Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 86 - Wil Anderson, Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Wil Anderson (Question Everything, TOFOP, 2 Guys 1 Cup, Wilosophy), Jess Perkins (Do Go On, Triple J) and Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hello there, it's the titular Matt Stewart letting you know that I'm gonna be in Sydney, Australia and then Brisbane, Australia Doing short runs of my show Dryer Dryer, Sydney from the 8th to the 12th of May Brisbane from the 16th to the 19th of May. Hey, but also you might not know this I'm doing a live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart in Sydney on the 13th of May and in Brisbane on the 14th of May Holy moly, am I looking forward to these shows. Please get tickets for all of these now if you use the discount code do go on that might work I'm not sure but worth a try. Really hope to see you there Sydney especially please come along Brisbane also though you're buying tickets earlier better Sydney lift

please. Alright I'll see you soon now on with the show. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Wanna join a film club? Talking about films that you actually wanna watch. Well, then look no further cause we are Frank Film Club with me, Maisie Williams. Want to join a film club? Talking about films that you actually want to watch? Well, then look no further, because we are Frank Film Club with me, Maisie Williams. And each week we watch a film and then come together and obsess over it, or sometimes

absolutely slate it. Just don't expect any snazzy references to really old films because we don't really do that. Not seen them, sorry. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first two guests are my co-hosts on the Do Go On podcast.

It's Jess Perkins and Dave Warnocky. Hello. Hello. Our third guest is Comedy TV Radio and podcasting legend, Will Anderson. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, do go off. That's what I say. We got a joint intro. Yeah. And

we have other stuff we do sometimes or in the past anyway. Yeah, but you are more known together than you are apart. That is true. That is true. You know what I mean? You're a combo deal. People love that delicious combo. I never get recognised in the street unless I'm with Dave. You know what I mean? It's like hot chocolate and marshmallow, both going by themselves, but you whack them together and then suddenly you've got yourself a winner, right? Yeah, okay. You're right.

You're the marshmallow to Bob, I reckon. Yeah, that's fair. What, the bit that's not good by itself? Yeah. Yeah. I'm always good. The bit that some people say, actually I don't, I won't have that bit.

Oh my God. Maybe just one. Yeah. For the nostalgia and then you have it and go, no. That wasn't as good as I remember. I don't want I won't have that bit. Oh my god. Maybe just one. Yeah. For the nostalgia, and then you have it and go, no. That wasn't as good as I remember. I don't want to derail this early on, but there's a reason I ask this, a very specific reason. Because it turns out that I discovered recently that,

you know when you have believed something all your life and then suddenly one day someone says, no, that's not true, and you have to actually think about it for a second and you realize, oh yeah, that probably isn't true. Yeah. Do pink and white marshmallows taste different to you? Oh, no. Oh, my. In my mind, they do. Because I would have thought yes. Yeah.

Like a strawberry-esque. Yeah. Vanilla-esque. You know why? Because it's pink and your brain is just making that up because they taste exactly the same. Oh my god. Well don't tell me strawberry milk is just regular milk. That is a bit devastating. Yeah. You're right. Yeah, you're right. You can get flavor. I've done some deep diving into this since I found this out because I was like, I had looked for evidence that I wasn't wrong. Yeah. I did the real confirmation bias thing where I suddenly realized I've been thinking

or so they were wrong, because I was in that camp that they were two different flavors. They were different. And then I found out that they weren't. And then I, the amount of marshmallows I ate, so I tried to see if I could discern. Black hole test. I did do a blind test on myself.

Like, I closed my own eyes and mixed them around and then did a blind test. And then I was like, alright, Will, what do you think that one is? Great question, Will. I think that was a white one. So yes, I've done a deep dive. They can be flavoured because I think some people have leaned into it now. But in general like the ones that Yeah, they're all the same all the same that Wow amazing Anyway, thanks for having me Who knew it? I didn't know that either. I think we're blind minds out there

So the way the show works is ask relatively obscure trivia question our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer I then read their answers as well as the real one and have to guess which one is correct. The first question comes from listener Siraj from Macau and Siraj's question is what does the Cantonese phrase Yut Dam Sa Tung Yut Dam Si mean? Should double check, do any of you speak Cantonese? Fluent. Oh, okay. This one should be pretty straightforward for you.

This is great, right on my alley, so I'm very happy about this is the first question I've got to say, so just run me through it again so I get the exact translation. Yut Dam Sa Tung Yut Dam Si. Has Siraj given this to you phonetically? Yes. All right. I do speak Cantonese and that is not correct.

Well, yeah, you have to be phonetic with him. And who described it as an expression? A phrase. A phrase. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. You know, like, yeah. Yeah.

Um, while they're writing their answers answers I'll explain how the scoring works. You get a point for each fake answer of yours that's guessed by another contestant, another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way I'm also playing as the house. I've put into my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and that's why in the third round the guests get triple points to even things out a little bit anyway questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a

question sign up on any level by patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes Just LinkedIn the show notes. Just a little chuckle to herself over there. That was a good song. Although it's no guarantee. Sometimes Jess is pissing herself writing a question and I read it out and go, okay. You thought this was funny.

In this case, it's more just, um, I'm surprised at myself that this was the first thing I thought of. Okay. You know, I'm sort of like, okay. Am I ashamed? Maybe. Should I be? Probably.

Did you get a message from me, Matt? Oh, it'd be so good if it went somewhere else. Because, well, this is the first time I'm sending you a message. Yes, I got it. Yeah. By this application. That's some wild phrase. It would be real tough if that was the first thing that went to a different match to it.

Once you hear what the phrase is, you're going to be like, okay. I mean, it would be a tough first one to just send out to the blue to somebody. And then go, sorry, wrong number. This very accurate Cantonese translation. All right, answering for question number one are in. What does the Cantonese phrase, yut dam sa tung yut dam si mean? Never touch an angry short man.

A wise man is an unhappy man. A mouth full of sugar and a mouth full of feces. Wow. The man who smelt it has in fact dealt it. Excuse me you can't park there, excuse me it's reserved. Or don't whack your yak in the crack or I'll be back. Wow, okay. I think what the best one to randomly receive from Willem is this. Yeah, I think that last one's pretty amazing. Do you want to have first crack, Dave? Quickly, just one more time, please.

Never touch an angry short man. A wise man is an unhappy man, a mouthful of sugar and a mouthful of feces. The man who smelt it has in fact dealt it. Excuse me, you can't park there, excuse me. It's reserved. Or don't whack your yak in the crack or I'll be back. Some of these, you know, the translate direct translation probably loses some of the wisdom in it. Yeah, I guess I don't know.

I feel like maybe because I've got marshmallows on the brain now, but mouthful of sugar. Yeah, mouthful of feces. That I think I'm gonna go with that one. And what do you think that would be sort of meaning? Oh, I don't know, like candy's bad for you or something like that? Right. Oh, I see. Like you have too many of those lollies, it's bad.

Oh yeah. You know, it's like eating a bag of shit. So said the old wise person. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What do you think, Will? I think wise man, unhappy man. That one was sounding pretty good too.

And honestly, it's just really self-serving because it means that if I got it wrong, you know what I mean? It works out either way. I feel like that is the answer. Yeah. Yeah, that's perfect. That's like when I put money on Collingwood winning the 2010 Grand Final. Yes, right? Win-win.

Win-win, unless it's a draw. Or lose-lose, kind of, I guess. Yeah, oh yeah. Is there any chance this is going to be a tie? And two of these answers are correct? Isn't that going to be the best start ever? And Jess, what do you think? Well, they've taken the two that I was leaning towards.

Which of course you can also take. I know. I will also go for mouth full of sugar. Mouth full of sugar, mouth full of sugar. I think so, because I am playing mind games. I'm thinking like, why would Siraj suggest it? We know Siraj. I know how his sick little mind works.

Oh, right. Yeah, you know Siraj. Yeah. Okay. Extra advantage. Didn't realise it was like this. Oh yeah. You right, yeah you've got extra. Yeah. Okay. Extra advantage. Didn't realise it was like this. Oh yeah. You've got the insider knowledge, that's right.

Yes. Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. All these questions are gonna come from your community. This is like a rigged game. Our community are little freaks. We know these f***ing lines. You'll know each other's back to front. I see them now all here on the walls.

The little pictures you have of them. They contribute to your Patreon. The red string that connects them. They listen to both shows. They're in the premium category. Exactly. Siraj, he's a particularly supportive supporter as well. He's seen my show with Siraj so far three times, and he doesn't live in Australia.

OK. I once did at the end of a and he doesn't live in Australia. Okay. I Once did at the end of a family holiday. It was in I was in London. I thought well, I'm here I'll do one of my live book cheat podcast just a one-off Siraj was there. Yeah, you made it all the way there for the hour show I mean this feels like a man who does not live by the phrase that a mouth full of shit not live by the phrase that a mouthful of shit is the same as a mouthful of shit. Here's who wrote the answers. The message that we'll potentially send to a random person. Don't whack your yak in the cracker or I'll be back. That is the best one to send to someone. Imagine doing that.

It feels quite threatening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have they seen me whacking my crack in the back? No, what does he mean by that? Excuse me, you can't park there. Excuse me, it's reserved. That was the house. I like it a lot.

The man who smelt it has in fact dealt it. That was Jess Perkins. That's why she was snickering to herself. That's the first thing I thought of. It was good fun stuff. It was a bit of fun, yeah. Never touch an angry short man. That was Dave Ornike. That's right.

That's good advice. A wise man is an unhappy man. Siraj himself wrote that one. Oh! Meaning the correct answer is a mouthful of sugar and a mouthful of feces. Oh! Oh!

It's just one of the, you know how there are phrases in every language where when you translate it into English, you go like, what the fuck does that mean? There's a plenty of English phrases that make no sense. But yeah, mouthful of sugar and a mouthful of feces. Sure. Yep. Yeah. And I think it makes sense. I think it's...

So run me through the expression one more time, just because I've said it so many different times in my head. What is the actual expression? The Cantonese version? No, the translation. Yes, the translation. A mouthful of sugar and a mouthful of feces. And I, yeah, I had to, I had to, it was hard to find much information about this on English internet.

A mouthful of sugar. And it... Is it referring to two separate people? Because you can't have your mouth full of both. Wow. You've got your mouth full of sugar, Jess is full of feces. Yeah. And then we kiss. Wow. You've got your mouth full of sugar, Jess is full of feces. Yeah.

And then we kiss. Yeah. It seems like... Maybe is it like a mouth full of sugar as in if somebody's saying that everything is going to be okay, that they also have a mouth full of shit as in like they're full of shit. So if everybody's always telling you this is the best, you're the best, everything's great, they've got a mouth full of sugar, it's too good to be true. I think that they're actually, have I cracked this?

I think that sounds- Three bites! I think that sounds pretty close to me from what I understand. Siraj said that it's, because it's Macau, do they speak Cantonese? Like maybe, because that's where he lives. He said, it's basically the Cantonese for a backhanded compliment and that you're feeding me a bit of sugar

but also a bit of crap. Which I think is pretty much what you're saying. Cause I messaged him like, I'm finding nothing about this. Am I, are you making a fool of me? I'm like, you're not taking a piss here. And he's like, no, that's a real saying. Cause I'm like, is it like carrot and the stick or something. And he's like, no, that's a real saying. Cause I'm like, is it like Karen and the stick or something?

And he's like, no. All right, question two comes from Helena Kirk from Birmingham slash the, Hey, I Love That Movie podcast, which I was on a while back. And that you might remember her different name, Helena Kirk, she's married now. There's a little note there. Yeah, we met her in one of the series.

So again, well, you're on the back foot again. Dave has met the second question writer as well. All right. She's been on the show. She's been on this show? Yeah, wasn't she on the show? She has been on the show. She was on the show, yeah.

We did a live one and she was the scorekeeper. Well, this is just the inside of trading now, isn't it? In my head, that was a little cheaper. Sorry, Will. No, that's right. Matt also sent us the questions in advance. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eleanor's question is, which of the following is a real breed of pigeon? Ooh. So you just gotta come up with a made up pigeon breed. Pfft.

That's a good one. Yeah. I'm not gonna write the thing that just made me laugh. I just want you all to know that. She's playing the game now. I don't know. I'm not laughing at herself. No, I did laugh at myself. Did you?

I was concentrating too hard. Nobody listens to me. I'm not laughing at myself. I laughed and then I said, I'm not writing the thing I laughed at because it was very silly. Too silly. Okay. Well, mine wasn't silly because I

now realize I have to take this game seriously. That's right, correct. I came in having a bit of fun at the start sharing marshmallow facts thinking we're all here for a bit of a group hangout Nah, we're not here for friendship mate, no. Now I realize that I've been leidy in like some dinner for idiots situation. We're here for blood. Alright, hit the answers Marine. I'm serious now. You're getting Gruin Will. Comedy Will's gone. Wait, that's you serious on Gruin? Yeah. What are you talking about? Pretty lighthearted show. Yeah, you look like you're having a good time. That's me serious

You know, it's your version. Yeah, that's pretty good My serious is a little more serious. I'll do it now Which of the following that's good actually is a real breed of pigeon. Oh, it feels like a unite science teacher I don't know. It's not the start of law and order. These are yeah. Yeah lighten up actually two different pigeons It sounds like the start of Law and Order. These are the stories. Yeah. Yeah, Light and Up actually. These are your options. There's two different pigeons. Alright, here are your options. Barata Frittata pigeon.

Glanicus McGratholog. The Snow Queen pigeon. Old German nun. Grey flustered business pigeon or two timing Michael. One of these is a real kind of pigeon. Okay, can we have them again please? Burrata frittata pigeon. That's good stuff. Glanicus mographolog. Yep, that one feels that's where I'm leaning. The Snow Queen pigeon, old German nun, grey-flossed business pigeon, two-timing Michael. I think it's your turn, Will, to have first crack. Alright.

What a serious Will thing. Yeah. I'm leaning towards Glenicus. And then you log. leaning towards Glenicus. I'm gonna say old grey nun or whatever that one was. Old German nun. Old German nun. I like that too. There's someone in the Glenicus, because Glenn McGraw, the cricketer, as you would know

Jess, his nickname was the pigeon. And sometimes scientists do fun. Ah, yes. Oh, they're fun. So it's not as funny as it might have sounded. Well, all right. I what was the flustered one? Grey flustered business pigeon.

That can't be true. The business ruins it. I think. Why? Grey flustered. Sure. Yeah, but in the business district pigeons are often in the CBD. Might have a feathered breast that looks like a tie. Yeah, that's pretty cute. And maybe it has a briefcase. Well all the others were dumb, so I'm going to go for flustered business pigeonigeon. Okay, look at that, it's Jess. Okay, the

Glanarchist's McGratholog. It did sound like you were trying to defend your writing. I'm talking about you. So I'm gonna rule that one out. I could defend all of these. Okay. Name any of them. Name the ones that haven't been picked yet, remind me. Bratata, Barata Fratata Pigeon.

That's a pigeon that lives on fratata's in the Barata region. Okay, that's good. He's really good at this. Snow Queen pigeon. It's got a, it lives in the snow. It's the most snow dwelling pigeon. And has a crown.

That's the most real to me. Old German nun just looks like it's a nun. It sort of looks like it's got a habit on. And two Tommy Michaels. It's just a real prick. Yeah, okay. And Two Timing Michael is just a real prick. Yeah. Just a dog of a pigeon. Yeah.

Two Timing Michael. That was just one specific pigeon. Yeah. So. Well, I think I'm gonna have to go with Barada Fatata. It was the best explanation. That was the best explanation. That lives in Fatata. Really?

From the Barada region, which of course I know where that is. Exactly. Sure. Yep. All right, well here's where I wrote the right the answers to timing Michael. That was Dave Warnock Snow Queen pigeon that was just Burkins. It felt too real. That's kind of the point. Yeah. Yeah If I could only have one note Jess, that one felt a bit too believable on the aim of the game. Glanicus McGrathalock. Yes. That was Will Anderson. How was my pronunciation there? Yeah perfect. Exactly how I imagined it in my head and exactly what you said was what I was going for.

That was exactly what he said. The idea that they might have, because his nickname was pigeon, some nerdy scientist might have named a particular pigeon after Glen McGrath. That was my theory. That's good. Because I think we've had one in the past where a beetle, like they did the same thing, they named a beetle the Paul McCarthalios or something. Right. Bit of fun. They're fun.

Scientists are fun. Scientists are actually really fun. Fun people. Bratata, Barada, Fratata pigeon was Helena, okay the house. Gosh, that felt so real. Felt straight into that trap. I made it up, there's no burrata region. What?

Or there might be, I have no idea. There probably is I guess. Grey fostered business pigeon. You can't call that cheese burrata because it's not from the burrata region. Grey fostered business pigeon was also the house, meaning, Will was correct, old German nun. Wow. Wow. What a weird looking pigeon. They, yes. That's how Grune Will comes to play. Yeah, that's right. Straight in. So serious.

Can I look it up? Please look it up. What's it called? Old German Nun. Old German Nun. German Nun. Yeah, it really does. I have to add pigeon, otherwise I'm going to get different type of photos. It really does look... Like an old terminal? Uh, I guess so.

You know, it sort of looks like it's wearing a habit. Yeah. The colouring. That's a cool pigeon. It's got a cool pigeon. I like it. It's got a very crisp white body, but then a black or brown face and tail. Some real Hey Hey It's Saturday vibes.

You know what I mean? Some real Jackson drive. It Saturday vibes. No, no. Some real Jackson Jive. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's known in Australia as the Jackson Jive pigeon. Christmas Lilicus. And it was embarrassingly recent. Both counts, yeah.

That Harry Connick Jr. went, you can't do this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, question number three. This one comes from Nick Dennis from Edders in Pennsylvania. Confident you haven't met Nick. Nick Dennis. No, we actually go way back. He's my cousin. Oh, okay. Well, there you go. He's my accountant. Oh, boy, he is. He's my dentist. So it's weird that he has... Oh my God. He does both. Yeah. It's a small town. That we all live in. Podcast land.

Pennsylvania. We all have our little houses. So Nick's question is, sometimes movies are retitled for different markets. What is the English translation of the Japanese title for Fast and Furious from 2009. Not the original, the Fast and Furious, I think it was like the fourth one, Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious. So it was translated into Japanese and then we translate that back into English. Yes. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about old German nuns. This is from Wiki and I understand nearly none of the words in it, but just like the way it sounds so here it goes German nun or the German Deutches nunchen is a breed of fancy pigeon bred by German pigeon fanciers

Pigeons of this breed have a perfect body posture a lordly air and a high carriage Jesus Christ, I know. They don't want to fuck this pigeon. Whoever's writing this is rock hard. Oh, a perfect posture, perfect. The breed is substantial and viable. What are you talking about? And virile. The birds have a specific feathering pattern, where the coloured feathering can be black, red, yellow, coffee, brown, ash grey, light blue or silver and the colouring must be deep and even.

Birds of a medium size have a round, narrow, dry, elongated high forehead. They have eyes of medium size which are lively and expressive. I feel uncomfortable. Is this how all birds are described if you look at what the weirder has written about? Maybe, yeah. Makes bird watching feel more like creepy, doesn't it? Is this how all birds are described? If you look at what the weirdos are written. Maybe, yeah. If yeah. Makes bird watching feel more like creepy, doesn't it? The way they describe them.

Yeah. Like, you know, there's always those memes on the internet of like what male fantasy authors think women like, you know, like that sort of thing. It always feels like that. You were just like someone writing about that bird. I was like, they want to fuck that bird. Absolutely. I was just like, someone writing about that bird. I was like, they wanna fuck that bird. Absolutely.

I think they're the ultimate peeping Tom's birdwatchers. They sort of creep around with the binoculars. Oh yeah, they've got, they live the peeping Tom lifestyle, but without any of the like negativity. No shame at all. No. Wow, they should have shame. Helena said also that, yeah, she read that she was really

surprised how expensive some of these pigeons are The record was set by a Belgian racing pigeon named new Kim which sold for 1.6 million euros for a pigeon for a pigeon. What's the lifespan on a pigeon can't be that long How are you gonna get? I mean is it I don't know How are you getting a million dollars worth of value out of a pigeon? Maybe just enjoyment. Or I guess if they're... It's racing, right?

It depends on what they do with the pigeon. There's got to be pigeon racing, surely. Surely, it's a racing thing. That's it. Is there that much cash in pigeon racing? Well, I mean, maybe at the top end. Like, I mean, there's cash in everything at the top end. It feels like if you convince rich people to collect and raise, you know, it didn't like,

I'm now I'm going to get my movies confused. But one of like, maybe it's in John Wick doesn't like he's like one of his mates collect pigeons. Oh yeah, that's right. It's one of the. Yeah, the character with Laurence Fishburne's character. Yeah. Yeah.

So he has pigeons, doesn't he? Lots of pigeons, yeah. To like underground messages. Yeah, yeah, so he has pigeons, doesn't he? Lots of pigeons, yeah. Like underground messages. Like it's probably in these days of, the ultimate encryption is a pigeon. So if you can get yourself like the top level pigeon, that's the ultimate safe. Like for celebrities, you can't send nudes. Like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, you probably have to send nudes by 1.6 million

Yeah, well apparently they can live They can live for it says up to 15 years Even 20 that's a lot of news. In captivity, they can go, but if they're feral, three to four years. Yeah, right. It's harder on the streets, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then living in Taylor Swift's penthouse. Speaking of the streets, here's question three.

Oh, yeah. What is the English translation of the Japanese title for Fast and Furious from 2009? Deadly Paste. Paste? Paste. Deadly Paste. Like P-A-C-E-D. Not like, not tomato paste.

Yeah. Yeah. Not like, like, plaque that's got poison in it. Yeah. Okay. Just checking. Then we gotta double check this thing. Moving Vehicle Party. Oh yeah. That's good. Suzuki Swift presents Motor Death Battle Extreme. That's good. Drive cars really fast. Oh yeah. That is what they do. Wild speed, colon, max. Wild speed.

Or quick and angry car family. That's also accurate. That's also accurate. They are quick, they are quite angry and they are familiar. You wouldn't be disappointed if that was the time you saw them, you'd be like, well, you know what? It said what it was gonna do.

And I like that. Yeah. It's a deadly paced moving vehicle party. Suzuki Swift presents modal death battle extreme. Drive cars really fast, wild speed, colon, max. Or quick and angry car family. You reckon Jess? It's tricky, isn't it?

I wanna go with Quick and Angry Car Family cause even if it's not true and if one of these guys wrote it, they deserve a point. Quick and Angry Car Family. All right, locking that in for Jess. What do you think Dave? I think the colon appeals to me. You think the colon appeals to you?

Okay. But there's no colon in the original. But I just thought that one. What is it? Something Max? Wild Speed Max. Yeah, and I'd see a movie called that. Yeah, you would. And you'd love it. I love bad action movies. Critics would hate it. You'd love it.

It was... Okay, I was actually going towards that one, but the whole colon thing has actually... Now I'm suddenly like, there was no colon. Because it wasn't Tokyo Drift, was it? No. And also if they were translating Tokyo Drift, they'd probably be closer to that. Yeah. So I think that... They changed it to Moscow Drift to be a bit more exotic. So I'm gonna have to be run through the other ones.

Deadly Paced, Moving Vehicle Party, Suzuki Swift Presents Motor Death Battle Extreme. You know what? I've heard enough. Moving Vehicle Party. I'm gonna go with Moving Vehicle Party. I feel like that. Alright, here's the answers. Deadly Paced. That was Nick, AKA The House. And he also said that was actually the name for the Hungarian version of it. Oh wow. Deadly Pace.

Okay. Then we had Suzuki Swift presents Motor Death Battle Extreme, that was The House. That's good though. Drive Cars Really Fast was Jess Perkins. Will Went For Moving Vehicle Party, that was Dave. Oh, well done. Okay. Quick and Angry Car Family just went for that, that was Will.

Oh good. You deserve it, that's good. Meaning Dave was correct. Wild Speed, Colin Max. Oh no, I shouldn't have jumped off. Where's the mysterious Colin come from then? It's because it seems like over there the franchise is called wild speed Shouldn't have jumped off. Yeah But they have like two wild to speed like they go that that literal with a translation

No that the second one was called wild speed x2 Okay Alright, so that means Dave, that round, you got two points and Will got a point. So after three rounds, Will's on two points, Jess is on one point, House on three points, and Dave is also on three points. Here's question number four.

This comes from Aaron Campbell from Tampa, Florida. And the question is, why was Cleveland Indians pitcher Chris Perez arrested in 2013? Why was Cleveland Indians pitcher Chris Perez? Same Perez weird honor. I don't say that is that a so what you was it 2013 Why was Cleveland Indians pitcher Chris Perez arrested in 2013? That's better. Okay While you're writing your answers, he's a little more info on Wild Speed Max. According to Nick, the Japanese titles for movies are often interesting when translated

into English. Here's the whole 10 episode franchise of Fast and the Furious. So the original is Wild Speed. The second one, Too Fast Too Furious, Wild Speed X2. Tokyo Drift Wild Speed is X3, colon Tokyo Drift. Fast and Furious as we said, Wild Speed Max. Fast 5 is Wild Speed Mega Max, which is probably maybe the best one. Fast and Furious 6 is Wild Speed Euro Mission. Furious 7 is Wild Speed Sky Mission. The Fate of the Furious is Wildspeed Ice Break, Hobbs and Shaw is Wildspeed Super Combo, F9 is Wildspeed Jet Break and Fast X is Wildspeed Fire Boost. Oh, that's good. I like Fire Boost.

Yeah, all pretty fun. And Nick says he's going to submit a few more Japanese movie titles. That's a great idea Yeah, any other listeners have any yeah any of these international? That's could be a good new subcategory We've got while you're still writing those answers. Let's go for a quick break All right, we're back the answers are in Alright, we're back and the answers are in. Here's question four. Why was Cleveland Indians pitcher Chris Perez arrested in 2013? I lost it again.

Perez? Yes. Yep. Here are your options. Faking his own death. He was caught greasing the ball with butter hidden between his butt cheeks. Butter in the butt cheeks? There's so many other places to hide butter. Butter in the butt cheeks? There's so many other places to hide butter.

Don't ask me to list them. He illegally installed a hot tub at his house and when authorities arrived to forcibly remove it he refused to get out of the tub. That sounds amazing. I hope that's in. Why are cops turning up to take a hot tub? Like surely people are in danger somewhere that they'd help. I mean, this is classic celebrity behavior. Yeah, that's good. This is exactly what I want from my... From your celebrity picture. Take the hot tub, but you're taking me in, aren't you?

It's like when you found out that Shane Warne had that commissioned painting on his wall and he had all those Hollywood celebrities. We're obsessed. I love that so much. I think that might be maybe my favorite painting. Do we know where it is? Is it in the gallery? It's got to be in the gallery somewhere.

Hopefully his family have donated it on behalf of the family. Because I'd love to see it. I'd pay to see it. Do you think, yeah, one of the museum, the National Gallery or something? Or maybe the, what was that gallery in Paran the K1 gallery or whatever you remember that He sabotaged it late at night. Oh, and I would sell like Disney prints Okay, and it was the eccentric guy that owned it with big silver hair From Fantasia or something that yeah, I love that guy. I Love that guy. Anyway, that might be a good home for it.

Wait, we're halfway through here. What about on a late night drunken prank gone wrong, he broke in a Yankee stadium trying to literally steal second base. That's pretty good too. That's pretty good too. He drove his car into the locker room wall and was found to be four times over the blood alcohol limit or he was caught mailing weed to his dog.

To his dog? To his dog. I guess his dog had an address and whatever. So he got faking his own death, greasing the ball with butt butter from his butt. He was forcibly removed with his hot tub by cops. Oh, that is good. Tried to literally steal second base, drove his car into the locker room wall

four times over the blood alcohol limit or caught mailing weed to his dog. Back to you, Dave. There's so many good ones, isn't there? So many. But butt butter is so hard to go past. But butter. But butter. But there's so many fault questions. You know when you get like butter straight out of the fridge sometimes and it's too hard. Too hard.

Imagine how it would be so spreadable. Just by the bottom of the ninth or whatever. I mean what a call it spreadable cheeks it can be a whole new brand. That's right. Okay. But, but, uh, feeling second base. Very funny. Yeah, that is pretty funny. Faking his own death. Hot tub. What's the crime with faking your own death?

Insurance fraud. Insurance fraud. Yeah, no, I forgot. For a second I forgot about fraud. But they get paid so much but maybe his insurance is so big because he is so wealthy. Fuck it, butt butter. Lock in butt butter. Okay, Dave's not playing a win. Okay. Dude, that could be a thing.

That's not it. I think butt butter could be it because people do use- If that's it, I'm giving you $20. Okay, I'll take that. People do use things on the balls to cheat. Yeah. Keeping some butter in your butt is pretty, like it's pretty- And then he has to put his hand down his butt. Yeah. But they're always smashing themselves and pouring it themselves. And we're like what? Imagine how you had to be like... you would have had to have been tested.

We reckon you've got butter in your butt. You have to first accuse them. Like you take down your pants. I'm checking for butter. It smells of butter and butts. It's my specialist area. You're claiming back to me. I can smell both of them. It's the only explanation. And Dave's convinced even more so now. Thank you Will, thank you. I feel vindicated. What do you think, Will? Man, there's so many good ones. OK. Weed to the dog doesn't actually seem that unrealistic to me because I have done a version of that, which is very quickly. I was in Canada. I was doing a show in Toronto.

And some guys came to the show and saw my show. And afterwards, they gave me a bag of weed that I can only describe as like in Australia an amount of weed that would send you to prison Like a canvas bag shopping bag that just had weed in it and weed was legal in Canada at the time So they weren't doing anything wrong but I had to fly to Montreal for a week of doing shows in Montreal so I was like ah man like it'd be really great for me to have it the weed is it's legal for me to have this weed in Montreal but it's not legal for me to take it on the plane to get it from Toronto to Montreal and so I was like

I said what can I do in this situation so what I decided to do because there was a lot of weight it was good weight I was like why am I you know so I mailed it to myself via the hotel like from Toronto to where I was going to be staying because I thought worse things worse they find it and it just doesn't arrive right they're not going to come and arrest me in Canada for like but I just as a cover story I put in like a like so that didn't smell bad as well I put in like one of those bath bombs from one of those bath bomb shops I put the weed in coffee like you know I went bought some nice coffee and put the weed inside the

coffee and then I put a candle and then I wrote a fan letter as if it was a care package from a fan of mine who was like I know you're in I hope this is the hotel that you're staying in, this one that's you, I've given you this little like you know so that way I had like this big cover story in case it got intercepted that it was like someone hurt you. You wrote it with your non-dominant hand. You're slapping it. Well I won't tell you which particular comedy festival headlining gala host guest, now it's down to two, got me some weed when I was in New Zealand and dropped it off my hotel and wrote on it in his left hand as if it was a card from his kid. So you're right. That is so I am tempted that that might be the one way to the dog.

It feels like the sort of thing that might happen. But I just I want it to be hot tub so much that I'm just I'm just going to go with hot tub because that's what we're all doing so far. It's just going for the one we want it to be. I want it to be. I want but to be Bud Butter. I want Bud Butter. Yeah, no, I mean, I would have been, I'll be very happy if it's Bud Butter. I won't, because I'll owe Dave 20 bucks.

That's right. I was also hoping for Hot Tub, but if Will takes Hot Tub, I'm going to take stealing second base, because I think that's pretty funny too. We've all leaned into the funniest answers here. Here's who wrote the answers. Faking his own death, that was Will Anderson.

That's good. Drove his car in a locker room wall, four times over the blood alcohol limit, that was just Perkins. I wanted it to be somewhat believable. That's right, we have not considered any of the believable options. Oh well, they've been the first to be ruled out, so you're on the right path. Well you went for the hot tub removal, that was Dave Warnocky. Oh, James! Sorry, I wish it was real too. You know what though? Good stuff. the right path. Well you went for the hot tub removal that was Dave Warnocky.

Oh Dave! Sorry, I wish it was real too. You know what though? Good stuff. That is so funny. But Butter, that was Aaron the question writer, aka The House. Thank God, I did not have 20 bucks to give you. The House also wrote the literally stealing second base, meaning the correct answer was he was caught mailing weed to his dog. Again you've been quite close a few times. So do you think, so he sent it to his own address but address to the dog and that way if it gets caught he goes I don't know

it's mailed to the dog. I don't know what the dog ordered late at night. The dog's got my credit card for emergencies I don't know what he's spending on money on. Yeah the logic of it doesn't seem to add up, does it? Can I tell you though... It's plausible deniability. Yeah, that's right. It's like, I think that... Possible deniability? That's the company that mows the weensie dog?

Yeah. My dog does get mail. Really? Yeah, his food is like a subscription, so they send it to us every month and it says to Goose. Really? It's very cute. So tough though when the dog gets mail because of course the mailman is traditionally the end of the Amazon. I'm trying to give it to you mate. It's just real push and pull. Goose is like, I'll take the food, but I'm not happy about it. All right. Question five comes from Logan Husky. Speaking of dogs.

A dog? Yeah. From Brisbane. Logan's question is, am I a good boy? Am I, am I a good boy? Am I? Am I a good boy? Am I? Logan's question is, what was the name of Leonard Nimoy's 1975 autobiography?

What was the name of Leonard Nimoy's 1975 autobiography? And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about that. Weed Crime. He retired a few years later in 2015 and Sports Illustrated wrote a brief article which I'll read here. Former Indians closer Chris Perez retired early last week. The International League's transaction log shows but no one noticed until Wednesday. Wednesday, coincidentally, is also National Dog Day, which is fitting because Perez is

most famous for getting a shipment of wheat at his house in 2013 and telling the cops it was for his dog. Perez pleaded no contest to the charges, paid a $250 fine and got one year of probation. Prez's retirement brings his very strange career to an end. In 2012, he was caught on video cursing out an opposing fan. And two months after he vomited on the mound after a save. I don't know if that was tactical or... Tactical Vom? All right, answers are in for question number five.

What was the name of Leonard Nimoy's 1975 autobiography? Live long and don't prosper. I am not Spock. Live long and cash in. Spock it to me, attract through the stars. Spock it to me. There's a colon there too. Spock it to me, a trek through the stars. There's a colon there too. Spock it to me colon. Another colon.

Not a doctor colon. Stories from a spock-tacular life. Or finally, work hard, play hard, Lenard. That's good. Oh, that's good. Can I have them again? Oh, hang on. Yeah. And I'll say all of these correctly this time. Okay.

I've already seen one thing that I auto corrected in my brain. Live wrong and don't prosper. Oh. I am not Spock. Live long and cash in. Spock it to me, it tracks me through the stars. Not a doctor, stories from a Spock-tacular life and work hard play hard learn hard Think we're up to you Will

Man I don't know Really do not know. Yeah, is he like a cornball is he serious? Yeah, like is he having fun with the Spock thing or is it it the complete opposite of like, I am not Spock? Because I have a feeling that that's what I'm leaning towards. Is that like all of us have leaned into the nonsense and that he's a real straight ahead. I'm not Spock, I'm not Spock. I do a whole bunch of other things and I'm sick of you all,

this book's not all gonna be about him, you bloody nerds. And like 50 people a day come up to him saying, Spock, Spock, Spock. I'm not fucking Spock. My name's Leonard. I'm a serious artist. I'm an actor.

My name's Leonard. Yeah, sorry, because I work hard, play hard. Leonard. He says. There's someone as well about saying, I'm not Spock. They're like, well, why have you got the word in your autobiography title? Yeah, protesting. It's sort of, Doth protests too much. Yeah. You should have just why have you got the word in your autobiography title? Yeah, it's sort of a protest too much. So, yeah, I've just mixed it in with the other things that are in there,

like, you know, a real triple M approach like Spock, sport and comedy. Yeah. OK, I'm going to go with that, though. I am. I'm not Spock or whatever it is. I mean, Spock is a triple M is sport and rock. Yeah, it's Spock. What if they rebranded it as Spock? Spock and comedy. That's good. Yeah, I'm not Spock. Alright, what about you? That's what I'm... What do you think, Jess? I think I like the... there was a couple with Colins because I feel like a lot of autobiographies, they have like a title then a little subtitle.

Much like the Japanese versions of Fast and Furious movies. With this I do agree with Collins. So what were those two? The two Collins were Spock it to me, Trek through the stars. That's a good start. And not a doctor stories from a Spock-tacular life. I think not a doctor. So they were both Collins, both little Spock wordplay.

Because on the show is he Dr. Spock? No, he were both, both Collins, both little Spock wordplay in their dreams. Right, because on the show is he Dr. Spock? No, he's Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock. Oh yeah, he's a surgeon. He's a surgeon. See, that's why he's saying not a doctor. Oh, not a doctor. Yeah, so he's very similar to why I'm not Spock. Yeah, right. Right. Because people always say Dr. Spock and it's not. Yeah. Okay, so I'm, yeah, so I'm probably wrong there, but I'm standing by it. No, that's why I Nailed it then I definitely stay out of it Dave That wasn't listening

I was I was leaning towards I'm not Spock But then he is pretty he's funny on the Simpsons and he does make fun of himself on there So maybe I don't know how serious he is. It's a good point. Actually, I'm not spying. 1975. You've told me back around. Yeah, no, you're right. You just say this one is Spock it to me. Yeah.

Yes. Spock it. So you should consider that. Really? Should I, should I consider that? You should. It's pretty funny. Would you say if it's not real, the writer of that is a genius.

I don't know if they'd say genius. But, uh, geez, I wouldn't mind if somebody else said it. I don't know. Or am I tricking you? I think you are tricking me. I, uh... I mean, my gut is I'm not Spock. That was my first one, yeah.

I'm gonna go with that, because I honestly can't remember the other ones that we've seen. Let's go through them. Live wrong and don't prosper. That was Dave. Sorry for butchering that. You absolutely butchered it. I butchered it, sorry about that. I thought it might be like a self-help thing.

Live wrong and don't prosper. Yeah, oh yeah. I see, yeah, that's very, that's genius. That's genius. Now that's genius. Live long and don't prosper? That doesn't make any sense. What are you talking about?

You're wrong. I thought one that I thought was genius. Spock it to me. Trek through the stars. That was just perfect. Genius. That was genius. Thank you.

I got a clap from Will Anderson. It was genius. Live long. Spock it to me. Come on. That's good stuff. That's a trek through the stars. That's really. Spock it to me. Come on. That's good stuff. That's a trek through the stars?

That's really... Are you kidding me? Can I change my answer? That's good stuff. Liv Longin, Cashin, that was Logan, okay. The House. That's good too. That's funny as well.

The House also wrote, work hard, play hard, len hard. I think that was the one we all agreed was not the answer. I think I might have, like, you know, like, when sometimes you get ideas through the ether or whatever, I'm pretty sure I've been inspired by a Hino truck jingle. Yeah. Something like, you know, we know, he know. I think that was, I think maybe. I realised only later, but so if the writer of the Hino jingle's listening, thank you

so much. Please answer. Not a Doctor, Stories from a spock-tacular life just went for that that was Will Anderson Genius I'd say. See genius has put little colons in there. And bury a spock-punt I buried my spock-punt though, I hit you in the face with it. Don't get me wrong, that's how mine started. And then I was like, now I'm going to bury it in the end. I'm going to do this business about people confusing me for being a doctor. And that means Will and Dave are correct.

I am not Spock. Oh. So two points to all that around one point today. He was a serious and boring man. Yeah, right. I lost full comp, I almost did what I did the previous two and lost full confidence at that at the last minute. Cool.

So two rounds to go, the scores are Jess on one point. Killing it, yes. Will on four points, but out in front on five points a piece it's Dave in the house. Are we playing golf rules? Not this week, sorry. Oh, okay. We thought we'd just hang Not this week, sorry. Oh, okay. We thought we'd just head off this week.

Question six comes from Emmy White from Albuquerque, New Mexico. And Emmy's question is, what headline did Metro run on the 25th of November, 2016? What headline did Metro News run on the 25th of November, 2016? 2016, okay. While you're on those, let me tell you a bit more about this autobiography. According to the blurb, to a watching world, he is a logical, powerful stalwart, first

officer of the Starship Enterprise, the adored object of millions of Star Trek fans. For three years, 12 hours a day, five days a week, he functioned as the half-human, half-fulcan Mr. Spock, an extraterrestrial, an extra- Oh my God. Here we go. An extra-terrestrial. Oh my God, how do you say that? Extra-terrestrial.

I think I can say it, but I can't read it somehow. Okay, so don't look at it. Okay. An extraterrestrial. There it is. He's not, he's Leonard Nimoy, an actor, a teacher, a writer, a father, a husband, a real flesh and blood human being.

It's pretty full on. Now while the phenomenal popularity of Star Trek still grows, Nimoy doffs the pointy ears and placid face and reveals himself totally. His relationship with fellow actors, the backstage frenzies, the near cancellation of Star Trek, the lean years, the loneliness, the battles, the ultimate struggle to survive his own success." So yeah, I mean, he does talk about Star Trek a lot in that blurb. According to Logan, the book was criticized by some fans because of the perception that Nimoy was rejecting the character of Spock. And according to Wiki, at the time, Spock and according to Wiki at the time Nimoy had sought to distance his own personality from that of the character

of Spock although he nonetheless remained proud of his time on the show. Negative fan reaction to the title gave Nimoy the idea for a title for his second volume and in 1995 he released his second autobiography called I am Spock. In 1995 he released his second autobiography called I am Spock. No! He's incredible! He found, he's like, I am a funny guy. No, I am Spock. That's so funny.

Yeah, I think, I think he was like, why are all my fans who love Spock upset that I've wrote a book saying, fuck off Spock. Okay, the answers are in. The penultimate question. What headline did Metro News run on the 25th of November, 2016? Here are your options. Undercover Popo playing Pokemon Go infiltrate Drug Bro's Chateau blow to International Flow

of Snow. That would take up the whole front page. It's good stuff. It is good. Really, can we have it one more time? It's so good. Undercover Popo playing Pokemon Go infiltrate Drug Bro's Chateau blow to International Flow of Snow.

Thanksgiving Parade halted by flock of angry turkeys. Bear cub escorted from Walmart leads to Peter anti-discrimination suit. Donald Dumpf. What? Should really give him a quick once over for a rate them out which I have of course. Anyone else ruling out Donald Dump? I might as well hear it in all of glorious voice. I'm not good at this. Um, episode 86. Donald's Dump. Photos from inside Trump's golden toilet. Sorry, sorry, was there not a colon in that headline?

If I had to guess just from the way it sounded Don't you think there was both a colon in both Donald's dump and the headline? I guess from hearing it for the first time Donald's dump colon Photos from inside Trump's colon toilet What a scoop from Metro News Yeah, huge Then you've got Polly the anxious goat is only calm when she wears her duck costume. Or Boris Johnson impersonator falls down escalator.

It's all pretty good. Yeah. So you got this front page. Can I double check? Just a headline. Just a headline. Okay. Online headline.

Metro. Metro. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. One more time, please. So you got the undercover Popo, Pokemon Go, drug boat, shadow boat. Fuck, that could be it if it's online. Yeah, that could definitely be it. That could be it.

Thanksgiving parade halted by flock of angry turkeys. Bear cub escorted from Walmart leads to Peter anti-discrimination suit. Donald stump colon, photos from inside Trump's gold. That one sounds real. Yeah. That one sounds very real. I like that one, that's my number one for now.

It makes sense, he's just been elected. That one sounds very real. I like that one. That's my number one for now. It makes sense. He's just been elected. Trump news was really big. It's like very time specific. Yeah. We were all interested in. Check out for the date.

25th of November. We all wanted to know about his golden toilet, I remember. We were obsessed with it. Yeah. It's a good headline because it rhymes with his name. Yeah. It's got two meanings. I possibly might give a consolation point for whoever like that.

Probably the anxious goat only calm when she wears her duck costume or Boris Johnson impersonator falls down escalator. Back to you Jess. What was the bear cub one? Bear cub escorted from Walmart leads to Peter anti- discrimination suit. That doesn't sound fun. And do Peter care about discriminating against whether a bear can go to Walmart? Surely a bear can shop like anyone else? They don't want bears inside. Never know. Never know. The more you play it out in your head, the more you're enjoying it, Dave. Take yourself on a journey. Let him back in. Let him back in. Picture the bear in court. The adorable, oh yeah. Really cute. He's wearing a suit.

Yeah. And it's just a really great performer. They're like, normally we wouldn't get you to take the stand, but we think it's going to really play well with us, Juri. Come down to the bear. They'll love you. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Oh, he's so cute. Adorable. Let him shop.

Just wanted a new suit. I really don't know. I'm going to go, because I've got one point at this point. I'm going to go for Popo. Popo. Okay. I mean the popo is a lot of work for anyone else to go to. Yeah. It would have almost a sad amount of work. A sad amount of work if it's not the case. Yeah that's true. Yeah. It'd be embarrassing. It would be embarrassing that somebody had done that much work if that wasn't the great thing. You'd have to have a bit of a look in the mirror at that point, I think. You'd be a real piece of shit. Yeah, yeah.

I might change my answer. Okay, my turn. If I can. Yeah, yeah, sure. But I don't know which one. Donald's Dump? Not Donald's Dump, I don't think. Pretty funny that some turkeys interrupt

a Thanksgiving parade, that's pretty funny. Yeah, you got turkeys, you got a bear. You got a goat. You got Donald's Dump. Donald's Dump. Yeah, P got turkeys. We've got a bear. You know the guy's Donald's dump Donald Donald's dump. Yeah, Polly the goat wearing the duck costume. Yeah, Boris Johnson impersonator I'm gonna go Boris Johnson impersonator. That's funny falls down the escalator I think a lot of these are quite American but his Metro is that the UK one? But a web site you think just cuz they're from the UK. They're not gonna be reporting on Donald's down

Yeah, maybe Thomas. That's worldwide. Yeah, it's worldwide news. What baby? Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it's they're from the UK they're not gonna be reporting on Donald's dump? Yeah, maybe Donald's dump. That's worldwide. That's worldwide news. We're worldwide baby. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think... But it's the metro in the UK. Is that what we're saying? Yeah. Oh, no, I'm not saying anything, but...

No. I think, you know, on the... Give us some more information. Online... Online pretty much goes everywhere. Yeah. It goes everywhere. Really?

Yeah, but UK-focused stories, right? That's what I would have thought. They're like Walmart... Yeah. ...Turkeys... Talk to... I mean, these sort of websites, if there's photos or a video of it, they'll put a story on anything. Yeah, that's a good point. To be honest, you read them all out. I want to click on all of them. So they've done their job. And the goat, I think I'm just going to go the goat one. Go the goat. Go the goat in the duck. Goat in the duck. I mean I, I mean I was a bit like the UK Boris Johnson in person,

Boris Johnson impersonator falling down an escalator. Feels fun. It does feel fun. Again I would click. Yeah, I've got video of it. You can see that. Oh I watched the video for sure. Video of Boris Johnson impersonator falling down an escalator. And does he maintain character the whole way down? I mean, it's hard not to be in character as Boris Johnson when you're falling down an escalator. He is good.

This is the ultimate impersonation. The way that he's falling down an escalator. That's such a Boris Johnson thing to do, I imagine. As he's falling down, he's like, I think I've finally got the character. Yeah, he wasn't even a Boris Johnson impersonator until he fell down the escalator. Just a man with blonde hair. He was scouted.

It's like, you remind me of the Prime Minister. Gee, I've almost... That line up, right? That's when he's Prime Minister. Him and Trump are up at the same time. So Boris Johnson in person, if only down an escalator, certainly would make the news. Yeah, absolutely. I think probably I'm leaning towards Donald's dump. Donald's dump, yep. It just feels right to me.

Is Donald's dump, is it a slight sort of play on Donald Duck or is that just a bonus little bit extra fun? I don't know. You have to ask the person who wrote it. Well I'm just putting that out there. In the journalist's mind. Yes, exactly. I mean if I was trying to get inside the mind of the person who came up with it, I wouldn't have thought it needed an extra layer of meaning an extra layer. Well that's out there. I thought it was already doing a lot of business. Well I think like most artists I think, whoever, would probably say hey I'm not going to tell you. You get out of it whatever you want to get out of it.

I mean it seems a bit boring to go with the same one as Jess but I but I also think it is the one so and I've been doing so well so you know what my stock broker he doesn't have any money either, so he's got more incentive to invest in goods and stuff. He wants it more than anyone else. I'll take advice from him, he needs it man. Warren Buffett doesn't need it man, he's got all the money he could ever need. I'm like, why would I take his advice? He's complacent.

He's not hungry man. You know, he's hungry, Jess, in his game. So I'm going take his advice. He's complacent. He's not hungry, man. You know, he's hungry. Jess, in his game. So I'm going with Jess. So lock him in. Boris Johnson impersonated down escalator. Alright, he's wrote the answers. In the best game of Cluedo of all time. Uh, PoPo Pokemon Go, that was the house.

Oh, that's good stuff. Was that you or? Yeah, whenever the newspaper headlines one comes up, I open up Rhymemezone.com and I just see what happens. You've got to get some sort of like, I don't know, Pulitzer Prize for that. That is incredible. That's the most rhymes I've got in one. Pulitzer Prize or is it called colloquially the Popo Prize? It'll be renamed now after that. That's how influential it is. House also wrote Bear Cub escorted from Walmart.

Oh yeah. Didn't check out, did it? No, not on two or three levels. On further investigation. Didn't check out. Hang on a second. Broad country, makes no sense. Since that court case, none of us have ever

looked at it the same way. Angry turkeys halt the Thanksgiving Day parade. That was just Pookins. Donald Stump, whoever wrote this will give a point too, because that deserves it. That was Will Anderson. And you were thinking Donald Duck? No, I wasn't. Sometimes when you're a great artist, people read other things in your work. That's the layers you even accidentally put in.

I have in the past, you know, it's tickled me the real answer at the time, but I think I really did probably sell you out there when I said I should read. Yeah. Like I probably, it would have made some sense. Okay. Maybe that I would have read the correct answer before now. But so I'll give you. I mean in the grand logic of the show it would.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably be the most obvious clue to give away. It was one you were reading for the first time, and then by simple process of elimination, the other two people at the table quickly ruled themselves out from being the person who would have written it. So, yeah, no, I think so.

You're right. Yeah. Just a bit of feedback. I guess. I'm glad that you brought it up. What did you think went wrong with that? Before we all weigh in, how did you think went wrong with that? Before we all weigh in. Yeah.

How did you think that went? Uh, well, not all went right, if I'm being honest, but um. How do you remember it all? Will and Jess, you both went for Boris Johnson in person at Fools San Esco. That was Dave Mournes. No! That's good stuff. Sorry, everyone.

No, that's good stuff. And that's why he asked for what year it was to make sure Boris Johnson was relevant. He asked what year and he also said, is it a UK based thing, isn't it? Do you know what I'm saying? You're a piece of shit. That was a little stupid also, that was me.

Cause the first one started being read out and I was like, oh my God, they're all American. Oh no, this is Metro LA or something. So I just, yeah, had to justify myself. That was some good. That was good. That was good. That was lighting. Which I would hold against you.

Except that it's the entire purpose of this game. So like it does. It was really just you being good at what we've been brought here to do. Yeah. And I can't hold that against you. I'm sorry. I've got a second opinion. You're going all in with Jess again?

I've picked the side and I feel like it hasn't worked out yet but long game. Long game, one question to go. Long game. And that also means, Dave is correct, it is the anxious goat in the duck costume. I mean I'm sure that's very cute. But it is 100% the only reason this is a story is because that like, it's more photos than story, you know? Um, okay, let's. You've clicked on an ad.

Yep, you've clicked on ad grandpa. Matt, are you? Oh, let me get my glasses. There you go. Oh. So it's a goat wearing, okay, that's a cute little goat. It's just like a lot of photos of a cute goat. I reckon this page needs more ads. Oh my God. Wearing okay, that's a cute little guy. It's just like a lot of

This page needs more wild. You're on that page as you're trying to scroll through a goat in a duck-crossed spot. I know, everything's fine with the world. What is this reality? We just don't have time to concentrate on climate change. There's just too much other stuff to do, you know? All these products to buy. I'm mostly just closing ads. So that means in that round, Dave gets three points, Will gets eight points. Okay, thank you. A pity point.

A pity point. That means you're on to the final round, which is triple points, it's still anyone's game. Just on one point. Will and the house are on five points, but out in front now on eight points is Dave. Woo! It's getting embarrassing.

All right, final question. Winning. Yeah. Oh no, oh God, I hate it. Oh, it's so embarrassing. Winning by three points. Oh, she's not us, Dave. I feel just great where I am,

which is competent, but not overachieving in a way that is obnoxious. That's exact, that's my best spot to be. Yeah, and I feel cool. Cause you fucking nerds are getting everything right and I'm just here smoking cigarettes. Yeah, back of the bus. And being real cool.

So the final question comes from Talia, Talia and Amanda from South St. Paul in Minnesota. Is this a collab? It's a collab question. Love this, okay. We got ourselves a collab. And the question is, what is the synopsis of the 2011 TV movie, Teen Spirit? What is the synopsis? TV movie?

Synopsis of the 2011 TV movie, Teen Spirit? Teen Spirit. Okay, great. 2011 TV movie. Yeah, so well, this one will be a slightly longer answer, you know, maybe like two, three, four, five sentences. And while you're writing those answers, let me read the article that is more ads than not, but I'll just read the copy that she's written. Ellen Scott writes, everyone needs their own self-care routine to soothe their senses and get rid of stress. For some, that may be coloring books or candles. For Polly the goat, it's dressing up as a little duckling. Polly is a rescue goat who lives in a group of goats called Goats Vaniky, looked after by Leanne Loriciella. Polly also happens to suffer from anxiety,

along with other serious health issues, including blindness and neurological problems. One day, Polly's owner, Leanna, was shopping around Halloween time and spotted a child's duck costume. She decided to give the costume to Polly to try on. And it turned out that Polly's true calling is dressing up as a little duck.

You see, the minute Polly had the duck costume on, she was instantly soothed. Leanne told the dodo, which I guess is a meteor outlet, or maybe it's just a bird, that she reckons that the costume works in the same way as being swaddled in a blanket, but no other T-shirt or blanket has the same effect on Polly as her favorite duck costume.

Whenever Polly gets anxious, Le on Polly as her favourite duck costume. Whenever Polly gets anxious, Leanne just dresses her in the duck costume to bring her back to the state of calm and it works every time. After seeing the magical effects of the duck costume, Leanne also bought Polly Pig in Fox costumes. They're pretty effective too, but the duck costume remains Polly's absolute favourite and she now wears it whenever she leaves the house or when she's at home but feeling unsettled. Leanna is a little concerned about what will happen once Polly outgrows her duck costume but she's

hoping that Polly's new friend a tiny goat named Pocket will have the same soothing effects. What a beautiful story. I'll be honest I got pretty bored about three quarters of the way through mine and I gave up. Oh, let's see if that becomes apparent. Yeah, that's me with most meals. Oh really? I get bored and I'm like, I'm done. But I could probably eat more, but I'm bored of it now.

You're bored of the food? Yeah, yeah. Interesting. I should teach that at like Weight Watchers and stuff. Just get bored. Yeah,. You're bored of the food? Yeah. Interesting. I should teach that at like Weight Watchers and stuff. Just get bored. Yeah, just get the bored diet. Just try more boring food. Yeah. You ever tried boring food? Yeah. Fuck this, I'm bored. I'm done. Alright, answers are in for the final question. What is the synopsis of the 2011 TV movie Teen Spirit? Instead of going to Kelly Larson's killer party, outcast Sarah Whitaker and her three best friends spend

Halloween playing with a dusty Ouija board she found in the back of her closet. Sarah's friends pack it up and head home when no ghosts show up, but Sarah gives it one last shot and summons Alan Short, a teen boy who died tragically in 1953. Wow. Soon the two are inseparable. There's only one problem. No one but Sarah can see him and Sarah's friends slowly start to think she's crazy.

When Alan... Slowly. She says I can see a ghost and I'm chatting to him now. What's that Alan? And slowly they start to think she's crazy. Only when she says his name is Alan Short. And they go, okay. Too far.

Let's see if this last little bit helps you believe or not. When Alan asks Sarah to prom, will she be bootifully courageous or go on a spirited date with him? Okay, let's one way back in. That's one way over. Okay, one way or the other. Or will she be too worried she'll make a specter

call of herself. And now it's lost me. And now it's lost me. To go to prom with the boy she loves. She loves. A boy who died in the 50s. She loves him. And as we all know and have experienced, teen love is a turtle. It's a turtle. It Is a turtle. One of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We've all fallen in love with a turtle. Okay, move on. Next synopsis. All right, that's the first one. That was, yeah.

Concise. Concise, yeah. Just nice, straight to the point. Well, I think we got the whole movie, really. Yeah, it felt like a lot. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I've seen it really. Yeah, it felt like a lot. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I've seen it now. Yeah, it's only a daytime movie.

Like it probably only goes for 65 minutes. So we've seen 64 of them. You describe so much of it that I feel like regardless of what I hear from now on, that feels like the movie that I've seen. Yeah. Yeah. All right, second option. Samantha Nicholl is the most popular girl in her high school,

captain of the cheerleading team, homecoming queen, and student body president. But when a tragic accident leaves Sam in a coma, her spirit lingers at school, and Sam learns that she is not as beloved as she thought she was. Will she be able to turn her reputation around before the school year ends?

That's option two. Option three, loosely based on the real life romance between Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, this teen rock scene romance reimagines their story and discovers what love really smells like. What love really smells like? Do we need to discover what love smells like? We can leave that alone. It smells like butt and butt. Butt alone. It smells like butt and butter. Butt butter. It smells like butt butter.

Is that love? Am I experiencing love? Oh my gosh. Is it happening? Hang on. My two favourite smells are in here. Must be in love. Fourth option. The story is about Amber, a snobbish, mean, virgin, popular girl who gets

electrocuted in a freak accident. She's not allowed to enter heaven unless she returns to school as a ghost to help the least popular girl in school become prom queen within one week of dark. But things do not go as planned. She kills the other girl. Then they both haunt the school. They just keep collecting ghost members of that gang. Everyone's dead. Except for one kid who has to become prom queen. They're the only one and then they're all by elimination. Yeah they're all

released. Yes. Wow okay we just made that movie better. Quick Punch it up a little bit. Re-release it. By the rights. Let's buy the rights. Let's do it. We'll do a do go on Tofop collaboration production and we'll make this. We'll remake it with the new ending. Do go on and Tofop present. Teens spirit.

Teens spirit. Uh. Uh. Uh. Re-imagine. We're big in the teen market, I imagine. I've never looked in. I'm sure we're big with the teens.

Aren't we surprised if the phone doesn't ring by the time we finish recording this episode? Alright, two more options. Jenny Sharp is a recently divorced high school counsellor trying to find her purpose in life. During a tornado drill, she does a spontaneous cheer routine and discovers that she can bring a bit of teen spirit to the students. She gets the job as head cheerleader. Unfortunately, she doesn't realise that her efforts into bringing morale to the school is just making the students laugh at her behind her back. Will she stop her routine or is it better to let them make fun of her if it means they find a common ground and realise they are more alike than not? Wow. Sure, these are asking big questions. Yeah.

I was gonna say, if that's not the correct answer, I feel for the person who wrote that. I feel like they've got some real... Ah! Sadness. Real trauma that's been worked through. I'm trying to think of one where Jess got born halfway through. Give me that one.

Give me that one. I'm over it. I'll just finish this sentence, I don't care. Like I, you know, don't know American school rules apart from what I've seen on TV, but can teachers become the head cheerleaders? Oh yeah, I mean like from what I've seen on TV, but can teachers become the head cheerleader? Oh yeah, I mean like from what I've watched. She's not a coach, she's the head cheerleader. No, she's a school counselor.

Yeah, but then she becomes head cheerleader. Yeah. I was imagining cheerleading coach. No, she can't be the head cheerleader, no. No, I reckon she could. There's nothing in the rule books. I reckon it's like there's nothing in the rule books. It says a dog can't play basketball

There's nothing in the rule book this is a local judge can't convict a drink drink driver to coach a pee-wee hockey team Yeah, I think yep by the rules of how America works. This is fine And your final option is 17 year old Sarah Reese moves into an all girls, all girls school An all girls school in a new town She begins to notice strange idols hidden around the school and soon discovers that everyone on campus is in fact practicing witchcraft When she refuses to join in on the practice, she realizes she is in big, big trouble. Uh, I see if I can try and quickly run and you throw me in.

I'm so lost. We had the girl who fell in love with the 1950s boy. That's pretty funny. Yeah, it's good. It is good. Uh, then we had the student who ends up, the popular girl ends up in a coma, but her ghost goes to school and she finds out she's not that popular after all. Then we got the one loosely based on Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's story, where we finally discover what love really smells like.

You got the snobbish, mean girl who gets electrocuted and has to get the least popular girl to be prom queen within a week. So she can go to heaven. Two of those are quite similar. Yeah, you're right. Prom queen is a big American teen movie. Yeah.

Then you've got the teacher becoming head cheerleader during a tornado drill. Which I love. I love. You either love or you think whoever wrote it has sadness in their life. Both. Both can be true.

I've surely loved the most written by Sam Fink. Exactly, some of the greatest artists ever. If I'm ruling that out. Yeah. Yeah. Or finally, where Sarah Reese goes to a new school, new town, realises everyone's a witch. she doesn't join in, and she's in trouble. That's a popular teen movie category too.

Yeah, everyone's a witch. Who wants to have first dip? I'm going with the... she falls in love with the 50s teen. 50s boy. Number one? Yeah. Because you heard that first one, you zoned out the others. I got bored.

Oh, whatever. Because you heard that first one he's owned out the other Anything was gonna bore you it was that 90 minute description Some of the most brutal puns I've heard bootifully courageous Spirited date and specter call. Yes. I've made my choice. I think they're all fantastic. Yeah.. Yeah. Whoever wrote that. Yeah. Or including Hollywood. Yes, including Hollywood. Including Hollywood. Exactly. Dave, do you want to have a go? I think I'm going to pick number two, which is that because there's two with

like Resurrection Heaven or something. What's number two? Number two is where she realized she's not as popular as she thought. Yeah, I definitely can see that. Doesn't doesn't sound like it's got that bigger budget either. She sort of just has to sort of stand in the room. Yeah. Film kids at lockers bitching about her or something like that. Yeah, I'm going to get that one.

I also believe it's that one. But based on the idea that this game is no fun, if like we both come up with the same answer to this category. No, it could be a lot of fun if you do. You don't know. You don't know what that means. Oh, if you're but I mean, not because if we're both right. If you're both wrong or you're both right, you know. If Jess wrote it, she could. But then doesn't we just stay exactly the same as what we were regardless? Oh, and you were down.

Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. So really, even if it's right and he's right, it doesn't really matter that I'm right, right? That's true. I might as well go for some death or glory. Yes. Which means I now need another option, because as soon as I heard that one, I locked that in as being the correct answer. I do that too. And now I haven't really listened to any of the other ones. That sounds right. Don't worry about the others mate. So everyone's a witch. Everyone's a witch. That's fine. I'm not gonna go with that. Everyone's a witch. There's a one that was written by a sad person. Teacher becomes a head prom. You've got the freak accident and she has to get another the least popular girl to be prom queen within a week to get into

heaven. Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. That's good. Loosely based on and yeah that's that's all of them and then the two they picked. I'm alright. You know what I'll go the other the other problem. The problem queen one. Amber, who who dies and has to get there. Yeah. OK. The least popular girl to be problem. I can see that happening in a movie. Yeah. It's problem. Queen's very important and really sets you up for life.

Yeah. So you become part of a new dynasty. That's right. That's right. Yeah, that's right. It's really important. And you should definitely like bring it up at parties. I reckon forever. Yeah.

All right. Here's the answers. 17 year old Sarah Reese finds out everyone's a witch in the new town. That was Dave Warnocky. That's pretty good. She won't participate. The one. No, no. That was the only bit that I didn't believe.

Because normally, like, they're like, everyone's like, oh, and now you're a witch. Yeah. And you'd be like, oh fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How could you be like, this is sick actually. You were like, went to the coolest town ever. I didn't join in. How cool it was.

No, I don't want to. The whole movie is just people having great fun outside of shot. She's just like, no, I'm just going to do my homework. People are flying in the background. It's the only way I can afford to make the movie. I'm not sure any of the good stuff. The one that Will said was written by a sad person, that was Tolia and Amanda.

I'm so sorry. At least two people got to share that. Yeah. They were half sadness. I also definitely didn't help, I didn't help them with my telling of it, bringing up the fact that the teacher was it. But I do think that American movies do that a lot. There's nothing in the rule book that says. Yeah. No. Which is one of the best cliches. A lot of people avoid jail time by being, having to coach something. Yes. It happens. Yeah. It's so many. Go hang out with kids. Yeah. Impressionable.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You've got, yeah, you relate to the world in a bad way. Yeah. And you've just been arrested for drink driving. So could you please go and take some delinquent children and be their role models? Yeah. I assume it'll all work out fine.

Yeah. Yeah. Loosely based on the true story of Kurt Cobane and Courtney Love, that was Will Anderson. What? That's good. That's good. Teen spirit. Teen spirit.

It's very good. It's fun. Yeah, it's good stuff. 30 years in the biz. Jess, you went for the one about the 1950s teen boy named Alan Short. That was another Tolya and Amanda co-lab. Well done, the house.lab. Well done the house.

So point there for the house. So Dave went for the one about the girl finding out that she's not as popular as she thought. That was Jess Perkins. Great work. So if you did go for it you would have really, Jess would have roared home. It didn't trail off at all. It was great. Oh yeah but I did. Oh okay you got bored of your own movie. I was like, ugh. But that does mean, Will, that the one you just went for as a last minute thing was correct. Wow. I've done the reverse, Anderson.

I've jumped onto one at the last minute. Wow. So which one was that? Yeah, remind us. So that one was the Virgin. It's gotta make the most popular girl in school, the... Yeah. She died, and apparently she dies in a freak accident.

She just gets homecoming queen, and the crown electrocutes her somehow in a car accident. Yeah, right. Good fun. And then they do a redo prom thing the next week. Why? And like the... Well, cause you gotta have a prom queen.

Yeah, you've got to have a reigning champ. You can't have an empty throne for a year. The queen is dead. Yeah. Long live the queen. Why the fuck would the school do that? And like the devil or the god or whatever is like, if you don't let them get the least popular girl to be prom queen next week, you're going to hell.

Why the fuck are they doing another prom? Heaven if she does, hell if you don't. That's fine. That feels arbitrary a of arbitrary a little bit. There's a lot on the line. Yeah a lot on the line. I want to see it. A student died. Why are you having another prom? We have another party. Yeah it's a good point though. A week later. That's fucked. I couldn't find out a much... To replace them. Yeah. And then hand over the crown that killed them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, In fourth place on four points it's Jess Perkins. But you did quadruple your score in the last round there. That's pretty good. Great work. In third place... Sorry, I found the poster for Teen Spirit. It's perfect. That's great. That is good. In third place...

And look at that nerdy girl. You think she needs the make-up to the most beautiful girl in school. Look at that nerd. She's got nothing to work with. How could she possibly make... She's got nothing to work with. How could she possibly make this second best looking girl at school be the best looking girl at school? What a turnaround it'll be. In third place on six points is the house, meaning we have joint winners on eight points. It's Dave Warne to give Will Anderson. The glory.

Great job. The glory. We get to share this electrified crown. That's beautiful. That brings us to the end of the episode. Will, where can people find you? This will be coming out in like a week and a half or something.

Are you doing other festivals? Yeah, I am doing heaps of other shows. So still Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, and then a bunch of regionals at that stage. So all the details at comedy.com.au. Are you still doing like stints in the US? So no. So when Covid happened, do you remember that? The pandemic? Kind of.

The global pandemic. My visa expired, but also my joy of going to American states on tiny little planes in a country that doesn't have great health care and heaps of covid. I really readjusted what my priorities were. And now I am going to do an international tour next year. So the idea is I'm going to tour this show I'm doing in Australia this year and then I'm going to take it overseas next year. Hopefully UK and America and a bunch of other places. And it's already the funnest show you've ever done. I'm having so much fun.

Like I mean I wanted to write something too that I could keep working on for two years because if I was going to do it for that long I wanted it to be something that was really fun to do and yeah it's great. It's been I've gone back and re-imagined, like I tried to do like an honest take on how I think about some of the things I talked about in my standup when I first started. So it's kind of, I guess in that like a movie equivalent, it's kind of like a gritty reboot story. So you're saying how you think men and women

are different now? Now, men and women aren't even just men and women anymore, you won't believe it. It's changed so much. They're non-binary and stuff, like I do it like it's an old school comedian, but I'm like really making good points about how people can identify as like, men and women, like they're different, but also non-binary people are different. Difference is great, is what I'm saying. You ever notice how great it is? Everyone can identify however they want it. People are just different anyway. People can be their authentic selves.

I should say, well you've just lost half our audience who are very close minded. That's fine, yeah. Obviously. The other half would be loving that. Honestly, it's the worst business move of all time not being that sort of person. Because I am like the last of would be loving that. Honestly it's the worst business move of all time like not being that sort of person because I am like the last of the white middle-class

like a male guy like I mean it's that generation who I could absolutely pivot hard yeah so that sort of like alt-right yeah yeah like everything's wrong and new and I don't like it. Mark it. Which is like it turns out very lucrative. The old you can't say, you know what? You'll if you can't, if you tell people you can't say anything more anymore, you will constantly be saying this. Yeah. People will constantly employ you. Netflix will call you up pretty quickly. Yeah. We've heard that Will Anderson said you can't say anything anymore.

Let's get him a special. Sounds like the name of a special to me. Yeah. And the package deal of Jess and Dave, what are you being up to? Yeah. Anything? We'll answer together, thanks.

You can hear us. Jesus Christ, you're about to see improv game. You can hear us on Do Go On, our other podcast, and find us at Dave Warnocky and at Jess Perkins on Instagram. Thank you. Well said. And yeah, Will also does like a bunch of podcasts, but the footy ones. Everyone relaxes where you find all of them.

Oh, yeah, that's right. We just put them all in the one feed. So if you go to everyone relax, you can find philosophy. You can find the footy podcast. You can find Tofop and Tofop with friends. All the stuff we do is in the one feed. And you coming up at some point, you get into the mind of Jess Perkins and Willis. Is that not out yet?

The Jess Perkins episode has not come out yet. Go delete it I reckon. I thought about it for days after. Did you really? Yeah I was like oh. I do hear that sometimes that people have those moments. Do you feel, it was good. It was really good.

I love listening to those podcasts. I actually think it was really good. I don't think I like doing them because I walk away going, oh, I just talked about myself the whole time. How arrogant, that's the point. That's the whole point of the podcast. And look, to be honest, like if you do a podcast with me, there is absolutely no way that I allowed you to just talk about yourself the whole time.

That is not what, not once have I ever, I think I've got every sort of bit of feedback, but the only bit of feedback I've ever got in 30 years of comedy was I feel like you weren't in that enough. So it's probably fun. It's good. It's good. It must be coming out very soon.

It might already be out when we're here, but go check it out in the feed. Thanks so much for listening everybody. Please give us a five star review if you want. Friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy the show, cheers for tuning in thanks so much for joining us everyone. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart now that you know it I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye! Yeah, so any questions? You do a thing, we do a thing. Yes, that's all I do. You read out the things, we guess the thing.

That's it. The hardest bit for me will be writing the thing. Oh yeah. The rest of it I feel like I'll be okay with, right? Yeah, yeah. That's a, you know, there's a little bit of it you got to get into their heads. I'm not going to be getting into anyone's head. I'm concentrating on just accomplishing the task that has been set in front of me. Mind games are for people who've played before.

But I feel like day one I'm just... I think I'm only thinking that because when Charlie was on he slipped straight into mind games. Yeah Yeah, but that would have been more his approach would have been 100% mind games But the great thing about Charlie playing mind games is I'm not sure Charlie understands his own mind I've played this so many times last time was the first time I did any kind of mind game and that was just trying to Convince somebody of my answer. Yeah, time was the first time I did any kind of mind game. And that was just trying to convince somebody of my answer. Yeah. It was the first time I did it and I felt sick. I was like, Oh, so sorry. Did you succeed?

Yeah, I did actually. Okay. I'll watch out for you then. Um, is there a chance I could get a glass of water? Yeah. If we start. Sorry. I don't mean to bear pain, but I know that that's going to become an issue for me.

So I might as well. No, we always sit here with our large water bottles, sucking it down. I once, so I recently did a popular television game show franchise, comedic game show franchise. And the thing that I learned from that is don't try to concentrate on heaps of things at the same time. Just really try to concentrate on heaps of things at the same time.

Just really try to accomplish the task that has been set for you here. Don't try to think your way out of that. Add a whole different layer of what else could be going on. More than like there is, there is, but it's never the thing you think it is. So you might as well just not even think about it. You should just live with the fact that you know something is happening that you don't understand. But if you try to guess what it is, the chances are you'll just guess something else that

even make yourself look more ridiculous. Way ahead of you there, aren't you? Clear bait, man. Oh, that's good. Oh, my God. It all means nothing. That's great. Thank you, man.

No worries. It's a nothing. That's great. Thank you No worries, it's a Beck a Beck thing. She's always got one in the fridge ready to go All right sick ready to go ready Again backs got them ready to go man that is like the worst studio etiquette though right, isn't it? Like don't you think? There's no like actual connecting there. I mean I know but still it does still feel like. Done.

I mean yeah honestly it does feel like that now. I was like already I've got my glasses out. I'm like I've said to, I don't have Facebook Messenger. I think there's something I type it on the phone I suppose. And I can send it to you in your WhatsApp applications. I think Facebook though is like the oldest person social media anyway. I think that makes you seem... Yeah, yeah, it's cool to be off. Not on Facebook, I think.

Oh, I'm not cool though. I'm resigned to that fact, that's okay. I'm still trying. I'll get it one day. I reckon there was a brief period I was. Like other people tell me, Yeah, and you missed it. They're like, you're cool.

You're cool. And I was like, when? Oh no. I missed it when I've seen photos from the year is I can't imagine do the Taylor Swift style errors festival show you come out through your different fashions over the years. So next year is someone did an eras thing in Adelaide. I don't know who it was one of the Adelaide Jason Prestel or whatever. Oh yeah. That's not quite his name but so next year not next year but the year after because it's just weird maths on I did the festival one year before I down.

Like did a show it's 30 years of shows Nick not next year the I got but this is my 29th show this year so. So anyway I'm gonna probably just to me in Probshow next year like a small scale and then come back and do like a 30 years 30 shows sort of thing the year after so that it all just sort of lines up. You don't mean you're doing all... No, but I don't know what that means. I don't know what I would do, but something that is around that like inspired by that. I have to kind of start thinking of I've literally scribbling notes about it by your bins at the bottom of your stairs. Somebody else who was working here came in the door and I'm just there leaning on the bins scribbling. Because you know when something just comes to your mind and you're like, I might as well get this out while I'm here. This just sees me by the bins in like your car park. You know what I mean? It's so dodgy.

It just seems to go well for Willow. The way you're acting out sounds like you're riding on the bin. You're like, oh, I'll just ride it here. I mean, well, she's a young person. She's like, what is he doing? Like, I could have put it on my notes app on my phone or something. No. Riding on a bin.

Anyway, I've spilled all my drinks. I've got all my drinks. I've got my glasses out. We're OK. I'm bloody ready to go. All right. They speak English. So I was in Macau when David Bowie died.

I just specifically remember that because a friend of mine, it was running entertainment at one of the casinos over there, like booking bands and stuff. And he was like, there was a big Batman. They had this Batman interactive, like, like, you know, 5D rides sort of thing. What's the 5D? What's that boss? I don't know, just like Batman's dick or something. Anyway, it's this amazing, like, you know, they've spent, like, it's a casino. So they've spent, you know, like a ridiculous Vegas style attraction, right?

And they just opened it. And the same people who did all like the, you know, movie, like the American Universal Studios and whatever. It's like one of those big sort of those these things. And he said, so you should come over and see it. And I was like, he said, we'll hook you up and, you know, come over and see it. So we went over for the weekend to see this guy, this Batman, right? It is an amazing place. Like it's because it's all just casinos, basically.

Oh, wow. It's all this international. They've got some weird, you know, international gaming laws. So, yeah, it's like the Vegas of the world sort of thing. It's like the Vegas of the world. I'm sure at some stage they have used absolutely that expression. I would say it's like Vegas is going going we're also part of the world. Shut up Vegas. Shut up Vegas. That's great but I suppose like if you were trying to translate we're not here to fuck spiders into another language. Yeah. It would be hard to figure out

what that means. That is true. Just makes sense to us. Yes. Wait so I hope you heard about Bowie after you did the ride cause I'm picturing you on the Batman ride being like, oh, this is real bummer. Oh Bowie. No, I remember distinctly what it was cause the first thing that we did when we got there was when on the Batman ride.

First thing. Off a plane. Before we checked into our hotel room. You took a suitcase on the ride. Gave him the suitcase, dropped him at the door, and the hotel room wasn't available for a few more hours. And I said, this is Batman Rider time. No, I remember finding out that night.

And I remember it distinctly because just we, one of those just weird coincidences, the person who checked us into our hotel room, their name was also Bowie. It was the same day. And we had the person who checked us into our hotel room, their name was also Bowie. Oh. It was the same day and we had the person who checked us into the hotel room's name was Bowie. Deep down, did you think that you killed Bowie somehow? Somehow you were part of it?

You know, like Justin Hamilton, he's my best friend. He loves David Bowie, like talks about David Bowie as being his dad. Does he love Batman as well? And that mantra. Yeah, it's true. But, you know, if I killed David Bowie, like I mean, I don't think that would ruin my best friendship. Among other things. Wouldn't it get in general? If I killed David Bowie. If it came out. That's the name of your book.

If I killed David Bowie. Here's how I would have done it. If I did. The only reason I didn't kill David Bowie all those years was because of my best friendship. Apart from that, I definitely would have done it. For sure, I was absolutely the time it happened on a Batman ride in Macau. No way near. This is the most insane alibi.

How could I have killed Bowie? I was on a Batman ride in Macau. It was 5D. Check him with Bowie. Check the security footage. Well technically they didn't check in. They had time. I wonder if Siraj must have been on the Macau Batman ride. have been on the Macau Batman ride. Did you ever go on the Batman ride?

He would have. He definitely would have. It looks like, based on a quick Google, well it looks like you were given an extra D. Normally it's only four Ds, so you're made over there really pulled out all stops. I might have added an extra D to the story when I was... No, if you were there for the grand opening, they'd give you the extra D. Are they one of the teams that's had their name changed? The Indians?

Or are they still the Indians? Hmm. Feels like they should. Yeah, they have. They're the Guardians now. Of the galaxy? Yeah. They should change that again. Guardians doesn't feel like... That feels a bit weird too, doesn't it?

Yeah, the ones that they've... Like, the Washington who were the Redskins are now the Commanders. They feel like they've gone... They're like, alright, we're not taking any chance we're going to go for the blandest corporate sounding name guardians or commanders like what do you do with that. Cancel us for that. Yeah the triggered yeah that's a real right energy. Real right energy. Yeah, well there you go. We kind of funny

That's what you want boys, that's what you love can't say anything can't say anything can't even call our baseball team Indians Right world Great. World. Luckily the Super Bowl champions are still doing their, their, what they call it? The something chop where the whole crowd goes. Oh yeah, the Tomahawk. The Tomahawk chop. Yeah. Oh right. Yeah.

That's good fun stuff. It's good fun stuff. Well it's like, this chop could be from any culture. Yeah, that's good fun stuff. It's good fun stuff. This chop could be from any culture. Yeah, exactly. Just call it the chop. Yeah. Not as good. This is kind of actually a tradition of ours.

That would be disrespectful to our traditions. My apologies. We've done it for ages. Why don't we just call it the wave and then we can just do the wave? Why do we have to get Mexico involved? I forgot what we were doing here for a second. Who knew it with Matt Stewart? Oh, okay.

You know much about Nemo, not Nemo, Dave? Like... Because you're a nerd. Well, yeah, because I mean you like, you like X-Files type stuff. Yeah, I've never watched Star Trek though, any of the... I'd be keen to check it out. You know, some people say it's the best of sci-fi ever, but... Yeah, right.

But yeah, the thing you probably think of most is his most famous line, Oh, didn't I? Yeah, that's right. I love his work on The Simpsons. That's my greatest connection to him. Is that the monorail episode? Yeah.

Yes, it is. But you didn't, yeah, my work here is done. But you didn't do anything. Do you kind of know Brian, right? Yeah, heBrien write the monorail episode of The Ashes? He's good at comedy. He goes around. He's done quite well for himself. It's like one of those like internet things that happened recently where everyone was like, you know, reposting Conan O'Brien clips.

And it was one of those things where normally when that happens, we're like, oh, post your favourite thing from this show. And a while I'm like oh man I hate that show. Yeah. Whereas like every time someone posted a new Connor and Brian thing I was like this guy is actually just the funniest man on the internet. So good. Everything he's ever done is funny. God that must be nice. Right?

Never misses. Oh man. There's got to be something going on right now. Yeah. Though. Surely. Can't be that good all the time. No.

I just realized I have the old man typing sound on my phone. It's really like when everyone went silent. It was real obvious that I was doing some real old man typing on my phone. And that made me feel old. Just had a real moment of self-awareness that I did not enjoy. And I don't know how to turn it off. So it's gotta keep going. I'll turn mine on in solidarity. Thank you.

No, mine's turned off. I tried it and unfortunately I've changed the settings so that I'm not an old man. Sorry. Oh, so everyone's got their answers in. Which one was yours, Dave? The not boring one. OK. That's pretty boring.

It's a TV movie. It has to be a bit boring. Yeah, it can't be too exciting. It's not going to have a high budget and some action sequences, is it? It can't. It can't. It simply can't be too bad. Yeah, it can't be too exciting. It's not gonna have a high budget and some action sequences, is it? It can't. It can't, it simply can't. Doesn't make sense. What year was it again, Matt?

2011. 2011. 20. A beautiful year. The year is 2011. Yeah, this episode's been very heavy in whatever that decade's called. Yeah. The twin, the.

That's the tens? The tens. The tens. Doesn't feel quite right. But I don't like the. The 2010s. 2010s maybe, yeah. 2010s, but I don't like that we're in the 20s now.

The 2020s. Yeah, I don't want to call it the 20s. That's for 19. Nah, that's true, right? The roaring 20s. Yeah. We're not roaring now. We've already had the 20s. Yeah. Yeah, that was better the first time. Yeah. Now, that's true, right? The roaring 20s. Yeah, we're not roaring now. We've already had the 20s.

Yeah. That was better the first time. Yeah, now this isn't roaring. Nah, it's boring apparently. This is the boring 20s. The boring 20s. I'm pretty bored. Yeah.

Have your shows been good Will? I have loved this show. So good. More than anything else I reckon I've ever done. I don't think I've ever had more fun doing a show than I've been doing this show. That's great. It's one of those things where I, you know, I kind of, I worked sort of on a framework, a story, so that I wanted to do something so that every night might I always think that the things I enjoy the most when I'm doing a show is if I can capture something that if someone was there that night. They would be able to say I saw you the night that the end it might only be a small detail or something or an energy or whatever but I'd be able to identify what the shows are and I think that.

but I'd be able to identify what the shows are. And I think that, like, this is really wanky, but like, I really do think that I'm at my best when the show for me is just something I use to entertain the audience, right? As opposed to the show being this thing that is like protected in its own environment and must be told exactly the same way every night. I actually feel like the show is more like,

it's my, like if I'm like a cricketer or whatever it's all the shots that I have to play and I want to play them vaguely in the right order but I'm also gonna adjust to the conditions of what else is going on and if I'm in the moment doing that with the show I just every night just discover like I have to cut stuff and then it just expands again because you just because you're so in the moment and in the routines You just new bits keep coming to you every night and you're like, oh, I thought this bit was done Yeah, and then suddenly there's just like a whole like there was just this riff last night that I did about being in the generation between when teachers hit you when they hit you at school and when they

Stopped hitting you at school. Like I lived through that entire period. So I lived through the, can we not just hit them softer? Yeah. That was a period where that was like, you can't hit them with your main hand. Yeah. Now only the boys. Now you can only hit boys. It was a real phasing out. A non-dominant hand hit was OK.

That was so funny. That was the measurement of like how hard you were allowed to hit. It's just so weird to think about that. And it was just a riff, but I was like, oh, that's a whole idea. And it's felt like one of those shows where every night something like that happens in the show. We're just like, oh, this is nice to feel creative within. And they just do the show.

You can tell that they know. And you know that when you try and recreate some of those bits and then you're like I said that almost word for word you mean tonight when I try to do that for the second time rather than the magic time it just came out good luck to us all. Was there a time where teachers were allowed to hit you only if they'd sat on their hand till it was Norman called up a stranger? Yeah, because they couldn't do it. It wasn't my hand, I couldn't feel it. The stranger. A stranger hit the kid.

Yeah, that wasn't me. But if you used your non-dominant hand enough times, I mean, you get pretty good with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then suddenly you've got two equal hands. They would occasionally check in to see which was still your dominant. That's right.