Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 28 - Cameron James and Kirsty Webeck
Episode Date: March 20, 2023Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Cameron James and Kirsty Webeck!Check out Matt's stand up specia...l FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the
melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that
stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com
welcome to who knew it with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart.
And our first guest this week is doing an encore performance of his hit show,
Electric Dreams, at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
It's Cameron James.
Oh my God.
It's amazing to be here via Zoom.
How technology has changed, isn't it?
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
It used to be just a tin can and a string, but now look at us.
It's like a lot of people say that COVID was bad for society, but it really brought Zoom
into our lives.
Totally.
Also, it was fake, I think, COVID.
I think that's just my opinion But We can get into it
Deeper later
I have a lot of thoughts
What do you
Scandemic
Is that the kind of
Term you might use
That's what it says
On my t-shirt
Yeah
Our second guest
Is performing
A brand new show
At the festival
And at many festivals
Actually called
A bit of fun
It's Kirstie Wiebeck
Welcome to the show
Thank you
Thanks for having me again So you're Doing it a bit different cam's coming back to do one big
night of his show and you're just you're probably doing about a hundred dates of your new show is
that about right yeah that's about right um cam's got the right idea i've made a terrible mistake
next year before i announce my tour i'm'm going to call Cam up and go,
what should I do?
Just do one night.
And then we all should just do one night and then just quit comedy.
Yeah, I think comedy served its purpose now.
Yeah, it's done.
I'm ready to move on.
Where are you doing the show, Kirsty?
Melbourne, obviously.
What have I got left i've got melbourne
canberra sydney brisbane perth at this stage i'll probably do a bit of regional stuff later in the
year but yeah that's what's set in stone for now going to edinburgh no i don't think so i don't
think so i mean that's not how i pronounce, but I think I know what you're talking about.
Aaronsborough?
Aaronsborough.
That's what I'm thinking.
I am.
I am down in Aaronsborough.
Aaronsborough's back.
Yeah.
The Ramsey Street Comedy Festival.
Doing a gig at the Ramsey Street Comedy Festival would be so much cheaper than Edinburgh.
They should set up a stage in the middle of the cul-de-sac of Ramsey Street.
This is the kind of thing that Zuckerberg should be doing with his whole metaverse, right?
Yes.
He should be creating a Ramsey Street in there where we can go and do a festival.
I want to send him an email.
Hey, Zook, I'm going to hit you with some ideas.
All right, well, let's get into the show.
How it works is, for new listeners, I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and
our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.
I then read their answers, as well as the real one, and they have to guess which one
is correct.
All right, here is question number one.
This one comes from Louis Gemmel from Glasgow.
And Lewis's question is, what does thagomizer mean?
What does thagomizer mean?
Okay.
While you're writing your answers,
I'll explain how the scoring works to the audience.
So, contestants get a point if their fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if they correctly guessed the audience. So contestants get a point if their fake answer is guessed by the other
contestant and another point if they correctly guessed the answer. And by the way, I'm also
playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I get a point
for each one of those that our guests choose as well. So each of us can score up to two points
per round. Seems fair, but the probability actually favors favors me the house and the house always wins
though if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know that that is rarely the case anyway
our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question
sign up on any level via patreon.com do go on pod which is linked in the show notes the answers are
in so let's go back to our first question what does does thagomizer mean? The trick box used by magicians performing the Sora person in half trick.
Hmm.
A piece of medical equipment used in tonsillectomies.
A lathing machine that stitches rubber to fabric used primarily in the automotive industry.
The four spike tail of a stegosaurus or a device used to permanently fit a merkin.
Permanently That's a bold move
I'm going to love this fake pubic hair forever
Forever
Wow, that's incredible
You don't hear of Merkins very often anymore
No
When I think of Merkin, I think of comedy in 2004 or 5
That was a buzzword from back then
So good
I love it
Okay, what was the second one?
Can you read the second one?
I'll quickly go through them all if you like
So you got the trick box used by magicians uh medical equipment from tonsillectomies
lathing machine stitches rubber to fabric the tail of a stegosaurus or the merkin fitting device
okay i i feel like i have confidence in one of them. Can I lock in the second one? The orthodontic-
Medical equipment?
Yeah, the medical equipment.
Yep.
You sure can.
Locking that in for Cam?
I'm sweating.
I've never been more stressed in my life and it's only round one.
Six more to go.
Will I survive?
I will- I think I'll say the, oh, no.
You want to say Merkin, I can tell.
I love choosing the gag one, but the third one's right.
It's stitching rubber to fabric, isn't it?
That's right, yep.
I was going to go with that, but I'm like,
under what circumstances would you be stitching rubber to fabric?
Well, yeah, in the automotive industry.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess.
Oh, nah.
I thought I had a...
Maybe like, yeah, seat covers seat covers Or you know those mats
You know the feet mats
Yeah that's good good on you
I've been in cars
Before Kirstie
We get it Matt you know your way around the vehicle
You have a rev head
Alright Hoon
Let's go Let's go All right, Hoon.
Let's go number one.
The magician's box. Magicians.
All right, locking that in for Kirstie.
Well, let's go through who wrote the answers.
DeVos used to permanently fit a Merc, and that was the house.
A lathing machine Which stitches rubber to fabric
That was Cam James
Oh man I was so close just then
I almost had it
That was crazy
It's hard to defend your answer
As well because it would be a bit
Transparent. Oh no there's heaps of things
That you would stitch rubber to fabric with
I'm so grateful
That you stepped in with floor mats You must have been on edge I'm so sorry. That bite my tongue. I'm so grateful that you stepped in with floor mats.
You must have been on edge.
I'm so sorry.
I was on edge.
That's as good as I could come up with.
I'm sweaty now.
I feel like how you felt a second ago, Kirsten.
So sweaty.
Then we had the trick box used by magicians performing the saw a person in half trick,
which Kirsten went for.
That was the house as well.
Yeah.
Do you know what? That phrasing at the end of it, that's whatie went for, that was the house as well. Yeah. Oh, do you know what?
That phrasing at the end of it, that's what made me kick it
to the curb the first time you said it.
Yeah, it's pretty casual.
The sore a person in half trick.
Oh, yeah.
That sounds pretty like that's the layman talking right there.
I think that's not.
Well, that was written by Lewis Gemmel of Glasgow.
So maybe, you know.
You got me Louis
He's obviously not
You don't think he's a pro magician
Oh I don't think
Maybe on the amateur circuit
Absolutely
And nothing wrong with that
Nothing wrong with that
We've all started somewhere Louis
Yeah
Then we had the medical equipment used in tonsillectomies
Which Cam picked
That was Kirstie
Oh yeah
Oh my god
Got him
Why didn't we That's insane that was so well written
thanks mate i appreciate it's funny that we both tried to go for some technical shit that we don't
really understand in our fake things god well congrats i gotta pay that that's really good
thanks mate and then that means the correct answer was the four-spike tail of a stegosaurus.
It's insane.
That is-
Great name for it.
Great name.
With quite a funny origin.
It comes from a Gary Larson cartoon.
Okay.
What?
So, Gary Larson just gets to make up names for anatomy.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
That doesn't sound right, dude.
No, no, no.
So, the idea is that, according to Lewis, the question writer,
the name was first used as a joke in a comic by Gary Larson in 1982,
but as no name officially existed,
it was gradually adopted by scientists and authors as an informal term.
Wow.
The scientists would have been so pissed off when people started
using that legitimately yeah and then eventually they're like well if you can't beat them join
them i guess what's next fucking the garfield guys coming up with the names
it's their whole job is coming up with names for things so funny uh all right here's question number two
what is the nickname of former nfl quarterback charlie whitehurst what is the nickname of former
nfl quarterback charlie whitehurst while you're writing your answer i'll see if i can find some
more information about the thagomizer uh There's a whole Wikipedia page dedicated to it.
It says,
A Thagomizer is the distinctive arrangement of four spikes on the tails of Stegosaurus dinosaurs.
These spikes are believed to have been a defensive measure against predators.
The original comic, I'm looking at it now,
is a caveman pointing to a picture of a Stegosaurus tail.
And then there's a bunch of cavemen watching on like an electric theatre sort of thing.
And the caption is,
Now this end is called a thagomizer after the late Thag Simmons.
So, obviously, we're pissing ourselves laughing at the idea of this cartoon you've just described.
I mean, a lot of it's in the visual.
Yeah, I suppose I'm missing
The drawings
The classic Larson drawings
There's a reason why there's not a podcast
Dedicated to describing cartoons
Although there is a section on
On the Australian
Political show
The Insiders where they do that
But I guess you can see them as well
The last five minutes of the show is them looking at the political cartoons of the week and reading them.
Yeah.
I reckon the key is in being able to see it as well.
It's a visual medium.
Yeah, for sure.
That's why it works.
That would be great.
Actually, a good podcast idea is maybe just describing magic eyes that you're looking at and just being like, I'm squinting.
Oh, no, it's coming to me now. I'm squinting. Oh, no, it's coming to me now.
I'm squinting.
Oh, okay.
I think it's a rocket ship.
Just looks like a series of colorful dots a second ago.
Yeah.
I wish you guys could see this.
It's pretty spectacular.
It's incredible.
So three-dimensional.
There's a link in the show notes.
All right. Here's a link in the show notes. All right.
Here's question number two.
What is the nickname of former NFL quarterback Charlie Whitehurst?
Checkmate Charlie?
Clipboard Jesus?
Chucky Chucket?
The Butterscotch Stallion?
Or the Green Bay Bay Bay?
Green Bay Bay Bay.
That's my nickname.
I've got to go through All those again
They're all really good nicknames
So
So great
Yeah
I'd be happy with any of these
Yeah
I'd be stoked
Should we all choose one at the end
I think we should
And exclusively go by that
That's good
For the rest of our lives
So we've got
Checkmate Charlie
Okay
Clipboard Jesus
Chucky Chucket
The Butterscotch Stallion or the Green Bay Bay Bay.
Oh, my God.
Have you got any instincts, Kirsty?
You feel like you know?
I absolutely do not know.
I've got to make up some cooked criteria in my head. I know. I've got to make up some cooked criteria in my head.
I know.
To whittle some of them down.
Yes, like a person I just heard of.
What's his nickname?
I don't even have a visual on him.
No idea.
I've just got this feeling in my waters that he loves a clipboard.
Did you say his position?
Like, does it say?
Yes
Former NFL quarterback
Oh, okay
Okay
You know what?
I'm going to take a wild swing and lock one in
I'm going to lock in Chucky Chucket
It's crazy
But it sucks
And it's the kind of thing that an idiot would come up with
I'm saying that now in case Kirsty came up with it
Yeah, ouch
I mean, nothing
I was going to go with Chucky Chuck it as well
Oh, wow
It's so bad
It's so bad
It's functional
Yeah, makes sense He's a quarterback Oh wow It's so bad It's so bad But also It's functional Yeah
Makes sense
He's a quarterback
I suspect there's a bit of
Chucking around
Going on when you're a quarterback
You gotta lock that in as well?
Nah
I can't
I can't
I can't
Like I know I can
According to the rules
It's your podcast
And you're saying it's fine
But
This is something inside me
Going no
You gotta do an independent one.
Yep, no worries.
Cam got that one.
He called dibs on Chucky Chucker.
Chucky Chucker.
Yeah.
Chucky Cammy got it before me.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It's really not good.
No, sorry.
I hope that catches on so bad.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please, no, please.
Checkmate Charlie, Clipboard Jesus, Chucky Chucket, and...
The Butterscotch Stallion, and the Green Bay Bay Bay.
Green Bay Bay Bay is so funny.
Butterscotch Stallion.
I love that one so much, just with no context.
What?
He plays football.
It's the Butterscotch Stallion.
Butterscotch.
What does that do?
It's sort of like smooth.
Stallions are athletic.
Chucky Chuck definitely has the most direct
line to reality.
It truly does. It really
does. The rest of them, it's like,
what's the link even?
Chuck Mayday is a big
chess player in his spare time.
Yeah. Or he's strategic
on the pitch. He's strategic.
Yes, that's true.
Oh, clipboard Jesus is just like yeah what the
fuck does that mean it's got a bit of a random name generator vibe yeah yeah yeah it's it's
our quarterback blue scooter oh of course um this is so hard and i'm just gonna have to
suck it up and do something so let's go with So let's go with Butterscotch Stallion.
Locking in Butterscotch Stallion.
I think I've got a migraine.
This show really does induce COVID-like symptoms in the players.
Yeah, I can't breathe.
Here's who wrote the answers.
Checkmate, Charlie.
That was Kirstie Wiebeck.
Wow.
I like that you fake deliberated over it as well.
Even after I'd locked mine in.
I riffed on it for half an hour.
Just in case you changed your mind.
Trying to win me over
That's great
The Green Bay Bay Bay
That was the house
Wow
Of course it was
The Butterscotch Stallion
Which Kirstie went for
That was Cam James
Oh no
I'll tell you why it's so catchy
It's um
That's Owen Wilson's nickname
That's what that's what people
call owen wilson and apparently it's because um that's what he likes to be called when he's being
intimate he it's like a sexy sexy nickname that he enjoys being called when he's intimate with
his lovers it's a bit wordy ow Yeah, you can't really yell that out.
There's too many syllables.
But it's a cool sounding name, the Butterscotch Stallion.
Oh, it's cool as.
Yeah, I love it. I might have a chat to my partner about that.
You've got to come up with a really quick one, I reckon.
Something you can just say in the heat of the moment.
Chucky Chucket.
Yeah, Chucky Chucket.
Yeah, Chucky chuck it 100% Yeah Chucky chuck it Yeah Chucky chuck it
Chucky chuck it
Which Cam went for
That was written by
Alex
AKA The House
The question writer there
Wow
So another point to The House
Meaning the correct answer
Was clipboard Jesus
I was
I was going between
Butterscotch Stallion
And clipboard Jesus
Do we know why?
Yes Sort of, sort of.
It was basically because he's got long hair and a beard
and he never really got to play much, so he was always on the sidelines.
I guess they hold a clipboard on the sidelines.
Brutal.
Brutal.
Like the Jesus losers here again, not getting a goose.
Yeah.
Wow.
Apparently, he's not a fan of the nickname.
And we're here to perpetuate it.
Much like Cam isn't a fan of his nickname, Chucky Chucket.
No one's calling me that.
Let's not make that a thing, guys.
No one's calling me that.
Let's not make that a thing, guys.
I think everyone should go to your show at Max Watts with billboards saying,
let's go, Chucky Chuckle.
I don't like this.
What about Chucky Chuckles?
Oh, you found a way to make it worse.
How is that possible?
Chuckles.
I'm going to leave here and I'm going to make my billboard.
Oh, for God's sake. I'm going to be in the front row.
I'll cancel my show to be at Cam's to get the chant going.
I don't even have Charles in my name.
It doesn't make sense.
Call me Clipboard Jesus, if anything, for God's sake.
All right, we're up to question number three.
This one was written by Paul McNally from Waterford in Ireland.
And Paul's question is,
what reason is often attributed to the Mayo men's Gaelic football team
having not won an all-Ireland football championship since 1951?
What reason is often attributed to the Mayo men's Gaelic football team
not having won the big championship since 1951?
While you're writing your answers i'll let
the listeners know a little bit more about charlie clipboard jesus whitehurst uh coordinator alex the
question writer dude was great played in the nfl for years and only started a handful of games
great locks on him so he looked like jesus so i think it's fantastic. Journalist Mike Chappell asked Clipboard Jesus himself if he likes the nickname,
and he replied, no, saying, I can't shake it.
But what are you going to do about it?
Chappell said, well, the nickname might vanish if he trimmed his long hair.
Whitehurst replied, not going to happen.
So doesn't like the nickname nickname but does like the locks
all right the answers are in so here's question number three what reason is often attributed to
the mayo men's gaelic football team having not won an all-island football championship since 1951
the curse of declan o'hare a local ghost story Immigration has diluted the number of Talented players in Mayo relative to
Other counties the 1951 team passed a
Funeral on their victory tour and a
Priest cursed them for not stopping to
Pay their respects they have a
Long-standing tradition of drinking too
Much the night before the semifinals
Thus being too hungover for the games or
The club folded in 1952?
These all fuck.
I mean, the last one would really be, it would be such a great answer to this question.
Why haven't a team won a game since 1951?
They haven't existed since 1952.
That's pretty good.
Oh, I mean mean I've got
I'm just gonna go for one I'm gonna lock
One in and uh
I don't even know if is it racist to lock in
The drinking one is that is that
Technically racism I think
It's more racist to have written it if it's not
True
It's either way it's not good to be
Dancing around that one
Like to write it is one thing
But to also be like that's true
That has to be true
But I'm going to lock it in because it sounds like
The type of thing that a community would
Come up with as a funny answer
So yeah I'd like to lock in
That all Irish people are alcoholics, please.
I think it might be okay for Australians to say this
as we have the same reputation.
True.
I can also-
Yeah, so it's on an even keel.
Very Irish.
Yeah.
Isn't it also like, is today or tomorrow St. Patrick's Day?
Today, the day of recording is St. Patrick's Day? Today, on the day of recording is St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah, the day we're recording.
Because I say this as someone who walked past the Irish pub in St. Kilda this morning at 8.30am
and everyone was dressed in green, smashing pints at 8.30am.
And he thought, something's up here.
Well, then I thought it was tomorrow.
So, I was like, is this the pre-drinks?
Like, are they pre-gaming for tomorrow?
It's like Pride Month.
They do St. Paddy's Month.
Good on them.
But also, like, and footy players love a drink, don't they?
Yes.
And this is Gaelic football.
Like, I assume that's similar.
Yeah, Aussie footy players definitely traditionally love a drink.
Maybe I should lock that one in as well.
Going to lock that one in as well?
Nah.
No?
I can't.
You've got...
You're going to do this each round, say I want to lick like I can, but I've got a moral
code saying I can't.
I've got a gut feeling about Declan O'Hare.
All right, lock in Declan O'Hare Alright, lock in
Declan O'Hare
Also, if Declan O'Hare isn't true
That's also racist
For making the name Declan O'Hare
There's a lot of racism in this round
Alright, well let's go through the answers
And I really hope that the Irish question writer, Paul McNally, is enjoying the racism.
I'm so uncomfortable.
The club folding.
I'm majority Irish blood, so I feel like it's okay.
I've got Irish blood in me as well.
All right, so I think, you know, our heritage means that we get a pass here.
It's coming from a loving place.
Yeah, I mean, my dad's a leprechaun.
I'm also a known alcoholic, so, you know.
So, the house wrote the club folded in 1952.
That's funny.
Then we had mass immigration diluted the number of talented players.
That was written by Paul McNally himself.
The house, the only genuine Irish one involved in this round.
Seemed to dodge any sort of alcohol related stuff there.
Then we had the curse of Declan O'Hare.
Which curse did you pick?
That was Cam James.
Oh, you got me.
Hey, Kirsty, if you think the name Declan O'Hare is racist, my first draft was Patty O'Hare.
And I was like, I can't go with Patty.
That's insane.
That's too obvious.
So, I dialed it down to Declan.
Yeah.
Seamus was somewhere in between.
Yeah.
Then we had the longstanding tradition of drinking too much the night before.
That was written by Kirstie.
Oh, no.
So, you picked each other.
Which I like.
I didn't.
Do you know what?
The two that you both designated as the most on the nose were written by you two.
Do you know, I was literally just thinking like footy culture when I was like, when I
wrote the thing about the drinking.
And then when Cam was like, that's pretty off.
I was like, oh, no.
I was like, no I was like no they're playing football That's all they do is booze and play
Football but anyway
I'd like to apologise to any Irish listeners
Me too me too sorry Paul
And that means the correct one
Was the curse
Of the priest the funeral
They didn't suffer the funeral and the priest cursed them
So Cam Your cursed one
Was pretty close
Yeah I was in the ballpark
I actually had a little
A chill went down my spine
When you read out
The word curse
For the second time
It was almost like
The ghost of Declan O'Hare
Walked on your grave
Or something
Okay so that means
That it's one point
To Kirsty that round And one point to Kirstie that round
and one point to Cam.
Wow.
Meaning, quick score update after three rounds,
it's Kirstie on two points, Cam on two points,
and the house on two points.
Wow, it's so close.
So close.
You'd never see scores like that in Gaelic football.
We assume.
I think it's actually A pretty cool sport
From memory
It's
It looks pretty badass
I think I've seen it
In the past
Yeah
It's similar to
Aussie rules
Yeah
With a soccer ball
With a round ball
Yeah that's so cool
Yeah like
It's crazy it hasn't
Taken off over here
Yeah
All you need is just like
A bunch of cool people
To start making it
A pub thing.
Like how pickleball is really big in America now or whatever.
So, you know.
Pickleball sounds made up.
Is that a real thing?
It's real.
Yeah.
And it's huge in the States.
Pickleball.
I love it.
Yeah.
It's like ping pong but on a half-size tennis court or something like that.
Oh.
It's a really odd little hybrid between, yeah, ping pong and tennis. So, we could get
Gaelic football happening if we just did it. I was about to say, I think we just found our founding
three members. Yeah. The Australian Gaelic Football Association.
Let's do it. Absolutely. You know, there's like celebrities and stuff, like some of the
Hollywood A-listers own pickleball leagues.
Yeah, it's like, it's a whole thing. We're the Australian equivalent of Hollywood A-listers own pickleball weeks. Why? Yeah. It's like, it's a whole thing.
We're the Australian equivalent of Hollywood A-listers.
I think so, yeah.
If anyone was going to get it off the ground, it'd be these three A-listers.
I think so, yeah.
All right.
We're on to question number four.
This one comes from Dylan Old from Myrtleford in Victoria.
Beautiful part of the world.
And Dylan's question is, which of these is a real species of
frog so you've just got to come up with a fake frog species and while you're writing your answers
here's a little more information on the Mayo curse according to Paul supposedly the curse was to
remain active until all surviving members of the 1951 panel were dead in the intervening years Mayo
have lost the all-island final Final 11 times. The last surviving member
of the 1951 team, Paddy
Prentegast, Cam.
He was the last
surviving member of the team. They do
it to themselves.
Paddy
Prentegast died in September of 2021
at the age of 95.
He passed away 15 days after Mayo's 11th finals defeat.
And they have not since returned to the all-island final yet to test the curse.
So if they make it to another grand final and win, that will prove the curse basically 100% true.
All right, your answers are in for question number four.
Which of these is a real species of
frog? Leaping knob gobbler. Leaping knob gobbler. Hang on. So, only one of these is real. Yeah,
that's right. All right. I'm looking in leaping knob gobbler.
Before I've heard the others, I already know. Horny three-toed tree frog,
I already know.
Horny three-toed tree frog, smat rat, yellowstone desert frog, or mountain chicken.
Anything jumping out at you there, Kirstie?
If you want to jump in on knob gobbler before Cam gets it, so you don't break your rule.
Maybe this is part of my tactic.
Yeah.
All right. So, the jumping knob gobbler.
Leaping knob gobbler.
Sorry.
Bitter respect.
Some parts is known as the jumping knob gobbler.
Bitter respect.
Leaping knob gobbler.
Horny three-toed tree frog, smat rat, yellowstone desert frog, or mountain chicken.
Oh, God.
Mountain chicken.
Hmm. I hate it.
I'm stuck in smat rat.
Smat rat is rank.
Yeah.
It's fucking foul.
I want to stay away from it.
Smat rat's wrecked my whole week.
Yeah.
I feel sick.
I'm slipping in and out of consciousness.
I feel sick.
I'm flipping in and out of consciousness.
Whoever came up with that, either the scientist or one of us,
is, I think, some sort of a genius.
Can't for the life of me imagine who came up with that.
Mat Rat, Mountain Chicken, Horny Three-Towed tree frog, and then leaping knob gobbler.
I think horny three-toed tree frog is also too long for a bedroom name, don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Horny three.
Or horny frog even is fine. Or horny frog.
Yeah.
Or not bad.
Yeah, horny frog's good.
You can bring your toes into it. I mean, I guess, you know, horny frog even is fine. Or horny frog. Yeah. Or not bad. Yeah, horny frog's good. Don't bring your toes into it.
I mean, I guess, you know, unless that's what you wanted.
Unless that's what you like.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I should.
Look, I don't know why I'm even jumping in.
Your bedroom, your rules.
Yeah.
We're not here to kink shame.
No.
Incidentally, I've got lovely toes.
Count them.
One, two, three.
So, you know what?
I'm just actually going to go with my first instinct Which is leaping knob gobbler
And lock it in
Okay
It feels like one of those ones that you
Is like
They didn't know what they were saying back in the day
It just
It meant something different.
And then now we think it's funny because it has knob gobbler in it.
Yeah.
It ate these, the knobby mushrooms.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Leaping knob gobbler.
So, that's ruled that one out for you if you're sticking with that rule.
Yeah.
So, you've got 43- 23 toad tree frog smat rat
yellowstone desert frog or mountain chicken oh oh no i mean the yellowstone desert frog
legit sounds like a frog which makes me think that someone's chucked it in there
to throw us off the scent you know right i've watched murder Wrote I know how this shit works Like But who done it?
Everyone
It's
Knives out
We're all fucking detectives now
Are we?
We are
We absolutely are
If you are ruling that one out
That leaves
Horny three-toed tree frog
Smat rat
Or mountain chicken
I hate it
I hate
I just don't understand
How the rounds are getting worse
Like exponentially.
Exponentially worse.
Look, just please lock in the Yellowstone one.
Will do.
Lock in Yellowstone Desert Frog.
I'm going full vanilla on the round.
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
Horny Three-Towed Tree Frog was Kirstie Wiebeck That's pretty good
And also you again danced around that one too
So clever
Yeah very clever
What a snake in the grass
The smat rat which I love personally
That was written by the house
No
You're kidding me.
You are kidding.
I think it's a beautiful name for a frog.
Or a boy or a girl.
You wrote it, Matt.
Look, you know,
did I write it?
In a lot of ways.
You're so transparent.
What does writing even mean?
What does it mean?
It's like you're a vessel for God, really.
To be honest, I got it from a friend and it's, I think it's some of their finest work.
I can't name the friend.
You probably wouldn't know them.
They're from a different town.
What has that left us with?
The Yellowstone Desert Frog
Curse he picked
That was Cam James
Oh, he got me
He got me
He got in my head
I let him into my head
Two snakes in the grass in this game
Cam went for the Leaping Knob Gobbler
Which was written by Dylan
A.K.A. The House The correct answer is Mountain Chicken Cam went for the leaping knob gobbler Which was written by Dylan AKA the house
The correct answer is mountain chicken
Why?
I hate it
Apparently they taste like chicken
But you'd call everything chicken then
And they're from the mountains
That's stupid
You're right
I hate that sort of shit
Yeah like heaps of stuff
Like what's that thing they say like
Yeah like chicken of the sea
That's that tuna
Tuna yeah
Brand
Yeah
And then there's that thing where they call like
Bull's testicle
Or goat testicles
Rocky mountain oysters or something like that
Oh yeah
I hate all that stuff
Oh that's
Yeah
Apparently these frogs are real big
And their legs are almost like drumsticks.
Okay.
That does sound yum.
And they go...
And they cover their feathers.
I did read somewhere that they do sound a bit like chickens as well.
I think they might be chickens.
They might not be frogs at all.
They've just been plucked chickens.
Yeah.
I mean, was it like a two-year-old that identified these?
It could have been a two-year-old.
That's my favourite thing when small children misidentify animals.
I think it's so funny.
When I got my puppy a couple of years back,
my partner was taking her for a walk
and she's always clearly looked like
a dog.
And this small child stopped his mum on the street and goes, look, mum, look at that boy
and his cat.
Oh, for two.
Got him. That's so funny
They've never gone for a walk since
Just a boy out walking his cat
36 year old woman and her dog but whatever
Alright we're up to question number 5
This one comes from Rachel Johnson from Melbourne.
This is another chicken-related question.
What was the name of the romance novel released by KFC to celebrate Mother's Day in 2017?
What was the name of the romance novel released by KFC to celebrate Mother's Day in 2017?
While they're writing their answers, here's some more information about the mountain chicken. According to Akron Zoo and their website, mountain chicken frogs are found on the islands of
Domenica and Montserrat. They get their name from the locals who first discovered the species,
claiming its meat tastes like chicken. This species is also commonly called the giant ditch frog,
which is also not that friendly, I don't think of it for a name.
As one of the world's largest frogs.
Mountain chicken frogs can jump up to six feet high.
Soaring over the heads of many human adults.
That's wild.
I would love a mountain chicken to jump over my head.
That'd be the best.
I think it'd be a nightmare.
Having a mountain chicken jump over your head.
Yeah, it'd be horrible.
It'd be like, oh, like if you were just sitting down on a hill and a frog jumped over your head.
I don't like it.
I'm so hungry.
I could eat the ass out of a low jumping mountain chicken.
I'm so hungry. I could gobble the knob of a leaping gob nobbler.
Gob nobbler.
I feel stupid for locking that in now, but it felt right.
Nah, it did feel right.
All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.
All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.
All right, the answers are in for question number five.
What was the name of the romance novel released by KFC to celebrate Mother's Day in 2017?
The Beguiling Stranger.
The Colonel's Hot and Spicy Bucket of Love.
Tender W of desire.
Kentucky fried lovin' or zinger for two.
Is anyone else mildly aroused?
Yeah.
Did somebody say KFC?
I actually can't believe this is real at all I don't know
It's insane, like a full novel? Surely not, surely just like
Apparently 97 pages long
That's 97 too long
Why? Who gets employed to do that?
Supposedly written by the colonel himself
Oh wow, by the colonel himself.
Oh, wow.
By the colonel. But, I mean, he'd been dead for a while by then, I think so.
Feels like maybe.
Maybe they made it up.
Maybe as a marketing guy.
Yeah.
Funnily enough, we're doing this week's episode of the Do Go On podcast is with guest Beck
Petratus and she tells us the story of Colonel Sanders.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, fascinating.
I find, yeah, I don't know anything about him, but his, you know,
it's got to be a good story.
Was he really a colonel or is it like Colonel Tom Parker's situation
with Elvis?
I think, yeah, it's closer to that, I think.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, it was a very interesting story, but yeah.
He didn't come out great.
Yeah.
I don't know that that shocks me.
All right, so can we hear them again?
Sorry.
The Beguiling Stranger, The Colonel's Hot and Spicy Bucket of Love,
Tender Wings of Desire, Kentucky Fried Lovin' or Zinger for Two.
I'm trying to- There's really funny ones in there.
Zinger for Two is so funny.
And so is Kentucky Fried Lovin'.
But I feel like they would go for something with a touch of class.
Based on what, Cam?
Based on what?
Maybe that's the wrong word.
What am I thinking?
I think they'd go for like a...
Cam's like, have you seen the restaurants?
They're beautiful.
They're really stunning.
And one of the ones he didn't rule out was the Colonel's Hot and Spicy Bucket of Love.
Something a bit classy.
And one of the ones he didn't rule out was the Colonel's hot and spicy bucket of love.
Something a bit classy.
I think I'm drawn to the word desire and I think it's tender wings of desire.
And I think I like it because it feels like something, it feels a bit romantic.
It feels sweet.
I'm intrigued.
Yeah, I'm going to go with tender wings of desire.
All right, locking that in for Cam.
What do you think, Kirstie? I'm going to go with tender wings of desire Alright locking that in for Cam What do you think Kirstie?
I'm going for Zinger for two It reeks of Matt Stewart
But I'm locking it in anyway
It's got that stink on it you reckon
It does
Alright let's go through who wrote the answers
The beguiling stranger
Which is probably the classiest of them all
And might not surprise you to know
That was Cam James.
I was definitely trying to plant a seed there when I said that.
I thought that was Cam.
Yeah, god damn it.
My gameplay technique has become too transparent.
I need to mix it up.
Then we had The Colonel's Hot and Spicy Bucket of Love.
That was written by rachel aka the
house wow good one as was zinger for two also written by rachel rachel you got me so it's one
point for the house there kentucky fried love and that was kirsty weebeck oh yes i'd read it yeah
meaning the correct answer is tenderender Wings of Desire.
Oh.
So, a point to Cam there and one point to the house.
It felt like a marketing name that they would come up with.
It's something, it's not too smutty.
Yeah.
You know, it's a bit safe, but it also references one of their key products that they want to sell, the Wicked Wing.
Yeah.
And first and foremost, and most of note to Cameron James, it's classy.
It's classy.
It's classy.
Colonel, famously classy unit.
A touch of class.
That's what the C actually stands for.
Only two rounds to go Quick score update
We've got Kirstie still on two points
But out in front
Cam and the house on four points apiece
Oh wow
Wow
But of course Kirstie
You'll know this
That the final round
Is worth triple points
So it's still
Definitely anyone's game
And you've got
You can get two points
In this game in
This round right here leveling up the
Scores going to last round this is
Question number six thanks for cheering
Me up Matt a question on the six comes
From Emmy White from Albuquerque New
Mexico and Emmy's question is what
Happened in Woburn Massachusetts that made the news in November 2022
I just want to say as well uh not the first time I've heard the word Emmy and Albuquerque New Mexico
mentioned in the same sentence because Breaking Bad was set in Albuquerque and also won some Emmys
so pretty pretty interesting.
Just an interesting thing for us to think about while we're writing our answers.
What a blatant, dirty grab for a bonus three point.
And a beautiful name.
Beautiful name.
Beautiful place in the world as well.
Yeah.
So what happened in Woburn, Massachusetts that made the news in November of 2022?
Racist answers only.
It's quite a big Irish expat population in Massachusetts.
I think it was something to do with the curse of Declan O'Hare.
While they're writing their answers,
here's a bit more information about Tender Wings of Desire.
According to Time magazine,
the fast food chain revealed a romance novel
written by Colonel Sanders just in time for Mother's Day.
The 96-page Tender Wings of Desire is set in Victorian England
and available on Amazon for free.
The novel centres on Lady Madeline Parker,
who must choose between a life of order and a man of passion. The man of passion, of course,
being Colonel Harland Sanders himself, a quote, handsome sailor with a mysterious past. Here's a
quote from when the heroine first sees the hero, Colonel Sanders. He was tall, dressed like a
sailor with a striped linen shirt and woolen peacoat,
crusted with sea salt.
His hair was light and fair, framing his head in airy curls,
and the eyes that stared back at her were almost the exact colour of the sea,
perhaps darker, but not by much, and they hid behind glasses with dark frames.
Madeline had never seen a sailor wear glasses before.
Somehow it made him seem all the more handsome.
He leaned on the bar
His eyes looking into hers
And liking what they saw
For a moment
She felt hot and cold
All at the same time
Woof
The butterscotch stallion
I like that
Like even though it seems like
Clearly he didn't write it
But it's funny to think that he supposedly wrote this
and that's how he's describing himself.
It's confident.
It's confident, yeah.
So, no, probably that's what the C stands for.
I thought it was class.
Kentucky pride confidence.
All right, the answers are in for our second last question here.
Question number six.
What happened in Woburn, Massachusetts that made the news in November 2022?
The Lindsay Lohan movie Christmas on the Farm 2 was filmed.
It was discovered that a sex doll smuggling ring was based there,
with an estimate of over half a million illegal sex dolls in circulation
having arrived in America through the Woburn post office.
A flock of turkeys intimidated residents of the town,
stopping many of them from leaving
their homes.
Fish fell from the sky during a violent storm or a lamp was said to be haunted after it
remained on despite being unplugged from the wall.
It was later discovered it also had a battery pack.
One of these made the news just last year.
The fish falling from the sky one is one I've heard recently.
I think about Australia.
I think I heard it happening in Australia.
There was a, I don't know, or maybe not,
but I remember hearing it recently that fish got sucked up into a tornado,
not a tornado, but something like that, and then rained back down.
I think that shit happens.
Or maybe I'm just thinking of the movie Magnolia where that happens at the end with frogs, aka mountain chickens.
But it feel- I don't-
Yeah, it feels- That's in my mind.
It can't be sex dolls, right?
It can't be. I don't- Yeah, well,
it would be a real boon for the town
You know
Yeah
I wonder what the population there in Woburn is
To be the mecca for illegal sex dolls
And what
How are sex dolls illegal?
I thought
What is it about them?
Yeah
They've got a certain modification to them, okay
I can't say any more than that
It's a population of about 40,000.
Okay.
How many sex dolls were at the post office?
Half a million.
Over half a million.
Wow.
Wow.
It's like 1.25 illegal sex dolls per house.
You'd think everyone in the town must be working in the operation.
Yeah, for sure.
This goes right to the top.
Yeah.
The mayor's involved.
The mayor of Woburn.
I've got to hear them again.
I'm sorry, Matt.
I'm sorry.
I need to hear them all again.
It's still getting progressively more stressful.
Yeah.
This is a nail-biter.
So, we've got the Lindsay Lohan movie Christmas on a Farm 2
Being filmed
The sex doll smuggling ring
The flock of turkeys
Intimidating residents
Of the town
Fish falling from the sky
Or the
Supposed haunted lamp
I'm going haunted lamp
I'm going turkeys
Turkeys for Cam
Lamp for Kirsty
Alright
Let's go through
Who wrote the answers
The Lindsay Lohan movie Christmas Christmas on the Farm 2 was filmed.
That was Cam James.
Oi.
Big Lindsay Lohan fan.
He's a big cinephile.
I love her.
Fans of Cam will know.
He does a whole movie podcast.
He knows movies.
I know heaps of movies.
I'm nervous about our final question.
Me too.
Movie related.
I feel thick
The sex doll smuggling ring
That was written by Emmy
Okay the house
Another Emmy coming your way for that writing
Great story yeah
The fish falling from the sky during a violent storm
That was Kirstie Wiebeck
Wow
Did it happen in Australia recently or something?
Is that what it was?
I think so.
Yeah.
It happens all over the world.
Yeah.
All the time.
Right.
Like, yeah, just getting sucked up into a storm cell.
So, but the news loves it, right?
They love it.
That would be weird.
A weird thing to experience.
I imagine being slapped in the face by a trout while you're just trying to make your way home in the rain.
Like, it's no good
I did a do-go-on episode
Years ago which was vaguely related
Called the Kentucky meat shower
Where just random meat fell
Down on a town and they
Wasn't the Kentucky meat shower the name
Of the romance
Yes yes yes Wasn't the Kentucky meat shower the name of the romance?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Maybe you should be Chucky Chuckles, Kirsty.
Take that, Colonel.
Because that is good stuff.
That is good stuff.
Chucky Chuckles strikes again.
Can't deny it. Incredibly, incredibly jealous of your form there. That was really good stuff. Chucky chuckle strikes again. Can't deny it.
Incredibly jealous of your form there.
That was really good stuff.
Then we had the haunted lamp.
That was written by the house.
So, Kirstie gives a point to the house there.
Oh, no.
Meaning the correct answer was a flock of turkeys intimidated residents of the town.
Do you know, that was my gut feeling as well, was the turkey one.
But then I was like, is it Albuquerque turkey?
Oh, right.
Yes. You know, I spooked myself.
You think Amy was sitting at home going, what rhymes with my city?
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, God, I've got to get out of people's brains.
Mine's a lot more complex than...
You're playing 3D chess against no one right now.
All right.
So, that's insane.
That really happened?
That's so crazy.
Yeah.
And I'll talk about it a little bit more in a second.
But first, I'll give you your final question.
So, the final question comes from Paul Mellor from Oldham in the UK.
And Paul's question is, what is the synopsis of the 1972 film The Asphyx?
What is the synopsis of the 1972 film The Asphyx?
The Asphyx.
Now, are you laughing because this is one of your favourites or?
Absolute favourite.
Watch it every weekend.
We're a big Asphyx household.
How do you spell it?
A-S-P-H-Y-X.
Okay.
While your answers are being written,
here's some more information about the Woburn turkeys.
According to Adam Gabbett, writing for The Guardian,
it's the time of year when millions of turkeys across the US
might justifiably fear for their safety.
But in one Massachusetts town, the birds have turned the tables,
ganging up to terrorise residents with pecks, kicks and loud clucking.
People in Woburn, northwest of Boston,
have been subjected to a barrage of attacks and intimidation by a group of five wild turkeys,
with the situation forcing some to take up improvised weapons and residents reporting being trapped in their homes.
The turkeys, led by a male bird nicknamed Kevin, arrived two years ago.
Initially, the birds were docile, but as time passed, they have become ever more pugnacious,
leaving Woburners fearful for their safety and forced to adapt their behavior. Local Megan Tolson, who lives in Woburn, said,
They peck at cars. They stop traffic. They go after kids on bikes. If you're walking or jogging
or anything like that, they come for you. Tolson said she has even found herself trapped in her
home by the birds. Some days it's frustrating. I'll be like, oh my God, there's an Amazon package and I can't go get it because the turkeys are there
and they're watching. Then I just have to wait until nightfall. I've kind of adjusted over time
to it. I know their routine now, so I can kind of work around them. So what? She now has to
live her life based on the schedule of some turkeys.
Tolson blames Kevin, distinguishable as the only male in the group, by his impressive size and
elaborate tail plumage for the group's behavior, noting that when Kevin is absent, the female
turkeys tend to leave people and cars alone. The women are more mellow and not so territorial,
but I think he kind of amps them up to get them going to chase people. But they're never the
instigators, Tolson said. When Kevin's not around, they'll actually just mind their own business and walk
away from you. Frightened residents have made calls to the police, and Tolson said officers
sometimes show up and shush the birds away. But once the law is left, the turkeys resume their
reign of terror. The birds also appear to have bulked up in recent months, Tolson said, making
them even more intimidating. These turkeys
are like Thanksgiving ready, she said. When Kevin goes after you, he can kick pretty good. Despite
all the trouble, Tolson said she wishes the birds no ill will. When I don't see them for a couple
of days, I think, oh no, someone's run them over, she said. I mean, yeah, they can be a pain
sometimes, but you know, they're just turkeys. I think that's beautifully put by megan all right
here is the final question remembering this is triple points so you know you could get six points
here meaning it is truly anyone's game what is the synopsis of the 1972 film the asphyx a young
british archaeologist mines a hidden tomb beneath the sphinx known as the asphyx which leads to dire
consequences for all involved a scientific experiment fails leaving the instigator professor
george banks in a permanent state of asphyxiation in this laugh out loud ahead of its time black
comedy sounds hilarious
ahead of its time How?
How?
This movie was doing asphyxiation gear way before everyone else
Yeah, I feel like a hack now A gentleman photographer in Victorian England, Sir Hugo Cunningham, searches for immortality by trying to literally bottle up the spirit of the dead at the moment of people's death.
A group of students travel to Greece for a two-week trip.
While there, they visit a museum and subsequently fall ill one by one, struggling to breathe and eventually dying.
The remaining students must work out how to reverse the curse before they too die.
Or low-level thief Rod Huck, played by John Voight,
finds himself in possession of a piece of film that allegedly shows
the identity of the assassin responsible for the murder of JFK.
Huck becomes caught in a vast conspiracy between the mafia, the CIA,
and one US senator, played by Gene Gene Hackman out to take him down.
Okay, Cameron James.
So you've got...
What are you implying?
What are you implying?
It felt more full on than implying
Just come out and say it
If you've got something to say, just say it
Say it to my face
So, just briefly we'll go through them all again
You've got the British archaeologist
Who gets some sort of a curse
Then you've got the failed scientific experiment
Which was a movie ahead of its time
Laugh out loud
The photographer in Victorian England
Who's trying to literally bottle up the spirit of the dead
To get immortality
A group of students traveling to greece
they have to try and reverse the curse before they also die or the low-level thief rod huck
unraveling the jfk murder conspiracy hmm oh um was the photographer one described as a gentleman
photographer a gentleman photographer hmm interesting That's very flowery, which makes me feel like it's fake.
But maybe.
I mean, I'm leaning more towards the gentleman photographer and the students going to Greece.
Yeah.
For some reason.
I don't know why, but they're sticking out at me.
Wow.
So, the gentleman photographer is capturing the spirits of people as they're dying?
Yeah.
Bottling.
Bottling.
Trying to use that for his own immortality.
Uh-huh.
That's how I read that.
And the Greece students are being plagued by a curse that's killing them off one by one.
Yes.
Via asphyxiation Yes
I want to go with grease
Grease is the word
Okay and grease for Cam
That rules that one out for you Kirstie I assume
If you're sticking by that rule
Kirstie
This is spooky
I just got a shiver down my spine
Almost like patio hair was walking on my grave
I'm gonna go with the photographer
Photographer for Kirsty
So you were following similar logic to Cam there
Yeah and Cam ruled grief out for me
My own rule
And what was wrong with the last one
The JFK conspiracy
That one sounded pretty good
Yeah that one sounded incredible
That sounded like a real movie buff had written it
It did stand out as probably the one
That sounded the most like a real movie
Which would normally make you think
That's the one you'd guess.
But Kirstie wasn't playing that game.
I wasn't going to be tricked by the snake in the grass again.
And I got to tell you, Kirstie, you were spot on.
That was Cam's answer. Ding, ding, ding.
Yeah.
Was my problem, I want to analyze my gameplay.
Was casting two actors in my synopsis the giveaway or?
I, that, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, John Voight, I was like, here we go.
And what was it, Gene Hackman?
Gene Hackman.
They're a couple of cinephile heroes, aren't they?
They were era appropriate.
That's so funny.
All right.
You got me.
Right away.
I get 18 bonus points for exposing Ken.
I feel like I'm wrapped up in a vast conspiracy.
We had the young British archaeologist Minding a hidden tomb
That was written by Paul Mellor
A.K.A. The House
As was the scientific experiment failing
Which was a laugh out loud
Ahead of its time
Black comedy
Which I love that work from Paul
Ahead of its time
Laugh out loud
Ahead of its time
Black comedy
I'm definitely going to borrow that
For a future episode
You should.
A group of students travel to Greece for a two-week trip.
That was written by Kirstie Wiebeck.
No.
You're kidding.
Meaning Kirstie also got the correct answer.
A gentleman photographer in Victorian England.
Meaning Kirstie gets maximum points there.
I've maxed it.
The comeback kid.
Just quickly, the
Asphix got mixed reviews
scoring 67% on Rotten Tomatoes
in the 40%
from the viewers though.
It was more of a critics film than a
your average Joe film.
But the lead actor, does this guy mean
anything to you Cam? Robert Stevens?
An English actor?
No.
Cam only knows John boynton no i'm looking him up right now i don't know what's he in what do we what do we know him from
nothing i know i'll tell you so he got very this role got very different reviews i'll read out a
couple of snippets of reviews of this film that mention him.
Reviewer Ian Berryman was right into Robert Stevens' work in this film writing,
what stops the film from sliding into irredeemable silliness is the performance of Robert Stevens,
one of those dependable British thesps you can always rely on to pull out all the stops.
Wow. Whereas another critic, Jeff Andrew, writes, the film degenerates into formula and farce
with Stephen's theatrical delivery adding the mortal blow.
Wow, yeah.
I'm looking at his credits now.
Big stage guy.
A lot of Shakespeare.
I hear his King Lear was the toast of the West End.
Whoa.
Yeah.
People are loving him.
He played Falstaff.
God, this guy.
Yeah, I love him.
I'd cast him in my movie opposite John Voight for sure.
Gene Hackman, you're out.
All right.
Well, let's do a final score check.
In equal second place, we had Cam on five points and The House on five points.
Cam, now can you tell listeners a bit more info about your big show coming up?
Sure.
Yeah, it's a show I toured last year.
It's called Electric Dreams.
It's stories and how do I explain it?
I've had two years to figure out how to pitch this show.
I haven't quite landed on the right way to sell it. When I was a teenager,
I wrote a lot of songs and I played in bands and I wanted to be a serious musician.
And for this show, I have dug out a bunch of those old songs and I play them live. And they're very
earnest and very serious songs written by a 15-year-old.
And I tell the stories behind them.
And it's truly an exercise in cringe and embarrassment and coming of age.
It would be a beautiful film adaptation with Robert Stevens, I think, if we could ever get any lead.
Or playing your father.
Playing a 15-year-old boy, I think.
He could do it.
He's really good.
And yeah, I'm doing One Night in Melbourne on April 15.
And then I'm also doing Sydney, One Night in Sydney and Two Nights in Brisbane.
And I feel like that's going to be it.
I think I might be done with the show after that.
So, I'd really love it if people would come along and check it out. I think we clashed last year and then I tried to see you in Sydney and it was already sold out when I was standing at the ticket booth. So,
I think I'm finally going to get to see it this year in Melbourne. I'm really, really excited.
Oh, man. I'd love to see you there. It's at the beautiful time of 4.30 in the afternoon. So...
Oh, I'm in my matinee era.
Like, I'm here for a 4.30 show.
How good is it?
Yes.
Comedy Festival should just be an afternoon thing.
Big time.
Big time.
So keen.
Can I just quickly say as well that I had a show on after Cam's show last year at Perth Comedy Festival.
So, I caught his show.
And it's so great and it got
nominated for most outstanding show at melbourne international comedy festival last year as well
which cam would absolutely not say on this podcast he shuns the awards yeah he shuns that whole world
well what no you you know you you've got to be humble in comedy, don't you? You've got to be humble.
Other people don't have to be humble on your behalf, though.
So the point is that Cam's show is really, really great.
And you should absolutely get along.
I've heard nothing but good things.
Yeah.
I'm so pumped to say it.
Thank you so much.
And Kirstie, I'm already hearing great word about your new show.
Yeah, thanks, mate.
I've been very vocal about it.
So you're going to do the full run in Melbourne.
You're going to Canberra.
You're going to Perth.
And where can people see it or hear more about it?
In Brisbane.
Yeah, and Brisbane and Sydney.
On my website, all the tickets and stuff are at kirstiewebeck.com.
So you can see the dates and the venues like across the
whole country um is the title accurate is it just a bit of fun no i undersold it um i i called it a
bit of fun before i wrote it and then i accidentally wrote a really really fun show
a huge amount of fun so i cooked that but But I think it's good to manage people's expectations.
Comedians, they have to be understated.
Yeah, under promise and over deliver, I think.
And you know what, Kirsty, I'll say this about you.
You are a lot of fun.
You are a very fun comedian.
You're a blast to watch.
Everyone should go.
Thanks, mate.
That's very kind.
Thank you.
What time are you on in Melbourne?
I'm on at 6pm, which I'm thrilled about.
We clash.
I'm on at 6.30, unfortunately.
Early shows.
Early shows are where it's at these days.
Oh, mate, 100%.
To begin with, I got offered like 7.10 or 7.15,
and I was like, I'm not party boy Corey.
Corey, what a great reference.
But you will party tonight, Kirsty, because you have come out in front on eight points.
The celebration will never stop.
I can't believe it.
Absolutely coming from the clouds. i can't believe it absolutely coming from the clouds
i can't believe it either i yeah i've never been more stressed in my life but i triumphed
so people should definitely see kirsty's show camp show and my show ding i'm also doing this
podcast live in melbourne at what's the euro now being called it's called something new and i keep
yeah it has a weird name i I keep forgetting what it's called.
Yeah, it has a weird name.
I can't remember what it is either.
Let's just keep calling it the Euro.
It's the Euro.
I still call Maxwell Tyfer.
I can't help myself.
Me too.
I didn't know it had a new name.
I've been kept in the dark about this.
Yeah, it's called something house.
Oh, is this-
I think it's happening now.
Like, it's closed now for renovation.
Yeah, for renovation.
Carl hasn't-
Is this Carl's way
Phasing me out
From booking me
Changing the venue name
And yeah
I'm doing this podcast
Also in Brisbane
At the Brisbane Comedy Festival
In May
So pretty excited
For that
I think
I've got
Nick Mason's gonna be
Doing the Melbourne one
And I know
I know he's always
Very good fun
Yeah He's a bit of fun He's a one And I know he's always very good fun Yes
He's a bit of fun
He's a bit of fun
Yeah
He's a bit of fun
Yeah
I don't want to oversell Mace though
Don't
Too much pressure
And yeah
Please follow these two
Go see their shows
But that is all we have time for
Thanks so much for joining us Cam and Kirsty
And now that you've listened to the show
Who Knew It with Matt Stewart
You now know it And I've been Matt Stewart I forget how I sign off joining us cam and kirsty and uh now that you've listened to the show who knew about stewart you
now know it and i've been matt stewart i forget how i sign off but anyway something like that
goodbye
all right so can you explain it one more time? Because now I am genuinely confused.
And you can cut this out.
Yeah, I will cut this out.
I think Matt needs to explain it to you for the first time.
Jesus fucking...
What the fuck am I going to write?
Jesus fucking...
Thagomise.
Thagomise.
What the fuck is a thagomise Thagomise What the fuck is a thagomise
No visual
You're on
You know
You're in the shoes of our listeners now
For our new podcast
Describing cartoons
Did you
Did you say
I don't know if that's a catchy enough name
But
Toon Talk
Oh Toon Talk is great Toon Talk is sick Yeah Toon Talk It's really good I don't know if that's a catchy enough name. Tune Talk?
Oh, Tune Talk is great.
Tune Talk's sick.
Yeah, Tune Talk.
It's really good.
Alexi just asked, who's on with Cam?
I said, Kirstie Wiebeck.
He said, nice.
Wiebeck is great on your pod.
Thanks, mate.
Are you going to leave this in?
Because this is good.
Thanks, Alexi.
Thanks for engaging.
It means a lot to me.
I just got a poster quote, I think.
I'll have to paraphrase it.
Just Webeck is great, dot, dot, dot.
That's all you need.
Cut out the rest.
Are we getting cancelled over the Irish one?
We couldn't have backtracked much, right?
We said we were going to start a Gaelic football club.
If that's not repenting, I don't know what is.