Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 83 - Nick Mason, Cass Paige and Mish Wittrup

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Mish Wittrup (Mish and Zach's Leguizamarama), Cass Paige (Sanspants, Shut Up A Second, Being Hot Is Hard) and Nick Mason (The Weekly Planet)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my god, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show is called Dry a Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull apart only at Wendy's.

It's ooey, gooey and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Now first guest you may from her podcast, Mish and Zach's Leguizamorama. It's Big Wet herself, Mish Whitrop. Big Wet is in the fucking house. You're very welcome. You are very welcome.

Just got humid in here. Our second guest, maybe this is why, our second guest is from the Being Hot Is Hard podcast. She's the one with the general energy. It's Cass Page. When you get big wet and you get a lot of hot in the same room, that's when humidity is created. That's right. Although Cass hasn't said a thing yet.

Maybe she's not here. Maybe I'm not here. I realized in the middle of the clapping, I'm like, wow, this is nice. I'm really happy to be here and I wasn't talking. I'm so sorry. You said gentle energy and I'm like, that's so nice. Wow.

I'm really happy to be here. That's gentle. It doesn't get much more gentle than just quietly. And it is too gentle. Yeah. I'm slipping into a room like a whisper. Our third. Two very different things I think, but our third, I think you're more of a whisper

than a fart to me Cass. Our third guest this week is known as the internet's number one party boy from the weekly planet. It's Nick Mason. Hello It's great to be here. I'm a regular humidity regular temperature. Everything's very regular Are you actually known as the internet's number one party boys that a thing from the pod? No, I've made that up I've given myself a nickname. That's such a clever nickname to give yourself, because if that catches on at all, what a fucking legend. I'm Big Wet. You're the number one party boy on the

internet. And I've decided to ride this Big Wet thing. And that's horrific. Like, I could be 60 and have someone come up to me like, oh, hello. Back in the day, were you Big Wet? And that's at that point, I'll just throw myself off the fucking bridge. Don't keep that in

She decided to ride that big wet thing. Yeah, you go on your tombstone. I think yeah, that's exactly right If the bridge was over water that would be it what a fitting way to go for you She died doing what she liked Even bigger wet yeah, I'm one at last. Yeah big wet was the infinite wet Her and the even bigger wet became one at last. Yeah, big wet was the infinite wet. Yeah. So the way the show works, I ask a relatively obscure trivia question

our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one, and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener, Hayley. I love this game. As every time you describe it, I just get a little bit excited. Because also it's also

been established that I'm quite good at it. Wow. Yeah. Must be nice. Must be quite a nice. So Hayley's question is, what is the meaning of the German word, apologies in advance for the pronunciation here, Irish Schalen, Solbrookstalen, Verasachter. And how do you spell that? E-I-E-R-S-C-H-A-L-E-N-S-O-L-L-B-R-U-C-H-S-T-E-L-L-E-N-V-E-R-U-R-S-A-C-H-E-R.

U-R-S-A-C-H-E-R. Oeschleiln soll ruckstahln verstascha. I don't know if I'm getting that. I'm probably not really close though. I guess just make up a... Well, give us a meaner with German thing. Sure. Sorry. Sorry that we're starting on a hard one.

Although Mish has already put the phone down. I am deeply regretting how cocky I was. I should have left that out and just known within that I'm good. There was no need for me to tell you all because now I'm gonna do badly. I've never had a bigger creative block in my life. Right now I'm like, I don't even know what words mean. Yeah, not at all.

Well, while you're writing your answers, I'll explain to the audience how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. I'll put into a moment fake answers for each question, and I'll get a point for each one of those

that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me the house. And because of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and because of that the guests get triple points in the final round to even things up a bit. Anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question sign up on any level by patreon.com slash dugornpod which is linked in the show notes. Looks like the answer in for question number one and it

is, damn I gotta say it again. What is the meaning of the German word? Eierschaschen, Solbruchstelle, Ver-schas-schah. That's the worst of the three attempts I've had, I reckon. I wonder if anyone who speaks German listening has been able to make out what you are trying to say yet. I don't think. I listened to a tutorial on how to say it and it's the word, you are trying to say yet. I don't think that. I listen to a tutorial on how to say it,

and it's the word, I'm trying to say it like I heard it, but I'm not, you know what I mean? Like the sounds are not coming, they're not anywhere near what I heard. Can you cut and paste it and send it to us so I can like look at it? Oh yeah. Okay. Now?

I mean, yeah, or later, doesn't matter. I'd like you to send it to me tonight at midnight. Okay. Now. I mean, yeah, or later. It doesn't matter. I'd like you to send it to me tonight at midnight. Yeah. Send mine next week. It's just, I'm having trouble understanding anything. Yeah. I don't know if looking at it will help, but see how you go. That's what it looks like.

Oh, it's hyphenated. Okay. That changes things. Yeah. Oh, nah, it doesn't help. Not at all. Erk-shar-len-shul-buch-stell-en-ver-oo-sh-sasha. Oh, this is the opening to Pretty Fly for a White Guy.

Yeah. Ah! Erk-shar-len-shul-buch-stell-en. Yeah. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. So, here are your options. It's a device used to crack open eggs, literally translating to eggshell predetermined breaking point causer.

May your suspenders never sag on a hot summer's day. That's option two. That's very funny and not it. Then you've got the legal term for the crime of knowingly selling stolen goods, a pop star's backup dancer and or backup singer, a feeling halfway between embarrassment and relief. For instance, you might feel Irish Garland, Solan Breckenstam and Vera Shaka when you have sawed yourself whilst running an Olympic marathon.

That's funny. Or eating the last item of food in a group, such as eating the last biscuit in a packet. I would never. Sorry. Second last, sure. I would, I took the last cheesecake. No, you did too.

Oh, no, you just offered to split the last one. Yeah, you did too. Oh, I know. You just offered to split the last one. Yeah, but have you ever tried to eat a piece of cheese or something with another person and you don't want to be rude, so you just constantly don't want to take the last bit, so you're just getting it down to the bare minimum? Yeah, yeah. I was dating for a long time. I was single for seven years, so I did a lot of dating, and there was a lot of that,

that just not wanting to be the person who has the last bit. So you're just constantly just whittling down the cheese until it's literally transparent. You hold it up to the sun and it disintegrates. Do you like the last crumb? Yeah, that's exactly right. Anyway, sorry. Please you, you have the last crumb.

Actually, let's just kiss. I'm gonna have to. Uh, Mace, do you want to have first cracking? Okay. See, cause German has, they have Schadenfreuden, right? Yeah, they got the specific. Very specific thing. So maybe they have a bunch of those

or maybe we just think they do and there's only the one. I like the first one. I like the egg breaking thing. Okay. What is the egg that... Device used to crack open eggs literally translating to eggshell predetermined breaking point causer. I want it to be that. I don't know if it is. In fact, I don't even think it is, but I want it to be that. So I'm gonna say that one. Alright, look at that in, Cas, what about you?

I think it's Mishis. I think it is that one. But I would rather be a foe than a friend. What were the other options? May your suspenders never sag on a hot summer's day. Legal term for the crime of knowingly selling stolen goods. Pop stars backup dancer and or backup singer. Feeling halfway between embarrassment and relief. Or eating the last item of food in a group such as...

Because they might have that. It might be some sort of... Like it's... it's traitorous to do that, you know? There was a... One we did years ago. Years ago? Episodes ago. And it was file storch, and it meant a stork that's had an arrow stuck through its head, but it still survived and flew home for the summer.

That was the real translation. Wow. They just make words differently in German. So there's at least two very specific words in there. Yeah. Also this isn't really like, it's not even like Schadenfreude or it's not like it's one thing. It's three words.

We can do that in English. They've mushed it together. You know? Egg-breaking machine. Look, I've done it. It's not that hard. I'm going to go the legal term. Legal term.

All right, look at that, Cass. Even though you did say you think it's a different one, love that strategy. What do you think of that strategy, Mish? I was leaning towards the embarrassment one, but the example afterwards was very funny. And we are all very funny. And good looking. Yeah. Very attractive.

So. I'm going to go with that one because I like the ring to it and hey, like let's just have some fun. All I say is there's no need to take this too seriously. Let's get this serious air out of the room. I just would like to get it out. I know I said I'm good, but I'm just... Nah, I'm not.

Let's just keep the fun. Keep it light. So you're going with the halfway between embarrassment and relief? Yes. Alright, here's the right answer. This is such a beautiful and powerful backpedal. Just keep the fun, keep it light. So you're going with the halfway between embarrassment and relief? Yes. All right, here's the right answers.

This is such a beautiful and powerful backpedal. Eating the last item of food from a group, that was Cass Page. Then we had Popstar's backup dancer, backup singer, that was Mish. Lovely. May your suspenders never sag on a hot summer's day, that was Mayso. I thought we were going with an expression hot summer's day. That was May so.

I thought we were going with an expression. I didn't, I wasn't listening. I haven't started yet. I'm not even on yet. That means one of us got it. That means one of us got it. One of us got it. Oh my God, one of us got it.

And I'm not making it really chill, but I want to know who it is. But that's the thing, Matt never tells. He doesn't tell us. We'll never know. So I'm moving on to question two. Oh, hate that. Feeling halfway between embarrassment and relief. I didn't get it. Mishrem for that. Oh, hate that. Uh, feeling halfway between embarrassment and relief.

I didn't get it. Misch-ren for that, that was the house. I didn't get it. Casper went for the legal term, that was Haley, okay, the house, meaning Mesa was correct. It's a device used to crack open eggs. I knew as soon as you started ripping out that brain shit that I was like, oh, he's right, because he used smarts.

Brain shit? Yeah, he was just like, oh, he's right. Because he used smarts. Brain shit? Yeah, he was just like, you know, actually in Germany, they often put words together. I was like, well, he's going to get it right. But do I have do I have smarts or do I just think of everybody in stereotypes? Is that? That's probably what it is. I think you might be racist. Yeah, well, I've got a point, though, don't I? So I'm a racist with a good point.

That's a good point. Do you dock points for racism, Matt? Think carefully before you answer. I could do. I could do. Yeah. But obviously we'd have to have, we'd have to figure out exactly what constitutes racism. I mean, I don't know.

Can we define a term like racism? Do you have a picture of the egg breaking machine or is it just like a spoon? Is it the tapping one? I'm gonna look it up. Is it the bird that drinks water and you just tip it? It's this. Oh! Huh.

Okay. An Irish silence. Yeah, I did pronounce it funny so that makes sense that you weren't quite sure what I was saying. All right. So that means two points for the house and one point to Nick Mason. Here's question two. This one comes from Kelly Clark from- Kelly Clarkson?

Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clark from- What is she doing right into this show? She's having a break. She's having a break. She can't be singing all the time. She's got to rest. She hosts a show now. Like she hosts her own television show. Right into the show She hosts a show now like she hosts her own television show miss you you've gone from saying This is a really fun good show like what the hell is Kelly Clarkson wasting her time No, okay, I apologize nonsense if Kelly Clarkson listens to this show

I am instantly her fan like if that if this is what she was just like oh my god Everyone look after each other and also tune in to who knew it when that's Stuart. And I'm gonna sing, Sissybigger! I would love her. She's in the room. But no, this is Kelly Clark from Malgamunga.

Kelly Clarkson? We got it back, Kelly Clarkson listens in. From Maylands in Noongar country and Kelly's question is which of these is a real native Australian flower? Which of these are real native Australian flowers? You're just going to come up with a made up Australian flower. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on that word. Irish Scholar, Scholar, Stubbler, Stubbler, Stubbler, Stubbler, Stubbalace, Scalace, Stelopron, and Stelin Verstasher.

For Atlas Obscura, Rachel Rommel writes, in German, Irish Scalce means eggshell, Solbrustalli means predetermined breaking point, and Verst point and means cause Kelly Clarkson listens Kelly Sorry, Kelly. I want you to do German tapes. I want to learn German. You want to learn German from me? You're so soft.

Duolingo should hire Matt to do the German section. It's like, get out everyone. Let's do it. Let's, let's learn some German. Learn German. Yeah, I like it. I could do that for sure. As long as they don't need to know how any of the words are pronounced, then I think

that would be perfect. It's all right. They're written down. You'll just whisper them in. So yeah, according to Rachel Rommel, because of those definitions, there's no better name for a tool designer, a cracker neck shell, at its determined breaking point than an Eier Schellen, Solbush, Sch point than an Eier Schellenbush. The device consists of an egg cap attached to the end of a rod that runs through the

centre of a sliding stainless steel ball. The Kitchen Gadgets package describes the exacting science behind its effectiveness saying, German engineers have calculated the exact weight of the plunger necessary to make the perfect crack without destroying the egg. The 70 gram stainless steel ball takes 0.181 seconds to fall down the 16cm shaft, attaining a velocity of 1.77m per second, exerting a force on the stainless steel bell-shaped part of 0.6867 newtons. This is just the right amount of force to cut a perfect ring

around the top of an egg without damaging the rest of the eggshell. Amazing. Or not, I'm not sure. I mean I can break an egg with nothing but my hands. Wow. I stopped listening when you said shaft. Is that fast? So it was 0.181 seconds to get down a 16cm shaft. That sounds quick. I immediately want one. Yep. Because it just seems like it would make eating eggs fun. There's a video of it. You sort of drop the ball. It would be like celebrating New Year's Eve in New York every day.

Aww. Drop the ball! Three, two, one... Drop the ball! Drop the New Year's ball! Um, yeah, no, it's... I don't know, there's something sweet about it, but they have them as hard boiled eggs. Apparently it's a big part of German breakfasts.

Or soft boiled, maybe. Sorry. Don't want to annoy the Germans any more than I need to. You're going to get a lot of angry DMs. Soft boiled maybe, sorry. Don't want to annoy that. I love Germans anymore. You're gonna get a lot of angry DMs. Soft-boiled eggs apparently in a small cup. That old school, you know that little cup with the... Egg cup? Yeah, egg cup.

Egg cup. Jeez, they've got a... Do you have to say a German word for that? I had a Peter Rabbit egg cup when I was growing up. Same. Oh, that's cute, yeah. And he's got like... What's your mom look like?

What's your dad like? Tell me everything. No, it was like, he was wearing blue. Yeah, and he had the parrot. Yeah, and he stuck out a little bit. Like he was not like... Mine didn't stick out. Oh, mine did.

Mine was recessed. You might've got, yeah, the second volume. You got the cool 3D Peter Rabbit. I think mum got hers, mine from David Jones. My mum loves a David Jones moment. David Jones moment? Yeah, she loves a David Jomo. A Dave Jomo?

She's a Dave Jomo mum. Dave Jomo mum? He's a Dave Jomo mum. I wrote the answer, I forgot number two. Which of these is a real native Australian flower? Kangaroo head flower, brown belly baby booby, the five pointed desert star, hairy flag, flaming gala flower, or the Gundaguy dust devil? They all sound real, and I can imagine every one of them.

Yeah. How do you picture the kangaroo head flower looking? Not a lot like a kangaroo. Almost nothing like a kangaroo. Because it's all excited scientists going, oh, I've discovered a new thing. Oh, kangaroo, kangaroo head, kangaroo head. You're just saying that because there's a kangaroo head

in the room, aren't you, Nick? Nick is the frazzled scientist. I think that's the role you're born to play. Thank you. Discovery. It seems like you don't like your job. No. I'm so stressed.

I hate the wonders of the world. Can't we just be content with what we know? Let's kill it. Let's kill everything. Yeah, just going around discovering things to destroy them. So before anyone finds out, they need to be known. Yeah, that's science. Just anxiously like, oh no, it's another bug.

Oh no, we've got too many bugs. I don't want another bug. Isn't it crazy to think how many flowers and bugs and stuff haven't been discovered yet? That's wild, they're still finding them. I don't get it. Do you think we should leave them? I think we should go find one. Okay, now. Immediately. What are you doing? Get your Peter Rabbit 3D car and I'll get a shitty one.

My partner just messaged me and he said he just ordered a tie for dinner. But I reckon I can just don't, let's not worry about that. Let's go. The tie will keep. Let's discover. Let's time will keep. Yeah. Let's discover a new species of Brunswick bedbug. That'd be great. Yeah. So we can still go to Mish's then. What?

Bit of fun saying your bedbugs. All right. Cass is sure. Were you just suggesting I have bedbugs? Yes, sorry I wasn't. That's fucking rude. OK. I don't know what I did to deserve that. But okay? I'm glad you've established that

we can do that to each other now. Look, it's just that everyone looks like they have a certain amount of bed bugs and in this room you look like you have the most bed bugs. No, that's fair. But it looks like you have some bed bugs. It's fair. Oh yeah. That's all, Mish. We're just saying you look like someone who... Don't be them into it. No one else in this room decided to just be a prick. But while Yes, that's all miss wait, we're just saying you look like

While we've established that we can do that is everyone noticed how much man's to it looks like a fucking Too far We're being honest. I'm the guy looks like he has bed bugs more than anywhere else if we can be honest for a moment I don't have bed bugs I'm very clean go on just speak it was only because the bed bugs and you were saying about your house and the tie no but see I'm sorry but Big Wet caught on because of this show and if I start getting people going like oh now Big Wet's got bed bugs all but it's so fun to say Big Wet bed bugs! Big Wet bed bugs in All but it's so fun to say. It is fun to say. Big wet bed bugs. That's fair. Bed bugs in big wets beds.

Oh, imagine if they were big wet bed bugs. Like they were just real big ones, like the size of a puppy. I spoon them to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. What? Losing control early.

Question two, Cass, you got first dibs here. Do you remember what the options are? No, we started talking about other things. I would love a refresher. Kangaroo head flower. Brown belly baby booby. Do you remember what we what the options are? No, we started talking about other things Kangaroo head flower Brown-bellied baby booby the five-pointed desert star hairy flag flamingo flower or the gun to guide dust devil Oh Wanted to be the hairy flag, please

I would like a hair flag. I'd love to pick a hairy flag. I'd love to give a hairy flag to my beloved. Yeah. Here's a bunch, I've picked you a bunch of hairy flags to show you how much I care. What do you think, Mish? What was the third one? Five-pointed desert star.

I mean, like that's, there's a good shot shot of that or I'm gonna go the kangaroo one I think kangaroo head flower I think I'm gonna go that one because kangaroo paw is a my voice just did something weird a kangaroo paw is a thing hmm I think kangaroo tails I think maybe it's like a Voltron I'm gonna go with the kangaroo head one. But again, we're just keeping it chill. Doesn't really matter. Yeah, keep it chill.

Yeah, I did like the boob one though. Oh yeah, yeah. What was that again? Fram Belly Baby Booby. I like the kangaroo head one as well, but what are our other options? Fram Belly Baby Booby. I'll say that as many times you ask me too.

The five headed desert star, Desert Star, Hairy Flag, Flaming Galar Flower, or the Gundaguy Dust Devil? I'm gonna go with the Desert Star. Yeah, that was, that was, mm. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Gundaguy Dust Devil, that was Maceau. It's fun though. It's fun to think about. It's really fun.

Flaming Galar Flower, that was The House. Nice, very good. Alf Stewart's probably related to me, so it makes sense. Brown Belly Baby Booby, which I thought was gonna get picked by someone. I did too. So did I. That was Mish, that was Mish.

I thought, when I sent that to you, I was like, oh, absolutely, I'm getting a point. I get more of a bird vibe from a booby. Oh yeah, I get bird vibe from booby, but Brown Belly Baby Booby from Big Wet Bed Bug. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Kangaroo head flower. That was Kelly, aka The House. Actually, Kelly wrote kangaroo tail flower and I'm like, that sounds like it could be real. I looked up and it doesn't seem like that might be a real thing. So I changed the head thinking, no one will guess that. A kangaroo head? What a ridiculous sounding flower.

All right, yeah, fair question. Personally, I would have picked the brand, Baby Belly Boobie. That wasn't even an option. It was a close one. Five-pointed desert star. Nick Mason went for that. It was Cass Paid.

The word Cass. Mary and Cass also got the correct answer. It's Harry Flag. We all win now. That's for everyone. That's everyone wins. Yeah, that's Hairy Flag. Yes! We all win now. That's for everyone. Everyone wins. Yeah, that's good. Can we get visuals please?

You know it's only gonna disappoint. I mean, I can. I reckon it's gonna look really shit. But the fact that it's called a Hairy Flag makes me want them. It's a nice looking flower, but it just... Doesn't scream Hairy Flag. Doesn't, no.

Oh. It's nice. It's just a nice Okay. It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. That is pretty. That is a nice flower. Sort of lavender-y. Why have they named it that?

I think it's got like light hairs on it, you know, like a bit of... They're not going Yonek or anything? They being cheeky? Oh, what's Yonek mean? Before I answer. Pussy-like. Oh. It's phallic, but for...

Oh. Yeah. Pussy-like. Pussy-like. Oh, do you think it phallic, but for... Pussy like. Oh, do you think it is? Oh, but flag? Is flag a... I don't know what I'm... Just a hairiness? Cause a lot of things are hairy, Cass. And a lot of flowers look like puss.

And a lot of puss... and a lot of flowers are named after puss. Like a lot of flowers are named after puss. Just another example of the matriarchy. We really are taking over. We really need to calm down. All right. We reached equality years ago, now you've taken it too far. This is now overcorrection. Stop naming all the flowers after your puss. All right, question number three comes from Dean. He says he bounces between Ohio, Colorado and New Mexico and that he's very tired. Okay.

Go get a nap. Go get a fixed address. God. Alright, here is Dean's question. Garfield, His Nine Lives is a 1984 book of illustrated short stories showcasing the nine lives of everyone's favorite funny feline, Garfield. Garfield. Some of his past lives include being a saber-toothed cave cat,

being a hard-boiled detective, and being a lab animal. And Dean says the art in the 2014 reboot is gnarly. But the question is, what happens during his seventh life as a house cat named Tigger? So you just go, there's sort of like these mini stories about his past lives. One of them, he's a house cat named Tigger, what happens in that one?

Do we have a date range? No. Oh, from when this was made. It was made in 1984. Okay, sick. Okay, just some time from the domestication of cats. Yes. So any time in that range.

All the way up to 84. Yeah, not past 84 though. Unless it's set in the future. Oh. That's a good point. He's a space cat. So it could be set in a war in the past. If someone had, yeah.

While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about hairy flags. According to Atlas of Living Australia, Patersonia rudus, commonly known as hairy flag, is a species of plant in the Iris family and is endemic to the southwest of Western Australia. It is a tufted rhizome forming perennial herb with linear to sword shaped leaves and violet tepels. Patersonia rudus typically grows, that's a misspelling of petals, right? Teples, or is teples a word, doesn't matter. Patersonia rudus typically grows to a height of 40 centimetres

and forms a rhizome covered by sticky leaf bases. The flowering scape is 200 to 500 millimetres long and velvety with the sheath enclosing the flowers, lance shaped, blackish, prominently veined and 30 to 63 millimetres long. I'm not understanding any of this. Tapples has come up again, that must be a word. The outer tapples are violet, egg shaped

with the narrow end towards the base. The high pantheon tube is 20 to 30 millimeters long and softly hairy which I guess is where it gets its name. The puss thing. That's very puss. What you just said there. I was only halfway sitting. But that was pretty puss. That was pretty puss. You talking about Garfield? Um, stupid. Alright, so here's question three. Garfield, his nine lives, the 984 book has nine stories about his lives. I'm trying to make it quicker.

Yeah. And I've made it longer. Yeah. Anyway, what happens during his seventh life as a house cat named Tigger? He lives in 1910s Germany where he shoots down at World War One flying a Snoopy. Jesus Christ! Oh no, is that what you say, 1910s? Yeah. Garfield attempts to stop the strikes during the Industrial Revolution so that John will stay at work for more

than eight hours a day. He's scabbing? My goodness. He falls in love with a sweet lady cat living in the back of an Italian restaurant. She gives birth to Garfield, revealing that he is his own father. Oh no! That! Love that. That's really good stuff. A primal force overtakes him, causing him to go feral. He then attacks and kills his owner, an elderly woman.

Oh my god. I don't love that. He sneaks into the duffel bag of his owner, a NASA astronaut, and becomes the first cat in space. Or his family moves next door to a family of aliens that kidnap him. They perform experiments on him to see what cats are made of, only to find a lot of pizza in his belly

Pizza hmm Not lasagna like the cat I know Well, this is this isn't his current life. This is a prior life Well, you know, you might have worked his way through Italian cuisine Six life was all caneloni So I think m Mish, it's your. They're so dark. But there is that Garfield story where I think it's from about this era where he

has a dream where John dies and he's alone in the house and he can't get out. And then he's just like stuck in there forever. Like they got weird. Some of the Garfield stuff. I was waiting for like the, he goes to school and does a little skippity do to the boss. Like that is some dark shit. What is the one where he killed someone?

He attacks and kills his owner, an elderly woman. I think that even pushes it even further in the darkness. Yeah. Can you read? Sorry, if it listens at home, that was big wet. Reaching a final form. I think the one, I'm going to go with the one where he goes feral, where he turns feral. Okay. Yeah.

The darkest of all. Yeah. Why not? Like that's fucking cool. What about you, Mace? Give it to me again, Oliver. You've got shooting down Snoopy in World War I. I don't think it's that.

You've got stopping the strikes during the Industrial Revolution so that John will start work more than I'd asked of him. Alright, could be that. Gives birth to himself. Love that. She gives birth. He's his own father, so. Right, okay. Kills his owner after going feral, sneaks into the duffel bag of his owner,

ending up the first cat in space, or the aliens kidnap him and find his full of pizza in the belly. See, I wouldn't have gone with the Snoopy one initially, cause that's like a copyright thing. But maybe he's just a Snoopy-like guy. You know what I mean? So they're not from the same,

I was assuming maybe they're from the same world or something. I don't think so. They're just the two old cartoons. We didn't have that multiverse concept back then. So, you know. I think it might be the aliens experiment on him. I think I'm gonna go with that.

Lock that in for me, though. That leaves you Cass. I want him to be his own dad. Yeah, I love that. I thought you wrote that. That's why I didn't. Thank you. That means a lot.

All right, well, here's who wrote the answers. The Killing Snoopy, that was the question writer, Dean, aka The Hulse. Well done, Dean. I knew it, they wouldn't have, the estate of Charles M. Schultz wouldn't have made that agreement. It's just be...

Until you said that, I just thought because Dean had written it, I'm like, I guess they're from the same... They both vaguely seem like similar things. No, but if you think of Snoopy's eyes and Odie's eyes... No. Yeah. Oh, I don't think of those. If he had said Odie, that would have been a different fucking story, mate.

Right. Good job. Fucked up, Dean. You've been given notes. Go have some sleep. If he had said Odie, that would have been a different fucking story mate. Fucked up D. Go have some sleep. You need some sleep. Yes, galavanting around these three states and get a bloody job and get a bloody bit of rest mate. Come on. He attempts to stop the strikes as a scab. That was cast. That was fantastic. I don't think Garfield's kind. How would he have done that? How would he have, would he have like killed some union heads or something? Yeah.

So I was initially riding out that he'd crossed a picket line, but I was like, it's too long. Yeah. I imagine he got into the factory and like, maybe he started working and just did some union busting. Maybe he said where John was and he was like, John never comes home. That's how he ended up in that nightmare where he was trapped in the house. There he is. How many Garfields did that man make?

Thousands. They won every day for- You have to do a silly one for him. Like one of them is going to be for you. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And I think it would be that one. This one's just for me. But I think he had a ghostwriter for like, like he's, they still make them. But he stopped doing it years ago, like decades ago.

There was a big controversy for a while there that the woman who wrote the babysitter's club didn't actually write it. And she used ghost writers, but then she sued. And it turns out she did write all those babysitter's club books. Who was she suing? I don't know. Those people were just saying. Liars. Yeah. I don't know. But that'd be great if you could sue gossipers. Over 13,000 apparently Garfield comic strips.

Jesus Christ. So yeah. So there's a good chance that maybe at some point he did go to space in the duffel bag of a NASA astronaut but that was written by Mesa in this case. Oh, you wrote the duffel bag one. I did. I nearly picked that one. Good job. Thank you. I didn't though. No. Oh my God, I might be right.

His family moves next door to a family of aliens, gets kidnapped. Nick went for that. That was Mish. That's one Mish. Very good. I nearly fucked it with the pizza thing I meant to write lasagna. He's eating pizza in the trailer for the new movie so I believe in that. So Cass you went for falling in love with a lady becoming his own father. That was written by Dean aka. Oh he's good. He's back on form. Yeah, that's good. Don't get at home. Keep it up. And finally, Mish is correct. He attacks and kills his owner, an elderly woman. That is insane.

That's horrible. That is horrible. I got so many points just now, and we're back to taking it real serious. Yep. So far, that means two points to Mish, one point to the house. So after three rounds, it's Nick Mason on one point. On two points, Mish and Casper down front

is the house on four points. So question number four comes from Max Massingham from Melbourne. That's a great name, by the way. Very good. Triple M. And Max's question is... While running...

Who said that? I was putting down! I was just setting! Which one of you said that? Nobody said it, Mish. Nobody said it. Nobody said what? That just happened.

We didn't hear anything, only the people with headphones heard that. That was really funny. So Max's question is, while running for governor of Louisiana in 1983, Edward Edwards famously joked, the only way I'm going to lose, finish that quote. His name was Edwin Edwards. Edwin Edwards. Okay. Governor, running for governor of Louisiana in 1983.

You know, around the same dark times as the 1984 book Garfield is Nine Lives. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Garfield's Nine Lives. According to Wiki, Garfield is Nine Lives is a 1984 book of illustrated short stories that showcase the nine lives of Jim Davis' comic strip character Garfield. The book is divided into ten segments. The first one displays the creation of cats in general, where the latter nine reveal events in Garfield's nine lives. Each of the nine stories has a short preface of Garfield in his modern incarnation, and explains how these various lives shaped aspects of Garfield's personality, such as the origin of his fear of the veterinarian, his love of grinning

behavior, his proclivity for a slothful lifestyle and his extremely playful side. The book was later adapted into an animated television special in 1988 and a comic book by Boom Studios from 2014 to 2015. According to Dean, the primal self-story was not included in the animated special nor the 2014 comic reboot. But the lab animal story was... Do we know what that means?

Is that the alien one? The alien one was made up. Oh. While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply.

["Wendy's Theme Song"] All right, we're back. The answers are in, so here is question four. While running for governor of Louisiana in 1983, Edwin Edwards famously joked the only way I'm gonna lose is if my dog eats my wife And it did And he'd lost He caught is like I cannot believe it. I was trying to say something far-fetched

Yeah, yeah, and in fairness, I was looking at my dog eating my wife at the time in the corner there. These are all gonna be so brilliant, because it's just like what politicians say. He's gonna fuck it up. Go on. The only way I'm gonna lose is if I am swallowed by an alligator snapping turtle. The only way I'm gonna lose is if my opponent changes his name to Nedwin at Nedwood's. Nedwood. Love that. Nedwin. Oh my god. Nedwin Nedwoods. Oh the German name. The only way I'm going to lose is if everyone in my team has some sort of horrifying orgy. They did and he did. Horrifying. Yeah a normal orgy fine. Wouldn't rock him. This is the 80s. I think orgies were pretty mainstream back then.

It's if one of the orgies goes wrong, we'll have issues. The only one I'm going to lose is if I tell you about the skeletons in my closet and I certainly won't be doing that. Please don't look into it. Or the only one I'm going to lose is if I'm found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. Whoa! Oh my god! He did and he did. with a dead girl or a live boy. Whoa. Oh my God.

He did and he did both. And he lost. Oh God. Okay. So we're back to Mase though. To kick us off here. I like the snapping turtle. What was the one? The only one I'm gonna lose

if I'm swallowed by an alligator snapping turtle. And he's from Louisiana Where there probably are whatever that is What were the other ones? Sorry that one's that's the one that John dogs ate my wife Pony changed name to Nedwood Nedwood's. Mm-hmm Everyone on my team has some sort of horrifying or like that one, too Unless I tell you about the skeletons in my closet I certainly don't won't be doing that or found in bed with a dead girl or a love boy. I Think it's the last one. Yeah. Oh, that does sound the most politician. No, like what fucking idiots, man. You stupid. Just a funny little quip.

Yeah. He'll wear a little locker room. These days they'd cancel you for that. Making a joke about being a pedophile. Yeah. Or a nec a pedophile. Or a necrophiliac. Or a necrophiliac. You have, yeah, you have seen what some American politicians won't name them because half our audience are big fans, but said some pretty crook things. Yeah. And obviously is really not in politics anymore.

What do you reckon, Cass? I'll go the skeletons in the closet. Skeletons. And how about you, Mish? I'm gonna go to the last one as well. Can I do that? Yeah, of course you can. Cover up?

All right, I'm gonna go to the last one. Mish, even if you couldn't, you're big wet. That's right. I do what I want. A little sloppy and shit. A big wet smite. Yeah, it's dropping. I'm coming your way, Matt.

All right, here's where I think. A damp smite. Oh no, that's the worst kind of smite. Yeah, it's fronting. I'm coming your way, Matt. All right, here's the right- A damp smite. Oh no, that's the worst kind of smite. I'm afraid it's a moist smite. Yeah. I only dry smite, so. A squidgy smite. Here's the right answers.

The only way I'm gonna lose if my dog eats my wife. That was Cas Page. That's very good. Nice. Thank you. You probably thought that was pretty dark at the time. No! That was Cass Page. That's very good. Thank you. You probably thought that was pretty dark at the time. No! Then we had a horrifying orgy.

That was Mish. Really good stuff. Did you throw the bluff in there at the end? Yeah, it's probably the orgy one. That's a classic Mish. That's a classic big wet move. You just got big, and when you fall for it, you'll say you've just got big wedded. That's right.

Nedwin Nedwoods, that was Maceo. Loved that too. Thank you. Do you think me butchering it hurt your chances at all? I think it helped. Yeah, okay, great. The snapping turtle one, that was Max, okay, the house. Good job, Max.

Good, good. I did nearly put alligators into mine as well. Ooh. Cass went for the skeletons in the closet. That was the house, I'm afraid. The correct answer is the only. I'm afraid the correct answer Is the only way I'm gonna lose if I'm found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy I think I've heard that one before the reason that's the reason I went with that one is because I knew that none of us

Would have written that and I was almost certain that wouldn't have written that I think that we're like, yeah. yeah, that is something a big stupid fucking idiot would have said. No to self-trick Mish next time with pedo stuff. You'll never see it coming. That's a point for both Nick and Mish and also the house. Um, that's the problem is Mish, you're getting points now, but the house keeps slipping a point. I don't, whatever. I don't care about the house. I just want to beat everyone else.

The house, it's set up for the house to win. It started off, I'm really good at this game. Basically, I'm going to win it. Then it was, I don't even care who wins. Now it's, I just want to- No, my rule has always been on this game is that I don't care. I'm here to have fun. But if there's a chance I'm going to win, I'm willing to have fun, but if there's a chance I'm gonna win, I'm willing to bulldoze all of you and just, and I, that's when I get, that's when I need to win. I think, is that the reverse of your strategy, Meiso? Currently, cause I'm losing, yes, I'm just here to have fun.

All right. Points aren't even real. Yeah, none of this means anything. Wait, there's a big cash prize at the end there, right? There is, that's right. There is a cash prize. I love changing amount of money. Yeah.

So here's question five, three to go. Isaac from Waila in South Australia asks, in 1882, a patent was filed by Samuel Applegate for a novel alarm clock-like device. Using this cutting edge device how would a sleeping person be awoken from sleep? So 1882, painted for an alarm clock made by Samuel Applegate. How did it wake people up? While you're writing your answers here's some more info about Edwin Edwards. I haven't read this yet so I

don't know if he's a good guy or not but but I've got a funny feeling. Um, Max writes, During his first two terms in office, Edwards developed a reputation for being one of the most colorful and flamboyant politicians in the history of a state known for his unorthodox political figures. Charismatic, well-dressed, and quick with clever one-liners and retorts. Edwards maintained wide popularity. However in 2002 Edwards was found guilty on 17 of 26 counts including racketeering, extortion, money laundering, mail fraud and wire fraud. His son Stephen was convicted on 18 counts. I did not do anything wrong as the governor even if you accept the verdict

as it is it doesn't indicate that Edwards told the press after his conviction. On his way to prison he said, I will be a model prisoner, as I have been a model citizen. From 2002 to 2004, Edwin Edwards was incarcerated at the Federal Medical Center in Fort Worth, Texas. In a poll taken in October 2011, months after he had been released from prison, 30% of respondents named Edwards the state's best governor since 1980 so it was it sounds like it was a good guy just made a joke that probably hasn't aged that well I think at the time was it was very C rated even I was gonna say G rated but probably not actually not C rated sorry oh my god but yet no apparently he's very popular politician

that guy and he was known very popular politician, that guy. And he was known for his quips. Quips? So it was just like an 80s quip. How good's the word quip? Your sensitive 2020-something years couldn't handle it. That's fine. But in 1984 or 3, that was a quip.

Okay? So I just know that. Did he win? Did we substitute one? He was and he was voted recently despite having gone to jail for a while as the state's best governor since 1980. What do you go to jail for? Racketeering. Yeah. For being a big old pit. It wasn't it was racketeering, extortion, money laundering,

mail fraud and wire fraud. Oh, that kind of, just all that jazz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The answer in for question five. 1882, Peyton was followed by Samuel Applegate for a novel alarm clock device. How was a sleeping person awoken from sleep with this device? A shackle attached to one ankle is pulled by a chain

from under the covers and into a pan of water. At the appointed time small pieces of wood will fall from a height onto their face. They unsuccessfully tried to patent the rooster. The device would spark a fuse which would set off a firecracker. The firecracker would be kept in a steel bucket for fire safety. It would need to be replenished after each use. It would release the strong smell of roasting coffee beans into the room, or the clock brews a fresh cup of coffee to be ready at the same time,

with the smell waking the user. If the user does not get out of bed within 10 minutes, the clock pours the cup of coffee onto their users head So we've got The shakuhou them are the same dipping into the water means one could be correct or both could be is the one that's maybe we're all Likely detailed correct. Maybe there's some caffeine addicts in the or is it the other one? Small piece of wood falling under your head, painting the rooster unsuccessfully, the firecrackers, strong coffee smell being released or the coffee

being brewed and then if still not awoken pours on their head. Ten minute old coffee still a bit hot, just warm it actually be quite nice. All these seem plausible, like even the rooster one one like an insane person would try and do that the 1980s as well just feels like yeah what do they know back then yeah learning about laws and patents they're like we can make money off this guy I was an egg do it as a DIY and I haven't they they've painted weird things haven't they doesn't someone own air at the moment? Amazon and my-

I bet they fly first class. Yeah. I'm paying a subscription to air right now. So somebody's getting that money. I don't know. I also like, they had clocks. I reckon both the coffee ones are plausible, you know? I'm gonna go the short coffee one.

Short coffee. Just the stench, none of the heat. Short, short flat what? Short flat. Is that a kind of coffee? A little magic. Also, there's no guarantee it worked either. Like they might be like, well, it pours the coffee on your head. We haven't worked that bit out yet, but you know.

Let's go that one. That last one has a real like Doc Brown and it does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you reckon, Mish? I'm going to shackle. Shackle. Shackles is very late 1800s. Everything we shackle.

Bring back the shackle. Bring back shackles. When you have shackles. Home Improvement Show. We can really dull this place up with just a little bit of shackling. I'm torn between the coffee one at the end. home improvement show. I was like, we could really dull this place up with just a little bit of shackling. Like. I'm torn between the coffee one at the end, makes you a coffee, pours it on your head.

Doesn't mean it works. Or they drop some wood on your head. Cause wood was blend right? Yeah. Some bits of wood, but I want it to be the Doc Brown. Coffee one. What do they call the machine? The, the.

Yeah, it's someone's name. Rube Goldberg device. I want it to be that one Brown. What do they call the machine? Yeah, it's someone's name. Rube Goldberg device. I want it to be that one. So I think it's that one. Locking in Rube. Here's who wrote the answers. The device that would spark a fuse, which would set off a firecracker.

That was Isaac, AKA the house. That also would have been good, yeah. He didn't wake you up. Unsuccessfully trying to paint in the rooster. That was also the house, Saran Jai Manna, I just saw and I said, give us a fake alarm. And that's what he came up with. Very Saran.

Very Saran. Very Saran. Very Saran with his wit, his charm and his joke writing. Jesus. Using out of him. I'm gonna slap that guy next time I see him. Mish went for the shackle one. That was Miso.

Oh, you know your 1800's Shackle. And I'm always thinking about Shacklin. I'm always thinking about Shacklin. Nick went for the Rube Goldberg coffee machine. That was Cass. And Cass went for the smell of coffee, which was Mish. You picked each other. That's adorable and I'm winning.

Meaning Miso was- And I saw my hair to give you a comb or something. Whatever that thing was. Mace are very close to picking the correct answer. Pieces of wood would fall onto their face. Okay, alright. Pieces of wood like tan bark or? Yeah, I think it was like from a primary school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And bits of monkey bars. It's a collapsing playground. It's the plastic from the back of a roll up. All right. Well, our second last question comes from Alison from Toronto in Ontario, Canada. What headline appeared after an incident in Burlington, Ontario on the 30th of August, 2023?

So you just have to write a headline. Or just anything. Like a newspaper headline. Newspaper headline. After an incident in Burlington, Ontario. What was the date? August 30th, 2023. 2023.

And- Oh, that's recently. Yeah. Oh, that is- In Ontario. As well, they're writing their answers. Let me tell you, dear listener, more about the alarm clock.

According to the World Intellectual Property Organization, WIPO, is getting up earlier one of your long running New Year's resolutions. If so, then Samuel S. Applegate and his device for waking persons from sleep, which was the name of the device, will have you covered. A set of small blocks made of quote, light wood, preferably cork,

automatically release and fall into the sleeper's face when the alarm goes off. In a remarkable statement of the obvious, the patent application notes that the blocks upon impacting the sleeper's face quote, cause pain. Now we know what a genuine rude awakening feels like. That's good stuff from Wipo. I could sleep through a face full of cork. Yeah, I'd say cork. Come on. Cork. These days would be screw tops.

The answers are in for question number six. What headline appeared after an incident in Burlington, Ontario on August the 30th, 2023? Canada's Rib Fest removes ribs so it can suck its own fest. Taylor Swift's embarrassing mess-up. Ontario is one of my favorite countries and I can't wait to visit you all soon. Oh okay. A local ice cream store caught fire at midnight and burned for 12 hours Once the fire burned out the store reopened refroze the ice cream and made record sales on their new caramelized flavors That's a massive headline. Mm-hmm modern headlines again. They're bigger than they used to be websites. They're on websites and such

I think that's probably the opposite of shrink flation or whatever big website Is it a shrinkflation or whatever? Big website. The bees are angry. Police warn residents after 5 million beehives fall off a truck in Burlington. What? Million? 5 million beehives? Million! 5 million beehives? I don't know, that didn't even fully

connect to me. Oh beehive! How small are the hives? Oh yeah, if there's five million of them, like you can bend nothing. But I mean, you know, it's probably true because of how crazy it is. You can't write this sort of stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Tirlington in Burlington, supermodel Kirsty scandalizes Ontario with skimpy red carpet look. Whoever wrote that, that is very, very clever. I'm just saying. Canadian journalists. Probably a newspaper writer or a website writer? You need to agree for that.

Canadian journalists are very good. The sub editor's over there. Or finally, money is not so funny when you have none. Ontario's comedy festival claims bankruptcy. Ooh. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

Sounds like a place that would have a comedy festival, doesn't it? Yeah. But not anymore. Not anymore though. I might, am I up? Yeah, but not anymore. I'm although I might Yes, you're up I was so sure it was the first one and then you read the last one and I'm like, oh You thought it was counted as rib first removes ribs. No

What was the second one Taylor Swift embarrassing mess up um that one But now I'm pretty certain. It's the last one. But now I'm pretty certain it's the last one. I'm going with the last one. What was the last one? Money is not so funny when you have noney. That was like a, what was that newspaper? The free newspaper, the MX, used to have in Melbourne. Like some idiot wrote that and it's so stupid,

but it's just like, I feel like that's right because I don't believe beehives. I think the rib one is real I'm gonna go with the last one the comedy festival. Hmm. All right looking that in for Mish. What do you think in May so? I think it's the Taylor Swift one that feels like something like somebody who's been on tour for too long would do Yeah, like what a great country boo Boo and people, you know if somebody came to Melbourne and said, I love what they said, if they said Sydney. Well, no, that happened. Did it? Yeah. When did

that happen? Oh, maybe that's okay. It was, it was, it wasn't Blink-182, but it was like, it was some like good Charlotte or something at Melbourne got up and went, hello, Sydney and lost everyone immediately. That's so mean. they've been on a plane for so long. Melbourne and Sydney are quite similar though, inside a stadium, you can understand how they might be confused, unless they were at, you know, Sydney Harbour, no, they wouldn't have been at Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Yeah, famously in Melbourne. But if they were playing on the Westgate Bridge, for instance, then you'd be like, guys, come on. You're on the Westgate Bridge, come on, iconic Westgate Bridge. Yeah, fair point. So you're going to Taylor Swift. I should say, thanks for calling me out.

It was 5 million bees, not bee hives. Oh, okay. Hold on now. Hold the phone. That's changed a lot hasn't it? Changed everything. Yes. No, I'm not gonna change to that.

Sticking with Taylor Swift. I think so, yeah. Do you wanna? Can you read the headline? The bees are angry. Police warn residents after five million bees fall off truck in Burlington. They fall off a truck they can fly. Hey the difference between flying and falling is... They were sleeping. I'm gonna stick with comedy first. Okay. Thank you. I'll go with the bees. I like falling off the back of a truck because

have you ever been gifted something that's fallen off the back of a truck? No. Really? No, you simply must. You know guys don't... I know the saying, but like literally... Yeah, something falls off the back of a truck for you. That's yours now. Be careful with your next words, Cass. I've put in two zeros and I'm putting in the third zero. I don't want to call the police. Anyway, I'd love some bees that fell off the back of a truck. All right, here's who wrote the answers. Canada's Rib Fest removes ribs so it can suck its own fest. That was The House.

That was great. That sounds like a Tism lyric. So that's, did you write that, man? Yeah, yeah. That's really good. Alison initially asked the question differently, but she mentioned Canada's Rib Fest. I'm like, well, that sounds fun. That gives me an idea. The really long one about ice cream, that was Cass. I missed the part where I said it. I thought it was just what happened on that day. Turlington in Burlington. This is the one that Mish said.

What did you say? Who wrote this? I just loved that. Well, you love Mesa's work. That was my one. That was very good. I thought what rhymes with Burlington? Christie Turlington.

Yeah, it's really good. That was clever. Yeah, that to me, should have was worth a point. Is she still alive? Who knows? Who knows? Write in if you're still alive, Christie.

And you're listening to this. Well, it's Kelly Clarkson's living room, right? If you're in the same room with Kara Clarkson. Yeah, that's it. Money's not so funny when you have noney. Mischief about that was also the house. Very good. I always throw in a bad rhyming one,

because they love it. They do. And like a local paper, like giving the work experience kid a go or something. Yeah. That's special. I love it. And a tortured rhyme, you know, putting noney in there. Give the work experience kid-a-go or something, yeah. That's special. I love it, and a tortured rhyme, you know, putting nunny in there. Give the work experience kid-a-go,

oh, what if the festival is sucking itself off? No, no, take another shot at it. We would let that, no, no, no, try something else, mate. Nick went for Taylor Swift's embarrassing mess-up. That was Mish. Ooh. Ooh. And that means Cass is correct. Topical. The bees are angry.

The bees were angry. Five million bees. Five million bees off the back of a truck. That's where I get my honey, fell off the back of a truck. So a point to Mish, point to Cass and a point to the house. So we're going into the final round now. And the scores, it's interesting. This is truly anyone's game.

Nick's on three points. Oh, it's not really my game. Cass is on four points, Mish on five points, but the house out in front on six points. So it's only three points separated in the whole field and you three have triple points up for grabs in this final round. Oh, that's so great.

And we can pull our points. Yeah, you can pull the points. All the points. Here is question number seven. This one comes from, oh, it's another Canadian one, I think. Is this the movie one? This is the movie one. I love this one.

Movie. It's time for the movie one. This one comes from Matthew Boer from Kalauna in British Columbia. Oh, is that, or is that America? That's Canada, isn't it? British Columbia. No, choose your words carefully. Oh my God.

So Matthew's question is, what is the synopsis for the 2018 straight to DVD? Surfer. Sorry, what's it called? It's called Surfer and then what's the two dots? Colon. Colon. Surfer colon. Surfer colon., what's it called? It's called Surfer. And then what's the two dots? Columns. Columns. Surfer colon.

Surfer colon. Teen confronts fear. Surfer's colon. Surfer's colon. Surfer's colon. Apparently it's so obscure that Matthew says it would even be safe to ask this to Alexi Toliopoulos. So that's-

Oh, cause it's that obscure. Yeah, no. Yeah. If it passes the Alexi test, British Columbia is a Canadian province. Right, while you're writing your answers, here's the article about those angry bees. It was written by Michael Ranger

for the Toronto City News. People in Burlington are being advised to keep their windows closed after a truck lost a load of bees on Wednesday morning. Halton Police say five million bees were on that loose after a truck transporting beehives dropped a bunch of them on Guelph Line north of Dundas Street around 6.15am. Halton Police Constable Ryan Anderson said, I've never seen anything like this. It's hard to avoid using the bee puns, but it is quite serious. We've had some of the people trying to clean up

get stung quite a bit. People in passing vehicles and residents who live in the area were being asked to close their windows. Pedestrians are being asked to avoid the area for the time being. Police said they expected the cleanup to wrap up by 10 a.m. thanks to an overwhelming response from beekeepers. Officers will be leaving some crates behind for

leftover bees to naturally return to. We continue to ask pedestrians to avoid the area and that residents do not approach or touch the crates being left behind for the bees. Read the tweet from that Halton Police. They will be collected once the bees have returned. City News 680 traffic reporter Jordan Kerr was over the scene in a chopper around 8.30am and reported seeing beekeepers picking up boxes of hives as the insects swarmed all over the roadway. I don't know how long it's going to take to corral all these bees, but it could be a while says Kerr. The bees are angry. I've seen a couple of beekeepers getting stung.

Guelph Line was closed in both directions between Dundas and first side road, but roads have since reopened. And that's the first I should say I hadn't read that before I was reading it out, and I'm a little disappointed By the fact the cop said it's it's kind of hard to avoid Using bee puns, and then he didn't use a single B pun. It actually seems like it was pretty easy for you, Constable Ryan Anderson. All right, the answers are in. Final question.

What is the synopsis for the 2018 Straight to DVD surfer teen confronts fear? After posting in an online surfing forum for five years under the pseudonym wave underscore gun, 17 year old David Padge is banned by the admin. He watches as members of the forum wonder where he went and start to accuse him of not even knowing how to surf. David, who has not surfed after a leg injury at 15,

starts competing in local surf competitions and tracking forum members wonder at this members wonder at this new rising star. That's option one. Option two, the young Australian boy watches the ocean waves daily, but has yet to have the courage to get up on the board until one day something special happens. A magic surf board named Finn comes to life

to teach the waves of the waves and the motions of the oceans. That's cooked. I like the phrase, watches the ocean waves daily. That sounds like it was written by a surfer. These all sound very Tim Winton so far. The first one does definitely. Randy, played by Gil McCrissy, is a young genius,

bullied by his peers and chastised by the adults around him. When he invents the internet and finds himself flung headfirst into fame and riches, he is enticed into a life of crime and misdemeanors. Oh, I get surfer, I get it now. Can Matilda, played by Harry Gray, the lovable waitress, guide him away from his newfound darkness, or will Randy be stuck surfing the web of lies?

I don't I don't even know what the real one is. I haven't I haven't read any of these I'm loving this can't wait to find out after a near fatal surfing accident 13 year old sage Struggles to get back on the waves that is until one day mysterious inkfield man washes onto shore. Throughout sage will learn the power of facing fears while avoiding government agents and making a strange friend along the way. Do you think inkfield? Inkfield. Inkfield. Like an octopus.

Like an octopus. But an inkfield man. Yeah. How would you know he was inkfield? I think you'd find out pretty quick. I mean, I'd make it known. Yeah. How would you know he was Inkfield? I think you'd find out pretty quick. I mean, I'd make it known. Were I full of ink, none of you would be guessing. He does add Bic written on the side of him.

Jason, a 16 year old Cali surfer, must face his worst fear, public speaking. With an upcoming presentation in his English class, can Jason impress the class and his crush? Will the crusty teacher give him the surfs up? Crusty? Like a crusty demon. And can he learn some some life lessons along the way from his wise African-American neighbor? Whoa!

Is this is this gonna be like the um That movie sounds awful. Hmm. Wait, I like the question it poses will the crusty teacher give him the surfs up? You know, you've made it as a surfer when you've crusty teacher gives you the surfs up Okay You know you've made it as a surfer when your crusty teacher gives you the surfs up. Or finally, after his father dies as a result of being stung by a box jellyfish, a young boy refuses to enter the water and continue his family's history of surfing and life-saving until he meets his estranged grandfather who teaches him to embrace their shared spiritual connection to nature and the water. These are all Tim Winton, except for the...

Inkfield Man? Yeah. Because Tim Winton is the Inkfield Man. Oh, he is, isn't he? Oh, true. That's true. What year was this movie? 2018.

Pretty recent to considering. So I'll try and do it quickly. So you had the guy with the pseudonym Wave Gun, Wave underscore gun He gets banned from the page and then starts surfing again people like who's this guy? He's good. Then you got young Australian boy watching ocean waves daily Doesn't have the courage to get up on board, but his Fin the magic surfboard then you got Randy young genius being bullied by his peers

He ends up on the web of lies Or no, or that poses a question will he be stuck surfing the web of lies After near fatal surfing accident 13 year old sage struggles to get back on the waves until the mysterious ink field man washes under shore There's government agents and making strange friends along the way They got Jason at 16 year old Cali surfer facing his worst fear public speaking with a crusty teacher give him the surf star Although it's not even about surfing No, he's a he's a he's a 16 year old surfer. Oh, okay Cali surfer or No, he's a 16 year old surfer. Oh, okay.

Cali surfer. Or finally, after his father dies as a result of being stung by a box jellyfish, young boy refuses to enter the water to continue his family's history until his estranged grandfather brings him back. That's the most realistic for sure. That could have just happened. This is, of course, a real movie, but we have some silly ones at times. But direct to DVD.

That's true. Yeah. Hmm. Anyone want to jump in first? I must, must go with the ink-filled man. Yeah. I'm feeling similar. I simply must.

If an ink-filled man washed up on my shore, my life's changing too. I get that. I understand. We want to see the ink-filled man. Yeah. So you're both going ink-filled man? washed up on my shore. My life's changing too. I get that. I understand. We want to see the Ink-Filled Man. Yeah. So you're both going Ink-Filled Man? I don't know yet.

How do you picture the Ink-Filled Man, Cass? Oh, brooding. Is he like, scelty? I think he's hot. I would. I think he is an octopus. Yes. I think the reveal would be that he's like, there'll be a scene

where he takes off his trench coat or whatever, and he's got, and he's like, his arms split into two and then like this. Yeah. He'd be like, yeah. So Mesa just did a perfect impression of an octopus. That was so impressive. It's so sad the camera's broken. Like a merman, but an octo-man.

Yeah, like an octo-man. Yeah, like an octo-man, yeah. Remember Octo-mom? Yes. Like that one. Remember her, she was fun. She still has all those kids. Yeah, she did porn. Okay, those are two very different revelations there.

I don't think it's- How old are her kids now? I don't think it's the Finn one, because it's Australian, and I don't think they've got the budget right to do a magical Surfboard that's what it is So Box jellyfish sting talk back into it the most realistic one in Mishra's words Got the Cali surfer facing his worst fear public speaking crusty teacher. So

Is worst fear public speaking crusty teacher surfed up Infield man was written in a panic I feel And maybe it is real, but I don't want to say it just very quickly the octuplets are 15 this year Wow I Was about to say all of them and of course yes all of them How does that oh Okay, she wasn't just a mum who had eight kids over time. Which would, to me, would be newsworthy. She had them all at once. Octo mum.

That's so many in you. Yeah. You don't even, you don't have room for one. That's like a cat's litter. Do you know what I mean? Oh no, a cat's litter is where they shit, isn't it? No, no, no. Okay, great. Why is it both?

You're right. Is it both? Yeah, you have a litter of cats and then cat's shit in the litter. That shouldn't be- That doesn't feel right. That's not me. No.

No. Wait, Mace, have you guessed? I have not guessed. I don't think it's the surfing the web one. Yeah. Because it sounds boring. Unless it's like an educational DVD. Straight to school DVD. Yeah. And I can't remember what's the surfing the web one. Yeah, it sounds boring unless it's like an educational DVD straight to school DVD. Yeah, and I can't remember what the first one is I also think it's octopus man octopus man. I think it's ink man. I think it's three for the ink man three for the ink man

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers Young Australian boy watches the ocean waves daily Is magic surfboard named Finn comes to life. That was Matthew Bore, aka The House. Matthew Bore also wrote, will the crusty teacher give him a thumbs up? Good job, Matthew Bore. So they were both The Houses ones, so jeez, The House gets no points this round.

So we get all the points and no points at all the yeah Well one of you gets all of the points. Oh, that's true. What if one if one person made this up. Mm-hmm. Did I get? No, they were Get six points Alright alright I'll quickly go this it feels like the Brown Low Medal now that we know who's won it. Anyway, Father dies, Box Jellyfish the most realistic one according to Mish. Well we don't know who's died, we could all be wrong.

Some reason didn't get it. That was Mace-O. The one about Randy, played by Gil McCrissy. The boring one. The one where Randy might be stuck surfing the web, dot dot dot, of lies. That was Mish. That's so nice, I love that touch. Yeah, thank you so much, Cass.

The wave gun, wave underscore gun. David Padge, what a great name, Cass. Great name, is that you? Yeah, that was good. That means yes, you were all correct. Yes! The mysterious ink-filled man That's so funny that I don't know I can't explain it to you. I don't know what that means

I don't have a DVD player bizarre. But you know, I do have a DVD player. I don't have the DVD You don't have this DVD all copies were destroyed. Oh my god. I know what this means Yeah, well, I've got to tabulate the scores, please. Yeah tabulate those scores Tabulate them real good. While I'm tabulating them, let me quickly just read out a couple of brief reviews This one comes from Joe Layden from Variety and he writes a young wave writer is visited from the sea by his presumed dead dad In this amateurish in this amateurish effort That doesn't hold water. Okay, the ink filled man's is Presumed dead dad. Do you think it's an octopus pretending to be him? Maybe I knew there'd be a dead dad involved

There's always a dead dad. I knew it. Kids movies, Disney started it. Yeah, they did And now everyone just has to use it and then I'm afraid cuz my dad died That was John Layden from Variety's review. I'm gonna Google the ink man. While- To see what he looks like. Yeah. John Derringer from Screen Slate wrote,

"'It deserves to be widely celebrated, counter to its panning by Variety's Joe Layden.'" I think he's just a guy. He's like Christopher Lambert. Look at this. Oh my god, bizarre. Sorry, we're back in the room. We're back in the room.

I think a man's just a man. Yeah, I guess he's filled with ink, but it must be revealed at some time. Maybe he squirts out his nipples or something. Oh no, what's this one? You can watch it on YouTube. Okay, great. Okay.

Let's do it. What do you get? Let's get some tie after the show. Right, or? You can watch it on YouTube. Okay, great. Okay. Let's do it. What do you, let's get some tie after the show. Yeah, absolutely. Finally, this one comes from J. Hurtado from Screen Anarchy. Objectively, surfer teen confronts fear is terrible, but it's terrible in the same way that Ivan was terrible. It is tremendous. Ivan Malak?

It is tremendous. Yeah, he was terrible, I reckon. He was a pretty bad guy. He was very bad. In the exact same way that Ivan Malak was terrible, all right. It was tremendous, immense, indefatigable and unique. You may never truly understand it, but you have no choice but to respect it. Do we? No choice, Cass.

All right, final scores. Oh, I love this part. Holy moly. On six points, in equal third, we have Nick and the House. All right. As long as I beat the house, somehow I'm happy. Well, you were equal with the house. In second- Well, you know,

it's a moral victory, isn't it? What are you, the bloody English cricket team? All right. In second place on seven points, it's Cass Page. Meaning out in front on eight points, it's Mish Witropp. Not bad, very good. Big wet, big wet, big wet, big wet. Thank you so much.

Give me the money. Oh, I'm good for it, I swear. Hey, before we get to that, Mish, where can people find you? You've just had a great run at the Comedy Festival. It was a phenomenal run. Are you taking it elsewhere? Yes, Sydney, I'm taking it to Sydney. Awesome.

On the 25th of April, is when I open. Great. For three shows, so if you're in Sydney, you wanna go to Sydney Comedy Festival, you can come see, act like I'm not here. So that's in a, yeah, about a week and a half from today when it comes out. Well, yeah, it's a-

You've got time to buy your tickets up to Sydney then yeah, well that's exactly yourself to Sydney or across time I'll be at Factory Theatre on the 25th the 27th and the 28th at 7 p.m. And Yeah, if you don't live in Sydney, or you don't want to come fair called you can also follow me on Instagram At mish which up on Instagram I have a Twitter I don't use it and a podcast called mission X like was armorama and my podcast mission X leg was armorama No problems. We're cool. No hard feelings. At mishwitcher up on Instagram. I have a Twitter. I don't use it. And a podcast called Mission Zaks Leguizamorama. And my podcast, Mission Zaks Leguizamorama.

Which way do we've all been on? Two of the three. We've got to get Cass on. Got to get Cass. Got to get Cass. Get that general energy on. Geez, that would be a good fit on that pod. Yeah, it'd be a lot of fun.

Me and Saran's Dry Dry is also at Sydney Comedy Festival at the Manning Bar. Oh, when? Are you there when I'm there? I'd love to have people to hang out with while I'm there. I don't fucking know I don't wanna hang out with you That was such a weird, you know when you overstep and someone's like, God, Jesus Christ Jesus Christ I was trying to be on your side but it works either way I think.

I'm tired of everyone here. I'm sick of it. We're there. We all want dinner. From the 8th to the 12th of May. Oh I'll be well gone by then. Oh I'm sorry. So Cass, yes, where can people find you?

In Sydney at Live Pods? Nah, nah, just recording ones. So people can go to the house or the studio? Just come to the home. But if you figure out where we are, please don't. I love putting out a challenge like that. No! All the clues are there in the episodes.

You have to listen to every episode and then drop all the clues. Find out where we were. You'll be able to triangulate it. You'll be able to do it. Absolutely. You can find me on the Sands Pants Radio Network, Shut Up a Second, I think also had two out of three, Mitch, we've got to get you on, on shut up a second.

And then also being hot is hard. Very fun and silly podcast. Mish, we've got to get you on. You are big wet. Well, we were originally, but then I got COVID. Facts. And there's nothing hot about having COVID. You haven't seen me with COVID, man.

Oh, she pulls it off. No one's doing it like her. Yeah, that's exactly right. How about you, Masey? I've got a podcast called The Weekly Planet. It's about movies and comic books and TV shows and et cetera. We love our superhero movies over there. Maybe we'll talk about Surfer Colin over there at some point.

I think you're great. Yeah, I think you should. It sounds meant to ink, man. That sounds like a DC character. Right up her alley. Yeah, yeah. Alright great. Oh did you say anything? You were finished with the end of the German thing. Oh no he's speaking German again!

We love it when Matt speaks German! Thanks so much for listening everyone! Why not give us a 5 star review? Maybe tell your friends if you know anyone who might enjoy this show. And yeah come see us all live if we are live. Nick, you should come to a do-go-on at the comedy festival. Okay. I'll talk to you after. I'm okay.

Okay, excuse me. You sound quite busy. I'm not. Oh wait, no, it's already over. I forget, no, it's done. Forget it. Forget I said anything. Cheers for the...

I think we should all stay in the front row at one of the gigs and just stare. Yeah, I'm gonna go now and just be like, when you're like, question time, be like, why didn't you invite me to do this? Hey, cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Singing to metal is not good on the throat. Were you singing to metal? Well, you know, I was in the crowd yelling along with everyone else. Yeah, that's nice. Did you go to Taylor Swift?

No. Did anyone in this room? No. We are... We're the four? We're the four. It's just us. I think so. I worked it. I was doing a shuttle service. Oh yeah. Wait, were you really? Yeah. Oh, they were very polite. There was a lot of them.

Yeah. Yeah. Apparently everyone, there's a lot of Taylor Swift fans. Apparently it was like just everyone was inundated with glitter and pink and like sparkles and stuff like that, but everyone was really nice. So it was hard to be mad at the mattress because everyone was just so lovely. Yeah. A lot of cowboy boots. Is that a Taylor Swift?

Yeah. She's just taken to that recently. All right. I think she's finished with that a Taylor Swift? Yeah, she's taken to that recently. I think she's finished with the cowper boots now, but she did take to it. She's- Was that one of the eras? Yeah. She's extracted all the value from the Western aesthetic. That's a cowboy slut era.

And now she's in, so she went through her like, folklore churny butter era, and now she's about to pop into this dead poet society foundation or whatever it's called. Oh yeah. Churney Butter era and now she's about to pop into this Dead Poets Society foundation or whatever it's called. Oh yeah. Yeah and like like private schoolboy. Yeah. Yeah right. Except she's a girl. Oh my god. Wow how does that even work? Long socks and blaze. I don't know it's I think the pictures of her that have been released for a new album are just like her like just wriggling about in some silk oh it's a device used to crack oak it's a you know you know when you're halfway through mucking something up going well that's in the bloopers

at the end. It's a devised... Oh wow. This is question one and I... And I at least I got through trying to say the German word. These are English words. Dean's question's longest, here it is. Garfield has nine lives. Hang on, I'll read it as it's

actually written. Garfield. Oh my god it's been Garfeld this whole time? Matt stop doing night podcasts. Yeah. Like stop it. You and this bloke need to have a little nap. I'll give you my bed bug. You can take it with ya. Are you just reading this guy's thing? Garfield? I mean, uh. This is where he wrote all of this. Yep. Wait, I'm trying to... the violet egg-shaped bit? Is that what you think it is? Oh no, the softly hairy... I don't know. I don't think I understand what puss is anymore. I don't know. I don't think I understand what puss is anymore. So a teppel is the segment of the outer whorl in a flower

that has no differentiation between petals and sepals. What are sepals? Seppals. Seppals, teppels, petals? Seppals. Each part of each of the parts of the calyx of a flower SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, SEPPELS, Don't do it. Close your laptop. Let's go home. Yeah, I think that's a good call. Thank you so much. You all right, man? I'm yeah, I'm feeling weird. We got a monster. We got a we got a man's monster energy drink for you, if you want one. Yeah, let's have you.

Let's crack it open. He, Matt walked in with a monster energy drink and said, do any of you drink monster energy drink? I don't know. We all said no. And he goes, he goes oh fair enough and then just put it in front of us Well, because I got first one to crack I went to, I was at a bar I was at a bar at a music festival Which is a cool guy thing to do

And I ordered Two beers And a what I thought was a vodka, a mixed drink vodka for a mate. What do you want everybody else to have? Matt, it's a lot of drinks for one man. All right mate, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot to get you a drink yesterday.

And then, yeah, they gave me the months. I don't know which, I'm guessing it was the vodka when they misheard, but I think they just, they were like, you're at a metal festival. You want a monster. Is there a spirit you don't enjoy? Yes. What's that?

Tequila. Okay. Because of what it does to you or for how it tastes? For how it tastes. Yeah. I don't know why, but it just, I don't know, it tastes gross to me. That's so interesting But yeah, no and and I really appreciate you're the first person

I think I've ever said that to who hasn't said you just haven't had a good one. I'm thinking Well, no cuz tequila's I don't drink really I'm not a big drinker. I only drink at weddings That's kind of my rule good good rule And when like cuz all my friends are getting married at the moment. So I'm drinking a bit and soon I'll just drink at funerals once they all start to die. But tequila is probably my spirit of choice, I reckon. Oh, they do.

I do like a gin. Yeah, I don't mind a gin. Have you had the mezcal? Mezcal? Yeah, I've been given some nice I've tried some nice ones to taste. So people say, now you, now you'll get it. And I'm like, uh, the, uh, the bit that makes them both the same is the thing I don't like. But when you have mascara, you have it with the little, the pineapple juice.

And that's a different flavor. Yes. The new movie. Yeah. Chris Brant's The Voice of Garfield. Oh yes, that's right. And he's also very religious. Garfield's religious? No, Chris Pratt.

Oh no, he's very- He loves church. Like he's whipped on it. Whipped on church. He's whipped on church. Mish, I should tell you, before you say anything you might regret, half my audience is whipped on church

T-shirt it just says I'm whipped on church with who knew it with man It's hard for me now whenever I hear Chris Pratt to not think of how whipped on church Yes, because he is whipped on church. Anyway, I'm so sorry No, what are the things you think of about being whipped on church? Is it like he just loves it? Like you just like his morning and night? Yeah. Like I think he goes like multiple times a week. He preaches it. But he could afford to do anything. Yeah, but he just... I know he could afford to do anything. And the man is going to church, like go to the Bahamas.

Is he going to like fun church? Don't you think... I think he's a Hillsong boy. Don't you reckon if you believe, if you believe in God and that everything... If you believe... Wouldn't you be obsessed by it? Oh, 100 percent. If I believed in God, I everything is... If you believe... Wouldn't you be obsessed by it? Oh, 100%.

If I believed in God, I would be at church right now. I'd feel like if God is real, I want to hang out with him all the time. Yeah, it's his house. Yeah. To me, that makes sense. And then, you know, you've got forever after to live in heaven. But then if you have Chris Pratt money, you could build the world's biggest tower to get to God.

Oh, yeah. You could just climb right up there. Climb right up there. You could just pay him to come down and do a spot at your birthday or something Getting he's you reckon he's got God performing Does but I imagine he got us to sign an end or whatever, no, God wouldn't have to sign it, would he? Chris Pratt has to sign an NDO for God. Yeah. Oh, God's not signing an NDO for Chris Pratt. No.

He's not that powerful. Chris Pratt's famous, but he's not that famous mate. God can just smite. What? God can just smite if anything goes wrong. That is true. He's got the option to smite. Smite, yeah.

I wish I could smite. Who would you smite? Oh my God, such a good question. Who would I smite? Let me think about that. Okay. What are we? Smite, marry, kill, which is another way of saying smite.

I'm still trying to figure, which one of you said triple M? Just tell me. Just tell me. It was me. Was it you? It was me. It was very, very well done. Mish. Oh, then it was me. It was me. That means you? It was me. It was very very well done. Oh, then it was me. That means a lot, Mish. Hey, why are you- I'm removing my smite.

That means you've got a smite left for later. Yeah, you can smite anybody. Yeah, you're taking the smite back. I'm taking it back. That's my smite. I said it funny, sorry. Sorry miss No, I'm so tired tonight. I'm sorry if I'm bulldozing everybody. Hey, I you gonna have tired or not. Mm-hmm That's good. It's just I'm thinking about it now. I'm thinking I'm gonna have tired or not. What are you? I'm gonna talk. Yeah, my partner just went and got some good old tie. What are you going? What are you? What do you reckon? Well, I don't know what he got us I like that he knows me well

We've been together long enough now that it would be are you, what are you? I don't know what he got us. I like that. But he knows me well, we've been together long enough now that it would be really disappointing if he'd gotten something I don't like. I like that the fat noodle sort of. Oh, you're a fat noodle kind of guy. Yeah. I have fat noodles today. Yeah.

It breaks. I take fat noodles quite often. Oh. Oh. Spicy. Yeah. As you were, go on. I like the flat ones. Right, flat rice boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those are Go on. I like the flat ones.

Flat rice boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are good ones. I like all noodles. I'm a noodle kind of girl. I think I meant flat ones when I said fat ones. Are they different? Oh, I meant flat ones when I said fat ones.

The fat ones I'm thinking of are flat. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good chat. What if they're tall? What if we're looking at the dimensions? You think it's spaghetti.

You think it's spaghetti. No, like what if noodles go that way? And so they're actually just really tall. Right. I think he got us a pad thai. That would be my guess. A vegetarian pad thai for sure. Good boy.

He's a Massaman curry kind of guy. So I reckon he would have gotten that because I'm not there to tell him, let's go green. Oh, okay. I'm a green curry or a yellow curry kind of girl. Right. And is Massaman the red one or is that red? Massaman is the peanut based one with potatoes and stuff in it.

I like that. I like all of these. Yeah, they're really good. Whereas I like- Holy shit, what a cuisine. I prefer green because I like a veg heavy curry. Oh, yeah. Whereas Massaman's just like potatoes and peanuts and usually some sort of meat.

But we'll get vegetarian because he has to eat that way because that's how I eat. That's nice. You get to share. Well, no, what he would have done for sure is order some sort of side moment of meat, which he's allowed to have. But I'd love to know if he'd ordered me some sort of side moment. I bet he didn't. What would you take as a side moment a little veggie curry puff yeah veggie curry absolutely I love a curry puff I would have got you a curry puff I love a little a rotty moment yeah I reckon he might there's a good chance he could have gotten a right now I'm

getting so hungry yeah same I'm literally like drooling a bit and a side of eggs you could put in a little machine I'll say it should I drop me this do the run-up every time or do you want me just to the end of the sentence I'd love the run-up I want to act like I'm standing in front of Ed Ed and if it's too much Connor can cut it out in the edits that's fine yeah yeah perfect win. Win-Wins. It's not our job. Oh. Yeah. We just need to be funny and good looking. We're good looking.

Everyone's very good looking. It's such a shame the cameras aren't working. They're all so beautiful. Yeah, it's too hot for podcasting. What I want more than anything is for your listeners to know exactly how attractive we are. Yeah. We're all above an eight and a half.

Yeah. And that's like, that's good. We've got a high floor. Yeah. Yeah. We're all above an eight and a half. Yeah. And that's like, that's good. Hmm. We've got a high floor. Yeah. And an even higher ceiling, which makes sense. Yes. That's right. I don't think it would make sense. Like a big fat noodle. Yeah. Racketeering, I have no idea what it is, but man, it sounds fun. Yeah, I know. It doesn't adjust. For some reason, it makes me think of the Rocket Man or that movie about them. I'm a racketeer. That's what it makes me think of the movie the Rocketeer. Yeah and that's why because it is a close a close word. I don't know how my brain

works is what I was thinking. No, yes, okay. The Rocketeer, a movie I've never even seen. Is there a movie called The Rocketeer? Yes, it was directed by Joe Johnston. Okay. The director of Captain America, The First Avenger. Really? Yeah. Is this real?

The Rocketeer? Yeah, he's got a rocket pack. He's got a fin on his head. Have you seen it? Yeah, it's a food like the nineties. It's good. You're such a nerd. It's fun.

It's fun. It's based on a comic book. Of course I the nineties. It's good. You're such a nerd. It's fun. It's fun. It's based on a comic book. Of course I've seen it. You love comic. Did you know that about him? What? Nick Mason loves a comic.

I didn't know that. Yeah, it's so weird you didn't know the Garfield question. It's not a comic book. It's a comic strip. How dare you? How dare you? P-tip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip. Stop spitting on cats. P-tip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pip, pipp-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- I dropped it all over myself and it went right into my lap. And the first thing I thought of is that pissing yourself would feel great.

It was so comforting. I was just so instantly warm. And it's like, you know how, like if your hands and feet get cold, it's like really, really hard to warm up. I think crotch is like a really good one to just get you really warm, really fast. Oh, I had a different experience. I was quite afraid of third degree burns on my my nuts I was on a plane and it was a freshly poured cup of tea

Who dropped it? I was just no I did it. I was getting a bit delirious. It was like a flight to LA And yeah, no, okay. So you've been to LA we get it man I've been to LA I we get it, man. I've been to LA, I've got hot tea, I'm a nuts. We get it. Classic frag. Yeah, it must be nice. It's a tea industry thing, you guys might not understand. Must be nice to have hot tea nuts. I just forgot it was there and then I got up and just knocked it almost instantly.

Did you spill it on someone next to you as well? No, just straight hit the bullseye of my lap. How do you knock, how do you stand up, knock something away from you and... Yeah. On purpose is the answer. On purpose. Reverse teabag. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But also plain tea is scalding.

Yes. Did you burn your nuts? I was worried. It was very red. I went to the bathroom. I was like, it was the start. I had 10 more hours or whatever on the plane. Did it hurt?

I don't know. We get it, you're kind of long-holes. It was, yeah. Were you in an aisle seat? No, I was in the middle. Oh, okay. Oh, no, I was not in the window. It's nice that he's kept humble, I suppose.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was brutal because I was in like the middle seat and a friend has given me a thing so that I can go into the lounge and stuff. He had like a spare thing and it got attached to my Qantas thing. But it meant I'm sitting in the cheap seats, right? But they sent a concierge type person up to me and say, sorry, Mr. Stewart? I said, yeah. And they said, well, let me talk you through the flight. I'm the nuts guy often What happens all the time?

Talk me through it and everyone else around must have been like it's so weird to get first-class treatment in the cheap See, yeah, it's like this is the worst of both worlds. You just might I wish you would stop So if you if you didn't have that tag somebody just come up to you go get over it Yeah, I just this is a genuine question. I'm so sorry. I've just never thought to ask this. Has anyone here flown first class before? No, no, I never.

Fuck. We're the only ones. We didn't go to Taylor Swift. I'd love to know what happens in first class with the whole like, and this is the, this is what we do now. Like, you know, put your life vest on and do they do the little dance for the people in first class too? They have to, right? Or are they just like, you don't need to know?

I think the closest I've been is... We'll save you by carrying you ourselves. You've all got parachutes, it's fine. Your money will save you. It breaks off and it's another plan. We've got a separate engine for the first class. Yeah, the safety presentation is for when we jettison the back. We took all the little moments, notice.

But I think the closest to first class I've been is exit row. You know? Sure. Have you ever been in that? Oh yeah, that's the first class. I've never been in that. I've never been in that. I've never been in that.

I've never been in that. I've never been in that. I've never been in that. I think the closest to first class I've been is exit row. You know? Sure. Have you ever been in that? Oh yeah. That's the poor bitch first class. Yeah, it's a very, it's the tiniest step forward. Yeah.

But I'm not, not business class or anything like that. Oh, you know what? No, I got upgraded to a business class one hour flight, like to Sydney. Beautiful. They give you like, the glasses are glass. I mean, I was, you know, I couldn't, it was still very much a plain seat. The plain seats were made out of a different material. You know how sometimes when they try and make a car fancy like, Ooh, leather seats.

You're like, you, you've not really done anything. Have you? So it's a bit spongier and the glasses are made of glass. Great. And when you get given your food, the food isn't in a little box, it's on a plate. Nice. But it was, you know, I was like, Oh, can I have the quiche? And instead of being like quiche in a box, it was like quiche on ceramic.

I'm like, Ooh. And it costs so much more. It can't be worth it, especially for an hour flight, I suppose. Oh my God. No, yeah. I was just trying to use points up and that was the only flight I had. I'm not having to go on you, but I'm saying like, generally speaking, you go. Oh, no, that's what was just trying to use points up and that was the only flight I had. I'm not having to go to you but I'm saying like, generally speaking you go.

If you're listening to this in your work for an airline, prove us wrong. Prove it's not but give us some up-go. Give us four first class tickets anywhere and we'll go. I have never wanted anything so much in my life as to being like, when I fly first class, that's like a big bucket. They can crash the plane. Like when I fly first class, that's like a big bucket. And I know it's so stupid. They can crash the plane. Yeah, 100%. I know it's stupid, but to me, that's success.

I can already picture you with big sunglasses and like a silk scarf over your head sort of thing. I would play the part perfectly. I just have to know what happens in there. And you're smoking one of those really long cigarettes with a holder on it? Oh, absolutely. And you're calling everyone darling? Yes, absolutely.

And like snarling at all the pov bitches. Here's your individual quiche, Ms. Wet. Oh my god. I would love a... I want an individual quiche. I want someone to call me Ms. Wet. We've got a different different bucket lists I guess. You know, I, not specifically like what happens in there.

I want to know what it's like to hit turbulence lying down. I feel like it would be like rocking me to sleep. Without a doubt. I love turbulence. I just want to be rich. Is that so much to ask? No, all you need to do is get paid more. We're just making conversation now because Matt has chosen to get up and move away from

his microphone. Thank you. This is what the poor class is like. If you beat the house, life changing money. That's true. Life changing money. I've beat the house before on this game. That'll be known.

Yeah, that's right. For the little corners of a supertubper so the kids don't joke with themselves. How good were roll-ups? Oh my God. My mom never got them. How did you eat them? I stole them from my people. No, no, no.

Like rolled up. Oh, like how did I eat them? Oh, okay. I would roll them into a sphere. Oh yeah. All in one. All in one. Yeah.

Or I would savor them by like stretching them out really, really far and then just kind of suck on it, gum on it a bit. You could really make a meal of them. I've never had one. You look like the kind of kid that would have loved a roll up, Matt. I'm sorry, but truthfully. Deprived.

Do they still make roll ups? Must do, yeah, surely. Yeah, surely. I don't know what the, yeah, we're- They're probably healthy now, they've got fruit in them or something. I think the- Actual fruit.

The coolest one I had was like the Uncle Toby's Choc Chip Musi bars. Remember those? Oh yeah. I went for the Yogurt Top ones. Those were the mums my mum got because she thought they were healthier. Yeah.

They definitely weren't. But yeah, she was like, no, must be Yogurt Top. You're getting, you're so chubby. Yogurt will fix that. Yogurt will fix that. Yogurt, yeah. Yogurt's like, it is just fat. Yeah, it's pure fat. It's very fat, yeah.

It's got the bacteria all over it. Yogurt and oats. What we used to think was healthy in the 90s, it's so funny. It's crazy. Like I thought juice was healthy until quite recently. And some of like, no, that's the, all the goodness of the fruit is sort of taken out

and it's just the sugar part. What you want to eat is just pulp. Yeah. Just a big cup of pulp. Eat the rest. Yeah All right I don't know why I've set up a show where I like a really a bad anxiety sort of thing is like built into it Where there's a period where I'm talking and the rest of the room are on their phones

I've designed it that way. That's good. Every week you get braver. Yeah. You know you can't be brave unless you're actually scared so that's you know really nice. Man I'm gonna eat some Thai food tonight. Oh my god I can't stop thinking about it. Not a good night. You read the lines one of them's like someone eats a lot of Thai food not a good night to be a roti bread or a reconcile their funny fucking roti bread fuck now welcome to my time fucking idiot make it so I know that's all yours in there you got a first-class ticket all the way down to my guts it's kind of fun I normally don't have a croaky voice this is pretty fun talking down here I might just keep it up for a bit

while you're all looking at your phones just amuse myself oh if I could paint a picture for the listeners you keeping this may sound cast very serious mish mish is Thinking about writing, bro. Mish is thinking about dinner, but also looks like she is finding what she's writing quite amusing. The funniest one, then, is it? No, it's not that it's really bad. Oh, no, the pedo one. But I've committed now and I'm done, you know.

Enjoy this, Matt. I'm admitted now and I'm done, you know? Enjoy this, Matt. I've just fully copy and pasted Matthew Bore's answers. I've not read any of the answers, including the real one out before. So you know how you normally read me like a book? Mate, so you can't today. Wow. My face won't be able to tell you anything.

Does anyone want to play poker in the future? Oh yeah. Not understand the game? Actually, game actually that's you just be there gone well this card I'm not gonna tell you what that one is. Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you what this one I don't even know I haven't even looked I haven't even looked at him. I could have a winning hand I don't even know I don't know but I'm all in Oh All the answers are in no they are not. Oh no. Sorry. Sorry. What I thought was long enough to be a synopsis was your answer for the headline question.

My god. Sorry about that. That was just a genuine thing. Did you like mine? I haven't, I'm not reading them. Oh. Do you think I, do I need to? No.

Are there any words in there you think I might stumble upon? No, you're fine. Well you've seen me stumble upon some pretty simple words today. Yes that's very true. Like that German one, do you remember that? Yeah, that was a simple word. That was an hour and 50 minutes ago. you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull-apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply.