Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 10 - Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke
Episode Date: November 14, 2022Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. The tenth episode features returning guests, Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke!Check out Matt's stan...d up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt, Jess and Dave's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the
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all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com.
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Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.
Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart and this week I'm joined by comedians and friends,
Jess Perkins and Dave Warnke.
Yes, Dave and I are friends.
Hello, it's confirmed. We shake hands a lot.
First time listeners might be wondering what this show is and how does it work?
Well, it's pretty simple really.
Who are you and what are you doing in my house?
So I ask a relatively obscure trivia question
and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.
I then read their answers as well as the real one
and they have to guess which one is correct.
Okay.
Okay.
Are we ready to play?
Yes.
Super ready.
Question number one.
Okay.
What does Spanghu mean spanghu what does spanghu mean
spanghu what does spanghu mean uh this question comes from listener millie grieve putland and to
help me understand how to say the name millie put in brackets like sad mini golf grieve putland
which was very helpful actually. Thank
you so much. And Millie is from Thornbury in Melbourne. While they're writing their answers,
I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other
contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing
as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question, often with the help of the question writers,
and I get a point for each of those that our guests choose.
So each of us can score up to two points per round.
It seems pretty fair, but apparently the probability favours me,
the house, and the house always wins.
If you've listened to previous episodes, of course,
you'll know this is not always the case.
Thank goodness, because we are starting a revolution, aren't we, just against the house.
We're bringing it down to its knees.
Fuck you, house, we say.
Oh, my God.
And then we are setting fire to the house.
We're looting it.
I've just made Dave and I matching T-shirts.
It says, fuck you, house.
Yeah, I love wearing mine.
Out and about.
I love wearing it to the market.
Mine says, fuck you, house.
And Dave says, no, fuck you.
Assuming the house says, fuck you.
Yeah, that's right.
People on the street.
Are we swearing on this?
People on the street get offended
because they just see me wearing a shirt
that says, no, fuck you.
Yeah, but I said, put a jacket on.
Most people don't swear on this,
but you two certainly do.
Gosh, I hope he has to beep them.
That's the extra work for the house.
Does the house edit this?
The house does edit this.
Yeah, great.
Keep swearing, Jess. dave's answer is in i should say also our questions come from our great patreon supporters
if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod
which is linked in the show notes i think jess is uh like writing a tome over there
what's a tome? A long book.
I don't know what that is because I'm not a nerd.
Question two, what is a tome?
I've got mine in, so shut up, nerd.
Well done, nerd.
Takes one to know one.
No, fuck you.
That's my shirt.
I can't believe this alliance is already falling apart.
I know.
This happens a lot when rivals come together to take out an enemy.
We're incredibly weak.
Very vain people.
Very vain people.
But we're also incredibly good looking.
Is that too?
Yes.
God, we're hot.
Oh, my God.
What a great combo.
We're hot and we know it.
Exactly.
We're not losing our looks.
We're gaining our looks.
All right.
All the answers are in.
So here is question number one.
What does Spanghu mean?
Here are your options.
The bait used on a mousetrap.
A hybrid language combining words and idioms from both Spanish and Hebrew.
That's good.
The result of the first voice-to-text transcription of a sneeze.
To throw violently into the air, especially a frog from the end of a stick.
Spank.
Or a tool attached to a horse's saddle,
usually used to hold the reins in place
when the rider needs their hands to be free
or if they disembark the horse.
Disembarking a horse.
I know.
You don't often get an or in the dictionary, do you?
Can we have those again?
So you've got the bait used on a mousetrap.
A hybrid language combining words and idioms from both Spanish and Hebrew.
It's an interesting combo.
The result of the first voice to text transcription of a sneeze.
That's pretty funny.
To throw violently into the air, especially a frog from the end of a stick.
Is it like a verb?
Like are you...
Spang-hewing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
A frog on a stick.
Is the frog hanging on for dear life or have you stabbed the frog?
I don't think you've stabbed it.
I think you're like, it's your favourite stick
and you're just walking around with your favourite stick.
You look down, there's a frog on it and you're like, ah!
Spang-hew!
And you give it a flick. You spang-hew it. You give it a flick you spank you you get a spank you yeah sure no
frogs are injured sometimes you know english has come up with some pretty specific words
well finally a tool attached to a horse's saddle usually used to hold the reins in place when the
rider needs their hands to be free or if they disembark the horse all right dave what are you
thinking chuck is the spang you trying to use in a sentence yeah oh no that was a spang you voice or if they disembark the horse. All right, Dave, what are you thinking? Chuck, it's the Spanhew.
Trying to use it in a sentence.
Yeah.
Oh, no, that was a Spanhew.
Voice to text, Spanhew.
Spanish and Hebrew, very clever, but I'm not sure.
I'm looking at that, the way it's spelled, S-P-A-N-G-H-E-W.
Where's the G coming from there?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Spanhew, Spanish, Hebrew.
Yeah, Spanglish.
Yeah. The G is from the English, I guess. Yeah, you're right, you, yeah. Spank you, Spanish Hebrew. Yeah, Spanglish. Yeah.
The G's from the English, I guess.
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
But maybe it evolved after that.
It's an homage to Spanglish.
It's nice.
The horse one is quite long, but I can also see.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm wondering why is it like that?
But I am also thinking that, you know,
that seems the most legit use
of the word spanking.
I can see that being a thing.
On a horse's saddle.
Yeah.
Unless you're in that world, you don't know what each
particular piece is called.
And then what were the other ones?
Mousetrap?
I think it's mousetrap.
Hybrid language.
No.
Sneeze.
Voice detect.
Fuck, I want it to be that one.
Throwing violently into the air or the horse's saddle tool.
I'm going to go with the horse.
Horse for Dave.
JP.
I don't think any.
I'm going to go the sneeze one.
Sneeze one for Bop.
That's great wishful thinking because we all want it.
I think that's pretty funny.
And it feels like one of those things you'd read like on a little fun fact or something.
I'm trying to think how I'd sneeze.
I'm more of a chuff, I think.
I'm a real achoo. Trying to think how I'd sneeze. I'm more of a chuff, I think.
I'm a real achoo.
Spanhew.
Spanhew.
I'm a real Spanhewer.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
The bait used on a mousetrap, that was Dave Warnicky.
That was me.
It's a Spanhee.
I imagine what a Spanhee you make me think of,
it made me think of a mousetrap.
Yeah.
The combined language of Spanish and Hebrew. That was The House.
That's a good one.
It's really good.
Very believable.
It nearly had me until Dave dissected it a little bit.
That was, yeah, these ones were from Millie, the question writer.
Excellent work, Millie.
Really good.
She also wrote the result of the first voice-to-text transcription of a snail.
Well done.
That is very funny.
We'll never trust you again, Millie, but well done.
The tool attached to the horse's saddle. That is very funny. We'll never trust you again, Millie. But well done. The tool attached to the horse's saddle.
That was bop.
No way.
Meaning the correct answer is to throw violently into the air,
especially a frog from the end of a stick.
What do you mean especially?
What is that?
Why is that needed?
Yeah.
I'll talk about it in a second.
But, yeah, it's a very specific word.
Isn't it wild that that was that
happened enough that there was a word that felt the least likely to me yeah yeah i think it was
because it was so specific as in like particularly a frog and you're like what the fuck that's good
quick score check dave zero points jess in the house on one point. All right, here we go to question number two. This one comes
from Emmy White from the Lost Colony of Roanoke. Oh, my goodness. And the question is, Dwayne Hanson
broke what world record on his 60th birthday? Dwayne Hanson broke what world record on his 60th
birthday? While you're writing your answers, here is some more information on the word Spanghu.
According to Concerning Writing, a blog,
there is a paragraph in the 1846 book called A Glossary of North Country Words
with their etymology and affinity to other languages
and occasional notices of local customs and popular superstitions, volume two.
Every librarian hates that book.
Yeah.
Too long.
What are you doing?
It was written by John Trotter Brockett and William Edward Brockett.
Okay.
In this book, there's a paragraph about how one goes about spanghewing.
Apparently, a person would place a long wooden board on a stepping stone,
place the frog or toad on one end of the board,
and then with a club, strike the free end of the board,
sending the creature flying through the air to its doom.
Sorry, I'm over here.
To its doom, so you are expecting it to die.
Yeah, and it just seems like it was, for some point in time,
it was a bit of a fad.
I can't believe, yes, Spanghu.
I'm going to try and use that in my everyday.
If that comes up in your word of the day dictionary,
you have to try and use that.
Spanghu.
All right, here is question number two.
All right, so here is question number two.
Dwayne Hanson broke what world record on his 60th birthday?
Here are your five options.
The oldest person to run 100 meters in under 12 seconds.
He smelled 80 cents in a minute.
That's more than a cent per second.
He what?
Smelled 80 cents in a minute.
That's more than one cent per second.
Sitting on a photocopier printing nonstop copies of his ass for 24 hours straight.
The longest journey by pumpkin boat or the longest fart underwater.
I think I could go for the record of sitting on a photocopier because like, sure, your
ass is occupied, but you could still be snacking reading playing video
games i guess you'd have to have a team filling the paper i'm also just realizing how do you
piss or shit yeah piss or shit and i mean you could but you would just get copies of it
everyone would can you so could you sit anywhere for 24 hours straight let alone on a glass
photocopy that would not be comfortable no you're right look I'm not saying that Dwayne can't do it I'm just saying you can't do it the biggest issue I found was the filling the paper but you're right
the other things are what the scent one I got I misunderstood you know I thought
of the wrong scent at first me too you meant like dollars and cents but you meant
also like oh yeah different how do you measure how many scents somebody smells
mmm like unless they're yelling it out like coffee beans.
Coffee beans.
Coffee beans, feet.
All you have to say what it is, feet.
Because you can't do that.
Daffodils.
Microphone.
An 80 in a minute, that would be, I mean, just to say 80 words in a minute.
Can't say 80 words in a minute.
What if they were all different types of poo and you said poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, Is that what Dwayne Hanson did? Can we hear them all again, please? Oldest person to run 100 metres in under 12 seconds.
12 seconds is quick.
That's quick.
Smelt 80 cents in a minute.
But also like an 80-year-old probably couldn't do it that fast.
So I understand a 60-year-old might be the oldest to still be able to do it.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
But there are some pretty fit older people.
Yeah, but sub 12?
Sub 12 is really, really quick.
80 cents in a minute.
Yeah, that's more than one cent per second.
Yeah.
Sitting on a photocopier printing nonstop copies of his ass
for 24 hours straight.
That's so many pages.
Longest journey by pumpkin boat or longest fart underwater?
I wonder if that's longest in time or distance.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
That makes you think.
What are you thinking, boss?
They're either from our, you know,
our run-ins with Guinness Book of World Records,
it's either something kind of bland or really specific and strange,
which all of these fall into.
I don't think it's the sense one, mostly because I didn't understand it.
But maybe if you saw that written down in the Guinness Book of Records,
you'd probably understand it more, wouldn't you?
Maybe, yeah.
And they'd probably have some follow-up information.
And, like, the running 100 metres is believable, but, again, a bit bland.
But some of them are bland.
And what was the pumpkin boat?
Longest journey by pumpkin boat.
Or longest fart underwater or the photocopy one.
Maybe a pumpkin boat.
Pumpkin boat for Bob.
Any thoughts here, Dave?
I'm also tempted by a pumpkin boat, I must admit.
Between that, I want the photocopy to be real.
And then I imagine he sold them all to charity.
Framed.
Signed them all, signed and framed.
Put a little smiley face on them.
That's a Dwayne Hanson original.
Happy 60th birthday.
I think pumpkin boat.
That sounds like something that would be in the Guinness Book of Records.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Pumpkin boat?
Can't go wrong with a pumpkin boat.
That was my gut feeling.
The other ones, they never quite grabbed me.
Okay.
Let's go through.
Okay, a bit brutal.
I wrote one of them.
Who wrote them down?
Did you write the pumpkin bird?
They were all very boring and dull.
Oldest person to run 100 metres in under 12 seconds.
That was Jess Perkins.
Oh, okay.
You really talked the logic up of that one.
That's definitely believable because an 80-year-old can do that.
Well, you started to talk about it, so I thought, well, if I can help him choose it.
That's all part of the game, Dave.
Don't shame.
Don't game shame.
Yeah, that's part. I'm trash talking my opponent. Part of the game. You trying to game shame
me? Well I'll game shame the game show host.
Smelled 80 cents in a minute.
That was the house. Can the house explain
themselves? No I mean I try and have
one that's stupid in each one.
That's more than one cent. Normally these world record ones
I try to put one in that
is basically nonsensical.
And I just think, you know, if they can't crack the code here,
that's on them.
Yeah.
Sitting on the photocopier printing nonstop copies of his ass.
That was also the house.
I'd love to know if that is a real record though,
because that's awesome.
Longest fart underwater was Dave Warnocki,
meaning the correct answer was longest journey Journey by Pumpkin Boat.
Yes, no points for the house. Well done, Jess.
One point to both Jess and Dave.
Yes, take that house.
You dumb shit. The scores.
Hey, house. Yes. Fuck you.
I think that's fair enough.
I think that's very... Yes.
I think that's right on, man.
Are you a house or are you a shit house?
Got him. Got him.
Got him.
Sucked in shithouse.
Score update after two rounds.
The house on one point, Dave on one point,
but out in front on two points is Jess Perkins.
Yes.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
All right.
I'm interested to hear the details of Dwayne Hanson's pumpkin boat record.
So we're up to question number three this one was written by steve
kaiser rhymes with laser steve kaiser from sydney ohio god's country itself and the question is
what was the nickname of early 1900s baseball and basketball legend cumberland posey jr
wow and he's a baseball and basketball legend that's great yeah cumberland Posey Jr. Wow. And he's a baseball and basketball legend.
That's great.
Yeah.
Cumberland Posey Jr.
Yeah, I think especially known for his baseball,
but was also a very, very good basketball,
played professional basketball as well.
All right.
My answer is in.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Okay.
While you're writing your answers,
I'll let audiences know a little bit more about this pumpkin record.
Reporting for newsforjacks.com, reporter Carrie-Anne Luter wrote,
a man in Nebraska just broke a Guinness World Record
by rowing himself down the Missouri River in a hollowed-out pumpkin.
It's huge.
The photos of it are fantastic.
Wow.
Dwayne Hanson paddled 38 miles in his pumpkin on Saturday to celebrate his
60th birthday.
How far?
38 miles.
That's too far.
Too far on a pumpkin.
Oh, my God.
I thought it was going to be like 100 metres.
Surely it would only have to be 100 metres to beat the record.
Yeah.
Well, now you have to paddle 39 miles, I guess.
I couldn't do that in a regular boat with an engine.
He set out from the city of Bellevue at 7.30am
and arrived in Nebraska City about 11 hours later.
The makeshift vessel had the name SS Berta written on the back
and a cup holder carved into the hull.
The previous Guinness World Record for the longest journey by pumpkin boat
was set in 2018 when a man paddled 25 and a half miles.
So he smashed the record.
Wow.
Okay, so it was a legit record.
Yeah.
Bertha the pumpkin weighed 846 pounds.
Okay, I'm looking at an image of it now.
It's big, but like it doesn't look comfortable to be in.
No, not at all.
That's a big-ass pumpkin.
That is truly incredible, 11 hours.
All right, your answers are in.
So question number three, what was the nickname of early 1900s baseball
and basketball legend Cumberland Posey Jr.?
You have five options.
They are flower power.
Early 1900s.
Cum.
The human wardrobe.
Kiwi Poju.
Or Cum Lord Jr.
Can I have those again, please?
Flower power.
Yep.
Because Posey.
Cum, because his name's Cumberland.
How is cum spelled?
C-U-M.
And back in the day, that probably didn't mean cum.
It just meant Cumberland.
It's just a short thing. If you said cum back then, it meant this guy.
Exactly.
The human wardrobe.
Is cumming named after this guy?
Possibly.
Kiwi Pogu or Cumlord Jr.
So we've got some fantastic options there.
Jess, what are you thinking?
I'm thinking Cum or The Human Wardrobe.
I'm going to go The Human Wardrobe.
The Human Wardrobe for Bob.
Fantastic selection.
I'm looking at the name written down, Cumberland Poser Jr.
Kiwi Pouju.
Kiwi Pouju, yeah.
Kiwi Pouju.
The other options are Cum come lord junior the human
wardrobe or flower power flower power obviously all fantastic options I love them all I think
flower power yeah I'm gonna go with flower because of the posy I'm now thinking human
wardrobe could be the one that Dave wrote but we'll soon find out you could have written flower
power too though you did get yours in so quick I I'm like, come, that's only three letters.
How do you?
So you're happy with your answers?
Yep.
Locked in?
Yep, locked in, locked and loaded.
Lock them in.
Much like Cumberland Posey Jr.
Okay.
Cumblord Jr.
That was Jess Perkins.
Oh, you typed quick.
Cumblord.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's funny.
Cooey Poju.
That was the house. The house. It's's funny. Kui Pouju. That was the house.
The house.
It's good, though.
Kui Pouju.
Flower Power, also the house.
Boo.
Oh, my God.
The human wardrobe was Dave Warnicke.
I knew it.
Meaning the real name was come.
So that means, I believe, one point for the house
and one point for Dave Warnicke.
Well done, Dave.
You got me. Which means after three rounds, one point for the house and one point for Dave Warnicke. Well done, Dave. You got me.
Which means after three rounds, the scores are tied at two apiece.
Wow.
Three-way tie.
I love that.
This is a hot game.
Come.
Sorry.
Just wanted to have a go.
All right.
Now it is time for question number four.
This one comes from David Loring.
Sorry, David Loring.
He's written in...
Everyone's helped me out with their names today.
Rhymes with boring,
which is excellent for cruel childhood taunts.
Oh, no.
David Loring is from Hobart, Tasmania,
and asks the following question.
What were the last words uttered by murderer Thomas J. Grasso
before his execution?
Oh, my God.
What were the last words uttered by Thomas J. Grasso
before his execution?
And while you're writing your answers,
here's some more information about Cum, the basketballer,
slash baseballer.
According to Penn State's Black History website,
Cumberland Cum Posey Jr. enrolled at Penn State in 1909.
He played on the freshman basketball team from 1909 to 1910,
the Varsity basketball team 1910 to 1911,
and the freshman baseball team in 1910.
He left Penn State after just two years
and joined the Monticello Athletic Association, which later became the Lowendy Big Five.
By the following year, Posey was the star player and operator, which included managing, booking and promoting of the club.
Lowendy won the Coloured Basketball World Championship four years in a row from 1920 to 1923.
Posey went on to become one of the great entrepreneurs of professional sports.
He played for and then owned the Pittsburgh-based Homestead Grays. Posey was inducted into the
Baseball Hall of Fame in 2006. Good on you come. Absolute dominator by the sounds of it. Yeah,
wow. On you come. Here is question number four. What were the last words uttered by murderer Thomas J. Grasso before his execution?
Wait, wait, wait.
I think I left the iron on.
I did not get my SpaghettiOs.
I got spaghetti.
I want the press to know this.
I'll be back and you'll be sorry.
Oh, that's spooky.
No, fuck you.
That's great.
Or got any aspirin?
I've got a killer headache.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, you've really got to get into the mind of a murderer now.
Okay.
All right.
Done.
That was very quick.
Concerningly quick.
Can we hear them one more time, please?
Wait, wait, wait.
I think I left the iron on.
I did not get my SpaghettiOs.
I got spaghetti.
I want the press to know this.
I'll be back and you'll be sorry.
That's creepy.
No, fuck you.
That's good stuff.
That's good.
Got any aspirin?
I've got a killer headache.
You go first this time, Dave.
Okay.
It's tricky.
I panicked for half a second there, Jess, when you said you go first.
I'm like, oh, which one?
Oh, boy.
I don't want to go first.
The house goes first.
I've got the ants in front of me, thank God.
Wait, wait, wait.
I've left the iron on.
That's great stuff, but would a murderer do a good bit like that?
Well, is it a good bit?
But like, you know, but a bit, you know,
like would you use your last words to be like, all right,
I'll have a bit of fun here.
Yeah.
Or the one after that is the SpaghettiOs.
Yeah.
I want the press to know.
I want the press to know.
That makes it feel real.
Then what's number three, Matt?
I'll be back and you'll be sorry.
That's good.
It's quite menacing but i
also feel like would it be remarkable enough to put on this show you know i feel like a lot of
people probably throw out a thread as they're going up there do we know how he was executed
they're going down there i'm not sure okay that's okay uh no fuck you the ultimate response you
can't they can't they've got nothing back whatever they say what can you say. No, fuck you. The ultimate response. They can't, they've got nothing back.
Whatever they say.
What can you say?
I repeat, no, fuck you.
There's no rebuttal to that.
And then him going for a joke.
Again, I feel like I want him to go for a joke.
First one or the fifth one.
Yeah, that's sort of what I was thinking too.
But then SpaghettiOs is funny, but you're not laughing with him, are you?
But also it's like the pettiness of it kind of suits a murderer, you know?
Yeah.
He's not even worried that he's about to die.
He's just like, I want the press to know that I was wronged.
I want a Spaghetti-O's, but I got spaghetti.
Yeah.
I want the press to know.
I like that one.
I'm going to go with spaghetti.
Good choice.
Spaghetti-O for Dave.
Is it because it's you?
Yeah. I'd change your answer if I were you. Hang on'm gonna go with spaghetti. Good choice. Spaghetti-o for Dave. Is it because it's you? Yeah.
I'd change your answer if I were you.
Hang on, can I?
No, I'm just trying to get a no fuck you.
I would change it to no fuck you.
That one to me sounds the most compelling.
Jess, what do you think?
Just cause that just happens
to also be one of your catchphrases.
Not mine, it's one of Dave's catchphrases.
Oh, that's one of Dave's.
Are you seeing it on the T-shirt I'm wearing right now?
Oh, that's right. Just read that out for me. Sorry, that's right. Yeah, fuck you, that's right. That is one of Dave's. That's one of Dave's. Are you seeing it on the T-shirt I'm wearing right now? Oh, that's right. Just read that out for me.
Sorry, that's right.
Yeah, fuck you.
That's right.
That is one of Dave's.
I get you too confused.
I know.
We're the same.
What are you thinking, Bob?
I think I'm going to go for, yeah, you're right, Dave.
It's like one or five.
I'm going to go for I've left the iron on.
I wanted to be that one.
Where I've left the iron on?
Yeah. Especially if they're like, you know, did I left the iron on? Yeah, it feels like.
Especially if they're like, you know,
they're pulling the noose or something like that.
If you're saying that, you're probably not getting a laugh out loud,
but people are saying, huh, he thought about that.
All right.
Imagine bombing just before you die.
That would suck actually.
It's a real risk.
That feels right.
He's a murderer.
All right.
So.
He was a bomber.
So here is who wrote the answers. Got anyin i've got a killer headache that was dave warmak that is me uh you tried to trick
me you son of a bitch no we did roll your eyes when that one was read out and i did feel a bit
offended i'm like that's pretty good i thought it was a lame joke that's pretty good that's pretty
good i was like he thought about that in his cell and thought this will be so funny.
What a fucking loser.
It's also something that I've just realized,
and I didn't think this until now,
John McClane in Die Hard 2 says it,
when he looks like he's about to get blown up
and he asks the enemy who's leaving him,
like, hey, I've had a fucking killer headache all day.
You got any aspirin?
And Jeremy Irons, the bad guy, goes,
yeah, like you're about to be blown up, whatever, and throws him some aspirin. And that becomes a key all day. You got any aspirin? And Jeremy Irons, the bad guy, goes, yeah, like you're about to be blown up, whatever,
and throws him some aspirin.
And that becomes a key plot line.
And I've only realized I've just lifted a diehard joke,
which Jess didn't even like.
No, fuck you.
That was Jess Perkins.
Can you believe?
What?
I know.
You used one of my catchphrases?
Yeah.
I'll be back and you'll be sorry.
That was the house.
That's spooky.
Yeah, the house is pretty threatening,
so I can imagine that.
Wait, wait, wait. I think I left the iron on. Also the house. That's spooky. Yeah, the house is pretty threatening so I can imagine that. Wait, wait, wait.
I think I left the iron on. Also the house.
The correct answer was I did not get my spaghetti. I got spaghetti.
I want the press to know this.
Wow. Thomas
J. Grasso. Grasso is a pretty
funny name too. Have you ever had spaghetti
O's? I don't think I have. No, I haven't.
I imagine it's like
tin spaghetti though, which I've had.
Yeah.
It's a little like tomato soup with like really soft spaghetti.
Yeah.
Soft, rubbery spaghetti.
Good in a toasty.
Let me tell you that much.
That does sound good in a toasty.
Fucking awesome.
Made for a toasty really, isn't it?
A jaffle.
A jaffle.
Oh, yeah.
So it contains it all in there.
Makes them piping hot.
I was at a gig on Monday night where there was a New Zealand comedian
who'd never heard the phrase Jaffle before.
And we all agreed that that sounded like the most New Zealand thing ever.
Totally.
I mean, they call thongs jandals.
Maybe that's what I was thinking.
We were all thinking, surely you invented the Jaffle.
You had no idea.
All right.
That means we are up to question number five.
A quick score update, of course, has Jess on two
and Dave and the house
both on three points.
That feels pretty sexist to me.
To leave the woman behind. I think the house
and Dave are being real
misogies over here.
Don't lump me in with that misogynist over there.
So this question
comes from... Let women win!
There's still three questions to go.
Okay.
This one comes from Sascha Eisenstadt of Belfast.
And the question is,
the Swedish have a very interesting tradition
when it comes to raising their kids.
What is it?
The Swedish have a very interesting tradition
when it comes to raising their kids.
What is it?
And while you're writing your answers,
here's a little bit more information on Thomas J. Grasso.
It's always a good sign.
No, I don't know if it is at that time.
That could be wrong.
So Thomas J. Grasso was a murderer,
murdered two people in two different states,
and in 1995 he was executed in oklahoma
by lethal injection this is from a website called last meals dot fandom which is pretty
wild that it exists his last meal request was two dozen steamed mussels two dozen steamed clams with
a lemon wedge a double cheeseburger from Burger King,
half a dozen barbecued spare ribs,
two strawberry milkshakes,
half a pumpkin pie with whipped cream and diced strawberries,
and a can of SpaghettiOs and meatballs served at room temperature.
Grasso asked for SpaghettiOs,
but instead of SpaghettiOs, he got Spaghetti and meatballs.
And his last words were, I did not get my SpaghettiOs.
I got spaghetti.
I want the press to know this.
He died an unhappy man.
Any ideas what you'd have in your final meal, Matt?
If I'd just killed someone.
No, just if.
If you just knew you were about to.
Yeah, yeah.
Die?
That's a tricky one.
I think a Viennetta ice cream would be involved.
Yeah.
An entire one.
That's it.
That is a sick order.
They're like, oh, anything else?
Nah.
That?
I don't even need a spoon.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Eat it with my hands.
Probably some sort of pasta meal.
Sauce with mushrooms and olives.
I mean, that's something you make quite regularly.
Yeah. Would you want it to just's something you make quite regularly. Yeah.
Would you want it to just be something you make all the time
or would you want it to be something a bit special?
I don't know.
You know, I like to think that I'm living my life.
Well, you're not.
You're about to die.
Yeah.
Yeah, but, you know, I'm just, I mean, I'm eating now as if, you know,
what I want to eat every day.
You know what I would do is I would, if I had a food allergy,
I'd just ask for that thing.
Oh, right, so you'd die with diarrhea.
Clean this up, Bill.
Is Bill the helper?
Bill's like the executioner.
Old Bill.
Executioner.
She died doing what she loved.
Shitting everywhere.
Pooping her guts out.
That's our girl.
Time into a chair.
You're going to have to get the high pressure hose for this one, Bill.
It's the same about you two when you come together.
It's always poop and stuff.
As if this show doesn't always just divulge into poop.
Divulge.
Divolve.
I said the wrong word.
Anyway, shit, shit, shit, poop and shit.
All right.
The question number five is the Swedish have a very interesting tradition
when it comes to raising their kids.
What is it?
Teaching them to ride a bike when they are one month old.
Oh, they do love a bike in Scandinavia.
They love that.
Shoes aren't worn until children's fifth birthday
when they receive a golden pear.
A little bit of snow is mixed into children's food during the winter.
For nap times, the babies are placed in their prams outside,
even in winter,
and they are not allowed to legally drink alcohol
until they have tamed their first reindeer.
They're not legally allowed to drink alcohol until they've tamed
their first reindeer.
Well, I'm going to lock that one in.
That one sounds good.
Yeah, I mean, they all sound fantastic.
None of these seem realistic though.
I was going to write one about shoes or maybe did I?
I wonder if they're golden like literally made out of gold
or just golden colour.
The snow one, was that half?
I felt like there was – that one went straight into another one.
I can't tell if they were different.
No, they were far.
Just a little bit of snow is mixed into their food.
Yeah.
I'll give you them again.
Hydration.
Option one, teaching them to ride a bike when they are one month old.
Yeah.
Number two, shoes aren't worn until a child's fifth birthday
when they receive a golden pear.
Number three, a little bit of snow is mixed into children's food
during the winter.
Number four, for nap times, the babies are placed in their prams outside
even in winter.
Or number five, they are not allowed to legally drink alcohol
until they have tamed their first reindeer.
Well, obviously, reindeer are from that part of the world.
That's right.
So I'm ruling that one in.
Taming them?
The snow one.
But they're not having snow all the year round.
So I'm thinking like is it just a little bit of snow every you know
during winter why does that make you more resistant to the snow but i suppose that's
why it could be an interesting tradition um golden pear golden pear yeah of shoes and the
what was the fourth and fifth uh nap times for nap times the babies are placing their prams outside
or they and the last one is the reindeer one.
And the first one is the bike one.
Oh, the bike one, that's right.
Well.
One month.
You can't even hold their head up.
Yes, that is.
But maybe is it that they, what's the phrasing of it,
that they ride a bike at one month?
Teaching them to ride a bike when they're one month old.
When I, because I went to neighbouring Denmark a few months ago and we had like a
walking tour guide and he said that he owned four bikes.
Right.
One,
one was like a winter bike.
One was a mountain bike.
And then he had two backup bikes.
Like they're everywhere.
And I'm thinking like,
you know,
and he said that they're a massive,
massive part of their,
their culture.
But then there's the pram one.
I was watching a show set in Denmark not that long ago
and there was a scene where a kid was outside in a pram
and it was left alone and I thought that was weird.
I don't know if it was winter, but that's coming to mind, that scene.
So I'm going to say pram.
Pram for Dave.
I'm also saying pram.
Two prams.
What's your reasoning for pram?
Saw it on TikTok.
Ah, yes. Okay, yeah. saying pram to prams what's your reasoning for pram saw it on tiktok ah yes okay yeah it's like
an american or an english person living in either denmark or sweden i thought sweden and they
commented on that even at the time so the the show's borgen and then oh yeah good good choice
in that the show's borgen borgen and one of them, this couple have a kid.
She says to her, oh, where's Gustav?
And he said, oh, he's just outside sleeping.
And I was like, sorry, what?
Yeah.
All right, let's go through the answers.
They're not legally allowed to drink alcohol until they obtain their first reindeer.
That was Jess Perkins.
Wow, you're really good at hiding your flavour.
I find my own humour delightful.
Sue me.
Teaching them to ride a bike when they are one month old.
That was The House.
Shoes aren't worn until a child's fifth birthday
when they receive a golden pair.
That was Dave Warnicke.
Literally, I was going to write something about
they're not allowed to wear shoes until.
No.
Yes, genuinely.
No, get out of my head.
And then i changed to
reindeer yeah nice i was also going to write that actually i was thinking they can't drink alcohol
until they tame a reindeer okay that's why now you're just being patronizing i genuinely was
going to write something about shoes what i don't know what you're talking about you were gonna
write you have to tame a reindeer in order to drink i'm trying to have a bit of fun somebody's
gonna be having some fun thank you jess the. The show's boring. Thanks for bringing some fun. If we're
all just sitting here going, I don't know, I think it
is. Somebody needs to be being a bit of a
dickhead. And I'm taking a bullet
for the team. Yep. And
also complaining that women aren't winning.
So, interesting.
I'm not complaining that women aren't winning. I'm being
I'm complaining that women aren't being let
win. There is a difference.
It should be, yes.
A little bit of snow is mixed into children's food during the winter.
That was the house, meaning the correct answer,
as you both seem to know, was for nap times.
The babies are placed in their prams even in the winter.
Just left outside.
What is going on?
But I also love that they trust their society so much
that they just leave them out there.
Nobody's going to take your kid.
So that means the scores after five rounds, two rounds ago,
Jess on three points, House on three points,
but out in front on four points is Dave Waterkew.
We found the misogynist, haven't we?
Oh, no, I can't win.
Correct.
I cannot win now.
Correct.
The way you want it.
That's right.
The man not winning.
Correct.
Sometimes in order to, you know, correct a problem,
you've got to overcorrect for a bit.
So you've got to let me win.
Okay.
Be a gentleman.
Let me win.
That's a great point.
Panda to me.
You're right.
All right.
That means we're up to question number six.
Second last question.
This one comes from Kerry John Jones
from Wales.
And Kerry's question is,
what controversy
did the mascots get up to
during the Swansea City
versus Millwall football match
on February 11th, 2001?
So the Millwall's mascot
is Zampa the Lion
and Swansea City's mascot
is Cyril the Swan.
Cyril the Swan and Zamper the Lion.
Jess's answer is already in.
While you're writing your answers, Dave,
here's a BBC article from 2013 talking about the Swedish pram tradition.
Daytime temperatures in winter in Stockholm
have regularly dropped to negative five degrees Celsius,
but it's still common to see children left outside by their parents for a
sleep in the pram.
I think it's good for them to be in the fresh air as soon as possible,
says Lisa Martin,
a mother of three from Stockholm,
especially in winter when there's lots of diseases going around,
the kids seem healthier.
Her children have been sleeping outside since they were born.
The youngest Alfred is two and she puts him outside in the pram to nap once a day. This isn't a recent fashion. Lisa's mother,
Ganilla, now 61, says she also did it when Lisa was just a baby. Yes, we were doing it back then
as well. It was important for her to get fresh air and stay healthy. And Lisa's father, Peter,
was put outside by his mother to sleep in a pram in the 1950s.
Only when it got to around negative 10 degrees did she bring him indoors.
The theory behind outdoor napping is that children exposed to fresh air, whether in
summer or the depths of winter, are less likely to catch coughs and colds.
Many parents also believe their children sleep better and for longer in the open.
I think it's funny because obviously it's fine and it works.
Yeah.
But I'd be scared shitless of doing that.
I mean, just sleeping outside myself for two hours in the freezing.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd wake up again.
No, not a man of your age.
But babies are resilient.
That's true.
People your age, I don't know, a draft could kill you.
Yeah, that is a very good point.
Because you're old, Matt.
Oh, sorry. Yes.
Dave, are you done?
Matt was reading that for four
hours. I was keeping, I wrote
more than I thought I needed.
I thought Dave was still going.
All right.
No, sorry, I put mine in about 15 minutes ago.
And then what were you doing?
Just answering emails or something, were you?
Yes.
All right, here is question number six.
What controversy did the Swansea City mascot, Cyril the Swan,
and Millwall mascot, Zamper the Lion,
get up to during their team's match on February 11, 2001?
Please read mine properly.
Okay.
I'll read them all properly.
No, but read mine with the intended tone.
Okay.
You'll know.
So option one, they got so drunk together before the game
that they were passed out on the sidelines by halftime.
Option two, the two mascots agreed to a choreographed fight,
but Zamp of the Lion accidentally knocked out Cyril,
who was carried off in two stretches tied together.
They were caught shagging in costume by the broadcaster's cameras.
A Millwall fan secretly got in the Zamp of the Lion costume
with the intention of fighting Cyril.
When Cyril realized what was happening,
he punched the lion's head off and drop kicked it into the crowd.
Or they fucked.
It came out we all thought they were going to fuck.
We all thought they were going to fuck.
Yeah, two of the five options are they fucked.
Just written differently.
Some better than others.
Some with a little more, I don't know.
How do you say? Je ne sais quoi? So they got drunk. Just written differently. Some better than others. Some with a little more, I don't know.
How do you say?
Je ne sais quoi?
So they got drunk.
They did a choreographed fight, but one got knocked out,
shagged and got caught on camera.
What was the fourth one?
There was an imposter lion who came out, and when the swan realized, he knocked the head off
and kicked it into the crowd.
That's pretty good.
Or they fucked.
Now, one of them getting injured, would that be controversy?
Interesting.
Know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like it might be noteworthy.
I don't know if it would be controversy.
Would people have, you know, strong opinions on it?
Yeah, if a choreographed fight went wrong yeah maybe because i do like that one or the shagging one obviously that would be really
fun what about the oh that's obviously art right there dave what do you want to talk us through
the board i'll talk us to the board so two two are fucking two are fighting one's getting drunk
yeah i'm i'm wondering do i go with that one or is it so it's like that can't be it.
Right.
It's got to be a fucking or a drinking.
Or a fighting.
Or a fighting.
Because what are the chances of them both drinking till they pass out?
Yeah.
One might pass out because they're both wasted.
I think I'm going to go for the fight and one getting knocked out.
And it's Swansea.
Two stretchers.
Yeah.
Where's Millwall? Millwall's insea. Two stretchers. Yeah. Where's Millwall?
Millwall's in London town, I think.
Okay, okay.
I think Swansea's in Wales.
That's Welsh, yeah.
I don't know.
Just pick one.
Like if you're really not sure, then they're all equally confusing.
Okay.
I mean, you can rule one out, can't you? Yeah, my own one. That's right. And you can rule one out can't you yeah my own one that's right
and you can rule out another one maybe right because it's not fucking all fighting that's
right so rule out drinking three left to fight one fucking we all want these the lion and the
swan to get together oh 100 i want it to be weging. I want to believe so badly they shagged.
Please, please tell me, Matt, that in 2001 the camera found them boning.
Okay.
Tell me, please.
All right.
If you have to, lie.
Please, Matt, lie to us.
Here's who wrote the answers.
They got so drunk together before the game they passed out on the sidelines
by halftime.
That was the house.
Oh, okay, yes.
So it was either a fucking or a fighting yes that's right um but i did read that it is tradition that the
mascots do drink before the game that's what inspired that tradition yeah okay that's what
the guy who plays cereal said in an interview um the two mascots agreed to a choreographed fight
this one you selected bopper yep Yep. But Zelda was accidentally knocked out.
Dave wrote that one.
Well done, Dave.
So one point for Dave.
Thank you so much.
The two stretches tied together is really funny.
Because this one costume is so big.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
They fuck.
That was Jess.
Oh.
Did I say that one right?
Yeah.
Okay, great.
Nice.
Good job.
You don't want your art to be butchered.
That's right.
It's like last time we did something, I said my ex-wife
and he did it all wrong.
I was like, come on, we do like, you know, rehearsal for a reason.
They were caught shagging costume by the broadcaster's cameras.
That was the how.
No, come on.
Sometimes you just want to believe.
I know.
Meaning the correct answer was a Millwall fan secretly got
in the Zampa the Lion costume with the intention of fighting Cyril the Swan.
When Cyril realised what was happening after Zampa took a few swings at him,
he punched the lion's head off and kicked it into the crowd.
Nice.
That is good.
I like that.
Yeah.
I'm disappointed it wasn't that they were fucking.
You're all disappointed about that, but what can we do?
Yeah.
I just want more people to make love.
Yeah, I just want one online to make sweet sweet love.
It's obviously too much to ask.
All right, that means we're up to the final question.
Can you believe this?
Wow.
What are the scores?
Is it close?
Okay, quick score update.
Jess on three.
House on four.
But out in front on five points is Dave
Warnocky.
Okay.
Whatever.
Okay, if that's what you were thinking.
It's okay. Pig.
Alright, so
question number seven. We always like to finish with a film synopsis question
and this week is no different and the question is what is the synopsis
of the 1988 movie hell comes to frog town what is the synopsis of the 1988 movie
hell comes to frog town an 88 movie, Hell Comes to Frog Town.
And while you're writing your answers,
here is some more information on the mascot Stoush from Medium.com.
On February 11th, 2001, Millwall fans considered the swan a public enemy after previous run-ins eddie don
the man behind the costume this one costume had been told by the club management to avoid
the millwall fans outside 300 police officers mounted the biggest anti-hooligan operation
in swansea's history seizing weapons that included a steel axe and an item described in the newspaper
as a Chinese martial arts rice flail.
A stadium officer warned Cyril, keep a low profile and nothing goes wrong.
But keeping a low profile is exceedingly difficult for a nine foot swan.
At halftime, when Don was to take spot kicks against the Millwall mascot, Zamp of the Lion
was nowhere to be seen. Then the sea of South London has parted. It's the Millwall mascot, Zampa the Lion was nowhere to be seen.
Then the sea of South London has parted.
It's the Millwall fans, I guess.
An Audi march straight from the stands.
This was usual.
Don typically met the rival mascot before each match.
We have a chat, have a beer and a half.
That's what mascots do, he said.
They'd put someone in the costume to fill me in, though, to beat me up.
Then Don heard a Millwall hooligan shout,
Rip his head off, Zampa!
As Cyril stomped onto the field from his position in front of the Swansea fans, a hush fell.
Swan and Lion were now standing beak to snout in the centre circle.
Zampa was six feet tall and heavy set, his face permanently frozen in a shit-eating grin.
What's going on then?
Don shouted at his colleague, but the man inside Zampa gave no reply.
Instead, he threw a jab at Cyril.
Here we go then, thought Don.
I'm looking up in the stadium control room and I'm saying to myself, Eddie, behave.
I'm the groundsman.
It's my life.
It's like, he's a groundsman nine to five and then on weekends he's the swan.
But Zampa kept swinging.
Then he reached to pull off Cyril's head, a serious no-no.
That's when it went too far.
Don's response was swift.
I gave him an uppercut, he says.
The crowd roared, thousands of people cheering on as this rumble in a cartoonish jungle took off.
His head came off in my hands, Don recalled.
So Cyril clomped off the field and drop kicked it into the mill wall stand.
The headless lion limped away.
Don't fuck with the swans, Don shouted after him.
Police officers dashed onto the field.
I just ran straight down the pitch down the tunnel, Don says.
Two officers were right behind him.
Cyril skidded around the corner and slipped into a dressing room.
The policeman hammered on the door shouting,
where's that bird?
Where's the mascot?
We need him out of here.
Don shimmied out of the costume and calmly walked out another door.
The police found the Cyril costume in a pile on the floor.
He got away for now, but not for long,
and ended up with a thousand pound fine.
Wow. All that for a thousand pounds
worth it worth every pound yeah it feels it feels very sort of pantomimey yeah knocking
off like the big no-no is taking the head off knocks the head off he's behind you uh all right
it looks like the answers are in holy Holy moly. Here we go.
So the question, the final question, number seven.
What is the synopsis of the 1988 movie Hell Comes to Frogtown?
Which has got to be one of the great movie titles I've ever heard.
Incredible.
Here are your options.
While traveling to a movie premiere,
a group of young actors break down in a deserted city and find themselves at the mercy of some flesh-eating frogs. Option two.
Wow.
And did I mention he's running late for prom
oh my god there's so much happening in that one an evil doctor creates a serum that turns people
into frogs he uses it on a college student who is dating his daughter but the plan goes awry
when his daughter's attraction only grows the froggier the boy gets she's a frog fucker after
nuclear war women now rule the world
Hell is the name
Of one of their prisoners
Who must try and stop
Their mutant frog like leader
Problem is
Hell has a bomb
Attached to his genitals
Or
Joseph Hell
A dentist
Moves to Frogtown
A small close knit town
With a mysterious secret
Okay Okay Joseph Hell A small, close-knit town with a mysterious secret.
Okay.
Okay.
Joseph Hell.
Joseph Hell. What's he do?
He's a dentist.
Okay.
I mean, that one almost could have gone under the radar, Jess.
What could have?
You hadn't laughed at the wrong time there.
I laughed at a dentist.
I thought that was funny. That's a beautiful little detail. I laughed at a dentist. Thought that was funny.
That's a beautiful little detail.
Joseph Hell, a dentist.
A dentist.
Welcome to Hell's Dentistry.
That's pretty good.
Joseph speaking.
I mean, going to the dentist is hell for me.
So you had the actors who found themselves in a battle with flesh-eating frogs.
Yep.
A 16-year-old boy who was shrunk down to the size of a frog.
frogs yep a 16 year old boy who was shrunk down to the size of a frog uh you had a doctor who created a serum and uh his daughter fell in love with the frog man uh you had a post-nuclear world
where women rule the world um and hell is one of the prisoners with a bomb or uh joseph hell moving
to frog town a small town with a mysterious secret. But what does he do?
He's a dentist.
You can't see his face the whole movie.
Yeah.
I'm going to say the women ruling the world one.
Women rule the world for Bob.
Locked in.
And what about you, David?
What was the one before that?
Number three?
The one where the daughter gets attracted to the frog.
God, I love that. That is good. I reckon that one or the daughter gets attracted to the frog. God, I love that.
That is good.
I reckon that one or the first one.
It's either like a pretty basic one,
like your teens have to battle frogs or this woman falls in love with the frog boy.
Yep.
Which way do you want to go?
Lock in frog boy.
Frog boy.
Come on, frog boy.
Come on, frog boy.
Come on, frog boy.
Frog boy 2, Kings of Mykonos.
It all comes down to this.
And the scores are close. Come on, Frogboy. Frogboy 2, Kings of Mykonos. It all comes down to this and the scores are close.
Everyone's within two points.
So all I need is to get it right and to have Dave choose mine.
Yes.
Easy.
Okay.
This one did make me laugh a lot, so it could be just.
All right.
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
While travelling to a movie premiere,
a group of young actors break down in a deserted city and find themselves at the mercy of some flesh-eating frogs.
That was The House.
The House.
I could see that being like an 80s horror movie.
Yeah.
Well done.
A 16-year-old boy is accidentally shrunk down to the size of a frog.
He must defeat the king of the frogs if he is able to claim
the Newton Key will unlock the Hell Laser
that will unshrink him before
it's too late.
Did I mention he's running late for prom?
That was Dave Warnke.
That's right.
I just kept typing until this box filled up.
Joseph Hell, a dentist, moves to Frogtown, a small close-knit town with a mysterious
secret.
That was just Bob Perkins.
Really?
A dentist.
You thought that was so funny.
I don't know why I found a dentist funny, but I did.
That means one of you is correct.
Is it me?
Is it me?
But, Matt, is it me?
Let's find out.
Who is it?
Say me if one of us is correct.
Which one of us is right?
An evil doctor creates a serum that turns people into frogs
and then the daughter gets attracted to the frog boy.
That was the house.
Meaning Jess is correct.
After a nuclear war, women now rule the world.
Hell is the name of one of their prisoners who must try
and stop their mutant frog-like leader.
Problem is, hell has a bomb attached to his genitals.
Yes, I did it.
Well done.
I got one right.
I would rather watch the house's movie, though,
and I don't usually give the house praise,
but I would like to see a woman falling in love with frog boy yeah that's pretty funny frog fucker frog fucker oh no my
daughter's a frog fucker did i say that that question came from cheryl dean from huntington
in the uk well done cheryl dean and uh that that one that you went with dave that was a
combination writing effort between me and cheryl dean, so you're getting a coke red on that one? Yeah.
Hers was more believable.
I added the
I added
that the attraction only grew.
Alright.
So, final
score check on four points.
Jess Perkins
on five points. Dave Warnke
also on five points. The housearnicke also on five points.
The house. It's a tie.
Well done, everyone. No losers.
Well, feels like
there is a loser.
Who? Oh, yeah, you're
right. No losers here.
Do you want to know how
hell comes to Frogtown scored
on Rotten Tomatoes? Any guesses?
What the percentage might be on the spotometer there?
100?
95.
It's a little lower.
92.
But it's not that much lower.
89.
Excuse me.
89.
It's a little lower.
85.
Still lower.
81.
Lower again.
74.
Keep going.
62.
A little more, please.
A little more. A little more, please. A little more.
A little less.
56.
Yes. Ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding. I got it, Dave. How do you do that?
I'll edit out some of that and you'll
look like a genius.
Hang on, I'll give it to
you clean. I'm going to guess
56%.
Yeah, that's right.
Hell yeah.
And 47% from audiences.
I'll give you a short excerpt from a positive review
and one from a negative review.
Ed Travis writes,
Hell Comes to Frogtown will win you over with its charm,
its knowing sense of humour and its genre roots
and most of all its secret weapon,
the eternally lovable Rowdy roddy piper oh the
wrestler yeah so that was a positive one uh this one comes from jonathan r perry who writes if you
rent a film with this title you deserve whatever you get utter crapola oh wow probably crapola
well and it also stars rory Calhoun. Oh. See that? Mr. Burns references.
It's a young Rory Calhoun. Rory Calhoun.
That's so funny.
I never know what that means, but I still love it.
He's an actor, apparently.
Very funny stuff.
Well, that brings us to the end of the episode.
Jess, where can people find you?
They can find me at Jess Perkins on Instagram.
Just ticked over 14,000 followers.
Grateful for every single one of them except one.
And they know who they are.
And you can find me on the Do Go On podcast where myself
and two acquaintances tell little stories and have a bit of fun.
Neither of you are looking at me.
Okay, I do still exist.
I may be anxious. You're you are looking at me. Okay, I do still exist. It made me anxious.
You're still here. Thank you.
I just realised I had two frog related
questions this week. Do we?
Dave, where can people find you? People can find me on Instagram
unfollowing Jess Perkins to knock her down
to size 13,999.
No, you
leaving will hurt me in no way.
Well, I'm going to drop
you below 14k. You can't do that. Well, we're going to- You're the one that I- I'm going to drop you below 14K.
You can't do that.
Like I'm not just on 14.
How many are you on?
I'll have a look for you.
Give me the exact number.
I'm going to.
I'll get in the group chat.
Go on then.
I'll get how many people we need.
Okay.
Are you willing to unfollow Jess?
I like her stuff.
Okay.
So it's 14,028, Dave.
You're going to need to recruit some friends.
29.
All right, well, as you know, I don't have any,
so that will be difficult.
All right, fine.
I'll stay following you out of spite.
Thank you.
Keep your enemies close.
Yeah, that's right.
And, yeah.
Thanks so much for joining us, Dave and Jess.
I really have appreciated your time here today.
It's so much fun.
Remember when Jess made one of those characters a dentist?
I'll be thinking about that tonight.
Joseph Hell, a dentist.
If you like the show, please tell your friends.
Maybe give it a five-star review.
That would be nice.
If you want to, no pressure.
And, yeah, let people know who might enjoy it.
And thanks for joining us.
Until next time, goodbye.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,
causing the risk of heart disease to go up.
Know your risks.