Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 25 - Jordan Barr, Urvi Majumdar and Raewyn Pickering
Episode Date: February 27, 2023Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Jordan Barr, Urvi Majumdar and Raewyn Pickering!Check out Matt's... stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the
Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to
all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com.
Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart,
the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week
is host of Deathbed Comedy, it's Raewyn Pickering.
Oh, hello.
Thank you, Matthew.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Our second guest this week from Metrosexual, it's Irvi Majumdar.
Hey.
And our third final contestant this week from the Pop Gaze podcast,
it's Jordan Barr.
Hey.
No copying.
I don't really know.
When you get introduced sometimes, what do you say?
What do you say, Matt?
Oh, yeah, I don't know.
Hey.
I thought you all played that real cool actually
you want to be like psycho or anything no yeah all right so the way the show works is i ask a
relatively obscure trivia question and how contestants have to write a convincing fake
answer i then read their answers as well as the real one and i have to guess which one is correct
okay are we ready to play the first question comes
from listener ethan bricknell and ashley john so it's one of these rare combo efforts bricknell and
john bricknell and john can you believe they're involved there's like an old-timey fairy tale
couple b and j if you will
uh and b and j from south morang just out of town here in in melbourne and their question is what
is the meaning of the 19th century word scambler all right while they're writing their answers
i'll explain how the scoring works so you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other
contestant or one of the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer
and by the way i'm also playing as the house.
I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question
with the help of the question writers,
and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose.
So each of us can score up to three points per round,
which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me, the house.
And the house always wins.
If you've not listened to previous episodes,
you won't know that that really is not true.
I very rarely win.
Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters.
And if you want to submit a question,
sign up at any level via patreon.com slash digonpod,
which is linked in the show notes.
Yeah, I feel I don't like winning anyway.
So it actually doesn't even really matter.
Oh, no, me neither.
I feel like I won last time, though.
Yeah, you are a winner.
Yeah.
You're a proven winner.
I'm a proven winner.
I feel like Rowan's going to win again.
I know.
Rowan's really good at life.
Oh, yeah.
Life and games.
The game of life.
Herbie and I are like two little hairs that you find in the shower.
With, like, clumps on it.
You're trying to get out of the drain.
Like, let me help you.
I'm going to put it back in the drain.
It's sad.
Let it clog.
Come on, that's all it wants to do.
It just wants to clog.
It's just feeling a little cloggy today.
All right, the answers are in.
So here is question number one.
What is the meaning of the 19th century word scambler?
A cobbler who scams people by selling shoes that are designed
to wear out quickly, necessitating the need to buy another pair.
An egg beater in a tumbler.
A scamming artist who has a speech impediment.
That was an example here.
Hey, mum, I lost my phone, blah.
An uninvited guest who appears only at mealtimes,
a male ape that prefers human women over their primate counterparts,
or someone who likes a fake drink from a water bubbler.
One of these is the real meaning of Scambler.
Do you write the other options or do you use the AI bot?
Some of these sound a bit like they were written by a non-human.
For some reason everyone keeps bringing up AI bots in my life for the last time.
I haven't tried one yet.
I haven't tried one either but apparently, yeah,
I just feel like it's bad news.
Yeah.
I'm scared as someone who wants to write things that the robot
is better than me.
I know.
Yeah.
I wrote my bio recently from AI.
Really?
Yeah, but it thought that I was a Canadian basketballer
because there's not enough information about me yet.
Yet?
Yeah.
Watch this space.
So do you need to hear those options again?
I know what mine is.
All right.
What are you going for, Georgie?
I'm going purely based on fun and intelligence.
I'm going with the bubbler situation.
Great.
Yeah, I think that that's fun.
And also bubblers.
You don't hear
enough about them no and they're having a reconnaissance they really are after covid
what's the word recon mission
sorry i'm thinking of when they say i. I loved it. We were just hiding in the corner. I'm thinking of the, who's that guy who did that movie about the AIDS
and it was called the Matthew McConaissance.
Yeah, that was it.
Oh, yes.
It's really made renaissance the word hard because, you know,
there's the Brendan Fraisonissance or whatever it's called.
Fraisonce.
Fraisonce.
If you will.
Yeah. It rarelyase-ance. Phrase-ance. If you will. Yeah.
It rarely works.
No.
But mccon-a-sance does.
Mccon-a-sance does.
And to the point where I thought reconnaissance was the word,
there's just renaissance.
That's so good.
All right, locking in the bubbler for Jordan.
You said you've got yours, Raven?
Well, maybe the uninvited dinner guests. Okay. Maybe that might be a scammer. Well, you've got yours, Rowan? Well, maybe the uninvited dinner guest.
Okay.
Maybe that might be a scammer.
Well, you've been vague there.
Maybe.
Yeah, we'll lock it in.
We'll lock it in.
All right, lock it in.
What about you, Irvi?
And you can all go for the same or different.
It doesn't matter.
What about that one that's about a monkey or ape?
Yeah, that is a male ape what about it
the scambler you think is a male ape that prefers human women over their primate counterparts
met a few of those big word from the 1800s as uh as someone who has worked in zoos and zoo environments,
the amount of women who tell me how hot they find the silverback is really alarming.
They really don't think it's an issue as well.
I'm like, that's another animal.
And they're like, God, he's so strong.
I wouldn't mind that.
I'm like, he's telling you up the back.
It's so strange.
Probably like with your husband and children, you're like, he's telling you up the back. It's so strange. We'll be like with our husband and children, we'll be like,
how much is he?
And they're saying it to you like, don't you, as you agree, right?
Yeah, because I, you know, I would maybe in my talk,
beautiful bum, you know, something like that, but very playful.
But then people are like, yeah, can I get in that house?
It's alarming.
And just, no, not worried about what I think of them.
I feel like you should name names, Jordan.
Who are these people?
Sandra.
Sandra's one?
Cassandra.
Oh, okay.
And just any mother that has come to the zoo.
Wow.
Doesn't have to have a sit up the back for a while.
Anyone you see sitting down in front of the gorillas.
Fanning themselves.
Disgusting, disgusting people.
So, Eva, you're locking that one in?
Yeah, I'll lock it in.
Why not?
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
Firstly, we had the cobbler who scams people.
That was written by the house, in particular the Ethan and Ashley combo, some fantastic work from Jane.
That's a good author.
The Eggbeater in a Tumbler.
That was Irvie.
Yes.
Very specific 19th century word, that one.
But it makes sense.
Yeah.
The Scamming Artist Who Has a Speech Impediment.
That was Jordan.
Yeah.
Love the example. Did I pronounce blur right? Yeah impediment, that was Jordan. Yeah. Love the example.
Did I pronounce blur right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, great.
Then we had someone who likes to fake drink from a water bubbler,
which Jordan picked.
That was Raewyn.
Get out.
So a point to Raewyn there.
Yeah.
A male ape that prefers human women.
That was also written by B&J, a.k.a. The House.
They're freaky.
That's very creative.
Meaning Raewyn was correct.
It was an uninvited guest who appears only at mealtimes.
What?
An uninvited guest that appears only at mealtimes.
That's crazy.
A scambler.
Yeah.
That's like uni.
Scambler man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah
well yeah they they always
forget their wallet yeah
literally
all right so it's two
points to raywin
one point to the house
come on i told you raywin's
good this is unfair you
should have put us with the
monkey you're good at this. This is unfair. You should have put us with the monkey.
You're good at games and stuff, Raelynn.
Can you get that egg?
The hot monkey.
Can you just get him out here?
All right, we're up to question number two.
This one comes from Michael Nielsen from Signet in Tasmania.
And the question is, what is Lal Bahari from Uttar Pradesh
in India most famous for?
While you're writing your answers there,
here is some more information on Scambler.
I know.
Waiting for the options.
I know.
I think I know.
I think I have a clue.
There's more stuff about Scambler though you were saying
While you're writing I'll let the listeners
Know a bit about Scambler
L-A-L
So according to Ashley and Ethan
B&J, Scambler is a
Scottish term used in the 19th century
To refer to an unwelcome visitor
Who takes advantage of the hospitality
Of others, especially during meal times
Evidence of the term can be found in Alexander Hislop's 1862 work,
The Proverbs of Scotland.
A more modern example of the term appears in Joe Gillard's
Little Book of Lost Words in 2019, reading,
Brian's scambler friend was more interested in Brian's mum's cooking
than he was in Brian.
All right, we're up to question number two, which is,
what is Lalal bahari
from adipradash in india most famous for he was ravi shankar's first manager who advised against
his first tour of europe telling him there is no chance they will understand your music
a man who tried to make lal take over from LOL when people were leaving MySpace to Facebook saw an opportunity to make money but made no money.
Lal stands for laughing and laughing.
That's good.
No jokes.
He's famous for having to fight bureaucracy to prove he wasn't dead.
Oh.
Same.
He invented a giant piano where instead of the hammers hitting strings,
they hit volunteers from the audience, creating a song out of their screams.
Oh.
He was famous for building a supercomputer in record speed
or famous for growing the biggest husk of corn.
I love that word, husk.
Husk of corn.
Husky boy. Can you grow a husk of corn. I love that word, husk. Husk of corn. Husky boy.
Can you grow a husk of corn without the corn?
Why wouldn't you have just grown a big corn?
Exactly.
You can't grow a husk.
Do you mean the singular kernel?
No, like the corn.
The husk.
The big corn bit.
What's that called, a corn?
That's a husk, isn't it?
No, the husk is like the skin.
Oh, so you think it's all husk.
How did he grow just husk?
Unless maybe he just like figured out a way.
His family's very hungry.
What can we do with this husk?
It's like fire making food.
It's like fire for this one tiny corn trapped in all this husk.
What was the answer that was?
I'm going to bully them.
Well, I mean, you kind of already are.
You just don't know who you're bullying.
Do you need to hear any of those again or you've got an idea here?
I think I'm good.
What are you thinking irby um the first
one ravi shanker's manager yeah are you looking at him you're looking at him oh
you're looking oh sorry by the way my name's
and i told ravi shanker he sucked. I think it's the computer guy.
Computer guy.
Quick fingers.
What about you, Raewyn?
You were famously good at games, so we assume you'll get this one right.
So I obviously remember those two, and I remember the laughing one.
What was the other?
I feel like there was two.
There was the corn, supercomputercomputer, Giant Piano,
Fighting Bureaucracy, Pretty Wasn't Dead, Lal, and Ravi Shankar.
I like the piano.
Yeah, the piano one.
It's pretty fun.
Different screams.
He figured it out.
That's how they got the low notes for Vanessa Hudgens
for High School Musical.
Did they?
They hammered them.
She couldn't sing that low.
It's just a keyboard.
Yeah.
All right, well, here's who wrote the answers.
Famous for growing the biggest husk of corn, Jordan,
who were you bullying?
Raewyn.
Yes.
And you deserve it, farm bitch.
I knew it.
I honestly thought the husk was like the whole thing.
But how foolish.
How foolish.
I don't know.
Until the bullying began, I also thought that.
I would never admit that now in front of Jordan.
She's such a reconnaissance.
Queen. Corniceux. Cornonnaissance Queen Corniceur
I think I've said that to people
In meetings
Oh that's so great
I'm going to look it up
What does husk mean?
I've looked it up and you were right, Jordan.
Oh, really?
The husk refers to the leafy outer covering of an ear of maize or corn.
Ear of corn.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I even just said it and it didn't clock.
Oh, no.
And I'm running this show.
Where were we up to?
That's just one in.
That's one in.
What else did we have?
We had the LAL.
That was Jordan.
I thought that was fantastic work.
That made me LAL.
LALan and LALan.
There was a time, though, where we thought we were going to say goodbye to LOL.
I know.
Do you remember that?
And now it's come back stronger than ever.
It's had a reconnaissance.
I think
you might be able to, with the power
of this episode, change the meaning of that word.
I thought reconnaissance was a word when he said it.
I was like, yeah, whatever.
You're not teaching kids anymore,
are you?
English teacher.
I'm like, that'll do.
Then we had famous for
building a supercomputer in record speed,
which Jordan picked.
That was Irvi.
So Irvi's on the board there.
Wow.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I even said that.
It feels very believable.
Inventing the giant piano where the hammers hit volunteers from the audience.
That was, I wrote that.
I thought that was so silly that no one would ever pick it.
So thank you so much, Rae-Wan, for giving me a point there.
Ravi Shankar won, Irvi.
That was also the house.
That was Michael, the question writer.
So two points for the house this round, meaning the correct answer was he had
to fight bureaucracy to prove he wasn't dead over a 19-year period
before they changed it.
Wild story. I'll tell it briefly in a second.year period before they changed it. Wild story.
I'll tell it briefly in a second.
But that means.
That's so cool.
I wouldn't fight.
I know.
Yeah, just fly under the radar forever.
You never pay tax anymore.
Yeah, become a sovereign citizen.
Holy shit, you're right.
So that's one point to Irvi there and two points to the house.
So I'll give you question three and then I'll tell you a little bit more
about Lal Bahari.
Question three comes from Greg Carter from Narre Warren,
Narre Warren North more specifically.
Sorry about that, Greg.
And Greg's question, any of you AFL fans from the 1970s?
I'm an 80s girl.
The question is, what was the nickname of Australian
Hall of Fame footballer Bruce Dool?
What was the nickname of Australian Hall of Fame footballer Bruce Dool?
And while you're writing your answers there,
I'll let the audience know a bit more about Lal Bahari's plot.
According to Wikipedia, in order to apply for
a bank loan in 1975, Lal Bahari visited the revenue office to get proof of identity,
whereupon he learned that he was officially dead. His uncle had bribed an official to register him
as dead so that he would get the ownership of Bahari's ancestral land at Kalalabad,
which measured less than one acre.
Bihari discovered at least 100 other people in similar situations
being officially dead.
He formed the Atta Pradesh Association of Dead People.
He and many other members were in danger of being killed
by those who had appropriated their property.
The association has had over 20,000 members from all over India,
and by 2004 they had managed to declare four of their members alive. The association has had over 20,000 members from all over India. No.
And by 2004, they had managed to declare four of their members alive.
Wow.
So it's a lot of work for not a lot of result.
Four people out of 20,000.
Isn't that wild?
It took him 19 years.
In 1994, he managed to have his official death annulled after a long legal struggle.
God.
All right, the answers are in for question number three.
What was the nickname of Australian Hall of Fame footballer Bruce Dool?
Here are your six options.
Chakana Banana, The Big Drool, The Flying Doormat, Dual Citizen,
The Dancing Kettle, or Dual Intentions.
That's good.
He keeps making out with his cousin.
To distract the opposition.
I just saw an ad for the Cruel Intentions musical on a tram yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
Just 90s songs and then they do a mega mix of 90s songs at the end.
Jordan used to do musical theatre.
Oh, shit.
And it's, yeah, and it is.
Yeah, Cruel Intentions of the Musicale.
Dual Intentions of the Musicale is what I want to say.
Even better, Drool Intentions.
Intent to drool.
I think I'd be really happy with any of these nicknames.
What kind of footballer was he?
AFL, Aussie Rules.
VFL back then.
It was a halfback flanker.
But he's a Hall of Fame, like a legend.
He's a legend.
Yeah, I think he's one of my mum's favourites.
Well, you got the right girls.
Well, I mean, it would be way less fun ifites. Wow. You've got the right girls. Yeah.
Well, I mean, it would be way less fun if you were all like,
oh, yeah, we know.
Oh, you're talking about the Chicana Banana?
Yeah, yeah, we know him.
The Chicana Banana.
The Big Kettle?
Oh, yeah.
Is that one?
The Dancing Kettle.
Dancing Kettle.
Oh, I thought it was.
The Big Drool was one of them.
The Big Drool.
So you had Chicana Banana, The Big Drool, The Flying Doormat,
Dual Citizen, The Dancing Kettle or Dual Intentions.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to go with Jakana Banana.
Okay, true.
That's funny.
I want to do The Big Kettle because I'm imagining that he, like,
reaches a boiling point.
Yeah.
Punches on.
Yeah.
But then I'm like, would Matt's mum like a punchy AFL player?
Probably.
Assuming that that's where the dancing kettle came from.
No, I'm going to stick with dancing kettle.
You touch him, he's too hot.
All right.
Locking that in.
I like dual citizen.
Dual citizen.
All right.
Lock that in for Rae.
Okay, well let's go through who wrote the answers.
Dual Intentions.
That was Irvi.
Yes.
Thank God.
Is his last name Drool or Dool?
Dool.
Oh, Dool.
Yeah.
You did get it.
I was like, damn it, I gave it away.
Yeah, I thought that was a good one.
That was very good.
Are you going to go see the musical?
No.
Do you want to know if someone comes with me?
It closed months ago.
Oh, the trams are still.
The trams will keep running for years. I got my finger right on the pulse.
The big drool was Raewyn.
Now, did you know that his name was Dool?
Yeah.
Yes.
So I thought.
You confused Irvie and me and then Irvi
confused me. Well just because it
rhymes as duel and
draw. And maybe he
is a bit fluid. Maybe he dribbles a lot.
Oh yeah. In AFL.
Jakana Banana, that
was the house. Yeah I guessed that.
I should have put that down actually. I looked at it, it was from Jakana Banana, that was the house. Yeah, I guessed that. You should have, I should have put that down actually.
I looked at, it was from Jakana, so I mean it was really wrote itself from there.
Uh, The Dancing Kettle, that was Greg, aka The House, which I just thought was so freaking
good.
I'm like, that's, that's better than the real one.
The real one was The Flying Doormat.
I was going to say that.
Flying doormat.
That means this round Jordan gets her first point
and the house gets two points.
Oh, very special.
So the house is starting to pull away here.
So I don't know.
Others may need to lift the game, all right?
Quick score check. on one point we
got irvy and jordan on two points it's raywin but out in front on five points it's the house
i'll kill you house that's one way to do it house can't win if it's dead
uh do you say burn it down yeah geez that was great timing because this next question comes from Jay from Chicago
and the question is what was the cause of the 1871 Great Chicago Fire
according to local legend?
So it's been debunked but there's a local legend that people still believe.
In what year, sorry?
1871.
I think I know the answer.
I'm excited.
Whoa. Let's go, let's go. Hervey said know the answer. I'm excited. Whoa.
Let's go, let's go.
Hervey said something like that before and then got it wrong, so you can.
You never know.
You never know.
While they're writing their answers,
here's a little bit more information about Bruce Dool.
According to Greg, Bruce Dool was nicknamed the Flying Doormat
due to the matted appearance
of the constantly disarranged long portions of his extreme comb-over hairstyle.
According to Wikipedia, Dool's trademark was his greying beard and the navy blue and white
headband, which kept his thinning long hair in place.
Never reported by the umpire's foul play, he was noted for his determination to play
the ball rather than the man, which was a rare trait in an era of occasionally brutal clashes brent croswell wrote duels game has a moral purity
about it and that is why opponents have always found it extremely difficult to be unfair to him
it would have shamed them as well as being a hall of famer he also won four premierships
and norm smith medal and was a member of carlton and the afl's teams of the 20th century so she's an all-time great the norman smith medal what a
great name for a medal yeah the norm the norm the norm and that's the best player mvp at the
grand final that's right yeah yeah see not just a pair of tits. So people can stop saying that.
Yeah, actually.
People will still say it.
I watched the Pamela Anderson doco on a plane, by the way,
between two men and I didn't realise that, like,
for a full 20 minutes
they just kept cutting to the boobs.
Fully.
Like, I knew that they would cut to her, like, playboy days,
but it was, like, full frontal nudity,
and I was just, like, trapped between these two guys.
And you can't stop watching.
And I can't stop watching it.
At a certain point I was like, oh, God, and skipped.
But it was full on.
But, yeah, she talks about skipped. But it was full on.
But, yeah, she talks about how her boobs have the career and she's just tagging along.
She's funny.
She is.
Poor Pamela.
Poor Pamela.
Hey, Irv, you don't have to change your answer if you don't want to,
but it was in 1871.
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
So, no, you don't have to.
I mean, it's funny in a way, but, yeah, feel free if you want to change it.
I'll have a quick think about what that means.
One sec.
Just to replace iPhone with pigeon.
When we used to scroll through the pigeons.
The pigeons give us bad mental health.
Always swiping right.
When will the right pigeon come along?
Come on.
Have you ever seen pictures of pigeon nests?
Because it's something to do with how they've lived in cities for so long
they've forgotten how to make them or something.
Oh, really?
We domesticated them so we could use them to send emails
and then we stopped needing them and now they're just like house pets.
They know the bits they need but they don't know what to do with them.
So it's just like three sticks on the ground.
Yeah.
They need, but they don't know what to do with them.
So it's just like three sticks on the ground.
Yeah, and then they're eggs.
And that's why they don't like run from us when we go to pick them up.
You could pick up a pigeon so easily because they're just like, oh, dad,
do you like my sticks?
I'm pregnant again.
Oh, pigeons.
So useless.
But I feel bad for them.
All right, so the answers are in.
Here is question number four.
What was the cause of the 1875 Great Chicago Fire,
according to local legend?
The fire started when the magnifying glass company decided to also manufacture paper in the same warehouse.
Oh, my God, happy luck.
The fire started after drunk bar patrons were enjoying cigars
underneath imported gum trees.
A big tap dancing event in a hall in Putter, Chicago.
The taps created friction and started flames on the floorboards.
Then it all just took off.
All the tap dancers died.
Good.
That jokes.
Whoa. Whoa. Oh, tap dancers died. Good. That jokes. Whoa.
Whoa.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry.
I hate the tap dancers.
I'm really angry.
I think it's like the heat.
It's just making me really angry.
I just didn't want to kill tap dancers.
Yeah.
A cow being milked by Mrs. Catherine O'Leary kicked over a kerosene lantern,
igniting a bonfire that spread, or a family was trying to get rid of their books in a bonfire
that went out of control.
Not Harry Potter.
No.
You won't know which one but I'll also, just for fun,
I'll also include Herbie's other option.
A musician left an amp on for the whole night and the PowerPoint got too hot
and exploded, starting a massive fire.
Oh, my God.
That musician must have been Marty McFly travelling back
with his rock and roll kit.
Or a small meteor struck the barn, setting wooden pieces of flame
and scattering them, quickly spreading the fire
and also signalling the origin of local cryptid,
the flaming alien dog man.
Cryptid?
What's cryptid?
They're like Bigfoots and stuff.
You know, Bigfoots and Yowies.
There was one local to Chicago.
Yeah, which is the flaming alien dog man.
Is that just a dog on fire?
That's a bit of an old-timey name, I think, because of the 1800s.
Flaming alien Dog Man.
Yeah, it's got a real zing to it.
Yeah, these days they probably, yeah, zhuzh that up a bit,
probably portmanteau it into like Fladog Man or something.
Flamer Demand or something.
I had more time back then.
Yeah, yeah.
The big flamer.
Dool.
Bruce Dool is such a good name as it is.
Yeah.
But, yeah, the dancing kettle.
Fucking hell.
That nickname's up for grabs and people want to start calling me that.
The dancing kettle over there.
I'll respond to it.
He loves to dance.
We've all got a cup of tea.
It's impossible.
So you've got the magnifying glass one, the cigars, the tap dancers,
the cow, the books, the guitar amp or the meteor with Flamo the dog man.
With Flamo.
I mean, I'm a sucker for a cow.
Let's face it.
I hope not, literally.
Cut out the middleman.
Fresh is best.
God.
Yeah.
I mean, I would.
Your voice broke there.
Is it hot in here?
When you're blushing.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is when I'm like those ladies that see the gorilla,
but it's me looking at a paddock full of cows.
Looking at those udders.
Oi, oi, oi.
I'm going to sit down.
So lock that one in.
Yeah, do believe that a cow could easily knock over a lantern.
Starting a fire in your heart.
Starting a fire.
In your loins.
What do you think of it, Herbie?
Same thing.
Same?
The loins.
Locking the loins.
Locking the loins.
I'm going to go the magnifying glass.
Magnifying.
Yeah, because I think that it's so wacko that it could happen.
Yeah.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
The Small Meteor, that was written by The House, Jay in particular.
He wrote a much more believable one, but I feel awkward winning,
so I added on that stupid thing at the end.
Then we had Family Trying to Get Rid of Their Books in a Bonfire
that went out of control.
That was Irvi.
Yeah.
Writing Under Pressure. I was Irvy. Yeah. Riding under pressure.
I know.
Best stuff.
The tap dancing event, that was Jordan.
Now, was it Putter is a place in Chicago?
No.
In Putter, Chicago?
In outer Chicago.
Oh, okay.
But I think we've established I don't know much about words.
Putter, Chicago? I should have been able to figure that out. established. I don't know much about words. I don't know. Potter?
I should have been able to figure that out.
I'm like, Potter, that must be a famous area
of Chicago. You're simply doing
exactly, like you're reading exactly what I wrote.
Which is incorrect.
The
cigars underneath the trees, that
was Jay, aka The House.
The magnifying glass company,
that was Raewynwin so point there to ray
meaning the correct answer was a cow being milked by mrs katherine o'leary
kicked over kerosene is raywin on like a billion points uh raywin gets two there
irvi gets one am i still on one yes jordan's still on one? Yes, Jordan's still on one. The only S number.
Yeah.
Can I have one of yours, house?
Oh, that's never been asked before.
Can you put a case to me at why that would make sense?
My dad.
Your dad?
Uh-huh. With the cow.
Yeah, yeah.
Your dad with the cow.
It's a vampire cow, can't die.
Okay.
And clumsy.
What happened to Catherine?
Beer gutters.
Did she get, like, hanged?
They tried her, but she was cleared at the time.
For witchery?
She was cleared.
She was cleared of starting the fire with the cow.
They hung the cow, unfortunately.
She got her last rights.
Honestly, I can't, you know, I'm going to have to say, Jordan, yes,
that was enough to get one point.
What?
Yes.
That was enough.
You should see what Raelynn's willing to do.
It's very weird to invite people around to beat them in a game, you know.
I think it's just bad form.
So anything you can do to help me not win.
All right, fine.
Okay.
Let's go rogue.
So that means after four rounds, I believe,
the scores are Irvi and Jordan on two points.
I'm the same.
I swear I have, like, more points.
No, you don't.
And Rowan and the house are on four points.
Yes.
But it's still absolutely anyone's game with three rounds to go.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well.
You can get two points per round,
and the final round is worth triple points.
Whoa.
Okay.
That's just changed everything.
Yeah.
Question five comes from Alison from Toronto in Canada.
Whoa.
I'm going to go there maybe.
Oh, sick.
In two weeks.
In two weeks?
No, for two weeks because Tom's friend's getting married.
Oh, my God.
That would be awesome.
It's a beautiful place.
I've never been there.
being married oh my god that'd be awesome it's a beautiful place i've never been uh allison's question is which of these is a real type of fish so basically you're just
going to make up the name of the species of fish okay while you're writing your answers here's
more information about the fire according to thought co popular legend has long held that
a cow being milked by mrs catherine o'Leary kicked over a kerosene lantern, which ignited the barn fire, which spread into the Great Chicago Fire.
The famous story appeared soon after the huge fire consumed much of Chicago and has spread ever since.
But it seems like the cow was not really the culprit.
the real problem was a combination of perilous conditions,
a long drought over a very hot summer,
loosely enforced fire codes and a sprawling city built mostly out of wood.
But Miss O'Leary and her cow took most of the blame. And it seems like in part this is because there were popular songs written
about it and even a major Hollywood movie produced in 1937 called
In Old Chicago.
Really?
The MGM film, which was produced by daryl
f zanuck provided a completely fictitious account of the o'leary family and portrayed the story of
her cow kicking over the lantern as the truth and while in old chicago may have been completely
wrong on the facts the movie's popularity and the fact that it was nominated for the academy award
for best picture helped perpetuate the legend of Mrs. O'Leary's cow.
My God.
We need to do this shit.
That's amazing.
See how we get our career off the ground.
Cow rights.
Cow rights.
Actually, cow rights.
Wow.
You'd think there's not enough story for, like.
Do you explore, like, all the lead up to the kicking of the bucket?
I think you meet the cow as a calf.
Yeah.
There's years.
It's running around.
There's some like innocuous kind of it kicks over a few little things
in its early days.
It kicks over something and it saves someone's life.
Like it kicks a ladder into a well or something like that.
Wow.
Saves a life.
Saves Jimmy. Yeah, saves Jimmy. Wow. Maybe it's trying to speak somehow. life like it kicks a ladder into a well or something like that saves jimmy yeah saves jimmy
maybe it's trying to speak somehow like an animal farm oh yeah maybe
we should burn this place down
cows are funny did you guys
know the animal farm
yeah
oh I just read it
I am
I didn't study it
like a loser
you read it
and you bought it
my dad said
that I should read it
before I become a teenager
why
and I thought
it was gonna be
about like puberty
but it was about communism
it's like communism
you were showing
some undesirable traits okay i
guess the pigs are the boys at school literally wow wait but you didn't have to i remember
studying i taught it yeah oh okay wow very fucking hell it's dick swinging
it's just all though so you know
who's your favourite character
I like the pigs
but they're evil
yeah
but they know what they're doing
they know what they're doing
it's like
let them do it
yeah
alright just still waiting
for one answer
so while you're writing
your answers
let's go for a quick break
as women our life stages come with unique answer. So while you're writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke.
Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.
Okay, the answers are in.
So here is question five.
Which of these is a real type of fish? So we've got purple seducer, glossy oyster perch,
thernside glacier, flippity dipper,
Catherine the witch bitch fish,
known for being flaming red
and a real party pooper.
Or Bony Eared Ass Fish.
Whoa.
Purple Seducer, Glossy Oyster Perch, Thornside Glacier, Flippity Dipper,
Catherine the Witch Bitch Fish, known for being flaming red
and a real party pooper, or the Bony Eared Ass Fish.
Wow.
And one of them is real.
One of them is real.
And it's so funny because, Rae, when you've been called all those times.
Pass.
All of a sudden things are becoming clearer.
You're like, oh, fish reference.
You want to have a have a stab here um maybe the ass one the the bony bony-eared ass fish yeah
um i want to go the bony-eared arse fish, but it wouldn't.
I don't know.
Because it doesn't make sense.
You don't think of fish having, obviously they have both,
but you don't think of them as having ears or bones.
Yeah.
No?
Okay, I'm going to go with the pearl one. Could you remind me of the oyster?
Glossy oyster perch. Why does that make me feel fucking disgusted? to go with i'm gonna go with the pearl one could you remind me of the oyster uh glossy oyster
perch oh it's why does that make me feel fucking disgusting something about it oyster oyster
perch like yuck i'll go for that one yuck i'll take it yeah it's as gross as all of the fish
names did you just didn't go the arse fish because Ray went for it?
No.
Do you have some background info?
I think that they wouldn't call it an arse fish.
I think that they'd call it anal fish.
Like I think it would be worse.
That's why I purchased.
It's like an anal fish.
Yeah, anal fish.
Anal fish.
Oh, I've got to be alone.
Corn chips, I'll kill you um there are there are weird named fish like there's the there's a fish called old wife because fish communicate by grinding their bones together
and they make do they yeah so when you're like in a reef whenever you're in a reef next um
have a little listen they'll be be like. They grind their bones?
Yeah, and they click them and stuff like that.
It's like in a chat.
I love fish.
And they pulled these fish out of the water, these fishermen, I assume men.
Yeah.
And their bones were still grinding and it was like.
And so they're to this day called old wives.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'm using that for a future episode.
wives oh my god well i'm using that for a future episode but like i feel like there's so many fish we run out of things that we call them like little
oyster clit perch or whatever you know like it's so disgusting can i have all the options again
purple seducer glossy oyster perch thornside, flippity dipper, Catherine the witch bitch fish, or bony-eared arse fish?
I'll go for the purple seducer because probably there's been some perv
in the interview.
It's like, no, actually it's got a magical power.
It's not me.
This is the fish's fault.
It was the fish.
It was the fish. I was seduced, okay.
She didn't see what the fish was wearing.
Nothing purple.
Just floating about.
Like a glossy oyster out there.
Just going.
Well, let's go through and write the answers.
Catherine the witch bitch fish.
That was Jordan.
Wow.
A bit of a callback.
The Flippity Dipper.
That was the house.
Oh, very good.
The Glossy Oyster Perch was also the house.
In particular, Alison.
The Purple Seducer, which Irving went for.
That was Raewyn.
Wow.
Raewyn the Purple.
I feel like all vibrators are purple.
Yes.
That was my inspiration.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The thorn-side glacier was Irvi,
meaning the correct answer was the bony-eared arsefish.
No.
She doesn't deserve more points.
So that's two points for Raewyn.
Wow. And who got the other one? two points for Raewyn. Wow.
And who got the other one?
One point for the house.
Wow.
I guess all animals are equal except for Raewyn's.
You are more equal than others.
Can I get a point if I blackmail you?
Blackmail?
What do you got on me?
If your dad was the bony idiot.
She's like, do you want to start?
If I don't get a point, I'm going to spill all my drinks on that.
More of a threatening one than a sympathy one.
No, I'm joking.
I'm just feeling aggroful.
Wow.
Raewyn showed us a picture and it's quite stunning. What does that look like?
Describe it.
It almost looks like a, well, the first one that pops up is like a tadpole,
but like you can.
They're full on looking.
Yeah, but it's transparent.
The head.
I mean, that's what it looks like.
Oh, my God.
I wish.
We might ask.
Transparent head.
Okay, that looks like something evil out of Finding Nemo or something.
Yeah.
I'll give you a pity point there, Irvi.
So the scores are now.
Yes.
We're ruining this podcast for you.
Actually.
It's a lot easier to give you two points because, I mean,
it doesn't affect the results.
That's anyone's game.
Scores currently Jordan on two points, Irvi on three points,
the house on five points, but out in front it's Raewyn on six points.
What?
We knew it.
You guys cannot catch up.
Raewyn's phone away.
Did you hear how she was like, how do you spell lal?
Oh, that's right.
Very interesting.
How do you spell lal?
And she still got it wrong.
And Raewyn has to show us her search history.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bring it out.
Yeah.
I don't think her search history will stop you guessing her answer, though,
Irvi, which is what you just gave her at that point.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
So we've got two questions left.
Still anyone's game.
Remember, triple points in the final question.
Yes.
This one comes from Jennifer Welliver from Marshall in Illinois.
Okay, fake lady.
Jennifer Welliver.
I love her name.
Jennifer asks, what happened on April the 29th, 1970 in New South Wales?
Something newsworthy happened on April 29th, 1970.
I'm already writing your answers.
Here's a little bit more information about bony-eared arsefish
from Fishers of Australia, the website.
A brownish to blackish cusk eel with a large head and tapering flabby body,
small eyes, a prominent forward-projecting divided spine on the snout,
a very long slender spine on the opaculum extending well beyond head,
and well-developed spines on the lower angle of pre-opaculum.
So I think that probably clears that up.
of pre-odd-paculum.
So I think that probably clears that up.
But the other name it's known by is, I think,
even wilder than bony-eared arsefish.
It's the cavernous arsefish.
Wow.
Isn't that a wild cavernous arsefish?
That's a great drag name.
It is.
Do you think Manny would get the reference?
There's a few references. I could be referencing anything. Yeah.
Kevin is arse fish.
The answers are in. Here's question six. What happened
on April 29th, 1970 in New South
Wales? Stuart Neill broke the world
record for releasing the longest fart.
The Big Mac made its Australian debut.
Yum. Was the first time the computer was sold in australia
a farmer thought he had struck oil but it turned out he had just pierced a pipe running from the
neighboring daryl lee chocolate factory a log was placed on a train track in an attempt to
assassinate queen elizabeth i II or a woman weed out a fish?
That wouldn't have been the first time.
Does it say it's the first time a woman weed out a fish or just a woman weed out a fish?
Just a woman weed out a fish.
Because it might not be the first time.
It might just have been another time.
The first time in New South Wales, maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
Victoria's been doing a phrase.
She went across the border, yeah.
I feel like that would still make the papers today, surely.
If you weighed out a fish.
Certain papers, yeah.
It's not possible.
If someone did it and it was recorded, I reckon.
It's fake news.
Irby.
I don't know, maybe it could like.
I didn't realise you were a truther.
I know.
If you had like a tropical fish, they could live for 36 degrees, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess there's the acid.
But how did it get into your urethra or whatever it's called?
But maybe you swallowed it in like a little bag.
And it just went through your like tiny little hole.
Yeah, when it was like a tiny little baby egg.
But you'd really have to prep for that as well though.
You'd have to be like, I want to wee out a fish.
Oh, God, imagine it coming out the urethra.
That's what I mean.
A little tingle.
What if you drank a fancy drink that had fish eggs in it?
Oh, yum.
And then it somehow.
You'd incubate it in your.
Yeah, maybe.
The only thing you'd pee out is sea monkeys or something.
Yeah, that's true.
Very interesting.
Krill.
Krill, yum. Pissing out krill. Yeah, that's true. Generous. Krill. Krill, yum.
Pissing out krill.
Yeah.
I'm getting hungry.
It's like seafood.
I think it's the log one.
I think someone tried to kill Queen Elizabeth.
With a log?
Yes.
Locking it in.
Yeah.
I'm good on it.
Whoa.
Would have knocked a good 50-odd years off her reign.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get Charles in while he was still good.
Yeah, totally.
Not now.
I can't even write his name.
Early 70s.
That was peak Charles.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to go with Big Mac.
Big Mac?
Is that because you're hungry?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All those food things are like yum.
Yeah.
Like fishing fish.
Fishing fish.
Yum, yum, yum.
Yummy krill.
Could I have the middle ones again?
First computer sold, the guy thought he'd struck oil.
They're the middle two, I guess.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not sure about those ones.
I reckon it was maybe just pissing out a fish.
Pissing out a fish.
Yeah.
Piss and wait a fish. Yeah. Piss and weight and vision.
Yeah.
Okay, Brian.
Well, let's go through who wrote the answers.
Stuart Neill breaking the world record for releasing the longest fart.
That was Irvi.
Yes.
And I get it.
Longest would be time, not distance, right? You can't really measure the distance of a fart, can you?
No, it was really immature, but that's all right.
Until now.
Yeah.
Longest fart.
The first time a computer was sold in Australia,
that was written by Raewyn.
That seemed believable.
Yeah, that was a good one, Raewyn.
Thank you.
Didn't get you, though.
No.
We're not falling for that.
Yeah.
You're on to me.
On to my tricks.
The farmer thought he'd struck oil.
That was the house.
So I'm like, yeah.
Is the house kind of German?
The house?
The house.
The house, yeah.
Hofbrauhaus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Drink out of big steins and that sort of stuff.
Thinking about Germany.
Cool house.
Yeah, skip a bit of it.
Oh, yeah.
What else is there about Germany?
I don't know.
And then, yeah, they make cars.
Yeah.
Da-da-da-da-da.
Yada, yada, yada.
Have roads you can go real fast on.
So, yeah.
A woman weed out a fish.
Raewyn picked that.
That was Jordan.
Oh, that's right. That weed out the fish. Yeah. So, that is fish. Raewyn picked that. That was Jordan. Oh, that's right.
That weed out the fish.
Yeah.
So that is correct, Raewyn.
Well done, Jordan.
Jordan's autobiography.
Yeah.
That should be your next show title.
I wish.
Oh, yeah, that would be fun.
Yeah.
The Big Mac making its Australian debut.
That was written by Jennifer Welliver.
Okay, The House.
That's one point for The House.
What?
Okay.
And Jordan, you got the right one.
It was a log being placed on a train track.
Yes.
To assassinate the queen.
I know my Liz.
I genuinely know my Liz.
A log.
And did it succeed?
Did they crack the list no it's so funny that they apparently the train was going too slow it didn't do any damage at all um i was only found out recently when about four years ago when a
policeman who was onto it he was like so apparently there was a train that went down the route
beforehand to check an hour before.
And as they went through, there was nothing there.
And then a log was put.
So either very coincidentally a log just rolled on in that.
But that's why they think it was an assassination attempt.
But no one was ever caught for it.
Smart.
Maybe I'll put a log in my property
manager's office you really shouldn't say that on mic that was one thing they didn't do in 1970
put a log like right on the door so you know when you like trip over some things yeah with a note
that says i'll kill you allegedly this will be on your head soon.
But, Irvi, you were also pretty close because it was only the following year that the Big Mac and McDonald's debuted.
Did I get a point?
Sure.
Pretty much.
Because they also had that campaign where you could get a free Big Mac
if you said all the ingredients in like under a minute.
Oh, yeah, that's right. It feels like it's a shame we could get a free Big Mac if you said all the ingredients in like under a minute. Oh, yeah, that's right.
It feels like it's a long time.
Two beef patties and a pickle and two sesame seed buns.
My parents do it on the drop of a hat.
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles,
and a sesame seed bun.
Yes.
Point to the house.
That's still in there from that campaign.
That's good advertising.
Freaking hell. I only have victory
Victory
Victory
131399
Would you prank the number
Yeah should we call
Oh my god let's prank it up
It should be like we need 10,000 points.
Tomorrow it's going to be like, you jerks.
We need 10,000 points.
Horrible killing of 10,000.
Everyone is giggling in the background.
That'd be such a funny prank.
Okay.
It's for the queen.
Well, we're up to the final question.
So it's triple points up for grabs here.
Oh, my God.
Still truly anyone's game.
And we always finish with like a movie synopsis question.
So this will be your longest answer.
You're fucked, Evie.
Oh, God. It was like a movie synopsis question. So this will be your longest answer. You're fucked, Evie. Let's go.
It might be really not.
It's about to pass out.
Let's go.
Let's go.
So this question comes from Meat.
Well, the cow's back.
And in brackets they write like the protein to help with pronunciation.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
From Kansas.
Kansas?
Meat from Kansas.
What is the synopsis of the 1997 film Blood Moon?
Oh, God.
I'll tell you.
Big end, shall we?
So I kind of already told the story of uh the log but um this is a from an article for style
magazine written by mark wasserman and i just love how he starts he says there's little doubt
that queen elizabeth is one of the most loved figures in the uk if not the world this guy has
not been to northern ireland but being such a well-traveled familiar and public figure has its downsides too she's
been in danger on more than one occasion from people with sinister motives so maybe i'll tell
you about one of the other times and this happened in 1981 tripping the color is an annual ceremonial
event held in london and on june the 13th 1981 crowds gathered along the mall to watch the queen
attending the ceremony on horseback in the crowd was was a 17-year-old named Marcus Sargent.
As the Queen rode by, he fired six blanks from a starting pistol.
According to reports, the Queen's horse, Burmese, was startled,
but the Sovereign managed to calm down and ride on.
Sargent was arrested and brought to trial.
He admitted that he wanted to be famous
and had been inspired by the assassination
of John Lennon the year before.
He was sentenced to five years in prison
under the Treason Act,
given that he had willfully discharged
at or near Her Majesty the Queen
a gun with the intent to alarm
or distress Her Majesty.
So even though it was blanks,
just the fact that he made the horse
roll up, got him five years in the big house.
All right, so the answers are in for the final question.
Triple points up for grabs, meaning it's still anyone's game.
Yes.
And the question is, what is the synopsis of the 1997 film Blood Moon?
A team of NASA scientists are sent on a mission to the moon
when a strange red liquid is seen slowly spreading across its surface.
When they arrive, they realise the liquid is delicious
and a game changer for America's confectionery industry.
Yum, yum.
Blood Moon is the story of a satanic coven that all got in sync.
They all got their period together for the whole month.
Oh, my God.
What a disaster.
They killed children, dogs, cats, classic PMS symptoms.
Join the detective as he finds these leaking and whining individuals
and takes them to trial.
The 70s are crazy.
I love it.
The film takes you on many adventures, taking you all over the place
and ends with a shootout at the Glenrowan Hotel.
In Victoria.
Ned Kelly.
Yeah.
Hannah would love to see that that actually sounds awesome that's
fucking cool uh detective chuck baker a wisecracking cop who has a penchant for magic
pension no no i like that yeah i don't yeah because pension doesn't sound right so you
gotta say it the stupid way otherwise yeah. I don't feel good about it.
It's like when you say, well, I don't feel good about saying bruschetta,
but if I say bruschetta, it's fucked.
Oh, God.
The way people look at you.
A parmesan.
Parmesan.
Yeah.
So he has a penchant for magic,
and he lures Ken O'Hara, an expert on serial killers,
out of retirement to help find a masked
murderer with metal fingers who is killing star athletes oh i would say that yeah blood moon star
steven seagal is an ex-military man that suddenly starts getting his period he is 43 when he first
notices his body start to change doctors put put it down to stress and PTSD,
but he knows it's what has always meant to be
and is learning to embrace his new life.
Oh, good on him.
That's good.
I can't say the same for myself.
I know.
Every time it happens, I'm like, not again.
Come on.
Flashbacks to war.
Not to my PTSD thing.
Matthew Wolfe, a renowned doctor,
accidentally turns himself into a bald werewolf when researching a cure
for his wife's deadly disease.
Despite his new appearance, he continues to work at the hospital.
But can the hairless Dr. Wolfe save his wife before the blood moon arrives?
I'm watching Irving and I'd be like, wow, that was like a good movie.
Okay, Irving.
This thing is too distracting.
If anyone listening, there's like a little coloured thing on the table
that I love.
You really painted a picture for the listeners at home?
It's coloured thing.
It's a little colour.
It's like an object I love.
Just Google that.
The coloured thing on the table that I love.
Sort of like a, yeah, like a liquid egg timer thing.
Take a photo.
It's like an egg timer.
Yeah, we'll put it in the comments.
A bit lava lampy.
It's a little lava lampy.
It's like a lava lamp egg timer.
It's like a mini lava lamp.
And if you shake it up, it's like the bubbles go everywhere,
so it's pretty fun.
Your final option is a thriller about a woman who has a bloody eye
and looks up at the moon and sees it red.
Her husband leaves and she loses her job all within one month
and she has a period 24-7.
She has many obstacles that come to terms with there being red all around her.
Or does she?
Or does she?
I don't know.
That's very good stuff.
That's very good stuff.
She has many obstacles but comes to terms with there being red all around her.
Or does she?
That is so funny.
I'm intrigued.
A lot of these characters in these films, they just come out of terms.
Deal with it.
She sees everything red. She always has a period and she comes to terms with it. She sees everything red.
She always has a period and she comes to terms with it.
Or does she?
There's two questions.
Is it a thriller?
It's a life of disgust. She's never coming to terms.
So does it say she always looks at the moon?
No, she has a bloody eye.
It is a thriller about a woman who has a bloody eye
and looks up at the moon and sees it red.
Oh, one time.
Yeah, I guess because it's through the blood in her eye.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that what you're understanding?
Yeah.
I'm so glad that this is an opposite writer for this film that exists.
Her husband leaves.
Oh, yeah.
And she loses her job.
So it's a rollercoaster.
So not a comedy.
You can't stay with her.
She's got a period all the time.
That's all within one month.
Oh, well, that makes sense.
It's a cycle.
Yeah.
For the moon and for the blood.
And the eye.
It's true.
And the eye.'s true and the eye yeah sure okay so you
got the uh you got the delicious confectory moon you got the satanic coven you've got the uh wise
cracking cop who likes magic and the the metal fingered murderer uh you got steven seagal getting his period you got the hairless werewolf or you've got the the
one that uh is all red it's very red all right then and i reckon the you know the poster would
say seeing red seeing that could be like i literally wrote a poem called Seeing Red in Uni. Oh, my God.
Oh.
And like the trailer would have like an acoustic or like an eerie cover
of like I'm blue.
And like.
Or does she?
As the clouds part.
The moon.
Like when they do Home and Away ads.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think Home and Away came up with that, yeah.
I think I'm going to go for Blood Eye.
The last one?
Yeah.
Yeah, fantastic.
I think I know who did that.
And you're talking about a Hollywood genius.
Who has heat stroke.
That's the extra component.
They should definitely apply for funding.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Generate.
Come on, screeners.
And Raewyn?
Maybe the Coven one.
Those witches.
Those witches be bleeding.
They do be bleeding.
Women be shopping.
Okay.
What about you, Irvi?
What are you thinking?
I'm going to go with maybe I'll go with the coven.
Go on the coven?
Yeah, something like that.
Irvi's looking in The Coven as well.
All right, here's who wrote the answers.
So the team of NASA scientists who found lollies on the moon,
that was The House slash Meat.
Meat wrote the first half and then I added the confectionery.
Meat, you're so silly.
Oh, mate.
Steven Seagal getting his period.
That was Raewyn.
Good one.
Good.
Almost got with Steven Seagal getting his period. That was Raewyn. Good one. Almost got me Steven Seagal.
Then we had the one about Dr. Wolf.
Mate wrote this one as well, but I changed the name to Matthew Wolf.
It was like Matthew Wade or something.
I'm like, not fun enough.
Matthew Wolf.
His, again, was very believable.
So I really fucked you there, mate.
Sorry about that
Sorry mate
Then we had
Jordan you picked the thriller
About someone who sees red a lot
That was actually Irvie
That was actually Irvie
What?
That was actually Irvie
I can't believe it
I can't believe it
Thanks guys
The stunted sentences
So bad
And this and this
And this
Our husband left it Period The stunted sentences. So hard. The and this, and this, and this.
Our husband left it.
I get the period.
The one. And she had his copyright.
Isn't that what?
That's so good.
I loved it.
I haven't, I don't think I've broken on this show in months.
That really got me.
And her husband left her.
She's covered in red.
It just kept stacking up on her.
I'm like, oh, my God, what is she going through?
Child's logic.
Or will she?
Or does she?
How good is that?
That is so perfect.
I was like, shit, by the end I'm like just giving away the story.
I need to have a cliff because that's what my screenwriting research
has told me.
Have a like hook, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just give it all away.
That was definitely worthy of the triple points there.
I reckon I was ready to go.
That's a cover letter ready to go.
There we go.
Then the one that Raewyn and Irvie picked about the satanic coven,
that was written by Jordan.
That's me.
Meaning the correct answer was Detective Chuck Baker,
a wisecracking cop who has a penchant for magic,
which is direct from its description.
A penchant for magic.
Get out.
Yeah.
I mean, do you have a second to watch the, I can show you the trailer.
Oh, you have to.
Please.
I hope I can see the penchant.
Who plays penchant?
Yeah.
I mean, they're all big names, of course.
It's a real repenchant.
No sense.
I'm so sorry.
Chuck Jeffries plays Detective Chuck Baker.
You know it's a big movie when the actors have the same name
as their characters.
Yes.
It'll just be easier for me to remember if you can just give me
the same name.
Ah.
Oh, my God. Wow. oh my god wow not a real beggar no weapons no prints no witnesses a serial killer is on the loose
killer has a knowledge of anatomy every strike is a vital area of nerve-saving.
He's still a thing.
He's still a thing.
Pure evil.
Wow.
Welcome to hell!
What the hell is going on?
Let's see, we got four dead bodies out there.
He's using today's technology to trap his next victim.
What a lovely family. To stop it,
you have to hit fast,
hit hard, and only
one man can do the job
and do it right.
So if you're going to be working together as partners
on this case, looks like you win.
The end game has
begun!
Very good!
The killings are getting closer together.
He's getting better.
Last location, 843 Adams Street, number 21.
This serial killer's got a bit of spunk. Oh, tit!
Yeah!
We saw nipples.
We saw an animal.
Still giving away the whole film.
Blood Moon.
Starring action powerhouse Gary Daniels.
It's just me and him now.
Chuck Jeffries.
Oh, Australian. And Frank Corshion.
Blood Moon.
You get one shot before he kills you.
It's so cool.
I'm kind of being... Wait, so you get one shot?
Does everyone, you get a chance?
And that was like, that's used a lot in the marketing and stuff.
You get one shot before he kills you.
All these ladies?
He plays with you a little bit.
And also, like, why does he look like he's from, like, the 15th century?
He looks like a character from the Princess Bride.
Yeah, Phantom of the Opera.
Yeah.
His mask is, yeah, very phantom-y.
Yeah, and the fingers aren't very sharp.
It's just like a nimble, like, you know.
Yeah.
I feel like that'd be a liability.
Like, because if they grab, they just snap your fingers off.
Because it's still attached right to your human knuckles.
It seems like you didn't have much control.
One of the shots is just like stabbing the wall.
Yes.
But the first kill, because I read the whole, I didn't watch the film,
but I read the whole synopsis.
Yeah.
And the first guy he kills was a pretty fair fighter,
it was a kickboxer.
But then, and then the kickboxer guy, the boxer hits him with a chair or a table
and he seems to be winning.
But then the killer just sort of punches through the chair and into his heart.
Oh, my God.
Into your heart.
Wow.
Which is, you know, watching that movie,
that movie itself sort of punched its way into my heart.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. It was action packed. What a bad serial way into my heart. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
It was action-packed.
What a bad serial killer as well.
I saw his face.
Yeah.
Several times.
He took his mask off all the time.
And in broad daylight.
Yeah.
Come on.
Some great jumps though.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone involved were stunt doubles.
Like they were all action people.
Yes.
So it was like that stuff was like amazing.
That looked kind of cool.
It looked like Matrix-y.
Yeah.
IMDB has some great quotes from the film such as,
did you just notice, this is the killer,
did you notice there's blood on the moon tonight?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Which is the name of the film.
Oh, my God.
Was it a Leo moon?
One guy I was about to kill was called Dutch.
He goes, how's it going, crutch?
And Dutch goes, the name's Dutch.
And then the killer goes, it won't be after tonight.
I think it's a great night for a moon dance.
That's like the Neil Young song, Harvest Moon.
No, I think there is a song called Harvest Moon,
but isn't there like Van Morrison?
It's a wonderful night for a moon dance.
But it could be Harvest Moon, which is, you know,
about being heroin addict in Alabama or something.
I think it was referencing both, personally.
Yeah.
Neil Young, obviously.
That's so funny.
All right.
So I think it's time for our final score check.
Oh. So. All right. So I think it's time for our final score check. Oh.
So.
Come on.
Come on.
Surely.
In equal third place, we had Raewyn and The House.
Wait, in third place?
Yeah.
So.
Wait.
What?
Remember, it's triple points.
Triple points in the final round.
Oh, my God.
See you later.
What the?
Rae, when are you doing a show at the festival coming up?
Unbelievable.
I am.
I'm doing a show at the festival called Bush Week.
Lots of stories about growing up in the country,
if that's of interest to anyone.
I mean, you make it of interest, though.
It's pretty relatable stuff.
But it's pretty fun.
She knows a lot about animals.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's good shit.
I think you should write ass fish into the show if you can.
Oh, yes.
We could do an ass fish chunk there somewhere.
Yeah.
Got an extra five on the ass fish.
Fifteen at least.
Oh, boy.
In second place on seven points, we have Irvi.
Oh, my God.
Irvi, now you're also doing some shows at upcoming festivals.
Yes.
Yeah, actually, I am doing my, what's it called?
Oh, my God.
Irvi went to an all-girls school at the melbourne comedy
festival and sydney comedy festival and um it's about me growing up as well
so if you went to a two-header exactly if you went to a school you'll get it yeah
this is not for homeschool. Finally, something for us. That means out in front with six points in the final round,
getting her to the score of ten.
It's Jordan.
Yes.
What did I get?
What did I get right?
Well, two people guessed your movie.
Oh, yes, of course.
You dumb little hoo-ays.
You did it.
I cannot believe it.
Yeah.
We really gave this to you.
Yeah, yeah.
And thank you.
Thank you for that.
I needed that today.
Have you got any shows coming up, Jordan?
Well, I do, but I'm cancelling that now.
I'm going to live off this.
I'm touring.
Yeah.
I am doing a show.
It's called Saturn Return Lol and it's at.
Lol or lol?
Lol.
Lol.
Yeah.
I missed opportunity.
Could have made money from it.
Yeah.
Of course.
LOL, laughing out loud.
And hopefully you will too at my show.
Woo.
Sorry.
I don't know.
It was a cat.
Yeah.
I'm going to be there as well doing my show Ding at the Chinese Museum
in Melbourne and somewhere in Adelaide as well.
Nice.
You could look it up.
I mean, I could look it up too.
And I'm doing this show, Who Knew It with Matt Stewart,
at the European Beer Cafe on the 9th of April, Easter Sunday,
2 p.m. in the afternoon.
Also doing it at the Brisbane Comedy Fest.
Oh, fun.
What dates are you in Brisbane?
Where will you be in Brisbane?
I think I'll be at the Powerhouse.
Luckily there's not many venues up there for that festival,
but I think that's right.
I thought we weren't allowed to announce Brisbane yet.
Okay.
This is coming out in a few weeks. Okay. You've got some time. Oh, then I'm doing Brisbane too. I thought we weren't allowed to announce Brisbane yet. Okay. This is coming out in a few weeks.
Okay.
You've got some time.
Oh, then I'm doing Brisbane too.
Awesome.
Yeah.
And hopefully the powers that be up there aren't tuning in.
We could be in real strife.
The powerhouse looks like it's tuning in.
And you also do some podcasts together, you two.
Yes.
Irvi and I have a podcast called Sex and the Sex in the Sex.
Yeah.
And it's a Sex and City podcast and we watch the episodes
and then we talk about them.
We have guests on them and we will be finishing season five
by the time this comes out.
Mark my words.
Mark my words.
There will be new episodes.
It will be.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Well, thanks so much for joining us.
It's been a lot of fun.
Hopefully you'll come back sometime and defend your title, Jordan,
and maybe, Ray, when you can, you know,
try and wipe off some of this shame that you've gained today.
Yeah, it's so embarrassing.
You came in here a champion, Ray, weren't you?
I know, and I'll leave an arse fish.
Oh, God.
If you enjoyed the show, give us a five-star review.
Why not?
And maybe tell your friends if you think they might enjoy it.
Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart.
Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart.
Goodbye.
This is the biggest show, I think, yet for you, Matt. Look at us. This is a biggest show I think yet for you, Matt.
Look at us.
This is actually pretty amazing.
This is a hot room for lots of reasons.
Welcome to who?
I was going to say it's a career highlight.
Just sneak that in.
It's a career highlight.
Before the welcome.
What are you going to do with that?
Yeah, that was very threatening.
Hervey just threatened me.
There's a little ADHD prop on the table.
And Hervey picked it up and threatened me with it.
Does Hervey lose a point for that?
Right on the edge.
I just held it tightly.
Yeah, exactly.
You really scared.
There's a vein popping in your neck, Irvi.
This is nasty.
The only thing is Irvi needs a point before she can lose one.
Oh, wow.
So I mean, she would have lost a point, but I just looked
and there weren't any there to take, so.
Sorry, Irvi.
Do you guys feel a bit crazy?
Yeah.
I feel like, yeah, I don't know why I picked it up and looked,
so I actually.
It's the heat that made you do it.
Are you practicing for when you make a statement in court?
I think it was the heat.
It made me crazy.
Going like concave, like no butt cheeks.
Oh, yes.
True.
Emaciated butt.
Yeah, that's true.
Wow.
It's amazing where the conversations this podcast takes you to.
It's a great podcast.
I can't help but feel a slight sarcasm.
That's my voice.
I mean it.
I saw a foxy there.
It was really scrawny.
Yeah, they look fucked.
They're so scrawny.
And I feel like when you can see them, they're like, they're done.
Because they're good at hiding.
I saw one that was like just walking along Brunswick Street
and I was like, oh, bro.
You're done.
Yeah.
You're just finding a place to die.
Yeah.
Aren't we all?
That's life, man.
Welcome to the club.
Ultimately, we're just finding a place to die.