Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 56 - Joel Duscher and Joel Zammit (Plumbing the Death Star)

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests Joel Zammit and Joel Duscher (Sanspants Radio's Plumbing the Death Star!)!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Daves' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and our guests this week are from Plumbing the Death Star.

It's the two Joles, Zamit and Dusha. It's good to be one of the two Joles. It is. You are one of the two. If I think of the two Joles, I think of you two. Yeah. And just to make it clear for listeners, just so doesn't get confusing I'm Joel and that's Joel The person speaking now, this is Joel

And this is Joel So hopefully that clarified things Yeah, you should be able to follow this very easily I think I might refer to you by surnames Why? I don't understand That doesn't seem like I'm quite the two

We're the two Joels You are the two Joels Joel number That's insane Joel one and Joel two Yeah And that's like a level of competition Joel's. Not like Zabit and Thush. That's insane. Joel 1 and Joel 2. Yeah. And that's like a level of competition. If you could just refer to us both as Joel 2.

Yeah, yeah. We'll figure it out. Equal. Yeah. Well, you've both been on before, but I'll explain to new listeners. The way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answer as well as the real one,

and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Rachel Rook from Sydney, and the question is, what does the Scottish word kerglath mean? What does the Scottish word kerglath mean? While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works so you get one point if your fake answer

is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer and by the way I'm also playing as the house and I've put two of my own fake answers in with the help of the question writers and I get a point for each one of these that our guests choose so each of us can score up to two points per round which seems fair

but the probability actually favours me the house and the house always wins so if you've listened to most of the back catalog of this show you'll know that is kind of rarely the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question sign up to our our podcast network patreon which is patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes all right the answers are in here is question number one what does the scottish word kerg laugh mean the shock you feel when you plunge into cold water that sounds nice when you go cow tipping but the cow falls on you the noise you make when you choke on your own laugh an old drink known for causing aggravation or the feeling of being full but still having room for dessert. Hmm. I think I can just like the last one doesn't seem very Scottish.

No. I can't imagine a Scottish person saying dessert for some reason, which is not right. Like, I don't know what he's doing with that. A Scottish person saying dessert? No. No, no. They're like, more meat, please. Aren't they famous for deep fried Mars bars? Yeah.

They're famous for deep fried everything, right? Dessert. The moment it's deep fried, though, again, in my brain, I'm like, that's not dessert. Okay. I'm trying to think how you could desertify a haggis. Like, if you added, like, raisins. Yeah, raisins and roll it in cinnamon Yeah yeah yeah And then just all in a sheep's intestine

And pour a little bit of cream on top But the sheep's intestine Has been candied I don't know how that process works What about a toffee apple haggis Oh yeah Nice and hard on the outside Soft and haggisy on the inside

Yeah All this dessert talk Has made me immediately forget Every answer you just said I don't think it's a dessert one Because it just feels wrong So you've got Working backwards

From the dessert one You've got Old drink known for causing aggravation Noise you make when you choke on your own laugh Maybe When you go cow tipping but the cow falls on you Or the shock you feel When you plunge in the cold water

I'm leaning towards one Because Scotland is cold and does have water Yeah I'm leaning towards that too But that's maybe because I want to be there Yeah It's very hot in the studio Have we said that? I don't know

Look Just to time stamp this It's very hot in the studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have we said that? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like this- Last five minutes of blur. Look, just to timestamp this, because people are probably like, oh, this has been recorded either very late at night or like silly early. It's 1pm on a Friday. This should be- We should be at our peak form. It's 28 degrees outside.

Oh, okay. You know what? I take it all back. Cow tipping isn't a real thing apparently like as in people didn't actually do it so that makes me think that it's not that one yeah and that's why there's no term cow tipping because it never happened no but it's like why would there be a term about something that never happened yeah you're right we never we never name a thing for just a fictional event But there wouldn't be like

A name for a fictional Like That's a hat on a hat Yeah yeah Like Unless it's like Unless it's like Gaelic or

No wait what's Gaelic Is that What's Scottish or Irish Yeah It's definitely Irish But the And you know

Is Scottish It's Scottish You would never What do the Scots say? They speak They've got Scots It's like a dialect Yeah

But you know The thing you were saying there About the hat on a hat People don't put a hat on a hat And that's why there's no term for it Yeah Oh yeah That's a good point

That's a good point No sayings Anyway I think I will lock in The feeling of jumping in cold water. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would also like to do that, but just to be different.

Let's see. So it was cow tipping, choking on your own laughter. I'm going to be choking on your own laughter. Choking on it. Yeah, why not? Kirk laugh. Oh, it's definitely not that one. Yeah.

It's definitely not that one. You have fought. You fought for the oldest trick in the book Which is an answer that sounds Suspiciously too close to the question I just didn't want to do the same one as you What do you want to lock in Let's go with the drink one then The drink one an old drink

Alright lock in my answer Here's who wrote the answers The feeling of being full but still having room for dessert That was the house of me You know I've been toland i've had dessert there okay yeah what kind of dessert though was it a dessert they imported floated from italy now that's a dessert yeah yeah yeah tiramisu oh my god gelato oh The noise you make when you choke on your own laugh. That was Rachel, okay, the house.

So close to getting a point for the house there. So close. When you go cow tipping but the cow falls on you. That was Zamet. I don't know. I thought that was fantastic. Yeah, I saw you have a bit of a chuckle. It was good.

And then we had an old drink known for causing aggravations. That was Dusha. Meaning Dusha got the correct answer. The shock you feel when you're plunged into cold water. Yeah. Yeah. And then we had an old drink known for causing aggravations. That went for that. That was Dusha, meaning Dusha got the correct answer. The shock you feel when you're plunged into cold water. So you've started hot. Yeah, which is, it's good. Because that's how my brain's feeling. So after one round, it's Xamarin in the house yet to score,

but Dusha out in front on two points. Nicely done. So we're up to question number two now. This one comes from Diana Chomack from Vancouver Island in Canada. The question is, which of these is a real type of butterfly? So you've just got to come up

with a fake butterfly name. Which of these is a real type of butterfly? And Diana is a biologist. And she sent me through a heap of different options for this. I'm going to be dipping back in a diet. Okay. The Vancouver Island well over coming weeks, I think.

While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on kergluff. Rachel writes, the word is from Scotland. Rachel writes. Yes, Rachel. Oh, no. The word is Rachel writes The word is from Scottish origin

And was used in the 1800s It is no longer used Which is surprising Given the prevalence Of ice baths these days Great point Rachel And well made Alright the answer is

For question number two Which of these Is a real type of butterfly Oh yeah Purple fig sucker. The flying Welshman. Moon mother. The wilted fly.

Or pomegranate playboy. Okay. Okay. Okay. They all sound fake. That's the thing with animals. Well, not- Okay, animals probably, that's a pretty bold claim.

Because dog sounds real. Yeah, but type of dogs Yeah Shih Tzu Think about it Yeah That doesn't sound real Come on

Blue Heeler What is that Schmitzel I don't even know That's real A corgi That's what happens To my leg

Oh I got a corgi Oh a corgi Um Okay let's see I reckon I can All-mercifully eliminate The pomegranate playboy Yeah

That's too silly For even bug people Yeah And too horny And they're famously silly They're the silliest of people Um Wilted fly

Wilted fly Moon mother Moon mother The flying welshman Purple fig sucker Purple fig sucker Seems too stupid But also a maybe Yeah Yeah And figs What if it sucks on fig Yeah Wait hang on a minute Purple fig sucker. Purple fig sucker seems too stupid, but also maybe.

Yeah. And figs. What if it sucks on fig? Yeah. Wait, hang on. Fig. They're the ones that eat the wasp. I thought you were thinking of Venus flytrap, I believe.

No. I'm thinking of figs. Every fig has a wasp in it. A dead wasp. That cannot be true. Every fig has a wasp in it? This is why a lot... If you're vegan, I believe, you can't eat figs because, yeah, they are made because they require the corpse of a wasp.

Holy shit. I know that that- Wow. You're saying it like it's very true, but I just want you to know- Yeah. I know. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. I'm aware.

I just- This sounds insane. You can look it up in your little machine, Matt. Oh, my God. But- It's a fruit That is also every single one Is also a dead wasp

To pollinate Or to whatever it is to grow They have to have a Now you've thrown pollinate in there They have to have a dead wasp in it to grow around it And that's how we get a fig Do you trust oddbox.co.uk? Yeah. Am I right? It's actually my go-to site. It asks the question

and answers it. Does every fig have a dead wasp in it? Thanks to an enzyme known as ficken that's present in figs the dead wasps are simply broken down and absorbed back into the fruit. But remember, not all figs have wasps in them. Some varieties, including many grown for the supermarkets, don't need to be pollinated by fig wasps. So, it's still... But yes, by and large... That is still pretty wild.

It's so wild to me. Even though it's not all of them, the fact that any of them, even if one fig one time had a wasp in it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you got to understand, that's as crazy to me as, like, if I was like, hey, do you know that, like, every apple has a dead frog in it? Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

I'd be like, what are you saying? I don't know why this, yeah, but again, I guess without agriculture and us farming, but yeah, I guess prior to all that, how we got a fig was if, I guess, a was us farming But yeah I guess prior to all that How we got a fig was if I guess A wasp fucked up But ate by a plant like an idiot That is yeah That is blowing my mind So I don't know I think a butterfly eating a fig

Is a hat and a hat Something that there is again famously not a term Not at all I think sucker Because it would be like fig Fig liquor Yeah you're right Not at all. Not at all. I think sucker, because it would be like fig liquor. Fig liquor? Yeah, you're right.

I can't picture a butterfly's mouth being able to get around. No, it's got a little protuberance thingy. What is it called? Oh, but you do suck through that. It's like a straw. Yeah. Good point. Have I been tricked into coming...

Because this is the thing I always forget about this. I look to my good friend Joel Zammett, forgetting he wants to betray me and make me pick his answer. Yeah. But I didn't do that one because I'm... I'm like, I figured that too much. So, you're ruling out Fig Sucker, you're ruling out Playboy. That leaves Flying Welshman, Moon Mother or Wilted Fly. Wilted Fly, because again, it could be one of them tricky butterflies.

It looks like a fly. Yeah. But it's just like, you know, just kind of all. Like one of those ones like, oh, no, I'm sick. I hope a predator doesn't come. And a predator comes and it's like, ha ha. Oh, I would never eat a wounded fly. And then it sucks its fig.

Hang on. A wilted fly. Was it wilted fly? Wilted fly. Yeah. If it's a wilted fly. So it's all like, you know, if it's looking all mangled. Yeah.

Surely then a predator Is like oh delicious No but that's what I'm saying Like when it's Like it's kind of like It's like the fish In the ocean That's got the light

Where it's like Oh I'm friendly And then you get close And it's like Haha I wasn't friendly Yeah but what The butterfly's gonna Then strike at the predator

Maybe it depends What the predator is I guess Like I think a bird Actually yeah I guess I guess a bird's like Oh I thought you were a fly But you're a butterfly That's fine

I'm gonna eat that That's actually just more food Sick If it was like a wasp or something Or like a Some kind of like If it's another bird Spider or something

I'm like fair enough But like they're choosing a shitty fly The most delicious of all insects That everyone eats Like a frog So I'm gonna Not gonna strike that one out. Flying Welshman or Moon Mother.

Moon Mother and Wilted Fly are final two. All right. Moon Mother. I think I know. You will fly. You ruled out anyhow. Flying Welshman, Moon Mother. Okay.

Flying Welshman is one of those ones where it almost seems too... Now. Too normal. Too now. Too fresh. now Now dumb question Maybe And don't laugh at me Okay

Do they have butterflies In Wales We really For people that have been To the UK multiple times We're making a lot of Big claims about it I'm just like

Is it No butterflies I'm like Is it too cold For a butterfly In Wales A lot of grey there I don't know if butterflies Would like that Yeah I can imagine If I picture Wales And I'm like is it too cold for a butterfly in Wales There's a lot of grey there I don't know if butterflies would like that

Yeah I can imagine If I picture Wales and I picture like an insect I'm going like a moth Yeah I can't even picture a fly to be honest Well you've got a good instinct there Because there are 42 species of butterfly in Wales But 1700 species of butterfly in Wales, but 1,700 species of moth.

Whoa. But then is it like, oh, because there's only so little, many like butterflies, is that maybe that it's notable? Yeah. And it's the only butterfly there that flies. Yeah. The other ones are just Welshmen. They just crawl. Who locked in first

Last time around I think it was me Yeah So Zamit You want to lock one in here And then there's Moon Mother Moon Mother

Moon Mother I'm just thinking Because Moon Mother Would be maybe more moth like But maybe if it's like Because of good night But maybe it's because It's like

Doesn't look like a moth And it's tricking you It's notable again I'm going to lock in moon mother Moon mother it is I hope the other ones I just dismissed like that Is always the correct answer I'm gonna do something

I'm gonna do something that Probably isn't a great strategy Of we collectively talked Our way out of this one But I've come back round and I'm going to lock in the fig sucker Okay you did You fully talked your way out of that It was when it clicked I was like

Butterflies do have like a straw thing They do, a proboscis And I'm sure they love to eat melted wasp Or whatever is going on inside it They love that enzyme Alright well let's go through the answers then The wilted fly. That was Dusha.

Another genius. Just like, my brain's just, I'm just on today. I'm just on. Oh, I can't eat this fly. Oh, it's a butterfly. Oh, yeah. The flying Welshman. That was Zamit.

Oh, yeah. Then we had purple fig sucker, which you went for, Douche. That was Diana, aka The House. You got sucked right into her web. I got tricked by an actual... Biologist. Yeah, biologist. I don't feel bad about that.

They are smarter than me. Yeah, silly, as we said. And for the same reason, so did Zamet Moon Mother, also by Diana. Just laid the perfect trap there for you both. Why a wasp to a fig? The correct answer is Pomegranate Playboy. The one that we didn't even give a look at. Not even like a funny riff about it.

We were just like, oh, it's not that one. Obviously not. Anyway, what were the other real ones? Yeah, I couldn't believe it. That's one of the great names of any animal ever. Pomegranate playboy. Pomegranate playboy. So good.

It does not live up to its name. I was going to say, is it because it's like, say, red and maybe its wings kind of look like a crushed velvet like Hugh Hefner was wearing those robes? Yeah, maybe. Is that where it come It's coming from Not at all Not at all Or is it just like A horny butterfly

It's definitely Like the pomegranate thing I sort of get The playboy Less so Yeah Unless it's about their You know

Behaviour They would need more It's gotta be Something to do with that So This question comes from Jamie Alcantara From London

In the UK. And Jamie's question is, which of these is a real Transformer character? So you've just got to come up with a, maybe a silly or a fun or a real or whatever you like Transformer character. And while you're writing your answer, let the audience know a bit more about Pomegranate Playboys. audience know a bit more about pomegranate playboys according to diana uh it's a butterfly uh that's found in senegal gambia bikini faso cameroon chad sedan chad's one of the great yeah chad is it's an all-time it's one it's gotta be raw i don't know if i can think of a better one right now uganda kenya tanzania somalia uh djibouti yemen d Djibouti is up there New challenger

Saudi Arabia United Arab Emirates Oman Algeria Egypt And the eastern Mediterranean Including Greece The habitat consists of savannah

Including arid savannah It is a somewhat migratory species These are fun facts by a biologist. Yeah. Well, they are shockingly fun. I'm having a good time. All right. The answers are in.

Here's question number three. Which of these is a real Transformer character? Technocrush. Could be. Drastic Scrapper. Sure. Galatrix. Uh-huh.

Sky Gary. Or Optimal Prime. tricks sky gary or optimal prime they all sound both real and optimal prime you're like surely that cup no no they might have been like something yeah they're like oh you've met your match optimus prime it's optimal prime oh shit what do we do now

Or like he gets like a new Like trailer for his truck And he's like I've now become Optimal Prime yeah yeah yeah Was it Sky Gary was one of them Sky Gary Sky Gary that sounds silly Oh wait what if it was like a Witwicky with like A mech suit that had wings

Ah shit Gary Witwicky of course Sky Gary wait what's a Witwicky a Witwicky, of course. Sky Gary. Wait, what's a Witwicky? A Witwicky. The guy, like, they're the human guys. The family is... So Shia LaBeouf plays Sam Witwicky in the movies. Oh, the family name.

Okay, gotcha. Yeah, I could have just answered that, the last name of the human characters. But I took, like, a roundabout way. I thought it was another species. Okay, fantastic. Yeah. Can we get those Transformers again? Yeah.

Sure. Techno Crush, Drastic Scrapper, Galatrix, Sky Gary, Optimal Prime. We have the four. Okay. So Optimal Prime does sound real. Like we were saying, I can imagine them doing an arc in a comic or something where Optimus Prime just gets a new trailer or picks up a sword or something. Or it's the villain.

Or it's the villain. Long lost twin. Yeah. Honestly, Sky Gary not leaning towards that one, I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, to be honest, probably not. Techno Crush is a weird one because

it seems too real. Yeah yeah and is like relatively plain so it does feel like look if I'm allowed to metagame here it does feel like a landmine the house would lay like okay the house is pretty big yeah the house can be devious the house is one of the most diabolical minds it's

one of the most dangerous ones of our generation, the house. Yeah. Serious. And what were the other two? Drastic Scrapper Galatrix. Look, I feel like I, again, falling for the house trap, but I'm going to go with my gut, Techno Crush. Techno Crush. Okay.

Okay. I was also going to go maybe, yeah, I was thinking Techno Crush. Yeah. Just to be different. I'm thinking the Scrapper Boy. Yeah. Sc. I was also going to go maybe- Yes, I was thinking Techno Crush. Yeah. Just to be different. I'm thinking the Scrapper Boy. Yeah. Scrapper Dave order. Drastic Scrapper.

Drastic Scrapper. That could be one like, you know, it's part of a set. Yeah. It's like shoved together and then it's become, oh, it's the Scrapper Kongs. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Awesome.

Can't wait to buy all seven of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, let's go through who wrote the answers Optimal Prime that was Dusha You did some great game playing there You did you did It was good some of my best work You sold it to me

You were just like double checking What's this answer Then Galatrix that was Zamet We both went down a similar path I panic so hard. I literally wrote frog and I was like, no, that's too silly. Frog. Oh, you would hate to be silly on this podcast.

Often the answers are pretty silly. Yeah. Technocrush, which Dusha went for. That was Jamie, the question writer. Okay, the house. Drastic Scrapper, which Zam went for. That was me. I just thought that sounded like gibberish.

So it is Sky Gary. Sky Gary. It is. Transformers. You've done it again. Apparently quite a powerful transformer. Oh, yeah. Of course.

I love Sky Gary. I've got to see where Sky Gary is. I think it's right up there with that wasp fact. When I found that out this week that there was a character called Sky Gary, you should have seen the smile on my face. He's a Gen 1 as well, of course. And what does that mean? One of the originals. He's a renowned cyber ninja.

Of course he is. Sky Gary. He's an Autobot Battlestar from The Return of Convoy. Where I think it's an upgraded version of Star Saber. Yeah. Did you know that his Micro Master partner is Shot Bomber? Oh, yeah. Cool.

Another of my favorite Transformers. All right. We're up to question number four. Hitting the halfway mark here. This one comes from Tom Badger Hill. Let me guess. UK? Yes.

Yeah. Tom Badger Hill. From Rotherham, which is near Sheffield. And Tom's question is, why is former British soldier John Rothwell famous? Why is former British soldier

John Rothwell famous? While you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more info on Sky Gary, even though I think you've nailed most of it. So, yeah, he's part of the elite Battlestars unit and can transform into a spaceship. And according to Jamie, he's Star Convoy's right-hand man. He has a great respect for the legendary Autobot Supreme Commander and was the one who brought Star Convoy back from the dead,

which Jamie says is kind of creepy, but I think it's kind of badass. Yeah, it's... Well, hey, bringing a guy back from the dead, I guess it depends. I mean, Jesus did it. No one ever calls him a creep. I've never heard anyone call him a creep.

Yeah. Famously. Famously well-loved guy, I hear. Yeah, people are writing to him to him all right while you're still rotting your answers let's go for a quick break as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, the answer in.

So here's question number four. Why is former British soldier John Rothwell famous? He has declared himself to be the reincarnation of King Arthur and legally changed his name to Arthur Uther Pendragon. Lock it in. That's great. The house again. It's sneaky. That's how it goes.

I don't use Pendragon. He was the first soldier to be awarded two Victoria Crosses. He was the commanding officer when James Blunt, the singer, arguably stopped World War III His affair with former Queen of England Elizabeth II Or when he lost control of a wheel of cheese while picnicking on Cooper Hill

He inadvertently started the annual downhill cheese rolling race England is a fucked up place I wasn't sure where you were going to go there. I was thinking you were going to say beautiful. England is a magical place. Silly place full of silly people and places. Okay. So there's the wheel, the cheese wheel.

Yeah. The cheese wheel. Isn't that in Scotland? Whoa. I mean, he still could have done it in- Oh, wait, no. Or is Scotland like, we saw your cheese wheels and we just throw big logs? Like cabers or whatever.

But, I mean, the question is why is former British soldier John Rotherall- And Scotland's in Britain. But I think- Anyway, I think they are able to cross the border. Yeah, yeah. That's allowed, yeah. That's allowed, yeah. Currently. Okay, okay.

Well, it depends when he was a British soldier, because maybe not. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. So, the first one we had... Reincarnation of King Arthur. That seems... Awarded two Victoria Crosses. Maybe. Was James Blunt's commanding officer.

Had an affair with Queen Elizabeth II. Or started the cheese rolling race. I don't think he Had an affair with Queen Elizabeth II Or started the cheese rolling race I don't think he had an affair with Queen Elizabeth Man that last one's made me hungry for cheese It's too hot for cheese Well that's how powerful the suggestion was A little bit of cheese could be quite refreshing right now I'm talking about like a really cold cheese A refreshing wheel of cheese I'm going to really a really cold shit. Yeah. A refreshing wheel of shit.

I'm going to really get quenched after that. A refreshingly cool skeleton. Hydrating blue. Spread that on a very cold cracker. I feel like, all right, I'm going to, again, I feel like my brain's going to like gamify with this. So I think that there is too many things in that first one. Okay.

So, the Pendragon one. Yeah, like there's too many. Yeah, I think that's a house. It's too much. I think I'm going to go as far to say not only do I think it's the house, I think it's the person who suggested the question. Tom the Badger. Tom, yeah. Tom with the world's most British name.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah okay second one was the uh first soldier to be awarded two victoria crosses that seems too boring yeah but also very plausible also but what is a victorian cross i would not be shocked again to find out that he does have two victoria crosses but he's not notable for that or like a victorian the first one the victorian cross isn't a thing oh yeah and we've been tricked but the james blount one that's the highest and most prestigious decoration of the british honors system it is awarded for valor in the presence of the enemy to members of the brit Armed Forces. Oh, wow. Has anyone won? Oh, now it's... Yeah, yeah. Can you just let us know? Does anyone think about James Croswell? I was one twice first place. One as well is a funny way to think of it.

An army. Yeah, first place. Then they have a pageant. Get a cop. Although the fact that Matt had to look up what a Victoria Cross was means he didn't write that answer. That's true. That's true.

Doesn't give you anything. Please. Oh, was that a bit of pageantry for him? Oh, that's true. Matt is known for his pageantry. The house is in the game. That's true. As we've established, the house is one of the most dangerous mines and they can

never be trusted. No, I'd never trust the house is one of the most dangerous mines and they can never be trusted. No, I'd never trust the house. They want you to zig, then they zag, or you think they're going to zig, then you zag, and then they did zig. Okay, next. Okay, that's James Blunt's commanding officer. Actually, I've changed my mind. I reckon this is the one submitted by the listener. Yeah.

Because in the inadvertently stop world war three thing yeah that's true what yeah my things have gone out the window uh because uh i remember reading this in a cracked thing oh yeah i cracked i remember that was relevant uh good website commanding officer uh nount was a commanding officer James Blunt, he was in the army And he was told to Shoot on, I think it was Russian troops In Kosovo

And arguably He just didn't do that Woah I know that's happened So this is suggesting that John Rothwell wanted to start World War III. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, James Lunt went against him, I guess.

And then we've got the cheese wheel and then... And... Queen. Liz. Lizzie. I can't imagine Lizzie having sex. So, that one's off for me. I think...

Haven't you watched The Crown? There's this whole scene with John Rothwell. I'm not going to tag along. Philip,avage me Um Johnny Donny boy But you've got to think about

All the leaked stuff That's always come out Like the royals Are disgustingly horny And horny in horrible ways Yeah But if this was true There would be rumours

That one of the kids Was this guy's Oh that's true And I I don't know i i've i've i pay as little attention to the royals as possible but even i would have probably heard about that if they was like oh did you know that charles actually this potential son of johnny rothwell or whatever yeah cheese wheel again the uk is a ridiculous place. It just seems very funny that a-

How can a place be so grey, yet also so full of just, like, magical buffoonery of, let's roll cheese down a hill, eh? Yeah, I'm finished with the army. Let's go roll a cheese wheel. Was it an accident, sorry? Was he tripped or something? Inadvertently dropped his- That's pretty faulty towers

Which again So easily Who's carrying a cheese wheel No sorry I'll read it as it's written Yeah yeah yeah When he lost control Of a wheel of cheese

While picnicking On Cooper Hill He inadvertently started An annual Downhill cheese rolling Why did he bring Such a giant wheel of cheese How do you lose control

How does he do it What does he do it I'm locking in And there it goes And someone's like What a good idea Oh why me How is he doing? What was he doing? I'm locking in. And there it goes. And someone's like, what a good idea. Oh, why me? I've lost control of me cheese, isn't it?

What if we have a race every year, eh, governor? I reckon it's the cross one because that seems the least ridiculous. Going to two victory crosses? And I'm going to go with... And just reminding you that we've had Pomegranate Playboy and Sky Gary so far. Sky Gary's silly. But, like you say, I'll zig when you think I'm going to zig. You have to look it up. You have to look it up.

You have to look it up. I don't want it to be true, but I reckon it's going to be the cheese place Again they are It's such a silly thing Looking at Jesus Yeah looking at the cheese wheel And you've ruled out Pendragon because it's too long Yeah too much information

But the tone in your voice there Matt Suggests that I'm going to have egg on my face No no but I was just thinking You've ruled out That one because it was too long. And you've gone for the only one that's longer than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just double checking. Yeah, we ruled out that one with no discussion.

Just like the pomegranate. No, look, my discussion there is the Pendragon part is the part where I'm like, no. Yeah, but that's what King Arthur Pendragon. Yeah, yeah. That was the name. So if it was. It's too much. Yeah, fair's too much Look I agree with you Way too much

You're going cheese I'm going them cross How did England win any war If the cheese one is true Like they are Through the help of others Yeah like a silly country Such a silly country

And uh Yeah Shout out to all our great English listeners Oh our biggest audience Is also the UK And we've toured them Multiple times

So yeah Shout out to all the UK listeners That have come to this Because they Oh Plum in the dust I like those boys Saw them when they played live

I married someone From the UK So hey you know Damn it's wife's English Yeah Okay Some of my best friends Zammet's wife's English Yeah Some of my best friends are English Some of my best wife is English Alright here's who wrote the answers

So we had The affair with Former Queen of England Elizabeth II That was douche Yeah The commanding officer When James Blunt

Arguably stopped World War 3 That was Zammet I thought it was great work Thank you I tried to sell it But but not too sell it. I think I oversold it. No, I think you sold it just enough. I oversold.

I think you undersold it because I forgot about it. But there's a true thing that happened, though. It's crazy. He was the first soldier to be awarded two Victoria Crosses. Zammett went for that. That was Tom the Badger. Okay, the house. Silly British man.

Losing control of a wheel of cheese. That was the house. Oh, no! The correct answer, he declared himself to be the reincarnation of King Arthur and legally changed his name to Arthur Uther Pendragon. Uther. Dang. I might be saying that wrong.

Arthur Uther. Arthur Uther. Arthur Uther. U-T-H-E? U-T-H-E-R. Uther. Yeah. Arthur Uther Pendragon. dang i might be saying arthur arthur arthur arthur arthur arthur uthe uther yeah arthur pen dragon yeah arthur arthur arthur it's got a beautiful rhythm arthur pen dragon it's like i love a name that sounds like you're falling down the stairs yeah i just love it so much and that's that's one of those ones where you could be having a trembley birch that's the most name falling down the stairs god i love that name so much.

I've forgotten to be keeping the scores. I think the house is doing pretty well. Oh, my God. House is kicking our ass. That's been cleaning up. I think we've had a good negatives, I think. That's three in a row the house has got maximum points. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've

individually picked different house answers each time. Yeah, every time. Amazing. The house is really on today. It really I think it's just because we refuse to believe reality. It's not our fault all of this has been about England and therefore the craziest thing imaginable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sky

Gary. Come on now. So, here's the score update after four rounds on zero points. Yes. It's Joel Twoo. Yes. Okay, Zamit. On two points, it's Joel Twoo. Okay, Dusha.

Yes. But out front on six points, it's The House. Nice. A rare dominant performance from The House here. I think if listeners go back, I think last time I was on the house one as well. I get sucked into the house. It's my biggest rival is not whoever I'm on the podcast with. It's the house.

It's the house indeed. Well, the house always wins. Well, yeah. So, I don't feel too bad. I'm worried for you here because question five comes from Nathan Lang from Edinburgh, Scotland. Shit. Oh, yeah. It's an American-based Lang from Edinburgh, Scotland. Shit. Oh, yeah. It's an American-based question.

Oh, okay. And the question is, what did Kim Kardashian tweet on the 29th of August, 2010? 29th of August, 2010. The 2010. What happened in 2010? 2010. The last drawn AFL grand final. Oh, yeah.

I don't know. I wouldn't have known about that because that happened the month after, but... While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Arthur Uther Pendragon. According to iNews,

he's a former soldier and biker born in Yorkshire, and he was known as John Timothy Rothwell before experiencing a spiritual revelation at Stonehenge in 1976. According to Talmud,

it is debated whether he is serious or not about his claims and titles, but in recent years, he's been re-evaluated more seriously as a founding father of environmentalism as he was speaking up about climate change in the late 70s. He retired from activism in 2022,

but apparently his clan of druidism or whatever they're called is the biggest in the world. And it's got like, I can't remember. They had a few quite famous members. Yeah. I can't think of anything. Yeah, that's, they're very famous.

So famous. Arsehole memes. You can't even. Yeah, they're so famous. They're just like, what was the tip of your tongue? All right, the answers are in for question number five. And I got to tell you, the Jolls need to lift. For question number five.

And I got to tell you, the Jolls need to lift. Oh, it tastes like medicine sucks. This tastes like shit. No, he's right, though. Question number five is... I'm on zero. What did Kim Kardashian tweet on the 29th of August, 2010? Time to break her the internet. She was Italian in 2010. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time to break her the internet. She was Italian in 2010.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cowabunga dudettes. I'm so pumped to be on this surf and kick. Who else surfs out there? Gnarly Day in the H2O. Ride and Waves. That's too long for a 2010 tweet. I hope it's that.

No, that's more than 140 characters, surely. Then you've got petition for a new Mount Rushmore. Step aside, old men. Time for me, Paris, Gaga, and Bay to be up on that cliff face. Again, I think too long. Hi, Tweeps. Who's in the Twittersphere tonight? Let's twinect.

I've had a lot of twine. Or just saw Inception. Wow. Or just saw inception Wow 2010 is a wild time for twitter Cause that's Also like that's the era of Lady Gaga Tweeting what's fortnight

Actually no that would be way later But yeah celebrities just Open their phone First thing that came to their head How many characters were allowed back then? 140. Yeah, every answer's under that. Whoa.

Fuck, again. Fuck. It's shocking that trying to game the show has never worked. Never. Never even worked. I don't know if I should be trying to help you, but I really- I want the gels to lift Yeah I

Okay Trying to game the system Has not only not resulted in me getting points But often Probably is not funny for the listeners So therefore it's just bad all round Yeah okay So let's break the internet

But I'm also I've been trying to help you the whole time And that has also not worked We refuse We refuse No thank you it's time to break the internet

or break it into that the breaking the internet time to break the internet was that like a typo

what I don't know I don't know the break the internet thing wasn't something Kim Kardashian said it was the headline of a

magazine cover she was on and that photo shoot was post 9-11 yeah it was post 9-11 so that was post that was a big day that was a big day well no quite a while post yeah yeah yeah it was in august 2010 yeah so when was break the the internet oh that was that was

like before or after 2010 it was. Okay, so copy that one. Then we have... We don't know. She might have set out a goal to break the internet and took a while to do it. Maybe, maybe. Yeah, because the break the internet thing also wasn't her saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking maybe she lent in, but then it was after. Or maybe the sub-editor was referencing an old tweet.

Yeah, yeah. The sub-editor was referencing an old tweet. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, the fact that this is notable, I mean, none of those are like history-making, but I mean, I do think that I am familiar with this tweet, though. Okay. And I think it is the Twittersphere one. Okay. I'm pretty sure...

It's like, what's that? Are you having twine? Oh, the twine. I forgot about twine. I don't think is the Twittersphere one. Okay. I'm pretty sure- It's like, what's- Are you having twine? Oh, the twine. I forgot about twine. I don't think she would have said twine. I don't think she would have said twine. No. Oh, they might she have.

Twittersphere? Like, mmm. Was she going for a tw- thing? Like a twoo? She's- Kim Kardashian's always been very aware of her brand, and I don't think that the rest of it would be fine, but the twine... Yeah. I do like the idea of her just watching Inception and being like, wow.

Which I was almost about to lock in when you were like, none of these are... They're too long. But now I'm like, if they're all over, under 140, I'm like, okay, they're... Yeah. Lady Gaga. Okay, Lady Gaga. Wait, King Kardashian's it we're talking about. No, no, the Mount Rushmore. It was like Lady Gaga King Kardashian's it we're talking about No no the Mount Rushmore

It was like Lady Gaga Paris Gaga Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce And her Yeah right Was this when they were still friends

Oh they were all Kim Kardashian Kim Kardashian was Paris Hilton's assistant, I believe, prior to blowing up. Really? Wow. How about that? Yeah. So, they were friends for a bit and then they were frenemies for a bit or something.

I don't know. Similar to the presidents up on that rock. Yeah. Yeah. Name them. presidents up on that rock. Yeah. Yeah. Name them. Dare you. Washington. Okay.

Nixon. Yeah, Nixon. A little unlucky to miss out. My favourite president. He'll always be my president. Big fan of his work. Yeah, Lincoln. Jefferson.

I am not a rock face. Is that anything? It's all right. Yeah, that's good. Jefferson. Jefferson. Jefferson. Jefferson.

Is that one? Jeff someone? Yeah, probably. Jeff someone. Jeff someone. Jefferson. Is Jefferson a word? Jeff Kennett.

Jeff Kennett. Is Jeff Kennett there? All right. And then the fourth sneaky other one. Yeah. All right. Inception. Alright And then the fourth sneaky other one Um yeah Alright Inception Twittersphere twine Mount Rushmore surfing

Dudettes And time to breaker the internet I'm rolling out Time to breaker the internet and surfing Yeah yeah yeah You've had a great You've had a great run. I'm ruling out the great battle. You know what?

Based on that, I'm locking the surfing. For real? Yeah, why not? I started red hot. Perfect score in the first round. Sometimes you've got to go against your own instincts. Oh, 100%. When you realize after a while that your instincts are bad.

Yeah. I'm going to go with my original instinct that I talked my way out of. And I'm going to look in the Twittersphere. Twine. Yeah. I really, the twine really does not seem to be well. But the rest of it does. I really, I love the inception.

I love the idea of just her just being like. Wow. It's also like, that's like not a review but that's The type of thing that like celebrities just throw out there When did Inception Come out? It was either 2009 Or 2010 I think Maybe I'll go with Inception

Because I want that one to be true Yeah because it's in between Yeah I just love the idea of like just A pro of nothing Wow Wow Yeah Yeah I just love the idea of like Just a pro of nothing Yeah Wow Wow Wow

Just wow Wow Alright Let's go through who wrote the answers Time to breaker the internet That was Zamit Was that a typo? Yeah

I like you, you are fake Was that a typo? How would I know if that was a typo or not? Maybe we can lean in and be like Oh, she did a typo on the fake. Was that a typo? How would I know if I was a typo? Maybe we can lean in and be like, oh, she did a typo on the Twitter, not me do a typo in the phone. I thought you were just being funny there. Yeah, Italian Kim Kardashian. Like she'd just been playing Mario Kart or something. Italian Kim Kardashian's now our new favorite character.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Petition for a new Mount Rushmore. That was the house. I had no idea that those four were connected I don't think Beyonce That's why I was thinking I think there's like feuds every now and again Were they famous back then?

They were all around by then So Paris and Kim Probably still work together at that point Beyonce Wouldn't be friends with Kim yet Because they become friends through Kanye Oh man Because Jay-Z and Kanye are friends

So you could have ruled that one out pretty quick Yeah But then who was the No so it was Kim Lady Gaga Oh actually and it's pre-Lady Gaga Being like anywhere near as big as those people Oh okay

I stuffed up. Sometimes the house I mean again, bolts to talk shit about the house when I am getting absolutely smoked by it. Especially when you picked who's in a Twittersphere which was the house. So it could have been

it could have been the H2O. Just saw Inception. Wow. That was douche. The correct answer is Cowabunga No! I can't believe it, I thought you'd done it I thought you'd figured out the trick Go for the one you're rolling out first You've done it every single round

Every single round Well it's clearly not that one It's definitely not that one I just wanted Inception to be true so bad. It's easy for you because we roll it out straight away and then don't even go back to it. Like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh, damn it. So, that's a point to Dutra and a point to the house in that round.

I locked it in and I locked it out. Dang, Nelbit. That was, yeah, you were almost on the board there Almost on the board Hey, don't forget though Final round's worth triple points So It's still potentially anyone's game

Zero you say Triple zero That's the number you might want to call Because you're having an emergency right now Is Am I A lot of people got zero on the show? Or am I

Oh no People have got People have got zero I can't even fail good Damien Cow from TIS people got zero on the show or am I- Oh, no. People have got zero. I can't even fail good. Damien Cow from TISM got zero. And so did Saran Jayamana from Memory. There's others, I'm sure.

Were you part of the zero club? Yeah, that's nice. Maybe. Maybe. You could get a ride. Still two rounds to go. Still two rounds. Still two rounds here. You could still score.

You could still win for me. I did get one point. Maybe. You could. Yeah. could still win for me I did get one point Maybe You could Yeah So score update Zamit's on zero points Douche is on three points Bad Front on four points

It's the house Nice nice Here is question number six This one comes from Justin McCain from Pittsburgh And the question is According to historical legend How did Roman Emperor Claudius' son

Tiberius Claudius Drusus die? According to historical legend, how did Roman Emperor Claudius' son Tiberius Claudius Drusus die? According to what? According to historical legend. This guy, he was most famous for being Emperor Claudius' son. He's not super well known outside of that. But his name was Tiberius Claudius Drusus. How did he die? According to historical legend.

And while you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about Kim Kardashian's tweet. According to CTV News, there is so much going on in this tweet. We don't know where to begin. First of all, Kim does not strike us as the surfing type. The woman does not even swim in her own pool. strike us as the surfing type, the woman does not even swim in her own pool. Secondly, the Ninja Turtle inspired surfer bro talk is both hilarious and totally confusing.

For years, this statement sat unexplained on Twitter while we all speculated on what drove Kim to form that particular combination of words. It was a riddle for the ages, really, until Kim finally cleared things up in 2017 tweeting i see people retweeting this from seven years ago uh laugh emoji courtney hacked me and tweeted this is a joke i'm dying saying my old tweets all right the answers are in here is question number six according to historical legend how did roman emperor claudius's son Tiberius Claudius Drusus die?

What a name. As a toddler, he was snatched by a swooping eagle. Yeah, that's good. To prove to a crowd that a competitor's sword was of poor quality, he ran it across his throat, tossed a pear in the air, caught it with his mouth, and choked to death. He got kicked in the head by a donkey after he commanded the donkey to move out of his path, and when it wouldn't, he commanded one of his guards to move the stubborn donkey, resulting in him getting kicked in the head by a donkey after he commanded The donkey to move out of his path And when it wouldn't he commanded one of his guards To move the stubborn donkey resulting in him Getting kicked in the head

Or fell in a hole I want to say fell in the hole maybe was either The douche or the house Certainly under the 140 characters I like that a lot of them are his own hubris So I'm guessing he got got by his own hubris Well the hole could have also been his own hubris That's true

That guy in 300 he fell in a hole But that's Greek Yeah Not Roman No no Yeah he also got kicked in a hole Oh yeah But there's still a big hole

Yeah that's true I also liked how you said hubris I like it Hubris It's good Sounds nice to say hubris hubris yeah because yeah add a syllable yeah it's good that's great stretch out the fun get that burst sound as well hubris oh that's good too um right okay yeah adding a syllable or slurring my words are usually the way the two ways i talk which is you'd think i'd be better at it after being paid to do it for the last 11 years but still hoping one day i'll learn to talk

properly i'm right there with you yeah yeah yeah uh i think i have heard the story of the guy being like this sword sucks and then accidentally killing himself with it pretty funny it feels like something would have been in the book Horrible Histories. Oh yeah. But so is like choking on your own pear. It's a rough day when you choke on your own pear. He's like watch this.

I feel like if he did that though choking on your own pear would be like a saying? No I mean it was the son of an emperor Not the emperor, the emperor did I reckon Yeah Maybe

This is me just talking my way out of that answer Which is maybe the correct one Well that's only happened every time So yeah So yeah I'm like You know fell in a hole Straight away

We're not even gonna address that From now on So it's like Let it be known That's been struck Probably the correct answer Um Your

What you're doing is basically Choking on your own pair Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah the first one again uh snap as a toddler smash by an eagle that's less hubris yeah that's yeah yeah that's just getting caught by an eagle yeah i fear the eagle of course but no i feel if um if that had been true uh we would be afraid of more eagles yeah and that'd be the saying oh no that is also a thing that definitely does happen Yeah it's mostly small dogs Yeah Yeah And I guess back then you got no one like filming on a phone Yeah

It could just be like you know he fell in a hole But you got to fight an eagle I'll give you a one word summary for each from here Eagle, sword, pear, donkey, hole Donkey hole that's good. I'll go with Sword. Why not? Oh, look, I'm still going to stick with it.

I'm also going to go Sword. First time this episode we've agreed on an answer. No, you agreed on a couple of them. I just chose differently. Oh, yeah, that's fair. Your system's been working pretty well. Flawless. Here's who wrote the answers.

Fell in a hole. Now, who did you say straight away? I reckon Dush well. Flawless. Here's who wrote the answers. Fell in a hole. Now, who did you say straight away? I reckon Dusha. You are correct. Can I get a pity point? Yes, you can. Yes. On the board.

Yeah, I think if you can guess which one Zammett wrote now, then you can get a point as well. I think that Zammett wrote the eagle one uh the eagle one was written by the house even when the house isn't even involved somehow it still still gets me yeah uh zamit wrote got kicked in the head by a donkey oh of course Your go to death found a hole My go to death kicked by a beast of bird It's just so funny to imagine Someone being famous for falling in a hole

My original answer was went in a cave And didn't come back out Which is in many ways a horizontal hole Yeah yeah yeah Side hole It's a good hole To prove a crowd To a crowd that a competitor's sword was of poor quality

That was also the house Shit Two points again for the house The correct answer was Tossed a pear in the air Caught it in his mouth and choked to death God damn Why isn't there a saying?

Why isn't there a saying? Surely that'd be a say That was, again, just to go on record I think one that I just like yeah like i had on a hat earlier i couldn't possibly be anything yeah you choke on if you think of a drop your choke on like a bit of bone yeah an apple how do you catch a whole pair i'm guessing what two thousand odd years ago whenever it was maybe it must have been smaller big Or big mouths. Or big mouths. Still tiny throat. Yeah. But yeah, because I had the same thought

of like, it would be, you'd knock your teeth out. Maybe he choked on his teeth. Knocked his own yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

That makes more sense than choking to death on a pear. Kind of like all these guards around him being like, we can't touch the king's son.

Well, he said, look at this. Maybe this is part of his trick. All right. Maybe. So the score's going to the final round. Xamadon won. Yes. Well, he said, look at this. Maybe this is part of his trick. All right. Maybe. So, the score's going to the final round. Xamarin on one.

Yes. Doucher on three. The house out in front on nine. I'm happy about one. I normally say it's still anyone's game, but technically that is not true, Xamarin. I think even with maximum triple points, you still... I'm on the scoreboard, which is arguably an illegal play, but I'll take it. Pity points count.

Pity points count. But Dusha, if you get maximum points here, you can still- Equal. Equal. Nice. Provided that no one guesses anything for the house. My biggest rival. Well, for you to get maximum points, you need someone to pick yours and you need to pick

the game. Oh, yeah. That's true. All right. And here's the final question. So, this is always the longest one. This is the one where you write a short synopsis, maybe two or three sentences normally of a film plot or synopsis.

And this one comes from Stephen Wilson from Glasgow in Scotland. Does it feel like it's been a Scottish heavy? Maybe. Stephen's question is, what is the plot of the 2015 Danish film Men and Chicken? What is the plot of the 2015 Danish film Men and Chicken? I don't know what about the name of that film made me think The Jowls. But when I was browsing through, I'm like Men and Chicken.

I really feel like Zama and Indusha could do something with this. And while your ads are being written, here's a little bit more information about poor Tiberius Claudius Drusus. According to historian Andrew, death can sometimes come suddenly and unexpectedly. Sadly, there are cases of younger people with incredibly bright futures who are on the verge of fulfilling their promise, only to have their future snuffed out, often due to bizarre circumstances. This includes Tiberius Claudius Drusus, the one-time heir to the Roman Empire, who died as a teenager as a result of trying to catch a tossed pear in his mouth. catch a tossed pear in his mouth. Born in 9 or somewhere between 9 and 12 AD, Drusus was the oldest son of Claudius, the Roman

Emperor, who was bookended by more notorious emperors, Caligula and Nero. The boy had an unusual parental situation as his mother, Plautia Ergolnilla, was divorced from the emperor when he was a young child, probably around the time

he was snatched by an eagle, because of her... Oh, no, it was because of her suspected adultery and possible role in the murder of her brother's wife, who met an untimely end after being pushed out of a window. It wasn't a run-of-the-mill divorce either, as Claudius finalised the parting by ordering his former wife be thrown naked against her mother's door. What a strange punishment.

Claudius, are you alright, mate? Yeah, that seems, uh, look. Pretty fucked up? Claudius, I gotta ask you, mate. Is everything alright? What's going on? What's going on here, Claudius? That's a bit of a weird

one claudius i gotta tell you uh despite his mother's murky reputation drusus maintained his role as the heir apparent given his being the firstborn as he moved into his adolescent years he was betrothed to alia junilla whose father lucius alias said you said janice led the esteemed praetorian guard the private force of Claudius. It was a classic case of two powerful families consolidating power by arranging the union of two of their children. It's believed that some did not appreciate the match of Drusus and Aelia although her father was an important military figure their lineage was not a royal one and there was a fear that the marriage would be a degradation to the royal family unfortunately it was a marriage that would never be as drusus

wouldn't live to make the ceremony history doesn't tell us exactly when he died but it is generally accepted to have occurred between 20 and 27 ad when he was somewhere in his teen years just days after his intended bride was announced. His future father-in-law was an immediate suspect. But Roman historian Suetonius explained the circumstances of the young man's death, describing that the emperor Ed, quote, died just before he came to manhood, choked by a pear which he had playfully thrown up and caught in his open mouth. Since he had been betrothed only a few days previously to Sejanus' daughter,

the rumour that Sejanus murdered him becomes less plausible. So, it really was a case of, hey, watch this. Pretty sure on an early episode how someone got killed by being pushed out a window. Well, I think one of the early words was the word for that. Murder by pushing out a window. Defenestration. Whoa. I was about to Google it, but I didn't need to.

Freaking hell. Sometimes I'm smart. I know about windows and wasps and James Blunt events. All right. Here is the final question. What is the plot of the 2015 Danish film Men and Chicken A documentary about Denmark's

Answer to the Beatles The hapless rhythm and blues band Known as Men and Chicken The five piece from Rosskild Endured every hardship imaginable Including their tour bus being struck by lightning On three separate occasions All of their equipment being destroyed by birds

And their lead singer getting his teeth knocked out by Chris DeBerg, the lady in red singer. With one of the best names in the business. How does bird destroy like a guitar? Maybe. Yeah, because, you know, if it picks at the... Yeah, I guess. Are they like, you know?

String? Oh, I guess the... What kind of bird? Like a big bird, I guess. An eagle? An eagle. Maybe, yeah. I guess the Out like the Amps Like Big Bird I Guess Eagle Eagle just Picked it up and Dropped it Yeah yeah yeah

Eagle's like Sorry I thought It was a kid But the film Ends on a joyful Note as the Three surviving Members reunite

To perform their 1973 hit single Havikin Jekylln Cycle What a lovely Bicycle I don't think I Said that right I think you nailed It Hit single, Havikin Jekyll Cycle. What a lovely bicycle. I don't think I said that right.

I think you nailed it. Back yourself in here. Come on now. Another home run for Matty boy. Yes. Did it again. Next option, a recently divorced 30-something, David moves back into his eccentric parents' home where he is reunited with his life he intentionally left behind

while trying to cope with his new relationship status and reconnecting with a life he tried to forget david's parents have another surprise in store i bet it's chicken related um a dark this option three dark and troubling comedy in which two brothers gabrielle and elias travel to a remote island in search of their biological father. Instead, they find their three socially maladjusted half-brothers, Franz, Joseph, and Gregor, who live on a farm and maintain unhealthy relationships with the animals. Slowly, Gabriel pieces together the truth

and discovers their father was a mad scientist who created the five brothers from the combination of human and animal DNA, including one who is 15% chicken. 15%? Okay, okay. Island of Dr. Mo- Now, I know that this hasn't worked out for me in the past. Yes.

But, I think I'm going to rule that one out straight away. I think the 15% chicken, I'm like, that's- Yeah, I was like, you had me up until the 15% chicken. But then again, you know... And like a world movie being about inappropriate relations with animals. Like, I can imagine like a quirky, weird indie drama doing something like that. But the 15% chicken. I'm the doctor.

Come on. I'm striking that out. I might lock it in. So, two more options. Fourth option. I might lock it in. So, two more options. Fourth option, knockabout buddy cop caper featuring the well-known Danish TV cops, Anders Men and Rolf Chicken.

Men and Chicken go deep undercover in an attempt to infiltrate an illicit egg smuggling ring that is responsible for the murder of Copenhagen's most famous omelette chef. Armed with nothing but a pair of spatulas and a thirst for vengeance, the two policemen work their way to the top of the syndicate and finally take on the big boss, a shadowy and mysterious kingpin known only as the Colonel. See, I want to rule out that one straight away. Yeah, that's... But by my history. Maybe it's...

Maybe I love that one in doing. Yeah, maybe it's a Danish equivalent of the bill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like how it's... Because it's also got the guy, coincidentally, his name's Chicken, but he's also solving a chicken-related crime. Yeah. Chicken's a big... Over there, I guess. A chicken on a chicken, a hat on a hat, too much chicken?

There's a lot of chicken going on. There's chicken, there's an omelette, there's a chicken, there's a chef. Nah, 299. I'm going to say no. I reckon it's going to have... I'm going to have egg on my face From a chicken Well the problem is

The first one I feel like I would have heard of it Like if it was a documentary About a failed Like a band Because like I have seen documentaries like that

And quite like bands Where that's happened Like the band Big Star Which Anvil That was meant to be a really good documentary I've never seen it But I know what it is Yeah yeah brian jones sound massacre that yeah yeah um

even like shut up and play the hits the ltd sound system docker that's real good that's not about a band that's uh losing that mind though that's them breaking up though i guess yeah they're like the beatles of new york aren't they yeah the. The Beatles of the New York scene in like 2003. Post the Strokes, but probably, yeah, just before the Strokes come back into being popular again. Yeah. They're in a Strokes sandwich. Yeah. Or the Strokes are in a LCD sound system sandwich.

Yeah. Final option. A comedic interpretation of John Steinbeck's novel Of Mice and Men. Two migrant workers, one smart, one not, are hired to work on a chicken farm with hilarious and tragic results. Okay. So, if I can try and briefly sum them up. We had the documentary about Denmark's answer to the Beatles. Yep. We had a recently divorced 30-something moving back into his eccentric parents' home.

We had a dark and troubling comedy about the brothers who end up being- 15% chicken. Locking that one. Locking that in for that one. Yeah. Dismissed it straight away. Locking it in. You finally changed your ways.

Although you've done that before and- Yeah, yeah. You did it before and you- Well, actually- Knock about buddy cop caper featuring famous Danish TV cops. Anders Mann and Rolf Chicken. That's just too much. Or finally, Comedic Interpretation of John Steinbeck's Novel of Mice and Men.

It all comes down to this. What are you doing with that chicken, Lenny? Maybe the island is the way to go. Maybe after all this, I should learn my lesson. And I should ignore my first instinct. But was my first instinct to think that the band one can't be true because I arrogantly think that I would know what... Your hubris. Yeah, my hubris.

So, I'm going for that one. And you really want me to pick yours. So, should I change? No. So I'm going for that one and you really want me to pick yours. So should I change? No, maybe this is all a bluff and you've picked my one and then I won't lock in my one. I'll lock in the real one and I'll come out on top. Yeah. So should I change? Let's maybe go through them.

I think the of mice and men one was you I think that See I thought maybe the omelette one was you I think We'll do that Just to Just to Make sure Zam is still in the game

You can also get A bonus three points If you guess which So you want to lock in Which one you think is right And which one you think The right and which one you think I think the omelette one was JD the one with the chef

chef one and I think you were of mice and men okay and you think Dusha did the omelette one Which is going to be great if that was the real answer

Because I was like that's too stupid Dusha is a genius And so We just need you to pick Which one you think is right I'm going to go 15% chicken island Yeah I love how you've come together, finally.

Oh, come together. Was that a clue? Was that a clue? The Beatles. The Beatles. It was the Beatles. Danish Beatles. No, the Danish answer to the Beatles, that was written by The House.

In particular, it was written by Stephen Wilson, which is fantastic work from you, Stephen. I love that you wrote, you even got down to naming their hit song, What a Lovely Bicycle. Yeah. Actually, that also, I was like, I haven't heard of this band

and also What a Lovely Bicycle. I know in the 70s we were naming songs stupid stuff, but like that feels like a parody of like, like Walk Hard or something. I don't know what you want to have. But those Danes.

Who knows? They're bicycles. Recently divorced 30-something. Moving back into eccentric parents' house. That was Dusha. You can tell because it's all over the place and doesn't actually say anything. That's true. It was very generic.

So, the one that you thought was Dusha about the omelette, that was also Stephen the House. Oh, okay. Because I dismissed That one straight away Dusha reckoned You wrote John Steinbeck's Novel of Mice and Men And you did

That's fair I did do that So three points there To Dusha Nice nice nice And another three points Because you are correct A dark and troubling comedy

Yes Where they're 15% chicken Yes Is the real film Starring Mike Mickelson Or whoever that famous actor Is

Mads Oh Mads Mads Mickelson Yeah Mads Mickelson or whoever that famous actor is. Mads Mickelson? Oh! Mads Mickelson. Mads Mickelson? No, it's like M-A-D-S, but isn't it like Mads. Meads Mickelson. Mads Mickelson.

Mad Dog Mickelson. Mad Dog Mickelson. Mad Dog Mickelson. So, son. So, okay. I'll just... I've got to tabulate the scores. Give me a second here. While I'm doing that, let me tell you that Stephen, the great question writer from Glasgow,

wrote, I saw this at the Glasgow Film Festival a few years ago. It was very, very strange, but not without its charms. Mads Mikkelsen plays the lead role, and despite having a hair lip, a huge mustache, and giving a performance that can be best described as broad and eccentric, he still smoulders. Such is the power of Mads. And the critics loved it.

85% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Audience give it 73%. Apparently it's a really good film. Hybrid of the Three Stooges comedy and the lunacy of The Island of Dr. Moreau. Charlie Theobald from Little White Lies writes, Hilarious, charming and slightly traumatic. And you can't get higher praise than that. Wendy Eyde from The Observer writes

A darkly comedic dysfunctional family drama Rather than the carnival of grotesquery it could have been Alright, the final scores are in And they may shock you On four points Yes Yes Exam it

What a gomba But in April first place On nine points Of Doucher in the Hell Yes Finally I feel like tying With my rival

I'm taking as a win Yeah So I guess Half the house Because you guys Got joints first I came second Yes

Yeah I think you could Make that argument That's pretty damn good I think at the Olympics You'd get a bronze medal But still No I'm pretty sure It would be I think at the Olympics you'd get a bronze medal but still No I'm pretty sure it would be silver to be honest Because you'd share the gold there

We'd get half the gold You'd get both the silver and bronze I don't know how it works And that's two medals which is better than one medal That's true I'm a double medal winner You guys only got one medal He's got a stab I think actually Samet won

I'm a cleverist. What a well-played game. It was played in the right spirit. As you guys from Sandspans can always be expected to do. Where can people find you? Sandspans Radio. As we've discussed in this episode. That'll all be edited out.

Yeah, any plug. Any mention of what we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. in this episode that'll all be edited out yeah any any plot yeah any mention of what we do yeah yeah yeah you're in a and the first question is like welcome

my two guests today anyway here's the final scores there will be for for listeners who are keen

we do put outtakes at the end not necessarily outtakes but some of the dog shitter riffs yeah that aren't for everyone they'll be put outtakes at the end not necessarily outtakes but some of the dog shitter riffs yeah for everyone they'll they'll be clipped if we started doing that that'd be most of the show if you like the post-credit stuff on this show you really like

which uh recently uh plumbing the death star just joined instagram uh youtube and tiktok i know we're fingers right on the pulse there oh yeah yeah yeah 100%. Which, recently, Plumbing the Death Star just joined Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok. I know we're fingers right on the pulse there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, check us out there. Just search for Plumbing the Death Star. Thanks so much for joining us. Hang around for the outtakes after this song.

But, until then, thanks for tuning in. Oh, hey, a bunch of people have been giving me five-star reviews lately for this show. That's nice. It's been so nice. That must feel great. It feels really nice. Yeah, hey, a bunch of people have been giving me five-star reviews lately for this show. That's nice. It's been so nice. That must feel great. It feels really nice. Yeah. What's it like?

Oh, it just makes me feel pretty good. Damn, that does sound nice. So, while you're there, why don't you give Plumbing with Esther a five-star review as well? And maybe tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy this. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I enjoy this cheers for tuning in to who knew with matt stewart now that you know it i've been matt stewart goodbye uh it's nice how you feeling you're feeling good yeah red hot good to go i'm feeling very funny which is great news for the podcast. Holy shit. Even after no sleep.

Damn. Yeah. Well, yeah. We'll see. I've had a coffee and a can of Pepsi Max today, so I should be right. I have done yoga. I have been for a run. I went then went for a walk.

I had a protein shake with for breakfast and I just had a yogurt bowl with, yeah, like protein yogurt. You had like yin and yang. Greek yogurt mixed in with apples and all kinds of different seeds, maca root. Maca root. Maca. Oh, maca root. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had so many vitamins today already.

Most of that stuff you did, I think I was still awake for. It's just very funny to have just the complete- Two gels. Two sides of the same gel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Vancouver Island? Yeah. Oh.

There's a city and an island? Or is Vancouver an island? Wait. Oh, man. Is the city on the island? That's Vancouver an island? Wait. Oh, man. Is the city on the island? That's a better sentence. I didn't know that Canada had islands.

I guess it would. Yeah. Anyway. Vancouver Island is an island in the northeastern Pacific Ocean and part of the Canadian province of British Columbia. Is that Vancouver? Like, have we just shorthand Vancouver Island to Vancouver? Let's say freaking hell. Yeah.

We're going to have a lot of questions today. It's kind of like when you find out that, like, you know, DC is the District of Columbus. Yeah. And you're like, oh. And Washington State is not. No, no, no. They're on the opposite sides of the land.

And speaking of other things, like, ah, in the UK, Scotland Yard is not in Scotland. Yeah. Come on. What the fuck? Nor is it a yard. What's going on It's chaos there It's like a hat on a hat

It is I've probably got a term for that World's Topsy Turvy Alright I'm on thebestvancouver.com You're taking me on a tangent here It says Vancouver is the largest city in British Columbia And is located in the lower mainland region On the other hand Vancouver Island is an island off Canada's Pacific coast, home to beaches, rainforests and small communities.

It's the Washington DC, Washington State thing again. Yeah. So we have like- That's like if we had- I don't know, Frankston and Frankston Island? Well, it's like if we had Sydney and then Sydney Island, but Sydney Island, rather than being in New South Wales, is in like Perth. Yeah. We must have like Perth. Yeah. We must have one of them.

Sure. We've got so many places. There's so many. All right. Anyway, Diana Chomack from Vancouver Island. Can you name a butterfly? Nope. And again, look, maybe listeners should know something so i've time stamped this we are recording at 1 p.m

i had a birthday party last night yes where i got home just after 7 a.m which you'll realize is not that long between then and now so i'd I'd just like to say that if you're worried that, you know, not quite as sharp as usual, that's probably why. I think you're just still up. You're still on. Yeah. Were you killing it at the party? Oh, yeah.

Nice. You know what time I woke up this morning? I'm going to say quarter to six. Five sixteen. That's- Jeez. I was just booking an uber at that point or considering it what different lives we lead can i quickly just check you two did you grow up as Transformer fans? Yes. No. Okay, well, you might have an advantage in that.

But if you do know the answer, just still write a fake one and don't give it away to Dusha that you know because he'll be guessing first this time. Yeah, I think I can still do some of the lines from the Transformers 84 movie. I know one of the lines from the movie. Shit! Yeah!

Whoa! They said shit in the Transformers movie Oh It's The whole line is Oh shit What do we do now Yeah

That would have got The kids excited That's in the I guess the naughty version The non-edited version I gotta I gotta google Why

Do They Why are they called I gotta Google why do they... Why are they called... I went to paste, which is control V. Yeah, yeah. But I just pressed V. Why are they called V? Oh my God.

We're all having a good time. The listeners as well. i've got some feedback live and yeah they loving this i can't i can't find any further info yeah so we'll edit that out turns out those facts were the funnest available galactrix again that's the same as the optimal prime thing where it's like a galactus may have not galactus he's not what's his name what's the well there's galactus that is yeah are you thinking of oh yeah i was thinking of an omnicron yeah omnicron or um that the virus virus yeah The virus Yeah Yeah Or Unicron

The one that was voiced by Orson Orson Welles Yeah his last role in the movie Orson Welles was in the Transformers movie So was Leonard Nimoy And Judd Nelson Rules It was Orson Welles last role

He died shortly after the film came out Yeah yeah yeah Not related I believe Okay Saw the movie and was like Well Transformers curse Yeah

They're all dead now Yeah yeah yeah Nimoy is Yeah Judd Nelson's still kicking Yep So is Peter Cullen It's only a matter of time though

It only is Time will get them eventually Time and the Transformers curse. Yes. Yeah, do you know what? Just don't worry about the other part. Just focus on that one for now. This is going to come out on Monday.

Do you want to put- We have an episode. Episodes come out every Monday. Couldn't tell you which this one is, but it'll be a good one. You've got to have me back on. All right, come back. Yeah. Like, I'm sitting here by the phone.

Yeah. But it's out on Monday. Yeah. We're recording this on Friday. The AFL Grand Finals tomorrow. What's your prediction?

You're like somewhat of an AFL expert. Yeah. Well, experts. I would say Nuffy, I reckon. Yeah. I think that

after a slow start, Brisbane will run over the top of Colin. Ooh. Brisbane by 50 points. Wow. Okay. I think it will be Brisbane by 50 points. Wow, okay. I think it will be Brisbane by

I don't think it'll be as close as people are thinking it's going to be. I think Brisbane will win by about 22. I'm thinking Collingwood's going to win by 14. I am very, very worried because my other feeling, so I think Brisbane win not a smashing, but just like

a comfortable four four goal win I am scared Collingwood will just Come out Brisbane will not show up And win by like 80 points yeah that'll Suck for everyone yeah It was like last year was that and I was Like you know it's Boring for the neutrals Geelong fans

Would have loved it yeah man if the Saints ever did That how good would that be oh it must be Incredible because the Saints have never Won one premiership and Saints Ever did that How good would that be Oh it must be incredible Because the Saints Have never We've won one premiership And Saints fans Have never been comfortable Because that went

Down to the wire Imagine having a game Where you're in the Third quarter going How fun is this Just have a bit Of a kick and a footy Party time

I would love Just party time In a regular season As an Essendon supporter Sometimes we're 40 points up And still lose And how's West Coast doing? Oh, yeah, real good.

Good to hear. Good to hear. Good to hear. In terms of picking up early draft picks. Oh, nice. I don't think we do that, though, because we traded them off, didn't we? Didn't we? Didn't we?

We cooked that as well? No. Well, that's nice. Your problem, I think what you're referring to is that your academy players at the moment are all also bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so. Anyway, if you want to hear more footy talk, also have a footy podcast oh yeah it's called how good's

footy um yeah it's the most biased footy podcast in the world um we've had burden on a couple of times it's biased towards footy yeah you love footy i love yeah we're very biased towards footy you're never negative about footy oh we're very biased towards footy. You're never negative about footy. Oh, we're also sometimes negative about footy. Perfect. We did it. We did it. We did it. And we've been the two Joels.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.