Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 33 - David Astle and Suren Jayemanne
Episode Date: April 24, 2023Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features David Astle (Radio host, Letters and Numbers, crossword writer, author and... playwright) and comedian Suren Jayemanne!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello, it's the titular Matt Stewart here just letting you know that me and Saranjo Amana are
at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We're on every night. Chinese Museum and then
for the second half of the festival at the Grace Darling Hotel and we'd love to see you there.
Use the discount code DOGOON and we'll see you at the shows. Also in Sydney and Brisbane,
the comedy festivals in both those cities with our show Dry Dry. We'd love to see you at all of those shows. Come to each one. Now, on with the show.
Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week is host of the Evenings Program on ABC Radio, David Astle.
Hey, Matt.
Good to see you.
So good to have you here.
I'm pretty intimidated by your knowledge of everything.
And it took me quite a long time to write this quiz.
I actually Googled one of the answers.
The first question I wanted to ask, what does this word mean?
And I'm like, just on the off chance i'm going to google
the word with david astle and you'd written a blog about it you'd written a whole like a whole
blog about the word so i had to go a bit further afield anyhow our second guest is host of the
benny and serenny podcast it's serenja amana hello very good to be here can i ask matt i've been on
this podcast a number of times have you ever felt felt intimidated by me coming on? Yeah, I nearly never ask questions about
seed allergies. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, which I have written many blogs about.
All right, the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our
contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as
the real one and I have to guess which one is correct.
Are we ready to play?
Yeah, let's do it.
Here's question number one.
It comes from listener Joan from Bristol.
And Joan's question is,
what does the Hindi term backpack mean?
What does the Hindi term backpack mean?
B-A-K, B-A-K.
You should have put my name into Google alongside this.
While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works.
So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant
and another point if you correctly guessed the answer.
And by the way, I'm also playing as the house.
I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question
and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose.
So each of us can score up to two points per round seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins though if you've listened to previous episodes
you'll know that is not necessarily the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon
supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level patreon.com slash two going pod
linked in the show notes. All right.
So the answers are in.
And the question is, what does the Hindi term backpack mean?
The part of a person's body that is on the back of their back.
That is roughly from the collarbone through to the nipples all the way down to their groin region.
Otherwise known as their torso.
The place in your mind you go when feeling nostalgic for your youth.
Idle chit-chat or small talk the listener has no interest in.
A water wheel in an irrigation channel or a hot new dance sweeping the nation.
They're all tantalizing.
Anything jumping out at you?
Well, clearly that's a cry for help.
Someone thinking back and then the back of the back.
That seems like, I mean, if that is the real answer,
that is a piece of brilliant subterfuge because it sounds
completely phony.
It's a wonderfully rich language, Hindi.
Yeah.
Yeah, they have terms for every sort of thing.
I have a feeling it could be the idle chit-chat.
Idle chit-chat?
Which is of no interest to the listener.
Okay.
Because it's sort of reminiscent of this podcast.
And it has a little bit of onomatopoeia to it.
You know, we say murmur, which has the same repetition element to it,
and hubbub again.
Oh, yeah, hubbub.
Yeah, hubbub, back-back, murmur.
Well, whoever did that is ingenious, but that could be the right answer.
But let's not forget there is that, you know,
absolutely red hot dance sweeping.
And in between there's a water wheel and there was one more, wasn't there?
The place you go on your mind when feeling nostalgic.
Oh, yeah, back, back.
Back, back.
Going back, back.
Sometimes you just go back and you're not quite at the nostalgic place.
No.
Yeah.
So you keep going back. And then you go go back and you're not quite at the nostalgic place. No. Yeah. So you keep going back.
And then you go further back.
Back, back, back, which is nice.
You're just sort of in a womb then.
Yeah.
You don't want to go much further back.
No.
No, you don't want to.
No.
I'm going to lock in the dance that's sweeping the nation.
You're changing your answer from idle chit-chat to the dance?
Well, that was just an opportunity to make a joke about this podcast.
So I'm happy to lock in the idle chit-chat.
I'm guessing if there's a nostalgic.
No, sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah, the dance.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm thinking if there was a nostalgic chicken,
that would be a bit of bop, bop, bop, bop.
But I'm going to ignore that state of the mind.
I'm going to go for the idle chit-chat.
I think that's talking to me.
I'll lock that in for Dave.
Let's go through who wrote these answers.
Are the part of the person's back that is on the back of their back?
That was written by Saran Jyamana.
Sorry, Saran.
That's the problem with this show.
You never know who you're having a go at.
It's mostly me. Or it's potentially the with this show. You never know who you're having a go at. It's mostly me.
Or it's potentially the listeners as well
because the listeners will write some of the house.
If they're listening, they understand that this is all just back-back anyway.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, let's hope so.
The place in your mind you go when feeling nostalgic for youth,
that was the house.
A water wheel in an irrigation channel, that was David Astle.
Yeah, come on, Serenity could have gone for that.
I knew that was you as soon as you mentioned it.
Why?
Because you were listing them all and I was like,
I didn't even remember that one.
But you knew it.
Foiled again.
The hot new dance sweeping the nation was also The House.
So a point for The House there.
David, I'm playing as well as The house, so I can get points too.
Okay.
Meaning the correct answer is Idle Chit Chat or Small Talk.
The listener has no interest in it.
Just jumped off it, yeah.
So that means one point for David, one point for the house.
That is a little concerning, Matt, that that's come from a listener.
They really want you to know what Backpack is.
Do you think that's a subtle hint?
Why are they listening then?
Just to taunt me.
Fair enough.
All right, well, that brings us up to question number two.
This one comes from David Malofsky in London Town Baby, as David writes it.
And David's question is,
as seen in the infamous star wars holiday special
what is the full name of chewbacker's father
i did not intend that at all chewback back uh are you a star wars fan david no so i might be
caught out here or this could be you know you know, an advantage. Yeah. I think, well, I think this is obscure even for Star Wars fans.
Okay.
What about you, sir?
Are you a Star Wars fan?
I'm familiar with the original, anything that's canon.
No.
No, I don't know too much.
I remember the big, the movies, but I don't know.
I'm not delving this into the.
They hate, like George Lucas basically is disowned this one.
Oh, really? Yeah. Because it's not canon? was into the they hate like george lucas basically is disowned this one oh really yeah it was i've watched it uh for a do go on episode last year our live christmas one i did the report on this
particular this movie and it was like it was just uh chewbacca style grunts with chewbacca's family
for the first 15 minutes oh my god my God. It was quite bizarre.
I started feeling like I was losing my mind.
So they don't know his dad's name either.
Yeah.
But also, this is slightly unfair because, Serene,
you've appeared in a Marvel film, haven't you?
Yeah.
Which is kind of Star Wars adjacent.
Yeah, well, they're both Disney owned, aren't they?
And that's how you get to appear in a Marvel film,
is being able to list all of the characters.
You don't even audition.
You just go, I know all of the characters.
These are their names.
Sit a little test.
Okay.
So while you're writing your answers,
here's a little bit more information on Backback.
According to Matador Network,
this is used when the listener has no interest
in what the other person or group is chatting about.
The slang Backback is used to describe this this interaction they've given a helpful example here
those boys and girls are doing too much backpack at that table let's head to another bar
that puts it in terms i can understand all right the answers are in here is question number two
as seen in the infamous Star Wars
holiday special,
what is the full
name of Chewbacca's
father?
Truth Vaderic,
Adichitkuk,
Zuchetto,
Munchbacca,
or Fuzzy
Lumberer?
Oh my God.
One of them is
right.
One of them is
right.
Yeah, I might need
you to read through
them again.
Yeah.
Truth Vaderic, Adichitkuk, Zuchetto, Munch Backer, or Fuzzy Lumbra.
Ooh.
Fuzzy Lumbra.
It sounds like a roller derby team.
Yeah.
I guess it could make sense if Backer is like the, that's the family name.
Right.
Yeah.
Sort of keep that.
It could be the surname. Yeah. Maybe his real name is chew yeah yeah it is called it gets called chewy
doesn't it yeah chewy on your boot so that would make sense if it was like munch backer would be
so the family names backer and then the munch could just be a running theme. Munch Becker. Chew Munch.
Chew Munch.
Yeah, yeah, see.
And they like, because a lot of them are pretty silly wordplay.
One of the questions from a while ago was about George Lucas's character
and it was something like.
Director, right?
It was something like not Lucasario or something like that.
It was just sort of like.
So he's in it.
It's real first draft stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
He's actually Chew Becker in the first. Oh, yeah. It's real first draft stuff. Yeah. Yeah, okay. He's actually Chewbacca in the first relation.
It's amazing he was able to write the film with that command of language.
All righty.
Gosh, they're all very on a matter of peak too.
I feel like they sound like a sort of tennis ball stuck in a spin dryer.
Yeah, it's real.
It's totally just having a stab at this point.
Okay.
Chappaquiddick, that one.
Chappaquiddick.
I don't know which one that could be referred to.
That sounds like half of them.
Number two, the second one, Ichipucka.
Added chit-cuck.
Yeah, added chit-cuck.
Okay.
Welcome that in for Seren.
What do you think, David?
You can go the same way.
You can go your own way.
Yeah.
I guess that's the one that sounds the most different.
And the other ones seem to say they're all just stemming out of Chewbacca,
except for that little zucchetto or whatever.
Zucchetto, yeah.
That sounds like an Italian dessert.
It does.
It sounds delicious.
So I might go for added chit-cuck too.
Yeah.
I was really hoping there'd be like a Chewbacca senior or something.
Papa.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
Truth Vaderick was written by David.
Okay, The House.
Zuchetto was written by David.
And I like how you were still just playing it all the way to the end.
I love it when you play beyond.
Soren's already locked in his answer.
Well, Zuchetto, it's an interesting one.
I was trying to get him to switch illusions.
I mean, he's done it already.
He's got form.
Munchbacker was Seren and he did the exact same.
He did.
Bucker, that could be the surname.
I can read you.
Fuzzy Lumberer, that was the house, meaning the correct answer was
Adichitka.
And you both get a point there.
Wow.
Well played.
So that means after two rounds, the scores are the house on one point,
Serena on one point, but out in front it's David on two points.
Pressure.
And I just had a look.
The George Lucas character was nothing like what I said.
Lucas Harrier?
It was Baron Papanoida.
Oh, yeah, that's the first draft, definitely.
Easy.
All right, that takes us to question number three,
which comes from Michael Nielsen from Signet in Tasmania.
Is it Signet?
It is, yeah.
Beautiful spot.
And Michael's question is, which of these is a real species of bird?
So you've just got to come up with a made-up species of bird.
And while you're writing your answers,
I'll let the listeners know a little bit more about Adachitkuk.
Gordon and David, in the holiday special, Adachitkuk is known as Itchy,
but this has since been retconned as a nickname.
Also, Itchy is best known for being a bit of a hornbag. In the special, Itchy uses a fantasy virtual reality machine.
His fantasy is singer Diane Carroll telling him he's adorable over and over and saying stuff like,
I am your pleasure. Experience me. Then she sings a song song one of the show's producers mitzi welch says the
scene was intended to be a soft core porno that would pass the censors i think it only ever got
played once and then uh they buried it but you can you can find it on youtube the answers are in
here's question number three which of these is a real species of. Flightless pip dick, wry neck wanderer,
glassy eyed finch,
Guyana cock of the rock,
or winged rat badger.
Oh my God.
I was just waiting for a bird to come in.
You're definitely budgerigar.
What was the rest?
What the hell?
So there's a genuine bird in there.
There's a genuine bird in there.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
One more time.
Flatless pip-dick, ryan-eck wanderer, glassy-eyed finch,
Guyana cock-of-the-rock or winged rat badger?
I think a pip-dick would definitely be able to fly.
That's what I'm having difficulty with there. Pip-dick sounds quick.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the only thing wrong with that one.
And it's not being weighed down or anything.
So I think it couldn't be number one.
Cock-of-the-rock. Cock-of-the-rock. Yeah, that's the only thing. And it's not being weighed down or anything. So I think it couldn't be number one.
Cock on the Rock.
Cock of the Rock.
Oh.
Yeah, that changes.
Sounds like a franchise, doesn't it?
Yeah.
It's the guy and he's Cock of the Rock.
Don't be confused by imitations.
True.
Yeah, like the Wiggles.
Every country's got their own one.
I think Cock of the Rock. I follow Dwayne Johnson on OnlyFans.
And I was.
Oh, God.
No.
Okay.
So, then in the middle.
Glassy-eyed finch.
Glassy-eyed finch, yes.
Rhinoch wanderer.
And then the winged rat badger.
And then the.
I kind of like that.
The winged rat badger.
A winged rat badger.
Like it so much you're locking it in?
No.
I just like it in? No.
I just like it as an idea.
I have to say, every bird has got wings.
So it's a bit like saying a winged kookaburra.
That's a good point.
But I think what they're demonstrating is that it looks like a rat badger with wings.
Oh, because you wouldn't think many rat badgers would have wings.
No, no, no, no, no.
Not many rat badgers would be birds.
Oh, yes.
All right.
That's a good point.
Also, not many badgers would be rats and not many rats would be badgers.
So it is very confusing.
Nature is mysterious and wonderful.
It's beautiful.
But humankind is devious.
If they came up for a genuine name of a bird in that kind of motley flock,
that's a worry.
Do you have any ideas, David?
I've never been to Guyana and I don't know how rocky it is.
It sounds like a nickname, the Guyanese Cock of the Rock.
It does sound like a nickname.
I'm going to go with it though.
Go with it?
Yeah.
Locking that in for David.
Yeah, I feel like from watching attenborough those uh real like birds
of paradise they often do have titles like that yeah i yeah i don't mind it going he's cock of
the rock yeah going in as well yeah i reckon that whoever sent the question in would be like oh cock
of the rock that's a great idea yeah yeah that's that's one angle that you can try to get to the
bottom of it when you go which one of these would
someone have seen in
Although, I mean, there is also the glassy-eyed finch
because a finch is definitely
a bird. Definitely. And there's heaps of
them. Oh no, there's zebra finches and there's
kookaburras are finches, aren't they?
Oh no, they're kingfishes. They're kingfishes.
Sorry, no.
Are you an ornithologist type?
Twitcher.
Sorry, that was a visual gag.
Well, I love my birds, but I've never heard of any of those,
including a glass-eyed finch, so well done if that's true.
All right, so both looking in.
Yeah, Cock of the Rock.
Cock of the Rock.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. The Flapless Pip Dick was written by Michael.
Okay, The House.
The Rhynek Wanderer was David.
The Glassy-Eyed Finch was Seren.
Jeez, you were keen on that one, weren't you?
The Winged Rat Badger was The House,
meaning the correct answer is the Guyana Cock of the Rock.
Wow.
So points there to David and Seren again.
You're on fire, David.
David has not missed.
You've not missed.
Can we clarify?
Is that a rooster or what is the cock of the rooster?
Oh, can I have a – I mean –
Can you check it out?
Yeah, it's amazing looking bird.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that incredible?
It deserves a better name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's also – that's not a rock.
But when I was talking about David Attenborough,
that's the exact bird I had in my mind.
Right.
I think, yeah, listeners really should look it up.
It's just quite a stunning colour, orange, and it's orange everywhere.
Even its eyes are orange.
But it's got this, I don't know what you'd call it,
but this sort of semi-cell.
It looks like a slice of orange is stuck on its head.
It's a Jefferin drag.
It's an amazing bird.
Beautiful.
So, yeah, Guyana and Cock of the Rock.
But I believe it gets its name because, oh, I'll tell you,
the Guyana and Cock of the Rock is so-called, this is according to Michael,
as it is native to the Guyana countries north of Brazil
and its nesting site of choice is rocky outcrops amidst the rainforest.
Maybe it has a little bit of a rooster crow or some strange crow as well,
something cool.
Right.
It says the male birds are very striking with orange plumage,
beak, skin, irises and crest.
And, yeah, Michael says if you get a chance, it's worth looking up.
And we've done that.
Great tip, Michael.
Fantastic, Michael.
Good question.
So we're up to question four now.
This one comes from Greg from Melbourne.
And the question is, TISM's band members use pseudonyms like Humphrey B.
Flaubert, Ron Hitler Barassi, and Eugene de la Hot Croix-Bun.
What is the pseudonym of their newest member?
And while you're writing your answers, we'll go for a quick break.
All right.
Well, the answers are in for question four.
Tisn band members use pseudonyms like Humphrey B. Flaubert,
Ron Hitler Barassi, and Eugene Delahot Croy Bunn.
What is the pseudonym of their latest member?
Tracy Grim Reapshaw, Ford Lazer Vidovic,
Vladimir Lennon McCartney, Smack My Botticelli,
or Pablo Escobar and Grill?
They are superb.
All of them.
They deserve to be members.
Could you give it another run through, Matt?
Tracy Grim Reapshaw, Ford Laser Vidovic,
Vladimir Lennon McCartney, Smack My Botticelli,
or Pablo Escobar and Grill?
I reckon Smack My Botticelli.
All right, locking that in for Saran.
I reckon a little bit of gender balance.
I'm going to go for Tracy Grimshaw Reaper.
Great.
Tracy Grim Reaper Shaw.
Yes.
Locking that in for David.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
Pablo Escobar and Grill, that was the house.
That was my favourite.
That was great.
As was Ford Laser Vitovic.
I don't know if, does that, I don't think that reference is going to play for many people,
certainly not outside of Melbourne, but he was like a Saints ruckman in the 90s.
You wrote that?
Yeah.
And he went on to be a car salesman.
So it works on at least two levels.
Seized a bit of your DNA in that one.
Tracy Grim Reapshaw, which David went for.
That was written by Saran.
Final.
Saran, I feel for yours.
Final.
And Smack My Botticelli, which Saran went for, David wrote.
Which is fantastic.
Meaning the correct answer is Vladimir Lennon McCartney.
It's a good, it's a very good name.
So that means one point to David, one point to Saran.
David keeps his run up of a point in every round so far,
meaning the scores are now the house on one point,
Saran on three points, but out in front just on four points,
it's David Astle.
I like having David here because the house usually dominates.
Yeah. But David's like rattling along. I like having David here because the house usually dominates. Yeah.
But David's like rattling along.
I mean, I don't normally dominate.
You're giving David the wrong impression here.
Oh.
I'm very wary of inviting people onto a game that I win all the time.
You ever been to the Crown, David?
Better odds at the Crown.
Yeah, I wish there was, you know, the dictionary game right there at Star City.
I'd be up for that.
But I, no. I lose more than I win, I promise you.
Anyway, we're up to question number five.
This one comes from Francis from Victoria who wrote the question.
Francis Ford Laser Video.
Yes.
Francis Ford Laser Video's question is,
serial Guinness World record breaker david rush
earned his 250th record in october of 2022 what was the record for
broken 250 world records what was the the big 250th and uh yeah while you're writing your
answers here's some more info about the new TISM guitarist. According to their fandom page, Wankerpedia, Vladimir Lenin McCartney is the current guitarist of TISM, having joined the band for their reunion in June 2022, filling in the shoes of the late Token Blackman.
His pseudonym is derived from the Russian politician Vladimir Lenin and the Lenin-McCartney songwriting partnership of the Beatles.
Appreciate that explanation.
All right.
The answers are in.
So here is question number five.
Serial Guinness World Record breaker David Rush earned his 250th record in October of
2022.
What was the record for?
He ate 500 cans of baked beans in two hours.
Our furthest distance to blow a pea.
Longest paperclip chain made in one hour.
2.4 Ks.
First person to inflate 13 balloons using nothing but his own farts.
Or wore a top hat nonstop for 72 days, meaning he had to sleep sitting up.
I mean, all of those worthy, worthy of the 250th.
But the guy from the Monopoly game would have beaten that one.
Yeah, he's lived his whole life for that.
Yeah, I mean, he's lived in that.
What's his name?
Something, Moneybags or something?
Moneybags, yeah.
Kind of Moneybags.
I reckon he strikes me as the kind of guy who likes to sleep laying down. Yeah, he's a real. He's a luxurious. Pamp and top. Yeah. Kind of money bags. I reckon he strikes me as the kind of guy who likes to sleep leg down.
Yeah, he's a real pamper type.
Maybe someone blew a pee under his mattress, though,
and he could never get a comfortable sleep.
But I'm wondering if the same record involved eating the baked bean cans
to blow up that balloon.
Yes.
Because, I mean, one would have actually, you know, fed into it.
Well, he could have got the 249th.
Oh, yeah, the 249th and then the 250th and did it back-to-back.
He was on a run.
I'm surprised most world records.
Maybe that's how he blew the piece.
248, 249, 250.
That's right.
It was a trifecta.
A victorious week for David Rush.
Alrighty.
Now, see, I'm playing this game and it's like I'm part
of the Spanish Inquisition because I'm trying to work out,
quite separate from what David Rush's accomplishments are,
how does Soren think?
What is Soren looking at in the room that he's incorporating
into an answer?
Now, maybe he's been trying to pass wind for the past, you know,
10 minutes.
He doesn't strike me as a bloke who even thinks about cans of baked beans,
but that could be the, you know, the curveball.
It's this game of counter-psychology which gets me to not.
Yes, the game within a game.
Yeah.
It's almost like David could tell that the glassy-eyed Finch was because
he was sipping on a glass. He's never really liked glass, I have to admit.
Okay, so we've got the baked beans, blowing the pea,
the longest paperclip chain, inflating the balloons,
or wearing a top hat.
Okay.
Was that 13 balloons from his own?
13 balloons.
Gastric energy.
First person to do it.
Yeah.
I mean, just getting the right connection, I think, would be tricky.
And what constitutes an inflated balloon, too?
Oh, very good point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, does it have to be to full capacity?
Yeah.
I'd hope so.
Guinness.
Yeah.
Because they would have had a Guinness person there.
Yeah. Maybe measuring the circumference. It would also have had a Guinness person there. Yeah.
Maybe measuring the circumference.
It would also imply that someone previously had done 12.
Yes.
Well, no, maybe.
Maybe he was just on a, you know.
Or seven or something.
He just kept going.
You know, I can keep doing this.
I'm also thinking that if he's already, you know, clocked up, what is it, 200 records?
Yeah, 249.
So this is the 250th.
So this is a guy who may not have a whole lot of energy left.
You know, you can't keep giving.
Yeah.
So blowing a P and suddenly being the guy who can blow the P the longest.
That's right.
And also he's the kind of guy who'd probably want to be sleeping lying down.
Yeah.
No, but I reckon that's the kind of record you'd pick for 250
because you'd like running out of ideas.
I feel like these are all running out of ideas.
Oh, really?
Don't you?
Some of these are first choice for you.
Yeah, farts would be high.
Yeah.
I'd go one, baked beans, two farts.
That's clever.
250ps.
You don't want to do it in reverse.
No.
You made a big blue there.
Okay, so I like the top hat.
You like the top hat?
Yeah.
Locking in the top hat for Saran.
This was a lockdown record or a COVID record because you said it was in 2022.
Yes, that's right.
So it can't be one that you could have any social engagement.
So it's all kind of isolated records.
And the baked beans, there was an actual tally in that in two hours.
What was it?
500.
Oh, God.
That also does make sense because maybe he was a hoarder at the start of COVID.
Yeah, he just had to get through, clear up some space.
That does feel like a lot of beans.
It makes 13 farts seem low.
It seems like a wild amount.
You could probably get 26.
The paperclip chain, 2.4 Ks.
Is that long for paperclip?
I would think that's a long, because, yeah, you know,
how long is a paperclip?
Maybe an inch.
And he's got small, he would have to have small hands to do that.
Yeah.
Like knitting them together.
Yeah.
But you see people who can do the Rubik's Cubes and stuff,
they move their hands quicker than I think should be possible.
I saw one recently
where a guy was juggling three rubik's cubes while solving them how's that possible i don't know yeah
that is so you're holding them for a split second moving them i don't understand are you sure they
weren't already solved because they're moving so fast it's a bit of a blur okay i'll have to step
forward on this one and a guy who's very keen to 250, would he be in a top hat for 74 days?
Keep it on.
It seems ridiculous.
Serena has gone for that.
Yeah, I think that feels easy to a guy who's already done 249 records.
Yeah, that's interesting.
But, yeah, David, I guess you're saying that it's quite a time-consuming one.
Time-consuming one.
So I'm actually going to go for the P.
I think he's a big unit.
I think he's got some war-rushed lungs.
And I think he's going to blow that.
How far was it?
Just the furthest distance ever.
Oh, okay.
Well, let's go through who wrote the answers.
He ate 500 cans of baked beans in two hours.
That was written by Francis, the questioner.
Okay, the house. The longest paperclip chain made in an hour, 2. in two hours. That was written by Francis, the question writer. Okay, the house.
The longest paperclip chain made in an hour, 2.4 Ks.
That was David.
I feel like that one feels like something like that's been done, I reckon.
David, how long is 2.4 Ks?
It was sadly neglected by Serene.
You didn't give that any focus at all.
Yeah, it was interesting.
I think I'll fall for Saranth here.
First person to inflate 13 balloons using nothing but his own farts,
that was Saranth.
Oh, okay.
So maybe it's the top hat.
The top hat one, that was the house.
Oh, really?
Meaning the correct answer was furthest distance to blow a pea.
David, again, you are on fire.
Have you ever had anyone that's gone through
every round
I don't think so
okay let's call up
Guinness World Records
yeah give me some balloons
I feel like I'm on a streak
so that now means
the score's a
house on two
Saran on three
but building the lead
on five points
it's David Astle
two questions to go
question six comes from Harris from Address Unknown.
Mysterious man, Harris.
And Harris's question is, what occurred on July the 6th, 1809?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Solid eclipse.
That takes me back, back.
Yeah.
What occurred on July the 6th, 1809?
So you think it's idle chatter?
Surely.
I mean, I should say of significance.
Probably quite a few things occurred on that day.
I reckon a few things, yeah.
Say the date one more time, sir.
July the 6th, 1809.
I reckon Mrs. Muir made a cup of tea for sure.
Oh, I mean, I can't debunk it.
So I'm going to have to give David the point there.
While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about the P record.
According to UPI.com, serial record breaker David Rush
and his 250th Guinness World Records title
when he used the breath in his lungs to blow a P a distance of 84 feet and 11.28 inches across a level floor.
Rush, who made headlines for breaking 52 records in 52 weeks in 2021,
first held the same record years earlier when he blew a pea 24 feet and 7.6 inches.
The record was broken at least three times in the ensuing years before Rush recaptured the
title. What a man
satisfying. So I'm reading that like
that's in one breath. That's
incredible. 84 feet.
He's from Boise, Idaho.
Spud country. He is.
Yeah. What
record would you be tempted to try and break, Matt?
Yeah, that's tricky because I
think anything that you love, doing a record,
breaking a man of it would ruin it. I think it would. You know, I like having a nice
beer, but having too many of them is not fun at all. Yeah.
Actually, I think there was a record
for playing Scrabble non-stop.
I think Scrabble's hard enough.
You don't want to just, imagine just playing it in this bleary sort of sleep mode.
Yeah.
And I think you're right.
We're drawing the love.
I don't think you'd want to play again.
No, you wouldn't.
Oh, the answers are in.
So here we go with our penultimate question.
Number six.
What occurred on the 6th of july 1809
backgammon was invented french troops under the order of napoleon bonaparte arrested the pope
newly inaugurated u.s president james madison met his vice president george clinton for the
first time in their respective george clinton and the parliament funkadelic yeah is that
is that who he's named after is that i don't know i didn't know he was the ex-congressman in their respective journals. George Clinton. And the Parliament Funkadelic. Yeah.
Is that who he's named after?
I don't know.
I didn't know he was an ex-Congressman.
In their respective journals, they coincidentally called each other the wrongest person for the job.
Frenchman Gustave Camille became the first Frenchman to read an English novel.
An explosion occurred at a chocolate factory,
briefly making the surrounding London boroughs delicious,
thus triggering the 1809 Licking Riot.
A bliss bomb.
So you've got backgammon, Pope being arrested,
the two presidents finding each other wrong,
Gustav Camille reading a book, or a chocolate explosion.
Well done, Gustav.
I think there's some details, more details than just reading a book.
The first English novel.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't see that as being newsworthy.
You know, guy read a book, man reads book.
It's something out of The Onion.
In today's day and age, I think it would be newsworthy.
Yeah, maybe it is.
Maybe it's newsworthy now.
Probably not in 1809.
Oh, that 24-hour cycle.
You know, they're always searching for something, aren't they?
Okay.
You've got the wrongest person ever.
You've got the Pope, backgammon.
You've got the chocolate explosion. And then you've got the wrongest person ever. You've got the Pope, backgammon. You've got the chocolate explosion.
And then you've got man reads novel.
In Frenchman reading.
Oh, right, all right.
Yeah, yeah.
The first Frenchman.
To read an English novel.
All right.
I like Napoleon just busting down the Vatican gates
and putting that pontiff in shackles.
Yeah, it's an interesting scenario.
It's a good scene.
It's a wild time.
Yeah.
Do you know, I like it too, but I think I'm pretty sure Gustav Camille
would not have been there on that day.
Yeah.
Because he was too busy reading in English.
He would have put his book down.
He could have been playing backgammon.
True.
Backgammon must be thousands of years old.
And also too, as if there's a moment where backgammon's invented, like, oh, I'm going to invent backgammon. Backgammon must be thousands of years old. And also, too, as if there's a moment where Backgammon's invented,
like, oh, I'm going to invent Backgammon.
Yeah.
Do you think that one might have evolved?
It could have been.
It could have been someone writing in their diary.
Totally bogus.
I think it would take more than a day as well.
Yeah.
Wouldn't be July 6th.
And Shakespeare would have played Backgammon.
And, you know, that's 200 years before then.
He also would have written an English novel.
It's true.
But would he have read it?
He's not a Frenchman.
I reckon.
The chocolate one sounds too extreme.
So I'm going to lock in Arresting the Pope.
Okay.
The explosion is too extreme.
The reading the book, not extreme enough.
Yeah.
The perfect middle ground.
Is arresting the Pope.
Because back then they didn't have the Pope with Bill.
So you could get easy access.
Eight out of nine, if those dates are right,
which I think they're kind of close to the Napoleon,
it's a smart draft whoever came up with that,
if it's not the right answer.
All right.
Well, let's go through
who wrote the answers uh backgammon being invented that was david yeah and you really turned on
yourself i suddenly realized what a wrong answer that was you know it was the wrongest answer
even shakespeare would have played james madison meeting Madison meeting George Clinton and describing each other
as the wrongest person for the job.
That was written by Harris, okay, of the house.
Then we had Frenchman Gustave Camille reading a book.
That was Soren.
You went the other way.
You were very defensive of your answer.
David wanted nothing to do with it.
A lot of table talk about our answers.
If you mention any answer, I'm not going to...
And same applies here, sir.
The explosion at the chocolate factory, that was the house,
meaning the correct answer.
You both were right.
French troops under orders of Napoleon Bonaparte arrested the Pope.
That's a good story.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
I'd like to know more.
I'd just like to point out Napoleon could have spent his time a lot better
as a Frenchman.
Yeah. He could have been reading English. He could have spent his time a lot better as a Frenchman. Yeah.
He could have been reading English novels.
He could have been blowing a pee down the shop aloozo.
That's the real Arc de Triomphe, I think.
All right, well, that brings us to the final question,
which is worth triple points.
Oh, yeah.
Here we go.
So, you know, it's still anyone's game.
Anyone's game.
But you both got a point there, meaning the scores are now House on two points,
Saran on four points, but down front, David on six points.
It's yours to lose.
Yeah.
But you could lose.
I could lose.
That's the beauty of the game.
Anyone could get six points here.
So, even the House could come from the clouds.
If you both pick a House answer.
So, here is the final question. from brandy broyhill in greensboro north carolina and brandy's question is we always finish with a film synopsis question brandy's question is what
is the synopsis of the 1992 film the buttercream gang what is the synopsis of the 1992 film The Buttercream Gang. What is the synopsis of the 1992 film The Buttercream Gang?
So this will be your longest answer.
Okay, so not bad gamut invented?
Yeah, it's normally like a short paragraph basically.
Okay.
And while your answers are being written,
here's some more information about the Pope arrest.
According to Harris, Napoleon Bonaparte arrested Pope Pius VII
as part of a longstanding feud with the Catholic Church.
He'd previously arrested Pope Pius VI, who had died in captivity,
but Pope Pius VII lived throughout his incarceration and returned to Rome five years later.
According to History.com, despite his desire to control Europe without rival,
Napoleon understood that he needed to reach an accommodation with the all-powerful Catholic Church.
was the religion of the great majority of the French people,
but simultaneously limited the size of the French clergy and bound its members tightly to the French state,
which would henceforth pay their salaries.
The agreement strictly constrained the Pope's authority in France
and approved of the revolutionary government
selling off of the Catholic Church's vast land holdings in France.
Even with all the Church's concessions,
Napoleon still looked for ways to prove his dominance, and his opulent coronation in Notre Dame Cathedral in 1804
provided a perfect stage to humiliate Pius VII. Pontiffs traditionally crowned the Holy Roman
Emperor, but to show the Pope who was really in charge now, Napoleon took the crown from his hands
and placed it on his own head. After the coronation, the church's uneasy pact with Napoleon deteriorated further as the emperor's
expansionist tendencies grew. Still Pius VII made efforts to mollify Napoleon, participating for
example in France's continental blockade of Great Britain over the objections of his secretary of
state, Consalvi, who was forced to resign. The Pope's acquiescence would not save him, however.
And then on June the 10th, 1809,
Napoleon once again invaded the Papal States, arresting the Pope.
All right, answers are in.
So here's the final question.
Everything's on the line here.
This is good.
I can tell that you're both getting a little nervy.
I'm all ears.
I'm just locked into this.
So the question is, what's the synopsis of the 1992 film The Buttercream Gang?
A group of Amish women band together to create the tastiest buttercream
when they are challenged by a neighbouring non-Amish village.
If they lose, their town will have to accept the modernisation of the area,
including a new state-of-the-art dairy farm.
But if they win,
they get a year's supply of milk from the other village.
While working towards their goal,
the women find friendships, frustration and even love.
It's long.
A group of junior high school nerds
had organised to steal all the ice cream
from the local ice cream parlour
owned by the school bully's family.
They end up getting locked inside for the night.
A small township meets its darkest days when a ravenous posse of youngsters begin carrying out dawn raids on the town patisseries.
Known as the Buttercream Gang, the hooligans will stop at nothing.
gang the hooligans will stop at nothing in response a ragtag group of normally fierce competitors from the baking industry form the crumbly dozen a vigilante team of pastry chefs
tasked with the responsibility of bringing the buttercream gang to its heels unlike most gangs
oh still going oh this is the next one all right sorry so that's okay the crumbly gang so we've
had the the amish we've had the thes, we've had the Crumbly Gang.
Right.
The next one.
Unlike most gangs, the Buttercream Gang is a group of do-gooders.
Pete, their leader, temporarily moves to Chicago with his aunt.
While there, he falls into a bad crowd and is changed upon returning.
But the remaining members of the gang, especially their new leader, Scott,
refuse to give up on their friend.
Or finally, the buttercream gang
loves to sneak on a dairy farm
to steal delicious fresh dairy products.
They are getting older though,
so they commit to one last big heist.
Unfortunately, something goes wrong
and a comedy of errors
leads to all the cows being poisoned.
They need to find another species of animal to milk
and they need to find it quick.
That's when one of them spots a raccoon and a new
industry is born.
Tragically, one of those is right.
Honestly.
1992 is golden age
in cinema. Can't believe I haven't caught
this one. Even on the
streaming services. It's rare that the
movie we end on is a
classic.
Yeah.
Blimey, they were
all very unwinded.
So you've got the
Amish women having
to save their, you
know, their way of
life.
The nerds doing an
ice cream, getting
locked in the ice
cream parlour, the
bullies' families'
ice cream parlour.
You've got the
two gangs, the buttercream gang and the Crumbly Dozen.
Surely that would be the Bakers Dozen.
A real missed opportunity there.
Yeah, they missed that one.
Then you've had Pete, the leader of the Buttercream Gang, the Do-Gooders.
He went away, turned bad, came back.
Then Scott was there.
And Scott was there.
Yeah.
And they didn't give up on him.
Yeah.
Or Raccoon Milking.
And Scott was there and they didn't give up on him.
Yeah.
Or raccoon milking.
That one was almost convincing until the raccoon walked in.
Can you get raccoon milk?
I don't get camel milk, so why not raccoons?
It didn't say how long the industry lasted.
It just said how new the industry was born.
I'm trying to think about three-act structure.
Yeah. I feel like the butter about three-act structure. Yeah.
I feel like the buttercream, the nerds, buttercream is more, I reckon,
in the baking world than the ice cream world.
Okay.
So I'm going to scratch that.
The Amish one, oddly enough,
it does feel like there's three acts in that story.
Which one was that?
The Amish one.
Amish one?
Because, you know, they find love along the way.
They find friendships, frustration and even love. Yeah, and even love, which is a nice.
What is?
I have no idea what buttercream is.
So it's a baking thing, is it?
I reckon I've only ever had buttercream ice cream.
Oh, maybe I'm wrong.
I thought buttercream was the stuff on top of, like, muffins.
No.
Well, I'm not sure.
I mean, that's what a churn is used for isn't
so that's why the amish one's plausible but because they're all yeah they're all oh there's
the bakery one and then the rest are kind of dairy aren't they um uh yeah but i guess it could be both
i'm thinking like a pastry cream oh yeah right i'm not a baker i should i shouldn't say that straight off the top but you
are crumbly he's flaky yes very flaky um what gets me though is that in that uh patisserie
synopsis um if oh no maybe it's the other one the characters get name checked i mean why the
hell would you worry that you know it's pete and and it's Scott? Pete and Scott. Who cares what their name is?
I just find that a little bit superfluous.
Yeah, that does stand out a bit.
It is.
It's funny because over the weeks there'll be ones with names
and ones that aren't.
And sometimes the real ones are the ones with names.
Okay.
But it used to stand out to me as well.
But often these are just pulled from IMDB or whatever.
I reckon that's where you're expecting Buttercream Gang to go like sequels.
Yeah.
So you're trying to build characters that people have an emotional connection to.
So you're either a Scott or a Pete kind of guy.
Exactly.
And I don't know if you know this, David, but just last weekend they released Buttercream
Gang 4.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I really am new to this.
Return of the Cream.
Yeah.
Secret of the Cream. Oh. Secret of the cream.
Oh, this is a tricky one.
I mean, I think these would all make fantastic movies.
Yeah, they would.
Yeah.
I hope Hollywood's listening.
Yeah.
Because I like that.
1992 seems early for a sort of Breaking Bad type tale,
the anti-hero tale.
But it could have set the scene for Walter White.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And maybe that's the inspiration for the name.
Yeah.
White.
Yeah, Wonder White.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm also thinking that a gang that does good deeds is a nice plot twist.
Yes.
Because when you think gang, you always think negative.
Yes.
You know, the stealing and the poisoning and all the rest of it.
So that does stand out for that reason too.
It's a fresh take.
However, I'm going to vote first so you can bounce off mine.
I'm going to go for the Amish or the Amish because I think,
I think Soren's right.
If he came up with the three acts, that's to his credit
because it is a story with three acts.
And I also reckon that is a very plausible movie,
so it should be made if it hasn't already.
My only question about the Amish or Amish,
is how you pronounce Amish.
My only question is if...
Well, I'm farmished.
For some reason in my head I have this thing that maybe dairy is not,
but it's machinery, isn't it?
You're not meant to use.
Oh.
Yeah.
So I like it too.
I think.
Oh, hang on.
If this is the house, the house is going to end up winning.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
That's a great technique to throw at you.
Strategic voting.
Yeah.
I'd be happy for the house to beat, David.
That's fair enough.
Now, I reckon it's the Scotty Cam one.
Scott and Pete?
Yeah, Scott and Pete.
All right, I'm locking that in.
So, yeah, that's with the do-gooder gang twist.
Yeah, the gang gone bad.
The gang leader gone bad.
That's also got three acts in it, I reckon.
Well, that's, yeah, obviously.
Because you know what else goes bad?
The second act is the Chicago with the arm.
Buttercream.
If you leave it out, it will go bad.
It turns.
Plot twist. All right, let's go through who with the ant. Buttercream. If you leave it out, it will go bad. It turns. Plot twist.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
The raccoon milking industry, that was the house.
Brandy wrote one that was a lot more believable.
I added the raccoon thing at the end.
Brandy's cursing your name.
Because I think, like you said, it was pretty believable to the end.
Well, that was my work.
I thought it was too well written.
And I thought that would be unfair.
What do you want me to do with him?
Then we had the small township meeting its darkest days
and the crumbly dozen getting involved.
That was Saran.
Now, are you kicking yourself missing the bacon dozen?
I thought I had to, I went there and then I added an extra layer.
There's layer upon layer.
You've got to keep it simple for the common folk.
The group of high school nerds that get locked up in the ice cream parlour.
That was David Astle.
Yeah, I should have come up with a third act on that.
Yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
That's all I, yeah.
This film's only got two acts?
I've never thought of the third act part.
Now that could be a real game changer.
I also loved how Matt talked up, you know, the buttercream, ice cream.
I was like, yep, like a little bit of ally ship there.
Yeah, that was partisan because you also were like,
well, crumbly dozens a bit stupid, isn't it?
They should have gone with the bakers.
No, I thought it was fantastic.
Well, yeah, I was saying they though.
See, I'm still playing it for its realness.
True, true, true.
I didn't say you, Seren.
That would have been.
Seren should have thought twice.
I like the suspense here, though, because we're both still in the game.
We are.
Still in the game.
And, in fact, one of you is correct.
The Amish women or the.
Scott and Pete.
Scott and Pete.
And the correct answer is Scott and Pete.
Oh, Serene.
The Amish one was written by Brandy.
Brandy.
I didn't toy with it.
And that's why it was selected.
It's a really good plot.
It is.
I would watch that film over the one that I picked.
Nice work, Brandy.
Brandy Cream.
Just quickly before we do a score update,
Brandy wrote that this film was made by a predominantly Mormon
entertainment group.
It has strong values and was a great movie for kids to watch.
That's how I saw it back in elementary school.
Though rated pretty low, I remember really enjoying it as a child.
That's so sweet.
That's funny because, you know, like critics will always,
they'll tear shreds off a lot of kids' movies and kids are like,
oh, I liked it.
Yeah.
I wonder who's it for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, let's go.
Kids aren't thinking about three-act structure.
That's right.
Here are the scores.
It ended up tightening right up at the end.
On five points, still coming last, was The House.
In second place on six points, it was David.
But out in front on seven points, Saran.
We did it.
Your first ever victory.
What a storming finish, Saran.
And to beat one of the, you know, the only guys to get a point every round.
That's right.
All the way up to the last round.
The last round.
Strongest players ever.
Tripled.
Yeah, suddenly I just, I had the yips.
You know what this reminds me of?
This reminds me of the time that I was on Celebrity Letters and Numbers
and it was very reminiscent of when Merrick was out way ahead
and then whatever that, what's that last one called?
Conundrum.
Conundrum.
You ruled me right in.
Yeah, there you go.
Oh, yeah, for the internationalists, David also is one of the hosts on Letters and Numbers,
which is our version of the English countdown.
Eight out of ten cats.
That's right.
And Serene was a contestant and a very fine one, too.
Yeah, is that episode aired?
That was the very first episode.
So people can find it on SBS On Demand, probably.
They could.
If you go on YouTube, you can find it.
Yeah.
Which I don't know if it's meant to be there.
But the comments are very enjoyable.
Okay.
Because you get the 8 out of 10 Cats fans who are comedy fans
and then you get the Countdown fans.
And neither of them are happy.
No.
That's right.
We've really split the middle.
You can't please all cats.
In fact, it doesn't seem like you can please anything.
So where can people find you, Seren?
This will be coming out after the festival.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Saran Comedy on Instagram is where I'm most active.
Are you heading up to the Sydney Comedy Festival?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'll be at Sydney Comedy Festival at the Factory Theatre
March 4th, 5th and 7th.
Awesome.
Check them out.
And, David, you're on the radio Monday to Thursday in Melbourne
and sometimes Tasmania?
Sometimes Tassie, sometimes WA, but you can catch up on the show,
on the evening show on ABC Melbourne Victoria through the ABC Listen app
or just through the ABC Melbourne radio website.
And are you still doing the crosswords?
Yeah.
Don't attempt?
I'm the DA on the Friday crossword in The Age and the Sydney Morning Herald.
And I was reading you've got some celebrity admirers
of your crosswords.
A lot of musicians, funnily enough.
I think there is a real correlation between musician, songwriting
and I guess the concision of a cryptic clue,
which in a way is like a tight lyric and often there's a subtext
which a good song has.
And the whole pattern recognition of
letters is very similar to recognizing the um array of a sweet melody so i think musicians
i've got a lot of musicians who kind of dig my stuff which is funny have you have you ever
been listening to songs and been like that's one of my clues i actually do really love weaving in, I think, Sarah Blasco, actually.
I put her surname in because if you look at the even letters of Blasco,
which are L, S, and O, there's no word from the dictionary that fits that.
There's a plasticine character from the 60s called Plasmo
that no one remembers.
Oh, Plasmo.
Yeah.
Then there's Glosso, which is Latin for tongue,
and that wasn't going to win any hearts.
Then I thought, well, Blasco fits.
So I put Blasco in as the answer because it was a very tight corner
and it had to fit that pattern.
And I was bumped into Darren Hanlon, who's a crossword fan and a musician,
and Darren said to me, oh, you'll never believe this.
But when Sarah saw that in the crossword, she said,
to hell with opening the Commonwealth Games,
to hell with three ARIA awards.
This is my career highlight right here.
That is amazing.
Yeah.
My career highlight was this podcast, but age to their own.
And if people want to find those crosswords,
it's in the Sydney Morning Herald and The Age on Fridays.
On Fridays, yeah.
Awesome.
So good.
So great to have you both in.
We're doing this show live, when I say where, I mean me,
at Brisbane at the Brisbane Comedy Festival on the 14th of May,
and you can get tickets now.
Thanks so much for joining us, and thanks, everyone,
for tuning in to
Who Knew It With Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been
Matt Stewart. Goodbye.
You sent one through? Yeah.
Well, I hope I sent it to you. I sent it to a guy
called Matt.
Actually, it might have been the wrong Matt.
Just wanted you to know, Matt Stone from South Park,
a backpack in here means.
You got Matt Stone's number?
I was trying to think of a Matt that Dave would know,
and I don't know why.
Matt Cleary's listening.
Sorry, mate.
I didn't mean to send you that cotton wrap.
Shervo?
Do you know Shervo?
I think about this all the time with the Wu-Tang Clan.
Yeah.
Because I think the two original guys,
they picked Jizza and Rizza.
Yeah.
And then after that, there's like Ghostface Killer
and all these great names.
Yeah, that's true.
And it would be, oh, can I get another go?
I'm also thinking, you reckon there was a steering committee,
you know, when the new member said, look, I've got a couple of options.
Yeah, surely there's.
Show of hands.
I thought we were all just going to put ZA at the end of our first initial.
That's what I thought we'd agreed.
Yeah.