Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 14 - Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features returning guests, Jess Perkins (Do Go On, Simply the Jest) and Dave Warnek...e (Do Go On, Book Cheat)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt, Jess and Dave's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew it with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week is host of the Do Go On podcast, it's Jess Perkins. Woo! Our second contestant is also the host of the Do Go On podcast, it's Dave Warnke. Woo!
Starting point is 00:01:02 Great to be here, hello. How does he get these guests? I look, I went through your managers. It took a long time. Yeah. I tell my dad. They drove a hard bargain. I say do not reply to that guy.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah. That's why I ended up having a barge down their door. Yeah. They said no one's home and you said I'm looking at you. Yeah. And this is an office. I'm looking at you Eric. Eric. Fucking Eric. We've got to'm looking at you, Eric. Eric.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Fucking Eric. We've got to fire Eric. Yeah, Eric. Eric, if you're listening, you're fired. But anyway, yeah, great to be here. Matt, was it? Eric didn't pass on your name. He's a terrible manager.
Starting point is 00:01:38 All right, well, you've both been on the show before. I believe I'm the carryover champion. Yeah, sure. I say that every time. Do you? Is that just a fun little bit you do? Actually, I haven't done it since I was last been on with you, Jess, but I do it every time I'm on with you.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Well, I can't wait to crush you. For new listeners, the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct. Sounds complicated but it's not.
Starting point is 00:02:09 You'll understand once we get playing. Are we ready to go? Yippers. Very ready. Here is question number one. This one comes from listener Bella from Sydney. The question is, what is the Dave rule? The Dave rule.
Starting point is 00:02:24 What is the Dave rule? D-A-V-E. What is the Dave rule? The Dave rule. What is the Dave rule? D-A-V-E. What is the Dave rule? All right, now while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house
Starting point is 00:02:43 and I've put in two of my own fake answers, often with the help of the question writer for each question. And I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round. Seems fair, but the probability actually favors me. The house. And the house always wins. So if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know this is not always the case.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod, which is linked in the show notes. I just want to say no matter what the rule is, I'm going to have to start instigating it in my life. Oh, I see. The Dave rule. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:22 I haven't heard of it before, but no matter what it is. You'd think you would have. I'm committing. No one's ever enforced the Dave rule on me. All right. The, I see. The Dave rule. Okay. I haven't heard of it before, but no matter what it is. You'd think you would have. I'm committing. No one's ever enforced the Dave rule on me. All right. The answers are in. First question. What is the Dave rule? Here are your five options. No one called Dave is allowed in any pub in Wales before 1pm. It's an inside joke in the Silicon Valley where if a work team includes as many women as it does people named Dave, it has achieved acceptable gender balance. It's a rule that refers to the interchangeability of names based on the example of the formal David being able to turn into the casual Dave.
Starting point is 00:04:00 A Dave must never lose his virginity or don't allow vegans equality. Don't allow vegans equality. The Dave rule. The Dave rule. Okay. Okay. There was one in there I just did not understand. The name.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Interchangeability one? Yeah. Can you read that one again? A rule that refers to the interchangeability of names based on the example of the formal David being able to turn into the casual Dave. Right, but it doesn't explain what the rule is. Well, I think it's saying. Yes, it does.
Starting point is 00:04:30 It's saying. Jessica becomes Jess, Jesse. Yeah. Matthew becomes. Jessica's a name that fits the Dave rule. Yeah. But I don't know. What's a name that doesn't?
Starting point is 00:04:40 Zoe. Yeah, Zoe doesn't fit the Dave rule. Zave. Zave doesn't fit the Dave rule. Zave. Zave doesn't fit the Dave rule. No. It does because Zave. Zoe does fit the Dave rule. Oh.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Zave. Am I getting it? No. I think you're getting further away somehow. Give us those one more time. No one. Maybe not that one because we'll just lose Dave again. No one called Dave is allowed in any pub in Wales before one.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah. The inside joke in the Silicon Valley where if there are as many women one because we'll just lose Dave again. No one called David is allowed in any pub in Wales before one. Yeah. The inside joke in the Silicon Valley where if there are as many women as Dave's, it's gender balance. Yep. The interchangeability of names. Dave must never lose his virginity or don't allow vegans equality. I'm going to go the Silicon Valley one. Silicon Valley football.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yeah, it's a pretty funny in-joke, especially because it's usually still pretty dude heavy. Okay. Sometimes if you don't understand something, you've got to go with it. You've got to look that in the eye and say, I'm going to tame you. I don't understand you. I don't understand you. But I want to.
Starting point is 00:05:40 But I want to. I'm not here to hurt you. Lock it in. The Dave Rule is the whatever that one was. I'm not here to hurt you. Option three, I'm not here to hurt you. You're patting it on the nose. It's okay. God, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh we've also, if my one's right, achieved that because Matthew
Starting point is 00:06:25 is the Matt, Jessica is the Jessica. Am I understanding now? Yeah. You both apply to the Dave rule. Yeah, I would think most names do probably. Well, certainly in Australian culture we'll shorten anything. Even when I said Zoe, I was like we'd call her Zoe. Zoe.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Oh, that's right. But, you know. The casual Zoe. Yeah, but I think it's probably names that are very commonly used and commonly shortened. You know, it's a well-known shortening of it. All right, well. Charles to Charlie, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Yes, okay. And Charlie being the informal. Yes. And longer. That's right. Oh, yeah. No, same amount of letters. But in terms of syllable count, sorry.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Charlie. Charles. That's how I say Charles. Charles. Ah, Charles. King Charles. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. It might surprise you.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Don't allow vegans equality. That was written by the howl. Oh, yeah. Of course the house has that opinion. Very oppressive, this house. Yeah, this house sucks. That was written by the Howell. Oh, yeah. Of course the house has that opinion. Very oppressive, this house. Yeah, this house sucks. Hey, it's the Dave rule. Damn it.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Hey. Well, it's not, though, is it? Ah. It was made up by the oppressive house. Exactly. That's true. A Dave must never lose his virginity. That was written by Jess.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Not a rule, more of a guideline. Yeah. More of a way of life. Yeah. Perfectly acceptable one. No one called Dave is allowed in any pub in Wales before 1pm. That was written by Dave. That was me.
Starting point is 00:07:52 That's a good one. Except it's not. A rule that refers to the interchangeability of names. That was written by the house. Oh, that's why it didn't make any sense. Sucked in house. Bella wrote it. I actually reworded it and I probably made it sound more confusing,
Starting point is 00:08:09 unfortunately. Damn it. Meaning the correct answer is the Silicon Valley in-joke that Jess got. So one point to Jess, one point to the house. Well done. One point for us for achieving the Dave rule here today. No, just a point for me and one point for the house. There's no point for us.
Starting point is 00:08:24 You don't get a point. What about the Dave? Point for the house. There's no point for us. You don't get a point. What about the Dave? Point for the Dave. There's no point for the Dave. No point for you, but one point for the Dave. Can you get a quick score check? Dave's on zero. The Dave is on one.
Starting point is 00:08:40 All right, I'll allow that. We'll allow the Dave to be a separate category. Now there's three people beating me. Yeah. All right, I'm allow that. We'll allow the Dave to be a separate category. Now there's three people beating me. Yeah. All right, I'm putting the Dave in. So you're giving the Dave one point. The Dave gets a point, yes. All right, we're up to question number two.
Starting point is 00:08:56 It is from Rachel Johnson from Melbourne. The question is, and it's a world record question. I love them. I'm always nervous about these because Dave is a world record fanatic. Yeah, loves them. So he's every chance to already know it, but let's find out. The question is, what world record did Olympic gold medalist Sally Pearson set in September 2013?
Starting point is 00:09:19 It's not an Olympic event. So it's something outside of her normal skills. Sally Pearson had a world record? That's pretty cool. My family claimed to be related to Sally Pearson, or the Pearson side of my family, to be fair. You claim it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:37 I don't think we are, but when she was, you know, at the height of the Olympics, we were like, yep, one of ours. Yep. Cousin Sal. Gan Piro. We also obviously claim Kieran Perkins. So while they're writing their answers, here's some more information on the Dave Rule.
Starting point is 00:09:56 According to Wiki, the Dave Rule is an inside joke in Silicon Valley start-up culture that posits that if a work team includes as many women as it does people named Dave, it has achieved acceptable gender balance. The joke is in reference to Silicon Valley's infamous gender gap. The concept was in use in the Carnegie Mellon School of Computer Science under the name Dave to Girl Ratio or Dave to Female Ratio at least as early as 1999. It was first documented in Silicon Valley, which employs many Carnegie Mellon SCS alumni under the name Dave Rule in 2014 by Guardian newspaper correspondent Rory Carroll in an article about a sexual harassment lawsuit filed against dating
Starting point is 00:10:39 application startup Tinder by a female former executive. Yeah, so it's a bit of a fun in-joke with a grim underbelly. Yeah, it felt like it was a grim in-joke, you know, like, oh, we've got as many women as we do, Dave, so we've done it, you know. It felt a bit crook but also a little bit funny but, you know, depends on the tone, doesn't it? I think it's funny because it's true. Yeah, self-aware. Good first step. Yeah, that's right, isn't it? Saying because it's true. Yeah, self-aware. Good first step.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Yeah, that's right, isn't it? Saying you've got a problem. Too many Daves. Yeah. Oh, Dave isn't the problem here. Oh, hang on. I think I've misunderstood. The Dave is.
Starting point is 00:11:15 No, I think Dave is the problem. All right, your answers are in. So here's question number two. What world record did Olympiclympic gold medalist sally pearson set in september 2013 she collated the largest collection of toy emus most hot dogs eaten while completing a hundred meter hurdle event longest distance skied on grass while performing a handstand she ran the fastest time in a 100 metre egg and spoon race, or a record number of strangers guessed her name was Sally based on her vibe.
Starting point is 00:11:54 I think I missed the hurdles one. Most hot dogs eaten while completing a 100 metre hurdle event. Because Sally Pearson, she won gold in the hurdles. I believe so. I think she was a hurdler. I mean, your own family. Yes. If you don't know your own flesh and blood. I can picture her hurdling.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Yeah. And so therefore. I can picture her yodelling. I can picture her with a hot dog. But I've got a great imagination. You do. A vivid one. If you don't mind, can we have them one more time, please?
Starting point is 00:12:22 Collating the largest collection of toy emus, hot dogs eaten while hurtling, longest distance skiing on grass while handstanding, fastest time in a 100 metre egg and spoon race, or record number of strangers guessing her name was Sally based on her vibe. I went first last time, so you can go first this time, Dave. Okay. We know she's got speed. That's right.
Starting point is 00:12:43 We know she likes eggs. Yes. We know that to be true. We know she's got speed. That's right. We know she likes eggs. Yes. We know that to be true. We know that to be true. I'm thinking the egg and spoon race one. Great. I could see that being something that's adjudicated on. A couple of the other ones I'm like, are they adjudicating that?
Starting point is 00:12:56 Yeah. Is this adjudicatable? Yeah. Can you adjudicate this? I mean, all of them technically you could if you went out of your way and got Guinness there. Yeah. They love a wacky record.
Starting point is 00:13:06 They do, especially with someone who's got a bit of fame about them. You know, Sally Pearson at the time, she's hip, she's hot, she's happening. But I'm still going to go the egg and spoon race. No worries. What about you, Jess? I was going to go egg and spoon race as well. Which, of course, you can.
Starting point is 00:13:19 I know, but, you know, am I here to have fun or am I here to win? I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet. I think both can be the same. At the moment, you're, am I here to have fun or am I here to win? I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet. I think both can be the same. At the moment you're doing neither. Okay. I've got one more point than you do, champ. See?
Starting point is 00:13:31 She's not having fun. I'm going to go egg and spoon race. All right. So answers are locked in. But honestly, sick of your attitude. Were you tempted by any of the other ones? For example, one that I may have written? It was interesting.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Two of them are quite similar. The most hot dogs eaten while competing the 100-meter hurdle and the fastest with the egg and spoon. I guess one's not eating the egg. So you're just saying. If I understand egg and spoon right, that's you're eating an egg with a spoon. But we do know she liked eggs.
Starting point is 00:14:02 We do know that. We know that for sure. What you've got to remember is Sally Pearson loves eggs. Loves eggs. Unlike her second cousin, Jess Perkins. Hates eggs. Hates eggs. And unlike that, who hates sex.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Who were you telling you were related to? Just anybody who asked, really. No, it was mostly. Sorry, are you related to Sally Pearson? It was my uncle whose last name is Pearson would say, oh, yes, I'm related to Sally Pearson. I'll occasionally do that, call Rod Stewart Uncle Rod. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Oh, Uncle Rod. Yeah. Cousin Sal. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. She collated the largest collection of toy emus. That was written by Rachel slash the house. The most hot dogs eaten while competing at the 100 metre hurdle event. That was Jess.
Starting point is 00:14:46 I'd forgotten she was a hurdler. So well done. A record number of strangers guessed her name based on her vibe. That was the house. Very good. That was very good. She does look like a Sally. The longest distance skied on grass whilst performing a handstand.
Starting point is 00:15:02 That was Dave. Meaning the correct answer is she ran the fastest time in the 100 metre egg and spoon race. One point for Dave. One point for Jess. No points for the house. No points for the Dave. No points for the Dave.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Yeah, Dave, are you so the hands on the skis? That's what I was imagining. Skiing handstand. That's pretty fun. And I thought that someone who's very physically fit probably got some great dexterity balance. Downhill on the grass. And you wouldn't have to go that far for it to be a record,
Starting point is 00:15:29 what, 40 metres or something? Yeah. Yeah, great. I think that was. Jess, were you tempted at all by my answer? I actually was, to be honest. It does sound like the kind of silly bullshit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:39 They love silly bullshit. All right. So, sorry, Jess, I don't understand what the Dave is. Does the Dave get a point there or no point? Yeah, I think the Dave gets a point there. Nice. Go the Dave. All right.
Starting point is 00:15:53 The scores are Dave on one point, the house on one point, Jess on two points and also on two points is the Dave. Yeah, the Dave. I don't understand what's going on. He wants control early. So we're up to question number three, and this one comes from two people wrote the same question. No.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Which has happened a few times, but it's often happened after I've used the question and then someone else will come in with the same question, which is interesting. Do people hit you up and say, hey, I wrote that? Not as yet, but there'd be a few people being like, come on. Yeah, if that happens. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:16:28 Come on. What the fuck? Guys, come on. Oh, my God, what the fuck? Yelling on the bus. That's me listening to Matt's podcast, but for another reason. What the fuck? What is wrong with him?
Starting point is 00:16:42 The Dave, what does it mean? Yeah, it's not fair. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. This one was written by both Jim Bates from Sackets Harbour in New York. Sackets. Jim Bates comes up with a lot of good questions. I feel like I'm calling his name out every second week.
Starting point is 00:16:56 And Adam King from Brooklyn in New York. Adam King. And the question is, what is the name of the background character played by George Lucas in Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith? And I think, Dave, is this your favourite Star Wars? Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Can you tell us anything else about it? I love anything based around revenge. Yes. And finally, The Sith Rises. Is this the one where or is the one you like the one with Darth Maul? Is that this one or is that a different one? That is episode one. That's the Phantom Menace. Sorry, I apologise. Which I did love as a kid. Because you had the hat.
Starting point is 00:17:30 I had a Darth Maul hat given to me for my ninth birthday. And then we quickly went on a holiday to the Gold Coast with the family and I wore that hat everywhere on the Gold Coast, representing my favourite movie. That's so good. Star Wars episode one of the family. And I in part put this question in because this week's Do Go On episode that the three of us host is about the Star Wars holiday special.
Starting point is 00:17:48 It's our annual Christmas episode. So if you like Star Wars or even if you don't, I think it's a bit of fun either way. I tell the story of, yeah, one of the most critically panned films of all time and it's a pretty wild ride. It was good fun. But the question here is, George Lucas, what's his background character called?
Starting point is 00:18:07 Yeah, so he plays this very small character in the background, but it's got a name. What is the name of that character? While you're writing your answers. No, that's fine. What movie is it? It is Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith. Yes, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:23 And while you're writing your answers, I will let the audience know a bit more about Sally Pearson's record. According to NBC Sports, Pearson, who was 27 at the time and the 2008 Olympic champion, smashed the world record for the 100-meter Egg and Spoon Run. She conquered a green path laid outside a holiday inn in downtown Sydney where traffic had to be stopped. She completed the run in 16.59 seconds. Pearson easily broke the previous mark of 19.39 seconds set by New Yorker Ashrita Furman. Furman owns more than 100 world records,
Starting point is 00:19:00 including the world record for the most world records. Oh, yes. We've come across Ashrida's fantastic work before. I'm a big fan. Some sort of a hero to you? Yes, I look up to him in every way. Pearson said after the run, I'm pretty stoked to take it. I never thought my first world record would be in the egg and spoon.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Guinness World Record spokesman Chris Sheedy told the Daily Telegraph, I think that one will stand for a while. Yeah, that's really got to run pretty quick to catch up. And he's 68 years old now. All right. The answers are in. Is yours good, Dave? Yeah, I've seen the movie.
Starting point is 00:19:35 It's my favourite, so I know the answer. But then you have to put in a convincing fake answer. I have misunderstood the game. It's too late. Here is question number three. What was the name of the character that George Lucas portrayed in Star Wars Revenge of the Sith? Jengot Castle?
Starting point is 00:19:54 Vending Machine Repairman? Omar Degrass? Omar Degrass. Baron Papanoida? Or Reg Grundos? They're all fantastic. Baron Papanoida. Where does he get his ideas?
Starting point is 00:20:17 I assume he named himself. I'll do this role. He went through the full casting process. Can we have them again? Jengot Kessel. Vending Machine Repairman, Omar De Graz, Baron Papanoida, Reg Grundos. Do you know the answer? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Do you? Did you hear the same answer twice? That's the one. Oh, I see. Because I knew it. I don't know. But you get to go first, I believe. Okay. What was the first one first, I believe. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:46 What was the first one? Changot Castle. I think it's, I think, I mean, they're all pretty good. It's probably not Vending Machine. That would be so funny if it was. It's so good. But I don't, I mean, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but, you know, I've seen bits and pieces
Starting point is 00:21:07 and I don't remember seeing vending machines. So it's probably. So you don't think they need repairing? Exactly. There'd be no need for a vending repair. Well, if you look closely, he's confused. He's already got his arms up going. What do I fix?
Starting point is 00:21:23 He's wandering around the desk Looking for a vending machine Sorry, can you tell me Was there a canteen around here? I'm assuming there would be a vending machine Yeah, maybe the cantina Yeah I'm going to go the Baron one Baron Papanoida
Starting point is 00:21:37 For Bob I'm also going to go Baron Papanoida Because it's my favourite name I've ever heard It's really fun Sometimes I get names stuck in my head And I think this is going to be one of them. Baron Papanoida. That's very good.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yeah, it's fantastic. How do you spell Noida? You're sure it's not? N-O-I-D-A. Omar de Grasse. Omar de Grasse. That's good. The first one was good.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Jengot Seigel. Jengot Kessel, I think. Kessel. That is good. I should say, I don't know if I'm pronouncing any of these correctly. I thought it also could be the vending machine repairman. It could be vending McCain repairman. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:11 It could be. He's right. Pronounce it wrong, idiot. Okay, let's go through who wrote the answers. Reg Grundos. That was the house. Outside of Australia it won't make much sense, but it's sort of rhyming saying for underwear or Reg Grundy's.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Reg Grundy's. He was a TV producer and somehow his name became synonymous with jocks. I guess because Grundy's rhymes with undies. But jocks is also going to be confusing for some. Omar de Grasse, that was Bob, just Bob Perkins. Honestly, that is convincing. I panicked. Vending machine repair man.
Starting point is 00:22:46 That was Dave. No. That was me. Can you believe it's not real? I can't. So it's either Jengok Kessel or Baron Papanoida, which I think probably most people would have assumed at first that it was one of those two.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Jengok Kessel was written by Jim, such the house. The correct answer is Baron Papanoida. Baron Papanoida. Papano got it. Baron Papanoida. Papanoida. That's so. That is great. So Papanoida. Can you change your name?
Starting point is 00:23:12 Can I change my name? Yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely you can. That's one of the Dave rules. Dave Papanoida. So one point to Jesse, one point to Dave, none to the house, any to the Dave here. I don't know if the Dave did much there.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Yeah, no, not this round. Sorry, the Dave. Oh, okay. I'd advocate for a point for him. Why? I just thought he did a lot. Who is he? What's happening?
Starting point is 00:23:36 But, like, do you not want everybody to be kind of tied? You want to lose. Okay, yeah, two points to the Dave the day oh wow okay i was only saying one no because you fought it split the difference one and a half no you're being a butthead it's two to the day two to the day okay okay well i'm confused and listeners at home uh don't worry about this nonsense um just forget that the daves it's hard to forget such a charismatic presence so a quick score update we've got the house on one we've got dave on two we've got jess on three but having the lead it's the dave on four what a guy like a real fan favorite of the people's champion the dave
Starting point is 00:24:21 new listeners are gonna be baffled i be confused. Why are they starting with this episode if they're a new listener? Why are we the last one in the feed? I don't know. But we're on the first step. If you come and listen for us, and I assume you are, go listen to the first one. I think this is easier for new listeners because they go, oh, I guess this is a weird thing to do.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Old listeners, 15 in the- They've never mentioned The Dave before. People might be coming because they've seen the show featured on Apple Podcasts under the shows they loved of 2022. Congratulations. Thank you so much. What an achievement. I just wanted to plug.
Starting point is 00:24:52 That's genuinely a great thing. Oh, yeah, it was dope. So you pressed about that? I got an email about it. I'm like, holy moly. I'd frame that email. Was it from Steve Jobs? It was from Jobsy, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Wow. Incredible. Got his hands on. He was so ahead of his time. He was sending emails before he even passed. Amazing stuff. Oh, Dave. In the future.
Starting point is 00:25:08 You can't tell someone bad news like that so casually. Okay. Jobsy. Before he passed by. Oh, sorry. Yeah, while he was moving. He was riding on an iPod. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:19 She was on an iPod Nano sending emails. Incredible. That is good. Question number four is up next. This one comes from Kirk Reitmeier from Calgary in Alberta, Canada. And the question is, apart from playing Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, what was James Doohan known for? Apart from playing Montgomery Scott on Star Trek,
Starting point is 00:25:40 what was James Doohan known for? Doohan. What was he doing? James Doohan. James, yeah. And. What was he doing? James Doohan. James, yeah. And what's his character, Montgomery Scott? Montgomery Scotty. Beam me up, Scotty, on the original TV show.
Starting point is 00:25:53 So back in the old days. James Doohan. How do you spell his last name? D-O-O-H-A-N. That is not on. No, I'm not. I was just, Doohan. Yeah. Okay. Like Mick Do'm not. I was just doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Okay. Like Mick doing. Sure. Does that help? No, I'd still be saying how do you spell that? Have you already written your answer? Yeah. You're a freak.
Starting point is 00:26:14 I know what he did. Dave, you're supposed to come up with convincing fake answers. Yeah, I specify that very clearly, fake answers. Baron Papanoida. Baron, sorry, Dave, let me tell you a little bit more about Baron Papanoida. I want to hear so much more about this. Adam King wrote, who was one of the question writers, I always remember the name Baron Papanoida because it sounds like George
Starting point is 00:26:37 named himself after three pizza brand mascots, the Red Baron, Papa John and the Noid. What's the Noid? The Noid I think was a big maybe Domino's. It was never made it over here, but, yeah, it's in the do-go-on hat as a suggested topic. Yeah, Domino's pizza crowd in the 80s. But apparently there's a wild story there.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Anyway, Jim Bates, the other question writer, wrote that Jengok Kessel, he wrote that option, translates to tiny beard in Indonesian. No. That's great. That was very convincing. Yeah, it worked out perfectly. But, yeah, I used to, for a little while, I was big on George Lucas' beard.
Starting point is 00:27:21 You talked about that quite a while. It doesn't. It's too small. It's a tiny beard. Anyway, according to Screen Rant, Baron Papanoida's debut was in Revenge of the Sith but was easy to miss. Easy to miss. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:27:36 On Coruscant. What did you call me? Just before Anakin and Palpatine have their conversation about Darth Plagueis the Wise. I remember this scene. The Baron can be seen in the hallway of the Opera House accompanied Macon and Palpatine have their conversation about Darth Plagueis the Wise. I remember this scene. The Baron can be seen in the hallway of the opera house accompanied by his daughter, Senator Chi Ikwe, who was appropriately played by Katie Lucas, one of George Lucas' daughters.
Starting point is 00:27:56 There was originally conflicting information regarding their species before an episode of The Clone Wars confirmed it to be Pantoran. What do you think? Too small? Yeah. Jess is looking at the beard. Yeah. It's a tiny beard.
Starting point is 00:28:11 It's too small. And what about you? Look up his character, Baron Pepinoida. He looks pretty funny. The Baron's first name, how funny is this? Initially his first name, the character's first name was Not-Lewisky. Not-Lewiski Papanoida.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Yeah. But that has since been changed by Disney since they've taken over, apparently. What? Disney can just change names of insignificant characters? The character was later revived for a role in the animated series The Clone Wars. He was like a more key character in one episode.
Starting point is 00:28:44 So an animated version of George Lucas is a bit of fun. That is cool. Baron Pippinoyda. All right. The answers are in. So here is question number five. Apart from playing Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, what was James Doohan known for?
Starting point is 00:28:59 Here are your five options. Inventing the forepen. He served as a pilot during World War II, including the D-Day invasion of Normandy. Inventing a water filter that fit into any drinking receptacle, he was a motivational speaker with the catchphrase, don't think Han, do Han. Or he invented jorts.
Starting point is 00:29:24 So just confirm, is that jean shorts? Jean shorts, yes. That's right. And again, water contribution. Can we have those again? Inventing the four pen, serving in World War II, including D-Day. Inventing a water filter that fit into any drinking receptacle. Was a motivational speaker with the catchphrase,
Starting point is 00:29:43 don't think Ann, do Ann. Or he invented jorts. I don't think it's my- No, you're going first, so I'm not going to reason. You don't think what? I'm not going to reason through it with you because we are mortal enemies. Gosh, you got competitive. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Well, I'm not having fun. I'm thinking- So I may as well come here to win. That's for sure. So beam me up, Scotty. What's this, an early 60s show? Yeah, I guess so. Trying to get an age for this guy.
Starting point is 00:30:11 And was he like too old to be a World War II pilot? Too young, rather? 15 plus. I suppose he could be late 30s. Maybe he was a pilot right at the end. Okay. Jean Shorts, when did they come into fashion? I'd say more recently.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Another 50s. Star Trek, it looks like it was in the 60s. But, you know, was Scotty an old man? Yeah, I've never, I haven't seen any of, I've seen the recent movies, but I haven't seen any of the TV shows. I don't really know either, but I'm guessing he's late 30s. Okay. And then Don't Think Hand, Do Hand. Yeah, I think I mispronounced. Don't Think Hand, Do I'm guessing he's late 30s. Okay. And then don't think hand, do hand.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Yeah, I think I mispronounced. Don't think hand, do hand because his name is Doohan, right? James Doohan. I get it now. You didn't get it the whole time. I did not get it before. I was like, who's hand? You said don't think hand, do hand.
Starting point is 00:31:00 I was like, who's hand? I was like, okay. Sorry, I'm a little bit slower than usual. What the fuck is hand? This motivation only works for a very specific person. And hand's not that common a name. And then the other two are inventions. A pen or a water filter.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Pen, water filter or jorts. Or jorts. Hmm. You're doing a funny little thing with your mouth there. He's doing a thinking lip. That's weird. That's weird and creepy, isn't it? Sorry, I've just, I've recently had a very sore and infected lip
Starting point is 00:31:39 and it's come good now. I'm just enjoying it. Enjoy those lips, baby. I'm going to say. We sure are. It's much nicer to look at than last week. I'm going to say the World War II pilot. World War II pilot.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Yeah, a bit of a mad dog. What about you, Boppa? I was also going to say World War II pilot. You do it in sync at the moment. Stop copying me. I won't. And what's the Dave putting it? He keeps getting points without doing anything. Without do hand.
Starting point is 00:32:10 The Dave says jorts. Jorts, yeah. I reckon the Dave would lock in jorts. Jorts, okay. A new rule for the Dave. He loses a point if he's wrong. All right. What?
Starting point is 00:32:20 I'm sorry. Okay, but he gets two points if he's wrong as well. So he goes up by one. All right, let's go through the answers. He was a motivational speaker with the catchphrase, don't think and do and. That was the house. No shit.
Starting point is 00:32:36 You came up with that? You couldn't even say it? No. As I read it out, I'm like, that's not right. Don't think and, do and. That sounds wrong. Do and. His name's Do and not Do Han. Damn it. Do Han. Otherwise, would you have guessed it if I said it out, I'm like, that's not right. Dohan. That sounds wrong. Dohan. His name's Dohan, not Dohan.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Damn it. Dohan. Otherwise, would you have guessed it if I said it right? No. Motivational speaker, I was like, oh, yes, I can see that. And then the catchphrase, I was like, nope. Inventing a water filter that fit into any drinking receptacle. That was Jess.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Oh, that's very believable. Yeah, I know. Well done. Inventing the four-point pen, the four-pen, sorry, was Dave. I reckon Jess would have gone for that if you didn't fuck it up and say four-point pen. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, four-pen.
Starting point is 00:33:13 What is a four-point? Why did I say four-point pen? It's ball-point pen. What was your – I don't call it a four-pen. What do you call it? Yeah, it's a four-pen, the blue, green, black and red. I know what it is, but I don't call it a four-pen. That's called a four-pen. I'm aware of what it is. But I don't call it a four pen. That's called a four pen.
Starting point is 00:33:26 I'm aware of what it is. No, but that's what it's called. I'm saying I don't call it a four pen. It didn't sound right to me as well. That's why my brain wanted to add a word in. Do we call them four colour pens or something? Yeah. The Dave would like to issue an apology on my behalf.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Why? Bic sometimes also call it the four colour. Is that what you're thinking of? Yeah, I reckon the four colour pen. I mean, I literally said four colour pen. Yeah. And now you're saying, is that what you're thinking of? It's what I said earlier.
Starting point is 00:33:54 He invented jorts. That was also written by the house. Meaning the correct answer is he served as a pilot during World War II. Yes. Well done. You two are on fire. So negative two for the Dave. Negative two? One point for So negative two for the Dave. Negative two?
Starting point is 00:34:06 One point for Jess, one point for Dave. I can't be beaten by the Dave. He doesn't exist. Oh, that's what this is about. You don't want to lose to the Dave. The Dave. I'm manufacturing the Dave ends on zero. I just wanted this Dave to lose to the Dave.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Oh, okay. That's pretty fun actually. But unfortunately the Dave's doing. So the house is spiteful, is it? Okay, this spiteful house. Okay, Dave, now it's you and I against the house, okay? Oh, no. What about the Dave?
Starting point is 00:34:37 I'm already losing by so much. The Dave is dead in the water. The house is going to attack the Dave. The quick score update, in fourth spot it's the is going to attack the Dave. The quick score update. In fourth spot, it's the house on one. The Dave on two. Is that with the minuses? That's with the minuses. Still beating me.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Dave on three in second place. But out in front, it's Jess on four points. Well done. Four colour points. And now we're up to question number five. Only three questions to go, but it is anyone's game, although it's quickly getting out of my reach. This one comes from Laura from Canberra who wrote the following question. What did Cher tweet on July the 13th, 2012?
Starting point is 00:35:18 What did Cher tweet? I always find it hard to say her name. C-H-E-R. Is that Cher? Yeah, people say Cher. People say it like Cher. What did Cher say? Her real name is Cherilyn.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I say Cher. So that's how I remember it because you wouldn't say Cherilyn. Unless her name was Cherilyn. Oh, dear. This is the four point all over again. Four point. Four point. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:35:40 I think people understand what you mean. I generally say Cher. Great. All right. So while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the James Doohan D-Day story. The first Canadians reached Juneau Beach at 7.35am and were cut down. After two hours, they had swept aside most of the Germans
Starting point is 00:35:59 on their stretch of the beach. This comes from War History Online. Doohan led his men across the sands and got lucky. Despite the anti-tank mines beneath their feet, so they're arriving on the beach on D-Day. They're having a run over anti-tank mines, but luckily none of them went off as the men were not heavy enough to activate them.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Oh, thank God. As they made their way to high ground, Doohan managed to take out two German snipers. By noon, they had secured their positions. They could rest as well as deal with their dead and wounded. At about 11.20 that evening, Doohan finished a cigarette and padded the silver cigarette case he kept in his breast pocket. It had been given to him by his brother as a good luck charm
Starting point is 00:36:44 and a good thing too. Some ten minutes later, he was walking back to his command post when he was shot six times by a Bren gun. The first four bullets slammed into his leg, the fourth whacked him in the chest, while the sixth took off his right middle finger. It was not a German sniper though. He had been shot by a nervous, trigger-happy Canadian sentry.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Fortunately, the cigarette case stopped the bullet aimed at his chest. Doohan later joked that it was the only time being a smoker saved his life. Whoa. So I saw a photo. He would hide his hand in shots. He would try to but there's a couple of shots where you can see his hand and it's missing the middle finger there. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah, he was very sort of casual about it all and he's like, you know, I didn't even realise I'd been shot in the legs until later. You know, I wasn't a hero or anything. I wasn't being that tough or anything. He's like, I'm not sure if I actually got those snipers. But apparently, you know. Wow. So he's pretty humble about it all.
Starting point is 00:37:46 I guess you also maybe would want to downplay killing people, I suppose, even if they are Nazis. Nazis. Nazis. Care for a Nazi? Was that on this show? No. No, that was Diggle On.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Diggle On. Very funny. English people say Nazis and we thought that sounds like a bit of a pastry or a chocolate biscuit. Tea and a Nazi. Open a pack of Nazis? Are you stopping me for long? I'm going to go grab some Nazis.
Starting point is 00:38:14 All right. So your answers are in. Here's question number five. What did Cher tweet on July the 13th, 2012? Porcupines are a bit of fun. They are. WTF is MDNA. I'm currently trapped in a lift.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Send help and send candy. XO, Cher. Lyrics to Turn Back Time. Like she's Googling her. Or I want to take back what I said. There is no life after love. Okay. So Cher tweeted one of these things, July 13th, 2012.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Porcupines are a bit of fun. WTF is MDNA. What's the second? NDNA? MDNA. I'm currently trapped in a lift. Send help and send candy. XO.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Cher. Lyrics to turn back time. Or I want to take back what I said. There is no life after love. Is is capitalised. Whose turn is it here? Mine, I think. What do you think of her?
Starting point is 00:39:16 I do rather enjoy the idea of Cher stuck in a lift. Although I assume, you know, she'd always have people around her. She'd have a team with her. Yes, but maybe the whole team's trapped although I assume, you know, she'd always have people around her. She'd have a team with her. Yes, but maybe the whole team's trapped in a lift and she's making fun of the situation or something. I also love, yeah, so, you know, she might not understand Twitter but you've got to specify what lift if you want people to go and help you. Yeah, but then if she says what lift she's in on Twitter,
Starting point is 00:39:42 then everybody's going to go, you know. But there's also, you know, she's just having a bit of fun. Maybe. Sometimes people tweet things that aren't meant to be taken seriously. Oh, no, no. Every tweet I've ever read I've taken very unironically and it's word. Absolutely. And that's, I believe, the intention of Twitter.
Starting point is 00:40:03 That's the way to live. That's a good point. I think Turn Back Time lyrics is pretty funny. Is that what it was? Lyrics to Turn Back Time. That's pretty funny. I think she knows. And the last one.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I want to take back what I said. There is no laugh after love. Do you believe in life after love? Probably just a bit of a joke. Yeah, but she says, do you believe in life after love because probably just a bit of a joke yeah but she says do you believe right she doesn't say i believe in life life after love uh i think one of the verses she yeah i always assumed that she was it was more rhetorical i kind of feel like she's saying do you also believe in life after love i can feel something inside me saying i really don't think it's strong enough i'm trying to figure out the words no hmm um i'm gonna say lyrics to turn back time it's turn back time for bop what about you dave and what's the ndna
Starting point is 00:41:00 one uh wtf is MDNA. What the fuck is, what does MDNA stand for? Well, that's exactly what she's asking. Dave, you've got to get on Twitter if you want to find these sort of answers. That sounds like a bizarre thing. Is there any emojis in there? She does love a bit of an emoji. Like her emoji work is like off the charts, but maybe not 10 years ago. None of these have emojis.
Starting point is 00:41:25 The closest is XO, which is on the third option about being trapped in a lift. Okay. I'm going to say WTF is MDNA and hopefully you'll clear that up. Okay. Locking that in. All right. Here's who wrote the answers.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Porcupines are a bit of fun. That was the house. That is funny. I want to take back what I said. There is no life after love. That was Jess. Funnily enough, that was pretty similar to something that Laura had and that's why I had to quickly delete it.
Starting point is 00:42:02 The first thing that came to my mind was porcupines are a bit of fun. Oh, you do that on the fly. Yeah, yeah. That's why it was terrible. Yeah. Well, one of the reasons. Because sometimes I have a bit of time and they're still pretty bad. I'm currently trapped in a lift.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Send help. That was Dave. Yes. Lyrics to Turn Back Time. That was the house. Huh? That one wasn't terrible. Oh, I'm sorry, Jess.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Why are you yelling at me? Sorry, Jess. It's quite different from this episode. I think the Dave beating The House has really rocked Matt. The House is really struggling. Yeah, I've never seen them lose. Has The House ever come fourth before? The House is made of straw, okay?
Starting point is 00:42:42 It's being huffed and puffed. That means the correct answer is WTF is MDNA. Yeah. So one point to Dave there, one point to the house. How many for the Dave? The Dave gets three points. I agree. Three points to the house, are you sure?
Starting point is 00:42:58 Yes. No, to the Dave. To the Dave. Sorry, yes. What the hell? Sneaky fuck. You sneaky little fuck. Well, if you.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Don't point your finger at me, young man. You nearly said yes. That's enough. That's enough out of you. You've got to pay attention to this cream. I don't have to do anything. All right, so that means. It's cream.
Starting point is 00:43:17 The scores now are. The house on two points. Jess on four points. Jess on four points. Dave on four points. But in the front again somehow it's the Dave on five points. I don't know how the Dave got three points there. But you are really making an absolute mockery of this game, which is a very serious game,
Starting point is 00:43:43 and I think people should really take it more seriously. All right, Craig. All right, so on to the second last question. Question number six. This one comes from Harris Dava from Sloth Citadel. What? I don't know. What is that?
Starting point is 00:43:57 I Googled it and I'm not sure. I couldn't figure out what it meant. But question six is what happened in Seattle on September the 5th, 1928? What happened in Seattle on September the 5th, 1928? What happened in Seattle on September the 5th, 1928? While you're writing those answers, here's some more info on Cher's tweet. Luckily, the Huffington Post reported on the incident. WTF is MDNA, Cher tweeted Friday morning. Thankfully, one of her Twitter followers was quick to respond.
Starting point is 00:44:24 MDNA is Madonna's new album title, but also a spin on the party drug MDMA, aka ecstasy, to which Cher replied, how tasteful. But it didn't end there. After being asked whether or not she liked Madonna, Cher responded, I respect her ability. She's a genius. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for Madonna fans who continued to defend queen madge share then try to clarify things with this simple tweet didn't mean to show didn't mean to throw shade on madge she's best at what she does called her bad called her bad word once not nice okay didn't know mdna shoot me. I live in a cave. What? Send candy.
Starting point is 00:45:12 So, yeah, I think people, Madonna fans, took offence when she said how tasteful maybe. I don't know. But then she's like, hey, I don't know. Don't get so offended. Wow. I'm sorry I didn't know what MDNA meant. And then after the Madonna drama ceased, Cher promised to personally call Madge and straighten all of the Twitter hullabaloo out.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Cher stated Cher started to throw shade at a true target, GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, tweeting, can I not get on here without dissing someone by accident? Really only ever wanted to throw shade on Mittens Robotny care, she tweeted. Oh, my God, Cher. What's going on? Unfortunately, not everyone got the anti-Romney message when someone replied, did Cher just call Brittany Robotny?
Starting point is 00:46:00 Oh, no. And Cher replied, no, called Mittens Robotny care Like to keep my insults straight Asshole Oh care gotcha Like what C-A-R-E I don't understand what it means
Starting point is 00:46:17 What up care Yeah I was confused about that But when she was trying to like go No I'm not calling Brittany Robotny. I'm calling Robotny. I'm calling Mittens Robotny. What is going on? Oxygen is running out in that lift, I think.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Here's question number six. What happened in Seattle on September the 5th, 1928? The KACL radio station is founded The future home of the Dr. Frasier Crane show A horse stampede resulted in the cancellation of the Great Seattle Rodeo Ironically, the only casualty was a donkey A law passed prohibiting dance marathons A demonstration of teleportation technology fooled the local newspapers,
Starting point is 00:47:05 but it turned out it was a ruse by two identical twins. Or Seattle PD officer Martin Crane married Hester Crane. That's two Cranes. Two Fraser ones. What was the last one? Seattle PD officer Martin Crane married Hester Crane. Okay. And that's a Fraser reference?
Starting point is 00:47:26 Well, it could be a coincidence, but Martin Crane married Hester Crane. Okay. And that's a Fraser reference? That's, well, it could be a coincidence, but Martin Crane, Fraser's dad, was a retired police officer. Right. And he had an ugly chair. He did have an ugly chair and a little Jack Russell. But he loved that chair. He loved that chair. I tell you what, Fraser didn't love that chair. God, Fraser hated that chair.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Didn't go with his whole aesthetic. He's not a good son. Yeah. But until sort of right towards the end of the episode normally. Yeah. Then he sort of has a lot of moments where he realises, hang on, I'm getting a bit of clarity here. They're a bit classless against their own dad.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Yeah. Right. Does he also have a bit of a creepy vibe? He creeps me out a bit, that character. Fraser? Yeah. Yeah. Something about him. A bit pervy. Right, okay, yeah. What about that dog? Creepiest dog on TV. Oh, yeah. He'll hump
Starting point is 00:48:15 anyone's leg. What the fuck are you guys talking about? That dog's building orphanages. That's a good dog. That is a good dog. Hey, but does that undo some of his indiscretions? Absolutely not. So, Dave, I think it's your crack here. Can we have them one more time, please?
Starting point is 00:48:33 The KACL radio station is founded, the future home of the Dr. Frasier Crane Show. A horse stampede resulted in the cancellation of the great Seattle Rodeo. Ironically, the only casualty was a donkey. A law was passed prohibiting dance marathons. A demonstration of teleportation technology fooled the local newspapers, but it turned out it was a ruse by two identical twins. Or Seattle PD officer Martin Crane married Hester Crane.
Starting point is 00:48:59 Okay, I'm tempted by horse rodeo or twin rodeo. Teleportation or horse. They're my two. Yep, yep. I would agree with you there. And I'm going to go with teleportation because I think people are a lot easier to fool back in the day. I'm going to go for the rodeo one.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Rodeo one for Bob. Right, we've covered our bases. Covered the spread. All right. That's two out of five. We've covered our bases. Covered the spread. All right. That's two out of five. The Dave locks in all the others. Yeah, what's the Dave doing?
Starting point is 00:49:30 Dave's got all the others. All the others. Okay, so if the Dave's wrong, that's minus three. All right, so let's go through who answered. You are so bitter. I just think that's fair. If he's going on the board. It's not fair. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Let's not forget it's minus three but then it's plus six. No, no pluses. Yeah, he loses one then pluses two. You're such a sore loser. Just lose to the day. Lose to a thing that doesn't exist. I know people who listen to this show. Oh, purists.
Starting point is 00:49:59 They need the competition to be pure. They can't have fake people. I don't think they do, Matt. This feels like a Matt project to his audience. This is a Matt problem. No, no, this is feedback I've had in 15 episodes that they're like, hey, Matt, everything's going really great. Just make sure you keep it nice and pure, hey?
Starting point is 00:50:17 That's ridiculous. The KACL radio station is founded, future home of the Dr. Frasier Crane show. That was written by the house. Oh. Saddle PD, Officer Martin Crane married H Crane Show. That was written by the house. Seattle PD Officer Martin Crane married Hester Crane. That was written by Jess. I thought it was the other way around.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Then we had a horse stampede resulted in the cancellation of the great Seattle Rodeo. That was Jess. That was Dave. Dave. Dave did the old fool-a-roo there. I'm sorry, Jess, but I just needed the point real bad.
Starting point is 00:50:47 A demonstration of teleportation technology fooled local newspapers. That was the house. No. I'm sorry, Dave. The correct answer was a law was passed prohibiting dance marathons. Wow, that means the Dave gets a point. Yeah. Well done, the Dave.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Well done to the Dave. When I was saying that, I thought I had you. I thought I had a negative three there. No, that's one point for the Dave. One point for the Dave, yes. One point for the house. Wow, I really thought the Dan's Marathon. I was like, that's the house for sure.
Starting point is 00:51:18 So, quick score update. Going to the final round, we've got the house on three, Jess and Dave on four, but the Dave out in front on six points. Wow, two in front of us. Yeah. You've done this. You did it to yourselves. It should be one of you winning this.
Starting point is 00:51:32 I'm happy for the Dave. Me too. The Dave's not a thing. What does it mean? Jess and I hold up the Dave. I love the Dave. I'm hoping I can edit out all this talk of the Dave and the Dave never existed.
Starting point is 00:51:42 The Dave, the Dave, the Dave, the Dave, the Dave. Final question, number seven. If this episode goes for any less than 57 minutes, you've been cheated. Let that bit out as well. Damn it. 57 is the truth. So up to question seven, the final question,
Starting point is 00:51:56 it comes from Tess Matthews from Manchester in the UK, and the question is, we always finish with a film synopsis, or we usually do anyway. This time we need the synopsis of the 2016 film Carousel. Carousel. How do you spell that, please? C-A-R-O-U-S-H-E-L-L. Carousel.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Okay. Carous. Carousel. Like carousel, but it's carousel? Yeah. What year was this again? 2016. Oh, it's carousel. Yeah. What year was this again? 2016. Oh, it's a modern one.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Exactly. I'm bad at these. All right. And while you're writing your answers down, here's a bit more information about dance marathons from historylink.org. And this is wild stuff. I cannot believe this. It feels like there's a do-go.org. And this is wild stuff. Cannot believe this. It feels like there's a Do Go On episode in this, I reckon.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Dance marathons, an American phenomenon of the 20s and 30s, were human endurance contests in which couples danced almost nonstop for hundreds of hours, as long as a month or two, competing for prize money. 15 minutes each hour allotted for rest. When the air horn signaling a rest period sounded, the contestants exited the dance floor for curtained off rest areas filled with cots. These rest areas were segregated by sex. Contestants trained themselves to drop instantly into deep sleep as soon as their bodies touched the cots. After eleven minutes,
Starting point is 00:53:24 the air horn sounded again, and the contestants filed back onto the dance floor to begin another hour. Female contestants who didn't wake at the end of the 11 minutes were revived with smelling salts and slaps. The male contestants were often dunked in a tub of ice water. Seattle passed an ordinance prohibiting dance marathons within city limits on september the 5th 1928 this ordinance was prompted by the near death of a seattle woman who had competed in a 19-day marathon held in the seattle armory matt may i please ask a question of course could you please read me the the question about the movie again. And in doing so, confirm the spelling, please. What is the synopsis of the 2016 film Carousel?
Starting point is 00:54:08 Yep. C-A-R-O-U-S. Yep. H-E-L-L. Okay. And like a separate word? I've got it. The H is capitalised.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Yeah, cool. I think it is. All right, great. I've done it. Thanks, Matt. Hey, Matt. Thank you. Hey, thank you, Jess.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Dave. Hello. Go fuck yourself. Oh, Matt. Thank you. Hey, thank you, Jess. Dave. Hello. Go fuck yourself. Oh, noted. All right. The answers are in. Here is the final question. What is the synopsis of the 2016 film Carousel?
Starting point is 00:54:38 Now, Jess and Dave, you're on equal points. It's anyone's game here. Particularly the Dave. Oh, well, yeah, the Dave. Come on, Dave. In its own race. But I'm really focusing in on jess v dave v house what's the house again sorry house on three dave's on four just on four this is anyone's game and the dave is on six the dave is on six all right so here's the final question what is the synopsis of the 2016 film
Starting point is 00:55:02 caris hell teens in the sleepy town of Hobbs Hollow complain that there's never anything to do in their town. Then the Halloween carnival comes to town and a group of friends decide to ride the carousel, a decision they may not live to regret. Oh. Jim, a carnival worker, tempts people to ride the carousel after hours. Little do they know it will be the last ride of their lives. Duke, a carousel unicorn, breaks free of his carnival hell and embarks on a bloody rampage of revenge on humanity.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Oh, my God. A clown car crashes at a circus, killing 17 clowns. Their souls haunt a fairground with a merry-go-round at the centre of the horror. Or Caro is in over her head. She's got bills to pay and despite saying she never would, she's going to have to do the unthinkable, take over her dad's close-up magic business. This is Caro's Hell.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Can we have those again? So you've got teens in the sleepy town of Hobbs Hollow complain they never have anything to do, but then the Halloween carnival comes to town and they ride on the carousel, a decision they may not live to regret. Then we've got Jim, carnival worker, tempts people to ride the carousel after hours. Little do they know it'll be the last ride of their life.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Was that too little do they knows? Sorry, little do they know. Was it the first one little do they know as well? No. And a group of friends decide a decision. No, it doesn't have a little Little do they know. But is the first one little do they know as well? No. And a group of friends decide a decision. No, that doesn't have a little to do. Okay. Good, good.
Starting point is 00:56:30 That helped me. Option three, Duke, a carousel unicorn, breaks free of his carnival hell and embarks on a bloody rampage of revenge on humanity. That's pretty full on. A clown car crashes at a circus killing 17 clowns. Their souls haunt a fairground with a merry-go-round at the centre of the horror.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Or Caro is in over her head. She's got bills to pay. Despite sanctioned Everwood, she's going to have to do the unthinkable. Take over her dad's close-up magic business. This is Caro's Hell. That's very funny. It's tough, isn't it? Is it me?
Starting point is 00:57:02 I think so. You've done three each now, so whoever's feeling it. You go, Dave isn't me uh it could be you've done 3h now so whoever's whoever's feeling it you go dave let's talk it out together okay great can't wait because we don't want the house to win and we do want the day for the day all right do you which one did you write uh for me i'm the first time i heard Duke, I thought that was ridiculous. It's a funny one. But then I'm like, sometimes, like we've had a movie on this show before. It was like a tire that went on a rampage.
Starting point is 00:57:35 That's right. So there's some dumb movies out there. That's true. And they're usually the ones I pick. Yeah. But then the first one, it seemed quite well written, like a believable movie. And what's Hobbs Hollow?
Starting point is 00:57:48 Hobbs Hollow. Hobbs Hollow, that sounds. That's the sleepy town. I don't know, what are you thinking? I like it. It is a nice sounding sleepy town. Yeah, it sounds like a, I don't know, teen horror kind of movie. But the second one's also, no, was the second one?
Starting point is 00:58:02 That's Jim the Carnival Worker. Yeah, that one sounds kind of. That could be believable. Horror-ish as well. You got the killer unicorn. Yeah. Then the clown car crashing and then the close-up. I don't think it's Caro's Hell, but it's very good.
Starting point is 00:58:22 I like it too. I quite like clown cars when they haunt. It's not bad. They're all dumb. Are you horror fans? No, absolutely not. In no way ever. Never.
Starting point is 00:58:32 I like them a little bit. I watched the preview of Carrow's Hell yesterday. Oh, you've. And. So it is called Carrow's Hell. Carrow's Hell. Sorry, Carrow's Hell. Was that a giveaway there? No. He did just call it Carrow's Hell. Carousel. Sorry, Carousel. Was that a giveaway there?
Starting point is 00:58:45 No. He did just call it Carrow's Hell. Sorry. No, that was just me misspeaking. Okay. Carousel. Does it look like something you'd enjoy? It was very silly.
Starting point is 00:58:56 I mean, all of these are pretty silly, but it was, yeah, it was fun. It was a bit of fun. I'm going to lock in Duke the Unicorn. Okay. I'm going to lock in Clown the unicorn. Okay. I'm going to lock in clown car. Clown car for Jess. And what is together? I guess you've got to lock in the Dave.
Starting point is 00:59:12 The other three? Yeah. The other three for Dave. So he gets negative two points every one he gets wrong. All right, let's go through. You've needed one for each one he gets wrong. Unless he gets it right. You've been giving him three points, two points on a whim. And you're taking him away on a whim. I've only taken two points off him. it right. Such a sore loser. You've been giving him three points, two points on a whim.
Starting point is 00:59:26 And you're taking him away on a whim. I've only taken two points off him. All right, can we take two points off the house for this? No. Yeah, two points from the house. Minus two. All right, let's go through the answers. And you've locked them in.
Starting point is 00:59:36 You're happy? Yep. Duke and Clown Car. And the other three for the Dave. So the Hobbs Hollow Sleepy Town, that was Jess. Oh, it's good. Well done. When I said very well written, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Thank you so much. I assumed that you'd done Caro's Hell because you asked how Caro's Hell is spelled. It was because I wasn't listening when Matt first started the question. No, Hobbs, brilliant. Hobbs Hollow. I think that's one of your great trademarks, Jess, for this round is you'll put in a great,
Starting point is 01:00:08 either a great character name or a place name. Yeah. I was enjoying it very much. Hobbs Hollow. Hobbs Hollow, fantastic. Or a job. I remember on one episode you said a dentist. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Gary Pacemaker, a dentist. A dentist, I cracked up at that. Then we had Jim, the carnival worker. Attempts to be able to ride the carousel after hours. That was The House. That one was written by Tess Matthews. Closing in here. Then we had Caro is in and over her head.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Ends up having to do close-up magic. That is The House. Great work. That's very funny. Clown card. This is what Jess picked. That was Dave. So a point to Dave there, meaning that Dave is also correct.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Duke, a carousel unicorn breaks free of his carnival hell and embarks on a bloody rampage of revenge on humanity. I think I realised as I was saying I watched the preview that I probably gave a bit more than I should have there and that's what made you think because I said it was a bit of silly fun. You said it was a bit. But then they all sound silly fun, don't they? yeah that's yeah i tried to i tried to talk less you really should say less uh so that's two points to dave negative three to the day
Starting point is 01:01:17 such a sore loser no this is good no this is good. So the final scores are The House, three points. The Dave, also on three points. Jess in second place on four points. But out in front, it's Dave on six points. Thanks, everyone. I'd like to donate all six points to The Dave, taking him to a total of nine points. Yes, The Dave!
Starting point is 01:01:42 The Dave did it! The Dave did it! Nine points. Is that the Dave! The Dave did it! The Dave did it! Nine points. Is that the highest score ever? No, but it is annoyingly high for someone who doesn't exist. If anyone's keeping the spreadsheet at home, please mark down the Dave as nine and myself as zero. I would also like to donate my points to the Dave.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Wow. Wow, I've bumped up a second spot. Go to the house. points to the Dave. Wow. Wow, I've bumped up to second spot. Go to the house. Go to the house. Well, the Dave's still on 13 now. Absolutely smashed to the house. Yes. Well done, the Dave.
Starting point is 01:02:12 Well done, the Dave. I'm just writing a new rule into my rule spreadsheet. Oh, no, fake character points have to go to the house. Oh, no, I get all of the points. From next week on, it's fine. But this week, the day absolutely rains. I'm so happy for the day. Me too.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Well done, the Dave. Oh, now he's on to the Dave. No, honestly, it was a bit of fun. I thought I was building up a bit of a the house versus the Dave thing. But in the end, I love the Dave. You were just being a straight up villain and everybody hates you. Everyone loves the Dave. Everyone loves the Dave. You were just being a straight-up villain and everybody hates you. Everyone loves the Dave. Everyone loves the Dave and we're mad at you.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I'm picturing the Dave as being like a little ventriloquist dummy. The Dave. I'm the Dave. Yeah, that's probably about right. So I could only find two critic reviews of the movie on Rotten Tomatoes, but they are both positive. Really? It's pretty recent too, is it 2016?
Starting point is 01:03:06 2016. And I'm like, is it animated or what? But it looks like they've just used camera tricks to sort of, it's just like someone's holding a carousel unicorn off screen sort of bouncing around. It's very low budget. And then it somehow is putting axes into people's heads. Sure.
Starting point is 01:03:24 That's the best. I feel like I could almost watch it. But, I mean, the preview was probably enough. So here's a couple of the quick points from the scripts. Norman Gidney from Horror Buzz wrote, the script by Rudzinski and co-writer Aline Isley is broad, surreal and ludicrously silly. And Felix Vasquez Jr. from Cinema Craze said,
Starting point is 01:03:50 a fun and funny horror comedy that thrives on originality. The only quote from the film that was on IMDb was, you have to be this tall to die. Oh, that's awesome. Bit of fun. Yeah, so final score check. So you're giving all your points to the Dave.
Starting point is 01:04:10 So the Dave's on 13. So we've got in equal third we've got Jess on no points and Dave on no points. And in second place we've got the house on three points but way out in front it's the Dave on no points. And in second place, we've got the house on three points, but way out in front, it's the Dave on 13 points. 13 points.
Starting point is 01:04:29 That's got to be the highest score ever. The Dave. Now that they've been placated, the real winner was just normal Dave on six points. Listen, that's okay. Boo. Now where can people find you two? They can find me bloody shoving your head in a toilet.
Starting point is 01:04:45 That's where they can find me. No, no. Just go look at a toilet. I'm probably there shoving Matt's head in. But, no, you can listen to the Do Go On podcast and also Simply the Jest. You can find me at Jess Perkins on Instagram. And at the Melbourne Comedy Festival coming up in March.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Yep, yeah. Watch the show. Oh, look. Oh, just look up Jess Perkins in the guide. You'll find her. And Dave, what about you? Hey, you can find me on Do Go On as well, but also the Book Cheat podcast.
Starting point is 01:05:12 And I'm doing a show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and Adelaide Fringe Festival, possibly more places to be confirmed, a show called Even Hotter in Real Life. It's good. It's very good. Thank you. Because he is, you see. Exactly. You've got to see this to believe it. It's good. It's very good. Thank you. Because he is, you see. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:05:25 You've got to see this to believe it. Funny because it's true. Not to objectify him, but Dave, in photos. Exactly. Pix just won't do this guy justice. Not photogenic. But IRL? IRL.
Starting point is 01:05:35 Oh, my goodness. Super hunk. Bonus city. Yeah. Sorry I said that, Dave. And you can see me. I'm in Adelaide before or after you, Dave. No one asked.
Starting point is 01:05:48 But, I mean, they might as well see you as well. My show's called Ding, and it's also the Melbourne Comedy Festival at the Chinese Museum. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. We are a new show. It would be great if you could help get the word out there. Please give us a five-star review and tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Bye. The Dave. The Dave. Woo. as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke

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