Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 79 - Cass Paige, Alex White and Nick Schuller

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Cass Paige (Sanspants, Shut Up A Second, Being Hot Is Hard), Alex White (Community Notice Board) and Nick Schuller (Comedy Zone)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answer. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is from the Sands Pants Radio Network.

It's Cass Page. Howdy, howdy. Howdy, howdy to you too. It's been a while. You've now got a job that is on whenever I ask you to be on this show. I know, it's very rude of my job. Yeah. How dare they?

I've been angling for you to quit it, but I figure that's your call in the end. You can't probably quit a job just to be available for a podcast sometimes. Well, I don't think I'll need to because we've found an hour, haven't we? Yeah, we have. At night time. Which is great. I haven't done one of these at night time for a while. Feels good.

Does it feel cheeky? It feels really cheeky. That's why the two guests that are joining you are two of the cheekiest boys around. That's the main reason. Our second guest this week is down from Sydney. He's the host of the Community Notice Board podcast. It's Alex White. Hello, Matt.

It's great to pot off the dark, isn't it? It's good. It does feel a little bit AM radio. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing out there? Call in. Call in? Yeah. yeah. It's good to pot after dark, isn't it? It's good, yeah. It does feel a little bit AM radio. Yeah. Yeah, what are you doing out there? Call in. Call in? Yeah, no.

Call in. We've got hours to fill on radio. Our third guest is, jeez, talk about cheeky. It doesn't get much cheekier. Canberra comedian, now living in Melbourne, it's Nick Shaw. Hello. Oh, look at this. Right off the bat. What cheek? now living in Melbourne. It's Nick Shore. Hello. Oh, look at this. Right off the bat.

What cheek? Just dripping in cheek. It's his after dark pods. It is funny when you're on, all of a sudden I'm like one of the energetic comedians. Yeah. I really bring the mood down. It feels different, but it feels good. I like being the party boy.

The energy is palpable, guys. It's thick in here. Yeah. Get your knives out and cut through that tension. Okay, yes. I'm like, what are we doing with the knives? Okay. It's just tension cutting.

That's good. Really carve out the tension. Okay, yeah. Have a little slice. Yeah. What do you think of that? Umami. Oh, yeah. Okay. What do you think of that? Umami. Oh, yeah.

Okay. That's not bad. Not bad. So the way the show works, Alex, this is your first time. It is. But I know you're a big fan. You've listened to all the episodes. Every single one.

I don't really need to explain it. I could probably read it out. You could. I could read the words. Yeah, probably. Well, I'll do it, though. Yeah. I'll test you. Okay. i'll give you see how i

go so the way the show works is i ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer i then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct is that right that's pretty good yeah great not bad um i should say you're down from sydney but you're uh from Sydney But you're Later this month You're here for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival I am I'm doing

Comedy Fest here 5th to the 20th April That is If you needed more info Yeah Do you know what I mean If you're coming in September

You're like What's going on Yeah People might be listening to this You know In next year That's true 2024

Sorry Oh my god We slipped up there. They come into an empty room going, I thought this was going to be better. Yeah? I thought he had great energy on the pod and then here he's basically nothing.

Unless he meant last year. I mean, surely he didn't mean 2024. But yeah, no, going down and going to have a lot of fun. My show, I'm doing a solo show. First time I've done it in Melbourne, so I'm very excited about that. That is exciting. Yeah your venue uh it's called the dub club it's on little collins street it's great location right around the corner from town hall um and i'm really pumped

show was great did it sydney fringe last year nominated for best comedy don't didn't win but that doesn't matter okay nominated yeah well no you can still put the ferns on the thing if you're nominated correct funniest comedy you would have won that's correct that's not what i wanted i Didn't win, but that doesn't matter. Okay, nominated. Yeah, well, no. Nice. You can still put the ferns on the thing if you're nominated, correct? If the award was funniest comedy, you would have won. That's correct. But that's not what they wanted. It wasn't the best, but it was the funniest. They wanted that sort of, they probably, the arc wasn't quite there.

That's right. And I got to see it. They love an arc. They do. But, yeah. Sure, yours had more laughs in it. Yeah, but where was the arc? Where was the arc?

Come on, Noah, where's the arc? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They love a bit of Noah action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy judges. Nick of Noah action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comedy judges. Nick, you're also doing a show. I am.

I am. Still Dry White is the show this year. Last year it was just Dry White. It was. I've stopped moving on stage now. Yeah. So this is the sequel. First one was white and...

Yeah. And that one didn't go down so well. Yeah. It didn't go down so well. Yeah. I'm in Trades Hall from the 28th of March, 2024, till the 7th of April. 2024.

Four. I'm not doing a year. Okay. Doing the 54-week run. Got to be specific. I'm doing a show with Saran Jayamana, a previous guest on the show, and the show is called Dry Dryer.

You and me. Oh, you guys. Actually, Matt, we know how to market we do so you know how hot dry comedy is it's like a wog comedy you know what i mean we started doing that and people were saying like well that one 16th swiss italian god isn't quite giving you um the rights to that word I have a bone to pick with Matt on this because I was going to call my show this year Dry Ginger Mail and I submitted it to the Comedy Fest and they emailed

me and said that four years ago Matt Stewart had done a show with the same name I couldn't remember when that was so I just thought you could I mean surely that's long enough apparently not a hit show yeah no that's long enough. Apparently not. For the name to be refreshed. Apparently it's a hit show.

Yeah, normally that's true. It's a big hit. Did they say you weren't allowed to use it, or were they just like, you might not want to? No, it was more like, you might not want to do this again. It might be a bit confusing, or it's already been, it's got a bad name already. It's associated with bad comedy.

It didn't work well for Matt, actually. Yeah, I might want to try something else I mean it could have been good You could have just Before the run even started Just started pulling quotes From Matt's show Did it get well reviewed Because I could have just

Oh yeah I'm sure I'm sure there were Some good reviews Surely Reviews love me They always get it What was your show called

You didn't say the name of it Oh my show's called Don't We Look Stupid Oh yeah Yeah So you haven't had that one matt uh no no okay uh dry we look stupid don't we look dry yeah yeah um all right so let's get into the freaking show cast you haven't you have a show any live pods or anything coming up i I don't, but you're reaching across the table. No live pods, but you can get the pre-recorded ones wherever you get the good pods. We're doing Shut Up a Second and Being Hot is Hot is Back for its latest season, so get them in your holes.

What a time to be alive. Big a hole, put it in. Oh, no, any hole. Honestly, I'll take any. The sounds can vibrate through the ears classically, but probably through any orifice. So the first question comes from listener Marissa Stroud from Stroud in Ontario, Canada.

This is fake. Listener Marissa from Stroud in Stroud? I asked Marissa Stroud from Stroud about that. I said, are you from the family that it's named after? She said it was pure coincidence, and she didn't realize until after she'd bought her place that it was even named Stroud, because Stroud's like the suburb or something.

She didn't realize that until afterwards. Bizarre. Is she a proud Stroud? I think she's very. Surely. Listener Marissa is a proud Stroud? I think you'd have to be, because you'd have to be dealing with this all the time. Imagine going around Stroud as a Stroud? I think you'd have to be. Because you'd have to be dealing with this all the time.

Imagine going around Stroud as a Stroud. I mean, yeah, should be mayor. Anyway, Marissa's question is, and it's not it. She's from Ontario. Ontario. She's from a Tarrio. She's from one of the Tarrio. Actually, no, specifically she said here Ontario.

Oh, okay, that's the Tario, yeah. Oh, my God. I've got to get into the nighttime vibes here. I feel like this is where I'm normally going to bed. Yeah, past the bedtime. You've got bedtime sillies. Yeah, everyone's got to realize this is late. We're doing this at 3 a.m.

The question is, what the saskatchewan term bunny hugs mean what does the saskatchewan term bunny hugs mean so there's just a local i think saskatchewan is like a state in or a province in canada it's just next to antario i think yeah it's a couple down from oh, it's a couple down from Antario. Couldn't be more specific than that. But they've got a term there, bunny hugs. What does it mean? While you're writing

your answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guess the answer. Hey, by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I'll put in two of my own fake answers for each question. I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair.

But the probability, according to some mathematician listener, actually favors me, the house. And the house is on a bit of a winning streak. Although, you know, as in I've won a couple in the last month. But yeah, because of that, we now give triple points to the guests in the final round to really even things up. Our questions, by the way, come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question,

sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod, which is linked in the show notes. The answers are in. Question is, what does the Saskatchewan term bunny hugs mean? A sleazy move by snow bunnies used to pick up tourists at local ski towns. When you have way too many people crammed in the back seat of a car, all smooshed together.

Hooded sweatshirts, usually with a pouch pocket. When you hug someone and jump in the air at the same time. Little pellets of marijuana sold in chemists they look like rabbit droppings but make you feel warm and fuzzy or the scratches and bruises around one one's ankles that come from walking through a forest so you got the sleazy sleazy snow bunnies move you got the being crammed in the car uh hoodies hooded sweatshirts uh hugging someone jumping in the air at the same time little marijuana pellets or scratches and bruises around your ankles these are all very believable very believable is that normal i feel

like there's a there's normally a couple of at all uh it switches around sometimes when they're none of them are believable but you you're like, one of them is. One of them has to be. Yeah. But this one, you know, I mean, it's a silly term. That's true. Cass, do you want to have first crack here? Oh, goodness.

So we had cheeky sleazies, hoodie, marijuana. Crammed in the car. Or scratches and bruises. I'm going to go crammed in the car, please. Crammed in the car. Get me in the car. All right. Well, I feel like that's something I've experienced.

So that, and my experience is correct in the world. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you'd think of it as bunny hugs? Yeah. Well, I don't, but I don't live next to Ontario. So I wouldn't know. But I think that's nice.

I think I'd prefer it more if it were a bunny hug. Yeah, we'd call it, what do we call it? Sardines or something. That's less. Yeah. It's a stinky phrase. What about you, Alex? Bonnie, I'm putting my mind into Kate Stroudoud's world that was a kate uh marissa

i'd imagine she's probably related to a kate okay cool her cousin kate um i'm sure she knows it if marissa does yeah yeah and i'm thinking she's listening in she's mayor of the town you know what i mean she's probably not smoking a lot of marijuana right no and she didn't forget that she lives in a town named after herself, so she might be. She bought a house without checking the suburb's name. That's a wild story. Yeah.

That is quite strange. I don't know how she even searched the house to find it. She's just searching the street, I guess. She's furious right now at my poor retelling of her story. You missed a very important detail there Yeah she's getting drunk It's like someone ordering off Amazon When they're drunk

Guys should I buy it? I think it's cute should I buy it? It's a Stroud that's my name I'm buying it So I think that it's a cold town What do you do when you're cold? You're hugging people I think it's a jumping up and down hug thing because you do that.

You see someone in the street and you're really getting into a hug and it sounds a bit appropriate for the term. That's my shot. Love it. I love the workings out there. Okay. Do you think if you were colder, you'd be a more intimate person? Oh, 100%.

You don't think so? There's a little something extra in it for you. Does it define intimacy? Like you mean physically close? Yeah. Well, I don't think that's, you know, when people are starving in the hills and it's cold and you snuggle up to someone that you don't even know. Is that intimacy or is that just physical?

Oh. That's necessity. Yeah. But I think that you're being intimate out of necessity. As a side effect. Yeah. But I don't think I walk away going, oh, I. As a side effect. Yeah. But I don't think I'd walk away going, I'm now a more intimate guy because of that.

Really? You know, do you think so? I think I'd walk away a more intimate person. Okay. If I had to hold someone for warmth. Yeah, I think I would have an intimate moment with them, but I don't think I would go, now I'm confident to hug people.

No matter what the temperature is, I'm hugging, you know. Oh, true. But if you lived in the cold town forever. That's probably, yes, I agree. If I'm constantly out there hugging. But I think, yeah. Is it exciting to know that you haven't hit your ceiling on intimacy yet in your life?

I'm now thinking how many awkward hugs I've done when it hasn't been cold. And I'm like, that wasn't cold enough for a hug. Yeah. Sydney. Famously sunny place. I know. I shouldn't be hugging anyone. Thank you. I need a bit of Tassie or something cold enough for a hug. Yeah. Sydney. Famously sunny place. I know. I shouldn't be hugging anyone.

I need a new batazzi or something. That's a town for waves. Yeah. It's a wave that's an elbow bump and all that sort of stuff. That's that thing where older people put their hands in the air and like clad their hands like a big ta-ta. I love that one. Yeah.

Oh, bye. They like want to physically put distance between chicken. Older people and dance. Five-year-olds do that, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'm thinking of kids who want up. I'm always getting those demographics

mixed up. Don't you ever have old people who want to get up? They've slipped over on a banana peel and they're like, up, up, up. Alright, Nana. Here we go. Someone's getting big. Occasionally I wish we filmed this show.

That was one of those times. What do you reckon, Nick? I'm going to go for the marijuana pellets. I just, the concept of a marijuana pellet is quite appealing as well. Yeah. Wasn't the, and you said a mayor wouldn't do it, but isn't a Canadian mayor the one who was like the ice addict? Oh, yeah. Rob Ford.

Yeah, Rob Ford. I mean, you know him. You got him first and second name basis. Yeah, well, I named his brother first, Doug Ford, so I corrected. So do I know him well or not? But yeah, great story. And that was Canada, right? Yeah, that was Ontario.

Yeah, it was. All right, let's go through and write the answers. Scratches and bruises around your ankles. That was Cass. Sleazy move by snow bunnies. That was Alex. Then we had smushing people into a car. That was Marissa, aka The House.

The House also wrote little pellets of marijuana. See, that's the yin and the yang of The House. You got the wholesome Marissa answer about being smushed in, and then that devilish idea of little marijuana pellets uh alex you went for when you hug someone and jump in the air at the same time that was nick the correct answer is hooded sweatshirts usually with a doesn't it doesn't quite provide the picture that you think it would. Bunny hugs. But hold on.

The plural bunny hugs, they are more than if you have two of them. Is that? No. I wasn't expecting any collabs. Sorry, I'm very pretentious. Jeans are plural. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but they're not jeans.

No, these are jumper. No, you're right. It's plural. So it's, yep. Hooded sweatshirts. That's what the answer said yep hooded sweatshirts that's what the answer said hooded sweatshirts hooded nice try no no no no pretty early in the day to get one past the house okay i still don't understand bunny hugs are hooded sweatshirts bunny hugs are hooded so is it just a term what are bunny hugs hugs yeah that's why I read it wrong in my brain I'm on board I get it

I mean you're probably right no I'm certainly wrong I'm going to just complain to this woman about a local term but I'm like actually I think I'd tweak the question and I probably ruined it when I did that anyway that's

one point to Nick and he's doing that he's doing the he wants I want to he wants I want to scoreboard up one more but two points to the house no points Alex no points to Cass so you know lift lift. Lift is an option. Ups. Yeah.

Get ups. Come on. Question number two comes from Will Vickery from Geelong. And the question is, which of these is a real sea creature? So you've just got to come up with a name of just a species of sea creature. Any sort of creature that lives in the sea. Huh. Species of, you know, you can be specific. You'd say it's like the dolphin alligator.

That's not a good one. That's why I threw it out there as an option. But, you know, it could be anything. Backspace, backspace, backspace. Sorry, Cass, just treading on your toes there. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on bunny hugs. Alaysia Grabinski for CBC News writes, a cosy hooded sweatshirt with a front pouch

is known in most of Canada as a hoodie. In Saskatchewan, it's a bunny hug. Christina Burke says she's heard the phrase is connected to a time when Saskatchewan supposedly... Is that the name of the... Yeah, Saskatchewan. Okay. I've been saying it a lot

and only that time did my brain go, hang on a minute, am I saying... Is that right? The phrase is connected to a time when Saskatchewan supposedly was overpopulated with bunnies. Lots of people have hypotheses, said Andrea Sterzek, professor of language and literacy at the University of Regina. One possibility, according to Sterzek, is the shape of a clothing clothing item because the hood looks like rabbit ears hugging a person's head. Another theory Sturzak has heard is that it comes from the 16th century when some clothing was lined with rabbit fur. I don't know how big hoodies were back then, but I guess they probably had hoods.

Some researchers have linked it to a dance called the bunny hug. In the dance, people form a conga line and dancers squeeze the waist of a person in front of them. That's where the pouch of a bunny hug is located, which sounds a bit like something maybe a snow bunny might use that when picking up tourists. So I think, Alex, you're in there. Do I get half a point?

I think, well, I personally, if the other two, I think there's half a point worth there, surely. But no one really knows. This I found interesting. The article says, what we do know is that changes to language are moved along by young people, especially girls, usually between the ages of 13 and 17.

So likely this term, wherever it originated, was moved along throughout the province by young girls. Marissa, the question writer, aka Kateate aka melissa uh wrote whatever the origins by the 1980s it seemed to be a pretty well established term amongst young people to refer specifically to hooded sweatshirts and is now a point of provincial pride as a lifelong resident of ontario which is one of the tarios uh which is two provinces away from saskatchewan i'd never hold on didn't nick say it was the one next door yeah that's ontario then

antario and then saskatchewan yeah okay yeah oh yeah you didn't say which tario was in between no uh no no we won't check that and then you don't lose a point um yeah so she's she grew up two provinces across and had never heard of the term until she was at university where a roommate from regina uh who early in their katie regina by any chance yes slightly more unfortunate name as well um they they uh casually asked her if she thought she should bring a bunny hug with her on an evening errand in case the weather turned cool. And she was like, I don't understand what that means. But she was delighted with this new term,

but has not been able to get it to catch on in Ontario. Not specific which one. I'd try it in Ontario because that's where you're from. That's probably where you got the best chance of getting it going. Start at home. Yeah. Start it in Stroud. Bring it to Stroud.

Stroud. If anyone could bring it to Stroud. The mayor of Stroud. The mayor of Stroud. Who's always apparently dropping these little marijuana pills. From what I've heard. And like sleazing onto tourists but if I remember correctly that was all Marissa Stroud all right the answers are in for question number two which of these

are real sea creature sea sprinkle spiny mongrel fish the bungle headed hawkfish flamboyant cuttlefish corduroy carl or the bootross bootross galley sea snake can we get this again sea sprinkle spiny mongrel fish the bungle headed hawkfish flamboyant cuttlefish corduroy carl or the bootross bootross galley sea snake maybe alex it could be you this time is this one of those ones where none of them seem right? I mean, yes, but also sea snakes are just animals and creatures. They could have whatever name. They can have anything, right?

Well, that's why they're crazy down there. It's a wild, wild world. This podcast, probably more than any other, talks about sea creature names as well. And we're glad for it because it seems like an unlimited list of weird names. Probably more than any other talks about sea creature names as well. Yeah. And we're glad for it because it seems like an unlimited list of weird names. But even if you think, you know what, we've done every silly name, they find another one tomorrow.

Exactly. There's always more to find. And they never like, it's always just, all right, what do you reckon it looks like? Yeah. That looks like a corduroy carl. That looks like old quarter carlo. Have a look at these cords. Yeah. That looks like old quarter car. Have a look at these cords.

Yeah. And then there's no vetting process. It's just whoever finds it. I mean, I assume. I'm assuming everything right now. It does sound like you're speaking from experience. It does. Did you, you know, when you were a kid and you all say what you want to be when you grow up,

no one normal wanted to be a marine biologist. I think it kind of makes sense, right? Like, there's always a weird kid. Like, I mean that in a good way. Like, freaks make great marine biologists. Yeah, yeah. That is the best way to put it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Freaks. You're not normal. You're a freak. You're the best one. I mean that with genuinely so much love. It's how we get things like, I hope, sea sprinkle. Oh, yeah. You want to, you're locking it in or you're just. how we get things like, I hope, sea sprinkle. Oh, yeah? You're locking it in or you're just...

Other people can go first. I went first last time. All right, Alex, what do you think? Oh, can you please, Matt, one more time? Sea sprinkle, spiny mongrel fish, the bungle-headed hawkfish, flamboyant cuttlefish, corduroy carl, or the Boutros Boutros galley sea snake. I'm going to go the Spiny Mongrel Fish. Is that the second one? That was the second one.

Yep. Let's do that. It just sounds like something caught off the coast of Queensland or something. Look at this Spiny Mongrel. Yeah. Al Stewart's named it. Look at this Spiny Mongrel. Hang on.

That's not a bad name that is Australians are so funny funny accents what do you reckon Nick um who Boutros Boutros Ghali was a is a polit was a polit who is that um anyone know let me I can check for you it It rings a bell. It does ring a bell. It rings a bell twice. Egyptian politician. Egyptian politician. And diplomat.

Serves as the sixth secretary general of the UN from 92 to 96. Right. It's a great name. Yeah. Not much in that biography would suggest someone would name a sea snake after bootross bootross carly yeah it's never the ones you think yeah it could have it could have either been you know it was discovered in his reign and it was like a you know an ode to him or it could have been on on the other hand it could have been like one of his enemies he's a real snake

he made enemies with the marine biologist community. Those freaks. He called them freaks. And they never forgive. And they never forget. Talk to you like that. Can't wait to hear about the caspage ugly. Bottom feeding piece of shit fish.

Yeah, I don't think it would be the sea. I'm going to go for the sea sprinkle. Sea sprinkle for Nick. Okay. What do you think, Cass? Maybe I'll change because we are all enemies on this field today. None of us should get out alive. I see you all as my own personal Boutros Boutros Gali.

So we had sea sprinkle, Boutros Boutros Gali. So we had Sea Sprinkle, Boutros Boutros Gali. Bungle-headed Hawkfish, Flamboyant Cuttlefish, Corduroy Carl, and yeah, the Sea Sprinkle, Spiny Mungrel, Boutros Boutros. I'll go Corduroy Carl. Corduroy Carl. That's the fish I want most to exist out of the remaining ones. Maybe if I will it, it'll come true.

Well, this is... Who wrote the answers? Boutros Boutros Gali Sea Snake. Alex, you said you kind of remember the name. Because you did write that one. It does ring a bell. I saw it really recently. I thought you played that beautifully. It does ring a bell. Just type it in on my phone. I saw it really recently. I thought you played that beautifully.

Yeah, don't ring a bell. Bungle headed Hawkfish. That was Cass. I'm going to see Bungle this week, which would have been weeks ago when this comes out.

So are you going to see him? Is that why it's in your head? Oh, yeah, I am. Yeah. I didn't know they were playing. But yeah, I'll be there. Okay.

I'm going for a different man, but yeah, we'll be there. Oh, I am. Yeah. I didn't know they were playing. But yeah, I'll be there. Okay. I'm going for a different man, but yeah, we'll be there. Oh, Melvin? Yeah. Oh, sick. Sea Sprinkle, which Nick went for, that was Will, aka The House. And Cass went away from Sea Sprinkle towards Corduroy Carl, which was also The House. No. I know I'm trying to put one in there that no one will guess,

but I find in time they're nearly always guessing those ones. Like, who could have come up with something so stupid? Why would there be a fish called that? There wouldn't be. But thank you so much for having a crack anyway. Alex, you went for spiny mongrel fish. That was Nick. Damn it, Nick.

You can hear my number. This is unbelievable. That's two from two. Oh, good stuff. Oh, he's in my head. Rent free in your skull. I could probably look and read you type it into it. And I'm still going, oh, that actually looks pretty good.

Boutreau's got it. And that means the correct answer is flamboyant cuttlefish. Pretty good. Notoriously dull, the cuttlefish. They're all so flamboyant cuttlefish. Pretty good. Notoriously dull, the cuttlefish. They're all so flamboyant, though. What is a cuttlefish? Like a squid, but they can change colours. They change colours.

They move by shimmying. Imagine how the other cuttlefish go like, oh, okay. Sorry, flamboyant comes through. Yeah, no, they are pretty flamboyant, but are they all like this? That's pretty cool. Oh, my goodness. Okay, that's more colors than I've ever seen on any fish in my life. What a beautiful fish.

That's a stunning fish. That's a stunning fish. Oh, God. Cass, you sound quite excited by that fish. As do I. What can I say? I was a weird kid. weird kid not weird enough to get into marine biology all right question three uh comes from akila talamasca from san francisco and the question is in japanese mythology what is a k? And what is the easiest way to defeat it? So it's a monster in Japanese mythology.

What is a kappa? And what is the easiest way to defeat it? You know, I said, just in case any of you know this, I'm like, I don't know your interests. Maybe you're into Japanese monsters. I wouldn't admit if I knew that one. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the flamboyant cuttlefish.

According to Will, they can change color, pattern, and texture of their skin to camouflage, communicate, or warn off predators. When threatened, they stay put, hypnotically fishing vibrant colors across their skin and waving their tentacles. Their toxin is also deadly enough to sink an adult human. To sink them?

Now I've got to Google flamboyant cuttlefish in action. Don't want to get Cass too excited, but so maybe I won't. Does it look like a party in there? I've seen some cuttlefish in the flesh. It does look like they're having a rave all the time. Really? You've seen one up... Where? Aquarium. Oh, Aquarium. Yeah, of course. That makes sense. Yeah.

Famously the place you go. Because you work there as a marine biologist. Yeah, yeah. Biologist, don't you? Absolutely. I'm not to the part where I can name the fish yet, but... They are fantastic. Absolute party city. Isn't that wild? Why can't we do that we haven't evolved that far yet yeah that's like looking into the future yeah those stripes down the side i love

how he walks mesmerized flamboyant answer in for question number three in japanese mythology what kind of monster is a kappa and what is the easiest way to defeat them we've never had a question where you've had to come up with a way to defeat a monster before i can't wait to find what you've written i should have done defeat the sea creature as well that would have been good yeah just everyone is step on it uh here are your options. A shape-shifting demon that will die if you trick it into looking into the eyes of the figure it is resembling at the time. A large rodent with venomous fangs and a tail

as sharp as a sword. It can be defeated by tying it to a bridge in the hot sun. A monster with a lucky eight ball for a head. They can be defeated if you ask them a paradoxical question. The baby slash child form of Godzilla, defeated by dropping it deep into the ocean by helicopter. A 60 foot tall seagull, and the easiest way to defeat them is to give them a panadol.

I guess probably a big panadol or monsters with an indent on the top of their head filled with water if the water is spilled they are said to be paralyzed but they are very polite and if you bow to them they will bow back spilling their water that's a rookie move That's a rookie move, I think. Defeat with a bow.

Oh, not again. We'll learn this time. Maybe you'll go, Nick. Shapeshifting demon, large rodent, lucky eight-ball-headed monster, baby Godzilla, big seagull, or waterhead. Waterhead monster. That one is very confused. So it's a polite monster

And if you bow to it It bows back And then is paralyzed Yeah What is the point of that? What purpose does it serve? Teach kids to be polite? I guess yeah

Wouldn't it teach kids not to be polite? Yeah that's true Because it would say Don't bow if someone bows at you True It's your floor of your design. What? But you bow to the monster, bow to everyone.

Are you saying bow to monsters, it may defeat them? Even monsters. It may, so you have a problem at work and you're like, well, I should bow. You should bow to that guy. It may kill him. Yeah. Right? That's the lesson.

That's why you be polite. Gotcha. Yeah, I think that's nonsense. Which Japanese mythology isn't. No, no. Everyone knows that all creatures in Japanese mythology are sensical. Notoriously logical. I did like the idea of a monster with a magic eight ball for a head.

I did like the idea of a monster with a magic eight ball for a head. Do you think it has to shake its head up to headbang to be able to answer questions? The rat with a tail. Rat with a sword tail. Rat with a sword tail. And you defeat it by tying it to a bridge. Yeah, in the hot sun. Specifically in the hot sun. So not on a cold day tied to a bridge, Yeah, in the hot sun. Specifically in the hot sun,

so not on a cold day tied to a bridge, the rat will be fine. The rat will thrive, yeah. I think a lot of people and monsters would die if they were tied to a bridge. I don't like the Godzilla one. I think also most monsters would die if you drop them deep into the ocean. Yeah, except for the monsters with water in their head.

That's true. They will thrive. The Panadol one, I think most people wouldn't be too affected by that. You said it was Big Panadol though, yeah? Well, it doesn't say Big Panadol. I was editorializing it. Man's added Big Panadol. I know Panadol does play a big part in Japanese mythology.

And I think it normally is big, though. So it doesn't need to be said. Is that true about seagulls? If you give them Panadol, they explode? Is that it? Well, that's not something I'm going to say on here in case... Because actually 50% of my audience are young, devious boys. Oh, I thought you were going to say 50% of my audience are seagulls.

Well, the other half are seagulls. So I really don't want to create trouble between the two halves. Half will be dead, half will be in jail. Yeah, exactly. Seagull aside, is that what they call it? Yeah. Very elegant term. There's no real term for it, I'd say.

Yet. What do we have left? I think you've ruled them all out i've ruled them out yeah so you're right there's no japan's not a real country technically you're correct oh shape-shifting demon is oh yeah i do like the sound of that that sounds um i was gonna say the word plausible but none of them sound plausible but i will go with the shape-shifting demon or shape-shifting not shape sifting sorry sorry getting all the barbecue shape yeah he doesn't want pizza he's shifting for the

uh i'll go for that one go that one all right barbecue shape monster cast what do you think? I think that does sound like a plausible monster You're right But it can wear enemies I think I'll go with the head water man Head water man I think that's a good lesson to teach a kid Yeah

I think something that was drilled into me as a kid Was that you know Being polite costs nothing But it could mean a lot to someone else And that seems like a similar lesson at least I like that. It costs me nothing, but it could kill your energy. It could cost you everything.

All right. That leaves you, Alex. I've got a new objective now. It's not to win. It's to not pick Nick's answer. That's all that matters. Can you see Nick's in the options? Well, I can see Nick's in the one that he postulated about

as he was thinking he wouldn't guess his own. But he may be 4D chessing me. Yeah. And he absolutely is in my head so deep that he thought this is the strategy to get Alex on the hook is to think about it for a while, my own one. But he also thought about every single one of them. Really thorough.

So I'm back to square one. What is the real one? It feels like the one that is going to be Nick's is the one you think is going to be the real one. But I also would have realized that at this stage of the game. Oh, yes. Pull the double block. I know.

I know. Always one step ahead. I think the Razor mouse tail guy. Rat with a tail rat. Rat with a tail rat. Yeah. Look at that end. Who's the right of the answers?

I'll put you out of your misery early here, Alex. The Panadol seagull, that was Nick. So you did it. All right. That's all I needed from this. You did not pick Nick three times in a row. Alex, yours was the dropping the baby Godzilla into the ocean. Then we had the lucky eight ball for a head.

That was the house. The house also did the shape sifting demon, which Nick went for. I think Nick's gone house three times. Maybe I'm in your head. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We can all be in each other's heads, man.

You would be in Melissa Stroud or in my head. And that means that Cass is correct. It's the one with the indent on the top of their head. Oh, my Lord. And, yeah, it is meant to teach a lesson and that is for kids to be safe around water but there's more to it i guess i hope there's more to it i think they're they're monsters they're sort of like water monsters and that if they'll also drown kids in water if they put their head water on the kids no if they they'll take the kids into

into the river or whatever and just put them in the head water on the kids? No, they'll take the kids into the river or whatever Just put them in the head water? Yeah Are they huge? They're really strong in the water, I think But outside of the water, they're the size of a 10-year-old kid So while you're writing your next answers, I'll read about this But just very quickly so you hear it

In case you ever come across a kappa You've got Bow to them, that's probably the easiest But just very quickly so you hear it, in case you ever come across a kappa, you've got, bow to them, that's probably the easiest. They like cucumbers, offer them a cucumber. Or,

beat them up because they're the size of a kid. That's what I found out. I'll listen to the other guy. I'll talk those through in a bit more detail. A little cucumber in the water on the head, right? Do you know what I mean? Just a bit of bougie water. Oh, yeah.

A bit of Hendrix in there. It's the G and T on there. Question number four comes from Colin Campbell from Tucson, Arizona. In what odd way did 18th century scientist James Price die? In what odd way did 18th century scientist James Price die? While you're writing those answers, here's a little bit more info about these little kappas. According to Ihart Hula,

standing about four feet tall and looking like a cross between a turtle, a monkey and a hideous child, the Japanese kappa is a cunning amphibian trickster. According to Japan Talk, the best way to defeat them are, one, feed the kappa is a cunning amphibian trickster according to japan talk the best way to defeat them are one feed the kappa kappa are easily appeased with cucumbers the kappa's favorite food read another article suggesting that maybe because of the high water content in cucumbers but i think they were overthinking it uh second one is bowing to them kappa are exceedingly polite and find it difficult to resist returning a bow.

This is a problem for the Kappa because they have a cavity filled with water on top of their head. This cavity dries out, they become paralyzed. When a Kappa bows, their water usually spills and they become defenseless. In fact, they can't move at all until someone fills their head back up with water and if you refill a kappa's head, that kappa is forever indebted to you. Finally, fight the kappa. Kappa are about the size of children. They have no particular superpowers except that they're great swimmers.

It is possible to fight a kappa. In water, it's more difficult because the kappa will try to drown you, but on land, you could probably just kick the kappa. Good advice if anyone... Just in case anyone comes across one day to day. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy,

which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, we're back. And a quick score update. Alex yet to score. Nick's on two points. Cass is on two points.

But out front, on five points, it's the house. I can't believe all of the three of us are losing, guys. Losing to the house. Can you say it was

statistically more likely than the house? Yeah, Matt's the magician to that. But that's why the final round,

you three get triple points but the house doesn't. So, you can really fly home late um but ideally you'll start picking up points from now you were doing that for a while i was i wasn't yeah alec got out alex got out of your head the answers are in so here's question four in what odd way did 18th century scientist james price. He claimed he could turn mercury into gold and when asked to repeat the process,

he drank cyanide. After breeding hybrids of pigeons and turkeys in an effort to create a more affordable meat, he ate so much of the new meat that he died of a bacterial infection carried by the pigeons. He entered a singing competition but got cold feet. In his haste to flee the venue, he fell out a bacterial infection carried by the pigeons he entered a singing competition but got cold feet in his haste to flee the venue he fell out a window he electrocuted himself while working

on a new invention the electric chair he ate a loaf of moldy bread because he was convinced the mold would act as an antibacterial agent. Then, when he went onto the street to throw up, he was hit by a horse and cart. Or he bet a fellow scientist that he could prove humans don't need sleep. He died on the third day of the experiment, deliriously

tired and mistaking a poisonous powder for ground coffee. So you got... Nescafe 43. Also known as a poisonous powder, by the way. So after claiming he could turn mercury into gold, he drank cyanide. He ended up dying of his own pigeon, mate.

He died falling out a window after playing a singing competition. He electrocuted himself working on his new invention, the electric chair. Ate a loaf of moldy bread. Ended up spewing it up but getting hit by a horse and cart. Or he drank poison thinking it was coffee because he was tired. We've all been there. Every single one of them, we've been there.

What do you reckon Kath? oh I I think there's something very beautiful about the invention of the electric chair just really taking its first victim yeah

I think that's great I think cosmically that's really good so I'm very pro the electric chair taking its first victim of its own dad there's a

Dave Warnocky a regular guest on the show is uh i think it's his one of his two favorite wikipedia pages is uh inventors killed by their own inventions second most um favorite is uh sexually active popes um he's an interesting man um the is it the the classic like um not rumor but like tale is that the guy invented the segway yes drove off a cliff yeah that's right yeah is that true that is true yeah i believe that to be true i guess it wouldn't be interesting if he just fell off and sprained his ankle i thought he died yeah no yeah yeah but i guess like is that like a is that real or is it yeah it's like an urban legend an urban legend thing oh he he didn't invent it he owned it he bought that's just a normal guy then that's cheating

uncommon to buy this thing no the company one guy who bought a segway died he bought in 20 uh 2009 i call it 2009 sometimes in 2009 he bought uh segway incorporated he died in 2010 from injuries sustained falling from a

cliff while riding his own segway get away from the edge i think so like someone like david say oh actually i gotta pull you up there i'm into inventors killed by their own adventures not owners killed by their own dave's in the talk page on wikipedia explaining why he took it out uh all right so we got cass's do we have yours yet alex um there was two that died of

poisoning themselves, right? Wasn't there a coffee one? Yes, one did on purpose. Oh, actually, I'm reading it like he did on purpose. He claimed he could turn mercury into gold and when asked to repeat the process, he drank cyanide. The way I read that is he went, oh, shit, I can't. That was step one of the process.

Yeah, the other one he accidentally did because he was so tired. That was step one of the process. Yeah, the other one he accidentally did because he was so tired. I think the mercury into gold to cyanide. That's my guess. All right. Locking that in for Alex. What do you think, Nick? I don't think it's the coffee one.

Was it 19th century? 18th century. 18th 18th yeah i don't i feel like the ground coffee is not a common kitchen household item in yeah 18th century scientists houses um what else we got we got the bread got the pigeon meat the pigeon multi-bread singing competition electric chair yeah i'm i'm gonna go singing competition i think that's The Mouldy Bread Singing Competition Electric Chair. Yeah. I'm going to go Singing Competition. I think that's... They had those in the 18th century.

Yeah, definitely. And they had windows. They had windows. Yeah. The Cowardice. That was around. Yeah. Stage fright.

Yeah. All right. Locking that in. Yeah. Here's who wrote the answers. Accidentally drinking poison thinking it was ground coffee. That was the house. Eating moldy bread and then getting run over by a horse and cart.

That was Nick. A little bit of a nice twist there. That was a one-paragraph, like a two-sentence novel. It was beautiful. Yeah, thanks. The rollercoaster went on. I said, oh, the mold isn isn't gonna React badly to this man Oh thank god

He spewed it Oh no The horse The horse Breeding pigeons And dying from eating pigeons That was Cass I like that one

Electrocute himself Working on his new invention The electric chair Cass went for that That was Alex Alex is on the board. I loved it. Yes.

Thank you. Thank you for the treat of that answer. Nick went for singing competition, falling out the window. That was the house. I am in your head. Meaning, Alex, you got another point because you were correct. Claimed he could turn mercury into gold and when asked to repeat the process, he drank cyanide. Are you reading that the same way I am?

Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Because there's no... Presumably the process of turning mercury to gold didn't involve drinking anything. Yeah, that's true. So he's like, oh, I can't do it. So that means two points for Alex that round. There we go.

One point for the house. Pigeon turkey meat does, does sound appealing somehow. Yeah, it sounds cost effective. We should also find out when people had dried coffee. What era? Oh, yeah. That was very, very well deduced, Nick. But I think if they had it in 17th century,

you're wrong. You're all wrong. That wasn't correct. I like that you're both trying to get your own points, but you're also trying to take Nick's away from him. Hey, you know what I mean? It's like Mario Kart. You shoot the guy at first.

You know what I mean? Like a blue shell. Oh, hey, speaking of Dave Warnke, he actually wrote this next question. Dave Warnke from Duguan asks, what is the nickname of american singer and entertainer mel torme what is the nickname of american singer and entertainer mel torme so according to uh this is about uh the scientists this is from a website of

fan called wikipedia.org uh it says in january 1783 price returned to his lab in Guildford, ostensibly to start production of the miraculous powders. In fact, he said about the distillation of laurel water, which contained hydrogen cyanide, commonly known as prussic acid, maybe. He wrote his will at the same time, but it was another six months before he returned to London to invite members of the Royal Society to witness the experiment on the 3rd of August. Despite the claimed successes of his initial demonstrations and the furor they caused, only three members turned up in Guildford on the appointed day. Although clearly disappointed by the poor turnout, Price welcomed the three men and then, stepping to one side, committed suicide by drinking the flask of Laurel water he had prepared. stepping to one side, committed suicide by drinking the flask of lower water he had prepared. The three men immediately noticed a change in his appearance, but before they could do anything, Price had died of cyanide poisoning.

What have I missed here? So he just made a show of it. Was he just annoyed that no one came to his thing and so he drank cyanide? Yeah. It's like, you guys didn't come to my party. That's wild. i'll show you yeah you made a big show of it but oh that's so upsetting it wasn't a big show yeah i mean three that's an audience right yeah we've done french shows before yeah um yeah we've done in front of crowds of three.

Yeah. What's the rule? If the audience is more than the people on stage, show's going on. Yep. All right. Question number five. What is the nickname of American singer and entertainer Mel Torme? The Velvet Fog.

Ooh. The Tormedo. Liquid Chocolate. Tuna Melt. The Bottomless Pit. The Sexually Active Pope. Liquid chocolate, tuna melt, the bottomless pit, the sexually active pope. You say Dave wrote this? Dave did write it down.

Velvet fog, tomato, liquid chocolate, tuna melt, bottomless pit, sexually active pope. What's the nickname of American singer and entertainer Mel Torme? I like that. I like these great options. If he was still with us, I really think he could probably pick a second and third option. Apparently, he didn't like the name. Mel? It's a guy.

I didn't know. It is a man. Does that change your thinking here? Well, I haven't answered yet. The Pope is always a man too. That's true. That does help for that one, yeah. And nicknames do have to be gender accurate. Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's your crack here, Al. All right, let's have a crack. Torme. I love the name, by the way, Mel Torme. Mel Torme. Great name. Such a great name. Yeah. You, Mel Torme. Mel Torme. Great name. Such a great name.

Yeah. You don't even need a nickname if that's your name. That's for boring names, right? You know what I mean? But Mel Torme. I like the tuna melt because I... Oh, hold on. I need to think.

Would Nick write that? That's a Nick. That's really Nick-ish. It is so funny how you're jumping at that no i think i don't know why my brain went there so i'm gonna have to trust my brain which you often should probably trust your brain over any other body part. But Torme, Tuna Melt. For some reason, I'm thinking there's some link there, but I don't know if I...

Tuna Mornay? Is that what I'm thinking of? If you say Melt or May. Melt or May. Melt? Maybe. Is that it? Is your brain subliminally picking that up?

You know the answer. No, I'm just... I'm reading Melt or May as well. But you you know the answer. No, I'm just, because I can, I'm reading Mel Torme as well. But you do know the answer right now? Yes. So this is now I'm trying to. You're thinking I'm Eddie McGuire. I don't know anything.

I don't know until I've locked it in, does the answer reveal itself. I wish. Yeah, if you would, that you were Eddie. Yeah, and a team of writers at Channel 9 were putting the quiz together. That'd be fantastic. Yeah, look, I'm going to go with it.

I think the tuna melt. I'm locking it in. Eddie? All right. Look at that in for Alex. What do you think, Nick? So he, Mel, didn't like the nickname. Apparently, yeah.

According to his Wikipedia page. Wikipedia.org page. I't i didn't i heard that and i didn't process it and that's a pretty big clue because you know because i don't want to be i assume he doesn't like the tune but anyway that kind of leads me towards the bottomless pit because i don't think anyone i'm stoked with that nickname yeah yeah um no one's coining that themselves. Hey, guys, I'm the bottomless pit. Yeah, so I'm going to lock in the bottomless pit. Awesome. All right.

That leaves you, Cass. Ooh. I think Velvet Fog rules, and I just want to say it. Velvet Fog. Velvet Fog. I'm going to lock it in, Velvet Fog. You can get drinks called, like, London Fogs. It's like, it's a milky tea thing. Velvet. I'm going to lock it in. Velvet fog. You can get drinks called like London fogs. It's like it's a milky tea thing.

Delicious. And two of my favorite drinks are a London fog and a velvet hammer. So I will be going with velvet fog. What is a velvet hammer? It's a cocktail that is, I think, half cream, but it's liquor. The other half. I think it's like orangey. It's immaculate.

So velvet is the cream. Hammer is the moonshine that it's mixed orangey it's immaculate so velvet is the cream hammer is the it's the moonshine that it's mixed with yeah yeah it's the um yeah i swear it's got orange in it velvet hammer i'm gonna look up the ingredients it's crazy before when you said do people ever look up the answers i never considered that was an option it would be a quite a bizarre thing to do oh yeah i wasn't seeing if it was okay and then start doing it. I wasn't playing with it. No, I know, but it's the fact Cas never even considered it.

It'd be like, it'd be pretty fun if you were there going, oh, man, don't, Cas, don't do it. No, no, no. Not in the spirit of the game. Every quiet moment is me just battling my inner demons, being like, don't do it. You have integrity. You see Bella Pop trivia do it all the time.

Yes. Yeah, that is, it's strange. It's so weird. I've done it a couple of times. it all the time. Yes. Yeah, that is, it's strange. It's so weird. I've done it a couple of times. But all the time? Come on. Velvet Hammer is triple sec, creme de cacao and cream and vodka. And it's my new nickname, everyone.

My workplace. The Velvet Hammer. It's your stage name. Yeah. Like, drogman stage. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. The sexually active Pope.

That was Alex. Why did you... I'd love to know how your mind works. Where did you come up with that? Well, the Dave thing. I was like, maybe I'll, you know, I'll insert everyone to thinking, yeah, there we go. Bad.

The liquid chocolate. That was the house. My brain was just thinking, yeah, I saw the melt thing there. The tomato Also the house Just good stuff I think

Perfect stuff Probably doesn't need Explaining No Wasting time The bottom was pit Nick went for that That was Cass

How's it feel Nick? Oh the tables are about to turn Tuna melt Alex went for that That was Nick Oh yes I felt so on top of the world there And that means are about to turn out. Tuna melt. Alex went for that. That was Nick. Oh, damn it. Oh, yes. Oh, I felt so on top of the world there.

And that means Cass was correct. It's the Velvet Fog. Oh. I'd like to thank my taste buds for taking me where I needed to go. What world does this guy not like? The Velvet Fog. Yeah. That is one of the best nicknames ever. Isn't it?

It's beautiful. Yeah, apparently he really disliked it. I'm like, that's one of the better ones you've heard. Yeah. Like, he's a croony-y kind of guy, I guess. And that's why he had a smooth voice, jazz and stuff. Hey, velvet. Oh, oof.

Yeah. Velvet anything, almost. Yeah. It's hard to ruin velvet. Velvet. Velvet's actually active Pope. They're a pretty velvety profession, the Pope, I reckon. True.

Am I picturing right that they wear a bit of velvet? A lot of corduroy. Corduroy Carl. That was the name of the last Pope. White smoke. Corduroy Carl V. It's silk, isn't it?

I don't think it's velvet. They wear purple. They have velvet thrones. There's a bit of velvet. There must be some velvet. There's a lot of shiny gold. There's a lot of thick woven gold stuff, it looks like. It's a bit of red, isn't there?

And purple. Purple's very... There's got to be velvet in there. All right. Only two rounds to go. The scores are now Alex on two, Nick on three, Cass on four, and the house on six. So things are tightening up. And the second last question here comes from Grace Brooks from Radelaide.

And Grace's question is, what tradition is practiced each year during the Puck Fair in County Kerry, Ireland? What tradition is practiced each year during the Puck Fair in County Kerry, Ireland? Puck with a C-K or just with a K? Puck, P-U-C-K. While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about the Velvet Fog. According to Britannica, Mel Torme was an American singer, songwriter, composer, arranger, pianist, drummer, actor, and author, and one of the 20th century's most versatile, respected,

and influential jazz vocalists. Known to his chagrin, that's all I'm going off, as the Velvet Fog. I mean, chagrin's not loving it. No, he's not having a good time. And this is for his smooth vocal quality. He mastered a variety of styles, from mellow love songs to scat,

I assume also the vocal style, and he wrote more than 300 songs. His most familiar is the Christmas song, co-written with Robert Wells and better known by its opening line, Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, which was made famous by Nat King Cole in 1946, nuts roasting on an open fire which was made famous by napkin coal in 1946 and has subsequently had more than 1700 recorded versions wild amount of covers that's yeah who's like when there's

1600 out there who's gone i reckon we need another one of these i think we haven't quite got it let's have another go chestnuts is think, one of my favourite terms for boobs. Chestnuts? I don't think I've ever heard chestnuts before. That is very good. Better than chesticles, I think. Yeah, I think... It's probably the other end of the spectrum.

It's really... It's a horseshoe that comes back around and you kiss. It does change the opening lyric of that song, though. Chesticles. Oh, though. Chesticles. Oh, yeah. Chesticles roasting on an open fire. All right, the answer in for question six. What tradition is practiced each year during the Puck Fair in County Kerry Island?

Someone from the town is chosen to be Puck, the mischievous fairy, for the length of the festival and has to wear a donkey head costume. Hundreds of people roll together down the steep hills often resulting in injuries. The three-legged two-armed potato sack race. A wild mountain goat is crowned king of the town and gets to rule Candy Carry for the three-day duration of the festival. Townspeople gather near the edge of the village to determine who can carry the mayor on their shoulders the furthest up the hill.

Or the mayor of the town buys a house in a town somewhere in the world that has the same name as them. Ah, yeah. Oh, maybe that's connected. That's interesting. That could be connected back to Marissa Stroud. That's got to be somewhere connected. Isn't that wild?

Yeah. I think, yeah, I mean, you've got to remember, I put this quiz together. I've chosen these questions. You're a mastermind. Sometimes I link them together in interesting ways. Yeah, well, this is why you've got an arc to your show. Yes, that's right.

That's right. I'm a big end of the arc. I'm about to bring it all home. And yeah. Okay. So who are we up to? I think it's your go, Nick. What was the question?

Oh, Puck. Puck Fair. So you've got someone's chosen to be Puck, the mischievous fairy. You've got rolling down the hill. Three-legged, two-armed potato sack race. Mountain goat is crowned the king uh three-legged two-armed potato sack race mountain goat is crowned the king uh for three days uh they gather near the edge of the village to determine who can carry the mayor on the shoulders up the hill the furthest or the mayor of the town bots a house in the town somewhere in the world that has the same name as them um i think puck is a character in a shakespeare play that wears a donkey head

and i don't know whether that makes me think it's a real thing or not a real yeah yeah uh i don't think it's the potato sack because that feels like someone knows one thing about Ireland and they're like, I'm going to put this in the answer. I think it's the mountain goat because I like the idea of a mountain goat being the king of an Irish village. I'm going to lock that in. Lock that in for Nick. What do you think, Cass?

I do also like the idea of a mountain goat being king. But I like the idea of carrying a mare. I wouldn't participate, but I would watch. I'm going to say carrying the mare. Carrying the mare, like that, Cass. I was going to go mountain goat too. Which you can do.

You're allowed. And it would guarantee I don't pick Nick. Yes, I was just thinking that. That might be, you might have found be... Do we split the points? No, you each get a point if it's right. So there's no downside to it. No downside. Unless it happens to be Cass or the house. That'd be the only downside.

Gets a point for each. But there's no downside for you directly. Personally. Read me the first one again, sorry. The Mischievous Fairy with the donkey head costume oh that was the puck one okay um let's just go the puck one they're all sorry well i'm yeah i'm spreading my bets on the roulette table i'm putting a dollar on it um no no the donkey head one i i mean i i feel like the mountain goat one, but I would enjoy it a lot more if it was the donkey one.

All right. You still wrote the answers. Mayor of the town buys a house in a town somewhere in the world that has the same name as them. That was Nick. Did you realize that we mentioned something about that earlier? I attempted a callback, yeah. It did not land.

I don't know if you... Yeah, that was a lot. It was too wordy. I was trying to write this in. I was like, this is just going on too long. It's just a tough room. People are killing themselves at home. Laughing.

The three-legged, two-armed potato sack race, that was Cass. And Nick really shredded that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry how he did that to you. No, I'm a fool because I was trying to think of what people do at fairs and I'm like, yeah, but it's like a cool fair. So like egg and spoon race, three-legged race, potato sack race. I'm like, just combine them.

Did you even think about the potato? I did and I'm like, surely it'll be fine. Like I'm just combining things at a fair. No, I'm a fool. Flew too close to that damn sun. Rolling down the steep hills together That was Grace aka The House Grace also wrote the one about the donkey head Costume

Cass went for Carrying the mare on their shoulders That was Alex And Nick was correct it was the mountain goat king You were so close there Alex Oh I nearly had the perfect round My ego got the better of me. I couldn't allow anyone to

share the glory with me, so I had to go out on my own. So that means one point to Alex, one point to Nick, and one point to the house. Alright, we're up to the final question. And this is worth triple points to you three.

Quickly, just so you know what you're going to make up alex on three points nick and cast on four points the house is out to seven points i mean jeez i would have changed things around if you're stuck there alex you'd be on four house to be on six good luck sleeping tonight alex i'm gonna need some melatonin could change everything all right final, final question, number seven, comes from Talia and Amanda from South St. Paul in Minnesota. And I love it. I love when two people come together.

You know the question's going to be even more brilliant. I really reckon they're going to say that. Double entry. We always finish with a movie synopsis question, which I know, Alex, you've listened to 70-odd episodes. I suggested the format. Yeah, you did. So this will be your longest answer.

Probably three, four, five maybe sentences, not much more than that. Just a paragraph. Sure. And your question is, what is the synopsis of the 1980 animated ABC special Scruffy? I think it's American ABC. So it's like an after school special.

A 1980 animated after school special called Scruffy. While your answers are being written. Here's some more info on the Puck Fair. According to Grace. Who references a website called Wanderlush. The Puck Fair traces it 400-year-old origins back to a story involving a goat named Puck. When the town of Kill Organ was pillaged,

a group of goats took off to escape, except for Puck, who instead travelled to a nearby village to alert everyone of the oncoming raiders. This three-day family-friendly festival takes place in Puck's honour. So that's one version of the story, but it sounds like there's a bunch of... They're not really sure where it actually came from. I read a few different articles, but as often is the case, Wikipedia had probably the best summary. It says,

Every year a group of people go up into the McGillicuddy's Reeks mountain range and catch a wild goat. The goat is brought back to the town, and the queen of puck, traditionally a young schoolgirl from one of the local primary schools, crowns the goat king puck. Reading that before, I didn't realize how weird that is. They've made a schoolgirl queen puck and a wild goat king puck. So for three days, there's a schoolgirl, they're married to a goat? Hmm.

Hmm. Or maybe, do you have to be married to be king and queen? I mean, a lot of questions. You can be de facto king and queen. The goat is,

this is what you'd probably do with most kings you've just selected. The goat is then put into a small cage on a high stand for three days. And on the third day of the fair, he is brought down to be led back to the mountains. I'm guessing very confused. Yeah.

What are you telling the other goats? Where have you been? You're not going to believe it. I won't even bother telling you. You're not going to believe it. Yeah, sure. I was up so high. I was up real high.

I was the king. I'm the goat. I'm the goat. He's like, man, I've got to bother telling you. You're not going to believe it. Yeah, sure. I was up so high. I was up real high. I was the king. I'm the goat. I'm the goat. He's like, man, I've got to ride a wheel. Yeah. Yeah, so when he's crowned, this signifies that the festivities may begin. The pubs stay open until 3 a.m., which is a legal exception due to the fair, as all bars in Ireland normally must close at 2am.

This is a source of contention with the local police. More recently, and further to significant objections from animal rights groups, King Puck has only been displayed on the fair stand for a couple of hours rather than three whole days. Feels probably like the right move. It's like, it's hard to have a festival. You feel really festive when there's this goat freaking out. Imagine if you went to Mardi Gras and there was just a cow and a cage. Just go, ah! All right, final question.

What is the synopsis of the 1980 animated ABC special Scruffy? While all of the children on Shell Street are at school, their pet dogs meet up to play games. Scruffy, a three-legged dog belonging to Jessica, is often left out of games as he can't run very fast. But when the local dog catcher starts kidnapping pets and taking them away in his van, it is up to Scruffy to hatch a plan to outsmart him and save his friends.

Scruffy is a lovable Jack Russell Terrier who lives with the Howson family in the suburbs of Minnesota. Scruffy helps teach the children various tips, tricks and other advice about a possible nuclear attack on the USA, including what to do when a nuclear warning sounds, how to barricade your house to prevent injury from broken windows, and how to stock up your house beforehand to survive in the weeks after a nuclear explosion. Walking home from school one day, 10-year-old Billie Jean Wales finds a man named Scruffy living in a dumpster. They begin talking and he tells her his life story

and how he lost everything in a fire two decades earlier. Billie Jean decides to do all she can to help Scruffy get a new start in life. While looking for a dad suit to borrow for Scruffy's job interview, Billie Jean's father comes home unexpectedly and she quickly hides Scruffy in a closet. Her father tells her that she needs to look out. Apparently local bum Frankie Harris killed his family burning his house down for the insurance money and has been seen talking to kids around town. In this touching coming of age story,

Billie Jean has to learn how to fight for what's right even when everyone else is telling her it's wrong. Jesus. Scruffy is a straight to TV knock off version of the classic film Air Bud. It tells the tale of Scruffy is a straight to tv knockoff version of the classics of the classic film airbud it tells the tale of scruffy a down on his luck border collie living in the inner city who has a knack

for shooting hoops through a series of wacky misadventures scruffy ends up getting drafted to the nba signing a multi-million dollar endorsement deal but ends up blowing all his money on smackos and greyhound racing scruffy the puppy is an orphan alone and frightened wandering the streets of the big city she makes friends with joe tibbles a street performer who adopts her then when joe suddenly dies she meets butch an unwanted stray with a heart of gold scruffy's tale will tug at your heartstrings as you experience with her the hardships of life as a stray. Well finally, Ben Levine is a 12 year old outcast. He loves chess, reads the dictionary every day and never skips school. He is picked on daily but doesn't think things could get any worse until he begins growing facial hair. It's patchy and awkward and he soon gains the nickname Scruffy.

How will he overcome the bullying? And will an unlikely source, his grandmother, played by Dame Angela Lansbury, teach him what truly matters in life? All right. All 10 out of 10 films. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I can see these all doing very good business. Sad only one of them's real. Yeah. I have so many lessons to learn we've got seven to make i guess so yeah any any of those you need to run back through at all or i'll try and do them quickly so they're mainly dog related i guess it's like five dogs one homeless man and a kid with a beer so've got a three-legged dog belonging to Jessica

and the dog catcher trying to catch it. Jessica tries to save it. You've got the lovable Jack Russell Terrier who's really good with nuclear attack advice. nuclear attack uh you've got uh billy jean who um tries to help a homeless man but it turns out maybe i it's not clear but maybe he killed his family and she's hiding him in the cupboard um you've got the uh the dog who goes to the nba but ends up blowing all his money on smackos. The orphan puppy, alone and frightened. Just tugging at your heartstrings, meeting people along the way.

Got a heart of gold. Or you got the boy with not very good facial hair. Didn't realize Angela Lansbury got the Dame Hood. Congratulations if you're listening, Angela. And it's an animated show. Yes. But it says played by Angela Lansbury. Yes. So she's just on voice.

You know, played maybe in America. That's how they say voiced. Voiced. Unless it was a new friend, Roger Rabbit animated live. That's true. Yes, it could be. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. A few options. Is it my shot? Well, yeah. How does it work? Well, normally not because in the last round, everyone's had two first goes. Oh, okay. Or whatever.

So it should be whoever's coming last. Yeah. All right. Let's see. We don't need to look. you're only one point off second place okay so what are you thinking um i think i actually think the scruffy. Yeah. Lock it in. No, the facial hair one. Facial hair. I think.

The Angela Lansbury, a lovely little detail. Yeah, I'm going to go with it. Are you thinking it is Roger Rabbit style? Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. No, I think it's, as you say, they've been played when it's voice, and it's the easiest 10 grand she's ever made to voice over something

in a studio, not probably unlike this, for some silly animated show. Yeah. I think the two people submitting, it's like, do you remember that thing we were watching about the weird kid? Oh, I can't. Oh, my God. Yes, I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas the one about the second one or the third the second last one heartstrings pulling your heartstrings little dog maybe if it was one submitter who really liked that but two people no okay i'm sorry i've talked through all my brain you don't think heartstrings can be played as a duet? No, absolutely not. It's purely a solo piece. No, you're not. No, exactly. Not if you're submitting together. Oh, no.

I'll go heartstrings. Okay. He's got a heart of gold. All right. The dog has a heart of gold. Yes? Yeah, and I'll chug my cyanide about it when it doesn't work out. What do you think, Nick?

I think it's the nuclear advice dog. Yeah. I think that sounds... The submitters are American, and this is an American TV station, right? Yeah. So I think that is something that would be produced in America. I did also like the coming-of-age story.

That sounded very enjoyable. Was that the one about the... Fighting a murderous homeless man in a cabin. That one had the most going on. Yeah. Yeah, that one... I'll be honest with you, I haven't read any of them particularly well.

So a few of them reading them through, maybe including the real one, shocked me and surprised me. Maybe not. Maybe the real one didn't shock me at all. I'm not giving anything you've all locked in your answers so here's the right the answers um the children on shell street that one where uh jessica finds a three-legged dog scruffy that was cass page uh the one about the

uh homeless man getting a suit that was tolya and amanda this is so good homeless man getting a suit, that was Talia and Amanda. It was so good. But man, what a twist. The dad's come in. Did you read that like he was a killer? Because the way it ended then by saying, it's a coming of age story. Well, she learned to fight for what's right.

Is it like the town's just got this, they've told this bad story about this guy he's just being wrongly maligned i mean that's why i want to watch it yeah a lot of questions uh the straight to tv knockoff of the classic 90s film airbud which was in a lot of ways this 1980 film was before its time that was by nick schuler i was gonna say i was i thought it through but i didn't say it i thought schmackos is that australian yeah i think dogs go wacko for schmackos yeah i wonder what i feel like i saw them burst onto the scene right you remember when all those schmackos ads came on? And I wasn't alive in the 80s. Okay. Yeah.

Dogs go wacko. Dogs go wacko for Schmackos. What's in them? Because they really do go weird when you give... Have you ever given a dog a Schmacko? Oh, yeah. Weird dog. I reckon it's the king of that Irish town. A few strips off him.

I don't think we want to look up what goes in Schmackos, by the way, if you ever want to feel good about giving a dog a treat every day. A whole lot of corduroy car. How much do we care about where Schmackers are? No, no, you can continue. Maybe I can look it up. That was just my- I found that there is a page on there that is our Paulosophy.

Great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How many people are looking up the porlosophy? What's your porlosophy? The dog's just dying for a treat. Let's just make sure we get the right brand. Okay. Alex went for the one about the scruffy facial hair.

That was written by Talia and Amanda. So that's a point of the house there. Nick went for the nuclear tips, the dog with the nuclear tips. That was Alex. Oh, that must have been satisfying. Oh, that's better than even winning. Nick in my trap. And that means Cass is correct.

It's the dog with the heart of gold. And it just sounds like it's a really sad movie about this orphan dog who, like the first person she befriends dies. Why are they doing this? He dies. Oh, wow. That's such a, like, for an after school special, I would assume it wants to teach you something. But that just teaches you that life is a road of grief.

Yeah, yeah. We need to drill into these kids early on. Everything you hold dear will disappear if you feel alone in this world and find someone who understands you good luck oh man it's like have you ever seen never ending story oh yeah with a horse oh yeah it's like don't put that in there don't put that out of children's yeah thank you that's the most horrendous i've never seen anything more sad in my life and And it's for, I'm eight years old watching it, like about to burst into tears.

Lion King's dad, you know, falling down. They do, it's pretty classic stuff. I know, I guess. This was real. Yeah, yeah, that's a cartoon lion. And a cartoon lion. Compared to a real, and they killed that horse in the Moogalub. Yeah, the horse was dead was the horse is in a

schmacka right now all right geez that tightens things up while i do the scores um is there anything i tell you about this movie it's really doesn't have much out there uh but on imdb uh it's a lot of 10 out of 10 reviews it's gotta be nostalgia but people love it love this sad dog movie the only negative one is a one star and it says I saw this movie about 15 years ago this was written in 2004 so

saw it in the 80s and I was shocked at how horrible it is looking back I wonder why such a frightening movie was released to kids. And then they go through spoiling the whole movie. And it's just like bit by bit of why it's grim. Like, they're adopted by a firefighter, but soon Scruffy's mum gets one to lust and the two set off again. In a scene reminiscent of Bambi, Scruffy's mother gets gunned down.

Oh, my God. Gunned down. But the deer in Bambi is by a hunter, not by like a gang leader or something. Yeah, what's that? Why is a dog getting gunned down in the city? Jesus, Scruffy. Oh, my God. Is that the one?

Yeah, that's the one. that looks too darling for a beautiful heartwarming story of love that is yeah that's a darling looking dog clickbait for it like any kid will be like yes this is a beautiful and it's got nothing about the mom getting shot at by a drive-by yeah so geez the scores change a lot in that final round. And I will say that Alex changing his score, his choice in the second last round changed everything. The final scores are on four points, it's Nick. On six points, it's Alex. Seven points, it's Cass.

But out in front on eight points, it's the house. If you didn't change your answer, it would have been a three-way tie between you, me, and Cass. What was who won? I won on eight, but if you switched your answer being from you to me in the second last round, so we would have all finished on seven.

Oh, because I picked you and got an extra point. You took one from you and gave it to me. Right. Just in case, because you ever forgive me? Wasn't there another thing that you were saying you were going to struggle to sleep tonight about? This one should put that on the list. Thinking about scruffy.

Probably scruffy at the top of the pile. Thanks so much for playing. What a joy it's been after dark. And we did get pretty saucy tonight. Yeah, we did uh where can people find you cast you've got your pod network yep sanspantsradio.com we've got shut up a second we've got being hot is hard they're all great listen to them being hot is hard just real quickly it's just about how it is hard uh being hot yeah we we interview comedians and other notable hotties

and we just pretty much we just find out what they do with it's weird that makes them look hot people do weird stuff and i love talking about it how do you vet the guest must be tough to turn a guest down you're like oh this it's not the we really have some better options out there than you we reach out to them okay yeah so if and yeah don't reach out to cast listeners hey, that's good. That's the right way to do it. So, yeah, don't reach out to cast listeners. Hey, I've heard this is the place for us hotties to chat. I say don't do it. I've tried and, yeah, it's pretty brutal.

What about you, Alex? Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, Whitebait Online, and you can find my podcast community, Noticeboard Pod, on Instagram and all community podcasting networky things um and yeah my show don't we look stupid at melbourne comedy fest and yeah my instagram is probably the best way or just search me on the comedy fest website and then and sydney as well and sydney as well don't forget about sydney yes a couple of shows there as well so that's later in uh may And I'll be there.

I'm pretty confident I'll be there. And what about you, Nick? I'm on Instagram too, NickDCSchuler. My show is called Still Dry White in Melbourne. Also, I didn't mention this at the start, I got given like a marketing grant from the Comedy Festival and so I just bought a bunch of wine that I will be giving away at the show. No shit.

So, yeah, if you want to come and get some free wine that's awesome check it out free wine yeah that's so cool just like bottles in the yeah bottles with like the show poster is the label that is pretty oh sick yeah have you tasted the wine no not yet it's It shouldn't be too bad. I'm sure it'll be. I don't know. It was $9 a bottle. For a little bottle? No, like a full bottle. Right, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's wholesale. And it's what are you going to complain? You know what I mean? It's free. Exactly. It's free.

Calm down. Try it out. Is it a dry white? It is. Yeah. It's a savvy B. Imagine you get a sparkling red or something. Get them things through.

It's ironic, I guess guess thanks so much for joining us thanks everyone for listening give us a thumbs up if you want I think you know anyone who might enjoy it stick around for the outtakes I have a funny feeling this episode will have a lot of them you wouldn't believe how funny Alex was in the breaks oh god

I had to cut some out cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart now that you know what i've been matt show it goodbye in the silent bits alex feel free to be funny i was waiting for no no I mean feel free to be quiet as well do we edit that out or is that it would yeah for the most

if it's if it's silent or unfunny it'll be edited out we'll trim this up down but if if you just happen to

say something real funny maybe get a riff going okay maybe throwing something over to Cass and she just smashes it okay then that might that might make the show smashes it okay then that might that

might make the show that's how that's that might be the pressures on me yeah is that worth saying no there's no pressure on you though because if it's all upside if it sucks it's out uh and yeah you any of those little bits you just could say i'm put to the end which some people say is their favorite part of the show and i don't know how to take that i like i mean it's nice that they like any part of the show but they're talking about we like getting through the show and i don't know how to take that i like i mean it's nice that they like any part of the show but they're talking about we're getting through the show and then our favorite part is the off cut again have a favorite part and still not like any part they can just like it the that's our least worst least worst part but they on the other hand they might love the whole show and then like this even more i feel like it's quite weird if they hate the whole show so much

and at the end there's a slight reprieve that they listen every week. I stick it out for that little bit that isn't so bad. Well, if you are listening to this at the end of the episode and that is your frame of mind, you know, give us, chuck us a line. Maybe tag Alex in, he's pretty curious. I'd love to know. In a couple of weeks when this comes out,

I'm sure he'll definitely remember what this is about. All right, the answer in for question number one what does the saskatchewan term bunny hugs mean a sleevy good start that that might make the end see that's funny i said i didn't say a word right yeah and i think that's like a blooper reel it's the audio equivalent slipping on a banana peel that's funny oh he didn a blooper reel, right? It's the audio equivalent. Slipping on a banana peel. That's funny. He didn't quite say that word, right? Not bad. Not bad. And I do that on purpose.

I basically do that as a bit. So you're a slapstick guy? Yeah. Not dry at all? No, dry slapstick. Dry slapstick. Silly state. It's a silly state. What is it? Say it is it again saskatchewan see that you should be slipping on the banana yeah how do you not slip on that banana every time well you got ontario

yeah well i mean you think i'm nailing it when Do any of us know how it's going to be said? That's true. Yeah, okay. I'm going to go go hype. That's going to make it. That will be in there. That will be in there for sure. And, oh, Nick, say something really funny while I just cut and paste them. Oh, sorry, I asked the wrong guy.

Alex, say something funny. I was going to ask Matt, was that article you were reading from, that was a whole piece of journalism about the term bunny hug? Yeah, an edited down version of the bunny hug. And they say journalism's dying. No, certainly not. You just got to know where to look. Is it a Wikipedia link?

No, this was CBC, like I guess Canadian ABC. Okay. To put it in a term, do you understand? I know you're a big Australian broadcasting corporation guy. Do you get around to it? What's the suburb? It seems it's got a cool name in Sydney. Ultimo? Ultimo. Isn't that a great name in Sydney. Ultimo? Ultimo.

Isn't that a great name for a place? Ultimo. Yeah, John Ultimo's moving there tomorrow. What is this? I'm out of that chance. Yeah, yeah. I knew I was moving to Sydney. That's funny.

We should do that more. What are you doing? He's electrocuting himself. No electrocuting. Please, Nick. No. I'm fidget. I should do that more. What are you doing? He's electrocuting himself. No electrocuting. Please, Nick. No. Fidget. I'm fidgeting.

The biggest fidgeter. Well, that was pretty good, Nick, actually, in the end. But I needed a little... Took a while. Yeah, it did take a while. But yeah, the problem was you asked me a question, which distracted me from the thing that You were meant to be covering it. In Jap...

Japanese. When you start a word like that, sometimes I try and recover it, but you can't. You can't start Japanese with jip and recover it. Although I did think about it. Here we go. Question number three.

Oh, and by the way If you happen to know The answer to any of them Just play it like you don't When you After you're guessing Because I actually knew that But

Still put in a fake one And don't I did know the sea snake one As well Yeah Sorry I didn't realise I didn't know

Sorry Um Who's being funny someone quick pressure's on now i don't think i've ever put that kind of brought i don't know why alex i really really thought it'd be a bit fun to fuck with you i'm not sure why do math pod you know the part where he makes you a bit funny spontaneously no no that's never

come up before no actually other guests have said how relaxing this bit is they're like it's so nice

I just get to sit here in silence but for some reason I'm like you better you better not leave any gaps mate

make it good I know I'm trying to think of bits to do while I'm writing my answers to no I'm trying to think of bits to do while I'm writing my answers to I'm going to do a five minute spot

I'll miss my spot so I'll just start doing my spot yeah do your set are you doing this show elsewhere while you're or is it just coming to Melbourne

or are you I'm going to do a Sydney Com Fest as well yeah so it'll be after it's Sydney Comedy Fest is like the biggest slide down the hill after comedy fest here because you do 15'll be after it's um sydney comedy fest is like the biggest slide

down the hill after comedy first here because you do 15 shows in melbourne then you do two yeah saturday and sunday the cheekiest little easy shows well in my brain they should be you know yeah by the time you yeah as well the show would be tight oh man sarana coming to sydney as well awesome should be fun comedy fest yeah comedy Fest, yeah? Comedy Fest, yeah. I think we are. Yeah. Just taking you to his place. I am.

Like, yeah. You know, the conversations you have planning out a festival season, and then at time we were like, I think I'd... Was that this year? Seren, the organized one of you guys? No, we've got a producer, so... Oh, that's good. Because, no, he's not.

Because he's about as organised as me. Okay, no tickets on my website for Sydney, but I'm sure that's happening. Brisbane's there. I'm pretty confident we're going to Sydney. Doesn't matter. All right. It doesn't matter.

All right. I haven't been keeping score. Is that going to be important, do you think, to this show? No, I'm quite happy with that. I'm not sure. Could you repeat this question? Yes. So, 18th century scientist James Price died in an odd way.

How did he die? James Price, 18th century scientist James Price Died in an odd way How did he die? James Price, 18th century scientist Has anyone ever been caught Looking up the answers on their phone? I feel like it's No one's been caught No one's ever played that well That it would Even be stuff on it

So if anyone's done it They've done it subtly enough yeah but what a funny sort of game to it'd be great try and

I would love that cheat to win it I'd love to hear a story about someone who comes in isn't funny just aces every question and they're just like hold on a minute

yeah yeah there's a lot of trust going on mhm mhm mhm yeah how many rounds seven so you've got you've got Yeah, there's a lot of trust going on. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. How many rounds?

Seven. You've got plenty of time. People have come back from worse positions. Yeah, okay. This is a tortoise in a hare scenario, I think. I could see this round changing all around. I mean, you can get three points in a round, so you could hit the lead in the next two rounds

if you pull your fucking finger. God, pressure to be funny, pressure to be good at the game. How is the pod going? What's the wildest? So quickly, I don't know if Cass knows about it, but the show's all about... Communities. Communities. We grew up. Yeah. So I the show's all about... Communities. Communities.

We grew up. Yeah. So I came on and talked about Moorabbin. Yeah. So we... What's the most obscure place you've had? Very early on we had a very funny comedian, good mate of mine, Jack Wright, who was born and grew up...

Well, he's born there, Norfolk Island. Oh, cool. His parents were over there teaching and he sort of grew up there and a lot of great history so we have the guest on and we do three hosts do a bit of research about and find like wacky stories and did you know stuff and they also will often uh have their own have their own stuff to bring up um yeah a lot of obviously australian suburbs but we've done um i wouldn't say wacky but far away you know like you know scotland canada um like towns and and american towns and stuff like that but yeah i thought you got to get

marissa stroud on she's wrote the book yeah marissa if you're there melissa kate whatever you want to call whatever i want to get the you. We got it right first, Bart. Get the mayor on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah. Fun show. You're from Camber, Nick? Yeah, but I was born and grew up in Oxford, England. Oh, okay. So that would be ripe.

Yeah. Some crazy stuff. Do you guys know about this stuff here? Yeah, I've heard of this place. Yeah. Because it because a little a little bit more interesting than canberra yeah a touch we've done a couple of eps on canberra and by the third one it's like oh my god this is uh danny danny bensley your co-host drew drew who

grew up in uh queen bow yeah don't say don't say sorry don't say canberra to a Queanbeyan. If you're unfamiliar with the discussion here, Canberra is the capital city of Australia and just across the border in a different state is a shithole called Queanbeyan. And people on either side of the border do not get on. Yes. It's a very like... And they're the little chip on their shoulder.

It's a Shelbyville thing. Yeah, exactly. But they don't like assuming they're from Canberra. Who's Shelbyville? Yeah, that's a good question. Which one has the sexy cousins? I think Coimbo would be the sort of more backwards. More?

As far as the lore of it goes, yes. Right. Yes. All right. I think I already said we're back, but anyway. Sorry, Connor. All right, we're back. Sure, that's some gold that may well make the cut.

Yeah, right on the back of the head. We're all the gold. After all the banana pits. So the answer is... And then I'm referencing a thing that, you know, I'm trying to think that, you know, I'm trying to think of Connor in the edit. He's like, don't reference the thing you've just said.

I'll probably cut out. Coffee first landed on British shores towards the end of the 16th century, but that doesn't mean it's ground, right? Yeah. I mean, he's a scientist. He could... Every time I picture a scientist, I I'm thinking of the I'm thinking of Flubber the opening sequence of Flubber that's what an inventor is to me

yeah yeah goggles on white white coat yeah for sure big explosion mark all over the head hair going every direction

yeah just neck and cyanide um breakfast of champions Just neck and cyanide. Breakfast of champions. Yeah, I feel like normally I have some, I've read a bit about it and I've put that info in to read, but for some reason I forgot to do that one and that's why I've just tried to do it on the run

and I feel like I've got more questions than I can. You did it on the run, you slipped like i've got more questions than i began you did on the run you slipped on a peel alexa could really use the zinger here oh jeez okay um no i got nothing i'm trying to think It's weird that he wrote his will six months beforehand. Yeah, everything about that seemed a bit odd. But is it that weird to write? It's the weirdest mention there, but aren't you supposed to write your will before you die? You should always write your will before you die.

Yeah, ideally. God, I've never written a will. Have you guys written wills? No. No. Have you written a will? We'll watch some daytime TV And then you'll feel guilty for not writing a will Yeah

Every third ad is like Have you written a will? Go to the post office Get to the post office Pick up your free will kit from Australia Post Where will it go? I don't I mean

I don't have any idea But it feels like Unless you've got like A lot of stuff and people who have a right to it who hate each other, isn't it just going to figure it out, won't they? Yeah. No, I learned about this.

If you die, things like your super and stuff have to go somewhere. But if you don't have a will, the people who are grieving you have to apply to say that they know you. And then every time they make a claim to do something with anything in your estate, they have to, like, fill in forms. It sounds horrible. Oh, okay. All right. Maybe I'll get a will. I've been will-pilled.

I've recently been will-pilled. I'm going to go to the post office. I'm going to pick up my will kit. I just assume, like, if you've still got parents, it goes to them. And if you don't, then siblings or kids or, you know. And then it just sort of goes out, but it's not that logical. When you say just goes out. Just goes out to your neighbours.

Cousins. Yeah, I think it would go to your next. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm thinking of something else. What am I thinking of? No, no. There's got to be a reason why every third ad is a wheel. Because I'm like, surely it just makes sense like that.

Not only if you've got bickering siblings does it even matter. Or millions and millions of unbickering siblings who now start bickering pretty quickly. Yeah, that's right. But no, there's got to be more of a reason to it, I guess. Yeah. I mean, the fact that they're advertising the do-it-yourself-for-free thing means it must mean something.

I could get it if it was ads to be like come to my bank or financial establishment pay my lawyer's fees i'll write your will would not be a convincing ad to do in the cartoonish evil voice to be like give me the money oh no that guy's got a good point. All right. The answers are in for question number five. Nothing here on this show counts as legal advice. It's very important I put that. Do not get a will. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Just risk it. Things will go out. You'll be dead, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, who cares? Yeah, and it turns out that I'm I've figured out

this loophole where I'm getting everyone's just quickly on the will thing I've looked up uh the first paragraph

from a few search results here and um it says according to the public trustee of Queensland by creating a will individuals can

have peace of mind knowing their wishes about how their assets should be distributed and known for example a will can request that a step-parent's assets are passed on to their stepchildren or that our estate is distributed to our loved ones in the proportions that we want so that's sort of what i was thinking but there but it does say on this other one, Legal Aid Victoria, if you don't have a will or the will's not valid, then an application for a grant of letters of administration may need to be made to the Supreme Court. Normally, the deceased next of kin have to apply for the grant.

So that does sound like what you're saying. Like, you don't want to... It's saving your parents and everyone from a huge headache going to the supreme court to get your hold and cruise and be able to sell it they're like do we can we just leave it where it is uh what's that thing that people do that makes people feel emotional in a comedy show? Lie. Lie.

Yeah, I'm doing that. It's about to get sad. Yeah, I'm about to do the sad. Do you mean the netting? What is it? There's like a word for it. It's the meh. It starts with M, I think.

I've only ever heard it called the netting. I know. Oh, the netting. Yeah, yeah. It's whatever Nanette was doing. That's not her name. Can't edit out that. And not edit out and put it in the end.

Leave it in, Connor. Leave it. I can't think of the word. What's that word? You know, you've got to have that thing. Oh, like a crescendo? Yeah, but there's a word that's like a... It doesn't matter.

Edit all of this out. Like there's a specific word for... The emotional. Yeah, yeah. The emotional thing. And it's only in shows. And you're saying it starts with M? Probably not.

Doesn't matter. I'll think of it. I'll message you all 3M tonight. Isn't it 3M now? 20 tonight 20 minutes yeah when we start it's been a long aship but uh yeah i think we'll finish around three tomorrow what was the question again yeah uh what tradition is practiced each year during the Puck Fair in County Kerry, Ireland? County Kerry, that's where my ancestors are from, so I feel pretty well connected. Ancestor or all of them? Well, not all of them.

I've got a pretty diverse background. Some are from Scotland. And also Swiss Italy Swiss Italy? They're from Switzerland But Why do you need this? On the border of Italy

So they call them Swiss Italians They speak Italian but they're Swiss That's it yes That's right Okay You know my people? Yeah I was going to say Maybe that's what Next time I'm on the show I've got a visit there Okay. You know my people? Yeah, I was going to say.

Maybe that's what, next time I'm on the show, I've got to visit there. Oh. But I'll go there and then come back and talk about Gouda or whatever. There's a little town they're from. It's like a tiny little town. It's Gouda. I think it's Gouda. I think it's spelt different, but it's like that. Or Goudo, maybe.

Goudo. It's pretty important to me. And I think I'll even remember the name after I visit it's spelled different, but it's like that. Or Goudo, maybe. Goudo. That's pretty important to me. And I think I will even remember the name after I've said it. Let's do it. I don't know if we'll have Oxford-level sort of interest, but... Goudo. If the cheese is from there, I'm taking Goudo. I feel like that's going to run the episode.

Is this a town in Ireland, did you say? This one's near the Swiss-Italian border. Yeah. I think it's Goud. I think it might be Goudo. Goudo. That's a bad nickname. It's someone, you know what I mean?

Someone Goud, John Goud, and they're like, Goudo. Goudo. Hey, mate. Yeah, this is a real crook off-brand cheese aldi gouda i can't imagine you know how your brain's so childish that i just think you think of italians and think of swiss people and i can't think of who's hanging out at the border like i can't combine them in my head yeah you know they're either like it's like red you know yeah up in the mountains and they're like very swiss or they're yeah yeah yeah or they're mario spinning

pizza you know that's when someone told me like the russia borders like north korea and i'm like that doesn't make any sense to me i can't wrap my head around who's hanging out on the village yeah it's like canberra queen bean yeah yeah those animals out there just the population in gudo is 754 oh i reckon they'll love it if i come in can i go my people i imagine they'll welcome me okay you've put your answers in. I've got distracted with Gudo. Oh, Alex, say something funny. I just sent you something funny, didn't I? No, I didn't.

I've tried not to be funny anymore. Eyes on the prize. Yeah, that's it. I went for it. It was sexually active. The lowest percentage answer that would ever get a vote in history.

But, yeah, good. Is that actually a Wikipedia page? Yeah. Actually active pipes? Yeah,

yeah. How many are on there? I think it was. Can we expand that list by adding two? You want to go fuck with Pope? Is that what you're saying?

It doesn't mean currently sexually active, right? There are most of them. Yeah. It's a pretty short list of it's just alive and fucking Pope. Popes were actively having sex right

now. Yeah, it's a live camp. That is like there's a few. Oh. Oh. There's a... I love that each entry has a bit of a story. That's my night. Here are the...

Let's just quickly... This is definitely going to be the end. I can feel Connor just cutting this up going on. This is end energy, yeah. Here are the subcategories. Popes who are legally married, fathered illegitimate children before holy orders, known to or suspected of having fathered illegitimate children before holy orders, known to or suspected of having fathered illegitimate children

after receiving holy orders, popes alleged to be sexually active during pontificate, relationships with men, relationships with women and men. So there's a lot of subcategories there as well. So no relationship just with women? Yeah, none with just women. Right. I think they don't count them unless they were kids.

Because all the other ones had kids on and they... Yeah, well, it didn't work. Yeah. We did an episode on be honest errors and the current Pope, Pope Fun fact Was a bouncer at a nightclub Really? Growing up in Buenos Aires There you go Yeah

A bouncer He was a bouncer Not in those shoes And he was fully velveted as well You know In those velvet shoes So yeah He would have

What a That mustn't have happened before It wasn't at a Pope at the time Is there a Like there's Oh you mean There has never been a nightclub bounce at Pope? What a career trajectory. No one's had that one before.

That's wild. Just stay not really late, start in full sleep, be like, man, I'm going to get out of this place one day. I'm going to follow my dreams. I'm going to be the Pope and they're like, sure. Because it's a vote as well. So he would have just said, I'm just going to throw my hat in the ring.

My giant pointy hat I reckon he's Like the Pope Is kind of like The bouncer of heaven No? Oh that's true I think that's like

Career experience Yeah That's right Because the Yeah Who's the guy At the gates? St Peter

And he's the first Pope He's like Was he? Yeah There you go There you go. There you go. Jeez. Did you say jizz?

I said... No, I... That's what Matt said. I did it and I said it. I said, jeez, jeez. Nick really pulled that together. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.