way to distinguish the two of them. One of them is so obnoxious. You can't help but notice. And actually, that's the guy. And you know what, I was gonna let you play the first clip, but I'm gonna play the first clip just so we can get this out of the way. This is the beginning of the show. And you can tell which guy is just to be annoying the rest of the show right

from the get go. Alright, we're looking to the TX files. My name is Michael. I'm here with my friend and co host, Michael. Hey, Derek. Hey, Derek. Hey, Derek. Hey, real is podcasting.

Hi, David. Hi, David. So we can call him Derek, I think. Yeah, that's true. We can call him Derek. And you know what, as soon as he started with that, I thought, you know, all podcasts listeners love inside jokes that they're not in on. Oh, yeah, that's always the best way to start the show

is make sure you're like, oh, yeah, I'm Derek. You know, like, oh, yeah, oh, of course. The other thing that they do that's Radio 101 is you don't talk over a music band that has vocals at it. You always have a music band with no vocals. This guy comes right out of the gate talking over singing. Yeah, it was really confusing actually.

The very beginning of it, I didn't pull it as a clip, but they had sort of a radio voice saying, well, you don't let people into your house. And then they kept playing it at the same volume as the music. So it was really hard to understand what was going on. You know, it's hard for me to shoot out in production, but the production value of this one is brutal. This show goes back away. So we haven't done a show this bad in a long time on WATP.

I don't know. The actual sound quality, one of them had a great mic. And the other one, I don't know what was going on with them. All right. Do you have a clip that you think sums up the show so we can get people into this? Yes, it's called don't take him seriously. All right. This is the glorys part about doing our own show. I say at the beginning of the show, I'm going to record myself saying, look, guys, we're going to lie a lot.

And don't take anything. I say seriously. Yeah, I pull the same clip. I think I might have a little bit more of it. But it definitely is the dumbest thing you can possibly do. The co-host, who I call the reasonable guy on the show, the other Michael. He's like, well, no, he can't just say everything. You're going to say is a lie. Why who would want to listen to that? It's that's ridiculous.

I mean, he gets it. And I feel like he's trying to rain Derek in. Right. but Derek's just wild off the wall. Yeah, there's there's no raining Derek in. He's crazy. And he's he starts off by explaining this, which I thought was was interesting. You know, so to kick it all off, we have one this week, they're going to be increasingly spooky episodes. Maybe not crazy. They're me spooky oriented. We're not gonna have any like fun ones like,

no more fun, if you're coming to the TX miles in the month of October, looking for fun. What's funny about that, as I think he's trying to be sarcastic. Yeah. But that's 100% accurate. There will be no fun. There's definitely no fun on this.

I think I had fun clipping it. There were a few clips that I ended up listening to so many times that did become fun. But yeah, you're right. And you know what else they say? They're a comedy. Did they put themselves under comedy? They are in the, yeah, I mentioned that last week that, okay, it's another one of those paranormal shows are going to talk about ghosts and spirits, whatever. But no, they put themselves under comedy. Self-proclaimed comedy podcast. I mean, good luck to them. That, you know, and after a while,

if you do listen to them often enough, you are laughing, but I don't think with them. No, there's no way you're laughing with them. Since you brought that up, I gotta go right to this part where this guy starts telling jokes that I mean, it's the worst thing you could possibly listen to as a podcast. You'd have to turn this off. I call this, he should be embarrassed. Now, the one co-host, the reasonable Michael, is listening to Coast to Coast Day. The overnight radio, the syndicated radio show and basically the first half of this show is just him talking about what he heard on a radio show

that's way better than their show. Which was odd. Like why don't you just tell us a listen to that. But this guy the the dummy Derek here he picks up on this coast to coast thing and he can't help us out. We're right. And here we go. So this all started. I was listening to coast. Actually, I was on the coast. Uh, you were on the coast.

Oh, the coast coast, you know, coast east coast coast, in cider, which I am. Hold up. Wouldn't it be awesome to go down to Poe, or just go down to the coast, listen to coast to coast while we're eating toast. So I think that gives everyone a pretty good idea of what we're talking about as far as the comedy standards on this show. Yeah.

Can you play the clips, Smithsonian, because I love that he explains what coast to coast, the literal meaning is, and they're confused. Okay. I think it's implied coast coast means east to west. So no disrespect to the third coast, but it's, you know, I think that's what the term refers to when it's used. Generally, I don't think the third coast is technically recognized by Smithsonian and shit like that. I am the snotest man alive! That's a good idea. There's a lot of explaining jokes and shitting on points. I have a clip on here

where this guy, I don't even know what the joke that he's going for is, but listen to the back and forth because this Derek guy throws things out that are totally unfunny. And, you know, the co-host obviously doesn't laugh, but you shouldn't take it seriously either. It's just awkward. So I'm just gonna read this article verbatim. Ver-fairly short, it's like two paragraphs of version. That's Latin, and it means with carrots. I like carrots sometimes, I'm gonna give you guys. He's trying to go with it, and I feel so bad for him because he's working with very little. He's working with carrots.

Very little. Yeah, he's like for banem is Latin for carrots and then the guy goes I like carrots. They're good for your eyes. What? Holy shit. Again, editing after the fact that's embarrassing. Take it out. Emily and I are going to say some things that are ridiculous. I'm going to take it out. I believe now we're going to say some things that are ridiculous. I'm going to take them out. I know and that is what you do with the with a guest so that they want to come back as you take the things they say. Well, yeah, that's true. You know what? That's a good point. This other Michael guy is probably so fed up with this asshole that all he's thinking is I'm leaving every dumb thing he says in this podcast. Oh, oh, yeah, for Badam's Latin for Carrots, good one. Let's call the episode that. Let's see what you download through yet. And there's always the coast to show where one host you can tell does all the

editing and and they're the ones who are they're the ones who I call them Carl. Yes. Yeah, they are podcasting with an editor's ear. So they know what to say, how to rephrase things so that it makes editing for themselves easier later on. Oh my God, you're peeling back the curtain right now. I know. That is so true. I've had people come over,

because ever since Kevin hasn't been on the show, I'm working out with different co-hosts. We don't really have the chemistry and things and There's a lot of talking over each other and I've had people come on and I have a joke written down or when I consider a joke And someone will just spit out that punchline before I can get to it and I I go okay But then I just say the joke anyway. Take out them. I'm shitting all over it and it's all good I want to get back to this coast to coast thing. So this is a little bit of a longer clip.

I call this all in, so it's going back to what I played before, but then it goes on beyond that. And you know, it's just, you would think that you would stop yourself. That's all I'm gonna say. Well, wouldn't it be awesome to go down to Puerto Rangis, go down to the coast, listen to coast to coast while we're eating toast.

No, I'll even do one better. You go to El Los Angeles, be on the beach. Outstate down here in Texas, go to Puerto Rangis. So we'll be on the coast. Where'd you go? Hold on, Michael. Oh my God. This guy thought that he thought if it explained it more,

that it would get funnier, you go to L Los Angeles. I don't know if he was trying to say L.A. And then it turned out to be Los Angeles. Or if he's speaking like Spanish, L Los Angeles, I don't know. You go to L Los Angeles. And I'll go to this place no one's heard of in Texas. And then we'll, so that happens happens and you think that you're okay We're moving on the guy just wants to talk about this radio show no doubling down

So I was gonna go to the coast you're gonna go to the coast. We were gonna listen to coast to coast while you both ate toast Yeah. And then, okay, cool. Be more funny. Holy shit. And again, the poor co-host who's going, yeah, yeah, that's got it. Right, right. Yeah. Can you say cool thing about Waco?

Because they get into this whole topic. It's about the same couch they're talking about. And they also say that, oh, Taurus, come and look at it. And Michael, you know, number one, Michael, he goes off in kind of this little tangent about Waco. Wait, which one's number one, Michael? Is that the reasonable, Michael? Yeah, reasonable. Okay, here we go. That's badass. And that's, that's something a lot of fun. I think that's a cool little trip. My good way because they have a neat is there and they have good green sauce

And I like neat is a lot. Oh my god You know, I say this a lot on the show. So it turns into a broken record, but When you're just having a conversation with your friend and it's boring, that's not a show That's that's not in fact. I think family guys said it best. Hey, you know what guys? This right here, this rambling, boring conversation containing already made before observations. This could be a podcast. Yeah, it doesn't need to happen. We don't need to hear about your inside, whatever specific places you like to go to. And actually, anyone here about this haunted couch either, to be honest with you,

I could give a fuck about that. There's no redeeming qualities to this podcast. There I said it. This is a terrible show. But they do, when they do finally talk about the couch, I love the story that Derek comes up with. Can you play hoved feats?

Oh, right. Yeah. This is great. The bar closes. The lights turn on. She looks down. The dude has Hoved Feats. I don't know. That was the clip that I kept playing when I was picking out my clips and just laughing the more I heard it just because it was so absurd. So you're saying the word feed is already poor all without the ass at the end? Is that what you're trying to tell me? I know, it's bizarre, but yeah. Let's continue to pick on Derek if you don't mind. I have a clip on here that's called Idiot Cannot Finish a Sentence. Well, we won't be lying. We'll read stories of people that

probably are lying. Wow, Michael. I don't, Michael, if I'm going to read a story, I'm going to believe 100% it's true. Okay. And I'm not going to let someone's inability or Okay. So we're going to serve us. Oh, that's so brutal. Again, editing, but I had a zoom in on that one. I'm way, I just want to listen to where he gets flustered

and the mouth noises he starts to mix. So let's be real quiet here. Inability or. That is that is full on panic mode. It's like when you're up on stage in front of your entire class and you're now you have to do the big music number and you just forgot the lyrics. Well, then you forget how words work.

Right, exactly. Yeah, actually, I'm glad you brought up the mouth noises. Can you play Cacophony? This is actually my own edited put together of their coughing and whatever gurgling noises they were making. I think it's the devil after their prayer to the devil they summon Tim. Go cough at the yard. Yes. We're going to move past that because that doesn't make a man shitty. Oh my god. She's holding on to it.

It'd be awesome to go down to Pooh ran just. Yeah. I mean, just kind of a normal couch. We're going to lie a lot. She's going to reach back. Michael, tell me how he's. He're gonna lie a lot. You should reach back. Oh my gosh, I'm the other. He's something. He's gross. Oh, it's so gross to listen to. Yeah, take the microphone out of your mouth, asshole.

Go ahead and set it back down on the table. Just repeat it. Just repeat it and get rid of the one with the gross tacking right there. So here's another thing that I was noticing is I'm listening to this Derek guy. I have a feeling that he's a child. The way that he talks and acts and the things that he says is very much what a teenager

would do. Like what a teenager would think they were funny by just acting out non-stop and constantly causing problems. I put together a little compilation here. One of the things that when you become an adult and you have a conversation with your friends, you don't just break into song and start singing songs because a word triggered you to sing a song. These assholes do it all the time. So this is the singing compilation. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D voices in my head, they choke to murder, understand they choke to murder. So did that happen. That tells me right there that we're

listening to to children, right? I mean, am I picking on 13 year olds and their podcasts because that actually start to feel a little bit bad about that. I don't think so because I didn't pull this clip, but the way actually, you know what? No, now that you say that, I'm thinking about this one clip that I didn't pull. Maybe you'll pull it. Maybe you pulled it. I think I did.

Derek is talking about the devil coming and all the different ways he could say that. And they finally just, they finally decided on nutted was the best word to go with. Oh, right. I didn't pull that part where he talks about the finished. Yeah, yeah. Which, which again, that does that part where he talks about he finished he yeah yeah. Which again that does not prove that he's an adult by any means. No. But this is the clip. So you've already heard this this kid who sounds like just an obnoxious child who forgot his riddle and listen to this this blew me away and this was late in the show. So then the other day

I'm sitting on the couch my wife goes out the garage What did he just say his wife? This fucking little 14 year old cunt is married. How is that possible? Yeah, can you play the clip come on because it definitely sounds like Derek is just 13 years old and he didn't get the video game he wanted for Christmas. I would do a horrible job as president. Maybe too nice. Maybe like look North Korea. Come on! Come on! Oh great joke. This is how I would be president. Come on! Just just let me have some nukes. It's fine.

Boring. Oh shit. This show. I so I wrote a note down over here. I'll tell you that some of the shows we've been reviewing recently, I've had a really dig in to find clips to play. This show I could have clipped any part at any point, and it would have been worth playing and talking about. Yeah, I had to whittle down my clips.

Right. I was, I started doing this last night and I was about 10 minutes in and I had about 15 clips of the show. And the show is 55, 56 minutes, something like that. So I realized right away, this can't go on. I have to actually a little bit be a little bit more choosy about what I am clipping. But I do like to clip when people just say things

that are dumb like this. This all kind of got kicked off because as you all might know, if you listen to our Twitter. If you listen to our Twitter, you might know this. Yeah. I didn't know that's our Twitter word. No, it's not an audio phase, but no. Can you play peanut butter too?

That's another one where they're definitely 13-year-olds. Right, okay, I think I know what this is. I told you about it, and I was like, dude, that book's kind of giving me the creeps, and you were like, shut up because guess what my mom said? Yeah, she said, she said, peanut butter rice, crispy cheeks are on the counter Yeah, that's a secret to green is to rest your streets. That's the peanut butter in there. Oh

I've been erupted happy time Bring us some new clips to the show. I love it. Yeah, I have that exact same clip. And the reason why I pulled it is exactly the same reason. He's talking about his mom as if they lived together. I know, it was almost cute in a way. Yeah, it was. It was. And then the kid, again, and you probably couldn't understand this

from that clip we just played, but if you listen to this whole show, you realize that this Derek fella is trying to turn everything into a joke. So he's like, yeah, and then, you know, I couldn't believe it. My mom said and he goes, yeah, she said there's right, right, crispy treats on the counter. And of course, because the other co-host has no idea how to respond to this. And how would you?

He's like, yeah, you know, the peanut butter ones are really good. If you had peanut butter, like, what the fuck? It was funny when you imitated him doing that and then I got the joke. Okay, so you were also not sure it was going on there? I was not at all. I had to listen to that a few times. I have a clip, and this is probably too late to play this,

but then setting up their episode, because this is a special October episode. And there's just something in here I wanted to point out. I think a better way to say it, Michael, is this episode is about spooky objects, haunted objects, tainted but holes. I don't remember any butthole stuff in the surprise. It's a surprise. It's a surprise. It's a way for the individual. I got something.

I got some brown surprises coming down the spike. Brown surprise. Oh, I guess you are. Hey, five to you. Poop jokes. Yeah. Well, because again, he can't finish it. So just trying to make a joke. So he's like, okay, today's show we're going to talk about haunted objects and spooky things. And then he's like butt stuff. Like what? Okay. But when I thought was interesting about that,

he says, coming down the spike. Yeah, I've never heard that. I've never heard that one. I mean, maybe it's clever. I don't know. Maybe he's just confused. I'm confused, but can you play nothing you can do just going right off of that clip?

And if we want to do our show about horrible, horrible things we will, and there's nothing you can do or tell us that we can't do it. Try to, I dare you. Yeah, that's a really weird attitude to have for a podcast host. Like we're gonna do a show that's unlistenable. And if you want to try to stop us, motherfucker,

think again, this will be all, this will be all. I can turn this off. You're right, it's like this. No one can even find this show. It has a terrible name, the TX files. You know, if it I can turn this off. You're right. It's like this. No one can even find this show. It has a terrible name. The TX files. You know, if it weren't for this guy who sounded into me, who I'm guessing is one of their friends

who can't wait for us to shit all over them. But I was wondering about that. I know, because who would send this podcast? And most of the, we get a ton of suggestions. I really appreciate that. Please continue to send in your podcast suggestions. It saves me a lot of time. And I we're kind of backlogged right now. And the thing that I struggle with is that people send in the podcasts that they like

and they're decent. But then I get a podcast like this. It's like there's no one listening to the show. This is just nonsense. No, do you know their Patreon? They get $20 a month to do the show. I did see that. Um, yeah, that's embarrassing. I don't know. It makes me hopeful for my own show of just go to Patreon. Well, these guys, please don't give them money. They talk about their Patreon on the show and on their Patreon page. They talk about how they need the money to buy books.

Yeah, I heard that. You're buying books? Nothing is informative on your show. I'm not learning anything. You know what they need a book for? What's that? Batman. Can you play Arch nemesis? Okay, yeah.

Is Batman the Joker's Arch enemy? Right? They would be right. I think they're both arch enemies Oh, they're really dissecting pop culture with that one. They really are Did you hear the part where the what was the word I'm using for the the Michael that isn't a shitty Reasonable yeah, okay reasonable Michael for the the Michael that isn't a shitty reasonable. Yeah. Okay, reasonable Michael loses me here when he has to go into a Trump impression out of that wire. Yes.

Yeah, Michael, it's only $100,000 or hundreds of, that's like a Trump change. It's only a yes, Trump change. Exactly. Trump change, it's like calling out the Trump change. Trump change. Trump change. Anyway, as we were talking about. Oh, I

who who five and he he busts into it later in the show too. I didn't I didn't clip that, but yeah, the Trump impressions are not good. You know what's funny is they're from Texas and they are apparently anti Trump, which surprised me. Yeah, well, they're badass. They are badass. One of the views is actually,

I think the reviewer is called Trump fan something or whatever. And he does give them a five-star review, but he does call them Cucks. So, it doesn't make none of what you just said makes any sense. No. No. Okay, cut that out. These guys got a five-star review from a Trump lover who called them Cucks. Yes. Why would anyone give these guys a five-star review from a Trump lover who called them Cucks. Yes. Why would anyone give these guys a 5 star review? Is that like a goof? Well, they like your Cucks. They said even though you're Cucks.

Oh my God. This is, all right. I'm like you have a very well reviewed podcast. And as I've mentioned before, most people go on the podcast to review it and say, I like this show, because if you don't like a show, you stop listening to it and you move out of your life. Right. W-A-T-P is the only show.

We get tons of negative reviews, because these, you know, I'm sure that we're gonna get two more after this one from Michael and Derek here. Yeah, they're gonna target me too. Oh yeah, yeah, you're going down. You're going here going down with me Because these these hosts hear this stuff and they get their feelings hurt And then they have to go on but this is proof of that the fact that these guys have even a single five star review for this show Is this person never heard that there's good podcasts out there?

Well, they have another five star review. Oh Jesus. And it's they have a lot of five star reviews. I'm getting angry I know, but it's called a maze balls and it starts off with best podcast ever You know what else is amazing the beginning and it goes into Genesis. I'm not joking. They copied and paced to Genesis from the Bible Oh, so that's like that's got to be spam then right. I Don't even know it's weird. It is weird because these guys start and end their show praising Satan a lot right? Very much like children would like yeah, my mom and dad make me go to church, but I'm into Satan They also really like trailer park boys. Can you play Julian?

I can play Julian. Here's a dude. Thank Julian. Julian, a song. Oh my trailer park boys. Julian from trailer park. Oh my god. If you don't have trailer boys, you don't hear my bed.

That's what it's so. And I hate you. I like it. I just go to your house and give you a candy. Yeah. Team party. Boy, that escalated quickly. Yes, seriously. It's ridiculous.

And I don't like trailer park boys, so I guess they're hoping ISIS gives me a candy cane. I don't know. I'm confused. I am too. Speaking of confused, I have a track on here that I call Confused little boy The douche year of the two Michaels explains how to find haunted objects on eBay apparently you can buy haunted objects on eBay and Yeah, not not not understanding how this works Do a search for haunted cross

In the reference with the cross reference Like you search for haunted cross referenced with a search for active or clear how long things I don't know what that means So I should go through Sorry, I left it on that dead air because I just love the fact that he's tried to explain how to do something. He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I know. And then I have a track record for that that I call little boy tries to read. Some of the sellers do offer a word of caution. This is a quote from Mama Crow, any day seller.

My suggestion to you is to purchase a spirit doll and experience a paranormal realm firsthand. But bid with care. Lovely as inviting the paranormal into your lovely as inviting the but bid with care. Lovely as inviting the paranormal into your home can be exciting and addictive. Epic sale. It's hard, you know, because I do a scripted podcast. So you really have to get into the mindset of reading like you would talk and it's so hard to do that. But just start over. There's editing guys. No, there is no editing on the show that I can tell you for sure. All right. So I just have a few more clips that I want to get to. Here's another example of them trying to be funny. And I think that this is offensive to most people, so I just have a few more clips that I want to get to. Here's another example of them trying to be funny

and I think that this is offensive to most people, but I'll what that would be the judge of that. And this is the island of Japan, Michael. Have you heard of that place? Oh, Japan! Yes, yeah, much honor. And the show has reached a new low. I mean, understand it. Like this guy has to try to be funny in every fucking sentence that's said. He's so he's just like, oh, how did Japan? What? What is that?

Who's like that? I think that. It's such an ADHD stream of conscious sometimes. Here's a clip where, I don't know, I just, I thought this was ridiculous. They're talking about, it's a lot of storytelling about objects and And this is one where there's a little girl who drowns. He's watching over the place, and then one morning he goes down the shore, and there's a drown little girl on the beach. Do we know who her like, we don't know who she was, right?

Do we know her origin story? She's not Aquaman. She's not an origin story. It's just a little girl. She's like 70 years old. What kind of origin story are you's not Aquaman. It's not an origin story. It's just a little girl. She's like 70 years old. What kind of origin story are you hoping for there? And most likely this is an urban legend. It's not something that, well, you know what? We need to give them money so they can buy the book. I'm sure it's one of their books. That's one of the funny things about it. You played that clip earlier about how we're just going to lie and make shit up.

You're talking about haunted objects. That's not a thing that exists in the real world. Of course you're making this up. No one's fact checking this show. It's nonsense. That's the other thing I didn't pull, but they're very Michael Rappaport as far as we don't fact check, but they do it in their own way. We're just gonna lie.

Right. Oh, Michael Rappaport reference, I like it. So they're talking about this, I think this is going back to the couch. And they're talking about the store that was selling the couch that had the bullet hole and was possessed or whatever it was. And so this is a story about the store

that had the couch in it, had their system erased. This just pisses me off, and I'll tell you why I think we listen to it. A couple employees who have touched moved slash sat on the couch were involved in car accidents later that day. Not only that, Michael, guess what happened? What happened to them? So at some point in time, the computer system in the store, all the customer information was just deleted. What? And no one knows how. Well, that's a, that's a secret.

And when you ask the owner, what, uh, hey, bud, what happened? His response was, I don't know if it was a computer glitch or if it was the sofa. All right, sorry, that was a little bit longer. So they're saying that having a sofa in his store erased a hard drive. Did you follow that? I did.

Okay, this is why that is really fucking dumb. If you're the owner of a store and all of your customer data is at a single hard drive, you will lose it. There's things like cloud backup, there's ways to sink your data across multiple machines, maybe to a server. That just pisses me off to no end. They're acting like computer glitches happen because of her normal activity. I heard that and I thought I wonder how old the owner of the

Santique stories because I bet it's user error. Yeah, well yeah, no shit. I'm pretty sure ghost don't know how to fucking log into your computer to raise the hard drive. The solves of their enemies. Oh yeah, I had to play that. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, And this is a bizarre clip because the one guy starts explaining the story starts to explain it in a certain way. And then the Dumber Michael interrupts him in order to say the exact same thing he was saying. It kind of starts, it takes the starts going differently for the statue when Lord Elfant, which sounds kind of like Lord Elephant. And I just imagine this guy literally just looking like an elephant and like having like a top hat See you imagine that I imagine an elephant, but he's got a monical he wears a top hat

Yes, you know, he walks around he has a cave Does he walk on all fours or on two on two like a Lord would what a fucking idiot The guy goes I picture him as like an elephant with a tap head the guy goes no It's an elephant who walks out two legs with a tap hat But he was just saying You can tell that they're best friends because it's almost like they're sharing a brain at this point. Yes. Oh They are definitely besties I've been I've been hogging all the clips

Do you have anything else you want to talk about with these guys? Yeah, there's a point. Is it the first time she's shooting on a podcast? It is. It's so uncomfortable, but it's really cathartic. Like, oh, okay. It's gonna say, you're very natural.

It's a process. I don't know if that's a good thing. I think because you guys are my inner monologue sometimes when I'm listening to podcasts and I can't, yeah, your show is good, but it can use some work. And it's a shit who gives a fuck. That's just for you. Yeah.

It's Emily's favorite drop. That is my favorite drop. There's a clip called, you think it's over. Can you play that? Yes. All right, yes. So thanks so much for listening. This has been the TX files.

So we special ish. There's seven minutes after that. Why do somebody podcasts do that? That is a running thing. We're like, all right. I think we're all set here. And then you look at your, your player and you've got 12 minutes to go. What do we do? It. I thought we were done. But in that seven minutes minutes there is some gems. Can you play inside jokes are the best?

All right, give me a minute time. We smoke all those cigarettes. Yeah, what a wild time that was in high school Yeah, I know I know what the fuck they were talking about there But that was it. There was no context. It's not like I clip that and there was a whole story around it. That was it. That was it. We smoked all those secrets. The other thing they did in those seven minutes. Yes, they play podcasting videos. Yes, I can. That's like, I saw one of these songs. He's a rapper. Oh, oh. song. I don't want to listen to this song. He's a rapper. Oh, oh.

So they just start watching YouTube together. Yeah, I'm just supposed to play a log at home. Yeah, there's another clip called Go on the Graham. Okay. I want everybody to go on there on the Graham and look up this guy. Oh, God, what's he? God, damn it. I forgot his nerve. God, the pressure. I can't take it. Yeah, I have to say a quick, I call it weight of podcast. Fuck it dude, didn't bring his notes with him obviously.

But and that was in the last seven minutes and I feel like they wanted to get more in but or maybe they were trying to stop the show and realize, oh, we didn't do our crazy Florida story and oh, I didn't talk about this guy Did you see this video? Let's watch it while others listen to us watch a video Yeah, well, and there was more to that last seven minutes, too For some reason now a lot of times if you do a podcast with people who matter You'll have plugs at the end of the show and you'll say oh, yeah, I got it I'm in the new Netflix series and check out this for some, these ass hats just talk about what they're enjoying watching on TV.

If I had to recommend anything to watch, or I don't know, I don't really have anything. Oh, he's the one who brought it up. If that way, the other guy was like, so he's watching he could show his late, and he's like, well, if I had to recommend, he just breaks one who brought it up. And that way the other guy was like, so he'd watch any good shows lately. He's like, well, if I had a recommend, he just breaks up. He's like, all right. So if there's any they had recommend to watch, I don't know. And then the other guy starts talking about American horror story for a while. I don't know.

I was just so confused. That must be an ongoing segment. They wanted to do in their show. You know what, Emily? They just will never know. We'll what Emily? We'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know if that's not going to happen. I'm not going to segment, did you?

Yeah. I've been pressed. No. I will never listen to this show again. And the people, and we've gotten feedback from people who say, you know, you guys aren't actually reviewing a podcast, you're reviewing a single episode of a podcast. That is right. How many of these fucking shows am I supposed to listen to in order to

shit out of? Are you kidding me? One is plenty. Yeah, that's true. Although, okay. So going back to the reviews, there was one more I wrote down. Oh, great. And somebody said they're the fun Kathy Bates of podcasting. That would like it. That would be the funniest cat that on the show. I want to know what that means. I like it. The fun Kathy Bates. She wants to torture them both. All right.

I have one more clip on here that I want to play for you. And it's the one thing they did right. We've listened to this whole podcast, it's nonsense, it's garbage, it's not entertaining, and then all of a sudden, I don't know where at the very, very end, they do this. Alright, well thank you so much for listening. We'll be back very soon with another spooky episode for our uh, October.

Where to ramp these books up? It's gonna be more spooky and the flask, it's gonna be fun. Have a good night. Satan is free. Dude, did you hear that they hit the post? I know. They held the post. I was perfect. I even liked their song at the end.

I was like, this is appropriate. I was digging it. But what is that all about? Do they hit the post in real time? Or do they actually go back and do some editing and put it in at the right spot? I guess that's it. All right.

Did you have any other clips that you wanted to play before we moved down with our lives? I had one more called yelling and it's pretty self-explanatory. Well, that's, I mean, if it's consensual, if it was inappropriate, like I said, okay, but they weren't complaining. I saw the pictures. They were having a big time. Why are you yelling? Yeah. He just aircats so angry and he's definitely, I wrote down he's an angry elf. Just yeah, he is an angry elf. And actually, I can't picture what he looks like in my mind.

It's a pre-pubescent, like a little white kid, just like the most obnoxious little pre-pubescent white kid. But at the beginning, he does say something about himself being a little brown something, a little brown surprise. Yeah, I heard that too. So maybe I'm way off on that. I tried to find what these guys looked like on the interwebs, but alas. I think I found rational Michael.

Oh, we found the rational guy. Yeah, rational guy. He's, he looks very rational. I think because he has glasses, I'm like, yep, that's rational. Michael. Okay. And what do you think this age was? Where would you put that?

I would say 30s, maybe even late 30s. No, no, it's depressing. Oh, that's depressing. These poor guys. I know. I could be way off though. There are lots of Michaels, but only a few who follow their show on Twitter. I did some digging.

Nice. I appreciate that. We got a cybers talk, these people, in order to really do a good show, and know what we're talking about. We do. And you know what? It's hard work doing what you do every week. I have to commend you.

Thank you very much. You know, a lot of people think that I waste a lot of time and they're right. It is a giant time suck to listen to these shows, pull clips. I could be doing way better things with my life. That's for sure. Speaking of which. But I think you do them a service. They just don't realize it because how many times do you end up downloading

their show? Because I went through them from different machines. So they got at least three downloads for me. That's funny. You said you're doing them a service. I thought what you meant was they're getting feedback that they can actually use. Not just their friends going, Oh, yeah, man, it's your show. It's great. They're getting real feedback. Like, Oh, maybe I shouldn't just be yelling out and acting up all the time. But no, your thing was you're doing them a service. They have three more downloads that they would have.

Well, the other thing too, but I feel like they might not listen with a constructive ear. Yeah, well, that's probably true. Fair enough. So last week, we reviewed a show called The Dick Show with host Dick Masterson. And the Dick Show came from another podcast called The Biggest Problem in the Universe with Dick and Maddox.

And then they had a falling out. And then the Dick Show, they have a rabid community. They have this sub-ride it. When we put the show out, the sub-ride had picked it up right away. I mean, literally, I don't know if someone's got a Google alert setup, but I've never seen someone pick up the show so quickly. And they had a whole discussion around WATP on the subreddit. So I pulled out some gems that I wanted to read from that. I think this was the one that was upvoted the most.

It says, I appreciate that their icon is a garbage can with headphones on because it actually sounds like it's recorded from inside a garbage can. Good stuff. Dick Masterson. So I put a little comment on the sub and just let him know, hey guys, I see all your notes here. Appreciate the response. Sorry, I didn't do enough research to get the whole back story and everything. Dick Masterson himself responded to me and said, you guys should rank the shows you review because to him, everything is a contest. It's not a bad idea. You know, these shows, when we have to listen to the TX files. It's a brutal week. But if we had multiple shows that we are reviewing and then ranking, that might be an interesting

way to go about it. So I won't be too happy because you'd be ranking different styles. I mean, you have to change it up for something like the TX files. It would be Emily, it's not a real thing. Oh, okay. No, who wins. it would be. Emily, it's not a real thing. Oh, okay. Winds. But I'm just like, well, maybe it's two haunted couches at a five. It's fine. Here's a comment. It's amazing how comfortable people are these days with just absolutely talking out their asses. Sure enough. I like that. Like, that could be on both ends, though, for the podcasts that you review.

And also you guys, I guess. Oh, yeah, everyone's really comfortable talking about their asses. That's the problem with the internet. You used to have to go through layers and layers to get onto a broadcasting platform. I mean, you would have to get approval from other people and have people enjoy you. Now, it's like assholes like me get on here, put out a show. We didn't even know what we're talking about But we speak with authority and it's annoying. It's annoying for a lot of people Speaking of that here's another comment on here. It bothers me how much they get wrong

But it's still funny the way the guy winds about how much dick gets on patreon suck shit I wonder if they're talking about you or Vinnie, because Vinnie was just livid about that. Yeah, they talk about Vinnie on here a couple of times. It's pretty funny. They say the guy who sounds fat doesn't know what he's talking about. All right, so here's another one. He says, when you can't even take the time to understand the subject matter, the whole purpose of your shitty show, it makes you look like a massive asshole with zero credibility.

These dudes can get fucked. That was one of the nicer ones. I don't know how you read these. I couldn't. Oh, this is fun. This is a good one. So this is going back to, to Benny. The guy that sounds fat and he's a stop screaming

into the microphone. The main guy seemed pretty solid though. Yeah, main guy. Some shorties here. Who are these faggots? Good one. There's one that who is? Who are these podcasts?

That's a good one too. The last one I'll read is, these guys are insufferable, and I tried to listen to this from a neutral perspective. If they have any balls, they'll talk to Dick directly. They purposely cut up Dick clips to attempt to make him sound bad, even though what they cut out didn't sound bad.

So. I like the term Dick clips a lot. Yeah, I like that. I'm cutting up dick clips. My wife is not going to be happy with that. You know, it's interesting that what I'm supposed to do was not pull clips from the show and review it like I normally do. I was supposed to talk to dick directly. Is there a new show just gonna start calling into podcasts? And be like, you suck asshole. I don't think that's really an option. Well, I think you should pull Dick clips

and then get Dick on your show to have an interview with him. Emily, that's too much to think. That's too much dick, Emily. Maybe on your podcast, you can have that much dick, but not on WOTP. So I wanna thank A-Bomb 1980 and I topper 11th of this year, five star review. It's a five star review with the subject line pretty funny. But I'll tag it. But yeah, we appreciate those. We need to

counterbalance the folks that get butter when we rip on their podcast. So if you're a fan of the show, even if you're not, give us a five star review and then shoot on us. It's fine. I just need the five star reviews. That's the important thing. I think I checked last night. You were two and a half stars. No. Two and a half. Yeah. Plus, you have international. The only reason why we have two and a half stars is because Do it half, yeah. What's the other international? The only reason why we have two and a half stars is because you can't give zero. People have pointed that out.

If I could give zero, I would, but here's your one summary view. It's great. All right. We've talked about a lot of stuff here. I feel like we've hit all the things that we need to talk about. We talked about buying Honda items on eBay, right? Yeah, I think I know how to do it. You go to the cross reference, right? They explained it very well. They did. Yeah. So, so you know what that means, Emily? It means that there's a certain time in the show that we have reached.

Oh, yay! That's right, Emily. It is time for the teaser. Are you familiar with this part of the show? I am. I love this part of the show. It's like the next week. Right! I know. It's funny. I get some co-hosts on here sometimes You don't realize how important this part of the show is and I explained to them This is the most amazing part and they look at me like no one likes this part like fuck you I'm the one reading the emails. I'm the one in the Twitter sphere Seeing all this feedback everyone saying oh my god Carl just hurry up and get to next week's teaser It is the best part of the show by far It's probably the best part of the show by far.

It's probably the best part of any podcast on the net. There I said it. You should just have your show of teasers. And that's it. It should just be teasers. We've been wasting everyone's time up until this point. This is the point of the show that people get stoked about. And do you know why they get stoked about it, Emily?

I don't. Oh, well, let me explain it. Endless possibilities. That's true. It could be anything. It could be anything. Like, is it going to be my podcast? They're going to be the podcast I like.

Are they going to do another morning radio show? It could be anything. You know what? That's originally why I started listening to the show because I was so afraid that you guys were going to take my show So I had to listen and I wanted the teaser so that to make sure it wasn't my show Yeah, well, how do you know if this one isn't gonna be your show? I know it just might be This is getting the intense moment here. All right, so this is exciting

We've had a great week in seven days. We're gonna do this all over again. We're gonna be reviewing another show. And that show sounds like this. I'm not gonna get your occasions feeling much, you're never gonna see it from us. Because everyone has a podcast. A podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome to everyone has a podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Brian And I'm Adam sitting right across from him doing this thing that we like to do every I know you yeah Hey, we I see you somewhere before right? Yeah, you're my fucking co-host All right, that is everyone has a podcast. We'll be listening to an episode called Turkey Fight from October 11th, 2017.

Emily, I think you're familiar with these guys, right? I am. They're my buddies. They're your buddies. You know what? I was pushing them to submit their show. I was like, you gotta go on here. You guys can take a ribbing. It's fine. It's a lot of fun. So I'm glad they did it. Good job, Adam. Adam did. He wrote into the show. He asked us to review it. Everyone has a podcast. Let me just read from their website, a description of the show.

We are a comedy podcast that discusses today's current events while avoiding the stuff that gets beaten into the ground by the other five Zillion podcasts listed under comedy. How would the fuck would they know with the other five Zillion podcasts are talking about? Well, it doesn't come up. It's true. Just like if everyone's talking about Trump, you have to understand they're in

Canada too. So whenever one's talking about Trump here, they're kind of like, that's getting kind of cold here. Okay. So if the description was we don't talk about Trump, I'd be like, okay, good. Fine. I could use a podcast like that. Sounds good.

All right. I just thought that was interesting that they're like, we talk about current events, but none of this stuff you hear on other podcasts. How is it even fucking possible? Anyway. I don't know. I think you'll have fun with that though.

Oh, I'm excited. So then the next part says, the comedic approach of this show comes naturally from Adam's inability to be serious, bounce against Brian's natural straight man vibe. So now they've already described what the chemistry is and how, okay, I already know that Adam's going to be the wacky one and Brian's going to try to pull him in. All right, Adam, let's get back on topic. Brian's going to be the Michael.

Adam's going to be the Derek. Exactly. Yeah, at least, you know, Michael and Michael don't explain what their roles are out of the show. I'll give him credit for that. But everyone has a podcast. I thought the opening song I should have talked about it right, I played the clip. But the, let me, well, you know what, let me play this real quick. This is it from their opening song. But you're never gonna see it collapse Because everyone has a podcast

All right, so when you write music when you write a song syllables are very important So this verse is the communication bucket but you never go to see a collapse, okay? So that's a lot of syllables and then the next line is because everybody because everyone has a podcast So it's like because because everyone has a podcast. I go, where do I go back to the drawing board on that one? I think one of my favorite episodes of this show, of your show, is the one with the beauty woman, and she had a weird single. Entrepreneurial success. I'll never forget that song. Oh my gosh, it was in my head for a week.

Best modeling tips. Tips about modeling and on to Prenourio Sox's. Inside jokes are the best. Well, come on, if you're not an ad listener to WATP, what do you do it? That's true. People need to be super fans. They need to go download your back catalog. Do you see super fans? I didn't, but that would be that would be a cool fan nickname. Wouldn't it? I'm only I don't know about that. I like super fan. I think that sounds better. Or we can have them on the DIC show. Their fans are called Dickheads. Good one.

So maybe for WETP, our fans could be assholes. Seven times. That's very true. It works, right? I mean, thank you again for taking the time, skiping in from Connecticut. Right? You're somewhere in Connecticut on the East Coast.

Don't look like a ghost. Don't look like a ghost. Don't look like a ghost. Don't look like a guy. We can be coast to coast. But which coast is that it's not the third coast? It's really hard. Is there anything I know you have a lot going on in the podcast of communities? Are anything else that you want to plug your Twitter or any other shows you're doing? Nope. I'm afraid people will stalk me now. That's true. You want to probably want to hide into this show. We like, oh, it's actually not Emily.

It's her evil twin. Sure, I'm at the story behind podcast.com. You can find everything there where to find me, how to get in touch with me. Please don't send me death threats. Just send them to Carl. It's fine. But death threats come in this way. I made her do it. I put her up to it. That's true. It was just like, you know, those guys yelling at me to say,

if you don't like it, it's too bad. This is our podcast. That's what he did to me. That's what we do. So please join us again next week because it might be the episode we find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. Du getzerschätten, getzerpast. JAAAAAAA! Still tight. I don't know. I don't get it. It makes no sense.