Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 53 - Tommy Dassalo and Karl Chandler (the Little Dum Dum Club)

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Tommy Dassalo and Karl Chandler from the Little Dum Dum Club!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Daves' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write their own answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our guests this week are hosts of the Little Dumb Dumb Club podcast. It's Carl Chandler and Tommy Dasolo. G'day. We're recording. Okay, you actually didn't tell us this was starting.

No, that was just a practice run through. What kind of gotcha journalism bullshit is this? We were about to divulge some state secrets. I hadn't even put my pants on yet. I thought that was your process. That's my content. Dumb Dumb Club, that's like, is that maybe

the longest running Australian comedy podcast? I think Tofop. Is it though? I don't know if it is. I think Tofop might have been before us. Is it? Yeah. Because that's how we started the show. We said, let's rip off Tofop if it is. I think Tofop might have been before us. Is it? Yeah. Because that's how we started the show. We said, let's rip off Tofop. Yeah, yeah. Let's do open mic Tofop.

No, but I had a distinct memory of Will and Aniston doing one of our, maybe our first ever live show and getting on and sort of really not knowing how podcasting works. Now, does that ring a bell for you? Because I remember us doing a live show and him getting on there and instead of spinning shit like everyone does now, he got on there and sort of started doing stand-up and we're like, why is this guy doing this?

Yeah, that does ring a bell now that you say it. But, I mean, he could still have been doing his own show. You know, he could have still have started Tofop. I'm just saying it felt like he was trying way too hard to realize what he was doing you know what i mean yep he might have thought he was doing the gala all right we did have a lot of people there was a lot it was a big set yeah it was very like flashy opening there was double figure audience members there so you're right exactly we had we had confetti cannons up our ass it was was pretty cool. Yep. So this is how the show works. I know your show is a chat.

This one's very structured. Okay. So it's almost like I've taken all the fun out of it. Right. Almost. Almost. I'll leave it. But then you put two little drops of fun in.

That's right. For this episode. That's your job. Your job is to bring the fun. So the way it works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer answer i then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct first question comes from listener oh oh there's a list of questions yeah they've been listening to this show so far this episode so far

and they've just sent in a question right now why did you put those two on this is it all comes in life yeah here we go i think we're about to get asked what's the weirdest place we've had sex? First question is from Will Anderson. Yeah, why do you think I didn't know what podcasting was? I was just trying to make your shit show better. Yeah, where do you get off? That's my question.

So Hannah Hicks from Boyne Island's question is, what is a gormandizer? A gormandizer? Where's she from again? Boyne Island. Boyne, B-O-I-N? B-O-Y-N-E-I-S-L-A-N-D. Yeah, I know how island is. Well, I thought you might have thought it was on Ireland, you know.

Oh, there's a new island. There's a new island now. Right, okay. Yeah, well, I would like to know. How often does this happen that a question gets asked back to the person who asked the question? I don't think this has happened before. This is unprecedented.

It's my answer. Can I just make up a new spelling of boing? Boing is fun to say. Sorry, what was the question? I forget the question. What is a gormandizer? Gormandizer. Gormandizer.

Gormandizer. While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round.

Seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house always wins, though. If you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is nearly never the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes hang on but this is not do go on how's that work this is on the do go on podcast network oh have you ever gotten a question from someone that's not on patreon and you were like god that's such a good question i'm'm going to have to let this one through.

I then sent them $10 so they could sign up and be officially a member. Yeah, no, someone did suggest a good question via a five-star review once. Okay. I'm like, that's as good as... Yeah, that's in some ways, that's better than money. How much money is a five-star review worth?

Good question. Yeah, I don't know what the algorithm would say. Very weirdly, I was reading Google reviews today, so my little comedy club, basement comedy club, and people, yeah, it blows my mind that anyone can be bothered putting a review up. But, yeah, there was a review today that I read that was just like, yeah, people were lying to me at the door and, you know,

the drinks were too much and this, and it was like, it literally like gave this really poor review and didn't mention the comedy once. Like you can't review a comedy club and not review the comedy. Yeah. That's weird. I think that's weird. I think that probably suggests that the comedy went all right

and they were like, otherwise they would have laid into that. Nothing to comment on. However, the drinks, the service. And they were lying to them at the door. Yeah, that was also huge. I don't know either. Well, maybe that's it. What they saw, they didn't perceive to be comedy

and they're like, this guy told me a fib at the door. He said it was a comedy club. It seemed to be some kind of poetry night or something. Yeah. I don't know. I'd love to know. Can you do that? You can reply. You can do that thing. Can you do that? You can reply.

You can do that thing. I love seeing that when someone's teed off at a restaurant and then there'll be a reply from the restaurant going, I remember you. Yeah. I did reply. My reply was, didn't mention the comedy once. My review, your review, none out of five.

Fuck yeah, that's great. They won't be coming back to review my shit stuff anytime soon. Yeah, get them. All right, the answers are in for question number one, which is, what is a Gorman Dizer? Here are your options. It's the name of the huge Gorman factory outlet in Brunswick. Someone who eats gluttonously or ravenously.

Someone whose parents are German and Norman. A medieval tool used for drilling holes into the earth. Or a kitchen tool to chop up food um are we allowed to choose our own options that we wrote that we know to be wrong no you can't oh you can't do that you can't do that no you're not allowed to do that seems like a serious flaw in the show i think that would make the show a lot better i don't know not to tell you how to suck eggs but i think if someone wants to do that, you should let them. I know this has come up, I think this is the second week in a row,

or Tom Cashman was also, he didn't enjoy that. Annoyed that he couldn't pick his own wrong answer. Yeah. Yeah. It seems, yeah. I mean, if you want to take this show to the next level, I mean, there's two successful guests in a row that have suggested that option.

I think that's a bit of a trend. Yes. Okay. If someone does next week as well. Please tell me who's on next week and I'll tell them to do it. I'm going to say, was it medieval torture? Medieval tool for drilling holes. A tool for drilling holes.

Okay. Damn, I was more into it when I thought it was torture. Can I do the holes? Can I pick the holes? You can pick the holes. Even though I was more into it when I thought it was torture. Can I do the holes? Can I pick the holes? You can pick the holes. Even though I definitely suggested it. I made that up. Let's see if I'm, prove me wrong.

Let's see if you allow this. Well, I wonder. The medieval, yeah, I want to pick that too. Can we both pick the same one? Sure can. Oh. You shouldn't allow that. Now there's two things you should improve this show, right?

Don't allow both. Tommy, can we make a pact? Can we choose the same answer every question? Oh, okay. Yeah. Can we on purpose rig this game? Well, you can, but some of you might not have heard while you're writing your answers,

which is a bit of a flaw in this show as well. Three flaws inside five minutes. While you're writing your answers. What is this, the fucking Empire State Building? How a flaw in this show as well. Three flaws inside five minutes. While you're writing your answers. What is this? The fucking Empire State Building. How many flaws in this thing? This would be driving me insane if I was listening to it. Can you imagine tuning into The Price is Right and the contestant just being like,

why does the game work like this? It makes no sense. What about, instead of higher and lower, can you just yell out the same? So, yeah, while you're writing your answers, I'll explain the scoring, but I'm also playing. So two of the fake answers. You're playing? Yeah. But you know the answers.

If you guess my fake answers, I get a point. So if you both pick the same one each time, which is mine, I'd flog you. Oh, I like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. I mean, that's what you want. Like, oh, it's the AFL grand final. Carlton versus Collingwood.

Who won? The umpire. Ripper. All the kids are dressed in their whites. Oh, they'll be happy tonight. I mean, they're on the field. They should get involved. They could get in the mix.

How many episodes have you won out of, what's this, 52, 53? This is 53rd. I think I've won maybe eight or 10. Oh. That's not too bad. Yeah, I try and keep it lowish. Yeah. Oh, you're tanking episodes, are you?

It's good for morale. I mean, yeah, I could definitely win more probably if I – I'm trying to make it more of a fun show, and I also feel a bit uncomfortable about going, hey, do you want to come lose to me on my podcast? Yeah, you feel uncomfortable about it, but it is something that is entirely within your control. Yes.

Also, you feel a bit weird about winning. Is there some episodes where you go, fuck these guests, I'm winning this one? This could be the week. I reckon you're going to win this one, by the way. Well, let's go through the answers. The Gorman factory outlet in Brunswick, that was Tommy Dasolo. Someone whose parents are German andunswick that was Tommy Dasolo someone whose parents

are German and Norman that was the house which I quickly wrote as I changed my answer from another Gorman factory oh okay right yeah

I should get bonus points for having the same line of thought as the host I think okay just in my humble opinion that's what I think should happen

yeah it's fine man okay occasionally people do ask for pity points sometimes. I didn't know there was different flavoured points I could be requesting, but that'll be on my agenda from now on. But as long as the other contestant agrees, that's okay. Well, I think there's a lot of moving sand on this podcast.

I don't reckon anyone has to agree to give me a point. I reckon I can just make a new rule. Oh, is there a prize, by the way, before I decide how seriously I should take this? No, just the glory. Okay. Classic podcast prizes. We know there's not too good of a prize

because Matt's only won eight of these shows. We should be playing for a home viewer, for a Patreon listener. That's not a bad idea. They get like a- How about this? I'll play for you, Tommy, and you can play for me.

Okay. All right, great. It's a kitchen tool to chop up food. That was Carl, a professional writer. I'm giving you points for that one. I'm the schoolkeeper now. I've just decided. I did.

As I was writing, I'm like, there's too much going on, and I can't. And I'm like, chop up food. Like, oh, this is not as eloquent as the others. Wow, I thought Gorman was pretty lame. Oh, my God. Medieval tool used for drilling holes. That was the house, which is me, meaning two points for me there. And the correct answer was someone who eats gluttonously or ravenously.

Ah, okay. So two points for the house. No points for the guests. No, Tommy got a point for some reason. Oh, Tommy did get a- I'm on one. Yeah. All right. Question two comes from Joff from some reason. Oh, Tommy did get a... I'm on one. Yeah. All right.

Question two comes from Joff from Colac. You guys might know Joff. He's from LOL Radio. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He came to maybe all three of our Coastal Million International Podcast Festivals. Oh, yes. What a man.

Anyway, I love this question from Joff. Okay. I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do with it. What is track three on Weird Al Yankovic's 1986 album, Poker Party? So give me a song name and the song it's parodying. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, nice. Okay. 1986. 86, that's right. I was slightly nervous one of you would be like, oh, track three. Obviously that's, you know, but no. It's not outside the realm of possibility. Yeah.

I think if it had have been running with scissors, I might have been able to lock that down. God damn, 1986. Okay. Just quickly. Yeah. Can I use Google not to look up what it actually is? I think so.

But to look up songs that came out in 1986. I think anyone can do whatever they want. I mean, I've got my phone facing me. I could be Googling it right now. You guys don't know. Okay. I owned a Weird Al Yankovic album and I'm desperately, what's the name of it?

Oh, Polka Party. Polka Party, yeah. Oh, yeah. So what this is going to be is they're all coverts, aren't they? Because some of them usually- No, it's got his originals. No, but that's what I'm saying. I reckon there'd be no originals on this one, would there?

There were some originals. It looks like he calls them style parodies. Right. This is like a talking head style parody. But this is definitely a parody one. This is a parody one, yeah. Okay, all right. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Gormandizers.

According to Miriam Webster, Gormandizers entered English in the mid-1500s as a modification of Gormand, a term borrowed from the French that served as a synonym for glutton. The meanings of both gourmand and gourmandise were clearly disparaging until the 19th century when gourmet came into use to refer to a connoisseur of food and drink. Since then, the meaning of gourmand has softened so that it now simply suggests someone who likes good food in large quantities. Gourmandise still carries negative connotations of gluttony, but it can also imply that a big eater has a discriminating palate as well as a generous appetite.

Well, that's good to know. And by that, I mean the opposite. I really am gaining a newfound respect for Weird Al. It's hard to even come up with a title, honestly. All right. I'm just remembering kitchen tool from the round before and I'm feeling way less self-conscious. Chop up food.

Funny food. Funny night. Okay. I can't wait to forget that I've done this in a couple of years' time, Matt, and go to message you about something and just find all these, like, answers to questions that I've sent you and been like, what the hell is all this about? How come Matt's not replying to any of these funny,

esoteric things I've sent him? I'll come back and just be like, so are you all right, mate? Sounds like they've lost their mind. That's good. Are the answers locked in? Are they all locked in, Matt? Tommy's is in. You're locked yours in?

Unfortunately, yes. Hang on, before I lock mine in, how do you spell chop up again? We've talked to Widal before on our podcast. Do you know that, Matt? No, we had him as a guest yeah via via satellite, via phone link back in the old days you've had some amazing guests

it was only over the phone so it was like I think it was really less like talking to him for 20 minutes and then us talking about talking to him it was when we worked for a radio like we did our show as part of like a radio station their digital arm and they like got him on our show as promo. I guess he had an album coming out. Yeah.

Or a tour. Tour, I think. Tour or something. Yeah. So it was very like him getting on the phone and being like, who's this? Yeah. But it would have been him sitting there doing a day of phone interviews. I think it was a year into our podcast and Daslow opened with the biggest guest we've

ever had. He said, how many Hawaiian shirts do you own? That was the first question. That's a good question. It's not a bad question now that I think about it. It's actually a terrible question. Now that I've come back around. It's actually no good.

I go through waves where sometimes I'm ashamed and then get me on the right day. I'm like, that's actually, he probably wouldn't have heard that one before. You got to give me that. I think it's funny to talk about, but at the time I was like, what's he going to say, three? Where's this going? That episode, that would still be up there. It's still up there.

It's still up there, yeah. Maybe I should give it a re-listen. Yeah. Maybe we should get him back on the blower to find out, get the updates there, if he's got less or more shirts now. Well, if you thought that question was bad, wait until you hear a certain answer that's about to come down the pipe. I love it if we talk to Weird Al and he's like,

how many Hawaiian shirts do you own now? I own a lot of them and I use them to chop up food. So the answers are in. Here's question two. What is track three on Weird Al Yankovic's 1986 album, Poker Party? Addicted to Spuds, a parody of Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love. Okay.

Car Man, Mechanic Man, a parody of Karma Chameleon by Culture Club. Jesus Christ. Okay. I can't wait to find out who's responsible for that one. Take My Bread Away, a parody of Berlin's Take My Breath Away. Okay. Yep. Mama Don't Preach, a parody of Madonna's Papa Don't Preach.

Oh, my God. That's good. That's really funny. I like that one. I think I smelled that slow. Weirdly, there's been a lot of food ones already. Or I've Got a Penis, a parody of I'm Your Venus by Bananarama. Wow.

And only one of these is real? Yeah. Well, only one of these is real? Yeah. Well, only one of these is track three. Oh, okay. I assume the other three. Probably the rest make up the album. Oh, okay. Damn.

No, that's not true. We just worried about the order. Right. Okay. We have to be really tapped into the sequencing of a 37-year-old album. Yeah. Now, I think Carl went first last time, so do you want to have a crack? Oh, fuck.

Can I very quickly hear them all again? Yes, yes. Sorry. Addicted to spuds. Yep. Car man, mechanic man. Take my bread away. Mama don't preach or I've got a penis.

I'm going to go with the first one because they're all- Addicted to spuds? It's terrible, but it's like, yeah, it's- It does like- It's the least terrible. Is spuds a term that people use in America? Maybe not. I don't know.

I think so. Yeah, maybe. But I'm really- What the game is, for me, in this question at the very least, is which one did Daslo write? I'm more intrigued by that. I'm really hoping it's Mama Don't Freak. Yeah.

I'm really hoping it's Mama Don't Freak. Yeah. I'm really hoping that. I'm going to vote based more on which one I want to be true. And the ones that I want to be true are the car mechanic and the penis. I'm really torn about which way to go. I'm going to go car mechanic. Come and mechanic man. Yep. Come and go.

And that would just be a song about a car man Yeah you go into the mechanic he rips you off There's a you know there's subject Topical wise there's a lot for him to draw on I can see that being in his wheelhouse Yeah it takes longer than you anticipate that sort of thing Foot do you want to have a guess at who Each of you went for for a bonus point

I think Carl wrote Mama Don't Preach Because of how much He's banging on about it. I think that's why I wrote Mama Don't Preach because I want it to be true. So you're both guessing the answer? Yes. Have we not made it clear? We're guessing the same answer every time.

Spider-Man pointing at himself. Well, here's who wrote the answers. I've got a penis. That was Carl. Yeah, here's who wrote the answers. I've got a penis. That was Carl. Yes. Yeah, great. Great. I should have known. Yes, you should have.

Take my bread away. That was Joff. Okay, the house. Okay. Mama don't preach. That was Tommy. Yes. Goddamn right.

Great. So a bonus point for Carl there. Car man, mechanic man. That was the house. So a point for the house there and the correct answer was addicted to spuds oh i got it so two points for carl yeah that makes sense one point for the house just a guy yeah just a lot to draw on about how many different ways he likes eating potato yeah i can i can kind of that's it i can hear it in my head that's good the first verse is

mashed potatoes potatoes and potato cakes hash browns and instant flakes baked or boiled or french fried there's no kind you haven't tried that's i i mean that's the one thing i always say about weirdo i think he goes a bit too hard like he's a bit too mean with his stuff but it's also like mama don't preach because it's like papa don't preach yeah but it's about mom all right flip the gender Yeah. But it's about mum. Oh, right. Flip the gender. Yeah. So it kind of turns it on its head. It was actually pretty progressive at the time in 86. Yeah. That's admitting that girls can preach too.

Yeah, exactly. But also telling them to stop. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's the dichotomy of Weird Al. Yeah. All right, we're up to question number three.

This one comes from Victoria from Frederick in Maryland. And Victoria's question is, which of the following is a real species of fish? So she's obviously found a slightly interesting sounding fish. Oh, okay. You just got to come up with a name of a species. Oh, okay. This is where we...

This is where you come in. Okay. Your time to shine. Chop up fish. Chop up fish. That's good. That's enough. Choppy us up us fish.

Yes. Addicted to spuds continues. It goes, you planned a trip to Idaho just to watch potatoes grow. I understand how you must feel. I can't deny they've got appeal. Whoa. You like them whether they're plain or they're stuffed. Oh, yeah.

Better face the facts. It seems you can't get enough. You know, you're going to have to face it. You're addicted to spuds. That's good stuff. Yeah. I'd say that's good stuff. And never was never a single.

All right. The answers are in for question number three, which is, which of the following is a real species of fish? I think there's going to be some really funny ones here. Or at least one. You've got devil's hole pupfish. Oh, yeah. The grunt, whistling stinker,

suspicious mouthfish, or the mama preach. Wow. That's really hard. They all sound like they could be real fishes. Can we have like triple bonus points if we can guess who's thought of H1? Oh, wow. For the hardest question so far. What was the suspicious? Suspicious mouth fish.

I'm going to go that one. All right. That seems like the kind of thing that someone would read about and be like, oh, that sounds made up. I'll submit this to them. Yeah. And read them one more time, please. Devil's hole pup fish, the grunt, whistling stinker,

suspicious mouth fish, the mama preach. Maybe the third one. Whistling Stinker. Yeah. Okay. Fucking A for Carl. Wow. Okay, here's who wrote the answers.

Go on. I'm on the edge of my seat. The Mama Preach, that was Tommy. What? Whoa. Why would you say that first? Edit that out. Edit that out.

Can you double check that? The Grunt. That was Carl. Yeah, it's classic me. Suspicious mouth fish. That was the house. Whistling stinker was also the house. The correct answer was devil's hole pup fish.

Okay. I was almost going to go with that one. Yeah. Me too. It was in my top five. Yeah. That means two points to the house. You're going to have to start clawing some points back here.

Quick score update. On one point, it's Tommy. On two points, it's Carl. But out in front, on five points, it's the house. Could be a rare victory here. But I'll tell you what's on ten points. Comedy. Yeah, yeah.

The real victor. I'm going to make a new column. Comedy's playing for a little sick kid in the hospital, so it really wants to win. If you can keep- Comedy's got a lot of money on Sportsbet on itself, so it can't afford to lose this one. You keep me updated on how comedy's going school-wise.

Okay, all right. I'll keep a separate tally. I've opened up a new tab for comedy school. All right. Here's question number four. This one comes from Paige Carroll from Arizona. Oh, wow. What were French woman Louise Marie Therese's last words

before she died in the 1700s? All right, let's boil this question down. Either those drapes go or either those kitchen knives go or I do. Yeah. Okay. Well, I've got an idea for a pretty funny answer. I think I remember this woman now, and so I'm writing down exactly what I think she said.

You can do that. I remember seeing in the 1700s a woman die, and I'm just starting to think, fuck, what did she say just before I shot her? While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about the devil's hole pupfish according to victoria the devil's hole pupfish is a critically endangered species found only in devil's hole a water filled cavern in nevada apparently it's the rarest fish in the world it was one of the first species to be listed as endangered and in 2013 its population hit a low

of only 35 fish but has since rebounded to 175, which is good news for the devil's hole pup fish. It's a good looking fish too, I'll tell you that. Good looking fish. Are you out of 10? Yeah, 10. Yeah. A 10.

That's rare for a fish. It's just like, it's a little sparkly guy. Oh yeah, that's alright. It's a good looking fish. That's pretty good. After that. I'd have a fish like that. That's pretty beautiful.

I'd eat a fish like that. That's high praise from Carl. I'd have a fish like that. That's pretty beautiful. I'd eat a fish like that. That's high praise from Carl. I know. You've seen me, Tommy, plenty of times say I'm not eating that ugly fish. All right. So the answers are in. Here's question four. Once again, what were Louise Marie Therese's last words before she died in the 1700s?

Here are your options. No, you fool. I ordered the poisson, not the poison. Oh, that's funny. That you fool. I ordered the poisson, not the poison. Oh, okay. That's funny. That is funny. I like it. I trust this horse with my life.

Chuck, Chuck, it's Marvin, your cousin. Marvin Berry? You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this. Good. A woman who can fart is not dead. Or I was in a cafe the other day and I saw an item on the menu called a duck sandwich.

And it made me sad in a way because I thought, finally, that duck is surrounded by bread and is in no position to enjoy it. Wow. In the 1700s that was said. That's an old joke. He went out on a high note. That's an old-ass joke. That's fucking ancient, dude. Went out on a high note. It's an old ass joke. This is fucking ancient, dude.

Went out on a big high note. That's definitely a point to comedy right there. So, yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's paying out big time. Comedy's taking the lead off the back of just one question. That's excellent. It's probably a small number, but some listeners might not be aware

that that is one of Cal Chandler's. Well, let's know. I mean, no, we might be about to uncover that he's actually stolen part of his stand-up from some anonymous random French woman. I thought you started to sweat when I said Louise Marie Therese. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, the jig is up finally. The Kevin Sheedy of her day.

Her famous joke book that Carl lives his material from. Kevin Sheedy? Yeah, the Kevin Sheedy joke book. He had a joke book. I once co-collated, wrote a book. Penguin paid me to help on a Kevin sheedy joke book the the legendary coach of the essendon bombers in in the australian football league and he put and they they just gave him money to put out to put on the cover and then he didn't contribute to the awards the book

in any way right yeah and it was like me and some other guy googling jokes and then writing the occasional joke and chucking it in there and i'm like terrible like, terrible. Like, they sent me what they had already. I'm like, this stinks so bad. This is, like, bad. Like, I'm giving you not great stuff, but the stuff you put in there, you've just found on page one of Google Jokes. Yeah. It's so, just thinking, like, what a marketing,

just, like, walking through the airport and being like, okay, this football coach wrote a joke book. I'm listening. It sounds like good stuff. And the blurb being, like, him going, I've put in the funniest jokes in the world into this book. Absolute gut busters. I am going to say.

I'm getting a point. I'm guessing that the duck sandwich joke was my, I put that in there just to advertise my own comedy on this podcast. Yeah. You have to get paid like royalties now off the back of it through APRA. Yes. I'm going to say the poison one. Poison one?

Yeah. For me? Really quickly go through the least obviously stupid ones. Trust this horse for my life. A woman who can fart is not dead. The horse one. All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers.

I was in a cafe the other day and I saw an item on the menu. Yes, yes, yes. Tot a duck sandwich. Yes. That was Tommy Dassler. Yes. He's stolen from me who stole from some French woman. Yeah.

But is it flattering that he can write it out word for word? Well, I think it's been said out loud on our podcast maybe one billion times. Yeah. It would be pathetic if I couldn't recite it word for word at this point. This is what happens at our live pods a lot of time, Matt, because people know that joke so well. They request it when I do stand up and then I say it and they don't react in any way because they know the joke off by heart already.

So they just, an entire room full of people go, do this joke, and then I do it and literally nobody laughs. That's a weird reaction, I would think. Well, that makes sense. They just, A, want to hear it out loud, but B, want to see me get very mad when no one laughs. Well, they've got you right with A1. I also liked that the genesis of it becoming a meme on the pod was Xavier Michaelides' impression of you was, did somebody say duck sandwich?

Yeah, just turned me into the guy that says the duck sandwich joke. It was never the number one joke in my canon or anything like that. It just made it a thing that everyone got obsessed by. But anyway. It's a good joke. It's not bad. Chuck Chuck, it's Marvin, your cousin Marvin Barry. That was Carl.

Oh, I wondered. And it would have been the funniest answer, were it not for some medley of kids. No, you fool, I ordered the poisson. That was the house. Oh, God, that goddamn house. As was I trust this horse with my life. Oh, no.

Meaning the correct answer is a woman who can fart is not dead. Yeah. Just before she died, she farted and thought that was a good sign, but as it turned out, it was not. And she said that about herself. Yeah, only in French. That's been translated. It would have sounded way more elegant.

Oh, okay. I get it. I think that would have been the giveaway if you had have given us the actual French. It was in French, yeah. Okay, I get it. I think that would have been the giveaway if you had have given us the actual French. If I could have gotten onto Babblefish and translated duck sandwich into French. There's still time. There's still time. So did comedy score any points that round?

Oh, comedy scored like a billion points off the back of that. How many zeros in a billion? Nine. Just put nine zeros. Nine zeros and then put a one after it. Yeah. How many zeros in a billion? Yeah. Nine. Just put nine zeros. Nine zeros and then put a one after it. Yeah.

All right. That means after round number four, the scores are Tommy on one, Carl on two, the house on seven,

but out in front on a billion and ten points. It's comedy. Wow. Wow. It's going to take a bit of- It's going to take the chocolates this week, I reckon.

Well, still three rounds to go. Here's question number five. Brayden from Brisbane wrote this one. Oh, Brayden. Which of these was a genuine car model, even though it sounds more like it should be an obscure Star Wars character? Oh. Does that make sense?

Okay, yep. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Louise Marie Therese's famous last words. According to Alcation, while she lay dying, she lost control of her bodily functions and, well, farted. Instead of being embarrassed about the little slip, she seemed relieved, saying, Good.

A woman who can fart is not dead. Those are mortal words. Can't wait to see Carl rip them off on stage. While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. So the answers are in for question number five. Which of these

was a genuine car model even though it sounds more like it should be an obscure Star Wars character? Bongo Friendy? Splang Slingo? The Yoda Mobile? Ponda Grindis? or Car Car Binks?

Wow, Car Car Binks. That makes The Yodamobile look like high art. I feel less bad. Who knows which one I wrote. Call this match off. Comedy is just. What is it called? The rule where it's like... The mercy rule.

Yeah, yeah. Comedy is being very unsportsmanlike at the moment. We're in the ring having our heads slammed into posts over and over by comedy. You shove it off the top rope into our heads. Can I hear them all again, please?

Can I just hear two of them again, please? The ones you probably want to hear, the Yodamobile and Car Car Binks. Thank you. The other option is the Pondergrindus. Boring. Sorry, Splang, Splingo or Bongo Friendy. Will it help you if I tell you it's a Mazda? Yeah, it really does.

Well, in that case, the Yodamobile. Okay. Pondergrindy for me, thank you. Can I go that as well, please? Pondergrindus? Yeah. Here's who wrote the answers. Splang Splingo, that was the house.

Okay. Good work, house. Kakao B Binks That was Carl Wow I wondered who that was The Yoda Mobile That was Tommy Okay

Okay Honda Grindus That was also the house Yep The correct answer was Bongo Friendy Oh The Mazda Bongo Friendy

That's a good question Yeah Whoever sent that in Yeah Who was this again? Brayden from Brisbane Brayden from Brisbane Go on again? Brayden from Brisbane. Brayden from Brisbane. I know that

there's at least one person listening who the biggest issue they have with the Yoda mobile is that the question said obscure Star Wars character and Yoda is not obscure. Yeah. Well, I mean, Kaka Binks is neither. That was

quite an important character. Yeah. Yeah. So that's- In that movie, the Volvo strikes back. Return of the Hyundai. That's good. That's good.

Comedy score that round, I think. Oh, my God. Oh, man. I think we've run out of zeros for the- Just write down the infinity symbol. It takes to comedy now. All right. So the scores are one point, Tommy, two points, Carl,

house on nine points, but out in front on infinity plus a billion and ten. It's comedy with two rounds to go still anyone's game question six comes from leah friel from san diego and california and the question is why did nba player clifford ray make headlines in 1978 why did nba player Clifford Ray make headlines in 1978? Okay And it was a non-basketball activity Okay Oh, okay If the answer had have just been basketball

Won a game of basketball I would have stormed out of here While you're writing those answers Let me tell you more about the Bongo Friendy According to the Mazda website Launched in 1995 The Mazda bongo friendly was created as a leisure base for the entire family and friends the most innovative feature

was the auto free top a giant power rooftop that was open and closed with a touch of a button creating an attic with a wonderful view with enough space for two adults to lie down and stretch and a spacious atrium inside the car other playful features included hyperslide seats and power roll curtains. A minivan that stirred imagination of its owners and their family, the Bongo Friendly was popularly spotted in auto campsites and resting facilities on highways across Japan. Can you repeat the question, please, Matthew? Why did NBA player Clifford Ray make headlines in 1978?

Okay. According to Braden, there are two 2001 models of Bongo Friendlies on sale on car sales in Australia at the moment, if anyone's interested in joining the Bongo Friendly lifestyle. Do you know what they go for? Roughly 25 grand. What do they look like? You're thinking it'll look like a little Star Wars alien, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm thinking it'll look like R2-D2 but with like wheels, like big monster truck wheels. Yeah, yeah. I want to get on what's the like AI art program and ask it to draw me the Yoda mobile. I think the results would be just wonderful. What do you think about this next question?

Do you think there's going to be any funny answers for the basketball question? Wouldn't have thought so, Ed. That's a bongo friendy. Oh, yeah. A big pop top. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, a bit of fun.

I could see myself getting around in one of them. There's no way Tommy will remember to do that Yotamobile, but if any listeners out there want to chuck that into AI and tag us in. Yeah, I'd love to see the results. And also have us riding it, being in it. It's a soft top, Yotamobile. We're going on a little road trip the results, yeah. And also have us like riding it, being in it. Put us all in it. It's a soft top. Going on a little road trip.

Yeah, yeah. And there's a signpost that says, to comedy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we have that picture, please? AI'll do a beautiful job of that, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good stuff. In my experience, whenever Matt Stewart has winced looking at the answers, I'm pretty sure it's been mine that he's been wincing at.

What's higher than infinity? Can you put an infinity on top of an infinity? Double infinity? Yeah, like going the other way. Oh, yeah. Like flip it. The four quadrant infinity. Have it standing up so you can fit more infinities behind it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Infinity for two. An infinity sucking off another infinity. Infinity sucking its own dick. Okay. All right, the answer for question number six. Yes, go on. Why did NBA player Clifford Ray make headlines in 1978?

He had his stomach pumped not once but twice due to accidentally drinking mislabeled paint. I love how fucked this episode is getting in that that's so stupid, but I know it's about to go up about five levels with at least two answers. He launched a disco career under the stage name Clifford the Big Groovy Dog. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's not bad. That's good.

I don't think we've found Tommy Dast on his answer yet, but we keep pushing. He was called upon to save a dolphin's life by reaching his arm down its throat to retrieve a piece of metal. Okay. Okay, there's two to go. Okay. He filmed a cameo for the Deer Hunter that was edited out.

Oh, okay. Or he gave Magic Johnson a time capsule full of aids not to be opened for at least 13 years. Okay. Wow. 13 years. Okay. Wow. All right. Okay. All right.

So when are the funny ones that we wrote coming up? I'm going to guess. It looks like comedy has taken, maybe it's resting on its own. Save my energy for the finals. This is the buy round for comedy. Stomach pumped, disco career, saving a dolphin, cameo for Deer Hunter or magic Johnsonades. Honestly, I'm stuck trying to pick which one Tommy's one is.

He hasn't left a proper Dassler signature on this one, I don't think. You're guessing Dassler. That's the Dassler signature in itself. Exactly. You're the one supposed to keep us guessing because you're the quiz master, you fucking idiot. I'm going to guess the dolphin. Dolphin?

Yeah. Tommy? Locking that in? Yeah. Sorry, go once more. Stomach pumped, Clifford the Big Groovy Dog, disco, Dolphin, cameo for Deer Hunter or Magic Johnson time capsule. Oh, let's go Deer Hunter.

Deer Hunter for Carl. I think because I literally last night read the synopsis of that movie on Wikipedia very randomly. And that's why you think it's the real answer? That's why I think it's got to be. It's got to be. Did it mention a few scenes got cut featuring basketballers? Yeah, it said that literally happened.

That's why I'm guessing. Yeah, right. Wow. Yeah. So if that's not the answer, I'm going to have a problem with Wikipedia. Yeah. I'm going to be emailing Mrpedia and I'm going to have a problem with Wikipedia. Yeah. I'm going to be- I'm going to write a letter. I'm going to be emailing Mrpedia and I'm not happy. He's who wrote the answers.

Having his stomach pumped twice due to drinking paint. That was Leah, aka The House. Okay. The House also wrote that he launched a disco career under the name Clifford the Big Groovy Dog. He gave Magic Johnson a time capsule. That was Carl Chandler. Oh, wow.

I had a feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Carl went for, he filmed a cameo for the Deer Hunter that was edited out. That was Tommy Dasolo. Oh, yeah. He's got me good.

That was autocorrect. I tried to type, he crashed his Yodamobile. And I was reading that Wikipedia entry off Tommy's phone last night, so he set me up. Yeah, exactly. It's all part of the long con. Yeah. And that means the correct answer is what Tommy went for.

He saved a dolphin's life. Finally. I got one right. Wow. So that's multiple points for Tommy that round. Look out, comedy. I'm coming for you. I like our enemy's comedy in this game.

Yeah, it's the, what are they called, like in the chase? The nerds? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. The super nerd and the nanny and whatever. The super comedy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, how does comedy go that round?

No points, negative points? I think comedy, yeah. I think comedy has to lose a few points on that one. Oh, that AIDS is pretty funny. I've just changed my mind. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah. Give it like 25 points.

All right. We're up to the final question. We always finish with a movie synopsis question. So this one will be your longest answer. Oh, where are we? Normally about a couple of sentences long. Oh, okay. question so this one will be your longest answer probably we're aware normally about a couple of sentences long okay uh and this one comes from matthew boar from calona in british columbia wow and matthew's question is what is the synopsis of the 2021 sci-fi horror film

titane or titane okay what is the synopsis of the 2021 sci-fi horror film Titane. Spelt how? T-I-T-A-N-E. And while you're writing your answers, this will take a bit longer, I've got a bunch of information about Clifford Ray and the Dolphin from a San Francisco Chronicle article by Peter Hartlaub. On February the 25th, 1978, Clifford Ray had his arm covered in lube before attempting to reach into the stomach of dr spock a show dolphin at marine world in redwood city a bolt fell off a pipe spock thought

it was a fish and swallowed it the arm of a regular vet was several inches too short to reach the bolt and the six foot nine ray was called because of his 45 inch reach ray was recuperating at home with an injury while his team, the Warriors, were on the road. Ray reached into the second stomach of the dolphin, which was not sedated. A vet from LA was on the intercom giving Ray instructions. Ray later told the Chicago Tribune about the dolphin saying, they are a very smart animal and I think he realized he was in trouble. He was pretty much cooperative through the whole thing. The extraction took less than three minutes. In addition to having a Marine World Tiger cub named after him, Clifford Ray was also presented with a bronze-plated plaque

containing the bolt and a lifetime pass to the park. There was also a children's book written about the event. Ray played with the Warriors until his retirement in 1981 and has worked in recent years as an assistant coach for the Dallas Mavericks, Chicago Bulls and Boston Celtics. Years later, Ray told NBA writer Howard Beck that the Dolphin was grateful, saying, after that whole incident, whenever I would go to the park, he would always recognise me. He would come right up to me without being prompted.

Wow. What a tale. Makes me long for that French lady. What do you think, Matt? What do you think of what I've just sent you? Yeah. What do you think of mine, too? I'm? Yeah. What do you think of mine too? I'm not going to read them until I read them out.

Okay. I like that. You want it to be fresh. Yeah. Nice. Well, if you don't laugh while you're doing it. I mean, be tricked or whatever we're supposed to be doing here. All right.

We're up to the final question. I should also say, and this is normally relevant, but not really this week, that it's worth triple points. Okay. All right. That's good to know now. Yeah. Damn, I would have typed in something even funnier

if I had known that. I think a certain someone is about to be on three infinity. So the question is, what is the synopsis of the 2021 sci-fi horror film Titane? How would you say it? Titane, maybe? Maybe. Titane? A sentient bra starts to murder its wearers, leaving a trail of bodies all throughout the

intimate sections of department stores across the country. Can it be stopped? Wow. I want to see Titane. That's a good one. It's murder or bust. Titane was born as Thomas Alsop in 1986 and raised in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. He is an only child.

At age nine, he was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a rare bone marrow disease. This became the subject of his one-man stand-up show, Pipsqueak, in 2012. Wow, I'm going to see this movie. This sounds cool. This does sound really- This is science fiction. This sounds really interesting.

Sexy. Is this a porno? Sci-fi horror. Is this in space? Yeah. What's going on? I think there must be- There sounds like there's a Yodamobile involved in this somewhere.

That was his make-a-wish. I want a Yotamobile involved in this somewhere. That was his make a wish. I want a Yotamobile. Well, to be fair, I believe Thomas also did change his name. I just thought it was just something else not to detain. A Spanish robot child is programmed to find the meaning of life only to be corrupted by what it finds on social media as it scours the internet, leading its focus to change to ending humanity

and destroying the world. That's very funny. That's Dastlo, I bet. A young model named Alexia is impregnated by a car before going on a murderous rampage until she is taken in by a friendly firefighter who may have other intentions. All right.

Okay. That's option four. Final option. Yep. Man-child Billy Madison, played by Adam Sandler, has been a spoiled kid his whole life and spends his days drinking and partying. When his father, Hotel Magnet Brian, played by Darren McGavin,

becomes fed up with his son's irresponsible ways, he issues an ultimatum. Since Billy passed all his schooling, thanks to his father's influence and bribes, he must retake and pass every grade in 24 weeks. Otherwise, the business will be turned over to Brian's conniving associate, Eric, played by Bradley Whitford. That's a weird one to choose between.

Which fucked-in-the-head man-child synopsis am I going to choose? The Adam Sandler movies have gotten a lot worse in recent years. Yeah, that does sound... between which fucked in the head man-child synopsis am I going to choose? The Adam Sandler movies have gotten a lot worse in recent years. So it does, yeah, it does sound like a 2021. Someone tried to argue, Dave Callan tried to argue with me the other day that Billy Madison was a bad movie. Like, you're a fucking idiot. That's stupid. It's a great movie.

I mean, Tatane. So yeah, Tatane, yeah, yeah. I think the scouring social media. Scouring social media. Is the real one. Well, I'll go with the first one then, whatever that first one was. Right. You can tell when someone's invested in the quiz when they just go,

number one or two. The sixth one. There was a sixth. The sentient bra? Sure. Yeah. Oh, is that what that was? I'm changing it then.

What was the other ones? That's the most obviously fake one. And that's saying something. Yeah, Thomas Alsop. Yeah, not that one. Young model is impregnated by a car. Oh, God, sure. Or man-child Billy Madison.

Oh, the car one. Impregnated by a car. Yeah, sure. Stranger things have happened. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Yes, go on. Wow. A sentient brass starting to murder its wearers.

That was written by Matthew Boar. Okay, the house. Boarzy. Titane was born Thomas Alsop in 1986, raised in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Go on. By a hotel magnate. I can't remember paraphrasing now.

That was Carl. Hotel magnate? Where'd that come from? Yeah, you are crossing over. Oh, no. You're thinking Tommy. Tommy is Billy Madison. Yeah.

So that's an option. That's actually Tommy's. That's my Wikipedia page. That's your Wikipedia. Yeah. That's fantastic. Thanks. Oh, you like that.

Thank you. And man child, Billy Madison. That was Tommy Das Thanks. Oh, you like that. Thank you. And Manchild Billy Madison. That was Tommy Dasolo. Now, was that also a Wikipedia page? Yeah. Well, no, it was just Google synopsis. Yeah. It is good to have a couple of professional writers on.

There's going to be, there will be listeners who are furious about this episode. Oh, good. Control C, control V, baby. The most powerful tools in the writer's arsenal. Hey, I'm laughing a lot on this episode. Yeah. That's something good. Oh, no, look, I'm having fun, but there will be people.

That are annoyed that we didn't take the game seriously? Probably. Yeah, great. I mean, you can't please all the people all the time. No, exactly. That's like the people that get mad at Tony Martin for doing joke answers on Have You Been Paying Attention. It's like, oh, being funny on a comedy show.

Okay, right. I'll put up a content warning. Please, can you? A trigger warning on a quiz where we're just copying and pasting each other's Wikipedia. Can you please put a warning? Guys, if you don't like comedy, please stop listening now. Because comedy has a very good day.

Yes. Yeah. I can't wait to check in with how comedy scores in the end. Can you, anyone that has complaints, please, Matt Stewart's a very busy man. Can you complain directly to the social media pages of Tommy Dassler or Carl Chandler, please? I'm happy to hear if anyone's annoyed by not taking the quiz seriously.

I'll happily wear that. Yeah, I'm happy to hear. I'm happy to hear all of your complaints. I came in here. I'll give each one of them an answer. Like a bad review on my comedy club, I'm happy to give each one of them an answer and explain what we were trying to do on this show.

Can't be more generous than that. Yeah. Maybe we can come back and we can do an episode where we just take the game completely seriously and we make it our mission to not say a single funny thing on the episode. Yes. That'd be good. We've got a few little Dumb Dumb Club episodes

that are quite like that early on in the piece. Yeah, we had a do go on that was like that where it was just a real serious topic. And I think Dave was telling us about Helen Keller. And Jess and I, or Jess was telling me and Dave were just like, we never got into the rhythm of making light of the- Helen Keller. No, we figured out since you make fun of things around, it doesn't have to be-

Yeah, directly. Tommy, you went for a Spanish robot child being programmed and ends up destroying the world. That was The House. Matthew Boar in particular. Also at the bra one. So he has range. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That means, Carl, you were correct. A young model named Alexia is impregnated by a car before going on a murderous rampage. He really thought about it pretty deeply too. You can tell he was really invested in that answer. Well, it's the only one he got right, so that was the strategy he should have taken from the beginning. Didn't I get one right?

I got another one right, didn't I? Yeah, you might have got one right. Something happened at some stage. Let's hear the final scores. How did comedy go that round? It'd have to have got a minus three infinity answer to have lost this one. So I don't think it did all right.

24 points in that round. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, I don't want to give anything away. So before we get to the final score, this film, Titane, was loved by critics. 90% on IMDb. Oh, sorry, 90% on Rotten Tomato from critics, 85% from the audience.

A review by Mr. Mansfield on IMDb reads, I don't really know what I just watched. It was incredibly weird, but nevertheless watchable. In fact, I might even go as far as to say it was mesmerizing. Okay. That's pretty good. I reckon that'll be reviews of this episode. So final score check.

Oh, actually I forgot that was triple points. Oh no. Uh oh. So that means at the end of the game. Cause I got that one right. I'm a chance of what's, what's, I could overtake comedy. Is that possible? Because it's triple points.

Yeah, it wasn't triple infinity though. Oh, okay. Oh, no. And so when you said 24 points, Tommy. Yeah, that actually means. That should be triple 24. 60, 72. Yes.

All right. So here's the final scores. Okay. Well, it might pit me at the post then. Okay. On three points, it's Tommy D'Astolo. Hell yeah. On five points, Carl Chandler.

Yes. On 12 points, it's The House. Well done. But on triple infinity plus a billion and 107, it's comedy. Oh, that's a pretty impressive score. That's an impressive score for comedy. Comedy. I think that might be the biggest score of all time

So comedy is the carry over champ You should have comedy back Well it's been 53 episodes and this is the first time it's appeared We should, yeah we should I'll see if comedy is available next week Dave Thorne wasn't but comedy was Well that brings

to the end of the episode there will be outtakes at the end if people are keen to hear more nonsense where can people find you to obviously the little

dum-dum clubs we have a podcast called the little dum-dum club it's me and Tommy we're much more serious than this it's really dry

it's like Q&A yeah it's just been great to get out and really sort of stretch our wings on this episode. So it's us being very silly.

Yeah, if you don't know us, we have guests on every week. Matt Stewart himself has been on. We brought Matt Stewart to Koh Samui in Thailand once. So good. We did live episodes on the beach and all that sort of stuff. So, yeah, if you like what me and Tommy just did, then it's that all the time without any structure. I'd love someone who hasn't listened before to go back and find that weird al oh yeah that'd be their first

time and and maybe let us know how how they think that question played yeah tell us how many shirts you had i can't remember the answer yeah uh yeah so and there's like what 600 episodes six yeah 600 and something i think yeah get it wherever episodes? Yeah, 600 and something, I think. Yeah. Get it wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, and if you guys type in the code YODAMOBILE, all the episodes are free. Whoa.

Yeah. That's awesome. And you can type that in anywhere. Yeah, yeah, anywhere. And then you just go to your podcast app. Type it in with a tattoo needle onto your arm. Okay. And you can get all the episodes for free.

Oh, man. That's when we've made it, when someone's tattooing YODAMOBILE on them. Thanks the episodes for free. Oh, man. That's when we've made it, when someone's tattooing Yotamobile on them. Thanks so much for listening. Please give us a five-star review. Tell your friends if you think you might know anyone who will enjoy it. Maybe not this episode. For a good one to start with.

Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It? Matt's Show. And now that you know it, I've been Matt's Show. Goodbye. Matt's show at goodbye. So far, anything that's been recorded so far, I'll possibly use some of this. Use this. I 100% will. I 100%.

I 100% will okay well yeah that is Hannah Hicks' first question where do you get off Tommy? where do I get off? is that really the first question? and I have to type this to you over the video? nice try in the car before the show

yeah even I can't remember car before the show. Yeah, even I can't remember. It feels like time moves really differently in this room. Yeah, yeah. It does. Well, it gets away from you, honestly. Yeah, 17 minutes in. Wow.

One question down. Yeah, awesome. Do we get a point for that? Do we get a point for every minute that we've wasted so far? What about all the minutes we wasted before the show? Thornton gets a point then. Yeah. Yeah, we saw Dave Thornton out there.

He was invited on at the last minute. And he said no. Yeah. Yeah. Like quite firmly. Yeah, yeah. Which I think is a nice little summation of how our careers are going And how his is going Yeah he was literally

Looking at his computer I don't think it was on No Well that's what I mean It was It was either He'd been staring at it so long That it had shut itself down

Yeah Not plugged in Power cord kind of Wrapped up On the bench Still in its box. Yeah. It was weird.

Had that little protective bit of film over the screen he hasn't peeled off yet. Like a nana's computer. This is good stuff. Oh, damn. I've just thought of one that came out in 86. That would have been better. That's not too late.

Was it you? Yeah. It is me. That's not too late. Was it you? Yeah. It is me. Yeah, I was born in 1986.

Right, right. And Weird Al parodied me on his album. Tommy, fat ass hello. Album came out in September. I was five days old. Track three was about me. This fat baby from Australia that he read about. Oh, that was the real one. No, no, that was Joff.

Oh, he wrote that. They write the question. They also give me some suggestions for fake answers. Oh, my God. You told me it was going to be. You said before the show, you explained it, and we said, this sounds complicated. You said, don't worry.

It's going to be really smooth once we start, and I'm yet to see that smoothness. So far, it's fucking crunchy peanut butter. This is a good episode, first episode for people to listen to because you learn what the show is in painstaking detail. It's a good episode for Matt to listen back to and fix. This is going to be a brulee. What if Weird Al was singing about having a penis, though?

That would have been pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty funny. I'm your Venus. I have a penis. I have a penis. I have a penis.

I have a penis. I have a penis. I have a penis. Yeah, I don't know. I have a penis. I have a penis. Yeah, I don't know. It could be about like a venereal disease. I have a penis. It's on fire. I've got thrush.

You know, something. Bit bawdy. Bit bawdy for Weird Al. And then he'd go through them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Syphilis. Yeah. That might be like.

I can't remember the rest of the melody of the song it could be like a japan only b-side right yeah big in japan you think yeah yeah what's on that album the song that joff actually suggested was a lead single and that made me nervous you you might know it so i picked an album track and said that the lead single was living with a hernia oh yeah parody of james i remember living in america you know i remember being a big fan of him back then being fucking four years old or something and like going this is amazing they've changed the words yeah but i remember that song coming out and going well you've lost me here i don't i don't get it because it was a parody

i didn't i didn't know what a hernia was and i didn't know what the song living in america was yeah it was like it it wasn't on rage it wasn't on glenn ridge's um hosted show on uh on glenn ridge's yeah he of the century yes he before see this is the amazing thing about glenn ridge to me growing up in country victoria is so he was the host of south of the century right and to everyone else in the world he came out of nowhere he'd been a host on several shows on BTV6, which is Ballarat's radio station. He used to be the host of Six's Super Saturday show, which was the show that went from 7.30 in the morning till 10.30 in the morning,

all cartoons. He would host cartoons. Right. And then at 10.30, he'd host a show called Off the Record. And it would be like, you know, Rage or whatever.

They would have like music videos and stuff like that. So we're like, oh yeah, Glenn Ridge, all of a sudden he's fucking hosting sales century i can't picture that yeah how has this happened what a transformation yeah he once um got on a helicopter and landed on the middle of mirabara's big footy oval and i ran into the middle of the oval to meet glenn ridge just when i was a kid when i was a kid yeah wow but very funny like looking back beetle style the host of the cartoon show on Ballarat TV, hosts like landing on a chopper on a footy oval

and all the kids just running up going, what's Scooby-Doo really like? We love you, Glenn. That's so good. Oh, man. I had no idea he was a triple threat. Well, I can't believe that that was his CV. And they went, yeah, you can take over like the biggest rating quiz show

because you used to say, anyway, here's the Flintstones. Yeah, that's all, folks. Yeah. I don't know what I expected having you two on, to be honest. Yeah. Do some people come in and take this like mad seriously? Yes. Who's taking it the most seriously?

Probably Tom Cashman. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Because the hidden question there was who was the least funny on this show. Who cares more about winning than comedy? I think you can do both. I think you can do both. Who's more accurate than funny? Man, I got the best answer.

Yeah, the makers of Mama Don't Preach have done it again. Oh, I'll say this. If you thought Duck Sandwich was good, I've now got a new classic. I slept so badly last night, my brain is just not ticking over today. It's rough stuff in here. That's the kind of show you want, isn't it? Yeah. When you haven't slept well enough,

you really don't need a poorly thought out structure of a quiz show to really fuck you up. No, no, I'll accept all the blame for this. This is all me. This is all user error. This is complete 404. This is definitely the most shambolic episode, 53 in, which is high praise to you.

You must have had a lot of nerds to get to fucking the coolest dudes today. I'm like, couple of comedy writers. This show's built for them. Couple of chaos agents. Leave the world a little worse off than how you found it. That's what my dad always says. We're like the Ross Noble of comedy over here, so you don't know where we're going to go next.

Oh, my God. I'm losing my fucking mind. noble of comedy over here so you don't know where we're going to go next oh my god I'm losing my fucking mind