Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 55 - Jess Perkins, Dave Warneke and Suren Jayemanne

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode is the show's one year birthday so we got the episode 1 gang back together: was features guests Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat), Jess Perkins (Do Go On, Simply the Jest) and Suren Jayemanne (Good Tucker, Benny and Surenny)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Daves' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and to celebrate our first birthday, our guests this week are returning from episode one.

It's Soren Jayamana, Jess Perkins and Dave Warnicke. Happy birthday, happy birthday to the pun. Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Can you believe it's been a year? I've missed you guys I can't believe it And the best part about it is We're back on the couch

Yes We recorded the first ever episode On the couch Yeah that's true In Sydney On the couch yeah With Mike Sheehan And

Old football show Jess I got the reference for sure Well I said it to you But I was really saying it to America Do you think of Jess as America? I think of Jess as America When I think of Jess as America. When I think of Jess, I think America. I think the Big Apple.

I think of La La Land. Yes, yes. All of those things are me. What a pleasure to be back a year later. Yeah, you've covered so many topics, so many episodes. Congratulations to you, Matt. Thanks so much. They said we'd never do it.

They said you shouldn't. Yeah, we were saying that on the first ever episode. Yeah, we said stop, don't, but you persevered. That's actually why we've called this meeting today. This is an intervention. If there's one thing I'd say about you, it's persistent. Yeah, man, you've got to stop. Yeah.

I'm just looking at the score from that first episode. Seren on zero points. A score that i managed to maintain for many more episodes you've never never scored but this was one of the rare times the house won episode one because the house is now on a losing streak going back i think 13 episodes really well we're gonna wreck that today so does it say what jess and i were on because i can't remember either dave was on four Jess was on eleven

The house on twelve That has got to be my highest score ever So losing feels like a real slap But this was also The first episode was one where Seren had the answer about like a barber Yes Barber Ian Barber Ian

Barber Ian And that was maybe one of the hardest I've ever laughed. Yeah, the time barbarians. Yes, barbarians. It's a good memory. Well, it was a very good joke. Finally, I was like, now I get the appeal of Saran. It's really funny.

I didn't get it before that. Yeah, I do remember you saying Because we recorded in the hotel Where we were staying in up in Sydney And I said, oh, Saran's coming over to this podcast And he said, why? I don't understand why Do we need someone to operate the fader? There's so much pressure on me right now

Come up with some sort of Barber Ian level goals Again, back it up Alright, so the way the show works is I ask a relatively Obscure trivia question And our contestants Have to write a convincing

Fake answer I then read their answers As well as the real one And they have to guess Which one is correct The first question Comes from listener Ashley Botkin

From Richmond, Virginia In the United States Which according to Ashley And I have no reason To doubt them It's home of the flying squirrels baseball team Go squirrels Go squirrels

Go squirrels Hope you're having a good Oh sorry You think of Jess You think of America Squirrels Ashley Botkin was saying What is he saying?

I'm also imagining Squirrels Not squirrels like flying through the air themselves But they're all flying little mini biplanes They're all They've got the goggles They've got i think five five they've all killed at least five other squirrels so ashley's question is what is the definition of snarge? Snarge.

Which is such a fantastic word. How are we spelling snarge? S-N-A-R-G-E. Snarge. Snarge. And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house,

and I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question. And I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair. But the probability actually favors me. The house. And the house always wins. Though, if you've listened to the previous 12 or so episodes, you realize that isn't really often the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters.

If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod, which is linked in the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes all right the answers are in for question number one what is the definition of snarge the build-up of oil and grime on gears in a ship's engine snarge snarge oh jeez the snarge is really building up somebody somebody's gonna do something about the snarge we might have to call a guy and the snarge. Snarge. Oh, jeez. The snarge is really building up. Somebody's got to do something about the snarge. We might have to call a guy in. The snarge guy. Yeah. What's the snarge guy's name?

Do you know his number? I think maybe you could almost say that for every answer you... Oh, we've got to do something about this snarge. The remains of a bird after it has collided with an aeroplane, especially with a turbine engine. Yeah. Oh, we've got to do something about this snarge. We've got to get the snarch going.

A defence agreement between the governments of Senegal and Argentina, focusing especially on their shared interests in the South Atlantic Ocean. Wow. Okay. A portmanteau of playing snooker on a barge. We've got to do something about this snarch. Everyone's having too much fun. The goop-like substance generated by the friction of a lion's mane

The friction of a lion's mane Leaves a goop-like substance Yeah, and it's cleaned by the snarge man You know, like the sleep in the corner of your eye Yeah, yeah Belly button lint Yeah But more goopy Put on a button lint Yeah More goopy

Put on a line More goopy More goopy and on a line And on a line Yes Or finally A colloquial term Referring to an officer rank

In the RAAFS Being the Royal Albuquerque Air Force Flying Squirrels It is short for snargent Like Sarge But snarged That's the Sarge guy Sarge guy's job title. He's a Sargent.

He's a Sargent. That makes sense. In the Royal Albuquerque Air Force Flying Squirrels. And fixes all the other jobs. Yeah. All right. Squirrels. Squirrels.

So you got Grime on Gears and a ship's engine. Bird Splatter in an airplane. Senegal and Argentina's governments coming together, finally. And what are they coming together over? Their shared interests in the South Atlantic Ocean. Okay. Playing snooker on a barge. The goop-like substance generated by the friction in the lion's mane.

Yep. Or the Royal Albuquerque Air Force Flying Squirrels, Snargent. The flying what, sorry? Squirrels. Oh. I do say it funny, don't I? Yeah. Half of these answers are sort of substance-y.

It's like goop. Yeah. Or engine oil build-up. Yep. Or bird remains. But it's all like a... Or a portmanteau. Or a portmanteau?

Yeah. Or Senegal and Argentina Having an agreement I mean they're very far away from each other Wow yeah How far away from each other are they? Do you know my favourite portmanteau? Is poor man's toe Which is the combination of a poor man who stubs his toe

Yes And therefore cannot drive So he has to call in a tow truck To get his vehicle repaired And therefore cannot drive, so he has to call in a tow truck. To get his vehicle ready. Hey, you did it already. We didn't even have to wait that long for him. See, I get it.

Barber Ian type. He's funny. Level work. Barber Ian, this is almost like a reverse portmanteau. That's true, yeah. So, any thoughts here? Who wants to have first crack? I really love... I think, yeah, snarch, it sounds like a weird word,

and I think it's... I reckon it's the engine oil one. Like, I think... On a barge? Yeah, because it's the... Spilled up on a barge. Okay. Or a's the build-up on a barge. Oh, a ship's engine. Ship, no good, barge.

Well, you've sort of merged two together. So you want... Where did the barge come from? Playing snooker on a barge. Is that the way you want it? No, no, no. I think it's the engine oil build-up. On a ship's engine.

Okay. Put that one in for Saran. Dave, what do you reckon oh gosh i was tempted by that one but then i don't know i'm also tempted by the bird splatter like it's pretty visceral yeah but it feels like the type of thing they'd have a name for you'd have to have a word for it wouldn't you yeah because it would happen often i think it's isn't it called like a bird strike or something when you fly into a group of birds because it really can mess up both the birds and the engines. That's when they're looking for better conditions. Yeah.

Yeah. Birds want more bread. The birds' necessary action. I'm going to say bird strike. Bird strike. Or bird snudge. I'm also saying the bird one. All right.

I just don't believe that Senegal and Argentina would ever come together on anything. Despite our best efforts. I keep emailing and emailing ever come together on anything. Despite our best efforts. I keep emailing. Guys, come on. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Short for Snargent. That was Soren. That was very cute.

The goop-like substance from the Lion's Mane. That was Dave Warnicke. Beautiful. You were immediately defensive of it too. Guys, it's a good one. I'm going to lock it in if I could, but I can't because it's mine. Portmanteau playing snooker on a barge. That was Jess Perkins.

Bit of fun there. Bit of fun. I don't know why you thought this one was ridiculous. Senegal and Argentina coming together. That was the house. West African country with a very South American country. You better believe I looked it up on a map to see what ocean was in between them. Built up of oil and grime on gears on a ship's engine.

So, Rem went for that. That was Ashley, aka the house. Meaning the correct answer is the remains of a bird. Called a snarge. Definitely the grossest one and it was that one. So, a point for Jess. Point that one Yeah So a point for Jess Point for the house And a point for Dave

And a point for snarge And a point for snarge Yeah I really actually feel sorry For the snarge guy now Yeah It's not a good job That's the worst

It's a gross thing to do That's right You're being told What you're going to do With the rest of your life You're going to be a snarge guy These are your five options Please don't let it be the bird one

Yeah I don't really want to approach a lion And have to deal with its rest of your life? You're going to be a snarge guy. These are your five options. Please don't let it be the bird one. I don't really want to approach a lion and have to deal with its mane, but also... This is gross. I'd love to play snooker. But I get quite seasick, so I don't really want to have to clean off ships either. There is a

woman in America who specializes in identifying the birds. I think there's many. Oh, yes. Sorry. There's a woman in America. Anyway, moving on. Unconfirmed. Matt's not hearing anything we're saying. There's a woman in America?

Oh, okay. Say this. You heard about this? Yeah, one who, she works at the Smithsonian. I'm going to quote from her soon, but that's her job, is identifying from the splatters what the bird was like the species and stuff does she have to taste the bird yes it's a taste test is this a seagull that's a gull does she have to go tell its parents why she identified i'm so sorry they do yeah from big prints they go into a into a morgue and she lifts up the little... The shit.

And it's just an exploded bird under the... I'm so sorry. There's a finch in there going like, that's not Jeremy. I'll give you some time to say goodbye. All right, we're up to question number two. This one comes from Ellie from Liverpool. And Ellie's question is,

what is the oddly self-loathing name of a suburban village in Durham, England, located north of Framwellgate Moor and west of Newton Halland? Could you repeat it one more time, please? Basically, I mean, the rest of it doesn't really matter, but it's the name of a town in Durham, England that has an oddly self-loathing name.

The name itself. You hear the name, you go, you all right self-loathing name. Oh. The name itself. You hear the name, you go, you all right, town? Yeah. Right, okay. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Snarge. According to Ashley, I love birds and I'm flying to Paris, so I was wondering about why on earth so many birds get hit by vehicles, trains, planes, and automobiles.

In the US alone, 13,000 bird strikes occur between birds and planes per year. Turns out birds likely only deem the danger of an object and the time it has to avoid it based on its distance away, not the velocity. Jason Bittle in the New York Times writes, Carla Dove, program manager for the Smithsonian Institution's Feather Identification Lab, said she wasn't sure who first coined the term snarge, but she first heard about it at the museum. Snarge can be a wad of Canadian goose lodged inside an aeroplane engine, or it can be a broken and burned gull feather littered along the runway. Snarge can even be as small as a rusty red smear on the nose of an airliner. But no matter what

form it takes, every bit of snarge is different, and all snarge is important. And beautiful. Despite these efforts, snarge happens. Wilbur Wright crushed a flock of birds way back in 1905, and in modern times, with more floods in the air than ever. He crushed those birds. Aircraft whack birds every single day.

In 2019 alone, the FAA documented 17,358 strikes. The vast majority amount to little or no damage, fortunately. When you say damage, you don't mean to the birds? Yeah, they bounce off. Perhaps most interesting of all, snarge is not limited to birds. Bats and insects turn into snarge. And there are even more curious species that show up, including frogs, turtles, snakes, and even cats and rabbits. The explanation? Sometimes a bird of prey will get scared by an approaching airplane and drop whatever it's holding in its talons, which then gets sucked into the jet engine. It's also possible that as a bird and an aircraft collide, the contents of the predator's stomach are splattered along with the rest of the bird, and the DNA still shows up in genetic testing. Dr. Dove said,

It's never a dull day when you're in charge of Sarge. She didn't say that. She said the thing before that. Wait, so her name's Dr. Dove? Yeah, I missed that as well. That is incredible. Nominative term. Carla Dove.

Bit of a nominative. That's actually quite a nice name. Carla Dove's fantastic, man. Yeah. It's pretty... If you are a dove and you're going to go to medical school, I think it's quite admirable to dedicate your entire career to... Snudge.

Yeah, it's just Snudge. Snudge. You're about to say some long-winded version. Just say the word that we all know. Snudge. But it easily can be confused with the treaty between Senegal and Argentina. Which has a different name. That's why that was funny. Oh, so there is that treaty. with the treaty between Senegal and Argentina. Which has a different name.

That's why that was funny. Oh, so there is that treaty. Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. Almost, definitely. I mean, I didn't look it up, but I assume so. All right, the answers are in. Here is question number two. What is the oddly self-loathing name of a suburban village in Durham, England?

Saddington. Plop Hole upon Avon. Plophole. That was Dave. Oh, come on. Look how hard you laughed. I'm laughing at you laughing. Pity me.

Shitsville. Wish I was never born upon Thames. I'm laughing at you laughing. Pity me. Shitsville. Wish I was never born upon Thames. Or Durham County, more like nobody here can county past three. But seriously, please, we need to improve numeracy and literacy here in Durham County. More like nobody here, you get it? Okay, so Wren was typing for ages. So, just putting it out there that I think that might have been Soren. Really?

Okay. Doesn't mean I don't think it's fantastic. I think we're going to go to you first here, Dave. What do you reckon? Right. I'm really tempted by plop hole. And I think everyone should lock that in. I'm definitely tempted by it, but I'm not going to.

Plop hole. Can we hear them again quickly? Saddington. Plop hole upon Avon. Pity me. Pity me. Shitsville. Wish I was never born upon Thames.

Or Durham County. More like nobody here can county past three. But seriously, please, we need to improve numeracy and literacy here in Durham County. More like nobody here. You get it? I don't think I do. I think it was meant to sound like the name just keeps going forever. I couldn't be bothered typing anymore.

Is what you would... Yeah. If you're getting in the mind of who might have written that. Yes. Including the person Who named the real place Yeah I'm thinking of going

For Saddington Saddington Saddington's good That's Grim And to be honest No offence But quite English I reckon it could be

Pity me Pity me For the same reason It is Grim And it could be English Shout out to all Our great English listeners Yeah we love you

We love you all Including of course Ellie from Liverpool I think if there was Could be English. Shout out to all our great English listeners. Yeah, we love you. We love you all. Including, of course, Ellie from Liverpool. I think if there was a town called Shitsville, I'd want to live there. That's great. Shitsville sounds more American to me. Yeah, I agree. Shitsville, Tennessee. That's probably a real place.

Maybe if it was like Bollocksville or something. Yeah. Yeah. You fucking what, Bill? Then I'd be like, lock it in. Yeah, I'm going to laugh, Tim. You fucking what, Zville? Then I'd be like, lock it in. You're having a laugh, Tim. You're right, shitsville is... By order of the peaky fucking blindersville.

They don't tend to have many vills, do they? Yeah, that's true. In the UK, vill is very American. You're right, it's not the shit, it's the vill. I might go pity me as well, actually. Not tempted by plophole. I'm very tempted by plop hole. So, Saran and Jess are going pity me.

Dave's going Saddington. Oh, Saddington's good. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Drum County, more like nobody here can county past three. That was Saran. Great work. Thanks. Sorry for using my detective skills.

Very good poker face too, by the way. I was typing for a long Yeah but my hands I don't have good poker hands Type come on You're yelling at your hands Type Type They're gonna know

Wish I was never born Upon Thames That was Ellie And the house Combining there That's good Shitsville What did the house add

Upon Thames No I added the Wish I was never born And Ellie had Ellie had like Upon Thames. Ellie's one was probably funny, to be honest. Ellie's one was Poverty Upon Thames.

I don't know why I changed it. I just sometimes I want to be involved in my own show. Sorry, can I log in Poverty Upon Thames? Shitsville was Jess Perkins. That's funny. Plophole upon Avon That was Dave Warner Oh you don't say I love the word plop

Plophole Saddington Which Dave went for That was the house Oh well done Many pity me is correct It can't be real Well

Pity me How's it spelt? P-I-T-Y Space Oh really M-E Two words Pity me Pity me So strange That's That is really weird How's it spelt? P-I-T-Y space M-E. Oh, really? Two words.

Pity me. Pity me. So strange. That is really weird. I can imagine if it was just all one word, like P-I-T-Y-M-E, and you sort of go, is it maybe pronounced? Pity me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

But it's just pity me. Pity me. That's so strange. It's one of the most grim town name I've heard of. Like a guy I used to work with He followed a soccer team in England That was in like 3rd, 4th, maybe even 5th division Very low And they're from Scunthorpe

Scunthorpe Scunthorpe Scunthorpe The S and the Thorpe are really Like Concealing a lot there don't you think? Scunthorpe We're from Scunthorpe

Beautiful neck of the woods Look I don't know Anything about the place Other than The name just sounds grim Hey we'll go for a picnic On scum forb green Alright question three

Comes from Zoe DL From Epping NSW What was the slogan For Australian company PJ Bricks' 1993 ad campaign A slogan for a Brick ad campaign

Yeah so PJ Bricks had a TV. PGH. PGH Bricks. A brick company had an ad campaign in 1993. What's the slogan? While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about Pity Me.

According to Sean Seddon, writing for for chronicle live of all the strange place names in the northeast this one has the most theories behind it ranging from a variation on an old norman name a story about st cuthbert's coffin being dropped on the way to durham cathedral or a reference to a song sung by monks during the viking invasion the truth however may be more prosaic according to the oxford dictionary ofary of British Place Names, it may just have been a disparaging nickname that stuck. Beautiful neck of the woods. Do you ever listen back

to these just because you missed the factoid? Yeah, sometimes I do feel like you're concentrating so hard you do miss the factoid. Before, I think, at the same time, you and I realised that the lady's name was Dove. Hang on, what? You totally missed that. I just listen back to this podcast because I think it's a great podcast.

Yeah, it's great. We like to support our friends. I'm just a fan. That's okay. Yeah, if you're zoning out at parts and need to listen back, that's fine. But yeah, no, I do it as a genuine fan. This intervention has taken a turn.

I thought we were campaigning to end it. Can I have a point for that? Point for? Just being nice Yeah Defending your honour If Jess If Serena and Dave

Are okay with it Yeah I think she's pretty nice Yeah Jess is nice Alright Bonus pity point there Great Bonus what point?

A pity me point That puts you Into the lead Hang on a second Hang on a second I didn't think this would have real world consequences Don't worry I'll lose it in no time We know

Alright here's question three What was the slogan for Australian company PGH Bricks 1993 ad campaign The clever little pig picks PGH Bricks Bricks so perfect for throwing through some c***s window We should change our name to MA15 plus H Bricks so perfect for throwing through some c***s window, we should change our name to MA15 plus H bricks. Bricks of uncommon beauty. Our bricks will do the trick.

Come on, don't be a prick. Mmm, that's good bricks. Or good for houses, walls or throwing through windows. So yeah, normally if you get two that have a similar thing, one of them is right. And we've got two throwing through window brick answers there. Can we

have them again please? Yeah. The clever little pig picks PGH bricks. Is that from a fairy tale or fable or anything? Yeah, like the three little pigs Oh One of them built their house Out of brick

And their Oh and it didn't blow down The wolf couldn't blow it down Yeah Is that someone justifying Their answer on the couch Yeah Bricks

Okay no I was trying to help you Because I think that's probably The right answer But okay Bricks so perfect For throwing through Some c*** window We should change our name

To MA 15 plus H bricks So that's also in the running. That does feel right. Is that also a fairy tale? Yeah. Bricks of uncommon beauty. I love it. That sucks.

Our bricks will do the trick. Come on, don't be a prick. That's good bricks. Or good for houses, walls or throwing through windows. I've got to lock in bricks of uncommon beauty. It's so good. I've never seen a brick that doesn't look exactly like another brick. That's so true.

This is the sexiest brick you'll ever see. That's so true. Jess, what are you thinking? I mean, Seren makes a good point there, but I thought it was the piggy one. Piggy one? Yeah, because, like, companies love... They would have done the whole ad of, like, you know,

the big bad wolf blowing down competitors' brick houses. Yeah. You know? I can picture it all. I'm doing that one. Yeah, the piggy one is smart. Yeah. Because also the thing about brickies is they haven't really read much

beyond the simple fables. Got thing about brickies is they haven't really read much beyond the simple fables. Cut that, brickies. Jeez, if you're an English brickie out there, you'd be feeling pretty low right now. A brickie from Scott and Paul from pity me. Okay. So, I also am going to go for the bricks of... What is it?

Uncommon beauty. Uncommon beauty. Or the bricks of, what is it? Uncommon beauty. Uncommon beauty. Because our beautiful question writer, this has obviously stuck with them since 1993 for a reason. It's got to be pretty.

It's either got to be throwing through someone's window or it's so beautiful. You know what happened in 1993? That's when they introduced the film classifications. Oh, so maybe that's why they were tying in the MAPG. Because before that it used to be. Parental Guidance Bricks. Yes, exactly. Parental Guidance H. Bricks.

H is the middle name. H is the middle name, yeah. Yeah, it's the middle initial. Like William H. Macy. Yes. Yes, exactly. Parental Guidance H. Macy. Yeah.

Oh, sorry, H. Bricks. I get those two confused Because they're related And they look very similar William H. Macy is actually a human of uncommon beauty That's true Give me the uncommon beauty if I haven't looked that in Okay

Here's who wrote the answers Good for houses, walls or throwing through windows That was Jess Perkins Mmm That's good bricks That was the house Our bricks will do the trick Come on don't be a prick

That was Dave Warnock here Yep Rhyming I love some rhymes He's a little poet And Saranza's bricks So perfect for throwing Through some

B***s window We should change the name To MA15 plus H bricks So you three It's funny that There was only two To choose from, really, because you three, I don't know if you necessarily wrote believable answers.

Oh, come on. A 90s ad could say, don't be a prick. You would have, they could have had that. That's true. Also, it was an 80s ad. But in the 1983, that's when they introduced the film Classifications. So Seren really thought about it. And I'm doing my best.

Yeah, come on. Don't be a prick, you prick. Yeah. They are believable if both of us went to Windows, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. We come on your podcast and you insult us.

The clever little pig picks PGH bricks. That was the house. Ah, that's a good one I always try and put one in that's believable And one that's silly Wait wait wait You're telling me it was bricks of uncommon beauty It is bricks of uncommon beauty

That's so good And Zoe wrote I know nothing about PGH But the reason I know this phrase is because it was the name of my dad's band They name themselves after the after the brittany's brick ad and uh i actually i don't do we have the ox cable because i could play a bit of if you want to hear a little bit i quite like it well let me tell you about it first bricks of uncommon beauty described by critics brackets children of band members as angry men under

blankets due to their recordings poor sound quality for a 90s independent hard rock band inspired by classic aussie pub bands like you or my with brad on guitar and lead vocals luke on bass and backup vocals and jamie on drums without cowbell the band tour multiple venues in their area and recorded one album they released to their families many classic hits, such as Duke Lucum, Moth to a Flame and Chump. Although it's been many years since they last performed, fans, brackets, children of band members, are still holding out hope they'll one day get the band back together

for one final performance. While you're writing your answers, I'll play a bit of Chump. But here is question number four. This one comes from Amy from Texas. The question is, what advice did the American Medical Association issue in 1962? What advice did the American Medical Association issue in 1962? Just one bit of advice for the whole year Alright let me give you the date January the 10th 1962 Thank you I gotta tell you I'm really digging this track Chomp by Bricks of Uncommon Beauty. I like it. Never wanted this Never wanted this

I like it. Yeah. Me too, actually. Like, Zoe was pretty harsh on the production, bro. I don't think it sounds too bad. Sounds pretty good. I enjoyed that very much. Nothing chumpish about that no and jess you love australian music that i do i'm on the record that's something i would hear on on triple j unearthed you know and go oh bloody hell yeah good on them all right here is question number four. What advice did the American Medical Association issue in 1962?

Cuban cigars should be discarded due to the potential for nuclear contamination. That people over 40 should avoid dancing the twist. LSD use during pregnancy is risky and should be consumed in moderation. It was the 60s. Americans were advised to avoid shaking astronaut John Glenn's hand for at least 30 days following his return to Earth. To avoid a sore neck, stop looking up. Those two might be related.

Or, on January the 10th, 1962, the American Medical Association provided the following advice. It's a commonly held view that your products look too common and lack beauty. This advice was provided directly to the brick manufacturing industry. Isn't that a funny coincidence? That's crazy.

I guess they started as an American company and then got to Australia by the 90s. And it took them 20 years to make their bricks beautiful. Do you think astronaut John Glanz actually went into space? Or do you think just heaps of people were shaking his hand? He got a big head. And they're like, he's finally come back down to earth, guys. You've got to stop shaking his hand.

Yeah. Do you think it would be for your safety? Don't shake his hand because we don't know. Or is he too fragile and we don't want you shaking his hand? Don't shake his hand Because we don't know What he's Or Or is he too fragile And we don't want you Shaking his hand Don't crush his bones Yeah

Yeah it could be Either of those Can we have them again please Sure So Basically avoid Cuban cigars Because of the nuclear

Contamination Yeah Over 40 should avoid Dancing the twist Pregnant people should Use LSD In moderation Avoid shaking Astronaut John Glenn's hand For 30 days After his return to earth Stop looking up avoid dancing the twist pregnant people should use lsd in moderation avoid shaking astronaut

john glenn's hand for 30 days after his return to earth stop looking up if you want to avoid a sore neck or the advice of the brick industry um that their products look too common and lack beauty this is a tricky one it is a hard one i'm gonna i'm gonna throw this one open to Saran. Okay. What do you reckon? I reckon that it's the... I think it's probably... 1962 sounds NASA-y. That's when NASA was sending people up to space, wasn't it? So, I reckon it's the astronaut John Glenn's. To me, I reckon someone shook his hand.

Yeah. And got sick. Yeah, and they said... And they assumed that it was... Correlation equaled causation. Causation, that's right. Yeah, that's a good one. Locking that in for Saran.

Okay, how about you, Dave? I think it might be the twist. Over 40s, do not attempt this move. Yeah. Yeah, I like the idea of the twist- twist related injuries so much so that they've had to release a statement i'm also going to say the twist all right looking in the twist for bopper he could very well be don't look up don't look up yeah so yeah yeah because everyone was looking to the skis the scars um so uh the advice of the brick manufacturing industry,

which was a bit of a funny thing for the American Medical Association to do. That was Saran. You don't say. It's weird that you've often got zero points on this show. Also, I'm the only person that repeats the question at the start of the question. I've got to stop doing that. I should say, quick score update. Saran's on two points whoa as is dave whoa but out in front on three points it's just in the house that include the point we gave away yes yeah that does include my pretty

point thank you that could be the deciding factor to avoid a sore neck stop looking up that was dave warnke. That was me. Did that come from personal experience? Yes, advice I stand by. I haven't looked up in 20 years. Cuban cigars should be discarded due to the potential for nuclear contamination. That was Amy, aka The House. That was a good one. That was a good one.

Then we had LSD used during pregnancy is risky. That was Jess Perkins. That was great. It was the 60s. That was a good little herring there. It was. And that was the perfect kind of answer because that's the kind of thing that you could buy that maybe they would have said.

They were crazy back then. The 60s? You know, they would have been like, oh, you should cut back on smoking. You can just picture the head of the AMA in the 60s, you know, with his long hair. Yeah. Doing the peace symbol. Yep know, with his long hair. Yeah. Doing the peace symbol. Yep. Symbol.

Symblu. Symblu at any opportunity. Just going, you know, man, oh, you know, best medication for you, man, is. Love. Love and marijuana, dude. Yeah. And LSD. Dude.

Man. An LSD. Dude. Man. Amy also wrote, Americans were advised to avoid shaking astronaut John Glenn's hand. Oh, that's a good one. So, a point there for the house.

Meaning the correct answer is the people over 40 should avoid dancing the twist. Here's the thing. I can't keep track as you go. So, sometimes you've eliminated all of them. And I'm like, well, I guess no one scored that. Yeah. The twist, a dangerous dance. But also good to know that we've got a few years left, Jess, and twisting. Only a few more opportunities to twist.

Yeah. Matt, you've twisted your last twist. I can still twist. You can't twist. At the time of recording, I can twist. Unfortunately. Look at me. Look.

Look at me. Look at me go. Oh, no. Come on. No, Matt, your hips. Your hips. Why did someone warn me? Can I just say, if you enjoyed that at home,

it was even better to watch in the room. It was amazing. Okay, that means the scores after four rounds. Past the halfway mark. Seren's on two points. Dave's on three points. But out in front on four rounds, past the halfway mark. So, Ren's on two points. Dave's on three points. But out in front on four points is Jess and the House. Yes, Jess and the House.

Is that your band name? What's going on there? Woo! Jess and the Pussycats, Jess and the House. We're going to support Bricks of Uncommon Beauty. I hope there's a groundswell after this episode and they do a gig. Yeah. We want Bricks of Uncommon Beauty.

Okay. So, we're up to question number five. This one comes from Rachel Ball from London in the UK. Which of these is a real nickname of a 9th century French noble? Think Richard the Lionheart type nicknames. French noble. French noble from the 9th century. So, go on a ways back.

And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the dangers of the twist. According to Amy, the AMA advised against dancing the twist and hula hooping due to the potential for dislocated joints, slipped discs, and muscle pain in dancers over 40, particularly those with poor muscle tone. In their statement, the AMA spokesperson said a young person in good shape can twist without much chance of injury. I bet you'd wish you'd read this bit like 10 minutes ago. Oh, damn it. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, the answers are in. Here is question number five. Which of these is a real 9th century French noble?

Kevin the Camouflaged. Kevin in the 9th century. Ralph the Arsehead. Bastard Paul. Francois Big Pean. Gregory the Gregarhead. Bastard Paul. Francois Big Peen. Gregory the Gregarious. Or Ross. Ross.

That's his nickname. He was such a Ross. I'm more of a Phoebe. He was a real downer of the group. Okay, can we have those again, please? Kevin the Camouflaged. Ralph the Arsehead. Bastard Paul. Francois Big Peen, Gregory the Gregarious, or Ross? These are all so good.

This is fucking ridiculous. Is it Ralph Arsehead or Arsehair? Ralph the Arsehead. Ralph the Arsehair Or Ralph the Ass Hair. He's famous for that somehow. That thick mane. Yeah, it rubbed and created snarge. I've already forgotten them all.

Kevin, Ralph, Paul, Francois, Gregory and Ross. What's Paul's? Bastard Paul That's probably the most I reckon that's the most potential that one Bastard Paul Paul, you are a bastard That feels like a nickname that they'd have in that

Bastard Paul When you arrive in the Great Hall, my lord, Bastard Paul is here to see you. Because all the other nobles would be like, he doesn't deserve it. That's Bastard Paul. It's Bastard Paul. I don't even know that I think it's 100% it,

but just for how hard I laughed, whoever wrote it deserves a point. Bastard Paul for me. Bastard Paul for Geoff. Yeah, what about Kevin the Camouflage? That's very funny. That's very good. Francois Big Pean. Maybe Kevin was the first guy

they could just never see him. Is Kevin around? Don't say anything about Kevin. Yeah, yeah. It's got us into trouble before. Alright. Saran, you want to have a crack? I think it's Bastard Paul.

Bastard Paul? Bastard Paul's so funny. Two in for Bastard Paul. I'm so tempted by Bastard Paul as well. So we've got... You've got Kevin the Camouflage, Ralph the Arsehead, Bastard Paul, Francois Big Pean. That rolls off the tongue the best. Oh, so does Gregory the gregarious or Ross

English all the nobles are English and they're not even like a noble English it's like chap we're all doing the wrong country in the wrong class to make it as French now you can probably we I'm gonna say Ralph the ass head okay good call would you have said it still if it was Ralph the ass hair even more so okay do you think yeah Ralph that's where King Ralph was got its inspiration surely it's where the name came down the generations.

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Ross. That was Saran. Ross. Very good. Gregory the Gregarious. That was Jess Perkins. What had you written?

I had Gregor the Gregarious. No way. And I had to change it the last second When Jess came through To Kevin the Camouflage It's excellent Francois Big Bean Francois Big Bean was Dave Which I felt fun to say every time Very funny

Bastard Paul That was Rachel Great work Meaning the correct answer is Ralph the Arsehead There you go Which sounds like a child wrote it but bastard paul again i was like it's probably not that but so good you deserve the

point there rachel that was so funny bastard paul fantastic work from rachel there so that means a point to dave and two points to the house. Oh, I might have just lost my lead. Can I have a few extra points to get back in the lead? I didn't hear that. All right, question six. Unless Dave and Serene. Do you want another point? I would like...

Triple points are coming up, Jess. I would like enough to get back in the lead. Yeah, save it for the triple points. Okay, and then I'll ask for extra. Yeah, if you ask for extra during the final question, is it triple extra pity points? That's never happened before. No one's been so self-pitying before.

Well, Bastard Jess is here. Bastard Jess. It's also amazing that you're unsure as if you don't just choose. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's never happened before. I'm always worried about the listeners going, come on, the integrity of the game is important. I'm changing my name in our group chat to Bastard Pete.

Bastard Pete? Was it Pete? Paul. I want to be Pete. Yeah, you'll be Bastard Pete. Can you change us all? You'll be Bastard Pete, Dave's Bastard Paul, I'll be Bastard Perry.

Oh, that's so confusing. I'll be Bastard Pete, Dave's Bastard Paul, I'll be Bastard Perry. Oh, that's so confusing. It's like, surely after Paul was born, you had a chance to get married. You just kept rolling out babies. We're all bastards. All right, we're up to question number six. Penultimate question here. This comes from Michaela from Awabakal Country. And Michaela actually wrote the first ever question we asked on the show.

So I thought it'd be fun to get back in for the first birthday episode. That's nice. And Michaela's question is, what happened on the 13th of February 1944 in London, England? 13th of February 1944? Yeah, you know. And while you're writing your answers, let me tell you a little more about the arsehead. According to Rachel, disappointingly, he didn't have a head shaped like a human bum. Wikipedia.org seems keen to explain that he had a shaggy head that looked like a donkey.

Seems like medieval French nobles are a rich seam of weird names. There's also this guy, Herbert I, Count of Maine, who lived in the 11th century and is known simply as Wake Dog. It's a beautiful name. Quick score update after five rounds. Saran on two points. Jess and Dave on four points. But the house is out in front on six points. Oh, my gosh.

Will this be a repeat of one year ago? Imagine. Let's not let it happen, everyone. Be a beautiful birthday present. Alright, the ads are in for question six. What happened on the 13th of Feb 1944 in London, England? King George VI gave his longest public speech after working with an Australian speech therapist. Winston Churchill fell down the steps of Parliament and threatened a journalist who took his photo.

The photographs have never been published. Oh, wow. Can I just query something? Sure. Did the journalist capture a shot of the falling down the steps or did he drop his wallet and then a photo of his child fell out? Which the journalist then pilfered. This is an important clarification. It is.

I can only give you the info that is there. You can speculate as much as you like, of course. Well, it rules that one out, I think. Not enough clarity. While the Football World Cups were on hiatus, England held a makeshift tournament with teams made up of soldiers stationed in England. Despite having the most players to pick from,

including a number of top-line professionals, England failed to advance past the semi-final stage. That's embarrassing. The first ever Galentine's Day brunch was organised where single women gathered together to celebrate female friendship. The day has continued to be acknowledged since as an opposition of traditional Valentine's Day celebrations. Talk show host Jerry Springer was born in an underground train station

that was being used as a bomb shelter. Or King Charles, age six, farted. Though it was worth noting for accuracy, at the time Charles was still just a prince. He farted. I wonder if that inspired the song Who Farted? And the horse. Who farted? Who farted? Who farted I wonder if that inspired the song Who Farted And the horse Who farted

Who farted That was the day that inspired the horse That's beautiful They're big in horses the royal family Yeah I don't know if that one would be like noteworthy A six year old farted A six year old heir to the throne I just haven't seen anything in the paper of like you know

Prince George farting or something But I don't keep up with the royals I don't keep up with their farts This is the 1940s Yeah true there was less happening then Different yeah Not a lot TikTok wasn't out on air

People would go out and watch a train go past back then Yeah Or a prince fart It was all scheduled Now the prince will fart his royal air And then they'd have to Play the horns Introducing the real air

To the throne That's so stupid But I bet they did it Yeah Can we have a quick Summary please King George Longest speech After working with Australian speech therapist That's stupid. But I bet they did it. Yeah. Can we have a quick summary, please? King George, longest speech after working with Australian speech therapist. Winston Churchill, falling down the stairs, threatening the journalist.

But we don't know about the photo, so... That one was not clear. There was sort of a makeshift World Cup tournament that England lost in England. The first ever Galentine's Day brunch. A talk show host, Jerry Springer was born, or King Charles, then a prince, farted. Is Jerry Springer English? Well, if that answer's correct, I guess he is.

Yeah, okay. No. But maybe he moved over at a very young age. John Farnham did that. And I've often called him the Australian Jerry Springer. John Farnham was born in england yeah it's hard to think of a classic australian celebrity who was born here me and nicole kidman hawaii yeah she's born in hawaii mel gibson's american the bg's america anything far lap new

zealand oh my god new zealand well Well, one third of the original Credit House. Speaking of the Finns. Were in New Zealand. Two thirds were actually from Australia. So, I love that argument. Tim Finn was on my flight the other day. Was he? Yeah.

Tom Fon was a member, briefly. So, at that point, you could almost say they were a Kiwi band, because half the members were. But during most of their big albums, they were only one third Kiwi. And they were formed in Melbourne. So they lived here. You are insufferable. I've forgotten them all.

I've forgotten all the answers. Okay. Let me really break them down. King George. Winston Churchill. World Cup. Galentine's Day. Jerry Springer.

Prince Charles. I thought Galentine's Day was a much... More recent. I thought that was more recent, but maybe it started ages ago. I've personally never heard of it. You never heard of Galentine's Day? I'm in a group chat called Galentine's Day. I'll tell you what, Dave, you need to do some work.

Sorry, everyone. I don't know. Another Hallmark holiday is it? Here we go Here we go Here we go Alright I'm going to say Jerry Springer

Jerry Springer Yeah I like that idea That he was born there Because I know for a fact That John Farnham was Born in the train station Yep Yeah

I'm going to lock in the football one Football for Dave They lost to They lost to like everyone else's I feel like the Yeah. I'm going to lock in the football one. Football for Dave. They're lost to like everyone else's. I feel like it's either the Churchill one or the King George for me. But the King George one is like not interesting enough, I feel, for it to be an answer to the question.

There is a famous movie. It is Colin Firth. People are like, you know, maybe it's referencing that. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm going'm gonna in that instance Lock in Wow that was easy

Winston Churchill please That was easy to lure him to the wrong answer Wish I'd written that one down I think Winston Churchill fell down some stairs Alright lock that in Here's Hold on which one have you locked in He's locked in Winston Churchill

Yeah Here's who wrote the answers King George the first Gave his longest public speech. That was the House. Oh, thank you. Honestly, that's the best result. That was a close call.

The House didn't get the point. King Charles, age six, farted. But for accuracy, at the time, Charles was still just a prince. That was Sir Enjomana. Just for accuracy. All right. So then we have Galentine's Day. First ever.

That was Jess Perkins. I'm sorry I didn't know what that was, Jess. Get fucked. Sorry. You soj. Do you live in a lodge? Get some more single female friends. Do you call it the Miss Dodge Lodge?

That's where I live, okay? The fake FIFA World Cup that Dave went for, that was the house. Yeah, that's what you get. Oh, no. That's what you get. They got no laugh at all. I thought that was a pretty funny one yeah everyone's like yeah it sounds about right it is funny to think though because you

know at the world cup that just happened like russia they had to play under a no flag or like a fifa flag or whatever and they couldn't be called russia so in the the world war it would be like no team everyone under white flags which was confusing during the war And on the pitch Which side are we on? They did shirts and skins Winston Churchill fell down some stairs Saram went for that, that was Dave Warnicky Sorry Saram

Meaning the correct answer was Jerry Springer was born Oh my god In a train station that was being used as a bomb shelter During World War 2 Yes he was born on Galentine's Day. Really? Is that why it's the first Galentine's Day? That's so nice.

So that means- Wow, that's so funny. Jess gets a point, House gets a point, and Dave gets a point. Thank you. We're going to the last question. We always end with a movie synopsis question. Can I have quadruple points? I'm going to have to go to Dave and Sam. I'm still a show. Please. I don't want to make any enemies here. Can I have quadruple points? I'm going to have to go to Dave and Seren.

I'm still a show. Please. I don't want to make any enemies here. Can I? Go on. Quadruple points. I'll give you the score update and see if you think this is fair. Seren's on two points.

No, I don't think that's fair. Jess is on five points. Dave's on five points. The house is on seven points. Yeah, so give me quadruple. I mean, I feel like if I was giving anyone quadruple, it'd probably be Seren. Okay, fine. You've already got one pity point, which has got your update cool. Fine. Seren gets quadruple. I mean, I feel like if I was giving anyone quadruple, it'd probably be Seren. Okay, fine. You've already got one pity point, which has got you up to a cool

second. Fine, Seren gets quadruple points. We're all in agreeance. Thank you. Yeah, we all agree. Alright, this one comes from XZNeil from Wisconsin. Okay. And the question is, what is the synopsis for the 1998 film, Everyone Loves Mel? I don't know who Mel is.

What year? 1997. 98. And while your answers are being written, here's some more info about Jerry Springer's birth. According to Neil Genslinger, writing for the New York Times, Gerald Norman Springer was born on the 13th of Feb 1944 in London in an underground station that was being used as a bomb shelter during World War two. It's not as dramatic as it sounds he told the Chicago Tribune in 2007. Because of the bombing women who were in their ninth

month were told to sleep in the subway stations which were set up as maternity wards. His family relocated to the United States when he was five. He was elected mayor of Cincinnati in 1977 and in 1982 he ran for governor of Ohio. He finished third in the Democratic primary and made a career change, joining WLWT-TV in Cincinnati. First as a news commentator, he later became an anchor and managing editor. Over the next decade, he won or shared multiple Emmy awards for local coverage. The Jerry Springer Show, a daytime talk show which was syndicated by Multimedia Entertainment, began in 1991. Originally, it was an issue-oriented program. The LA Times called it

an oppressively self-important talk hour starring a Cincinnati News anchorman and former mayor. By 1993, however, lead-ins like Worshipping the Lord with Snakes, Up Next, Jerry Springer, were turning up and the shock value just kept going up. The talk show universe had by then become something of a free-for-all with hosts like Montel Williams and Sally Jessie Raphael also serving up salacious content. Mr. Springer, though, did it better and more outrageously than anyone else. His viewership peaked at about 8 million in 1998,

which is the same year as the classic film Everyone Loves Mel. All right, the answers are in. Here is the final question worth triple points and quadruple points for some. Seren. Come on, Seren. Do it for us, Seren. I'm going to choose Seren's and I think I'll know it. It'll be long and silly.

Probably mention rocks. Quadruple points. It'll be a callback to every question we've had so far. I'm going to pick it. All right. Here is the final question.

What is the synopsis for the 1998 film Everyone Loves Mel? Mel Horowitz has the perfect life, a great job, great apartment and the perfect fiance.

But after a run in With a mysterious Old woman on the subway Mel's life Starts to unravel Around her Oh I like it I like that too

Option two A shy Fledgling car salesman Named Mel Has never had much Luck making friends That all changes After he saves

A magical talking mouse That grants him His wish To make everyone Love him Now the only question is That's great. A great family, a great job, and lots and lots of money. But Mel is living a lie. Will his world fall apart when his family find out the truth? Or will they stand by him? When Bill's grandsons come for a summer visit, they stumble into a big-time adventure with a giant turtle named Mel. When Bill's neighbour Bailey tries to kidnap Mel in order to feature him in a proposed theme park, the grandsons plot to hide

Mel from their neighbour. Shortly after Mary's father died fighting in a devastating fire, a lovable mutt named Mel enters the Robinson's life and teaches the community to love again in this feel-good tale. That's nice. Or finally, in this much-awaited sequel,

Mel, a much-loved scissor sharpener, spends her last days tracking down the travelling circus, hoping to find three barbers named Ian and return them to their barbershop glory. I don't need you to reread them. I'm locking that one in, thanks. You're locking the final one in? Yes, please. Yes, I am.

Okay, Jessica, that. Dave, what are you thinking please You're going to give that one four points are you Yes I am Okay Jessica that Dave what are you thinking I'm going to go for Talking Mouse Talking Mouse Is there enough Mel to go around Yeah that's beautiful Yeah so can you read him one more time Sure

Mel Horowitz Has a perfect life Great job Great apartment Perfect fiance Runs in on a mysterious old woman on the subway That's a good one I reckon Shy fledgling car salesman

Meets a talking mouse Mel has it all Great family, great job Lots and lots of money But is living a lie Bill's grandson's come over for a summer visit And there's a big turtle that gets kidnapped Mary's father died fighting a devastating fire

Is the turtle named Mel? Or is there no reference to Mel in that one? Turtle's name is Mel. Yeah. Locking in the giant turtle. That one was the most batshit. All right. Here's who wrote the answers.

Shortly after Mary's father died fighting a devastating fire, the lovable mutt Mel. That was XZ, aka The House. That's one of the best movies of all. Mel has it all. Great family, great job and lots and lots of money. That was Dave Warnicke. That's right, Jess right I think you and I Might be on a similar page

What do you mean About Mel Why you don't know Mel Horowitz has the perfect life Great job Great apartment And the perfect fiance That was Jess Perkins

First name I thought of Was Horowitz Wow That's a great name Mel Horowitz I agree Yeah I'd watch the shit out of that

Hung over on the couch On a Sunday afternoon Heaven Jess you went- I'd watch it any time, okay? Jess went for the much-awaited sequel about the scissor sharpener. I feel good about this. Sorry, that was Seren Jayamana.

Oh, my God. Quadruple points for Seren for that one. Well done, mate. Dave went for a shy fledgling car salesman who ran into a magical talking mouse. That was XZ. shy fledgling car salesman who ran into a magical talking mouse? That was XZ. Meaning the correct answer is

the big time adventure with giant turtle named Max. Two times quadruple points. The perfect round almost. Wow. So, okay, I'll tabulate the scores. But in the meantime, let me tell you quickly about this film.

Everyone Loves Mel was directed by Joey Travolta, John's older brother. He's older brother Joey. And stars Ernest Borgnine. Oh, yeah, from McHale's Navy. XZ writes, if I remember this movie correctly, and I've seen it three times now, Mel is a giant turtle from the Galapagos that Bill brought to his North Pacific home. He feeds it exclusively pancakes and then does calisthenics every morning in front of it on the lawn. Mel's head looks like an uncircumcised penis

and at the end, when the kids are about to fall over a giant waterfall out of nowhere, it is revealed that the turtle can fly and saves them before they hit the spiky rocks at the bottom. Also, just as a credits roll and the family say goodnight to Mel, Mel speaks for the first time, also wishing them a goodnight. That sounds like... Perfect film. Sounds like a perfect film.

Sounds like a perfect film. On Letterboxd, Rachie Rachie wrote, I made an entire bus full of marching band college students watch this on a 26-hour drive to Florida, and now I'm convinced that at least half of them want me to die horrifically. Does that marching band know that planes exist? Yeah, that's a long drive. A 26-hour drive cannot be more efficient than a flight. How's this next line, though, in the review?

This was accidentally the last movie my grandpa watched before he died. Accidentally? Is it implying that's what killed him? Oh, my God. A missing grandpa? Then she says to finish, Someday I will drug all of my closest friends Transport them to a secluded cabin in Alaska on a golf cart

Like in the movie And force them to watch this movie with me Best movie ever Whoa Okay She's pretty full on Yeah That's an intense person

And I can be a little intense But that's a bit much That is a lot That feels like a lot A bit that's a bit much. That is a lot. That feels like a lot. A bit much. Yeah, a bit much. Can we do a score check? All right, final scores.

I'm excited. On five points, it's Jess Perkins. On five points, it's Dave Warnicke. Wow. I scored more than five points in that round. On ten points, it's both Saran and the house. Oh, it's a tie. It's a tie.

Well done. Tie for equal first and equal third. Do you have a tiebreaker's a tie Tie Tie For For equal first And equal third Do you have a tiebreaker Or no that's it No tiebreaker We both win We share the medal

Like those two Olympians Why can't we be tied second So that ends the streak I don't know Because I think because Just make a second Alright tied second

Hooray Well done Mel We did it What a team effort That was beautiful Thanks so much for joining us On this first birthday special. Where can people find you, Seren?

Good Tucker is on SBS On Demand and also on Instagram at Seren Comedy. So good. Dave, how about you? Bookcheat, my podcast where I cover classic books so you don't have to, is back most recently covering The Bell Jar. Who was your guest on that? My wife. That's how desperate he's getting.

He can't get any actual guests. She was great. He has to go for nepotism. Yeah, yeah. No, she was great. Personally, I disagree with Jess. I think Ella is a fantastic guest. And I disagree with what Jess just said on pod,

but also what she said off mic about Ella I'm going to change your name in the group chat to Kiss Ass Francois Kiss Ass Don't mind it Anyway, and people can find me at DoGoOnPod Or I'm about to hit 16,000 followers on Instagram So get on there because 16,000 people can't be wrong And that number's trending up

What's the recent DoGoOn episodes been great like The St Kilda Football Club history because 16,000 people can't be wrong. And that number's trending up. What's the recent Do Go On episodes been great? Like the St. Kilda Football Club history, which is our longest ever episode, nearly five hours. Yep. That might sound good to someone. Check it out. There's plenty of shorter ones if that sounds like you.

How was that for you guys? I was not there. I was there for all six hours of the record. So we got a bit. We chopped an hour out. Thanks was there for all six hours of the record. Oh, okay. So, we got a bit. You chopped an hour out. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Thanks so much for joining us, you three. Please give us a five-star review.

What a great birthday present that would be. And tell your friends if you think anyone you know might enjoy it. And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Thanks. Thanks Which means it can go anywhere Exactly So he's just pissed on the floor And then he's just asleep on a cushion

Who are we talking about? Dave again I hate it when the grass is dry He hates it Evan are you going to stay in and watch over our shoulders? Uh, no. Can you? Here for the piss chat.

Thank you, Evan. I'm correct in saying that. Thanks so much, Evan. But also, fuck off. He rolled his eyes at me. Can you believe it? I think that was right. I think you took it seriously. You can sort of You can hear the handling

A little bit So just Oh yeah Be like Slightly wary of that Dave I think Your ideal look Would be shaving down

To a 90's heartthrob Goaty You know Like Skeetle Rick I was going to say He is seconds away From mentioning Skeetle Rick

Skeetle The rich man's Johnny Depp Who I have no association with Outside of Matt talking about him Oh you gotta watch Riverdale You gotta watch Scream Oh wow So Skeet Ulrich's still starring in things

Oh yeah He's Jughead's dad in Riverdale Is he a teacher? Oh I don't I think he was like Did he play like a reverend in some show About a spooky reverend? A spooky reverend.

Yeah, maybe. A spooky rev. Should we start the podcast? Yeah, I reckon probably. I've had enough. Jess just flipped me off. Okay. It's going to be one of those kind of games, isn't it?

It was a visual thing. You didn't have to narrate it. I like everyone to know what you're like. Off mic. You sound so sweet. I am am but your hand just a little fuck your hand gestures are unforgivable they are obscene you'd be cancelled if people could see your fingers happy birthday humphrey happy birthday still not true so Humphrey. Happy birthday, Humphrey. Still not true.

So Humphrey's birthday lines up with the birthday of who knew it. With Matt Stewart. Wow. Absolutely. You're right. It's beautiful. That's nice. We were all thinking it.

I don't know how I would feel if somebody described me as uncommon beauty. Yeah. It doesn't feel like a compliment. It's like somebody like, you look a bit weird, but I'm weirdly attracted to you. Yes. It's like, you know, she's unconventionally beautiful. I hate when people say that.

It's like, I want to fuck her, but I can't figure out why. She's so perplexing. I want to fuck her, but I think I'll be judged for it. Yeah. But I don't want any photos but not this time not this time polarize only you'd throw them a what a five six star review i only do uh the lowest i'll do is like a three and a half usually everybody gets a four to be honest yeah i'm i'm a uh the lowest i'll do is like a three and a half usually everybody gets a four to be honest yeah i'm i'm a reviewer if i don't like it i'm not reviewing it i'm not giving you a one or two what the fuck do i know hey it's also like going out of your way to give

people a shit review seems like a weird thing to do yep uh i'm not saying that to anyone in particular or anyone who might have reviewed me in the past. I'm certainly not bitter about it in the system. I'm just saying, review like I review, you know, taxis and Ubers and stuff. Anything less than the worst experience in your life, five stars. Unless I feared for my life, five stars. But then you read the review and you realise that they do have that system and that you're out of comments. That's true.

They feared for their life. Oh. Oh, my. She's crazy. I thought she was going to kill me. Oh, my God. If you fear for your life, still four stars? Yeah, probably a four and then, like, yeah.

It's only if you lose your life, it's a zero. No tip. They had three. No tip, had three No tip That's for sure I don't want to be too negative Chump is a Is it dog food?

Is that chump? Chum Oh chum Oh is it chump? No I think it's chum You're right it's chum So chump But it's so chumpy

You can carve it No chunky Yeah Do you think they could change The lyrics for next year's election that they could change the the lyrics for next year's election and they could change it to trump and that could be his campaign song yeah and then he gets some sweet coin i'll come if if they do play zoe let me know i'll come up to epic new south wales to catch bricks of uncommon beauty for sure probably an easy gig to get the trump

campaign that chump that's one of my favorite ads of all time. Remember that ad where there's a guy driving along and there's a little Scotty dog on the side of the road and their door opens. We don't see the guy but he goes, Lost dog fella. Come on, hop in. But he says it with a Scottish accent. Lost dog fella. You really lose it

after that though but the lost dog fella you're doing well. Thank you. But the rest is dog shit. I reckon the Scottish listeners will agree that I did fantastically at that first bit they're taking their headphones off

they're like is somebody talking to me sorry a fellow Scottish person I knew Stuart was a Scottish name but I never put the two together

I'd love to show you one of the ones that I've written I'll do a quick change but that's amazing. One letter different. That's so good.

What do you mean? Oh, no, no, no. I don't know how that happened. Just for the listeners at home. It was definitely Jess who kicked over a coffee then. No, I think it was the lead. I blame Francois Big Peen for that, Dave. So really, that was you.

Where did you pull those from? Pocket? They're from my pocket, yeah. Well done. Dave's always ready. Listeners to DoGoOn will know that Dave is always ready to spring into action with a spill. Once I knocked a bottle of water onto my laptop and Dave was up like a flash. Oh, you've got more.

While I was making peace with the fact I've lost my computer. Yeah. Dave was quickly saving it. Flew into action. He's done the same with this little patch of carpet. I was about to put it in the bin. He saved the day dave i think if we had a nickname for dave you know like that would be dave the day saver yes i agree and yours would be jess mine would be ross ross yours would be jess big peen

bastard jess Ross. Ross. Yours will be Jess Big Peen. Bastard Jess. No, it won't be ours. It'll be Bastard Jess. I'm Bastard Paul. I'm Ralph the Ass Hair. I'm Francois Peen. No, Francois Big Peen.

Francois Common Big Peen. You're just Francois Peen. Can I be Francois Bigen. No, no, no. Francois Big Peen. No, no. Francois Common Big Peen. You're just Francois Peen. Can I be Francois Big Peen in the chat? Nah. I won't lie in the chat, mate. Just label him Francois Peen. Yeah, Peen. I'm on it.

These will be all out. What's our band's name? Oh, Just in the House. So these are, you know, some bands will get their own names joey ramones stuff like that in the ramones we all have a surname peen i'm rick peen rick peen is awesome that's so good rick peen holy shit that's a rock star how do you spell francois again f-R-A-N-C-O-I-S. Yes. Probably with a little flick over one of the letters. Francois Peen.

And Dave's going to be Rick Peen. Rick Peen. I'm saying Bastard Paul. Bastard Paul is a great name for a punk rock bass player. Oh, for sure. Oh, that's Bastard Paul. So is Rick Peen leading man energy? Seren, what's your name in the band?

Lee Ross. PGH Brick. Maybe. Yeah, Ross. You're a brick of uncommon beauty. Snarge and orange. Or starch. Snarge.

You were very efficient. Yeah, thank you for saying that. All these two fucking slowpokes over here. Honestly, can I say, Jess, you have been quick, you've been concise, and your answers have been consistently of a very high quality. Matthew! That's very kind. Thank you.

I don't know how you do it. Laziness. Are you cheating? Are you cheating? You brought them all pre-prepared. I'm just copying and pasting, mate. Don't worry about it. Do you have any feedback for Dave?

His answers have been long. They've been silly And honestly He's really dilly dallyed Well blame the AI that I'm using okay Jess I haven't had an original thought in about 7 years So Dave your dog is turning how many today? How many?

I'd say that like a child Your dog is turning how many? How old is Humphrey turning? Humphrey is four years old today. The listeners want to know, Dave. He's four. The listeners deserve to know. We've bought him a stuffed toy that we're going to give him as soon as we get home.

What is it? What's the stuffed toy? It's a stuffed little teddy bear. So cute. It's made of supposedly impenetrable fur that he won't chew apart in about six seconds. Bullshit. He absolutely will. He absolutely will. He absolutely will.

Yeah. Four years old. Wow. They grow up so fast. They do. Does dogs sort of get to their adult size in a year or something? Is that right? How long are they?

A puppy four? Yeah, he grew full size within a year, but then- They're pretty puppyish for a couple of years. Very much was hyperactive for a long, long time. He's maybe starting to calm down only just now. Oh, it's not just size. It's like temperament and energy is also- Goose has calmed down in the last few weeks, and he just turned three.

And just as he was approaching his third birthday, I was like, you're mellowing out, dude. Did you tell him to pull himself together? Yeah, I had a word with him. You're three now, mate. I was like, stop embarrassing me. Other dogs look up to you himself together? Yeah, I had a word with him. You're three now, mate. I was like, stop embarrassing me. Other dogs look up to you, okay? Okay. You're a role model. Alright. Start acting like it. Okay? Or I'll take away one of your beds.

You don't need four. You are one dog. That's a lot of beds. Yeah, it's too many beds. Will Bill's grandson... When Bill's grandson's come for a... When Brill's... When Brill's... As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause,

causing the risk of heart disease to go up.