Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 104 - Sammy Petersen and Zachary Ruane (Aunty Donna)

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Sam Petersen (Confessions, Drunk Aunties) and Zachary Ruane (Aunty Donna and Mish and Zach's Leguizamarama)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who Knew It? Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is from Arnie Donner and Mission Zach's Leg was Armour Armour, Zachary Rewain. Hello. Oh, it is me? It is you. Yes, it was you, that one.

Yeah, great. Hi, thank you so much for having me. And are you, is this your public debut of the new cut? I have had a haircut, but I'm wearing a hat. Yeah. Because I have not quite figured out how to style it yet. Okay. What did the stylist say or the hairdresser?

What did they say? He said not too much product and I think I put a bit too much product in. I thought it was looking great. Yeah, I think it looks good too. I'm liking it. Do you know what? It's less that I haven't figured out how to style it yet. I'm not 100% ready to wear it yet. Okay, and that's gonna come from within

You can't let the hair do that for you. You can do it for yourself. I like the hair intellectually It's the look I'm going for but it's been so long that I've had something else that I'm just like I just need to Sit with it for a little yeah, and that's okay. So I think it'll come. The cut's for you first before it's for the world. Yeah, we're recording this on a Friday. I think come Monday I'll be ready to hear it. Oh, well that's when the world is, we'll be hearing it. Oh, yeah, you should take it off now then

if you're ready. Because you're ready by the time. No, no, but this is actually when this will be out on Monday. I did film something yesterday with it, but I was like, I took comfort in the fact that it wouldn't be coming out for many months. Did you ask them to edit in your hair? Yeah, I wore a wig, a long wig. A very long wig.

No, I've got like a shag, something halfway between a shag and a mullet. Ah, yes, I think you should wear maybe a green cap so they can edit in whatever they want. Alright, so Mr. Hollywood over here. Yeah, Mr. Hollywood's talking. Hollywood's been in the DVD extras. I have been in the DVD extras. Thank you for that. It's a morph hat. We should say who this is though. Our second guest this week is host of Confessions at Sammy Peterson. Thank you so much.

And another podcast called You're Too Drunk, Auntie. Oh, yes. Another one as well. Very good. Thank you for saying that. No worries. I'll just edit that in there. Yeah, just edit that in there.

I'll put it in the post. And I'm writing in my notes. And two notes. For next time, that's really good. Yeah. I should the post. And I'm writing in my notes there. And two notes. Yeah, for next time that's really good. Yeah. I should apologise. I came in with quite an adversarial tone. That was the bit I decided to do before the start of this podcast.

I thought I'd be able to drop it come recording. There's still a little bit of tension there. When I was like, you should introduce Sam, that was all part of the joke. No, no, I liked it. I think it was right. I think it was good instinct. I think it's fun. I think it's a fun vibe. Can I quickly talk to you two about something that involves you?

I'd like to. Do it slowly if you want. The upcoming Cheerful Earful podcast festival here at Stupid Old Studios. October 4th, 5th and 6th. That's in Melbourne time, but it's streaming around the world if you want to do it that way. We can get tickets to watch it live. Sammy's doing his show, Confessions. Zach's doing a mission Zach's leg with Zamarama. Zach and Mish are also gonna be on, Who Knew with Matt Stewart, this very show. And so with Jess Perkins and Dave Warnocky,

it's gonna be... A four way game or two games? Well no, Dave's gonna be side kicking and it's gonna be you, Mish, Big Wet and Jess Perkins, the Bop. A three, three. How does Jess play? She plays it almost the to be you, Mish, Big Wet and Jess Perkins, the bot. Three, three. How does Jess play? She plays it almost the opposite of you, but-

Just has fun. But it'll be interesting. She also- I fight dirty. But we'll see. Jess has started fighting dirtier too. So she, I think she's really looking forward to testing it against two of the- Heavyweights.

The heavyweights, the actual, the benchmark. Could you like fought dirty and won rather than just fighting dirty and losing every time? Because that would make you a more bitter person. I don't care too much about winning or losing. I'm not actually that interested in winning or losing as much as I am making everyone as miserable as possible. That's lovely. That's a lovely thing to say. Well, yeah, I'm doing that at Chewfully for podcast, but also my birthday's coming up. Oh, happy birthday. 24th of September. Happy birthday, very exciting.

Oh, that's a big one. That's a big one. We're turning to the big 33. Big 33, yeah. Oh, that's when Jesus died. That's right. He's 33. Yeah, 33.

I'm turning 33. Turning 33. Turning one third. Turning one third. One third of a ton. I always thought you were a little bit older than me, Sam. Thank you for saying that. But you're a little bit younger.

A little bit younger. And not because you look old, because you seem wise. Oh, thank you for saying that. Got an old soul. Yeah, you're a wise. I don't like you for saying that. You're a little bit younger. A little bit younger. And not because you look old, because you seem wise. Oh, thank you for saying that. Got an old soul. Oh, thank you for saying that. A very old soul. Very wrinkly old soul. No, you've got a beautiful young body, but a very old soul.

Oh, thank you. The soul of an old man, the body of a Russian gymnast. I want all of that blipped. So as well as Duguon, who knew it, Confessions, Mission Zaks, Leggwizamorama, Willosophy with Will Anderson and so on. Will Anderson is my guest for Confessions. Oh, it's exciting. It's gonna be an absolute bumper. It's gonna be great.

There's a Bodriggy pop-up bar out the front. The car park's gonna be coming. I hope I don't get drunk before I record anything. I almost certainly will. Oh no. I'll be in between of you two. I'm right at that age where it's not cute anymore. Just a mess. Yeah.

Oh Jesus. I've gone a ways past that. But anyway, I still make it look good somehow. You do. You pull it off. You got like that. You pull the drunk off. You got that like fun drunk on your mind.

Oh yeah. I've got that. Not the handsy one. You got the handsy. No I'm not handsy. You got the handsy one. You got the handsy one No, I'm not a handsy. You're the handsy one. You got the handsy. These are baseless accusations. Oh, so allegedly then. But yeah, no.

And I should say, actually, it is still, I think it's still called Missions X, Leguizama Rama. But we do two episodes a week now. Your own podcast, you think it's called that? Well, we're kind of in the transitionary phase right now of maybe of a slight rebrand. Only Thursday's episode is Leguizama Rama. We also just talk shit, have fun, have a chat.

So if you don't know the character actor, John Leguizama, and you're coming to see these more accessible podcasts that my friends here host, come along the mission. Zach, you'll have a fun time. You'll have such a good time. It's always a good time. And you do probably know Leguizama as well. Ooh. Like you probably do know him even if you don't know him by name.

It's a true celebration of, oh that guy. Have you done Violent Night yet? Yeah we did it when it came out. Man I loved that movie. Really fun. It's so fun. Me and Dave Warnocki watched it at the cinemas and we had the best time. I was talking to someone who worked on the director of that film, has got another film coming out and I don't know if it's been announced or anything, it was filmed in Australia and he was telling me the concept and some of the scenes and I think you're going to have an equally great time. Oh, that's so exciting.

Well, I'm looking forward for you having a good time. Yeah, home too. Anyway. My birthday's coming up. Sam. Happy birthday. Your birthday is going to be so much fun. Thank you for saying that.

24th of September. We're going to have so much fun right now. I want to. As we play the game, this is how it works. Ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct. And the first one comes from two listeners, Linda Moulton from Gainesville, Florida and Rhiannon Healy. And the question is, what does Morgan Muffle mean? What does Morgan Muffle mean? Morgan Muffle one word? One word Morgan Muffle. Okay. While they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, another point if you

correctly guess the answer. And by the way I'm also playing as the house and I've put into my own fake answers with the help of the question writers and I also get a point for each one of those that the guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house sometimes wins. If you've listened to a lot of episodes you'll know it's pretty rare but it does happen sometimes.

And for that reason the guests get triple points in the final round and the house does not to really even things up. Anyway our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash TugongPod linked in the show notes. And while I've got you, we're now filming episodes. So why not follow us on Instagram, Facebook, et cetera, at who knew it pod. Yeah, putting up little clips. To be honest, I only put up one so far, but I've been filming them. And when I get the chance, I'm going to cut more clips up. All right. And the answers are in. So question one, what does Morgan Muffle mean? A term referring to invented

issues used by mechanics in order to overcharge unsuspecting customers. A derivative term for a person who works on a production line Across between across between a Pekingese and a Welsh Pembroke corgi. I'm sorry if you're not tidying that up Taking their name from a combo of these two a la Labradoodle they get their name from the sound of their bark Which I guess is something like Morgan Muffle Morgan Muffle. That's nice. Can you do it one more time? Morgan Muffle. Morgan Muffle. Do a clip of that one. Morgan Muffle. Do a clip of that one. Morgan Muffle.

We just made a million dollars worth of saying Morgan Muffle. Morgan Muffle. Morgan Muffle. It's the sound of their bark if they could talk and said the word Morgan Muffle. And coughing up something at the same time. Then you've got a person who's grouchy in the morning. A real Morgan Waffle. Well finally, it was the first name chosen by popular band Modest Mouse. Jesus Christ. I've never heard a list where I've been less sure of what the answer is. Yeah, I don't know. Which one did you write? I did the last one. Okay.

Okay, okay. I don't know. Okay. I'm going to say this, but I'm thinking at the moment it is the manufacturing one. Okay. That you said. The production line. The production line. That's what I'm thinking.

But I also know that Zach wants me to do that one. Oh. And he wants me. That's what you want me to put. How do you know that? Because I know he fights dirty. Yes. I know that is maybe the one that he wanted me to do.

Okay. He put his hand. He's in your head so endlessly. Over his, over his small tiny mouth. I'm doing cover by his body language. I'm going straight to poker. I'm sorry. It is amazing. You get in a Mishas head two or three questions in. You haven't hardly said a word. He's good at it.

And Sam, Sam is a mess. The problem is, and I didn't know if this was going to happen, right, part of why I fight so dirty with Mish is I know Mish and Mish knows me. I know Sam well, but not like I know Mish. You know what I mean? Mish is my co-host. Fuck, he's going home as well. I've met my match.

Yeah. I'm going to meet my match. So I'll go up to the microphone there. Anyway. So you're looking at them. Can I hear them again? Can I just hear the roughest version of them again? Yep. Term for invented issues that mechanics use to screw over customers. Term for a person who works on a production line. Cross between a Pekingese and a Welsh Pembroke Corgi, they sound like.

He hasn't changed. He hasn't changed. He hasn't changed. Person who's grouchy in the morning or the first name chosen by a popular band. Modest Mouse. His finger went up on the first. I'm going to lock in number one. I'm going to change my answer.

I'm going to go with number one. The mechanics one? You think. Number one. And you think. So you think Zach knows the answer and he's signalling that with his finger? That's right. Okay. Exactly what I think. That's interesting. It's exactly what I think. Exactly. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna go number one as well. You both go number one. You have a rule don't you, that you're not allowed to go with your own one?

Yes, that's right. Say number two. No, I'm just joking around number one. I am I joking around You got a two? I'm gonna go number two. All right. Here's the answers And I'm gonna read this as it was written by Sam Morgan Muffle is Was the first name chosen by a popular band Modest Moose? It was very close to choosing. Thank you. And I had my glasses on for that one as well and I still Do you want to know my top two? Do you want to know my top two? I'd love to hear that. Number one, it was also the dog one. So. Okay. Oh, okay.

So, it's all coming up between. Well, the dog one was actually written by question writer Linda. Great job, Linda. Linda from Gainesville, Florida. That's right. Zach went for the mechanics one where they use it to overcharge. That was actually the house, I'm afraid. to overcharge. That was actually the house I'm afraid. Well done, congratulations.

Congratulations to the house. Sam, he zigged in Zach but he ended up back in Zach's head or in the probably the palm of Zach's hand if anything because that was written by Zach, a derivative term for a person who works on a production line. Thank you for saying that. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Well played though, sir. Thank you. I mean, I did a, I think what I did there is I tried to show, what I tried to do was show a flash of frustration that he was changing and then hiding it. That's what I tried to do. I tried to both show and attempt at doing the action and hiding the action. Both were good.

Thank you for changing. Really, I don't think I did anything. I think you changed. Yeah, you didn't do anything. Can I hear mine as written one more time? Morgan Muffle, Iz was the name, Iz was the first name chosen by a popular band, Modest Moose. I really like that.

I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so sorry. Did I butcher it? No. I like it. You butchered it. Modest Moose. I don't quite love it. I actually much prefer it. Is Was is real fun. Is Was the original name for Modest Moose. Which was the second name of Modest Mouse. Which was the fourth name they chose. We still don't know the third name.

We're still not too sure. I like that. So anyway, the correct answer is a person who is grouchy in the morning. That's a good one. And it's a German term, you know, good good. So Morgan or whatever Muffle means grouch Morgan means morning. So it's literally just Morning grouch morning grouch. We're doing translations as well now Now I mean that's what all games taking another fucking level But what a great level when you you, you see, when you and Big Wet lifted to another level, the house had to meet you and then raise you.

Well, I should say we both have our sunglasses on now. We have escalated this way too quickly. Way too quickly. We've got it. We've got it. Yeah. The body language. It's all about the body language.

So Zach's on one point and the house is on one point after one round. How many am I on? Oh, sorry, yet to score. So question number two comes from Tyler Brown from Charlotte, North Carolina. Oh wow, you got a lot of fans down south. Why hello there. I hope you're enjoying the show everybody.

The show everybody. I hope you're enjoying all of the fun questions. So Tyler's question is which of the following is a real species of beetle? So you just gotta give us a, come up with a fake name for a beetle. That's fun. Which of the following is a real species of beetle? Yeah, so you're just gonna come up with a- You really have taken this game up a notch since the last time I played. So

I just have to come up with a name for a beetle. That's right. Yep. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Morgan Muffle. According to the monthly newsletter, Germany for Americans, produced by the German Embassy in Washington DC, this German word describes those who struggle to wake up in the mornings. If you or someone you know wanders the earth like a zombie before their first cup of coffee, they're probably a Morgan Muffle. These morning grouches are often in a bad mood and usually avoid early morning conversations. They may however be much cheerier and productive at night, the type of people that Americans

would call night owls. But in English, there is no equivalent to the word Morgan Muffle. Hey, that's a fucking great name. Yeah. So it's a night owl that's grumpy in the morning. Yeah, yeah. That's me. Yeah, you're a Morgan Muffle.

I'm a Morgan Muffle too, to be honest. I'm dumb. I'm the opposite of that. Yeah, you strike me as a sort of... I'm fun in the morning. Do you know how long it took me to realize... You know how I always felt a lot of great shame being a night owl and people that get up early love to be like, I spring out of bed, I get shit done and they

love to think they're better than everyone. Like you, you're cool. I'll still get it from like, if I crash at my parents place, I'll still get up, oop, morning, you know. They love that, right? You're missing the best part of the day. And then it took me until my late twenties to realise, well try, like yeah sure I might struggle to send an email at 9am but they can't even watch a movie at 10pm.

Yeah that's right. They can't even sit and watch television at 10pm without falling asleep. You're wired. You're ready. Like they can't. Smashing red balls. They fall asleep sitting up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's more pathetic? You win, you win. I'm both. Yeah I'm both. I'm tired all the time. sitting up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the vibe in the room changed. Interesting. Went from fun quirky chat. Yeah. To game face. As soon as you started going with the answers, Zach put his hands under. Well my hands were a towel for the damn reason. Yeah you. Correct. I can still tell. Which of these is a real species of beetle? The big wet water beetle, blue chicken beetle, rank Ronald, the blue stomp or the Hitler beetle. Who went first last time? I think Sam did. So it might be over to you Zach. What were the two blue ones? Blue chicken beetle and the blue stomp. Blue stomp. Blue stomp locking it in. Or Hitler. Blue Stomp. Blue Stomp locked in.

Sam? Interesting that you brought up blue first. I'm going to lock in the other blue. What was the other blue one? The blue chicken beetle. I'm going to lock that one in. Okay. I'm going to lock that in for Sam.

Now do you think the Hitler thing was a play? You know how it just slipped it in late? That would be a classic sort of big wet move. That's what he wanted me to think. So here... Are we done? Are we locked in? You're locked in. Yeah, great. Let me know when we've locked in. I'll take off my sunglasses.

I'll try to get in. Back to the front chair. It's okay, I break it. We don't talk to each other at all. We're going to an ad break and we just all sit here. Oh yeah great, that was fantastic. Alright, so this is who wrote the answers. The big wet water beetle, that was Tyler. That's good, I like the big wet.

Good job, and I like the reference to Mish. Because I was thinking that's a giveaway, but maybe that's the reason you send in a question like that. Exactly. That's very true actually. I actually thought that was Sam's because I thought Sam had maybe heard peripherally Big Wef, but hadn't registered it and accidentally put it in. Interesting. Also interesting. Great slip up from me. Rank Ronald, that was the house. Good on you, the house. I peeked behind the curtain. Initially it was Dank Donald.

And I thought I can punch this up with a modest moose first Let us move some rank later change to rank Ronald. This is the dank Donald show Welcome to our next act. It's dead's modest moves Very nice the host of the dank Donald show Sing an indie you sing in mid-2000s. No, I like that. That's fun. Blue Chicken Beetle. Sam went for that. Yes. That was Zachary Rewain. Thank you so much. Thank you, Sam. Thank you. You're going to be pleased in a moment.

The Blue Stomp. Zach went for that. That was Sam. We did the two blues. Isn't that wild? The Hitler Beetle was correct. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, the Hitler Beetle. What an interesting name. I should have known it was Hitler because I was like, oh, Hitler, that's spicy. Right. That's spicy.

But do you know what it is? It's exactly the right amount of spicy for it to be true. Yes. Like, oh, that's a fun fact. I'll definitely send that in as a question. Yeah. But it's too spicy for a fake answer. Way too spicy for a fake. And that's why I should have gone for Hitler. Unless the player would have done that. And that's why I need to apply a bit more. Oh, yeah. Oh! Interesting foresight there.

This is part of your process. You're always very successful on the show, but you're always learning. I try to learn, but I also try to share my learnings. I don't want to, you know, I'm like open source code. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not interested in, you know, I'm more interested, my number two is Zacherowain winning, but my number one is elevating the game I love. That's right. All right, back to the sunglasses. Thank you.

So here is question number three. Great. This comes from Jackie Claire from Perth. And the question is, which of these is a real Bond girl from an Ian Fleming novel? So you just got to come up with, you know, the famous one. Well, I was going to say a lot of the genre, but that is that's an Austin Powers, you know, it's that kind of thing. Yeah. And while you're writing those answers.

So the question is, which name? A name. OK, you've just got to come up with a fake Bond girl name. Yeah, sure. And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about these Hitler Beetles. Quite interesting, I reckon. This is according to Tyler. This eyeless beetle was named in the 1930s, pre-World War II, in honour of Adolf Hitler.

I was assuming, oh, it's going to be like this is like an evil beetle. It's being named. The Hitler Beetle for a reason. But it's going to be like this. This is like an evil beetle. It's being named the Hitler beetle for a reason. But it was it was named to honor Hitler. Oh, OK. Pre pre. That was my guess. Yeah, it's actually in my thought process. I was like, I reckon if it is real, it happened in like 19. It was 30.

Three or 33. Yeah. Wow. And when asked about a name change, the president of the International Commission for Zoological Nomenclature stated, it was not offensive when it was proposed and it may not be offensive a hundred years from now, which is a wild thing to say publicly. The beetle is a popular collectible for both current Nazis and Nazi memorabilia collectors, though more recently a common name change has been proposed The Slovenian blind cave beetle, okay

Could be okay in a hundred years. Yeah Super offensive in a man what date was it changed? It hasn't been changed so has that guy the the name and guys like we can't change it Yeah, it's official on only answers to that. Yeah. I'm gonna put money on it still being kind of spicy in 20 years. Yeah, yeah. I think it-

You're a little worried if it's not. I love the idea, he's just like, we don't know. Maybe they'll look back and go, hey, he wasn't so bad. We've changed it to pole pot, and we'll check back in, pole pot needle, and we'll check back in in 50. Yeah, it just like, it feels like a guy who didn't check in with his organization's publicity people or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You

probably need a little coaching before you go, we don't know if Hitler's gonna be bad in 100 years. Yeah. Maybe people will be like, let's sit tight on this. Let's sit tight. Let's see, let's see how the wind blows. Another focus group in 100 years. Yeah, no, probably still a bit bad. A bit bad. Alright. I'm excited about this. I'm excited. Answers are in. Hands are on the table. Here's question number three. Which of these is a real Bond girl? Twinkle Fluffer, Fanny Roger, Kissy Suzuki, Vanessa Tudge or Nippy Cleavage? Okay, I think we're back to you Sam twinkle fluffer Fanny Roger kissy Suzuki Vanessa touch or nippy cleavage I think I get the first

one one more time twinkle fluffer the second one Fanny Roger the first one one more time? Twinkle Fluffer. The second one. Fanny Roger. The third one. Kissy Suzuki. Fourth one. Vanessa Tudge. Fifth one. Nippy Cleavage. Was it a sixth or was it just five?

Just the fifth. Just the fifth. I'm gonna lock in number two. Fanny Roger. Locked in for Sam. Thank you. What do you think, Zach? It's Kissy Suzuki. Locking in? 100%. Okay. Not a doubt in for Sam. Thank you. What do you think, Zach? It's Kissy Suzuki. Locking

in in? 100%. Okay. Not a doubt in my mind. Not a doubt in my mind. I'm locking that in for Zach. Here's who wrote. Not only that, I'll tell you which book it's in. Okay. It's a wrote the answer. Daniel only lived twice. That's an interesting theory you've got there, Zach, but we'll wait until the service is confirmed. Nippy Cleavage, that was the house. Nice one for the house. Twinkle Fluffer, that was Jackie, aka the house. Damn, man. Vanessa Tudge with Sam.

Tudge is such a great surname. Thank you. I was like, yeah, I like that. Wasn't there, there was like an Australian politician named Alan Tudge? Alan Tudge, yeah. That's good. I could not- I thought Tudge was good. I don't know why Alan Tudge. Alan Tudge, yeah. That's good. I could not. I thought Tudge was good.

I don't know why Alan Tudge is such a funny name to me. Alan Tudge. I also think it's a good trick is like, what could have been innuendo? But it's not. There's a lot of innuendo now that we don't know and Tudge sounds like, oh, I think they're off to have a Tudge.

Yeah, it could easily be something sexual, but it's not. A little touch. But I also love how unsubtle they were. Pussy Galore. Pussy Galore is very funny. In any age is just so unsubtle. That's something Dave,

cause Dave Warnock is a massive Bond fan and he- They're gonna say massive Pussy Galore. He kind of finds, and that too, and he finds the Austin Powers movies a bit, people think he likes them, but he's like, what are they parodying? It's the same with Scary Movie to Scream.

It's almost, that series from the second one on, I've actually just started re-watching them very, very quickly. The Scary Movie or Scream? No, the Bond films. Oh, right. From the second one on, it becomes a parody of itself very quickly. Yeah. So yeah, it's funny to, parodying a parody is itself. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's funny to parodying a parody is.

Well, that was Scream. Like, that was so weird that, like, Scary Movie did the Scream one, because it's like, but that was the joke. Yeah. They're like, isn't it funny that they ran upstairs? And it's like, that's literally a scene in Scream. Like, you just, it's like, you know, when you have, I remember, like, I'll often, I can't drive and I'll often make jokes about not being able to drive that are on the side of subtle.

And then often I'll get someone followed up with like, yeah, but you can't drive. I already implied that. It's like one of the days of Twitter when you'd write a joke and someone under it would explain the joke. Yeah. Under it or go, oh, you probably mean this. It's like, stop. That's what the joke was.

It was meant to be a joke. The amount of Tumblr things I see where it's like the joke and then, yeah, just, yeah, like literally just- An explanation. I just did exactly what you did. Yes, yeah. I just did a Tumblr comment under your point. Yeah, the common one I've got over the years is all people,

different versions of people going, what you said is actually a bit ironic because that is the opposite. Oh yeah, that is, I built that in. You don't know what to do with that. And you're around what you said is kind of funny in a way. And you never really want to point it out. It's just, it's this thing where then you're just like, fuck, I think I just got to let

you walk around the world yeah yeah yeah yeah but it's the irony is like they're the stupidest person they think they're now the one the wittiest in the room yeah what do we get up to there or Sam went for F. That was Zach. Is that all three that Sam's got yours? And it was so clear right from the beginning. You were in his head right off the bat and you've got three from three. You've got him I think. Well this one I was very blessed because I've been watching a lot of Bond films and I just was like I have the pattern in my head right now. Sure sure. and I just was like, I have the pattern in my head, right? It's a real like, it's not subtle. I think the trick is-

You're Fanny Roger. Anyone would try to go smarter than that. And it's like, no, you just pick sex words and you put them together. That's why I tried with Vanessa's hutch because I thought it was a good in between those two. No, they're not. And this is what I've realised is Pussy Galore, it's Kissy Suzuki.

Kissy Suzuki. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's word association. And is she a Japanese character? She's a Japanese character, so he's chosen the English sex word that sounds most Japanese to a 1960s man and then a car brand. That's clever. It works.

Kissy Suzuki. Amazing. That's clever. Kizzee Suzuki, amazing. So funny. So yeah, Kizzee Suzuki is correct and that means a full two points that round for Zach. So after three rounds the score is, oh Sam a one point in the house a one point but leaping into the front on four points exactly the way. Still, you know, still in the game. Can I come back from this?

You can. Halfway in the final round is triple points. So here's question number four. What was the, oh hang hang on. Sorry. Just... Get those sunglasses back on. Gotta play... Play. Now... Play, play.

I think... We get... I think this one maybe plays more into Sam's knowledge. It's a sports question. Oh my god. Good, good. Oh my god. Good, good, good. What was Major League Baseball left fielder Johnny Dickshot's nickname? Pfft! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm just realising now I should have flipped this question around so that was the answer. Yeah, that would have been a good answer.

Damn it. You know what? That was good. We're all learning. Still remember? We're all learning. Johnny Dickshot. How can you talk that?

Who hears Johnny Dickshot and thinks, I'm going to think of something better than this. I can do better than that. Alright. Yes. Yeah, well I've set us all off for disappointment here, I'm pretty sure. Can you ask the question again? Sorry, I had to. There's a Major League Baseball left fielder.

What was his nickname? Johnny Dickshot. And while you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Kissy Suzuki. According to the Bond fandom, Kissy Suzuki is a character in Ian Fleming's 1964 James Bond novel, You Only Live Twice, and portrayed by actress Mie Hama in the 1967 feature film adaptation. Unusually, the name Kitsie Suzuki is never mentioned in the film. According to Jackie, the question writer, despite Bond's womanizing, Kitsie Suzuki,

at least in the literary version, remains the only character known to the reader who bears a child by him. Fun fact perhaps. While you're still writing your answer, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back. Here's question number four. Sonny's are still on. What was Major League Baseball left fielder Johnny Dick shots nickname the sex pistol ugly little dicky lefty or cumshot all right we're back to you Sam I think no I think it's my turn sex turn sex turn apologize matters all right can I hear them again the sex My turn. Zach's turn. Zach's turn. Apologies. Not that it matters.

All right. Can I hear them again? The sex pistol. Ugly. Little dicky. Lefty. Or cumshot. Slower. The sex pistol. Ugly. Little dicky. Lefty. Cumshot. Take your time. What's the second and third? Ugly, Little Dicky. They're two different ones. Better be Big. Johnny Dickshot. It's between Ugly and Little Dicky. I'm gonna go Ugly. Ugly. No, I'm gonna go Little Dicky. Little Dicky locking in for the Zack. I'm gonna lock in was it lefty lefty I'm gonna lock in lefty

Locking it in for Sam. All right. Here's who wrote the answers Okay, sorry ready to have fun now I'm having fun. I don't mind if I win Because you said he was he played left field. That's right. Ah, that's what I think I think one with lefty. Uh, okay, maybe I think now you did that. Because maybe I was listening to that same question. Let's see who wrote it.

Or maybe you got it. Maybe you got it. Let's see. This is who wrote the answers. Cumshot, that was Sam. Thank you so much everyone. Thank you so much. And I think it's-

Because that was the James Bond thing of going, let's just go wild with this one. I wanted to have fun with that one. Yeah, you did. I want to do a fun shot, like a fun cum shot. Yeah, yeah. Let's just have fun with one. That's what pornographers all often say.

That's what we've got at the next one. Let's just go for a fun one, Taker. The Sex Pistols, that was the house. The Sex Pistols, she said. Oh, nice one. In my head I thought maybe you'd go, oh is that where the band got the name from? And you know dick shot. Anyway, you've probably figured that out Little dickie, Zach went for that. That was actually Casey aka the house. Oh no

Lefty Sam went for was Zach four out of four Every time I'm not sure this has happened before It's got in my head that's the thing I couldn't believe when you said it that time I'm getting excited by this. This is the game without a game. It's too much pressure now. I can't keep, I really thought I'd fucked it with Lefty. Oh yeah that's what you said. You were so close it was Ugly. You were locked in and locked out. That's what you wanted me to think. You wanted me to think. I wish I'd stuck with Ugly. I knew in my

heart Ugly. You've done that twice I think you've. Because Ugly was similar to lefty. I just, I, you know, I would have done something like ugly. You know? Yeah. I would have done something like ugly and other people would do something like little dicky but I gotta think, you know, just because I would have done ugly doesn't mean that's not the truth. But I guess the person who came up with it was another person too. Oh that's actually true.

When you really think about it. It could have been another Zack type. Yeah, absolutely a Zack type would have. Was he handsome? Are we going to learn? Or was he actually ugly? You know what? I would say he was not ugly, but he gave himself the name.

He gave himself the nickname saying he was the ugliest guy in baseball. It's how many people give themselves a nickname. Oh no. You're not. You're beautiful. You's how many people give themselves a nickname. Oh no. But I would say. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, Ugly. Inside and out.

Honestly, his... I know you often hear, oh, they were so beautiful and they weren't. You know, you're looking at an old and old thing, but this guy, he's not an ugly guy. He's, yeah. When is this from? The early 1900s I think. He's ugly in a 1900s kind of

way. He's ugly like a character called ugly. If I was casting a movie, if I was making a movie set in the 20s in 1993 and I was casting a character called ugly, I would either cast a guy like him or put makeup on like Warren Beatty until he looked like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ripping forehead and- I was thinking Dick Tracy, that's what he said Warren Beatty. He's not ugly. But he's not ugly.

He's like Hollywood- He looks like, I mean he could be like the lead in a HBO series now. Totally. He could do a Calvin Klein commercial if he's ripped enough. Now. I'd kill. You's ripped enough. Now. I'd kill. That's specified now.

Now. Would Kilder look like Dickshot? No, he was born in 1910, sorry. So yeah, he was, he played in the sort of the 40s. Alright, so what does that mean? That means there's a point to Zack and a point to the house. Wow. This is crazy.

It's a ring of news. It's an albino. It's an albino. Yeah. I don't think I've been playing that dirty this one. I've just been playing. No, It's a ring of doom. It's a nail-biter. It's a nail-biter. Yeah. I don't think I've been playing that dirty this one. I've just been playing- No. It's gotten in my head.

I think it's gotten in my head. Yeah, you haven't had to play dirty. You've played clean, but you've played well. You've played a strong hand. Yeah. But I definitely, what I would say is I put the audience very low on my list of priorities. I don't try to make this an entertaining show. I just try to win. You entertaining show. Don't hate it.

I just try to win. You know the interesting thing about that is the listeners love your episodes. I've heard this. Yeah. Thank you so much to the listeners. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening through me completely

not giving a shit about your enjoyment. Not trying to be funny. All right. All right, second last question comes from Katie Salisbury from Glebe in Sydney. Oh, Glebe in Sydney. Fun fact about Sydney Glebe. I first show I ever did outside of Melbourne, we did a show in Sydney and I had a character who lived in, I can't remember where they lived, I think they lived-

Just say Glebe if you want. In a trendy suburb 10 years ago. Hi, I'm from, no I think they were from Dalesford They were a character from Dalesford and I was like, what's the New South Wales equivalent? What's the what's the trendy suburb and someone said Gleib is the trendy suburb and I said hi I'm from Gleib and it's the first time I've ever gotten a laugh without knowing why it was funny You know what I mean? You know when you change a reference and it feels almost dirty because you're like Okay why it was funny. You know what I mean? You know when you change a reference and it feels almost dirty because you're like, okay. I don't know why people are laughing. I'm on board for the laugh. I'll take it. I'll take it. I don't understand it, but I'll take it.

People are going like, oh yeah, that is Gleam, people. I'm still never been to Gleam. What if you got to, oh. Yeah, don't go there. That's my fear. That's my fear for sure. Katie's question is, what was the, what was the Daily Mail headline published on the 17th of September 2018? 2018. Daily Mail headline. On what date? 17th of September 2018.

While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Ugly Dickshot. According to Wiki, John Oscar Dickshot, his actual, his birth name, he changed his name from John Oscar Dixus. Dixus? So yeah, I don't know, it feels like a sideways move, you know, rather than an upgrade or a downgrade. Dickshot's awesome. He's awesome. Nicknamed Ugly Johnny Dickshot, he was an American professional baseball left fielder. He played in Major League Baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates, the New York Giants and the Chicago White Sox.

His professional career, including the seasons he spent in minor league baseball ran from 1930 to 1947 and he received the nickname Ugly because he proclaimed himself to be quote the ugliest man in baseball during his career and we've debunked that now but not that he said it but debunked that he was ugly. The man who feels loved today would be on the telly. Alright, answering for question number five. Sunnies are on. Hands are down. What was a Daily Mail headline published on 17 September 2018? Man, 47.

Dump spike, girlfriend and wallet in the Thames all on the same day. Donald Trump caught. Pika who? One woman's quest to find herself through decades long game of hide and seek. Her Majesty Loved It! Secret screening of the crown at Buckingham Palace. Or blind bisexual goose named Thomas, who spent six years in a love triangle with two swans and helped raise 68 babies, died at the ripe old age of 40.

My lord. My lord. That is a difficult, difficult one. I don't know which one Zach wrote there either. This is a hard one. Well we won't know until you pick one. That's right. That's right I'm gonna guess the what was the the the 47 man 47 Dumps bike girlfriend and wallet. I want that one. You want to look that one in what look I know for Sam Locked in you haven't said the word locked in yet. You waiting locked in it. You're waiting. Locked in. Exactly. You're worthy adversary. Take that too. You'll take it as well. You know what that means Sam. That means it's either a double bluff or it's a one. I'll give you one more chance. You're staying locked in. I'm gonna go with my gut and that is to change it. I'm going to keep 47.

Man 47. Actually, I will change mine. Interesting that he did that when you gave him a second guess. Do you always give people a second guess or is this just a thing that you're doing now? I just... To read the room a little bit. Well, I am just really... Because normally we don't have this kind of level of psychological warfare going on.

So I'm just, I like to maybe. You're trying to like create a bit of a puppeteer master. Can you read them out one more time? Sure. Man 47 dumps bike girlfriend and wallet in the Thames all in the same day. What if I say I'm going to change it? What does he do? What's his body language? Not a lot. When he froze, when I said it. I'm going to change mine.

And lock in Man 47. Lock in the same one. Nothing. Can you read them out again? Man 47 dumps bike, girlfriend and wallet in the Thames on the same day. Donald Trump caught. Pika who? One woman's quest to find herself through a decades long game of hide and seek.

Her majesty loved it. Secret screening of The Crown at Buckingham Palace. A blind bisexual goose named Thomas who spent six years in a love triangle with two swans and helped raise 68 babies died at the ripe old age of 40. I'm gonna look in number one. I'm not allowed to guess my own am I? No. So I do have to change it. Yeah. If that's what I chose I chose oh yes that's what I'm thinking I'm gonna stay with number one what are you gonna pick if you know everything then he moved his pinky just downwards if I change tucked it in he's tucked his pinky in uh I'll allow it so if I change mine we had to change I think if

I think if you get a change he gets to change yeah if I don't change mine, he's allowed to change mine. I think if you get a change, he gets a change. If I don't change mine, what are you going to do then? Where's your room to move on this chess board? Because I am keeping that right there where I need it. I'm going to change to the hide and seek one. Hide and seek. Number three. Welcome that in for Zach and Sam.

I move my pawn slowly to number one. I go back to number one. I go back to number one. I am going to change my... And lock in number one. Okay. We're both number one. We're all locked away.

We're locked away. No more offers. No more b away. No more bids. No more bids. My final offer. His who wrote the answers. Hold on. Now his glasses are off. I want to make one more final judgment. Lock in number one. Donald Trump caught. That was Sammy P. Good job. So boring when I heard all of the other ones. I was like, oh, I really downplayed. No, that was good. Oh, okay. That was a good one.

If it, if that was really high up for me because it just felt so simple and real. So simple, yeah. All the other ones felt overthought. Yeah, overthought. And then the, I like the headings always have it, like the puns in them as well. So I like those puns in them as well.

Pika Who? That's the one. One was quest to find herself through hide and seek. That was written by Katie, AKA The House. Huge. That was my second favourite. I thought that was really good stuff from Katie. I really like that one.

Good on you, Katie. Thanks for writing in. Her Majesty loved it. Secret screening of the crown at Buckingham Palace. That was Zachary Rines. Oh, at least I haven't got his one for once. Yeah, it's really, yeah. This is huge for me.

The streak is broken. Now you both went for Man 47 Dump Spike, Girlfriend of Wild in the Thames all in the same day. That was also Katie, okay? That was a good one. I like that one. Maybe the correct answer was... It also had the disrespect for a dead woman. That is very... It is commonplace. That is very apropos for British tabloid media. And also when they write the age in the Man 47 as well, it's very newspaper-esque.

I felt very real. Oh my god, I did not... I don't think I ever picked up, but yeah. You don't dump a live girlfriend. No, no, no. It just had... I think I read it as they were on a boat and she dumped... But it's in the Thames, not on the Thames.

Yeah, no know. I really read it as a... Which just is exactly what I would expect from the Daily Mail. Exactly what you'd expect. Yeah. Nothing more, nothing less. And that means the correct answer is probably the most ridiculous one. Blind bisexual goose Thomas. From the one trying to start it at the ripe old age of 40. Great heading.

Yeah. Great story. Gets a lot in there, doesn't it? Yeah, it really does. It's pretty much the whole story. I'll tell you, part of why I went with the same as Sam was I was tossing up between a lot of them, but I thought, look, that's definitely not Sam's. I was like, that's definitely not Sam's.

It's definitely not mine. At the very least, it'll keep us on even. Yeah. So I'm now at this late stage of the game willing to you know that was a risky move but I was like I'm just gonna. But of course what you've done there is. It's helped the house. Given two points to the house which means the scores are now one point to Sam, four to the house and five to Zach. Always. So it's still truly anyone's game. We're going into the final round and we always finish with a movie plot synopsis. Okay. Sammy P.

Absolutely. Now. That's how we should. And that's always about three sentences, isn't it? It's something like three, four sentences. You know, a short... A paragraph. Yeah, probably a normal-sized paragraph.

Yeah. What one could describe as a paragraph? If you've heard of it. Look, I'm going around, sort of circling around this, but I think a paragraph would be a good way to describe. Paragraph. The last heading for that. How long is that paragraph? About the amount of sentences one would put in a paragraph. Yeah, before feeling like we probably need to put a bit of a space here. Question is, oh, this comes from which this has got to be one of the great names as well.

Wilson Deluxe from Glasgow in Scotland. The question is, what is the plot synopsis of the 2019 film Patrick? What is the synopsis of the 2019 film Patrick? Oh, I, I, I. You know this one? I think I do. Oh no.

That's all right. I thought that might be the case. There's a few films called Patrick. Yes, there are. I found that too. But if it's the the case. There's a few films called Patrick. Yes, there are found that too, but um If it's the one I think it is I think I know you want to say the the most recognizable actor in it From a kind of the actors in it. Do you want me to just send you something? Yeah, maybe one You guys know that's not a different film different Patrick. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's not about that. Nope

Okay, great different film called, different Patrick. It's not about that. Nope. Okay. Great. Different film called Patrick 2019. 2019. That's right. And while you're writing those answers, here's the article about that goose and it was written by Nick White.

Thomas, the beloved bisexual goose who spent years in a love triangle with two swans as they raised 68 signets as died aged 40. I hope that's how you say signets. Baby swans, I guess. The exceptionally long-lived bird shunned the female geese in Waimanoo Lagoon in Waikane, north of Wellington. I apologize for the pronunciations there. Instead, he chose a black swan named Henry. The couple were inseparable for 24 years until a young female swan called Henrietta stole Henry's heart, making Thomas the third wheel. Why did they choose to name Henry's partner Henrietta? Weird. But instead of moving on, Thomas helped raise

their 68 signets over the next six years and was often seen playing uncle to the hatchlings in their nest. His unusual relationships made him a local celebrity with many resident birdwatchers wiling away the day watching his romantic life unfold. Henry died in 2009 at the age of 30 and Henrietta soon flew off with another swan, leaving Thomas all alone in his old age, sometimes heard crying over his mate. Oh my god. New female geese arrived and without his soul mate around, Thomas finally fathered his own babies, only to have them stolen by another goose called George. What the heck? The elderly bird retired to the

Wellington Bird Rehabilitation Trust in 2013 as health issues mounted and cataracts sent him blind. As well as making other blind birds friends to spend his days with, Thomas helped foster a couple of broods of Cygnets along the way, the trust said. That was for nostalgic reasons and boy did he do a good job. He lived for corn on the cob and if it wasn't there when we put him back into his house at night he was not happy. The organisation which looks after up to 400 birds a year said Thomas proved there was life after sight for an elderly

fowl. You are a true inspiration for the work we do and the things we are able to achieve for the animals in our care, it said. He was such a special boy and a wonderful character. Thomas, our good friend, we miss you wholeheartedly, but may you rest in peace. Thomas will be buried next to Henry at the lagoon they called home for most of their lives after a public ceremony later this month." Which is obviously, has happened, that was six years ago. Six years ago. What a wonderful story. It's a fascinating story. It was a rollercoaster. There was some pretty sad stuff in there.

Yeah. All right. The answers are in for question number six. Final question here. Something's on please. Okay. I'm gonna take notes. Okay. Good luck with that. Yeah, prop these ones in prop work. What is the plot synopsis of the 2019 film Patrick? It's the true story of Irish footballer Patrick Hatrick McCatrick, whose middling career on the pitch was overshadowed by his true vocation, bank robbery. The film recreates McCatrick's infamous hat-trick when the folk hero robbed three banks across County Wicklow in three days. Will the guarder catch up to McCatrick or will the colourful villages of Ferrynock take him in as one of their own? That's option one. Option two. What a night. Patrick lived a simple and straightforward life, applying his carpentry skills in his family's

Danish nudist colony. But when his father suddenly passes away, Patrick is thrust in a position of responsibility as the head nudist. Worse than this, however, is that someone has stolen Patrick's favourite hammer. As Patrick goes on a quest to recover his favourite tool, he becomes entangled in a wicked web of sex lies and murder. He's making a lot of notes in that one too. Option 3. Who is Patrick? Where is Patrick?

Why is Patrick? Paulie Shaw stars as Patrick, a surfboard and skateboard and rap rockin' 68 year old who isn't quite ready to give up on the hard partying lifestyle. Patrick's favourite vape shop and marijuana dispensary is about to be demolished, and he only has 24 hours to convince the Mayor that the elderly residents of Dawton, New Jersey like to get blazed and party down just as much as the next guy. Can Patrick save Holy Moly's Smokey Holy, or will he finally have to start acting his age?

That's option 3 I reckon. Then you got Patrick, an accountant and father of three living in the suburbs, played by Jared Butler, starts to have visions of another life as a futuristic US Marine. As the visions become more and more detailed and realistic, he starts to suspect they are in fact memories. What follows is an action-packed sci-fi adventure as he discovers his everyday suburban reality is not as real as it seems. Well finally, Patrick is the horror story of a young boy named Joey, whose parents bring home a new toy from the local flea market. After finding out the toy is cursed, they try to save their son, but it's too late. One of the most terrifying films to date.

The New York Times." Okay, there's your five options. Who's turn are we up to? Matt, let me ask you a question here. Yep. Hit me. What year did this come out? Did you say 2000?

In the Polly Shaw one? What did it say 2017? In the Pauly Shaw one, it doesn't have a year in that one. What was the year? I think there was a year in the question. There was a year in the question 2019. I don't think Pauly Shaw was in a film in 2019 I've been really sure on the podcast before I think he's a bit of a I think he's a was in a film in 2019. I've been on the podcast before. I think he's a bit of a washed up style. I don't think he did it 2019. But I think that wouldn't like, these are obscured.

Yeah, straight to video type. Zach thinks there's a believability. I think Zach did the Paulie Shaw one. That's what I believe. I strongly believe. You're gonna lock that in? I think Patrick McHattrick Sounds too silly. Mm-hmm What's number three?

Number three is the one that you just ruled out. Oh the Polish or one number two number Two is the Danish nudist colony. I'm gonna look number two in the swords. That was writing There's a little bit of a gap when he was running and he started writing again When was I when was the wouldn't he wouldn't he just calling wouldn't there be a gap when he was writing and then he started writing again. When was I? When was the gap? Wouldn't he? Wouldn't he? Wouldn't there be a gap when it's his own answer?

Don't question. The process. Don't question the process. I think we have more time to discuss this. I think that you stopped writing in that and I wonder if you were thinking too much there because you were thinking. You were listening too much there because I was thinking you're listening too much. Hey, that's really interesting.

And that was a moment. It took a moment. There was a pause and you moved down a little bit. The game you're playing is trying to guess what Zach's going to guess. No, because I've no, because yeah, that's actually, yeah. No, you're right. Yes. Because why don't you, why don't you, because? Says all that tells you if it tells you anything

Wait, let me think about how I want to play this So you're currently kind of going with two. Yes the nudist colony I Think that's acted the Polly Shore one. That's where I think So I think I'll tell you something. I'm gonna tell you something true I'm gonna tell you something true and I promise you this to a sunglass not to say or do you just tell me? Yeah, I'm gonna start playing dirty and I'm gonna play dirty. I want you to understand the levels. I could play it here. Yeah, I could be lying to you

Yes, but I'm gonna be honest now now that could be a liar or it could be honest Hmm. All right, but I will tell you the absolute truth. I will in fact No, I don't want to show you the night because there was circling that happened I will read out to you number three silly questions Paulie Shaw sounds fake. No from me. I Thought I wrote something along the lines of number three for me. I Felt very confident was the one that was quickly written by someone who has had Paulie sure on their podcast Interesting interesting when you then brought it up. Yes to say I don't think it's that yes

I thought it was a very smart play to put it in my head. And in fact, I still believe that. I still believe it's that because I think that you would say, Oh, I think it's the Paulie Shaw one. If I was playing this, if I was playing it dirty, I would say something like, I don't think it's the Paulie Shaw one. That surely sounds like, that surely sounds like the guy sitting across from me. because then the guy sitting across from me would go well No, that's not mine. And if he thinks it's fake, maybe it's real So I believe with quite a degree of confidence that the Paulie Shaw one is yours

Interesting interesting interesting. Why else would I bring it up? Is he locked in he's locked in? I'm not locked in yet. Oh, okay. Looked in it Can I just hear the final one one more time? He locked in, he's locked in. No, I'm not locked in yet. Oh, okay. I'm not locked in yet. Can I just hear the final one one more time? Yes.

Patrick is the horror story of a young boy named Joe whose parents bring him home a new toy from the local flea market. Finally, the toy is cursed. They try to save their son, but it's too late. Can... Okay. I'm going either Danish or I'm going the final one. Is it correct? Can I hear?

Which one do you know everything Okay In the way of this she would be the one that he picks is gonna be very interesting. Okay, that's gonna tell you something complete Final decision. So what is it that I'm just trying to think. In fact what I'm going to do is I'm going to say what I remember each one to be. OK. And you can tell me if I'm roughly right. I'm not going to go off my notes. Oh no I am. Are they notes. So the first one is the Irish Patrick

McCattrick. Patrick McCattrick. But that was a true story. Yeah. So the name Patrick Patrick McCattrick had to have been a real name for it to work. Okay. Then number two was the Carpenter nudist. Yep. But was there murder right at the end? Yes.

He becomes entangled in a wicked web of sex lies and murder. On his search for the hammer. His favourite hammer. hammer number three Polly Shaw yep okay that's it that's all the questions you have that one number four Jared Butler accountant yep has he has visions that he starts to believe are actually memories and then yeah, the world isn't as it seems I've got see See see I didn't see does it say the genre? No, does it say the genre? Oh, yes I didn't put the C in. I literally thought it was C.

And then the last one, I don't think it's the last one. That's the toy horror one. Yeah. Sort of a Chucky type, right? I think you did Bolly Shaw. Okay. If that's the one you want to lock in, then go for it. That's the one that I came up with. And if you want to do that, if you want to throw in then go for it. That's the one that I came up with and if

you want to do that if you want to throw away. No it's not. I guess. I really do think you did three. I think you've really stepped up your game. Really? You think that I would go to the length to write one about Paulie Shaw? How was he on your podcast? You have a good time with him? No. Oh, no? No. Oh, that's very honest of you. Yeah. I'm going to go number... Was it great? I'm trying to think how well I know the career of Gerald Butler. I'm like, could he slip one in? I know the career of Gerald Butler. Could he slip one in? I one in? I feel pretty confident he could. But I don't think I've heard of that one so I think I'm going to go number 2.

I'm going to go number 2 as well. Patrick is... that kind of means you... If you both go number 2... I'm throwing it away anyway, aren't I? Maybe I'll just go number 1 to make it fun. For McCarrie Catrick? McCarrie Dairy? Patrick with Catrick.

You're really going to go Patrick with Cat back to good back trick. I think so Can I can I say genuinely as a friend? Don't go Patrick Patrick at that trick. There's no way that's real Unless it's mine, that's what I'm but why would I tell you not to do it? Don't do number one? Okay, number one really gonna go to that. I don't one. I don't go number one. Really? You're going to go to number one? No, I can't trust Zach anymore. He's really throwing me. He's got me in my head for this whole game.

I really don't really know. Can you explain why you're doing number one to me? Because I think I'm not going to win anyway. And you're so sure it's not Pauly Shaw because. Because I wrote it. Tell me why it's not. Talk me through. Because I wrote the Pauly Shaw one.

You did write the Pauly Shaw one. It's not the Pauly Shaw one. Talk me through why you think wrote the Pauly Shaw one. You did write the Pauly Shaw one. Yeah, it was on the Pauly Shaw one. Talk me through why you think each one is or isn't. So Irish footballer Patrick Hattrick McCattrick. Why is it? Well, because I think it's number two, but you've already guessed number two. Walk me through every one.

Okay. Well, we've got the time. Patrick McCattrick, I think, could be true. It's so ridiculous. It's got a ridiculous name in there that I feel like it could be true. But not true because not true because it is Ridiculous. Yeah number two. I felt the Danish film could be very true. Yeah, could be very real Paulie sure I wrote Paulie sure so don't think it can be Paulie sure

Could be Paulie sure cuz I've read it number four be Pauly Shaw. Yeah, yeah. Could be Pauly Shaw because I've read it. Number four. Jared Butler, Accountant, has memories. Yeah. Or it could be that one. It could be that one, but it also could be, what was the last one? Horror Story. Patrick.

Patrick the doll. Could also be that one. Cursed doll. I'm going to go Jared Butler. I don't know. I haven't seen many Jared Butler films. So I'm going to go with that one and I'm and I throw away my Patrick McHattrick one, even though that was my gut I like it cuz the way it is now is you've sort of locked in three

So I think you can save face unless it's one of the other two. Yeah, I'll go with Gerard. I'll go with Gerard And I will stick with two because I've pondered your. I think two is. Yeah. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. The Paulie Shaw one, that was Wilson Deluxe. Very good. They're good. That was very good. I like how you just started on that.

Thank you. I tried to throw you, but I didn't. What was the strategy there? That's fascinating. Well, I tried to, so because Paulie Shaw, I was like, I really wanted you to guess that, I really wanted you to guess that one. Like I was really trying to throw you for some reason, for no reason at all. I want to just throw everything at the wall and see what happens.

You kind of went crazy. But I didn't, then I started to second guess myself as I was doing it. So then I started getting stressed and then later on I was like, I'll just keep mentioning it. Hey, so I don't know why. And I said it was mine anyway. So I thought it was good because I was just throwing everything at it. Cause that opened up your one to be a No, but I thought that was good because it's- I was just throwing everything at a wall.

Because that opened up your one to be a possibility. It did. That's right. But of course your one was one that Zach really ruled out about the horror story, Charles Dole. The only reason I ruled it out is because there is another film called Patrick that I was worried this was and checked with Matt. There's another horror film called Patrick and I thought that if that real movie called

Patrick, if you were making a movie called Patrick and And I thought that if that real movie called Patrick, if you were making a movie called Patrick, it was a horror movie, you'd do the Google search. You'd be like, I can't call this movie Patrick. It wasn't because it wasn't a great one. It was a great one, but I just was using my knowledge of other films. I understand.

Patrick Hattrick McCattrick, that was also Wilson Deluxe. Good job, Wilson. All you needed to do, advice to Wilson, make the name slightly more realistic or drop the true story. One of those two things, I would have really believed that one. Yeah. Even if it was just changing Patrick, so it was like Johnny Hattrick McCattrick. Johnny Hattrick McCattrick. You can still get the nickname, you know what I mean? But I think I would guess that Wilson Deluxe was writing that maybe for a bit of fun.

And also it's okay. And you do do a double guess there. I think Sam's process, I went through a similar one, which was like, that's so silly that it feels true. Like it could be true. You know, that's what maybe drew the people to the story in the first place. Yeah. So yeah, the Pauly Shore and the Patrick McCatrick,

they were Wilson Deluxe's answers. Connie Wilson. I think I like that I just want to say for the record, I'm really glad that we saw some of the evil, dirty playing that I love to do right here at the end. I think it was great. I wasn't doing it and then I, even though I was already winning, I just did this just to fuck with you and that's disgusting and I'm sorry. And I will say that one of you is correct. Sam's gone for Jared Butler accountant. I think it's a Danish one.

Zach's gone for Danish nudist. Sam the Jared Butler film was Zach's and the Danish nudist was correct. That was so dirty to say that you didn't know the word. I know. That was, um. I thought that was obvious. That was such. No, it wasn't obvious. That was very, we, I wish we had a big wet type nickname for you. There's a look from Zem right now. I see it through the side glasses of like, he respects me a little less now. The gameplay there was, yeah, I don't know what, We need the audience to help us out with a nickname for you, because I want to say that's big, wet-esque. Yeah. Dirty is like, right?

Dirty, something with dirty, dirty. No, it's dirty. It's dirty, but it's like coming. It's dirty. Yeah. I think the audience can find something. Dirty, daring. Just I don't want it to sound too much like I'm a dirty old man. Yeah. Just get a little bit of the sharpness and a little bit of the manipulation in there. The snake is good. The Hitler beetle.

The Hitler beetle. The Hitler. Dirty beetle. I want to say the part I was really proud of, if I can point to my own gameplay, was getting you to list them all. Because my biggest worry was that you just kept not mentioning four. You kept not saying four. And I was like, how can I get him to talk about four?

Because if I bring up four and then don't guess it, it's over. So I spent most of that trying to be like, how can we get someone else to talk about four? And it took me a long time. It's a dirty game. It was also like, it was the most believable other answer as well. It was. It was. But it just kept getting lost. You kept going, you literally were like, one, two, three, five.

One, two, three, five. I'm like, someone, what someone talking about Gerald Butler. So while I'm adding up the scores, Rotten Tomatoes has a very divided score. Critics have it at 87%, audience 33%. Wow. A positive review in part by Mark Camode reads, a wry and oddly moving tale set in a world largely unencumbered by clothing, but riddled with intrigue, deceit, and the promise of self-discovery. But Kevin Maher on the other hand, another critic, did not like it writing, it's mostly glib

and pointless and provides Jermaine Clement with the kind of invigorating cameo role. Jermaine Clement? As an egomaniacal rock star that only reveals the shortcomings of everything around it. Wow, It's that one. I know this movie. Right. It's called Patrick. It's called Patrick. But I didn't know it was called Patrick. I think it's called The Patrick or something.

But I would guess so. But Jermaine Clement, is it the one that's in Gibberish? I don't... There is a full film in Gibberish. I know the one that you're talking about. I think so. Yeah. But there is a Jermaine Clement nudist movie that I just assumed was New Zealand.

But maybe, anyway, there you go. That's fantastic. What a great game. Nothing I've been at says it's in Jimrish. Thank you. Jimrish. I said a Jimrish version of it. Jimrish.

It's actually Jimrish. It's actually Jimrish. So the final score check. In third place, Bronze Medal. One point. Still on in the podium Sammy P thank you so much I'm sorry Sam but I think you're gonna come back stronger I hope so I think we're gonna get I think we're gonna get a much dirtier darker prouler manipulative higher in the next game because of this. I'm gonna go Wayne Fester on this.

Second place on four points is the house but way out in front of 11 points is Zachary Rowane. Thank you so much. Congratulations. Thank you. A very worthy adversary. This is a terrible podcast for me to come on. It is just destroying my brand. And your friend. And yeah, I've made you upset. You've upset me. But what fun. I should say, listeners, if you want to hear the aftermath, you've really got to go over to the confessions feed. If we have time. Which we do. We have time.

We have time. Listen to Confessions, which we're about to record, and we'll see what the dynamic is like there when Sammy P takes the reins. Where can people find you, Zach? At ZacharyRowain on most things. Yes, yes, yes. I've done some TikToks. Yes, yes, yes.

I went through a weird phase where I was making TikToks. So if you follow me on TikTok, don't judge me by the TikToks I've made. Very close up to his face, all the TikToks. Yeah, because then you can do it while you're pooping. Oh, that's clever, didn't know you did it while you're pooping. No, that's not true. That's not what I'm doing.

Everything's content, don't waste time. Yeah, geez. They all need a re-watch now. Guess which ones I'm pooping in. Sammy P, how about you? You can find me at Sammy Peterson Unofficial on Instagram.com and threads as well. You can find me also for my podcast,

You Two Drunk Aunties on TikTok and on Instagram as well. And Confessions, the podcast on Instagram and TikTok as well. I'm also doing the Cheerful Earful podcast coming up and my podcast Confessions is actually ending in May next year. So the one of the final live shows that are being at the Cheerful Earful Festival. Is it become too successful? Too successful. So I'm giving it up. So, yeah, so that'll be ending.

You can have it. So they're ending before May next year. So it'll be a few more live shows if you want to come and check one of those out. And I think the Cheerful Earful is such a great way to, I think I'm gonna piggyback off of this one because of your much more successful podcast than mine. I think come along, like come along and see all of the shows. All the shows, come see everything. What a great thing where we're all in on this together. Mission Zach shows on the same day as the Who Knew It and Do Go On Double C.

Come for a throuple that day. And in between, half an hour breaks in between to go drink some bodrigies. And have a pill and do a TikTok. Or, you know, the action. I was joking! Thanks so much for listening. Please give us a five star review. Tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it.

And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. now that you know it I've been Matt Strowett goodbye guys we don't have time for you to catch up all right we don't have time for you we're doing an improv scenario I'm getting clearly close to my oh my god such a director these days he is that's my agent do you want to answer it? I'll be quick. Yeah. Hello, Darcey. How are you? That's my agent. I'm very well. Hello. I'm just about to start recording a podcast. Come on. Hold on. That's my agent.

Jerry, yeah. Show me the money. Just as like an adult when you um, it gains a colon just doing there. Put your pants back on Smoking weed. Oh When you put the joint down So about that. Yeah, come on. Don't put any of this in Yeah, put your penis away, yeah, that's good. No, you put all that I just meant don't put in the bitware Put your penis away. Yeah, that's good. No, you can put all the... I just meant don't put in the bit where Zach's...

Zach's agent is more important than us. Yeah, because I don't think that reflects well on Zach. Or us. Or Zach. Well, Zach's already come in swinging his dick being like, oh, I have to have a half hour break in between. Yeah. And you were like... They're my rules.

And that was why you were saying put your dick away. We put dick away. Put your dick away. Metaphorical. No skin off my dick. That's what you're saying. your dick away. Metaphorical. No skin off my dick. That's what you're saying. That's not, mate. That's not skin off my dick.

No skin off my dick. I'll say that in your podcast if that's okay. Can you say dick? You know how with every Olympic sport when it first starts, it's got a real camaraderie and like a positive attitude and then someone decides to be a c***. Like everyone's like, I love how the skateboarding is really chill. And it's like at some point someone usually from a communist country, I'm going to say it, sometimes from America, they come along and they're like,

you know what, if I'm a c***, if I'm the only one that's a c***, I will win this. Yeah. You're allowed to say c***. Am I allowed to say c***? I think it would be getting bleeps. That's fun. I think that'll still work. I think it's odd. I reckon. I used to feel like I didn't like the bleep, but now I think the bleep's gone. I think the bleep's coming back. I like the bleep. The bleep's coming back. Yeah. Bleeps in Arrested Development Season 1 through 3 are some of the best. Yeah. Yeah. The bleep

elevates. But I think we're the ones, we're changing the game. Yeah. Not for the better. I'm not saying I'm good at the game or anything like that, but what was what should be just a fun little thing. It was like the coaches in the 70s and 80s of Australian rules football who started saying, hey, let's not drink beer during the game. The first guy that said that, he had a good couple of years. The game is enough. Yeah. So we were the first and then other players that are better than us will start playing dirty like we do.

And then it'll, but yeah, no, I've come in, I've played it twice. And I've fought dirty and I think Big Wet. With success too. And I've, yeah, and that's pushed Big Wet into being a much dirtier player. I love clips. I love chopping up clips. I love putting up clips. I love people watching the clips and enjoying the clips.

Oh, do you want to start cutting up my clips? Yeah, I'd love to cut out your clips for you. Me and Connor, your editor could do that for you. Yes. Yes. I charge $1,000 a clip. That is the main reason I'm doing it myself. Sure, sure, sure. This little show that could can't really afford that kind of... I love getting contacted by people, you know, who listen to podcasts and they say,

I'd love to cut your clips. I charge about $500 for two clips. And you're like, that is so expensive. Like, like, I don't know what your audience is when you're reaching out to podcasters. Yeah, like I think it's it's probably exactly the fair amount of pay. It sure is. But it's just hard against the budget of a podcast. That's right. Do you know that if every person that watches that clip joins your Patreon, you make that

money back and more. That's actually true. So are you saying spend money to make money? If you spend $500 on two clips of your podcast, you could make millions. Is that true? $500 on two clips of your podcast. Yes. You could make millions. Is that true? Do you know Joe Rogan started doing clips of his podcast and he made a hundred million dollars.

That's actually not true. Oh, wait, not true? I don't think that's true. I think that's true, but I've left out key details. A lot of details over the years, I think. Sam, do you want me to read out yours as written or do you want me to do a little quick tidy up? You can do a tidy up if you want. Okay. I've completely forgot the question as I started writing. Alright and the answers are in.

Yeah we are recording. This is a running start. This is a running start. I could feel that I was going to come in and be rude to you and then I thought no these microphones are on, these microphones are hot. They're hot. I'm going to come in and be like a nice guy. Although yeah. You could play a nice guy. Although, yeah. Play nice guy character. That would hurt because we've been being mean to you while you've been out of there. I was actually talking about Hollywood secrets. Oh, good.

I was going to come in and say, hmm, ah, X opportunity not happening for me, happening for me. And it would have revealed some insider goss. We need to hear this. That wasn't that exciting. It can be if you want to talk about something. No, it would have been a insider gossip. We need to hear this. That wasn't that exciting. It can be, if you want to talk about something. No, it would have been a nice little thing to do, but it clashed with something else I was doing.

So I don't think that's gonna happen. Did you send them my way or? We got to talk to Hollywood. I think we were up for most of the same things, are we? I said to my agent, I answered the phone, I said- I said- I said, in the world of advertising we are. We're all the same type in the world of advertising we are, we're all the same type in the world of advertising.

Man. Doesn't look like a Hemsworth. Yeah, yeah. The only interesting looking man. And then they end up casting a Hemsworth with a mustache. Yeah. Hiding behind that quirky looking guy. Not conventionally attractive. I feel like I've been in, in, in, uh, uh, I feel like I've been in audition rooms with like you guys before and it's always

been for quirky looking guys and they always just go for an equally hot man but with a mustache. Yeah. Or just a cap. Yeah. Just go, cause you put a cap on him and go, he's different. Or red hair, like a hot red head. They're like, that's, that's different or red hair like a hot redhead. They're like that's Sprite man once was the sprite man and I like thank you and they were like we're looking for a normal person They wanted someone with a normal realistic body and they wanted them in a in a bathing suit So I think I had to audition in a bathing suit and I was I was skinny of them But still not like it was still very embarrassing But like it said in her description we want a real person a real body I was like well, that's what they want No

Audition and then I've and that ad still runs from time to time and I cannot tell you how attractive that man is That man is buff by every Hollywood standard with the exception of the late 80s and like the last 10 years But he's got a hairy chest and a mustache. Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. It's all you need actually for a quirky character. We want it real quirky. Interesting. Yeah, every man look. This is what every man looks like. Every man. Every man looks exactly like this. Great. Love it. All right. We're gonna get- let's get cracking. Hi everybody by the way. Hi everybody by the way. Welcome to... Oh, we're not recording. No, why not?

We are recording. The lights are hot now. Connor, don't put that in. I, yeah, I'm pretty, I've done it in the past, where it's just their real name. The name, like, that might be one of their great, real names all time. It's so funny, yeah, absolutely.

That really made me laugh. That really like me laugh. That really like... You like that. I was surprised with how much... You know when you're like, I thought, I was like, this sounds fake. Audience will think I'm faking that, but I was like, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Doesn't take much. And Johnny... Dickshot. Johnny's so strong as well. I think Johnny sets up a fun surname really well. It sounds like a name you would come up with with zero thought. There was a... Hey, I'm Johnny Dickshot!

Just throwing something at a wall. That's an improv name. I'm pretty sure there was an early question that was what was the nickname of this footballer, John Manziel or something his name was, and his nickname was Johnny Football. Which was... I think Johnny really gets the... It does, yeah. And football just being the blank, like pretty fun.

Anyway. That's so good. Man, I forgot the question when you wrote it, but I have had fun with this. Yep. And I hope that's important to the game. It is. At this point in time. Yeah, it is.

Oh, I need a minute more. Take two if you need it. I like to call the shots on your book. Yeah, it is. I need a minute. Take two if you need it. I like to call the shots on your podcast. Yeah, that's fair enough. The dick shots. Oh, should we say, Sam, we're about to record an episode of Confessions. Maybe. We are.

We are. No, we are. Yeah, no, we are. We are, 100%. Okay. And Sam, you want to quickly tell the listeners who don't know what it's about? It's a podcast called Confessions, and I find Reddit Confessions every single week and read

them to two great guests to pick apart and give advice on those wonderful, wonderful confessions and they're usually scum of the earth people on Reddit.com. They're usually awful people that want to feel a little bit better about their life. But if you listen to it, you'll feel better about your own life because you have not done these terrible, terrible things. Maybe. We're not too sure. And yeah, this episode sponsored will be coming out this week as well.

Absolutely. So exciting. Monday, if we record it. The double banger. We will record it. We will. No, that was me. And no, this is, this is the number one.

You're my number one, you two. Well, you say that when you're on your phone. It's very deceiving with sunglasses on. We're not sure. We're not sure if we are number one. You're my number one, you two. Well, you say that when you're on your phone. It's very deceiving with sunglasses on. We're not sure. We're not sure if we are number one. We're number two. No, I was like, oh, if there's time, I'd love to slip away, have a quick meeting,

but that was only if there's time. I would never put a meeting of love you two. Look, I think there could be time. I've just got to finish writing this. I keep editing it. This is a hard one. You got it. I got this.

Sam, you did your first solo standup show in ages recently, is that, are you still touring that around? I'm gonna do it. Next year I'm doing a show with, I believe, Dave Warnocky and I are gonna do a show together during the festivals. And I'm also gonna be doing my solo show. I'm just going to pick a venue.

That's the hard thing at the moment is getting a venue. Getting the venue right. Getting it all sorted. So I'm hoping to do my solo show next year all around. And then Dave Warnocky and I are going to do our show together as well. Are you bringing back one of your classic? It's called Dave Warnocky Dates the Entire Audience. And we're going to be bringing it back.

I think it's been 10 years. That's exciting. Yeah. Pardon? Didn't know Dave was Polly. It's called Dave Warnocky dates the entire audience and we're gonna be bringing it back. I think it's been 10 years since Pardon no Dave was poly. Yeah, how's this guy over here? Well, he's he's picked up his body coming with jokes all of a sudden Yeah, I'm a funny guy. He seemed like a real my show that I haven't announced yet. Yeah I'll announce it here. Great Me and Alexi Taliopoulos are doing a test show up in Sydney for the Sydney Fringe. It's called Refused Classifications about Margaret and David. I haven't announced it yet, so don't tell anyone. Just go buy tickets secretly.

Yeah, yeah. This is great. Tickets are available on the Sydney Fringe website. There will be a Melbourne show soon. This is not an announcement. This is just a secret for your fans. Yeah, don't tell everyone. Don't tell anyone.

Exclusive, man. When we announce it, can you pretend to be shocked? Can you be like, oh my god, wow! Wowee! I would like listeners to comment something like, I'm so glad you're finally going public with this, I've been excited about it for a while, or something like that. Oh great, I knew about this from the start. Start gatekeeping the information.

Yeah, so just imply, but if you want to get in secretly and buy tickets, it's a test show. It's just- You're going to be wonderful. We're just testing the waters. We're doing a show about Margaret and David and censorship in Australia. Oh, how wonderful. We're trying to make it funny. And we'll do Melbourne as well.

And we'll do Melbourne, but we're just testing the waters. We're doing a few little secret shows of it. Well, congratulations. It sounds amazing. But I just thought this is a good opportunity to mention it. Yeah, quite an opportunity. But, you know, just go secretly buy it. Maybe you can tell your mum, but just in secret, just say,

Hey mum, hey mum, I know your big fan mum goes on for my kids. We'll announce it in a couple of weeks. And then you can do a comment going, yeah, oh, this is what he was hinting at. Hinting, just make sure you use the word hinting. Yeah, I don't want to pretend like I, because this is the worst marketing decision I've ever made in my life. I like it. Let's do this.

Yeah. Hey, I hope everyone's having a good time. I am. I'm having a good time. Lovely coffee as well, Matt, today. Coffee comes from Young Leopard. The great cafe. Great Cafe. Great Cafe.

Been there a few times myself. I've been tempted to buy the coffee cup. Oh, this is it. This is it. It's a nice one, huh? Very nice. Very nice. Very lucky.

Very lucky boy. I need to get myself a nice cup. Yeah. And you know, they charge what? 50 cents less per cup. It's not my Frank Green. Oh, Frank. Beautiful. Frank. Lucky Frank per cup. So I'm a Frank Green. Oh, Frank.

Beautiful. Frank, great name. I'm a big fan of that name. Great name. I've just got myself a nice brown one right here. Frank Brown. Frank Brown himself. Frank Brown.

Have you got any shows coming up, Matt, that we can talk about? Yeah, doing my 2023 show, Ding, in Brisbane for the Caxton Festival. Also doing a Who Knew It with Matt Short there. And then I'm going to be, I haven't announced this yet because I haven't fully locked it in, but going to film it here at Shebrow Studios. Oh, fantastic. I haven't watched Scam Artist. I don't know what it's called that, but Tommy Dassolo.

Yes. Especially, it looks fantastic that it was filmed here. It looks so good, yeah. Yeah, I need to actually watch that and check it out. Yeah, the work he's done with his animation. Yeah. And then the production values that she brought to plug stuff that you haven't seen yet. I've seen I've seen clips of it and it looks fantastic. I just mean me. I haven't.

I haven't seen clips. I will. I haven't seen clips. I won't even watch them. I do like your clips. I love what you're doing with TikTok. Thank you so much. You saw that one I did about it. Saw that one you did. Six weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. And the the $500 saw that one I did about it. Saw that one you did. Six weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the $500 minimum that you spend for one clip. Yes.

Minimum. Because Zach says you can make about a million dollars if you spend that one. Yeah, I think I did. 100 million, 100 million. 100 million is exactly in the ballpark of that. How long before that money drops because... I don't think it does.

I'd never drop something. You make it but you don't get it. The dollar always stays the same with clips. It never, there's no inflation and there's nothing. I mean drop into the bank account but. Oh it drops. Yeah. Don't worry about it.

It's liquid straight away. Okay. It drops to the floor. Runs through your fingers. Pure cash. Cha-ching. Let me just say this. Cha-ching.

Have you ever had a guest that has written the same exact answer before on this podcast? As the correct one? Yes. Great. What about, what about? I know it, but they've never been invited back. No, they will never will.

You can't have a brainiac on. What about two guests that have written the same fake answer? Never had it. Like for shorter ones? Yeah. They've been similar. It was interesting. We didn't talk about it, but you both went for Blue Beetles.

The Blue Beetles. Oh, Blue Beetle. the movie. Is that what you were thinking? Nah, I just went blue. I just typed in blue because I was like ladybug. You always wear blue, don't you? I love blue. I always wear full blue. But that does happen a bit where two guests will use the same word or and it yeah, I don't know what that is but there must, it's called magic. It's gotta be more than a coincidence. Yeah. It's gotta be magic. It's gotta be magic. It's called the dark arts. Yes. And I don't like it one bit. Is that how you're going there, you all right? Yeah, yeah. Nearly done. Nearly done. Nearly done. More than three sentences? More than words. Moose has taken his time with it. I think Zach's will be very concise and it's going to be well thought out. Whereby hopefully, make sense. Hopefully

it hasn't got any of that moose stuff in there again. Yeah, no, I've taken the squiggly lines and I've taken the advice. Great. I've gone, okay. Show some good stuff in there. Do you want me to change that to that? Okay, I will. Show some good stuff in there. I've just actually drew it with a pencil.

Yeah, yeah. It's easier for me if I just draw what I think it looks like. Yeah, and you wrote it in Windings. I did Windings. You can convert that, I believe. Yeah, I'm converting it now. Windings is just easier for me if I just draw what I think it looks like. Yeah, and you wrote a word. Windings. I did Windings. You can convert that I believe. Yeah, I'm converting it now. Windings is just easier for me. It's still processing, but I think we're gonna get. It's my Loat subject, Windings. Really? Language other than English for International Business, that's what we did at school. Loat. Did you do Loat? Yeah, I did Loat. Yeah. I did Italian, Indonesian and Mandarin. I did Indonesian and Japanese. Fantastic. I couldn't even think of it. How about this? Salamat Puggy. That means hello, right? I

believe so. Yeah, Salamat Puggy. Salamat Puggy. Salamat Puggy. I tell you what, it was literally decades ago that I learned it for two years, but I wish I paid more attention. I really do. I remember there a phrase that I really loved and I don't know. I can't, I can't type it out. So I've never been able to figure out what it means, but it was, it was something like bukala buku buku mu. Oh, okay. That sounds good.

It just really feels nice. Yeah. But I don't, I can't figure out what it means. And I'm sure, I'm sure that was a real thing. We had a thing that is like any time you do it, like drama, like vocal warmups. And I don't know if any other school ever did it. But ours was for some reason it was you get hot, you get louder and softer doing this. But it was, um, check, check, cool it, check, check, cool it, check, check,

coffee, sir, check, check, coffee, sir, coffee, sir, Lunga coffee, sir, Lunga, Kaka, she Lunga, Kaka, she Lunga, and go for as long as you need it. Cool, Malarik, cool, Malarik, Cheche, cool, le, Cheche, cool. You know, and it goes for ages, it goes for as long as you need it. To everyone who was warmed up. And I was like, oh, how awful would that have been to walk past those drama students doing that? That is so good. For ages as well. Man, I like that.

Yeah, it's good, isn't it? We can do it before we do, maybe, another episode of Confessions after this. We're definitely going to do it. Well, it depends how long he is taking to write. This is why I said this is gonna take a long time I just presumed that everyone spends four hours doing their answer. No, no, no, no. Mine was so damn quick. This is just a Mission Zach thing No, no, this is your what you're doing is more common. Sam has really banked out a plot synopsis of it. I think he's a guy. And oh, I think mine's actually quite good. I did do it that quick that took me

I remember a song we learned in Mandarin. Well, I demand her in primary school for years So was it a chick? It was it wasn't quite but it was it was a Lot more somber and was about family Moses say make mine some brunette mama. How? Baba how? mama Baba neem and how oh Grr-grr how may may how? Grr-grr may may neem and how

Nice yeah, I've sent mine to edit it to make it read, you know Make it rain Did you do any did you do a lot? Did I do a lot? Did you do did you do like Japanese at school? Did you so a lot? Did I do a lot? Did you do like Japanese at school? Did you do? I did Japanese for the first little bit of primary school and then because I was in like a country primary school the teacher that taught Japanese left and then someone else came that knew Indonesian so like you learned Indonesian. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. So then I learnt Indonesian. We had guitar too, a bit. We had taught Indonesian for a bit. Yeah.

And then I did Italian for a lot of high school. In fact, I didn't listen much and I didn't try very hard in Italian. I wasn't very good at it. And then in year nine, there was an opportunity to go on a school trip to Italy. It wasn't like- What? I know. I wasn't like- Paid for by the parents. That was the one, wasn't it? Yeah. It wasn't like a fan's offer, I think I've told you. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't like, I didn't go to like a

fancy school where everyone went to Italy. It was like, one of the teachers there had a house in this village and she was like, I can match you with families over there and 15 of you, if you pay for it, can come. And I did this application and I got in, because mostly girls applied, so that pretty much every boy that applied got in in order for there to be some equity. And then I just, I got in and I just wasn't very good at Italian.

And then from getting into going to Italy, I had about two months, and then I really, really listened for that two months. So that's where we learned animal names and like types of transport. So I can tell you the Italian word for crocodile, I can tell you the Italian word for bus, but nothing else. But nothing else. Where to the shops?

I can't tell you that, but I can tell you if, if, uh, il Cocodrillo. Oh, that was nice. I like that. Hippopotamol. Hippopotamol. Autobus. Il tassi. A star war.

But I can't tell you anything else. Yeah, great. Why can't they all sound like someone pretending to say those words in Italian? Yeah, pretending to say them in Italian. I remember the ones that sound like the words in English. Hippopotamus. Hippopotamus.

Hippopotamus. Modest moose. Modest moose. Modest moose. Modestopotamor Modest moose Modest moose