Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 47 - Nick Mason and Jess Perkins

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Nick Mason (The Weekly Planet) and Jess Perkins (Triple J, Do Go On)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew it matt stuart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is host of Triple J Weekend Arvos and the Do Go On podcast. It's Jess Perkins. Hello. Can you believe it?

I can't believe it. What a big get for you. It is a big get. The host of Weekend Arvos. Yes. One of the biggest shows. Holy freaking shit. Good for you.

Good for you Good for you I think that's the only time I listen to Triple J This weekend I was cruising around Doing chat laps Yep Windows down Just blaring out

A bit of perco In the afternoon I listen to breakfast With Will and Adam Oh yeah Yeah Yep That was back when

Triple J was good That's right That's right And it's changed Not me Exactly Thank you for saying it. Our second guest this week is host of the Weekly Planet podcast and is also the internet's

number one party boy. It's Nick Mason. I am going to just say the right answers. I'm not going to write the wrong answers. I'm going to write the correct answers every time. Because. I'm going to Google it every time and just provide the right answer. And there'll be two right answers.

That'll make it easy for me. Then we're going to fucking beat the house. That's right. Wow. Okay. We'll figure the system out. Hey, Mace, can you not do that? All right, fine.

And the way the show works is I'll ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Ready. Ready. Now, before we start, Jess, I'veess i gotta ask you you've done probably about a hundred thousand hours of podcasting with matt stewart yeah can you tell a matt stewart answer

like can you tell can you can you feel it you reckon i really can't interesting because here's the thing yes i've done about a hundred thousand hours of podcasting with matt stewart maybe a million yeah maybe a hundred million wow i don't know I'm not good at maths, but I retain none of it. Interesting. I'm not sure I could tell you three things about Matt Stewart. What colour are Matt Stewart's eyes? Grey. Yeah, no, that's correct.

Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not. Wait, guys. Now, what colour is this? Is it also grey? Grey. Oh, no, Jess.

No. Jess, you've got dog's eyes. You can only see in grey. Oh grey? Grey. Oh, no, Jess. No. Jess, you've got dog's eyes. You can only see in grey. Oh, thank you. Oh, no. So, you're not sticking with your normal strategy then, Maceo, of trying to win until you're not going to win and then pretending you're just here for fun.

I think that's what your strategy in the past was. That's usually what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think is the perfect strategy. I'm here to laugh and have fun with my friends, but if I'm going to win... I like to say from the beginning, I'm just here to have a bit of fun. I'm just...

I'm being a bit silly. Yeah, yeah. But then when I start winning, I'm like, you fucking dogs are all going down. That's exactly right. Damn right. Big dogs here. So, is that the same as yours or the opposite? No, that's the same.

That's the same. Oh, this is the perfect pairing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. This is going to be good. All right. So, here is the perfect pairing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. This is going to be good. All right. So, here is question number one. This comes from listener Samuel Limbery from Perth, Western Australia.

And Samuel told me recently, this is his favourite word. Oh, okay. Mine's glockenspiel, but okay. Yeah, so there's a little note section. Mine's whatever Samuel's is. There's a little note section where you can say, I don't know why I said recently. He told me recently, like we were bumped into each other. But there's a section where you can write a note and he said this is his favourite word.

All right, the question is, what does the Japanese word sujigiri mean? What does the Japanese word sujigiri mean? And while they're writing their answers answers i'll explain how the scoring works for the listeners you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guess the answer hey by the way i'm also playing as the house and i've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and i get a point for each one of those that our guests choose so each of us can score up to two points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house the house and the house always wins the house the house you have to honk the house yes i learned most words from my parents but the word house i learned from

my goose yeah house house uh house always wins so if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know that is not necessarily the case anyway Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dogoonpod, which is linked in the show notes. That is the same Patreon that supports many different shows, including the show I do with Jess Perkins called Do Go On. Also, the music show I do with my cousin, Listen Now. Also, Dave Warnocki's Book Cheat Podcast. It's an empire. It's a network. It's a network.

It's a network of sorts. There's one about monkeys as well. Yep. Sorry to jump in and talk about how we're a network before you said the monkey one. Yeah. I mean, the monkey one's on the way out, I think. I know you hate primates. I know you do.

I do. I hate them. All right. The answers are in. Here's question number one. What does the Japanese word sujigiri mean? To substitute another ingredient in a recipe to find the result is more sublime than the original. Oh.

Death from eating incorrectly prepared poisonous puffer fish. Oh. To test out your new sword on a random passerby. Oh, boy. A hug given in a time of need. Oh, that's nice. Or a small and harmless variant of a tsunami. Harmless variant of a tsunami.

Like a wave, I guess. A drip. A drip. Just one drip. Oh, no. That's a sujigiri. Oh. It's all right.

Don't worry. Sujigiri. Yeah. Can I have those again, please? To substitute another ingredient in a recipe only to find the result is more sublime than the original? I think it's that one. I think it's that one. Lock it in?

Yep. All right, locking it in. Maceo, do you need to hear any others? I would like to hear all of them because I've immediately forgotten all of them. Well, there was that first one with the ingredients. Love that. Then you got death from eating incorrectly prepared poisonous pufferfish. I think that's a stereotype, but it might be true because some stereotypes are true.

Or do you think somebody's watched that old episode of The Simpsons recently? That is also true. To test out your new sword on a random passerby. I think that's a joke one. And it might be Jess's joke one or Samuel's joke one or Matt's joke one. Well, the fun thing is, jess you normally know it's hers because that's the one she laughs at the most yeah yeah uh a hug while i'm riding it yeah while it's set out while you're thinking about it later i have a little giggle and go good job jess a hug

given at a time of need or a small and harmless variant of a tsunami i think it might be the hug one i don't think it's the sword one i don't think it's the sword one. I don't think it's the tsunami one. Because it's sort of like there's- It's Japanese and German you always find there are like words for really specific things. Yeah, right. So, it is like a specific type of hug or a hug given at a specific time has its own name. Or a specific kind of meal. Like, that's how specific is that.

And what was the second? What was the second one? Death by eating puffer fish. I don't think it's that one. I'm going to go with the hug one, I think. I would like to, regardless. I think what you've conned onto with this podcast, Matt, is oftentimes we don't pick the one that it is,

but we pick the one that we want it to be. Exactly right. I want it to be that you make some food and you go, I don't have this, but I'll just chuck this in. That's even better. Yeah. Love that. So, I hope that's true.

All right. Well, here's who wrote the answers. A small and harmless variant of a tsunami that was samuel okay at the house it's a good one that's a good one samuel also right wrote the one that uh may so called a bit problematic death from eating incorrectly prepared poisonous puffer fish did you didn't use the word stereotype that's the kind of word you would say though that's true i'm a boy yeah yeah it's the problem with that one is it's too problematic and it's too woke at the same time. Yeah, it cancels it out. Yeah, you can't win there. Yeah, it just implodes.

A hug given at a time of need. Oh, no. This is Mesa. That was Jess Perkins. To substitute another ingredient in a recipe, which Jess picked, that was Mesa. Meaning the correct answer is to test out your new sword on a random passerby. Get fucked. Wow.

That's crazy. Isn't that wild that there's a word for that? And then that's a thing that people do? Just to test it out. Yeah. Now, you're presumably going to explain this momentarily, but that's not recent then. Yeah. Because it felt to me like if you go to like an off your tree or like, you know, one of

those like mall, shopping mall kind of places where they sell the swords and they sell the like the pewter wizard and he's holding an orb or whatever. Yeah. You know, that's the, you buy that, you test your sword. But I guess it's more ancient. Yeah. I hope it's ancient. It's more ancient than what's new franchise. Yeah.

What's new is more ancient than you can imagine based on the name. So, that means after one round, it is the house on no points, Mace on one point, Jess also on one point. That's so nice because we both chose the wrong answers, but we both got a point. And you both liked each other's answers. Yeah. Nice. That was a great answer, Mace.

It was so good. Yes, I definitely would have picked that too. Yeah. Because I remember- But you both were right on that, you know, real specific English doesn't have a word for this. Yeah, we would just call it a camping hug. Because there's that term, and it's the one I can't remember, where like if you break like a pot or something, you fix it, but you fix it with gold and it looks better than it was.

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's fun. I can think of a thing like that. Yeah. I can think of a thing. Yeah, I can. Watch me.

People say I can't think of a thing, but I did. Watch me. Here I go. Question two. This one comes from Lars van Koevedden from Utrecht in the Netherlands. And Lars' question is, what nickname is scaffolder and darts player Mark Frost from Stoke-on-Trent known as? Oh. Mark Frost.

He's given you a few things to work off on this nickname. Yeah, okay. So, he's a scaffolder. Scaffolder, darts player, name's Mark Frost from Stoke-on-Trent. Okay. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on sujigiri. Samuel writes, the word originally referred to duels between medieval samurai, but during the more lawless Sengoku period,

samurai would apparently sometimes casually murder people to see if their swords worked as advertised. During the Edo period, beginning in the early 1600s, Tsuji Guri was outlawed. Oh, bloody nanny state in the 1600s. Just like European knights, samurai were perfectly capable of being dogshit blokes. In fact, the idea of both samurai and knights as shining paragons of virtue is mostly a romanticization and romanticization that occurred later everything

about the history of this word is unfortunately significantly less fun than the word itself yeah so you're right it was a while ago i was really hoping to read that and be like and it was outlawed in 2008 yeah they were like enough's enough i missed a bit of that i was chuckling at my own answer again. So, I'm going to look out for that chuckle when the answers are read out. No, I have a very good poker face when it comes around to it. I'll go, oh, that sounds pretty good. You should pick it.

Yeah. For no reason. Gee whiz, mate. If I were you, I'd be picking that one. I'd say stuff like that. Well, now I'm going to listen out for those things. I also don't think mine makes sense. So, maybe listen out for that.

No, that's great. That doesn't make sense. That needs explaining. Okay. Yeah. That one needs explaining. I reckon that's Jess's. Pete Sampras, tennis champ.

I don't think that makes any sense at all. That's his nickname. All right. The answer in for question number two. What nickname is scaffolder and darts player Mark Frost from Stoke-on-Trent known as? The exoskeleton. Frost Eye. Oh, yeah, nice.

Okay, that's good. The ice road chucker. Oh, that's fucking great. Frosty the throw man. Or dart of war. Oh, like Art of War. Yeah. I saw late-

Very late at night one time, like, professional league darts on TV. And there was a guy and his name was, like, Darth Darts or something. And it was set up like professional wrestling. So, they do a thing where, like, a camera spins around them all dramatic or whatever. And he would throw the dart and it would turn into, like, a little lightsaber. Oh, that's sick. So, they do a thing where like a camera spins around them all dramatic or whatever. And he would throw the dart and it would turn into like a little lightsaber. Oh, that's sick. So, yeah. Oh, my God.

He went with Darth Darts. Surely. No, I don't think it was Darth. Darth Vader. It was Darth something. I don't know. It should have been Darth Vader. Darth Vader is very good.

I bet Darth Vader was taken. Can I have these again, please? The Exoskeleton, Frost Eye, the frost eye the ice road chucker frosty the throw man or dart of war i kind of like exoskeleton yeah but it doesn't make sense yeah jess said hers wouldn't make sense i think to be fair mine makes a bit more sense than that oh interesting i think okay i think because i don't get exoskeleton. Yeah. I know what an exoskeleton is, but I don't see how it applies to being a scaffolder or darts.

Okay, I'm going to go with exoskeleton because I'm trying to will it into reality because I want to hear the explanation for what it is. Maybe it's because, like, if you're a scaffolder, you wear, like, a harness. Yeah. And you go down a building and maybe he's, like, he's the exoskeleton. So, I'm going to say that one. Alright, lucky an exoskeleton for Mace- for meso frosty the throw man is so funny but i also think that might be meso

or just like that's a made-up one but i mean all nicknames are made up yeah that feels very british what were the others frosty frosty the ice road chucker i'm going frosty like frosty i only just got Yeah Frost Eye though, because it doesn't matter Anyway Yeah, what talked me through Frost Eye? Well, like Frosty the snowman, his name is Frost Yes And then it's, but you call him Frosty, but he's Frost Eye because he's

He's got a great eye He's got a great eye Yeah So, that one almost makes too much sense Yeah Is that your problem with it? That's my problem with it. That can't be it.

Yeah. I'm between Frosty the Throwman and, oh, no, sorry, I'm between the Ice Road Trucker one and Dart of War. I'm going to go Dart of War. I don't think it's it. It's Ice Road Chucker. Chucker, yeah. Okay.

I didn't get it until you said trucker then. Yeah, that's what it is. And that's why I was like- It's quite funny. Did I not say that right? But that feels very- That is so funny that I've said that four or five times and didn't get it. Didn't get it.

But it feels like a- Because that feels like a very American reference. Right. And I think British people would go for something sophisticated like dart of war. Yeah. Wait, what is Dart of War? Like Art of War. Oh, I just, okay, right.

Sun someone? Sun Tzu, yeah. Sun Tzu's Art of War. Well, this is Mark Frost's Dart of War, if Jess is correct. Let's go through who wrote the answers. The Ice Road Chukka was Mesa. That was me. That's so good. That is Mesa. That was Mesa. That's so good.

That is very good. That is so good. I'm so sorry that I'm stupid. That's very good. I've said that to you many times and I'll say that to you many more. That's right. Frost Eye, that was Jess Perkins. Like Bullseye is what I was going for.

I mean, it made sense in different ways. It made sense in every single way. I would say yours made the most sense. Thank you so much. I wrote it out and went, that's silly. Dart of War, that was the house. As was the exoskeleton. Oh, my God.

I mean, the correct answer was Frosty the Throw Man. That's- Yeah. It's pretty good, but it's not. Yeah. Well- He should have got us in the room. Yes.

And spitballed some ideas. Come on, people. You know? Well, according to the Daily Star, he might have the greatest nickname in darts. Oh, firm disagree. Yeah. We came up with better ones, just like- Yeah, like that.

Never seeing him throw a dart. That's right. And we came up with better names. People are like, how did he come up with it? And he said, oh, family member. It's a good story. Was the family member a toddler? Yeah, the name isn't great, but the story makes up for it.

A thrilling tale. That means two points for the house that round. Oh, well. Roaring back into contention. All right, house. Yeah, come on, house. Shut up. Shut up about it, though.

A bit much. Yeah, be humble. Jess, I reckon if the house wins, we're going to be burning down the house. Big time. I mean, we set this studio on fire. Yeah, 100%. I mean, this is like my, this is my workplace. But yeah, let's burn it down.

Yeah, I think so. See, the thing is, it's not my workplace. Yeah, so. Yeah. Solidarity with the workers. I get it. Yeah. No, no, no.

I'll torch this place. Won't even think about it. All right. Here's question number three. And it comes from Adam Knott from Croydon in South London. And Adam's question is, in 1832,

what did American Hank Thompson become the first person to do? Oh, that's a rhyme. I love a rhyming question. 1832. In 1832, what did American Hank Thompson become the first person to do? And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about Frosty the Fro-Man. According to Lars, he played the World Championships once,

but lost to Gary the Flying Scotsman Anderson in the first round. Yeah, and Daily Star reckons it's the greatest nickname in darts, which I thought was very, very funny. It starts this whole profile about him. He might be the greatest. He might be the greatest. He might have the greatest nickname in darts, but then it goes on to say he hasn't even picked his walk-on song for the big game this week.

And there's a whole article about him still umming and ahhing about the song he's going to pick. I reckon if you just Googled darts player nicknames, the first one would be better than that one. Okay, let's try it. Okay. All right, we'll see what you think. Aaron Turner, and this is

obviously sorted in alphabetical order as a that's better that is better that's better you know what you're getting with that adam hunt the hunter yeah nice and the third one that comes up hunting for victory that's clearly alphabetical order adam goreless nickname flawless that's good and that's nice imagine imagine your nickname being flawless And that's nice Imagine your nickname being Flawless Yeah that's great I'd be like thank you so much You can picture him saying that can't you Oh look who it is

Oh Flawless in the building Look like he's going to hit a bull's eye Look out everybody Flawless is in the building Uh oh Flawless it I'm Flawless Alright the answers are in for question 3 I'm flawless, see? Arrow, I'm flawless. I'm flawless. All right, the answers are in for question three. In 1832, what did American Hank Thompson become the first person to do? Completing the Oregon Trail, traveling across the continent from east to west.

Defeating Abraham Lincoln in wrestling. Surviving the hangman's noose for 20 minutes. He was then set free only to be killed in a duel a week later. He's the first to use a handkerchief to blow his nose. I mean, maybe. Somebody had to be first. Yeah. How do we know where the name came from?

Oh, because his name's Hank. A chief. Jess. Or he invented the revolver And an accident In the testing phase Meant he was both The first person

To shoot it And be shot by it Damn So you got Oregon Trail Abraham Lincoln Wrestling Surviving the hangman's noose Using a handkerchief

Or shooting himself First person These are all very plausible Because I don't know Anything about history And I can't retain any facts. Same. So they all seem like it could be Abraham Lincoln.

I don't know when he lived. I think it's for me, it's between. I don't think it's Oregon Trail. But I think it could be Hangman Noose and or Revolver. I'm going to say Hangman Noose, but I think it's wrong. 20 minutes is too long. That is a long time. How long does it take really to just like cut the rope down?

Oregon Trail. The only reference point I have for Oregon Trail is like the computer game. Yeah. You played in schools and it was always like you died of dysentery. Yeah. I'm like, all right. Which essentially is just a nice way of saying you shat yourself to death. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like- Fun for the kids. That. Kids love dysentery. I feel like Oregon Trail would have been back further back. Yeah. Like, they would have done it already. Yeah.

So, what are my other options? Noose. Abraham Lincoln. Noose. Handkerchief or revolver. Let's not forget handkerchief. I kind of think- And-

Jess. I do not remember the Oregon Trail game at all. I think it was like text maybe and you'd go east, go east or whatever. Maybe I just didn't know what it meant. Yeah. The games I remember in those olden days, back when you and I were boys. Oh, yes. Do you remember Where in the World is Carmen, San Diego?

Of course I do, yeah. And there was this other one that was a zoo. And they were like- We bought a zoo the video game, yeah? Is that what it was? No. Yes, that's right. Starring Matt Damon.

Matt Damon, sure, yeah. Matt Damon. Yeah, that's right. Okay, that's different. I was thinking it was going to be Paul Blart Morco. So what was the- It's a zoo one. What was the Abraham Lincoln one?

He defeated- So this is all about Hank Thompson. Yeah. He defeated Abraham so this is all about Hank Thompson. He defeated Abraham Lincoln at wrestling. I think it might be Abraham Lincoln or the revolver thing. But I kind of feel like maybe they invented revolvers before then. But did

they invent Abraham Lincolns before then? No, that's true. Holy shit. I'm not sorry. Wrestling him as a baby. I want it to be Abraham Lincoln, so that's the one I'm going with. You don't think it's Hank Kerchief? Okay. This is your last chance to lock in Hank Kerchief. I shan't be Abraham Lincoln, so that's the one I'm going with. All right. You don't think it's handkerchief? Okay. This is your last chance to lock in handkerchief. No, I shan't be doing that.

All right, let's go through. You're going to look like such a fool in a minute. I mean, you could still guess it if you think that's correct, Jess. No, I really want to make so to guess it. Oh, God. See, one of these, somebody's going to pick the, there's going to be the perfect part. Nobody's going to believe it, but it's going to be real.

Anyway. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Use a handkerchief to blow his nose. That was Jess Perkins. Interesting. And his name's Hank, so that's- Can you bloody believe it? This mind is a powerful computer.

Can I be honest, though, Jess? Yeah. Until you did that, I would have kept it on the table as a real option, honestly. I'm like, I don't know. Maybe, you know, we've always had cloth, but maybe we haven't called it a handkerchief. Okay. Maybe. Damn it.

Yeah. Yeah. Until you did your theatrics. Yeah. I do love to be theatrical. That's my biggest downfall. First person to complete the Oregon Trail. That was the house.

And I had time to look it up when I was writing this. It did happen that decade, apparently. Oh, that decade. But it wasn't that man. I think that, I mean, I very to look it up when I was writing this. It did happen that decade, apparently. Oh, that decade. But it wasn't that man. I think, I mean, I very quickly looked it up. The House also wrote he invented the revolver and an accident in the testing phase, blah, blah, blah. And the revolver was also invented that decade.

Wow. Okay. That's a good one, The House. Survived the Hanging Man's noose, which Jess went for. That was Maceo. Well done. And M the hangman's noose, which Jess went for. That was Meso. Well done. And Meso was correct. He defeated Abraham Lincoln at wrestling.

What? Maximum double points there for Meso. Good stuff, Meso. When was- Because it's- I mean, it sounds that maybe, like, Lincoln was like- Lincoln feels like he would have been a wrestler, but maybe this was, like, the tail end.

Like, he wasn't the president anymore and people were just challenging him to wrestling. would he was yeah he was he's in the wrestling hall of fame huh what yeah it's the undertaker i think him and trump are the two u.s presidents who are in the wrestling hall of fame but i think trump i don't know why trump is yeah i don't think it was actual oh maybe it was what trump did a stone cold stunner on hillary clinton yeah So that's right I think maybe he's been in a few WWE things A bit more theatrical

Oh When he did proper wrestling When he was the apprentice Yeah The apprentice guy You know Yeah okay Yes exactly

That does make a bit more sense Alright But I do not know that Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln Nailed that Please Babraham Lincoln Babraham Lincoln was a wrestler That's cool.

Hank was the first and only person to defeat Lincoln in over 200 bouts. Damn. So, he was not only a wrestler, he was like a gun. A really good one. But do we know who first used a handkerchief? Do we know? I don't think we do know. So, can we rule out?

We can't rule it out. No, that's true. Yeah. So, I think I should get a point for that. If Mace is okay with that, I'll give you a point. Sure, I don't think we do know. So, can we rule out? We can't rule it out. No, that's true. Yeah. So, I think I should get a point for that. If Mace is okay with that, I'll give you a point. Sure, I don't care. I'm going to note that Dan won pity point for Bob.

I'll take it. They're all points to me, baby. Pity. Pity. I put my hood on. That's true. Because now I mean business. A hood over headphones, always a cool look.

Matt, I would like to leave because I'm afraid now. I've also got, just to complete the visual, I've got my hood on over my headphones and a blanket across my lap because I'm a bit chilly. You're a badass nana. So, I'm throwing a lot of messages out there and it's very confusing. You're like one of those really old mobsters in The Sopranos. Yeah. Like dangerous.

Or that guy in Breaking Bad with the ding, the ding, ding. And I've got a gun under here. Yeah, you have a gun. I have multiple guns under the blanket, but you don't know that initially. You think I'm just a sweet old lady. Well, you can't have given it away. What? When?

All right, we're up to question number four. This one comes from Matt Rowe from Stanmore in New South Wales. And Matt's question is, which of these is a real Wikipedia article? Oh, okay. So, you've just got to basically come up with the title of a Wikipedia article. Now we have to think of something. Great. Great.

You bring me here on your podcast and then you make us do all this work. Oh, my God. That's what I should call the podcast. This is like when somebody says, name a song. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. So. Which is also a regular question on this is like when somebody says, name a song. Yeah. You're like, I can't. Oh, my God. Okay, so.

Which is also a regular question on this show. Yeah. God, name any song. I can't do it. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Hank the Tank Thompson. That's my nickname for him. According to Adam, yeah, the only person who beat him in over 200 bouts, the 16th president of the USA was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame in 1992. According to Carl Sandburg's biography of Lincoln, Honest Abe once challenged an entire crowd of onlookers after dispatching an opponent.

I'm the big buck of this lick. If any of you want to try it, come on and wet your horns, he said to the crowd. And there were no takers. Come on and wet your horns No thank you No thank you Mr President I'm a maybe sir Hey while you're still writing your answers

Let's go for a quick break Alright The answers are in Here is question number four Which of these is a real Wikipediaikipedia article list of sexually active popes politician chair sniffing scandals oh god bees phalluses by species list of people lost at sea more than twice or douchebag disambiguation god those all could be real it's a beautiful space and there's no There's no I mean

We could have both Cottoned on to ones That we think are fake But actually are real Yeah totally The ones we made up Could be completely real That's true

I checked my fake ones Okay right I should probably check yours Say them all again Matt If you wouldn't mind List of sexually active popes I don't mind that one Politician chair sniffingiffing scandals.

Oh, that's real. Bees fallacies by species. Okay. List of people lost at sea more than twice. Oh, I like that one too. Douchebag disambiguation. See, that douchebag disambiguation would be like, well, here's the thing,

but it's also an expression you can call people. Yeah, yeah. But is that enough to... No, that's... That'd be enough for a page. Probably. Yeah. You're going first a page. Probably. Yeah. You're going first this time.

That is true. Okay, I'm leaning heavily towards, I think, the first one, which was... Sexually active popes. Sexually active popes. And then people lost at sea more than once. I like... See, people lost at sea more than once. That is...

It's not bad. But, like, a lot of, like, Navy people would be lost at sea more than once. Like, sailors, yacht people. Yeah. It's not bad but like a lot of like navy people would be lost at sea more than once like sailors yacht people yeah it's not that thrilling but it's probably real and it's probably somebody's special subject sexually active popes is funny yeah it is very funny it's very funny but sexually active popes i'm gonna go with lost at sea more than once all right locking that in for me sir what about you i'm gonna say sexually active popes so you're both in the same similar headspace yeah all right well let's go through the answers douchebag disambiguation that was the house and i've just looked it up there is kind of a yeah like there is a pay if you look up douchebag it says may refer to a device used to administer a douche a pejorative term for an

arrogant or obnoxious person or a 2010 film directed by drake doremus oh there you go so i guess i accidentally did a real one there sort of um but like you know i'm fired so it's you're fired this is our podcast now yeah bees phalluses by species. That was me. That was me. That's good. Politician chair sniffing scandals. That was the house. Oh, this is down to the wire. Which is it going to be? Lists of people lost at sea more than twice. Damn it.

That was Jess. And the correct answer is list of sexually active popes. Interesting. So, that's Maltobene. That's Maltobene. That is Maltobene. And I can say that as I am one 16th Swiss Italian. Here's the thing, though.

The house can only win points. Yes. Yes. That's just unfair. But you can only win points, too. Hmm. Hmm. There's no losing points.

That's true. What about a mechanism by which the house could lose points? Yeah, but okay. The players couldn't lose points. So, like, if Maiso chooses- No, if I choose Maiso's, he gets a point. What I'm saying is the house never has to choose. No.

That's true. So, it never has the opportunity to get a point. Yeah. I realise- So, we've got two members of your family man above vats of acid, and now you have to choose. I think either we've discussed it but i've heard of list of sexually active popes that feels like something dave warner has told me maybe yeah maybe it's a dave warner key special yeah because he loves a

fun wikipedia list and i might even be his second yeah because he always talks about the one inventors killed by their invention yes that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his favourite. So, maybe a list of sexually active popes is his second favourite. Yeah, it's got to be out there. Because I'd be fascinated to know what qualifies as sexually active. Yeah. Because in terms of popes, you'd reckon like once would count. But then it's like-

Right. But there were probably popes that had wives and stuff, right? Probably. Oh, who knows? There were popes that did some pretty questionable things. Yeah. What? What? Actually, we did a whole Do Go On episode about it.

We did. And I remember it really well. World's Worst Popes or something? Something like that. My favourite pope name you can pick is Pope Urban. Pope Urban. Pope Urban. It's just a cool name to have if you're a pope, I reckon.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the people's pope. That's right. The pope-al. All right. So, that is two points to Jess in that round. We're up to question number five.

This one comes from Dan Faulkner from Ramsgate in the UK. Jess, I've asked you before, what's your favorite kind of question on this show? My favorite kind of question? It'd be like a bird or a fish. And the question is, which of these is a real type of fish? Yes. I love fish names. They're stupid.

Okay. And while you're writing your answers answers here's some more info about the sexually active popes courtesy of that very wikipedia article celibacy was optional in the church until the latin church in 1139 voted to make celibacy a requirement of ordination and many popes had god-approved sex prior to this including saint peter considered to be the first pope however many popes have had illegitimate children and affairs throughout history, including Benedict IX, who is said to have sponsored and participated in orgies, and another, Paul II, who some suspect to have died while having sex with a man.

Wikipedia also has all sorts of funny articles, including a list of funny articles. Oh, let's have a look at this. Well, you know what Wikipedia editors probably think is funny? Dumb stuff. Not cool stuff like we like. Yeah, we like cool comedy. I don't know if you've heard of it. I mean, that was Matt editorializing a bit.

The article's actually called Unusual Articles. The first one listed is breast-shaped hills. And then there's just a whole list of hills that are shaped like breasts. Which is probably most hills. Isn't that not a hill? A hill is a... Or does it mean that it's like two hills, so they look like two boobs? Interesting.

Rather than one, like, boob from the side. Profile boob. Oh, my God. The answers are in. Oh, my God. I'm excited. Can't wait to hear some silly fish names. All right.

All right. Greg. Oh, Greg the fish. All right. All right. Greg. Oh, Greg the fish. I'll quickly change one of mine. All right. Here is question number five. Which of these is a real type of fish? The slick back burbler.

The rectangular trigger fish. Oh. Okay. Empty headed lace fish. Empty headed. Okay. Dumb. Dingle smacker. Oh. Okay. Empty-headed lacefish. Empty-headed. Okay. Dumb. Dingle smacker.

No. Yep. Or when the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie, that's a moray eel. That's very good. Or very bad. Nah, it's good. I've decided it's good. Can I have them again, please?

Because funnily enough, I have forgotten all of these dumb fish names. The slickback burbler. Slickback burbler. Rectangular triggerfish. That one, that one. Empty-headed lacefish. Also good. That's good.

Dinglesmacker. I'm going for dinglesmacker. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a morel. I'm going dinglesmacker. I don't think it... It probably isn't true, but I love it. Nice. And whoever wrote that deserves a point, pie. That's a more-ale. I'm going dingle smacker. I don't think it... It probably isn't true, but I love it. Nice. And whoever wrote that deserves a point, even if it's a house.

That's true. Dingle smacker. Are you kidding me? That's funny as shit. That's so good. Jess, have you... Dingle smacker. Is this yours?

No, you can't pick your own. I think you can. Not as convincingly as this. Dingle smacker. If I'd be an idiot not to choose Dinglesmacker. You can't choose your own. Interesting. I'm choosing Dinglesmacker because I wish it to be true.

What were two and three? We got... Two and three. Rectangular triggerfish and empty-headed lacefish. I like empty-headed lacefish, I think. Hocking it in. I'm hocking that in. I'm imagining it like a slightly see-through fish or something.

That's why they're calling it empty-headed. One of those deep sea ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love those ones. It's got a tiny brain or something. And it's got a white maybe. Yeah, yeah. And so, they call it empty-headed.

So cool. What's great about these ones is the naming of the birds and the fishes. You could just say anything. 100%. Just these lunatics out there. My favourite was a sarcastic. Fringehead. Sarcastic fringehead.

I'm like, you can't attribute an attitude to a fish. So, anything goes with naming fish and birds. I hadn't looked at it until now. Just having a quick look. It's a beautiful fish, but let me tell you what it's called first. So, we had the slickback burbler. That was Maceo. That was mine.

Slickback. It's really hard to say. It is hard to say. Slickback burbler. It was actually a real dog act there, Maceo. Slick back. It's really hard to say. Slick back burbler. It's actually a real dog act there, Maceo. I know. I did that in my mouth. Slick back burbler. That's great. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie. That's a moray. That was the house.

I almost thought that was Maceo, but he hasn't gone that silly yet. And I never will. He never will. He's a serious boy. He refuses not to. That's right. The opposite of that. Jesus. That's a Saran. Yes. It's a serious boy. He refuses not to. That's right. The opposite of that. Jesus. That's a Saran. Yes. It's a Saran answer, I think.

Yes. That's why I'm calling you out, Saran. Wait, hang on. Calling him out? Yeah. For compliments. That's right. The empty-headed lace fish which Maceo went for.

That was Jess Perkins. You like my style. Yeah, that's good. The dingle smacker. That was the house. Well done. Ding like my style. Yeah, that's good. The dingle smacker. That was the house. And well done. Dingle smacker. That's funny.

Are you sure that's not Jess's? That's the funniest. Dingle smacker. So what's the real one? I've forgotten. The real one was rectangular trigger fish. Oh, that's so boring. I nearly, nearly picked it too.

It's so beautiful. You're too plugged in here. Oh, that is a beautiful fish. How cool is that? It's also not very rectangular. I'll call it a diamond. I was really picturing more of a, I don't know why, but I was picturing more like a rectangle. Yep, you're right.

I would have called it the flat fish that's stupid looking. Where does it get the trigger name from? I guess I, maybe. It's got like fluoro green on it. Yeah, it's awesome. That's sick. And that blue line there. That is a sick fish. I think it's a fun name,. Yeah, it's awesome. That's sick. And that blue line there. That is a sick fish.

I think it's a fun name, but yeah, it's no dingle smack. I'm going to go snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef soon, and I'm going to see fish that look like that. That's what I'm expecting, you know? That is so freaking cool. That's actually the coolest. Thank you. Hey, actually.

Yes? According to Dan, the question writer, it's also known as the reef triggerfish. Oh, but it's from Hawaii. You missed your chance. I was just there. You missed your chance. I was just there a year ago. All right.

Here is question number six. This is the penultimate question. I always doubt when I say it, but I think that means second last. That's correct. It comes from Hannah's Nord from Cape Town in South Africa. And Hannah's question is, what happened on the 3rd of September 1967 in Sweden? Just Sweden in general. Just somewhere in Sweden.

What date was this? 3rd of September 1967. Yes, yes, yes, of course. Takes me back. Takes me back. And while you're writing your answers, Dan's given us a little bit more info. He did say the rectangular triggerfish is also known as the reef triggerfish,

but it is also the state fish of Hawaii, where it is called the Hamahamahamahamakanakapuas. Yeah. And in brackets, sorry, Matt. Hey, don't say sorry. I love that. I think you nailed that. I think that is clearly a better name than rectangular triggerfish.

And rectangular triggerfish is a fantastic name. So you can only extrapolate from that that I think Humma Humma Humma Kanakapua is a freaking awesome name. All right. The answers are in. Here is question number six. What happened on the 3rd of September 1967 in Sweden? A flock of large geese invaded the city centre, taking it over for 48 hours before locals were able to reclaim it.

No, the Sweden city centre. Yeah, that's what I was just thinking. The city centre of Sweden, yes. Off to a cracking start. Option two, a radical form. I reckon every, it's probably less than every three weeks, I'll have an answer that doesn't quite make sense. Anyway.

And at the end, we're going to figure out which one that was. So, I think that's cool. Option two, a radical form of daylight saving was trialled where the afternoon hours were halved and the night elongated so that every night 1 to 2 a.m. lasted for three hours. Option three, the entire country took the day off and it was really nice. That is nice. Option four.

You know what? It's not that nice because everybody would be out and everything's closed. Yeah, where are they at? Lines around the block to nothing. I hate it. God, you're a pessimist. Yeah, I know. Maybe everybody went to the beach.

In Sweden? Yeah, and they had a really nice time. Bell's Beach in Sweden? Maybe they just, like, hung out at home. Just one of those lovely lazy days. You know that time between Christmas and New Year's where it's a surprisingly long time and you don't really have anything to do, so you sort of, like sit around reading a book or like just go to, you know. Maybe it was like that.

Yeah, the Swedes don't have Christmas or New Year's. So, what are they going to do? Such an idiot. You're right. Yeah. Maybe they all just went to the city centre of Sweden. Yeah, and fought some geese. We don't know.

I don't know. How would we know that? I wasn't alive. Yeah. That's a ridiculous accusation, Mesa. Option four. They switched from driving on the left-hand side of the road to the right-hand side, which led to chaos on the roads and 157 accidents being reported. Or Sweden's prime minister stepped out onto an ice float to prove it could be driven on, only to be swept out into the river and lost without a trace.

I mean, that's grim if that's the real answer. But fun grim. Fun grim. This show dabbles in a little fun grim. Oh, okay. I didn't realise. I thought this was all just wholesome stuff. No, it's not all wholesome.

This podcast has pioneered fun grim. Yeah, fun grim. There's things that are fun and grim also. I think it's that switched over to the other side of the road. The left to right hand side? Yeah, I reckon it's that one. I'm not looking that information out. I think it's daylight savings or the, was side of the road. The left to right hand side? Yeah, I reckon it's that one. Walking that in for me. I think it's daylight savings or the, was it the prime minister at the end there?

Yes. What is the, sorry, what was the daylight savings? I'm going to go daylight savings because it's boring. A radical form of daylight savings was trialled where the afternoon hours were halved and the night elongated so that every night 1 to 2 a.m. lasted for three hours. So, you get more sleep. Yeah, I don'tm. lasted for three hours. So you get more sleep. No, I don't think you get. No.

That sounds insane. It's still the same amount of hours. It was a radical trial. 1 to 2 a.m. Yeah, it goes for three hours. So they're adding two hours to the night and taking two hours from the afternoon. Yeah. So you're getting more sleep.

Yeah. Yeah, that one. I say that one. Can you only go to sleep when it's dark? I don't think it's changing the darkness either. Ah, no, I think it is. They put up a big put up a big screen. And I'm not an animal

who sleeps during the day. You're not an animal at all, Jess. I certainly didn't go to bed at about 2.30pm yesterday for a couple of hours. It's called blinds, may so. Honestly, may so. But I do do most of my sleeping at night, yeah. Interesting.

Yeah. Well, how normie of you. 1 to 2 a.m. I'm usually asleep. Interesting. For how long? Three hours. You could be watching Rage. I could be watching Rage.

I just record it. Catch up later. Catch up my own time. As a Triple J presenter, you do love music. Oh, obsessed with it. And you get free access to Rage as well. Yes, that's right. That is a perk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like your name. I didn't even... Yeah, it's

crazy. My name is Perk. Can you get me a gig there? Where? On the radio. No. Okay. Have you heard your voice? It's grating. Yes. Well, I've told you about how I applied to do the radio course, and they said I got rejected based on my voice.

Yeah, and now you talk for a living. But it's okay. My brother, the very good carpenter, failed woodwork in high school. So, you know, nothing matters. Yeah, just don't buy a house from him. No, God, no. Whatever you do. Don't hire him for anything. So, you're locking nothing matters. Yeah. Just don't buy a house from him. No. God, no. Whatever you do. Don't hire him for anything.

So, you're locking in the radical daylight savings. Because it's boring. Yeah. And that's exactly the kind of thing that Hannah's Nord from Cape Town, South Africa would send in. Something boring. Something dull. Yeah. All right.

Here's who wrote the answers. This one's going to shock you and maybe even disgust you. Flock of large geese invading the city centre That was written by the house What? I'll stop you there Say so, no This is what gets me in trouble

I tweak their questions sometimes I tweak their answers sometimes So Hannah's question was slightly different And his answer was slightly different. I tweaked them both, not realising that it no longer made sense. Damn it. Damn you, me. The entire country took a day off and it was a really nice time.

That was Jess Perkins. Interesting. You didn't pick it. I didn't pick it because of all the flaws in your logic. Yes, as we previously mentioned. What, that people could have a nice time? Yeah, yuck. Can you imagine? Yeah, yuck. Can you imagine?

Yeah, I can. Swedish people famously hate a good time. That's true. Or maybe that was why it was a one-off. I've got to hang out with all these beautiful Swedish people. Gross. I think it's going to be the Prime Minister one. The Swedish Prime Minister one was written by Mesa.

That was me. That nearly got me I accidentally said Ice Float but it was Ice Float I don't know what an Ice Float was to be honest Great that was a good one Real Harold Holt vibes That's what I'm thinking right Radical form of daylight savings being tried

That was the house It even confused me and I wrote it That's so boring Why'd you do that It seemed to me like I wrote it. That's so boring. Why did you do that? It seemed to me like such a funny thing to do, be like, we're actually going to take some of the afternoon and put it at night. Also, he did the geese one, so he's probably like,

I'll do the wacky one and a boring one. And then the answer is somewhere in the middle. I do normally try and have one wacky, one boring. Meaning the correct answer is they switch from driving on the left to the right. Oh, my God. It's been a long time since I've gotten a point, and it feels good. Good stuff.

Yeah, that's right. So that was one point to Mesa, one point to the house there. Was that something to do with the EU? I bet it was. It's always the EU, isn't it? They probably bloody taxed the left, so they had to switch to the right. No, bloody hell. Taxed anything, weren't they?

All right the scores after six rounds with one remaining the house is on four points Jess is on four points Maiso is on four points Too stressful for me I don't like it I don't like it Matt take a point off me Oh what does that include a pity point that doesn't include a pity point Do you want to remove the pity point? No. And we always finish with a movie question, movie synopsis question, which is worth triple points. So, it's still truly anyone's game.

Oh, my God. I always say that, but obviously, even if it were one point, it would- It's absolutely true this time. I don't think the triple points mean anything when the score's level. But anyway, here is the final question. This comes from Jared Weber weber or weber 1b weber weber still say weber jared weber from louisville kentucky sorry they got your name wrong there yeah come on mate and jared's question is what is the synopsis of the 2005 french film

la moustache. I swept the... I swept... I swept the wazzles. I'm just... Something's going off in my brain. I can't... I'm Sat Mewitt and I swept the wizzles. Saying all the vowels wrong. Am I a New Zealander?

Got him. See, I'm back on top. Back as the alpha. Got him. Got him. So, the question is yes what is the synopsis of the 2005 french film la mustache or maybe in france they probably say while you're writing your answers here's some more information about the swedish switching of the sides of the roads did that pretty well yeah now that according to the 99 invisible website what happened on the 3rd

of september 1967 that day was a national holiday of sorts dargan h or h day short for hogger Short for Hogan, Hogan, probably Hogan Traffic Omlauginagan. Sorry. Hogan, Hogan, Hogan Traffic Omlauginagan. A.K.A. The Right Hand Traffic Diversion. That's one word, though. They've got one word over there for the Right Hand Traffic D for the same amount of letters and two umlauts on that day millions of swedes switched from driving on left left hand side to the right it was the most massive overhaul

in driving infrastructure that the world had ever seen till 1967 sweden drove on the left opposite from neighboring countries Denmark, Finland and Norway. Swedish drivers who traveled abroad got into car accidents because of their unfamiliarity with the traffic patterns as did tourists who came to Sweden. Additionally Swedish automotive companies made cars that were meant to be driven on the right so they could be more easily exported to the rest of the right driving world, but many of these cars found their way onto Swedish roads. Swedish drivers were thus seated closest to the outside edge of the road, making visibility bad. To combat these issues, the Swedish government made the case for switching to the right,

and put the decision up for a public vote. The response was overwhelmingly negative. People wanted to stick with what they were used to, but the government just decided to move forward with their plan anyway. Democracy in action. The Swedish government created entire departments to help with the transition. They designed signs and stickers featuring a new H logo, short for hygge, or right. They distributed pamphlets and PSAs and created special products, which included colored gloves and new headlamps, all designed around the switch. Sweden's television station even held a contest to write the best song to help people remember the imminent switch. The winner, Håll dig till huga, Svensson, which is stick to the right, Svensson,

by the Telstars involved a bit of a double entendre. In Swedish, keeping to the right is shorthand for being faithful to your spouse, while going left means having an affair. On September 3rd, 1967, H-Day, the country was ready. In the hours leading up to the changeover, most cars were kept off the road for construction crews to switch the roadsides and perform their final infrastructural tweaks. At 4.50am, a horn blared and a loudspeaker announced, now is the time to change over. The new road signs were revealed and the cars rerouted to the opposite side. Remarkably, HTA went very smoothly, thanks in part to drivers displaying excessive caution in the face of what was presumably a terrifying shift. Alright, the answers are in. Here's the final question.

What is the synopsis of the 2005 French film La Moustache? All right, Marisa, here we go. Here we go. Here we bloody go. Here we go. It's a thriller about a man who shaves off his moustache and begins to question his sanity when he can't get anyone to notice. Going from an absurdly comical premise to a strange paranoid thriller,

La Moustache keeps you guessing. Did Mark have a moustache and is the victim of an elaborate practical joke? Is he going insane? What else in his life isn't real? He can't get people to notice that he shaved his moustache. Yeah. Get over yourself. Yeah, come on, mate.

People have got their own stuff going on, you know. But also, like, I don't care that much about your facial hair. If I shaved my moustache, yes, would you notice, you think? I would notice. But, like... If don't care that much about your facial hair. If I shaved my moustache, yes, would you notice, you think? I would notice, but, like... If you had a walrus lip? I think it would be so weird if you're like, nobody said anything! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you'd just have a full meltdown. Anyway, that's option number one. Option two, a teenage boy is teased for his lack of facial hair and his peers imply he hasn't hit puberty. Defiantly, he grows a moustache and finds that not only does he win his schoolmate's respect, he also finds himself... Ooh i love when they find themselves it's like it's the friends that they made along the way that's that era of like feels like that era of like uh you know like coming of

age movies yeah yeah i think there was a big boom of those yeah uh yeah the indie sort of ones yeah yeah like boy and so forth juno juno yeso. Is that like that? Yes. Sure. Yeah, that's right. Option three, a horror film about a chef whose evil mustache compels him to murder angry customers. Stop right there. I'm picking that one. Just kidding. I'm not. His calling card was cutting a bloody mustache above his victim's top lip.

Okay, stop right there. I'm picking that one. Just kidding. I'm not. I don't like that. I don't like that. Stop right there on picking that one. Just kidding, I'm not.

I don't like that. I don't like that. Option four, a spy thriller about a secret agent tasked with retrieving a fake mustache that contains a hidden microfilm containing the plans for a French nuclear weapon before it falls into the hands of Soviet spies. There's a microfilm in a mustache. Inside a fake mustache, yeah. That feels very French, though. Doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, we think of the French as sophisticated, but then all their movies are like, bleh, you know? Yeah. Le bleu. Le bleu, they say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I knew it was pretty French when it says there was plans for a French nuclear weapon as well. Yeah, that's what got that away. I'm like, ooh, that's French. They love that. They love it. They love it. Now, hold on a second.

Yeah, that's right. That is French. I was wondering how, this doesn't seem that, oh, sorry. Yeah. I love a billet. Now, hold on a second. Yeah, that's right. That is French. I was wondering how... This doesn't seem that... Oh, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Did the one about the teenager say anything about France?

Let me check. No. His name's Chocolate Eclair. The boy's name is Chocolate Eclair. But don't worry about this one. It's French right off the bat. Gerard Depardieu is a car salesman with little success in business or love, who grows a moustache on a bet, Gerard Depardieu is a car salesman with little success in business or love

who grows a moustache on a bet only to find that his sales boom and success with the opposite sex increases. Because of a moustache. Yes. I think getting rid of the moustache would do more. In 2005. Yeah. Different time.

Hipster paradise then. But a bit of a twist at the end here. Until he gets mixed up with a gangster's wife too sexy is the problem there i think that's a good one jared deborjoo with a mustache okay can we have a summary of them again please yep the with a little less attitude if you want oh yeah the thriller where a man shaves off his mustache but no one notices and he loses his mind. Teenage boy teased for a lack of facial hair, then he grows it, becomes respected by his schoolmates. Also finds himself. Chocolate or clay.

Chocolate or clay. A horror film about a chef whose evil mustache compels him to murder. I just don't want it to be that one. Would you pick at that? No. Interesting. A spy thriller about the agent tasked with retrieving a fake mustache because it's got plans for a French nuclear weapon. Interesting. A spy thriller about the agent tasked with retrieving a fake mustache because it's got plans for a French nuclear weapon.

Oh. Or Gerard Depardieu grows a mustache and his sales boom and also does his boner. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm paraphrasing there. So does his success with the opposite sex. Which is, yeah. Until he gets mixed up with the gangster's wife.

I kind of like the French nuclear weapon one. Okay. Because when it gets, remember they did the remake of Get Smart? Yeah. Yep. Is that around the same amount of time? I reckon, yeah. I reckon similar.

Sorry. You're doing the voice where you made it up, Jess. You're doing the voice. I'm trying to answer your question. You're doing the voice Where you made it up Jess I'm trying You're doing the voice I'm trying to answer your question You're doing the voice Where you're trying to trick me You're doing your trick me voice Jess

I don't know 2008 But it feels Oh okay right Well then no actually This was like 2005 Yeah but what I'm saying Is I think

If anything If anything I would have said Okay Get Smart was Somewhat successful And they went Oh let's do a French version Of that Gotcha okay Okay I don't think it's i don't think it's the one that jess made up which is the

one before that i think the horror film about horror film i don't think it's that one i think it might be i think it might be the coming of age the boy okay or the first one the guy shaves off his mustache no one notices yeah yeah yeah or chocolate because again that feels very french i'm thinking like do you remember when did the dub oh my god when did the double come out i know that's not french it's jesse eisenberg and he's a oh the one about facebook yes that there's a there's a there's a jesse eisenberg movie where he plays like salisa yes that's the one. Where he is- 2013.

Oh, okay. British black comedy thriller? Yeah, yeah. But that's the one where it's just, he works in an office and then a guy shows up and it's just him and nobody else notices. Oh, I hate that. And he's like, is this the same? And everybody's like, no, he's not.

And it's like similar vibes, but like 10 years earlier. There's a new film preview I saw coming out. Who's the guy from that ad agency show? From the old movie. Mad Men. Mad Men. The Mad Men guy. Jon Hamm.

Jon Hamm. I was going to say it was like Greg Jug or something. Greg Jug. Jon Hamm. He's in it and he's working at this office and he finds this room and he's working in this room. I've seen the trailer for that, yeah. And everyone's like, there is no room. It vaguely sounds like what you just said.

I'm going to go with the first one. I think there's enough room for insane things about it. Like, I think I did this. Did John Hamm talk you into that? John Hamm kind of. Or Greg Jug? Greg Jug kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Greg Jug. So, you're picking that over the- Over the boy. The boy. That feels to me more like an Australian film. A boy who grows a mustache and learns a lesson about life or whatever. But think about it if the boy is going, hey, I'm a boy. And I'm imagining a curly mustache.

I'm also imagining it in black and white. Okay, yeah, yeah, nice. So, are you picking that one? No. I'm picking the first one also. Ooh, okay. Locking that in for Jess. That means...

We can do this. I believe in us. And then we combine our scores and then we kill the house. Yes, we burn it. We burn the house. We burn the house. Wait, did we burn? No, I was going to burn the house if we lost.

But I guess we can burn the house if we win. Yeah. Yeah, okay, great. So, I burn either way? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Big win. Yeah. Yeah, okay, great. So, I burn either way? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Big time. Yeah. Well, I was thinking I could doctor the scores here, but if I'm going to die either way, I'll just do it as is. That's the honourable thing to do. Yeah. Here's who wrote the answers. Gerard Depardieu is a car salesman who gets a moustache and gets more success.

That was me, sir. That was me. That's really funny. I love. I don't know if Gerard Depardieu is still acting in 2005. I think more success. That was me. That was me. That's really funny. I love. I don't know if Gerard Depardieu is still acting in 2005. I hope so. I hope so. Definitely.

Come on. Come on. Let me. Gerard Depardieu. He's in Godzilla. No, that's Jean Reno. That's who I figured out. Oh, he's the professional.

Is that him? Yes. Gerard him? Yes. Gerard Depardieu. If I think France, I think Gerard Depardieu. I.e. the only name I could think of until you mentioned Jean Reno, in which case I would have picked Jean Reno. That's who I think of. Tina Arena. Is she the one who got big over there?

Yeah, I think so. What year was... Okay. Was it 2005? Our Tina. Yeah, I think so. What year was... Okay. Was it 2005? Our Tina.

In the year 2005, Gerard Depardieu was in Olay as Francois Weber. All right. Okay, so... Okay, so that's plausible. Actually, it was in a lot of films. No one picked it, but it's plausible. It was also in Let's Be Friends. Okay, I could not for the life of me picture Gerard Depardieu, but now I can.

Now you can. I was thinking of... Who? Jean Reno? Jean Reno is who I was thinking of, yes. I remember my aunties finding him. He was like a real sex symbol in the 90s. He was in a movie called Green Card, I recall.

Anyways, the spy thriller about a secret agent with the French nuclear weapon, etc. That was written by The House. That's not bad. That was pretty good. Your aunties found that really sexy. I might be misremembering. Maybe he's sexier in motion. And probably the accent definitely plays its role.

Maybe he's sexier when he's obelix. Yes. When I say The House, that was Jared in particular who wrote that one. Good work, Jared. The horror film about the chef whose evil mustache compels him to murder angry customers. That was also Jared. I had the kind of messed up bit about cutting the top lip. Hated that.

Yeah, I regretted it. Teenage boy being teased for his lack of facial hair. His name was Chocolate Eclair. That was written by Jess Perkins. I could have sworn you were doing the serial killer one. Interesting. Meaning the correct answer. You both got right.

A thrill about a man who says love is mustache. Yes! The house burns! And he didn't get anyone to notice. So, three points to Jess so three points to Jess three points to Mesa now while I'm tabulating the scores and I'm lighting a match this movie is well loved 86% of critics gave it a positive

score 66% of the audience and a review by Stephen Hunter from the Washington Post reads in one sense it's what might be called typically french oh an exquisitely observed fable of bourgeois life that is mordant witty and yet low-key in another sense it's what might be called nuts i'm looking at the trailer i'm not the trailer i'm looking at the poster it doesn't look nuts no it's very mundane like I would have thought it'd be wackier. Yeah. There you go. So, the final scores here.

Any actors or anyone sticking out to you there? Yeah, this guy's in stuff. He's in... Oh, yeah, he's in a James Bond. Is he? What's his name? This guy. This guy.

For the listeners, Bob, what's his name? Oh, yeah. His name is Matthew... Oh, he's in... Amalik. Amalik. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Right. Matthew Almarik. Almarik. There you go. I think I might watch this film. It's the first one in a while where I'm like, I probably would maybe enjoy this. So, final scores in third place on a very respectable four points.

It's The House. Boo! I'm giving The House some props there. Out in front on equal seven points, it's Maiso and Jess. Yes! Can you believe they did it? The house of props there. Out in front. They tricked me, the house. On equal seven points, it's Maiso and Jess. Yes. Can you believe they did it? Obviously, one of you had to have a pity point to get you there, but that doesn't matter now.

All points are points. Even with that, take the pity point away. Take the pity point away. Still beating you, haven't I? Yes. Yes, that's true. And Maiso wins. Yes.

I'm not taking it away. No, I'm happy for it to be taken away. How do we feel about, I feel like, what's the measure of success For this podcast I feel like It's like pool rules If you get one

You're in You don't have to run around The table with your pants Around your ankles You know what I mean That's right Yeah You've potted a ball

That's right A point is a ball Yeah A point is a ball Getting a point Is potting a point Yeah That's right

Potting a point We're putting it in terms That our listeners understand That's right A lot of pool sharks That's right You get a bullseye We're putting it in a terms that our listeners understand. That's right. A lot of pool sharks. That's right. You get a bullseye, you get another bullseye.

Your name's Frosty the Throwman. You know? Yeah, I'm up and down on Frosty the Throwman. I don't know if I hate it or love it. I hate it. Now, where can people find you? At my house. Okay. But I wish they wouldn't.

Yeah. They're always bloody knocking on my door. You can find me at Jess Perkins on social media and on radio and on the Do Go On podcast. What's your favorite recent Do Go On episode? It's probably one of the ones that the guys have done recently have been really good. Yeah, that's great. The Beast of Gévaudan. Oh, if you like a bit of enfoncé. If you've got like a four-hour road trip, we've got the podcast for you.

We'll take up every fucking minute of that road trip. Yeah. And, Maiso, where can people find you? I've got a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk about movies and comic books and TV shows and all that sort of stuff. Very rarely a French film, but maybe. Is this the kind of thing that might be featured on Caravan of Garbage? Absolutely not. It's not weird enough or bad enough, from what I can tell. Yes. But, you know, in recent weeks we covered, of course, Barbie and Oppenheimer.

Oppenheimer feels like a French film, doesn't it? Feels quite arty. Yeah. So does Barbie. That's true. Very arty. Makes you think. Yeah. Greta Gerwig, she was promoting the movie and she's like, oh yeah, I based it heavily on the works of Jacques Tati. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to look that up now. Here we go. I love a bit of Tati. Get out the old Google.

I've watched a few Tati films. Andy Matthews got me on one a while back. Oh, really? We went and saw one at the cinemas. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. It was the film that ruined him. He spent so much on it.

At the Club X cinemas? Because that's a different kind of Tati film. It's different. It's a Titi film. That's correct, yes. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. That is good stuff.

Oh, that's good stuff. All right. And with stuff that good, that's how you win. Yeah. I was honestly thinking, do I even put this episode out? But yes. Yes. Turn it around.

I might clip that out and put it at the top. Yeah. Nice. It's weird to just really win it over right at the end. Jacques Titi films. Nice. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Thanks so much for listening, everybody. Thanks so much for joining us, Mesa and Jess. Please give us a five-star review, Mesa and Jess. Okay. Or the listeners. You know, it doesn't take that long. It's true. I'll give you a three.

Okay. You're not getting it read out on the podcast if you only give a three. I'll never. Good. I don't read any threes. But I, oh, he'll read it all right. I'll read it. It'll keep him up at night.

It'll hurt me. Exactly. If that's what you want to do. Yep. Hey, how about you tell your friends about it if you think they might like the show. Or you can support us at patreon.com slash do go on pod. Cheers for tuning in, everyone, to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart.

Goodbye. Don't say anything fucked. Okay. I'll put it out. I'll tell you who I hate as a race. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Wow.

The 400 metres. I can't figure out the pacing of it. No, no. Oh, my God. Wow. The 400 metres. I can't figure out the pacing of it. No, you said who, though. You said who. You mean race organisers. Yeah, the organisers of the 400 metres. Okay, right. Okay.

Okay, so. The Tour de France. This is going in. I didn't respond to Matt's last message. I'll just quickly do a heart react to that. There you go. Thank you. Sorry. Oh, that's a weight off. Have you ever. I'll just quickly do a heart react to that. There you go. Thank you. Sorry.

Oh, that's a weight off. Have you ever... This is going to be an awkward episode otherwise. Has that ever happened? You've set up the messaging and the last message is, I don't know, something weird for people? Oh, yeah. Hey, no worries if not, but I have a big old crush on you.

That's right. I'm tucked into my blanket. I'm good. That's okay. Good. Like a little baby. Yeah. Little Jesperino over here.

Jess Marino. I like that. Have you thought about maybe marrying a guy named Marino? Burrito is what I said because I'm like a burrito. I thought Marino wool. That would have worked too, but no. I'm really committing to Mr. Burrito. Mr. Burrito. That would have worked too, but no, I'm really committing to Mr. Burrito. Mr. Burrito.

That's the man for me. Gregory Burrito. Mr. Burrito is my father's name. My name's Jalapeno Burrito. Jalapeno Burrito. That is a fantastic name, I'm going to tell you. Okay, I for one am ready to start. Yeah, me too.

All right, great. Well, if that's the case, are you saying you want me to start? Yeah, I'm saying hurry the fuck up. Do you mind bringing it a little bit closer? Sorry to James you. I do mind, but I'll do it. Oh, he leaves all that in. That's interesting.

He does leave that in. Okay, all right. You didn't know that? No, I don't know. I don't listen. I don't listen to any podcasts. I don't like them. Why would you?

I don't like podcasts as a medium. Why would you listen to them? Oh, there was a do-go on recently that Seren was on, and I wasn't listen to any podcasts. I don't like them. Why would you? I don't like podcasts as a medium. Why would you listen to them? Oh, there was a do go on recently that Seren was on and I wasn't. And I've been listening to it. I'm like, this is a good show. What? I really like this. Yeah.

It's so fun. Yeah. When you're not under pressure to read a report or be funny. Yeah. It's great. Just listen and enjoy. Just listen. I don't even mind it if it's yours or Dave's reports.

I'll listen to that. But when I talk, I'm like, shut up. Yes. Let the boys talk. Yes, it's very similar to me. Only I say the girl and the boy. Let the girl and the boy talk. I've seen me in my ages ago.

I'm just checking my credit card statement while we're- That is funny because I was assuming it, but then I just saw, oh, okay. Just checking to see if they've purchased a refund yet. Oh, wow. This month you've spent the most on shopping. That's what that tells me. Huge surprise. I've heard a lot of people say that about you, Mace.

What do you say to them if they're listening right now? Tell me who they are and I'll get them. Jeffrey? Jeffrey? Yeah, I'm sorry. Kenneth? Yes. Former Premier of Victoria.

Former Premier of Victoria, Jeffrey Kenneth. I call him Jeffrey. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yes. Former Premier of Victoria. Former Premier of Victoria, Jeffrey Kennett. Jeffrey Kennett, wow. I call him Jeffrey. Yeah, you would. Because he's in trouble. Respect, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, young man. Evan, I know you're listening.

Yeah. I will torch this place to the ground. You don't mean to the podcast, you mean in the studio right now. He's always listening. He's always listening. Oh, yeah. No, I did not. He does not listen to the podcast.

But I know he's listening right now. Yeah. I always assume when I'm in stupid old studios anywhere. Yeah, I did not. He does not listen to the podcast, but I know he's listening right now. Yeah. I always assume when I'm in Stupid Old Studios anywhere. Yeah. Evan's listening. Evan's listening, watching. It really keeps me on the right path. Yeah.

You imagine the things I'd do if I didn't think Evan was listening and watching. Yeah. Can only imagine. He's heard me do some horrendous things. Yeah. Mostly in bathrooms. I've got this problem where I read every year. It's 19?

Same. Interesting. Yeah, I do that too, all the time. I don't know. Because we're so used to saying 19 something, because that's been our entire lives. Well, not you, but me personally. Wait, what do you mean?

I've had more 19s than you did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm not good ats than you did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not good at maths. Me neither. Bing. Another dart's in the board. Beautiful language.

Classic me. Beautiful culture. That's something I do. I'm flawless. Ping, pang, pong. Three in a row. Flawless. Can't wait for you to cut all that out.

Ah, yeah. When you're cut all that out. Yeah. When you're regretting it later. Then you go, what the fuck am I saying? Then you're like, this is when podcasting changed. This is the day. It's nice to be able to pinpoint it. I always, I know it's a small thing, but I always appreciate that you can, at the end, you can really quickly order them into like house answers, people what they picked,

and then the right answer at the end. Yeah. I couldn't do it. I'd just give up. If I were on that end, I'd just be like, oh. Yeah, you're right. Okay, next. This is the right answer.

I don't care about the rest of them. Bye, everyone. Good night. Bye, everyone. You're doing a big wave. What is he, Glen Ridge or something over here? I'm Glen Ridge. Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I've been calling him Mesa. I've been calling him Maceo. I've been calling him Maceo for quite a few years. Years. I'm Glen Ridge, or as they call me, the darts man, Mr. Darts. Glen Ridge. Azza. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. I'm like, I know this tune. Generally, a few seconds. It's the song I could think of Name one song Who knew it with Matt Stewart theme Okay I'm still writing an answer By Evan Munro Smith I've written my answer

Good great I love that But you haven't really laughed at yours today I know I'm being very brave I've also just made this blanket into a Marge Simpson dress. That is, that's funny that you'd be like, I think people at home would be like, yeah, I know what that means. They get it.

They get it. You mean you changed the Chanel dress in multiple ways? Yes. The pant, the suit. Yeah. Was it Chanel? That's a perfume company. They do multiple ways. Yes. The suit. Yeah. Was it Chanel? That's a perfume company. They did clothing also.

Okay. I don't think it was Chanel, but it was, you know, it would cost more than Marge could afford. I've Googled Marge's dress she made a bunch of ways. Yes. And did it come up? It will, yeah. I love the internet. Yeah, it's good, isn't it?el suit holy shit i love how you can like on on the internet you can just be like weird guy in all those movies yeah it's like you mean clean howard yes i do yeah yeah

douchebag disambiguation oh that's not how you say that wow i don't think i've ever said that out loud before disambiguate well this is a good one list of tautological place names like river avonmore which apparently translates to big river river so they're all names that have just in two different languages the same word okay a lot of them are just you know like river river you know like there might be one like, you know, Deadlock? Have you seen Deadlock? I have seen Deadlock. They talk about that. The lake there is called Deadlock Lake, which is Dead Lake Lake.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, nice. Another fantastic. That'll be in. That'll be in. That'll be in that article. That'll be added in later at some point. Imagine if it is.

I have seen that. I just finished it. What do you think? It's great. Now you're going to tell everybody who the killer is, right? Yep. Right now? If you don't want to hear who the killer is.

Oh, it's too late. She's already said it. I could beep it out later, but you'll know. If it was beeped out, I could be bothered beeping it. Yeah. Just say it one more time in case I didn't get the beep before. Beep. Hopefully I remember to beep that out.

No guarantee. No one may. You might, I reckon you'll pick my answer again this time, Mayso. It's very convincing. You've been falling for all my traps. You and all your traps. I think, hey Mayso, I think

you're absolutely fucked. What? I don't want that out well she's got you right where she's and it's not up to me man it's up to you and I've missed the score, sorry. One second. Uno momento. Holy. Are you done? Are you ready? Okay.

Thanks so much for playing. Is that primates? That's this one. Is that? No, yeah. Is that this one? I think it's this one. Is that? No, yeah. Is that this one? I think it's this one, yeah. Primates is...

Is something in your neighbourhood? That's it. Who are you going to call? Primates mate. Primates. Look, I'm Dolly Parton. Oh, yeah? Is that something she does?

Yeah, it's how she wrote the start of 9 to 5. Oh. What did she do? Oh. She said nails clacking together. Did I tell you I watched 9 to 5 on your recommendation? Do you like it? Great fun.

So fun, isn't it? So fun, yeah. Classic Dolly. I love it. Those old movies that say, and some new movies probably, that they say at the end they do a freeze frame and say what everyone got up to. Yeah, I love that.

I love that. I genuinely do because it gives me the closure I want. Yeah. I hate it when a movie's like they just kiss at the end and I'm like, and then what? Yeah, the one for Dolly in that was that she became a famous country singer. Yeah, that's right. How'd they come up with it?

I don't know. There was nothing in the movie about her being a country singer. No, no, no, she was a famous country singer. Yeah, that's right. How'd they come up with it? I don't know. There was nothing in the movie about her being a country singer. No, no, no. She was a secretary. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. No, you did it. We did it again.

Hey, we did it. We did it. That's true. Guys, we did that. Yes. We did it.