Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 18 - Raewyn Pickering, Prue Blake and Andrew Portelli
Episode Date: January 9, 2023Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Raewyn Pickering, Prue Blake and Andrew Portelli!Check out Matt'...s stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the
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Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week is comedian and carryover champ Raewyn Pickering.
Woo!
Sorry, there's a ghost in the studio.
Sorry, I could not contain my excitement.
That was what that was?
Yeah.
It was like a closed mouth scream.
Well, I don't want to open mouth scream in this environment.
I think that's right.
Yeah.
Our second guest this week is comedian and woman of letters, Prue Blake.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for the wonderful title.
Hey.
Well, I mean, if it's not clear yet uh the guests have all just written their own
introductions uh and our third guest you know him you love him from award-winning punk art video
project talking biscotti please welcome comedian andrew portelli thanks matt uh thanks for having
me um you forgot to mention i'm the only one who didn't write his own introduction.
Okay.
We'll see if the listeners buy that.
Now, the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question
and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.
I then read their answers as well as the real one,
and they have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Yeah. The first question comes from listener Rachel from
London and the question is, what does horripilation mean? What does horripilation mean? While they're
writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is
guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer.
By the way, I'm also playing as the house.
I've put two of my own fake answers for each question in
with the help of the question writers,
and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose.
So each of us can score up to three points per round.
Seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house.
And the house always wins, though.
If you've been listening to recent episodes,
you'll know that I haven't won in about six weeks.
Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters.
And if you want to submit a question,
sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dugongpod,
linked in the show notes.
You're really good at filling up that silence.
Got it down to a fine art over 16 episodes. Bit of patter. Yeah, that was really good at filling up that silence. Got it down to a fine art over 16 episodes.
Bit of patter.
Yeah, that was really good.
But let me know if you want some wet mouth sounds in that little break there.
I'm okay for now.
Thank you.
We'll let you know.
I want dry mouth sounds.
Can't help you then.
Because this mouth is wet.
All right. The answers are in. Because this mouth is wet.
All right, the answers are in.
So let's go back to question number one.
What does horripilation mean?
Here are your six options.
The sensation that a spider is on you after you've walked through a spider web.
When something is scary but spacious like a warehouse with a ghost in it.
When your head or body hair bristles from fright or excitement,
using an epilator for a Brazilian,
or feeling full after eating too many hors d'oeuvres.
Well, hang on.
There's one more.
Getting fingered during a scary movie.
Apologies for leaving that one out.
So do you want me to run through them again or are you feeling like you've got an answer here?
I've got the answer.
Hello.
Confident.
Well, if you lock it in first, that'll really help Pru and Raewyn, I suppose.
What are you going with?
I think it's the first one.
The first one, the sensation that a spider is on you
after you've walked through a spider web. I'm locking that in for the first one. The first one, the sensation that a spider is on you after you've walked through a spider web.
Locking that in for the port man.
Do you need to hear any of the other ones, Prue?
No, I'm ready to lock in.
What are you going with?
I'm going with hair standing on end.
Yeah.
Great.
Locking that in for Prue.
Yeah, I reckon that's it, logically.
Are we trying to get the right answer?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay, great.
The twist is.
Twist is for yourself every time.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
Uh, getting fingered during a scary movie.
That was written by Prue.
And I feel like I didn't help your chances by forgetting to write it out.
Yeah.
But that could have been the right answer.
It could have been.
That you were like, oh, they'll put that in a different place.
Could you use that in a sentence?
Oh, yeah.
I got absolutely horror-polationed at the Cinema Nova the other weekend.
I subvert.
Or enjoyed a bit of horror-polation.
To just an arty flick.
Feeling full after eating too many hors d'oeuvres, that was the house.
Using an epilator for a Brazilian was Raewyn.
Wow.
One of the two hair-related answers.
When something is scary but spacious like a warehouse with a ghost in it,
that was written by Portelli.
Wow.
The sensation that a spider is on you after you've walked through a spider web.
That was written by the house, on point of the house there.
Oh, I like Portelli.
Meaning the correct answer is when your head or body hair bristles from fright or excitement.
That is exciting.
My hair is totally horripilation right now.
Yes.
Well, because, yeah, maybe it's only like women that would know what an –
do you know what an epilator is?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Like a lot of tweezers altogether.
Yeah.
Why do you ask?
Oh, just because you – just because you like didn't go for that one at all.
It's the only reason that poor Telly must have missed it
is he mustn't have understood it.
It was so.
The confidence there, Ray.
I'm coming in hot.
It was such a big challenge.
Do you know what an epilator is?
I'm a bit cocky.
Well, I just assumed because you wouldn't have used.
Sorry, that's assuming.
Maybe you have used one.
I'm sorry.
No, I haven't.
Okay.
But I know people who have.
But no, I just didn't put it together. Horror-pellation. To me it sounds like epilation. No, I haven't. Okay. But I know people who have. But no, I just didn't put it together.
Horror-pellation.
To me it sounds like epilation.
Oh, I see.
So that's why I was like, oh.
Yeah.
But I would have guessed that yours was the spider walking through a spider web
being from country Queensland.
Oh.
I was like, well, that's obviously Raewyn.
Well, it wasn't.
Plus, Raewyn's never worried her spiders on her.
She'd speak on about her day.
They're just a part of you.
If anything, cheer it up.
Yeah.
It's glee-lation.
All right, quick score check after round one.
Portelli on zero points, but on equal lead with one point,
it's Raewyn Prew in the house.
Basically everyone but Portelli.
Tight game.
Interesting attitude. Interesting.
Attitude.
Okay.
Eat our dust.
All right.
Question number two comes from Craig from Dana Point in California.
And the question is, in 1990, Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa,
achieved the Guinness World Record for what?
In 1990, Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa, achieved the Guinness World Record for what? In 1990, Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa achieved the Guinness world record for what? And while you're writing your answers, here's some more information on horripilation.
Merriam-Webster quotes Stephen King, who used the words in one of his books when he wrote,
suddenly he was swept by horripilation. The goosebumps swept up from his ankles all the way to the nape of his neck
where the hair stirred and tried to lift.
Never read Stephen King before, but what beautiful prose that is.
That sounds like a perfect description of getting fingered.
In a scary movie?
In a scary movie.
In a Stephen King movie maybe.
Yes.
Whoa.
It all comes around.
It's like Patelli's writing like the Latin origin for his answers.
Yeah, sometimes when someone's clearly taken the longest
and then there's one answer that goes for three paragraphs.
Like, hmm, I wonder who that could have been.
Yeah.
No, I was texting my mum.
Got to do it.
Yeah.
All right.
The answers are in.
Here is question number two.
In 1990, Charles Osborne of Anthon, Iowa,
achieved the Guinness World Record for what?
Longest span of time without blinking, six minutes and 41 seconds.
Most panties fit into one person's mouth.
The longest attack of hiccups, 68 years.
Putting the most wonka nerds up his nose.
He managed 23 in the left nostril and 31 in the right.
The first man to eat a full hog from snout to tail,
including skin and bone, in under one hour.
Say that again.
The first man to eat a full hog from snout to tail,
including skin and bone, in under one hour.
Or balancing the most rubber ducks on a Jeep.
There's no way you can write something that's too silly
for a world record attempt because there's so many of them.
That's the weird thing.
Very bonkers.
But it was early on in the Guinness World Record.
Yeah, 1990.
Some early, you still had some sway, you know,
you didn't have to go completely insane with it.
All right.
Does anyone have any thoughts here?
Ooh, I'm leaning, personally, hiccups.
Hiccups?
Should I lock it in?
Lock it in.
Lock it in?
I love that confidence.
Yes, he's hiccuping away.
What are the options?
Longest span of time without blinking.
Most pennies fit into one person's mouth.
Longest attack of the hiccups.
Putting the most wonka nerds up his nose.
First man to eat a full hog from snout to tail.
Or balancing the most rubber ducks on a jeep.
The first one.
First one.
Blinking.
Yeah.
Do we know if he still holds this record?
I believe he still holds this record? I believe he still holds this record.
I reckon pennies then.
I was going to do the blinking.
All right.
Locking in most pennies for Iowa.
And here's who wrote the answers.
Balancing the most rubber ducks on a Jeep.
That was Prue.
That's a real thing in Ohio.
I saw a Facebook group about it.
Really?
What?
Yeah, they have like, it's called Duck Duck Jeep.
If you have someone that you park next to a Jeep,
you leave like a little rubber duck on their Jeep.
Right.
Yeah.
And why would you do that?
Just a little bit of fun, Patele, just to lighten up life.
Right.
Beautiful.
Feel connected to something.
Yeah.
And then you just buy a Jeep.
And then, yeah.
And some ducks.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you think people would be more likely or less likely to buy a Jeep
in Ohio because of this?
I think more.
More, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
For community spirit.
Yeah, exactly.
It feels like calling it because is it a play on duck, duck goose?
I don't know what it's a play on.
Duck, duck Jeep.
It doesn't really make sense.
It doesn't really work.
Yeah, no, it doesn't.
But it doesn't stop me loving it.
It's better than like duck, duck Hyundai or something. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, it doesn't. But it doesn't stop me loving it. It's better than like Duck, Duck, Hyundai or something.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At least there's one word.
Portelli, do you want to lock something in?
I already have.
Great.
And everyone has.
Fantastic.
I think we need to move on with the show.
You're already giving Portelli a handicap.
You're like, who just chose one answer was a lie, and then you can lock in again, Portelli a handicap. You might feel just one answer was a lie
and then you can lock in again, Portelli.
I already have.
Who is in control of this operation?
Well, I don't think anyone has a stronghold.
Well, let's keep going through who wrote the answers then.
Why not?
If you don't want to change your answer, Poteli, fine.
The first man to eat a full hog from snout to tail,
including skin and bone, that was The House.
Wow.
Putting the most wonka nerds up his nose, that was Raewyn.
Really?
So one of the three of you is correct.
Whoa.
Suspense.
So we had – wait, hang on.
My system here is putting a letter next to the guess
and I've put P next to two different letters for Prue and Portelli.
It's not an ideal system.
So who picked which again?
I picked hiccups.
You picked hiccups.
Okay, great.
I picked blinking.
Blinking, yeah. I'm going to change your letter to A. That makes a lot ofups. Okay, great. I picked blinking. Blinking, yeah.
I'm going to change your letter to A.
That makes a lot of sense.
Okay.
The consistency is sick.
Just in case anyone at home is wanting the full picture in their mind.
Sure.
That's movie magic.
Yeah.
But wait, the second letter of Raewyn is an A,
so we'll back out confusion.
That's true.
And you could have done people for all three of us.
Oh, my God.
Your system is crumbling.
Longest span of time without blinking, that's what Andrew locked in.
Great.
That was written by The House, particularly Craig, the question writer.
Most pennies fit into one person's mouth, which Raewyn chose.
That was Portelli, meaning the correct answer was
the longest attack of the hiccups, 68 years.
Hooray!
One point for Prue, one point for Portelli,
and one point for the house.
That's a lot of hiccups.
And who is the house?
I'm sort of the house.
Me and the question writers.
It's sort of an ethereal being.
And you write, so there are two house.
Yeah. Yeah.
Right.
So there's a bit of a mathematical advantage for the house,
but also I don't have the chance to pick a correct one.
So we can only, each of us can only get two maximum points each round,
but I am favoured.
But I also try and write one ridiculous one that no one will pick,
in this case eating a hog, including its skeleton.
Yeah.
Well, I thought that was just the same as eating a plane.
That's a good point as well.
That was very reasonable.
He was putting the hour timeline on.
I was like, I don't think he could.
Yeah.
I thought Raewyn wrote that one.
Me too.
Who else would use the word snout?
Yeah, so how to topically correct.
This is very Raewyn-esque.
I'm getting really into the details of the trotters.
All right.
I love my brand.
It's so strong.
It's really, yeah.
Snout.
Spiders.
Hooves.
That's funny because the two that they've thought you wrote,
I wrote them both.
So somehow your brand is my brand or I'm moving in on your brand.
Okay, quick score update.
After two rounds, Raewyn is on one point.
Portelli is on one point.
But in the lead, it's Peru and the House on two points each.
Whoa.
Okay.
All right.
And we're up to question number three.
This one comes from Riley Ness from South Elgin in Illinois.
And the question is,
what was the nickname of early 1900s baseballer Charlie Hickman?
What was the nickname of early 1900s baseballer Charlie Hickman?
While you're writing your answers,
I'll let the audience know a bit more about Charles Osborne's record.
According to the Guinness World Records website, Charles Osborne started hiccuping in 1922 while
attempting to weigh a hog before slaughtering it. A little insight into how it came up with the
hog answer now. He was unable to find a cure, but led a normal life in which he had two wives and fathered eight children.
He continued until a morning in Feb 1990.
So he lived after, I just assumed he died.
He lived for like two more years, hiccup free I think.
I imagine those blissful years.
I think he missed the hiccups.
There's a couple of comments on the World Records website
of people being like,
and was there someone checking with him the whole time?
Like they were like, I don't believe it.
You think it was start, stop?
Yeah.
That's what they seem to suggest.
How do you define continuous?
Yeah.
Good point.
So yeah, he'd have to sleep.
So you can sleep with hiccups, I guess.
Amazing.
The question writer, Craig, he wrote,
what would you do if you had to go for a world record?
And then he said, if I had to, I love the way he answered that question.
If I had to attempt a world record,
I think I would try to set the record for world's largest breakfast burrito.
Picture a five metre diameter tortilla and about 421 scrambled eggs.
Then let your mind run wild from there.
And then I'm thinking a big turd.
World record. Coming out the end
So he's going to make it
Or he's going to eat it
Yeah
Yeah I guess
Or he's
Just the record is
There is
The world's biggest
Yeah
Breakfast burrito
I think my record would be
World's funniest
Comedy festival show
Yeah
What is that titled?
What would you title a show like that?
I think hypothetically I'd title it, hey, great to catch up.
Sorry, everyone.
That's not bad.
Yeah.
Prue, if you were going for a record best ever comedy festival show,
what title would you give it?
For the best ever comedy festival show?
Yeah, perhaps maybe the one that you're doing next year.
Yeah, the one I'm doing next year is called Unfriended
and, yeah, it's in the running, I think.
Really in the running for a record.
Any thoughts for you, Raewyn?
Look, I think I would like it to be a saying
but also something that's like rolls off the tongue.
It's like I feel like Bush Week is a nice.
Yeah, I'm very on brand.
Yeah.
You've got a brand. Very on brand. Yeah.
Got a brand.
Is there going to be much hog related material in the show?
Oh, well, I will definitely write some now. More pig, less hog, but I'll work some hog in.
Fantastic.
Could I suggest a title for you, Rowan?
Yeah.
What about.
You can give it a go.
If you want the hog, you get the trotters.
And it's Raewyn dressed up.
She's got two big hooves.
And I look confused.
Yeah, and you've got a pig nose.
Yeah, beautiful.
And then the opening of the show is.
And the closing.
Yes.
And the middle.
And then 48 minutes of.
And you have to escape from a hog time the whole time. Yeah. It could be the middle. And then 48 minutes of. And you have to escape from a hog time.
Yeah.
The whole time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
It could be the longest, maybe that's a world record,
the longest impersonation of a pig.
Yes.
That's probably 50 minutes.
While covered in oil.
What?
Well, because they were longer.
Beautiful.
People were trying to escape as a pig or whatever.
So you had to add an extra element.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was oil.
Yeah.
All right, the answers are it was oil. Yeah.
All right, the answers are in for question number three.
What was the nickname of early 1900s baseballer Charlie Hickman?
Here are your six options.
The gnat with the bat.
Piano legs.
The dinger.
The wichita pitchita.
I love that one.
The wet hickey or the big stick man.
These all sound so weird.
Old-timey nicknames are always a bit weird.
Charlie Hickman, the big stick man.
So you've got the gnat with the bat, piano legs, the dinger,
the wichita, pichita, the wet hickey or the big stick man.
And his name was Charlie Hickman. Charlie Hickman.
Raven, what are you thinking?
I like piano legs because it kind of, oh,
maybe he's just a really fast runner.
He's just.
No, he's a piano.
Fast like a piano.
Famously fast piano.
That's where my mind goes.
He must do a lot of runs.
Yeah, I reckon he's a piano man.
Piano legs for Ewan.
Piano man.
Billy Joel.
That's so good.
You a baseballer, Portelli?
Yes.
You got a bit of big baseball vibe about you?
Yeah, I love baseball.
Yeah.
The sport of baseball. Yeah, the sport of baseball is what we're talking about. Yeah. America I love baseball. Yeah. The sport of baseball.
Yeah, the sport of baseball is what we're talking about.
Yeah.
America's pastime.
Yeah.
Australia's, like, if you're kind of a bit weird, pastime.
Yeah.
I'm wearing an Australian baseball hat at the moment.
This is the Melbourne Aces.
Oh.
So you're trying really hard to be obscure.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no. moment this is the melbourne aces oh wow so you're trying really hard to be obscure yeah yeah oh no it was just a hat a guy gave me oh well that's fine a few years ago i posted about how i lost my favorite hat and i posted like
20 photos of me wearing that hat yeah and then uh this guy from tassie and the comedy scene down
there he's got a connection to australian baseball and he gave me like 10, every team in Australian baseball, their hat.
Rude.
That must be really valuable.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's why the gesture was so meaningful.
There's 10 teams.
What's the Queensland one?
Do you know?
Oh, the Brisbane Boys.
The Brisbane Boys.
Oh, yeah.
Helmed by old piano legs.
The Brisbane bandits.
Very close.
Perth hate.
Yeah, the Perth.
Really?
So every sport gets a heat team.
Yeah, every sport.
A lot of the WA teams have heat, like the Perth Scorchers in 2020.
But in 2020, Brisbane are the heat, aren't they?
Yeah, I know Brisbane had a heat.
Miami's the heat.
Miami's got heat.
Jeez.
A lot of connections there.
A lot of connections there.
A lot of hot places in the world.
So, Raewyn's locked in piano legs.
Did I get an answer from you, Portelli?
You tell me.
I know.
I haven't written anything down.
The Stickman.
Stickman for Portelli, which I'm putting down an A for.
Yes.
Good learning.
What are you thinking, Prue?
I can't go past the Wichita Pichita.
Okay.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
The Gnat with the Bat, that was written by the house,
especially by Riley, the question writer.
The Dinger was written by Portelli.
That's a baseball term, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's hitting a really big one, isn't it? Yeah, that was me trying.
You're counting on us having knowledge about baseball.
In America, that means a big baseball hit.
In Australia, that means a condom.
Yeah, true.
So it works in two ways.
The wet hickey, that was Raewyn.
Can you talk us through that one?
Well, because of the Hickman.
Oh, yeah.
And the wetness.
A little twist.
A bit of spice.
The Big Stickman.
That was Prue.
Pretty good.
Love that rhyming word.
That is really good.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah.
You'd want that nickname.
The Big Stickman.
Yeah. Andrew the Big Stickman Portelli want that nickname. The Big Stick Man. Yeah.
Andrew the Big Stick Man Portelli.
Tell me you don't want it. I don't want it.
He gave you what you wanted there, Prue.
So that's one point for Prue.
The Wichita Pichita, that was the house.
It was really good, the house.
Thank you very much, Prue.
But Raewyn was correct.
It was piano legs.
See, that reasoning.
You laughed at it.
What reasoning?
I still don't understand.
It was sound reasoning.
But it's just pianos.
You go up and down the keys.
So it was real piano legs.
So that's one point for Raewyn, one point for Prue,
one point for the house.
And I couldn't figure it out either.
I did a lot of Googling last night trying to figure out how we got
this nickname.
So we're never going to get closure on that.
Makes sense.
The only, I'm going to quote.
In what way?
Was one leg black and one was white?
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't that be?
That would make sense.
Piano keys though, wouldn't it be?
Oh, yeah.
Piano key legs.
But what legs does a piano have?
Yeah, wouldn't they be similar to like a table's legs or something?
Yeah, I know, Ray.
You keep saying it like it's obvious.
It's not obvious.
Just think about it for a second.
I'm picturing a piano in my mind.
Yeah, and how fast they roll.
Well, I think it seems like maybe it means the opposite
to what you said because this is from a 1906 Washington Times article
which wrote, there's been a lot of fun poked at the piano legs
of C. Hickman, but as a matter of fact,
he gets over the ground at a surprising rate of speed.
Okay.
So it's sort of saying like despite the nickname,
piano legs is actually pretty quick.
So he moves like he has two pianos for legs.
He must have big legs.
Big thighs.
Because I'm picturing like every piano would have a different sort of,
there'd be piano with skinny legs and pianos with big legs, wouldn't there?
Pianos definitely have feet.
Feet.
Oh, you know what?
I've been picturing a studio piano, like the one that goes against the wall.
Right.
Grand piano has legs.
Has legs, yes.
I've been doing the same thing.
Yeah.
But I've been doing it for longer.
I've been doing it since yesterday.
All right.
We're up to question number four.
This one comes from Eva Redman of Tasmania.
The question is, what was the Northern Territory News,
the NT News front page headline on the 30th of September 2010?
The NT News, famously kind of wacky out there headlines.
So what was the NT News front page headline on the 30th of September 2010?
While you're writing those answers,
here's a little bit more information about old piano legs.
According to sabr.org,
piano legs possessed one of the dead ball era's most potent bats.
In 1903, Hickman hit one ball 100 feet over the left field fence
at Cleveland's League Park
and another completely out of New York's Hilltop Park. So basically he'd smashed the ball a long, long way. Throughout his 12 year
major league career, he was always a fan favorite. His genial nature, outgoing personality and
friendliness were hallmarks throughout his life. In reporting his passing, the Morgantown Post said
it could be safely said he had no personal enemies.
Which is a wild.
Was that proven?
It sounds a bit defensive, doesn't it? Yeah.
He certainly had no personal enemies.
You can safely say that.
I would have thought that's most people, right?
I've got enemies.
I mean, you've got.
I'm not saying all people.
Prue's obviously got quite a few personal enemies.
Of course.
But, yeah, apparently this led to one of his other nicknames.
It was sort of they were under.
The Stick Man.
The Stick Man.
Cheerful Charlie was one of his other nicknames.
Yuck.
Cheerful Charlie.
Don't like that.
Cheerful Charlie, the old piano legs.
Yeah.
You take piano legs over cheerful Charlie?
Yeah.
Come here, piano legs.
Come here, piano legs.
Your name for a dog or something?
Or a lover.
Oh, lover, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I talk to dogs like lovers.
A lot of people do.
All right.
The answers are in.
Here is question number four.
What was the NT News front page headline on the 30th of September 2010?
Croc on the rock.
Crocodile spotted on Uluru.
Deadly croc hocks Doc's socks.
Crocodile done-y.
Man finds full-size crocodile using his toilet.
Unidentified flying wardrobe set to take territory fashion
into the space age.
Crocodoodle do.
It's really crock-related.
An unlikely friendship.
Has this farmer stumped?
Or horny ghost haunts house.
If you thought Casper was friendly, you should meet Kevin.
I think I've seen that one.
Well, that could be a good clue.
Did you see it on the 30th of September 2010, though?
No, I saw it on Pornhub.
Do you need to hear them again or you got them all down?
Could I hear them again, please, Matthew?
Croc on the rock.
Crocodile spotted on Uluru.
Deadly croc hock stock socks.
Crocodile Darnie.
I don't know what that is.
Hox, dox?
Deadly croc, hox, dox, socks.
What do you think that is trying to say?
I think it's saying that a deadly croc stole some adopter's socks.
Oh, right.
Hox, dox, socks.
Okay, I get it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Crocodile Darnie.
Man finds full-size crocodile using his toilet.
Unidentified flying wardrobe set to take territory fashion into the space age.
Crocodoodledoo.
An unlikely friendship has this farmer stumped.
Or horny ghost haunts house.
If you thought Casper was friendly, you should meet Kevin.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
I like Crocodoodledoo. Crocod wow, wow. I like Crock-a-doodle-doo.
Crock-a-doodle-doo.
Crock-a-doodle-doo.
Crock-a-doodle-doo for Prue.
Yes, please.
I'll lock that in.
Crock-a-doodle-prue.
Yes, it just makes sense.
That's your next show.
That's your next show, yeah.
When you tour Northern Territory.
I'm going to start stealing Raewyn's content.
What do you reckon, Portelli?
The ghost one.
Ghost one?
Yeah.
I would have bet my life that you wrote that.
Me too.
Imagine that's why you died.
I made a bad bet.
Go big or go home, I guess.
I absolutely would have guessed that too.
It's like horny ghost.
That is Portelli's brand.
Is it really?
I don't know what my brand is, so that's interesting.
Yeah, okay.
You've learned a lot.
It's one of the tricks to figuring out comedy, right?
Knowing how the audience sees you.
Does this help you?
No.
They're just always laughing so hard I can't work it out.
If anything, their eyes are closed.
They're concentrating on the jokes.
Yeah.
And how much they're enjoying it.
What about you, Raewyn?
I like the Dunny one.
The Crocodile Dunny.
All right, looking in for Raewyn.
I wrote that.
Can I change my answer?
You can't let them get the answer.
All right, here's who wrote the answers.
Croc on the Rock.
Crocodile spotted on Uluru.
That was Portelli.
How did it get in there?
What's that?
How did it get in there?
Well, that's why it's such a great idea for a story.
That would be front page news.
That would be front page news if there was a croc.
Beautiful.
On the rock.
On Uluru, yeah.
Deadly croc, hox, doc, socks.
That was the house.
You really had to justify it.
I know.
Well, it actually makes quite a lot of sense.
But hox means sell. Damn. Okay. know, like, well, it actually makes quite a lot of sense. But hox means sell.
Damn.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, then what it is is a deadly croc sold a doctor's socks.
Yeah.
That makes slightly less sense somehow.
I'm like, it doesn't make any, okay.
Damn.
What does it mean?
Need for currency.
Yeah, hox means sell.
I don't know why I thought it meant steal.
I feel foolish now.
Unidentified flying wardrobe set to take territory fashion in the space age.
That was also the house.
I was struggling to think of a second one.
Yeah.
So I just pointed it in my room.
And, you know, the wardrobe.
It would have either been about a bed or a wardrobe.
Barely needed to point.
Or a scary ventriloquist stunning.
That's true.
They're the three things I sleep with.
Or an Australian baseball team cap.
Well, ten to choose from.
That means one of the three of you is correct.
Crocodile Dunny.
Man finds full-size crocodile
using his toilet which raywin picked that was prue it's one point to prue
uh crockadoodle do an unlikely friendship has this farmer stumped which prue picked that was
raywin and a little point swap there meaning the portelli was. Horny ghost haunts house. What? If you thought Casper was friendly, you should meet Kevin.
That means one point to Raewyn, one point to Prue,
and one point to Portelli.
So you genuinely remembered that article?
No, no, no.
I was joking about seeing that as a porno.
I thought you were just a big reader.
Yeah.
I mean, I am a big reader.
I thought you were just a big reader.
Yeah.
I mean, I am a big reader.
That's why you have the subtitles on the porn.
That's actually pretty good.
Oh, thanks.
No, like that you could, yeah.
That could be five minutes.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's not what she said, said. Oh, the champ is coming.
All right, so quick score update.
We've got in fourth place on two points, it is Portelli.
In equal second place, it is Raewyn and the House on three points.
But out in front of four points, it's Prue.
Prue has just been scoring one point every round.
Is that not what you're meant to do?
No, I think you're nailing it.
Yeah, okay, great.
I mean, ideally you'd get two points in a round or even three.
How do I do that?
Oh, someone guesses me.
Two people guess you.
You guess correct.
You get the maximum three points.
I can only dream of such heights.
But at this stage, it is anyone's game.
Portelli could jump into the lead with a three-point round now.
As we head into question number five, three questions to go.
This one comes from David Malofsky from London, England,
and his question is, which of these is a real reptile?
Which of these is a real reptile?
So you've basically just got to come up with a fake reptile species.
Oh, so that's the whole question.
Yeah.
So you just make up, ideally not a, yeah,
you don't want to accidentally do a real one.
But it's got to sound realistic enough that, oh, someone else might make it.
I mean, geez, it's a fine art, isn't it?
Love it, love it.
While you're writing your answers,
let me fill in some more info for you on that horny ghost story.
The Northern Territory news is behind a paywall, but I found another story about it on Nine News, which wrote,
A Northern Territory woman who claims to have been pulled out of bed by a horny ghost that haunts her house says she has no plans to get rid of it.
Jennifer Mills Young, 47, who lives near Darwin, has become a media sensation after claiming her home is haunted by a ghost she calls Kevin.
She claims she was grabbed by Kevin while she was asleep but managed to shake him off.
He grabbed my wrist and started pulling me up.
I was thinking, what do you want me to do?
When I opened my eyes, I realised what was going on.
I had locked my door, but now it was ajar.
When he got into bed with me, crossed the line and i had to let him
know that but mrs mills young insisted she did not mind kevin being around the house he wasn't rough
there was no aggression i'm used to him she said her husband jeff also 47 spoke to non-msn from
paca panil where he is stationed with the defense force my wife's had a lot to do with ghosts he
said it doesn't it sound
to you like she's having affairs?
Yeah. She's sleeping with a ghost.
And Kevin knows.
Yes. Oh no, Kevin's the ghost.
Jeff. Jeff knows.
Jeff goes on, and I've
also seen Kevin. Earlier this year I saw
someone walking through the house from a gate
on one side of the house to the other. I jumped up
but no one was there. They say their son and daughter aged 19 and 20 have also seen kevin so i think
this whole family has fucked kevin the family has lived in the house for almost two years it is
leased from a private company by the defense force neither jeff or jennifer knows the history of the
building mrs mills young said there is no history of drink or drug problems in the family. I don't know why I laughed there.
And why is the ghost?
It's just funny the journalist is like,
and just double checking any history of drink or drug abuse.
Well, I guess this is legit then.
Finally, they asked, why is the ghost called Kevin?
Because she named the ghost herself.
And she said, Darwin is a very blokey place.
And Kevin is about as blokey a name as you can get.
Oh, it's a blokey ghost.
Yeah, I guess it's a blokey ghost.
A horny ghost, a blokey ghost.
One and the same.
Is Kevin a blokey name?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just double checking.
Obviously.
Kevin.
Are we sure that it's not less blokey than Matt?
Yeah.
I think Matt is really testosterone charged.
No variation in the types of Matt you meet.
I think Kevin, I think of like, you know,
Kevin McAllister from Home Alone.
I guess he's pretty blokey.
He's a little boy, so probably too early to say.
Yeah, that's true.
Look at that little bloke.
He's committing like salt.
That's true.
Setting traps.
Yeah.
Okay, the answers are in.
So here is question number five.
Which of these is a real reptile?
Satanic leaf-tailed gecko, a vimalay, which is a lizard from Guatemala
that can, if frightened, release a pleasant aroma similar to mangoes.
The huge honking lizard.
The loose-arsed-arse lizard big schlong.
That one sounds right to me.
Dr. Schlong, I think I know him, that one.
The scaly brow lizard or normal snake with human eyes?
There is a fish with human teeth.
Oh, my God, that's awful.
Yeah, there you go. What do you mean?
That it is a real animal that exists.
Yeah.
Its mouth is full of human teeth.
What do you mean its mouth is full of human teeth?
I don't think we need to explore it.
Human-like teeth? Human- human teeth. What do you mean its mouth is full of human teeth? I don't think we need to explore it. Human-like teeth?
Human-like teeth.
Yeah, you can see why.
It's very explanatory.
Not just loose teeth.
Just hanging out the back of your teeth.
It's always just going around.
Rattle around.
And does it smile?
I guess I'd do a say for it.
I don't know if I want to look this up or not.
No, look it up.
Please look it up.
Does it have lips?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
And a tongue?
It's real.
Oh, no.
No.
No, I don't like it.
Oh, no.
Hey, Jamie, pull this up.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that's cool.
Nature is beautiful.
Yeah. So mysterious. I'm going to try and forget about that before I. Nature is beautiful. Yeah.
I'm going to try and forget about that before I go to bed tonight.
I'm looking up at homelessness.
Does anyone have any inkling on which way they want to go here?
Oh, can I hear them again?
Sure.
Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
The Vimalay, the Guatemalan one that releases aroma similar to mangoes.
Overexplained.
I agree.
The huge honking lizard.
The loose-arsed arse lizard big schlong.
To me that one sounds right.
The scaly brow lizard or normal snake with human eyes.
I still can't remember them.
I'm going to need to hear them one more time.
Roll it through.
So you have the satanic leaf-tailed gecko, vimalae, huge honking lizard,
loose-arsed arse lizard, big schlong, scaly brow lizard or normal snake with human eyes.
Yeah, okay.
I'm going to go first and go huge honking lizard, I reckon.
Wow, Jane, you know animals.
Strange enough, but yeah.
Huge honking lizard for Eowyn.
Portelli or Prue, any thoughts here?
I'm still trying to remember what they are.
Yeah, I think I'd like to go the satanic gecko.
Satanic leaf-tailed gecko for Prue.
I've seen geckos torment my family's cats before.
Yeah.
Quite a satanic one.
With their leaf tails.
With their leaf tails.
What was the third one?
Huge honking lizard. And What was the third one?
Huge honking lizard.
And what was the fourth one?
Loose arse arse lizard big schlong.
You were really confident on that one.
Yeah.
The second one?
The bimale with the mango smell.
Okay.
I'm going to go for the first one.
Satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
Yeah.
All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers.
Oh, there was the normal.
Normal snake with human eyes.
That one as well.
A beautiful name for a boy or girl.
That one was actually written by the house.
Oh.
And it's funny because I toyed with normal snake with human mouth.
Wow.
That would have got me.
That was very close to that fish.
That's just a flashlight.
Oh, God. That's beautiful. What was very close to that fish. That's just a fleshlight. Oh, God.
That's beautiful.
What a beautiful way to describe it.
Scaly brow lizard, that was Prue.
Loose-arsed arse lizard, big schlong.
That was Portelli.
That was a house.
The Vimalay with the mango smell, that was Raewyn.
Yeah, look, I thought you had to have a little thing.
So, yes, it was over-explained.
It was over-explained.
I wasn't sure.
That happened on a previous episode where Andy Matthews over-explained one
and I only just read the name and he was like,
and is there any other info on that fourth option?
So I'm like, oh, I guess I better.
People have won.
You know the whole thing.
So I was torn which way to go there, but sorry if I butchered that for you
or didn't explain the question very well.
Although the other two people seem to understand.
Okay, all right.
The huge honking lizard which Raewyn went for, that was the house.
I mean, the correct answer is the satanic leaf-tailed gecko.
How did you do?
How did you do it again i explained my
reasoning um the first time i believe yeah so that's it was more of a rhetorical logical guesses
based on the best possible information okay that's an interesting strategy funny funny
oh all right quick score update uh we've now got on three points, Raewyn and Portelli.
The house on four points, but out in front it's Prue on five points.
Damn.
It is still truly anyone's game.
But less so every round.
Wow.
Real cocky there, Prue.
Everyone can still get six points over the last two rounds,
three points up for grabs each time.
So it really is anyone's game.
I'm not going to fall from grace.
Question six was written by John Wick in brackets.
Yes, that's my real name.
From middle of somewhere.
And John's question.
Well, that makes me less sweet.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
John's question is, a sporting event was interrupted in Toronto
on the 28th of August, 1990.
What happened?
A sporting event was interrupted in Toronto on the 28th of August, 1990.
What happened?
This time, Rae, you can give a bit more info if you like.
Okay.
You can name the sport if you wanted to.
You don't have to.
I guess, you know, you take it for a walk, see where you end up.
And while you're writing those answers,
here's some more info on satanic
leaf-tailed geckos according to animalia.bio the satanic leaf-tailed gecko is a small species of
gecko that can be found only on the island of madagascar the gecko occurs in a variety of
colors including hues of purple orange tan and yellow but is often mottled brown with small
black dots on the underside that help to distinguish it from similar species.
It has long spines on the head, body, and trunk.
The tail is flattened and has a leaf-like appearance,
and it looks so much like a leaf it freaks me out a bit.
Not as much as a fish with teeth, but human teeth.
It's on the list.
It's on the list.
Some geckos even have notches in their tails to further mimic a decaying leaf,
and this trait seems more common in the males of the species.
In addition, the satanic leaf-tailed gecko has an eyelash-like projection
above each eye.
During daylight hours, these adaptations help the gecko blend
into its surroundings, and at night it helps the gecko hunt for prey
by providing camouflage.
I'm looking at this gecko. This is baby dragon oh do you think dragon like qualities yeah i think yeah don't like
you mean like a mythical sort of dragon yeah totally totally that's wild winged yeah it's
quite an incredible looking thing but yeah what do you think of that tail it's like it looks so
much like a leaf to me yeah i'll tell? It looks so much like a leaf to me. Yeah.
I'll tell you it looks a lot like a leaf to
anyone.
Personally, I, in my experience,
I see it like a leaf. I don't know
if everyone can see it in the way I do,
but I'm pretty creative. It evolved
that way. Yeah, it's almost
like that. That's my theory.
God made it like that.
Do you think? Works in mysterious ways. It's true. That's my theory. God made it like that. Do you think?
Works in mysterious ways.
It's true.
Funny, poor Telly.
Oh, I'll probably see that.
All right, just waiting for Rae when she's here.
Sorry.
Okay.
No, that's okay.
Oh, I didn't.
You really took that add more information to heart.
All right, here's question number six.
A sporting event was interrupted in Toronto on the 28th of August 1990.
What happened?
The first major professional eating contest ended in controversy
when one of the contestants in the Vegemite Eating Challenge
was found to be using Nutella.
Tim Hortons opened their first store and everyone left the stadium to get their five free Tim
bits.
An ice hockey match was cancelled after a wild bear entered the arena.
Not a tame bear.
Six naked men covered in oil disturbed an ice hockey game by being too slippery to be
caught in the rink.
A major league baseball game between the Toronto Blue Jays
and the Milwaukee Brewers was halted because of a swarm of bugs
or a pitch invader ran onto a curling rink.
The twist?
He had diarrhoea.
Wow. It's quite a mental image. Yeah. Wow
It's quite a mental image
Yeah
I guess those brooms they used in curling would have come in handy
You couldn't use them again though
No
One and done
Any thoughts here?
Anyone got an instinct?
I feel like I've gone first Yeah, Portela, you want to jump in here? Anyone got an instinct? I feel like I've gone first.
Yeah, Portela, you want to jump in here?
Yes, I would love to.
Can I have those options again?
Professional eating contest where someone had subbed in Nutella
instead of Vegemite.
No.
No, why would Canadians be eating Vegemite?
Tim Hortons opened the first store and everyone left the stadium
to get their five free Timbits.
That'd keep going.
An ice hockey match was cancelled after a wild bear entered the arena.
Lock it in.
Okay.
Locking that in for Portelli.
Then we had six naked men covered in oil disturbed an ice hockey game
by being too slippery to be caught.
Oh, no.
Can I change?
Yes.
The bugs one.
The bugs one.
Yeah.
Lock that one in.
A major league baseball game between the Toronto Blue Jays
and the Milwaukee Brewers was halted because of a swarm of bugs
or a pitch invader ran onto a curling rink.
The twist?
Yeah, diarrhea.
I like the twist.
Yeah.
But I think I'm going to go oily boys.
Oily boys for Prue.
What are you thinking, Ray?
Maybe the bug one because it was quite specific.
It's like Toronto Blue Jays.
But then you know your.
Specific like what the house would write.
Exactly.
Specific and yet not over explained.
There was no twist.
The twist? Oh, yeah, sorry. All of them was no twist. The twist?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
All of them had a twist that I didn't.
Tim Hortons opened their first store and everyone left the stadium
to get their free Timbits.
The twist?
The Timbits gave them diarrhea.
Actually flows perfectly into the next story.
Yeah, no, I'm going to do the bug one too.
The bug one too?
All right, locking that in.
Here's who wrote the answers.
The Vegemite one, that was the house.
Tim Hortons, that one was Prue.
So Canadian.
Yeah, good specificity.
What's a Timbit?
A Timbit is like, like a donut hole.
Yeah.
Oh.
A glazed donut hole.
Oh, that sounds awesome.
They call them bites at Krispy Kreme because, well, yeah.
Right.
You call them a Krimbit.
Krimbit.
Rather than a Timbit because Tim's Tim Hortons, right?
I call it a cream hole.
Oh.
Your thing is cream holes, right?
The ice hockey match being cancelled because of a wild bear.
That was also the house.
Thank God I changed.
A pitch invader ran onto a curling rink.
The twist.
He had diarrhoea.
That was poor Telly.
Yes.
I don't remember running that.
I was going to say.
Man's one of you is correct.
Six naked men covered in oil disturbed an ice hockey game
by being too slippery to be caught in the rink.
That was Raewyn.
Good job, Raewyn.
It seems very Canadian.
Yeah.
One point for Raewyn there.
But the correct answer was a Major League Baseball game
between the Toronto Blue Jays and Milwaukee Brewers
was halted because of a swarm of bugs.
So that means one point to Portelli and two points to Raewyn.
Unbelievable.
Our first multi-point round.
And also, Prue's hot streak comes to an end.
Wow, it had to happen.
I actually threw it.
But that has done amazing things to the scoreline.
After six rounds with only one question to come,
the scoreline is now the house on four points,
Portelli on four points,
Raewyn on five points,
Pru on five points.
Wow.
Throw a blanket over this field.
It is anyone's game.
This really is anyone's game.
All right.
So the final question comes from Joel Acklin from Arlington in Texas.
And we always finish with a film synopsis question.
This week, the question is, what is the synopsis for the 1987 film Street Trash?
What is the synopsis for the 1987 film Street Trash?
And while your answers are being written, here is some more information about the baseball bugs via a Seattle Times report from the following day. Swarms of
Nats had players swatting at midair, causing a 35-minute delay last night in the American League
game between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Milwaukee Brewers, enforcing closure of the
stadium's retractable roof. I've never seen anything like it, said umpire Don Denkner,
the crew chief who stopped the game in the fifth inning. I've seen games
called by rain, wind and snow, but never bugs. Denkner said there were so many bugs it was
impossible for not only the players, but the umpires as well. The tiny insects forced players
to run for cover and spray each other with insect repellent. Milwaukee pitcher Ted Huguera had
hundreds on him. They were all over his shoulder, arms and head, Brewer manager Tom Treblehorn said.
It's so funny this has been reported on like it's a real serious thing.
There were bugs on him.
Like he had bugs on his shoulders and head, honestly.
And that's it?
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
And the game was stopped for a bit over half an hour.
Wait, can I ask, when was Street Trash, what year was it?
1987.
Okay, great.
Thank you.
So the one that specifically talks about the, like,
Bob Hawke prime ministership or something.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
That's like quite clearly a Raven one.
Higuera handled the bugs and the Blue Jays tossing a six-hitter
in his team's 4-2 victory.
The problem lessened with the roof closed and the air conditioning turned up.
I had air-conditioned stadiums back in 1990.
Truly, Canada lives in the future.
I really do need absolute silence for this one.
Yeah, it's the hardest one to write.
It's so hard.
Just add that extra line in there for you, Portelli.
I'm guessing that's meant to go, that extra little tidbit?
Yes.
Go.
Do you think this is going to give it away?
I think this is going to give it away, but it's okay.
We're like, oh, it feels like there was a later edition.
It should have finished there.
I don't think so.
I like the paranoia, though.
All right, the answers are in.
For question number seven.
What is the synopsis for the 1987 film Street Trash?
It's time for New York City to take out the trash, the street trash.
The NYPD are cracking down on littering in an epic and high-stakes tale
about answering the call of duty, finding generosity in the most unexpected places,
and keeping things nice and tidy.
But maybe a little bit of a mess is what keeps life interesting.
That's option one.
Beautiful.
Option two, a liquor store owner discovers a crate of booze
in the basement of his store and decides to make quick cash
by selling it to local homeless people for cheap.
Not only is the booze 40 years out of date,
it also causes whoever drinks it to melt in an extremely gory fashion.
That's option two.
Option three, a musical comedy starring Barbara Streisand
details a young woman's journey growing up homeless
and learning how to better her community.
That's option three.
Option four, two lazy hazmat cleaners hide some barrels of toxic waste
in the dump so they can take off work early. That sounds great.
That sounds like an additional line.
Okay.
That's like an additional line.
Okay.
A man's battle to cover his street with trash because he wrote a lot of rude words on the street,
such as bum and penis, while he was drunk on street rum he found in the sewer in a shoe that also had a condom in it.
The twist?
He had worms and a big anus.
Well, finally, Joanie, a sex worker in New York City, has had enough.
One day her pimp pushes her too far and she finally kills him.
She knows there are more guys like him out there,
and so Joanie takes to the streets to clean up the trash.
Oh.
Wow.
Feminist tale.
So you've got six options there.
Wow. Do you want me to go through them briefly again? Or you got six options there. Wow.
Do you want me to go through them briefly again or you got?
I think I've got mine.
I think I've got mine.
Okay, great.
Could I hear the last one and the mutant one?
Yep.
In full?
If that's okay.
Yep.
So the last one was,
Joanie, a sex worker in New York City has had enough.
One day her pimp pushes her too far and she finally kills him.
She knows there are more guys like him out there and so Joanie takes to the streets to clean up the trash.
And the other one was, what was the other one?
The toxic waste dump one?
Yeah.
Two lazy hazmat cleaners hide some barrels of toxic waste in the dump
so they can take off work early the
barrels get knocked over and bring the trash in the dump to life as the trash monster goes on a
rampage the two cleaners now have an even bigger mess on their hands then we had the one about the
guy he wrote all the rude words oh and he also has worms in a big anus we had the musical comedy
with barbara streisand her journey growing up homeless, learning how to better the community.
We had the liquor store owner discovering a crate of booze.
He sold it cheap to homeless people, but it was way out of date
and it ended up melting whoever drank it.
Or the one about the NYPD cracking down on littering,
but maybe a little bit of mess is what keeps life interesting.
Okay.
What are you thinking, Raewyn?
I am thinking that I would also watch the last one about Joni,
the sex worker.
I reckon it's that.
You're going to lock that one in?
I think the one I would most want to watch, which I guess is what we –
It's a different – I mean, it's a different question.
I believe that's the question.
Barbra Streisand musical. Barbra Streisand musical.
Barbra Streisand musical.
For Prue, what are you thinking, port man?
I think it's the one about the man with the big anus.
Okay, lock in.
Hang on.
I think technically we might not be able to have you lock that one in.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
I'm just my computer program here isn't allowing it for some reason.
Okay.
Maybe do you want to have another try?
Okay.
I don't understand why.
If the program says that's not possible.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's weird.
It's never happened before.
Okay.
Can I lock in the first one, whatever that is?
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
Okay, so a man's battle to cover his street art with trash
because he wrote a lot of rude words on the street,
such as bum and penis, et cetera.
That was Portelli.
That must have been why you couldn't lock it in
because you can't lock in your own answer.
Oh, I think when I was writing it, I had such a sort of creative moment
that I must have blacked out.
You're on a flow state.
Yeah, I was in such a deep flow state and then when I came to,
I didn't remember writing it.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it just sounded the most.
It sounded the most plausible to me.
The two lazy hazmat cleaners who ended up creating a monster.
That was written by Joel, the question writer, a.k.a. The House.
That one was good.
That sounded like Toxic Avenger.
Very 80s.
Then we had Joni, the sex worker in New York City who had had enough,
which Raewyn picked.
That was also The House.
Two points for The House.
One. One point for The House. One.
One point for The House.
Oh, thank God.
So Joel wrote that one as well, The Question Writer,
which I found because the two you asked to be read again,
they were both Joel's.
They were very convincing, I thought.
Oh, maybe like he had more time.
Hey, don't sass Joel.
I love how defensive that was.
I think Joel did a really good job, personally.
I think I really respect Joel and I admire him.
I would imagine he had a silent room.
The musical comedy starring Barbra Streisand,
the Prue pic, that was written by Rae Wynn. Oh, we did watch a Barbra Streisand, The Prue Pick, that was written by Raewyn.
Oh, we did watch a Barbra Streisand movie recently.
Yeah.
Numa Weekly.
Point for Raewyn there.
And then, Portella, you went for the New York City Police
cleaning up the streets.
That was written by Prue, meaning no one got the correct answer.
A liquor store owner discovers a crate of booze in the basement of his store
and decides to make quick cash by selling to local homeless people,
which ends up melting them all in extremely gory fashion.
Wow.
So it is a horror.
It's a low budget sort of.
I'll tell you a bit more about it in a second,
but that means we've got one point to Prue, one point to Ray,
and one point to the house.
All right, I'll add up the scores in a second.
Carry the two.
In the meantime. Oh, no I'll add up the scores in a second. Carry the two. In the meantime.
Oh, no.
Oh, the computer's working.
So it has a 62% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Not great.
Reviewer Bill Gibron loved it, saying,
Street Trash is a celebration of all that is excessive
and exciting in the world of splatter films.
It is a truly misguided masterwork.
Reviewer Brian Eggert hated it though, writing,
street trash feels so determined to offend every demographic
that it abandons any relationship with audiences besides an ironic one.
According to our question writer, Joel,
the writer of the movie said he wrote it to offend everyone on earth equally.
The director went on to be, I think it's his only film he ever directed,
but he went on to be one of the highest paid cameramen in Hollywood
doing Steadicam for Terminator 2 and Titanic.
Wow.
So Joel points out a couple of the things that happen in the film,
saying there's a part of the movie where a guy gets his dick cut off
and people play hot potato with it.
And one guy drinks the booze while he's on the toilet and flushes himself.
Well, it doesn't sound like it would offend me at all.
Yeah.
He says, great movie, highly recommended.
Wow.
All right.
The final scores are in.
In fourth place on four points, it's Andrew Portelli.
Thanks, everyone.
In third place on five points. It's The House.
But the equal winners, each on six points, is Raewyn and Prue.
Yay!
Well done.
What a beautiful game and a beautiful result.
I thought it could have been anyone's right down to the final buzzer.
Yeah.
Prue, where can people find you?
Oh, you can find me at Prue Blake Comedy everywhere.
Fantastic.
Just anywhere you'd look.
And what festivals are you doing in 2023?
I will be doing Perth Fringe World in February 7 to the 19th,
I think, with my show Unfriended.
And I'll also be doing that show at the Melbourne International
Comedy Festival.
Sick.
How about you, Portelli?
My Instagram is EnterThePman um and i've got a
website as well called andrewportelli.com um i'm doing a festival show called hey great to catch
up in perth adelaide and melbourne and maybe some other places i think if you just um go on my
instagram there's a link to all the different places
to buy tickets.
And people have been saying best, what are they saying,
the funniest show, world record for the funniest ever show?
That's the early buzz I heard.
Oh, that's new to me.
Most oil on a man.
Yeah, that one I know about because I had to buy the oil.
And Raewyn, what about you?
I am doing a Melbourne Comedy Festival show.
It's called Bush Week and you can find me on Instagram.
Just Raewyn's pics is probably the best spot.
Yeah, that would be great.
Come along.
Awesome.
And you're undefeated, two from two.
Unbelievable.
I've beat the house both times as well.
I'm on a real losing streak
we've had seven in a row
of loss
thanks so much
everyone for listening
as we are still
a relatively new show
it'd be great
if you could help
get the word out there
please give us a five star review
and tell your friends
if you think you know
anyone who might enjoy it
cheers for tuning in
to Who Knew With Matt Stewart
now that you know it
I've been Matt Stewart
goodbye been Matt Stewart. Goodbye.
Well, that's a perfect take.