Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 77 - Lizzy Hoo, Suren Jayemanne and Bronwyn Kuss

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was recorded live at the Rhino Room in Adelaide and features comedians Lizzy Hoo (The Melbourne Oxfam Gala), Bronwyn Kuss (BBC Radio 4 Extra’s Newsjack) and Suren Jayemanne (Good Tucker)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and my sidekick this week is comedian extraordinaire, host of Good Tucker. It's Saran Jayamana.

How's everyone doing? Thanks for coming. Hey, Saran, our first guest this week has just had huge news Has everyone heard? Just been announced as this year's Melbourne Oxfam Comedy Gala host It's Lizzie Hu Thank you everyone So stoked, man, I was pumped to see that I imagine you got pretty excited too, or? Yeah, and then it was like, don't fuck it up That's the main thought

yeah yeah right you never would ask our second guest lizzy uh this week is touring her show pillows quadruple x all around australia it's bromwyn kass it feels like you should have closed on lizzy's news It feels like you should have closed on Lizzie's news. Feels like a bit of a letdown after that. Not opening the gala, not on it, nothing. Cool. You were on last year. Yeah.

Hey. Yeah, that kind of hurts more, doesn't it? Am I pronouncing your show right? Is it Pillows quadruple X? No, it's Pillows kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Okay. But I am the only person calling it that. Right.

You're closer than I am. At the moment, I think people are calling it Pillows XXXX. Okay. I've made a huge mistake. It's bad. Show's good. Title is bad. For people, are there tickets available for the last show tonight? Oh, there's always tickets available.

Tickets. In this very room, if anyone here tonight wants to come along, hot tip. Okay, so Lizzie and Serena, I know how the show works, but Bron, this is your first time. So how it works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer I then read their answer as well as a real one and I have to guess

which one is correct do we need our phone oh my god are they like oh yeah great I think I over explained some things and obviously Are they, like... They're just there. Oh, yeah, great. Okay. I think I over-explained some things and obviously didn't explain at all other things. I did say you'd have to message the answer to Serena. I thought you might have filled in the blanks, but you were probably thinking, like, with a letter or something. Do you have your phone, Farah? I do, yeah.

Maybe I should be hosting the call. Alright, the first question comes from listener Francis Redman from Tassie and the question is, what does crepe hanger mean? What does crepe hanger mean? While you're writing those answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant.

And another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way, Bron, I'm also playing as the house. Okay. Never quite sure how they'll react to me, and it's not been positive here. Well, you know, what does that mean? That means that I'm putting in two of my own fake answers with the help of the question writers, and I get a point for each one of those that you two choose as well. So each of us can score up to two points per round,

which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me, the house. And the house always wins. Well, it did last week, actually. But funnily enough, there was a technical issue and no-one will ever hear about it. But... What a shame. So because of that reason, the guests get triple points in the final round to even things up a little bit and our questions come from

our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level by patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in your show notes any patrons in tonight thanks so much for coming. Sorry, we just realised that we weren't Facebook friends. Oh, my God. That's even more brutal than the gala rejection. Yeah, me and Lizzie have been friends for years. But I just sent my aunt to them. Oh, that's all right.

I'm allowed to know it as well. Is that all right? Yeah. But I meant to send it to Seren. That's okay. Okay, so here it's asking me if I reply to Bronwyn. Should I hit block? Yeah.

All right. So while the answers are coming in, I'll open up the floor. What do you want to know? Don't really know what you want to know? Okay. Well, that doesn't give me a heap to go off. Do you have a question? For life?

Or about the... Because Lizzie, who's about to host the gala, and she can fill you in on any sort of life lessons. Or goss. No, I don't have any goss. We can bleep out names. Do you want to quickly put some goss on the record? Off the record?

Oh, I don't know what I've got. What's some Adelaide fringe goss? Oh, I don't have any of that. I just go home. Yeah. Yeah. That's really clever. I've not been doing that.

How are you finding Adelaide? I'm a big fan. I love Adelaide. All right, the answer's a win. I I love Adelaide. All right, the answers are in. I thought that was so smooth. We covered that beautifully. The answers are in for question number one. What does crepe hanger mean?

A small basket used to dry ham? A Victorian era worker who would hang advertising posters or crepes on public walls? French Speedos. A killjoy, someone who takes a pessimistic view of things or a derogatory term for a French person. Okay Do you want to go first Lizzie? I'm thinking It is a

A killjoy Okay Yeah Yeah Put that in I'm going to lock that in I don't know They're just

Hanging crepes I don't know It just feels like You're right That person doesn't sound fun Yeah That's not what you should be doing You should be eating that If someone was like Do you want to come hang crepes. I don't know. It just feels like... You're right. That person doesn't sound fun. Yeah. That's not what you should be doing. You should be eating that.

If someone was like, do you want to come hang crepes with me? Yeah. You're like, no. You're a killjoy. If it's a crepe dangler and they're sort of like keeping it out of your reach. That's a fun person.

Okay. Yeah. Making a little game of it. Just trying to get a nibble. What do you think, Bron? What was the newspaper one? The advertising posters one. Victorian era worker would hang out advertising posters or crepes on public walls.

I feel like Victorian era would call stuff like something silly, like crepes. Yeah, yeah. Victorian era comes up a lot on this show, actually. You're going to go that one? I'm going to go that's my guess. Alright. Here's who wrote the answers. A derogatory term for a French person. That was the house. French speedos.

That was Bronwyn. Sometimes I ask for an explanation, but I don't think that one needs one. I was nervous. This is my first time playing, and I think I can relax now. One laugh, I'm out. I'll leave the rest to the gala host. Gala host is getting roasted.

Speaking of the gala host, Lizzie wrote, A small basket used to dry ham. That's good fun. I nearly picked that. Yes. Yeah, that's good. I'm about winning.

I don't want to be funny. A Victorian era worker who would hang advertising posts or crepes on public walls. Problem went for that. That was the house. That's absolute nonsense.

Hanging crepes on the walls. Crepe paper? that's a thing. Crepe paper, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, that is... Makes sense. Who looks stupid now? And that means Lizzie is correct.

It's a killjoy. Crepe banger. I'm Soma. So that means one point for Lizzie and one point for the house because Bronwyn picked a house option there. Do you get it? Yeah, everyone gets a point but me. I got it.

But you were right. The crepe is not about the thin pancakes. It is more about the fabric or the paper. Do I get a point? I mean, that's up to Serena who's keeping score. Look at him. I'd be open to it. We're not friends.

That's a pretty strong no from Serena. Maybe if you're on a gala. Gala performers get a bit more leeway. We're not. So I'll tell the listeners a bit more about it. But yeah, there was about black crepe paper during morning rituals. So that was the people that had crepe hangers were, you know, I guess they weren't all that happy.

But I think that's probably fair enough. All right. Here's question two. This comes from McKenna Middlebrook from Newark, New York. They're two different words, but I said them the same, I think. Newark, New York. Oh, that was worse. Was that in Sopranos?

Newark? I think Newark is in... Sopranos? Yeah, Newark, New York. New Joyce. I think we all just nailed that accent. Newjose. That's how you get to the gala. That's how you get to the gala.

That's how you get to the gala. See you at the top, guys. McKenna's question is, what's the name of this bird? So you just have to come up with a fake bird species name. Make up a species of bird. While you're doing that,

I'll tell the audience and Sar more about crape hangers called a Miriam Webster black crepe paper or black crepe fabric if I want to read the actual word was once an important part of mourning ritual it was sown into dresses and veils wrapped in bands around hats and arms and draped over doors we can speculate that to those who started using this insult, a crepe hanger was a killjoy, almost in a literal sense. The sort of person who took pleasure in a funeral. Any crepe hangers in the night?

Weird thing to... Yeah, OK. Alright, it looks like the answers are in for question number two Which is, what's the name Which one of these is a real species of bird? The Budapest short-faced tumbler pigeon? The smooth-bellied potter clint? The Helsinki longfoot clucker the blue titted grass parrot or the lady budgerigar

Okay, I think you went first last time, didn't you, Lizzie? You want to go first, Bron? All right. What's the Clint one? Smooth-bellied potter Clint. I just feel like no one would have come up with the word Clint. It's like a fake word. It's like, I don't think you guys... Clint's in.

You're right now, you're right. Yeah, and I don't think you've got it in you. The human mind couldn't come up with that. Yeah. A bird would have called itself that, mate. Yeah. It's like a sound it makes. That's what I'm thinking.

You going to lock that one in, Bron? You sound like you know too much about it. Like you made it up. Read out the names again. I'm going to watch Lizzie's face. Oh. Sorry. Read her like a book.

Now I'm going to change. What are the answers again? Actually, since you've been discussing it, Soren's entered another option. So we'll go through them all. It doesn't really help if you tell them. No, I won't say which one it is. I won't say which one it is.

Here are all the options. The Lady Budgerigaga, the Blue-Titted Grass Parrot, the Helsinki Long-Footed Clucker, the Smooth-Bellied Potterclint, the Budapest Short-Faced Tumble Pigeon, or the Lizzie Who host of the Galah? They will probably name a bird after you after the... I'm going to stick with Clint.

Stick with Clint. There was a lot of eye movement on the Budapest one. Stop looking at me! What do you think, Lizzie? Could I read them again? Lady Budgerigaga, blue-titted grass parrot, Helsinki long-footed clucker, smooth-bellied potter clint, Budapest short-faced tumbler pigeon or of course, I mean you would have heard of this one though. Lizzy who hosted the galah? Helsinki.

Helsinki. Helsinki. Okay, locking that in. Lizzy, here's who wrote the answers. Lady Budgerigar was the house. Blue-titted grass parent was Bronwyn. This might surprise some. So, Ren wrote the Lizzie who hosted the girl.

Did Seren get a point? Aw, yay. Well, that's up to Saran. The answer is Saran already has 10. If the mics didn't pick it up, someone asked. Wait, you can ask and then Connor can put it in in post. May Saran have a point? A beautiful read. Very believable the second time.

Smooth-bellied potter clint, which Bronwyn went for. That was Lizzie Ho. Oh! Are you aware? I'm actually going to throw my chair. It feels so great that you've finally found a player as bad as me. You might be able to be sidekick next time. Race to the bottom, yeah. Oh, is this the promotion you get?

Not the promotion I wanted. Wait, can we get another reading of that line? Not the promotion I wanted. Wait, can we get another reading of that line? So the... Lizzie went for the Helsinki long-footed clucker. That was McKenna, aka The House. So a point for The House there, meaning the correct answer is the Budapest short-faced tumbler pigeon. And you've got to see this thing.

It is insane looking. I don't really believe... Wow. That kind of looks like you asked AI to draw you a turkey. Bizarre. That is bizarre. And yet there have been, would you believe it,

specifically bred by humans. Yeah. We is bizarre. And yet there have been, would you believe it, specifically bred by humans. Oh. Yeah. We did that. Well, more specifically, the people of Budapest did that. Alright, so we're up to question number three. And that's one point for the house and one point for Lizzie Hu, the gala

host. I'm never going to live this down. I want to call it Melbourne Comedy Festival now, but I don't want to do it anymore. host maybe you get one of these shirts made for the gala that say gala host on it all right question number three comes from Ashley Dickinson from Bradford in West Yorkshire Ashley has become a specialist on this show. Regular listeners might be familiar with some of Ashley's questions. They're always Chuck Tingle-based. Okay, so Chuck Tingle's...

Chuck Tingle is an author... We're across Chuck Tingle. Oh, are you really? Chuck Tingle's a very popular self-published author of absurd erotic fiction. So you've got to write the title of an absurd erotic fiction novel and then

we'll figure out which one's the real Chuck Tingle. And you can't be too weird for Chuck. You're going to find it hard to be weirder than Chuck, I think. I picked one of the more moderate works of Chuck, or Ashley did anyway. So while you're writing those answers, absurd but erotic fiction titles, I'll let the audience know a bit more about the Budapest short-faced tumblers.

Got on a wiki, they are a breed of fancy pigeon. I mean, fancy. An abomination is what I would fancy pigeon developed over many years of selective breeding they were really focusing on the for the listeners at home the eyes are too big for it's head

I mean they would have looked it up by now I'm pretty sure the breed was created in Budapest in Hungary and along with other varieties of domesticated pigeons they're all descendants of the rock dove. That got him excited! Oh the rock dove! Oh there you go! I didn't know that.

Yeah not all facts are fun. I didn't know that. Yeah, not all facts are fun. Alright, do the answers look like they're in, Saran? Sorry, just sending an email. Saran does look like he's doing his other job. I feel like I'm in a start-up on the side. Need to get you a bean bag or something. Alright.

Question three. Chuck Tingle writes absurd but sexy stories. Which one of these is a real Chuck Tingle classic? Mary Pumpkins super fragilistic expiala butt stuff. Three ducks two girls and one night in paradise

I mean the rooms already hot Wow night-night my sweetheart see you in the pool that is absurd. I'm in a love triangle with two squares. Or bisexual mothman mailman makes a special delivery in our butts. It didn't need in our butts. No. We got it, Chuck. We got it. Agree to disagree. I think it hinges.

Yeah. Saran, if you're working, I won't feel free, but I'll slide it in seamlessly again. In the meantime, Lizzie, any thoughts? I always forget them. Just quickly, you've got Mary Pumpkins, Three Ducks, Two Girls, One Night in Paradise, Night Night, My Sweetheart, See You in the Pool,

I'm in a Love Triangle with Two Squares, and Bisexual Mothman Mailman makes a special delivery in our butts. Triangle Two Squares. Okay, Triangle Two Squares for Lizzie. What do you think, Bron? I'm going to go Mary Pumpkins. Oh. Because I just want it to be Mary Pumpkins.

Okay, great. And also I don't think you can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I couldn't read it either. All right, here's the answers. Night, night, my sweetheart. See you in the pool. That was gala host Lizzie Who. That should be a sign off.

Yeah, bro, say hi to your mum. Night night, my sweetheart. See you in the pool. Oh, please close the gala window. Oh, please close the gala when you're in the room. Three ducks, two girls, one night in paradise. That was Bronwyn Cass. That was hot, Bron.

You've been sitting on that for a while, all right? There's no way you just came up with that. It was almost the name of this year's show. Mary Pumpkins, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious butt stuff. That was Ashley, aka The House. Now, you're right. I mean, Ashley is deep in the mind of Chuck Tingle. One point, Saren.

If that was your reasoning, still no. I'm in a love triangle with two squares. That's what Lizzie went for. That was the house. So the correct answer is bisexual mothman mailman makes a special delivery in our butts. What?

Did you guys know that was it? We got a few readers in. Okay, yeah. It's the vibe I was getting. We got a few readers in. Okay, yeah. Yeah. We've all read it. Yeah. Yeah, wow. It's the vibe I was getting. They just might know the kind of general vibe of this work. Can you... I hope that you can, like, elaborate on what a mothman is.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So a mothman is a cryptid, like a Bigfoot or a Loch Ness Monster. Oh, it is, actually. That was spotted in America like in the just working for the US Post yeah yeah

that's right yeah they're always mailmen as well but yeah they're fascinating oh it's a mothman mailman

I thought it was two people who teamed up it was like a mothman and he had a little mailman friend and they were getting that's what I pictured. Like Newman.

Yeah. That put you on the wrong path. Yeah, otherwise I would have picked it. Point. So that round, I believe you each picked a house answer. So that's two points for the dastardly house. We're up to question number four.

This one comes from Adelaide. Are you in tonight, Brent Hills Hayes? So Brent's question is, in what unusual way did Arthur Cobcroft die? In what unusual way did Arthur Cobcroft die? While you're writing those answers, here's a little bit more info about the novel. Ashley gives us the breakdown. It probably is the blurb from the back of the book, to be honest, but it goes,

Cooper and his wife, Ivy, have been swamped with work, barely able to leave the house as they type away on their laptops in separate rooms. They typically find adventure in globetrotting travel, but with the arrival of a handsome new mothman mailman named... ...named Indrid, they suddenly find the adventure coming to them.

Realising that this handsome cryptid is flirting back, the couple soon begin to order more and more parcels. Culminating in an erotic bisexual delivery that's certain to bring some first-class stimulation to your package. That's like a good read. Hey, while you're still writing your answer, let's go for a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks.

Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, we're back. Looks like the answers are in, are they, Saran? Jeez, you guys are efficient. This one's still coming? Efficient. Well, I should say the gala hosts in the room are efficient. Let's not forget when she forgot her phone.

Yeah, are you a reader of erotic fiction at all, Lizzie? No, I haven't got into that yet. What would your... If you were going to flesh out your story, Night Night, My Sweetheart, See You in the Pool, what would the sort of elevator pitch be for that novel? Oh, OK, so it's a couple and then they go to bed and then one person in the couple goes to the pool. Yep.

That is hot. Is anyone else feeling something in their package? And then they get wet. Oh, my God. Okay, that's a bit much, Lizzie. Blushing. I know. All right, the answers are in. Okay, that's a bit much, Lizzie. Blushing. Alright, the answers are in.

Question number four. In what unusual way did Arthur Cobcroft die? He was kicked in the head by a Shetland pony. He was made to sit through dryer dryer in the alley cat. He laughed himself to death after reading about how commodity prices had changed over a period of five years. prices had changed over a period of five years. While telling his bees some bad news, they turned on him, stinging him to death. He choked on mothballs from a mailman.

Or he went for his nightly constitutional in the countryside and was attacked by foxes and eaten alive. I should say, you might notice there was one extra answer there. Yeah, Serena's jumped in again. He might get more points on the board, I guess. But I think if you start giving yourself more points, you're really going to have to let Bron in at some point. I'll take a half. Right, Bron,

what are you thinking? In the spirit of the gala, all of my points are going to the what I consider tonight's Oxfam. The real charity, Bron and Cust. Finally. We should do a score check, by the way. Yeah, do you want to do a quick score check?

So, Lizzie's on two The house is on four And courtesy of charity Bronwyn's out ahead on ten So Bronwyn's on none Zero Alright Bron What do you like

Kicked in the head By Shetland Pony Had to sit through Dry dryer in the alley cat Yeah That was You saw the ambulance Here the other night What do you like? Kicked in the head by a Shetland pony, had to sit through dry dryer in the alley cat. Yeah, that was... You saw the ambulance here the other night? Oh, no, that was real. Laughed himself to death because of commodity prices,

got stung to death after telling his bees bad news, choked on mothballs from a male man, or went for his nightly constitutional in the countryside attacked by foxes eaten alive? I'll go kicked in the head by a Shetland pony because that just seemed to be a crowd favourite. Everyone seemed to laugh very hard. I'm not sure why.

Is this like a joke I'm missing? Well, there's an underground smash hit sketch by Stupid Old Studios called Kicked in the Head by a Shetland Pony. Right. But I don't know if that's what they were reacting to. I thought it was odd, but I'm sticking to it. Maybe...

I was honestly, I was surprised it got that reaction and I'm not sure, maybe it's just a beautifully written sentence by Alistair Tremblay-Burchell that works in any context, but I don't know. It's also so funny that Bronwyn didn't know about that sketch but is just very dubious about these people's comedic talent.

Your instincts are wrong. I thought they were like quite violent. Yeah. There is time to change if you want to not pick the wrong answer. Okay.

Unless I get 10 points if I get this one right. You're driving hard bargain Look I'm happy for you to lose if you want to I can't come back I get minus Double or nothing We're making up the rules now

This is our game I rarely have control of this show Alright, keep it locked in? Yeah, I'm going to go kicked in the head by a show. And Lizzie, what are you thinking? Well, I'm glad you went for that because I was going to go for that. I'm going to go for bees. Bees.

Another reference to a previous work of mine. Oh no. We're so unfamiliar with your work. We're huge fans of yours, Matt. Well, in that case, I'm going to lock in he was made to sit through dryer, dryer. Seren, you can't pick your own answer. I'm pretty sure

Arthur Cobcroft came on night four. It's even hotter in that room somehow than this alright here's who wrote the answers choked on mothballs from a mailman

that was Brom and Cuss attacked by foxes and eaten alive that was Lizzie Who from the dark mind of Lizzie Who my favourite detail was that

Lizzie Who oh sorry no that's that... Edge Lord, Lizzie Who. Oh, sorry. No, that's it. That's all I had to say. He went for his nightly constitutional. What a beautiful word. I've never... What is that?

Like a nightly walk. Oh, okay. A constitutional. You know, you go out for a constitutional. I always thought it was a euphemism for having a shit, but... Do you know what? That's constipational. Constipational, yeah. Night night-night my sweetheart I'm going for my constitution in the pool they get three total for the English market kicked in there by

Shetland Pony that was Brent okay the house Brent also wrote the one about the bees. No! He's familiar with my work. And that may... Oh, and yes, Saran did do the one about how someone died in our show. I mean, we're already sold out tonight. I guess we don't have to keep the facade up that we want people to come. That means the correct answer is

he laughed himself to death after reading about how commodity prices had changed over a five year period. If you thought they laughed hard, it kicked in the head. So again, that's two points for the house and maybe some pity points for them if you feel like it.

Thanks for that question, Bren. Thanks for coming along. The next one comes from a previous guest on the show when we were touring in England, Helena Heath from Birmingham in the UK. And Helena's question is, which of these is a real move in MMA? Either of you MMA fans?

Oh, not really. No. No. Any MMA fans in the, not really. No. No. Any MMA fans in the house? No. Okay. Oh, that's weird. We're not... In the house is Crook and that. Doesn't matter, but it's more of a Chuck Tingle type

scenario. So you've got to come up with just the name. You don't have to explain it. Just the name. You know, like, what's a famous wrestling move? I can't think of a single one. Like the figure four. You know, something like, whatever. Whatever.

Alright, while you're writing your answers, here's an article about Arthur Cobcroft that was written the day after his death. Laughter causes death. Sydney. Has it happened in Sydney. That headline would get you in, wouldn't it? Mr. Arthur

Copcroft, living in Leichhardt, picked up a newspaper of a 1915 date and was comparing the prices of various commodities with those of today. He suddenly burst into laughter at the great difference. He appeared to be unable to control himself and eventually collapsed and died.

What's that reaction? This man. How did he die? A father. A brother. A son. He appeared... Yeah, so, I mean, this was in 1920. The family's probably moved on.

A doctor pronounced that the death was due to heart failure caused by excessive laughter. Mr Cobcroft was well known as a trainer of coursing dogs. He was 54 years of age. Yeah, not so funny now that you know of the great work he does with coursing dogs what's course course as in like like three course meal oh yeah right right right well kill him I have a grey hand, that's why They're not familiar with your work either We got the answers in here, Saran?

I don't know, my laptop may have internet issues Okay Well, if that's the case let me tell you, Bron more about this guy Oh, please No, it's actually really grim Let me tell you, Bron, more about this guy. Oh, please.

No, it's actually really grim. He got divorced because he was violent with his wife. I'm not good at padding. I'm sweating. But he could still find joy. Yeah. Can we just let the listeners know who you're with, Seren? Telstra.

But also, can we let the listeners know we are in a dungeon? I've updated it, but... I'm going to jump on my phone. I'm going to jump on my phone. Okay, that's great. What if I start reading the answers and then by the end you can put in there... I can read it. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. That is amazing that I did not... Okay, that's great. What if I start reading the answers and then by the end you can put in there? I can read it. Oh, yes.

Oh, my God. That is amazing that I did not. I was nowhere near thinking of that. Hey, Bron, you can learn a little lesson from this. This is how you take over the show. I don't think his internet's down. The internet is not down. I'm on Telstra and it's fine.

Question five. Which of these is a real move in MMA? The first answer. I'm on Telstra and it's fine. Question five. Which of these is a real move in MMA? The first answer, the Peruvian necktie. The snake shiv. The reverse donkey hold. The fussy grandma. The petrol pump and dump. or the Tethering Issue.

I really want to know where you get your ideas, Saran. I'm very in the moment. All right, I think we're back to you, Lizzie. I think Grandma, Grandma, whatever that was The Fussy Grandma Classic, you know, tough MMA fighters He's gone for the Fussy Grandma Can't believe it

Can you imagine Joe Rogan? Yeah Announcing that He's gone for the Fussy Grandma Is that good? That is almost as good as your New Jersey from before. All right, so locking in the fussy grandma for Lizzie. What are you thinking, Bron?

I'm thinking Peruvian necktie. Oh, nice. That's a fancy sort of manoeuvre, I think, the Peruvian necktie. Yeah, I've got nothing else to go with it. All right, locking that in for Bron. You reckon that? I thought snake shiv, it's too soft. You that in for Bron. You reckon that? I think, I thought like snake shiv, it's too soft. You couldn't shiv someone

with a snake, Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. On a wreck snake. Yeah. Oh. Well, I hadn't thought that far.

Yeah, maybe if it was, I don't know if they do that, but or even like if it's a dead, you know, asphyxiate, not asphyxiate. Oh,

rigor mortis, is that what you mean? Rigor mortis is what I meant. I meant rigor mortis. It would be very hard for a snake to do self-asphyxiation. Asphyxiation? Autoerotic?

Yeah. I think you're riding another chuck, whatever you're into. Surely a snake is like either has no throat or it's all throat. Okay. I'll go back to hosts. All right, Saran, who wrote the answers? Okay, this is who wrote the answers. The fussy grandma, which was locked in by Lizzie Who that was The House

The Problematic Tether that was also The House slash Serene The Snake Shiv that was Lizzie Who Which Bronwyn just shredded Classic Bronwyn

Bringing me down. Next up, we had the reverse donkey hold, which was Bronwyn. The petrol pump and dump, that was also the house, which means the correct answer is the Peruvian necktie. Thank you. Bronwyn is on the board. That means one point for the house and one point for Bronwyn in that round. And I'm now on my phone so we can transfer back.

Okay. Well, no, I thought you did a fantastic job. Thank you. I just feel like I lost my gig mid-show. Maybe I should head off. But you'd have to rework the name. Who knew it was Serenjaya Mana doesn't quite. Yeah.

The titular syringia mana um what do you say at the end i forgot uh well that'll happen soon so oh yeah that's good can you write that in i'll remember okay i can but i can't you're a real value adder on this hey is anyone can i tether off anyone's all, so that means we're up to the second last question of the show. Question number six. This one also comes from Adelaide. Is Caitlin Dowden

in the house? Don't leave a pause like that. My heart was broken. Yep. Fantastic. Alright. Caitlin's question is what unique piece of infrastructure was built in Adelaide in 2001 Lizzie might have an advantage you are obviously a big fan of Adelaide wearing your Adelaide merchandise hit or not what unique piece of infrastructure was built in Adelaide in 2001 while you're writing those answers let me tell you more about the Peruvian What unique piece of infrastructure was built in Adelaide in 2001?

While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about the Peruvian necktie. What do you want to tell them about it, Seren? No. Okay. According to Evolve MMA, the Peruvian necktie is one of the many necktie choke variations in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. It was created by a former UFC welterweight fighter named Tony DeSouza. After practising the technique and proving its effectiveness, many grapplers have added the choke to their arsenal,

giving rise to its popularity. Jeez, this is fascinating. You could hear a pin drop in here. That's how fascinated everyone is. The choke is usually applied from the front headlock, if anyone wants to know how to do it at home, after successfully defending a takedown by sprawling. After the sprawl, it is best to apply the choke with head and arm control against the opponent.

It is done by trapping the opponent's head and arm using both hands with the S- or gable grip I think that's up to you while your leg is thrown over behind the opponent's neck this is getting Chuck Tinguely again while the other leg is thrown across the back how do they do that okay my head all right Caitlin live demonstration alright Caitlin Caitlin and Brent actually no that's a call back no it was just two names

I knew in the room and I realised that would be quite an awful thing to make people do alright answers are in

for question number six. There was even more info, but no time, unfortunately. I mean, I could just quickly tell you that most front headlock variations focus on squeezing, rotating and twisting movements, while the Peruvian necktie is all about applying pressure with the limbs. So, yeah, that's the key difference. All right, question number six. The answers are in.

What unique piece of infrastructure was built in Adelaide in 2001? A highway going both ways between McLaren Vale and the city. A sprinkler system for all the trees in the CBD that would gradually turn them blue as part of an art installation for a festival. I think I'm realising you two have some...

Anyway. A one-way freeway that would go either north or south depending on the time of the day. An office building in the city that from an aerial view resembled a cock and balls. Or Australia's longest straight road. So three road-based answers there. And apart from that, we also have blue sprinkler

and cock and blue balls so you got no it's not blue it's just cock and balls I'm seeing patterns where there aren't them I think we might be back to you Bron right I'm gonna go I'm gonna go cock and balls yeah I and balls. Yeah. I feel like people mistakenly make things look like penises. My high school, they redid the logo, modernised it when I was in year 12, and it did just look like a big sperm in the end. If you just turned it on its side.

So I feel like there's a tendency for these things to happen. Yeah. All right, lock that in for Bron. What about you, Lizzie? Who? Sprinkler. Sprinkler. Okay. I thought...

Anyway. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Highway going both ways between McLaren Vale and the city. That was Lizzie. Who? Were you genuinely surprised at their big laugh there well isn't that a thing

that happened yeah it is oh no I'm like I'm like well Lizzie knows I also thought Bronwyn knows

when she rode Australia's longest straight road which I'm like they're all working around the correct answer here. An office building looks like a cock and balls from above. That was Caitlin, aka The House. And Caitlin also wrote the one about blue spraying out of the trees. The correct answer is a one-way freeway that would go either north or south,

depending on the time of day. Which was later had a second lane added to become Lizzie Who's answer. But we did specify 2001. But I mean, Saran might want to give you points, I don't know. You've stopped asking, is it because he said no every time?

Yeah. He's tough this guy. He's tough. Oh no, sorry I missed it. There was one other answer there. The smallest room in history, the alley cat. That one was Serene. All right, so we're up to the final question. Question number seven. This one comes from Daniel from Sydney.

We always finish with a movie synopsis question. And this one is, what is the synopsis of the 1985 film Daryl? But it's... There are dots in between each letter. D.A.R.Y.L. What's the synopsis of the 1985 film Darryl? And you probably want to give like, you know, it's a small paragraph. Probably like three or four sentences maybe.

So this will be your longest one. But luckily I've got a bunch of information on this road. This will be your longest one, but luckily I got a bunch of information on this road. If they were found to prove your necktie interesting, they're going to love hearing about this. Luckily, Caitlin actually gave a bit of a personal story about the road riding. I mean, Caitlin, you could just come up and say it yourself, I suppose, but do you want me to just read it or do you want to tell us the story?

No, you tell it, by the way. Okay. Go on, Caitlin. I remember as a kid. Everyone, isn't this nice? Maybe in post-con you could do like harps or something. We're all going, I remember as a kid. We lived north of the city and our friends would live south of the city.

And whenever we went to see them, it was always like, ooh, which direction is the road going now? Do we get to drive on it or do we have to go the long way? They realised it was a dumb decision and eventually added in extra lanes so traffic could go in both directions regardless of what time of day it was. It's still terrible, but at least it's terrible in two directions. Caitlin also linked me to a website that I'm not familiar with. It's called wikipedia.org.

And I think it's just a bit of a compendium of information on Adelaide roads. And it says, until 2014, the expressway was open approximately 21 hours per day, which I think is pretty good. That's nearly all of them. I think most roads will do 24, but I think this is good that it got pretty close. The northbound direction

occurred on weekday mornings between 2am and 12.30 in the afternoon, and weekend evenings from 2pm till 12.30am. And the southbound direction was open on weekday evenings, 2pm till 12.30am. And the southbound direction was open on weekday evenings, 2pm till 12.30am, and weekend mornings, 2am till 12.30pm.

It's a pretty good system. It's pretty straightforward. It was, of course, closed between 12.30 and 2am and 12.30 and 2pm. Exceptions, of course, there's always exceptions, were Saturday and Monday mornings when the direction remained unchanged. Weekday public holidays operated

under the weekends. Opening times during each closure, all road signs, lights and boom gates changed over and the road was inspected by a tow truck contractor for debris and car breakdowns. So I think it was a pretty smooth operation overall. But for some reason

they got rid of it in 2014, which I think is a shame. That is a shame. Real shame. Is that when they got the other? Yes, that's when they... That's my answer. Is that my answer?

Yeah, yeah. They really should have called it the Lizzie Who Express or something. Probably one day. One day. Probably one day. Garlic Express. Yeah, that's it.

Alright. Final questions, answers are in. What is the synopsis of the 1985 film Daryl? Dr Daryl Hamilton is a world-renowned archaeologist who on a dig site uncovers an ancient Sumerian city and makes a chilling discovery. The city was destroyed by five evil spirits. What's more, the first letters of each of the

spirits' names spelled out his own name. Daryl. Upon making this discovery, the five spirits were released once more, and it's up to Daryl to stop them wreaking havoc upon the world while also uncovering the mystery of why his name is connected to these

sinister spirits. What could it mean? Is this just the one answer mean that's the one out so you didn't write it she's playing the game you know on another level if she did some of that 4d chess oh my god it is for I've been saying 3D chess for so long And I'm like It's weird this saying doesn't make sense Because chess is in 3D It's in 3D

No one has put me up on it Do you know what I said 4D And immediately thought Fuck is it 3D No that makes way more sense Okay Yeah

I don't know what you're talking about Let's just put it to bed now From now on From now on Option two A group of demonic aliens From beneath the surface of Mars Founded a part law firm

Part yoga school Also a part intelligence agency Known as Daryl Demonic alien reconnaissance yoga lawyers. Outraged by the entry of demonic aliens into their industries, a group of law firms, intelligence agencies and yoga schools try to drive Darryl out of business.

Our demonic alien friends must put their skills as lawyers, yoga instructors and secret agents to the test to save their organisation. That's option two. Option three. Three friends meet in Coober Pedy to work at a pub. Their boss is murdered, putting out the kegs and everyone is a suspect. Way more efficiently written that one.

Has a real sniff of Hollywood about it to me. Sure, I said three to four sentences. Option four. Daryl is a normal ten-year-old boy in many ways. However, unbeknownst to his foster parents and friends, Darryl is actually a government-created robot with superhuman reflexes and mental abilities. Even his name has a hidden meaning.

It's actually an acronym for Data Analyzing Robot Youth Life Form. That'd be Darrylf. When the organisation that created him deems the super soldier experiment a failure and schedules Daryl to be disassembled it is up to a few rogue scientists to help him escape. Alright. Your final option.

It's a film about a divorced dad who tried to win his kids back by running as America's first female nominee for president. Can he get his kids back and run the free world in a dress? Only his Labrador Daryl knows his secret. I should say it's 1985, okay? Okay.

So you've got the five evil spirits that spell Daryl. Okay. You know, and the chilling discovery. Then you've got the five evil spirits that spell Daryl. Okay. You know, and the chilling discovery. Then you've got the yoga lawyers. Then you've got the Cooper Petey pub boss getting murdered. Everyone's a suspect. You've got the normal 10-year-old boy in many ways, apart from him being a government plant super soldier.

Then you've got the divorced dad who tries to run for president as America's first female nominee for president. And so the Labrador is called Daryl, which we can only assume stands for dog and really young Labrador. It doesn't say it, but yeah, I think that's implied.

Alright. Either of you feel like jumping in? It doesn't say it, but yeah, I think that's implied. Okay. All right. Either of you feel like jumping in? Anything jumping out? I reckon the two descriptions that don't bother to cover the acronym might be a bit of a giveaway. Okay. Okay. I'll steer clear of them.

I'm going the first one with the spirits in the... Yep. The spirit spelling out his name? Yep. Okay. All right. Locking that in for Bron. Yoga lawyers?

I mean, I hope so because I'm going to go find that movie. Are you just saying that again, or is that the answer you think is correct? I don't know. When's like Encino Man and stuff? Yeah, yeah. When people come... It's in that sort of era, isn't it? Yeah.

Mid-80s is a pretty silly time. Labrador Dress. Labrador Dress? Yep. Let's go again. All rightador dress. Labrador dress. Yep. Let's go again. All right. Locking in Labrador dress. This round is worth triple points, by the way.

Oh. Which I'm not sure if that matters, depending on what Serena's done with the scoring. And I'm not sure even he knows. So here's who wrote the answers. The one about three friends meeting in Coober Pedy. Everyone's a suspect. That was Lizzie Who.

And did you realise when she read that first one and went, is it still the same? That's a long answer, isn't it? Wow, that's a lot of, who had the time? The Yoga Lawyers. That was the question right at Daniel, okay, the house. Then we had the one that Bronwyn went for about Dr. Daryl Hamilton. That was also Daniel, the house.

There's a lot of house in this. Yeah, there's two in each, man. Lizzie went for the one about the divorced dad running for president. That was Bronwyn Cuss. Yay! Oh, no! That means the correct answer is Daryl is a normal 10-year-old boy in many ways. But he's actually a plant from the government, a super soldier.

And so like a children's movie. I don't remember that one. While Seren is figuring out the scores, it got a 53% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, 55 by the audience. A positive review by Jay Boyer reads, there's an intrinsic emotional pull

to this earnest tale of parents in search of a child. While Vincent Canby from the New York Times, he didn't like it as much, saying, if there is a subtext to Daryl, and I'm not entirely sure there is, it's that one should always be kind to a computer

because a computer might be somebody's brother. I mean, maybe they should re-release it. Yeah, I think so. It might have just been before it's time. Yeah, I think so. So, Ryan's also some... It might have just been before it's time. Yeah, I think so. So, Ryan, what are we looking at for scores? Time for the scores. Well, so obviously the triple points does come into play.

Yes. Unfortunately, not to determine the winner. Okay. The house is well out in front on nine points, but this is really, since the beginning of the afternoon, this has been the battle of Lizzie and Bronwyn. Yes. It doesn't really matter what the house is.

And what I'm going to tell you right now is that I'm about to place a call to Susan Proven, head of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, to let her know that Bronwyn has finished on a whopping four points, two points ahead of Lucy. And that we were playing tonight for gala hosting duties. Bronwyn. Everybody, Bronwyn, the new gala host.

Well done, Bron. It feels good. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. Thanks, Sobe. I feel like I should, like, crowd. It feels good. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, so... I feel like I should, like, crowd surf. Do it. Thanks so much for joining us.

Bronwyn, people... That was a no. Don't. I mean, we should really finish with that. It'd be hard to then wrap up after that crowd surf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for people in the room, you're on here tonight, but for people listening at home,

this will come out in a week or so. Whereabouts can they find you? Are you going to be touring the show? Yeah, I'm going to be in Canberra and Gold Coast, but I can't remember the dates. You don't need it. They can look it up. And Melbourne. I'll do the full run in Melbourne. Yeah, awesome. And online

if they want to follow you, what's your best social media? Instagram. You're good at the gram. People say it's the best one. Yeah, it's a really bad account, but please follow. You've got dates, though, there. There's dates there, and there's a link in the bio, would you believe? And everyone knows now, I think we've finally got the word out,

the show is called Pillows. Yeah. Thank God Smooch, smooch, smooch How about you Lizzie? Obviously the gala But what else are you up to? Yeah, the gala guys

Yeah, touring I've got Hobart, Canberra Melbourne Sydney, Brisbane Awesome So come along I'm also doing Sydney, Brisbane Yeah, Brian

Come on, mate. I do do stuff. But you forget about it. I should tell more people about it. Yeah, go see Brian. Hey, can someone get a photo? I forgot to get a photo last week. If someone just gets a photo, whenever.

But I should finish the show. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Night night, my sweetheart. I'll see you in the pool. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye! Hello. Anyone here last week when the mic didn't work that good? Ha ha. Well, you're going to hear me today. Ha ha ha. This isn't the start yet. Everyone's just getting comfortable first.

Pretend this isn't happening. Soren's mic's not working. Why? I got so cocky before. Hello. Okay. Okay. All right. I just spoke too weakly, I got so cocky before. Hello. Okay, okay. Alright. I just spoke too weakly, I think. That's nice. For international listeners, should we briefly explain what the gala even is? It's the pinnacle

of comedy in Australia. Of course they know. It means Lizzie is the best at comedy. No, it's not. In Australia. It means Lizzie has sucked us enough things have changed back in the 90s you have to suck a lot of cock now it's well everyone's got an ass so that makes it yeah yeah that's the modern world we work in the arts

so mckenna's question is Hey, that's the modern world. We work in the arts. So McKenna's question is... OK, let's not forget when she forgot her phone. Can we get a pick-up on that line, Bron, for the edit? Let's not forget when she forgot her phone. OK. And just have that on loop throughout the whole In commodity prices But Bron, they laughed at death

I thought they might have loved domestic violence Please edit this out Connor, please edit all of that out That's just for them Sometimes you roll the dice and yeah you shouldn't what you should do is go home leave the casino go to bed do the Shetland Pony bit it's actually a musical. Can you sing? Start to finish, go.

Kicked in the head by a Shetland pony. Kicked in the head. I think that's all it is, actually. Kicked in the head by a Shetland pony. And then someone comes and says, I've just heard back from the front, your son, he's been kicked in the head by a Shetland pony. To death.

Oh, it's death they like. Yeah. our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks.