Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 75 - Kirsty Webeck and Ivan Aristeguieta

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Kirsty Webeck and Ivan Aristeguieta!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart.

And you may know our first guest from ABC's Question Everything or Channel 10's Just For Laughs special. It's Kirstie Wiebeck. Hello. Hello there. Our second guest you may know from Have You Been Paying Attention? It's the maracas from Caracas, Ivan Aristaguetta. Yeah. I brought my maracas.

Did you used to say that about yourself? Because I saw that on your website yesterday. I'm like, I remember that. It's such a great. The maracas from Caracas. Yeah, I love it so much. It's pretty good. You need one.

You're from Canberra originally. Yeah, I use maracas much. It's pretty good. You need one. You're from Canberra originally. Yeah, I use Maracas from Caracas as well and everyone's like, what? What? It doesn't quite seem to fit. But do you have the ways of remembering your name from your previous show? Yeah, I usually do that. Yeah? Yeah.

Your previous shows? Yeah, I usually do that. Yeah? Yeah. So I have this bit that I've been doing recently, and it's about like Kirstie versus Christy, basically, and how to remember my name. And I wrote it literally so people remembered my name after sets.

So like when I'm in a comedy club, they'll be like- You said sets there for the listener. Yeah, and after sex as well. There's nothing worse than when you're just lying there after an intimate evening with a stranger. Anyway, Christy, what a pleasant time we've just had. What a buzzkill. Exactly. I'm like, you called me the wrong name.

That's brought the mood down. And also, my partner's going to be living. Yeah, yeah. I can't relax. That's two crosses in a row. One more and you're out. Yeah, it's almost like this whole thing was a terrible idea. It's like, anyway, Christy Webeck.

Oh, straight through the heart. Christy Webeck. Oh. He made it sound good, though. Like, I'm not even annoyed. It's not my name, Like I'm not even annoyed Yeah It's not my name But I'm not annoyed I think that's

If there's a spectrum Of making things sound good Yvonne and I Are on opposite ends I think so as well I think so too Just really quickly Also

People always call me Webeck Instead of Webeck And the annoying thing Is that I've got to correct Them with the Correct pronunciation Of my name

So Webeck Which is the Shitter version Like I've got to correct them with the correct pronunciation of my name, so Webeck, which is the shitter version. Like, I'd prefer if it was Webeck. It's actually not that good. Yeah, like, Webeck's actually got a bit of a ring to it, but my actual pronunciation is disgusting and could you please respect it moving forward? I think Webeck sounds fancy.

It's French or something. Your surname has only six letters. Mine has 12. Yeah, that's too many. And Aristegueta. So what are you complaining? Is it Webex or Webex? I get Aristegueta.

How close was I earlier? Aristegueta? Yeah. I'll give you 80%. 80? 80? Yeah, yeah. For me, that is fantastic.

Ristigeta. Ristigeta. Ristigeta. Ristigeta. Ristigeta. Oven Risty, Risty Getter. Risty. Risty Getter. Risty Getter. Risty. Ivan Risty Getter here. Yeah. Like, every time anyone ever talks to me about you, like, when they're like, oh, I really

love that friend of yours that you always do stuff with. Ivan. And there's just. Ivan. It's so funny to me, though, because, like, it's just... Like, you're not an Ivan. And so I don't know why, but it really cracks me up when people are like, yeah, I saw you and Ivan the other night at this comedy club. And I'm like...

And I always correct them. I'm like, Ivan. Yeah. They're just two totally different names to me now. Yeah. Like Ivan and Ivan. Ivan is the mass murderer name. Yeah.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's the handlebar moustache outback Australian murderer kind of name. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's the handlebar mustache outback Australian murderer kind of name. Yeah. Ivan is the entertainer. He's the life of the party. Yeah.

He's a muraka from Karaka. Yeah, exactly. He's a piñata. I am the piñata. Everyone, come around. Have a whack. The number of times he has said that in the group chat. Yes, have a whack.

All right, so, Ivan, this is your first time on the show. It's my first time. Kirstie's a multi-winner of the show. Multi-winner. I've got a residency on the show. Just every episode I'm on. And I think I've won every one. I think you might be.

Every now and then I'll ask in the Patreon group, who do we want to have back? And you're always right up the top of the list. Oh, thank you. That's very kind. You're the one who briefed me about how the show. And you're the winner. So you probably told me the wrong way of playing this.

Is this what you normally do? Absolutely. Yeah, that's right. She's always taking out the guests. Matt, why don't you ask this person to be on the podcast? And then I take them out for lunch and I'm like, these are the rules. And yeah, yeah, he's doomed. It's golf rules.

Lower scores, the better. But also, we know that's not true because I have got such an ability with this game that there's no requirement to cheat. You're not a good liar either, are you? I'm a terrible liar. Okay, so this is how the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and you two have to write a convincing fake answer.

I then read the answers, as well as the fake answers, as well as the real one, and then you have to guess which one is correct. Yep. Here's the first question. It comes from listener Bron Liversey from Goulburn in Australia, home of Rambo, the big marino. The big marino. That's right.

That's the name of the marino, Rambo. Rambo, yeah. And the question is, what does the word lalokeza mean? Lalokeza. Wait, hang on. Lalokezia.alokezia. i can spell it l-a-l-o-c-h-e-z-i-a lalokezia. and while you're writing the answers i'll explain how the scoring works. so you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house.

I'll put in two of my own fake answers for each question, and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me. The house. And the house always wins. But because this happened, the guests now get triple points in the final round where I do not which even

sings up a little bit and I haven't won in a month to be honest anyway our questions come from our great Patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes the answers are in for question number one what does the word

lalokesia mean it's the spontaneous and inexplicable loss of body hair from The answers are in for question number one. What does the word lalokesia mean? It's the spontaneous and inexplicable loss of body hair from one's limb. Losing your keys and finding them in unusual places, like the fridge. Just like alopecia means lack of hair, lalokesia means lack of lalo, meaning laughter. It means a speech that is lacking funny. Emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language. Or the inability to be able to tell the difference between real and fake pot plants. Damn.

Oh, no. There's two hair loss related ones. Then you've got losing your keys in weird places. Oh, no. There's two hair loss related ones. Then you've got losing your keys in weird places, emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language, or not being able to tell the difference between real and fake pot plants. In a room full of fake pot plants. I wonder where the inspiration for that one came from. All right.

Well, that would suggest that that one's off the table. One. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. It makes me. I mean, remember, I'm the dastardly house. Yeah.

You are. You're a chickie. The evil house. You never know what I'm up to. You're the filthy cockroach. Cockroach. Now, Elvis, I reckon they should try And rebrand here Cockroaches

Yeah No we're not cockroach We're cockroach Cockroach Oh welcome in then It sounds Hey I've got a great spot For you in my pantry

I am Absolutely chill out I am a friendly cockroach Oh Please make yourself at home Oh my gosh Have the bed Yeah

Have the main bedroom You've earned it I'm going to go for the For the Was it vulgar language Oh, my gosh. Have the bed. Have the main bedroom. You've earned it. I'm going to go for the, was it vulgar language? Vulgar language, yeah. Emotional relief. I'm going to go for that one. All right. What can I get him for a van?

Ivan? Ivan. Ivan. What about you, Christy? Crinkly web stick uh no it's whip stick whip stick um oh wow so there's the two hair ones yes you got the spontaneous inexplicable loss of body hair losing keys finding them in unusual places. Sentence, speech that is lacking in funny. Emotional relief gained by use of indecent or vulgar language

or the inability to be able to tell the difference between real and fake pot plants. I'm going to go for the speech that's lacking funny. Do you know what? You wouldn't read how to relate to that, would you? That's why you're not familiar with this word. In my gut, I actually think Orvin is correct, but I've just got this, like I'm diametrically opposed

to choosing the same answer as someone else. Yeah, okay. But I, so I should get a point if I'm right or if he's not right. Oh yeah, that's another rule. No matter what, Kirstie gets a point. Yeah, okay. That's why she's been winning. Kirstie introduced that rule the first time she was on.

It's so weird how I always win. I've got no idea how it's come about. All right, this is who wrote the answers. Spontaneous and inexplicable loss of body hair. That was Kirstie Wiebeck. Losing your keys and finding them in unusual places like the fridge that was bron the question writer aka the house oh the evil house the house uh may also wrote the inability to be able to tell the difference between real and fake pot plants i really called myself out on that one

yeah you really did but it's funny because i wrote it yeah in a different i was writing this up in another room and at stupid old studios but it also had some fake pot plants. They're obsessed with them here. Oh, my gosh, they are. They're unstoppable. Because they're honest. They will never water a plant. Yeah, that's true.

So, yeah, I understand that. They understand their limitations. Yeah. Yeah. It's honest. It's honest pot plant. Honest planting. Lack of funniness in speech, which Kirstie went for.

That was Yvonne. You dirty dog. And Yvonne was correct. So he gets maximum points in round one there. Oh, my gosh. And none to Kirstie. What? We had an agreement.

Kirstie's looking me with hatred. Like, I brought you here. This is how you repay. I don't think it was a good idea having Ivan on. Is it too late to sub him out? Let's see who else is out in the studio. Wow, that's a hot start there. Yeah, baby.

Ivan. All right, here is... Hot and sexy. Oh, the big double. Question two comes from Aspen from London. And their question is, which of these is a real species of fish? So you've just got to make up. Oh, Kirsty's good at this.

I'm terrible at animals. Terrible. Well, these are normally relatively unusual names for animals. So just have to come up with a name for a fish. So. Could be anything. Okay. I, just have to come up with a name for a fish. So. Could be anything. Okay. I've got a real one here.

Okay. And, yeah, you fill in a few fake ones. Yeah. So, like, think, like, rainbow-headed trout. Yep. Yep. Okay. Don't give me that advice.

No, don't use that one. It was an example. All right. I. Okay. Don't give me that advice. No, don't use that one. It was an example. All right. I'm going. Ivan's like rainbow headed trout. No, no, no. No, Ivan. Rainbow face trout.

Yes. While you're writing your answer, here's some more info on Lalo Kezia. Bron writes, For the most part, we're all told not to use swear words, especially in public as a child. But sometimes situations arise where cursing feels appropriate. That emotional relief or euphoric feeling you get after letting out some swears is called lalokesia. This is definitely a word that you should add to your vocabulary, especially if you're fond of unleashing curse words to de-stress.

Lalakesia roughly translates to crapping out of your mouth, as it comes from the Greek lalos, meaning speech or chatter, and kizo, meaning I defecate. Yeah. You broke it down pretty well there. Yeah, lalos, speech. Nailed it. Well done.

I'm very familiar with crapping out of my mouth. That's why you did say you pretty much knew that was right in your guts. I did, yeah, I did, and I should have followed it. I should have done away with this peculiar rule I've got. Like, you shouldn't live by that rule if you know someone else has the correct answer. Yeah, I think that's probably... Do you think that's a good strategy? I think, generally speaking, picking the right answer is the best strategy, yeah. Even if your friend has two?

Yeah, I think so. Okay, well, we've all learned a lot here today. Yeah. Especially me. The only way that backfires is if they've already voted. It's a house answer and you give double points to the house. That'd be the only way. Because otherwise you're drawing with a van if you go for the same as his.

I'm confused about the house concept. Yeah, yeah. It's a big concept. Are you the house or the person who who where the house they're a big ugly evil team so yeah this house this house has got a big roof and we're all underneath it's it's like an under underworld house it's an underworld house okay they should be called the family the house they should be called the family could be an alternative yeah okay and you're not familiar la familia yeah so there's a network of members

of the house yeah to beat that well yeah what do you have to do to be a member of the house uh just uh support the podcast network at patreon.com slash dig on pod thanks so much for giving me a chance to bring that up. All right, the answer for question number two. Which of these are real species of fish? Wet dogfish. Bony eel. Can open a smooth dream.

Green lantern marlin. Or Randy Gregory. Randy Gregory. Well, it's not that because that's the name of my first boyfriend. And he was not a fish. Can we put it on the record right now that he was not a fish? I have never dated a fish. I'm sick of these rumors that I'm some sort of fishophile. I'm not.

Thank you for having me on this illustrious platform today to denounce these vicious rumors that I have hooked up with fish. I only love land lovers. Thank you. So you've got wet dog, fish, bony, a smooth dream, Green Lantern, Marlon or Randy Gregory. I reckon it's your turn to go first, Kirstie. This avoids you having to worry about...

That's true. I appreciate that. You got a clean slate here. But now it allows Ivan to cheat off me. And I can feel him right now hacking into my brain cells. Yeah. He's got that power. Yeah.

Wet dog fish. It's the Antonio's voice. I am going to use the Antonio voice on you. Oh, no. It's my power. You're in a trance. Kirstie. Kirstie, come back to the room. Oh, no. It's my power. You're in a trance. Kirstie, come back to the room. Oh, no, I'm slipping in and out of consciousness.

Remember Gregory? I'm blacked out. Randy Gregory. Green Lantern Marlin. Green Lantern Marlin. Can open a smooth dream. Bony eel or wet dogfish. Okay.

Green Lantern Marlin rings a bell, as does wet dogfish. Wet dogfish. That's funny. I think we should add wet to the start of all fish names Yeah Yeah, because they're wet But this one is particularly wet Yeah, yeah

This is my dog wet, wet And this is my dog wet, wet Let's go Like the can open a Squidgy worm face one Smooth dream Can open a smooth dream Yeah

That was another one of your exes wasn't it It sounds like a funk band Album title From the 70s That was my ex's pet name For me How much LSD you got? Yeah.

Can opener. Smooth dream. Let's go for the bony eel. Bony eel. What can that in? Kirsty, what are you thinking, Ivan? I'm thinking Randy Gregory. Randy Gregory?

Yeah, because there's a... What's that fish here in Australia? It's like a bit flat and it's got like a big black mole on the side. Oh. That did... Yeah. Australian fish? Yes.

You find them in good fish and chip shops where they have variety. It's got a similar, like someone's name. Yeah, Dory. John Dory. Oh like, someone's name. Yeah, Dory. John Dory. Oh. Hunky Dory. Hunky Dory. No, John Dory.

John Dory. Hunky Dory is the fish and ship shop name. Yeah. John Dory. Yeah, something Dory. Dory. It sounds like a name. So Randy Gregory sounds like a name.

Dory. Yeah, it looks like there's a few Dorys. Dory the Explorey. Dory Yeah it looks like there's a few Dories Dory the Exploree Dory Yeah I guess that's what Finding Dory is named after Yeah it's called John Dory John Dory

Yeah that's a John Dory with a black mole on the side Oh alright there you go That's a John Dory So Randy Gregory sounds like a name like John Dory So I'm going to go for Randy Gregory because it sounds like John Dory Do you reckon it's a mole? Do you reckon it's working for... I wouldn't call that.

Working for us? It's a polka dot. A black polka dot. It's a very... I love you calling it a mole. It's a beauty spot. It's a beauty spot. It's a very basic polka dot address.

Just one dot. Yeah, just one aggressive dot. So it's like John D address. Just one dot. Yeah, just one aggressive dot. So it's like John Dory. Aggressive dot. So I'm going to go Randy Gregory because it sounds like John Dory. This is who wrote the answers. Wet Dogfish. That was by Aspen, the question writer.

I was so close to going for that one. And I think they know that I love, it's probably my favourite movie quote of all time from Annie, where Daddy Warbucks comes in and he says, Why do I smell wet dog? Wet. A wet dog. I think that's cinema To me

That's cinema There's no There's no sense in watching Any other films after that No I hardly ever do Yeah Cause I'm like

Not as good Not as good Not as good No good Then we had Green Lantern Marlin Which Kirstie was interested in And said

Definitely recognise it And that would be Cause you wrote it Kirstie Oh Cheeky i'm so sneaky i can't believe it didn't work though it works all the time it it it almost worked on me it was my second uh yeah choice i'm a real snake and now that kirsty's got you there she can double bluff your next time by saying one of them she didn't write yeah i think actually this is and you'd be

like well it's obviously not them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kirstie's the only one who really plays this as 3D chess. I think that says too much about my character. No, there's a few others who probably use similar... Arguably dirty, arguably genius tactics. Yeah, I can't remember who I was on with,

but I remember that there was a bit of double jeopardy going on between us maybe it was serena or somebody but no serena does not straight shooter no oh wait i don't think i don't remember serena ever really seeming like he was caring about winning or losing oh okay whereas i'm deeply passionate i think you told me i've not been on with her. I think you told me. That hurts. I've not been on with her, but I think you told me that Mish. Yeah, Mish will play similar games. Zach Ruane played similar games. Oh, he would for sure.

Yeah, yeah. He would. We're really going to get you, Mish, and Zach on one episode. It'll be carnage. That would be an epic battle. It'll probably go for like eight to ten hours. I feel excluded in this podcast because I haven't done the, I need to be back.

I want to be in the... Part of the law. I want to be part of the house. I want to be a member of the house. No, you can't be in the house, Ivan. You've got to stay on this side with us. I should be in the house because I think I'm very good at this game. You could join the house. We could do it maybe one day. You're letting him in the house and I've never been

in the house. If I become a patron and then I'm a guest, can I just win every time? Because I get a special feeling. I think you might have unlocked something there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then we had the bony eel, which Kirsten went for. That was Yvonne. You think you're trying to get in his head, but it's the other way around so far.

Oh, my God, Yvonne. This is the last podcast I am bringing you on to. I my God, Ivan. This is the last podcast I am bringing you on to. I'm good at this. You are and I'm furious. And he's doing it in his second language. Ivan went for Randy Gregory.

That was the house. That's actually the name of a San Francisco 49er. Which is such a great name anyway randy gregory randy gregory yes so don't tell me that the the can opener yeah can you believe it can open a smooth dream which sounds like a random name generators it's a katie perry song or a rapper i could be if i was a rapper that would be my name. That's just... Canoper Smooth Train. I think that's up for grabs. You know, they've got dibs on that name in the water,

but I think it's up for grabs on land. I reckon. Yeah, that's exactly right, because they're two different ecosystems. Two different ecosystems, two different copyright systems. That's an ugly fish. It's an ugly... It's a deep sea fish, I think.

Can I please have a peek? It's horrendous. Look at that. It looks like a lump of coal. Oh. Actually, it looks like it's a deep sea fish, I think. It's a deep sea fish. Can I please have a peek? It's horrendous. Look at that. It looks like a lump of coal. Oh. Actually, it looks like it's out of Alien. It's a cheeky fish, one of those that have like a little warm looking thing stuck to the, like a fish pole. Yeah, like a lot on its head.

Like a lure. Right, yeah. Why has it got such a... But the face is disgusting. It's got such a whimsical name Yeah But it looks like it's from a health game It's not a smooth dream at all

This is a nightmare Yeah, that's right It's a jagged nightmare Yeah, it's an active nightmare I'll wake up sweating if I see that It genuinely looks like something from Alien And it's also known as a longhead dreamer, but like... Yeah, none of the names.

It's rank. And I'm a big fish fan. I'm hard-pressed finding a fish that I don't think is... Yeah, we... ...not a leaf mildly attractive. You're actually... You're undoing some of your good work from before. I mean, I've never found a fish that I'm not attracted to as a friend.

As a friend, yeah. As a friend. Oh, God. Oh, no, this is getting deleted, isn't it? I'm looking forward to the emails, Ladder, please. Matt, please, can you get rid of that? I forgot earlier on that I tried to clear my name and then I've regret. Yvonne.

Yes. He got into my head with his Antonio voice and all of a sudden I'm letting everyone know about my fish. He made the episode horny. There was no turning back. There was no turning back. Here's question number three. That's why she went bony eel. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, a lot of incriminating evidence here today Kirsten So the next question comes from Aurelie Blanc From Switzerland And Aurelie's question is What is the unusual name of one of Switzerland's Loveliest waterfalls

Switzerland We want the English translation Of the of one of Switzerland's loveliest waterfalls. Switzerland, what? We want the English translation of the name of one of Switzerland's loveliest waterfalls. So it'll just be a phrase or whatever. Okay. And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about the can-open-a-smooth dream.

According to Wiki, the like scientific name is like cheyenne nephrine longiceps which i think matches it better yeah that sounds like an alien absolutely but it's commonly known as the can opener smooth dream the log longhead dreamer or smooth head dreamer which so that these ugly deepwater fish are called dreamers? Dreamers, I guess. Nightmares. Yeah, they've got it. They're very ugly.

Maybe it's ironic. You know, like they're called redheads, bluey. Maybe it's like that. Do they, bluey? Yeah, they do. They call doby people rowdy. I've had all those ironic nicknames. Oh.

Hey, I didn't realize it was ironic for quite a while. I'm like, yeah, I like to party. Yeah, so it's a species of anglerfish known for its monstrous appearance, inky black in color, and sharp pointed teeth. Yeah, it's such a funny name for a fish that looks like that. Yeah, I can't believe they didn't use the word harrowing in that description. Yeah, yeah. You'll never unsee it.

You won't. It's literally the stuff of nightmares. It will be tonight for us three. It will be. Yeah, I'll be texting you at 2 a.m. Did it come to you in your dream too? Yeah, in a sweat. My sleep paralysis demon has become

the can opener. Smooth dream. It's just sitting on the foot of my bed staring at me while I'm definitely trying to rouse from my slumber. Yeah, and you're next. You're lying in bed with another fish.

I'm just lying there trying to have some sweet dreams with my bony eel. We're up to question number three. What is the unusual name of one of Switzerland's loveliest waterfalls? That's in Aurelie's words. Yes. I've never seen this waterfall.

Yeah. Okay. So here are your options. The chocolate swirl. The peeing cow. Beautiful lady waterfall. Dry flow falls. Or feeling of helplessness flowing over a cliff. Can you repeat them, please?

The chocolate swirl. Yeah. The peeing cow, beautiful lady waterfall, dry flow falls, or feeling of helplessness flowing over a cliff. It's more like a short poem, that one. I'm going to go... It's my turn, right? Yeah. I'm going to go for the last one

because I will assume that that translates into a German thing. It could be like the German side of Switzerland and it means like something, fashion, fashion, fashion. That's what it actually means. I'm going to go for that one. All right. No worries. It's got a bit of a... Yeah, like schadenfreude or whatever. Yeah, fashion, fashion, and that's what it actually means, but I'm going to go for that one. All right, no worries. Yeah, it's got a bit of a, yeah, like schadenfreude or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This guy really thinks it through, doesn't he? Yeah. I'm like, I reckon it's this because that's funny. Speaking of which, peeing cow for me. Lock it in, please. Yes. All right, let's go through the answers. Dryflow Falls, which I found really hard to say for some reason.

That was Kirstie Wiebeck. Hey. Got you. Oh, no, I didn't. Okay. Were you nearly tricked by Dryflow Falls? I was. You're lying.

Oh, you're trying to protect me, Antonio. Also known as the Menopausia Falls. Oh. Sorry. Oh, you're trying to protect me, Antonio. Also known as the Menopausia Falls. Oh. Sorry. I love being involved in a podcast episode where someone gets cancelled. So on that, if you currently have tickets to see Ivan's new tour, it's cancelled. I'm just repeating my mum's own jokes. So that's it.

Oh no. He's uncancelled. Kirstie cancelling mum's. My mum's joke. Oh no. Now Kirstie's been cancelled. It's my internalised misogyny. Oh no.

The chocolate swirl, that was orally. That's very Swiss. Yeah, very Swiss. And very funny as well. A beautiful lady waterfall, aka Bella Donna L'Acqua Cade, maybe. It was Ivan. He gave me the Italian as well.

That's on the Italian side. It's the Bella Donna. Wow. The beautiful lady. All right. It didn't work. We get it. You're from Europe.

My mom. Okay, the beautiful menstruator. Menopause jokes are okay. Are not canceled in Europe. So, Ivan went for feeling of helplessness flying over a cliff. That was the house. Damn.

That was exactly what I was trying to go for as well. A bit of German sound. Yes. Good job. You got it. I didn't even know that it was that close to Switzerland. You got it. I mean, I knew that, of course.

You knew. They call me the human map. You knew it in your gut. Yeah, yeah. Deep down. It's Austria. Right. It's not Germany. It's Austria. Right. Well, Switzerland's up your gut. Yeah, yeah. Deep down. Yeah. He said it's Austria. Right. It's not Germany.

It's Austria. Right. Well, Switzerland's up there somewhere. Yeah. Because Switzerland has... Italian border. That's where my ancestors are from, the Swiss-Italian border. Belladonna.

Belladonna. That's, yeah, my great-great-great-grandmother was probably known as that. Belladonna Waterfall. That means, Kirstie is correct, it's the peeing cow. Yay! I knew it on a cellular level. Yeah, you just knew deep down. It hit the spot.

Would you know what, I guess it's the Italian maybe? The translation is la pisavace. Beautiful. Which does sound a lot nicer, doesn't it? La Pissavacce. La Pissavacce. Yeah. It's a good name for a Brunswick cafe.

The Pissing Cow. It's right. Totally. It absolutely is. So, a point for Kirsty and a point for the house. Why is that only one point? Because you got it right, but if you get it right, you get a point. Oh, you get a point if Yvonne gets tricked.

You've done this before. You should know. Yvonne. This is all part of Kirsty's tactics. Yeah. I'm trying to get into the house's head. Yeah, yeah. It looks like you're messing around with the figures there, though, Matt.

Oh, yeah. Actually, no, you're right. I accidentally gave your point to Yvonne. Oh, my God. I was only joking. So, if you win, it's probably illegitimate. I like it. I like casting doubt while it's still going.

It's very Trumpian. If we do lose, it was rigged. Yeah. But I made him think about his grandma. Yeah, that was a good moment. Yeah. That was nice. The Mascherini family.

There's been some highs and lows on this pod so far. So the score after three rounds is Kirstie on one point, the house on two points, but out in front on three points, it's Yvonne. Oh, no. You got two in the first round, one in the second round, none in the third round. How many did you think that you got? Did I get? Oh, round, one in the second round, none in the third round. How many did you think that you got?

Did I get... Oh, yeah, one in the second round? Yeah. What? Yeah, one in the second round. So between three of us each round, we get up to two points. Yeah. Did I get two points in the second round as well?

No, you only got one because you... I didn't... You guessed the correct answer, but no one chose your answer. But you guessed my answer. Okay, yeah. You guessed Randy Gregory, so the house got a point there. You're right. Sorry, sorry to get me up on this.

I like this. My barn is bringing a bit of Kirstie energy on this one. Sorry to get bogged down in this, but can we just have a quick recount? You're always right to ask that. I'm not... Probably not the best. So the person who writes the question Is the house as well

I'm going back So there's two houses No we're all the house Okay The person who writes the question This is the most confusing part of the show Yeah But it doesn't matter

The only reason that there's Numerous people involved in the house Is to have extra False answers Yeah So there's two false answers That a house should write Either me or

The question writer Sometimes they're both me Sometimes they're both The question writer But between us there's two I'm loving this game Just hit me with the next question I'm going to destroy this

Now he's moving you along After making you answer Another time This is my tactics Matt I'm sorry I'm going to drive everybody nuts I'm sorry for suggesting this fella I've actually never met him.

I brought him along as a networking opportunity, and it's gone terribly. Help an immigrant. He's like a big brother, but for immigrants. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So, question four comes from Barb Wire from Sault Ste. Marie in Canada. And Barb's question is, Rex Tyler first appeared in Adventure Comics issue number 48 in 1940. What was his alter ego name and superpower?

Either of you comic book fans? I have no idea who Rex Tyler is. No. I think this is an obscure comic book character. Or do I? Oh. Oh, no. Oh, he's in my head again.

Matt, could you please read it out again? Yep. Rex Tyler first appeared in Adventure Comics 48 in 1940. What was his alter ego name and superpower? Basically, there's an obscure comic book character that was released in 1940. You've just got to give it a superhero name or supervillain name and superpower. Beautiful.

No worries. And while you're writing those answers, I'll let the listeners know a bit more about the peeing cow. If anyone's just tuning in now, they'll know what it is. Again, it's a Brunswick cafe. Yeah, it's a Brunswick cafe. Great lunch menu. Yeah, yeah. Again, it's a Brunswick cafe. Yeah, it's a Brunswick cafe. Great lunch menu.

Yeah, great sandwiches. Orally writes, the pisavace, okay, peeing cow, or perhaps cow's pee, is a 116-meter waterfall situated in Valais, maybe in Switzerland. Unfortunately, I could not find whether there was a specific cow story that gave it its name. The locals may simply have thought that it looked like cow's pee. It's very picturesque and has therefore attracted the attention of tourists, painters and writers over the centuries. German writer Goethe, I'm guessing some famous guy, goath, for instance, climbed to the top of the waterfall in 1779 and he wrote that it was so beautiful he could have stayed there for days. The waterfall

is considerably less impressive today than it was in the 18th and 19th century when it was at the height of its fame because the construction of a dam has reduced the amount of water flowing down it remains however very funny to the children of the region including me thank you so much for bringing that to our attention orally and while they're still writing their answers let's go for a quick break and we're back here is question four re Rex Tyler, who first appeared in Adventure Comics number 48 in 1940, had an alter ego name and superpower. What were they? Tyrannical Rex. Could morph into a dinosaur form and was an arch nemesis of Wonder Woman.

Got Rhino Man. He can break down walls with his head. Our Man, who would have incredible superpowers for exactly one hour at a time. Radio Man, a supervillain who can interfere with radio waves and hack communication. Or Sandy, the time-traveling dandy. A flamboyant man who found a flute that allowed him to time-travel To travel anywhere in time and space I would love to be Sandy the time-traveller dandy

Could you please say the first one again? Tyrannical Rex Could morph into dinosaur form And was an arch-nemesis of Wonder Woman So you've got Tyrannical Rex, Rhino Man, Our Man, Radio Man, or Sandy the Time Travelling Dandy. And I think question four means

we're back to Kirstie having her first crack. Radio Man. Radio Man. All right, locking that in for Kirsty. What are you thinking about? You didn't even pretend. Yeah. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. But I won't go with that. I like Rhino Man. You like Rhino Man? Yeah. Great. All right, lock that in. Here's who wrote the answers.

Tyrannical Rex. That was the house. Oh, yeah. As was Sandy the time-travelling dandy. So that means Rhino Man, which Yvonne went for. That was Kirstie. Hey, I got him. Radio Man, which Kirstie went for.

That was Yvonne. The correct answer is Our Man. No. Oh Oh my gosh That's the silliest That's so bad It's so bad 1940 they had all options on the table You know

That's so Yeah nobody had done Like superheroes in 1940 How cool The sky's the limit Our Man Oh that's great I've got an idea for a superhero

Bland Man Oh yeah I like it Because most superheroes they have Power man. Oh, that's great. I've got an idea for a superhero. Bland man. Oh, yeah, I like it. Because most superheroes, they have their alter ego. So the citizen option is very common and dull. And then when they become a superhero, they have a cape and they're very flamboyant. So this is the opposite. This is a guy who is like liberace and that's his everyday life yeah and when liberace becomes a superhero it's just a beige guy bland man and no one remembers how he

looks like because it was just a guy that looks like every single human which is a it's a great ability for a vigilante right yeah but but the it will never be famous and they'll never because no one knows they'll never suspect liberace though yeah you shouldn't make it literally liberace liberace is the the original the alter ego of bland man that's so good so that means a point to avon and a point to kirsty i got you a radio man oh no because i went like very old school yeah that what that felt like a 1940s one. But so did Rhino Man, I think. What's his superpower?

He can break walls. Yeah. Yeah, I was definitely going low status. Rhino Man. So question number five comes from Francis Redmond from Tassie. And the question is, before he went solo, John Denver was in a vocal group called the Mitchell Trio. What's the name of the single they released in 1966?

Do you know who John Denver is? Mm-hmm. Rocky Mountain High and Country Road or whatever. Oh, like, where's Virginia? Yeah, yeah, that guy. So before he went solo, he was in a trio. That was slightly comical, but... And what's the question again?

So his trio before he went solo, the Mitchell Trio, what was the name of their single they released in 1966? So you need a name of a song. 1966. Yep. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about our man. According to Barb,

I have nothing fun to say. I just think his power is silly and stupid since Maceo brought it to my attention years ago. Meso being Nick Mason from the Weekly Planet podcast. To fill in some more info, I went to DC Fandom and they wrote, Our man was created by Ken Fitch and Bernard Bailey. He's a masked vigilante who uses a drug named Miraclo to give him incredible superpowers for exactly one hour.

Rex Tyler is the original version, a scientist who created the chemical and fought crime with it. Then his son Rick Tyler succeeded him as the second hour man. And then there was one called Matthew Tyler. Funnily enough, had the same surname, but was actually a super intelligent android created in the 853rd century who traveled back into the modern era and held the position for several years. The character has been involved with the All-Star Squadron, Justice Society, Freedom Fighters, and the Justice League. Wow. Yeah. They should have like nine to five men.

Working hour man. working hour man so can he he's he can only fight crime during the hours of nine to five yeah that's pretty fun yeah like crime waves just really kick off now after hours but white collar criminals were there he can't get out of the way. All right. The question is... After Hours Man. After Hours Man. Yeah, he teams up with After Hours Man.

What about Happy Hour Man? He can only work when there's people drinking. Yeah. Two for one. Between three and six. Which is brutal for him because he'll never get to experience happy hour for himself. Yeah. It's always on the clock.

Yeah, it's horrible. All right. Answering for question number five. Before he went solo, John Denver was in a vocal group called the Mitchell Trio. What was the name of the single they released in 1966? The sun goes down each day. The flying monkey man got me And he'll get you too

D-D-D-D-Do-Do-Do-Do your job Sweet Cherry Or your friendly liberal neighborhood Ku Klux Klan Oh my gosh I mean, yeah I reckon after this We go book a music recording studio and we cut these five tracks. Yeah.

Yeah, I reckon so. Release an EP. Can you repeat them? Because they're amazing. Please. The sun goes down each day. The flying monkey man got me and he'll get you too. Dee, dee, dee, dee, doo, doo, doo, doo, your job.

Sweet cherry or your friendly liberal neighborhood Ku Klux Klan? I'm going to go for dee, dee, dee, dee, doo, doo, doo, your job. Okay. That's the theme song of the 905 Man. I like to say doo, doo. Doo, doo. Yeah. Yeah.

It got banned by the BBC because it said doo, doo. I'm going to go for the flying monkey man got me and he'll get you too. All right. Because that's also the name of my autobiography. All right. This is who wrote the answers. Sweet Cherry.

That was Yvonne. This sounded like a trio. There's always like a sweet cherry pie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Cherry, cherry. There was a lot of cherries back then. Yeah, there was a lot of cherries.

I love cherries. I was singing about cherry back then. What's the deal with them and cherries? Does this sound like a Kirstie rant? What's the deal with them and cherries? Why are they obsessed with cherries? I love that that's your impression of me. What's the deal with them and cherries?

You're like an angry Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? An aggressive Australian Jerry Seinfeld. The sun goes down each day. That was Kirstie Weebeck. So good. I suspected that.

How dare you? What was your thought process there? Because it's very, it was tricky. Like it could have been an answer, but it's like, oh, that's, I don't know. It sounds very, very cursed. Okay. Okay. Say no more.

I'm going to stop hanging out with this guy. The flying monkey man got me and he'll get you too. That was the house. I hate the house. But the house also wrote D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, neighborhood Ku Klux Klan. No. Wow, it's like a satire kind of song. Satirical. Yeah, yeah. I'll read some lyrics for the listeners.

Yes, please. But that means two points to the house that round. And with only two rounds left, it is truly anyone's game. Curse is on two points. Avon's on four points. And the house is also on four points. Can we do double points? Last round's triple points for you too not for me because i sort of have an advantage we've figured out over time somehow even though we can each get two points per round a mathematician messaged me at one point says you know the fate you're still slightly favoredoured. So you get to come home with a wet sail.

How are you wet? Yeah, wet sail. A wet dog sail. What's a wet sail? All of a sudden, Kirstie had wet. Wet. You know what else is wet? Fish.

And once a fish is wet, you know what else is wet? What's a wet sail? What's a wet? Sail. Wet sail. Yeah, come on. Did I just say that? Yeah, you said you get to come home with a wet? Sail. A wet sail? Yeah, come on. Did I just say that? Yeah, you said you get to come home with a wet sail. That's a saying that I've never thought about,

but that means I guess in sailing, if the sail's wet, they go faster? Yeah. What? Matt's nautical. Oh, yeah. I love being on the sea. And what's the meaning of the saying? What's the meaning?

Like you get to come home faster. Yeah. All right. Let me look this up. Because no one is a sailor. Like there's a small percentage. Matt is. Oh, yeah.

I'm a big sailor. Yeah, Matt's a sailor. I'm a yachtsman. Have you ever noticed how he's always wet? It's because he's always come off the bay. He looks like a Scottish Viking. He's right there, Ivar. Yeah.

Question six comes from Kate Gardoke. And Kate, in the form they can fill out, I say, if you're worried about me pronouncing your name, which most people should be, I say, give me any tips. And Kate wrote, pronounce the rhyme with oie-dokie, as in okie-dokie, Kate Gar-dokie.

That's cool. That sounds like a fish name. That's cool. I'm going to save that for a future fish name. Yeah, okie-dokie, Kate Gar-dokie. And Kate Gar-dokie is from Cape Nettick in Maine, but born and raised in New Jersey. And that's why this question is very New Jersey heavy.

Kate's question is, what newspaper headline did The Guardian run after something occurred in New Jersey in 2023? The date exactly was May 7th, 2023. So this is a headline? Yes, you've got to write a newspaper headline from The Guardian. And it's about something relating to New Jersey from May 2023. Kate said, the house gets an extra point if I read it in a New Jersey accent. I don't know if I know that New Jersey accent. New Jersey, is that it? Hey, a mock in here. Is that it? Here's some lyrics from your friendly neighborhood, liberal neighborhood Ku Klux Klan. Is there a clavin in your town? If not,

then why not have us down? You'll never recognize us. There's a smile upon our face. We're changing all our dirty sheets and are cleaning up the place yep since we got a lawyer and a public relations man we're your friendly liberal neighborhood ku klux klan all right let me read out one of the verses there's quite a lot of them people should look it up if they came but uh this is it gives you an example of the kind of fun they're having now we've heard them call us deadbeats and we'd like to say we're not we'll all stand on our record and that's one thing we've all got and we only have that arsenal so that you won't raise no fuss and if you don't like that then

call the cops because chances are they're us a bit of fun the Mm. Mm. The clans. Those are good. Clans in the cops, yeah. Good protest. Clans in the cops. Good protest song. Yeah. I've seen, I've watched a performance of it and it's very cheerful. Okay.

Oh. So it's not like a rap. No. Hip hop would have sounded better. Yeah, it could have done. Yeah, John Denver. Famous rapper. Not, it could have done. Yeah, John Denver, famous rapper. Notorious for his rapping abilities.

All right. This question has asked you to put together a headline from May 2023 in The Guardian that is about a story that is New Jersey related. And here are your options. Fish fall from the sky during horror storm. Can either of you do a New Jersey accent? No. No.

I can't do accents. Yeah, okay. I can't do Aussie. They're very offensive. Unint unintentionally. So I don't do it because I enjoy my career. I can do Mexican and I'm fine. So the first option, fish fall from the sky during horror storm.

You got Fox Pop. Who would win in a fight between the boss, Jon Bon Jovi and Tony Soprano? We hit the streets of Newark to find out. Holy macaroni! New Jersey town baffled by 500 pounds of pasta dumped by Brooke. I didn't smell nothing, claims landowner in Buttsville, New Jersey

sewerage debacle. Or, we are certainly not New York. Bit defensive, that one. Fish fall from the sky during a horror storm. Fox pop who would win in a fight between the boss, Jon Bon Jovi and Tony Soprano. We hit the streets of Newark to find out. Holy macaroni.

New Joyce-y town. No, I can't. Baffled by 500 pounds of pasta dumped by Brooke. I think that's Brooke is in a body of water, not by a person named Brooke. Yeah, I took it as a body of water. I didn't smell nothing. Claims landowner in Buttsville, New Jersey.

Sewage debacle or we are certainly not New York! Exclamation mark. So what are we up to? Question six. This means it's you. I feel sick. Why? Because I'm behind.

I need a wet sail. I need a wet sail You need a wet sail I need a wet sail Well you've got a sail You just need to wetten it I need to wetten it Wetten it I need to wetten my sail I need

Yeah I need to dampen it up Um Okay I'm partial to a fish I need to dampen it up. Okay. I'm partial to a fish. I didn't even... I mean, it says horror storm, but for you that would be a dream. Yeah.

Fish fall from the sky. Sounds like a speed dating event to me. Got to catch them all. You got to catch them all. Fish fall from the sky in a horror storm. That's on the short list. You're a bit of a

Rex Hunt type though, aren't you? You kiss them and send them back. I do. Yeah. I'm a player. Because she's vegetarian. She doesn't eat the fish.

No, I don't know. It just smooches them. Just give them a little kiss on the top of their head and off they go. Yeah, fish must be jumping out to you somewhat. I wish. You got the Vox Pop about three New Jersey's favorite sons.

And you got Holy Macaroni with the pasta dumped by Brooke. Didn't smell nothing. Landowner in Buttsville, New Jersey, or we are certainly not New York, exclamation mark. I'm going to say we're certainly not New York, exclamation mark. All right. What do you reckon that story would be about? A tourism campaign or something?

Like, nah, like something, oh man, I didn't know you were going to ask for follow-up. No, I just thought maybe you might have had a theory there. I'm joking. You look genuinely put out by it. Yeah, but I've cracked it. I've cracked it. I'm halfway out the door. I said no further questions.

Matt, I locked in the answer. Leave me alone. This is actually bordering on harassment now. This is actually bordering on harassment now. I think there's like cows on the road or something. I don't know. Something regional. Yeah, yeah.

You know, and they're like, well, this wouldn't happen in New York. Yeah. But there's a huge part deep within me. That wants to fish. Always. That goes without saying at this point um i want it to be the buttsville sewerage one but yeah all right let's go with we're certainly not new york i was gonna go for that one i thought it was the new york ones yeah you can you can go to the same oh have you got the same policy i don't want to do this yeah he doesn't want to do the same

oh i thought it could have been like um have been like a politician saying something about New York and then being proud and then New Jersey's like, nah, we don't like that. Yeah, right. And then we like that. So that means if you're leaving that one out, you've got Fish Falling From The Sky, The Vox Pop, you've got Holy Macaroni. Macaroni. I think there's a lot of Italians in New Jersey.

Yeah, because of Soprano. I think there's a lot of Italians in New Jersey. Yeah, because of Sopranos. And you think that a lot of Italians in New Jersey and they can't manage their pasta. Exactly. Yes. 500 pounds. That's a lot, isn't it?

That's 200, 250. How many kilos is a pound? A pound is almost half a kilo. I think it's a bit more than half a kilo. Isn't it? That's a lot of pasta. So it's like 250 something kilos of... Between 250 and 300 kilos of pasta.

Why do you reckon it got dumped by the brook? Well... Just to go full Matt Stewart on you. I think it was... The worst thing you could do. I think it was a product recall. I'm just making this up. From a pasta company and it had some bacteria and they had to dump it

and they dumped it the wrong way and they went to the brook. Okay. What do you think the pasta company was? No, I'm kidding. All right, let's see what the answer is. Fish falls from the sky, which Kirstie was thinking about. That was Kirstie. Oh, I nearly tricked myself.

Wow. I was going to lock in my own answer. The Vox Pop one. That was the house. And the house in particular, Kate also wrote, I didn't smell nothing. Buttsville. But Kate did write in the notes that Buttsville, New Jersey is a real place. Incredible.

I really wanted it to be. Look at this. We certainly are not New York. Kirsten went for that. That was Yvonne. I just wanted to give you false hope. He did the same thing to me. I gave you false hope.

But he did it after you'd locked in. Yeah. It was really just rubbing it in. You did it to give me... You're a monster. You're an actual... You're the land version of a can opener smooth drink. And that means Ivan was also correct.

Holy macaroni. And why was it recent? Well, they're still baffled by it. That was in the... They don't know it's a mystery. I don't know. It's a mystery.

Mystery pasta. Apparently it's a bunch of theories but people don't know what happened. That's my favorite dish in a Ligon Street restaurant. It's given the mystery pasta. Can I get 500 pounds

of the mystery pasta, please? Yeah. I got quite an appetite. All right, that brings us up to the final question. Question number seven. Still truly anyone's game here. So I'm destroying this game, right? I got two points.

You got two points there. Score's going on the final round. Kirstie got two points. The house on four points, but out in front on six points. Ooh, six points. Kirstie. But in this final round, there are six points up for grabs because it's triple points. And the final question comes from Travis Alexander from Gulfport in MS in the USA.

There's too many M states that I can never remember. It's in Massachusetts? Mississippi, apparently. So Travis from Mississippi asks, What is the synopsis for the 2014 film Bad Johnson? So, this will be probably your longest answer. Two or three sentences long, approximately. What is the synopsis for the 2014 film Bad Johnson?

While your answers are being written, here's some more info about the pasta story according to kate the pasta was dumped raw but was discovered after a rain so it looked like someone had cooked 400 pounds of pasta and then dumped it eventually they discovered that a guy had been cleaning out his mother's house before selling it and was overwhelmed by all the undercooked pasta okay so it wasn't a mystery at all sorry for it was just some guy dumped it because he his mom was a pasta hoarder before the mystery was solved people had lots of theories as the new york times reported quote before long the town was consumed with theories about who might have dumped the pasta and why especially in a state

known for its love of italian food was it a caterer with a last minute cancellation for a wedding a restaurant cooking for a football team that never showed up uh and according to the guardian the images that were shared triggered a slew of reactions some criticizing the dumping for being wasteful one person wrote what a disgrace the spaghetti could have been given to a food pantry or for homeless people another said so many can't afford food what a waste never mind the threat to the environment while others found it humorous there's really a two types of people kind of scenario uh somebody wrote cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Jeez.

And then someone else wrote, I can't get what's the problem? Just pour a couple of buckets of sauce on and you're good to go. Yeah, bada bim, bada boom. Bada bim, bada boom, okay. Is that vaguely Jersey style? Oh my God, the answers are in. And it's all come down to this. Final question.

Can you tell me the figures again quickly, please? Sorry, the scores. Yes. Just to put up anticipation. 246, Kirstie the House of Arm. Oh, I can't. I'm really upset. You need maximum points here. Oh, no.

So you've got to be sure to get your... You need maximum pointers. Oh, my God. What I wouldn't do right now for a wet sale. Here is the final question. What is the synopsis for the 2014 film Bad Johnson? In this sequel to Bad Santa, Johnson is a mall Easter bunny with a foul mouth

and no patience for kids. Will Johnson change his attitude after falling for the young woman working at the pretzel store? It's good to have a bit of a question, I reckon, in a synopsis. Yeah, really? I'm in. I'm in all the way. You do love that.

You do love a question in a synopsis. What? Will they learn something? A little something about themselves along the way. You do love that. You do love a question and it's not this. Will they learn something? A little something about themselves along the way? That's my favourite. So that's option one. Then you've got, a young district attorney discovers a terrible fact about his family's history. No questions

there, just facts. Then we've got, Dick Powell is a small-time crook with dreams of making a big score. His life takes a turn when he crosses paths with Johnson, an escaped circus chimp with a knack for stealing valuable jewels. Wow. Then you've got Ray Johnson the monkey. Johnson the monkey, yeah. I love that.

You wrote that one, mate. I love that one. I know what you're doing. You're psyching me out. I know what love that one. I know what you're doing. You're psyching me out. I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. Wow. I like that one.

Get out of town. There you go. Ray Johnson is a real estate agent who can't catch a break. After hitting a paperboy with his car and fleeing the scene, he takes off on a road trip across the country to make a fresh start with comically disastrous outcomes at every turn. Or finally,

a charismatic womanizer wishes that his penis would leave him alone, but he soon receives his comeuppance after his Johnson mysteriously leaves his body and takes human form. Oh no. Okay, so just quickly got the sequel to Bad Santa about a mall Easter bunny.

Got a young district attorney discovering a terrible fact. You've got the chimp, sorry, stealing valuable jewels. You've got the real estate agent who tries to make a fresh start, but there are comically disastrous outcomes at every turn. Or the charismatic womanizer whose penis leaves his body and takes on human form. So you've each had three goes first. Because there's an odd number of questions.

Who wants to go first on this one? You want to flip a coin? Oh, I like it. Who has coins? No one has coins anymore. Like, I went to Bunnings recently and now you can pay with your card for Sausage Thistle. Oh, really?

Yeah. Now, that's got to be one of the last bastions of the cash out. Yeah. All right. I'm putting my thumb up on my left or my right hand. Who wants which? Left hand. Left hand.

That leaves right for you, Kirsten. Yeah. It's right. So that means you want to choose first or second? I'll go second. Sucked in. Okay. I'm going to go forucked in. Okay. I'm going to go for the last option.

Womanizer? Because you said comeuppance and it's finished. I love comeuppance. I love when people choose like a full movie synopsis because a word they love. Yeah. Comeuppance. That's Hollywood to me. Yeah.

I do that with dishes when hollywood to me yeah i do that i do that in in with dishes when i go to a restaurant i just just because one ingredient i'm gonna order the thing and i don't care about the thing but it's got asparagus i like asparagus yeah this asparagus about to get its comeuppance now vaughn's in culinary heaven um i'm going to go for the district attorney. District attorney. All right. Locking that in for Kirstie. Here is who wrote the answers.

The sequel to Bad Santa. That was Travis, aka The House. I like how it was called Bad Johnson in this case, not Bad Bunny or something. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was like, what? Bad Rudolph.

I like that a lot. Travis also wrote the one about the chimp with a knack for stealing valuable jewels. I like how he had Dick Powell involved as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really thought Ivan had written that one. Yeah, I like how he sort of, that was like a double bluff almost. Yeah. He double bluffed me.

He's sneaky, this guy. Very sneaky. Ray Johnson, the real estate agent who can't catch a break. That was Kirstie Wiebeck. I thought that was a good one. That was a good one. I thought that was a good one. That must have been on your list.

Can't catch a break. Was that on your short list? Yeah, that's classic. That's close to comeuppance. Yeah. You could feel that this guy had a comeuppance on the way, couldn't you, Ray Johnson? Then we had, Kirstie went for a young district attorney discovering a terrible fact.

That was Yvonne. And Yvonne also got the correct answer, charismatic womanizer. Oh, no. All right. This is Yvonne's up. My sail is so wet. He's doing a victory pose. Oh, no.

Drench sail. I've got a drench sail. Oh, my God. My sail's never a victory pose. Oh, no. Drench sale. I've got a drench sale. Oh, my God. My sale's never been drier. The southern sale. Why is my sale so dry? I've never lost and I invited you into my world here with who knew it was Matt Stewart. You made a mockery of me.

I think I have a record score. Well, no, actually, let me... I've still got to do the sums here. We'll figure it out. Oh, you haven't even announced it yet, but can... You do a recount. I'll do a recount. I'll do a pre-count.

Do a pre-count and a recount. I'll quickly tell you about the film. It sounds like it's not too good. It has unrodden tomatoes. Critics give it 28% the audience don't even respect that much with 22% approval rating but I'll give you a quick positive and a quick negative

review the positive one says a pretty rare positive review to be honest comes from Elizabeth Weitzman wrote Bad Johnson works much better than it should because really it shouldn't work at all and she gave it 3 out of five stars. Whereas Robert Abele from the LA Times wrote,

A movie of our times, even if it's not especially good, funny or interesting. Wow. That's what he's saying. It's a big opinion about what's happening in our time. Yeah, yeah. It's not funny, interesting, nothing. It's got no redeeming features, but

check it out. Alright, here's the final score check. Kirstie's final score, two points. The house, four points, but way, way out in front on 12 points, it's Yvonne. Yay! Oh my gosh. I think there's been a doping scandal. Yeah.

Alright, I'm not going to concede that Y that Ivan's victorious until he does a urine sample. Until he pees into this cup. The pissing cow. The pissing cow. I want a sample. Oh, my God. Thank you so much for joining us, both of you. You've both got big Australian and maybe New Zealand tours coming up.

Where can people find you? Yeah, we both have a New Zealand tour. And we're going to be there in the same week. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Maybe we'll do the double. It's a shame that we fell out today. Yeah, it's a shame.

We were planning on hanging out. But never mind. Yeah, okay. So my, yeah, I've got a show called I'll Be the Judge of That. It's very funny. It's packed full of jokes because the genre demands it. And it's touring all over. Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Newcastle, Hobart,

Launceston, Warrnambool, Cairns, Auckland. Awesome. More dates to be announced as well. So it's a whole heap of fun. One hour stand up. Writing that down, Kirsty. The genre demands lots of jokes Yeah lots of jokes

Is that where you've been going wrong? Yeah about 11 years in That's good to find out now Yeah If you say it's a stand up hour People want jokes Oh I just thought it was about physically Yeah okay

Yeah no you need jokes mate There's more than just that You thought it was just about the comeuppance Yeah The standuppance The standuppance Same I'm doing a new show called Too Easy Too Easy

Too Easy mate Very funny You always have great titles Very funny The Happy Pappy That's an old timer I reckon Happy Pappy yeah Happy Pappy

Chorizo Sizzle Oh yeah very good What about me? Oh you do comedy, do you? I'm doing the show in all the festivals in Australia and also Wellington and Auckland. Awesome. The Windy City, Wellington.

So good. Wasn't it was wasn't that Chicago Chicago yeah I think Chicago might have been named

after Wellington Wellington is probably the original Windy City I heard I had a archbarker recently

very funny I loved it I loved the joke he was like oh go to Chicago and then when I go

there I get my car and I turn left and then turn right and then

left and right and then right right right and then right, right, right, and then left, left, left. No wonder why they call it the Windy Sensing. Orange Park. Funny. I loved it. Good joke.

I also have jokes in my show. Yes. So people can check out your website for all those tickets. Yeah, ivancomedy.com.au. kirstiewebeck.com, all over the socials at kirstiewebeck also. Ivan did very well to get comedy.com.au, didn't he? Well, he created comedy in this country. Ivan Comedy.

Ivan Comedy, okay. No, he didn't get comedy with comedy. Imagine. Actually, I think Token got that. They did. They definitely did. Thanks so much for listening. Please go see their shows.

Also, come see me. I'm in Adelaide right now with Saran, Jaya Mana doing our show, Dry Dry. Going to be in Melbourne and Brisbane and Sydney afterwards. Thanks so much for listening. Please give us a five-star review. I've been getting a lot of five-star reviews since I've been, I think, maybe almost in a sad way begging for it. That's how you do it. I think there's been some pity, but they've been really nice.

And honestly, a few times I've had a look and it's really picked me back up. You should do it like the YouTube clips, like, okay, welcome to my podcast. But before we start the show, can you just like, subscribe, hit that. Smash that like button. Yeah, punch it. Punch it. Punch it. Yeah, maybe tell your friends if you know anyone who might enjoy it. I mean, everyone's got Yvonne and Kirstie fans in the family.

Maybe this is the perfect episode to send their way. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Goodbye. Yeah, so you want to write like the, you want to try and make it as convincing as possible. Yes. But then also like.

Ridiculous and funny. Yeah. Yeah, because Matt always writes some silly ones as well. So if yours is silly, it could just blend in with Matt's anyway. But the other thing as well that I didn't, it took me a while to twig onto, it might be common knowledge for other people, but I'll tell you, is that when Matt's reading out the correct answers at the end, he says,

and this answer, blah, blah, blah, was written by the house. And that means it was written by him or the listener. Oh, okay. Because I was like, what house? Why is this house able to write answers? Part of the problem is because I do a lot of the explaining. I said explaining weird, but I do a lot of the explaining. Explaining, yes.

While you're writing the questions and the answers. So I'm telling the listeners, but yeah, you're like, wait, what? What is that? At first I'm guessing like, wait, how does the scoring work? Oh, I explained that while you weren't paying attention sorry that's that's why i always come with kirsty because she translates yes she knows she knows my limitations because ivan the house i'm like oh thank you thank you thank you the house yeah i needed to know that set up as like the you know the evil house the dastard. Yeah, we're fighting against the evil house.

I've done a few live shows and the house sort of gets booed and stuff. Yeah, I love it. I'm like, hang on, I'm the host. You're the host or the house or both. And is this videoed? No. Great. I should, but I'll let you know before I bring you in if I'm starting to film it.

So I can do a bit of hair and lippy. Well, I know some people are like, wait, are you filming this? Because sometimes the cameras, they just are left on. Yeah. And people come in and are like, wait, are you filming this? I'm like, oh, no, don't. Yeah. You should get a little pre-warning, I think.

I reckon as well, because I've done some podcasts recently, and it's almost a given now that they're going to be recorded, like videoed. Yeah. But I keep forgetting, because I'm used to it not, and I'll rock up looking like the wreck of the Hesperus, and they'll be like, oh, we're filming, and I'm like, oh, are we?

Can you put a filter on me, on my camera, please? Has anyone brought a mask along? Three, what is the unusual name of one of Switzerland's... Sorry. That'll be edited out. Nah. Nah. We'll edit that out.

Nah. People listening to this show think I'm so smooth. They think I'm a real smooth dreamer. You're a smooth dreamer. Can't open a smooth dream. Smooth dreamer. Now, we've heard it said our leadership's not qualified to lead. Well, I'm telling you that just ain't true.

Are you Googling? Kirsty, are you Googling? No. Are you Googling? I was listening to Matt Is that Sammy J and Dave Thornton? Yeah Oh my god

I was simply listening to Matt Oh my god Sammy J Suns out, guns out Right Boney Eel That's Sammy J's nickname For the listeners

Sammy J Is uh Kirstie's Look I think she's just googled Yeah No Nude people

Near water No because you're on Facebook Messenger I was closing Yeah you're on Facebook Messenger I was closing You know when you've got loads of windows open That are draining your battery

Yeah yeah I was closing them And I saw that on Instagram And As I was closing, you know when you've got loads of windows open that are draining your battery? Yeah, yeah. I was closing them, and I saw that on Instagram as I was closing it, and it was Sammy J and Thornow. Back in the 80s. Stantially clad in a hotel pool. So good. Yeah. Sorry, sorry everyone for disrupting the podcast. Hey, no.

Terrible please. Disrupt away. You're known as a disruptor. Yeah, you've got a little bit more a little bit more leeway than kirsty i've got a mexican accents probably yeah i've got a wet sail yeah yeah you're coming home with a wet sail yeah i can do an aussie accent go and give what's your aussie accent go on all right go on mate so the first option. I'm so stoked that there's a town called Buttsville.

Let me see if I can find out anything about it. You're the mayor of Buttsville. Thank you so much, Kirstie. That means a lot. It's named after Michael Robert Butts and has a population, as of 2020 census, 205 people. What about... I'm still thinking about the macaroni. What about...

This is someone who hated people with gluten intolerance and just want to contaminate the water. The water supply with gluten. Yeah. Matt, you know, if you overcook pasta, how gluggy it gets? Imagine just leaving it contaminate the water. The water supply with gluten. Yeah. Matt, you know, if you overcook pasta, how gluggy it gets? Imagine just leaving it in nonstop. That would just be very glutinous.

Very glutinous. So it could be a great supervillain. Gluten, glutinous man. My name is Glutinous Gluteus. My name is Glututenous Maximus. I think he doesn't find that as a bad thing. I find it a great thing. He looks like a Scottish Viking. I love how

I'm happy with that for sure. It's actually Italian-Swiss Viking. None of the many I'm on previous guest David Astle's website I think based on a Google. He's written a blog about coming home with a wet sail.

He says, you may have heard a phrase on letters and numbers or across the first week in the AFL, sports calls love it, good teams do it, and good yachts too, no doubt. By my reckoning, the phrase means to finish a contest strongly, in particular from a trailing position looming as a possible late winner. Yeah, all right. Well, it's very fitting in this situation. I'm someone who needs to come home with a wet sail right now. Yes.

Yeah, that's right. You're in a position to come home with a wet sail. I could have the wettest sail of all of us. Sayings are proper and it needs to be updated. Yeah. Because no one sails. But it's so and it needs to be updated. Yeah. Because no one sells. But it's so funny. No, it's cool though.

Hit the iron while it's hot. Like no one is a blacksmith. I like sayings that you're sort of saying like someone goes, what does that mean? I know what it means, but I don't know where it came from. Yeah, I love that. I love that we still use old-fashioned stuff that doesn't apply to now. That doesn't apply.

Like, I've never heard coming home with a wet sail, but you rest assured that it's pretty much the only thing I'll be saying moving forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it sounds like no one really knows what it means either, but based on this blog by David Astlett says, one person he asked suggested that sailors deliberately wet their sails to give them a telling weight advantage and strong wind. I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. There we go. So it's like advantage. Yeah. Okay. And it just means you're coming home strong. Okay. That's how I'm going to the pizzen cow now because I'm very hungry.

Yeah. I'm going to. I just arrived with a now because I'm very hungry. I'm going to... I just arrived with a wet sail. And they're like, okay. Oh, sure. There's a hand dryer over there. Come up to the counter when you're ready to order.