Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep79 Everyone Has a Podcast (EHAP)

Episode Date: October 22, 2017

Bryon and Adam live in Canada. That's cool. The problem is, they also have a podcast. Ugh. It is not good. There's no format and, for some reason, they consider it to be a comedy show. There have been no laughs... none! Joe joins the show this week to dissect this garbage. Plug your nose and listen to the latest offering from WATP! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's show time. Just a handful that don't suck That's where we come in Hard casting views like A little welcome and the right Joe W-A-G-P W-A-G-P Who are these podcasts? W-A-T-P

Who likes these podcasts? Not W-A-G-E Who likes these podcasts? That one's beyond me Who are these podcasts? W-A-T-P W-A-T-P W-A-T-P Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts.

We listen to podcasts that you don't have to. I'm your host, Carl. With me today back on W-A-T-P for the third time, it's Andy's brother, Joe. I'm your host, Carl. With me today, back on W ATP for the third time, it's Andy's brother, Joe. Welcome back, Carl, to my show. How you doing? Joe is back with us. I'd like to remind our listeners you can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at who are these pod? If you like what you hear, don't forget to give us a positive five star review on iTunes. Combat the trolls for us. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called E-Hap. Everyone has a podcast.

Joan, I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. So, let's get into it. This is a Canadian show with co-host Brian and Adam. This would seem to be like a companion podcast to this show. Right, everyone has a podcast. Yeah.

Who are these podcasts? Right. You'd think that it'd be like a Kumbaya kind of thing. I kind of felt like it was almost like a bizzaro version of this show in a way that I'll point out. Yeah, I'll be upset of this show. We'll get to it. I'll point it out the bizzaro side of it.

But so Joe, you took a lot of clips. Yeah. You sent those over to me now. So people understand our process. I get the clips. I don't listen to them. I don't know. We've probably clipped similar parts.

We listened to the same episode. And what Joe did that nobody else has ever done is gave the clips zero names. I, they're just one through 17. So I did. No, I did. I did it on purpose. I named them on my side, but I didn't want to give anything

away for you, for your, you know, because you don't like to know anything. So I don't like even know what I mean. Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice if it had some type of title. So I, whatever, that's fine. Yeah. Last week when Emily was on the show, she didn't number them at all.

So I had to use the alphabet to find where she was talking to you about us. This is gonna be a lot of work for me. Numbers are easier. Yeah, I have their reference. I haven't cross-referenced with names and numbers on my side for my- Well, I'm really peeling back the curtain now.

Yeah. All right, I wanna start off with a clip that I think best sums up the show. I call this the clip that sums up the show. Which is just interesting to me. It's very interesting to me, Brian. It's interesting to nobody fucking listening to this, but it's interesting to me, Brian.

I clip. Absolutely. I clip the exact same thing for some of the show. Did you really? I did the exact same thing. My clip too. Because they talk for an hour. I listened to the show last night while watching the baseball game and when it was over I listened to the whole thing and when it was over I had no idea what I

just listened to. Yeah. It was just filler. Yeah. Oh, 100% filler the entire time. You could play my clip one. That's I didn't know whether to use that one or this one as the sum up. Hey, if somebody wants to shell out a couple bucks a month to get a buddy cloud level. Don't call me a rat buddy. I'm not your buddy friend. He's not your friend. I'm not your guy buddy. He's not your buddy friend. Oh, that's brilliant South Park Clifford. Yeah, I mean, this show can be not about Canadian. And I love it. I mean, I love how Canadian these guys are.

And to be, I, I don't know, this happened the last time I was on as well when we did the MTV one. I started listening to it. And I'm like, I kind of like this show. Like, I think I'm going to have a hard time shitting on this because I kind of agree with it. I kind of, and the same thing happened with this. I started listening to it.

And I'm like, they start talking about Bitcoin, which I find interesting. And they have, and you know, they're into podcasting and stuff. So I'm like, oh, this will be kind of interesting to listen to, but I quickly started to be annoyed, but it is well. All right, well, you mentioned the Bitcoin thing.

So let me just play a clip where they talk about that. Bitcoin's one of those weird things that wrote off early. I was like, fuck and Bitcoin's not gonna be anywhere, but people said that shit about Google. People probably said that shit about Apple. Okay, so a couple of things on this. First off, Bitcoin is not a company. Right.

So comparing it to Google and Apple makes zero subs. Yeah, but they're just talking about the like conceptually, the idea of these things, people being slow to get on board with. I was alive in the late 90s, really 2000s. Yeah. Was anyone doubting Google? And they had a, I mean, meteoric rise, there was no doubt that that was the messer

change in. No, it was like, I'm a dog pile guy, you know, I kick it down with Google. What is he talking about? There were doubtors of Google. You know, I feel about Bitcoin the way I felt about Google. No chance, no future. Yeah, I think I told that exact same clip, but I believe I had something on the end of mine.

Why don't you play my number three here? I was like, fuck in Bitcoin, it's not going to be anywhere. But people said that shit about Google. People probably said that shit about Apple. You know, people said that shit about my space. Look where it's at now. Oh yeah. Magic the Gathering fucked up the entire currency.

Yeah, like. Okay, that's where the comedy portion of this. You remember this show is a comedy podcast, Joe. Yeah, he says the nice face thing to dead silence. Yes, hilarious joke. Yeah, by space. And then when magic, the gathering can take down a currency, rights, it's not a currency.

Well, that's what they talk about. The Mount Goc, the Gocs thing. Yeah. Do you have more clips on that subject? Play my number. Let's get through this for a minute. OK, let's get through it. I don't want to go as an adult who's 32 years old.

I don't want to go buy a box of magic cards, because no, there's no because just stop right there. No, you're good. We don't want to buy magic. And then magic cards because no, there's no because just not right there. I don't want to buy magic. And then I think he even says, I hope I'm not shitting on your next clip here, but I think he even says, I mean, I guess you could buy it online. Right. So what you're saying is it's embarrassing to buy this thing. You could buy it online.

No shit. If people knew it was coming in the boxes to my office, it'd be ridiculous. Along with my butt plugs. All the embarrassing shit by I by I live. What are you talking about? I'm not gonna walk into one of these fucking paradise stores that spell fucking magic cards. Okay, so you what you had more on the big way.

Yeah, I like this clip. So they talk about Bitcoin and then they get into magic to gathering because it just segues in for some reason. These guys don't have a lot of structure. It's just fluid conversation. It was all over the place. All over the place.

So here's an example of that. But it's interesting to me, magic to gathering that, it's, I mean, it's still around. People love the fucking game. And you know, when I go deep and I start watching videos I'm like I could fucking get into this I think like there's strategy and skill and anything that's like a strategy skill-based thing

Uh, I kind of a little bit of luck in there. So it's kind of almost gambling. I can kind of get into I'm like oh fuck man I'm drawn to it and then I realize that I don't want to Invest that much time. Okay, so these are two that I don't want to invest that much time. Okay, so these are two guys who don't play Magic the Gathering. The one guy Brian says he's never even seen a physical magic the Gathering card in real life. And yet they're talking, why are we talking about it? If you guys don't play it, you know nothing about it. Because they were talking, because it's Bitcoin.

I don't know, I mean, I don't know. At this point in the show, Joe, they talked about Bitcoin, which this one guy thought wouldn't catch up. And then they followed that up with Manchester Gathering, which neither one has ever played and know nothing about. I don't think they don't seem to know a lot about anything. What are we talking about? Which is all, I mean, it's okay. But they start talking like really,

I mean, they talked like kind of intelligently about this stuff. Bitcoin, what specifically? No! I mean, that, but it sounds like they know what they're talking about sort of without knowing anything about it. You guys like, yeah, magic sounds like a cool game. I guess there's like, what convolved and stuff? That's like gambling.

What? And then the guy goes, I can't get an imagine to gather because I already have my things that I do. That's my clip 5. Okay, that'll be for you that before I spoil it. So I can't really shit on it like, I'm better than magic. It's just, I already have my magic to gathering.

It's podcasting and kind of the NFL. Yeah. Kind of the NFL. Kind of the NFL. The NFL. Carl, I mean to, magically gathering comic books and the NFL. What? Like the NFL, Carl, I meant to magic the gathering, comic books, and the NFL. What, like the NFL? Watching football is not equal to playing a nerd game

with Luzo Canada. Oh, it's very different. I mean, I guess in Canada, the NFL is like a subculture, right? I've never seen someone who tried to hide the fact that they watched the NFL from a girl they were trying to bang. Magic the gathering, all the time. And you don't have the black lotus hat to go along with your black lotus jersey for your magic card equipment card. I mean, you lost me. I don't know what the fuck.

I don't know either the time this show, it's the only thing, I guess it's the fucking most valuable fucking magic card. If that's the case, these, these, these could not. What the fuck are they talking about? All right, here's a clip that I bet you remember from the show. And it just goes to show you how Canadian these guys really are. So like the last night we were at Donut World. And like, it's got like 20 tables, eh? But it only has like, um, eight spots in front, right?

So like, we got there and there was no place to put the van, right? So, you know what he did, eh? He just left it on the street, right? So we got a ticket. Yeah. And it was like 20 bucks, right? That's what this part of... That's what it's...

Fancy me. That should be a podcast. That's what this podcast was that we elicit to as far as I could tell. The Brambling Conversation. Give me a baguette. That was actually a Bob and Doug McKenzie. That's what there's podcast was that we listened to as far as I could do. Brambling conversation. That was actually a Bob and Doug McKenzie. You remember the McKenzie brothers? Holy shit, I went back because this show, I'm like, I gotta go and clips from those guys.

I didn't realize that back then on SCTV, and these guys became very famous. They had a Christmas album. They made a movie full-length poster. They didn't have any jokes. That was literally what their skit was we went to donate world last night and we got a ticket for $1 like who's laughing at this right there's no joke I'll be out I mean I'm sure we'll get a lot of comments on this I don't think I've ever seen Strange Brew all the way through yeah because it's fucking boring it's not a good movie I like I used to get a lot of comments on this.

Yeah, all those strange, broo fan bases are like a blast. It's gonna be all fans of this show who are fans of Canada. Are there fans of this show? I don't know, I mean. Are there, well they have sponsors, Carl? They do have Gamefly, which they do a brilliant read of. That's not a problem, thanks to our sponsor.

Oh, really, Casper mattresses is selling games now? No, game fly. Oh yeah, game fly, baby. How could I forget? Answer, I can't. All right, so I see a lot of podcasts, like amateur podcasts that have sponsors do this thing. Where they, the whole point of doing a live read

is people wanna feel like they're listening to the show still. That's why it works. If you listen to morning radio, they try to work it in like they're not doing a spot. Right. And that way people continue to listen and they're paying attention. This fucking asshole is talking like, you know, normal, well, as normal as you can when you live in Alberta. And then it's like, game fly, whoa! Yeah, I'm playing game fly, it's like, game fly, whoa, yeah, I want to play it. Game fly. It's gonna be money. Okay, okay, douchebag. Obviously, that

really making money on Gamefly, someone has to go to the website and put in the right URL. So I guarantee no one's actually doing that because, you know, if you judge a podcast based on their Patreon, then you would know that they have two loyal fans. There's other people. Two people who in particular are kind of just supporting this show, and that's Matt of the One Word Ghost Show, and Emily of the Story Behind, are first two Patreon sponsors. Yeah. First and last. I don't like how optimistic the sky sounds about. I was like,

yeah, we're getting started. We got our first two. It's like, no, that's where it begins and ends my friend. These are so far, it won't sound like it based on what our conversation here, but these are the parts of the show that I thought they were doing well. Okay. Let's do, I'm ready for that. Let's go number six. All right.

Beautiful mixer. And he was like, well, it was wrong with the old one. I was like, nothing, but this one's it was slightly better. It was making a clicking sound. Once in a blue moon that bothered me, I hate things that are beyond my control. Everyone's no longer editing. They were like, could you still hear the words that were coming out of your mouth going out? And I said, yeah, oh, yeah. So he's like, doesn't the content matter more than the quality? And I said, probably, oh yeah. And he's like, doesn't the content matter more than the quality? And I said, probably, but.

So this is how it's a pizarro of this show, right? I think the content we put out is more important. No, they're more concerned with the way it sounds. Well, obviously, they're into podcasting. They're passionate about podcasting. Yeah, it's so. I like what did he say podcasting in the NFL? Well, those are his passions or whatever, right?

So I liked that they were, that they're passionate about what they do. And it's interesting to him, but not interesting to anybody out there. Do we get for themselves? Can I expect that? Can I expect that? Yeah, actually, it is perfect for what we're talking about

right now. We've even done a podcast about podcasting in a while. Yeah, you know what though, what the fuck else are we gonna talk about? We're jamming three of these suckers out in a week. It's interesting, maybe people don't do podcasts are kinda like, I want to know something, are probably not, it's incredibly boring.

Yep, I do podcasts, I found this incredibly boring. So they do a podcast about podcasts. And that's what you were talking about. You were talking about the mixer they bought. Now they can hear other people who's their mixer and it's not the right mixer. And how can you use that mixer with a Mac? And it's like holy shit dude.

Nobody cares. And what's crazy to me is they talk about how you get into this mode where you can start to podcast. We can talk for an hour. No problem. We're podcasting now. It's like no to podcast. We can talk for an hour. No problem. We're podcasting now. It's like, no, just because you can talk for an hour, which I can do with every single one of my friends

at any point, I do it all the time. It doesn't make it a podcast. It's not a show. This is how it's bizarre. You gotta have a foreman. This is how we have a bizarre way to this, right? They care about how great it sounds. They care about the equipment they're using and then they get into the content

And it's like the worst it goes from the most boring shit that you can talk about to the creepiest shit that you can talk about So we're not even getting into the creepy part yet. I'm trying to get through the boring stuff I try to be nice to these guys before we get into how fucking creepy this show is yes And so very uncomfortable for any of the lost things. We care more about, and I say we, because this is my podcast. Correct. A little bit more about making this interesting, and not so much about how great it sounds, where these guys are more interested in making it sound as good as it can while being

fucking boring as fuck. Hold on a second, Joe. I have to stop you. I just stop you right there. You have literally tried to sell me better equipment and it discounted a rate. You're like, Carl, I can help you out. I have it in. You want this show to sound better.

I'm the asshole. I'm the problem, so don't take responsibility for that. You deserve zero blame for how WATP actually comes out in post and and sounds. But yeah, these guys, it's bizarre to me because you'd think everyone has a podcast is the name of the show. They have this premise. They're like, we know everyone has a podcast. We're different, right? Isn't that kind of what they're insinuating? Yeah, sure.

I think when I read the description last week during the teaser, they said, we're a different type of comedy podcast. We talk about things that the other podcasts aren't talking about. You can hear that stuff, anyway. So then I listen to this show, and it's just like every other fucking terrible podcast. Well, I don't know what's different about it.

They pronounce a boot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's different about it? Yeah, they're Canadian. Yeah. I don't understand. They're not even gonna be Canadian. They're talking about the NFL and America a lot.

Like guys, I mean fucking embrace Canada then. So when it comes to their product, okay, so this was, well, I'll save that one because that leads, that'll lead into the creepiness, but... No, my number seven, I thought you'll be able to use number seven a lot, Carl. How does this show sound so much fucking better than ours? I thought you'd be able to use that over and over again. I love his stump play that again. I love his stump. Oh, it's God. I'm sorry. I have loaded it. I loaded it, but I did want to play another show. I did want to play another ISO that I think is perfect for this particular podcast and many WATPs that we'll play in the future. Don't shit on our parade. Sorry dude. Don't shit on our parade. Yep, sorry, that's definitely gonna happen. All right, so Joe, I have a question for you.

Yeah. When you're talking to someone and you know, it could be a guy friend, but it's usually a chick. What's the most boring thing they could possibly talk about? This is a quick tribute question. That I'll talk to a chick about or a chick talks to me. It talks to you about. So you're in a conversation and they bring this thing up. It's the most boring thing you could possibly talk about. There are shoes. Shapping.

It's close. The answer is a fucking dream they had. And cue the clip, my show. I actually had a dream last night about buying an air compressor. Oh, wow, dude, you fucking dreams go huge. Yeah, it was a really nice air compressor. I got it for $110.

In your dream? Yeah, not in real life, though. No, no, no, no going real life. I mean, and one guy was like surprised that the guy who was selling it didn't charge me $3,000 going real like. And one guy was like surprised that the guy who was selling it didn't charge me $3,000 for Jesus. Okay, here's the thing, Joe. These fucking guys who've been podcasting for years

and know how to podcast according to them. I don't care if this guy bought an air compressor or real life. I don't know anything about this guy, I don't give a shit. He's not fun, or funny, or interesting. He had a dream about buying an air compressor, and asked him to explain that he got it a really good price in his dream that people in his dream were jealous about.

They couldn't believe it. Holy shit, asshole. I clipped that, too. And that I didn't play it because I thought, it was even too boring to even make fun of. But also, I was like, I'm jealous of that Eric impressed. I want the Eric forever. Why would I care about this asshole's dream?

I can't think of a single fucking reason. Why I would download this podcast and waste any time listening to that asshole talk about the dream, he's fucking talking to us like a slow adult. He was being good for this sleep with me. The sleep with me. Like they should be putting people to sleep. They should get into that.

That's actually a podcast thing. You know another thing about the Brian that's Brian. The fact that the fact that I was watching baseball while listening to this podcast, it didn't fall asleep. Is a testament to my ability in life. Yeah. I mean, that's impressive. Your constitution is my constitution.

I'm like fucking Charlie Sheen. All right, so I want to talk about the fact that this guy, Adam, is a comedian. Self-proclaimed. Are you kidding? I'm looking at their website. And actually, I should bring up the fact that Adam's the one who reached out to us

and asked us to play the show, which I give a ton of credit to. Anytime somebody says, hey, why don't you review our podcast, they know it's not gonna go well. Yeah. So he actually wrote me a note, recently found out about your show, well, the concept, and by the way, I should mention our friend Emily, who co-hosted with me last week. She actually was one of the patriots, people that you heard. She's the one who's a fan of this show and told them about us and that's how this all came about. So Adam reached out to us and says, our show is called Everyone has a Podcast. And thanks in advance for any consideration. Thanks in advance. I was like, all right, man, I mean, I appreciate your willingness to be shit upon.

Thanks in advance. So anyway, I'm looking at their website and it's eHapPodcast.com. And on the about page, we have a picture of Adam here and a little bio. I love his bio because he explains all the comedians that he likes. Okay. Because this is important. Hey, Joe, you'll be amazed. Like he goes deep. Louis CK Chris Rock. You ever heard of that guy? Dave Chappelle. Bill Burr. Wow. Mitch Hedberg, David Tal. Jim Norton. Yes. Okay. We get it.

That's every popular community. It's every popular comedian. We get it. I mean, the only thing I like about both of these guys' bios is that they do talk a lot about ONA and I'm a big ONA fan myself. But this is something that he wrote in his bio. I'm usually goosing around and sometimes give my real opinion on things, though that is usually a rarity. That's a fucking doozy right there. But anyway, so... Goose singer is out of Canadian. I felt like there was a lot of Canadian slang that I wasn't getting on the show. I just think that's what a boring person says he's trying to be funny.

Let me give you another example of how this guy is not a comedian. He does this thing where he pronounces a word, he over-pronounces a word, and that's how you know it's a joke. Here's an example of that. No, and oh yeah, last night that's right, I was monkey in a dick last night. That's why I threw up on my fitted sheet. I was monkey in a dick.

There's been no laughs! What do you mean, I'm not? I mean, there's nothing funny about over-pronouncing. So he wanted that to be a big thing, like, oh, it's monkey, my dick. Like, what? You just said monkey, you're dead. And then he's like, did you hear me?

I said monkey, yay. Well, did you clip the part where he has to explain what monkey-ing is? I sure did. So here he is. Because there's nothing funnier than a joke you have to explain. Oh, yeah, no.

And what I say, monkey. So this is way later in the show, they do a part where they talk about body modifications and this is just super boring rambling about microchips and pussy installations. And here is Adam talking about how he wants a pussy. And again, it's this over-pennunciation. So you know it's a joke.

And then the next thing I want is I want a pussy installed. I want a pussy installed. I want a pussy installed. You want quiet? You know what? I've spent half my life with a dick. I just free here in Alberta. So he's talking about getting a pussy installed and then Because he has to build on that. This is how he gets hilarious with it. I want to lift up my balls and get my pussy munchied while I jerk my dick off. Nothing in my ass because that's gay. But you can fuck my pussy while I jerk my dick off.

I just had a note out here about that clip. You know Jim Foran team. Yeah, I think he would say, what are we 12? What are we talking about? You're gonna monkey your pussy. Is that funny? Are we in the playground right now? We have to get back to class.

So I don't know if you've ever encountered this, but like, I don't, women don't really like that word. And I, I usually, I'm like, what do you mean, you don't like a word? You don't like words, you know, words, or words hurt your feelings. What do you you mean you don't like a word you don't like words words words hurt your feelings What do you mean you don't like words but you're like a cut this deal with this I began to understand it play my number 17 I'm drunk Carl. I don't do this often. I'm jumping all over the place

I like jumping to number 17 here because This is a montage of every time they say, I'm not even gonna say it anymore. We're saying it now and we're saying it too much because play my number 17. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy.

We're too much labia. Yeah, not enough labia. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. That's too much.

Too fucking much, Carl. That's right. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Pussy., Carl. That's why I think. Is that can be, it's just, like I think, this is where we get into the part where they're trying, they're really trying hard. The boringness is them talking about subculture shit that only they really care about.

The creepiness now starts coming in when they start, everything starts getting a little more fake. These are produced, like these concept concept of I want to pussy installed Like these are this isn't like genuine It's not organic correct and they wrote this down like this is gonna be a good gag when they start They're like we're doing two or three these a day or a day Don't worry about it. You don't worry about trying to quality over quality. You know, like don't try so hard.

So yeah, all right, you ready to get into it? You're ready to get into it. Let's click and do it. Because everyone get ready for some creepiness. All right, there's multiple segments of the show. And by the way, this episode is called Turkey Fight. Yeah. And it's because Adam, okay, you know I haven't even talked about the made up that it's

Cocktober. Right. Oh, play my, uh, eight. Oh, do you have a tough one? Number eight. All right. And here's a genuine. It's...

Cracked Rule. Oh. Oh. Oh. I had the exact same stinger. That's true. Oh! Oh! No! No! No! I had the exact same stinger. So yeah, the Cactobar thing comes up and they just want to talk, tell stories about Cacts.

Which is weird because how are you? They're starting to do the exact same thing right now. Oh no, no. You don't want to start anymore? No. No. How are Stern has the month of October devoted devoted the cocktober and it's ridiculous. It's the gayest thing you've ever heard of in life.

Right, so I'm not saying he's doing it. I don't understand either. I don't know why these guys, I don't think these guys are stealing it from Howard. They probably do it every year, whatever. It's not a clever bit, but okay, so it's... Or a bit that anybody wants to listen to. Well, correct.

I can't imagine their fan bases that much in the cocks that they want to hear about these stuff. So, but also I will say though, like I like to throw a little encouragement out along with the criticism. And that was a well-produced singer. I like what they do. What it goes along with.

So production there. Their equipment is great. That production is great. That production is great. The podcast sounds great. They're doing, they're technically doing everything right. And that's, and then they hit a brick fucking wall with the content. But.

That was a good singer. I mean, it's not our style quality. Slumber and murder. They slaughter. They slaughter. Thanks to Marcus from the UK. Yeah, you did produce that. They slap the effect! Thanks to Marcus from the UK. Yeah, you did produce that. I had nothing to do with that.

Yeah, so I don't, I mean, I don't know where you want to go. All right, we'll be getting the copy over. Let me explain this, this turkey fight thing. Oh, you want to go to that? Well, I didn't even clip it because it's stupid. Oh, okay. I just wanted to explain what I wanted to do. Oh, well, here I got, let's play my 12.

And anyways, he pats us down on our, on our, on our genitals, gives us a good heap and help in a, of some, all purpose. Just all over the gen's kind of thing. I, I, can I explain what he's talking about there? Yeah, well, my 13, play 13. Okay, okay. God, this is such a fucking log. He's really just stretching this one out about 13

The first person to knock the other person's flower completely off When's the turkey fight Great okay Do you have any more clothes? Okay, so when Adam was a young lad He was watching a VHS tape with his buddy and his uncle comes in and says You guys need to have a turkey fight. Oh, it's a turkey fight. Oh, you guys in order turkey fight It is okay, and then his uncle takes their pants off and puts olive oil and flour on their cocks

And then they have a turkey fight to see who can knock the flower off each other's eyes. I love your non-slush explanation. It's so fucking stupid. My uncle molested me. Like it's a fucking 15 minute bit on my uncle molester. It's not fun. And it's also not real. It's not real. Yeah.

It's all they made up. And you know, they're playing their parts. So this show goes from just regular conversation to predetermined bit back to regular conversation. So this is a thing where Brian's down this gag. He's like, well wait a second. That seems weird. No, no, wasn't weird at all. My uncle was just sitting there with a blanket. Why do they have a blanket? Oh it's cool. You're like, okay, we get it. We fucking get it guys. So am I. But also meanwhile, Brian actually tells it,

and I didn't clip any of that, but Brian tells the story of actually, like his bathing suit, ripping, and his cock coming out of his bathing suit or something. Right. And that's over that. That was because that's a real story. I got it.

Because it was a genuine moment on the show, like that pertained to Cactobr and whatever. Not that it was great either, but at least it was a real story where this is completely fucking made up. Can we talk about another thing? They had a voicemail. Yeah, that's the other one here.

So this guy calls in because- This is fake. I don't care if it's fake or not. I mean, whatever. This guy calls in leaves a voicemail Because it's cocktober. He's telling a story about his cock and I don't even care about the story, but What he the word he uses infuriates me? I think I find this dude to do my 10 shit, that's my 10 to all right. Let's hear yours and then we'll hear mine. All right

10 shit that's my 10 to all right. Let's let's hear yours and then we'll hear mine all right calling October Anywho also really a mebarator any who any who I love your guys to show and Yeah, holy shit, so this is crazy because you had three different clips in there Yeah, listen to mine. I swear to God these are fucking identical on no one else is gonna care about this Holy shit. And he is. And this is crazy because you had three different clips in there. Yeah. Listen to mine. I swear to God these are fucking identical.

I know what else is going to care about this. I'm turning into E-Hap. But this is amazing. Listen to what I put together. For Cox, tober. Uh uh. Anywho is also really inebriated. Anywho.

I hope life is handed or a better hand than it did that day any who I love it I just show and uh yeah fuck that guy bye alright any who is the stupid story you can possibly use is not what it is and this guy called in he's like I'm from such and such podcast right they're friends I guarantee that podcast socks yeah we're gonna ask why we gotta find that. What that guy was gonna have time. That's gotta be the next podcast. I don't have time for that shit, though.

No, the next time I'm on, we're doing that one. All right, fine, fair enough. But anyway, I put my title for that was, I kinda hate this guy. Oh, I definitely hate this guy. Then my 11 is, I kinda like this guy. All right. She looks up at me and

Has that beautiful fucking look on her face like you know? I fucking hate my father, you know that look So I kind of thought that was funny I was a redeeming yeah, he like the very little made up for some of the any who his story is about Hoking up with his drunk chick who then vamits all over his junk Which actually reminded me of the South Park that was out last week. I don't know if you caught the episode with Chuckie cheese. Yeah, anyway Shit, but the ride with us I hate voicemail. All right. Does anyone is there anything worse than when someone calls you You don't answer the phone and then you see you have one new voice man like fuck. Yeah, it's my mom usually

I will call you back. I saw him you call right. I know my brothers in the hospital Whatever text me. Right just text it. I'll get to it tomorrow I don't I don't want to sit there. Why is it so difficult? I don't even know why this is I hate Leslie device mouse. Yeah, it shouldn't exist It shouldn't even exist and then these assholes played on the show and don't even fucking edit it down No, and this actually leads to a clip that I have on here that I just call bullshit on well We do put some time and effort into this. I see zero evidence of that. I see zero evidence of time and or effort. He was fucking assholes wrote down. I'm gonna tell the story about how my uncle was in me.

And that'll be a thing. And then I'll talk about wanting a pussy and that'll be a fucking awesome name. And up my back. Oh, shit. God, so my number 15. Yes. This disturbed me slightly.

Okay. Yeah, kids. I'm raising kids This is the man play 14 this is the man raising kids he never really said whether or not he knotted Put you over the tip to Not again with that like I'm gonna over pronounce this word that you're supposed to lose your shit over All right, so Joe I Anyway, I just leave you those at my son board That was over a few weeks ago

When we did a show where they just cracked up with each other quite a bit I think it was a god awful move Jesus some podcast Jesus Then she makes a lot of stuff Again, I don't put this in post people I am on the fly drop guy Both in my high school as most likely to hit drops on the fly. Boated best podcaster by no website. Uh, ever. Fuck off. All right, can we talk about this other part

that was extremely disturbing? Ugh, they've been through a YouTube video about a miscarriage. Remember this part? Do you have any clips on it? I do. I left everything out about this story except for the one part that I did actually laugh at.

Okay. I'll let you explain it for a second. You explain it for a while. Yeah, if we have, if we must, we don't have to do anything. We're adults. Speaking of which, these guys are 32 years old. They mentioned that at one point.

They're such a humor and the way they build a show, 32 is the new 14. 14, right? How did this happen? Yeah, I don't know. I think are people getting dumber? Yeah, for sure. Is it kidding?

I think they've always been pretty dumb. All right, that's possible. Like we get into this whole thing where like everybody's like shitting on millennials or they're shitting out. The kids in general are just fucking stupid. And I don't know if the ratio changes. There's more millennials, so it seems like more people are stupid.

That's why. I will say this. I mean, I've sat on the show before. I listened to Adam Corolla. I actually listened to a lot less since we should have about our podcast. That's like, oh, yeah, why do I waste my time with this? But anyway, right? Adam Corolla always says, when you're a kid, did you ever think that adults with this fucking dumb? That you would grow up into a world where just everyone's a moron.

You thought the adults were intelligent. They had all this experience and knowledge. They're fucking idiots. This guy's raising children. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm getting way off topic here. I feel like I'm fucking e-hap. What is going on?

So they have this YouTube video they decided to play. And the video, let me just break it down. This can't possibly be a true story. This guy hooks up with this chick who is pregnant and needs a ride to the abortion clinic, but before he drives her there, he goes down on her and it's not good. And then she goes to the clinic and then she comes out and says she had a miscarriage and he's like, oh, I ate her baby. It's a long, drawn out story.

That's the gist of it, okay, which doesn't seem like it's possibly realistic. I think they said this isn't Detroit. It's the only part that's left out of my clip 16, which I thought was the only good part of this story. Super bleak, like just like the perfect day for an abortion, it was brimmy as goddamn, strip mall, the fuck up concrete, right next to a subway. You know what I'm like, it's just like,

oh, really? That's the guy telling the story. And that guy's white, by the way, it is, which is bizarre, it's hard to imagine. Anyway, so they play this, this whole thing that's just disturbing and awkward and awful in every single way. And then this is what they come back to. All right, well, well, first off, I just want to thank the Patreon sponsors that we had before that clip. Thanks, guys. You know, uh, all right. So his two Patreon sponsors are going to stop supporting the show. Right. Because of this video, not because of their terrible podcast, not because of the awful content, the lack of jokes, the boringness of every subject

they bring up, the fact that they don't even know what they're fucking talking about. No, they're gonna stop doing it because of this YouTube video that they just played. Yeah. These guys are fucking missing the problem here. Based on Emily being on your show last year or last time, last week week and how nice she was.

I don't think she's, this is you felt like like the guy who was going down on a girl before her voice. Can't that quite. All right, I just have like one more clip that I want to play where this guy talks about, you know, if I don't care about your dream, I don't really don't care when you went through puberty. It would be different. 14 to start growing dick and balls hair, but that's not my cocktail,

Cocktober story. Easy for you to say. Yeah. I think it is. I don't know why I would care when this guy got cock and ball hair. This is the thing that Kevin and I used to talk about this all the time on the show.

We first started WATP. The main gripe was everyone thinks they're Howard Stern. You think that you've created this world where people care about your personal life and your friends and all the characters on your show. There are some shows that achieve that. Don't get me wrong. It happens. For the most part, these podcasts, no one gives a shit about you or what's going on in your life,

which is why we don't talk about that kind of stuff. We don't think that we're interesting people, we don't think we're celebrities, we know no one cares. We just get right to the shitting on other people's part and don't even deal with the fucking, do I tell you what I went through puberty? Do I tell you what my dream last night? Shut the fuck up!

What did I say? I think at one point they talk about how they're they're close to 200 episodes 40 I know We're near 200 We're gonna get the 200 like slow down slow your roll. I thought they've done 200 episodes and all they have left to talk about is when he got his pews. Geez. The fuck.

For some reason in the very middle of the show, they decided to just play like a rock song. They play the entire song. Yeah. And it is, maybe I'm not keeping up, it sounds to me like pro-wrestler music. I don't know if you know this band. Let me just play a quick clip from that It's a show it's a song called blow but he keeps saying blow those fucking words out the back of your head Yeah, that's not a tough thing to say You can't scream it into a microphone with like guitar squeals going up behind you

and sound like a tough guy. So it's what a Treyu, right? I think he said. Do you know that band? I heard you know I'll get a Treyu back in 1999 maybe. Okay. I think. They've been around for a while. That song sounds to me like, and maybe I'm not's on they've been around for a while that song sounds to me like and maybe I'm

not keeping up on things you know how 90s is back in style now everyone's dressing like they did in the 90s yeah for some reason that song sounds like an 80s song to me it sounds like still panthering but these guys are doing it for fucking real. They're just like guitar solos and squeals. Yeah. This guy's screaming about nonsense. Uh-uh. And then they really pumped up about that. I didn't hate it.

But I thought it was an odd. I think I actually paused the podcast at that, like right before that started. And when I restarted it again, it went right into that song. I'm like, what the fuck happened? Like all of a sudden, there's just a song play. I had no idea what the fuck was going on because they just inserted that like a break. Yeah, but what's a whole song in one of their podcasts unless it's the isotopes. The isotopes, Sackam. Brand new album, the isotopes play surf music,

a well-blown Spotify and everywhere you get wonderful music. Yeah, I think they're just trying to eat up some time so they could make it to an hour long. That's an interesting point. I didn't bring this up yet, but their shows are an hour long and I think they even speak to that. And I do not understand for the life of me why anyone thinks their podcast needs to be a certain life.

Well, I think, because I don't, I listen to the Tellum Steve Dave and they get into, they hate doing the commercial reads. Right. And something, there's some type of thing, I think there has to be 12 minutes between reads or something like that. There's some type of standard or technical thing where they space out the commercials or something.

Like they've tacked on time at the end of episodes on purpose because of some, I don't know who makes up these fucking rules. Joe, you might be right. I am, I don't know. Digital advertising is my business. I've never heard of such a thing. I've never heard of it either. I mean, that's true.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. But these guys only have one sponsor. Right. It's just Gamefly. There's no reason why they have to be an hour long. No. They do the Gamefly rate at the beginning. And then at the very fucking end of the show,

they do an outtake reel, like a blooper reel. I didn't even clip it. Did I didn't even hear that? You didn't notice that? No, no. And they're like, give, like, Turkey fight. And they're just giggling to each other. I was a test preferred to be over.

So the second I thought it was done, I turned it off. Oh, I tell me about it So it's a very and they think that this is like some kind of fucking Adam Sandler movie from the 90s And I'm just gonna be like look at all these hilarious times that we fucked up takes the whole show as you fucking up What are we talking about you guys think that like it's hilarious that you weren't very good? All right, so Joe, any other clips you want to play anything else you want to talk about as far as Ehap goes? I don't have anything to talk about. We've been particularly brutal.

Ehap. I'm guys who were nice enough to reach out to us. I've tried to pepper it in. I've tried to pepper in some of the positivity. I appreciate. They're the same guys, right? Yeah. Canadians just see my 90 points. I think they're on people. I think I think they're on the right track. Like

they're on the right track. Joe is at his third podcast. He's talking to guys who've been hosting 140 shows. He's like, you guys will figure it out. Right. They're not a hundred and forty episodes. They still haven't figured it out. And I don't know. I just hold on. I would just say I don't know, I just hope I would just say I don't love it. I don't know who wants to hear about installed pussies or Stick with the fucking Bitcoin shit. I more interested in that. I'm gonna show how's reached a new low It's I only want to hear them talk about Bitcoin and about how we predicted it was gonna be a failure Yeah, that to me is not interesting. Mm-hmm, but I respect I respect them reaching out to you I respect I respect that though I think you. I respect the...

I think it was clear that they do it because they like doing it, and you can't show somebody. You think that they do this hobby because they enjoy it? Joe, I have it to be a hobbyist. I have a lot of hobbies. Do you think there's a hobby I do that I'm like, fuck, I got to band practice and play rock songs? God damn it! Life is too short for this not But they don't how hobbies why don't care who's listening? They don't yeah, obviously

I think I would say that they hate the people who are listening And they want to punish them over and over All right, let's move on you have Thanks again for reaching out. We enjoyed shooting on your show. Keep up the shit work. Keep up the shit work. And I hope that you guys double the number of Patreon supporters that you have. And you start making as much as $8 a month.

It won't be me. It will not be anyone who was a WATP. I can tell you that. Not me, Joe, or my stepmother. All right, what else do we got? So, Carl, one of the running gigs on your show is how the name Carl is usually a punchline for assholes. Yeah, it's just the same reason.

The assholes of the world. If the punchline is, oh, that's just Carl. Everyone's like, ah, what a fucking dummy. I don't know where this came from, but it's been all over the place for the past two years. So you saw another couple. I think I sent you all my clips on Thursday. Yeah.

And then on Friday, I ran across this. I didn't listen to it. This is, this is Harman Town, Dan Harman. Yeah, yeah. Anybody who wants to listen to Good Podcasts, I've mentioned two here, town of Dan Harmon. Yeah, yeah, man. Anybody who wants to listen to Good Podcasts, I've mentioned two here, just had to tell him Steve Dave and Harmon Town.

But so Dan Harmon brought you up in a clip. As he does. And that is where humans started fucking up because we had nailed it. And then one was like, what if a spaceship? And they were like, you're great, Carl. But we, but Carl but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but Myers with a joke that was similar. It's like yeah, you know herpes is around and it's all thanks to Carl And everyone's like laughing. How was that a fucking punchline was the joke? I

Don't get it. It's the car in the case to the crusty the clown bit. It is the That's not good So all right, Joe We've had a lot of fun. We've talked about e-hap. We read how animals to goose around. Remember that part of the show? Yeah, hilarious. We talked about turkey fighting.

Gens. We talked about gens. Yeah, putting alboh on the gens. All purpose. All purpose flour, whatever that was. We talked about, I mean, we covered a lot of topics. Well, as we talked about, we talked about miscarriages. We talked about blowing fucking words

out the back of your head. I mean, we covered it off. And so that means that we're at a point in the show that everybody loves. Voters. Voters. Voters. Voters.

Voters. Voters. Voters. Voters. Voters. Voters. That's right, Joe. It's everyone's favorite part of the show. It's the teaser. Are you familiar with the teaser? Is this the part where you brag to me about how you do this every week? And I'm only here for one part, one time. Yes. That's exactly right. This guy gets it. I like that. This is the part of the show Where we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing next week and The thing that's important about this show that maybe you don't understand is that life exists beyond Joe

Mm-hmm. I don't understand. There's more than happens even when you're not around There's things that happen and life goes on and I'm not gonna get it. Yeah. This is what you're not around. There's things that happen and life goes on. I'm not gonna get it. Yeah This is what you're not. This is what's not working here is you're not understanding that WATP exists because podcast are terrible. Oh, I get that. Okay, good. All right. You get that So the reason that WATP exists and the reason why it even came about is because there are thousands of podcasts and they're mostly garbage. You don't say. And what we like to do is we like to talk about a podcast every episode.

And then at the end of that episode, talk about the podcast we'll be talking about next episode. It's kind of like the movie never ending story except for good. You know, just keep going. I think it's like Groundhog Day where we do this now and then tomorrow we do it again. And I just keep getting a chance to be better at it. It's like Groundhog Day except for bad.

Okay, that makes sense. So here we go, I'm gonna play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing next week right here on WATP. And this is gonna get people very excited. They're gonna be reviewing next week right here on WATP and this is gonna get people very excited. They're gonna be anticipating next week's episode like, shit, when does that come out? What, I gotta wait a week? Yeah.

You gotta wait, that's how that works. We put a show out every week. You gotta wait a week. And then my favorite part is that it just shows up on my phone. Because you subscribe. Because I subscribe. I love that. That's my favorite part.

Everyone should be like Joe. Subscribe to WATP and then come and co-host every now and then. Mm-hmm. Uh, so anyway, here is the clip that will be That's blah blah blah blah. Cheer up, Davy. You'll make your way into basketball again sooner or later Why don't you call up our pal Donald Sterling and see if there's any open roster spots on the Clippers? No, Donald Sterling's been sent away to the Strombthurmond Rehabilitation Center for wealthy whoopsadaisies. Well, why don't you try coaching or managing?

Baldr dash chuck? I don't want to manage, I want to play. Who am I kidding? I'm past my prime. My scoring record at MIT is as good as gone. That's the sound of a Koch Brothers solid gold fact. Each time you hear it, you'll know you heard an actual 100% true fact. All right, this podcast is called The Koch Brothers Mystery Show.

I'm so glad that I'm not doing this fucking show. This is episode three, the eccentric ejection of CD-ROM. And this was a suggestion that came in from a listener, Andrew Murphy. He was curious what we'll say about it. So here is a scripted podcast that rips on the infamous Koch brothers. Oh.

It's very politically slanted. I didn't know I understood the concept there, but I didn't. Right. It's a f**k, okay. So, you know, similar to like the Mike Tyson mystery cartoon series. Yeah, not familiar with it. I think it's similar to that.

It's very tongue-in-cheek. It's about a real real people, the Koch brothers. And it's, you know, I'm familiar with the Koch brothers are. They're all rich motherfuckers. Yeah, they're billionaires. They spend all their money supporting the GOP. Correct. Yeah.

Exactly. So the Koch Brothers Mystery Show podcast is this scripted show that this person who wrote in was very excited about. He seemed to feel like this was a, oh, you're just shaking your head. I'm really going to do with this for the listener at home. I have my head in my hands and I'm shaking my head. Oh, I think this is gonna be fun. This is a very different style of show.

Remember on eHap where I was praising them for their production value? And this looks like it's all they're doing. And I don't know. It's a whole lot, good luck, girl. It's a good show, you think it's a holy production? Maybe they actually write a story, I don't know. I was doing that.

I wasn't impressed with what I just fucking heard. So, all right, well, I guess I'll be the sole host of WATP next week. I'm debating myself on a day and doing this again. Yeah, let's just do e-hap for the rest of WATP. Until we get to do it in episodes, can we review e-hap? Again, of WATP. Until we get to do it in episodes, can we review e-hap? Again, 200 episodes faster than they get to 200 episodes.

That would be interesting. That would be good. But they're doing three or four a week. It sounds like she's doing the market. She's not thinking the market. I don't have time. No. They actually have a show that was a couple of weeks ago.

The title of their podcast was People Saying Things for an Hour. That's a perfect description of the e perfect description that's that's podcast. That's impressive people saying things for an hour That's exactly what you're showing that title. That's my title. They had some good shit I'll give him credit for that. That was that was crazy So anyway despite Joe shitty all over our teaser. It's gonna be an awesome episode And we hope that you join us again next week Because it might be the episode we find out once and for all who are these podcasts sleep well every pony Das passt nicht, wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier.

Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier.

Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Wir sind hier. Who gets a shit, who gets a pot? You know, who are these? Podcasts. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.