Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 51 - Tom Cashman and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Tom Cashman (Taskmaster, the Project) and Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Daves' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and you may know our first guest from the project Taskmaster Australia, where he's fired against landlords. It's Tom Cashman. What is going on? I've already had two gripes with the process, and I'm going to try to bring this kind of enthusiasm for games on the chip to my

expertise within this game normally people wait till the end of the episode to give me feedback but you got straight in on the front foot before we even started recording that's right i just want to i suppose by implication establish my own scoring system so if if i lose but would have won in the scoring system that i've suggested, then I kind of get a moral victory, I suppose. Feels a bit like the English cricket team. They did a bit of that during the Ashes. Yeah, no, I don't like that comparison because in that case, I quite like the letter of the law. But I suppose in this case, the letter of the law kind of seems a bit more overturnable because it's one bloke as opposed to a big organization.

Okay. Our second guest this week is host of the Do Go On and book cheat podcast and you can see him live in brisbane this weekend it's dave warnicky hello and i just want to say i love the system everything about it that's um one of the most suck upy things i've ever heard it is absolutely love the system i'd love it even more if i could get a bonus point for that is that allowed um tom would you accept a bonus point at this stage in your system i think that giving a bonus point to dave at this stage would make a mockery of the whole process and it would set the worst precedent possible not only for this episode for every subsequent episode of this podcast how dare you

even suggest such a thing and that's why i don't subscribe to the tom cashman system but i go with who knew with matt stewart system because i know i'm definitely worthy of a point here it doesn't feel right but i have to side with tom here it's falling apart uh it's like inflation or something if you get about points like that they become absolutely worthless all of a sudden you need a wheelbarrow just to get enough points to draw even give me some points they'll trickle down to everyone else it'll work out beautifully i never understood that you know you hear about like back in inflationary periods in the great depression or something it's like people had to had to have like a wheelbarrow full of money to buy like a loaf of bread i'm always

like well how did they buy the wheelbarrow yeah they wouldn't need to make more money for that how did they get to the wheelbarrow store so dave you are And I am In Brisbane this weekend Second or third of September Some good chat Comedy club shows Some podcasts

On Saturday afternoon It's Who Knew It With Matt Stewart On Sunday it's my show Book Cheat And we're doing some stand up On Saturday and Sunday night What a great weekend

So much fun Tom you doing anything This weekend You should come to Brisbane I'm in Newcastle On this weekend So yeah Please come along to my shows in newcastle all right well let me explain how the show works in terms of at least my system tom will explain his own as we go but the way the show works is i ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants

have to write a convincing fake answer i then read their answers as well as the real one and i have to guess which one is correct the first first question comes from listener Kayla Hodquitz from Maine in the USA and the question is what does the Victorian era term umble cum stumble mean? What does the Victorian era term umble cum stumble mean? While they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house and I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each

of us can score up to two points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favors me. The house and the house always wins. Though if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is nearly never the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters This is so fun. That's what I want to hear. I've realised I'm shit at it, though. I came in with confidence. We'll find out as it goes along, I guess. I mean, I can't think of a better way to determine who's better than the competition that's ahead of us. Yes.

And do you want to quickly explain to the listeners the Cashman system? So, as it's been explained to me, if a contestant such as myself correctly guesses the correct definition they're awarded one point and if another contestant guesses your definition your fake definition as if it was the correct one you're also awarded one point in my view the second thing that i just described is much more impressive than the first thing i described having tricking another contestant into guessing yours basically should should lead to you getting more than one point, at least two, perhaps even three, I would argue. Is that, well, what do you, you tell me,

because I'll keep both of your scores. And then, so, in order to decide that, could you please tell me how many answers in total we guessed from in each round? There'd be five. So, the correct one and four fake ones. Wow. So, to make yours better than four other ones,

including the correct one itself, that's three points for me. Three points. All right. Wow. And only one point for guessing the correct one? Correct. Okay.

So that's where our systems align. Oh, with a one. Yeah. But I mean, it's all relative. It's just a matter of how much those two things differ. It could be two and six well and in round seven we do triple points so there we go all right am i the most annoying guest you've had no i'm loving how involved you're being okay

thank you the worst guests are the ones who are you know checking their watch stuff like that i've never had one, but I assume. Okay, so I am the worst guest you've ever had. The ones that are worse than me are theoretical. All right, the answer in for question number one. What does the Victorian era term, humble come stumble mean? A bushy mound at the foot of a tree, which serves as fertile ground for fungi, particularly the poisonous variety an epic bar

crawl that starts out fancy but ends in a drunken mess to understand comprehensively a man who finishes too quickly or to fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavory oh can we hear the word it's humble come stumble is that it humble come stumble stumble and this is a real term that people in the Victorian era said Because it actually Sounds quite rude Yeah I thought people were

Quite fancy back then But I'm finding out now That they're actually Quite rude Apparently it was a Lower class term Yeah you can tell Is there anything

Sticking out to you Early there Tom? I'm going to be Annoying and ask for A repeat of all of it If that's alright I'd love one too So fantastic No worries A bushy mound At the foot of a tree which serves as fertile ground

for fungi particularly the poisonous variety an epic bar crawl that starts out fancy but ends in a drunken mess to understand comprehensively a man who finishes too quickly or to fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavory can i hear that last one again to fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavoury? Can I hear that last one again? To fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavoury. Wow, and then hang on. Do we have to lock in separately or does someone, how does that work?

Yeah, you lock in separately. And we're sending out things to you. No, no, you just tell me. But then hang on. No, but then Dave's going to copy me, maybe. Oh, well, well he could I could But usually what Matt goes to one

Contestant One round first And then the next round I'll answer first So it goes back and forth Okay so I'm first In this round Yeah

If you want I mean Dave How about you go first Tom's looking Okay No I'll be going first No no Tom doesn't No what the hell

I was about to go What are you talking about You're making it look like I'm incapable first. No, no, Tom doesn't... No, what the hell? I was about to go. What are you talking about? You're making it look like I'm incapable of going. No, no, no, no. Tom doesn't feel ready to go first, so... I was just clarifying the rules. What about in the Cashman system? Is there any...

Is there a different way that we answer? I think... No, I like the rotating ones because I like that, you know, people... Because it's a benefit to go second, obviously. Get a bit more information. But then I also like the idea of going first. What I was just thinking about is like you could choose your own, you know, as a bit of like a misdirect and then see if the other person copies you.

Because in my system, that would then give you three points. That's right. Well, and you can't lock in your own, but you can fake it. You have to change light if you do that. Oh, you can't? You're not allowed to guess your own? Why not? Not allowed to lock in your own? Well you can fake it. You have to change late if you do that. Oh, you can't? You're not allowed to guess your own? Why not? Not allowed to lock in your own.

Well, I don't know. This is episode 51. This is just how it's happened. I can't remember how every little bit of it came to be, but at some point, and I don't have confidence to make rules myself. The guests would have said, no, I think you shouldn't be allowed to choose your own. I would have said, yeah, no, I think they're right. Whoever said that.

Yeah. But now it's the rules. Yeah. Look, and I disagree, but I suppose that's one way it will affect the behavior. So there's no point kind of peeping a tally on my version of it. I'm going to go. Am I going first? Yeah, if you want to.

I'm going to go with that last one last one to fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavory for Tom what about you Dave uh I feel like maybe like it's counterintuitive and it's the uh the shortest one about what was that one about like to understand comprehensively humble come stumble do you want humble come stumble what I'm saying yeah I want it to be that one all right look that in for dave well is that fair you just used it in a sentence as if it was that word okay what about this before the lock-in happened oh no tom you've umble come stumble you've umble come stumbled you did mine in a more humorous way which implies that it's not correct

well no i because you've fallen down which i was worried about yeah but then i realized you didn't land in my one sucks the one i've looked in is so obvious because they all kind of allude to like they all sounded a bit fake but like so i thought i'd go with the like the most obvious one with the word stump like which actually stumble was welcome to and now i want to take it back well you can't can. It's not too late. You'll allow that. Sorry. This is too much bickering about the rules. But you allowed a take back after hearing the other person's answer.

Yeah. You should not allow that, Matt. Come on, stand up for yourself. You don't humble come stumble over there, Matt. Jesus. Wait, are you telling me you should be locked in? Absolutely. Okay, well, then you're locked in.

Here's who wrote the answers. An epic bar crawl that starts out fancy but ends in a drunken mess. That was Kayla, aka The House. A man who finishes too quickly, also Kayla, aka The House. A bushy mound at the foot of a tree serving as fertile ground for fungi, or fungy, as we learned last week, some people say. That was Tom Cashman. To fall down but avoid landing in anything unsavory that was dave warning i gotta say i love the tom cashman system three points fantastic thank you so much

meaning that to understand comprehensively which dave went for is the correct answer. Oh, no. So, maximum two points in the traditional system and four points in the Cashman system for Dave Warnock. I love this system, Tom. You've got it right. The weird thing about my system is there's a I take these back, these floors inherent in the system which can be exercised by the owner of the system at any time. And I'd like to exercise that.

You also tried to, you were considering taking back i'd like to exercise that you also tried to uh you're considering taking back your answer but then said that you weren't allowed to i was like i love this everything you're saying it's great for me there's one thing i'm committed to more than losing it's fairness yeah thank you that's great to hear because you are now losing what terrible stuff so we're up to question number two now. This one comes from Lars van Coveden from Utrecht in the Netherlands. And Lars' question is, according to legend, what were the famous last words of the Dutch naval lieutenant Jan van Spijkt after his ship drifted into the enemy shoreline during the Belgian War of Independence? He said it in Dutch or or whatever but the the answers

will take her and translate it into english so according to legend what were the famous last words of the dutch naval lieutenant jan van spike after his ship drifted onto the enemy shoreline during the belgian war of independence while you're writing your answers here's some more info on umbelkamp stumble it was the word of the day on lexicophilia who helpfully wrote that it comes from the word under come stumble which means to understand so that's pretty helpful that's what i thought was like the fake thing that someone thought like when they're in a rush and they think oh yeah it starts it kind of sounds like understand or just fake it yeah so oh you gotta trust those instincts well

but this is the thing it's so difficult to know like that's actually how words happen so the same like because someone did come up with them when they sound like someone made them up it's like yeah that is how yeah that's right it was just a while ago instead of today the website also lists an example taken from great heart a book by walter thornberry from 1866 and the quote is well he stole on behind a rock like a coast guard man watching a boat and got very near the noise he couldn't humble come stumble the words they were greek and hebrew to him i think that clears things up there all right the answers are in for question number two according to legend what were the famous last words of the Dutch naval lieutenant Jan

van Spijk after his ship drifted onto the enemy shoreline during the Belgian War of Independence? Do I smell burning waffles? I can't swim, but I'll give it a good go. To become an infamous Belgian? I'd rather blow up. This may be the last of me, but it will certainly mean the last of my enemy or i think this is all gonna work out just fine so dave you're up first here again can you get in the

mind of a dutch lieutenant oh absolutely can we have one more time please sure do i smell burning waffles i can't swim but i'll give it a good go to become an infamous belgian i'd rather blow up this may be the last of me but it will certainly mean the last of my enemy. Or I think this is all going to work out just fine. Wow. What does it mean to be an infamous Belgian? Right, because he's- Do you know anything about the Belgian War of Independence?

Is it- Was it Netherlands versus Belgium? I actually- I don't know. They're very close together. I mean, you wouldn't have a famous quote if you were drifting into your, like, friendly territory. That's true. I mean, maybe you would and it would be the last one. It's like, I think everything's going to be just fine because why wouldn't it be? I love these guys, don't I?

He just didn't talk for the last three or four decades of his life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's an introvert. The second last one's the most badass. Yes. Which was, remind me of... This may be the last of me, but it will certainly mean the last of my enemy. Do either of you speak Dutch?

Yeah, but I choose not to prove it. Okay. Okay. Okay. And maybe the burning waffles. I mean, that would be something that people would write down, you know? Yeah. Do I smell burning waffles?

Because he might have been having a stroke, right? Is that one of the symptoms? Right. This is before toast, so they said it was waffles. Yeah, well, they had to put it in terms that a Dutch person would understand. Or is it waffles Dutch or Belgian? I think that maybe- Isn't that what you're saying?

Belgian. Right. Belgian waffles. Like, do I smell burnt waffles? Dutch pancakes, Belgian waffles. And he's like grabbing a flamethrower. Do I smell Belgian waffles Like do I smell burnt waffles Dutch pancakes Belgian waffles And he's like grabbing a flamethrower Do I smell Belgian waffles Maybe this is what the war was all about

It was waffles v pancakes for some sort of dessert So is it normal for the contestant To be able to talk through the different options With the administrator Yeah oh yeah you want to talk them through I like to I like to talk through the board Tom you've got to remember as um i'm gonna say tom you

gotta remember as well i'm also playing so you know i'm do you think i'm helping dave or hindering him who knows i don't want to trust this guy true dave what do you think i'm gonna go with burnt waffles burnt waffles all right locking that in for dave and what are you thinking tom so this is the thing i didn't understand are waffles a belgian delicacy yeah that's what i think we think yeah belgian waffles you hear that and what year was this this was during the belgian war of independence i know no more than that could have been recently god in my mind waffles are like recent american things. You know what I mean? Right. Those squares were invented after like sandwich press-esque machinery was introduced. I've just quickly checked.

The history and origin of waffles can be traced back to ancient Greece. Wow. Oh, my God. So, you've underestimated slightly there. Jesus. What about the Jaffel? How old's the Jaffel? Next, we'll be hearing that the Cocoa Pops are from

ancient Egypt. Jaffels are an Aussie invention going back to 1949. Yes. Slightly less history with the Jaffel then, okay. God, they were so close with the waffle. From the Jaffel. It took thousands of years to work out.

Come on, Grace. You meant to be smart. I am going I think it's waffles, but I need it to catch up here. So, I'm going to go, what was the swimming one? I can't swim, but I'll give it a good go. Then, yeah, to become an infamous Belgian, I'd rather blow up. This may be the last of me, but it'll certainly mean the last of my enemy, or I think it's all going to work out just fine. An infamous Belgian.

I agree that doesn't make sense because you don't become Belgian just because you're going near there and you fight them. This is the thing. It's like either that's a bad suggestion from one of your listeners who's not very good at this game or... And you've got to remember that the guy who wrote this question is Dutch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that mean?

Maybe it makes more maybe maybe it makes more sense oh it's a lost in translation type thing yeah and it would be a good quote if it like if it is a bit nonsensical but kind of anti-belgium like people in in the netherlands would like it i'm gonna go with that one i'm so bad at this game well locking that in for tom here's who wrote the answers. I think this is all going to work out just fine. That was The House. This may be the last of me, but it'll certainly mean the last of my enemy, which Dave, you thought was badass.

That was Tom Cashman. Oh, Tom, you've got to write an action movie. That's awesome. Yeah, you went for the waffles, though. When I think of Tom Cashman, I think badass. Yeah. I can't swim, but I'll give it a good go. That was Dave Warnicky.

I almost swam that one. You were very close. I almost swam that one. Man, I was sweating when you were talking about that one. Honestly, I was like, don't pick a Tom. Don't pick it. I don't want to dominate you too much. Do I smell burning waffles?

That was Lars, aka The House. That's good stuff, Lars. That's good stuff. Meaning the correct answer is to become an infamous belgian i'd rather blow up yes yes so tom's on the board yeah and so is the house i hope you have an explanation as to what the hell this means yeah and and that's like they've cleaned it up the direct translation makes even less sense that's try to make it make more sense uh but quickly i'm just

putting in uh hang on can i ask another points question so the house is playing i didn't understand this until now and the house has how many as three entries two entries from the house interesting one real one and then you each have and so in your system well now in your system i can do really well because no but hear me out in your system, I can do really well. No, no, no. But hear me out. In your system, the house gets the same amount of points for correctly tricking a contestant than another contestant, even though the house gets two opportunities to do so and the other contestant gets one. Yes, but what you're forgetting here, what you're forgetting is that the house doesn't

have a chance to guess the correct answer. So, each of us can score up to two points per round. Yeah, it's two points per round or two opportunities, right? Yeah. That's great. That makes a lot of sense. I'll take that back. I love that aspect of the system.

All right. So, after two rounds, if you want a score update, it's Tom and the house on one point each, but out in front, it's Dave. But in the Tom Cashman system, Tom's on one point, the house is on three points, but out in front it's Dave on four points. No, no. So, okay. Can I adjust my...

So, my system needs to be adjusted to reflect what you just said. Okay. The number... Like the house doesn't get three points because they've got two opportunities. Okay, sure. So, what is the house? The house doesn't get three. The house gets one and a half.

That's not very elegant, is it? I don't like half points being introduced. Well, maybe the house still gets one either way. I think maybe the house gets one either way. Yeah, great. In that case, in the Tom Cashman system, it's Tom and the house on one, Dave on four. In the traditional system, it's Tom and the house on one, Dave on two. Yeah.

Love it. Okay. Beautiful. So, it hasn't changed the result, but it has changed the margin. So totally. And I suppose I'm a bit into one's about, so can we come up, can we have two Tom systems? So one where it's one point. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, I'm open to it. It's the first guy. I'm going to need a new spreadsheet. To ruin a, but like to make people quit doing a podcast. This is going to be the last episode. All right, we're up to question three.

This one comes from Michael Brown from Youngstown in God's Country, Ohio. The question from Michael is, what is former UFC flyweight Ian McCall's nickname? What is former UFC flyweight Ian McCall's nickname. What is former UFC flyweight Ian McCall's nickname? While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about Jan Van Spikes. According to Lars, after he said this, he blew up his own ship. The literal translation of his words is slightly different, which is, and become a Brabantian then rather into the sky sounds like gibberish brabant is a province in belgium and into the sky

translates to blow up apparently um according to history ec.net van spike is said to have shot into a powder keg with a rifle after saying this so he said i'd rather blow up than be an infamous belgian then he blows the ship up in paintings this is usually depicted differently and the commander ignites the gunpowder using a fuse or his cigar almost all those on board including van spike himself and several belgians who had stormed the boat were killed it's unclear whether the commander actually spoke these words because i mean most of the people who would have heard it would be dead so yeah or it'd be very loud ringing in their ears at the very least after his self-chosen death he was

declared immortal however his death and that of his crew members had no military significance apart from great propaganda value so there's a heap of paintings and poems and stuff dedicated to him in this moment and i love that he's like i don't want to become a belgian so i'll blow myself up but what about everyone else yeah yeah can we quickly chat about this let's take a vote but yeah i also don't really understand if he didn't like it he was being taken over by the belgians but would that make him an infamous belgian no you know it would only make him a belgian if know, when, like, I suppose this happened more with religions, but they capture you and then they make you convert before killing you. Like if he converted to being Belgian, which would be the ultimate act of cowardice as a Dutchman in that era, I'd imagine. Yeah.

Yes. So, do you hear that? Sir whatever. Ghost of Van Spike? Yeah. You're a wuss. Whatever. Ghost of Van Spike?

Yeah. You're a wuss. Here are the answers for question number three, which is, what is former UFC flyweight Ian McCall's nickname? The Scottish Telephone, Caribbean Ian, Little Grimace, The Bedside Table, or Uncle Creepy? What's his name again? Ian. Ian McCall. Ian McCall. Ian McCall.

Can I have them one more time, please? Sure can. The Scottish Telephone. Caribbean Ian. Little Grimace. The Bedside Table. Or Uncle Creepy. They all paint a vivid picture.

Uncle Creepy's awesome. I'm going to go The Bedside Table because it's the only one that's not based on his name. Yeah. Is Little Grimace based on his name? Little Grimace. Uncle Creepy? Wait, which ones are based on his name? Oh, true.

I won't reveal. The Scottish telephone. I'm saying too much. I'm helping because I do see some links to the name. Yeah. But you go on the bedside table? Yeah. What do you think that means in terms of a professional fighter? Reliable.

Always there when you need it. Quite associated with sleep, like putting you to sleep. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like being choked out, you know, watching you as you sleep, which is what a successful MMA fighter does. And what a bedside table does. You think of them as watching you? Yep.

No, I do. Watching over you? Every time someone comes into my place, they're like, why have you put eyes on all your tables? I say, get out of my house right now. Me and all my mates want you out. And by mates, I mean tables. All right.

So, we've locked in the bedside table for Tom. What are you thinking, Dave? All right. I can talk through the board now because Tom's locked in his answer. I was struck by the ones that made me think of the name, which is Caribbean Ian, which is great. But it's American sport. They're probably going to say Caribbean Ian. And that doesn't sound good.

Yes. Good point. Caribbean Ian. Caribbean Ian. That is- Yeah, that's a mouthful. This is impeccable logic. probably gonna say caribbeanian and that doesn't sound good yes good point caribbeanian caribbeanian that is that's a mouthful this is impeccable logic that is good logic but the scottish telephone mick call that is good stuff that's good stuff so that that's what i'm tempted by the other ones are bedside table little grimace and uncle creepy uncle creepy what does little grimace make you think like a small purple man yeah not a small expression on his face look at the little grimace he's got there

those you know when they get the fighters together to like um yell at each other and be all mean and like intimidating if all he can muster is a little grimace, this guy's not going to play for us in the MMA. Yeah, I mean, I did say former UFC flyweight. So, maybe that's why I never made it. Yeah, he was exercised for not grimacing hard enough. But flyweight, that's quite small. Like, a little grimace, maybe.

But I think I'm going to go with Scottish telephone, Mick Call. Mick Call, okay. Even though Uncle Creepy definitely needs an honourable mention. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Caribbean Ian, that was Michael. Okay, the house. Michael is American as well. He probably wrote it as Caribbean Ian.

But maybe that- Do they say Ian? Like, how do they say Ian? Ah, Caribbean Ian. Ian. Or do they say Ian? Hey, Ian. No. Ian. But maybe that- Do they say Ian? Like, how do they say Ian? Oh, Caribbean Ian. Ian. Oh, do they say Ian? Hey, Ian. No. Ian.

No. Hey, Ian. Hey, Ian. Ian. Ian. Caribbean Ian. Caribbean Ian. Michael, what have you done to us?

There was an actor in the 90s, an American actor, whose name was what we would say Ian Ziering, but they would say Ian Ziering. Oh. And I don't know if I'm extrapolating just from him, if he was just one guy, it's like, I actually pronounce it different, or if that's what all Americans... Because it doesn't seem like a very American name, Ian. But his first name was I-A-N.

Yeah, I think so. I swear... It was like Beverly Hills, 90210. I swear I've heard, like, Americans have, like, American Ians be out there. And if they were all Ian, I feel like that's something I would have encountered already. Yeah. Surely. But you've got one example.

I've extrapolated. Well, but that's more than I've ever heard. So. Ian. You wanted him to be called Ian's Earringring ian's earring ian's earring yeah uh what are we doing okay some answers so yes caribbean ian that was michael the house little grimace that was tom i loved it were you also picturing a small mcdonald's character yeah so my idea was little was the flyweight and then Mook is the beginning of his last name.

So, I was thinking of a McDonald's character because of like a Mook. That was my idea. But it didn't really, it didn't quite translate to it. And the middle of Grimace is actually Mac as well. If you take the G-R-I-A off, all you left is Mac. And that was intentional. That was part of it. You're on another level.

Thanks, mate. Mine are too good. My tricks are fucking, even I don't see them. Yeah, I'm like, UFC, these people get punched in the head for a living. They're not coming up with stuff like that. Come on. Oh, my God. The Scottish telephone, which Dave went for, that was the house.

I mean, I'm happy to give the house a point for that. I borrowed that basically from a nickname that Brisbane Lions player Hugh McCluggage has, which is the Scottish suitcase. That's good too. McCluggage. Then we've got the bedside table, which Tom went for. That was Dave. Sorry, Tom.

You were really sinked in. And I was also thinking, it's reliable. It's there. It's the bedside table. Were you actually? Yeah. Oh, my God. You absolute piece of shit.

You know my brain better than I do. Dave runs my world. And that means the correct answer is Uncle Creepy. Uncle Creepy. Wow. That felt like a gag from a listener for sure not a great nickname i would not be leaning into that one i don't think creepy i was thinking like like i was thinking from like a corporate perspective or something in the mma this is big business the last that

a lot of these guys are already like up on charges for all sorts of stuff like the last thing they need is someone being called uncle creepy i thought their pr department would take it aside like mate you're gonna be called the bedside table or something. This is unacceptable. All right. So that's round three. Quick score update. Tom's on one, the house on two, Dave's still out in front on three.

That's in the traditional system. In Tom's new system, Tom's on one, the house is on two, but way out in front is Dave on seven. I love this system, Tom. Honestly, I see a big future in this system. Tom's on one, the house is on two, but way out in front is Dave on seven. I love this system, Tom. Honestly, I see a big future in this system. I hate this system so much, dude. The system blows. That brings us up to question number four.

This one comes from Amy Clark from Winterport in Maine. Beautiful neck of the woods. Oh, fantastic. Most easily part of mainland USA. No bonus points for facts, though. No, we talked about that. Dave's getting cocky. Dave's trying to get two view of points.

He's trying to change the game to other skills he has. It's like every fact you can give, you should get 10 points. So, Amy's question is, describe Kiwakwa, the infamous cryptid found in the forests of Maine. So, it's a local, bit of a local question. So, you just want to, you know, give it a bit of a rundown, maybe a bit of physical appearance, maybe some of its personality or attributes or whatever. Sorry, could I get a spelling on the first thing and then a descriptive of what a cryptid is? Oh, cryptid's like, you know, a yeti or the yaoi. You know, it's like an animal that probably doesn't exist,

but some people really believe they exist. Love it. Okay. And it's spelled K-I-W-A-K-W-A. Loch Ness Monster is another famous example. K-I-W-A-K-W-A. Kiwakwa. So, we're describing the kiwakwa.

Yeah, maybe physical appearance or maybe someone you know what why is it famous what's the deal and sorry i'm sorry where was it in maine in maine yes in the usa while you're writing your answers here's a little more info about uncle creepy according to michael in 2012 in mccall faced demetrius mighty mouse johnson in the third ever ufc event in in Australia. The original fight result was a decision for Johnson but upon review the Australian commission recounted the score cards and the fight ended in a draw. If I'm reading this right they miscounted and had to like a literal we need a recount. How many judges cards are there like three? Anyway Michael says

that this added controversy and embarrassment to the Athletic Commission's oversight of the event. All right. While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca Alright, your answers are in. Here is question number four.

Describe Kiwakwa, the infamous cryptid found in the forests of Maine. A seven-foot tall cannibalistic humanoid that looks similar to Bigfoot only with all white fur known for their shrill shrieking cry. With the head of a donkey and the body of a deer this mythical creature is seen as a bit of a joke to Maine locals. The legend is thought to have originated with the sighting of an emaciated mule. The Kiwakwa is at home in the sand dunes, most often spotted during summer, immediately after sunrise or before dusk. He boasts a long flat head and body atop undersized arms and legs, which help him scurry through the sand at high speeds. A huge bulbous head the size

of a beach ball with long feet where you'd expect the neck to be, also known as the head that waddles or a cave-dwelling fox that walks upright has small horns and a second set of eyes in the back of its head well am i going first this time yeah back to you dave yes this is this is tricky can we hear like a summary of them again so you had the uh the white bigfoot known for its shrill shrieking cry it's also a cannibal head of a donkey body of a deer bit of a joke one the sand monster it's flat head and body gets through the sands at high speeds the big bulbous beach ball with long feet the head that wobbles no head the waddles sorry or a cave dwelling fox that, has small horns, and a second set of eyes in the back of its head. Okay.

So, you got a fox. You got a beach ball man. You got a sand man. You got a donkey guy. Or you got a bigfoot. White bigfoot. White bigfoot, right. Ki-wa-kwa.

Is that the name? Ki-wa-kwa. Ki-wa-kwa. I think I'm most tempted by Sandman Okay looking in Sandman Thank you Alright Tom what are you thinking?

Can I hear I'm thinking the second one which is the one they think it's a joke Head of a donkey body of a deer I'm gonna go with that one Alright looking that in for Tom Now here's who wrote the answers A cave dwelling fox that walks upright with small horns, eyes on the back of the head. That was Dave Warnke.

That was me. That must be some relief to you, Tom. That is some relief to me. That was probably my second choice because it feels like something you'd see at night. You'd see like the eyes, you know, you can see eyes even at night. Yeah. Like two sets of eyes, you'd think you'd see that.

The beach ball guy the head that waddles that was the house that was really stupid but the alliteration was something big beach ball doesn't sound like a very scary like although i That sounds like a little grimace Yeah yeah And the waddles Then we had Dave went for the Sandman That was written by Tom Oh great work Tom And I'm glad

Because I was thinking that You might have gone off that Because this cryptid It's not in a forest It's found in the forest of May When you read the thing forest I was like oh for fuck's sake No my thought was well man i guess they're on the coast yeah this makes sense that is sand dunes but

you're right it is forest dwelling oh yeah the forest beach yeah i mean there's overlap to some degree i mean now i'm defending it as if it's real two minutes ago. The donkey, dear. That was also the house. Meaning the correct answer is the huge cannibalistic humanoid. Bigfoot with white fur known for its shrill shrieking cry. Yeah, God. That one was just so yeti. Down the lawn. Yeah.

Yes, it's like forest yeti. But sometimes the most correct things are the things that seem correct. Couldn't have said it better myself. That was beautiful. Thank you. Do you know Napoleon actually said that when he surrendered to the Belgians? So, a point there to Tom, a point to the house. Or in the new Tom system.

Yeah, not too bad. That is three points to Tom and a point to the house. Or in the new Tom system. Yeah, not too bad. That is three points to Tom and one point to the house. So, quick score update. After four rounds, we're past the halfway mark. We've got Tom on two points and Dave in the house out in front on three points. But in the Tom system, the house is languishing in last place on three points. Tom's moved into second place on four points but still out in front on seven points is Dave Warnke.

To be fair to the house, I feel like they are kind of disadvantaged in my system and I apologise. It feels like we might unify our belts here tonight if Dave wins both of the systems. Yeah. He'd be the undisputed champion of the world. All right, we're up to question number five this one comes from harry p little hampton and harry p no hang on he's harry p from little hampton i reckon anyway either way harry p thanks for the question which is what is the name of the German deathcore band that released their comeback album titled Das Album in 2021?

What is the name of the German deathcore band that released their comeback album titled Das Album in 2021? Just got to come up with the name of a German deathcore band. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the Kiwakwa. This is an article on New England folklore. According to Frank Speck's 1935 article, Penelope's Got Tales and Religious Beliefs in the Journal of American Folklore, the word Kiwakwa means going about in the woods. If you don't want to see one of those monsters stay out of the woods during the winter. Also known as the Chenu or the Kiwakwa, the Kiwakwa is a human being who has been transformed through dark magic into a cannibalistic

giant. Much like the Incredible Hulk, they get larger as they get angrier, and often tower above the Taurus tree. Unlike the Hulk, they are emaciated, have enormous fangs, and often have eaten their own lips in hunger. They are always hungry, and their scream will kill any human who hears it. Sometimes a dead shaman of great power may return from his grave as a chenu. Chenus usually appear in the winter.

Chenu, another word for kawakwa. The question is, of course, if anyone who hears it dies, how do we know it's a shrill scream? Oh, great question. It could just be like, ho, ho, ho, or la, la, la. If it's going to kill you, no one's going to repeat it. Or it's fake. Oh, okay.

I hadn't considered this. All right. Here's question number five. What is the name of the German deathcore band that released their comeback album entitled Das Album in 2021? Der Schlange? We Butter the Bread with Butter? Utsi Rathhammer?

Huge Unmitigated Disaster? Or Fungible Shower Token shower token what the hell how do you how do you spell the slunge uh s c h l a n g e i shouldn't say i've never i've never heard the name said out loud i've only read it slunge slunge and what's the full name of the slunge der slunge der slunge we butter the bread with butter. Utsi Rathhammer. Huge unmitigated disaster. Or fungible shower token.

Dave, I think we're back to you. No, we're back to Tom. Back to Tom. What's the unmitigated disaster one? Huge unmitigated disaster. Oh, we got that one. HUD for short, I suppose. HUD. Tom goes for HUD.

What do you think, Dave? Okay. Dush Lunge or We Butter the Bread with Butter. Mm-hmm. Utsi Rathammer, Huge Unmitigated Disaster, Fungible Shower Token. I mean, it's a comeback album. We've only been talking about fungible stuff for a short amount of time. And haven't we been talking about it

Yeah Do you know what it means it actually means Imagine if I People I don't think there's A concept people love explaining more than that one And I've actually got One for sale today It's a picture of a monkey

I mean it's sticking out to me because it's either A joke answer or a surreal answer Is we butter the bread with butter It's a picture of a monkey or whatever. I mean, it's sticking out to me because it's either a joke answer or it's a real answer. Is we butter the bread with butter. It's so good. You are German. Would you know how to say that in German? Oh, so it's a translation, is it? No, no.

Not necessarily. Deschland. What do you think that's? Yeah, deschland. That's the English translation of a German phrase. Deschland. So, you're going to go with the butter? Yeah, I think we're both going for the more out there English answers, but I'm going to go with the butter yeah i think we're both going for the more

out there english answers but i'm going to go with we butter the bread with butter okay well here's who wrote the answers fungible shower token that was the house the schlange that was tom and you asked to spell it that was very good it was the um it means snake oh it's schlange the schlange it's pronounced Schlanger. But that's fine. No, that's not stuffing it because you, like, if it was real, you might have made that mistake as well. That's right.

And also, Dislange does sound like a badass metal name. Yeah, that's not too bad. Yeah, I kind of like that a bit more, to be honest. The Schlanger. Uzi Rathhammer. That was Dave Warnicky. That was me. Yeah, we both went German sounding.

We did, yeah. We both went German sounding We did yeah We both went maybe Too German Huge unmitigated disaster Which Tom went for That was also the house Damn it Meaning the correct answer

Is we butter the bread With butter It had to be one of those two Yeah I think so So it's the house And Dave Taking points again

And Each time I'm going to remember How Tom's scoring system works no difference here I don't think oh yeah so it's one point each here because Dave got it correct and the house is disadvantaged

but which I'm fine with whatever for the listener there's a Matt's face has quite a like a frustrated if not a bit defensive look on it at the moment. And he shrugged in a kind of like sarcastic way. Yeah, whatever. So, it's like this is usually kind of body language that's associated with people that actually do care about it.

So, scores after five rounds. Tom's on two, but out in front, it dave in the house on four points a piece although in tom's system tom and the house are on four points but out in front it's dave on seven points no dave would get eight in my system he was on seven before wasn't he oh god thank you tom appreciate your honesty oh you're right you respect the system because Because I've needed more rows for this scoring system, my... Come on, Matt. My formula has fallen short. There's always an excuse for this guy.

I was reading about the formulas of adding one or three to a number every 10 minutes. God, how does he do it? Better fire up a macro for that one. All right, we're up to question number six. Comes from Claire from West Sacramento. Claire's question is, what happened in the US on Feb 10, 1998? What happened in the United States on February the 10th, 1998? While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about we butter the bread with butter.

Yeah, please. According to Harry, we butter the bread with butter, which is usually shortened to WBTBWB, are known for injecting humor and groove into what can be a brutal genre. Check out their ode to e-scooters, which is 20 kilometers per hour for proof. Thank you so much for that hot tip, Harry. I've looked up their discography. Here's a list of the singles they've released starting in 2012, going forward chronologically. USA, Pyro Man and Astronaut.

Alice Was Ick Will. Weltmeister. Ick Mac. Was Mitt Median. Bang Bang Bang. Berlin Berlin. Anarchy. Clicks.

Likes. Fame. Gale. Man's Not Hot brackets. Big Shaq cover. They did Man's Not Hot fantastic dray alf 20 kilometers per hour and nice with an exclamation mark instead of an eye i hadn't read those before any of them now i sure i kind of did assume they were going to be more interesting

there's some great ones there's some great ones there's some great ones there all right the answers are in so here's question number six what happened in the united states on february the 10th 1998 the chicago bulls brought a live bull to a match's halftime show it was startled by a fan's air horn and running off its mat caused damage to the court the bulls were fined 128 000 malcolm jempson took a patent out on his own invention of inflatable shoes. Lays released a new fat-free variety of chips that had an unintended laxative effect. Monica Sellers was attacked with a knife by a crazed fan during the women's grand final of the US Open. Or Fred Durst changed the name of his high school band Combo Wombo to Limp Bizkit and a legend was born.

Combo Wombo. The original Limp Bizkit name. Who's first? Is it Dave? Back to Dave. So, you got the Chicago Bulls with the real bull. You got inflatable shoes. You got laxative chips.

Monica Sellers being attacked. Or Fred Durst changing Combo Wombo to Limp Bizkit. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Some real 90s stuff going on there. Chicago Bulls, Monica Sellers What was the other one that made me think of the 90s? Limp Bizkit, yeah

But Lay's chips causing An unintended laxative effect I'm a big fan of Lay's chips I reckon they're one of the best original chips They know how to salt them up But did they make people shit themselves in the 90s? Are Lay's and Thin's the same? No, I think there's difference. I think Lays are saltier. I'm a Thins guy. Born into it. Thins family or Lays family? Adam just possibly for the quiz what is your basketball team?

No comment. Is he a Chicago Bulls fan jumping on it in the 90s? His name is Jack Jumpers. Is he a Chicago Bulls fan? Jumping on it in the 90s. Tasmanian Jackjumpers. So, we're with you, Dave. The inflatable shoes. Is it inflatable shoes? Inflatable shoes. Malcolm Jempson.

Am I crazy in thinking that 98 is late for inflatable shoes? Is that crazy? I mean, I don't think it's a good idea, but surely someone jumped on that. Some early Malcolm Jensen, 1998. Have you heard of Malcolm Jensen's inflatable shoes? No, I haven't. Okay. I haven't.

I mean, you've heard of the Chicago Bulls. Yes. You haven't heard of Malcolm Jensen's shoes. No. You've heard of Lay's Chips. Oh, yeah. I love them. You've heard of Monica Sellers.

I remember it. Have you heard of Fred Durst? Yes. But I haven't heard of Combo Wombo. I haven't heard of Combo W I remember it Have you heard of Fred Durst Yes Have you heard of Combo Wombo I haven't heard of Combo Wombo Okay

And that's my problem And it's 98 And I'm like Is that a bit late For Limp Bizkit Right I mean they were Quite big the next year

But maybe they Instantly took off Maybe I mean I'm holding them back Drop it I mean Even if it's fake

I think it would've It's a stupid name Yeah The name wasn't The thing holding them back was it with limp biscuit taking him to the top oh man this is so tricky and this and obviously i know monica's house was stabbed on a court but was that 98 it feels like maybe that was earlier than that um poor maybe i'm gonna go with inflatable shoes. Maybe I'm going to do it. Okay. I'm going to do it.

Locking in inflatable shoes for Dave. Malcolm Jepson. It's weird. Malcolm Jepson has inflatable shoes, whereas Michael Jackson has shoes that go backwards. Am I right? That is weird, isn't it? What are you thinking, Tom?

I'm thinking the... I i can reveal well i mean yeah the chicago bulls one seems like someone's trying to be 90s to me because 98 i think 90s bulls exactly late 90s yeah and oh and early 90s they were they won six championships a dominant franchise. That's it. And then what we've got late. Yeah, I agree with Dave's kind of focus on the two that he focused on. What was the last one? Sorry. Fred Durst. That's right.

Yeah, Combo Wombe. That's ridiculous. But like, hmm. I know, but it's so ridiculous that I considered it. Yeah, exactly. Combo Wombo. Yeah, when I was 12, I remember being at a party with other year six kids, maybe year five, to be honest, and we played Roland.

And we were all like moshing in the living room of this friend's house. And we thought we were some rockers. Like, I remember thinking, fuck, this is cool. I can't believe this guy's parents are letting us do this. Like, we're tearing shit up. Like, this is crazy. And I think- Yeah, what year would that have been?

I reckon that came- I reckon Chocolate Starfish, I think that came out in like 2000 or 2001. So, two years before that, that would be a quick- That would be quick to go from Combo Wombo to people in Sydney loving it. Do you remember if you were moshing in your friend's house to Limp Bizkit or Combo Wombo? I'm absolutely positive it wasn't Combo Wombo because that would have- And everyone said, you know, that song, I think maybe it was- Was it called Hot Dogs?

There was a song that they said the word fuck like 57 times and everyone knew how many times and we counted the fucks because it was so naughty to say fuck that many times we were like whoa these guys are rock i think he even says it in the lyrics he says yeah that's yeah exactly this is the 47 times in this fucked up realm yeah exactly and then there's like 10 after that so people probably didn't count the whole thing. They just counted after. What a cool guy. He's pretty cool. Very, very cool guy. I reckon I suppose I'm just going to go the other one.

I'm going to go Lays. Lays for Tom. Locked in. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. Fred Durst, Combo Wombo, Dylan Biscuit. That was the house. I really wanted it to be that one because it was a great reveal.

I got to tell you, that was first draft Combo Wombo. Just came up very quickly. I thought placeholder. I'll come back to that. Yeah. It wasn't the name. It was the year that broke off. If you'd said in 95 they changed the name from Combo Wombo, I would have said, all right.

100%. We know how long it takes to come up as a successful rock band. And it's more than 18 months. Monica Sell is being attacked by a crazed fan. That was Tom. I just looked it up. That happened in 93. Yeah.

So, but, you know. I mean, I just picked a thing that I knew happened. But then, you know what I was thinking? I was like, God, February. That's the Australian Open. Oh, yes. That's the US Open. God damn it.

Chicago. You know what I thought after that? This idiot guessed the sand thing. I'm still in for the shot. He doesn't pay attention to details. Exactly. The Chicago Bulls won. That was Dave Warnke.

You were so brutally right that I was just trying to be in the 90s. I mean, I did the same thing with Monica Sals. We both had sport. Yeah. Sport 90s. What happened Yeah Malcolm Jempson Taking out a paint

On his inflatable shoes That was the house Oh dead a dream Meaning the correct answer Was Lay's laxative chips So Yes yes yes A point for Tom

Point for the house Would you mind googling What year inflatable shoes Were painted in I'm sure it was before 98 I'm sure Is it a real thing I thought it was i thought i

was saying something really ridiculous i reckon that that resonated with me as being 90s because um i don't know if you had this phenom but like the flashing shoes oh yeah you know like sneakers that would flash i always wanted them but my parents never got me them but they were like a big fad and like inflatable shoes it feels like the kind of thing you'd patent having observed other silly shoe based and there was also inflatable furniture was big in the late 90s as well really yeah do you remember i remember my sister had an armchair that was like a you know a neon inflatable is that just for children was that in the pool no you could sit on it for a while i think it was like sort of a kitsch sort of thing. Wow, right. That like sort of...

If you were to guess, Dave, when the inflatable shoe... It's real? ...was patented... That feels very 1950s to me. Wow. 1976. Oh, okay. It is pretty modern.

Yeah. And it had the applications being updated as recent as 94, but is now expired. So, you could just- Oh, my God. We could all go out there and make big money inflating shoes. You're wrong. What would the purpose be exactly? I don't know.

I mean, like, there could be like a flotation device. If you start drowning, your feet float to the surface. That seems bad. And then your hands down. But then you also have an inflatable neck brace. Oh, other than perfect yeah um so with one round to go it's tightened right up here tom's on three points dave's on four points but now and front on five points it's the the house. What? What? We don't like this. Whoa.

We do not like this. In Tom's new system, Tom and the house are on five. Dave's out in front on eight points. It's a beautiful system. I keep saying it. Wow. But what you got to know is going into the final round, this one's worth triple points. So it is truly still anyone's game.

And so, we've got to check in with Tom before we go into the round. Are you still happy, Tom? If someone picks your answer in the final round, you get triple points, which is nine? That's correct. Incredible. So, this is where our systems line up. Final round, triple points. All right.

In your round, how far behind Dave am I? You're one point behind Dave in mine, but you're two points behind the house. Oh, right. So, if I get three points for successfully guessing someone's or getting it right. So, yeah, it's all on the table here. This is great. Yeah, yeah. So, here's the final question.

It comes from Amy from Texas. And we always finish with a movie synopsis. So, this will be your longest answer, Tom. Probably, you know, about a paragraph. The question is, what is the synopsis of the 1973 film, Fraser the Sensuous Lion? What is the synopsis of the 1973 film, Fraser the Sensuous Lion? I'm saying sensuous.

At first, I almost said sensuous, which was, I think, a bit much, to be honest. While they're writing their answers, here's some more info about the Lay's laxative chips. The brand was actually called Lay's Wow. There was also Doritos Wow and a few others. According to Jake Rosson, writing for Mental Floss, When Procter & Gamble began market testing a fat-free version of their popular Pringles snack in late 1996,

Pringles brand manager Casey Keller called their attempt to revolutionize the food industry with the calorie conscious chips quote the number one unmet consumer need of the moment the chip which had zero grams of fat and only half the calories of conventional Pringles was made possible by Procter & Gamble's all extra a synthetic fat molecule marketed under the brand named Oleon because it was too large to be absorbed by the intestine It passed through the digestive tract a little too quickly as it turned out alestra which was found in pringles and later in frito-lay products like ruffles and doritos was burdened by a nagging problem the miraculous fat molecule gave a percentage of consumers stomach cramps loose bowel movements

and diarrhea it also led to the coining of phrases not normally associated with snack foods like fecal urgency and anal leakage. Beautiful name for a boy or girl. Procter & Gamble had high hopes for Allestra, projecting $1 billion in sales in 2000, and eventually an entire line of Allestra-infused goods like salad dressings and desserts. But two years after its explosively profitable debut, sales were just half that and only a few other companies like Utz and Herz used Olestra in their products. Even after the FDA removed the label warning requirement in 2003, consumers weren't finding Runny Stool all that appetising. Frito-Lay renamed their Wow Chips to Ruffles Light and Doritos Light in 2004. In 2009 procter and gamble made alestra an additive in eco-friendly paints and lubricants some foods are still made with alestra though

it's no longer the industry disruptor the company had hoped for that's so funny that they thought it was going to revolutionize food and they've ended up being like what else can we use it for paints and lubricants that's how you know it's good quality cuisine all right the answers are in here is the final question everything's up for grabs right now what is the synopsis of the 1973 film fraser the sensuous lion this film tells the story of fraser a soldier in the scottish army in the early 11th century with a lustrous mane of red hair equally renowned for his skill on the battlefield and in the bedroom afterth century with a lustrous mane of red hair equally renowned for his skill on the battlefield and in the bedroom after heroically saving duncan the king of scotland during the siege of durham fraser is deemed fraser the lion now immortalized as the lion rampant on

the royal banner of scotland that's option one beautiful option two fraser is a baby lion that escapes a cruel New Jersey circus and is taken in by a family who hide him in their suburban home for three years. As Fraser grows, the family have to grapple with the fact they aren't equipped to raise him. That's option two. Option three, loosely based on a true story, zoologist Marvin Feldman travels to a California safari to study a lion who fathered a record number of cubs.

To Marvin's astonishment, Fraser can speak and tells him he is being hunted by a billionaire known only as The Man, who wants to kill him to steal his sexual prowess. Can Marvin find a way to stop The Man and save Fraser's life? Wow. Fraser is an orphan lion who is taken in by Arizonian farmers Kiefer and Fran. When Fraser comes of age, he seeks a reunion with his birth

parents. Fran informs him that his father has died, but she suspects Fraser's mother was once held captive at a California zoo. Fraser trains for life outside the farm with his friends Boat and the Pig and Luther the Sheep before setting off to find his mum in LA. Fraser is not ready for what he finds. Or in an ahead-of-its-time existential drama, Fraser the lion and his best friend Niles the crane live a life of luxury in a Seattle zoo. When a new lioness moves into his enclosure, Fraser impresses her with his ability to cook the perfect scrambled eggs.

All is well until Niles notices one of his mate's eggs is missing. Wow. So you've got those five options. Am I first? No, well, this time, I mean, what do you think? You've come up with, because this is number seven. This is the only odd, not the only odd number question. What do you mean?

What do I reckon? Isn't this the 50th episode? Well, normally, people aren't so judgmental on everything. So, I just, I've got a bit gun shy. Normally, I would say something like who wants to go first or yeah right or i'll say dave you're leading should you go first something like that that sounds appropriate all right dave you're leading do you want to go first yes we have a just a quick summary don't read it all again but just like dot point of each one scottish army guy

yep uh the lion who escapes the new jersey circus okay Okay. Ends up with a suburban family. Got the zoologist Marvin Feldman who finds this lion who's been hunted by a billionaire trying to take his sexual prowess. You got the orphan lion who's taken in by Arizonian farmers who befriends a pig and a sheep before setting off to Los Angeles to find his mum.

Or you've got the... Frasier and Niles, the crane, living in Seattle Zoo and the... Something about eggs. Yeah, something about the tossed salad and scrambled eggs. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow wow um okay this is tricky and the movie title one more time it's just called fraser fraser the sensuous lion the sensuous lion i'm gonna go with it is outlandish they all are to be honest i don't think I'd watch any of these movies. But Frasier, the sensuous lion, I think is being hunted by the man. Okay.

Well, yeah, it's funny as well because, like, some of these, none of them say they're cartoons, but some of them have to be cartoons, right? Yeah. I don't even, I don't know the real one if it's a cartoon or I don't know anything about it. I haven't seen the preview. The second last one one it's like um it wants to meet it's it's it's it's real birth parents but is it having conversations with the family yes we yeah we don't it doesn't say the way but is that a cartoon or is it yeah you know

like um we're hearing the thought milo and otis style or they put peanut butter on its lips and yeah when was uh yeah when was the era of peanut butter talking animals? Probably back in the 70s. Mr. Ed. The last one about, which sounds quite oddly similar to the TV show Frasier. Yeah. But this actually came out like 20 years prior, so. Very influential.

Kelsey Grammar has questions to answer, if that's correct. Or it's not the correct answer. Oh, okay. Someone being funny. I hadn't considered that. Funny on this show? I don't think so. That's not what we're about here.

This is just facts. So, you locked in, Dave? Yeah, I've locked in the one where he's being hunted by the man. All right. Well, this is a shame because that's what I was going to say as well. But I think from a gameplay perspective, or just from a strategy perspective, I think I'd be crazy to say the same thing, right?

Because I need to catch up. Because you were saying before that the advantage is to go second, but in this case, it would have been advantageous to go first because you might have made Dave feel, you know, you could have shamed him out of picking the same as you. I think last time I was on this show, I was shamed because I picked another one just because I was like, oh, make it interesting.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, you're right. And I feel like I'm currently being punished for allowing the kind of like the randomness of Dave going first because it benefited me in my mind. But no, it didn't. It ended up benefiting Dave. This is like a Greek tragedy or something.

My own hubris. I've been trying to stick to logical rules that are fair the whole time. And that's the first time I compromised on that. And look where it's got me. Your wax wings and the sun and all that. I'm sorry. Can I get a brief thing of the first? I think the first two I didn't.

Scottish Soldier. Yeah, don't think that. Baby Lion Escaping the Jersey Zoo. I think we're going to have to say that one. Jersey Circus, sorry. We're going to have to say that one. All right, locking that in. And Dave, you are definitely locked in.

You don't want to change? I'm not sure. To make way for Tom? Why would he change after this? I'm trying to cry. Well, I'm just saying if Dave will. No. You can only ask the question, Tom.

Normally, of course, I would. But at the end of round one, Tom definitely made it clear that he thinks it's crazy to allow the contestants to change. I'm sorry he did say that. So, to respect Tom Cashman, I'm going to stick with my answer, please. All right. So, to respect Tom Cashman, I'm going to stick with my answer, please. All right. So, Tom's locked in the New Jersey circus and Dave has locked in loosely based on a true story about the talking lion. I can't even remember you saying the words loosely based on a true story.

So, there you go. So, here's who wrote the answers uh the one about niles the crane and fraser the lion that was amy aka the house that's a bit of fun just a bit of fun is that illegal have a bit of fun here is that gonna get me killed uh the orphan lion who was taken in by farmers in ari Kiefer and Fran. That was Tom. I thought that was great stuff, Tom Cashman. Dave did not even seem to consider it for a moment. Bit long.

Bit long. Mine was a bit long. No, I considered. I definitely considered. I put that above a few. I probably would have, you know, I narrowed it down to three, put that there. Maybe even two.

Bronze. Oh, it's on the podium. I never said my workings out because I didn't want to influence. Yes, of course. But, I mean, some great name work there from Tom. We had Luther, the sheep, Bowdoin, the pig, Kiefer and Fran. Is this like a Matt Groening style thing where you're just using your family members' names? A few of them, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Then we've got the Scottishish army one which i thought was beautifully written and a nice slightly out of the box thinking from amy aka the house i thought that was good too that's probably that sounded like the best movie to watch which one was that sorry it was the only one that didn't have an actual line in it it was about the scottish oh yeah with a big red mane here. Yeah, that was scary. That was a weird one to start with. I'm like, what's going on here? Well, did Scotland really have a king called Duncan as well? If that's true.

Oh, in Macbeth. He's the king's called Duncan. I'd like to have a beer with Duncan as well. When I think of Duncan, I think of... So, hang on. You're in the final of a game and it's all going down to the wire. Yeah. And you're listening to fake synopses that it's either-

And you've got to decide and decipher whether it's been written as a fake one or it's the real one. And you're just thinking when you hear the character's name, it's like, I'd love to have a beer with that guy. You're not a focused administrator. It's a beautiful mind. So So that means one of you is correct Oh wow So we've got the loosely based on a true story Zoologist Marvin Feldman

And we've got Fraser the Baby Lion Escaping the cruel New Jersey circus Tom went with that one Which was written by Dave And Dave went for the correct answer. The perfect situation. Oh, perfect, is it? I actually find it to be somewhat imperfect.

I feel like it could be improved upon quite a lot, actually. Maybe I would actually say the opposite of that happening would have been great. So that means, I think in Tom's system Dave gets 12 points A million points It's the superior system In my opinion Is that

Yeah is that right And in my system He gets only A mere 6 points A mere 6 I'll tabulate the scores Okay The maximum amount of points

Possible Just quickly I really couldn't find much information about this film online. I did find one review which gave it two out of ten, writing, I was in this lousy movie. This is just an online review. Wow. Written by Robert Mudry, saying, I was an extra in the opening scene. I walked across the screen right in front of the camera with a girlfriend. That's the full

two-star review. Two-star and then one-star because it's out of ten. One-star out of five and they were in it. They were in it. Wow. Yeah. Alright. Now, Tom, before we get to the scores, where can people find you?

You're filming a special coming up soon. Do you know where that's going to land? That's going to be at the Sydney Comedy Store. Before then, I'm planning on going down to a local cemetery and screaming at the stars about my terrible performance on this podcast. But after that, after I recover emotionally, which will probably not happen in the next week,

I am doing shows in Newcastle on a Friday and Saturday and then a show in – or two shows in Sydney and filming those on the Sunday. Awesome. So, and people can find it probably at tomcashman.com, something like that. I don't have a website. I feel – I don't have a website, but if they Googled that,

I feel like the, you know the the referable social media links would likely appear google will make its own website for you yeah fam i just looked up tom cashman and it's it's all you you must be the biggest tom cashman out there oh i don't know i think that's because you're in straight in australia there's an irish hurler who really is actually like in the hall of fame of hurling and like it's very good damn you got to get in the comedy hall of fame now otherwise you'll never live that down you know what's really frustrating not to get too stuck in the weeds of googling my name but if you google my name i don't know what it does on you but it comes up with a wiki page where it says you know my about me but it conflates it somewhat

in the google preview bit with the ir Irish hurler and it says my height is 5 foot 7 or something. Does it do that to you? Yes, it does. 5 foot 8. Yeah, what the fuck? We've got to set the record straight. How tall are you? I'm 6 foot 1. But it does also say

that you are a two-time All Island title winner. Is that also true? No! You're six foot one. Oh, okay. But you have won four cork titles.

No, I haven't. This is the confession I'm talking about. Dave, people can find you in Brisbane this week. I'd love it. Yeah, you can see me at the Good Chat Comedy Club

this Saturday and Sunday with you, Matt Stewart. We're doing this show live on the Saturday afternoon, then a stand-up show, a split bill, half hour each, trying out some new stuff on Saturday night. And then Sunday afternoon, we're doing Book Cheat, my show, with you as a guest. And then we're doing some more stand-up that evening. And the Book Cheat podcast is back. I was on an episode just a few days ago.

That's right. We are back. I've been reading up a storm. Oh, so good. And if you Google my name, I don't know how high it says I am, but I'd love it. If it said five foot eight, I would kill for that. I'd kill for that name. I'm sorry.

Now, I'm sorry for making it out like that was the worst insult anyone could ever say. That's the shortest height you can be. It's just funny to have the wrong anyway. Yeah, I know. It is very funny. It's very funny. Now, I've got so, I know. It is very funny. It's very funny. Now, I've got so confused with the scoring this week, but I'm going to give them as I've got them. And I'm sure listeners will correct me if I'm wrong. But we've got the

two different scoring systems. And here are the scores. In the traditional system, in third place on three points, it's Tom Cashman. In second place on five points it's the house but out in front way out on double digits on 10 points it's dave warner key wow thank you now in the tom cashman system oh so this surely is where i come back in equal second place on five points it's tom and the house on five points. It's Tom and the house. But our front on 20 points is Dave Warnke. I love the system, Matt. I can only imagine

when we're doing this show in Brisbane, you will be doing the Tom Cashman system because it's obviously superior. Yeah, and you have unified the belts. Both divisions.

That was an agreement. Bye, Matt. We'll keep listening to the Brisbane episode. Yeah. Thanks so much for joining us, Tom to have you on hopefully you'll come back and um you know try and get your reputation back where it belongs um well i simply have to now i can't i can't i can't have this with you this is just the beginning but thanks for having me thanks so much for being here you too dave really appreciate it thanks so much everyone see you in brisbane uh give us a five-star review if you want uh that's

you tom but also the listeners um tell people who might enjoy it even and thanks for tuning in to who knew with matt stewart now that you know what i've been matt show it goodbye If Dave picks yours, you get a point. If you get the right one, you get a point. Only one point for getting yours picked. I just think, and I'm fine with playing however you play this as your podcast, but I just want to say that I think correctly guessing the right one is not as impressive as coming up with one that someone else has guessed. It's fooling.

Yeah, fooling takes more skill. That has come up twice in two weeks now. Came up last... Andy Matthews said the same thing last week after he'd got the first three right. And he's like, I gotta tell you, it's an empty point getting the right one. Doesn't feel anywhere near as good as fooling someone. Because it's more difficult to do. Which is my point.

Okay. Well, take that on to do, which is my point. Okay. Well, take that on board. This is a growing movement. I'm attacking the administrator. I'm sorry. The administrator. And I keep calling the administrator. I should give her a loftier title.

No, I've got the lofty title I've gone with is the house. So the administrator probably is even better than that, really. Capital T, capital A. Are you a UFC fan, Tom? What do you reckon? Hang on, I've got to go get something. Sorry. Get a delivery.

Oh, delivery. Oh, good. Oh, delivery. Oh, good. Yeah, I had a bet about the footy and someone was delivering. That was about a slab of beer. And it was just, but I missed them. The delivery.

Oh, that was just the beer and then you missed it. Yeah, I missed the message was, and I'm like, I just assumed I'd leave it it at the front but they're not allowed to do that with alcohol of course yeah they need to see that id the beers are five minutes away Dance school days. Rodeo Romeo. Head to toe. The beers are five minutes away. Hell yeah, they're coming back. They're coming back. That's awesome. I'm sure at great expense. What was the bet?

Did you say? Whoever finished higher on the ladder, the Saints or the Bombers. Oh, right at the end of the season. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, so a long-term bet. Nice.

Congrats. Oh, thanks so much. And how close was it? It could have gone either way until last week, I think. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. I think it's also kind of fine and fun when competitions aren't close throughout. Yeah, I respect people that win gracefully.

Do you know what I mean? And lose gracefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bigger respect. Yep. Because how do they have respect for themselves? You know what I mean? No.

I don't know what you mean. Sorry, do you mind if I get this beer? Oh, sure. Not at all. I said, do you mind if I get this beer? Oh, sure. No, no, no. I said, do you mind if I get this beer? Of course. Hugely. Do you mind if I take this call?

Yeah. I wonder how much beer it is. Are you picturing a full slab? It's got to be a slab. For such a long-term bet. Yeah. It's one beer. If it's one beer and he's acting like this, this is what a

cheapskate. Both of them. I saw him. He just ran out. He just ran out the door for one beer. It's all his cans too. Are you an AFL guy? Nah, I'm not. I'm not. Are you? Are you? No. Not really. I mean, I've been to a few games. I think it's fun. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I feel the same way. It's fun. It's fun when

people are into it. You know, something to do, but... Yeah, it makes me jealous that I don't have a team, to be honest. Do you follow any other sports closely? Not really. I mean, I was saying this recently. I feel like the Matildas recently and the Socceroos when they've been in the World Cup

is the most I've cared about sport, I think. Like having a team, like, supporting... Because I suppose by living in a country, you naturally get appointed Australia as your team. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you wake up, that's it. But, yeah, I think... And the World Cup is just so, like...

It's, like, the biggest thing in the world. So, seeing Australia in that has been fun. But, yeah, I didn't have, like... I think to fully have a team, your parents need to get you into it as a child which just didn't happen like i've tried to get into like i'm a basketball fan i like watching basketball and i've tried to support a few teams but like at the end of the day i don't really care you know is this about lace chips yeah yeah uh so can i say your there's

been quite a lot of evidence oh yeah blame me mate this is a poorly administrated contest you're not only does your scoring system like the macro thing not make sense but the micro the actual day-to-day administration is being handled poorly i've definitely i've missed around here somewhere or something's happened this will be fire on the macros get to the back end 10v lookups happening at once the teasing's actually not funny anymore

because Matt seems stressed I'm only I'm not I'm not stressed for me I'm just stressed for I know you're you like everything

ship shape so I just feel I feel a deep shame that things have um come undone in front of you i've got three rounds i'm just gonna have to go back to the start and do the score again because this integrity is what this is all about yep what have you got there like an excel spreadsheet with yeah a row for each round and then like a sum formula at the bottom and you're just manually inputting each.

Should be pretty foolproof. It's pretty. Like, I can't think what's going wrong. Question is, what is the synopsis of the 1973... Isn't that the year that the inflatable shoe was invented? Like salad dressings and deserts wow apparently it was it was big on the late night talk shows making jokes about the how the chips crowded bathroom emergencies procter and gamble largely dismissed the claims

comparing the potential gastrointestinal distress of all astra to eating beans or broccoli but broccoli had never been demonstrated to cause an orange yellow liquid to seep out of one's rear end the fda and procter and gamble were inundated with 16 700 complaints a meeting of washington's center for science in the public interest which criticized procter and gamble for hyping allstra, featured video testimony of people afflicted by the molecule. One claimed the cramps of snacking were comparable to the early stages of labor. Other experiences with Olystra were said to include the passing of orange-yellow globules of oil, as well as difficulty wiping. Oh, man, I'm cutting.

This is fucking gross. Difficulty wiping. Oh, man, I'm cutting. This is fucking gross. Difficulty wiping. Oh, my God. Sorry. As I'm writing my answer, I'm sort of zoning in and out on what you're saying. And then I just hear difficulty wiping. I'm like, I'm giving them time to write. I had a similar experience.

Oh, my God. I'm not leaving this in. People, there'll be people, you know, families huddled around the dinner table listening and they don't need to hear about yellow orange globules. As fun as it is to say. I reckon that song, whatever that is, like maybe the American Price is Right. Just must run through my head all the time. And in quiet times, it comes back.

You can hear it. Yeah. Twice it comes back. You can hear it. Yeah. For the most part, I like the movie titles. It could be a vague, you know. So, this one is quite specific, you know. It's got their name.

It's got that they're a lion. Yeah. There's one that doesn't have a lion. That'd be pretty great. Got a gig at a Christian school tonight. Oh. Says don't do any jokes about the church. Okay, great.

What have you got left? What have you got left? Congratulations, Dave. Well played. My lord. Good fun. It is good fun. What a game. What a game.

What a pod.