Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 40 - Jess Perkins and Damian Cowell (TISM/Disco Machine)

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features musician Damian Cowell (TISM, Root!, the DC3, Damian Cowell's Disco Machine) and comedian Jess Perkins (triple J, Do Go On podcast)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Jess' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. And our very first guest this week is host of The Weekend Arvos on Triple J and the Do Go On podcast. It's Jess Perkins. Oh.

Always start my own applause. Hello. Well, that's your trademark. Yeah. Self-applausing. That's right. You got to. Our second guest on the show this week is here for the first time.

You may know him from bands like Disco Machine, Root, the DC3 Antismas, Damien Cowell. So I'm like the people on Graham Norton who clap when they get introduced. Yes. That's what you do now, isn't it? I think so. I think it's polite. Right.

Well, it only happens when Jess is on. But still. I've clapped for myself Yeah I think it adds a little vibe to the room Yeah and I think if you have a problem with that It's just a classic case of tall poppy syndrome And you're just not enjoying Seeing a person

You know be proud of themselves I have turned up to this studio today And that was very brave of me Okay So I deserve applause Yeah no I think that's fair enough Like American listeners will be like yeah of course today and that was very brave of me. Okay. So I deserve applause. Yeah, no, I think that's fair enough. Like American listeners will be like, yeah, of course.

Of course. We applaud ourselves when we enter any room. That's right. But in Australia, it's a bit of a faux pas. Exactly right. But I'm changing that. You are. One podcast at a time.

Tall potty syndrome. Is that anything? I do edit. I will edit that out. That might go in right at the end. I put in some of the dog shit riffs at the back and Damien. So, yeah. Well, for the true believers. I'll have to get used to that, Jess.

I'm probably not very good at it. I'm that sort of self-deprecating loser type that claps when they leave the room. But, yeah, I can understand. It's fair enough. It's just, you know, it's a shift I'm working on. Enough people out there who hate you, you might as well love yourself that's right that's nice that's beautiful and that definitely gives me something to think about late at night yes there's so many people that hate me yeah there's a lot of people that hate you jess perkins i mean you'd know that from

the triple j text line of course absolutely they love you. So, the way this show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct. Are we ready to play? Sure. Yes. This comes from listener Marissa Stroud from Stroud, Ontario in Canada.

What? Wait, is that a coincidence? Or do you live in a place named after you? You can't answer now, but maybe in the future. Please let us know. Please, Marissa. Marissa's question is, what is the meaning of the word caneering? Caneering.

What is the meaning of the word caneering? Caneering. Right. Can I have it in a sentence? Yes. What is the meaning of the word caneering? I was trying to trick him. So, while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. have it in a sentence. Yes. What is the meaning of the word kineering? I was trying to trick him.

So while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I put into my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house always, though. If you've been listening over the last few months, you'll know I'm on a pretty brutal dry spell. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod linked in the show notes. All right, here's question number one.

What is the meaning of the word caneering? Carrying a canoe or kayak over rough terrain to reach a new body of water. Oh, caneering. When an actor in a play or film is very convincingly playing an arsehole character, despite having a reputation for being quite a nice person in real life. To become manager of AFC Wimbledon, a tradition in the southern United States, not unlike a family reunion where you gather with kin far from you and kin near you. Or taking a sneaky photo of someone, usually a celebrity, without looking through the viewfinder so as not to be noticed. Oh.

That's sneaky. Have you ever been kinneared in that way? Well, I mean, I don't know. Oh, of course. Because they haven't looked through the viewfinder. So, I don't know. Anything jumping out at you here? Well, there's only two that aren't stupid.

Well, it's a toss of a coin, I reckon. I mean, often the answers are. The stupid one often wins. Yes. Sometimes. What are the ones that aren't stupid to you? It's a pretty stupid game in that way. So I wouldn't let them, I wouldn't rule them out based on that alone.

I reckon that one that sounded like sort of upskirting, that one sounded believable. Celebrity side skirting. Yeah. And the other one I thought was the actor one Yes So you're tossing them between those two What was the first one?

It was like carrying a canoe or something The first one was carrying a canoe or kayak Cuneering Rough terrain Talking so hard I don't know why would that have its own word Because you go canoeing But cuneering feels like just something Why would that have its own word? You know, because like you go canoeing.

But caneering feels like just something that you'd have to do between canoeing spots, you know? Why would it do it? You wouldn't go to do it. No, I don't think you'd go to do it. That's not the main activity. But maybe people in the kayak community might just have lingo for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the bits and pieces.

It's when the canoe goes to the left or to the right we're canering paddling so hard on the right we're canering left yes just so you want to offer that as your answer yeah i only thought about it yep well okay despite me picking holes in it i'm gonna choose to choose carrying a canoe. Okay. I don't think it's true. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see.

It's exciting. Damien, what are you thinking? I'll go actor. Actor. No worries. Lock that in. Here's who wrote the answers. To become manager of AFC Wimbledon.

That was DC, Damien Cowell. Now, I'm guessing that the manager is named Kinnear. Would that be right? That's correct, but probably not spelt the same way. Is Kinnearing with a C? No, with a K. Oh, okay. So, it was, yeah. So, Joe Kinnear was the, I sound like I have knowledge about ridiculous things, and it's true, but only one, which is english football in the 70s right so joe kinnear was the manager of wimbledon afc known as the crazy gang um the crazy gang yes can we just

say as well that joe kinnear is a really fun name yeah joe hey i'm joking here yeah so that could be the name of like a real cheesy comedian's album'm joking here. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. Or, no, no, it's good stuff. Then we had the tradition from the southern United States, not unlike a family reunion, where you gather kin far from you and kin near to you. That is so funny. That was Marissa. Marissa, that is so funny.

That is really good. If that had been you, Matt, I think I would have said retire. You're done. Oh, really? You've clocked comedy. That's good enough. Look, I punched it up a little bit. All right.

I want to get in on that a little bit. Carrying a canoe or kayak over rough terrain. That was also Marissa. God damn, Marissa. You got me. When an actor in a play or film is very convincingly playing an asshole character. That was also Marissa. God damn, Marissa. You got me. When an actor in a play or film is very convincingly playing an arsehole character, that was Jess Perkins. Caneer.

Greg Caneer. Suck me right in. Meaning the correct answer is taking a sneaky photo of someone, usually a celebrity, without looking through the viewfinder so as not to be noticed. And that was named after someone doing that to Greg Kenear. No way. It was, yes.

Kenearing. So you're right on the right track there. So that means at one point to the house. So what, just like holding a camera? Yeah, sort of just like. I'll explain more to the listeners in a second. Great. While you're writing your answer for question number two,

which comes from Nicholas Pena from Tolleson in Arizona. And the question is, why did outsider musician Daniel Johnston make the news in March of 1990? March of 1990. Why did outsider musician Daniel Johnston make the news in March of 1990? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on caneering. According to Marissa, the word caneing was coined by popular knit blogger and author Stephanie Pearl McPhee, aka the Yarn Harlot. This was in 2007.

In the Toronto airport, preparing to begin her latest book tour, she spotted Greg Canier in the line ahead of her. Excited, but trying to be cool, she later recounted, maybe I'll take his picture from far away. Yeah, no, that's creepy i know i'll take my camera out of my purse and just sort of hang my hand down and look a little casual and not even look at him and take his picture in secret this resulted in a series of slightly blurry photos of his elbow and luggage after the blog post featuring this encounter was published

it became a mini sensation with talk show hosts such as as Conan O'Brien and Graham Norton bringing it up during interviews with Greg Kinnear. The word Kinnearing has been turned into a verb and immortalised as a new word in the New York Times and Urban Dictionary. In 2009, however, Stephanie acknowledged that the notoriety brought by coining this new word was a double-edged sword, saying, Ever since I invented Kinnearing, I've been Kinneared within an inch of my life. I've been Kinneared at the grocery store, the airport at yarn shops on the bus and my book signings at speaking engagements in bookstores at festivals everywhere and all of this has resulted in a plethora of horrendous images of myself plastered all over the internet images

that once seen i have to carry in my heart forever now i don't blame people i really don't was my idea. I thought it was funny to do to Greg, and it's both funny and flattering when it's done to me. I've accepted that if you invent kineering, then it's only fair to have an odd slanted photo of my ass at the post office in a pair of baggy yoga pants emailed to me. I like how she's very zen about it all.

She's a big deal in the yarn community. That's where you want to be a big deal. Yeah, like book tours and stuff. The Yarn Harlot. Wow. How about it? The Yarn Harlot. The Yarn Harlot.

You familiar with her work? No, no. I'm more into people who twist balloons into interesting shapes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's far more important. All right, your answers are in for question number two. Why did outsider musician Daniel Johnston make the news in March of 1990? He wrote a number one song for Tina Arena.

He was one of the first people to drive a car with both driver and passenger airbags in america he performed an 18 minute guitar solo while standing on top of a local petrol station he caused a plane crash when he threw the keys out of the window because he thought he was casper the friendly ghost or he entered a competitive eating contest where you had to catch and eat as many live frogs as you could in an hour. He won with a score of two and a half. So outside a musician. Yeah.

And one of them has something to do with music. Oh, no, two of them. Oh, that's a bit rough on Tina Arena. I think she has something to do with music, doesn't she? So road to number one hit for Tina Arena. Yep. Drove a car that had airbags. Yep.

It's big news. The first- Can you explain that one? Oh, was it the first car with two airbags? One of the first people to drive a car with both driver and passenger airbags in America. Right. It was a big deal in 1990.

Must have been a slow day, that one. Then the 18-minute guitar solo standing on top of the petrol station caused a plane crash, throwing the keys out the window because he thought it was cast with a friendly ghost or entered a competitive eating contest having to catch live frogs. Plane crash. Plane crash. Bang.

Frogs. Frogs. Are you a fan? Because I know you do like a bit of outsider music, is that right? Sort of. I mean, I like the idea of it. Yeah, yeah, I like the idea of it, but, you know, listening to it, it's probably going a bit far. It's, I like that sort of, I like the fact that people are all sort of dancing around their own hastily discarded underpants, trying not to assume that it's just some dickhead who can't play an instrument. Yeah.

That's what I like about outside of music. Yeah. It's like, oh, this, you know, could be art. Yeah. Is it? Any sound is art. That's right. It's the intention of the artist that makes it art.

Just worried about getting tripped up by it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, but fuck outside of music. Give me Bon Jovi any day. We did a – our other podcast, Dugong, we did an episode about a band called The Shags last month.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to win – there was a triple R show, it makes me very old now, but it used to be a guy called Jeff King who would have the worst song every year, like a hottest 100. Oh, great. But the worst song and the shags would always win.

Right. Wow. With My Pal Foot Foot maybe. Yeah, yeah. That was the hardest thing I've ever listened to. Okay, it grew on me really quickly. Other songs of theirs, there was another one that I was like, oh, yeah, okay, I guess it is kind of making sense.

That one infuriated me. I think like The Shags, Kurt Cobain was a fan of them, but also a fan of Daniel Johnston. Right. He's a big fan of outsider music. Right. I think Frank Zappa loved The Shags as well, and you wonder how much of it is I like a thing

that no one else likes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's pretty cool either way. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Are we up to that bit? I got distracted. Yes.

Yeah, we've locked in our answers. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. He wrote a number one song for Tina Arena. That was Damien. That's good. Almost believable. Yeah. Sort of.

Yeah, maybe Sweet Sorrento Moon, something like that. Yeah. I'm in Chains. Baby, baby, I'm in Chains. Yeah. I think I might be running out of examples. But I found it via comedian Bronwyn Cuss. She has a long bit she did at the last year's gala.

Well, this year's gala about how Tina Arena's real name is Pina Arena. Oh, really? Like her first name is actually Pina. Right. I knew a family in Springvale who were the Spina family, and the girls all went to the Catholic school where my mum was the secretary. I'll eventually get to the point. And they were called Tina, Lena, Nina and Gina.

Whoa. Spina. That, okay. That's fantastic. Oh, my God. Such a musical family. That's fun. Was that a fun family?

Yeah, probably. Probably. I guess. Yeah. Does it sound like a, you know. Pina Arena, Gina, Tina, Lena, Spina. They must have been big Tina fans. Yeah. Surely. Surely. Yeah. I mean sound like a, you know. Pina Arena? Gina, Tina, Lena, Spina. They must have been big Tina fans. Yeah.

Surely. Surely. I mean, who wasn't? Who isn't? Even better. He was one of the first people to drive a car with both driver and passenger airbags in America. That was Nicholas and the house.

We collaborated there. Yeah, nice. That took two people to write. Yeah, I could tell. That was a real answer by committee, I think. He performed an 18-minute guitar solo while standing on top of a local petrol station. That was Jess Perkins.

Music related. Just shredding. Just shredding for 18 minutes. But as an American, it would have been called a gas station. Well, I didn't know he was American. Good point. He entered a competitive eating contest where you had to catch and eat as many live frogs as you could in an hour.

That was the house. I mean, the correct answer is he caused a plane crash when he threw the keys out of the window because he thought he was Casper the Friendly Ghost. Was he tripping on something? Yeah, I think he was just tripping on himself a bit. He caused a plane crash. Because he thought he was Casper the ghost.

He was not on the plane. He was on the plane. He was on the plane. Him and his dad. His dad was flying. They were the only two on the plane. Oh, so it was a small plane where you could open the windows. Yes.

Because I was thinking, how does that work? Yeah, yeah. Oh, good point. Yeah, your logic really failed you there. Yeah, it fucked me right up. That's all right. So that means we've got a point for Jess. I'll stop trying.

That's the best way to go about this game. Yeah. Don't try. Yep. Quick score check after two rounds. It is Damien on nil points and Jess and the house on two points each. Still early days and still anyone's game. We're up to question number three.

This one comes from Christina Gonzalez from Ventura in California. And this one, we often all do this sort of question. We're just going to make up a species of animal, okay? So, the question here is, hailing from Lake Titicaca, what is the name of the world's largest entirely aquatic frog? Entirely aquatic. Yes. I guess that means it just never lives on land.

Anyway, you just got to name a frog. Come up with a name of a frog. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about Daniel Johnston. According to The Guardian, Johnston accumulated a committed following on the alternative and underground rock circuit and among his admirers and supporters were kirk cabane of nirvana jason pierce of spiritualized jeff tweedy of wilco beck members of the butthole surfers and sonic youth cordon and nicholas once after a show at the south by southwest music festival in texas in 1990 he traveled back to his native west virginia in a two-seater plane which was being piloted by his father. Halfway through the journey, Daniel took the key from the ignition and threw it out the window. The plane went into a dangerous tailspin as the two passengers

wrestled for control of the steering wheel. Miraculously, Daniel's father managed to crash land into a tree, avoiding any serious damage to either party. Asked afterwards what happened, Daniel replied that he thought he was Casper the friendly ghost. Just before he tried to crash the plane, he had been reading a Casper comic book. On the front cover was a picture of Casper parachuting out of a plane. So I think, and it sounds like it wasn't he was on drugs, it's that he stopped taking drugs.

He wasn't on his medication at the time. Oh, okay. Because he thought that made him perform better. But he hadn't told anyone else that he'd stopped taking his medication for quite a few weeks. Oh, okay. Because he thought that made him perform better. But he hadn't told anyone else that he'd stopped taking his medication for quite a few weeks. Oh, wow. And it sort of, this is the, ended up in hospital for quite a while after this.

That's very interesting. That's a wild story. Much wilder than testing out airbags, I'd say. Or an 18-minute guitar solo, you know. Which is impressive. So, yeah, I guess don't stop taking drugs, kids. And thank God Casper hadn't voided his bowels on the front cover. Oh, my God.

That could have been quite a... Oh, if Casper the friendly ghost will empty his bowels, would you do that too? Yeah. That's something that his dad might have said. Yeah. My dad always said that to me. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a weird catchphrase, but it's just dads. Different time. They say stuff like that. You don't understand until you're a dad, you know. That is something that they say with good reason. Yeah. Yeah. All right, the answers are in for question number three.

Hailing from Lake Titicaca, what is the name of the world's largest entirely aquatic frog? All right, the answers are in for question number three. Hailing from Lake Titicaca, what is the name of the world's largest entirely aquatic frog? The big turtle-licking hopper frog? Scrotum frog? Omphaloskepsis? Anus frog? Or the spotted gary?

Was that the second last one? Anus frog? Yeah, A-N-O-O-S. Anus frog. The big turtle-licking hopper frog? Scrotum frog? Yeah, A-N-O-O-S. Anus frog. The big turtle-licking hopper frog, scrotum frog, omphaloskepsis, anus frog, or the spotted gary. It's entirely aquatic. It's the largest entirely aquatic. Yes, exactly.

Because there's others that are entirely aquatic, but this is the largest of them. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Damien, any ideas? That's fine.

I didn't even. I could just quietly slip out of the room. I was hoping you could logic your way. I reckon, so, you know, I'm going to keep with the logic, unfortunately for me. So, scrotum is tempting. It is, isn't it? Because it's so obviously not. But that's in there to trick you. Yeah, and sometimes they do, they name them weird stuff sometimes.

Scrotum is tempting, as Damien says. Yeah. I've heard that. That's something dads often say. Yeah, scrotum's tempting. Or the really long turtle. The big turtle licking hopper frog. That's not it.

That can't be it. If that's it, I'm going to flip this table. That's infuriating. Spotted. Spotted Gary. Spotted Gary. That's pretty funny. Anus frog and omphaloskepsis.

Okay. The only one that sounds more scientific. I mean, scrotum is a pretty scientific word as well I don't think it's a noose frog Okay Fuck it, I'm going to say a noose frog A noose frog That's the second time you're like, well it's not that

I'm going to lock it in I'm here to have fun Yeah, oh good Well thank God How's it going? I'm having to have fun Yeah Oh good Well thank god How's it going? I'm having a great time Okay Because I just locked in

A noose frog That's silly Yeah It was between that and scrotum Well that's the Never get between that and scrotum And it was a scrotum That's good stuff

We're having fun here Damien what do you reckon? Well, I like Spotted Gary. I just like that phrase, Spotted Gary, and I'd like to pay tribute to whoever came up with Spotted Gary because I just like it. Yeah, maybe it's a Gary that discovered it and they said you can name it whatever you want.

They said, I'll name it Gary. Yeah. It didn't even have spots on it. Yeah, I like all these. I think these will make fantastic frogs. Yes. Did you know we've used your old band Tism for a couple of questions in the past, David?

Oh, really? Yeah, I think maybe even the first episode one of the listeners had a question, was name a Tism song? Yeah, I've definitely had to come up with a fake Tism song. Yeah, you were on that. Yeah, that's right. And the results may surprise you i imagine they'd infuriate you yeah this is what you think we are i think mine definitely had the word butthole in it i think so sorry that's okay i don't think you're only as good as people perceive you to be.

Let's go through who wrote the answers. The big turtle-looking hopper frog, that was Christina in the house. Omphaloskepsis, that was Damien. Now, this is so funny because the last episode Jess was on, there was a question, what does omphaloskepsis mean? Ah, right. Isn't that incredible? I've never heard that word does omphaloskepsis mean? Ah, right. Isn't that incredible? I'd never heard that word before. It's in a tism lyric.

Yeah, right. There you go. It's a well-known word because it stumped everyone. Yeah, I didn't know it. There were four people in the room and they were laughing at how ridiculous what they thought was a fake definition of nasal gazing for meditation or whatever it is. So you were unlucky there that Jess very recently learnt that word.

Last week. I learnt that word last week. Amazing. That is amazing. Then we had, so what songs are it? Well, you got me now, but it might be on one that was too shit to ever release. Yeah, wow. Rules out quite a lot, really, including ones we released.

But I'm pretty sure, released but i'm pretty sure yeah i'm pretty sure it was early but yeah i think of all the things about being in a band that um i've enjoyed over the years it's being able to sing stupid words in a song yeah um and that's one of them that's so fun i'm i'm so impressed you know that word because to me I was like this is a made up collection of sounds which is what words are I get that but I only learnt it last week. There you go. The internet started helping me. Maybe it is an unrelated term. Yeah it probably is but yes. Wow. Maybe I dreamt it. I mean there's been but I'm pretty sure. A lot of times where I've gone to the dictionary listening to Tizm.

So then we had Anus Frog, which was written by Christina. Okay, the house. That's good stuff, Christina. The Spotted Gary was written by Jess, meaning the scrotum frog is correct. Fuck off! I couldn't believe it. Scrotum frog. Remember the time it was a fish, I think, that was like a sarcastic something.

Fringe head. And it's like, yeah, that really threw me off because I was like, oh, now we can just assign attitudes to them as well. Yeah. So scrotum, it must look like a scrotum. Yeah, it's got a lot of excess skin. Yeah. Well, nice work on the spotted Gary, Jeff.

Thank you. Yeah, that was good. Lovely turn of phrase. Spotted Gary. And, you know, you didn't just have that one in your pocket and you pulled it out. It just came out on the moment. Yeah, it just came out.

Yeah. That sounds like an English dessert. Like a spotted dick. Yeah, it does. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Okay. How does my mind work? Probably similarly to mine.

All right. This is question number four. And this one comes from my sister, Alex Stewart from Melbourne. Oh, been in nepotism? It's my younger sister and a big fan of yours as well, DC. She came with me to the Disco Machine album launch. Her favourite track on the album is the Hamster Grammar. Oh.

Which I think is coincidental, but I feature on briefly. So probably the proudest moment of my life. But have you been happy with how that all went down? I've completely forgotten about it, Matt. You just move on as soon as it's out? Yeah, just die to death like everything I do, which is fine because I can't stand anything I do once I've done it. In fact, halfway through I'm doing it, I can't stand it.

Yeah, yeah. I can relate to that. It was four years work. Wow. So, yeah, I got a graphic novel out of it so I'm kind of happy with that. And was it your first solo vinyl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. The first time, yeah, that was lovely. An exercise in self-indulgence, total self-indulgence really. self-indulgence, really. You know, everything is.

It's such a good album. Yeah, it's awesome. For fans, any fun updates? Are you working on anything at the moment? Any more Disco Machine? Yeah, well, I'm definitely working on songs. I don't know what they'll end up being. And hopefully I might do a show this year.

Oh, great. Thinking of doing a show where I do all of the stuff that I've been doing in the 19 years, in my 19-year gap year. Oh, cool. Post that other band. So, yeah, maybe just a bit of a, I don't know, what I did on my holidays type of show. Right.

So, Root Stuff is on DC3. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah. Put together a band, like an amalgam of the bands. Yeah, that's the plan, yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

Just, yeah, there's a couple of songs I did that I don't hate still. Great. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Hamster Grandma. Of course. Well, yeah. I mean, you left that off the set list at the launch, but.

Interesting. Interesting. Well, yeah. I mean, you left that off the set list at the launch, but. Interesting. Interesting. Go. Yeah. I was ready for the crowd to part and me sort of surf up to the stage. High-fiving as you go. So this question from Alex Stewart. What's the name of the song by Deanna Carter that was nominated

for both Best Country Song and Best Female Country Vocal Performance at the 1998 Grammy Awards. Of course, we all know that. Yes. So obvious. Yeah. It's just a big harder one, Alex. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about the scrotum frog.

According to Christina, the scrotum frog can grow up to 20 centimetres, making the world's largest exclusively aquatic frog. They are only found in Lake Titicaca, which is on the border of Bolivia and Peru, and is at an altitude of over 12,400 feet above sea level. To absorb more oxygen, the frog has saggy folds of excess skin, which is why it was dubbed the scrotum frog. About as literal as Daniel Johnson and his Casper comic.

That's right. And it's fun to know that scientists are, you know, as unimaginative. Unimaginative. I'm looking at it now. I don't think it looks. Show us. That's an interesting looking frog, but I would say I don't know about scrotum. No, it doesn't.

Oh, yeah. It almost looks like it's going to. Maybe in this one where it's like its front legs are out a little bit, some of that flappy skin under the arm is a little scrotal. It almost looks like a turtle shell more than a. Yeah. Looks like a Sontaran to me. A Sontaran.

A Sontaran. Is that the, it's a Doctor Who baddie. Oh. Sontaran, I that the Doctor Who baddie? Oh. Sontaran, I think, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes. And he takes the helmet off and he looks like a potato. Oh, I've seen this guy.

Yeah, he looks like a Humpty Dumpty. Oh, yes. I've seen that around but never knew what it was from. Like the colouring is spot on. That is an amazing looking thing, the Sontaran. And that would have been a way better name for a frog. Yes. Damn it.

Scientists. Jeez. Or Anus. Anus. I actually didn't think that. I thought that was a possible choice. Yeah. Yeah, fucked am I.

Anus. No, I liked it as well. While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.

All right. Answers are in for question number four. What song by Deanna Carter was nominated for both Best Country Song and Best Female Country Vocal Performance at the 1998 Grammy Awards? Cool for Catamites. Did I shave my legs for this? Dear John, open bracket, leaving you for my John Deere tractor, close bracket. Don't let go of my heart, open bracket, all the rains, close bracket. Or piss off, Darren.

I won't tell you again. Okay. Can I have those again, please? Cool for catamites. Did I shave my legs for this? Dear John, leaving you for my john dear tractor don't let go of my heart or the reins or piss off darren i won't tell you again they're all very good um i think i would like to choose uh did i shave my legs for this all right

that's fine that is a great song title that's really good. And a question we've all asked ourselves. If Dion didn't use it. Yeah. Does that mean it's up for grabs and can we ride it? All right. Lock that in for Jess. What do you think in DC? Piss off, Darren.

Whatever it is. Piss off, Darren. The Grammy Award nominated Piss Off, Darren. I won't tell you again. That's also really good. If that is up for grabs, that's track number two on our new country album. It's clearly not. Oh, no, they do have Darrens in America.

They have Darrens. I think we have more of a hold on Darren. Yeah, Darren feels Australian. Well, not so much anymore. But, yeah, I'll look up famous Darrens. Darren, was it Darren McGavin or something played Kolchak, the Night Stalker? Oh, wow.

Darren, here's another fact you can prove me wrong on. Darren Oranofsky. Yeah, yep. That's a Darren. That's the one, he comes up as the most famous Darren. Yeah. It does sound like an Aussie kind of name. Yeah. Of the past, though. There's a Darren. That's the one, he comes up as the most famous Darren. Yeah. It does sound like an Aussie kind of name of the past, though. Yeah.

You don't get many Darrens. Darren Lockyer is number four and he is Australian. Okay. He's like an old rugby player, rugby league player. Was Samantha's husband in Bewitched called Darren? Yes, you're right. Yes. Yes, that's a good Darren.

Yeah. That's a good Darren. That's a good Darren. Oh, well, so it could well Darren. That's a good Darren. That's a good Darren. Oh, well, so it could well be. Piss off, Darren. Except they don't say piss off. So, again, I lose. Darren Buffleman's one of the great Darrens.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep. Yeah. Darren Chopin, another Darren there. Yeah, yeah. Now, you've gone cold on it. You're not locked in yet. Oh, okay. Do you want to pick someone else? Yeah. What did you go with, Jess?

Did I shave my legs? Oh, yeah. It's just so great, isn't it? But I'll go the heart rains one. Okay. I'll lock that in. Here's who wrote the answers. Piss off, Darren. I won't tell you again That was the house In my head I'm like that's so Australian But you're right I never thought of there being American Darrens Especially if it's American

They're not getting away with it being called Piss off anything You know? Yeah that's true the Grammys isn't Yeah It would be called bleep off Or the censored version. Like the song Fuck You that then had the gentle version of forget you. Forget you.

Yeah. Not the same. I think it's actually even more brutal. It's more powerful, isn't it? Yeah. Wait, don't forget me. Fuck me. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I do. And maybe the changes are quite a lot. Yeah, that's true. Peace off, Darren. Dear John, leaving you for my John Deere tractor. That was the house as well. Very good. I was pretty pleased with that one.

That's a great one. But it's way too long. Cool for catamites was Damien. Am I saying that right? That's correct. So I put that one in for Alex. That is a song of mine, but a little known song. A catamite is a boy kept for sexual purposes.

Okay. Not a lot of it goes on these days, you know, post-legislation. But I think it was sort of a thing in the Roman times or the Greek times. So, the song actually goes, yeah, the song actually goes, it's not cool for catamites. Okay, great. I'd like to point that out. Good, yeah, great stance to have there, I think. And it talks about Ganymede who was Zeus' catamite. So, you know, it's an educational track.

Yeah, wow. But really just a shit attempt for me making a shit pun. That's most of my stuffies. Or a good attempt at making a shit pun. Oh, yeah. If you're a glass half full type, thank you. Where are we? We are up to, all right, so one of you is correct here.

Oh. But it's not Damien because don't let go of my so one of you is correct here. Oh. But it's not Damien because don't let go of my heart, all the reins was Jess. Yeah. And Jess got the correct one, did I shave my legs for this? So two points for Jess. That is fun. That is a real song, a Grammy Award nominated song.

Did I shave my legs for this? I know what I'm listening to on the way home then. That's great. So a score update. We've got Damien on the way home then. That's great. So, a score update. We've got Damon on zero points. The house on three points. But out in front, on five points, it's Jess Perkins. Wow.

Yeah. You're a bit good at this. No, I think, you know, sometimes, like, I think you're just, you're locked into my brainwave, you know, which is nice. Yeah, you have been picking a few Jesses. Yeah, it's great. Yep. I'm stoked with that.

Well, there's a certain lyrical quality to the choices you've made, Jess. Spotted Gary. Yeah. You've picked three out of four rounds. You've picked three of Jesses. Can we change the rules? Yeah. If I accurately, correctly pick Jesses, I get half a point.

Maybe next time if you start to lean towards's, I get half a point. Maybe next time, if you start to lean towards mine, I'll just go. All right, here we are at question number five. Only three to go. This one comes from Matthew Boar from Kalauna in British Columbia. Question is, what was the badass name of Kurt Russell's long-term personal stunt double? What was the badass? Badass name. Yeah, badass.

With the American ass. Badass. Badass name of Kurt Russell's long-term personal stunt double. So, okay, yeah. He's a badass name, like a nickname. No, it's his name, but the name just is a kind of badass. It's sort of a bit tough or, you know, it sounds, you know, potentially a stage name. While you know, it sounds, you know, potentially a stage name.

While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Did I Shave My Legs For This. According to wikipedia.org, which is an online resource I found, it was released in November of 1997 as the sixth single and title track from the album Did I Shave My Legs For This. The song reached number 25 on the billboard hot country singles and tracks chart do you ever have an album where you're only six singles from it no what's that economic term the diminishing returns yeah big time yeah uh but yeah somehow this was the

biggest one uh the song is a lament from the point of view of a woman who lives in a mobile home with her husband. The couple had a romantic night planned and the woman prepared by going to a beauty salon, buying a new dress and shoes and shaving her legs. But when she arrives home expecting flowers and wine from her husband, she is disappointed to see that he's interested only in watching television and drinking beer. The song was parodied by country music parodist Cletus D. Judd as Did I Shave My Back For This? That's good stuff.

From his 1998 album of the same name, Carter appears briefly in the music video for the song. Oh, that's fun. She's in on the joke. She blesses the clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. It's a bit literal.

Like I was sort of hoping that it would just be a, you know, like just a litany of bad things and the line after it is, did I shave my legs for this? You know, I don't know, like Brexit, did I shave my legs for this? Trump, did I shave my, you know, but obviously she's gone and told a story, a bit like the musical, those musicals that came out like Mamma Mia and stuff where I've never seen any of them, but I'm thinking how much of a story is in the song?

You're going to just have half an hour of exposition. Yeah. Anyway. My favourite part of a movie is where they just start to explain their master plan and you're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yes Alright, the answers are in for question number five Here it is What was the badass name of Kurt Russell's long-term personal stunt double?

Dick Warlock Damien Snakehead Oh, wow Buck Blazeman Rats Palandrus Or Gregory Thunderclap. I need those again. Those are incredible names.

All right. Kurt Russell's long-term personal stunt doubles name was Dick Warlock, Damien Snakehead, Buck Blazeman, Rats Palandrus, or Gregory Thunderclap? Oh, there's some fun names in there. Yeah. I think I want it to be Buck Blazeman. Buck Blazeman. Oh, that's great.

Or Dick. Dick Warlock. Dick Warlock. I want to go Buck. Buck Blazeman. Buck Blazeman for Jess. Can I go Buck. Buck Blazeman. Buck Blazeman for Jess. Can I go Buck as well? You can both go Buck for sure.

It's very good. It's very good. It's got that B, the hard B sound. Buck Blazeman. It's so obviously that it probably isn't. Something fun about like the blah sound. Yes. Fun in your mouth.

Blazeman. Exactly blah sound. Yes. Fun in your mouth. Blazeman. Exactly. Yeah. Block. All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Gregory Thunderclap. That was Jess Perkins.

I stand by it. That's a great name. Rats Palandrus. It's Damien. That's good. Rats. Damien Snakehead. That was Matthew, a.k.a. The House.

Buck Blazeman was also The House. Oh, my God. It was a dick. And the correct answer was Dick Warlock. Dick Warlock. Oh, that's great. So that's two points for The House there. Dick Warlock.

Dick Warlock. I thought it was so good. That's great. It's no Gregory Thunderclap. No. I think we can all agree. I got to Buck Blake. I looked up toughest names and Buck was on the list.

I'm like, that's pretty tough. That's pretty tough. Your Google search history must be so baffling. Frogs, tough names. The FBI don't know what to do with them. They're like, I'm not, is not Googling anything too dangerous, but I'm worried. But then I do, because if do go on, I'll be researching criminals and stuff. Yeah.

So they'll be like. How to make bomb. What's this guy? For podcast reasons. What's he doing? Most badass names. Oh. She's trying to come up with a villain name.

Buck? I do. I think Gregory has a lovely childish sort of unthreatening feeling. Gregory. I think Gregory is a fantastic name. I think it's because of Gregory Peck. That's who I always think of. Gregory Peck?

Yeah, if I wasn't so used to that name, that would have fit in here. Yeah. That is kind of- Peck. Pecks. Gregory Pecks. Gregory Pecks. What a fable sense. All right, with two rounds to go, the scores are Damien on zero,

Jess and the house on five points each. It is truly still anyone's game. It's exciting. Here is the penultimate question. Question number six comes from Rani from Lebanon. This might be my first Lebanese-penned question. Awesome. And this one really plays into your footballing hands, Damien.

The question is, what happened in an amateur football match between Italian teams Ponticelli and Riolo Termi in 2014? 2014. Something happened. It was noteworthy enough in an amateur football match in Italy between Ponticelli and Riolo Termi in 2014. While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about Dick Warlock.

According to Wikipedia, he was born on the 5th of Feb, 1940 as Richard Lemming, but is known professionally as Dick Warlock. He's an American actor and stunt man. He is known for playing Michael Myers in Halloween 2. He also played the android assassin in Halloween 3, Season of the Witch, and he was Kurt Russell's personal stunt double for over 25 years. He was active from 1960 until his retirement in 2002. He now lives in Kingsport, Tennessee, and has three kids, Lance, Rhonda and Billy. And Billy

has gone on to have a lengthy acting career of his own with long stints on shows such as Days of Our Lives, Baywatch and General Hospital. And Billy took on his dad's stage name. So he's Billy Warlock. All right. The answers are in. For question number six, what happened in an amateur football match between Italian teams Ponticelli and Riolo Terme in 2014? I can't help but say that with my hand. Yeah. I am one-eighth Swiss Italian, one-quarter Swiss Italian. It's coming out right now.

So that's going to happen. It would feel offensive otherwise. Yeah, luckily it's in my blood. So I can't stop it even if I wanted to. All right, here are your options. A stray dog ran onto the pitch and took the ball, resulting in the team chasing the dog around the pitch for approximately eight minutes.

The goalkeeper ran into the crowd and yelled at a puppy who was yelping and putting him off. A player received a red card after taking a goal-scoring celebration too far by headbutting a hole through his team's bench. A llama stole a ball and the game was abandoned. Or when one of the sides didn't have 11 players, they subbed on a horse to play goalie as there wasn't anything in the rule book that said they couldn't.

A lot of animal-related air views. Just get a horse to stand there. Oh, you could still kick it between its legs. Yeah. There's a lot of space there. That's right. Hmm. It would actually probably be easier.

Get the horse to sit down? They don't like to do that, typically. No, I can't picture a seated horse. I'm imagining, like, camels. You know how they kind of fold themselves up and... Oh, yeah, yeah. So at that time, I'm imagining a horse. I don't think they can.

Camel would be a better goalie because you've got the big hump as well. Yeah, but that's not one of the options. No. Llama is, which has got to be in the camel family. Llama stole a ball. Dog stole a ball. Dog. A puppy was yelping.

Somebody yelled at a puppy. There's four animals in there? Four animals. And the other one was... And headbutting a hole? Yeah, headbutting a hole. Headbutting a hole. Head butting a hole. Head butting a hole through the team's bench.

Hmm. Yes. You can go first this time, Damien. I've been really steamrolling and jumping in. Yeah. Which is great because it gives my slow mind an opportunity to figure out what the fuck to say. So I'm going to go one of the animal ones because there are four animal ones

and one non-animal one. Yeah. Playing the odds. Yeah. The animal odds. Playing the odds. And so the puppy, who ran something puppy in the crowd? The goalkeeper ran into the crowd and yelled at a puppy who was yelping

and putting him off. Like puppies don't understand. It's a weird place to take a puppy. Oh, yes. But they're part of the family, Matt. That's true. Yeah, no, I think I'll go for the dog stealing the ball. Dog stealing the ball?

Fantastic. What about you, Bop? You're right. It is odd to take a puppy to soccer, football. Maybe it was being trained to be a seeing eye puppy. Oh, and then he yelled at it. It's wearing like the whole outfit. Honestly, this goalkeeper might not have been a good guy.

But honestly, if that dog's yelping, it's not going to make it as a seeing eye dog. Yeah, true. That's true. Can't yelp. Is that one of the rules? Yeah. Yeah, okay, no yelping. Come on, mate. You want to make it in that one of the rules? Yeah. Yeah, okay. No yelping. Come on, mate.

You want to make it in this business? Shut up. Yeah. Maybe it was encouraging. It was like, now, if you want to be a singing hot dog, you've got to cut that out. Yeah, yeah. Um, I don't think it's a llama. Um.

I'm going to go horse. Go on the horse? Why not? Getting on the horse. Getting on the horse. Getting on the horse? Why not? Getting on the horse. I'm getting on the horse. You're getting on the horse. I think it's silly. Yeah.

I feel like a few movies were based on it then. This is where Air Bud came from. Maybe. It's probably the head-butting gun. They changed quite a few things. Yeah. It's a dog and it's a basketball. Locking it in?

Yeah, why not? All right. Here's who wrote the answers. The goalkeeper ran into the crowd and yelled at a puppy. That was Rani. I'll get it to basketball. Locking it in? Yeah, why not? All right, here's who wrote the answers. The goalkeeper ran into the crowd and yelled at a puppy. That was Ranny, okay, the house. A llama stole the ball and the game was abandoned. That was Damien.

Whoa. The horse won. That was the house. I'm like, all right, I reckon every time I have a question like this, I'll put in, you wouldn't know this because you're not on every episode. But I listen. But I do love to have one that is, and there was nothing in the rule book. That's true.

You love that. I love that. You love a ragtag bunch. Ragtag bunch, yeah. Nothing in the rule book. Damn it. The lessons I learned along the way. Yes. I love the corny.

Why do I think I'm signalling to you don't pick this. Yeah, but I kind of forgot the others and just went, oh, just pick one. And so it's going to be like, it'll be the head-butting one. A stray dog ran onto the pitch and took the ball, which Damien went for. That was Jess again. Can you believe that?

Well, it's becoming embarrassing now. Yeah. Meaning the correct answer was a player received a red card after taking a goal-scoring celebration too far by headbutting a hole. The only non-animal one. Yeah, that's right. It was amazing that my two fake ones were animals and then you both did animals.

And look, just in comparison to the rest, which were all like crazy animal related, that one seemed boring. Yeah. But with more variety in the other answers, that would have had more oomph. Yes, it's true. Truth is always boring, isn't it, the truth? Yeah.

We were all sort of imagining the, you know, So we were all sort of imagining the, you know, peasant landscape, farmers with those crooked stick things. That's what we were channeling with our animals. But it was just a normal, probably suburban game. Yeah. Let me show you the video. What's he got to get him so excited about for Christ's sake?

What did he think he was doing? Like he thought he was headbutting it. I don't think he thought he was going to go through. No, but yeah, I wonder what he thought would happen. But his plan was to headbutt it. And then he gets red carded. He gets red carded, yeah. That's so weird and so funny.

Must have been fairly light, like a perspex. Yeah, it didn't shatter quite as much as glass. But lucky for him, you didn't knock yourself out. He looked fine. Yeah. Yeah, it must have been plastic. So that was, it must have been a plastic. So that was, I think with the video, like it doesn't stand out,

but seeing it is a pretty fun bit of footage. And it wasn't even anything particularly great, what he'd done. No, it was one of the lowest key goals ever. Yeah. It was a real stuff up by the goalie. Yeah. A horse would have held on to that. Wow.

A tap in. Yeah. It was a tap in. It didn goalie. Yeah. A horse would have held on to that. Wow. A tap in. Yeah. It was a tap in. It didn't deserve that celebration, did it? That's the great thing about soccer is that you can, you know, you can do that sort of tap in and then run to the corner flag. Yeah. Like Cristiano Ronaldo and take your shirt off.

Yeah. Exactly. I played the wrong sports growing up. That could have been you. For somebody who loves to start around applause. Yeah, Exactly. I played the wrong sports growing up. That could have been. For somebody who loves to start around applause. Yeah, yeah. It feels like the celebrations of soccer really suit me. Yeah. That brings us to the final question, which comes from Rin from London in the UK.

This is a longer one, Damien. So you normally write, you know, like a little paragraph for this. That's a movie synopsis. Yeah, probably like three, four sentences. Right. And the question is, and this is worth, I should say, this is worth triple points. Whoa.

So it is truly still. Because I want to get zero now. Yeah. So the pressure's on. Pressure's on to, yeah, not be picked and not to accidentally pick the right one. I'm trying to think of what Jess will write. That's what I'm trying to do. People have scored nil before.

It's not unheard of. I think I had, last time I had like one point and that was a pity point. But the scores at the moment are Damien on nil, Jess on six, and the house on six. So you could get six points this round, Damien. Make it a three-way tie. That would also be pretty good. That'd be great. So we'll see. All results still on the table. So here is question number seven from Rin.

What is the synopsis of the 1995 film Fluke? Fluke. What is the synopsis of the 1995 film Fluke? While your answer is being written here's some more info about the goal celebration there isn't a lot unfortunately it is a pretty low level football game after all but uh esquire did publish the video under the heading the strangest goal celebration we've ever seen which i think it probably talks it up a bit writing a goalkeeper fumbles a simple catch from a tame free kick an opposition player fumbles in the rebound so far exactly what you'd expect from lower league football but what followed in this game between italian sides rialo termay and

ponticelli was bizarre enough to get picked up around the world it says we won't spoil the surprise but suffice to say this celebration left teammates baffled and the referee furious enough to give him a red card uh so that was all the info i could find but while you're still writing your answers here's some of the comments on the youtube clip these have all been translated from italian rock paladin writes those who insult from the stands do not understand the greatness and at the same time the purity of this masterpiece but Matteo Barbieri counters they too are part of the masterpiece which I think is a beautiful point Adam Katterman writes this video has the power to change your day it's all great the cross the

goalkeeper the headbutt the referee the crowd the player who tries to convince the referee that it was the bench that provoked his teammate. Number eight's like pointing over at the bench like, you know what, you can't send him off. And he's pointing at the bench like the bench started it. Richard Lamb writes, this will remain one of the most significant football moments of the millennium. And finally, Freddie Nachos writes, am I the only one who understands the genius of this gesture? An author's gesture. The artist is the one who manages to excite the public and apparently our dear friend in the yellow jersey has done it brilliantly. So I turn to you, O'Player, to say thank you. Thank you for giving

me a jolt, an emotion like I haven't felt for a long time. A beautiful sentiment. All right, the answers are in. Here is the final question. What is the synopsis of the 1995 film Fluke? Freddy is an unlucky superhero ninja who fails at everything he attempts. The secret government agency gives him one last chance to redeem himself. The job? To rescue the president's pet rabbit from the evil Dr. Dreadful.

But he is almost instantly captured by Dreadful's right-hand man, Captain Fister. Can Freddy fluke his way out of this one? It'll take every bit of courage you can muster, but it'll learn that sometimes you have to make your own luck. Oh, love that.

The blandest man in town accidentally smudges a blob of black texture on his hand. It leads to a mix-up where he's credited with a Grammy-winning album. He becomes impossibly rich and a beautiful self-help guru falls in love with him. Workaholic Thomas P. Johnson has achieved professional success at the expense of his family life, having neglected his wife Carol and son Brian. After Johnson wrecks his car in a dangerous street race with co-worker Jeff Newman,

he finds himself watching his own funeral. Returning to Earth as a dog, Johnson finds his family and struggles to have a positive influence on their lives. Whoa, that was a twist. In spite of his canine form. Okay. It was a bit of a leap there. Yeah, wasn't it?

He watches his own funeral, okay, and then returns to Earth as a dog. Well, that's why he realises he's a dog. He's watching his own funeral. And he's like, how am I watching this? And then he looks down at his hands and they're not hands. Row, I feel, row, I feel. Row. And then he starts licking his balls.

He's like, hang on, I couldn't do this before. Hang on, am I in heaven? He's scratching his ear, but with his back leg. Yeah. And he's like, how am I doing this? What's going on? Something he doesn't add up. Anyway, back to the funeral.

Brad Williams doesn't have the grades to get into his dream college, but an administration error means he receives a full scholarship to Stanford, where his longtime high school crush Carly is also a student. Brad has to fake his way through classes and meets a lot of interesting characters along the way. Sounds very 1995. Or down on his luck, chef Frank Fredericks finds a magical pan on the way home from work.

No matter what he puts in the pan, it creates an incredible meal. And Fredericks soon finds himself climbing the culinary ladder. But when an ex-chef turned local gangster starts to blackmail him about his newfound talents, Frank has to choose between the success of his restaurant and the safety of his family. Whoa. Couple of big twists. Yeah. Tonal shifts. Okay. I need them again.

I'll try and give them briefly. Yeah, just summarize them. So you've got the first one's the unlucky superhero ninja has to save the rabbit. Yes. And Captain Fister gets him. Yep. And then you've got the blandest man in town accidentally becoming a Grammy winner.

Oh, yeah. And becomes rich and famous. I'd forgotten that one. It was so bland. Then you've got workaholic Thomas P. Johnson, who's a bad dad but comes back as a dog to try to turn it all around. How? He's dead.

He's alive now. As a dog. In dog form. You can't. Okay, yeah. Yeah, fair enough. Thomas Johnson's back. This time in dog form.

Yeah, but I don't know if he can. Yeah. I guess that's where the chaos ensues. He's a bad dad, right? Yeah, yeah. So you would think the thing. Yeah. I guess that's where the chaos ensues. He's a bad dad, right? Yeah, yeah. So you would think the thing he's trying to turn around. His family life. Yeah, but then he's a dog.

And dogs add a lot to a family, sure. Yeah. But not the same as a dad. Mm. Yeah. Probably more, actually. Well, they have got a shit dad. Now at least I've got a good dog.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Well, they have got a shit dad. Now at least I've got a good dog. Yeah, okay, yeah. Then you had Brad Williams who didn't have the grades but an admin error meant he got a full scholarship to Stanford where his girlfriend was or no, his crush was or the chef who found a magic pan and then the mafia get involved.

I like the magic pan. That's fun. You immediately know what you're thinking. He would put in it if you're jogging. Anyway, but carry on. So, I was about to say, what do I pick? But I know the answer. You don't have to pick.

I don't have to do it. You know, like, I think it's pretty obvious that only one of them has got anything to fucking do with the name Fluke. Fluke. The rest of them are, like, could be called the dog that came back. That's true. The magic pan. Yeah. You've got two, I think.

The blandest man. The Grammy winner and the high school admin error. So, two, I think you'd call them both. So really it's the guy that has his grades and for that reason I'm going with Fister. Fister. That's with a P, isn't it? You've zagged. No, it is with an F.

Oh. I thought he was Austrian. He might be. I want to go for the pan. Go on the pan? And Damon, you're locking in? Fister in the pan. to go for the pan. Go on the pan. And, Damon, you're locking in. Fister in the pan. Fister in the pan.

That's the superhero ninja. That's another movie. Fister in the pan. Fister in the pan. Yeah, that's one of those buddy cops where the partner is a llama. It's a strangely flat head. Yeah, I'm going Fister. You're going Fister? Yeah. And, Jess, you'm going Fister. You're going Fister?

Yeah. And Jess, you're going for? The Magic Pan. The Magic Pan. Yeah, it's 1995. Yeah, anything's possible in the 90s. I think that's the year you won a couple of RE Awards yourself. Yeah, clearly anything is possible.

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. The blandest man in town accidentally winning Grammys. That was Damon Cowell. That's good. That's actually the story of Chris Martin. I was wondering how that came about. I thought the black text to smudge on his hand was a dead giveaway, but I slipped that one through unnoticed.

That's very funny. Then we had Brad Williams doesn't have the grades to get into his dream college. That was just Perkins. Oh, really? See, I thought that was the winner. Yeah. So I reckon I've done it again because I deliberately didn't pick the winner, which could mean I win, which my plans might be foiled.

Oh. Well, the magical pan which Jess went for, that was Ryan, aka the house. That's funny. Ryan, I'd speak to some Hollywood execs if I were you. That's good stuff. Imagine that animated. Yeah.

It's essentially Ratatouille because Ratatouille, the chef in Ratatouille can't cook. Right. But instead of a rat, it's a pan. Yeah. Did the mafia get involved in Ratatouille? There'satouille, the chef in Ratatouille can't cook. Right. But instead of a rat, it's a pan. Yeah. Did the mafia get involved in Ratatouille? There's a bad guy, for sure. Yeah.

Starring Rats Palandrus. Oh. Okay. It's all coming together now. Freddy, the unlucky superhero ninja, which Damien went for, that was also the house. Oh. So you've done it. You've done it.

Meaning the correct answer was the bad dad who comes back and dogs are fucked. Why is it called Fluke? What's that got to do with Fluke? I don't know. Or is it because they named the dog? The dog's name's Fluke. Okay. Well, that's just a small detail you left out.

Fluke's actually kind of a cute name for a dog. Yeah. But is that enough? Because, I mean, it's made up for the film. That's still an afterthought. Like, if they wanted it to make more sense. Yeah. You know what I mean?

They've named the dog and the film. The fixer or the equaliser. Yeah. Because if the dog's going to set things right. Dog dad. Yes. Excuse me, Samuel L. Jackson is in that movie. Yeah, voicing a squirrel.

And Ron Perlman. Yeah. Wow. And the bad guy from Stranger Things is the dad. Right. One of the bad guys, I guess. Yeah. Okay.

It's got, it's pretty well panned, like the magic pan. Critics have given it 25% on Rotten Tomatoes. It's a big old splat. But the audience likes it more probably because kids probably rating it there, giving it 68%. Just to give you an idea of the two sides of the story, critic Greg Muskowitz was one of the ones who didn't mind it. He still only gave it three out of five. But he wrote,

it deals with challenging issues for the younger crowd in a sensitive manner and is still able to avoid patronising the parent viewers. Whereas Fred Topple hated it, giving it one out of five, writing, terrible dog movie. Schmaltzy family crap. Terrible dog movie. Terrible dog. Even in the pantheon of dog movies. My favourite genre, dog movie. I suppose there are a lot, really. Yeah. Think about it.

It looks like, just based on some pictures that are on IMDb, it looks like it was sort of in a two-film pack with Napoleon. Oh. So that might account for a few people seeing it because Napoleon was. Yeah, that one I've heard of. Yeah. So it was a loss leader then. Right.

It was. Move that stock. Yeah, I think so. Eric Stoltz was in it. He was the guy. Eric Stoltz. He was the enemy who got in the car crash with him. Right.

But yeah, Samuel L. Jackson, it's a wild past. Box office made $3.3 million. Budget $15 million. Yeah, I believe that was not ideal for them. Not good. That's unfortunately Fluke 2 had to be put on ice. The dog? Fluke 2 was put down.

We had a dog ready to go. Then they cancelled the movie. We put down the dog. It was the only right thing to do. All right, time for a final score check i don't like this as much as you on zero points as damien which you were going for yes thank you very much thank you golf rules that's a record score equal record uh in second place jess perkins on six points but uncomfortably out in front on 12 points. It's the house. 12.

12. Oh, you got that one. You got six points in the end. Whoa. But you said the house hasn't won for like eight weeks. Yeah. You needed this. I needed it, yeah.

Just to get a little belief back. Yeah. The house was starting to get a bit, you know, flaccid. Cocky. Oh, yeah. Cocky? Yeah, because it was weird. How do you get cocky? When I do badly for a long time.

Now, where can people find you? Damien, where can people listen to your tunes and that sort of thing? What's the best place for them to listen to your stuff? God. Band camp? Band camp's the best way. Is there any vinyl left? Yes.

If you go to drw.com.au, that's where, that's David Roy Williams. So, yeah, you can get it there. Gee, I should have thought of this before I came here. Promotion, self-promotion. I've forgotten how to do that. But it's, yeah, it's a beautiful album cover. I love it. Which you designed.

It's all, like it's almost a one man operation. Yeah, it's you know, sort of helped by a terrible pandemic which was foisted upon us all. So, yeah. I spent a fuckload of time doing that thing. And the graphic novel, that was not an afterthought. It was like this, because it's a YouTube series and why not make it a graphic novel? Yeah.

And, you know, graphic novel, it's such a pretentious title, isn't it? So, but, you know, what I kind of always said was that the most, to tell a story, what's the most juvenile way I can think of telling it? Because that's essentially what I've done in my career is just act like a juvenile and comic books. And you self-taught animation and everything. Yeah, yeah. You know, the place I was working helped. I sort of lied about needing some training for work and that was very helpful.

That's cool. But, yeah, I kind of figured out how to do it. And, you know, really I cut a lot of terrible corners and if you know anything about animation you probably scoff and it sure ain't fucking Frank Miller's Daredevil or anything. It's not. No. Okay.

However, it's not. Okay. However, it's animation. Anything is animation these days. Yeah. It's intelligent artifice. Yes. So, I think, anyway, people should buy the vinyl and bring it to a live show. I'll sign it for them based on my two verses because, you know, it's the least I can do for the fans.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. As a fan, thank you. No worries. Jess, where can people find you? You can find me at Do Go On Podcast, our other podcast, which is an absolute joy, or on Instagram at Jess Perkins.

And you, yeah, a recent episode of Do Go On, you told us the story of Charles Kingsford Smith. That's right. Yep. A name you might know, but how much do you know? Yeah. Turns out the name goes further back than the airport. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. That's why I love our podcast. He was a man who was a bad dad and he came back as an airport. But he's trying to be a better dad now. Through airports. Through airport. Yeah. Through airport, yeah. Through being an airport. Yeah, yeah.

You could really drop the prices, honestly, mate. If you want to be good to the families, okay? Why is it $7 for a packet of Mentos? Come on. Thanks so much for joining us. Really appreciate it. And thanks, everyone, for listening. Please give us a five-star review.

Why not? Why wouldn't you? Tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. You've run out of ideas. Just admit it.

Back to the future, though, which is good, although you're going to tell me they're working no they've i've seen that the people who are in charge of that are saying it won't happen you can say no yeah yeah wow but i wonder what happens when they die yeah the studio is in control of it i think it'll it'll come out the next week i reckon that's right now damien as well as as being self-deprecating, you're also a Saint supporter. Yes.

So it's sort of built in a little bit, isn't it? It is. Jess is a Collingwood supporter. Oh, right. So obviously she just lived her life as borderline successful. Yeah. And that's why she's applauding herself all the way. That's right.

Yeah, I love the pies. I love them. I could name every player if I wanted to. Yeah, go on, name a player. I've seen, I've been to every game. Yep. Go on, name one of the players. Pendles.

Oh, okay, that is one. Is he still playing? Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. How old is Pendles now? He's a... Or was he very young when he started?

I think he's in his mid-30s. Old. Yeah. He's maybe the Collingwood Games record holder now too. Wow. Okay, there you go. So you are a fan. Yes.

Anyway, here's our first question. This is that silence. Last week's episode was with two people who hadn't been on before and when I stopped talking, you could see them sort of panic. They're probably people who feel silences in general conversation. I'm a bit like that actually. It's quite unnerving. But I noticed that rock stars in the old days, you know, these sort of proper rock star types would leave terrible long silences in their

interviews and it was all okay. Right. You know, it's sort of the arty thing to do. David Bowie would do that a lot and stuff, leave the long pregnant silence. But you can't really get away with that today because everything is so short-term gratification, you see. So you just have to say a lot of inane shit in the gaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just say it quickly. Everyone's panicking, you know. They're all applauding themselves. Yeah. Any silence yeah. Say it quickly. Everyone's panicking, you know. They're all applauding themselves. Yeah. Any silence, got to feel it. That's right. Welcome, Jess. It's not that you want to applaud yourself,

it's that you're afraid of the silence. Maybe it's more that I'm afraid that if I just, if I don't do anything, no one will applaud. Right. You know. And in these sort of cases where it's just three people talking, that probably will often happen. But I'll do it at gigs.

Yeah. I'll start my own applause. Start your own applause. I'll have to work on that. No, I think that's fair enough. Okay, great. Oh, we'll do no self-reflection then. Perfect.

Just remember, a lot of people hate you. Carrying a, of people hate you. Carrying a... Carrying a... Fuck. I will edit that. Yes. And then I changed it to Gary and you are literally wearing a Gary South Shore Railcats. Okay, you're right.

One of my Gary merch. I looked around the room and... I'm a big fan of the city of Gary, Indiana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that not where John Cougar came from? Could be wrong. And now you're going to prove me wrong. Well, it's where Michael Jackson was born.

Was it? Oh, okay. So maybe not John Cougar. You get those two confused. I do, yeah. Let's see. He's from Seymour, Indiana, which I imagine is – all right. This is important to get to the bottom of.

How far away is it from Gary? Maybe he went to school in Gary. We're hoping to be over in America later this year, so maybe we can do the John Cougar pilgrimage. Absolutely. We've got our own Seymour. I haven't made my way there. So it'll be wild to get to her.

No, that's quite a journey between the two. You were way off, Danny. It's actually embarrassing how far away the two were. It's actually like a, it's a three-hour drive. Oh, my God. They've got nearly nothing to do with each other. Could have been born in Florida, couldn't he? Yeah, may as well have been.

It's probably Canadian. Don't look up anything else, I say. Credibility gone right out the door. I think your credibility actually rises when you don't know something about John Cougar Mellencamp. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, that's exciting.

You're working on stuff. Yeah. I mean, you sort of always are, though, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I have been watching Farmer Wants a Wife, so I am turning slightly normal. So I'd better stop that.

No, I think that will surely inspire, you know. So I think, yeah, you keep watching. Probably, yeah. And you'll come up with beautiful things. So you dragged poor Alex along to my show. I didn't drag her. No, she's made her a tis a mixie day when we were younger and she's been a fan ever since.

Actually, all our young cousins, they got obsessed. Dear. They'll find this very surreal that I'm in the room with you. Well, it's, yeah. Hey, really blow their mind. Tell them I'm here too. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

I don't think they could take it. It's too much. I'll let most of that out, Damon, because that was embarrassing at least as much for me as it was for you. Your podcast was so great. I can't remember if I told you that. It was almost like an autobiography. It was.

I kind of thought I'd try and do an autobiography but make it into a podcast because, you know. Yeah, it was great. It just felt a bit less pretentious. It was still pretentious but it was purely, it was like a 19-episode excuse to finally pay out on Anna Block who wouldn't dance with me at the Springvale Youth Club. Finally left that off the weight off your shoulders.

It felt very cathartic to let that go. Anna Block. Finally got you, Anna. I suspect she's, you know, probably poor person's probably dead or something. Hopefully. Probably mortified to death. No good. After they called out.

Like, I don't know. She wasn't the one who was the fan of the Hunters and Collectors? No. Oh. That was later. That was uni. Yes, that was uni. Yeah, yeah.

No, that was Melanie. I don't remember her surname, but, yeah. It's hard to imagine Hunters and Collectors being the uber zeitgeist cool band, but they were. It's so interesting that that was. They were really pretentious and and had a really pretentious crowd and i felt completely intimidated going there and then somehow over the passage of time they turned into the opposite yeah you know but they were

fuck they were just yeah like they had a guy who used to ding a gas cylinder. That's all he did. And a guy on keyboard who made film, who was studying film at Swinburne, you know. Yeah, they were poor. What a transformation. Yeah. I don't know. Because they were sort of in the same league as the boys next door, whatever Nick Cavettan was at the time. They were sort of contemporaries.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they came a little bit after, but they had absolutely that same kind of inner city, private school, super snooty crowd. And the models were another example of that who, you know, they kind of were so incredibly cool when they started and then somehow they end up doing out of mind, out of sight. Yeah, they became like big pop stars.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, but I think it's probably, I mean, this is all getting a bit fucking serious now, but sorry, but I think it's just if you have to make money out of music, you make money being on Countdown. And I don't think it's just if you have to make money out of music, you make money being on Countdown. And I don't think it's a conscious decision. I think you incrementally morph your way into becoming the thing that you hate.

Yeah. But there's a skill in writing a hit. He won't sell out. You don't think Jess will sell out? No. Oh, big time. Make her an offer. I'll take it.

The song was parodied by country music. The song was parodied by country. Country. Country. That is one of the joys of having Jess on the show, Damien. She'll laugh and really set herself off. I went a bit silly on this one. No, no, you were.

You're in the ballpark. Warlock, that was what the Darrens were on bewitched oh yeah no yeah well no that's what her aunt her dad was or something presumably yes we never met the dad but uh one of those was a warlock uncle or something that popped in sometimes would have been a warlock presence unless it was ivF but you know. Surely they'd have a spell for that wouldn't they? Yeah that's true.

IVF is expensive if you can just do it through magic. No but I remember Samantha was very keen on doing things naturally. The human way

that's correct. Yes. Although her mum might not have been the same. I haven't thought about that Sean. It's so weird that both actors' names were Dick.

Were they? Dick Warlock. No, they were. I'm pretty sure. Dick Sargent. Dick Sargent. And, oh. I look up the two dicks.

This might go straight to. Hang on. No. Let's come up with someone else. The two dicks. What's that knocking? Dick York. Dick York?

Oh, yes. And was it Dick Sargent? And Dick Sargent. Right. And they both, the two Darrens. They were both Darren. The Two Dicks played the two Darrens. Figuratively as well as literally.

I loved that as a kid. To me, that was like the cool version of I Dream of Jeannie. Yeah. I don't know why. They were very similar vibes, I think. Yeah. I think I mix them up in my head a little bit sometimes. Yeah, I guess they both start a magic woman.

And in so many ways, aren't all women magic? And a put-upon man. Oh, magic again? You've done the magic all wrong. It's created a real nuisance for me and my boss, who's either in the army or an advertising executive. Or maybe both. Wow.

I forget which is which.