Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 45 - Michelle Brasier, Mish Wittrup and Danielle Walker
Episode Date: July 17, 2023Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Michelle Brasier, Mish Wittrup and Danielle Walker!Watch Matt's... stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the
melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that
stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com
welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is about to perform her show Reform at the Edinburgh Fringe this August.
It's Michelle Brazier.
Toot toot.
Thanks so much for joining us.
First time, Michelle, is that correct?
It's my first time on this podcast.
I can't believe it.
And do you know what?
Because I've been on Dave's podcast.
I've been on Do Go On.
For a while, I've been thinking, is Matt mad at me? And for a while, I've been thinking about all the things I've been on Do Go On, for a while I've been thinking, is Matt mad at me?
And for a while I've been thinking about all the things I could do to get back at you.
So I'm really glad that I'm finally here.
I've been crossed off the list.
Yeah.
Well, that's funny because I just crossed you off my list of people I'm mad at and that's
why I've invited you on.
Isn't it beautiful?
Isn't it beautiful to just bury that hardship?
And it feels great.
It feels great to record this moment.
Our second guest is host of the
podcast mission zach's leg was amorama it's mish whitrop hello it's not my first time you're back
i'm back this podcast is like crack to me you have no idea how excited i am you risk you asked me to
do it and then you rescheduled it and i was genuinely putting you on my list of people that
i'm a bit mad because i was so excited Our third guest this week is from Taskmaster Australia
and the new period sitcom Gold Diggers, Staniel Walker.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
You're just in town this week.
You used to be from Melbourne.
Before that, you were from Townsville.
Yeah.
Now you're in Sydney.
You're a real woman of the East Coast.
Yeah.
I move around after the first 20 years probably and then six years.
And yeah, so pretty frequent mover, me.
It's good to have you in town.
She's a mover, she's a griever.
Oh, yes.
I'm a shaker.
We lived together in Edinburgh for a month.
We did.
It was beautiful.
It was a beautiful time.
It was a nice time.
We had a lovely little house.
Danielle made the best cold brew coffee. Oh, that's handy. It was. That time. It was a nice time. We had a lovely little house. Danielle made the best cold brew coffee.
Oh, that's handy.
It was.
That's a handy housemate.
It's a really easy thing to make.
You don't have to pay $5 a cup for it.
You actually don't.
Was barista your job before you kind of decided to, like,
dip your toe in comedy?
No, I just get really into things.
Oh, yeah.
And then I find out how to do it.
And then I have new skills.
Did you want to do the quiz, Matt?
Yeah, let's start the show.
So the way it works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question
and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.
I then read their answers as well as the real one
and I have to guess which one is correct.
Are we ready to play?
Absolutely.
Here's question number one.
This one comes from listener Brian Olive from Indiana in the USA.
And Brian's question is, what is a Mount Weasel?
What is a Mount Weasel?
And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works.
So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant.
Another point if you correctly guess the answer.
By the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and i get a
point for each one of those that our guests choose so each of us can score up to three points per
round it seems fair probability actually favors me the house the house always wins though if you've
listened to previous episodes you'll know that is not usually the case anyway our questions come
from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dugongpod,
which is linked in the show notes.
I can't explain how happy I am right now in my belly.
I love this game.
I love it so much.
Of course, as soon as I don't score any points, I'll be like, this game sucks.
Stupid.
But like, I just, it's so much fun.
You like to trick?
I'm so excited.
You're into such a treat.
All right.
The answer in.
Here's question number one.
What is a Mount Weasel?
A tool used commonly in car repair and maintenance.
A ceremonial decoration for horses made of weasel bones
passed down as an heirloom in Scottish noble houses.
A deliberately false entry in an encyclopedia or other reference work.
A stick used in lacrosse when playing the game.
An accidental appearance by a pet in the background of a nude selfie or video.
Or a Canadian jockey.
Ooh.
I don't know.
What was the second one?
Second one was ceremonial decoration for horses made out of weasel bones.
You're about to go do your show in Scotland.
Is that the kind of thing you've been there before?
It's the kind of thing you've seen over there?
Yeah, just not sure what it was called,
but I'm always seeing weasel bones in Scotland.
It's my favourite.
It's the first thing I do.
I get off the plane, I go get some weasel bones,
and then I go to Lidl.
Yeah.
So there's the weasel bones, there's the wrench, there's the tool.
Car repair tool uh deliberately false
entry in encyclopedia stick using the cross uh accidental appearance by pet and background of
nude selfie or a canadian jockey i think it's a canadian jockey locking in canadian jockey for
mish well no no that's too obvious because of no i've removed've removed it because of Mountie. I can't.
It's too obvious.
Too obvious.
Maybe Mountie means, it's short for Mount Weasel.
No.
Do you think of Mounties as jockeys?
Their main job is just riding the horses.
No, it's too obvious.
No, I can't.
That's half the job, being mounted.
Yeah, that's true.
Oh, my God.
Is that where it comes from?
Okay.
I think it's a mount.
I think it's a mount weasel.
I mean, technically, I think I'm going to have to give you the point.
I think it's the encyclopedia one.
Encyclopedia.
Lock that in.
I'm going to go with the first one, the car one.
Car repair.
It's not right, though.
It's fucking not right.
I love how serious you take it.
It's the best.
I was also going to think maybe I'm choosing between the encyclopedia
and the wrench one, but then I'm not sure.
Oh, they're the two that I went with. Who are you going to go? Oh, wait. Did you also go and the wrench one, but then I'm not sure. Oh, they're the two that I went with.
Who are you going to go?
Oh, wait.
Did you also go for the wrench one?
Yeah.
They just seemed like the longest as well.
Oh, okay.
Which seems like, although Michelle was tip-tapping away for a while,
but she could have been going,
to try and throw us off the scent.
We can discuss this openly what we think at this point, right?
Of course.
It's only Daniel to lock in.
I'm very sure that tip-tappy was naked selfie
with animal coming from Braz.
I thought maybe it was the bones
because I also watched her out of the side of my mouth
when that was read out
and she was the widest grin.
I mentioned it a few times.
She was like,
what was the one about the ceremonial bones again?
Let me read it out for me again.
I'm saying nothing.
Oh, I'm going to just go for it, even though I don't.
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
I'm going to go for a different one just to be,
because that way everybody gets a point.
If not, it'll be nice to give Michelle Brazier a point if I go for,
not that one, but the one Mish said was maybe her, which was the naked selfie dog one.
All right, naked selfie for Danielle.
Is that right?
You've added dog because of the context of me.
All right.
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
A Canadian jockey.
That was Danielle.
And I hadn't even thought of mounting.
There you go.
Yeah, your brain just did that for you.
Isn't that beautiful?
That's nice that when you're running on autopilot,
it just takes the wheels.
This works in the background.
I think it's a great bit of,
it would be a great slang term for it over there, I reckon.
Yeah.
Oh, the Mount Weasels.
That's the one I reckon I would have picked.
And I would have been wrong.
The stick used in lacrosse.
That was me.
Okay, can I just say,
when I wrote the stick used in lacrosse when playing the game, it's because when I wrote the stick used on the cross when playing the game it's because when i wrote the stick used in lacrosse i looked i'm like that's
too short when playing the game that's funny because i went for the opposite i'm always
writing out 45 words and then being like no no no no if it's short they might think it's legit. Fuck it. A ceremonial decoration for horses made of weasel bones.
That was written by Brian, a.k.a. The House.
Oh, my God.
The question writer.
That grin Michelle was doing was just enjoying it.
Just a funny little visual.
Brian slash The House also wrote the accidental appearance
by a pet in the background of a nude selfie.
So both of you think of Brian's writing and Michelle's writing as being somehow in sync.
There's something about you and Brian.
Something about you and Brian.
Brian from Fast and the Furious.
Rest in peace, obviously.
Sorry to bring that up.
That's okay.
It's pretty full on for me.
Mish went for a tool used commonly in car repair.
That was written by Michelle Brazier.
You got a point.
Thank you.
That means that Michelle, you are correct.
It's a deliberately false entry in an encyclopedia.
Oh, God.
It's going stupid.
Now I wish I hadn't decided to give somebody else a point.
So that means two points for Michelle and one point for the house.
Thank you.
Should I make a speech on that?
No, congratulations.
You should be very proud of yourself, Michelle.
Save your applause.
You've deceived us all.
You've lied to us all.
This is going to be a beautiful game after question one.
All right, that leads us up to question number two,
which comes from Nicky from Durham in North Carolina.
Nicky's question is,
what was the nickname of American footballer Doug Martin?
What was the nickname of American footballer Doug Martin?
While you're writing your answers,
here's some more info on Mount Weasels.
Brian writes,
the 1975 edition of the New Columbia Encyclopedia included an entry about Lillian Virginia Mount Weasel,
a magazine photographer who died in a chemical plant explosion.
But Lillian Mount Weasel never existed, and they knew it.
Why?
The entry was written as a copyright trap.
You see, it's very hard for reference works to prove that they've been plagiarized. but if they can entice a competitor to copy a fictitious entry that they've written,
then it's proven. The Mount Weasel entry was so unique that the name became synonymous with the
practice. All right. Answers are in for question number two. What was the nickname of American
footballer Doug Martin? The Cha-Cha Slide. Mr. Madonna.
Muscle Hamster.
Big Foot.
The Nebraska Rascal.
Or Big Wet.
Ooh.
What was the first one?
The Cha-Cha Slide.
The Cha-Cha Slide.
I like that.
Yeah, I like that too.
What was the second one?
Mr. Madonna.
Muscle Hamster.
Big Foot.
The Nebraska Rascal.
Or Big Wet.
The Nebraska Rascal.
Yeah.
Nebraska Rascal. That sounds like The Nebraska Rascal. Nebraska Rascal.
That sounds like a newspaper from the 30s.
Which means I'm going to go for it.
I'll go with Nebraska Rascal.
What was his name?
His name was Doug Martin.
Doug Martin. Doug Martin.
Doug.
Doug.
Doug.
Nebraska Rascal.
And what was the other ones?
Cha-Cha Slide.
Cha-Cha Slide, Mr. Madonna, Muscle Hamster, Bigfoot, Big Wet.
He played, if this means anything, he played in the last 10 years.
Bigfoot, Big Wet.
Bigfoot is one.
Big Wet's another one.
So all the names could be.
So we start with the Cha-Cha Slide.
That's because you'd slide over the figure, like have a little dance that you do.
Oh, yeah.
And then the next one.
Mr. Madonna.
Mr. Madonna.
Did he hook up with Madonna?
Is he a diva?
Yeah.
Like, and people thought of Madonna as a bit of a diva?
It could be like a sex thing with Madonna.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Or like, you know, isn't Madonna the name of...
The Madonna.
The Madonna.
I like to think like a sex with God.
Maybe he married Madonna.
Muscle hamster, you know, it'd be a nugget.
That's pretty funny.
Big foot.
It'd be a big kicker of the ball.
Nebraska rascal.
A bit of a rascal from Nebraska.
That's what I was thinking, yeah.
Nebraska rascal and cha-cha slide are really fun
and I hope it's one of those.
And then the big wet could be like a-
Piss his pants.
That'd be a big sweater.
Piss his pants.
Could be he loves, some footballers just love playing in the wet.
George St-Pierre's a UFC fighter and he got brain damage.
What if Bigfoot isn't about him being a big kicker?
It's because he's like had brain damage.
George St-Pierre kept saying UFOs.
That's such a nice name to give to someone who's a conspiracy theorist.
Let's just call him Bigfoot other than, like, big fucking idiot.
Bigfoot could be real, man.
You don't know the truth.
Then Bigwet, yeah, loves the truth. Then big wet.
Yeah, love the wet.
So I think we've only got yours locked in, Mish.
Yeah.
You're sticking with the Nebraska rascal?
Sure.
Danielle, what are you thinking?
Oh, I do like Cha Cha Slide, but Mooshel, as I call her,
she could have written that because of her Latino heritage.
I don't want to give that bitch another point.
I have to say that Nebraska Rascal is also quite brazzy.
Yeah.
Well, I do.
Those are two, they're my favourite two answers.
I will be clear with you.
They're my favourite two.
Which means one of them is hers.
Which 100% means one of them is hers.
It's like got to be, in my thought, it's like gotta be in my thought it's a week it's
gonna be weird because why would you write it in so mr madonna is weird muscle hamster is weird
but i don't know i i'm you know what i'm just gonna oh i don't know i'm just gonna bite the
bullet and decide to go with cha-cha slide because it's fun yeah and you know what then what it's
all right this is a friendship game and i can give michelle brazier a little a little a little
win for today she can have a little she can have a little win for every point that michelle brazier
gets it's like a little nod of acknowledgement to how hard she works in the industry
what i would like to do today i'd like to do what i would like to do today is one for one vote, one for Michelle,
one for Mish, just to keep the rivalry going for the whole pod,
to keep the tense energy.
I'm going to say it is Muscle Hamster because it feels unlikely and weird to me.
All right.
Can I lock that in for you, Michelle?
Here's who wrote the answers.
Big Wet was Michelle Brazier.
Oh.
Big Wet.
That's so funny to me.
We didn't talk about it.
It really feels like a nickname of a, I don't know, I just believe that one.
I bet there's someone out there who goes around.
By Big Wet?
Well, no one entertained it at the table.
Well, that's what we call the wet season in Townsville.
Right, the Big Wet.
Now I know that Doug the footy player isn't Big Wet,
I'm happy to take it on.
I quite like the name.
If you want to start referring to me as the Big Wet.
Oh, here comes Big Wet.
Absolutely soaking. You want to start referring to me as the big wet. Oh, here comes big wet. All right.
Absolutely soaking.
Oh, get your umbrellas out, girls.
Here comes big wet.
Big foot was Danielle.
Yeah, and then I tried to sell it.
But I think I did the same thing Michelle probably did, which was start with, yeah, I reckon a football is big something.
And then I thought, well, foot.
It's a big foot.
Mr. Madonna.
That was Mish.
The Cha-Cha Slide.
That's so good.
Was Nikki.
The question on AKA the house.
Oh, my God.
Here I am making Matt win.
Yeah.
As was Mish because I came up with the Nebraska Rascal,
meaning the correct answer is Muscle Hamster.
Oh, my God.
That's silly.
So is the rivalry we're creating between Michelle Brazier and the house?
Me and the girls versus the house.
These are my girls.
Big wet.
Little wet. Big wet. Little wet.
Big wet and little wet.
Rising damp.
All right, here's question number three,
which comes from Jennifer Welliver from Marshall, Illinois.
Jennifer Welliver?
Jennifer Welliver.
That fucking rules.
So good.
Where's she from?
Where's she from?
Marshall, Illinois.
Oh.
Shame it's not like
Shabba-da-babba-da.
Somewhere, yeah,
somewhere with a
Jennifer Welliver.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Jennifer Welliver's house.
She's got big wet.
Have you ever
caught the smell of her?
That's never.
From Kalani or something.
She's got the smell of her.
It's bad when you're
being nagged by big wet.
That's a fucking great name and I'm really jealous.
That's such a great name.
Jennifer Welliver, that fucking rules.
Jennifer's question, Jennifer Welliver's question is,
what world record did Zach the Horse Gordon set?
The horse?
His nickname's the horse, yeah.
Zach the Horse Gordon.
Yeah, it's a dick one.
It's a penis one.
I haven't even connected the dots there.
While you're writing your answers,
I'll let the audience know a little bit more about the Muscle House.
So according to Nicky,
it was given the name in college due to his short stature
and well-built physique.
He hated the nickname in 2015,
encouraged fans to instead use alternative nicknames,
which he suggested including Dugganaut,
the Dugganator, or Muscle and Hustle.
But it seems like Muscle Hamster is sticking still.
The Muscle Hamster.
Despite him going, come on, can't you call me the Dugganaut?
All right, the answer in for question number three
what world record did zach the horse gordon set longest distance ran backwards uphill blindfolded
for pulling a cart the length of arkansas most planks of wood broken between the legs in a
single jump men's shot put time spent underwater without blinking, or longest face on record.
None of them are about dicks.
Well, most planks of pinewood broken between the legs in a single jump.
That's true.
It's hard to picture it exactly.
It's got to be a penis strength thing for sure.
Yeah, that's a hard thing to picture.
So you have wood in between your legs, you jump and smash the wood.
Yeah.
What?
In a single jump? It does say between the legs? Yeah in between your legs, you jump and smash the wood. Yeah. What? In a single jump?
In a single jump.
It does say between the legs?
Yeah, between the legs.
So it's not like a, what's that sport where you run and jump over the?
I think it's like that,
only you're trying to basically wedge yourself on multiples
and you're breaking how many of you can break.
I think it's, you know,
like a karate chop with heaps of boards on top of each other
or bricks or whatever, how many you can get through. I think it's like that,, like a karate chop with heaps of boards on top of each other or bricks or whatever.
How many you can get through.
I think it's like that, only using your crotch from above.
Yeah.
Okay.
Then you got longest distance run backwards uphill blindfolded, pulling a cart length of Arkansas.
Men chop put time spent underwater without blinking your longest face on record.
The pulling a cart thing, Arkansas is so specific that length is so specific
i call a bullshit on that one because it's too specific because like also how would you do that
it sounds like man who went to space without a helmet and survived it's like, what? How? Oh. The length of, oh, no, wait, sorry.
I have to come clear.
I thought he was the only person who'd pulled a cart that was the entire length of Arkansas.
And I was like, where would it go?
I was getting so confused.
But he pulled a cart.
Yes. For as long as arkansas for pulling a cart the length of arkansas yeah i mean that could be i can yeah yeah that was the
house that wrote that hang on anything i want it to be the face one because it's funny that
his nickname's the horse because the underwater one and the shot put one don't
make any sense. Doesn't make sense for horses, right?
The horses. Oh, the nickname the horse. Yeah, but it could
just be the horse because for no reason.
That's what's annoying. Oh, I see what you're saying.
It doesn't make sense for the horse.
Yeah.
If you give up your
skill holding your eyes
open underwater, why would someone be like
start calling him the hawk?
Because when Matt started
talking he said he was strong
he was muscular and he wanted like
what were his other nicknames?
Dugganator
Oh no that was a different guy but I liked that as well.
Oh it was a different guy?
We're not still talking about
Muscle Weasel. That was Doug Martin.
Muscle Hamster. You got confused.
Was it?
While we were writing our answers, he was talking about...
Oh, you were telling us about a different person.
I thought you were telling us about this guy.
And I was like, all right, cool.
He's short.
He's strong.
He could pull a cart.
He looks like somebody who does not look...
He could pull a cart the length of a fucking saw.
Sorry, no.
I was filling in...
Okay.
But so...
So all we have to go on is the horse.
Yeah, but he could have that nickname for any reason.
Most people who set world records or a lot of them do multiple world records
and they find obscure ones that they can do.
Running Up the Hill one.
Blindfolded?
With Kate Bush.
It's a good song.
But also, oh, God, they all are just like, they're all annoying me.
Yeah, the world of world records is pretty ridiculous.
Underwater Without Blinking.
Read me that.
Longest Time Spent Underwater Without Blinking.
Not much more to it, was it?
Yeah, you pretty much had it.
The one that was about holding your eyes open underwater without blinking,
what was that again?
Read me again the shot put.
Read me the shot put again.
Longest Distance in Men shot put. I'm going to go Running Up a Hill. Running Up a Hill. Because I like the song. was that again? Bring me again the shot put Bring me the shot put again Longest distance in men's shot put
I'm going to go running up a hill
Running up a hill
Because I like the song
Was that backwards?
Backwards blindfolded
That's a very world record thing
You know what I mean?
Yeah if you're saying they're obscure
I mean they can be
But I mean
The Olympics
The Olympics also has world records
It's just
It could be anything
Yeah
The Olympics can be world records
Well that's what
The men's shot put would obviously be He's Oh yeah you hold records The horse set it in be anything yeah the olympics can be read world right well that's what the men shot put would obviously be he he's oh yeah the horse set it in the at an olympics or
something danielle you want to have a crack i don't know yet so he's like strong as an ox or
something strong as a horse could be yes or huge dick or long face or just good at holding his
eyes open in a bathtub yes classic horse that doesn't make sense that his nickname would be the horse
if he can be underwater.
But it could be nothing to do with his.
Which is annoying.
Yeah.
The question.
Yes.
Which is exactly what the house person who asked the question would do.
It's classic Jennifer Welliver.
Jennifer Welliver, I love you.
I'm thinking about underwater.
That's what I'm leaning towards.
But then if it's like something really simple, I'll be.
You'll be furious.
Furious. Well, Welliver. You can't be really simple, I'll be. You'll be furious. Furious.
Or well over.
You can't be furious at Jennifer Welliver.
I could never be furious.
I just wish I had a name that sounded so musical.
I just wish she was here.
I just wish she was here.
I was going to go underwater because I think they want to throw us off
by having nothing related to horse.
Okay, lock that in.
Yeah.
All right, locking that in for Danielle.
That leaves you, Michelle.
What are you thinking?
Well, I want to go underwater as well, but if we both go underwater,
then we might be given two points to someone.
I mean, I'm given all the points left, right, and centre.
I'm going to do it.
Let's go underwater.
All right, locking that in.
Here's who wrote the answers.
The longest face on record.
That was The House.
Men's shot put.
That was Michelle.
I knew that one.
She said, I was picturing short and stocky.
I was like, well, somebody's written short and stocky.
Yeah, I was like, oh, no.
Stuffed up.
Pulling a cart the length of Arkansas.
That was Danielle.
Now, were you talking about a really long cart?
No, I was talking, I thought that everybody,
because you know how they're always like somebody walked
from the tip of England down to the base,
and then I was like, I've worded this poorly when everybody read it out and nobody understood.
And I was like, my brain is fucked today.
I got it.
That's funny.
The previous question, he said, Mr. Madonna.
And Braz just went, well, that's bad.
All right.
And that's why you, you are winning.
I'll just go kill myself then, shall I?
It's not a good nickname for a football player.
I think we've moved on from it anyway.
I'm trying to explain why I didn't like your answer.
It's just not good.
We call it Big Wet because she was crying so much by the end of the podcast.
No, it's not that it wasn't good.
I just thought it was bad.
That's all.
I don't know what you're doing.
Then we had longest distance run backwards uphill blindfolded,
which Mish went for.
That was Jennifer Welliver.
Well done, Jennifer Welliver.
Yes.
Time spent underwater without blinking, which Danielle and Michelle went for.
That was Mish.
Oh, well done, Mish.
She's on the board.
That one was a good one.
Meaning the correct answer was most planks of pine were broken between the legs in a single jump.
I couldn't picture that.
I couldn't picture it.
It hurt my brain too much.
That's not real.
I'm going to have to Google.
Is there a picture?
I'm going to show you the video of it right now.
Oh, great.
If you explain what you're saying, I'll leave it in.
What?
Oh, he's going to jump.
What?
Okay, so he's suspended from a metal thing.
Oh, my God.
It's like a cage.
Oh, my God.
They've just dropped him onto.
Oh, no.
They've dropped him onto a fence of wood.
Oh, I hate it.
That's not a muscle thing. Fucking hate it that's not a muscle thing
that's not a muscle thing that is just the amount of force your balls go down
oh oh oh no no no oh my god no don't do it that's just somebody willing to do anything for a record
isn't it honestly yuck yuck yuck and apparently yeah, I think that's just his skill is he doesn't feel pain in his crotch.
He can take a beating.
That's why he's the horse.
I guess.
A horse famously good at taking a beating to their balls.
No.
Just because your balls are, like, the horse, I'm assuming, means that you have quite large penis.
You'd think it'd be better to have a small one, right?
The bigger target.
Balls of steel?
Is that like big balls, big balls, big horse, you know?
Holy crap.
I thought he was like jumping up in the air, doing a star jump,
and then whacking his legs together.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Just been dropped onto.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That seems like an accident.
I don't know how to describe that as a sport.
Who else is doing that?
That's so funny.
That is something.
It's so funny if nobody else is doing it.
He just did like 12 pieces of wood.
Just do two.
The record he set was eight planks.
Cool, man.
Wild.
He did that live on TV in Italy or something.
Oh, my God.
Question four comes from Eric F. from Sydney, Australia.
Eric Farrick.
Eric Farrick.
Eric Farrick.
Yeah.
If you're going to just give the initial F, we get to choose.
We get to choose.
Eric Farrick from now on.
That's so fun.
Eric Farrick from Sydney asks, what is the Moon Museum?
What is the Moon Museum?
That's a great question.
And while you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more info about Zach the Horse Gordon.
According to Jennifer Welliver, he is no stranger to competing on television.
The Harrisburg, Pennsylvania native has appeared on America's Got Talent, where he showed off his unusual and rather remarkable skill, being able to withstand repeated blows to the groin.
He has a background in gymnastics and athletics
before he gradually took more and more daring risks.
He was even the co-star of a stunt-based MTV2 series called Numbnuts.
All right, while you're still writing your answers,
let's go for a quick break.
As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors,
like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,
causing the risk of heart disease to go up.
Know your risks.
Visit heartandstroke.ca.
All right, the answer to question number four,
and it is what is the Moon Museum?
It was the first work of art to travel to the moon,
which included a picture of a dick by Andy Warhol,
a museum built with a set inside dedicated to showing
how the moon landing was faked,
a small museum set up in fast-forward peter moon's childhood home in yarum
victoria a berlin-based collection of david bowie memorabilia the first album of bjorn alvius
released three years before he joined abba or an ai generated interactive online art museum
supposedly situated on the moon showing pictures of moons being visited by other moons
supposedly situated on the moon,
showing pictures of moons being visited by other moons.
Okay, so nobody went for the bums,
even though we all wanted to write one about bums because they're going to be too obvious.
I started writing one about a bum and I was like, no, no.
And no, no.
That's hard because some of them are quite similar-ish.
They're all about moon museums.
Can you read them again for us, please, Matt Stewart?
Sure.
It was the first work of art to travel to the moon,
and it includes a picture of a dick by Andy Warhol,
a museum built with a set inside dedicated to showing how the moon landing
was faked, small museum set up in fast-forward comedian Peter Moon's
childhood home in Yarram, Victoria,
a Berlin-based collection of David Bowie memorabilia.
The first album by Bjorn Alvius released three years before he joined ABBA or an AI generated
interactive online art museum supposedly situated on the moon showing pictures of moons being
visited by other moons.
I really like the fake.
I faked the moon landing one.
Enough to lock it in.
Does it say where it is? Because if it says middle America Enough to lock it in. Does it say where it is?
Because if it says Middle America, that's it.
It doesn't say where it is.
We'll read the wording of it again.
Museum built with a set inside dedicated to showing how the moon landing was faked.
A museum built with a set inside.
It's poorly worded.
Daniel Walker.
I mean, perhaps
throwing shade on Eric Farrick here.
Just be careful. I would never
throw shade on Eric Farrick.
Simp what? Just me.
This man I don't know, don't give a shit
about Daniel. Pile on.
You can take it, little wet.
Big wet. She's a big tsunami.
Coming towards you in hate.
This is really hard because like do you
choose the moon museum or the moon museum or the dude from abba those are our options what's the
german word for moon because would it be called the moon museum over there it would be called like
museum i do that for every language so it's not probably one i guess because bowie's
english they just call it no bowie's the moon man. Yeah, right.
That also makes sense.
But I, is she the moon man or the star lord?
Star boy.
Star man.
Star man.
I think it's either the fake moon landing or ABBA.
All right.
But I'm going to go fake moon landing.
Let's lock it in.
Locking that in.
I know Daniel wrote it, but I'll lock it in.
Oh, don't give me a pity point now, now big wet to try and get on the good side
the bjorn one i go that's that's michelle showing her musical knowledge around maybe
no the bjorn one isn't me so sucked in which means it's not because braz doesn't lie i've
never lied in my life uh i think it is the i think it is the Beyond One.
Beyond One, lock it in?
Yeah.
All right, lock that in.
Just because I've been going last.
Yes.
And that's not very fair.
Yeah, I need to stop jumping in so quick.
No, I mean, go for it.
It's very big wet.
Classic big wet.
Classic big wet.
What do you reckon, Little Wet?
I've been to a space museum in Australia before.
But I've never been to me.
But I've never been to the.
But I've never, like, I'm like, that man, Peter Moon?
Peter Moon.
Yeah, actually, that was very funny.
Like, that seems like something.
But I'm also like, look, there's a fast forward museum.
That wasn't that long ago, was it?
Is he very famous, that man?
Well, Fast Forward was a big show at the time, I guess.
That seems crazy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is the idea that the museum is about Fast Forward?
It doesn't say.
Small museum set up in Fast Forward.
It's just set up in his childhood home.
Then he probably fucking has it.
And it's called the Moon Museum, so I guess it's about him.
I reckon that, can I change mine or no?
I don't, I'm scared.
Peter Moon.
You're going Peter Moon?
Yep.
If this was a ploy for Michelle Brazdy to get me to pick Bjorn,
she's very, she's thought that out very cleverly.
That would be very clever.
Well, then I'm going to go Bjorn because, yeah.
All right, you're going Bjorn.
I wish.
That's really funny.
Let's go through who wrote the answers.
If I would, I really hope Michelle wrote Bjorn now, kind of.
I wish.
An AI-generated interactive online art museum.
That was written by Eric, aka The House.
Moons being visited by other moons is really cute.
It's very fun.
A small museum set up in Peter Moon's childhood home.
That was written by The House.
Yeah, that felt like a mat.
Yeah.
I love Peter Moon's work.
When I found out Lena Moon was related to him, I was very excited.
Is she?
I'm finding out now. I'm finding out now.
I'm finding out now.
Lena!
Berlin-based collection of David Bowie memorabilia.
That was Michelle.
Oh, yeah, it was me.
Oh, of course it was a music one.
It was me.
And then we were like, you know, I was like, you know, Moon Man,
you were like Starboy.
I was like, yeah, Starboy.
Fuck! Fucking idiot. Is it Starboy? Starman, maybe? as me and then we were like you know i was like you know moon man you were like star boy i was like yes star boy fucking idiot is it star boy star man maybe star man
oh god uh museum built with a set inside, which you said was definitely Danielle,
was Danielle.
Yes.
My brain cannot put together any sentence structure today.
I could tell it was you.
I know how you talk when you're tired and I knew it was you.
That was the two things I've learned about Danielle today is how she writes
when she's tired and that she's really defensive of conspiracy theories.
So I was like that
combination i've done two conspiracy oh that shows my base level of brain too the next one
it means it's the flat earth society for um men from arkansas daniel went for the first album by
bjorn alvius uh that was mission anyway that means the correct answer is it was the first work of art to
travel to the moon and it included a picture of a dick by andy warhol wow oh wow i thought that
might have been braz thank you yeah i thought that one seemed like it would be the you know
the one that was like why the fuck would they do that yeah i would the reason i didn't go for that
one was because it said the first work of art and I was like a museum is not a work of art.
It's a collection of artworks.
Yeah, that's the stretch.
So it's this tiny little tile with six different artists
doing a tiny little picture on it.
So it's quite an odd thing, yeah,
and I think I did change the way that Eric Farrick wrote it.
So there's –
We made it.
Matt Stewart.
Sorry, Michelle.
So there's a Dick on the Moon. Dick on the Moon,. So there's a dick on the moon.
Dick on the moon, yeah.
They believe.
Dick on the moon.
That means one point to Mish, one point to the house,
one point to Danielle.
Can we have a point check?
Oh, I've got my first point.
I'm off the board.
Doesn't that mean you're on the board?
I'm on the board.
I'm off the board.
I'm not winning.
Your check.
Danielle in fourth place on one point.
Second place, Mission Michelle on three points.
But in front on five points, it's the house.
Still truly anyone's game.
But the house gets to do like a thousand different guesses.
This actually seems rigged and like absolute horseshit.
Although when Zach and I were on it, the house got zero points.
Yeah, I think I won the whole game.
It was the lowest ever the house has got.
But Zach and I were doing this very strange competitive thing
of trying to prove who knew each other better.
Zach won the game.
The house also rarely wins, I promise.
Shut the fuck up.
So it would actually be pretty embarrassing if you three lost.
Here's question number five from a mysterious listener called Walken Dude.
Ooh.
Christopher Walken, do you think?
The Wasteland.
Walken Dude from the Wasteland.
This one sounds like it'll be normal.
I got a little bit horny.
Just mildly, like hardly at all you wouldn't know
to look at me big wet got a little wet uh and walking dudes question is about star wars oh
fuck off and their question is in return of the jedi what is the name of jabba the hutt's
six-breasted dancer so there's a carry
you just got to come up with an an alien star wars character name who's a dancer for jabba the hutt
in return of the jedi that's the big slug thing right yeah yeah i've seen the lego sets okay
before i saw any star wars i saw um saw Mel Brooks' spoof of it,
which was called Spaceballs,
and it had a character called Pizza the Hut,
and he was like a big...
Oh, my God.
His tongue was a pizza.
He should have done a collab with Weird Al for, like,
the music for the film.
Oh, yeah.
It's pretty good stuff, I've got to say.
It does sound fun. What's the question again? I've got to say. It does sound fun.
What's the question again?
I've just been talking to you about Star Wars.
You've just got to come up with a name for a Star Wars character.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
And while you're writing your answers,
here's some more info about the Moon Museum.
According to Eric, Moon Museum is a small 2cm by 1.5cm ceramic wafer
that was said to be sent to the moon attached to the leg of Apollo 12 lunar lander Intrepid.
The piece depicts six drawings,
including the penis described in some places
as a squiggle made up of the initials of his signature
by Andy Warhol.
I don't really see how it's an AW.
It just looks like a real basic cock and balls kind of drawing.
Then Robert Raschenberg's A Single line david novross's a black
square with white lines john chamberlain's geometric lines klaus oldenberg's mickey mouse
and forest myers computer generate lines or computer generate lines it was the brainchild
of forest myers and uh yeah there's one i think there's a version of it in one of the big New York museums.
Oh, Mona, what's their one?
MoMA maybe or something like that.
That would have been nice.
Modern art.
Commissioned payday, wouldn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Imagine if someone called you and was like,
can you do five minutes and we're going to put it on the moon?
It's got to be tailored towards aliens.
So no local references.
That's actually exactly what you'd want for aliens.
Like if they were like explain the world to the aliens,
you'd want them to be like baristas in Brunswick.
All right, the answers are in for question number five.
In Return of the Jedi, what is the name of Jabba the Hutt's
six-breasted dancer?
Jabba Neera of East?
Yana Dalgagan?
Squelko Dilchard?
I hate stuff like this.
Walden Ding Dong Boonehead?
Jesus Christ.
Nova Numeria Nightbug?
Or Marby Grunk?
Oh, my God.
I think these are my favourite questions because you're able to...
It's just all gibberish and sort of...
Oh, this is stupid.
How am I supposed to remember what any of the answers are?
Can you read them out and I'll just see which one I like the most.
All right.
Jabunara of East, Yana Dalgagan, Squelko Dilchard,
Walden Ding Dong Bootenhead, Nova Numeria Nightbug, or Marbie Grunk.
I like Nightbug.
Nightbug?
No, Squelch, the squelchy one.
That was my favourite.
Squelcho Dilchard?
I like that you're going first again.
I love it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just talking.
No, I wish I was that way.
I removed my answer.
You were decisive.
No, because I actually don't think I want that one either.
So I'm not going first.
Go.
I feel like I like the first one or one of the last two.
I feel like there were some in the middle that sounded very silly.
But I think Star Wars is very silly.
So the last.
Jabba the Hutt is a serious name, Michelle.
So the first one.
So those three you mentioned there, Michelle, were Jabbanara of East,
Nova Numeria Nightbug or Marby Grunk.
Oh, can I go? Yes. Nova Numeria Nightbug or Marby Grunk? Ooh. Can I go?
Yes.
For Nova Numeria?
It sounds a bit sexy.
Yeah, like a dancer.
Well, it's a dancer.
All right.
Nova Numeria.
Numeria, six titties, baby.
Nova Numeria Nightbug.
Lock that in for Danielle, Michelle.
And I've gone first now.
Marby Grunk.
Marby Grunk.
I'm just trying to get out loud.
Oh, sorry.
Yes.
Dance for me, Marby Grunk. Marby Grunk. Is'm just trying it out loud. Oh, sorry. Yes. Dance for me, Marby Grunk.
Marby Grunk.
Is that the accent he does?
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
Marby Grunk.
Squelchy, squelchy.
I'm going to go with Marby Grunk as well.
Two Marby Grunks.
A couple of Marby Grumps in a...
That sounds like a cocktail.
A couple of Marby Grumps for us.
I'll get an over for the table to share.
Hold the squelch.
All right, here's who wrote the answers.
Jabonera of East.
That was Michelle.
Too sexy.
Too normal.
Too close to Jabba.
Walden Ding Dong in inverted commas.
Bootenhead.
That was the house.
Ding Dong felt a little bit.
Squelco Dilchard.
Also the house.
You could just lose your mind with this one.
That's what I like.
Is that what I went for?
Squelco Dilchard?
No, you went for Nova Numeria Nightbug, which was Mish.
Well, thank you.
Then Marbie Grunk, mish and michelle went for
that was danielle hey you're flying on the board which means the correct answer was yana del gargan
yana del gargan that's it's feels real good to say when do you say Yana Del Gargan now, I'm like, yeah, that's a dancer. But before you were like, Yana Del Gargan.
Oh, okay.
I'm like, Yana Del Gargan.
Sure.
Yana Del Gargan.
I have to say of all of those, I know Nova was mine,
but Yana and Nova, they sound sexy.
I didn't hear that.
Give me the point.
If I had heard Yana properly, I would have voted for Yana,
but I nearly voted for Nova and then Danielle did, so I didn't.
Yana Dal Gargan.
There's also an apostrophe, two apostrophes,
one after D, one after L, and Dal.
So I don't really know if I'm getting it anywhere near right.
But I thought because you said Yana,
it sounded like it had phonetic writing,
and so I was like that seems like it could be somebody really trying
to get it right.
Yeah.
The house or something. But it's hard. You can't overthink it, can you? No, you it right yeah the house or something but it's
hard you can't overthink it can you can't overthink it because you could go either way left or right
isn't that true isn't that beautiful and you've got a one in four thousand chance of getting the
answer correct i hated writing that answer i've never taken so long and felt so untalented in my
life i was like all right an alien name i knew nothing. I was humourless in that moment and I was like, this is going to
be fucking stupid.
And I still got a point.
That's two points to Daniel.
Jabinera is how it was supposed to be pronounced.
Oh, sorry. It's fine.
Jabinera. Thank you.
Sorry. What did I say?
Jabinera.
Jabinera. You really took the shine off
the little thing I put on the E.
You've got to write that phonetically.
Oh, you really do.
Like Marby.
Yes.
M-double-A-H-hyphen-B-double-A-H.
Marby Grunk.
You know who you're dealing with, Danielle.
Marby Grunk was great.
Well done, Danielle.
All right, second to last question.
Question number six comes from James from Southern California.
Hey.
Just like Arizona, my eyes don't...
Keep going.
James' question is...
Didn't give us a surname.
Michelle, I don't know if you want to give us one for James.
Ocean.
James Ocean.
Because Southern California, like in that song.
James Ocean asks,
in May of 1998, Frank Sinatra was rushed to hospital.
Why was he able to get there so quickly?
In May of 1998, Frank Sinatra was rushed to hospital.
Why was he able to get there so quickly?
While you're writing your answers, let me tell you more about Yana Dalgagan.
Yana Dalgagan.
Yana Dalgagan.
According to the Star Wars fandom page, she claimed that her name Yana translated to pretty.
However, her beauty was often hidden by the wart makeup Jabba forced her to wear, saying that it reminded him of his mother and sole parent Zorba Desiligic-Tier.
Fucking hell.
The normally slender woman was made to store as much water as possible in order to increase her girth.
Store as much water as possible in order to increase her girth. Store as much water as possible, big wet.
Trying to further resemble his mum.
And the actress who played her was Claire Davenport,
who I looked up and she appeared in heaps of stuff.
Had a pretty small role in Star Wars,
but she was in The Return of the Pink Panther, Remington Steel,
Doctor Who, Minder, Fawlty Towers, On the Buses, and The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer.
She was prolific.
Yana Del Gargan.
Yana Del Gargan.
I love to say it.
I reckon I'm trying not to do a Star Wars question every week.
I enjoy them so much, but I feel like it'll run out of juice if I just keep doing it,
but freaking hell.
She'd never run out of juice, Yana Del Gargan.
That's good stuff. that's good stuff that's good stuff i want to see if you can guess which answer i've done based off how poorly i am passing out someone called help hello friends danielle here i've
lost my ability to speak after we've done it I want to explain to you the way my brain was trying
to write it and being like, Danielle, you simply can't do that.
That's not going to work.
All right.
Here is question number six.
In May of 1998, Frank Sinatra was rushed to the hospital.
Why was he able to get there so quickly?
He had just been visiting his friend Dean Martin,
who had a secret tunnel to a nearby hospital.
He was already in the hospital as he was singing in the children's ward.
Oh, cute.
He was drinking with a group, including a police officer, who put his sirens on.
Traffic on the roads was light because everyone was at home watching the Seinfeld finale.
Oh.
His driver was already heading to the hospital with Frank Sinatra to pick up Frank's then-wife, Mia Farrow,
when Frank started to get severe heart pains?
Or he was at Michael Schumacher's party when he fell ill
and the F1 driver was able to drive him to the hospital in a race car?
Michael Schumacher.
Can you read the second last one again, please?
The one that's four pages long.
His drive was already heading to the hospital with Frank Sinatra
to pick up Frank's then wife, Mia Farrow,
when Frank started to get severe heart pains.
Okay.
So you got Dean Martin, Secret Tunnel,
already in hospital singing to the kids,
drinking with a cop who put the sirens on.
Traffic was low because of the Seinfeld finale.
Was already on his way to the hospital to pick up his wife.
What year was he?
98.
When did Sinatra die?
Is he dead?
Yes.
No, he died not long ago.
Okay.
I don't think.
Yeah, I remember.
It was in our lifetime.
I'm claiming we're all about coming.
When was the Seinfeld finale?
Because I love that answer.
Yeah.
He said 1998, didn't he?
In the thing?
1998.
The question's 1998, yeah.
It was definitely in the late 90s, the Seinfeld finale.
Because it started in the late 80s and went for nine seasons.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying.
Yeah.
So, Dean Martin, Secret Tunnel, Singing in the Children's Ward,
Drinking with the Cops, Seinfeld finale, Already on the Way
to the Hospital or Michael Schumacher.
Would he drink with cops?
He was kind of a rat bag.
He was a mafia boy.
Yeah.
I don't know if he'd be drinking with the coppers.
Yeah, it's unlikely there'd be any sort of crooked cops.
What you don't understand, Braz, is that cops are really good people.
They would never.
And none of the stories about them.
The Children's Ward one is believable.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Children, they love a crooner.
Oh, my God.
Children, get me Bublé.
Get me Sinatra.
He's there working his heart out.
They're like, okay.
Okay, old man.
Oh, blue eyes is coming?
I'm so excited.
That's going to cure my leukemia.
Yes.
Schumacher?
Drove Nair in a race car?
Now, he's...
No.
Is he Australian? Schumacher? No, he's German. Oh, is he's is he australian and shumaka no he's german oh is he
oh oh i've called him shoemaker i've gone michael shoemaker and he that's an english name he's
michael shoemaker and he works for holden australia that's what he is you're thinking of dick johnson
i only know damien power's brother just because it's...
Was he?
Oh, yeah, Will Power.
Yeah.
Mia Farrow.
They were married, but I don't...
I think it was before the 90s.
I reckon this is episode 45,
and this is the most people have contemplated the answers.
I'm loving it.
I'm so sorry.
No, I'm loving it.
I'm loving it.
No one's jumping in.
Well, I'm too scared because Big Wet jumps in real quick
and gets told off.
Big Wet makes a big splash. Yeah, Big Wet makes a big splash. I think it's good one's jumping in. Well, I'm too scared because Big Wet jumps in real quick and gets told off. Big Wet makes a big splash.
I like how you make a splash.
I think it's good to make a splash.
It's helpful for us, though.
It's not helpful for you.
Yeah, that's right.
You go on in first.
Go on in last.
You have a little bit more info.
I have thoughts.
I think the Seinfeld one is like that's such an interesting,
like I can imagine like the roads were going to be completely clear
in a really busy city. Yeah, and I i've heard and i think 1998's about right
that i saw a stat on a long ago actually where it's like a ridiculous percentage of people in
that country watched that finale like something just insane yeah that's the one that i'm like
if even if it's not that one it's because i've heard a fact like that as well it's like
if somebody's taken a fact from a different thing and tagged it on the end.
It was watched by over 76 million people.
Fuck me.
Like three Australians.
Yeah.
That is hectic.
He said, I love Lucy.
We don't have to go into that.
I'm going to go the Seinfeld one.
Why not?
What kind of information?
The Mia one is really believable, but I don't think it was the 90s.
I don't think he was married to her in the 90s.
Oh, he was a multiple.
He 100% was married to Mia Farrow.
Right.
But I don't know when.
And what's the Dean Martin one?
He had a secret passage from his house to the hospital.
I want that to be real.
Yeah.
Why?
Yeah, was he like a, did he have trouble with his liver or something
he just needed to check in at any point i'll go for that conspiracy reasons no i'm not gonna go
i'm not gonna go for that that seems crazy you know i think i want to go to seinfeld one too
because i've heard a fact like that before locking that in for danielle leaves you michelle
Michelle?
Hello.
My favourite, but the funniest one was the Michael Schumacher one.
So I kind of want to just vote for that one.
But I feel like it's probably the Seinfeld one.
Yeah, go with the one you believe.
We could be giving the house three points though, couldn't we?
I'm going to go Schumacher.
Go on Schumacher.
Although I feel like they're both probably house. That's the house, yeah.
They both sound house.
I'm going to say, what, Mia Farrow.
Yeah, I'm going to.
This is not a fair game because these people have infinity time
to craft their answers, don't they?
Mia Farrow.
Mia Farrow, locking that in.
Yeah.
All right, here's who wrote the answers.
He'd just been visiting his friend Dean Martin who had a
secret tunnel. That was run by the house.
And I like to say, Danielle, I wrote that when you
were writing yours, so I wrote it pretty quickly.
Okay, good.
He was already in the hospital as he was singing in
the Children's War. That was Michelle. That was awesome.
Yeah, that's really nice. That's why I had to write
a new Dean Martin one because I said he was visiting Dean Martin
in the hospital, so it was already there.
Yeah, I can't believe I didn't get any votes for that.
I thought that was-
I was close.
I was really close.
I'm going to get a vote there.
Danielle wrote he was drinking with a group, including a police officer who put his sirens
on.
I thought that was written all right.
I thought that was quite believable too.
I tried.
And then when I was like, I can't come in and be like, police are rats.
Police are rats and you can't.
Definitely vote for that one, Michelle.
The Michael Schumacher one, that was the house.
That was sometimes.
It's really funny.
It's like he drove him there in his race car.
It's really funny.
Please don't pick it is what I'm asking.
But it's really funny.
Like Frank Sinatra's on the bonnet of an F1 car. It's really funny. Please don't pick it is what I'm asking. But it's really funny. Like Frank Sinatra's on the bonnet of an F1 car.
Sometimes I feel like you deserve a point for
being funny. I like that
as well.
He was visiting his then wife Mia Farrow
which Michelle went for. That was Mish.
And sometimes you just deserve a point for being
smart. Well done Mish.
I've looked it up. They were married
from 66 to 68.
His wife in the end was Barbara Marks.
Yeah.
Married in 76.
I didn't know that you'd said a year,
so I thought I was being really clever by putting in a Sinatra fact.
I didn't know you'd said a year either,
but otherwise I wouldn't have pictured an old and decrepit man
singing to the children.
I was thinking, oh, yes, it's like the 50s and he's a big star.
I was like, there's this old ancient man singing for these children.
I think that's, oh, man.
Near the dawn of the new millennium.
Try me.
Imagine those kids grow up and they're like,
oh, yeah, I remember some weirdo coming.
Holy shit. I did not like, I remember some weirdo coming. Holy shit.
I did not like that.
So that means a point to Danielle for getting the correct answer
and two points for Mish for getting the correct answer
and being selected.
Oh, yeah.
Beautiful.
Oh, it's tied right up here leading into the final round.
Oh.
The scores.
Fucking yes. You're so competitive. It's wonderful. The scores. Fucking yes.
You're so competitive. It's wonderful.
No, no, no. I just love the final question.
All I care about, I said this last time and I mean it,
I just want to be on the board. And I got on the board fucking way
back when. Alright, no need to brag about
when you got on the board, Mitch.
I don't care about that. I just fucking love this game so
fucking much. It is a very fucking game.
So the scores go into the last round, which is worth triple points.
So it's truly anyone's game.
That's madness.
In fourth place on three points, it's Michelle Brazier.
Who is that?
In third place on four points, it's Danielle Walker.
In second place on five points, it's The House.
But out in front on six points is Mish Wittrup.
I take everything back.
This feels good.
This feels better than being involved.
Slip and slide and straight to the finish line.
This feels so much better than just being involved.
Come on, Big Wet.
Come on, Big Wet.
So Michelle and Danielle, you haven't played before.
So the final question, we always finish with a movie synopsis.
So this will be your longest answer.
We've got a short paragraph.
Oh, fuck me.
And this question comes from Kelly Clark from Malga.
Kelly Clarkson.
Cool.
Big fan.
Kelly Clark from Malga Mongup Maylands in Western Australia.
Oh, nice.
And Kelly Clark's question is,
what is the synopsis of the 1937 film Turn Off the Moon?
What is the synopsis of the 1937 film Turn Off the Moon?
While your answers are being written, here's some more info about that fateful night when
Frank went to hospital.
And as it turns out, it was the night he died as well.
According to Groovy History, Frank died that night while America was busy watching Seinfeld.
It was May the 14th, 1998, and all blue eyes was going to the great Vegas showroom in the sky.
Talk around the office water cooler the following day wasn't focused on the chairman of the board, though.
It was all about Seinfeld's bizarre and controversial ending, which found the show's characters arrested in a small town and put on trial for failing to help a person being mugged. The West Coast feed was airing at the precise time an ambulance was racing to Sinatra's home to pick
him up and spirit him to Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Traffic on the highways was therefore quite light
and the ambulance was able to pick up Sinatra and arrive at Cedars-Sinai in record time. He arrived
at the hospital around 9pm. Once there, the doctors tried for over an hour to save him,
but to no avail. His wife Barbara was by his side and reportedly he spoke his final words, I'm losing to Barbara.
According to James, he was buried in a blue business suit with a bottle of Jack Daniels,
a pack of camels, a Zippo and a roll of dimes. His gravestone reads, the best is yet to come,
which is the last song that he ever performed live. So yeah, he was born in 1915, so he was 82 when he died in 1998.
All right, the answers are in.
Are you ready for the final questions?
Triple points, anyone's game.
Let's do it.
What is the synopsis of the 1937 film Turn Off the Moon?
A slapstick comedy about Charles, played by Ronald Weaver, a scientist who has been hired
by the British military to block out the moon so they can attack their enemies under the cover of night.
Eccentric billionaire Barry Von Bundles can't sleep.
The moon is just too gosh-damn bright.
He holds a press conference where he calls for inventors
from around the world to pitch solutions
for the chance to win a large cash prize.
Despite reasonable suggestions like installing better curtains,
Von Bundles chooses Brant Munster's proposal to explode the moon.
Things get funny from there.
Victor Maguire, an infamous gangster in Chicago,
falls in love with Marlena, a travelling circus performer
whose act is to turn into a cat at midnight during the full moon,
a curse that was put on her at birth.
Knowing their love will never truly be able to flourish, to turn into a cat at midnight during the full moon, a curse that was put on her at birth.
Knowing their love will never truly be able to flourish,
Victor and Marlena share a week of passion together before she inevitably turns into a cat and must leave the town.
Can Victor break the curse
or will Marlena disappear with the circus forever?
I'd like to lock in all of the above.
A musical in which department store owner J. Elliot Dinwiddie
is an avid believer in astrology.
To win the heart of his secretary, Myrtle Tweep,
his astrologist tells him he has to be a matchmaker for another couple.
So Dinwiddie plays Cupid to pair up dancer Caroline with songwriter Terry.
Things go wrong, leading to farcical scenes
where multiple characters are arrested.
Can Dinwiddie save both couples' romantic fates before the moon rises?
In a straight-to-television film, a desperate attempt to slow rising tides by a Pacific
Islands committee results in an unlikely and ragtag group of national intelligence agencies,
including the CIA and their counterparts from Taiwan, Hutt River Province, China, Makiko,
Russia, Eritrea, Turkmenistan, Bolivia, Iran,
Kurdistan, Gabon and Armenia to work together to reduce lunar tidal variations.
Can this group of nations turn off the moon before Tuvalu drowns and becomes forever only
dot TV?
1937.
Straight to TV.
Victoria's in all the countries.
They love to work together. They love to work together.
They love to work together.
1937.
You know what they loved?
Oh, America and Asian countries big on working together.
Fix the title issues.
But it does finish with a reference to a domain name.
So I think that is more of the era.
Mish, did you not notice a date again involved?
Big wet.
Yes, we need to talk about tides.
Or finally, Detective John Grace falls for a troubled siren
and finds himself framed for a crime he did not commit.
He must delve into the seedy underbelly of New York City
to find the real culprit before day breaks.
So there's your six options.
Simply must read all of them again.
I'll try and give you a brief.
Yeah. So you've got the slapstick comedy about Charles, Simply must read all of them again I'll try and give you a brief Yeah, the first year
So you've got the slapstick comedy about Charles
The scientist who has to block out the moon
I like that one
For the military
Eccentric billionaire Barry Von Bundles
Who has
Who can't sleep because the moon is too gosh darn bright
Sorry, somebody said 1937
Barry Von Bundles did
It's gosh darn bright Someone didn, somebody said 1937. Barry Bond vandals dance. It's gosh darn bright.
Someone didn't hear the year at all.
Someone really heard the year.
So we have the Victor Maguire, infamous gangster,
who falls in love with the woman who turns into a cat
during the full moon.
So, no, it's fine.
You don't have the answers that you can give.
I was just curious about the plot. Like, why is it if she just turns into a cat for one night why i think it's
does he have to save her forever it's the circus not the moon no it's all it's i mean yeah
potentially i don't the whole movie's not written down here and i'm saying it but it says um
they they know that love will truly never flourish because of the curse she has,
I guess.
One night a month?
Yeah.
They're fucking every single night.
They can't have one day apart for the month,
one night apart for the month.
Oh, you've really found holes in this movie.
Sorry.
I mean, the thing is that movies often have holes.
So that's not a.
Then there was a musical about the astrology-loving department store owner
who has to pair up a couple so he can find love himself.
Or we have the straight-to-television film.
Or finally, Detective John Grace,
who falls for a troubled siren, finds himself framed for a crime
he did not commit, has to find the culprit before day breaks.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
But the last two seem equally believable.
I kind of like the last one.
Yeah, I was thinking about that one too because at least it seems like maybe he's like,
I'm going to be framed for this or something if I don't do it.
Kind of like that Netflix show.
I actually like, I think I'm going to go the first one.
Was that the slapstick comedy about a scientist?
Yeah.
I think I'm going to go that one.
All right.
Looking at him for mish.
What?
These all seem insane.
I think, yeah, old timey movies are often pretty silly that one about the astrology
to me made i i couldn't even i couldn't understand and i might be tired but i was like i don't
understand what's going on um i think i'm gonna go for the crime before day breaks the final one
which would have honestly been a cool title before day breaks yeah they should have called it before
day breaks turn off the moon that's not gonna stop the sun coming up yeah turn off the sun which would have honestly been a cool title, Before Day Breaks. Yeah, they should have called it Before Day Breaks.
Turn off the moon.
That's not going to stop the sun coming up.
Yeah, turn off the sun, fuckheads.
No offense.
Which is also where the moon gets its light anyway,
like Danielle was saying.
Like, come on.
Jeez.
Hollywood in the 30s.
No idea.
No idea.
I'm going to go for the musical.
The astrology one?
Yeah.
I assume that you wrote that one. No. Which one's going to go for the musical. The astrology one? Yeah. I assumed that you wrote that one.
No.
Which one's the musical?
I miss musicals.
The astrology one.
The one that you didn't understand.
It's weird as soon as you add musical to it, though, suddenly it's like, well, yeah.
It doesn't need to make that much sense.
We got the cats singing about.
Just because it's a musical.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, everyone happy with their answer?
Let's go through who wrote them.
Eccentric billionaire Barry Von Bundles.
He can't sleep.
The moon is just too gosh damn bright.
That was The House.
Barry Von Bundles.
Barry Von Bundles.
The House also wrote the straight to television film.
Kelly wrote that in particular.
So she wrote the question.
They can also write fake answers if they want,
and I use them sometimes.
I added the year into the question.
She didn't have that in there, so I really screwed Kelly over.
That's not fair.
I didn't realise I'd done it until you did.
You really made Kelly look like a fool.
Even as I'm reading it out, I didn't think of it.
But when you start laughing, I'm like, oh, dear.
I reckon about every three weeks, I really stuff it up like that.
That's so funny.
That means the house didn't get any points this round.
So the infamous gangster in Chicago falls in love with Marlena,
the travelling circus performer.
That was Mish.
Hey, guys.
I'm so sorry to pull that apart.
No, that's fine.
No, it's ridiculous.
I was trying to go with something ridiculous 1930s.
Yeah, well, that's where I went astrology.
I can fully see that movie.
I like it.
I can see it in my brain.
Then we had Detective John Grace falls for a troubled siren,
has to figure it out before day breaks.
Danielle went for that.
That was Michelle.
So three points for Michelle there.
Mish went for a slapstick comedy film about Charles,
who had to block out the sun.
That was Danielle.
Well done.
Thank you.
Two points to Danielle there.
And congratulations to you, Michelle, too.
Meaning the correct answer, Michelle got right.
It was the musical about the astrology-loving department store owner.
That's silly.
That's so funny, the one that made no coherence.
Yeah.
I'd sort of heard of Turn Off the Moon.
Oh, well, there you go.
And I was like, well, maybe it's a musical.
Right.
There you go.
Yeah, I couldn't find a lot of info about it.
Do any of these names mean anything to you, Michelle?
It's directed by Louis Saylor and stars Charlie Ruggles.
Sorry.
Eleanor Whitney and Johnny Downs.
No.
And it sounds like it was okay, but I got a 7.1 rating on IMDb,
not enough ratings on Rotten Tomatoes to get a rating at all.
And one of the reviews calls it forgettable.
Oh, lovely.
We remember it.
I want you to flesh out the cat film.
Sorry?
Yeah, I like that idea now.
I'm writing it down.
All right.
So final scores in last place, fourth place on five points.
It's The House.
In third place on six points, it's Mish.
Yeah, way to fuck it.
Do you know what it feels like to go from such a high to such a low?
No, I'm on the board.
That's all I care about.
Whatever.
In second place on seven points, it's Danielle Walker.
So out front, the winner on nine points, Michelle Brozier.
We all predicted it at the start, though.
A bit dry.
Because we won.
Did I guess Michelle's and then Michelle got it.
So she got six points at the end.
Exactly.
You really bookended your experience here because you started getting points,
then you were shit, and then you got points.
Yeah.
It's like marathon, not a sprint.
Yeah, you flew home.
Thank you.
And, Michelle, just for people over in London or Edinburgh
or around that region, where are you doing your show and whatnot?
It's at the Gilded Balloon at 7 or 7 7 or 7 30 i'm not sure but the internet does know
yes so do come every day except the 16th every day of my life except the 16th don't come on the
16th whatever you do and you like it when people come up and say they heard you on a podcast i love
it i love it and if you wear merch of that podcast or a podcast that i'll recognize to my show that
i feel safe and good and happy in the show if I see you come in and you're wearing merch of me
or one of my friends, I'm like, oh, yes, this rules.
They're going to be nice.
So you should make sure you buy some merch.
Buy some merch.
And then wear that merch.
Do you have merch for this?
I don't think, no, not yet.
Can you make some merch?
I'll make some merch.
Really quick.
I'll make it quickly. Check on mine. Google it. Danielle, not yet. Can you make some merch? I'll make some merch. Really quick. I'll make it quickly.
Check on mine.
Google it.
Danielle, where can people find you?
You've got lots of shows on the telly lately.
Yeah, I guess the Taskmasters are probably on Template
and then Gold Diggers on ABC.
And then I'll be back around doing stand-up again.
I'm not posting about it really because I've had six months off
doing other things.
So probably in September when I start doing trials, yeah,
then two months after that it's going to be good stuff coming out.
Come see Danielle in November.
November, December.
Oh, beautiful stuff.
I did a gig with you the other night.
You smashed it.
Crowd loved you.
Well, thank you very much, Matt Stewart.
That's very nice.
I'm just reporting the truth.
And, Mish, people can find you on your pod.
Anything else going on?
Nah.
Not even a little bit.
But I do have a podcast, Mission Zach's Leg was Amarama,
and you can follow us on Instagram at Mission Zach.
I was on an episode recently.
It was so much fun.
Brazz's episode's coming out this week.
You want to do our pod sometime, Danielle?
Sure.
Sick.
Yeah, that's kind of it for me.
Thanks so much for listening, everybody.
Hey, I cut out a bunch of the nonsense chat in between,
put it at the end, so stick around for those outtakes.
It's pretty full-on stuff that Misha said.
I can't put it on during the bite of the episode because it's libelous,
and I think that's a legal loophole.
If you put it after the theme song, then you can't get doneous. And I think that's a legal loophole. If you put it after the theme song.
That's right.
Then you can't get done for it.
That's the big wet way.
Thank everyone for listening.
If you want to follow us on social media, it is W-K-I-W-M-S.
Oh, no.
I know.
I've made a huge mistake.
That's a huge mistake.
I've made a huge mistake.
It's Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, but just the initials of that.
Because it's too long.
I should have done Who Knew It.
Anyway, whatever.
But that's what it is on Twitter, Instagram.
You absolutely should have done Who Knew It.
I've made a big mistake.
But please follow us there.
I don't think anyone can find it.
There's not many followers.
Anyway, give us a five-star review if you want to.
Why not?
Why wouldn't you want to?
And let your friends know about it if they'd enjoy it.
And I think they would.
And choose for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. What did I say? I'll start a review if you want to. Why not? Why wouldn't you want to? And let your friends know about it if they'd enjoy it. And I think they would.
And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It With Matt Stewart.
What did I say?
What are you doing?
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It With Matt Stewart.
Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart.
Goodbye.
Who have you been?
Matt Stewart.
Matt Stewart.
Do you have a theme song for it because it rhymes
oh yeah
oh yeah
I mean there's no lyrics but
who knew it
who knew it
who knew it
Matt Stewart
there it is
sounds like that
I'll lay it right over the music
Michelle do a harmony
but like high
do it operatic
while I go
who knew it
who knew it
who knew it
Matt Stewart
who knew it
who knew it
who knew it
Matt Stewart
who knew it
who knew it
who knew it
Matt Stewart
do you want to add something
thank you
we've been evanes thank you we've been
evanescent
yeah
we've been
evanescent
fuck
I love that pod
I reached out
to this twice actually
yeah
I didn't want to say that
because I didn't want
your fans to think
that you were a prick
I know I really apologise for that yeah you pricked out real hard because once you
got sick and then once you went on a holiday the holiday was sprung on me though wait did you get
hunted for sport did you get like a like a mystery holiday and you're like oh sounds good i was on
squid game season two it's awesome see i've gone my whole life without ever working in hospo.
Like I've never worked in hospo ever.
So I don't know how to make a cup of coffee.
And like when I moved in with my partner,
he had like a fancy proper coffee machine.
And I cried when he was like, can you make this coffee one morning?
I was like, I don't know how.
I can't make any of the coffees that involve milk.
Yeah.
Because I don't know how to do it.
I bought a fancy coffee machine to hopefully make Jono learn how to make the coffees so that he could bring me the coffees.
That's really smart.
Yeah.
That's a beautiful gift.
Yeah.
I worked in a hospital once and I got fired because I, at the time, I was 17 and I had not had an avocado and I didn't know what they were.
And I had to go to the shop and buy avocados.
And I went to the shop and I said, where are the avocados?
Because there was no sign saying avocados.
And I knew they were sort of green and I'm short-sighted.
And they were like, they're over there.
And I was like, oh, sorry, where?
And they were like, just over there.
And I was like, fuck.
All right.
And I came back with several zucchinis and I didn't work in Oslo ever again.
Oh, my God.
I didn't know what an avocado was.
I was so picky.
And you were 17?
And I lived in Wagga Wagga.
And we weren't having avo on toast.
In fairness, in Wagga Wagga, correct me if I'm wrong,
but they opened a Zambrero and everyone was allowed to leave school early to go?
I'm pretty sure you told me that,
that everyone left school an hour early so they could go to the new Zambrero. It was an exciting business opportunity for the town.
I wouldn't have known what an avocado was until at least 17, I reckon.
Yeah.
I think that's fair enough.
Yeah, it's fair enough.
I mean, Wagga Wagga, that was, what year was that when they were opening Zambreros?
Because it's not that much later than Australia needed a whole national ad campaign saying,
what is a taco?
Yeah, that is true.
That was a whole ad series.
What's a taco?
It was by Old El Paso.
But they don't really have, I think the corn chip tacos,
which then they introduced to Australia, they don't exist in Mexico.
No, I don't think that's true.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, the hard tacos.
Yeah, and that's all we had as children.
That was like the first one and then they were like,
you can have soft tacos if you want to be fancy.
I am partial to a hard shell taco though.
Right.
They taste nostalgic to me.
Well, yeah, but you can't, like people are like,
would you prefer hard or soft tacos?
You have to say soft because we're adults.
Do you?
I didn't know this.
Deep down in my little tum,
I really want a hard shell every once in a while
and I haven't had one since childhood.
I've only ever had one hard shell.
But I have a different background to you guys.
That is true.
Isn't that beautiful?
That is beautiful.
And that's your story.
My father was Zambrero.
Sorry, this is even crazier that you didn't know what avocado was.
Yeah, I can see how that would have been confusing.
I knew what paella was before I'd had a burger.
I had a burger first when I was 19 and
For the first time? The first time. I had a pizza when I was
17. This is not a Wagga thing, this is a me thing.
Yeah, I was like, so you had no group sport? Not me, no.
Nuggets, you just ate nuggets. I ate nuggets. I was a nuggets girl and I liked
carrots.
Yes, please.
Oh, fuck, I've been recording on my phone actually
to send Matt Stewart a voice message apparently
of the start of the podcast.
Recording and releasing it 24 hours before that does.
That's actually really good because it's a great backup.
Should have been really good just from my lap.
My mum used to play it.
When she was a kid, she played it.
It was called Dictionary, and they'd pass the dictionary around
and just flip open a page and go, here's a weird word.
What does this mean?
Fuck old people are boring.
What a fucking...
We're doing the same thing.
We're playing the same game.
Yeah, but we're sitting in a cool room with our friends.
Have you ever had a nickname that you wanted to stick
and it just never did?
I don't know.
I remember a guy at school started calling himself Maverick.
Oh, fuck, that's so good.
And it just wouldn't work.
He'd write it on the walls and stuff.
He'd say, Maverick, I'm Maverick.
Just call me Maverick.
No one's calling him Maverick.
Dave Warnock, he tried the same thing apparently he told us one time. He wanted to get up Cobra.
He wanted to be known as Cobra. He wanted to be known as Cobra.
Oh, that's so funny. Which has made me, I love it so much
that I do now think of him as Cobra and I'll occasionally call him Cobra. Hey, Cobra.
That's very good. I love that so much. Dave Warnocky, the Cobra.
I've been meaning to ask you, you called Jess something.
What's Jess's nickname?
Bop.
Why Bop?
Where did that happen?
I think it came up on an early Do Go On episode where I think she realised
that she had the same initials JP as the big bopper.
And she said that should be, and I think that's when I learned
about Cobra being Dave. That's very funny. And she said that should be, and I think that's when I learned about Cobra being Dave.
That's very funny.
And then, yeah.
So, and it just, for some reason that one did stick.
But yeah, it's a very tenuous link to it.
How sad for Dave.
He's like, maybe I can just start calling you Bop.
Dave's like, I've always wanted people to call me Cobra.
Bop sticks, but no one calls him Cobra.
Oh, I'll call him Cobra.
Yeah, I'll do it if he wants.
Hey, man, I'll call people whatever they want me to call them.
I don't care.
I'll call him Mount Weasel if he wants.
I want him to call, if he'll call me the Big Wet, I'll call him Cobra.
That's fine.
The Big Wet is fantastic.
Yeah, it is good.
It is good.
My boyfriend started calling masturbating because he likes to say,
like, you know, you watch stuff, you reference it sometimes.
He likes to call it, he always says, like, boppin' his baloney.
So now I just, yeah, it's a different way of thinking of Jess now.
She's boppin' her.
Boppin' her baloney.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, you wanted the real origin story
So she was bopping her baloney
One time
And I'm like Jess we really need you to stop bopping that baloney
We've got a podcast to record
And then it just stuck
Do you want to hear my shot put story real quick
Well it's not shot put it's dis discus, but they're the same.
Different.
Yeah, they're the same.
So at my school we had aft stay, right,
where you went and you did like your running and your jumping
and your discus and stuff.
And if you came first, you went into state
and then from state you went national, whatever.
You've described a very universal experience.
Okay, cool.
So we had our aft stay.
I'm not a sporty girl. I've never been a sporty girl. I don't do So we had our out stay. I'm not a sportie.
I've never been a sportie.
I don't do sport.
I can't run.
I can hardly walk.
But we had to participate in at least three.
It was like a rule.
So I was like, well, I'll do the ones that like discus.
So I went up and I've never held a discus.
I picked up the discus.
They told me how to hold it and I threw it.
Now, I don't know what happened.
I have no idea. is this is a typical
big web i have no idea what happened but i threw this thing so far that i beat my school record
i immediately got a blue ribbon it was like like first place. First throw. I've never touched one before.
Big wet.
It's going to stay.
Big wet.
Went to state for discus.
Now, I got into state.
This is all true.
I got into state and went to state discus.
Had yet to hold a discus again.
I went up there.
I was like, I'm like a fucking prodigy at this shit. Went up at state, picked up the discus, threw it,
and it went like maybe two metres in front of me.
I was just like, and I embarrassed my school so heavily.
But my name was on a plaque for record.
Was that your second throw?
Yes.
You didn't practice?
No, because I was like, I'm good at this.
I know what I'm doing.
This is not hard.
You've got to repeat the process.
I had a similar thing.
I thought nobody else in my school signed up to do Butterfly
at the Swimming Carnival.
And so it was just me and Shana Krillison.
And I beat Shana Krillison by like a half a pool.
And everybody at my school treated me like I was Ian Thorpe
for like six months.
Yeah.
Until I went to inter-school swimming and then they all beat me by like three quarters of a pool
and then everybody was confused by, yeah, why I was there.
And I feel like I've never bonded with anybody more than right now,
that feeling of a thousand kids in a stadium looking at you with pity.
But also the feeling when you win of all this crowd of people
that have never spoken to you. The sporty
people at school. And all of a sudden you're
accepted by them and you're going
to the sport lunches and shit
and then I did this shit throw and they never
spoke to me again.
Sport lunches? Yeah, we had sport lunches
at school. Was that also universal, Michelle?
We didn't have sport
lunches. But I will say that
I also went to state for discus.
Wait, we would have been at the same, potentially the same state.
No, because I was New South Wales.
Oh, of course, yeah.
Yeah.
You're Victorian state?
Yeah.
I mean, we've got a real state of origin battle going on right now.
That's right.
Yeah, we do.
New South Wales versus Queensland versus Victoria.
It seems like the only person here, though,
who was actually supposed to be there was Michelle.
Me and Mitch accidentally.
I liked athletics.
I thought it was fun.
But I, you know, I didn't get invited to the lunches.
I've only just found out about them now.
The only thing that reminded me of as a kid was for swimming,
you'd get divided up at primary school.
You'd do it for two weeks a year and you'd get tested
by the swimming teacher at the start of the fortnight
and you'd be put into groups from one to five or something.
And I was put into group one in like grade two, like grade straight.
I'm like, oh, maybe I'm all right at swimming.
I swim a bit, you know, or whatever.
And then at the end they said, just for a bit of fun,
we're going to do competitions between the groups.
And we just randomly pair them up.
And I got paired up with this guy, Jeffrey, from group five.
I'm like, oh, Jeffrey.
Oh, mate, this is pretty rough on you, matey.
Paired up with the number one.
But anyway, here we go.
And I reckon I was halfway down when he finished.
He just, he had this hectic style.
I had to sort of smooth it, but as it turned out, very slow stroke.
And he just hammering away.
And I was, you know, getting messed up in his wake anyway.
These are the kind of stories that help me be more humble.
I reckon, like, they're the kind of things that I could have,
it could have got away from me if I just smashed him out oh yeah this is my life i guess just uh winning races i i went for
a swim recently with um nelly white you remember nelly yeah and um she we went for a swim was like
after covid so we've been locked inside for so long and we went to the cobo cobo baths and um i
did one lap as fast as i could in the pool and made her time it and I asked her
what the time was and at the end I was like okay I've got to google the world record
and I was nowhere near just in case the base level you might have done a big wet
first go broken a record big wet I was so certain i was like that sounds so fast
am i swimming carnival i don't i didn't swim i spent the whole day because it was the day
my first swimming carnival memory is the day that backstreet's back all right came out
and i walked around asking everybody where did they come back from like where did you guys know
about backstreet boys before or is it just a saying? And I remember asking a lot of people and everyone was like, fuck off.
So I just want to know.
I care about music.
So funny.
Fuck off.
It's amazing that, yeah, your story is the only one that wasn't pool related for the Big Wet.
Yeah.
The Big Wet, she's good at discus.
Good on the dry. i've never forgotten it and i've never forgotten that feeling and i've been chasing it
i've been chasing that high ever since i fucking piffed that discus across a fucking oval
like thor picking up a hammer it was incredible it was really funny all right we're up to question
number four and And this one.
Okay, you said that with some sort of fire in your eyes
and said, shut the fuck up.
No, I'm not.
Just like I'd been asking you about Backstreet Boys or something.
I'm loving the detours.
I'm always just nervous that guests have somewhere else to be at some point.
Nah.
It's quite a peaceful podcast because there's these moments
of just calm, quiet in a room full of friends.
It is really nice.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I feel safe here in this quiet.
And usually if I'm sitting in a room meant for chat,
I feel like I have to keep chatting.
Yeah, it's true.
In those moments of quiet, I felt really,
and all of a sudden I looked up and we all just looked so at peace.
Well, it was nice too because with the headphones
and it dulls the senses and then you can just hear tap, tap, tap, tap.
Yeah, it's a bit of a little ASMR experience.
A little sleepy time.
And I've been on ASMR TikTok lately.
I hate ASMR.
It's real full on.
I've gotten into, you've got to check out crystal candies.
It's these people that eat sweets that look like crystals
and they make crunchy sounds.
I think that I might have misophonia, like that whenever.
Let's test it.
No, please.
Actually, it makes me feel really bad.
Oh, really?
What's misophony?
It's like if you can hear people chewing or an ASMR,
like that whispering, quiet running water.
Do you mind if I play this really quick for a day?
Yeah, but I'm just going to take my headphones off.
My friend has the fear of chewing so bad.
That was not chewing.
That's plastic.
No!
Can you stop it?
Yeah, I do like that.
Can you please stop it?
Thank you.
My friend, she got hit by a bus and her head was hurt.
Oh, my God.
And I went to the hospital to go see her.
Did she get a really sweet payout?
No.
She got no payout because she wasn't wearing a helmet
and riding her bike.
Oh, my God.
I know someone who was hit by a tram and they got half a million dollars.
Fuck, that's the dream, isn't it?
That's the dream.
Get that 96 on me.
They were in hospital. They were in hospital they were in hospital
for three weeks and they have a very cool scar not a gross guy it's cool from their butt to their
ankle they got i think it was like six hundred thousand dollars they bought an apartment oh my
gosh my friend got absolutely she got no payout she had to pay money she got a tiny little scar
on her head but she um i flew down to see her and her dad and mom came down too and obviously i was not the most important person at the hospital um but i was the
one i i got there first um from townsville and um that she was living in sydney and her dad came and
he he ducked out i don't know because we were there for days and um he bought like the biggest
bag of chips and helen she hates when people chew, and he just sat there eating the chips
and Helen had like the worst headache because her head had just been
whacked by the bus.
And she was like, Dad, could you please stop chewing?
I hate it.
And he was like, I'm hungry.
That's fake.
What are you doing?
And I was like, now is not the time to push the boundaries, please.
It's so strange.
I can't eat and I can't share a meal unless there's music playing or sound.
Really?
Yeah.
I've been watching Love Island recently.
In between watching ASMR TikTok, I've been watching Love Island.
And when they kiss in Love Island, there was one where they kissed
and it was the wettest and it was disgusting.
The sound of spit, the sound of kissing makes me feel sick.
Yeah, it's yucky yeah yeah yeah
so i had to do um like adr like recording for the show recently and we had to do like kissing
sounds and so i was just in the booth do you do kisses in the show yeah and i said i was then in
the booth trying to having to try and just go like and they were like bigger because we need
like it's better for it to be louder. So then I was trying to like.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
And I was like.
That's so funny.
That's such a funny thing to have to do.
I know.
I made them turn the camera off so there wasn't footage of me, like, macking on with my hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are you going there, Matt?
Oh, my God.
All good.
How are you going there, Matt?
Oh, my God.
All good.
So far, I just know I've locked in my fucking 2024 Melbourne Comedy Festival show title.
We're good.
I've got it.
I was on a podcast with Tom Ballard the other week,
and he was like, I'm really good at naming comedy festival shows.
And I was like, okay, name mine.
He goes, okay.
Sucks I'm this way. And I was like, I'm really good at naming comedy festival shows. And I was like, okay, name mine. He goes, okay, Sucks I'm This Way.
And I was like, that's really good.
Just Sucks I'm This Way.
Sucks I'm This Way.
Yeah.
And I was like, okay.
So I might do that.
That's great.
No, Big Wet's trumped that now. Yeah, I think Big Wet is awesome.
Yeah.
I fucking love this game so fucking much, guys,
and I'm so glad I'm doing it with you all.
So glad you're doing it.
It's so fun to have you on.
Matt, that's lovely.
People, when you were on last time, people loved it.
Listeners said it was such a fun episode.
Oh, that's nice.
And I asked people, who should I, recently, who should I have on?
And they're like, bring Mish back.
Hey. Bring back. Hey.
Bring back Big Wet.
Big Wet is back, baby.
That feels like that could be a Frank song.
Big Wet.
Big Wet is back.
Big Wet, she's back.
She's back.
Boom, boom.
Oh, she back.
So fucking cool.
The level in which, let's be very clear.
Ah, ah, nothing.
Don't say anything else.
Oh, yeah.
I'll edit that out anyway.
Okay, good.
All right, answering his question.
Like you're a dog.
Sorry.
Ah, ah, ah.
Fly me to the moon.
Was that flank, flank, flank Sinatra? Flank? I think that was all. That was flank. Did I get that right? Was that flank Sinatra?
Flank? That was flank.
Flank steak Sinatra?
That was flank. Point flank.
Gross point flank. Do you remember
when everybody, like your dad was like, I love
cold chisel and recently
Michael Boo Blake. Like when you were growing
up. That did not happen to me.
It didn't happen to me either, mate. My dad was like,
I'd listen to nothing but K-San.
But now, oh, he's really got that voice.
It's so true.
It's like velvet.
This makes some sense because Barnsley did a soul album
in between those two.
Did he?
He did it called Soul Deep and it was a huge hit in the 90s in Australia.
It was like the number one album for the year.
And it was like covers of croony sort of songs and so he created the market within australia for michael buble to
be the biggest i wonder if but that's like the barns he sort of weaned people on to
yeah that's crazy possibly just do you think he's the most played person at people's weddings
people love michael buble Surely it's Sinatra.
It would be Sinatra.
Celine Dion.
Oh, yeah.
Kelly Clarkson.
Kelly Clarkson.
You know that song that's like,
I don't stop.
Do, do, do, do.
I wasn't promising.
That one.
Yes, my dad.
He had his wedding recently
and he put my sister in charge of the Spotify to play the thing
and she couldn't work out how to do it,
so that song just played on repeat for the whole ceremony.
I will die every day waiting for you.
Actually, I think I might be about to sing that
at somebody's wedding in a few months.
That's so funny.
Just do it over and over again.
Is that the song, what's the song that they get married to at Twilight, in Twilight?
Is it that song?
That's some super massive black hole.
That's funny.