Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 65 - Ben Russell, Amy Ruffle and Rob Braslin

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode is our first Christmas Special and features comedians Rob Braslin (Deadloch, Rosehaven), Amy Ruffle (Thank God You're Here, Mako Mermaids) and Ben Russell (Emu War, Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff is on sale now and you can find those

tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest was... Our first guest was a runner-up at the Deadly Funny Aboriginal Comedy Competition and has also appeared on TV shows like Rosehaven and Deadlock. It's Rob Braslin. Hello. And you also run a bunch of shows in Tassie.

Yeah, yeah. I run two rooms down home. I run Dimple It Simple, a beautiful cidery down there, and they make wines and other good things. Big art place. And then I run a hot, beautiful comedy night down there just for hot, beautiful people. Oh, my God. Wow. I don't think I've done that one.

Weird. No, you wouldn't. That is weird. One day. One day, yeah. I don't think it's that weird that you haven't done it. Do you want to do it sometime, Ben? Yeah, I'd love to.

Oh, hang on. Hey, sorry. And also, I just learned Tasmania, the indigenous name is Lutruwita. That's right. Yep, yep. That's sick. And you were sayingutruwita. That's right. Yep. Yep. Such, that's sick. And you were saying it's a recently resuscitated language. Yeah.

In the, probably like the last, oh, geez, 50 years, the Tassie mob, Palawa Pakana mob have been rebuilding the language. Yeah. So, yeah, just based off of recordings and like phonetically written little notebooks of some old white guy and they've gone all right we can name like certain things amazing yeah what's the aboriginal word for magpie they got it what's the aboriginal word for whale they got it they're working it out brilliant in an already dark history of australia tasmania has a dark history yeah yeah yeah. Well, I'll see you guys later.

Our second guest this week is part of Melbourne's premiere improv show, Something Funny, and it starred on shows like Thank God You're Here and Mako Mermaids. Something Good. It's Something Good. What did I say? Something Funny. We don't make any claims that it will be funny. It will be good. Oh, no.

But am I saying Mako Mermaid's right? That you got right. So that's weird. And thank God you're here. That's also correct. It's Amy Louise Ruffle. Hello. Full name as well.

Because you didn't always be billed with the middle name. Yeah, I don't know why that is. I think it's just because that was the only Instagram handle left. And now people use my full legal name. And we're just having a go with it. Yeah. Yeah. I love, yeah, I love that we are.

There's a lady in London, Amy Ruffell, who has that Instagram handle and she also somehow got connected to my Uber account when I lived in Los Angeles and she emailed me one day being like, I know all of the places you go, like you need to change this because like I can track your movements. It was a weird way to phrase that my account was attached to her email. But I'm sure she's doing well. I can track your movements.

But anyway, it's not something funny. It's something good. But you got a big show coming up. Is it this week, December 16th? We got one tonight. At time of release. Oh, okay. Don't say that.

You spoil. This is coming out live. I'm not talking about it. The one that's just gone past. That was a banger. That was a great show. Oh, okay. Don't say that. You spoil- This is coming out live. I'm not talking about- The one that's just gone past. That was a banger. That was a great show. Rob was there. That was something funny.

It was so good. December 16th. Yes. And it's a late show, 10.30. Late show. Special time. Silly, silly late show. It's a silly season.

It's a silly time. It's in a silly show. And it's a special- With a special guest, previous guest of this show, Ray O'Leary. Yes. Yeah, that's right. He's never done improv before. show and it's a special with a special guest previous guest of this show ray o'leary yes yeah that's right he's never done improv before and um when i reminded him he had said he would do it he immediately panicked he's very angry that he'd agreed he did thank god you're here that's true so he lies i guess um so he'll be great yeah which yeah that's what improv is all

about our third final guest this week is also part of Melbourne's premier improv show, Something Funny, which apparently they've recently changed the name to Something Good. And he's also appeared on a bunch of TV shows, including Thank God You're Here, We Interrupt This Broadcast, and Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun. It's Ben Russell. Hi, my name's Ben Russell. And can I say that it is great to be here? Yes, I really appreciate you saying that thank you because i think um you know some people see doing a podcast is a real chore they regret i mean i'm not speaking from personal experience but sometimes they regret on the day that they said yes a week or so ago

yeah yeah i didn't know i was going to be feeling like this yeah i don't want to do this anymore oh yeah but you've committed and you're a good person so you grit your teeth and sit through but you're actually glad to be here yeah well i mean i would be lying if i said that for me it's not like obligation because i mean or like oh i better be true to my word because i'm an i'm a known liar yes and a thief and a welcher yeah you welch on deals i do it because i feel sorry for you what's a welcher a pity pod You welch on deals all over the shop. I do it because I feel sorry for you. What's a welcher? What's a welcher? A pity pod. A welcher is someone who backs out of deals, I think.

You welch out of an agreement. I might be wrong. I'm going to use that as an answer in the future. Just look it up to make sure it's not like something you get cancelled over by saying that. Oh, okay. Well, if it is. Connor. Connor.

Connor, the great editor. Please edit that out. And you're also on the big screen at the moment is that right ben emu wars uh yeah i'm on a big screen i don't know where i don't know when but uh i think it's out there somewhere doing still doing the rounds i've heard i've heard words that might be heard word might be uh you know a broader release maybe well now that umbrella have released brolly which is a streaming service for australian film um i think it's probably going to be on there and that's awesome that's but i don't know this that's just me just fucking see it seeing what sits out there and goes hey

what's this you know what i mean i actually record i don't know if i made the cut but i recorded a few lines for one of the emus. Am I in it? That's why he's here and felt sorry for you. I don't know, but I'm surprised you weren't in it because you really do- Love emus. Yeah, but also you look like, you know, someone who likes emus and is out in the bush and is old timey. Yeah. You know, you look like you are in one of them paintings.

She used to say to me Many times That I was I was going to be in it The three panel painting With the guy Yeah At National Gallery Yeah

I saw that painting Yeah the other day I think that's Are you in that painting I'm in that painting Yeah I'm much better at being in paintings That's the problem

Yeah Acting is harder than Standing in a painting Well movies are just paintings But like Moving paintings That's what I call them, don't they? Yeah, moving images.

Movies is short for moving paintings. Moving paintings, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so two of you are first-timers here, and I really appreciate you making the effort. Ben, you like doing it anyway. I don't make any effort. There's no effort from Ben. But Robert, Amy, as your first-time guests, let me tell you how the show works.

I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and have to guess which one is correct. How do you three feel about Christmas, by the way? Because this is a Christmas special. What's that? Oh, okay. That's going to be tricky.

It's like an end of year celebration. Not for me. Okay. We don't have that down home. You don't have that? No. Okay. I grew up in an atheist household.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you celebrate it in a, you know, what do you call it when it's not religious? Non-denominational. A non-denominational way? No. Okay. Well. I just used to get like people would scream at me yeah you know what i mean like people come to our house and say trick or treat your fuck face

yes that's halloween that's a different one oh this one's a couple months later in december i would just get people coming to the house and they sort of throw little chocolate eggs and then that one's easter that one's yeah that's earlier in the year yeah around apr of throw little chocolate eggs and then you know. That one's Easter. That one's, yeah, that's earlier in the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Around April. We had a guy who used to come and say, I only work eight hours today, mate.

Oh, that's Labor Day. Okay. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. That's the one where they go, you can't wear white now, you fuckhead. Yeah. I love that one.

That's a good one. That's where the- That's Labor Day, yeah. That's, I think that's the one where the seasons change in America and they have very specific rules about what they can wear. But that's earlier in the year as well. I think that's around October. But, no, this one's Christmas in December.

Hopefully, you'll catch on as we go along. Anyway- I'm up for it. I'm open to it. Yeah, great. What about the one where we get all the lights? Lights out there. Yeah, that's it. That's this one. That I'm open to it. Yeah, great. What about the one where we get all the lights? Ooh. Lights out there. Yeah, that's it.

That's this one. That's Christmas. Is it? Yeah. What about the one with the old man, bad eyesight, big facial hair? Yeah. Red suit. That's this one.

This has already got off to a weird start, I've got to tell you. Question number one comes from listener Ben from London. That's my name, dude. Oh, my God. Give it back. Fucking English Bens. English Ben. How would English Ben sound? Oh, you skeez me.

Is this comedy got a lady in a dress? Because that's the only thing I like. Oh, my God. You sound really hot. Fit. Yeah. Anyway, English Ben's question is what does wassell mean what does wassell mean wassell could you spell that please w-a-s-s-a-i-l wassell i'm glad i asked and uh yeah it's you know it's a

kind of a vague christmassy connection festivity connection and while you're writing your answers i'll explain how the scoring works so you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer hey by the way I'm also playing as the house I'll put it into a moment I'll put it into a moment fake answer for each question I'll get a point for each one of those that our guests choose

so each of us can score up to three points per round which seems fair but it probably actually favours me the house and the house always wins. Though I've changed the final round, so I don't give as many points to help make it more even. Okay, so stop complaining. No one's really been complaining, and I hardly ever win anyway.

Our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dogoonpod, which is linked in show notes do go on is uh is the sister podcast of this show it's also uh in a couple days time there will be the christmas episode of do go on will come out as well it's a very festive week for us all right the answer in for question number one what does wassail mean the meat remaining on the bone of ham after carving. An unpitted olive left in the traditional Kerstol loaf of bread at Christmas in the Netherlands. The family member who bites down on the wassail is said to enjoy good luck the following year.

A 13th century English salutation wishing health to a person, especially at festive occasions when presenting a cup of drink to someone. Wassle. Ben Wassle. Ben Wassle. Another English character. I'm Ben Wassle. Ben Wassle to you. Ben Wassle to you too, sir.

A small mollusk that grows on the shores around the British Isles are favoured food of locals in Bristol. The shells are used as decorations on hats during the silly season of Christmas. The anti-missile toe, instead of kissing, if two people find themselves standing under a sprig of wassail, they have to have a fist fight.

Or the cap on the tip of the festive cornucopia, typically adorned with decorative tinsels and yarns. We haven't had an episode with three guests in a while, and it's so many to remember. There's a lot. Yeah. And they were long.

Try and do it briefly. Okay. Meat remaining on the ham bone. Unpitted olive, that's good luck. 13th century English salutation. Small mollusk that the shells are used as decorations on hats, the anti-missile toe, or the cap on the tip of a festive cornucopia. Do you know how to go, Rob?

Yeah, I'm going to say the olive. Olive? Yeah. Okay, locking in the olive for Rob. Can you just give me the first three? Yep. The meat remaining on the bone of a ham after carving. Unpitted olive left in the traditional Dutch bread.

If you bite down on it, you get good luck. Or the 13th century English salutation. Wishing health usually is basically like a cheers. Wassil. I'm going to go with that one. Third. Wassil. I'm locking that in for Ben

Which was the one that had Netherlands in it? That was Olive That was the Olive one Oh but you said that You can go the same That's not fun Get on board Or the last one was

The cornucopia Yeah That's a good word I'm going to back cornucopia Alright Lock that in for Amy Okay here's who wrote The answers The anti-missile tow That was the house I'm going to back cornucopia. All right. Lock that in for Amy. Okay. Here's who wrote the answers.

The anti-missile toe. That was the house. Small mollusk that grows on the shores around the British Isles. That was Rob. I actually remember what mollusk was. Remember, remember. The meat remaining on the bone of a ham after carving. That was Amy.

Or Amy Louise, we're friends. Thank you. Unpitted olive left on the traditional kerstol loaf of bread in the Netherlands. That was the house. I thought that one was too silly but you both considered that which is

great fun. It's just Netherlands. Yeah, the Netherlands. Who would come up with that? That's not top of mind for anyone. Nice little detail. It was great. They eat just romink. The cap on the tip of a festive cornucopia. Amy went for that. It was Ben Russell. Congratulations.

Thank you. What is a cornucopia? With festive tinsels. That was a real dictionary. It's a horn. It's like that fucking horn. I think it's a very European thing. Aren't they centerpieces?

Like you'll have a cornucopia on the table? Yeah. And it'll put food and gifts and shit like that. It's a weaving thing. It's made out of like a weaved basket that goes into a horn shape. Right. Gorgeous. As like a euphemism or whatever, it just means like a big array of things.

What an absolute cornucopia. But I didn't know where that came from. Or smorgasbord. Or smorgasbord. Or smorgasbord, as the Dutch would say. That's right. That means Ben was correct. It's a 13th century English salutation. Holy shit.

I'm good at this game. You are good. That's a good one. You are very good because that's straight off the bat. Two points to Ben. Thank you very much. Far out. And one point to the house.

Eat shit, everyone. I'm eating it. Over here, mate. So after one round, Amy and Rob on zero points. The house on one point, but out in front on two points. It's Ben Wussle. Let's team up. Let's take him down.

Well, you team up with two zeros. It's still not doing a lot, Rob, I'm afraid. You shut your mouth. Get a feeling a bit. Put them together. Infinity, mate. Oh, that's true. Or boobs.

Or boobs. Infinite boobs. Infinite boobs. That's our team name. All right. Question number two comes from Jim Bates from Sackett's Harbour in New York. All right, question number two comes from Jim Bates from Sackett's Harbour in New York. And Amy and Ben, as Americans, you'd probably be pretty familiar with Sackett's Harbour in New York.

One of my favourites, yeah. New York State? What's the accent of that? What's Ben from that part of New York? I don't know what sort of New York State is. It's a small place. New York's New England, yeah, I would say. Yeah, I'm not sure. They got strange accents up there in that little corner above New York.

I don't know where Sex Harbor is, but I'm imagining it's like- It is further north of- Almost towards Maine type. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's funny because- New England. New England.

Jim Bates. Yeah, it's very difficult. It's like. No, it's hard. Jim Bates. Yeah, it's very difficult. It's like New York and then like a bit like Boston-y. Yeah, it's a very old version of an American accent. Right. Yeah. Is it like what Daniel Day-Lewis was doing in Gangs of New York?

No. No. No. No. Okay. Well, I'm just telling something now. Is it Mark Wahlberg? Is it doing Mark Wahlberg? Is Mark Wahlberg?

Hey. Hey. Everybody talks like this. Hey. Yo, what's up? I'm just telling something now. Is it Mark Wahlberg? Is it doing Mark Wahlberg? It's Mark Wahlberg. Hey, everybody talks like this. Yo, what's up? I'm from Sax Harbour. Wessel. Hey, Wessel. I'm Russell.

I'm Ben Wessel. I won't speak to shit of a Vietnamese old man for no reason. Yeah, it didn't hurt his career as much as maybe it could have. Calvin Klein had nothing to say. I still got to do the ads oh big bright shining star uh all right so jim's question is what is the name of the neighborhood bully in the film a christmas story so yeah it's a slightly funny sounding name that's why it's this is a question what was the name of the neighborhood bully in the film a christmas story and while you're writing your answers here's some more info on wassell

caught in a dictionary.com wassell is a merry word that means to toast someone or spend a good time drinking with them as a noun wassell can refer to a friendly toast, drunken revelry, or to drink drunk during festive time. Or to a drink drunk. Oh, yeah, okay. Or to a drink that is drunk during festive times like Christmas. Wussaling is a British custom of visiting neighbors and wishing them good fortune or spreading cheer with songs in return for food and drink. And what movie is this? A Christmas Story.

When did it come out? In the 80s, I think. A Christmas Story. You don't remember A Christmas Story? Oh, do you know it? songs in return for food and drink and what movie is this a christmas story when did it come out in the 80s i think a christmas story in the years where is it set christmas story oh do you know it no okay yeah i also don't know it i do you want to know where it's set yeah oh man i mean is that too much do you think you can't be fucked that's from 1983 well i just that isn't that does that limit you too much just Just let your imagination run wild. Yeah, okay, great. Okay, great.

1983, though, so. Names were different then. Yeah, things were different. Things were different back then. The practice of Christmas caroling comes from wassailing. So, people used to wassail from house to house, and they'd take food and stuff. Apparently, it got pretty full on as well.

Like, it'd be, like, basically like adult trick-or-treating. We'll come by. We're strangers. We're here. You better feed us. Otherwise, we'll make a ruckus. We'll eat you. Yeah.

And apparently, there's like, we wish you a Merry Christmas. There's lines in that. So, bring us the figgy pudding. Bring us the figgy. That's what it, it's not like bring us some, let's have some. It's like you better bring us that figgy pudding. Bring us the figgy. That's what it. It's not. It's not like bring us some. Let's have some. It's like you better bring us that figgy pudding or there's trouble. Yeah, we've got a brick up with your name on it.

Merry Christmas. Yeah, yeah. How festive. Christmas bricks. All right. So, here's a question number two. What is the name of the neighborhood bully in the film A Christmas Story? Bobby Blitzen, Scott Farkas, Joe Jr. McGillicuddy, Bobby Slap, Fred Knucklehead, or Ben Wessel?

Man, that's a wild question. Well, one of those fucking- That's- What are you doing, you know? You don't like it when people throw the game, do you, Ben? I don't. You take it as an insult. You haven't seen the film.

You don't know. I do know. How much money have you made winning this game? A lot. About a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.

All right. Now I'm going to play serious. It's mainly back-ended stuff like ad. You would have seen him do a lot of ads. Yeah. He got most of those because of his success on the show. Huge. Yep.

Yep. One more time, please. Bobby Blitzen, Scat Farkas, Joe, Junior McGillicuddy, Bobby Slap, Fred Knucklehead, or Ben Wessel. Do you want to have first dibs at this one, Ben? Yeah, I'm going to go Bobby Blitzen. Bobby Blitzen for Ben. I'm just going to put it out there. I'm not thinking about that one too much.

It's kind of, I don't know how you gauge this one. Just go with your gut. You just got to go with the name. Got to go with the gut. Yeah. Was there another Bobby? Were there two Bobbies? There were two Bobbies Bobby Blitz and Bobby Slap

Oh can I have Bobby Slap? Yeah you can have Bobby Slap Bobby Slap He's all yours What was the Is it Scott Skartzen or something like that? No It's not Scott

It's Skut Skut S-C-U-T Skut Skut Farkas Skut Farkas Skut Farkas Skut Farkas That's so crazy That. Scott Farkas. Scott Farkas.

That's so crazy. That could be real. Also, the McGillicuddy is so like, oh, I don't know. That one was interesting too. I don't know. Because this is the thing. You're like, is it ridiculous? Blitzen's a Christmas name.

Yeah, Blitzen. That's why I went Bobby Blitzen. You went Bobby Blitzen. Yeah, because I was like, Christmas story, 80s, Christmas name. But it also could be a McGillicuddy. It could be something just stupid I'm going to go stupid. I'm going to say Scott Farkas. Can you say it right, though?

How was it? You said Scott. Oh. I can't because I'm struggling to say it. It makes it sound like I'm saying... Hey, Scott. It sounds like a Boston accent. Yeah.

Scott Farkas. Hey, Scott. Scott Farkas. Hey, Scott Farkas. Hey, Scott Farkas. I'm walking here. Oi. Got an apache.

Got a Sephardi. Okay. So, here's the answer. Ben Wessel. That was Amy. And Ben is P.O. I am getting eyeballed through a pair of sunglasses. Big daggers.

Those daggers are coming through me. You should be so lucky to be in that film i you could be earning some sweet sweet old um it's an 80s film i'd be dead by now everyone in the 80s is dead yeah bobby slap is dead i guarantee bobby slap yeah well fred knucklehead that was the house fred knucklehead yeah bit on the nose their house bobby slap which i'm for. That was Ben Wussle. Got you right back. Bobby Blitzen, which Ben went for. That was the house.

That one wasn't so on the nose, was it? No, it wasn't. Meaning Rob was correct. Scat Farkas. Oh, wow. Scat Farkas. Scat Farkas. That's what I'm going to say.

Yeah. So, that means a point to Rob, a point to the house, and a point to Ben Wessel. How good's a point? Well, you did say we were on a team, remember? You should try three. Infinity boobs. Infinity boobs is done. We're over.

Oh, my God. No boobs for you. Turns out infinity does have an ending, and it was just then. Wow. I'll keep my boobs to myself. It's what happens when you're only theoretical. Well. Boobs. Wow. I'll keep my boobs to myself. It's what happens when you're only theoretical. Well. Boobs.

Yeah. At least points. You've never seen a bear? I don't believe that exists. Question three comes from Julie Bai from Iowa in the United States. Julie's question is, in 2022, a Seattle manufacturer released a strange Christmas treat. What was it? Treat or tree? Treat. Treat. In 2022, a Seattle manufacturer released a strange Christmas treat. What was it?

Treat or tree? Treat. Treat. So it's like an ingestible treat while you're writing your answer. I'll let the audience know a bit more about Scott Farkas. Go on, Jim. Scott. Oh, it was a nickname.

Oh, okay. So it's Scott Farkas, but in the movie he's known as Scott Farkas. I love that kind of detail in a bully character. You don't normally get that kind of depth. He's the main antagonist of the 1983 classic family film, A Christmas Story. And the overarching antagonist of his 2022 sequel, Ben. He might still be alive. He's the neighborhood bully who picks on Ralphie Parker, his friends Flick and Schwartz, and Ralphie's younger brother, Randy.

What a great name Randy is. That's an every year kind of movie, that one, isn't it? You got to watch it at Christmas. Is it one of those? Yeah. I feel I've never- Over the- I love a Christmas movie. Oh, yeah.

It's a real- Yeah. They just made a sequel not long ago and everyone was like, this movie came out 30 years ago, it's getting a sequel. Yeah. And they had the original little boy in it and he's like a 50-year-old guy now. Did you- So, did you know the answer? No. No.

It just sounded the best out there. Yeah. Yeah. It sounded fun to say. Randy's such a great name. He's one of the brothers in the movie. There's a player at the moment for the 49ers called Randy Gregory. Randy.

I just think it's- Randy. Randy Gregory. Don't worry about him. randy gregory oh don't worry about him that's just randy gregory don't worry about randy yeah it will you know i mean worry about him but just yeah steer clear of him more to the point uh all right the answer in for question three 2022 a seattle manufacturer released a strange christmas treat what was it chocolate dusted pine cones reindeer jerky reese's eggnog cups oh yellow snow cones caesar salad flavored candy canes or reindeer droppings which are a cluster of peanuts candy canes and raisins in milk chocolate

coating shaped to look like the animal's excrement i I didn't say excrement right there, but I don't think that'll matter. I think you're probably, you wouldn't have even mentioned it. And I won't. I certainly won't be bringing it up. Extra excitement. Extra excitement. Yeah. I hadn't noticed it.

Great. I did, but I was going to leave it. Yeah. You're a gentleman. Would you like another shot at it? Excrement. He did it. Thank you.

Beautiful. That's growth uh i think amy you've got first dibs here okay one more time power chocolate dusted pine cones reindeer jerky reese's eggnog cups yellow snow cones caesar salad flavored candy canes or reindeer droppings which are a nice treat but it looks like reindeer poop. Say the word. Reese's eggnog cups. I'm picturing a peanut butter cup. Man, they sound good to me. That actually would be great.

I've never had that same peanut butter. Like that wonderful. Like powdery texture. It doesn't sound wild enough. But eggnog. Yeah. I think that's a vibe. Sounds good.

I'd dipog. Yeah. I think that's a vibe. That sounds good. I'd dip in. Yeah. The Caesar salad candy cane makes me very deeply upset. Yeah. I saw your face when you did that and it was, yeah, just a cat face. What is this cat face? It went like this. I can't do it because it's radio, but-

Is this radio? Is this on AM? Yeah, this is on AM. We're on 97.2. We both did it though. The biz, FM. We should probably cut to some. We both did it though. The Biz FM. We should probably cut to some ads. I'm also a very good improviser.

Yeah, I am too. You're on The Biz. I'll do the Caesar salad one. Okay, the one that disgusted you. What is Caesar salad? Is that the one with little bits of ham in it? Yeah, but it's in like a creamy anchovy dressing. Oh, right.

Yeah. Okay, that sounds awful like a creamy anchovy dressing. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay, that sounds awful. Hold the anchovies. I now understand your cat face. I think I'm- Even though I didn't understand the term cat face before. I still don't quite get it. Oh.

Reindeer jerky. Reindeer jerky for Rob. Yeah. I'm going to go the droppings, please. Tim. You want excrement? Locking in excrement for Ben. Excrement for 500.

And who's Tim? You. Okay. You're not even going to fight him? You're just taking it? Yeah, sure. Your name is now Tim. Tim Tim.

So, here's the right answers. Chocolate dusted pine cones. That was Rob. Crunchy. I know. Yeah. Well, you canusted pine cones. That was Rob. Crunchy. I know. Yeah. Well, you can eat pine cones. You can.

Can you? Yeah. When they're little baby ones. When they're like only little ones like that. Not on the mainland. They never die. Well, they never die. They never die.

Do you know that? What are you talking about? Pine cones never die. You're a murderer. You dried up pine cone. If you've eaten it, you're a murderer. You're dried up pine cone. It's still

It's dormant And it can Sprout Really Yep So it could sprout in someone's tongue If they eat it You can make a jelly out of it

What That's true yeah You can People like pick the little baby ones When they're like this big And like you know The size of a walnut And then you can

Cook them and stew them in sugar And spread it on some toast Really Yeah But it won't kill them It won't kill them It won't You can't even decapitate them and then you can cook them and stew them in sugar and spread it on some toast. Really? Yeah. But it won't kill them. It won't kill them. It won't. You can't even decapitate them.

There's no way. No, you need- A steak through the heart? No, no, no. You need to- Yeah, they're just immortal. Do you have to invite them in? No, no, no.

I think you're thinking of- Avocados. Yeah. No, avocados are born looking for a place to be. They can only be killed by a blade. A blade can do it. Oh, right. That's it.

Avocados are the goldfish. A blessed blade. A blessed blade of the fruiting world, I reckon. They just die immediately. Yeah. The window of success is so small. Yeah. And I'm always flushing my avocados.

Always. Always flush your avos. Yeah, you got to flush them. Yellow snow cones. That was the house. As was reindeer jerky. So, Rob's giving us a point there. Reese's eggnog cups.

That was Ben Russell. That was me. And it was just such a good idea that I had to put it down. Yeah. And a good sell on it. I know that it was so good. I was like, I just have to say that I want this to happen. Have you seen M&M's

have released an M&M eggnog? Really? Yeah. I fucking love a nog. Hang on. Is the, so it's an eggnog that's M&M flavoured?

No, it's M&M's that are eggnog. Reversed. That sounds better. Yeah. I, I've never had a nog. I really am keen to.

I love the idea of a nog. You've never nogged? Well, you two have lived in America, right? So you growl, but you don't nog. Yeah, but still, people nog. I really am keen to. I love the idea of a nog. You've never nogged? Well, you two have lived in America, right? So you growl, but you don't nog. Yeah, but still, people nog. They have in- It's in coal.

Yeah, they've got nog in the coal section. Right. I looked it up, the meaning, a couple of years ago, and it said a festive sludge, and that made me want it. It's the only time that a nog is allowed. Right. Now is the nogging season where you can come together and

nog it up. Are there other kinds of nogs? There's no other nogs. And you cannot drink. This December month is the only time that nog happens. Right. And it doesn't have to be alcoholic. I think you overuse it. Like hot cross buns just for Easter. Nogs just for Christmas.

But the problem is, isn't it? It's the nogging season. That's a winter treat, a nog, surely. Grow up, have a hot drink. Good point. All right. Yeah, I mean, you can have it cold. It's cold.

It's cold milk as well. Right. You know, so it doesn't have to be hot. And it doesn't have to be alcoholic. It can be hot and it can be cold and it can be alcoholic and it doesn't have to be. Right. I understand in summer you don't often want like a thick viscous kind of liquid, but make an exception for your nog.

I'm going to have a nog this year. I absolutely adore a nog. Guys, raise your nogs. Yeah. Raise your festive sludge. Ben, wassail to a nog. Wassail to a nog. I'm going to wassail some nogs later for sure.

I'll wassail you nog. Yeah. Yeah. Where are we? What are we doing? Reindeer droppings, which Ben went for. That was Amy. Oh, I swear that was actually a real thing.

They are. Trader Joe's sell them. Yeah. Loser. So Amy's on the board. Way before 2022. He's been around since like 2015. And that means Amy's also correct.

That's cheating. Caesar salad flavored candy cane. You! That's bullshit shit she did. I'm back, baby! That's a point. Oh my God. I feel electric.

I feel, I'm still, baby. That's the point. Oh, my God. I feel electric. I feel... I'm still vibing off my point. So, after three rounds, the scores are Rob on one, Amy on two, but down the front is Ben Russell and the House on three points apiece. And we're up to question number four. This one comes from Claire Norris from West Sacramento. Claire's question is, in what strange way did the people of Massachusetts celebrate Christmas in 1659? I do struggle saying that word.

In what strange way did the people of Massachusetts celebrate Christmas in 1659? Did I say that date right the first time? Yeah. 1659. Any date before 2000, I want to just convert to 19. I've got the millennial bug, the version of it that makes me want to say 1900 and something every date I see. So apologies while you're writing around. This is a little bit more info about these candy canes.

They're actually put together. Let me say the name of the... Can I say? It's so... Because what you're saying is deeply interesting and I want to hear it. And it's so hard to split focus and then try and write something. I know. How do people do this?

It is tricky. The alternative would be that I actually... We all sit in silence. And then I record these bits later. But this is way more efficient. Oh, not a dig at you. I'm just saying like as a person, I'm fundamentally struggling. And people do that all the time. Just you got block me out but you're so i know i'm very

engaging guy don't question you yeah one more time uh sure in what strange way did the people of massachusetts celebrate christmas in 1659 so julie says the company, which is Archie McPhee, they also produce many other bizarre candy cane flavours, including hot dog, pickle, butter and sour cream with onion. They all sound pretty bad. I mean, they all sound great separately, but not with the candy cane texture. Don't know about it. Anyway, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. texture don't know about it anyway while you're still writing your answers let's go for a quick break all right we're back and your answers are in so here's question number four in what strange

way do the people of massachusetts celebrate christmas in 1659 due to a turkey shortage they ate roast opossum which led to hundreds of deaths from food poisoning. By foregoing the traditional European Christmas celebrations in a cultural exchange with the Native American tribes of that area, giving everyone smallpox. Many spent the day at the beach. It remains the hottest Christmas day in Massachusetts history. The townsfolk converged on a frozen lake to roast a wild boar, only for the ice to melt and then all to sink to their untimely death. A mass snowball fight that went for 12 hours, ending with a feast and a traditional burning of a witch. Or they celebrated secretly, if at all, as it was banned due to being offensive to God.

Celebrated secretly, if at all, as it was banned due to being offensive to God. Ooh. That's pretty much what happened. Yeah. And everything is on board, like, in line with that. The fact that in 1600 in America, you either murdered or you were killed. And that's kind of all there was to do for fun back then. It was either, like, we're was either like- Murdered or killed. We're going to be starved to death.

We're going to starve to death. We're going to get a disease. We're going to freeze. We're going to fucking kill people. Or we're going to get fucking murdered. That's really all there was. That's your kind of like- You can farm, of course, but for fun, I'm talking about.

You're not working. You're getting killed for fun. Those are your sort of leisure. It can farm, of course, but for fun, I'm talking about. Oh, fun. When you're not working. You get killed for fun. Those are your sort of leisure. It wasn't a hobby rich time period. Those are your recreational options in 1600s. And not pagan-y at all. And Christmas is very pagan tradition. So, it being banned sort of makes sense.

It was like that. When these were Puritans. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, any, I don't know. How does a Puritan celebrate? These people were so uptight. Yeah.

England were like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You guys are bringing the party down. You guys are fucking bumming us out. They don't talk about that as much on Thanksgiving. Like, that doesn't come through in the media that I've seen. But that is the story of America. Well, Thanksgiving is about they were all starving and then the Native Americans were like,

here, here's how you grow corn, you fucking idiots. And they were like, thanks, here's blankets. It's filled with smallpox. You're welcome. Which is, that sort of links up with one of these answers where they- Died of smallpox? Yeah. I mean, that's probably- That's how they got-

Had a cultural exchange. That's how they rewarded. I feel like that came a bit later maybe from- Like, didn't they- I mean, like- I mean, smallpox was obviously a thing, but they didn't have a name for it back then and they didn't- Did they actively know to do that? It would have been called the- No. I don't- They didn't know- They didn't actively do it.

Yeah, right. But it doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, they brought all the disease over. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Yeah, even when they were trying to be kind. Yeah.

They were doing damage. Have you seen some of their names? Puritan's names? They were always like- Yeah, yeah. Jonah, not a good man or something like that. They actually had like- Obadiah, not a good man.

Yeah. Obadiah loves Jesus on Wednesday and Friday and every day. Okay. That's their full name. Just weird last name. Just start with every day. That's how weird they were. Yeah.

Yeah. They were also inefficient. Yeah. As storytellers. They wore fucked hats. That was their worst crime. Yeah. Little buckles.

I liked how their hats had belts on them Yeah So they didn't fall down Oh that was cute Belt the hat Belt the hat Yeah That's what I say

I think we're back to you Rob First up here Okay I like the I like the idea that Yeah they had to Had to hide They had to like hide their

Their You know People like Oh better not celebrate Know this thing And hide it out. I reckon they hid out. All right. Locking that in for Rob.

I'm going to go that one, too. Locking that in for Ben, as well, with some American background. Just because I'm from America doesn't mean that I know my history very well. In fact, because I'm from America means that I don't know my history very well. Jeez. Everyone's in the gun today. Launceston, England. Yeah.

Now America. Yeah. And Perth. I'll fire on Perth as well. Amy, we're just down to you now. I think it's going to be a trifecta. I want to go to the secret Christmas too. I hope this isn't a house one.

This could be a house. This could be a big game changer. Could someone have self-guessed and then- No, not a lot of self-guess. Not a lot of self-guess. Not a lot of self-guess. You can do a fake out. I think that's happened in the past. Oh, okay.

But you've got to, before locking in, you've got to actually know I will change. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can try and lead someone in. That's a bit of fun. So, you know, Rob, if you want to now change your answer. Yeah, I think the boar one's good now. No, I'm sticking with it.

Team boob infinity. All right. Let's go through. Who wrote the answers? The people dying from opossum poisoning. That was the house. As was the, they spent most of the day at the beach. Both house related answers.

The thing is though, Matt, because it's actually because it's the Northern Hemisphere. But that's what I'm talking about. It remains the hottest Christmas day in history. It had to be so hot. Yeah. In the Northern Hemisphere, though, it's like, it's actually switched over months. There are nice beaches up there?

No. Did you know that when I, a very common, way too common, common question I would get when I lived in the US was, because the seasons are there is winter like you still call it winter but it's hot like that's a great question like it's your winter winter and i'm like that's so funny man everything's different in the southern hemisphere we just use words the opposite it It's opposite day. That's what it is.

Winter is hot and hot. Hot, but hot is cold, so winter is cold. Yeah. So, because cold is hot. Did you always find that people, like, they couldn't understand that Christmas Day was warm? They'd be like, but what do you do? Yeah, you just eat. Do you still eat, mate?

Yeah, you just do it. You just sweat more. Yeah. Yeah, we do. We've kept still eat, Mark? Yeah, you just do it. You just sweat more. You just go outside. Yeah. Yeah, we do. We've kept a lot of the winter traditions, though. I'll tell you what's the... I love a white wintery Christmas, but I would... I'm happy to not have it in Australia for a summer New Year's Eve.

Yes. I think that's worth... That makes all the difference. It being light till like 9 p.m on new years super fun uh uh wintry uh summer new years is better than a wintry christmas right oh hang on i think so because i think you know a summer christmas is still good you know what i mean but a winter christmas has been sold to us for decades through cinema and so i think there's such a like a romanticized version of the sure um it is nice

it is lovely where in america were you amy i was in los angeles so i called but never a white christmas yeah whereas you're in chicago which was full white yeah full i was there last month and i left the week before i went full full snow full snow so it was actually quite nice when i was there first full snow there that is the most gorgeous city ever it's a really pretty city i loved it i really love chicago yeah a lot uh anyway that's sort of they were the house ones uh the smallpox one that was ben russell hello i feel like that's what they just did It was a default setting The roast boar roast The wild boar roast And the ice melting That was Amy

That's a good one That was my second choice Thank you The snowball fight that ended in a traditional burning of the witch That was Rob Meaning the correct answer was they celebrated secretly If at all As it was banned due to being offensive to God.

Yeah. Because Christmas and all, in fact, all of like Christmas and Easter, they're all just like takeovers of pagan holidays. Yeah, it's Wiccan man kind of territory basically still for a lot of peeps. Yeah. Then they slowly just adopted it. They didn't know. They still just went, no, now it's okay.

Now it's fun. Yeah. Yeah, you just need the right person in power to be a fan of it and it changes very quickly yeah i'm proud of us that was beautiful well done infinity boobs is back yeah and we got a new member welcome welcome you're like the total recall triple boobed alien you're like when there's like a third nipple what do is that the name of the character yeah the little man that comes in your stomach. The little man that comes in your stomach.

It comes in your stomach, Ben. There's a little man. He comes in. Comes in. Comes down my little. What? Are you saying this like you're expecting this to be a universal thing? Yeah, yeah.

There's a little man. He comes down your air conditioning vents. No one else has this, Ben. And he crawls in through the air conditioning and he comes in your air conditioning vents. No one else has this bent. And he crawls in through the air conditioning and he comes in your tummy. That's not a thing that happens. I think this is why you've had cramps today. Yeah, maybe. But I'm not giving it up.

Hold on to it. See what happens. All right. Question number five comes from Alison Ramsey from Melbourne. What is the name of the heavy metal Christmas carol released by Christopher Lee in 2013? Christopher Lee, the actor, he's also released a bunch of metal albums. He released a heavy metal Christmas carol, a Christmas song, in 2013. What was the name of it?

While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the Christmas band. According to the Massachusetts government website, in 1659 the massachusetts bay colony enacted a law called penalty for keeping christmas the notion was that such festivals this is a quote from the original law i think festivals as were superstitiously kept in other countries were a great dishonor of god and a and an offense to and an offense of others anyone found celebrating christmas by failing to work feasting or in any other way shall pay for every such offense five shillings uh which would be about 50 bucks in today's dollars uh yeah that's fucked dude isn't that funny yeah they just saw it as a yeah because

you know just the way god was in us you do it in a small respectful way you don't do it by spreading joy yeah well i mean that i can kind of get behind keep it keep it don't don't put your you know shove my shove your lifestyle in my face, you know. Right, yeah. That's what I don't like. You know, I don't mind if you love God or whatever, but just don't put it, don't throw it in my face. Yeah, so you're thinking it's like, you know,

how you celebrate Christmas behind closed doors. How you celebrate, you know, your love of God behind closed doors, none of my business, I don't want. But every day someone is getting torn apart by crocodiles. All right. The answers are in for question number five. What is the name of the heavy metal Christmas carol released by Christopher Lee in 2013? Baby, it's really cold outside.

Jingle hell. Baby, it's really cold outside. Jingle hell. Baby, it's really cold outside. Frosty the fuckhead. Feliz Navi dead. Rise of Yuletide. Or wintertime Christmas crime. They're all badass, heavy metal sort of names yeah this could make up a great name fuck it what was it frosty the fuck baby it's really cold outside you want to sing all of them so we got baby it's really cold outside

baby is really cold outside jingle hellingling you did this to yourself yeah I did that one already good police not be based on the police not be dead police no that sounds more like Ian McKellen say who features on it police navidad which so they're wizards in different things Christopher Lee

is just so fucking low like his voice is the lowest which wizard does he play he plays Saruman

in the white wizard who actually turns against the wizarding world and joins with Sauron. Oh, God.

What's his other name? Oh, God. What's his other name? Go on. I don't know. Yeah, me either. I don't know either. Yeah, fuck you.

Which franchise is he in? Yeah, what are they in? Harry Potter. What? It is Harry Potter. Written by Gene Roddenberry. Yeah. Okay.

And Rise of Yuletide. Rise of Yuletide. Rise of Yuletide. And Wintertime Christmas Crime. Wintertime Christmas Crime. Wintertime Christmas Crime. It's a heavy metal rap. I love it. New rap.

In the wintertime I got a Christmas Crime. Ben, you want to go first here? Rise of Yuletide is the one that I like the best. Yep. So whoever did that, well done. You did a good job. That was what I was going to pick, but I don't. Of course you can.

You just came from a successful combo effort. Oh, okay. I'm not telling you you have to. I'm just saying. He would say that because it is a house, though. Yeah. Interesting. I might be reeling you into the boat like a fish off a boat.

Feliz Navidad. What was the frosty one again? Frosty the fuckface. Okay. No, I'm going with Rise of Yuletide. Okay. I'm going to say Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad.

Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart Okay, he's all right, the answer's baby

It's really cold outside, that was Amy You guys, that was so good You've given up I was pretty happy with that actually You're not honouring the game anymore Wintertime Christmas Crime comes from a man Really honouring the game Ben Russell

Fuck you Wintertime Christmas Crime That's good That's good I would watch that It's a great rap Would you listen to it though? He wouldn't

I'd watch the BBB series based off of the song I just don't think Can you give a song a bigger compliment than I would watch the BBB series based off of the song I just don't think Can you give a song a bigger compliment than I would watch that Yeah That was Alison A.K.A The House Then we had Rise

Of The Yuletide That was Rob Can you talk us through that because these two loved it I loved it I don't know It had everything. It had Christmas. It had a sinister but not sort of-

It was subtle, you know? It was unique but it still leaned into tradition. It felt real. It felt like Christopher Lee. They just sound metal-y. Metal-y. Yeah, and Rise is always in metal-y songs. Yeah, and Yuletide's just enough pagan-y that it sounds badass

rather than, like, you know, Rise of Jingle Bells. I think you've nailed it. You deserve the points. You deserve that. I'll take them. I'm playing for big money now. Feliz Navidad, which Rob went for. That was the house.

Meaning the correct answer is Jingle Hell. Oh, that sucks. Fuck you, Christopher Lee. I think we wrote five better options. I discounted that so quick. You did, but you were awesome. Fuck you, Christopher Lee. I think we wrote five better options. I discounted that so quick. You did, but you were awesome. Except for your metal career. Do you want to hear mine as I was working through mine

before I got to Felice and Other Dead, which was obviously fantastic. These were my first drafts. Have yourself a metal little Christmas. Satan Claus is coming to burn your town. Fark the herald angels scream. Oh, holy diver night. This is so rude.

Oh, holy diver night. I like that one. I didn't say that funny. Yeah. Oh, holy diver. It's the Dio song. It's beginning to look a lot like chaos. That's not bad.

And do you fear what I fear? Oh, I don't mind that either. The first few, you were doing too much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The other one, I think you still learned too much. But Jingle Hell is on par with a lot of, yeah, the ones you had in there. Yeah.

Yeah, they all sucked. One time Christmas crime. Yeah. That was the best, yeah. That did make me laugh. And it's really cold. It's really cold outside. Yeah.

It's extra cold outside. It's real. Yeah. Really cold. So, that means two. Yeah. It's extra cold outside. It's really cold. So, that means two points to Rob, one point to the house. Wow. Catching up. Jeez, the scores. Do you want to know?

They're interesting now. I'll tell you that. Amy's on three, but out in front on four points is Rob, the house, and Ben. Wow. Oh, shit. You can throw a blanket over the field. There's only one point separating us all going into the penultimate question, which comes from Dan from Scotland. And the question is, what strange but festive headline appeared on the New York Daily News

in November 2011? What strange but festive headline appeared on the New York Daily News in December 2011? And while you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about Jingle Hell. I've gone to Sarah Bella. How many more questions do we have? Two. Two. Are you bored?

No. No, it's just- Got a place to be? No. He's just like- Love numbers? Well, he's- His eyes lit up when you said numbers.

I saw him behind his blinds. Got the abacus there, mate. He's wearing sunnies and that's how bright they were lighting up. Yeah. You saw him through the lenses. Saw him through it. Yeah. Numbers.

According to Sarah Bella writing for Music Feeds, you probably know him better for his roles in The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Ben, did you lie to us about Harry Potter before? Yes. Who's he in Star Wars? The Obi-Wan Kenobi? No, he was Count Dooku. Count Dooku.

Otherwise known as Darth Tyrannus. Oh. Damn, you got his Darth name out. Yeah, dude, I know all the Darth names. Yeah. But Christopher Lee also likes to get his metal on, having released two albums, and now he's put his own heavy spin on Christmas,

dropping a reworked version of Jingle Bells. Entitled Jingle Hell, the metal take on the classic carol has made a surprise entry on the US charts, hitting number 22 on the Billboard Hot Singles Sales Charts. I should say this article was written at the time in 2013, so he might have released more stuff since then um he says uh that there was an earlier version of the song uh he says is a bit more naughty it's not bad i mean bad in the sense of unpleasant which is such

a funny way to describe a song you've made it's a bit of an unpleasant track the success of the track sees Lee earn the title of oldest living performer to enter the music charts although he's already the oldest heavy metal performer in the world having released his second album Charlemagne the Omens of Death on his 91st birthday back in May all right answering for question number six what strange but festive headline appeared on the New York Daily News in November 2011? Four hospitalised as things go bananas

at Trader Joe's Black Friday sale. Queen's hipster restaurant serving reindeer. Rudolph the red-faced pervert caught with his pants down at reindeer farm. That's good. That is real good. Burglar high on bath salts breaks into family's home, puts up Christmas decorations.

All wrapped up. Morning News anchor Jerry Sales fired mid-telecast after gift-giving exchange puts him on the naughty list. Or Epstein roasting on an open fire as trial date set. Those last two are... Got so much more to... I mean, there's a guy's name in two of them. So there you go.

That's enough detail I need to know. Yeah. There's a real guy. Was it a news anchor, that second last one? Yes, news anchor Jerry Sales. And Epstein, are you familiar? Well, it doesn't say first name, so we can't be sure which. He runs the rug place down in Carlton North. Yes. I mean, yes. And Epstein, are you familiar? Well, it doesn't say first name, so we can't be sure which. That's true.

He runs the rug place down in Carlton North. Yes. I mean, yes, but also not the one that they're talking about. Okay. Okay. Like he said, we do not know, actually. Going out of sale rugs. Epstein, they're referring to.

It could be the same one. Going out of Jerry sales. Maybe he didn't kill himself. Well, he definitely didn't, but you know what I mean? He didn't. No. You always make this show an editing nightmare. Yeah, sorry. This is a real-

Have you always kept in my other one that I normally do? I think that extended thing about cream pies, that did- Oh, the cream pie definitely made it. Yeah, yeah. I'm really happy. Can you do it again? No. So, what are we up to? Question six. I think definitely made it. Yeah, yeah. I'm really happy. Can you do it again? No. So, what are we up to?

Question six. I think we're back to you. It is me. Just picture a live recording of this podcast and me explaining what a cream pie is to nothing. No one laughing. People just like, what is going on? I think it was about 10 minutes long. Yeah, because I was like, happy to move on. And then you were like, what is it? And I was like, fine 10 minutes long. Yeah, because I was like happy to move on

and then you were like, what is it? And I was like, fine. You did it as a punishment to me. And I learned my lesson. The driest, most humorless retelling of what a cream pie is. The driest way to talk about a cream pie, for sure. I'm seeing it clear as day and my mind's on. Yeah, it's great to rehash a really interesting story.

So you got people getting injured at Trader Joe's. Fuck you. Queen's hipster restaurant serving reindeer. Rudolph the red-faced pervert. Yeah, I'll have that one, thanks. That's getting there. You had the burglar high on bath salts. You had the news anchor getting fired mid-telecast

or Epstein roasting on an open fire. Fired mid-telecast. Telecast. It's just, there's a reason why he did. And I feel like that's what's going to, that's the hook. Yeah. It's after gift giving exchange puts him on the naughty list. Yeah.

The gift. So, he's given something wrong. Yes. Okay. And you're going to have to click and read the article. Yeah. That's very click-baity. Yeah.

It got me. I'm clicking on it. You're clicking? Yeah. Yeah. Those three, the last three to me, because 2011, I mean- 10-year anniversary. Yeah.

I feel like we're around that sort of timeline. Timelines are all right. Bath salts was really hot back then. Remember when everyone was scared of bath salts it was like i don't remember that at all really yeah no it's huge yeah bath salts were big back it's terrifying yeah yeah just three you know post gfc they're not as cool yeah yeah were they all that really cool back then so cool yeah so i'm gonna just for the sake of diversity i'm gonna go bath salts.

All right. Looking at him for Ben. Yeah. Whenever you're on a show, you would do immediately add to diversity because you are an American Australian. I'm also, we've got Native American in our family. There you go. Yeah.

Well, my joke doesn't work so well then, does it? Nobody gives a shit about that. About Native Americans? No, not in this country. I'm like, hey, I'm it. And they're like, nah. Go to America. I'm like, no one gives a shit about it there.

Mm-hmm. I care about it. Thanks. I care about it too. My First Nations brother. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

I appreciate you bringing that to my attention, Ben. No, I don't. It's fine. You can edit this out. I'll be putting this right at the top. Okay, so here's who wrote the answers. For hospitalized, things go bananas. Trader Joe's Black Friday sale.

That was the house. I thought it was you because you named Trader Joe's. I love Trader Joe's. Queen's hipster restaurant serving reindeer That was Rob Raslin Yuck Yucky Not for me

Rudolph the red-faced pervert Caught with his pants down at reindeer farm That was also the house I liked that That was a good one Reindeer farm lost me though Okay I added that in late

So I thought it made it a bit more fun It did I was having fun Because I think you'd- It's too sad otherwise. Yeah, exactly. That was my thought as well.

Farms are traditionally great for reindeer. Yeah. It's like all of a sudden it's more of a goofy odd spot story. Yeah. Epstein roasting on an open fire as a trial date set. That was Ben Russell. Thank you. 2011.

2011. I think- He was still- I did. Yeah. I juked it a little bit It was a little bit later But I was hoping Rob you went for all wrapped up

Morning news anchor Jerry Sales Fired mid telecast that was Amy Thank you You've got to have some world play Yeah just made it up Thank you Remember when you said I wasn't playing before I got played by the player I'd like to take it back Yeah, just made it up. Yeah, you're good. Thank you. Remember when you said I wasn't playing before?

Yeah. I got played. I got played by the player. I'd like to take it back. I'm a mystery. You'll never know. And that means Ben was correct. Burglar high on bath salts, breaks into family home, puts up Christmas decorations. Yeah, good.

Was it the bath salts for you in 2011? It was the bath salts, yeah. I was like, that's definitely around that area. Yeah. No one's thinking about bath salts now. No one gives a shit about bath salts. And that's really sad. And I feel sorry for bath salts because they had this, you know, really sort of 15 minutes

of... Fleeting moment. Nobody thinks about it. Everything comes back, Ben. I think it's time we bring bath salts back. Yep. Yep. Synthetic meth.

So, it's not actually... That's a nickname. It's not actual bath salts. Yeah, I know you're like, but Ben, meth is synthetic meth. But no, this is like a synthetic sort of copy of meth as far as I can discern what bath salts are. For a while it was making people eat faces in Florida. It brings on an insane psychosis. I would say let's not bring that back.

No, come on. Meth had its time in the sun for too long. We need a competitor. And crocodile was soon after that which was more of a sort of a you know a european thing which ate flesh yeah um i don't know what sort of more of a crocodile i mean now the kids are all into this fentanyl that's the drug that we've got to be terrified of now right it's everywhere you touch a yeah you touch like a everything's a payphone and it's fentanyl. Laced with the stuff.

I'm touching payphones all the time. Just saying, I wish there was bath salts on this. If only. I'm hungry for face. I'm hungry for face. So, we're up to the final question and things are tight. Amy's on four, Rob's on four, the house on five, Ben's on five. So, it is super tight

At the top We're going to the final round And this is where Triple points So it's truly still Anyone's game I'm writing a silly one In this one

Right well It's a silly question This will be Your longest answer too Rob We've got You probably It's a paragraph

Maybe three four five Sentences long Okay It's a film synopsis question. And it comes from Zoe DL from Epping in Australia. And Zoe's question is, what is the synopsis of the 2012 Christmas film Elfman? What is the synopsis of the 2012 Christmas film Elfman? And while your answer being written, i'm going to read out this article

uh which that fantastic headline came from burglar high on bath salts breaks in a family home puts up christmas decorations it's so funny i assume that was like literal he literally sniffed bath salts um which i just figured that is just salt anyway Anyway, this is written by Philip Caulfield for the New York Daily News. Snorting bath salts put one Ohio crook. Ohio too, God's country. Put one Ohio crook in the holiday spirit, police say. Cops in Vandalia, north of Dayton, say Terry Trent, 44, was high on the designer drug when he broke into a family's home put up some christmas decorations and then plopped down on the couch to watch television local station whio

reported an 11 year old boy who lives in the house found the strung out stranger and called his mother tamara henderson who was at the neighbor's house she said what do you mean there's a man in their house you don't know if he had a gun or if he had a knife the station reported henderson who was at the neighbor's house. She said, What do you mean there's a man in our house? You don't know if he had a gun or if he had a knife, the station reported. Henderson called 911, and Trent was arrested without incident. But Henderson suspects the decorating bandit was just looking for a festive spot to soak in his buzz. The candle was lit on the coffee table, the television was on, and very loud, she told the station. He had said to my son to my son i'm sorry i didn't mean to scare you i'll get my things and go which oh man that breaks my heart anyway i don't know why there's this guy who's high he's he's real he's

been walked in by an 11 year old and i'm feeling bad for the the the guy's broken in what did he say at the end he said he said when the boy walked in and disturbed him, he said, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'll get my things and go. It sounds like he's really sweet.

Anyway, Trent was charged with burglary and held in a county lockup. Yeah. So hopefully, I don't know. Is that a happy ending? It's getting there.

It's borderline. It's bordering on happy. All right. So the answers are in for the final question. What is the synopsis of the 2012 Christmas film Elfman? In the quaint town of Evergreen Shire, Eli, a half-elf, half-man hybrid, sets off on a quest to find the mythical Bridge of Unity

to understand his dual heritage. Along the way, he befriends a quirky ensemble of creatures including uni reindeer and a miniature polar bear and learns that true acceptance comes from embracing differences will his friends help him learn to accept himself or will he leave it all behind in pursuit of the bridge i love a question at the end yeah i'm a big question at the end as as well. This movie is making statements, but it's also asking questions. Yeah, what's a half elf mean? That's one big question.

A miniature polar bear. Miniature polar bear. I'm guessing that was budgetary. All right, here's question number two. It's Christmas Eve at the Harper house and young Ryan and Casey are excited That their Santa's father has finally Perfected his new invention But when dad is kidnapped by a bumbling Gang of thieves Casey's wish

On a magic doll causes Santa To leave behind a mischievous elf To save the day Will Santa's little helper lose all faith in his elf self Or can he discover his true Powers to become a real superhero A big hearted family comedy About holiday wishes scary fruit cakes In his elf self? Or can he discover his true powers to become a real superhero? A big hearted family comedy about holiday wishes, scary fruitcakes and Christmas miracles that come in every size.

I've got a feeling there's going to be no wrong answers. Yeah. These are all real movies. These are all real now. There was so much going on in that one. Yeah. That was beautiful. There's like eight storylines.

There's a dad with an invention. He's a scientist. I also said elf self, which I. Elf self was good. I got. There's a dad with an invention. He's a scientist. I also said Elfself, which I- Elfself was good. I got- Hashtag Elfself. So, it's fun because this is pretty recent. And have any of us heard of this?

No. Yeah. That's- So, you know it's going to be pretty good. Just by the name, it sounded like those- You know, when a big movie comes out or there's a famous holiday movie, they do the knockoff version. Yeah.

So, this is Elf- Elf knockoff. Yeah, Elf knockoff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they holiday movie, they do the knockoff version. Yeah. So, this is Elf. Elf knockoff. Yeah. Elf knockoff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they've just gone Elf. Man. Yeah.

The Netflix movie. Yeah. Yeah. They've always got like. Yeah. The biggest movies are like, and it's Oppenheim, the explosion man. There's a company called The Asylum and they do like, when a Marvel film comes out, they will do like, like there'll be Thor and then they'll just call their movie Thor God of Thunder.

Yeah. You know, or something like that. And then they can get other licenses and stuff. And they, you know, it's a long tradition because you used to do, they used to do it for VHS because the chances of your nan or your mum going, oh yeah, I'll get this. He loves, he's always been talking about the Thor. Yes. I'll pick that up.

And now it's sort of transferred to, oh, they've got this on Netflix. I'll get this. He loves- He's always been talking about the Thor. Yes. I'll pick that up. And now it's sort of transferred to, they've got this on Netflix. I'll do it. I told my mum, can you please get the movie Mystery Men out? You know, which is a funny- What a fucking great film. Yeah, great film, right?

And she got a movie called Majestic Men. And it was a soft core, like, homoerotic- Hell yeah, dude. That was a sexual awakening for you. Yeah, that was your first growl. Yeah. I still haven't seen- It was my first growl out. Yeah.

I haven't seen Mystery Men yet. Oh, really? I'm saving it for a rainy day. It is a hidden gem, I would say. A bit before its time. That's a hot tip for listeners. Yes. Directed by Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller. Option four. On Christmas Eve's Eve, a sinister legend resurfaces the tale of Krongle, an evil elfman banished centuries ago for spreading malevolence during the holiday season. As the snow falls, a group of friends gather for a festive cabin retreat. Unaware, they've stumbled upon Krongle's resting place. Krongle. Krongle. When holiday cheer turns to terror and one by one they disappear, the man

they must confront the evil-minded elf man to survive the night and stop their Christmas dream holiday from becoming a nightmare. I do remember that, yeah. I remember the catchphrase. I'm Krongle. I'm Krongle. Fuck your kids. Yeah, yeah. You just got catchphrase. I'm Krungle. I'm Krungle. Fuck you kids. Yeah, yeah.

You just got Krungled. You just got Krungled, yeah. Yeah, I think that is the alternative title from Krungle. Wasn't Krungle like the, he was the old Donkey Kong, wasn't he? Yeah. Krungle Kong. He was the old Donkey Kong. Second last option here.

Based on real life events, Elfman follows the story of one man whose family forbids him from attending the famed neighbourhood Christmas Eve soiree unless he wore the family holiday sweater believed by many to hold a curse. Oh, Christmas curse. No. No. Is it Krongle? Yeah. The Krongle curse. Krongle.

Krongle is the right response to Wussle as well. Yeah. When someone says Wussle, you say Krongle. Krongle? Yeah. The Krongle curse. Krongle. Krongle's the right response to Wussle as well. Yeah. When someone says Wussle, you say Krongle. Krongle. Wussle, Krongle. Your final option is a festival slasher horror. A festival slasher horror sees a genetic half-elf, half-human hybrid escape from an underground laboratory in a sleepy town of Lewiston in Maine.

from an underground lab laboratory in a sleepy town of Lewiston in Maine. After wreaking havoc at the Lewiston Christmas markets, the sheriff, a lone survivor, and the town crackpot team up to stop the murderous abomination and save Christmas. Christmas has come early, and in Lewiston, everyone is on the naughty list. So, yeah, you might need a recap, because it feels like it was about half an hour ago. Yeah.

Half elves. There were two hybrids. But I've never heard of a half elf. So, this is new technology. Publicity on this film was bad. Well, they're called Elfman or Elfman, I think. Elfman.

Yeah. Depending on where you're from. You know, can elves and humans can breed. So, the first hybrid one was about the the guy trying to find the bridge of unity and he found a mini polar bear along the way and it asked the question in the end will he accept himself or keep finding the bridge uh the second one a doll hang on i didn't read all of them. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God. Everyone gets a point. Yeah.

You fucked it. Everyone wins. The house loses. Santa is retiring. His favorite little helper needs to find who will take over the reindeer reins and run the North Pole in the big city. But living it rough and trying to find a job during the busiest time of the year in the big city will test this elf boy.

Will this elf find the right person for the job and become an elf man? So that's the sixth option. So you got the bridge guy trying to find the bridge. You got the elf boy trying to become an elf man, take over Santa's job. You've got Christmas at the Harper house where uh because of a wish an elf is left behind and he's trying to save the day uh you've got uh crongle you've got uh the based on real life events with the cursed sweater and you've got the festival slasher horror not the cursed sweater though based on real life events the cursed sweater no though. Based on real life events, the cursed sweater. No, no, that's a separate one.

Sorry, the final one is the festival slasher horror with the half elf, half human hybrid. Can you read the last two again? In full? No, don't worry about it. You got the last two. Based on real life events, Elfman follows the story of one man whose family forbids him from attending the famed neighborhood Christmas Eve eve soiree unless he wore the family holiday sweater believed by many to hold a curse and the final one was festival slasher horror sees a genetic half elf half half human hybrid escaped from an underground lab in the sleepy town of lewiston in maine after wreaking havoc at the

lewiston christmas markets the sheriff the lone survivor and the town crackpot team up to stop the murderous abomination and save christmas christmas has come early in lewiston and everyone is on the naughty list i like that one lock that one in rob that's me locking that in for rob yeah that one and then i don't know i feel like the krongu is so crazy it could be true and then the doll is it the wood swings the doll one the Harper house yeah that's the one where a wish is made upon a doll and Santa leaves behind an elf there was 12 different

stories in that one too a dad scientist has invented something yeah what's he invented I'm gonna go like yeah I'm trying I'm edging towards like the so crazy that it could be right. And I'm going to go Harper Household. Harper Household.

Okay. That's for Ben. Could I please lock in Taking Over from Santa? Sure can. All right. Which ones are Taking Over from Santa? That was Santa's retiring. His favorite little helper needs to find who will take the reindeer race.

Are you going that one? Who? Are you going that one? Well, yeah. You're not going Harper. No Harper for me. That's because you wrote it, didn't it? I'm going to change.

What's he changing to? Maybe I'll change from Santa. Maybe I wrote that one. Fine. Well, you can't. No. It's like an unlocking at the last minute. You've gotten Ben's head here somewhere, Amy.

I don't even think you were trying to. But look at him. You picked Harper House. Harper's a name I would use. All of a sudden, Harper House. Ben's looking like the guy from a Princess Bride or whatever it is. Never miss Mrs. Lathelion. What a death there is on the line

those are the shrieking eels inconceivable inconceivable you're too late the cliffs of insanity yeah that guy

yeah I love that guy so we all sticking with what was there have you watched dinner with Andre he's in that one.

Two-hander. Just them having dinner. Jeez. And that's Andre the Giant again? No. Is he an elf man? I'm talking about the little dude that I forget. What is his name?

His name is... He's so good. He's in lots of stuff. He's fucking great. He's a great character actor. He's in Clueless. Yeah. But he pops up in everything.

I'll do Harper. I'll give you the point if you did it Because you did a great job Thanks Alright here's who Wrote the answer Psych I'm not doing it Whoa whoa Wait

I'm gonna do Krongle Oh I kinda wanna go Thanks You need to get me On the Krongle train No don't Don't don't Go

We can't all Why don't you go Harper then No we can't all change You can You can all change Harper's don't you go Harper then? No, we can't all change. You can. You can all change. Harper's. Elfman's so good.

It's so right. I'll go the other one. I'll go yours. You know what I mean? Like if you. So what are we saying here? This is. There's chaos.

What are the scores again? The spirit of Krongle is here himself Amy and Robin four Ben and the house on five Well the stakes are high The stakes are high Truly is anyone's game from here It's triple points as well I'm staying

Stay you're going to sit Ben are you sitting or are you going to I'm going to crongle You're going to crongle Alright Ben's crongling I'm going to stick with replacing Sienna. All right. Well, let's go through who wrote the answers.

Based on real-life events, Elfman follows the story of one man who wants to attend a neighbourhood soiree, but he's not allowed to unless he wore the family holiday sweater believed by many to hold a curse. I think that was my favourite. I'd watch that movie. That was my favourite of them all thank you lol oh you didn't do harper i bet you it's gonna be harper isn't it it's hard it is isn't it we'll see can i change not now what did the dad invent uh we'll never know. We had the Bridge of Unity where the half elf, half man hybrid tries to find the bridge.

That was written by Zoe, a.k.a. The House. Lovely stuff. The House. The House is great. To lay off the Christmas wine, Zoe. Lay off the wine and get on a dog, Zoe. Yeah, get on the- Get on a dog.

Alcohol-free nog. Yeah. I think it's when you want to make that healthy choice of getting on the wagon. So, yeah. Yeah, get on the alcohol-free nog. Yeah. I think it's when you want to make that healthy choice of getting on the wagon or off the wagon, I never know which one it is, get on the nog. And make sure you use old milk. Every time you feel like having a Christmas wine, instead, put a nog in your hand.

Get a nog in your gob. Launceston's original old milk. So. your gob. Launceston. Launceston's original Old Milk. So Launceston, a place we're no longer known for herpes monkeys. Now we're known for Old Milk. On Christmas Eve Eve

uh, Krongle. Krongle occurs. That was also Zoe. Oh, no. This Zoe character. Zoe, you need to get off the fucking Christmas wines. She wrote two cracking answers there. I bet you it's a Harper. I fucked myself.

Rob went for a Festival Slasher Horror. Singer, half elf, half human. No way. No way. That was Ben Russell. That's very good, man. And did you see when you're about to change, Ben said, oh, no, we can't all change. Oh, no.

I knew then. I knew then. It's too good. It was really good. It was a really good synopsis. And a good synopsis doesn't tell you too much. You know, it just uses no real names, nothing like that. Yeah.

Thank you. So, we're down to Harper and replacing Santa? It's Harper, isn't it? Yes. Replacing Santa. That was that. Yeah. Thank you. So we're down to Harper and replacing Santa. It's Harper, isn't it? Yes. Replacing Santa. That was Rob. No. So the correct answer is the Harper house with the Santa's father.

How much is going on? There's so much going on. There's so much going on. You didn't even react when the Santa one wasn't included in the list. That's why I was like, it has to be that one because you forgot it. Yes. I'm stone cold. You are stone cold.

I'm glad you did that because I was- I'm so annoyed. I'm a stuffed rob here. Taking over the reindeer reins is my greatest running of all time. Taking over the reindeer reins. That's humiliating. Yeah, it's annoying. Infinity boobs got defeated by the house.

We don't know. I'm going to add up the scores here. No. Zero tit. Zero tit. All right. So, just quickly before we do the scores, according to Zoe, she discovered this film while looking for a Fun Kids movie on Amazon Prime. Prime take a lot of stuff.

Yeah. They take a lot of like low budget, no budget. Yeah. Like quantity over quality. Amazon's not great, but Prime is such a wonderful service for being b-grade movies yeah it's so good like it cannot be overstated i think they can they they'll take on i don't think i'll pay it's great maybe they don't pay that much i'm not sure but got to do a watch they also they've also got high budget ones as well oh yeah of their own i i have it specifically for the shit film. You got to do a mystery Christmas theater for that movie.

That'd be so fun. That'd be fun. I'll be up for it. One of my favorites there is a one where I can't remember the name of the movie, but it's got one of the lower tier Baldwin's. Oh, yeah. Bobby? Lower.

Lower than Bobby Baldwin. Is Bobby one of them? No, Billy, a man There's a Stephen, Stephen Could be a Stephen or a Billy Hawk Baldwin It's like an Armageddon knockoff one And they gotta nuke They gotta nuke the moon or some shit

Randy Baldwin maybe? That's all of them They gotta mine like a driller to nuke the moon because the moon's falling down oh whoa is it called earth storm something like that oh wow i just googled baldwin brother movie nuke the moon and that came up yeah i would thoroughly recommend earth storm it's a 2006 oh yeah that would be like steven baldwin there was a bigger movie called geo storm which already sounds like a bad movie. Moonfall.

Moonfall. Later. Yeah. Geostorm, Moonfall. And then this would have been the- Yeah. I better get that. The thing is, Moonfall already is that movie.

Yeah, but with good special effects. Yeah. This is like- A year six production. Have you seen Moonfall? Your cousin's been mucking around on Blender. Oh, my God. Moonfall is wild. Moonfall? Your cousin's been mucking around on Blender. Oh, my God. Moonfall is wild.

Moonfall is so bad. It's insane. There's aliens living in the moon. I can't believe it got made. Are these normally so full of just like movie recommendations? I don't think so. I've lost control of this episode. Sorry, mate.

We have been in here for days. I'm hung up on that movie so much. There's so much going on. Specifically, I like really shitty films. It's called Elfman. It's called Elfman. Apparently, it's got a three and a half out of ten rating on IMDb, 24% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.

But on Amazon, it's got four out of five from 38 reviews. And Stella writes in particular, finally a family movie that is actually safe to watch without worrying about bad language or too much skin. My kids, five and nine, love this movie so much we have watched it five times. It's got enough physical comedy to keep everyone laughing and a nice message about doing something good for others. It's a great stocking stuffer and I've purchased a few as backup gifts just in case I need something at the last minute. There's a lot of skin in Christmas movies. Yes.

They are famously, yeah. There's no way she did not work on that film. That is definitely someone who's, yeah. I went out and bought a box of these. Yeah. I bought a crate of these DVDs. Everybody loves it. And I just give it to everybody and they love me for it.

But even after reading that, Zoe still hasn't checked it out um all right final score time here we go in fourth place which is a very impressive spot to be in on four points it's amy oh thank you so much in third place on six points it's the house what in second place on seven points it's rob brazlin but out in front on eight points It's Rob Braslin Whoa But out in front On eight points It's Ben Wessel Thank you Well done Ben

And Ben Wessel to you This is like my second win I want to say Second or third win You're a powerful entity on this show Yeah And that's I mean that's really

Giving your career a boost Doesn't it Yeah Has it Yeah Yeah I've really seen dividends Where can people find you Ben You can find me on the

On the On the Twitter And the thread and the Insta. I hate, I want to get out off Twitter. Yes. I don't like thread. Like, is anyone on there? I don't even know. Is it, do I need something? Am I better without it?

You know what I mean? Yeah. All these questions go through my head. But Instagram, I'm Ben Russell or at the moment Twitter on Ben Russell's and that's all you need to know really go see your

funny comedy yeah funny something good December 16th at Comedy Republic go to the Comedy Republic website or socials for more details. And if people are listening to this next year, it'll be running. It's like a monthly show. And next year, I will be touring my brand new hour stand-up show.

First ever stand-up show. And so you're unmasked in this one as well. You're normally up there behind a facade. Yeah. Ben Russell live. Live and unplugged. Nude Russell. That'll be coming to the Gold Coast Laughs Festival.

Raw Russell. Raw Russell's very good. The Melbourne International Comedy Festival and the Perth Fringe Festival. But I think it'll probably come to Brizzy and maybe Sydney as well. All good spots. So, I'll be around. So, but check out, follow me on socials and I'll post a lot on there. How about you, Rob?

Yeah, follow me on Instagram at and I'll post a lot on there. How about you, Rob? Yeah. Follow me on Instagram at I am Ben Russell. I'm Rob. I'm Amy. I'm Rob Braslin. Rob Braslin. No, Rob Braslin.

Rob underscore Braslin. Oh, my God. Instagram.com. I hate underscores. Oh, really? Yeah. Do you reckon I should get rid of the underscore? But it's on your birth certificate.

Leave it. I just like a space there. Maybe I'm not. Am I? I don't know. I would rather a dot than an underscore. Dots are classy. I think that's a cool- What happens to the underscore?

Why? Is it just the look? Yeah, it's just a personal thing. It's not- It says I couldn't get my name, so I had to put an underscore in there. I am- Yeah, well, I'll change it on your thing. I don't mean to be rude.

I'll see if the numbers go up. This is just a personal preference. No, it's not being rude, honestly. I appreciate it. That's honest feedback. I just don't mean to be rude. I'll see if the numbers go up. This is just a personal preference. No, it's not being rude, honestly. I appreciate it. That's honest feedback. I just don't like an underscore. And if I see one, I go crazy. Isn't this what we're talking about?

Ben Russell is a comedian without a filter. And he'll just say what he thinks. And even some of the things that you're afraid to say, he'll say it to you. Yeah, watch out, PC police. Everyone, my special has all the jokes you've already heard. He's coming for your underscores. About PC Polices and all that. I do them all.

Cyclists? Cyclists. I do vegans. Woke underscore brigade. I do pronouns. I do them all. All the tired jokes. The right only has one joke for each of those things,

and I do them all over and over and over again. They weren't funny to begin with, and they're still not funny. They're lazy. Stop skewering the right. You know, half of my audience is the right. Yeah, I know. It is true. You are a right-wing comedian.

Well, I'm from the sensible centre. Good thing we're in Australia. No snowflakes during Christmas. You know what I'm talking about? centre Good thing we're in Australia No snowflakes during Christmas You know what I'm talking about Yeah fuck yeah And Amy where can people find you Um No threads no twitter just instagram

Amy Louise Ruffles And no underscores No underscores the real deal I'm taking it on board At Rob underscore Brazlin, but future at- Look, maybe a dot. Rob dot. I think a dot would look great on you.

At Rob dot com Braslin. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's good. That's nice. Yeah. I think of it and I used to have the, my, what's it called?

Handle for this show was W-K-I-W-M-S, Who Knew It, Matt Stewart. But I've changed that after feedback to Who Knew It Pod. Nice. And people have said that that's easier to remember. Who Knew It Pod's good. So, I also took feedback on- I never remember the name of this podcast, so I just go, it's Matt Stewart's podcast.

Yes. The Matt Stewart quiz, man. Which one? The monkey which one the monkey one a monkey one the the the knowing one the informative one the the sleepy time one he's a busy boy yeah he'd do he can't stop i can't stop potting it's a pod machine yeah uh thanks so much for joining us you three What a merry Christmas we've all had And I hope you have the merriest of Christmases Thanks so much for listening everybody

Please give us a five star review For Christmas Do it for Jesus or some shit Do it for Santa or for Jesus He died or lived or No he was born Do it for Crongle And the Harpers

And what better Christmas present Than recommending this to your mum or dad or whoever? Wrap this under a tree. Wrap it up. They'd be pissed off if you just gave them a podcast recommendation. I don't think they'd be pissed off. I think they'd be pleased off. They'd love it. They'd love a game.

Merry Christmas here. Go check out this podcast. They'd be like, get the fuck out of here. Write it down in a card with the heart link. You need to start paying rent. Print off a QR code for the podcast. No, it's for me as well, though. Cream pies?

Not for me. No, thanks. Well, no, I wouldn't link them to that episode. No, no. Maybe link them to this one. This is a great one. Maybe a nice family friendly one. Unless they're from a long-term system.

Yeah, I would consider roasting hazelnuts on the old open fire or whatever. What does the Americans do? They roast some sort of nuts. Chestnuts. Chestnuts. Shoot people. And just put this up on the background. Shoot people, yeah.

Rob, this isn't a podcast where we satire America, okay? Well, start one, mate. All right. Well, cheers for tuning in to Who Do With Matt? Now that you know it, I've been Matt Showett. Goodbye. Bye. What about the one with the old man, bad eyesight, big facial hair? Yeah.

Red suit. That's this one. What about the one where we have a feast with family Yes And we have unleavened bread Unleavened Yeah, that could be Is that the Greek Orthodox version? No, you might be talking about Hanukkah Connor Or Shanukkah

Is that the one you're talking about? No Alright, yeah, Connor, please Jump in and save me here I got you, you fuckhead Unleavened bread, it does sound religious Unleavened bread was a big one. Hanukkah?

Hanukkah Gatsby? Hanukkah Gatsby. Yeah. This has already got off to a weird start, I've got to tell you. We only met today, right, Amy? Yes, to my knowledge. And you can never be 100% sure, right? Correct.

Yeah. But, and occasionally, have you ever had the scenario where you say, nice to meet you? And they said, we actually met. That's why I always say it's nice to see you. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. Got to cover your bases. Very clever.

It's like, do I know you? Have I seen you on something? Have I ended up stalking you accidentally on the internet? Yeah, that's right. The internet means you could be aware of someone and there's crossover in your brain whether what's- Yeah, if it's a real life one or- But because I messaged Ben the other day saying when we were- That's nice.

The time got mixed around a bit. He never messaged me. I swear to God I messaged Ben. Show us. You want to see receipts? Yeah. On what platform? But I was-

To him, I was calling you Amy Louise. Louise. Amy Louise. I'm like. Finn's like, who the fuck's that? I just assumed it was you. Yeah, it was such a weird. Well, you could be talking to London, Amy.

So, I call you Amy Ruffle because Amy Louise makes you sound like you're like, you are from Brixton and you like, you know, you like music, you like indie music. I'm Amy Louise. Got lots of tattoos, don't I? Whereas I think Amy Ruffles still sounds English, but it's a different kind of. I'm Amy Ruffles. Yeah, Amy Ruffles is like a quaint sort of whimsical nanny.

I'm Amy Ruffles. Hey, look after your kids. Both of them somehow are like still cooler than the version that I am. Yes. I live in a bush. Christmas bricks. Oh, that's the one thing we got about yeah is that we just go it's sort of a tradition where you go around you throw breakfast at the Christmas break through people's window yeah it's not a Christmas break what do you remember about your first Christmas brick?

I remember it coming through the window. I remember it hitting our sticks, our Christmas sticks. So, you have to be eight to do it. That's your first year, is it? You're around eight, yeah. We do things differently in... We're a bit different. Yeah. We're a bit different.

Is this... Where is it? Hobart or is it... Yeah, on the eastern shore of Hobart. Yeah. And it's like an advent calendar, right? Like one a day? One a day.

One brick a day. Do they use the same hole in the window or do they make a new? You got to have more than one window. Okay. Yeah. Can I say that I actually love Hobart? It's one of my favorite places to go.

Isn't it nice? Yeah. It's fucking beautiful. Yeah. Launcest on the other hand. Oh, get rid of it. Just an absolute shithole. Don't need it. I fucking hate that place. Really? Yeah. Launceston, on the other hand. Oh, get rid of it. Just an absolute shithole. Don't need it.

I fucking hate that place. Really? Yeah. It's so weird that you can have two cities relatively close to each other. Yeah, what are those three-hour drives? Yeah. And one be, you know, charming and beautiful, and the other have herpes monkeys.

They do have herpes monkeys. Those monkeys are great. That's the best thing about Launceston all my mates in Launceston all my relatives in Launceston

I love you guys I love the monkey park I love bread and butter it's a great cafe I love Launceston

as well and Bogues Bogues is a great job I exclusively have traumatic memories from Launceston

so I'm anti it as well I'm gonna get I'm gonna get letters not you guys. Yeah, good. Good.

Send them. Ben and I will write them. P.O. Box. Lock bag. Dear Launceston. Hobart. Where do you guys come from? Or I'm going to name the town next to that and say it's bad.

You get letters. Listen, I've grown up in WA, so you can go absolutely nuts. I will agree with you. I'm going to do the next day over. I'll be like, yeah. Great. A hundred percent. It's a rotten town. I'm going to do the next day over. I'll be like, yeah, 100%. It's a rotten town. I'm going to Launceston early next year to see Tism are playing there.

That's right. Tism. Yeah, Tism don't play in WA. No, and why would they? It's too expensive to go over there, and it's a shithole. Yeah, well, you said it, not me. And I'll say it till the cows come home. All right.

Love you, Launceston. Bye. Bye. Bye. We need on the phone to Launceston. They should have said it every day. Oh, God, that's going to be all good. That's going to be on the newspaper tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. They hate it if you say one way or the other. And I can never remember which one. Launceston or Launceston's wrong. It's kind of like someone picking on your brother or sister. It's like we're allowed to pick on them, but not you, Ken. It's not you mainly to fucks. When I was 10 years old, I got locked outside of a house in Launceston.

Well, this one, I'm doing it. No, I'm allowed to. When I was 10 years old, I got locked outside. I did diving as a kid and was staying with our coach. He locked me outside because I laughed during a dinner in winter. Like three hours. For laughing? For laughing at dinner. And we're staying with our coach. He locked me outside because I laughed during a dinner in winter. Oh. Like three hours. What the fuck?

For laughing? For laughing at dinner. Were you living in a footloose universe? Yeah. He used to make us eat coffee beans as well. So, we would have energy for training. Hang on, though. Is he in jail now?

Yeah, he has to. He is. No, he actually is. Yeah, good. Yeah. And so, just to clarify, that happened in Launceston. Yes, that's why I hate Launceston. Well, I don't know if there's any reason to hate Launceston Yes that's why I hate Launceston Well I don't know If there's any reason

To hate Launceston Because of those things But Yeah But I understand the Yeah That man was Launcestern Yeah yeah

Well this wasn't Banning laughter though It was dance So what I said before was Oh that's why I just ignored it We'll edit that out Connor Okay Yeah yeah

There's a whole other show's worth Of things to deconstruct You can put Put these things at the back end You can't really Hate a place just for a person. Otherwise, people would hate Berlin. Yeah.

Yeah, true. And that's a great city. That's a great city. You know? So, he fed you coffee beans. I'll keep it in mind. I don't think we should dwell on it. I don't think it's a fun topic. No, let's dig into this trauma. Done. Done. Done.

Done. Done. Done, done, done. Done, done, done. You used to be working beautiful harmony there. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Not at all. I got nothing. Sorry. I think that was my fault, you know, to be fair. How's the tongue? It's actually gotten better. It's good. I think the Coca-Cola got a little burp out.

It was working. I think it's because it's either the intolerances, but it's also I've not been eating any processed foods. Your body's rejecting the health. Kind of. Like I'm not eating any fast foods. This might be your origin story, mate. I'm not doing- I'm just cooking at home. Okay.

Yeah, it's fucked up. I don't even know who I am anymore. I guess your body would be in shock because it's like, where is the sodium? I wake up a little bit hungover from coming down from sugar. Oh. Have you cut out much salt as well? You must have. No, I didn't love- I mean, only the salt.

I'm a salty boy. So, yeah, I mean, because I'm not eating out because salt and butter. Not eating out, I bet. That's what makes- What does that- What does that mean? What do you mean? I'm just clarifying you said you don't eat out. Not eating out. Never seen food. What do you mean by that? clarifying you said you're not eating out. Not eating out. What do you mean by that?

I think it means you're not eating. No, I'm not meaning anything. I was just clarifying. I don't want to say it. Well, he said I'm not eating out. I just said, oh, what? You're not eating out, Ben? That seems like a weird way to point out then.

No, I just... So you're just eating at home. It's the festive season. Ben, do you eat pussy? Yes. Great. Because I'm a fucking gentleman. Yeah, well, there you go. Matt, pull your head in.

Okay. Oh, no, I didn't realize that was where you were talking. Am I married? Yes. Of course. Yeah. You've got to. That's one of the, isn't that one of the vows that you have to do?

Yeah. It's like by law you have to do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was in our vows. They got rid of the between a man and a woman and they added in. You got to growl out. You got to growl out to your partner. Yeah.

Yeah, you got to growl. Beautiful wording. Yeah. Growl out. It's legal. Yeah. Are we all familiar with the term growl? Do you have that in Tasmania?

It's a Latin word, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. We have it. Because it's funny. You growl in Tassie? Yeah, we growl. Yeah? Yeah. You growl. Yeah?

Yeah. You growling how? Growling down south. Growl now. Growl now, brown cow. Growl now, brown cow. Welcome to growling down south. You growl now, brown cow?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Jesus. Come on down to growling out with Bobby B. That's good. You coming down, Ben? Man, I'm fucking going to be the EP on that show. Growling out in Lonnie with Bobby B.

I'm not going to lie. Yeah, we're out of here In Lonnie with Bobby B. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, we're out of here. That draws his line there. Is it Hobart? Then yes. All right. Was this radio? Is this on AM?

Yeah, this is on AM. We're on 97.2. We both did it, though. The Beers FM. We should probably cut to some... I'm also a very good improviser. Yeah, I am too. You're on the Beers.

You're on the beers. You're on the beers. We'll be back after these short messages from our sponsors. And call in. When was the barbecue not going to plan for you? Oh, my God, Jono. You are too good. You're loose as. You're loose as.

That's all that commercial radio is now. It's just dudes yelling, laughing. A laugh yell. And don't forget about the secret sound. Yeah. And they've got to have the woman. You're a grub. You're a grub.

Now you're a flog. You're an absolute flog. You're such a grub. And then the woman has to go, boys. Oh, you guys. Stop it. Let me do the news. Let me do the news, guys.

He's looking at me. He's got two eyes. And a nose. Let's take some calls. You know when you're breathing air like you respire? Oh, my gosh. Are you a scholar? Yeah, you like take air in and it goes into your lungs

and it aerates the blood and then you expel the leftover air, which has a lot more CO2. Oh, my Einstein over here. Jeez, someone has to keep this train running, guys. We've got Larry in the company next. Larry's coming. Larry's coming in. He's got a new book out.

He does, yes. It's very exciting. Let's play some Coldplay. Coldplay. Larry's coming in. He's got a new book out. He does. Yes. It's very exciting. Let's play some Coldplay. I'm thinking about this one. Mm. I had to go back.

I had to go back to my history. Into the mind palace. Yeah. In 1669 69, dude Damn Hey You are one of those comedians who says Cancel me if you can I'll offend everyone equally

Yeah, yeah I often say that I'm the matt rife of australia your plastic surgeon came out and uh a little more chin and we're there because people i feel like people only like my comedy for my looks yeah and also well sure enough you're a comedy i've got no joke. What did he say? What did he end his special on? But I guess I'm just a guy who does crowd work and then drops the mic.

That's how he is. Yeah. That's funny. What a wonderful thing to say. I don't think I've heard of this guy. Matt Ruff. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's been all over the internet.

There's a talk of the town. Yeah. I guess if we're talking shit, he's not coming on this show, so. Well, I'm not talking shit to him. Yeah, yeah. I'll just book him on a week that you'll be three on him. Okay, Tim. Matt will use the Matt network.

Hey, I'll bring him and I'll say, hey, that's my name. Give it back. Yeah. Wow. That's so brave of you, dude. Yeah. Oh, we found the source of the cramps, everyone. Oh. What is that? of the cramps, everyone. Oh.

What is it? Milk was out of date. No. Has Mags gone down too? No, but she just took a photo of this. Milk was a bad choice. Two days. Oh.

That's a suggestion. Used by, though. Best before? Sure. Best before? Sure. Best before, I'll go on in. That's good for nog. Good for nog?

Yeah. It's already the right thickness. You want to- Oh, old milk is good for nog? Because, yeah, especially if you're adding, like, vodka or whatever into it. Yeah. Yeah, that would sterilize it, wouldn't it? You want to make your festive sludge. Yeah.

Yeah. You should do your first nog with old milk. Do your first nog this nog with old milk. Do your first nog this Christmas. That's like old milk. Isn't nog similar to old milk? From the people that watch you curdled yogurt. Old milk. You love old deal milk.

It's the same as sourdough bread. You want a little bit of last year's nog as the starter. He doesn't get it. Do you have a good starter? He doesn't get nog. I've got a good starter. Well, my uh nana uh began in nana nog i got a nana nog is that one of those you know how like in uh i forgot where like in no it's it's a lot the story's crumbled but they've got those like dishes that are on the bubble all the time. They never go off the bubble and they sell them like as a street vendor that always 24 7

has this like stew and pot. Oh yeah. Infinity stew. Yeah. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. That's our real name. Is it like a infinity nog? Infinity nog. Infinity nog. It's like one of those candles that's always a lot like and whenever it's a lot, God's in the

house or whatever. That's not real, God's in the house or whatever. That's not real. God's in the house, yo. Or like- What? Or like that. It's like, it doesn't like army places have like a lot that never goes out. When you say shit like that, you make religion seem like it's just dumb magic and not at all real.

Okay, well, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. When it's not, it's about a big white man in the clouds. Yeah. Okay. So, the answer in for question number six. Thanks for standing up for religion there, mate. Thanks, man.

Yeah. Number five. Because it's not stupid. Okay. It's about a dude. I didn't mean to make it sound stupid, Ben. Yeah. Because it isn't.

I know that half our listeners are very religious It's about a dude that doesn't want you to jerk off My dad It's about a dude that doesn't want to jerk off your dad Rob Who wants to jerk off Robert what are you doing out there He does call me Robert

Robert please I'm begging you don't do this Your mother and I love you so much Robert, yes. Robert, please, I'm begging you, don't do this. Your mother and I love you so much. You don't need to do this, son. Not on Christmas. Yeah. Jerking off into the Christmas stocking. That's right, into the cornucopia.

What are you doing for Christmas, Ben? Just chilling here. Sick. In this studio. Really? Yeah, right. Well, well there's gonna be air conditioning in here next week so that's very exciting I'll be great and be great timing yeah I'll have all your family over here there's a good table for have all the stewards here yeah you gonna get him in yeah yeah great yeah having all the stewards round extended family just the old eggs all of them Wow yeah it's a big family reunion actually it's a quite a bit of a plan you know yeah I know it'll be hundreds

of people in here except for one yeah well I don't know if this coincidence but this is the first I've heard of this hmm that it yeah but it you just you haven't got the invites no they've No, they've gone out, yeah. I've got mine. Okay. It's going to be big. Are we related? Yeah.

Okay. Distantly, I'm guessing. I wear a mask. Okay. Oh, sorry. She has to shave constantly. Yeah, right. Okay.

You know, before me, like, have we met in person? I was like, no. She's got the Stuart facial hair. Nana? Oh, yeah. Stuart beard. Stuart beard. No, Nana's got the facial hair too.

Yeah. Well, she's dead, but. I don't. Yeah. A love of my heart. I mean, well, I thought. I thought she was dead. You just never know. Where's the nog?

Where's the nana nog? Magic of Christmas. The nana nog will bring her back. No, we're just going to have a little Orphe Christmas, which is actually my favorite type of Christmas. That's great. I've just been in Perth and I'm going back to Perth at the end of Jan. So I was like, fuck you guys.

And then Maggie's parents, parents i think are going away they're living busy and um so we're just like let's take the opportunity to just have a nice christmas what a dream orphan christmas is a good they've been real popular in the last like 10 years i've had a couple of them. They've been good. Yeah. So good. Very boozy. Good. Like real good, good food. Not just like.

We always eat like traditional Christmas foods, winter foods during the hot days. I love it. I want the meat sweats. Meat sweats. That's Christmas to me. I do love meat. It's always seafood for our family. We go out over seafood.

I'll have a roast. You got to do. I think prawns to me are the Christmas our family. We go out over seafood. I'll have a roast. You've got to do- I think prawns to me are the Christmas food. Yeah. Not crackling. It's got to be the fatty skin of an animal. But I also love a meat. So, you could say that prawn is meat.

And yes, you're right. But I also love land meat. Oh, yeah. Like a heavy, dense meat. Yeah. A rich meat. I want a meat that's going to make you Either not shit at all or shit too much What about sky meat

Yeah I love a sky meat I mean you can put in gravy There's not a lot of sky meats That are mainstream though are there I've had turkey, I've had goose Does turkey fly I've had pigeon You've had a pigeon

French I had a pigeon? I've had a pigeon, yeah. Whoa. French. I've had a French pigeon. Yeah, well, the French is a delicious French dishes. What do you think of the French? I love their food.

I actually like the French. I mean, I don't like the French French, but I love the French. Yeah. You know what I mean? Individual Frenches. Yeah, but I don't like the French. French kissing? Not a big fan of the French. Frenchie from Greece what I mean? Individual Frenches. Yeah, but I don't like the French. French kissing? Not a big fan of the French. Frenchie from Greece?

As a whole. French dick nails? That'd be the case of everywhere though, wouldn't it be? Hmm. I guess so. I don't think people on a whole are- Generally, it's less as more with people, I think. Yeah, I think so.

The more you get, the bigger cunts they are. Yeah. Who's your favorite French? Who am I favorite French? Probably the food. Mustard. French is mustard. Oh, yeah. I love French food.

And I used to, back when I drank, love French wine. Oh, French wine. So, they just do that really well. You know what I mean? Like they eat and live quite well. Yeah, yeah. Ah, the French. Cheese and bread is so good, the French. But not the people.

When you said who's your favourite French? No, I mean, I like the people. When I've been to France, I quite enjoy the Parisians. Yeah, I had a lovely time in France. Yeah. They're nice. If France wants to bring us over, get on with it. The only thing that I found-

We'll come over and be in France. I found weird is that they don't really have, like, big swear words there. They're just mean. You know what I mean? Yeah, they don't need them like big swear words there. They're just mean. You know what I mean? Yeah, they don't need them. Oh, that's true. That's efficient, yeah. They cut you down with more words.

Yeah. Yeah. They don't have like a big fucker. They wouldn't be good at improv, I imagine. Excuse my French. Excuse my French. Yes, that's ironic, isn't it? That's interesting, yeah.

Because they just say it. They just say how it is. Pardon my French. I like that about them, though. You? It's so interesting, yeah. Because they just say it. They just say how it is. Pardon my French. I like that about them, though. You're big and dumb and you smell. But no, you, you fuckhead. Yeah. They don't.

I didn't realise they didn't have words. I like the French better than the English. Okay. And they hate each other, traditionally. Traditionally, they've been at war for a very long time. But I think maybe they're getting on all right these days. Yeah, I think they have to. Yeah, okay.

I saw Napoleon and I learnt a lot about their relationship. Right. I've heard it's historically very accurate. I think it's very accurate, yeah. That happened during the 80s, that movie. That was a doco. Yeah, I thought 1659 was at the same year as the Massachusetts Christmas. Yeah, yeah.

A big year. Secrets. Big year on the world stage. Yeah. All right, the answer in. Well, their war kind of led to England losing America. So, they're constant fighting. That's right. The French helped them out.

French helped all the- Hundred year war kind of led to the independence. Resources and stuff. And the French just wanted to constantly dog the English. They were like, we'll help these rebels. And also, but towards the end, the French were so fucked, they couldn't really help the rebels as much as they, you know, probably. Honestly, all it was, it was like a bunch of men would go to a different, like, just

big paddock and then all run at each other. They did that like 12 different times. But they'd also go, this paddock is mine. Yeah. No, this paddock's mine. Yeah, we've got more guys and they're better shots than you. But the paddock was always dog shit. I don't know what they were fighting over.

Oh, you should see those paddocks now, though. The land values of those paddocks are gentrified. Yeah, that's one guy getting a cannonball through his face going, this is going to go up in paddocks. One day. One day there'll be a nice distillery here. See, this is the worst.

I was concentrating and then I come into the end of this. I have no idea what you're talking about. A Bob Cattery person. Back end of a hot riff. Yeah. I'm sure it was something funny. Oh, we're doing a show that is not called that at all. Have you thought, you probably have thought about it since then,

maybe changing the name? No. Imagine if he knew the first name of the show. He would have really stumbled over that. The first name was called Teaching Your Dog to Read. Oh, that's the same show. Yeah. That's the show that's the one I remember. Oh, for God's sake. You should come on. That's why I got it wrong. Why did it change from that?

Because people said. Because we wanted something memorable? Yeah, people said that it was too hard to remember, even though I loved it. But it's teaching you not to represent something good. I'll come on it someday. It scares the shit out of me, of course. Why don't you do it? We can do it 16th.

Do you want to do 16th? Yeah. Ray's also scared, remember? Yeah. Two scared little boys. Oh, yeah. Too late night scared little boys. Also, if. Too late night scared little boys. I'll say if we get a few tweets or something of people saying they'll come.

Yeah. If I'm on, then I'll go. Maybe, you know, like a certain amount. I'll hold you to that. The mat metric. What's the amount, though? Yeah, what's the amount? Well, it's a certain amount.

What's the amount? I'm thinking of a number in my mind. What's the mat metric? It's got to be at least. No, you got to say, let's put it out. A half dozen. A half dozen. I can make some burners. A six at least. No, you got to say, let's put it out. A half dozen. A half dozen. I can make some burners.

A six? Yeah. Yeah. Ten. All right, ten. No, you said six. Yeah, you said six. Okay, if we get.

So, six. Six tweets. When, just reply to the, when this goes out. Mm-hmm. And maybe just tag your old friend, Ben Russell's. And we can hold this accountable. Tag Amy Ruffell the one in the

in London let her know tag Lonseston city bring them in and board this scheme yeah

the metric bring the monkeys in six to ten six it's such a what I get such a low number

did half dozen sound bigger in your head I think it did there's lots more words than six somebody's gonna be doing some improv double dozen Did half dozen sound bigger in your head? I think it did. There's lots more words in six. Somebody's going to be doing some improv. I'm sucking in a double dozen.

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