Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 50 - Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall, Andy Matthews and Peader Thomas

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall Andy Matthews and Peader Thomas (from the sketch group Wing Attack and Two In The Think Tank)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Jess' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew With Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Now, guests this week are from the Wing Attack Sketch Comedy Group. They've been on hiatus for maybe 10 years, but they're back with a vengeance. It's Alistair Tremblay-Birchall, Andy Matthews and Peter Thomas.

Yay. Thank you. Thank you for this opportunity to promote our 2013 International Comedy Festival show. Yeah, Wing Attack Pants Pants. Oh, that's right. I think people are going to be excited to have you back. And we did that show that year. At the same time, I think that Aunty Donna did their first comedy festival show

and it was also called Pants. Really? Yes. Or it had Pants in the name. Yeah, yeah. And what happened to them? Nobody knows Remember when you guys were contemporaries of theirs?

People were like Beatles and Rolling Stones sort of scenario You were the bad boys of course You were the Stones That's right We really put the temporary into contemporary Yeah, that's right Maybe the second time around you lost people We really put the con into contemporary

Because we were frauds You stole all your bits Yeah, that's correct No, I got picked up on the second one actually. It was more like the Beatles in that way in that I'm the Ringo to the Pete Best that didn't exist before. See if you follow. Yes, I do. But you all collaborate with each other over the years since then. Andy and Peter, you have written multiple best-selling books

that's right can I call them novels? yeah if you can call them best-selling you can call them whatever you want it was definitely you guys' best-selling book absolutely Andy and I wrote the Gustav and Henry young readers

very young adults so like maybe five year old the youngest adults children I just need to say this Pete best selling book oh

there you go Pete best selling book yeah Pete you've also you've done a lot of great artwork including the big mural here at Stupid Old Studios

you've my other podcast Do Go On's logos Primates logo Two and the Think Tank's logos Two and the Think Tank's logo. Two in the Think Tank's logo. Two in the Think Tank, of course, a podcast with Alistair and Andy.

You three are prolific. Synergy. With and without each other, much like the Beatles. So this is the 50th episode. This is somewhat of a celebration. That's why I've got my three comedy idols in the room. And we're also drinking stouts as well as Andy's session IPA. Yeah.

It says it's an obsession IPA. Oh, obsession, sorry. Oh. But then it also says session. Oh, there you go. Now, you're not just reading the end of the word obsession, are you? No. Okay.

I've become quite lazy with my reading. The first two letters of any word you can usually skip. Yeah. If I start reading at the third letter, do I need to have read the first two? Will I still understand the rest of the word? I mean, with you, your name, it would be Drew. Yeah. You know, with Matt, it would be Thieu. Oh, Thieu. Thieu. And also with Thieu. Yeah. With Peter, it would be... Adder. Adder. Adder. Adder. Adder. Adder. And with me, it would be... Adder. Adder. Adder. Adder. Edar. You know?

Dare. And with me, it would be something else. Stare. Stare. As dare. Whatever point it was has been proven. Yeah. Soundly.

Thank God. Now, Al and Andy, you're returning guests. You've both been on some of the most loved, I would even say beloved, I'm not sure the difference, episodes. If you don't read the first two letters, it doesn't matter. You still get it. You still get it. You still get it. So you know what's going on.

Peter, it's your first time here, and this is the way it works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one, and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Betsy from California and the question is what is a quid nunc what is a quid nunc well this is pretty obvious and while they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works so you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant

and another point if you correctly guess the answer by the way I'm also playing as the house i've put into my own fake answers for each question and i get a point for each one of those that our guests choose so each of us conscribe to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins so if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know that is nearly never the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod and that is linked in the show notes i should say if you sign up uh via the patreon and you're on the level that gets bonus episodes i just recorded an another episode of who knew it that's going to be up there with guests jess perkins and dave warner key and there's probably i think there's half a dozen, maybe 10 Who Knew It episodes that are up there available on the Patreon as well.

If you want to hear the very first ones where I didn't really understand how the show worked very well. Hear the evolution. I would love to hear that actually because I always think that this podcast, it feels so much like it leapt into the world fully formed. Right. An overnight success and it would be beautiful for me to be able to strip away that veil of perfection. Yeah, it started off dog shit. Yeah.

Well, that actually helps me a lot. Because I was like, I spent a lot of like late night staring into the darkness thinking, how did he do it? How did he do it? His podcast. He just burst onto the scene. Yeah, there was... Like a giraffe that comes out and can already run. Yes, it was not like that. I was all arms and legs like giraffes are when they're born. They lose the arms pretty soon. You almost forget the name Adam, but it's true.

They did have arms early on. All right, the answer in for question number one. What is a quidnunc? It's the affectionate term for a Canadian offshore oil rig worker. Quidnuncs have been an essential part of North American culture for over 200 years. Named after the legendary Arthur Quidnunc, who famously disappeared after going for a walk in the fog. Now, hang on. That doesn't say what they are, does it?

It just says that they're a part of culture no no it did you got it well you've done that all the one thing what you've done there is you haven't listened to the first two letters of every word yes and that's probably no but that was all one so it's an affectionate term for a canadian offshore oil rig worker and then it goes on and all that other stuff is is part of the same one yeah all right okay sorry have you never heard a definition before they sometimes go on and on but then why does the we can talk about this later i don't want to get too deep into it i'm sure there's a lot of other stuff because you don't know who you're having a go at right now no i don't is it one of your contemporaries here or is it you, you know, Mr. McQuarrie or whoever wrote the dictionary?

You don't know. And I think you should probably be wary of that. So that's option one. Option two, a Victorian term for a street performer or busker. Or you've got somebody who is interested in hearing all the latest gossip. Oh, no. Or you've got the sound it makes when you drop a coin into what you now realise is a clearly empty charity box, making you instantly suspicious that the old lady shaking it is clearing it out regularly to fund her Terry's chocolate orange addiction. Right.

Quidnunk. Quidnunk. Quidnunk. Okay. A Celtic meal involving a single hot cucumber covered in orange cheesy sauce eaten with a knife and fork. Wow. Yeah. Great. Or the English

equivalent of a dime bag. Is a dime bag a drug thing? Yeah. It's a set amount of drugs. Yeah. And surely they don't cost a dime. Surely not necessarily. I mean, maybe at some point they drugs. Yeah. And surely they don't cost a dime. Surely not necessarily. I mean, maybe at some point they were.

Maybe they've kept the name. When the term was coined. Do you need me to run through them quickly again? No, I've got it. What are you locking in, Andy? I'm going to lock in the gossip person. Gossip person for Andy Matthews. Do you have any logic behind that?

I feel like that's the sort of thing that when they were coining words, back in the word rush that they had around the 1800s, you know, the word rush. They were just lying around on the ground. And that feels like a time in history when gossip was probably the most exciting thing that existed. And a good bit of gossip would have been electrifying. Peter, do you have any thoughts here? I'm going to say the Celtic meal.

Hot cucumber. That was so funny. I want to change one back to that just to reward the writing. Covered in cheese sauce. Only because I want to imagine that that thing exists. Yeah. And that you can go down to the fish and chip shop and choose the healthy option.

Like a cream cheese or something. When you're picturing Celtic, where are you picturing it being? If you wanted to get it in the modern day, where would it be? Well, actually, I don't think you'd find it in Ireland. I think you'd find it, you know, in Boston. It'd be somewhere where... They've kept it alive. Yeah, Irish dysphoria sort of-

It used to be something else, but over the years it's drifted. So it used to just be like a sausage or something. It is something about the orange cheesy sauce that screams America, doesn't it? Absolutely. Who are you thinking? You know what? I absolutely feel like I'm being tricked by the one that I'm choosing because

I'm going for the dime bag one and I feel like I'm being tricked because I feel like you can just look at the word quidnonk and then essentially go oh well quid that's like a coin or something like a dime what is a dime? you're an American man

a dime is either like five or ten cents. I can't remember which one. Ten. Quarters, 25. Nickels, five. Nickels, five. And a penny is one. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.

The sound you make when you drop a coin into what you now realise is clearly an empty charity box. That was Andy Matthews. Thanks very much. Thanks, everybody. That was Andy Matthews. Thanks very much. Thanks, everybody. That was a beautifully painted picture there. Thank you. I loved it. I thought it was disappointing that no one even thought about it again.

Same with a Victorian term for a street performer or busker, which was written by Betsy, a.k.a. The House. Well, Betsy. Good try, Betsy. The affectionate term for a Canadian offshore oil rig worker, that was Peter Thomas. No. But then why did the guy walking off into the mist, what did that have to do with, it seemed like a completely separate thought.

To me, it all made perfect sense. So this guy. Remember that guy who walked off into the mist and was never seen again? No, he was not. The same oil rig workers after him. Do you remember the Mary Celeste? The legendary ship where everyone disappeared and it was a major mystery? Yeah. Well, with Arthur Quidnuck so sensational was his disappearance from an oil rig where he couldn't possibly have... See, but that wasn't clear. One of the safest places to be in the whole world. So Peter did the Canadian offshore oil rig worker.

And can I tell you, Pete, if it hadn't had the bit about the guy in the mist, I would have chosen it. Really? Yeah. It was too much. A doth define too much. That's right. I promise you that my next submission will not have anything about mist.

Good. So Pete's guess was a Celtic meal involving a single hot cucumber. That was Alistair Tremblay-Burchill. So funny. What a great meal. Thank you. Thank you. Wait a sec.

Sorry. It was a hot cucumber. I'll take that back. A hot cucumber under a cheesy sauce The English equivalent of a dime bag That was the house You know dime bag's my language I know that is your language

And I knew I was being tricked And I went with it willingly I appreciate that I really did regret not finishing with yours Because I got a great laugh And then English equivalent of dime bag. Everyone's like, yeah, could be. Sure.

Yeah. So that means Andy is correct. It's somebody who is interested in hearing all the latest gossip. Wow. One point to Andy. One point to Alistair. One point to the house. So after one round, we got Peter on zero points.

The house on one point. ATB on one point. Andy Matthews on one point. All right, we're up to the second question. This one comes from Adam Legg from Derby in the UK. What is track two on British post-punk band Half Man Half Biscuits 2003 EP Saucy Haulage Ballads? So you've just got to come up with a,

basically you've just got to come up with a song title for a British post-punk band whose name is Half Man Half Biscuits. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on quidnuncs. According to Miriam Webster, what's new? That's a question every busybody wants answered. Latin speaking nosy parkers might have used some version of the expression quidnunc, literally translating to what now, to ask the same question. Appropriately, the earliest documented use in English of quidnunc to refer to a gossiper appeared in 1709 in Sir Richard Steele's famous periodical, The Tatler.

Steele is far from the only writer to ply quidnunc in his prose. You can also find the word among the pages of such writers as Washington Irving and Nathaniel Hawthorne. But don't think the term is old news. It sees some use in current publications too. You much of a quidnunk, Al? Yeah, I love a bit of gossip. You've been in a few secret-ish comedy chat groups that are all about sort of comedy gossip. As a secret one, i don't know how

you would know that because you never mentioned it so we assume exactly so um but i think everybody's involved in little group chats that um you know that involve look at this fucking asshole you know that kind of stuff like that and so so I enjoy quidnuncing a little bit. Is that what it is, quidnuncing? I feel like earlier in the series you had another gossip-related ancient word about – that may just have been somebody, one of the answers. Oh, I know you're right.

But I think it was a woman who enjoys – There you go, muffin walloper. Yes, which is a great term, but that was like an old Victorian term, which they often are. Big time for words. If we're talking about old terms for these kind of things, what's the difference between gossip and actual facts? Like you would find out things because people talk to each other.

There wouldn't be a lot of print media, perhaps. You know, like... Sure. Isn't it the same thing? I guess it was like the Bible and then everything else is gossip. The word of God. And quid nunc. Anything less than the word of God is quid nunc.

And you think that everything before the Bible was written down, it was all an auditory, you know, stories passed from person to person. An oral tradition. Therefore, at one point, the bible was itself mere quidnunk but with a capital q and a capital n for some reason i assume it's two words from god's lips to your ears do you picture god's lips on your ears when you say that from god's lips like that and his big wet lips are just like touching your ear and he's like talking. Maybe like he's touching the whole of your ear a little bit with his tongue while he talks and it's half on purpose, half like, oh, it could be a mistake. I'm sort of picturing like Murph Hughes talking to Alan Borden in a 1980s test match.

That's exactly what I was picturing. Just that's the right amount of facial hair. Yeah, yeah. I think when I picture God, I picture a Mervyn Hughes type. And it's sort of like two astronauts floating in space. Yes. And they press their face places, so their helmets together. Is that what you think of as a mouth, a face place?

The face place. It's one of the face places you can go. Baby, I want to kiss you on the face place. Well, out in space, there's no sound, but your face place can make noises and they vibrate and the two helmets together would be able to pass. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that a thing that they do if their radios break down? Yes. They can yell into each other's helmets. And I imagine that's what it would be like hearing God's lips through your ears. You know what? I have no... How did we get here? I don't know.

The answers are in for question number two. What is track two on British post-punk band Half Man Half Biscuits 2003 EP Saucy Haulage Ballads? And I really appreciate Adam Legg for bringing this band to my attention. Andy, I think you'd love them. I've been listening to them all week. Yeah. I think they're right up your alley. Great fun.

All right, here are your options. Like The Exorcist, but more breakdancing. After the car crash, the doctors told me I'd never wank again, but I proved them all wrong. That's the way the half man, half biscuit crumbles. Tending the wrong grave for 23 years. Feel my wrath. Okay, honest opinion. What did you think?

Pretty good wrath? Or dank flank Brian. The ballad of the young man who tries to untie his shoes using only the power of his mind. Wow. Dank Flank. Dank Flank Brian. Wow. I love all of these.

Yeah. This is going to be a tough one. This is an EP ready to go. Oh, mate. Is this like a, what's that band that you love? Tism. Is this a Tism kind of similar band? I mean, I think.

You've got to bear in mind that we made up four of these. Yeah, that's right. So don't put too much pressure on the vibe. I would say they have very little to do probably musically with Tism. Maybe there's some crossover. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, well, maybe there's some crossover. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, well, just the titles are fun.

I'm going to choose Tending the Wrong Grave for 23 years because I think there is a lyrical quality to that, a tragedy and a comedy to it that elevates it to high art. So whoever wrote that, congratulations. You're a true artist in my mind. Yeah. It's a lovely story. And I was So whoever wrote that, congratulations. You're a true artist in my mind. Yeah. I like that one a lot. It's a lovely story.

And I was going to pick that one too, but I feel like. Which you, of course, can do. I know I can. You know, just for the fun of it, I'll pick something. I'm going to go The Wrath. That was great. Yeah. Wrath throughout.

All right. I'm going to go The Crumble. The Half Biscuit. Half Biscuit. Half Biscuit. Crumbles. Which half would you like? Which half?

The man half that crumbles or the biscuit half that crumbles? Sure. I'd be interested to see how the man half crumbles because I don't normally associate crumbling with a thing that flesh can do. And while it would be, I'm sure, horrific, it would also be intriguing. You've never seen my

heels well you have seen my heels i gotta be honest do you have a do you have a petty egg i've seen them i have now like a a mechanical device that turns on and then spins and it's like a spinning rock it's really interesting isn't it because what it is is it's really a kind of a grinding scraping kind of tool it's well i'd go so far? Because what it is, is it's really a kind of a grinding, scraping kind of tool. Well, I'd go so far as to say it's a file, right? And in the naming process, I reckon they had to steer pretty hard away from that as the name. I was thinking they're just avoiding calling it a Petty file.

Yeah. I don't have a Petty egg. I've got a very well-adjusted egg. Is that the other version of Petty? Yeah. Doesn't matter. Sure, sure, sure. Doesn't matter. I couldn't think of what egg. I've got a very well-adjusted egg. Is that the other version of petty? Yeah. Doesn't matter. Sure, sure, sure. Doesn't matter.

I couldn't think of what the opposite of that would be. Tom Petty Egg in the Heart. Thanks so much for saving it, Peter. You're always there when I need you. All right, let's go through. I'm the wind. Yes. Beneath.

That's a really great band name. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. Like the exorcist, but more break dancing. That was written by Adam, the question writer. That was really funny. Well done. Very good.

Dank flank Brian, the ballad of the young man who tries to untie his shoes only using the power of his mind. That was Peter. That was good. Very funny. Yeah. After the car crash, the doctors told me I'd never wank again, but I proved them all wrong. That was Andy Matthews.

Thank you very much. That was good. I was amazed at that. Like, I mean, they all seem to fit together. Like, everything you read. It's a cohesive album. Yeah, exactly. It was a perfect album.

I really liked that there were doctors. Like, you sought a second opinion. Your wanking Jaser through. Well, I'm not listening to you. I'm going to go find another doctor. Well, I'm sorry, but I also agree. You'll never wake again. All right, Peter went for

That's the Way the Half-Man Half-Biscuit Crumbles. That was written by ATB. Yes. Tromboli bomboli. Thank you, Peter. You're about this grave situation. Feel my wrath. Okay, honest opinion.

What did you think? Pretty good wrath. That was written by The House, which ATB went for. That was good. I think you picked mine two in a row here. I didn't want to pick that one. Remember, he wanted to pick the correct answer. Meaning that, once again, Andy Matthews correctly guessed

tending the wrong grave for 23 years. I think we might have gone exactly the same as round one. Yes, that's right. Peter picked Al's, Al picked mine, Andy picked the correct one. All right, we're up to question three. This one comes from Danielle and Adam Osborne. And I love when a couple comes together to write a question. They're from Emsworth in the UK.

And I also think that they're, as a couple, fungi experts. Because they've written a bunch of questions that are all fungus related. Well, you know, a lot of fungi experts pronounce it fungi. Oh, well. When I listened to an episode of a podcast with fungus experts, they all said, yes all went yes and this kind of fungi and you go you guys can't do that you can't be an expert and then change the pronunciation of things and i think a lot of scientists change the pronunciation things to stop you from being

able to make the joke gatekeeper stuff gatekeeper stuff so i hope you know if they're in communicato with you yeah you know you go go, hey, just on download, are you guys fungi people? Yeah. Well, I mean, I reckon they'll be listening, so you can ask them directly right now. Hey, just on the download, are you guys fungi people? Because if you are, quit it.

I just, I want to know more about the podcast that Al's listening to. That was in our time. It was in our time on fungus. Funguses. Funguses. Fungi. Fungus. Sorry, that what?

Well, they say fungus, but then they say fungi. You go, come on. It's got to be the kill the fungi joke. Anyway, Danielle and Adam asked the question, which one of these is a type of edible fungi or fungi? So you're going to come up with an edible fungi or fungi name. While you're writing your answer, I'll let the audience know a bit more about this tune,

or at least let me read the first few verses of the song. A mistake has been made. It's a fact they can't hide. Though I'm partly to blame, it cannot be denied. There ain't no use defending. It seems I've been tending the wrong grave for 23 years. A letter dropped onto my doormat one day and I thought I'll ignore that. It might go away. And I took up my shears to the place where for years I presumed my sweet darling

had lain. Curse those in charge of plots. Curse those forget-me-nots. I've been sharing my innermost thoughts with an Edwardward mccray i'm inconsolable and at times uncontrollable ah but you wouldn't know because she's 200 meters away that's great another fact that um i don't think i noted down but luckily i've got a mind like a steel trap adam leg wrote that they were once booked to do this big music show live music show and they said we can't. Our small-time local soccer club, football club, is playing that night. And the TV, it was like Channel 4, one of the big stations,

was like, we'll helicopter you to and from the game. And they're like, no, we can't be distracted from the game. I mean, that's real integrity. That's the real kind of bloody minded, I don't care how much this sets me back. I'm going to make this meaningless stand. It isn't. It's so funny.

All right, the answers are in. Oh, my God. Here is question number three. Which of these is a type of edible fungi? Hairy bitter cross. The nutty mud slurper. Chicken of the Woods, Big Boy Fingers, The Crouching Crying Grandma, or Hopeless Nigel. Hopeless Nigel sounds delicious.

Now, I'm always a little bit nervous that certain guests with certain sets of skills will know answers. And in this case, I'm like, there's a good chance Andy, a known forager, could know the name of this edible fungi. I don't forage. You don't forage? No. A known forager doesn't even forage. It's trivial, isn't it? Sorry, I'm thinking hard rubbish forager.

Yeah. That's correct. And he likes garbage. Nothing grown in nature. Oh, yeah. There's plenty of- Oh, I've probably picked up a few mattresses that have got a few mushrooms growing on them. Yeah, and he's probably breathed in a few spores in his day.

There's plenty of pine trees out your way. There are, and you can get the saffron milk cap and you can get the slippery jacks around our place. Oh, my God. I do not. They asked that question. The slippery jack? The slippery jack. That was this couple asked that question.

Really? We had them growing on our property. Wow. So, look, maybe I know more about mushroom foraging than I can tell at all. I know more about you than you do. I'm going to say the big man's fingers. Big man. Big boy fingers.

Big boy fingers. Locking that in for Andy Matthews. Because a lot of mushrooms, it seems like they're named after that. And they all look a bit like that, don't they? Big boy fingers. That sounds like something you want to put in your mouth. It does. That's edible.

I mean. Similar like in the banana world, there's lady fingers. Oh, yeah, that's true. I'm going to say the Nigel. Hopeless Nigel. Hopeless Nigel. I reckon this is the first time I've ever had where you have not asked for a repeat

of the... Oh, we're very present. I can say with confidence that that's the only one I remember. The final one. I'm going to go for Chicken of the Woods. Chicken of the Woods. I mean, that's very good. People love to name

a food after what it would be if it was a chicken yeah it's the you know jessica simpson famously it's the chicken of the screen the chicken of the sea she said is tuna yes that's right chicken of the sea i can't remember what she asked but yeah i think the tuna was already called chicken of the sea yeah there was a brand of tuna called chicken of the sea yeah but she thinks tuna a brand of tuna called chicken of the sea. Yeah. But she thinks tuna is chicken. Is that right?

Yeah, I think that's what it was. And camels are the deserts of the land or something. Was that it? Yeah, that's also true. Ships in the desert. This is her quote. Is this chicken that I have or is this fish? She said, I know it's tuna, but it says chicken of the sea. And then she said, is that stupid?

What is it called? Chicken by the sea or in the sea? I think these are all great questions. It's a bit weird. I had some buffalo chicken before this podcast just to peel back the curtains. And I don't know what I was eating. Not at all. It's a fish.

It was tuna. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Hairy Bittercross. That was written by Danielle and Adam, the power fungi couple. I know what they're doing. A.K.A. the house. Funjupple. The funjupple.

The funthrupple. Hey, if I have anything to do with it. Oh, okay. The Nutty Muddle Slurper. Is that what I said before? The Nutty Mud Slurper? Yeah, that's autocorrected to something else. The Nutty Muddle Slurper Is that what I said before? The Nutty Mud Slurper? Yeah, that's what I corrected to something else The Nutty Mud Slurper, that was Alistair Tremblay-Burchill

Is that what you wrote? Yeah, I think so, something like that No, it was The Nutty Muddle Slurper But I didn't say it right before I probably cost you a point Do you want a pity point? Would you like a pity point for that? I don't need your pity points

Pete would have chosen that if you got? I don't need your pity points. Pete would have chosen that if you'd got that right. That's what I mean. I would take your pity points. Peter, would you have chosen that if I got it right? If it was the last one? Absolutely. So there's a pity point up for grab if you want. No, it's okay.

I'm okay. All right. Then we have the crouching, crying grandma. Andy Matthews wrote that one. Thank you. Which I think is fantastic as well. Hopeless Nigel, which Pete went for because it was last. That was the house.

Nigel's one of my favourite names. Tried up there with Greg and Gary. It's probably my only favourite name that's not a G name. Really? Love Greg and all variations of, like my godfather's name, Gregon, which is probably the best. I think that's the superior Greg. I think I'd take that over Gregory any day of the week.

I bet your parents didn't even know him. They just went through the phone book and found a guy called Gregon and thought that's the one. Gregon. Yeah. What about Gregor? Just Gregor. Gregor's number two, then Gregory, I guess.

Gregor what? Yeah, I mean, Gregor sounds like you hadn't finished choosing the name. But Gregor's the same. Gregor, Gregor, you know, Bruce. Gregor and Phil. Gregor and Phil. Oh, they were a big, yeah. Breakfast Radio team.

All right, then we had Big Boy Fingers, which Andy went for. That was Peter Thomas. Peter's on the board. Yes. Sabu points. You sucked me in with those big boy fingers. You're weak for those big boy fingers, aren't you? I have a soft spot. Can you picture what they look like? Yeah, I really can.

They have fingernails and they're a little bit bent. And that means Alistair was right. It's chicken of the woods. Chicken of the woods. So one point to the house, one point to the house one point to peter and one point to alistair trombley virtual can you believe it meaning after three rounds peter's on one point and he's on two points but out in front on three points it's alistair trombley virtual in the house man this is time for me to get cocky i think i'm definitely gonna win this crazy because i really felt like i was winning yeah you were so were. So messed up. You were pretty close. You were winning equal first with everybody else.

All right. Question number four now. This one comes from friend of the show and previous guest, David Astle from ABC Radio. And his question is, the first mini golf course is thought to be the one built at St. Andrews Golf Course in 1867. What was the reason it was built? Andrews Golf Course in 1867. What was the reason it was built? The first mini golf course is thought to be the one built at St. Andrews Golf Course in 1867. What was the reason it was built? While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about these mushrooms. According to Danielle and Adam, chicken of the woods is a fairly common mushroom in the UK with a solid meaty texture and

a chicken flavor to some. it can be used as a chicken substitute as it tastes great in stir fries casseroles barbecued or grilled man my mouth is watering i freaking love a mushroom you're a big mushroom head i love my i love a cooked mushroom especially yeah i mean you know who's who's eating raw mushrooms i know people who love raw mushrooms and i'll have them in a sandwich occasionally, but cooked mushrooms where they just get juicy and they soak it up. You're just talking about those little button mushrooms that people eat that raw? Yeah, yeah. Would you get it like, eat it just like a can of champignons?

Yeah, a can of champignons to see a blockbuster film. I know others are popping corn, I'm popping shrooms. Danielle and Adam finished by saying, it can be found growing in large tiers or tree trunks and stumps of deciduous trees between May and September. So next time I'm in the UK, I'm definitely going to go for a forage as my good friend Andy Matthews would often do. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, the answers are in for question number four. The first mini golf course is thought to have been built

at St. Andrews Golf Course in 1867. Actually, just six short years before the St. Kilda Football Club was formed. Really? Is it St. Andrews or St. Andrews? And they were short years then. They were back then, yeah, yeah. We used to whip around the sun, or however time works. So what was the reason this mini golf course was built?

It was considered improper for women to lift their arms above shoulder height. So putting was the only appropriate form of golf for them. That's the correct answer. Yeah, that's got to be it. I'm going to lock that in. That's horrible. I'm quite serious. I'm locking that in right now.

Okay. Oh, wow. I love that. Power. Yeah. The Butterbean canning Factory had closed down and the idle hands of the town's youths were causing immense

down-buggery. The main St. Andrews golf course was closed down as it was being used for army training. 18. What would that have been? The Boer World? The Boer. What was been? The Boer War? The Boer. What were you supposed to say? The Boer War.

The Boer War. 1867? 1867, yeah. Boer War. No, not the Boer War. The second Boer War. They did the second Boer War before the first Boer War? Boer War.

It was like BCA where the numbers counted up. Or maybe like Star Wars Episode 3. Yes, that's right. Yes, Lucas had it. He had all the Bo-Wers planned out before. Yeah, okay. Bo-Fur-Wer. Bo-Wer-Fur-Wer.

That's got to be the greatest of the war names, right? Yeah. Bo-Wer-Wer. Yeah, I think also good because we don't really know what happened so even if like that's like i know a little bit we have plausible deniability about how horrific it was so they're the first three options then you've got new laws passed by parliament meant only nobles and members of exclusive clubs could play on full-size courses.

For the growing middle classes, the only place they were permitted to play was on a scaled course. It's got Pete written all over it. Is there a word? He's explaining things. I resent that. Parliament, it's such a Pete-like word.

It was just a length. I was just messing around. Sorry, Pete. That was the same length of most of them. Anyway, an error in the planning stage meant that the contractors confused feet with fathoms. So, Andy, are you sticking with women couldn't lift their arms above shoulder height?

Yeah. Pete, what are you thinking? The last one. He has a strategy. Oh, my God. I haven't read it out yet. So much like Andy and his very bold statement about the first one, I'm going all in.

I think yours is in some ways even more bold, Pete. Or the final option, the club's president wanted a place to leave his kids while he played on the main course. That's 110%, Matt. Andy, you've locked in improper for women to lift their arms. Al, what are you thinking? I'm going to pick the one where they got the different sizes wrong. Oh, yeah?

Confusing feet with fathoms? That's perfect. Locking that in for ATB. All right, here's who wrote the answers. The Butterbean Canning Factory had been closed down and the youths were causing immense down-buggery. That was ATB. Down-buggery.

Now, what does that mean? I was really regretting my early decision until I heard the word down-buggery. I'm like, no, Alistair's had his hands all over this. What? I don't even know what down-buggery means. I've never heard. What does that What? I don't even know what down buggery means. I've never heard. What does that mean?

I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I just, I tried to create English sounding, you know, like something that you would say in England. It sounds a lot worse than buggery. So your fatal flaw there was forgetting St. Andrews is in Scotland. You're right. God damn it.

It's really embarrassing. And you were born in Scotland. So that's a real kick in the teeth. Should have been Dune Boogity. The Main St. Andrews golf course was closed down as it was being used for army training. That was the house. That was a beautiful answer. That's a good one.

New laws passed by parliament meant only nobles and members of exclusive clubs could play on full-size courses. That was Peter. I thought that was fantastic. Is that the one that Al picked? Really coherent. No. I think I picked a different one where they got the size.

The one that Al picked was where they confused feet with fathoms, which was written by Andy Matthews. Oh, my gosh. Which is the kind of point that Andy's been craving all along. I have, although I was hoping it would be one of the funny ones, but it really got nothing. But Andy's still got a big one. Thank you although I was hoping it would be one of the funny ones, but it really got nothing. But Andy's still got a big one. Thank you very much.

A big one point. Good job. Thank you. Of course, that would never happen because fathoms is, of course, a nautical measurement. Oh, he should have said furlongs. I should have. I was looking for a word that started with F,

and that would have been perfect. The president of the course wanted a place to leave his kids while he played on the main course. Peter picked that. That was the house. Oh, no. Which means that, Andy Matthews, your instinct was correct. It was considered improper for women to lift their arms above shoulder height,

so putting was the only appropriate form of golf for them. I knew it. I knew it, and that's because that's a value that I still hold. Who did you knew it with? Alistair Trombley-Birchall and my good friend Peter Thomas. Fantastic. So that means after four rounds, here is the score. Peter is on one point. Alistair Trombley-Birchall is on three points. But out in front, it's Andy in the house on four points each. It's good to be

here. What? It's good to be here. It's what I would call truly anyone's game. Truly. That's staying in. All right. Three questions to go. Here's question number five. Oh, my God. This one comes from Locky2s from Sydney's Neutral Bay.

Hi, Locky. And Locky's question is, and this is one that you may well know depending on the movies you've watched recently. What was the name of Jason Statham's character in The Bank Job? What was the name of Jason Statham's character in The Bank Job? And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the St Andrews Ladies Putting Club, which it's known as.

According to Hannah Holden writing for the National Club Golfer, the first women's single-sex golf club was opened in 1867. The St. Andrews Ladies Putting Club, now known as the Himalayas, it's known as that because it's very hilly. At the time, it was considered

improper for women to lift their arms above shoulder height, so putting was the only appropriate form of golf for them. Scottish judge Lord Moncrief, and just straight off the bat, you're like, this guy's about to say something that's real cool. Scottish judge Lord Moncrief suggested that women should drive the ball no further than 70 or 80 yards. I love it.

A real, like, where do we draw the line here? What's lady like? But also, I love that he said they should drive it no further than 70 or 80. But, like, what does it, in the 70 to 80 yard grey zone? Oh, yes. Lady-ish? Yes. So,

he said they shouldn't drive the ball further than 70 or 80 yards, stating that the posture and gestures, this is a stating that the posture and gestures required for a full swing are not particularly graceful when the player is clad in female dress. So, yeah, at first it seems unreasonable. But then you hear him out. I mean, he's a judge. So you've got to listen to the full reasoning. The more you speak, the more you make sense.

Well, grace is important. That's one of my top three. But look, couldn't he just be an advocate for non-gendered dressing? I mean, what he's really saying is that the clothing that women are expected to wear at the time is actually quite constraining. And stops them from doing, stops us from one, playing golf properly. And that what we really should be doing is not adhering to gender stereotypes for dress, especially in this case for sport.

So what you're saying is that Judge Lord Moncrief is what a feminist looks like. That's exactly what I'm saying. I agree. And he makes no apologies for that. And I'll lock that in that answer actually if it's okay for the next round. Yeah, I agree. And he makes no apologies for that. And I'll lock that in that answer, actually, if it's okay, for the next round. I can't find any apologies that he's made for that. He never apologised.

So, therefore, he makes no apologies for that. I think he's actually a feminist icon. Yeah. I have him on all my feminist iconography. Yes. There's a picture of him. Scottish judge, Lord Moncrief. I put him up there with, well, who's your favourite feminist icon?

Let's see, Lizzo? She's one of the top ones currently, yes. Absolutely. I haven't been checking the news, but I think she's still number one. Yeah, she's up there. Who's your favourite feminist icon? Let's say Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

I think as four men doing a podcast, there's no one in a better position to make this call. Andy, for you? I think it's right that we should be put on the spot like this. Because you're willing to do this, actually, I'm going to say you, Matt Stewart, you're my number one feminist icon because you're willing to hold men to

account. Okay, Andy, I really appreciate that. And I haven't seen any women in here tonight willing to do that. No. And, Andy, I love that you said it because I agree. You are also your favourite. I'm also my favourite feminist icon. Me. Anyway.

And you only strengthen my resolve to do so. No, I am the one who's, I'm saying, lean in, Matt. Take up space and let the people know, yes, you are a feminist icon. I'm probably, I am honestly one of the biggest feminists I know. I tell women to lean in all the time. All right, so the answers are in. Speaking of feminist icons, here's question number five. What was the name of Jason Statham's character in The Bank Job?

Here are your options. Terry Leather. Oh, that's really good. Jason Statement. Derek Deep Dish. Hartley Bing Fingers McGrubbins Jr. Vault Check Draw. Or Chris.

Okay. Okay, so it's possible that these were all, well, I haven't seen his whole discography, but. Oh, look, he's been the transporter. Was he Agent 57? No, is that someone else uh he was the mechanic mechanic he was the guy whose heart couldn't stop the crank the crank he was christmas at the cranks the cranky anchors if i remember correctly the new york crankies that was him i think mr cranky the christmas poo i think he was Mr. Cranky the Christmas Pooh as well.

Yeah, he's done a lot of things. And he doesn't get a lot of respect for it, but he has actually done a lot of it. Let's think about this. It's called Jason's Statement. It sounded silly when we heard it. But if you remember, the movie is called The Bank Job. Yes. Right?

And Banks Release Statements, Bank Statements. Oh, my gosh. I think it could be a very interesting piece of intertextual sort of commentary. So I'm going to choose Jason's statement. Okay, Jason's statement for Andy Matthews. I'm going to go with leather. Terry leather. Terry leather.

Terry leather. Hello, I'm Terry leather. Do you want me to try it in Statham? Yeah, can you do all the voices? But I'll lock that in temporarily. No, no, no. Because this might change your answer. Of course it will.

And I'll do it like he did in the Meg where he says, Hello, I'm the Meg. I haven't seen it, but I think that's what he said. Hello, I'm Terry Lever. Hello, I'm Jason Statement. Hello, I'm Derek Deep Dish. Hello, I'm Artie Bing Fingers McGrubbins Jr. Hello, I'm Vault Check Draw. Hello,

I'm Chris. That's actually really good. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if it's what he sounds like, but I've now forgotten what he sounds like as a result of that. Oh no, I think that's spot on actually. Perfect. To get me in the note of it, I realised a while ago, it's someone responding to him. Because my favourite quote of his isn't even his, where he goes, he says something like, you want sugar? To flat top or brick top.

He says, I'm sweet enough. No, thanks, Turkish. I'm sweet enough. But that's not even him. I realise that I chose maybe a bit hastily because statement is a bank thing but so is a check draw

oh yes I'm going to say that one then I'm going to say Terry check draw Terry vault check draw vault check draw vault check draw

it's not even the last one Andy yeah Chris was the final one are you sure you don't want to lock in Chris I bet it's Chris no I'm changing my mind I'm going to say the same one that Andy did sure you don't want to lock in Chris? I bet it's Chris. No, I'm changing my mind. I'm going to say the same one that Andy did because that's my...

You're doing pretty well so far. Jason's statement? Are you sure? This is the time you want to try all this bold new strategy? Okay, what did Al say? Al said Terry Lever. Terry Lever. You going with Terry Lever?

I'd like to go with Terry Lever. All right, locking in Terry Lever for Peter Thomas. You toilet. Or Terry. I don't know if they actually say, but me and Dave Warnocky love riffing Cockney-ish. You shut your lid, you toilet. I don't know if they talk like that, but I like it if they do. Of course.

Shut your lid, you toilet. Pretty good, right? Yeah. You can imagine that they would say something like that. Yeah. You shut your lid, you byro. Who's got your oof in the mud, you pig? Who changed your RAM, you Dell computer?

That sort of stuff. All right. I'm picking Al's one. Terry Leather. All right. Here'm picking Al's one. Terry Leather. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Chris. That was Peter Thomas. That's a really good pick.

The only reason why he couldn't pick the last one. So Chris was Peter's. Vault check drawer. That was ATB. Very good. Now, what was your process there? You know what? It felt like a mess because

I spent a bit of time trying to think of some bank words. And you got three. Yeah, I got three and then but then I didn't check draw didn't come through in the way that I hoped. I wasn't even thinking vault in the way that you were meaning vault. I was thinking vault electric. I thought I was quite

clever when I made the check drawer connection, but it was all in there. It's all in there. Hartley Bing Fingers McRubbins Jr. That was Andy Matthews. I really thought I'd get you with that. Derek Deep Dish. That was the house.

It sounded like a Boston kind of pizza. Yeah, Chicago. I was worried that you might have picked that up. Jason's statement can't be the correct answer. Jason's statement, that was Lockie, a.k.a. the house. Hello, I'm Jason's statement, meaning the correct answer was Terry Lever. Yes.

ACB and Pete gets a point there. I'm very happy for you both. The house gets a point there due to Andy Matthews picking Jason Statement. Hello, I'm Jason Statement. You must be a Megalodon. Alright, we're up to the penultimate question. Here's question number six. It comes from Travis Alexander

from Gulfport in Mississippi. Travis's question is, what happened in South Africa on September the 9th, 2009? What happened in South Africa on September the 9th, 2009? While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about Terry Lever. Terry Lever was ranked fifth in a Vulture listicle ranking Jason Statham's most deranged character names.

That was the title of the article. And personally, I think it was ripped off. So I went through all of them and I reckon it, I reckon honestly Terry Lever is the best one. These are the ones he was beaten by. So Terry Lever, number five, four, Turkish, who's a great one. No thanks, Turkish, I'm sweet enough. Bacon, Lee Christmas, and the number one was

chevgelios hello i'm chevgelios i mean they're all great but surely terry lever is number one according to the vulture article the bank job is loosely based on a true story none of the perpetrators have ever been definitively identified though so when it came to naming duties the screenwriters of the bank job had creative license. For the salt of the earth, tough yet tender family man who leads the gang, they went with Terry Lever. Which I think they freaking nailed. Alright. The answers are in for question number six. What happened in South Africa on September the 9th 2009? The nanny began airing in the country for the first time

becoming a huge hit. That must have been quite a few years later. I mean, it's not a surprise. No. I mean, it's a Stone Cold classic. The fact that it became a hit, it's not a surprise, but jeez. A bit late. Searching for Sugar Man is all about how they found something that

other people didn't necessarily know. But you know what they ruled out of that documentary? Also big in Australia. Was he? Yeah, he was big in Australia and South Africa but they just omitted that from the documentary. Simplified the narrative. But was that because so many South Africans came to Perth? Yes.

The Prime Minister became disoriented walking off the stage after a speech to open a new frozen goods factory and stepped into a large upright refrigerator full of sugar snap peas. That was a different sugar man. Sugar snap man. Sugar snap man. Sugar snap peas.

Victoria Beckham visited Cape Town as part of the press tour for Angels and Demons. Celebrating the 9th of the 9th 09 was she in that film well i think that's irrelevant i don't see what that's got to do with anything celebrating the 9th of the 9th 09 the president pardoned nine death row

criminals chosen at random oh that's fun. I love that. I love that. Spirit of chaos. President Jacob Zuma slowly sipped a frosty beer on live TV. Or a pigeon raced against the internet and the pigeon won. All right. I'm going to go first I'm gonna go first wow you

I mean forget everything you thought you knew about these three guys on this show I'm trying out new strategies every time

I don't know if you noticed that's been his strategy the whole time he's got new strategies every time his first strategy is whatever strategy

he came up with second strategy stick to the same strategy as the last strategy third strategy stick to the same strategy as the last strategy. Third strategy. Stick to the same strategy.

It's stuck with the first two strategies. That's the new strategy. Technically. I'm going to go with the sip a beer one. Sip a beer. All right. That's very good. I am going to choose.

Would you like to go first, Alistair? I beg your pardon. I went first. How dare you? Yeah, but first out of us. Okay, I suppose. Sorry. Sorry, Al.

I was going to say Sugar Snap Peers, but ninth to the ninth. I'm going to go with the ninth. I'm deceiving the ninth people. I'm going to go the Pigeon Race to the Internet. All right. So ATB for celebrating 9th and 9th Andy Matthews going for pigeon race

why does the pigeon racing the internet trigger something in my brain it actually does anyway I'm still going with 9th it's not too late to be honest I think it's sugar snap peas but I'm going with 9th and 9th I mean a strategy could be to go for the one you think is right.

Nine people didn't die. Okay, sugar snap peas. I'm not going to tell you how to play the game. I'm going with sugar snap peas. Okay. All right, here's who wrote the answers. The nanny began airing in the country for the first time, becoming a huge hit. That was actually Travis Alexander, aka The House.

Very good. Good fact. Travis just working his way into my heart. Yeah. I don't think we waited until 09 to get on board. I think we had it fast-tracked from the United States. Before they even cared about it, if they ever did. It was on an aeroplane, just the nanny and donor hearts for dying children.

On the Concorde. Celebrating the 9th of the 9th, or 9, pardoning, 9 death row criminals chosen at random. That was the house. Oh, that was, yeah. That would have been really good, though. I thought me spotting that little pattern in the date

was pretty good. That's why I was going to pick it. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was there. Wide open for me. Victoria Beckham visited Cape Town as part of the press tour for Angels and Demons. That was Peter Thomas. That's really funny.

Was she involved at all? No. Not that I know. But tell you what, if you've got a chance, if you've got a spare two and a half hours, don't watch Angels. Okay. Spend some time with your family. If you've got a spare two and a half million dollars, book Victoria Beckham for your next press jacket. don't watch Angels. Okay. Spend some time with your family.

If you've got a spare two and a half million dollars, book Victoria Beckham for your next press junket. Doesn't matter what you're selling. And if you've got a spare $53 million, don't make Angels and Demons. The Prime Minister becoming disorientated, walking off the stage, landing in the sugar snap peas, etc.

Al went for that. That was Andy Matthews. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. That was great, Andy. You did really good. President Jacob Zuma slowly sipped a frosty beer on live TV. Peter went for that.

That was ATB. Thank you. Thank you, Peter. Very good. Wonderful. It does seem like the sort of thing that could get broadcast. Meaning? In a country without a functioning democracy.

Do they not have one of them? I think they do, yeah. The wild thing about that is I'm pretty sure they're ruled by presidents. I was almost going to correct prime minister to president. Maybe they have both. Some countries do, don't they? I think I wrote president. No, but in mine, I believe I said prime minister.

The one you guessed said prime minister. Oh, did it? Fuck, I wouldn't have. I believe I said Prime Minister. The one you guessed said Prime Minister. Oh, did it? Fuck, I wouldn't know. I mean, I actually looked up, yeah. I looked up what year Angels and Demons came in. It was 2009. You guys really need to lift your game. I think I actually met you three in 09.

Really? I definitely met Al and Andy in 09, and I'm pretty sure I would have met, because you were living with Andy at the time, I reckon. Probably, yeah. Wow. Fun fact. I wonder the time, I reckon. Probably. Yeah. Wow. Fun fact. I wonder if it happened on 0909.

Imagine. You Jason Statham? We can probably film that. Imagine. Imagine that. 090909. Well, well, well. That means the correct answer is a pigeon race against the internet and the pigeon won.

So two points for Andy and one point for ATB that round. Meaning, did you remember this event? No, not at all. But it seemed like the sort of thing that somebody would have done as a stunt to prove that the internet was slow. Oh, my God, that is... So you put a USB on a chicken's butthole. Yes.

And then you... That's exactly right. Word for word. Apart from the butthole. Yeah, and then you have it fly across the city to transport a certain number of gigabytes. Yes, that is exactly what happened. So, score update with one round to go.

Peter's on two points. ATB in the house on five points, but out in front now on six points is Andy Matthews. Okay. But leading into the final round... Show off. It's triple points, meaning It is truly anyone's game. Peter, that's right.

You are still within an absolute sniff here. You could get nine points in this final round. Leaping to the front. Here's the final question. We always finish with a movie synopsis question. And the final question this week comes from Joff from Colac. What is the synopsis of the film Chicken Park? What is the synopsis of the film Chicken Park?

While your answers are being written, here's some more information about the pigeon race. According to the BBC, they wrote an article at the time, quote, company pitted an 11-month-old bird armed with a 4GB memory stick against the ADSL service from the country's biggest web firm, Telcom. The idea for the race came when a member of staff at Unlimited IT complained about the speed of data transmission on ADSL. He said it would be faster by carrier pigeon. Quote, we renown ourselves on being innovative, so we decided to test that statement, Unlimited's Kevin Rolfe told the Beald newspaper. Winston the Pigeon took off from Unlimited IT's call centre in the town of Howick to deliver the memory stick to the firm's office in Durban. According to Winston's website, there were strict rules in place to ensure he had no unfair advantage. Bit of fun here.

Including bird seed must not have any performance enhancing seeds within. The firm said Winston took one hour and eight minutes to fly between the offices and the data took another hour to upload onto their system. Mr. Rolfe said that the ADSL transmission of the same data size was about 4% complete at the same time. So the pigeon freaking smashed it. of south africans followed the race on social networking sites facebook and twitter winston is over the moon mr rolf said he's happy to be back at the office and is now just chilling with his friends meanwhile telcom defensively said it could not be blamed for the slow broadband services

at the durban based company saying several recommendations have in the past been made to the customer but none of these have to date been accepted that was from Telcom's Troy Hector alright alright answering for the final question what is the synopsis of the film Chicken Park

while collecting eggs from her coop Esther has the arteries in her legs pierced By her vicious chickens Causing her to fall and begin bleeding out Can she commando crawl out the gate And let the hungry fox in To stop those hangry hens

Or will she be pecked into peril Wow so that's a feature length film Wow Yeah Sure I think it might have been Maybe it was Mumblecore. I don't understand that genre.

A fictional biography where the life of Peter Brinksworth and his family who become overnight millionaires after his chicken salt invention takes over fish and chip shops across Australia. Throughout the film, Peter must avoid the mafia who are trying to eradicate chicken salt, seeing it as a threat to traditional meals. Sorry, the mafia.

The mafia. Or the mafia, would you say? No, no, now I know what you're talking about. Thank you. Speaking my language. The existence of chicken salt implies the existence of chicken pepper. At the Chicken Park Hotel, an old man sits in the foyer, struggling to break the crust on his creme brulee.

While around him, we see vignettes of the eccentric residents engaging in affairs and intrigue the film was described by roger ebert as almost unbearably french not quite though yeah yeah an italian parody of jurassic park in which a disgraced fighting cock breeder v Vladimir's chicken, is stolen while he is in the Dominican Republic for a cock fight. He immediately begins trying to get it back. During his search, he discovers a secret compound where a mad scientist wants to use the breeder's best rooster

to create the perfect race of genetically modified giant chickens. Oh, yeah, so cool. A deep dive documentary where six vegan activists go undercover to infiltrate two of America's largest breeding farms that supply a majority of the birds used at KFC, Chick-fil-A and Popeyes. Hoping to uncover severe animal cruelty, the group are surprised to find that the farmers have been abiding by the Animal Welfare Act and providing the chickens

with a safe and enjoyable environment to graze in. I love that they still put it out. Yeah. And the food is delicious, by the way. A shock to discover. It's healthy and tasty. It was weird. It was funded by Chick-fil-A.

It was strange, but yeah. Well, finally, set post-Berlin wall fall in St. Petersburg, Chicken Park is the story of two Beatles-obsessed sisters creating an American fried chicken-themed dentistry practice. So you've got the woman trying to make it out of the chicken coop. You've got the fictional biography of the chicken salt man you've got the chicken park hotel the almost unbearably french movie you know those little vignettes you got the italian parody of jurassic park with the cockfighter and the mad scientist deep dive documentary with the six vegan activists or you've got the post berlin wall fall in st

petersburg with the beatles obsessed sisters i mean i feel these are all insane and i feel that there are only two possibilities maybe amongst all of it and i have to choose between them i love what can you do you want want to go down to the two or I'm going to choose the Jurassic Park parody. Locking that in for Andy. Andy, what's the other one that's viable so that I can pick it?

I'm not going to tell you. Well then I'm also going to pick the Jurassic Park parody. He's playing a very safe game, very close to his chest. But does that mean that if I am right? Yeah, it means that he can't beat you. He can't beat me.

But what do you think, Pete? He can't beat me. Right. Well, unless Pete picks mine. Unless Pete picks yours. Yeah, that's right. You're really going all in on this. I love, wow, that's a good point.

I haven't even considered that. What are you thinking, Pete? Well, I'm going to choose. Chris. No, I'm going to choose the one that Roger Ebert called unbearably chicken. Okay. Unbearably French? French, sorry.

Unbearably French. Very chicken-themed episode today. Yeah, has it? Chicken of the sea. Yes. Chicken of the woods. Oh, that has it? Chicken of the sea, chicken of the woods. Oh, that's true. Chicken of the French hotel. Well, Alexei Toliopoulos once said that this is a very bird focused podcast.

And I said, what are you talking about? And I feel like I don't have the chicken legs to stand on. I said, what are you squawking about? That's my catchphrase. What are you squawking about? Look who's squawking now, I said to him. And he said, what? And I said, don't worry about it.

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. While collecting eggs from her coop, Esther had the arteries in her leg pierced by the vicious chickens. Tried to make it out, couldn't. Or could she? That was Alistair Tremblay-Birchall. I was tantalised by this synopsis. It's actually terrifying.

I think that's one of my few fears, is having the legs in my, the arteries in my legs. It's based off a real news story I read once. That happened to a person? Yeah. A person ambassador. I think she may have actually passed away,

but I don't know what she was called. I was about to say that Andy lives a life of few fears then, but now that I know that's true I'm with you Andy. Every waking moment. I'm terrified. Yeah. Set post Berlin wall fall which is just, to me that was enough to pick. Beautiful. But no one did.

That was Peter Thomas. Might have lost them at American fried chicken themed dentistry practice. That's when you gamed me. That was everything, every part of that. I'm like, yes, I'm all in here. Deep dive documentary where six vegan activists go undercover. That was Joff,

aka The House. Very funny. Pretty good. Joff also wrote the one about chicken salt and the mafia coming for him. Joff. Then we had, so one or two of you are correct. Pete went for the one about them almost unbearably French. Yep.

That was Andy Matthews. Meaning the correct answer was the Italian parody of Jurassic Park. So Andy and Al both get three points there and another three points to Andy. Won't give too much away while I'm tabulating the scores. I've got my fingers crossed because I... I got a good feeling about this. I got a real good feeling about this.

On IMDb, this film has got a 2.6 out of 10. Wow. And a review on the website Simki. It was hard to find much about it. So I had to go to a website called Simki. Reads, self-appointed parody of jurassic park with the adams family thrown in for some ill-advised good measure is so screamingly unfunny and aggressively inept that it actually gets difficult to stop watching

you know that imdb they won't let you search for lower rankings than something like five or six so if you're trying to sort by a certain category, you can't get to the number one. Wow. Because I've been trying to find, I'm in a contest to try and find the lowest rated. Yeah. Which now Chicken Park really is giving me a breakthrough.

We might have helped you out here. All right. So I'm going to show you a short clip that's on Simkey from the film. It goes for about a minute and a half. It seems to be chopped out at random. The listeners will be able to hear what it's saying, but if you want to describe what you're seeing. Okay.

Great. So there's a man who looks like a postman maybe in a forest. Small wood. He's uncertain. He's running off i think he might need to relieve himself oh yes he's peeing and he's aiming high as well you know the tree has the texture of kind of what would be like a palm tree or something like that but now it's starting to move and it's a big chicken foot it's actually a

pretty good chicken foot. Like the animatronic to do that huge chicken foot. Very impressive. But there's a huge chicken looming over him. He took the time to shake his penis before he ran off. And now it's just footage of a chicken walking through some grass. Some perspective tricks, maybe? Yeah, maybe.

I mean, if you consider that tricky. This is where it gets weird to me. Two big oafs. Very big. What are they being directed to do here? I don't think they're oafy. This is where it gets weird to me. They're pretty buff looking.

Yeah, they're bodybuilders. They've accosted him. Now they're punching him in his stomach, but it doesn't affect him. Well, now he's stopping to show off his muscles. Yeah. He's just flexing. The movie maker has dubbed himself into English. Yeah.

He seems to be overwhelmed by how buff they are. And now we're seeing... He's got a ring that looks like a like oh i'm very confused this is the richard richard attenborough richard character yeah and the white safari sort of suit yeah and coming out of a like a locomotive car that has the head of a chicken at the front is that not the way and that it just ends. That's the little bit they decided to clip out. Sorry, sorry. That was the trailer for the film?

I guess. It didn't even mention the name of the film. It was missing quite a lot of things. Very, very strange. There wasn't a lot to go on. But I liked it. Yeah, I'm intrigued. I found it almost unbearably French.

Would you give it two and a half stars? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Out of five. Sorry. I don't know what that meant like do you know when i said there was someone mentioned the adams family this is the poster for it oh yeah it seems to have um a parody of the adams family on there so it's very clearly a jurassic park parody mashed up somehow with the adams family it's an odd one. Yeah, interesting. But to me, that's cinema. I don't know enough to say otherwise.

All right, so final score check. And please hang around for the outtakes. Potentially it will go for as long as the episode this week. So here are the scores. First timer in fourth place here on two points, Peter Thomas. Pete, thank you so much. What do you need to tell people about, Pete? Apart from checking out your book with Andy?

Well, I think that's number one. If you're interested in some of the things that I draw, maybe some of the podcast logos that I do, I'm currently working on a new logo or at least an update to the Do Go On logo. So Do Go On fans. Can you give us a heads up on which of the members of the Do Go On cast has been fired from the podcast?

Well, look, we're going to be taking in all of the things you like about Do Go On. We're going to be changing it. So it's going to feature the Do Go On pentagram. It's going to also feature a reoccurring character on Do Go On, Papa Smurf. Yes. Smoking a bong. And, of course, the slogan for Do Go On,

which is all class, no arse. Yeah. And so that's going to be a sort of banner draped over the top. There'll be some cherubs and fireworks and things like that. Calvin peeing. Yeah, and Calvin will be peeing on it as well. It's still in development. So, you know, you can look out for that maybe in the next three to four years.

In third place on five points, it's The House. Congratulations, House. Thank you so much. Does The House have anything to plug? Well, if you want to see The House live, we're coming to Brisbane to do a Who Knew It with Matt Stewart at the Good Chat comedy festival at the start of September, which is what two,

three weeks away. We'd love to see that. They're also doing a standup show with Dave Warnicky, previous guests on this very show. Oh my gosh. Alistair was going to come too, but he decided against it. Yeah.

Which brings me to in second place on eight points. It's Alistair Tremblay-Birchall. Oh my gosh well I should promote I do a podcast called Two in the Think Tank and you could listen to that and fellow guest Andy Matthews is on that. Oh wow great. And I also released some episodes of Shush Your Guided Meditations

if you want to download that podcast. If you want to be shushed to sleep. If you want to be shushed to sleep or shushed to wake. Oh you can shush at either end of the sleep. You can shush anybody in any state of consciousness. Does anyone shush on loop throughout the night so they shush at either end? Yes, some people do, yeah.

Yeah, I do. Great. That means way out in front. On 12 points, the winner this week is Andy Matthews. Thank you so much. I'd also like to take the opportunity to plug Alistair's podcast too in the Think Tank. And Peter's book.

Gustavo and Henry. And also it's available in Spanish as Gustavo y Rita. Yeah, that's right. For our Spanish listeners, yeah, you can pick up Gustavo and Henry. You can pick it up in the United States as well from Red Comet Press. It's still called Gustavo and Henry there. It in the United States that's right from Red Comet Press it's still called Gustav and Henry there

it is yes despite our requests and yeah no it's all over the world so cool please check it out but that brings us to the end of the episode

hang around like I say for probably quite a lengthy outtake section and is there anything else you need to tell people before we go they can find you online if they search you

by your names yeah you can probably still find an old wing attack facebook group or something that you could join if you like and let's bring it back i want to see wing attack at melbourne international comedy festival 2025 that gives you quite a bit of time yeah we could really work it out thanks everyone for listening please give us a five-star review or tell your friends or any of those sort of things. Spread the word. That'd be nice.

No pressure. And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart? Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. I'll see you later. Hey, you toilet. Remember when we dropped you home to record a primates? Yeah, that's right.

We recorded one on the road. What was it? I dropped you off? Yeah. And I was just sort of at the mic between my legs or something? Great times. I'd like to go and listen to that episode. It feels like it's got...

Yeah, that's a nice little time capture one. An episode on the move. It's got wheels. It's got wheels. I was reminded of it because Arnie Donner do some running joke about they're the only podcast that's ever done something. They did a series in a car and people go, Matt actually did a primates in a car. Like they were being serious.

There's actually been one before, a podcast in a car before. Actually it was Matt's. But that's the only one. So I can see how you could overlook that only one time that happened. RDO, mate mate this is my rdo rdo rdo rdo rdo rdo that's an acronym for rdo so we've been recording for data on this whole Oh, my God. That's nothing. This is the show. Notorious RDO. VIG. VIG.

We changed it to RDO. And the similarity there is the number of letters. R-O-D. That's Notorious Rod. Notorious Rod. That's good stuff. Yeah, we're getting a little away from the source material here. The RDO elements falling away.

Incredible R-O-D. Incredible Rod. How are you feeling? Happy to get going? Mm-hmm. I mean, the riffs are almost, if anything, too coherent. Yeah. If you've ever looked at a podcast logo and thought, I wish this logo could talk,

well, that's what Pete is here for today. That's right. I am the talking podcast logo. Pete, the talking podcast logo. It's actually, it's a good thing that you can't see me because it's quite disconcerting. It is. It doesn't look anything like a podcast logo.

Yeah, but it's like one of those AI things where they've just animated the mouth or whatever like that. He is 2D. Yeah, and so if you look at, yeah, I'm 2D. So if you look at me from the side, I'm completely flat and you can't see anything. That's disconcerting. Yeah. But thank you. If they reboot the X-Files it would be great

to have one of the villains be a podcast logo because it would be able to get into all these concealed spaces by sliding in sideways by being two dimensional and imagine

how easily it could you know slice somebody's head off or something whoa that's great yeah so if

what show were you talking about the X-Files if the X-Files guy is here, listening. Listening. If he's here. If he's here. In the room.

Chris Carter. Chris Carter. If you're here, I reckon that's a good one. Pete, can I just double check? You've submitted the answer, hi. Are you just greeting me or is that, are you locking that in? I was just testing that out. Okay, great.

Normally I do write it like a letter. So that was very, very casual. It should be high apostrophe. How are you? I hope this message finds you well. Full stop. High apostrophe. High apostrophe.

You mean comma? I hate to proofread. It's a ground apostrophe. Low apostrophe. Come on, Andy. You know this. It's an Oxford apostrophe. I see.

Northern Hemisphere, they actually do apostrophes down below. Does every university in England have its own comma? I think they do, yeah. The comma is just the apostrophe day and under. I don't think you're considered a real university until you've got your own punctuation mark. I agree with that. Is it M&M's?

Is it M&M's plural? Or is it M&M's, it belongs to the M&M's? Oh, and if that's the case. Apostrophe S. Are we allowed to eat them? That's right. Do they belong? Those are M&Ms.

Don't touch them. M&Ms. Well, I was once the face of M&Ms. Were you? At least I was an extra in one of their ads and featured extra. Did you get a line? Okay, what's one back from that? Extra.

Extra. Extra. I don't think featured... Unfeatured extra? Featured extras don't have a line. Oh, don't they? Okay, sorry. Extra. Extra. I don't think featured extra. Featured extras don't have a line. Okay, sorry. I was in a different spot to the other extras, okay? Okay.

There was a small... It doesn't matter, Al. No, it doesn't matter to me. I was right up the front looking at, or pretending in the shoot, to look at the cartoon M&Ms. But it was just like, it was more like a Dickie Nee sort of mop on a stick, which was where mops normally are. And they just sort of run it along and you had to be like, whoa.

Is that what Dickie Nee was supposed to be in Hey, I'm a Saturday? Yeah, they never did the post. They never could have fixed it in post. I have no, what is M&Ms? Is that short for something? I've never thought about it. Marx and Mensa? Oh, Marxism.

Marx and Marxism. Yeah. Sure. There's people yelling at their iPods at home going, M&M's is obviously... I think it's named after the two founders of the Mars Corporation. Oh, Mars and Mars. Yeah, Mars and Mars. Mr and Mrs Mars and Mars.

So the answers are in for question number one. And I'd just like to tell you three. I'm having a great time. Mr. and Mrs. Mars and Mars. So the answers are in for question number one. And I'd just like to tell you three. I'm having a great time. Yeah. Could the S at the end of M&M's be for Snickers? Mars and Mars Snickers. Mars and Mars and then a little plug for another chocolate at the end.

Alistair, I know you were telling me recently, maybe on this show, that you have a backup plan for life. If money gets tough, you're going to be a street performer or quidnumper where you do one-liners with a hat out in front of you at the shopping centre. That's always the thing I think about as soon as I'm unemployed. I go, I'm going to make a big, long list of one-liners and I'm just going to read through that.

I'm going to tape it so that it goes all the way around. The piece of paper goes all the way around and I just can keep turning it. And I'm just going to get a mic with a portable speaker that I can attach to my belt like that. And then maybe like a mic that I can wear, like I said of a Britney mic and I'm just going to read them and I'm going to have a hat upside down, not upside down to the normal way a busker has it.

Oh, good. Because I was going to say, that's a fatal flaw. Yeah, yeah. Because then coins will fall off of it, roll off down into the gutter. That could be part of your bit. Could be a good bit. All right. Write it on your Mobius strip you've got there.

I love, I think it's one of the great markers of your generation is, you know, the hands-free mic, who you associate it with. Britney, I think that might be the millennial. Gen Xers will say Madonna mic. And then maybe, well, I don't know what the next one is. Maybe Ariana Grande mic. They might say Ariana Grande. Maybe they say Ice, what's her name?

Ice something? Ice. Ice Sugar. Sugar Ice. Anyway. This is such a? Ice something? Ice. Ice sugar. Sugar ice. Anyway, this is such a well-formed plan, Alistair. Yeah. Like, it feels like you've put more thought into your desperation backup plan than you have into any of your actual real-life pursuits.

So you think that this is one of the most rock-solid plans I've ever had? This very flimsy way of me getting... I don't think it should be a plan B. I think it sounds... It's gunning for plan A. I think your life plans are a double A side, right? You could flip over what your current plan is, which is making it as a comedy writer in the big leagues.

Yeah. Flip that over. I think much like Daddy Cool's Eagle Rock, they flipped it over and they thought it was a throwaway song. Bubblegum Pop Song ended up also being number one. I think you're much like they were in the 70s. And I'm also a daddy. And I'm also cool.

Yeah. So. I can't remember the name of that Bubblegum Pop Song. Anyone want to help me out? I don't know. It would have been a great button to that bit. It doesn't sound like two A sides to me. Well, two number one hits.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Fair enough. Maybe. I might be misremembering. So that's your first two options. It's the bag. It's like the 50 cent cone at McDonald's.

I was there. I mean, see this, because I'm a month older than you. No, I'm three months older than you. You're a month older than me. I think of them as 30 cent coins. Oh my goodness. I must have changed over in those three months. Yeah, I think that's where they racked up the price.

You know what's the real scam these days? If you go to McDonald's, you think, I'm going to go get some drive-thru morning time. I'm going to get just a couple of hash browns. Oh my goodness. Right? Yes. And then you go, what's a hash brown worth? Right? And you go, I remember when they were like 50 cents or something like that and they're like 250 now

something like that they're like 250 so you get like a couple hash browns you're thinking i'm gonna get in the cheap meal i'll get three hash browns like that and suddenly your meal is $7.50. And what you have is less than two potatoes worth of potato and 60, what, 30 cents of oil? They've got you right where they want you. Absolutely. The McDonald's Corporation. Yeah, they're using that oil. They've sucked you right in.

Then you eat those hash browns and you're like, ah, fucking I'm going to do this all again tomorrow. I'm absolutely going to. Make it a meal? Normally when you make it a meal, you get the hash brown added in. Do you do it in reverse? Do you want to make it a meal by getting a burger and a drink? Do you remember this, Andy?

So when we were about to do the Two in the Think Tank 300th episode, which is where we do an episode where we have to come up with 300 sketch ideas. Me and Andy went before. It was like 5 a.m. in the morning. Went to McDonald's beforehand to just get some food. And Andy doesn't understand any McDonald's procedure. I'm not, you know, like when you have to immerse yourself in a language to be truly fluent. I feel like that's the way it is with McDonald's.

And they've got their own lingo and their own sort of little codes and that sort of thing that you need to understand. And they just assume you know. It's very arrogant. It's like going to Paris and speaking English. Right. So Andy goes and he orders. He said, I'll have one of your breakfast sandwiches.

I don't know what I'm saying. Like that. And then they said, oh, whatever it is. Like that. And then they said, oh, would you like to make that a meal? He says, oh, I already thought it was a meal. I'm going to eat it,

if that's what you mean. Would you like to make it a meal? No, I'm not thinking of buying this as food. No, this is purely ornamental. Make it a meal. You have to ask separately if you want it edible. Yes. Is that what you were thinking?

I think my brain completely froze and it was a sheer panic because I was like, Alistair and I had very recently had a, the night before, we'd had a confrontation about shoes on the bed. Do you remember this, Alistair? We were driving back to your house. Yeah. And I was going to stay at his place the night before.

Oh, and you're like, obviously I'll get home with my shoes on the bed. No, no, no, no. So I was driving to Alistair's place. I'm going to stay on the spare bed. And I said to Alistair, are the shoes on the bed? Right? and I said to Alistair, are the shoes on the bed? Right?

And he looked at me with sheer panic of like, and he was like, what? And I said, are the shoes on the bed? Okay. And he was just like getting more and more distressed of like, have we fundamentally lost the ability to communicate? We're about to do a 24-hour podcast. This does not bode well. And I was like, are the shoes, are the shoes on the bed?

And he was just like getting more, what are you talking about? And I was like, the last time I'd been in there, his lovely wife had been selling a whole lot of shoes and there were shoes all over the bed. But it was just like this complete breakdown. Man, I was feeling like I was losing my mind then. So I think I understood how Al felt. Because I'm like, what's happening? Andy really made it a meal. You want to make a meal of this? You want to make a meal of this interaction?

Yeah. That could be something. Can I have that? That's yours. That's yours. It's amazing how easy it is to just take the English language and destroy it. Or any language.

Putting it all out of order and then suddenly it doesn't compute anymore. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, and also removing any context from what you're saying so that it doesn't, again, mean anything. This is a perfect beer soda mug. I think you could have invented something here, the beer mug. Beer mug, that's good. All right, so we're up to question number one

what's a what's a toonie oh loony toonie yeah well there's loonies and there's toonies i have no idea well a loony is a canadian dollar really because it's got the um i think it's got the loon on it the uh whatever whatever the duck is on the on the canadian dollar and then the toonie is when they came out with the two dollar coin i'm gonna go i'm planning very softly to go to canada for a trip next year and i'll have to get your advice about it yeah yeah i'd love to give you everything i know which is very little because i left when i was uh you know barely a teenager well you've already developed the voice though i've developed the voice a fair bit. And you're a great example of where, like, scientists should study your family when an accent's locked in

because your younger brother's got an Aussie accent, right? My youngest, yeah, who was, like, he was maybe under, he was maybe eight. And you were 13 or something? Yeah, I was 13, yeah. Yeah, isn't that interesting? Or not. So did you develop the Canadian accent after you moved to Australia?

Yeah, I developed it here because it needed to be developed. You're a late bloomer. Yeah. I think Dave Callan's the same. He's kept the Irish accent and his younger siblings got an Aussie accent. I find that fascinating. I truly find it fascinating. Or really boring.

Yeah, but sometimes the line is very thin. Yes, it is. Someone should study that line as well. I found the Alistair fact interesting. I found the Dave Callen fact boring. So it's somewhere between Ireland and Canada? That's right. Newfoundland. Yeah, it had a bit of a, is it Mawson? Who was the one? Or Scott? Yeah, Captain Oates.

I learnt that from The Adventures of Lionel Woodley. Just going out for a walk, I may be some time. Yeah, and then Lionel's in the, I don't know if you... I'm getting mine from Red Dwarf, so you do yours. I learnt mine from Lionel Woodley because I got a feeling. I got a feeling. I got a feeling. I got a bit of an inkling That tonight's gonna be a

Story about me One of those days Are we the two guys? Are we the four guys? We're the four guys We're the four guys This is a show All about me

And me, Will.i.am I used Phil Spector to make a wall of fucks I merged the things I've learned from Phil Spector And the Mona Museum in Hobart The wall of vaginas Mixed with the wall of sand And I've created a wall of noisy vaginas A wall of queefs.

This may or may not make the post-credits. I don't know. A prospective wall of queefs. Do you think that the points that you get for guessing the correct answer are somehow less valuable than the points that you get for tricking people into guessing the rules? I agree, yes. I do think that. Do you think that's something in the next 50 episodes we could change?

Introduce a new two-tiered scoring system. Like what kind of ratio? Make it like football. You get six points for you. Oh, quite a big difference. And only two for guessing the right answer. Or they are exactly the same number of points, but in the event of a draw.

Oh, I'd count back. Oh, not bad. It gives you the edge. So we'll do it like the Brownlow used to be in the AFL, back in the VFL days, where they do a count back. The most three votes would get the win, even though to me that makes no sense. So in the Brownlow you get every game as three votes,

two votes and one vote. And the most best on grounds used to win. It would go, if you finish on the same amount of points, you'd go over the top with the three of it. But that means that people who polled votes in more games, surely the players who polled in the top three in more games are better than the ones who were best on ground in less games, if you know what I mean.

But they don't have this system anymore. No, now they'll just give out multiple votes. So they haven't had this system for probably 30, 40 years. In my lifetime. Yeah, okay, right. But we're relitigating it right now on the podcast. I love your brain having voting systems from, like, non-top tier football systems. Non-top tier?

Come on. Oh, VFL was the top tier? Yes. I'm sorry. Well, you know, it was the state league that became the AFL. But Andy making fun of me was enough to probably get that into the post. Great. Yes.

Great. Because as I was explaining it, I'm like, why have I started this? There should be more points as well for getting rifts into the bit after the. Oh, I don't mind that at all. Also, after the post credits, you get another second scoring system that nobody's present for. Who won the off-cuts? Well, in America, they would call it math. Math, yeah.

Way more efficient over there. Yeah. All right, so the score's off to one. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Sandy Cohen, America's Dad? I think you referenced Sandy Cohen more than anyone else,

probably in Australia, maybe in the world. Sandy Cohen and the nanny, I think, two that America has forgotten about. Imagine if they got together. Oh, my God. I've just extended our podcast studio booking by half an hour. Excellent. Great work.

And it's so fun. I think you'll really enjoy this tune. I'll take that second grade point and enjoy it. Hey, we're still in the old system. It's a first grade point for you. No countbacks required. This will be like getting a Grand Slam in the pre-open era, though. They won't, people will look back on it and say, you know,

Rod Laver didn't really do, wasn't as dominant as he appeared to be. It was the butterfly clap that started the tsunami. Yeah, right. No, butterfly don't clap. Flap. They flap. Not the flap, not the clap. But if you could get a butterfly to clap,

I imagine that would ripple through history. Yeah, you have that in you. You attach importance to things. Isn't it weird? Did you put your hand in any of the holes? No, I didn't. That would be nice. I think that would be one of the nicest things. Oh, it weird? Did you put your hand in any of the holes? No, I didn't. That would be nice. I think that would be

one of the nicest things. Oh, in the, yeah, sorry. The golf holes. Golf holes. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, he's pitching 10s forward.

He's just not filling them with camping gear. Yeah, let's just say. Impotent. Impotent. Impotent Impotent Impotent Andy I know

Because you're the biggest supporter of this show Would you be up for it one week To come in And just you and me No you host it And maybe We flip this around Me

Alan Pete Contest I heard you bring this up on an earlier episode of the podcast And you know what I thought straight away I thought And maybe we flip this around, me, Al and Pete contest. I heard you bring this up on an earlier episode of the podcast. You know what I thought straight away? I thought, God, I'd love it if I got to do that. If I could be the person who got to do that, that would be so good.

And then I could die finally. I'd love you to do it if you were keen. Yeah. And I could give you the folder of the answers, but I've sort of breezed through them quite a bit. So maybe it'd be safer if you just came up with your own one. Yeah, I'd love that. You sent me through a good one. I don't know if you heard that episode about the spurtle,

the golden spurtle. Fantastic question. Grace Jarvis is currently in Scotland. I should message her saying, can you get a photo of you with some porridge? Alright, we're up to question number five. She sent you the photo and then you just never tweeted or put it out publicly or anything like that. So after four rounds, sorry Pete. I was just saying keep that in.

This is very good. You keep that in you c**t. Don't Don't Don't take a second out I I did have the thought of going 50th episode special Release the full thing This is

Just so you know The work I do Yeah And then And then all the things Where you're like That's getting cut This guy doesn't exist

On the pod Yeah It's just long bleeps Yeah And still it goes for The same length You're like, that's getting cut. This guy doesn't exist on the pod. Yeah. It's just long bleeps. Yeah. It still goes for the same length, but I just bleep out long periods. I think they should reclaim it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Lady, how would you do that? I'd start a new movement called Putt Sluts. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And, you know, it's women, they play on full-size courses, but they putt the whole fucking thing. Yeah.

To me, it sounds like a very good accent, but the thing that gives it away is how much your face has to move to create that sound. Yeah, because in those movies, they don't move their face at all. They don't move their face very much, but yours is going all over the room. Ah, you fucked him yeah I fucked him

he fucked me sideways you are good at that Pete is very good at voices fuck off so yeah Chris is that me

was that me sorry cheers mate oh pardon me pardon me oh I must be hungry get her done get her done

get her done get her done get her done truck's birthday certainly not nothing wrong what's interesting with the writing those ones is that

you kind of just have to go with the idea that whatever the first thing that comes yeah you don't have the time to fuck around yeah because you got so much writing to do yeah just got to get it out there get it out there get it out there get it out there get Get it out there. Get it out there. Get it out there. You're only meant to blow the bloody... Get it out there. I need to get it out there. I don't...

You've got to get it out there. It's hard, and then you have to do it. I think it's a bit hard. It's hard to start you have to do it. Oh, I think it's a bit hard. It's hard to start with, but then you've got to get it out there. Only at the bloody door. Michael Caine going through a tunnel but master bros

that's a great impression to master and I think Pete has I'm like, oh. That's a great impression to master. And I think Pete has. Thank you. And Alistair, I think you're getting very close. But that also feels like Al's done the opposite from what we were talking about earlier, where he's only doing the first few letters of the words. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm trying to be really consistent with my bits. I don't introduce new ideas. I just use the old ones and perfect it you just need to cut out all the consonants get rid of them all that's my Michael Caine

that is very good sorry that'll go post credits all right text me thanks jason jason jason statham As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks.