Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 54 - Dave Warneke, Kirsty Webeck and Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall

Episode Date: September 18, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat), Kirsty Webeck (You'll Never Believe This, But...) and Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall (Two In The Think Tank, Shusher Guided Meditations).Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Daves' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew With Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest this week was bass player in his high school band Weed Hornet. It's Dave Warnecke. Great to be here rocking out such hits as Who Cares?

No. Yeah, Who Cares? And Never Knew. Ah. Our second guest this week was the drummer in his high school band Skateboard. It's Alistair Trombley-Birchall. Thank you very much. It was more of a university band, but it was famous for that one jam we did.

Yeah, did you put a name on the jam? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skateboard. Is it one of those self-titled songs? Yeah. There are only three people in that jam, but 50,000 people say they were there. That's right. It launched about 100 bands that never played more than one jam together.

And our third guest this week was known as DJ Dance at one point. It's Kirstie Wiebeck. Hello. And am I right, Kirstie, in saying that dance was not spelled day and C-E? No, mate. No, why would I have spelled it like that? The traditional French way. Yeah.

I'm not spelling it like that. Everyone spells it like that. Mine was with a T-Z. Oh, okay. Like just at the end, just to clarify, it wasn't some weird Suzuki dip situation going on with my DJ name. D-A-N-T-Z. Is that a portmanteau of the word dance and ants from the movie Ants?

Sure. Tribute. Great movie. What kind of tunes were you playing? I mean, I started out as a karaoke DJ. Whoa. And then I dabbled for a couple of years in House and Breaks because I'm cool. Were you big in the, was this the Canberra scene?

It was the Canberra scene. Yeah, I was huge. What events were you doing? I was up there, mostly Parliament House. Wow. The War Memorial. Yeah, the War Memorial. Just private functions at Questacon.

The Mint. The Mint. I'll be sort of spinning records by the pears outside the NGA. Yeah, yeah, some fat beats out by the pairs outside the NGA. Yeah. Yeah, some fat beats out of the mint. That was me. I used to do some of the clubs around town. I used to get around a bit.

It was like, it was just pocket money while I was at uni. I wasn't deeply passionate about it, let's be real. Love it. Was Skateboard in Canberra as well? Skateboard was also in Canberra. They might have been happening concurrently. Oh, my God. Maybe that's why at my big shows I had less punters.

That's exactly right. Because they were at the jam. They were all looking through the window of my house, splitting the audience. Yeah. That is unlucky. All right. So the way this show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question

and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one, and they have to guess which one is correct. The first question comes from a listener named Heidi from Hastings. And the question is, what does the word griffinage mean? What does the word griffinage mean? While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestants or each other contestants. That's one point point each and another point if you correctly guess the answer and by the way i'm also playing as the house and i've put two of my own fake answers in for each question and i get a point for each one of those that i guess choose so each of us

can score up to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins so if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know this is nearly never the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes that is the patreon for this podcast and the podcast network it's involved in which of course also includes podcasts i do with dave warner key called do go on and we're right in the middle, or we're about to hit off our Blocktober period. It's going to be huge. The biggest time of year in the Do Go On calendar.

We do the biggest topics of all time, the most voted for ones, and yeah, Kirsty was on a recent episode as well, actually. Yeah, I was. One of my favourites. I love Do Go On. Oh, that's very nice, Kirsty. And it was just fortuitous. You didn't know what the topic was going to be.

Dave talked about Adidas and you're a huge Adidas fan. Massive. Huge. Half my wardrobe. Yeah, because you're kind of often wearing sort of just like Adidas undergarments and sort of like. Yeah, negligee. Adidas negligee. Adidas long johns.

The famous three-stripe brassieres. Lace. Three-stripe lace brassieres. Beautiful. They're a bit scratchy, but they're worth it. Yeah, sure. But they also support when you're running. They're very supportive.

I have an Adidas therapist. What? An Adidas therapist who's especially supportive. I'm so sorry. I should have said wife or something like that, you know. I have an Adidas wife. All right, the answers are in for question number one. What does the word griffinage mean?

Careless handwriting, a crude or illegible scrawl. A term used by sailors to refer to wastewater. A medical term for a baby who experiences silent reflux and trapped gases, commonly called a gripey baby. Gripey. Gripey. Gripey. What? A vet hospital specialising in the care of exotic and rare creatures.

An allowance made for reduction in the takings of a wizard's business due to wastage or theft. Or the soggy leaf matter that clumps in residential guttering. Griffinage. Griffinage. Last week's episode, we had Tommy and Carl from the little dum-dum club, and nearly none of their answers were to be taken seriously. So it's going to be jarring for listeners to come back to this

where there are actually six legitimate possibilities. What would they have said for Griffinidge? I would have said one of the answers was Carl just copied Tommy's Wikipedia entry. That's funny. It was. That's good stuff. People love the episode. I'm thinking about pivoting to just telling the guest to not give a fuck.

Go rogue. And as I'm reading back through these, there are a few that are pretty ridiculous. Anyway, so what does griffinage mean? Chaos handwriting, sailor's word for wastewater, medical term for gassy babies, gripey babies, vet hospital with exotic creatures, allowance for the reduction of wizard business due to wastage,

or a soggy leaf matter that clumps in residential guttering? Oh, gosh. Soggy leaf matter clumping? Yuck. Like horror words to have so close together in an sentence. That makes me feel ill. That is awful. Yeah, who are you going to blame for that, though?

Is it Macquarie Dictionary or one of your peers here? One of our peers, absolutely. I'm going to say it was the house. Yeah. Oh, you think of the house as your peer? Arrogant. I will go for the wastewater. Wastewater from vessels, maritime vessels?

Yeah. I'm leaning towards that one as well. All right. A, T, B. What was it? Sorry, what's the handwriting one again? Handwriting was careless handwriting, a crude or illegible scroll. Maybe it's kind of like, you know, handwriting scratchings,

the scratchings of a clawed beast like a griffin. Okay, okay. It looks like, you know, a griffin was trying. Sounds like uh you know a griffin was trying sounds like someone justifying their answer okay sounds good it feels like that's the one interesting because i was i was thinking i was leaning that way but then you've talked yourself out of a point there probably yeah mate how about a little bit of shush if you want some 60 cents in this game. How about you go for my wizard one as well? Oh, I love a bit of coin or tax deductions. Oh, I see what he's doing.

He's doing a bit of reverse psychology on us. He is not an Adidas psychologist. He is not supporting us. I'm losing count. You're double, triple or quadruple bluffing us right now, Al. I'm not supporting you like an all day I think about sex teddy. Sorry for the listeners. Al just turned his palms up to the sky as if to say, I don't know.

I'm so sorry. I thought he was sort of like posing like Jesus. Yeah. I did it. I did it. I did it. There it is. You're witnessing joy. You're witnessing a God at work here.

For me to continue on this podcast episode, I'm going to need Alistair to leave. Sure. Can I do it from outside of the pod and call in? I'll just listen to you. Were you about to lock one in? Because I don't want to talk over you, but. No, please go.

You go ahead. I'll panic choose at the end. Okay. I think I am going to go with the scroll. You've talked me into it, then out of it, then back into it, Alistair, and I'm in. All right. Locking it in for Dave.

What are you thinking, Kirsty? I'm going to go wastewater scroll, wastewater scroll, wastewater scroll. Don't forget the leaves. They make us all feel sick. Absolutely not the leaves. A clump. Hey, look, sometimes the truth is not, it doesn't feel good. Yep.

George Michael said there's no comfort in the truth. That's it. Pain is all you'll find. And ain't that the truth? Damn right, George. Oh, so uncomfortable. Scrawl. Scrawl?

Let's go for scrawl. All right. And if ATB made thatl? Let's go for Scrawl. All right. And if ATB made that up, I'm going to flip this table. If ATB made that up, jeez, he played this game. Somehow he made you both doubt it and come back to it. I know. You're so good. And I'll be so, if I've been outwitted by ATB, I'll be livid.

That is such an insult. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. What does griffinage mean? So we had medical term for a baby who experiences silent reflux and trapped gases. That was Heidi, a.k.a. The House. I forgot about that one, to be honest.

Could I change my answer? I like it. The House also wrote an allowance made for reduction in the takings of a wizard's business due to wastage or theft. It's good. Yeah. I thought that was one of you too, for sure. Yeah.

And that's a true compliment to the house. That's exactly why I didn't write it. I would never praise the house. No. Same. I thought about writing that one and I didn't. A vet hospital specialising in the care of exotic and rare creatures. That was Dave Warnicky.

That was me. Oh, yeah. No one considered it even for a second. No. No. Hard not to say that personally. It turned into white noise for me the second time. It was spread out.

Just a little you time. There's nothing worse when nobody even mentions it. It's so bad. It's not even notable as a sentence. Actually, no, there is one worse one. Immediately someone goes, well, it's clearly not this one. And you haven't written it for a laugh or anything. I genuinely tried.

Which is what Kirsty did to Al's answer. The soggy leaf matter that clumps in residential guttering. Kirsty did it. Did they say not that? Also I'm not shocked that ATB wrote that one. That comes from a bleak mind. I was in a dark place. A dark

and soggy place when I wrote that. A term used by sailors to refer to wastewater. Al went for that. That was Kirstie Webeck. In your face, ATV. Got it. That's inspired stuff. Where do you get your ideas?

I hope that's not too personal. A gentle woman never tells. Do you think of yourself as a gentle woman never tells. Honestly. Do you think of yourself as a gentle woman? No. Oh, no. Not in any sense of the word. Violent.

Violent. Aggressive at best. That means Dave and Kirstie's correct or are correct. It's careless handwriting, a crude or illegible scrawl. I can't believe it. We are the champions. That's right. Al, you or illegible scroll. I can't believe it. We are the champions. That's right. Oh, you tried to talk us out of it by backing it.

I know. I know. It just seemed like. It was funny because you were right on the money with your explanation and stuff. Yeah. But you didn't talk yourself into it. I know, but I'd already chosen mine. And I was like, geez, that one sounds good.

Dave and I are about to sing We Are The Champions in its entirety, but we're going to need you on the keytar for it and you on the drum. I was going to be the saddest drumbeat ever. And Al, we're going to need you outside of the room. To have a think about what you've done. Sorry, Al, just a vibe thing. It's just a fun thing. So after one round, Al and the house are on zero points,

Dave's on one point, but out in front it's Kirstie Wiebeck on two points. I'm a mad dog. I can't believe how mad you are of a canine. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. This brings us up to question number two, which comes in from listener and comedy legend Anthony Morgan.

Wow. And Anthony Morgan asked this question. What trend or craze swept through London in the 1860s? What trend or craze swept through London in the 1860s? So give us a name for it and then a brief description. 1860s. 1860s. While you're writing your answers, here is some more info on griffinage.

Grace from WordFoolery writes, griffinage isn't popular enough to merit an entry in all the dictionaries, but Merriam-Webster helps out again with the etymology, and yes, it does have a link to the mythical beast, the griffon. A griffon was a mythical creature from Greek legends, which had the head and wings of an eagle paired with the body and hindquarters of a lion. It was believed to live in Scythia and guard a hoard of gold. The word gives us Old French griffon, which is a bird of prey, and it entered English around 1200.

The griffin was named for its hooked beak in Greek. Griffinage entered English from French griffiner, to scribble or scrawl. It had evolved from Middle French griffineur, to scribble, from griffin stylus, and edge, which act of for example sabotage griffin itself has roots in griff as in claw which links the word to the clawed griffin of mythology so i think al's logic sort of ties in there a little bit somehow i believe okay let's let's keep it rolling the less time with atb the better come on guys. All right. The answers are in for question number two. So here it is. What trend swept through London in the 1860s?

The toupee poodle. A type of small dog that became a popular fashion accessory amongst bald men. The Alexandra Limp, named after Princess Alexandra, whose gait was affected by an illness, which led to young people mimicking her limp as a fashion statement. That's cool. Front torso glue casts. After discovering the joy of peeling dried sticky off their hands, like a second skin,

a surplus glue known as paste waste, paste waste led to a trend of people creating chest portraits by covering themselves in glue and satisfyingly peeling them off. That's beautiful. I'm going to start offering that to my Patreon supporters. Just the full body card. Fold it up in the mail. For $1,000 a month, you'll get a full body glue card. For $10,000 a month, you can pull it off yourself.

Mate, I'd offer that for five the pleasure's mine so they're the first three options then you got rifting a game where participants ran across rooftops and scored points by overtaking players from opposing teams trouser din a craze where working class men wore trousers on their legs but also their arms stemming from an industrial law that required employers to pay for trousers, but not for any shirts or jackets. Or ear gardens. As a sign of their status, the well-to-do would cultivate miniature moss gardens in their ear crevices. That's got to be it.

That reeks of gutter clumps for me. Hey, you can only doter clumps for me. Hey, you can only do one clump per episode. I'm clean now. I did the roof one. It's very wholesome. Can we have a quick summary? Yes, I'll just see if you need more explanation,

but I'll just give you the names of them. Okay. So I got the toupee poodle. Sorry, but that was for bald men with the poodle. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Small dogs. The Alexandra limp, front torso glue casts, rifting, trouser din, or ear gardens.

Oh, my gosh. Now, I think first time around, Al went first. So maybe, Kirsten, you want to have a first crack this time? All right. I'm going purely on gut instinct here. I'm going to go for the limp. Limp? Yeah.

The Alexandra limp. Yeah. And that was Princess Alexandra, wasn't it? Princess Alexandra. Is that who they named the library after? The Library of Princess Alexandra. And the gardens. The Library of Alexandra.

The Limping Library. And Alexandra Gardens. Alexandra Gardens, Princess. Yeah. Which were known to grow in people's ears. Yeah, great, great. And is that the princess from Tough Enough Princess? Yes.

Yeah, great. Yeah. Dave, do you want to go next? I'm really tempted by The Limp as well. Gosh. But we had the same answer last time, so. And it was correct. You're licking your lips.

I believe you're absolutely right about that. Yeah. I'm trying to think. But fair enough. If you want me to surge ahead. I mean, the bald man with a dog, toupee poodle. The toupee poodle. It is a very beautiful kind of phrase, the Toupe Poodle.

Can we hear all the- I think it's for the double U. Toupe Poodle. All the names again. All the same, all yeah. Toupe Poodle. Toupe Poodle. Alexandra Limp.

Front torso glue casts. Another one that feels good in the mouth. Rifting. Trouser din. Or ear gardens. And rifting was running across rooftops. Yeah, as a game. A competitive game game Competitive game

Sounds way more fun than pickleball I'm hearing a lot about pickleball all of a sudden I've only just It's just landed across my desk recently And I wanted to crack at it But then I found out that the ball Is like It sort of floats down

Like I imagine it's kind of like beach ball vibes So it's really slow like beach ball vibe. Right. So it's really slow and I prefer a bit of a speedier sport. Sure, sure, sure. That's why you're a squash player, aren't you? I'm a squash player, yeah, and futsal. So, you know, I like a bit of pace behind my sport.

You're also like a rally driver. Yeah, yeah. You're also a 100-metre sprinter. I'm a 100-metre sprinter. Rally driving is not that different from being a DJ Because you've just got to Spin around things You've got to spin that shit Well

That's what I do And I do I scratch And I bust out fat beats From behind the wheel Of my rally car Changing gears

It's a lot like Just putting the volume Up and down You know when you're driving It's essentially Just road DJing So Kirsty's got The Alexandra limp Dave what are you It's essentially just road DJing. So, Kirsty's got the Alexandra Limp.

Dave, what are you... Where are you going? It's going to be rifting for me. Rifting for Dave. Going for rifting, please. And Al? Pants, then. Pants. Trouser, then.

Trouser, then. Why are you choosing your own one? I wrote ear garden. We know you did. And people smush a bunch of wet leaves in their ears. Clump. Alright, well let's go through

who wrote the answers. Front torso glue cast. That was ATB. Was that based on the childhood fad of gluing your hand and then peeling it off? Yeah, maybe I even put it in the definition. That was...

I know. How'd you connect that and be there? But did you do that as a kid? I mean, everybody loves it. PVC glue, was it? What a joy. Just school paste or whatever. I don't know.

You could do a clag even. Clag, man. Wow. I'm not sure if it's clag, but it was in a bottle still. It wasn't like- It wasn't like floating in the air. I wasn't on the International Spice Station. Being pumped out of a nurse gun.

But isn't Clagg one that you can just make at home with flour and stuff? I think so, yeah. This one was really like- It was the edible one, Clagg. It was snow white, this one. Clagg was the edible one it was snow white this one oh clag was the delicious one if I remember correctly I haven't gone quite

in those sort of strong terms edible you say delicious you get that little brush stuck in your eye it's essentially a bechamel

right it is it absolutely is I've munched a bit of clag in my day so we had ear gardens that was the house

oh what are the chances outrageous the toupee poodle that Gardens, that was the house. What are the chances? Outrageous. The toupee poodle, that was Anthony Morgan, a.k.a. the house. The toupee poodle. The toupee poodle is so funny. Can I give you the wording? He messaged me that one separately.

I think he's just like, use this as a fake answer for something is how I sort of interpreted it. Maybe it was a message meant for someone else. But sorry, that was supposed to go to my lawyer. My Adidas therapist. He's sending it to the copyright office. Toupe Poodle. It's going to be big.

It's going to be big. He said, I can't stop these thoughts from coming, but at least there's outlets for a few of them now. Toupe Poodle, popular among bald men in Paris. I had to repurpose it for London, and I hope that didn't ruin it for you, Anthony. No, no, that still worked for me anyway. I reckon substituting it for a different city is fine.

Just the idea that he's having these thoughts at home and going, oh, where do I put this? I'm in rural Tasmania. I don't have an ability to use this publicly. Does it feel good knowing that you're providing an outlet for people like Anthony that are just absolutely crumbling under the weight of their own minds? But the toupee poodle is so good. I think that if I was starting a high school band now to support skateboard and weed and Weed Hornet,

obviously with interstitial music from DJ Dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Toupe Poodle's my band name. I also think just the idea of a bald man getting a dog that has a certain kind of hair that somehow almost makes him feel like he has hair. Yeah. I think that idea very much is very funny.

It's good, isn't it? So they're the two house ones that none of you picked. Trouser din, which Alistair went for. That was Dave Warnicke. What's the din there? Can you show us your working? I thought I had to do something with trouser, and I'm like, you can't say pants,

because English people are like, pants? You're talking about underpants? Yeah. All right, mate. But I was like, I don't know, trouser. I thought it was going to be originally trouser i was like i don't know trouser i thought it was going to be originally trouser do that i tried to change it to trouser because i was reading i was reading it as like i'm almost locked in trousers you know i'm trousered in and that's what i meant yeah you were thinking more of like a pantaloon prison

you're right I'm so sorry. Trousered in. I'm trousered in. Call the police. I'm trousered in. That's why I'm wearing shorts today. I'm sick of being trousered in. That's how good Al is. He's punched yours up. Yeah.

Thank you so much. I was thinking, sorry, I'm going to add to yours now, a knickerbocker paddy wagon. Sorry. That was nothing. Didn't quite work. What you're doing right now is rifting. Rifting. Which Dave went for. That was Kirstie. Good one. Thank you, mate right now is rifting. Rifting. Which Dave went for.

That was Kirstie. Good one. Thank you, mate. And good name too, rifting. It's cool, isn't it? It was a good name. Thanks, mate. And that means Kirstie was also correct.

The Alexandra Limp was a real craze that went around. That's a good thing. The young women of London started, and it just happened, like heaps of them just started limping down the streets. So after two rounds, it is Al and the house on zero points. Dave on two points, but increasing the lead to four points. It's Kirstie Wiebeck. Wow, it's been a perfect game for you so far.

It's going to be Kirstie Winbeck. It's going to be bloody hell. That's what they call me. All right, question number three comes from a bunch of people. This was written by Emmy White from Albuquerque, New Mexico, as well as Georgia DeBiriat from Hampshire in England. Monique Lucas from Canberra in the ACT. Do you know where that is?

I do. It's near where I grew up. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, right near it. My auntie lived there when I was growing up. Are you familiar with the Lucas clan? Yeah, yeah, the Lucases of Canberra, yeah. I know them well.

In fact, that's my auntie. What's that? Canberra in Canberra. Canberra in Canberra. Is that Southside? Yeah, it's like in between Western Creek and Tuggeranong. On the way to Tuggeranong. If you want to go out to the Hyper D.

Which I think is called something different. Yeah, you used to have to go through Tuggeranong to get back to Bega, get back to Tarpon. Yeah, this guy knows about Canberra. I met ATB in Canberra. This is why I'm so mean to him. Right, you go way back. We go way back. We go wee back to Canberra.

We go all the way back. We go wee back. All the way back. The question was also written by Becca Buck from Park Ridge in Queensland and Gillian Plant from Toowoomba. What are they getting together with a focus group to write these questions now? They send it through over a couple of months. I think it may be it was one of those ones that got shared around a bit online.

And a lot of people said that's a who knew it question. And they were right, I reckon. And the question is, which of these is the name of a real species of sea creature? Which of these is the name of a real species of sea creature. Which of these is the name of a real species of sea creature? So just something that lives in the sea. Sometimes we usually do fish, but this is broader than fish. This could be any sea-based animal or creature. Well, I'm going to do mermaid, so if you leave that one alone,

that would be great. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about the Alexandra Limp. According to the BBC, Alexandra of Denmark was the bride of the Prince of Wales and also a 19th century fashion icon. The clothes she wore were copied.

The chokers she wore to conceal a scar on her neck were copied. And when a bout of rheumatic fever left her with a pronounced limp, well, that was copied too. In the hotspots of Britain, toadying women began clumping about in a style that suggested they'd recently stood barefoot on discarded Lego. At first, it was a DIY affair. Women would simply grab odd shoes to help them totter effectively, but canny shopkeepers soon realized there was a pretty penny to be made from what otherwise would have been the retail's most unshiftable line, wildly mismatched footwear,

with one high heel and one low. Of the trend, the Dundee Courier and Argus wrote, quote, Some remarkably foolish things have been done in imitation of royalty, but this is an act which involves a spice of wickedness as well as of folly. There must be a line at which even fashionable folly may be expected to stop short, at the caricaturing of human infirmity. And then, as the way of these things, fashion moved on. The game was probably already up by the time a racehorse was given the deeply unpromising name of Alexandra Limp. The Western Daily Press reported,

a fashion journal announces that the Alexandra Limp is to be discontinued forthwith. The article finishes with this sentence about the following trend. The skirt of the season, we are informed, is to cling closely around the feet. In consequence, whereof ladies will be obliged to walk as if their feet were tied together. All right, the answer in for question number three. Here it is.

Which of these is the name of a species of sea creature? Spangled tooth rambler, tasseled wobble gong shark, globulous fish, the baked bean turtle, the gargantuan reef creeper, or the rheumatoid arthritis ocean frog? Spangled tooth rambler, tasseled wobble gong

shark, globulous fish, baked bean turtle, gargantuan reef creeper, rheumatoid arthritis ocean frog. You sound like you've lost your mind Great vocal warm up Appreciate Me me my mo

Spangled Tooth Rambler Tasseled Wobby Gong Shark Globulous Fish What's the Wobby Gong one? Tasseled Wobby Gong Shark Let's see Who hasn't gone first? Dave you haven't gone first What's the second lastbegong one? Tasseled Wobbegong shark. Let's see. Who hasn't gone first? Dave, you haven't gone first.

What's the second last one? Gargantuan. Gargantuan reef creeper. I'm going to go with that one, please. I want to do the clumpy deep sea dweller. The yucky clumpy deep sea dweller. You've yelled out. You've thrown yourself away yet again, man.

Mushy leaf the mushy leaf cock snail cock snail oh no don't worry the first one I sent to Matt was dick sucking snail

and I said don't don't do that one oh my gosh sorry um it's not just

having him on as a podcast guest is it it's like trying to teach him to be a decent human you got it that's why just having him on as a podcast guest, is it? It's like trying to teach him to be a decent human. That's why we have him on. That's why I come on so much at the moment. Thanks, Dave and Matt, for mentoring him. He's coming along nicely.

After this, they're going to help you learn how to do the dishes right after and finish eating. I used to live with Al and he makes fun of me because when we lived together and I still do, I'd cook my dinner and then wash the dishes straight after like before eating the dinner like a mental head

oh hang on, sorry, I was on your side for a second so you made spaghetti bolognese the pasta's sitting there hot, but before you get to it you start washing up I just wash the pots and pans pretty quick. Nah, I support that. I reckon I do that too. The stuff I'm not using anymore.

Yeah. Clean as you go, but if the meal's done, you stop what you're doing. You eat the meal. Then you've got to, you know, all the sauce is drying on the pan. Oh, you put a bit of water in there. Then leave it on the stove. You leave all the pasta in the pot. And then you wait until about 11.30 at night. And then you go, oh, fuck, I leave it on the stove. You leave it, you leave all the pasta in the pot and then you wait until about 1130 at

night and then you go, oh fuck, I haven't put that away. Yeah. And then you go, where's the container? And you open up the Tupperware container and you can't match a lid with a, with a bottom thing. It's a good system. Fuck me. And you just grab a plate and you put it on top of the pot and you just put the whole

thing in the fridge. Got to find the lid. Yeah. Love that. All right. So we've got Spangled Tooth Rambler. I'll go the Wobbegong. Tasseled Wobbegong for Al.

Dave's gone the Gargantuan Reef Creeper. And what are you thinking, Kirstie? Dave is a Gargantuan Reef Creeper. I always go with the answer that you identify with. I want to go for the Tasseled wobby gong as well. All right. Tasseled wobby gong for Kirstie. That feels good for me.

Yeah. We're going to win. Bloody hell, you're on the board. Here's who wrote the answers. The rheumatoid arthritis ocean frog. That was Alistair Tremblay-Virtual. Gee, you never would have known. The spangled tooth rambler.

I merged, because so many people wrote this question, You never would have known. The Spangled Tooth Rambler. I merged, because so many people wrote this question, I merged a few of their suggested answers together. That was Becker and Gillian's answers merged together, aka The House. Beautiful. The Baked Bean Turtle. That was Dave Warnicke.

That was really good. I almost picked that. Really? Really? What? What is wrong with you? The Baked Bean Turtle. Because there's got to be a reason people are writing in, right? That was my theory.

It's like, it's got to be something that's so funny, like so silly sounding. Yeah. Four separate people saw it in like the news or something and went, I've got to put that in. Yeah. One of the first episodes we did, maybe it was a Patreon episode before we even started the show publicly,

was the fried egg fish. Yes. And it just looks like a fried egg. Like a floating fried egg. It's amazing. That's cool. The globulous fish, that was Kirstie. Kirstie also gave us a quick description which says,

a fish found in the deep sea, identifiable by its round semi-translucent head and translucent. Yeah, look, I didn't know we didn't have to do a definition. You wanted extra credit. We get it, man. Yeah, what a nerd. Like, I've really know we didn't have to do a definition. You wanted extra credit. We get it, mate. Yeah, what a nerd. Like, I've really gone above and beyond. I've actually also created a diorama of its habitat.

Oh, yeah. Here's a diagram of its evolution. I've got a 10-minute presentation I'll do at the end of the episode. The gargantuan reef creeper, which Dave went for, that was Georgia and Monique, aka The House. It's a good one. It's a good one. It is a good one.

It's really good. Meaning the correct answer was tasseled wobby gong shark. Ding, ding, ding. And you've got to have a look at it. It is a wild looking thing. Look it up. But that means another point for Kirsty, point for Al, and a point for The House.

So Al and The House are on the board. Holy moly. As long as I'm keeping up with the house. Yeah. You got to be keeping up with the house. No, you got to keep up with the house, mate. But have a look at this thing. Oh, wow.

Isn't it? Yeah, it's like dangling fractals coming off of it. I love it. The one with the wide mouth. Yes. I want to sit on it. Does it? No, mate.

This one is so good. Stuffed in your house. want to sit on it. Does it? No, mate. This one is so good. Stuffed in your house. Don't sit on it. That's the one that went a bit viral. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, those are messed up. Those are.

Wow. That's cool as. That's like a carpet that eats you. It looks like Jim Henson created it. Matt's showing us a photo from LinkedIn, apparently. How is that on LinkedIn? Well, it needs a job, mate. It needs a job.

Please hire me. I could work in the aquarium. I could be the face of the organisation. I'd definitely have it as a logo for my business. I've got basic bookkeeping skills. Used to work in Audi. I could scan 76 items a minute if you need any comedy writing that'd be great you you do atb that was a great example of the kind of things you can come up with that that'd be great can the wabi gong help atb out with talking i don't know but it's just that

thing where like you're like you know, like comedy writing, you're like, oh yeah, I'm developing a skill. And then as soon as you need like any kind of work that would be outside of comedy, you're like, oh my God, this, nobody wants this. Nobody could possibly. It's so niche. You go, and then to type like that as a skill somewhere and just be like, would anybody want this?

Would be so embarrassing. So, you know, picturing. Applying for a job at the accounting firm. I will make your comms so funny. I'm going to. We don't want that. If you would like any little skits, I can help. Yeah, we don't want skits.

No. We all got into this to get away from skits. All right, so we're up to question number four, which comes from Amy Moretti from Cumbernauld. Did you do the scores? Oh, do you want to? Jeez, yeah, okay. I don't know.

I don't do scores every round, but I can. No, forget it. Mate, forget about it. On one point, it's ATB. On one point, it's the house. On two points, it's Dave. But way out in front. It's weird that you wanted me to bring it up. It's Kirsty Way back on five points.

Oh, my God, I'm so so embarrassed can you stop bringing it up this is so embarrassing matt oh my god can you stop doing the scores every round please no you're right it's genuinely embarrassing me all right so question number four comes from amy moretti from cumbernauld and the question is what was the hobgan test? What was the Hobgan test? While you're writing your answers there's a little bit more info on the tasseled wobby gong shark. According to Georgia the tasseled wobby gong shark or tasseled wobby for short is an extremely aggressive carpet shark with a well-fringed nose and shaggy beard. They lure fish in by wiggling their tail, strike and clamp with powerful jaws,

and can dislocate their jaws for bigger prey. According to Becker, using its powerful jaws and needle-like teeth, the tasseled wobby gong eats all sorts of reef fishes and occasionally other sharks. Recently, the tasseled wobby gong gained some international fame when a scientist photographed an individual eating a brown-banded bamboo shark that was a full 80% of its size. After 30 minutes of observation by that scientist, the tasseled wobby gong had still not ingested the brown banded bamboo shark past the head. Pretty full on thing to picture. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back and the answers are in for question number four what was the hobgan test

an early pregnancy test where urine would be injected into a frog to see if someone was pregnant a pupil function test administered with a needle prick to the buttock a blood test to measure the amount of hemoglobin a person has the common name of the fifth ashes test in 1974 named after english cricketer ken hobgan who received a lifetime ban after doing a nude lap of honor after getting sloshed while fielding on the final day sloshed a test of 12 top athletes to determine the fastest speed a treadmill can safely reach or a test that judged how frugal someone was based on whether they would change their drink order once they realised the bar tab was exhausted. That's a good one.

The Hobgen test. Yeah, just a couple of espresso martinis, thanks. Oh, the bar tab's out. Oh, two Carlton's. Two Carlton's. That's great. Pregnancy test, frog with the frog. Pupil function test with the buttock.

Blood test about hemoglobin. Cricketer Ken Hopkins' final test match. 12 athletes testing out the treadmill or the bar tab being exhausted. Can you please read the buttock one out in its entirety? A pupil function test administered with a needle pricked to the buttock. A pupil function test? Like eyeball pupil as opposed to student. How much are you studying?

I'm going to give you a needle prick to the bum It is a now defunct test. to see how hard you're studying. Alright kids, the headmaster wants to see you. He's got his sewing kit. All right, kids, the headmaster wants to see you. He's got his sewing kit.

He's got his sewing kit. I reckon we'll go back to you, Al, to kick us off here. I'm going to go with the cricket one. Cricket one. Gee, that was elaborate. Ken'm going to go with the cricket one. Cricket one. Gee, that was elaborate. Ken, Hobkin. All right, for Al. What do you think, Dave?

So the question is, what is the Hobkin test? What was the Hobkin test? Hmm. Could it be the cricket one? It's the only non-scientific test, isn't it? I mean, the others. Some of them are pretty dubious. Stabbing someone's butt. And is the idea that you'll see how much their pupil enlarges?

Ah! Yeah. Some of them are pretty dubious, stabbing someone's butt. And there's the idea that you'll see how much their pupil enlarges. Ah! Yeah. We can also see like an early pregnancy test. Like that's how they develop. Like, you know, who knows what they're made from now. Is it something that was secreted by a frog or something? Why inject it in the frog? Why not just piss into the frog's mouth?

Yeah, cut out the middle syringe. Yeah, why not dunk the frog in the cup of urine? Exactly. Just make the frogs live in the toilet. Why not just put a frog in your urethra? Get a frog up your... Have a go at that. Just get a tadpole in there and piss it out.

Yeah. That's what sex ed class should be. Pissing out the tadpole. Everyone gets a tadpole. You know, on the night before the test, you put a little frog egg in there. And then in the morning, you piss out the tadpole. And then whatever colour it is, if it's blue. If it's got two lines.

It's also a gender reveal. That was actually a much better test, but the bloody animal rights activists got involved. They used to come out and say their hair colour and their first name. Yeah, and there was a bacteria on the frog that would actually lead to death of the mother, but, you know. But by George, that test was accurate. Accurate.

So we've had Al's answer. We were waiting for Dave. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. One more time for a quick summary of them all. Pregnancy test, pupil function test, blood test, fifth ashes test, treadmill test or frugal test. It is, again, all better judgment. I'm going to say the butt one.

Butt one? Great. You know, with this show, sometimes it is the most ridiculous ones that are true. Yeah. And I don't think that is the most ridiculous one in this list. Okay. That leaves you, Kirsty Webeck. This one's hard.

This one's really hard. Got the wobby gong. Got a feeling for that wobby gong. I forgot about that. Is it possible to defer to an answer from a previous round? Another correct answer? I'm going to let it ride on wobby gongs. None of these feel right.

You're on a hot streak at the craps table? Let it ride. I'm going to say rifting. My own made-up answer from a previous round. You can lock it in, Kirsty. Am I okay? Correct. I'm going to go with a treadmill.

Treadmill locked in. Oh, no, I'm not. Why? Oh, because Muttley laughed at me for doing it. Oh, because Muttley laughed at me for doing it. Oh, no. No, I just had forgotten about the- No, you're lying now. Oh, no.

Anyway, sorry, Matt. Lock it in. Fine. Whatever. All right. I'm being bullied as well. I'm being bullied and harassed by Muttley. Finally, he's fighting back.

That is so funny for you at this point to call bullying on out. Isn't it good? Like after literal years of torment, he laughs at me locking in an answer and I'm like, oh, I'm sick of this sustained abuse. How dare you? Dear Melbourne Comedy Room, stop. And also a lot of it's taken place on podcasts and stuff, so there's a lot of documentation of my harassment of ATB.

Anyway, today it stops here, ATB. Stop treating me like this. All right. Let's go through the answers. Tested judge how frugal someone was based on the bar tab. That was the house. That's great stuff. That's good stuff.

That's really good. Blood test to measure the amount of hemoglobin a person has. That was Kirstie Wiebeck. No one gave it a look in. Livid. Mate, you know when you hear the word hemoglobin, we're not playing aroundirsty wiebeck no one gave it a look in livid but you know when you hear the word hemoglobin we're not playing around i need to ask you a question did you google how to spell hemoglobin because that's if you can spell that you're incredible no i'm

a spelling nerd i didn't google it on you on you also however you spelt it i would have you know yeah the more phonetic you spell it yeah the better. Like it's H-triple-E, isn't it? Hey, McLaughlin. Hey. A test of the top 12 athletes about the treadmills, which Kirstie went for. That was Dave Warnke. Oh, guilty.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, Muttley, you nearly ruined my point there. She was about to withdraw. I know. I was like, oh, she might move on to mine. How dare you, Martley. Common name for the fifth Ashes test, which Al went for.

That was the house. Oh, no. Ken Hopkins. Thank goodness. Is that a cricketer? No, I don't think so. Imagine I'd accent. Oh, yeah, Ken Hopkins did the nude run.

Then we had Dave went for a pupil function test, the needle prick to the buttock. That was Alistair Trombeau virtual. What do you think that was going to find out, that test? Oh, just if the pupils still work. You know how you hit the knee to see if your reflexes are working? That seems pointless. And he just pricked the buttock.

Oh, yeah, pupils are open. That was before they had torches. I was thinking it was some sort of insane English doctor from a couple hundred years ago that's like, I've got a theory this could be valuable. I don't know why, but let me stab you. I didn't know it was Hopkin for ages. I thought it was Hobgen.

Oh, it is Hobgen. Oh. I've probably been saying it different every time. Oh, okay. Sorry, it is Hobgen. Hobgen. How do you spell it, please? H-O-B-G-E-N.

Yeah. Hobgen. That's exactly what I thought it was. I was going to say, does that make you want to change your answer? Yeah. Can I lock in the winning answer, please, now, Matt? Which is an early pregnancy test where urine would be injected into a frog. What? Wow.

Yes. Why didn't they just piss on the frog? So that means one point to Al, one point to the house, one point to Dave. Quick score check. I know Kirsty wants one. No, I couldn't. I couldn't hear it. ATB in the house on two points, Dave on three points,

but still out in front on five points. It's Kirsty Webeck. Oh, how humiliating. We're hunting you down, Kirsty. We're up to question number five. How many are there? Seven. Are there?

Yes. Are there? Oh, my goodness. All right. I'm going to cancel my gig tonight. I'm going to cancel my gig tonight. I'm going to cancel my gig tomorrow. I've got somewhere to be in five hours. I'm going to cancel going to Canada in five months.

If you guys could turn down the riff. Sorry, you're right. We've been rifting too much. Rifting. That's good stuff. Sorry. I got on delay. Good stuff.

This is why we're late. Yeah. Real practical joker in the corner. All right. Question number five comes from Dennis Austin from Hamilton in Canada, Brian Nichols from Melbourne, and Tim Livingston from Kamloops in British Columbia. Wow.

The question is, Canada has its own Loch Ness monster, sometimes described as green with a snake-like body about 25 metres long. Some say its head looks like a horse, while others say it's reptilian or goat-like. What is the name of this creature? So basically, what is the name of Canada's Loch Ness Monster? And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the Hobgen test. According to Ed Yong, the African clawed frog is a palm-sized greenish-gay animal that hails from the ponds and rivers of sub-Saharan Africa, where it lived for millions of years without anyone injecting it with urine.

That unbroken streak changed in the 1930s thanks to a British scientist with a fantastic name of Lancelot Hobgen. Hogben. Oh, my God. Have I got it wrong the whole time? Hobgen or Hogben? Is it Hogben? Oh, no. That doesn't... Yeah. Oh, time? Hopkin or Hogben? Is it Hogben? Oh, no, that doesn't... Yeah.

Oh, my God, it's Hogben. I've been saying Hopkin the whole time it was Hogben. Sorry, everybody. Lancelot Hogben. In 1930, Hogben injected the frog with extracts from an ox's pituitary gland, a pea-sized hormone factory at the base of the brain. In response, the frog started laying eggs. This accidental finding was a fortuitous one. At the time, scientists knew that the urine of pregnant women contained

hormones that were made in the pituitary gland and that affected the development of ovaries. If those same hormones could trigger egg laying in the frogs, perhaps it could also act as a living pregnancy test. And so it was that tens of thousands of frogs were infused with human urine between the 40s and 60s. The Hogben test was simple. Inject the urine fresh and untreated under the skin of the female frogs, then wait. If there was a pregnancy between five and 12 hours later, the frog will produce a cluster

of millimeter-sized black and white spheres. The results were reliable. One researcher reported that after injecting 150 frogs, he never got any false positives and only missed three actual pregnancies and as one doctor wrote to hogburn's colleagues thank you for your report on the pregnancy test on mrs x you may be interested to know that of one gp of many years standing one specialist gynecologist and one frog, only the frog was correct. Wow. Wow.

I can't believe it was until the 60s. They were injecting frogs with urine to find out. And so is it just one frog per test? Yeah, one frog per test. It's so grim. It was the same frog. Same frog. It was just one special frog.

Did it die or could you release it back in the wild? No, it would get released and then it would get re-caught. Oh, yeah. The same frog again. They tagged it. They'd re-catch it. Oh, sorry. We got a test.

Sorry. He was fine as long as he went home for a bit and then came back and he was like back on the floor. Yeah. They're like, we are so sorry, but someone else has skipped a period. He said, all right, fill me with piss. He was actually really good about it. Yeah, fair enough.

Nah, that could be a stressful time. All right. The answers are in for question number five. What is the name of Canada's answer to the Loch Ness Monster? Orcapinga? Snoopadoodle? The Drake Snake, the Saski Bootlegger,

Ogopogo, or Snippaloo Tootoo Vagreena? Whoa. Orca Pinger, Snooper Doodle, the Drake Snake, the Saski Bootlegger, Ogopogo, or Snippaloo Tootoo Vagreena?

Now, do they say it in Canada with an Australian accent like that? But yeah, can you help us out here? Also, we've got Orcapinga. Orcapinga. Snoopadoodle. Snoopadoodle. The Drake Snake. The Drake Snake.

The Saski Bootlegger. The Saski Bootlegger. Ogopogo. Ogopogo. Or Snippaloo-too-too-vigrina. Snippaloo-too-too-vigrina. Ah, vigrina. Ogo Pogo. Or Snippaloo Tootoo Vagrina. Snippaloo Tootoo Vagrina. Ah, Vagrina. That was the one that changed the most. That changes everything.

Which makes me think you wrote that one. Why? How do you know it's Griner and not Greener? I don't know. I just tried to copy him. How interesting. Vagrina. Vagrina. How interesting. I want to test this. Now, ATB, say vagina.

Vagina? I'm sorry, I don't know. I knew it. I'm not familiar with this. You're up first this time, Kirsty. What are you thinking? Snoopalo. Snoopalo, tutu, vagrina.

Or vagrana. Sorry, vagrana. Ogopogo, Saski bootlegger drake snake snooper doodle orca pinga oh wow um or number seven clumpy Oh, wow. Number seven, clumpy. There are some that I can immediately rule out. Okay. What are you ruling out immediately?

I'm ruling out the green agrana one. Okay. Snippaloo tutu for grana. Yeah, that's ATVs. Snoopy dooper. Snoopy doodle. That's so good though. Snoopy doodle.

Snoopy doodle. Snoopy doodle. We had a sighting today of Snoopy doodle down at the lake. Oh my God, is that Snoopy doodle? You couldn't be scared of Snoopy doodle. Snoopy doodle. No one's saying it's scary. I'm leaning towards one of the O1s,

and that's because when I think of Canada, I think of Ontario. The rest of the place doesn't exist. What are the O1s? Okapinga and Okopogo. Oh, yeah, okay. Okapinga, Okopogo. On okay okapinga okopogo onkaparinga is there anything in there just a quick reminder that kirsty's the one who's complaining about the show taking too long lock in shush oh my god now i'm upset now i'm trying to choose something while being bullied and upset by the way by'm upset. By the way, it's Ontario.

You think upsetting me is going to speed me up? Oh my god, now I'm crying and trying to get my answer out. I go pogo. I go pogo for Kirsty. Oh, come on. He's laughing at me again. Al, you've been told.

You've been told. I can't believe you picked Dave Warnock. You've been told to stop laughing on this show, Al. No more laughing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Who wants to go next? Al, you want to go? Yeah, go, Al.

I know you're wrong, you loser. Let's make Dave go. Yeah. I'm not a loser. Oh, now I'm being bullied's make Dave go. Yeah. I'm not a loser. Oh, now I'm being bullied into going. Okay. Orca Pinger, Snoopadoodle, Drake Snake, Saski Bootslegger, Okapogo, Snippaloo, Tutu the Greener.

Drake Snake. I'm going to lock in Orca Pinger. Orca Pinger for Dave. Drake Snake. What a missed opportunity. No, sir. No, I respect you, I respect you. I respect you.

Drake Snake sounds like a nickname for a mullet. Oh. The Ape Drape is a mullet nickname as well. Is it? The Ape Drape. I got another song by the Vandals or Gutta Vandals, I think. The Vandals. Is that right? I don't know.

The Vandals. They were on the walk tour, weren't they? Oh, they would have been on the walk tour. Oh, mate. That was well before myals. Sorry? I don't know. The Vandals. They were on the walk tour, weren't they? Oh, they would have been on the walk tour. Oh, mate. That was well before my time. No? I don't know what you're talking about. The Vandals tour.

This was before you were a BMXer. Yeah. An extreme sports artist. Artist. That's before I was even the piss in a frog. They did a new version of a glimmer in my mother's eye. Yeah, piss in a frog. So this is a new version of a glimmer in my mother's eye. Yeah, piss in a frog. I like it.

I was still the piss in my daddy's tadpole. I don't know. Ogopogo. Ogopogo for Al. All right, you both. You lose. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Snippaloo, tutu, vagreena or vagrena.

That was ATB. Oh, was it? Yeah. You would never have known. It was a good idea to try to change the pronunciation. And I love that you made it up, but there's a pronunciation that has to be adhered to. Incredible.

Sasky bootlegger. That was Dave Warnicke. That's me. That sounds like you it sounds like saskatchewan yeah yeah i thought that was a little canadian uh tribute uh al you just threw it back in my face you know i just i thought it was probably uh an indigenous word maybe so i thought it couldn't be a bootlegger or sassy or whatever like that even though saskatchewan is probably an indigenous word as well. Snoopadoodle. Have you just cancelled Dave? I can't believe it came to this. The Sasky Bootlegger.

I mean, I can't imagine that the word that I came up with is in any way complimentary to any people. The Snoopadoodle. That was Brian. Okay, The House. It's very good. It's great. Brian Colella.

It wasn't Brian Colella. It was Brian Nichols. Oh, Nichols. The Drake Snake, that was The House. I was thinking Drake the Singer. Yeah, no, of course, Montreal. Yeah. Oh, that's right.

You better believe I Googled Canadian celebrities. Yeah. Or Kapinga. The long Jim Carrey. Yeah. Yes, Jim was there. Lannis Morris. Celine Dion. Snake. The Celine Dion one? Oh, yeah. Yes, Jim was out last. Morris.

Celine Dion. Snake. The Celine Dion one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, the clumpy Celine Dion. The Brian Adams monster. Orca Pingo, which Dave went for.

That was Kirstie. She played you like a fiddle because the correct answer was Ogopogo. It's one of the O ones, she said. Oh, which one could it be? One of the O ones. I answer was Ogopogo. It's one of the O ones, she said. Oh, which one could it be? One of the O ones. I'll take Ogopogo. Dave, who are you going to go for? How dare you? You play the game tactically maybe better than anyone.

Mish Wittrup is right up there. Big wet as she's known on this show. She's also very good at playing the mind games like that. Yeah. Oh, which could be this one? I love that. I love that. I love it. It's a big strategy.

She had Sammy Peterson just like she had him in the palm of her hand. Amazing. Just like you've got Dave right now. I got him this way. I want him. Played him like a fiddle. Your hand feels good. I'm going to take five.

I'm going to sleep. I'm going to have a little rest. So that's two points for Kirsty And one point for I said Trumbly Birchell Can't believe it Can't believe it I'm Only

I'm way back behind Kirsty Way back behind Weebeck I mean I think everyone is Quick score check On two points I couldn't

It's the house On three points It's ATB and Dave But out in front on seven points It's Kirsty Weebeck Oh gee Gee ATB and Dave. But out in front of seven points, it's Kirstie Wiebeck. Oh, jeez. We're up to the penultimate question now. This one comes from Lauren Joyner from Chandler in Arizona in the United States.

And the question is, why was Donald Thompson in the news in November of 2014? Why was Don Thompson, Donald Thompson in the news in November of 2014? Is he Canadian? Could be. Doesn't say. While you're writing those those answers let me tell you more about the ogopogo according to dennis before european settlers came to the okanagan valley the first nations spoke of naha at it a vicious lake monster that resided at squally point 20ks south of the city in colona in 1924 a little song was composed about the lake monster who was given the name ogopogo so that's how it got its name it was like a folky sort of song in the 20s

apparently corner tim having origins in the folklore of the quep muck and say air alks peoples and ogopogo like cryptid appeared in the season three episode of the x-files called quagmire do you remember that one dave season three x-files called Quagmire. Do you remember that one, Dave? Season three, X-Files episode, Quagmire. It's in peak, peak, what is the best? It's a great season, isn't it meant to be? All right, the answer for question number six. Why was Don Thompson in the news in November of 2014? He was the photographer that took the photo of Kim Kardashian

that threatened to break the internet. He was arrested in a Minnesota park for refusing to stop brushing strangers' dogs. Brush him. I'll never stop. I hate matting. I'm going to get it out. As the CEO of McDonald's,

he told media they had created a bubblegum-flavoured broccoli to entice children to eat healthier. He legally changed his name to Flaming Hot Cheetos in order to win a year's supply of the snack. He stole a car that had the mayor's two small children in it and drove it 200 miles before leaving it on the side of the highway with the children still inside. Or Don Thompson was the name of the tiger

that nearly killed Siegfried's friend Roy. It's the name of the tiger. Siegfried's friend Roy. It's the name of the tiger It's the name of the tiger That's the second single from our new band That's fine Last week we had a question about a Weird Al Yankovic song title And that would have been perfect It's the name of the tiger.

The guilty, guilty friend, right? In Las Vegas. That's going to stick with me for a long time. That really tickled me. The sick, sick friend's friend Roy is so funny

in that song. That's so good. In such an indirect way. I'm talking about Roy.

Sick friend's friend. So indirect. Does he clarify which Roy it was? Neely killed Roy, who?

Oh sorry, seek for his friend Oh mate, I can't wait to perform that live Let's put the cat's actual name in the Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. I don't know. I forget it. Oh, my goodness. I'm crying.

All right, Dave. We're up to you for first crack here. A few of them, it did sound like you were describing just one person doing something on the same day. So I need to hear them again. So you had the photographer. Okay. Yep.

You had the guy who wouldn't stop brushing strangers' dogs. I really like that. You had the McDonald's guy who created bubblegum-flavoured broccoli. You had the guy who changed his name to Flaming Hot Cheetos

to win a year's supply of the snack. You had the car thief who sold the mayor's car. Those three ran together so it sounded like the CEO. It was just a big day. Changed his name

to Flaming Hot Cheetos and then stole the mayor's car. And it was the name of the tiger that nearly killed Siegfried. Siegfried. So, leaning anywhere in particular here, Dave? I am going to go with my heart and say the person who refused to stop brushing people's dogs.

In Minnesota. That's sick. Just being like, please stop brushing my dog. Please. Last chance. Okay. Oh, my gosh. It's already so well groomed.

I'm literally dialing the cops right now. Stop. No. We dreaded its hair on purpose. Dogs have hair? It's one of those pulley dogs with knots. It's a Rastafarian dog. Kirsty, what are you thinking?

Let's go Flaming Hot Cheetos. Flaming Hot Cheetos. I'm going for Kirsty. Dave laughed. Dave, don't laugh. No, I'm laughing about- That's theetos. I'll name it for Kirsty. Dave laughed. Dave, don't laugh. No, I'm laughing about- That's the worst. I'm laughing about Secret and Roy.

Me too. I think I'll be laughing about it for hours. So funny. I saw them once when I was a kid. Whoa. Yeah. No one was mulled that day. It was everyone, yeah.

Boo. Boo. Like monster trucks where they all just safely make it around the course do a flip do a flip that leaves you alistair yeah i was gonna say flaming hot cheetos as well which of course you can of course i can yeah but then if i've chosen it that's yeah good track record it's a really good track record detective webex on it yeah and because the feeling is that's what was suggested and then you looked for something That happened in that same year

And then One of the first things that came up Would have been You know The Kim Kardashian thing Because it gets more You know More traction

Could be that dog But you reckon The Kim Kardashian thing Was 2014? I don't remember But it was sometime In the last Yeah

11 years or so And what year did Something terrible happen to Favorite friend Yeah Well Yeah 11 years or so. And what year did something terrible happen to Siegfried and Fred? Well, yeah, that might be more than 10 years, actually. Was it Roy Orbison? No, no. No, it was Siegfried

and Roy Orbison. That's what they got to do after Roy was mauled. So what are you thinking, Al? The travelling wildcats. I'm going to say Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Flamin' Hot Cheetos for locking that in.

Here's who wrote the answers. Kim Kardashian's photographer. That was the house, and you are correct. I did Google that. It was 2014? Things that happened in 2014 or something like that. Yeah. And I was thinking there'd be more stupid fads and stuff.

I was going to be like, the guy came up with the ice bucket challenge or something. But anyway. Then we had the name of the tiger that nearly killed Siegfried's friend Roy. That was also the house. Was that 2014? No, it was 2003. I liked it too much.

Yeah. Name of the tiger. Was that 2014? No, it was 2003. Okay. I liked it too much. Yeah. Name of the tiger. And I had no idea it would have a song by the end of the episode. You've inspired a hit. And Will Dowell, he'll be tuning in after last week, I reckon. Big time. Car Thief with the Mayor's Children.

That was Casey Webeck. That's funny. Pretty good one. That was pretty good. I mean, no one touched it with a barge pole, but pretty good. Arrested in a Minnesota park for refusing to stop brushing strangers' dogs. Dave went for that. That was ATB.

That is a point well earned. Thank you. Thank you, Dave. It was technically also about clumps. It was another clump waste. Get your head out of the gutter, mate. I guess you guys have found the source code of what I think is funny. Clomping.

You love the Nutty Professor too. Legally changing his name to Flaming Hot Cheetos, which Kirstie and Alice there went for. That was Dave Warnock here. Oh, my God. So you picked each other there. No. Yes, I did it. It wouldn't be.

Meaning the correct answer was, as the CEO of McDonald's, he told media they'd created bubble gum flavoured broccoli to entice children to eat healthier. But was it true? Yeah, they did. Oh. And apparently they tested on kids and kids were like, what is this?

Apparently they were confused by it. We don't want this. Oh. So that means two points to Dave that round and one point to ATB. And we're up to the final round now. You've got to remember though this is worth triple points. It was truly anyone's

game but the scores are the house on two points Alistair Trombley-Birchall on four points. Dave on five points but still out in front on seven points. It's Kirsty Webeck. I tell you what, I feel sick. Must be so embarrassing for you. I feel sick with pressure. Because I've been excelling. Yeah, the whole time.

The whole time. Like, striding ahead. But this last stumble here and doing this would have damaged your confidence. How far off am I from the top dog here? You are. Kirsty's my name actually. Sorry, so I I from the top dog here? You are. Kirsty's my name, actually.

Sorry, so I think you changed it by depo last week. To top dog. To top dog. You're two points away from the top dog. Okay. Oh, top dog Webeck, if you will. You kept the surname. Yeah, I kept the surname.

Top dog Webeck, if you will, and I know you will. And the final question comes from Megan Seeler from Merrill in Wisconsin in the United States. And the question is, what is this? Megan, give me a clue. Megan, send me a clue. Send me a sign. Sorry, Matt, what were you saying?

Megan, or probably Megan, because she's from America. Megan's question is, what is the synopsis of the 1976 film Squirm? What is the synopsis of the 1976 film Squirm? What is the synopsis of the 1976 film Squirm? We always finish with a film synopsis question. So normally people write two, maybe three sentences, short paragraph there. I normally say short paragraph

when I got feedback from a listener. You really should specify two or three sentences because a short paragraph could be nearly anything. Especially with this pair, you've got literally 25 minutes to write this in no longer. We'll put a cap on it. While your answer's being written,

here's some more info about bubblegum broccoli. According to Amy Pitchie, writing for CBS in November of 2014, sounds like one of Willy Wonka's rejected ideas, bubblegum-flavoured broccoli. But the creation was far from fictional. It was a concoction whipped up by the fast food giant McDonald's, with chief executive Don Thompson telling attendees at a Thursday event that the motivation was to create a way to get kids to eat healthier. So why isn't your local McDonald's selling bubblegum-flavoured broccoli? Apparently, adding a sweet flavour to broccoli doesn't make it any more appetising to kids who were confused by the taste.

That's what Thompson told the audience. The test comes as the fast food chain is under pressure to create healthier options. While some consumers are shifting to rivals such as Chipotle, which promotes its use of organic and local produce. I mean, this is a 10-year out of date article. We all know that McDonald's is super healthy now. Still, McDonald's isn't giving up on tweaks to its menu. Instead of introducing

candy flavored veggies, it's focusing on tactics such as reducing the size of its fry servings and adding low fat yogurt to its happy meals. Asked about the gum flavored broccoli, McDonald's responded in an email to CBS, quote, we're always looking at new food innovations and recipes that will appeal to our customers. It didn't disclose how the gum flavour was added to the broccoli or if it's working on other approaches to making veggies more appealing to kids. Okay. Dave and ATB, you've only got... You've only got 19 minutes left.

Well, we're going to stop for a burrito break. We'll be back after these burritos. After these short burritos. Short burritos. They're called chode-ritos. Sorry. I am amazed he got chode into that. I love to murder a pun.

Chode retos. Just rolls off your tongue. Chode retos. He's done it again. They're wider than they are long. I thought it was a good idea. Sorry, Matt. Sorry for interrupting you.

That was urgent. All right. Here is the final question. What is the synopsis of the 1976 film Squirm? After his grandpa missed his birthday because he was apple picking, a wish by Ned turns his pop into a little worm where he quickly takes refuge in the family fruit bowl. Can he wriggle

his way to getting ned to forgive him and will he ever have arms to go apple picking again perhaps with ned teenager gregory scranton is a failure despite dreams of being elected the homecoming king and captain of the football team he's the most unpopular kid in school. Soon he changes tact, leaving all his old dreams behind to audition for the dance squad. At first, the other kids laugh at him and his distinctive style, but it soon catches on. All of a sudden, everyone is doing the Scranton Squirm. I hate it.

A scritten clump. New York City boy Mick makes his way to a rural Georgian town to see his girlfriend, Jerry. After meeting up with her, Mick learns that the area has recently been ravaged by intense storms and the appearance of large worms that have gone mad and developed a taste for human flesh. Is Mick to blame? Are the skeletons a hoax? And where is Mr. Beardsley? He's doing the scranton squirm. What the fuck?

He's doing the scranton squirm. A Wisconsin teenager, Dean Wisnall, is expelled for fighting another student, a fight he didn't even start. Hell-bent on revenge, Dean holds his high school teachers at gunpoint in the staff room. They've made his life hell for years, but now it's time to watch them all squirm. Landlord Wendy McCubbins has ignored the complaints of bad hygiene and unlivable conditions in her apartment block for too many years until one day she's found eaten alive by a collection of the spiders, beetles, worms, and earwigs that had infested her buildings.

This body horror film becomes a whodunit of disgusting proportions. To get to the bottom of it, gritty New York detective Nank Trigger will have to sift through clues through detritus that would make a cockroach blush. Is the name Nank? Nank. Also, aren't earwigs Australian? I feel like I remember earwigs from when I lived in Canada.

A bit defensive. I may remember. Nank is definitely a real name. I remember that fromigs from when I lived in Canada. A bit defensive. I may remember. Nank is definitely a real name. I remember that from Canada as well. Earwigs. That was a craze in London in the 1860s. We all did that because the Prince War has... Yeah, very hairy ears.

The final option. A professor moves his family to a small town to teach at the local university. A few days after their arrival, the town is overtaken by an infestation of carnivorous worms, wreaking havoc on the community and overwhelming the hospital. The professor and his colleagues must find a way to stop the worms before it's too late. Okay, so just a quick recap. We had Ned turning his pop into a worm. And then who goes into the apple, into the bowl? The worm.

The grandpa worm. Oh, okay. Great. In the family fruit bowl. And then we don't know if you'll ever have arms again to pick apples. Sorry. Dumb question. I'm going to, that's not the answer, but I'm going to fund that.

Yeah. If someone wants to flesh it out a bit, I'll fund that. You're into that one. I'll green light it right now. I'll green lit it. Then we had the kid who was a failure until he did the Scranton Squirm. I'm livid. I'm flipping tables over that one.

Then we had the New York boy, Mick, going to a Georgian town. The electrical storm comes and then large carnivorous worms go mad with a taste for human flesh. We have the kid who is expelled for fighting other shooting. He didn't even start the fight. Hell bent on revenge. He takes a gun to school and makes his teacher squirm. We have the landlord, Wendy McCubbins, who dies,

and then Nank Trigger is on the case. Nank Trigger. And there's earwigs around her which are definitely Canadian. But she dies at the hands of bugs and then he has to figure out which bug killed her. Is it the hands or the legs? The legs. Sorry, apologies.

At the thoracic section limb. It doesn't say who, but we can only assume that it's... All we know is the when, what, where. Yeah, we know that Nank's on the case. That's what we know. Or we had the professor moving to the uni town, but all of a sudden there's carnivorous worms

wreaking havoc. Wreaking havoc. That's the definition of wreaking havoc as well. Wreaking havoc. Have. So who wants to go first here? That's the definition of wreaking havoc as well. Wreaking havoc. Is it mine? Have I gone first for a while? Yeah.

Everyone's gone first twice. So we're up to the seventh now. I reckon Dave can go first. You ready to go first, Dave? Fine. I'm going to lock in Professor Worm. The final one? Final one.

Yeah. Locking that in for Dave. Professor Worm. Often with this, I do pick the film that I most want to see. Please call me Dr. Worm. Good morning. how are you? I'm interested in things. Are you familiar with the work of The Good Doctor?

Yeah, it's a tough one. I would have gone the last one too, just because it has the simplest plot. But I'm going to go the wriggle dance. The Scranton squirm. The Scranton squirm. This is your final attack on me. Yeah, I think so.

Going Scranton squirm. I think this is the only subtle way I can really attack Kirstie without verbal violence. Verbal or physical violence. Oh, that means it all comes down to you, Kirstie. Mental torment. Yeah, what are we? I think half of them are worm related at least. Yeah, three worm ones, one dance one.

One real full-on gun at the teachers. Yeah, pick the one about the kid who brings a gun to school. I hate that one. Wait, no, there's four. I think there's four worm ones because we also have the body horror one. I was going to go for the last one as well, but instead I'm going to go for this, like a last one adjacent one. Last one adjacent one.

So like second last one? Yeah, so there's another carnivorous worm one. Oh, yes. Sorry, second last one. The body horror with Nanker Trigger. No, not that one. The other ones with Mick. Isn't that the second last?

No, I said the other one with carn isn't that the second last no i said the other one with carnivorous worms oh sorry so that's where uh new york city boy mick goes to georgian town and then and the big question is where is mr beardsley so i don't want to lock that one in it's insane i'm off my face i forgot that it ended with where is Mr Beardsley? Absolutely not. Like they don't mention Mr Beardsley at all in the whole thing. And they're like, where's Mr Beardsley? Who's Mr Beardsley?

I miss Mr Beardsley. Yeah. Who is Mr Beardsley? It's Siegfried's friend, Mr Beardsley. These are the questions that come up. Goodness me. Absolutely not. Okay. Grandpa. Goodness me. Absolutely not. Okay.

Grandpa with the arms. Absolutely not. I'm not going for the Dan. None of these. These are all absolutely not ones. That's the problem. You've got to go for one that definitely seems like it's not a movie. I don't think any of these sound like a movie, do they?

Apart from probably a couple of them. You should pick one of those. What's the second last one? I'm so sorry. Second last one is the one where the landlord is eaten by earwigs. Oh, yeah. That's Nank Trigger. No, I hate that

one. What about the Wisconsin teenager Dean Wisenall expelled for fighting another student, ends up bringing him to school? No. Then you have Scranton Squirm. No. You hate them all each more than the third year. The worm grandpa who lives in the fruit bowl. Oh my

God. Okay. Worm grandpa. I know it's not it, but worm grandpa. But will he ever pick fruit again? Oh my God. Like I'm getting a headache from the fact I've locked that in. Like I feel sick.

And you changed it because you didn't like Mr Beardsley. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm going to faint. I know I've made a terrible mistake. Somebody get the smelling salts. In my mind, they're all now just one big terrible movie. They are. We've greenlit here today.

We've greenlit all of them. We're all funding them as well. So, dig deep. Dig deep, Dave. Dig deep, everyone. All right. Here's greenlit here today. We've greenlit all of them. We're all funding them as well. So dig deep. Dig deep, Dave. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Wisconsin teenager Dean Wisenall, who's expelled, ends up bringing a gun to school to make his teachers squirm. That was Dave Warnicky.

That was me. Wow. You're very dark-minded. I knew I wanted to finish with, it's time to watch them squirm. You are a flaming hot cheetah. Landlord Wendy McCubbins, ignoring the complaints, ends up having Nank Trigger on her case. That was a collaboration between Megan and I.

Who came up with Nank Trigger? That was Megan. That was Megan had Nank Trigger. I came up with Wendy McCubbins. I think together that balances out to a beautiful couple of protagonists, antagonists or whatever. Yeah, I love that. It turned my stomach.

But Megan's a, well, it's a body horror. And Megan's an American who's earwigs, so, you know. All right. Okay. Well, she's been to Canada then. I reckon Al wrote that one then. Definitely Al. The Scranton Squirm, which Al went for.

That was also Megan in the house. We combined there. Awful. I can't believe it. Her original, I changed the name from, hers was way darker. It was a horror and I turned it into a stupid thing. But I'm like, hers was another worm one.

I'm like, we can't have all worm answers. And you, like, so it was a horror thing, but I'm like, hers was another worm one. I'm like, we can't have all worm answers. And you, like, say it was a horror that you, like... Actually, all I left in there was she had it, he was the homecoming king and the captain of the football team, and I changed it, he wanted that. So, really, most of what's wrong with it, I did. Including the Scranton Scrimm? Especially the Scranton Scrimm.

I want you and Megan to never collaborate together again. That's dark, the dark arts. So that's a point for the house there. Kirstie went for the grandpa who becomes a worm in the fruit bowl. That was our search on by Virgil. The final assault. The final assault by ATB. So three points for Al there.

Dave went for the professor who Moves to a Small Town and The Carnivorous Worms Get About. That was Kirstie Weebert. Oh, my God. That's the best movie. That's the best movie. The answer is Where Is Mr. Beardsley? What?

Fuck off. I'm livid. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I think Megan might have gone off piste a bit. I think she might have written it in her own terms after watching it. And maybe. Oh, so that's not from like a film website? It might be, maybe.

Where is Mr Beardsley? What? Where is Mick Dabone? But all jokes aside, where is he? We're all worried about you, Mr Beardsley. If you're listening, Mr Beardsley, can you please contact the pod? We're worried about you. We're worried sick.

We're not angry. We're just worried. We're just worried. We won't judge you. Just quickly, the critics did not like this film. 27% on Rotten Tomatoes. The audience also didn't like it, 27%. A film review by writer Felix Vasquez Jr. reads,

when Squirm isn't silly, it's boring, which is brutal. Yeah. But a user review who did like it on Rotten Tomatoes, a bit more positive, saying, OMG, what an absolute classic. You will never look at worms the same way again. The boat scene is nasty. Apparently they use thousands of real worms as well. Sick.

All right, final score check. In equal third place on five points, it's Dave in the House. Thank you. In second place on seven points, it's Alistair Tremblay-Birchall. Wait, wait, wait. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But streaking out to a lead, hitting double figures on ten points, it's Kirstie Wee back.

I can't believe it. Thank you so much. Do you know what I'm most excited about? ATB told me the prize for the winner was a Chode Reto. Al, are you going to present the award? Well, I have a little song for you. It's the name of the tiger that sick freeze friends roll in. Where can people find you, Kirsten?

You've got a brand new podcast that's doing great things on the interline. It is on the interline. It's on the interline. It's called You'll Never Believe This But. It's all about people's unbelievable stories so we get a lot of listener submissions in about just stories that they have that maybe they've told people, maybe they haven't, but they

just know that they're unbelievable anyway. Have a listen to it. You'll Never Believe This But. Any worm related stories yet? Not yet, but I reckon they're going to come in thick and fast from this crew that listen to you. I've got quite a few listeners from you already. Oh, I love it. So thank you.

Thank you so much for that. And thanks for getting around it, Legends. But, yeah, you'll never believe this, but it's me and my good friend, Cal Wilson, who's a wonderful comedian. Get it wherever you get your pods. And also, if you've got an unbelievable story for us, send it in to myunbelievablestory at gmail.com, and we might feature it on the podcast.

So good. Cheers, Kirstie feature it on the podcast. So good. Cheers, Kirstie. Congratulations on the win. Thanks, mate. Alistair, where can people find you? Oh, mate, just the normal spots. Find me on X, AlistairTB. You're the only one who's gone all in on calling it X.

Oh, mate, when I go there, I go www.x.com. I know I only have to put in T if I want to get it. Anyway, forget it. dot com I know I only have to put in T if I want to get it anyway so you can find me on Instagram at atromblayvirtual and you can listen to the Two in the Think Tank podcast and you can listen to Shusher Guided Meditations if you want to yeah a sleep help podcast

also on October 7th me and Andy are doing the 400th episode of Two in the Think Tank a live stream is that a live stream at stupid old studios and i hope that everybody here at some point can make it uh you know and ruin their lives while we ruin ours if kirsty you thought this podcast went on for too long yeah this one might go for 24 hours as we try to come up with 400 sketch ideas so exciting and dave what about you uh my book cheat podcast is back with a new season

covering new classics where I've read it, so you don't have to. All three of you have been on many times. Recent episode with Luke Heggy and Chris Ryan. That's right. I did Goodbye, Mr. Chips. What is it? Is that about a monkey?

No, it's about a sad old teacher. It goes to Hollywood, right? No, that's Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Okay. That's what you're thinking. Mr. Smith goes to Washington. I can't. That's what you're thinking. Mr. Chips is overwhelmed by worms. Yes.

Now you've got a movie. Somehow the book is worse than any of the plot of the films we just described. But where's Sally Merkin? And we also do a podcast called Do Go On, Dave, and we're coming up in October. Biggest month or two months now, November as well. Biggest topics, the most voted for topics. That's right. Block-tober is back.

But in recent weeks, we did an episode with Kirstie Wiebeck last week talking about Adidas. And Puma. And Puma. The Dassler brothers, they started one shoe company together 100 years ago, everything going great until they have a big feud and then they split off and made two companies that happened to become the second and third biggest sports companies in the world.

And somehow Matt and I managed to make it sexy. Oh, yeah, we made it real sexy. We've just got a way of making that happen. Any topic, we will horn it up. Yeah, it was... Listen, please hang around. There's going to be a bunch of outtakes in this episode after the song, making that happen. Any topic, we will horn it up. Yeah, it was tough, man. Listen, please hang around. There's going to be a bunch of outtakes in this episode after the song,

so tune in to hear them. Very funny stuff. Thanks so much for listening. Please give us a five-star review if you want to, and tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy this pod. I think it's fun. If you think it's fun, tell your friends. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart.

And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. We'd horn it with a Melbourne band. Melbourne band. Did you feel a rivalry between Melbourne bands and Canberra bands? And DJ Dance. DJ Dance and Skateboard. We heard about the jam. We heard about the dance. We heard about The Dance.

And it was huge rivalry. But also, it's a huge inspiration, can I just say. Oh, that's beautiful. Well, I just want to say that I was the number one fan of Weird Hornet as well. Thank you. Yeah, I've got all their merch. You've got it all. All their albums.

The vinyl as well. All the vinyl. Do you want to sing a bit of who knows or whatever who cares who cares sorry yeah who yeah okay yeah uh yeah i was walking down the street and i certainly thought who cares all right it checks out that is a lot better should we start a band together i'll get on the decks behind you're back on the decks i'll get back on the decks why not'll get back on the decks. Why not?

But I'll probably do vocals as well as you can see. I just demonstrated that I'll be on the vocals. I'll stick to the bass guitar. Al, if we can invite Al, what do you play? Oh, he can come to our first jam and our first jam only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I can play drums for that first jam. You're drumming?

Yeah. You can drum and you could, can you clarinet while you drum? Have you ever tried? I've never tried, but I'm about to take it to the next level. And that's, I think it's one of the things you can only try once. Do that thing where you like tie symbols between your knees and just sort of start clapping. Yeah, I'm going to tie a clarinet between my feet.

That's very risky business. Very risky having symbols between the legs. Matt, what are you bringing to the band? I didn't see this question being turned around on me. Sorry, mate. Sometimes the host has got to be hosted. No one's ever asked you a question before. Oh, gosh.

I feel like what have we got? We don't have a guitar. What about a keytar? Absolutely, we need a keytar. Can I bring a keytar in? We definitely need a keytar. Okay, fantastic. So you're DJ and vocals?

I reckon. We've got a drummer, clarinet player. You just sing with bass only? Bass player slash dancer. Oh, bass player. Yeah, obviously. That goes without saying. Dancer with a TZ.

And I'm keytar with, and I'll do a bit of hyping as well. Yeah, nice. That's amazing. All right. First point of action is new theme song for this pod, I reckon. Who cares? I was walking down the street. Who cares?

I think I mentioned it on that pod that comedians often say to me like at gigs. They're like, are you sponsored by Adidas? That's how frequently I have an Adidas kit on. That's amazing. And I'm not, but if anyone from Adidas is listening. Are you in a rivalry with Daniel Muggington? Muggleton?

Muggleton, sorry. Yeah. No, that's okay. Don't apologise to me, apologise to him. That's the kind of disrespect that you'd normally expect from somebody. His rival, Kirsty. That's exactly right, yeah. I was being quite noble then.

Tweeted me, said, I'm loving the podcast, something like That's exactly right, yeah. I was being quite noble then. Tweeted me and said, I'm loving the podcast and like that, find it very relaxing. And I'm sure this week's episode is as relaxing as it comes. Don't you think? The energy here. Just the tones. There's nothing frantic about it. I love you, man.

That actually means a lot. Yeah. And I'm so glad I've got that on tape. A bonus three points to Kirsty. For being timely. Is that why or just in general? Just in general. Not for a reason.

Just thanks for coming to the studio today, Kirsty. Three points. Three points for showing up, Kirsty. Yeah. You've already got a lead. Should we introduce like a 25 words or less thing for these two who are writing theses? What about a 25 minutes or?

Yeah. Like how many words, do a word count, Dave, right now. How many is it up to? Also, I'm cheating. How many words? One. One word. Okay.

But he puts a lot of thought into every word. He's the Leonard Cohen of podcasting. Basically my space bar has stopped working. So interpret that as you will, Matt. He's going onto his web browser and he's Googling how to get the space bar working. Bill Leonard Cohen of podcasting. Thank you.

I've always said that about you, Dave. Leonard. And then Leonardo. Leonard O. You could read later if you want to. Is it spelled the same? Leonard. And then Leonardo. Leonard-O. You could read later if you want to. Is it spelled the same? Leonard and Leonard-O? Yeah.

Leonard-O. Leonard-O. DiCaprio. Priot. DiCaprio. Leonard-O. Do you think he'd be as hot if his name was Leonard? Yeah, Leonard.

Yeah, no, it wouldn't be, would it? Leonard. Oh, have you seen Leonard? If it was Leonard? Yeah, Leonard. Yeah, no, it wouldn't be, would it? Leonard. Oh, have you seen Leonard? If it was Leonard Decap? Leonard Decap. Leonard Decapri. Because they initially wanted him to change his name from being so Italian.

Oh, right. But really, it's the only thing that makes him stand out. The only thing? Not in Italy. No, you're right. It allows them to blend in with everybody. Because everybody walks around shouting their own name. Yeah.

Marco Salini! Marco Salini! Leonardo DiCaprio! Why are you going on holiday? I feel like I've just been on a sabbatical to Europe for months. It felt like months. ATB saying one thing in 10 seconds felt like months of my life. Mariela Puccaccini.

How calming. What was that about a calming Podcast I'm so relaxed I'm having a panic attack I'm so sorry Anthony He's sitting out on his property In Tasmania

Just like The most beautiful Everything's green And lush around And he's got this in his head Going Yeah Couldn't be any more relaxed

ATB screaming The serenity Frederico And then A last name I couldn't think of another Italian last name Relax. I should be screaming. The serenity. Frederico! And then a last name. I couldn't think of another Italian last name. Anyway, Anthony, it's lovely to meet you. In some regard, it feels like you've written to us and now we're responding to you.

It's quite a joy. We're responding to you in the form of a lie. In the form of a yell? Why is this a lie? Because we're making it up. Are you making it up? I was writing the word. We're lying.

I was looking up the dictionary definition, and then I write that down. You wear this kind of brutal ribbing better than anyone I know. Never fight back. You just sort of. I'm like, you know, remember Gak? Yeah. Remember Gak?

That goo? Yeah. You could just squish it. You could make it fart in the thing like that. back i just sort of i'm i'm like uh you know remember gack yeah remember gack that goo yeah you could just you could just squish it you could make it fart in the thing like that that's what you can do you can make him fart in the thing i love to make you fight i only really do it with atb as well i like it though it's a yeah it's a it's i don't know it's a funny dynamic thing that has you know it's built up in time it's built up in time. It's built up in time. I only retaliate when I snap. Yeah. Yeah, it's a bloodbath. Which I've seen. There's nothing scarier when people who are placid most of the time snap.

It's always like, oh, God. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, if it's someone you're aware of, there's a bit of fire in them. Different. If Dave ever did, I've never seen it, it'd be scary. Al, the couple of times I've seen it, it's like, oh, no. Oh, yeah. Has it got like a bit of like dad's

angry you've ruined your father's holiday well when i've become since becoming a parent it just happens non-stop like we're not just like rage and stuff like that but a lot of like all right we gotta stop doing this everybody calmed down like you know that kind of something you're like jesus this is not what i want in my life to be. And that's just when he's not at home with the kids as well. No, it's just me. Just you. He gets that all out in the workday, yeah. That's right.

I just misplaced my keys. What the fuck is going on? We got to calm down. Everybody stop. Nobody talking to themselves. Everybody stop and just show yourselves. They'd start, shop started selling shoes that had slightly different hot heels. So that people would.

So strange. Anyway. Around what year was that? 18. 1860. Because that's the time when people were just like dying from walking on uneven steps anyway. Yeah. And having two separate sized shoes just would be the perfect way to.

That was before you were allowed to sue the council? Yeah. For tripping over on an uneven footpath? Yeah. And before they had developed assisted dying medication so that you could just buy a pair of shoes and go walk down some uneven stone steps. A cobbled street.

Yeah. I mean, it would be a terrible time to have an actual limp even stone steps. A cobbled street. Yeah. I mean, it would be a terrible time to have an actual limp when they've called off the limp on, was that under royal creed of the queen? Yeah, she'd be like, Gus, come on. Yeah, please, please stop this. Please, yeah. But it would feel like, are you making fun of me?

What's going on here? Yeah. Something, I don't know, this might be a myth because I'm very gullible and there are a lot of things I was told as a child that well into my 20s I told people were a fact before realising that it was what our parents told us to. Like an example is I told my friends when I was like 26 that my auntie died

because she hadn't removed a splinter and it had gotten into her bloodstream and pierced her heart. And I thought it was true. Like I never and pierced her heart and and i thought it was true like i never asked any questions of this aunt and i thought it was true so this might be an example of that but obviously my parents were trying to make us tell them if we had a splinter so anyway i thought there was one isn't there one about how there was like a king or something in spain who had a list oh maybe and everyone started pronounced that's why that's what yeah but you know i'm steeped in regret that i've brought it up on a podcast because like Maybe. And everyone started pronouncing. That's why in Spanish they say Bufalona.

Bufalona. Yeah. But, you know, I'm steeped in regret that I've brought it up on a podcast. Because if it is, in fact, what I suspect it could be, that I've made it up or it's a dad fact, my DMs are going to be a mess after this is released. Actually, Kirstie, you're fine. Yeah.

Let me guess here. I'm working back with your parents. Do you have a lisp as a child? And they're all trying to be like, that's something that a king has. You should be here. I'm working back with your parents. Do you have a lisp as a child? And they were trying to be like, that's something that a king has. You should be proud. I've still got one. And no, they never made me feel supported in that way. They were like, say it properly.

No, they weren't. I'm kidding. They were supportive. My mum actually did speech therapy herself for me. She taught herself. She went and got lessons so that she could just get twice as much value. Well, there was too big a wait list for me to have speech therapy and I was almost indecipherable. But in the interim, my little sister came along

and she loved me so much when she was like a tiny child. We're still close, but she loved me so much that she learned how to speak off me. And so to this day, she also has a lisp. Got her. A beautiful gift. I keep picturing the splinter in your skin, just kind of getting into the bloodstream

and just travelling like a stick, you know, like that you drop on a creek. Yeah. And just kind of travels down through the heart and just like whitewater raft and all the way into your heart. Sticking into the side of your heart and you go, like that, and you fall down. Yeah.

And in the autopsy, they're like, oh, it's a splinter. Oh, we found it. Yes, we found it. It's a tiny splinter. We got it. What are you, a vampire? A tiny wooden stake through the heart. Got him.

That's how you get the vampires. You just get them in a splinter. Tiny, in the bloodstream. That's right. And then you wait. Invite them into your home. Inject them with a tiny splinter. And then wait. Put yourself at risk. Invite them into your home, inject them with a tiny splinter, and then wait.

Put yourself at risk. Invite them into your home. Yeah, and then wait for seven to eight days for it to do its magic. The brown banded... The brown banded... You're all dead. After this one? This one, nobody's going to be able to handle this one. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's going to be that good. It's going to be This one, nobody's going to be able to handle this one. Oh, my God.

Yeah. It's going to be that good. It's going to be that good. It's going to be so good, I think. Hobgen test. Hobgen. Oh, my God. I've got to...

Just double-checking that that was what you thought it was. I'm sorry. I thought you just said,'s a hobkin um that's very nice of you to subtly say hobkin tests sorry not mentioning any names alistair test i'm going on so good that's what i'm now can i ask are you rewriting or can you tell us later what you initially submitted? I think it's convertible. What you think a Hobgen is. I love that that's the one you did a big brag on as well.

And then Matt's like, fail. You suck. Nah, you're alright you're doing your best eh tippy and it's a timely reminder that sometimes your best isn't good enough you know I used to get cocky

when I was in front and but I learnt my lesson I became humble. It's not about that, mate. It's not about that. But I really appreciate you bringing out the fact I'm in front again. It's easy for me to tell which ones belong to Dave and A to B.

They're the ones that take Matt 15 minutes to read out. Oh, no, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I've been done for ages. All right. We're just waiting on Al's second draft. Quite interesting how defensive you are, Dave Warnocki. Priceline, Priceline, you pay less at Priceline.

It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. No, not funny. Alistair. I can't believe you chose that one. It's so funny because you're so good at the mind games, Kirstie, but Al does these little, like, barely a laugh, just exhaling through the nose, and you're like, what does that mean?

I'm grumbling. I'm grumbling as a person. Christy's actually laughing at her own answer. I am so funny. I'm really good. I was laughing before when I'd written the snippety-doo-doo one. Like Griner? I was like.

And then that mirth turned to fury when I mispronounced it that's right and i was like here's my chance to fix things and ruin the game in the process what's your favorite drink if one of you favorite drink i love a chocolate milk yeah chalky milk Do you ever refer to it as that? In the past, occasionally. Would you make it from powder in your own home? I have done that. I've done that. What's your favorite drink?

Water. Yeah, wow. That's a good one. That'd be your favorite. Good boy. I don't really. I enjoy. What's my favorite drink? I don't know.

Mine's probably peanut butter stout. Yeah. I mean, I do like Cooper's extra stout. Oh, yeah, that's a good stout. Oh, that was fun when we were drinking those on the 50th episode. Remember that? Yeah. Looking into the middle distance.

Kirstie's got her answer in, by the way. You don't need a pad. She's just doing admin or something. I'm texting some. Hi. You're texting the gig booker tonight. I'm texting some. Hi. You're texting the gig booker tonight. I'm running late. I'm doing this fucking podcast. Yeah, we started hours ago, but ATB won't shut up.

He's taking forever to write events. He's reading out the scores. It's so embarrassing. He keeps asking everyone what their favourite drink is. No one cares. Let's go, Matt. Let's go. Come on, Matt.

I'll obviously edit out a lot of the thinking time in between, but if you can keep us up to date with the minute countdown, please, Kirsty, for the audience at home. On the home stretch now. 17 minutes 50 to go. It's hard when I've got that count in my ear, I can't think of anything. Times are ticking.

Let the record show that I've just hit submit. How many minutes we got left? ATB, you are down to your final 16 minutes 45. Done. Done, done, done, done, done, done, done. Did you know it was like a three paragraph synopsis, not the script? Oh, right, right, right, right. You're not supposed to.

I just was doing a script outline. Did you develop all the characters as well? Yeah. I did a treatment so that we could maybe get it made. Yeah, that's a good idea. There's a lot of funding as well in Australia for that kind of thing. It seems to be a really good industry for that kind of thing. Yeah, they want to throw money at everything, every pitch,

no matter what you come up with, no matter how good it is. It's only going to get better as there's so much content in the world and it's less valuable but more expensive to make you know yeah yeah yeah um hey matt as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks.