Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 87 - Cass Paige, Joel Duscher, Jackson Baly and Hayden Bleechmore
Episode Date: May 13, 2024Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Sanspants Radio stars Cass Paige, Joel Duscher, Jackson Baly and Hayden Bl...eechmore!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey, welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart.
And this is not Matt Stewart, this is Siren Jai Manna.
We're in Sydney, we're about to be in Brisbane.
We're doing live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart in both those cities.
And we're also doing our stand-up shows, Dry Dry, is that right?
That is correct.
Who Knew It with Matt Stewart and also Dry Dry in Sydney at the Manning Bar
and in Brisbane at the Beautiful Powerhouse.
Oh, so good.
And you're doing the Who Knew It at the Chippo and at the the Good Chat Comedy. Anyway we'd love to see you there, it'd be
fantastic.
Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart the show where the guests write the wrong
answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our guests this week are all stars of the
Sands Pants Radio Network. It's Cas Page, Jackson Bailey, Joel Duescher
and Hayden Bleachmore.
Hello.
Hey, what's up, baby?
It's good that we all said hello at the same time.
So no one knows who's who.
We don't need to, we're saving time.
If I said hello, how are they gonna be like,
oh, that's Jackson?
Well, cause you would say, hello, I'm Jackson.
Oh, we can all say hello at the same time.
Hello, I'm Jackson.
Okay, one, two, three. Hello, I'm Jackson. Oh, I see. We can all say hello at the same time. Hello, I'm Jackson. Okay, one, two, three.
Hello, I'm Jackson.
Oh, I'm Jackson, yeah.
Well that, no, I pointed at Jackson
if that helped anyone.
That's Jackson.
Yeah, that one's Jackson.
Jackson's the one sitting next to me.
Yeah, okay.
I'm between Dusha and Hayden.
That is a very good point,
because this is maybe the first time
I've just introduced everyone at once.
Yeah. Yes.
Ah, and now I remember why I didn't introduce you.
Yeah.
Tell Dusha.
Hey, thanks for having me.
Jackson Bailey.
Hey, thanks for having me.
Hayden Bleachbourne.
Hey, thanks for having me.
Hey, thanks for having me.
I'm so glad we did that.
Hey, thanks for having me.
Yes.
I think I mispronounced hey, but that's okay.
You'll fix it in person.
This is the first time I've had four guests.
It's exciting.
Because of that, I've taken out one of the house's answers.
So it's harder for the house than ever.
Oh, we might get the house this time.
I like the house.
Well, me, I think the first step,
one of the first episodes of this I was on
was the first time the house won and we were ecstatic.
You would love the house.
Why?
So through the roof. Yeah, of course. I can hear some love the house. So through the roof.
You can hear some of the house answers though.
They're good stuff.
They call this olive.
It's great to hear the house.
The house advantage is the house has time
to write the answers.
Yeah.
Really infinite time.
You could take as much time as you like.
There's actually no time or all the time.
When that's right, the answer.
That could be a good stretch.
You could take like half an hour.
You'd wreck the game, but you could do it.
You could just get Connor to edit it out. Anything happens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you'd wreck the game, but you can get kind of edited out
But I you you might think that I have an infinite time. Mm-hmm. I do not use infinite time
Right. I promise you got stuff going on
Cass you and I tonight the day this comes out we're in Sydney. We're recording this in Sydney actually
But tonight we're doing a live,
who knew it at the chip 07 PM.
We are doing it all over again. Oh, it's going to be so good.
Do you think you feel up for doing it again? Oh yeah. I feel this is,
this is like my pre-training. Yeah. My pre-game.
I've not really much of a sportsman,
but I think if you, it's something you have to do more than once, right?
To be good at. So yeah, this is, I do this first
and then later I'm really good at it.
Yes. So if you come tonight,
you'll see Cas being really good at this.
That's her guarantee.
Please come along.
And I'll be watching it like a sport in the audience,
drinking as many beers as I can.
So it's just like going to the footy with me.
Can I get on the rider?
Yeah.
Can they bring beers onto the stage for us?
Yeah.
Hayden can bring us our beers.
Yeah.
Can someone deliver me a schnitzel?
I'll do that.
Thank you.
I'll be on schnitzel duty.
Fantastic.
Oh, and we're going to be in Brisbane.
I say we, I don't know what cast is up to,
but that's a secret.
But tomorrow night, live show in Brisbane,
a good chat comedy.
So that'd be so good to see you there.
All right.
So the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer
I then read their answers as well as a real one and then they have to guess which one is correct and the first
question comes from listener Nathan the Lang from Edinburgh in Scotland and
Nathan's question is what does the Scottish term?
Haver mean what is the Scottish term? Haver What does the Scottish term haver mean?
Can I get a spelling of haver?
H-A-V-E-R.
Are you embarrassed?
I'm so, we're recording in our accommodation in Sydney.
Listeners, I'm talking to the listeners.
Cass looked at me like, sorry,
you have to pay attention, but you don't.
I have to pay attention.
I want to know where we're recording from.
Where am I?
Just wait.
When it adds to build studios, I don't have to worry about any of this shit.
There's so many cables on the table.
I'm recording across two separate devices.
I can I'm only monitoring one by headphones, so I'm
just nervous that I'm fucking something up.
Anyway while they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring
works so you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other
contestant another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way I'm
also playing as the house and I've put in one of my own fake answers for each
question with the help of the question writers and I get a point for each one
of these that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to four points per round, I think.
Whoa.
Holy moly.
Yeah.
So if someone doesn't get a record-breaking score today.
That would be-
That would be embarrassing. Pathetic.
Yeah.
I hope it's the house.
I've changed teams.
See, now when you hear the introduction of the house,
you're team house, right?
You're like, the house is good.
I think because you guys are all on team house,
I got a bit of FOMO. It's nice. House, house, house, you team house, right? I think because you guys are all on team house, I got a bit of FOMO.
It's nice.
House, house, house, house, house, house.
I've come around to being on the listener's side now.
I want the listeners to win.
As long as we're enemies, that's fine.
And if the listeners win, that means that the truth wins.
Cause that means that everyone gets the right,
like pick the right answer to the question.
Or does it mean we all got it wrong?
Wrong.
It could be a way I think that no one ever gets the mean we all got it wrong? Wrong. Yeah.
It could be a way, I think that no one ever gets the-
Maybe I'm anti-intelligence.
Yeah.
That seems about right.
That checks out.
You're hoping for goobification.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think of the listeners as part of the house.
They're all inside the same four walls.
You're the house and they're the family living in the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a beautiful picture if you really picture it.
Yeah.
This is a lot of people.
Why do you have to shrink them down?
It's a house.
To get in mad.
He's the house.
Oh, you're the, okay.
What about not just sketchily big then
so that people can say normal size.
That's smart.
That is smart.
You just build a bigger house.
You don't have to shrink a person.
That's true.
Make me bigger and more house like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give him walls. He's got walls. That's true. Bigger and more housework. Yeah. Yeah. Give him walls.
He's got walls.
That's the one thing he sort of got sorted.
Oh, you have a roof?
Uh, top of the house.
The inside of the house is the top of the dome.
Are you saying we have to make the inside of the house
bigger, believe the outside as it is.
What? No, I'm saying he's got walls as a man.
As a man, you've got stuff to keep.
Men have walls. If you were inside a man, you wouldn't be like,
oh, there's no walls.
You're in, you're inside.
You'd be like, oh, there's no couch or bed.
Yeah.
Or windows.
You need more walls.
Yeah.
For privacy.
I'd burst out of a man.
Inside the belly of a fully grown man is quite private.
It's quite private, but-
There's a lot of people in there.
Matt's not big enough for me to live in him.
So he'd need more walls.
He'd need to-
She is trying to get you on a technicality here.
I'm tired of this conversation.
I will just put it to bed with no man is an island,
but every man can be a house.
Okay.
Putting it to bed would be a great thing to do
inside the house.
Yeah, that's true.
We're back.
Anyway, so how would you make a man up?
Do I have a pelvic floor?
Is that?
Yeah, that is your floor.
Yeah, yeah.
Kegel right now.
Uh,
It's all Kegel.
I think I'm doing it.
I don't know what a Kegel is.
I'm giggling.
I'm Kegelin.
I'm Kegelin.
Feels awesome.
Yeah, of course.
All right.
The answers are in for question number one.
Four was too many.
No, that's for 10 minutes in and we're all key going.
What does the Scottish term haver mean?
A good rock for skipping across a lake.
A word for when you look over at the horizon
and the sun glitters over the water.
To talk nonsense or ramble on, AKA talk shit.
A kind of primitive blunt ax
used for killing feral farm animals.
Not the nice ones.
Yeah, so it gets like a donkey that's-
That gets loose.
Gorn rogue.
As soon as it crosses the fence, it's blunt ax.
Speaking of donkeys,
a small weak donkey that is unfit for farm work or to be bearded. Well, if you haven't fellas here today, that's rare for
a podcast too. Yeah. It's so tricky. Talking shite feels right. I just don't think he's
talking. Hey, no, see, I'm, I'm on board with this because like,
he's having me on.
Haver is spelled the same as Haver.
Yeah.
Having, I am like, I'm happy to just like power
through this round and lock that in.
Yeah, I'm gonna lock that in.
As a family?
No, we're not a team.
Well, why are we talking like a team?
Because we're gonna let people,
what do you think the podcast is?
I think we should sit quietly
and think about our answers.
No, you gotta do your thinking out loud
so listeners can get into your mindset
and be like, this guy is an idiot.
I like the rock one,
but it does feel like an answer that Cass would write
because she love rocks.
Insane.
I do really like rocks though.
I tried to make a list of things I like recently.
So that if I-
That's normal stuff to do.
What?
Cause you know when you don't know what to do
and it feels like you're gonna explode.
But on the top of the list is like holding a rock.
Yeah, well it doesn't-
That's the top of, sorry.
That's the top of your list of things you can do
with your time is to hold a rock.
The list is things I like.
And I think, yeah, number one is holding a rock.
That's like the best thing for you to experience.
Holding a rock.
But isn't that bad?
You can ride a jet ski in this life.
I think Hayden, that should steer you away from his answer
because this answer is about throwing rocks away.
Yeah, that's true.
Removing rocks from below.
I'm gonna lock in the rock one.
That's actually in Cas's bottom five.
Yeah, I'm locking in a talking shade.
Yeah, me too.
He's doing it to pop up having a haver.
Yeah.
You can imagine saying that.
Oh, he's haver.
He's having a haver at the pub.
Now imagine walking along and telling me that
with your haver.
You know, walking along the beach.
I'm sick of you talking shite.
The discrepancy of the quality of Scottish accents there
was wild.
That's really special.
I don't know why I ever do accents
because it was a very big rule of mine
to never try and do a voice ever
because I'm so bad at all.
I love it though, I love your persistence.
So good to listen to it.
I think every answer you should do an accent
and I'm also going with Haver.
Never in my entire existence.
You're answering with the question.
Actually, do you want to change mine?
That was the question.
Yeah, what do you think Haver means though?
The shite one, I knew it.
I was nearly like rocks.
All right. Here's the right, the answers.
To be bearded. That was Dusha.
Okay.
Can you say that in a Scottish accent for us?
To be bearded.
That's actually not that bad.
Yeah.
Do English.
Come on.
Yes.
I forgot, cause I'm just on, which English as well.
Yeah. It's got so many to pick from.
English is the one I usually go to
cause on our podcast,
Palm in the Death Star that I do with Jackson,
we almost exclusively mock the English.
That's the podcast now.
We don't respect the royal family.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
A small, weak donkey that doesn't fit for farm work.
That was Hayden.
Oh, I was so close to picking that.
Yeah, thank you.
There were two donkey answers in there.
Thank you for nearly picking my answer.
The feral farm one, the fact this is feral
and farm animal makes me think that it was you, Jackson.
And it was.
There's no understanding really of what feral means.
Well, no, cause initially it was gonna be
for killing feral dogs.
That's too sad.
Feral farm animals is funny.
Very easy to guess that's yours.
Killing dogs, Jackson.
Rowing feral dogs, like that could be Jackson. But I think if you went, so feral farm animals, I was like, that's it's Jackson. Rowing feral dogs, be like that could be Jackson.
But I think if you went,
so feral farm animals,
I was like, that's definitely Jackson.
If it said feral dogs,
that could have also been me.
Yeah, it's true.
It would have been so obvious
that it was someone here at this table
was talking about killing dogs.
Absolutely.
When you look at the horizon,
the sun glitters over the water.
That was Nathan, the question writer,
AKA the house.
Gorgeous imagery.
Thank you for making us think of that.
A good rock for skipping across a lake.
I mean, that might be glittering.
Hayden went for that.
That was Cass.
Yeah.
I mean, I called it.
Do I get a point for that?
No.
I said it would be Cass's.
Can I get a high point?
Cass was like, gave it away when you were like,
that sounds like Cass.
And then she looked very offended,
even though of course it was Cass.
And then just before when Cas was giving her answer,
she said, I nearly went for the rock one.
As though that would have been bad for any reason
other than obviously because it was hers.
You fucked up man.
Yeah dude, shut up.
I know this is your first 10 minutes of this podcast,
but you're probably in the bottom five guests so far.
I've been doing 10 minutes, it feels like we've been
doing for hours.
I'm like, fuck, it's dragging, so tedious.
Well that means, so good to have you on Hayden.
That means everyone but Hayden and the house
get a point there and Cass gets two points.
So were we right?
Did we get the right answer?
Yeah.
You got the right answer.
Just to talk nonsense or ramble on, okay.
Talk shot.
Thanks for, that is one of the key bits of the show
is to say which one was correct.
Well, I inferred it, but you know,
it was good to get it confirmed.
Here we go to question number two.
This one comes from Caitlin Dowden from Adelaide.
Great name.
And the question is, which of these is a real type of fungi?
Yeah.
Or apparently some scientists say fungi.
Oh, they shouldn't be doing that.
Yeah. Yeah.
So we're coming out with a fungus name?
Yeah. Fake. Okay.
A fake fungus.
Okay. Wait, hang on. Which one of these is a fake?
No, that doesn't work.
Real fungus.
So we make a fake fungus.
You all put up fake ones. The real one will be in there and then you pick.
While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Haver.
According to Nathan, this word perhaps most famously appears in the lyrics to the Proclaimers
hit song, I'm Gonna Be 500 Miles.
The song hit the charts in America after it was featured in the soundtrack to the Johnny
Depp movie, Benny and June.
I just need you to know that if you had said Mordecai there, the entire episode would have
fallen off a cliff.
Lucky.
Very lucky.
Jackson and I have been with Mordecai mad at the moment.
And there's a chance that the carpenter song could have been in Mordecai.
Absolutely.
Isn't aware of Mordecai and I've stopped writing my answer, but haven't sent it yet.
So I'm just going to fill you in on Mordecai before I continue playing the game.
It's like a 2015, it was meant to be like a funny spy comedy starring Johnny Depp.
And they were really, really confident in how well it was going to perform.
But it's nothing.
Thank God you didn't mention Mordecai.
Real, real hard.
He does a funny voice, but it's not that funny.
It's crazy.
Hey, can we get a, what is that funny voice like?
Yeah.
I honestly can't remember how it goes because it's not that funny. It's crazy. What does that funny voice like?
I honestly can't remember how it goes.
Cause it's not memorable.
Yeah, that is true.
He is right.
I can't even remember how Mordecai sounds.
Okay. Well, can you try an Irish accent then?
Yeah.
No.
No Italian. You can do Italian.
Yeah, do Italian.
I don't think any of you can give me the Italian pass.
Adam's giving you the pass.
Yeah.
I'm one quarter Swiss Italian.
So you're quarter Swiss Italian.
So you're one eighth Italian.
Malta, Benny.
All right, answering for question number two,
which of these is a real type of fungi?
Booger fungus.
Jackson.
That seems Hayden.
Yeah.
I think you were burying the lead.
Yeah, suspicious. Wouldn't that be, what a great strategy that would be to still say it's made up. That seems Hayden. Yeah. I think you were burying the lead. Yeah. Suspicious.
Wouldn't that be, what a great strategy that would be
to still say it's made up.
Just an up one, mate.
Immediately call it out.
Pick it, cause it's definitely Jackson.
So that's option one.
The dankness.
Oh, that one's definitely correct.
Trying a new strat.
Tongue mushroom.
Yeah. Tongue mushroom. Tongue mushroom. Yeah.
Tongue mushroom.
Tongue mushroom.
Cheeky biscuits.
Cheeky biscuits?
Giant's toenail or the splendid spotted gentleman.
These are all, I don't like the first one.
But I really like the first one.
Oh.
I really like giantants toenail.
I think I'm going to go Giants toenail.
That one does feel real.
It does.
What was the one before it?
Cheeky biscuits.
No.
Can we get them all again?
Please.
Book of fungus.
No, that one could be.
Hang on.
The dankness, tongue mushroom, cheeky biscuits,
Giants toenail or the splendid spotted gentleman.
Tongue mushroom could also be a mushroom.
Yeah, because it's like freaky.
And when you put it amongst fake ones,
that one sounds really fake.
But if you were just like looking at a book
and there was a picture of a mushroom,
it was like, this is the tongue fungus.
It's pink, like a human tongue.
You'd be like, I believe that.
You'd be like, yeah.
Tongus, yeah, tongus.
Tongus.
I reckon it's your crack first, Jackson.
I'm gonna go giant's toe now.
Yeah.
Is it because you love to revel in boring answers?
Yes.
That's what I picked.
That's so magic.
Caspick for that one.
Yeah, I've been scammed.
What do you think Hayden?
I mean, booger's pretty good.
I might not go with it this time.
But I'm only just not doing it.
I might do the splendid spotted gentlemen.
Okay.
Locking that in for Hayden, Cass.
Giants, toenail.
I think that's fun.
Ooh.
I think it's fun.
But it's not Cass' fake answer,
which means the splendid spotted gentleman might be.
Splendid spotted gentleman doesn't feel like a name.
It's too long for a fungus to get that name.
It would be like the speckled dash spotted dash.
Oh yeah, true, true, true.
Wouldn't have dashes.
You have dashes and shit all the time, dude.
You gotta read more books.
You don't know anything about mushrooms.
I know heaps about mushrooms.
You know nothing.
Do they all have dashes in them?
No, they don't all have dashes,
but as in like the scientific-
Name three mushrooms that have dashes in them.
Things have dashes, like as in like the official name of things has dashes.
Like name one official name that has a dash.
How about JD Sack, as you can imagine,
say there's a mushroom that many different people
have called both splendid and spotted.
Are you confusing a dash with a slash?
No, slash is not in a thing.
He might be confusing them, but I mean, like,
even like those-
Guns and Roses.
That doesn't have anything.
Do you mean ACDC?
That's a slash.
No it's-
Oh.
Very good.
Yeah, we got us there.
I hope the house loses today.
No, no, sorry.
ACDC also does.
That's a lightning bolt I think.
Oh yeah, that's my mistake.
Yeah.
Who's up to guess the answer?
It's you.
It's just me.
So there's Booger. That's an answer.
That's an option.
I was hearing about booger as well.
People have been saying boogers sounds real.
I'm not enjoying it.
The dankness.
That's fake.
Tongue mushroom.
Tongue mushroom.
Boogers real gross.
I'd go with tongue mushroom.
Oh, okay.
Oh, now I'm confused.
And then there was the Giants toenail,
which I from the get-go thought was real.
Yeah.
Cheeky biscuits. Cheeky biscuits.
I think you could probably split these up into two,
gross and cute.
Yeah. Which way you're leaning.
Well, I'm going to go with probably the least gross
of the gross and go Giants toenail as well.
I feel like it's real.
Yeah. I feel like it's real too.
All right.
I just, you can imagine a little fungus sticking out and stumbling across it in the field and being like,
Oh, just like a giant stone.
And the only person I thought that would have written this
that's in the room with us is Cass and Cass picked it.
So it can't be Cass's answer.
Unless I'm really playing.
Playing a long game.
Playing a long game.
I come out net zero.
Are you allowed to guess your own answer?
What happens?
No, can't do it.
Okay.
I'll let you muck around with it for a bit, but when it's really, when it's really, when it's really, Playing a long game. I come out net zero. Are you allowed to guess your own answer? What happens? No, can't do it.
Okay.
I'll let you muck around with it for a bit,
but when it's really,
when it's time to be like, what are you actually?
Yeah.
I'll be like Hayden.
Yeah.
Stop.
You're stuffing up the data.
Hayden, shut up.
I know that this is a game we're all having fun,
but you're wrecking it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
He's the one who wrote the answers. Booker fungus. wrecking it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Who's wrote the answers?
Book of fungus.
That was Jackson.
Yeah, that was me.
Oh, that's-
And Jackson also, he gave a description as well.
I wasn't sure how detailed your remote to go.
A pallid grain fungus, deeply poisonous.
I thought maybe-
Deeply poisonous.
Deeply poisonous.
You have a way with words.
Really like deeply-
A bit wrong sounds right for about half a way with words.
Sounds right for about half a second.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, those AI generated images where you think you're looking at a room and
then you lose your mind.
And then you look at the hands and you go, Oh, this is not right at all.
No, it looks like a pile of things and then you can't identify a single object.
Yeah.
It's like, am I having a stroke?
Yeah.
Cheeky biscuits, that was Caitlin,
okay, the how.
Nice.
The splendid spotted gentleman, which Hayden went for,
that was Cass, that's two in a row.
You keep getting tricked by Cass, that's so funny.
Is it public knowledge that you have shared DNA?
Yes, it is.
Because we're not related, but just coincidence.
Yeah, one of the odds.
She's in your head so far, that's two from two.
Yeah, all the cysticus. Yeah, bro. You guys just wait. Yeah. One of the odds. She's in your head so far. That's two from two. Yeah.
All the sister curse.
Yeah, bro.
You guys just wait.
Yeah.
More four.
What did you fasted not pick yours, the dankness?
How about just wait?
The dankness was Jodusha.
Really?
Giant's toenail.
That was Hayden.
No!
No!
I played you all like a fricking fiddle.
Okay.
Oh, booger's my answer.
Pick booger as of Josh.
That means it was tongue mushroom.
God, it was tongue mushroom.
He was so close.
And I picked that out and was like,
this is why it's probably that.
I literally said to you, I'd go with tongue mushroom.
Yeah.
And you said, well now I'm confused.
And I was confused.
That feels like leading the witness a little bit.
The host is saying you should pick the right answer.
Can you throw a bit of that my way?
I mean, it had the exact opposite.
I'll do it, but will I be telling the truth?
Oh my God.
And also you just got three points.
Just do it.
So complain.
When you tell the truth.
You're winning.
Yeah, true.
That's crazy, dude.
That's so crazy what just happened.
I'm deep in mind games.
I'm levels and levels.
I'm 10 steps ahead.
Yeah.
Just a connection there was strong.
Hayden's in everyone's head, Cass is in Hayden's head,
me and Jackson know that.
Nothing in our heads, I just know what's next.
That's beating you the correct answers,
you're still ignoring it.
Face it the wrong way, don't even know where I am.
So that's three points to Hayden and one point to Cass.
Meaning after two rounds,
we've got the house still yet to score.
Dutra on one, Jackson on one, but out in front,
it's the dynamic sibling duo of Hayden and Cass.
All right.
On four points.
We should form an alliance.
Three points.
We should form an alliance.
Yeah dude, we'll get it wrong.
A beautiful wind tunnel.
All right, question number three comes from Camila
from Brooklyn, New York.
Gorgeous.
And yeah, for people sending in questions.
I'm joking, sorry, can you do a Brooklyn accent?
Absolutely not.
What?
Just try.
No.
What if you were walking here?
Yeah, what would happen if you were walking?
Hey, slice of pizza.
Yeah, what about-
Hey, I'm walking here.
Yeah.
That is pretty good.
That's beautiful.
All right.
So Camille's question is,
which of these was a real campaign slogan
used by US presidential candidate, Alfred M. Landon?
Okay, so this is wild because off mic,
we were just talking about the news that's just come out
that Robert Kennedy Jr. has come out and officially said,
I'm still running for president,
even though a worm has eaten part of my brain
and died in my brain and I cannot get the worm out
of my brain.
The worm's still there,
but I'm still running for president.
The worm will not make me a worse president.
Yeah, that's awesome.
That was rough.
I'm really getting ahead of the worm stuff
because there's no way he would have said that
if he was confident it wasn't gonna come out.
Exactly.
It's like I've told too many people in my life
about the worm.
I gotta get on top of the worm discourse.
Does that mean if he's elected
then the worm is technically president as well?
I guess, yeah, partly.
That's cool.
They're gonna have a worm president for a woman president.
Oh my God, the first worm.
They didn't get a woman president,
they got a worm president.
The worm could be a woman, we don't know.
We don't know.
That would be so funny if the first female president was a worm.
A dead worm.
Yeah.
Damn.
Who ate really well?
Did they have a year on it?
What was the, can you read the question again, please?
There wasn't a year, but yeah, which of these was a real campaign slogan used by US presidential
candidate Alfred M. Landon.
But I mean, from the name, you tell it's olden days.
But.
Um Joel can we get an olden days accent?
Oh it's so sick.
I'm so old.
No not you.
You be young.
The olden days.
I'm 40 and in the olden days this is 80.
That's good.
That was much better.
All right.
While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about tongue
mushrooms, also known as beefsteak fungus or poor man's steak.
Can I just say one of my favorite experiences in the show is when I write my answer first
and it's just me and you.
Everyone else is on their little phones and we just get a little intimate moment.
Yeah, I like it too.
It's really lovely.
I've been dabbling with not answering straight away.
So I get a moment with Matt and then when I realized I haven't answered, the moment
with Matt is wrecked because I know that in mere seconds, Matt will be like, I don't have
your answer yet.
Please write your answer, Tiffy.
What are you doing?
You're wrecking the game. You're just enjoying this moment.
Is tongue mushroom one of those mushrooms you can eat
like chicken of the woods?
I want, well, just, only by-
What the?
No, don't let him get away with that.
No, don't unlock this.
He's right and it's upsetting.
Don't worry about it.
There's a delicious looking mushroom
called chicken of the woods.
And it apparently tastes like chicken.
I'm pretty sure it's been a question on this show before. But you-
Oh, the chicken of the woods.
It's so magical sounding.
I'll show you a picture.
No, don't do that either.
Cause last time you tried to find a picture,
it took you ages to the point where it seemed
like you were wrong.
And then eventually you were right.
You just Googled the wrong thing.
Chicken of the woods.
I think this actually may have even happened.
I don't know who knew it.
Or it do go on.
I just remember being upset with you.
And then I was wrong.
Look at it. Don't you want to eat that shit?
Oh yes. Yes.
Now look up the tongue.
Okay.
Tongue mushroom.
But yeah, according to Caitlin,
a photo and description popped up in her feed.
It's disgusting.
Let's have a look.
That's a tongue.
Whoa.
It's the only mushroom you can French.
Oh my God.
That's Scooby Doo's tongue.
That is actually, it's like the perfect colour and everything.
What the?
The ratios.
Exactly what Caitlin said.
She said, uh, popped up in her feed and at first she thought it was a dog's tongue poking
through some tree bark.
Then she read the blurb, realised it was a mushroom and the first thought was, it was
a bit weird, bit gross.
So of course, second thought was must submit as a question to Matt. A great instinct. Yeah,
really good instinct and it's paid off here. Exactly. I've never heard of it or seen it,
but that is a wild looking thing. And based on our answers, you can probably guess that
we also hadn't seen it or heard of it either. Yeah. But you were also, I think John's toenail
is in the same ballpark. Yeah. I thought that was it either. Yeah. But you were also, I think John's toenails in the same ballpark.
Yeah.
I thought that was good writing.
Yeah.
By Hayden.
All right.
The answers are in for question number three.
Which of these was a real campaign slogan used by US presidential candidate Alfred M.
Landon?
Landon on a better future.
OK.
A vote for me is a vote against the other guy.
So therefore, a vote for you.
Okay.
All right.
Let's make it a Landon slide.
Okay.
Guiding freedom down the Landon strip.
Landon, Landon the right side of history or better than the alternative.
Okay. So there is two here that are similar
and have no puns and then the rest all have puns.
So either all the puns are us or it is a pun answer
and two people have accidentally grabbed the puns.
Yeah.
Yeah. This is tricky.
Okay.
Yeah. I need to stop processing it above.
Processing it out loud. Yeah. You're a meta-gamer. I need to stop processing it above processing it out loud.
Yeah. You're metagaming. I'm metagaming. Hayden's got first crack at this one. What are you thinking?
What are you thinking? The mind games have continued. I, there's two parts of me. One of
them tells the truth always. The other one always laws. Okay. Can you ask one part what, uh,
shit, what's the answer? You ask him what the other guy would say.
If I asked him what the answer isn't.
And then I do the opposite, but there's lots of answers.
And I'm not, and I'm not telling you which guy is talking.
It's always actually one guy.
Can you read it out again?
Landed on a better future. I vote for you. I vote for me is a vote's actually one guy. Can you read about again? Landing on a better future.
A vote for you. A vote for me is a vote against the other guy.
So therefore vote for you.
Let's make it a land and slide.
Guiding freedom down the land and strip land on the right side of history
or better than the alternative.
I reckon just better than the alternative.
I think that's weird.
Actually, I don't want to explain my process to laughter
because then you guys will all guess that answer
and then you'll all be correct as well.
There's two answers that are similar to that though.
So your logic applies to both.
One's just sillier.
But also sometimes presidential campaigns get silly.
I was thinking, well, why would someone send in this question? but also sometimes presidential campaigns get silly.
I was thinking, well, why would someone send in this question?
It has to have a stupid answer.
Well, better than the alternative is not that silly.
But it doesn't have to be the silliest answer.
But let's make it a Landon slide.
Is it that silly?
Would you write into Matt Stewart about it?
It's not that silly.
Well, you're metagaming on the metagaming.
It's not that silly.
Yeah. Yeah.
But better than the alternative.
That's pretty funny, but it's not that ridiculous.
Yeah.
Better than the alternative.
And maybe it's funny because the alternative is like
a really bad guy or something.
Yeah.
Or like, yeah.
And the, yeah.
Or maybe the alternative was like an alter.
It was like George Washington or something.
Isn't that also a quote from Futurama
or the Simpsons or something,
but also they could have taken that from the real life.
So many layers.
What do you think, Cass?
Oh, landed on a bit of future.
Yeah.
So me or you next Jackson?
You know, I have you not figured out the order of it.
It's a circle brother.
Yeah.
We're literally sitting around a circular table.
I like to paint for the listeners
that we're all just standing in a room
in random spots, maybe pacing.
Yeah, we're wondering.
We're like, you know that, you know, when they,
you know when they, they-
Why, what, you're just pumping her hand.
You know when they-
I'm eating nuts.
Yeah, it looks like you're squeezing nuts.
Yeah, you know in the Simpsons where they take Homer's spoof
and then they're all smacking into each other?
Oh, right, yes, yeah, yeah.
That's us.
They don't take his spoof.
Yeah, they do.
What do you mean they?
Also, it's crazy that this gesture meant balls.
Yeah, it was.
Well, you got it.
That's even more crazy.
It was really accurate.
Anyway, I'm also gonna go better than the alternative
because I think that,
I think that what Hayden's saying is true.
And I think that the other puns,
because this is definitely an old guy.
He's not definitely an old guy.
Do you know him?
No.
We heard Joel's impression.
He was old.
He was 40, which was 80 back then.
That was 80 back then.
40 used to be 80.
40 used to be 80.
And I think that the puns are too like punny,
if that makes sense, like is in the two pun.
Except for the Landon strip one,
which if this is an old guy in Plains and you,
that one's fine.
Yeah, maybe.
Cause freedom, America does love freedom.
They do.
They do love freedom.
Can I get the pun ones again after writing,
just ruling them out, unruling them.
Like I crossed them out with pencil.
Landon on a better future.
I don't think it's that one.
Let's make it a Landon slide.
No.
Guarding freedom down the Landon strip
or Landon the right side of history.
Oh, okay.
So it turns out the ones that I was confused between
were the same answer.
Yeah.
Let's go the Landon strip one.
Freedom, Landon strip.
I do feel like better than the alternative
may be the right answer or it could be Casas answer again.
It could also be the other three.
It could be the other three.
It could be actually any of them.
But statistically speaking,
it's probably Casas cause you answered it.
Yeah, that's true.
Interesting.
That's a fun.
Yeah.
Okay. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go the landslide one. Lands true. Okay. I'm going to go, I'm going to go the landslide one.
Landslide.
Yeah.
Land and slide.
Go on land and slide.
America loves landslides.
We're all different this time, aren't we?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like, of the puns, land and slide is my favorite because it doesn't really work.
No, but it also feels like that would.
That makes it more believable.
You had all this time and you got Landon's slide?
It does make you focus on the word Landon.
When you get other ones, you kind of skip over Landon.
Yeah.
Good point.
And it's punchy.
It's punchy too.
Hey, we're talking about it.
We're talking about it.
This guy's so old.
And we all remember President Landon.
Yeah.
He won.
It's also, calling your shot a lot, Landon's like, even if you win a little bit,
you still sort of fail because it wasn't a Landon slide.
Which is still great, but you still lose.
It's not a Landon slide, it's a Landon slide.
So even if you win, it's always gonna be a Landon slide.
Even if you lose, it's your definition.
Oh, that actually wasn't a Landon slide.
That's what I wanted.
Thank you everybody.
Yeah, you don't know which way the Landon slide's going.
It could be a famous, see,
Landon slides go down, but land and slides go up.
Yeah, it was the landslide that crashed.
We were treated up the mountain.
All right, here's the answers.
Landed on the right side of history.
That was Camila, okay, the house.
That was a good one.
That was a good one.
I'd use that now.
A vote for me is a vote against the other guy.
So therefore a vote for you, that was Dusha.
Okay, that was funny.
That was funny.
That was good. That was laughing at that. Should we start saying that? Which one. That was funny. That was funny. That was good. That was laughing at that.
Should we start saying that?
Which one was funny?
That was funny.
We weren't laughing though.
No.
So when Jackson said it,
he started laughing during his answer,
but Kass, you just hit me with that dead on,
just no expression.
And that hurt a lot more.
Kass has wounded me.
Kass went for Landon on a better future.
And that was Hayden.
Oh my God.
Christ.
That means better than the alternative was right.
And the puns were all throwing up.
God, I'm so good at metagaming.
Dusha went for guarding freedom down the Landon strip.
That was Cass.
Nice.
It was I.
Which was funny because-
You were trying to avoid Cass so much.
Which is funny because I said,
if Hayden's answered that statistically it's Cass
and then I answered Cass is quite like,
I picked Cass.
We're all in each other's heads, dude.
You land and ride on her.
I did land and ride on her.
Right after a cutting remarks too.
What else have we got?
Hayden went for better than the alternative.
That was Jackson.
Oh my God.
Hey, that means we're on the same page.
That's right.
Wait, Landon's slide was right?
Meaning that Jackson's correct?
Let's make it a Landon's slide.
Man.
That would have been the pun when I picked, but I didn't.
That's okay.
And as it turned out, he lost in a Landon's slide.
Which is what he wanted.
He didn't find what a Landon's slide was.
A Landon's slide.
So what do we have here?
That's two points for Jackson.
Oh yeah.
One point for Cass and one point for Hayden.
Hell yeah.
So that leaves me in the dust I think.
In the shit, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Cass still hasn't scored.
Okay.
So, okay, so if this game,
so this game obviously,
there's the three people on the podium
and then I'm sitting on the toilet outside
the metal ceremony. No, you've lost so much. You're actually, I'm not even gonna be there for the podium. And then I'm sitting on the toilet outside the metal ceremony.
No, you've lost so much.
You're actually, I'm not even gonna be there
for the ceremony.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
And then the house is my shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly what the podium looks like right now.
Poodium.
Yeah, Poodium.
You're on the podium.
Yeah, I'm on the podium.
Okay.
So here's question number four.
This is from Colin Campbell from Tucson, Arizona.
Coco.
Uh, Joel, Arizona, Tucson.
Oh gee whiz.
It's hard out here.
That might be the best so far.
I just spent some time in Tucson and that's bang on.
They actually pronounce it Tuscan.
Uh, so Colin's question is in the state of Pennsylvania, what is the curse of Billy Penn?
What is the curse of Billy Penn?
What was the location, sorry?
Pennsylvania.
Sylvania.
Philadelphia's in there.
City of brotherly love.
That's right, which comes from the Latin.
Filios is either brotherly or love and Delphia is
either brotherly or love. Is it that true? That sounds made up. No, that's true.
Hmm. Found that out last week. That's why I still remember. While you're writing
your answers, here's a little more info about Alf Landon's campaign. According to
Business Insider, Republican Alf Landon was Franklin Delano Roosevelt's
opponent in the 1936 presidential election, and he tempted fate with this wince-inducing
pun. In the end, the election was a landslide, just not the one the GOP candidate had hoped
for. Roosevelt cruised to the biggest presidential victory in more than a century, with Landon
only winning eight electoral college votes to Roosevelt's 523. That's a, that's a Landon slide. That is a Landon slide. All right. Well,
how's everyone's phones going? Anything cool on that? He climbs down. See, I got to shut up.
Okay. We'll just listen for the worst least thought out answer. Don't pick that one.
Yeah. Cause that'll be Hayden's. All right. Dushal. They're still writing their answers.
Let's go for a quick break. I'm gonna pick that one. Yeah, because that'll be Haydn's. All right, Dushal, they're still writing their answers.
Let's go for a quick break.
And we're back.
OK, your answers are in.
So here's question four.
In the state of Pennsylvania, what
is the curse of Billy Penn?
A sports curse where none of the Philadelphia teams
won the championship after a skyscraper was built
taller than City Hall.
The Phillies would never win another World Series game until Billy left not just the
team but the entire state.
A curse which caused many strange events, tornadoes, bankruptcies, a yogurt shortage,
and a few deaths after the state's founders mansion burned down in the 80s.
Okay.
That sounds like whoever wrote that had a lot of time.
That sounds like someone had an idea
and then added too much information to it.
Someone with frantic looking thumbs.
Someone in a blind panic.
Yoghurt shortage.
Whose vision.
The 80s. Whose vision. The 80s.
Whose vision was getting darker and darker.
Every passing second.
It looked like you were closing in.
Like it really looked like tunnel vision was happening.
My throat was tightening.
I looked over, your nose was touching your screen.
You were so relaxed before, what happened?
I don't know, I don't know, things went really wrong.
I know that feeling.
It's happened to me in the show before too.? I don't know, I don't know, things went really wrong. I know that feeling, it's happened to me
in the show before too.
If you don't immediately get an idea.
Brother.
Here's your fourth option.
All beef slaughtered by his hand
spoiled immediately and caused food poisoning.
Spoiled immediately?
That's like a witch's curse, okay.
NFL coach Billy Penn resigned from the Philadelphia Eagles
in the middle of a game in 1976 and
they haven't made finals since.
Or a baseball curse of some kind.
That could be Jackson.
Really panicking.
Really giving up.
There's so many sport ones.
Yeah.
Well, Philly, you know.
No, I don't. Nor I. What was the sport ones? Yeah. Well, Philly, you know, no, I don't nor I
What was the second one? Sorry second one was the Phillies would never win another World Series game until Billy left
Not just the team but the entire state. Okay, who's sorry? I'm sorry. I'm like
Well, so we got Eagles of football, okay, and
The other one is all sports. Yeah, right. Oh baseball was one of them. Okay. And the other one is all sports.
Yeah. Right.
Oh, baseball was one of them.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh yeah. There's two baseball.
Generally baseball.
Baseball curse of some kind.
There was two baseball, one football, and one all sports.
Okay. Wow.
So I believe Cas might be your crack.
I think it might be. Okay.
Can I, can I get, can I get-
You had the last one.
Yeah, I know. As soon as I said that, I was like, oh shit.
And I called out Joel for making
it up before.
Hey brother, we're actually sitting it around.
Connor, you can just edit that one out.
Connor.
I'm going to go the one where the city hall wasn't big enough.
Okay.
Yeah, nice.
That seems like a beautiful town curse.
Yeah, that's real fun.
It's like maybe he'd written somewhere that the town hall must be the toss or he was the one who built the
one bigger. I guess I like that answer because it hasn't specified who Billy or Billy is.
And that's no, which traditionally would suggest that that isn't the answer, but I like that you've
taken the fact that there's no information related to the question in the answer. I think it's nice.
I think it's nice to be like Jackson's also could be Jackson's answer because it's vague but wordy.
But the yogurt and the 80s-
I'll never tell.
I can't wait to find-
You love yogurt and you love the 80s.
What's yours, Dush?
I think I'm gonna go with the coach quitting
halfway through the football team game.
The Eagles, right?
Yep.
The football team game, the Eagles.
Yeah, quitting the Eagles halfway through a game,
which would be huge by the way, that would make news.
Like a coach quitting halfway through a game
and then them not making playoffs.
Yeah.
Yeah, cause they miss him.
Yeah.
I'd be sad.
What do you think, Jackson?
I think they had to get Billy Penn out of that state.
They had to get him gone.
He was bad luck.
Yeah.
He was rotten.
That's my belief.
Yeah. It would have been even worse.
Yeah. Like not just drop him from the team,
but you gotta leave. If he could get out of the country, that would be better.
But we just need to get him as far away from us as possible.
Well, it's also funny cause that one suggested like maybe he left, like,
see he got injured or something. Then he like left the state.
Then they won a game and then he came back and lost.
Billy? Locking that one in they lost. And they were like, Billy? Did you lock another one in?
Yeah.
And Hayden?
Are your guys answers locked in now?
Can you change?
Even if I make a really good case for an answer.
Our cases are locked in.
Yeah, we're all locked in.
We're all locked.
Right, because I only just put together
that it's Billy Penn and Pennsylvania.
So I think he's the founder whose mansion burnt down,
even though that answer sounds insane.
But again, that's why you're sending it to Matt Stewart,
because it's funny.
There's a yogurt short, it's the eighties.
Do you think pen and pencil smell the same way?
They are, but.
It's not two N's?
Yeah, both are two N's.
Yeah, Pennsylvania has two N's.
Well, you're lucky I committed to locking in.
The one that we thought was Jackson.
So Jackson's thrown himself all off the case
by spending an hour and a half typing his-
Did he throw you off or was it all my master plan?
Hmm.
Maybe me and Hayden are in a secret alliance.
We are.
Hayden's alliance is make sure you don't get points
or he gets points.
Which means that yours is probably the vague one
that Cass picked.
All right.
I'll never tell.
Well, I can, I can.
Yeah, let's get the-
Let's talk about it for another five minutes.
Yeah. Speculation is king. I will Let's get the fuck out of another five minutes. Yeah.
Speculation is king.
I will tell if you let me get a fucking word in.
There is four of us and one of you.
Yeah, I know.
There's too many.
I've made a huge mistake.
All right.
So a baseball curse of some kind.
That was Jackson.
Yeah.
I think I called that as well.
I called that.
No, you didn't.
Listen back to the tape, Nate.
That was absolutely, that was me
pulling the emergency.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which means that yours is right Hayden.
Well done.
How about just wait, Nate?
Just wait.
I'm just like-
Wait, let Matt do his thing.
He's busy.
He's typing.
He's not typing.
He's trying to read the answers.
His mouth is open.
He's mid-water.
All beef slaughtered by his hands spoiled immediately
and caused food poisoning.
That was Cass.
Did you forget that we lived in reality?
Like, oh yeah, this could be-
Why do I get it?
Cause it's a curse.
It might not be real.
Yeah, but curses aren't real.
You can't have a guy who's meat-
Yeah, exactly.
But maybe that's the story.
Yeah.
That's what, yeah.
That's the, like he, in my mind, his knife was fucked.
Like he's got a rusted knife or something.
Like-
I think it would spoil immediately.
It doesn't matter.
Let's get to-
Wait, wait.
We're all friends here.
I mean, you're defending your answer,
but it was wrong.
Like I'm right.
I reckon that curse could exist and I could make it happen.
Please continue, Matt.
The Phillies would never win another World Series game
until he left not just the team, but the entire state.
Jackson went for that.
That was Dusha.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Thought it's funny to think of a guy that-
I just like the idea-
They hate so much, they have to get rid of-
I mean, you heard me say it,
but just like he leaves the state for a bit,
they start winning, he comes back, they start losing.
They're like, oh, the problem.
It's not just dropping you from the team.
You just need to go.
You need to go.
I love the scenario where it plays out that the person who wrote the answer can start going,
I reckon maybe this is what it was, which is how it happened.
Yeah.
Defending your made up answer.
Yeah.
Mine actually could be real.
I just did some world building.
Yeah, I love it.
I love seeing it happen.
I feel cheeky because I'm the only one.
It's only you and me who knows what you're up to.
Okay. Hayden went for... oh hang on, no, Dusha went for the one where coach Billy Penn resigned
from the Philadelphia Eagles in the middle of a game.
They haven't made finals since that was Hayden.
Hell.
Fuck.
Because of course you know they've made finals many times since.
Dusha, come on mate.
That was the intentional thing I left out the clue for all sports nerds, which I am one of.
Yeah.
It was so specific though.
You got me with the specificity.
Specificity will get you every time.
Uh, Hayden went for the one about your yogurt shortage.
That was Colin and the house.
Colin wrote all of it.
I added the yogurt.
Yeah.
I felt like I wanted to be involved in it. Yeah. Oh, for God. Colin wrote all of it. I added the yogurt. Yeah. I felt like I wanted to be involved with it.
Yeah.
Which means Cass is correct.
It's the one that the skyscraper was built tall.
Oh, damn it.
Oh, damn.
And I guess, I'm guessing that he probably,
Billy Penn maybe was the founder.
Yeah.
And that had something to do with the town hall.
Do you know what I reckon it was?
It was like a rich, like old money grandson who was like,
I'm the king of this town.
I'm going to make me a giant.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Damn it, dude.
So we've got a point to Hayden.
A point to the house on the board, finally.
Nice, you're welcome.
Me and the house have an alliance now.
Dusha and Cass as well.
So everyone, but if I'm right, Hayden and Jackson.
No, Hayden, I got a point.
Hayden got a point.
So who is it?
It's just everyone apart from Jackson.
It's just me.
It was a bad round for me.
That's okay.
That's all right.
You can have a bad round every now and then.
You need to walk way through top of your answer.
This is gonna be a bad round for me.
I knew the moment everybody had their phones down
and I was, I had nothing.
But this is gonna be a bad round.
That's okay. I'm,
I look, this is my comeback.
Yeah. Okay.
The next one, if I remember correctly is the long answer.
All right. Question number five.
This one comes from Alex Spore from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Holy shit.
Oh my God.
Round two, round two.
Weird coincidence.
But did you try a Pennsylvania accent last time?
No, I got confused. Sorry.
Now you got her.
Now you have to. Oh, Philadelphia or confused, sorry. Now you got her. Now you have to.
Oh, Phil and Alfie are all Pittsburgh first off, and then-
Um, poor.
Hey, it's me, I'm from Pittsburgh.
That's pretty good.
Quite similar to the Brooklyn one, but-
Well, it's all American.
Brooklyn guy, we're buddies, we hang out.
I think Rocky's from Philly.
Yeah.
Rocky. I've been punching that. Yeah, that's a good one. That think Rocky, Rocky's from Philly. Yeah. Rocky.
I've been punching that.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's him, that's what he says.
It's like his famous quote.
They're up sort of near each other.
Yeah, it counts.
So Alex's question is,
what is the nickname of NHL goalie,
Nikolai Habibulin?
What is the nickname of NHL goalie, Nikolai Habibulan. What is the nickname of NHL goalie Nikolai Habibulan? So ice hockey goalie. Just
need his nickname. How do you spell Habibulan? Uh, K-H-A-B-U-L-I-N. And really Alex giving me the phonetic spelling there
has saved my life.
Cause that is not how I would have.
So it was a silent K?
Yeah.
Okay.
Habibullen.
Let me tell you, it felt great to be the first person
to put my phone down.
Hey Jackson, you get to hear one-on-one
the story of the curse.
That's really exciting.
Even I haven't read this yet.
No, I'm stealing this moment because I've answered as well.
Oh, hey, welcome.
Hey, dude, it's good to be here.
Welcome to the Inner Circle.
This is from Colin.
So yeah, we've all speculated.
I actually don't know what it is.
So here's the story.
For years, under a gentleman's agreement,
the Philadelphia Art Commission would approve no new structure
that rose higher than the statue of William Penn atop City Hall.
Then in March 1987, it approved one Liberty Place, a steel and glass skyscraper,
that rose 121 meters above Penn's head. That's a fair way above.
Yeah.
That's big.
In the next 22 years, no major professional sports team based in Philadelphia won a championship.
Finally, in 2007, during the completion of the 297 meter Comcast centered downtown, workers
John Joyce and Dan Ginnian attached a small figurine of Penn to its topmost beam.
The following year, the Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series.
That's so funny.
Oh, okay.
Curses are real.
You know what?
It took me quite a while to realize that William Penn and Billy Penn were the same person.
I'm like, when's Billy getting violent?
So yeah, so yeah, isn't that, I love it when you'll ever like, it's not a curse. You just, you haven't been
And then they fix the curse and instantly
Okay, was that actually a curse?
I'm frightened of them. I'm just over here pissing my pants. instantly In 2017 another Penn statuette was placed atop the newly completed 342 meter Comcast technology center and
Apparently they did not want to take the chance and wait for the jinx
Said the building's construction manager and a few months later want to take the chance and wait for the jinx, said the building's
construction manager.
And a few months later, the Eagles won the Super Bowl.
Wow.
Whoa, there you go.
That's sick, I love that.
Curses and witches are real.
Yeah.
I think that proves it, doesn't it?
I would say so.
Yeah.
Yeah, so actually-
Maybe there could be a butcher
whose meat spoils instantly.
If his knife's fucked up, I reckon-
It wouldn't be instant. It doesn't matter. But if knife's fucked up, I reckon. It wouldn't be instant.
It doesn't matter.
But if that's the curse, you know.
That's a curse, it doesn't have to be true.
Guys, I'm right.
You're arguing that the thing Cas made up could be true.
The author to the answer that you're attacking
is the same author who you were like,
that's the right answer, two rounds in a row.
Yeah, I'm trying to save face.
It's not working.
No one forgets.
It feels like it's working.
Every single time I go to defend myself,
you say anyway, and you try and move on.
Wow.
Very dismissive.
She does have you there, dude.
That's pretty disgusting behavior.
Despicable, by the way.
You say so.
As a feminist, I think that's not on.
Yeah.
Thank you, Matt.
Cass, I'm talking.
Sorry.
Oh, all right.
This answer for question number five.
What is the nickname of NHL goalie Nikolai Habibullen?
Nicky Skates.
Okay.
The bully, the white death, Mr. Freeze, the bull and wall or Mr. Nicey Icy.
Okay.
Okay.
The bullet, it feels like that because of his unusual name, that the nickname would
somehow involve it.
Right.
First of all, Jackson, unusual to who?
To me.
Okay.
Good answer.
I've never heard that name before.
I've heard that name, I think, that's peculiar.
There's two ways of thinking about it.
Yeah.
Well, I guess there's actually a sneaky third way.
We'll get to that after I explain the first one.
Great.
I can't wait.
This is gonna be good stuff.
For the listeners,
they should just throw out a whiteboard.
It's good stuff, trust me.
Okay.
So one, because Hayden pointed this out.
So I'm actually referencing your thing
and you're not taking a dig.
So I'm just doing what you did.
Wow.
It's a hostile table.
From my memory, I did it in my mind or-
No, you did it out loud.
I was the yogurt shortage one.
Yeah, so either they've emailed in with this question
because it relates to the name and it's a clever nickname.
Two, it's a ridiculous nickname or three,
I can't remember what my third point was
cause Hayden derailed it.
That was a good third one.
Yeah, that happens.
Yeah.
Everyone's turning on everyone here.
Yeah. It's good.
I'm front to all.
Cause you're not a threat.
I would like it on the record, not to me.
Um, what's, is it you first now? Yeah. Yes.
No, isn't it Dusha?
Yes.
Cause Cas went last.
Oh yeah.
It's a circle.
Can I get those again please?
I love my beautiful glass house.
Hang on.
I can see everyone.
Yeah, that's true.
I can see everyone that I'm throwing my rocks at.
Sorry.
So I think we're to you Dush.
Yep.
And you want to hear them again?
Yeah.
Can you just wrap, just rapid fire.
Nicky skates.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with the rock. I'm going to go with the rock. I'm going to go with the rock. I'm going to go with the rock. I'm going to go with the everyone that I'm throwing my rocks at. Yeah. Sorry. So I think we're to you, Doosh. Yep. And you want to hear them again?
Yeah. Can you just wrap, just rapid fire? Nicky skates, the bully, the white death,
Mr. Freeze, the bull and wall or Mr. Nicey Icy.
I think it's the wall one. Oh yeah. That was the third one. It's either, it could be a regular,
a regular sounding name, but it has a crazy story attached to the name. Very true, actually, very true.
So like Mr. Icy Nicey or the White Death
or Mr. Freeze or whatever, they're boring,
but they could be interesting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They could be something.
Maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger's stunt double.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
It could have been Arnold Schwarzenegger's stunt double,
although with the White Death,
it's like, yeah, because he cut off a guy's head on the-
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Which happened.
Well, they don't cut off their head, but- But it gets violent out there., it's like, yeah, cause he cut off a guy's head on them. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which happened. Well, they don't cut off their head, but.
But it gets violent out there.
Yeah, and like,
skates do cut.
Yeah, they cut through us.
What is the white death?
What's that a reference to?
The black death, I'm guessing?
No, just like death in general.
Yeah, I don't know why I'm like,
how could Jackson all know this?
I'm joining hockey.
I think there was a-
Not cause of hockey, I just thought-
Oh, cause of murder.
Yeah.
I think there's a Russian sniper or a pole, there's, I don't know, some sniper in the
war and he used to hide in the snow and he was the white death.
Oh, right.
Was that like a lady sniper?
I don't know.
I think it might have been.
A lady sniper?
Yeah.
I didn't know you were a feminist as well.
I am, that's true.
Get him.
You got him, girl.
Yeah.
The wall one. The bull and wall.
The bull and wall.
It does feel too punny.
It's pretty punny.
I know I hockey enough to know the chances are
it's not a pond.
Why am I going with this one?
Cause also the double meaning there also is the goalie.
So the wall is blocking.
He's in his own head dude.
Yeah, I'm in my own head.
I'm lost.
I'm just going to lock it in.
You're in the danger zone in the answer section.
Yeah, that's funny.
That's interesting.
How'd you get here?
I'm going to lock that in, but I want it on record.
To me it sounds silly.
I'm absolutely not happy with this.
So pun names is not usual in hockey.
I don't think so, cause like,
like not as a notable nickname.
Anyway, I'm locking it in.
Cause I don't know hockey that well.
No, it's just like- Who's the famous, like what's Wayne Gretzky's nickname? Anyway, I'm locking it in. Cause I don't know hockey that well. No, it's just like famous.
Like what's Wayne Gretzky's nickname?
Well, I think they usually-
He's the Gretz wall of China, I think.
Oh my God.
Actually, I hate it's nailed it.
And yeah, that's why I'm answering this.
No, I just feel like that nicknames in American sports
usually aren't plays on their name.
It'll just be like,
they'll be like, I can't think of a single example.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Yeah.
It'll be like-
My brain just keeps going goat or greatest of all time,
but that's in everything.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Mr. Icy Nicey.
Love that.
I feel like it's ridiculous enough
that it could be right, you know?
Yep.
Lock and load for Jackson, just quickly,
cause I know that our hockey fans
will be yelling at their iPods.
Gretzky's got a bunch of nicknames including Gretz,
the great Gretzky.
I was pretty close.
The great one and the white tornado.
Oh, white tornado is probably the example
of what I'm talking about of like,
that's got nothing to do with-
But he was also called the Gretz.
Yeah, but that's not a nickname.
And the great Gretzby.
The great Gretzby.
The great Gretzby. The great Gretzby. The great Gretzby.
The great Gretzby.
Like that's about as clumsy of a pun nickname
as you could hear.
The great Gretzby is interesting.
Is he-
Wait, is it the great Gretzby or the great Gretzby?
The great Gretzby.
Is it the great Gatsby or the great Gatsby?
Oh man.
Great Gretzky.
See, it's tough.
If you at home are listening saying,
these guys can't speak,
try saying Gret Gatsby, Gat Great Gatsby.
Just mix them up and try and say it.
It's hard.
I think that's why they came up with white tornado.
Yeah.
It's not easy.
I'm talking to that one.
It's named after what your mouth does.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm going to change mine to the white death.
I'm going to change mine to the white death.
Last minute change.
Last minute change.
What do you think?
I'm going to go the bull in war.
I know you talk yourself in and then out of it
and then out of it, but still locked it in for some reason.
But then I think bullying wall, the Berlin wall.
He's a goalie.
It makes sense to me.
Okay. Locked in.
What about you, Kath?
I'm gonna go the bully.
The bully.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The bully. The bully. So it's not a pun name. It's just the bully.
Yeah. But it's kind of a pun name.
It's sort of a pun name.
I think the puns have to have a second meaning.
That is really the only feature of a pun.
I don't understand that word.
Otherwise it's just a different word.
All right. Here's who wrote the answers.
Nicky skates. That was Alex. Okay. The house.
Yeah. Mr. Freeze. That was Dusha. Did you, did you, were you thinking like played the
double of un-torten. Okay. So what I was thinking was I press send and then I remembered that
someone had to have been like, cause I just picked it. I was like, that will blend in.
Yeah. But then I thought about the fact that it's not notable.
And then when I said what I said about how-
They call him Mr. Freeze cause he plays on the ice.
I nearly went for it.
I didn't.
No, I didn't notice that.
I mean, they get, there are answers.
They're not always like really outlandish.
Mr. Nicey Icy, I wish was true, but that was Cass.
That was close.
It was so close.
So yeah, Jackson really teased you there.
Really dodged a bullet there.
Four.
Jackson ended up going with the white death,
which was Hayden.
Damn it.
Nicely done.
I thought I ruined it by explaining
what the white death was.
Well, I think it could be this thing.
Cass went for the bully. That was Jackson.
Oh yeah.
Oh, nicely done.
Meaning that both Dusha and Hayden are correct
at the Boo-lin wall.
That's what Dusha went for.
I think I should get an extra point
because I got there a lot quicker than Joey.
I think you took yourself out of it.
No, I took myself out of it after I'd walked in.
I was like, I'm not happy with my answer.
Are you happy with it now?
Yeah.
Oh, give up the point, I had a problem.
No, no, no, no, no, up the point. I would never, I should get
another point for bravery. Stick it to your guns. Your style points. So two points to
Hayden that round, one point to Jackson, one point to Dusha. So, uh, with two rounds to
go, the scores are the house on one point, Dutra on three points. Jackson on four points.
Cass on five points, but out in front on seven points,
it's Hayden.
It feels bad to get a point and drop a play.
Yeah, it's grim, dude.
But I'm barely floating above water.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, well, if you're barely above water,
I'm drowning.
And then the house is again, the shit in the toilet.
Yeah, that's true.
We're in a toilet.
You got the under water toilet.
You're in a toilet?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's rough. It's not even a toilet, you shat in. toilet. Yeah, that's true. We're in a toilet. You got the under toilet. You're drowning in a toilet? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's bad.
It's bad.
You're drowning in a toilet, you shat in.
Yeah.
And you're like down there like,
oh drowning's so bad,
but I'm like, I'm on the surface.
If anybody sits, I'm seeing it.
So actually, it's not good for any of us.
Your head's in the toilet
and you're looking at the ship at well,
at least I'm not the shit.
Yeah, at least I wasn't born a shit.
Yeah.
Aw.
Question number six comes from Stephen Dunn from Harlem in the Netherlands.
Joe. Yeah, that's right. Beautiful.
And the question is, what strange career change did Irish activists
and politician Jerry Adams make in 2019?
OK, you familiar with Jerry Adams? This guy was like the president of
Sinn Fein, the Republican, Irish Republican party. It was like an activist group. It's like,
I think it was like the political arm of the IRA. Interesting. So he was a big, big time player in
that. And in retirement a few years ago, he made a bit of a career change. Just quickly on the nickname Alex writes this about Nikolai
Harbi Bulin-Wall. Yeah Harbi Bulin you probably know him. He was in the first he was the first
Russian goalie to win the Stanley Cup also has an Olympic gold to his name but
his nickname lives forever within hockey circles.
And the people deserve to hear this nickname on your show.
Yeah, fair enough.
It's a lot of Russian, but it's a German nickname.
Yeah, true.
It's close.
But I'll tell you what.
I may know the wall was a Soviet.
Geographically.
That's true.
Oh yeah, that's true.
That's also true.
I associated with the wrong wall, I guess.
Yeah.
It is funny, like when you've learned, you're like, of course it's the Bullen wall. I associated with the wrong wall, I guess. Yeah. It is funny.
Like when you've learned, you're like,
of course it's the Bullen wall.
Like he's a, he is a goalie.
Like it's all there in the text.
See when I first heard the answer, I went,
of course it's the Bullen wall.
He's a goalie in the Berlin wall.
And then 50 minutes passed before I got to look my answer in.
But also the-
I hope you lose so that all of this attitude is gone.
I'm just here for the love of the game, it's all right.
It doesn't sound like that.
It is a great-
No, I need a win so bad.
But the Berlin Wall fell famously.
That's true, yeah, well true.
It would have been-
I guess when he retires or when he retires.
But not for ages.
It'd be good if you're a journalist, easy headline.
The Berlin Wall has fallen.
Yes, very true, very true.
Who's a famous coach in the NHL?
Don't know.
They could say Mr. Something Tear Down That Wall.
Oh.
Oh.
Pink Floyd could play on top of him.
Yeah.
I think that was Pink Floyd or maybe it was the film.
I'm pretty sure.
Someone was on.
Wasn't it Hasselhoff?
Yeah, that was later.
Oh, okay. He went there. He played on the wall? Yeah, there was a little. Okay, but. Wasn't it Hasselhoff? Yeah, that was later. Oh, okay.
He went there.
He played on the wall?
Yeah, there was a little.
Okay, but it wasn't the same day.
We should play on the wall.
Yeah, put us on the wall.
Who's the booker for the wall?
They'll rebuild it if we go on the wall.
They build it to the, it's still a wall.
It's just around us.
Yeah.
Oh wait, we're in jail.
Oh.
Damn.
Um, yeah, where are the microphones, sorry? I don't know how we're gonna jail. Damn. Where are the microphones?
Sorry.
I don't know how we're going to do the pod.
What's the rider here?
And which way do I face?
It's just normal just wall.
Can they see us in here?
You look up and there's a crowd
but they start throwing tomatoes.
Oh, I thought we were in jail.
I might have misunderstood what's happening.
Free food though.
Free food, that's true.
I don't like tomatoes.
You can eventually just be part of soup.
No, that's true. I don't like tomatoes. You can eventually just be part of soup.
No, that's true.
Hmm.
The answers are in.
Sorry.
The answer.
No, that's OK.
I was just saying soup's great.
Soup is great.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry that I cut you off.
That's OK.
That's an important thing to say.
Carry on.
All right. So the answer in his question six.
What strange career change did Irish
activists and politician Gerry Adams make in 2019?
He started goose farming harvesting down-to-hand make artisanal blankets and coats coats. Okay
He became a cookbook author publishing a book called the negotiators cookbook
Okay, he washes windscreens at red lights. Right.
He publicly announced he was converting to Hinduism and hoped to reincarnate as a butterfly.
Right.
He became an Instagram influencer or he transitioned from his political career into farming, finding
out late in life that he was in fact introverted.
Okay.
So you got two farming ones, one farming goose down, making blankets and coats.
The other one just introverted farming.
Then you got the influencer on Instagram, which I guess is the opposite of introverted.
That's true.
You can be introverted.
Don't turn the camera on.
The Hinduism to become a butterfly, washing wind screens or writing the negotiators cookbook.
What do you reckon Jackson?
I don't know.
It's hard to pick what would be like a yeah.
Can you break down your thinking with three options and three things it could be?
Oh wait, hang on.
We haven't got the Irish accent yet.
Yeah.
Oh, of course.
Oh, I shouldn't have gotten into politics.
I like my new career better.
Is that a pirate?
Yeah, that was Jack Sparrow.
I think he said argh.
What do you think Irish people are?
Pirates.
Oh, yeah.
Ahoy, matey.
Yeah, they're the ones that live on the sea, right? That's how it begins. Yeah. Yeah. The whole image. Yeah.
They don't want to live on the sea.
In the brig.
Um, I, okay.
The goose feather farming.
Yeah.
I feel like I saw a thing recently where that's really hard to do because you got to get the
specific to get the down.
It needs to be when the goose has like babies and it's producing really
soft feathers to to make it very comfortable for the baby geese.
Yeah, the goslings, if you will.
So I think it's a I think it's a pretty niche kind of farming.
But the other one is clearly a joke.
So I don't know about that.
Um, what were the other ones?
Cookbook, Winstagram, washer, Hinduism, Instagram influencer.
Could be Instagram influencer.
Maybe, maybe like transitioning from, I don't know, got a taste for fame.
No, I think I'm gonna go cookbook.
Cookbook.
I think cookbooks the only one that makes sense to me. Yeah, makes sense.
I like that.
Yeah, it's the only one that's a natural progression.
It reads true.
You know, you know, he had you have a passion for cooking.
And then what do you think about the name of the negotiators cookbook?
Because he's keeping his old career still to some degree.
You don't want to turn your back on all of your fame.
Yeah, exactly.
Like if I released a cookbook it would be
Fucking idiots got cooking. Yeah, it's just how to boil the ready-made ravioli
What do you think I was thinking
Because I think after a life in Korean politics, you go weird.
So I was thinking, maybe he's washing windows
or perhaps trying to reinvent himself as an influencer or a butterfly.
Yeah. But I think probably a cookbook. I think cookbook book feels I think that's an easy one where you go
to the publishing company and you say, hey, write me a cookbook.
Yeah. Stick my face on it.
Yeah. I'll write a couple of blurbs here and there.
And they go, OK, sounds like easy cookbook and stick my face on it. And I'll write a couple of blurbs here and there.
And they go, yeah, okay, sounds like easy money.
And we're talking about it.
Oh, we're talking about it.
We are talking about it.
We won't shut up about it.
What do you think, Cass?
Oh, yeah, like you'd so want to go to the farm, right?
Yeah.
You'd be sick of the office.
That's true.
But I am gonna go cookbook.
Okay.
Just leaves you douche.
I think that I'm gonna go with the farm, the goose one.
Okay, he's farming down.
Because I think that Hinduism is not a job
and it's his career change.
Yeah. True.
Instagram influencer, you can kind of get that
by just sticking around being a politician and activist.
Like a lot of social media stuff is that.
That's true. It's not a career change.
Yeah. Uh, I wrote the other answer. Uh, and the, there was another, the cookbook, I think
there's a little bit too much information. The way it's worded feels like one of us wrote
it. That was my logic. All right. Here's the answers. Uh, finding out his introverted late
in life, becoming a farmer. That was Dusha.
Became an influencer on Instagram.
That was Jackson.
You say it like the disease influenza.
Instagram, influenza.
How, how I do say a lot of words wrong.
How would.
Influencer.
Influencer.
No, we're all hitting influence. Maybe influence ma'am.
Yeah.
Uh, became a Hindu.
Uh, that was Steven.
Okay.
The house.
You're right.
That isn't a job.
He wrote that one before I changed the question.
I see.
So that's not his fault.
Cause he's listening.
Just go, what the hell? That's not what I wrote. I think you've just, see. So that's not his fault. Yeah.
Cause he's listening just go, what the hell?
That's not what I wrote.
I think you've just,
you made me look like an absolute fool.
Straight under the bus.
I did.
I intended to add something there to make that a job.
More job.
Yeah.
And also he works at the store.
Yeah.
And he is.
He's a producer.
Oh nice.
Washes windscreens at red lights.
It was Hayden. Goose farming, which Doucha went shot. Oh, nice. Washer's Windscreens at Red Lights, it was Hayden.
Goose Farming, which Doucha went for, that was Cass.
Man, Cookbook Author is correct.
Oh, yeah.
Be how sweet it is.
It's really yummy, yummy, yummy.
You talked your way out of,
you talked your way into guessing Cookbook,
but then you didn't, you were like,
you got through all the ones that it couldn't be,
and then you said,
or I wrote the other one, but we all guessed cookbook.
So you know that we couldn't have written cookbook.
I guess you could have thought it was the house.
Oh no, Joel thought the cookbook had too much information,
which was great because you picked mine.
No, no, no, there's two different ways
that there's too much information.
Like if it's just like cold hot facts.
Yeah, explain how you were wrong.
So basically- His three step plan fell down.
Step one.
Being a goose farmer is interesting.
Yeah. Thank you.
It's cause I really want one of those blankets.
A little too interesting if you ask me.
Suspiciously interesting.
Well, don't worry.
Cause the final round is worth triple points.
So it's like a game. It's not anyone's game. The score at the moment though is worth triple points. So it's like it's anyone's game.
Yeah, it's not anyone's game.
The score at the moment though is, yeah, the house can't win.
I don't get triple points.
One point in last place and we have Dusha on three points, Jackson on five points,
Castle on seven, but still out in front on eight points, it's Hayden.
Ooh, all right.
Poonelly.
All right.
So the final question is from Betsy from California.
And you have to answer, or you have to write,
what the synopsis is for the 1969 movie, 1 Million AC DC.
1 Million AC DC.
The 1969 movie?
The 1969 movie.
OK.
I'm putting down the microphone.
Yeah.
So it doesn't have to be, you know, like a short paragraph, two, three, four sentences,
something like that. And while you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more info
about Gerry Adams's cookbook. According to Stephen, love him or hate him, no one could
have guessed Gerry Adams would release a cookbook. The Irish Times called the recipes basic and the puns awful, but who wouldn't love a dish like come out ye rack of lamb, turkey a la or
long quiche after long quiche or long cash where he was once imprisoned? That's
pretty fun. Yeah, found an article on the Irish Times which says,
As someone who was said to have made the worst cup of tea in long cash,
Gerry Adams' culinary knowledge appears to have improved remarkably over the intervening decades.
Nevertheless, his latest oeuvre, The Negotiator's Cookbook,
subtitled Best-Kept Secret of the Irish Peace Process, is unlikely to
establish his reputation as a foodie, using painfully awful puns such as
Longkeesh and Turkey a la... I'm sure I'm ruining that, I don't know either end of why
that's a pun. The veteran Republican offers his readers a range of basic
recipes more often found in a first-year home economics primer. Apart from beef paprika and the intriguingly named
chili mccarney, the author has not provided us
with any rare, exotic, or even exciting dishes.
Few would criticize his promotion of those reliable
old products of our grandmother's ovens,
soda and wheat and bread.
Likewise, boiled bacon, cottage pie, rice pudding
and apple crumble make for fine fare,
but really, do many homes in Ireland need to be reminded
of the ingredients required or how they're prepared?
One dish that has surprisingly been omitted though,
is the cholesterol-reducing super food porridge.
Perhaps the negotiating team had a few bad experiences
with this particular meal.
Seems like that's just a side beef that the journalist here has.
He wants to big up porridge.
He's like, he's got a qualm.
It's like, this cookbook's fine, but where's porridge?
It's such a weird beef to have with a cookbook.
Wow.
It looks like the answers are in.
Oh my God.
Here is the final question.
What is the synopsis of the 1969 movie 1 Million ACDC?
In 1 Million BC, an irresponsible time traveller from the far future
has visited and accidentally left behind something that the world was not ready for.
Electricity.
Now with the past electrified, a team of time
travelers head back on their own adventure set on fixing the past to save
the future. That's option one, then you've got...
U.S. bomber jets are equipped with failsafe boxes and instruct pilots when
and if to attack. When an attack order is inadvertently administered due to a
system malfunction, the President of the United States, played by Henry Fonda, must scramble to fix a mistake before the bombs are dropped on Moscow.
Okay.
Option 3, Brian Williams, family man, travels back in time after electrocuting himself on his brand new toaster.
While stranded in the past, he meets the beautiful, vivacious Tigra, a cave woman, and quickly
falls in love.
When they return to the present, his wife and son are quite upset.
Then you've got option four.
A group of sex-crazed cave people are being harassed by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
While they try to figure out a way to deal with this threat,
they have sex and eat a lot.
Okay.
All right.
That's awesome.
That sounds like a great movie.
Yeah.
And a great day.
Yeah.
Then you got option five,
two rock music obsessed high schoolers decide
they need to lose their virginity
before they go to community college to become electricians.
Or finally, Sally Handel is widowed when her scientist husband is killed while trying to
harvest lightning for his time machine.
She refuses to live without him and waits until the next storm to try and go back to
when he was alive.
But things go wrong and she is thrown back one million years.
Using the powers of ancient storms, can she find a way back to her husband?
Tricky.
That's so funny that I've picked a podcast format that requires me reading a lot.
Yeah.
And I'm in, I'm like midway through some of these paragraphs going, I'm hitting all the wrong bits.
But that's also because I should read them once before I read them again.
No!
I don't think so.
It won't take up too much time.
We don't think about them after we've hit send.
Yeah, exactly.
It's out of our heads.
What's the movie called again?
One Million ACDC.
Okay.
I'm gonna go the one with the dropping bomb.
Wait, is it my turn, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, great.
I actually knew that was just testing you all.
I'm gonna go the one all the dropping bombs on Moscow.
Okay. Lock on in for Hayden.
What do you think?
I was going to go with Moscow bombs.
Mmm.
Cow or co?
Wait, say that again.
Moscow or Moscow?
I think in Moscow they say Moscow, but in Australia we say Moscow.
I thought I'd missed so much.
Have I just had a micro sleep?
Cow or cow?
Is this a new round?
I'll go cow.
I don't know.
We're testing you.
Actually, can I get a summy again?
Because if I guess the same as Hayden.
Yeah, you want to win.
Unless someone gets your answer.
I can't possibly win.
So did I say cow?
Because it is Moscow, isn't it?
And I said Moscow.
No, Hayden said Moscow.
You said Moscow.
I think in Moscow, they say Moscow.
Oh, okay. Moscow.? And I said Moscow.
Yeah, Hayden said Moscow.
You said Moscow.
I think in Moscow, they say Moscow.
Oh, okay.
But ours say Moscow.
They say Moscow.
Oh, I see.
I think this part's a walk for the fun section.
Hell yeah.
But definitely if they say it,
I feel like countries and cities
should be able to be called however they want.
They should determine how they said, yeah.
It's like how for ages we were calling Turkey or do what it was called that Turkey
year. Yeah.
And we're just calling it Turkey. And then for the whole time they were like,
that's not what it's called. That's the bird. That's not us.
That's the first I've heard of this.
Turkey. Yeah.
Well I'll be. Yeah. All right. I'll try and remember that.
May I please?
I think like Deutschland is so much better than Germany. Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. I'll try and remember that. May I please? I think like, Deutschland is so much better than Germany.
Oh yeah.
Germ, yuck.
Deutsch.
Yeah, Deutsch.
I came behind the Deutsch.
Yeah.
So you're gonna-
Can I please have a little summy?
Oh yeah, a little summy.
So you've got the time traveler accidentally
bringing electricity to a million BC,
which obviously changes things in the future. The US bomber inadvertently is about to drop a bomb on Moscow and Henry Fonda has
to try and stop. You got the family man Brian Williams, who's sent back in time, meets a
beautiful Tigra and they fall in love. You got the sex craze cave people
having sex and it's Tyrannosaurus Rex and they're dealing with the threat and they're also having
sex and eating. And then you got the rock music obsessed high schoolers who need to lose their
virginity before becoming electricians. Or you've got the Sally Handel who's widowed when her
scientist husband's killed trying
to harvest lightning for his time machine.
I think it's one of the ones with the name in it.
The name makes it sound real.
Let me go through the names.
Do you know what?
Just the names.
Do you know what?
I will say, and this will not reveal anything because it seems like I could go either way
with this.
I have previously on the show before put a name in thinking
that they would all have names and then mine was the only one who didn't have it. They
did have a name.
Oh no. There's no uniform to this. So the two character names are Brian Williams or
Sally Handel, which are both fantastic.
And I've also thrown in actors names thinking the same thing, like chucking them in brackets.
Yeah. You had a Henry Fonda in brackets as well.
I guess cause the emailers decide what the vibe this summer is.
Yeah.
Yes.
And sometimes I tweak it, but yeah.
Yeah, like previously we tweaked it
so that their answer didn't make sense.
Made it look like an idiot.
I thought we were just like, what a stupid answer.
Yeah, well, I've done that twice.
The two things I've tweaked,
I tweaked the question which made their answer wrong
and the other one I added in, yogurt shortage.
Yeah.
Which I pounced on.
Yeah.
So I've been mean both times.
I started to think maybe I'm not a nice guy.
Wait, is that, have you guys not told him?
That's so funny if you don't know that.
Um.
Um.
Um.
Um.
Um.
Cave wife coming back to real life.
Cave wife, all right.
Yep.
Tigra.
Tigra. Awesome, What kind of a cast?
I will say that some of these sound suspiciously close to other movies.
Like the one cast just picked does sound heaps like Encino Man.
It makes me think Jackson wrote that.
No, Encino Man's a caveman in today, not someone going back in time.
Yeah, but it's the same vibe.
Have you seen in CNO?
I have seen it in CNO.
If they get married, there's no school involved.
Yeah, I know.
Nearly none of that is similar at all.
I'm starting to think that Matt wrote this one.
I didn't write any of it.
He's trying to feed you the right answer.
Yeah, he's trying to help you.
Let him help you.
Let him help you.
The sex comedy one for 1969,
even though that is an awesome year,
that's a little bit before movies get like that.
And it's also not a, yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Unless that's why we haven't heard of it.
Like in the 70s is it?
Yeah.
Cause we go full porno in the industry first
and then we start back the,
like the governing bodies push back real hard on that.
And then it takes us a little bit to go back to like,
what if it's just a bit sexy?
Yeah.
Jeez, you know what?
You know that history.
You know your pornography.
I also could be wrong, but I like deep through it
and stuff like that at the early seventies.
When was, but, and we were looking this up the other day,
carry on 1969, there were carry ons coming out.
Oh yeah. Carry on was already by them.
But carry on was boardy.
No, but they don't start.
We also looked into this.
They don't start getting boardy until the seventies.
Can I just say one of my favorite words?
Pornographer.
Oh, it's delightful.
Isn't that so nice?
Oh, to be a pornographer.
And what do you do?
Well, I'm a pornographer.
I'm a pornographer.
Isn't it so fancy?
Do you like the band, the new pornographers?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.
It's a great band name.
I've not heard of them.
I think pornography's got a bit of dignity to it.
Yeah.
If you say, I'm in pornography.
I would love to be a pornographer.
I'm a pornographer.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It's like,'m in pornography. I would love to be a pornographer. I'm a pornographer. Oh, yeah.
It's like, are you like, do you make pornos
or are you a pornographer?
Yeah, exactly. Absolutely.
I applied for a job as a pornographer
a couple of years ago.
Yeah. How'd you get? Did you get it?
No, I didn't get it.
I didn't even get an interview.
Can you believe that?
That stinks.
But I thought, man, maybe I'll just be
a full on pornographer.
And then they killed the dream
by looking at your resume and saying, no chance.
I think, so the bombs dropping one is really similar
to war games as well.
And, with Charlie Sheen?
More, no, the other guy.
That's two guys.
I think that one to me feels too removed.
Doctor Strange Love as well.
Well, and also too removed from the title.
Yeah, it can't be a war movie.
There's already been war movies, so can't be that one.
No, but that is the exact ending of Dr. Strangelove.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I know, man.
And the one million ACDC, ACDC is electricity.
Yeah.
Hmm.
It's also a band.
It is also a band.
But the band haven't existed for very long at this point.
Yeah.
Not in 69.
I don't think they've existed.
I don't think they're around.
Yeah, actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.
They haven't existed yet.
Unless they took the name from this movie,
which I know they didn't.
They took it from electricity.
Yeah.
But this movie maybe took its saddle from electricity.
Yeah.
It could have been the same room they were in.
It could have been the same electricity
they were looking at. So hang on. Just like, can I get a summary
but like real basic? Cause I know there was like bombs dropped. The president saves the
day. Yeah. Have men getting given electricity and then time travels fixing it. Yeah. What
time travel? The Tigra, the one that's nothing like and Sino man, but it reminds you of in Sino man the Tyrannosaurus Rex and
Yeah
The rock kids about to go to what I laughed about this but 1969 is big softcore pornography years
Exactly is that not exactly what you're saying?
Comedies
I can say this is one of his full on porno is being on the vaccine.
Come on.
So sex comedies don't start coming in its way later,
but soft core pornography becomes hardcore pornography,
which you can just see at the cinema for a little bit.
Like you just, you can just go see Deep Throat.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time.
Yeah, I'm looking at that.
I reckon they're just fucking.
I don't really see the T-Rex.
Yeah, yeah.
It's 1969.
That's just the poster.
Yeah.
All right, looking at it.
Sex is electric. Yeah. I think I looking at it. The sex is electric.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to say the two high schools,
which I know sounds crazy.
It does sound crazy.
You're a crazy person.
Oh, you're picking Bill and Ted.
Yeah, I know it's,
I seem like the lunatic to you all right now.
They have to lose their virginity in that movie,
Bill and Ted.
Bill, we gotta fuck.
Bill and Ted meets American Pie.
Yeah.
And going to TAFE, I guess.
Tell me about that.
Tell me about that.
Bill and Ted, they're going to go to military school if they don't pass their...
Right.
Well, yeah, they have to drop it.
I don't have sex.
Yeah, I'll lock that in.
Ted, my boy, you've got to lose your virginity or I'm sending you off.
All right.
That means you're all locked in.
Here's who wrote the answers.
Uh, Doosha wrote the one about
electricity accidentally being brought back.
I thought that was, I can't believe no one picked that.
I thought that was-
Well, I was like, what, it's such a high promise, you know?
I think that the 1969 did me dirty there.
If it had been like, if it was like 1982.
Yes, absolutely.
Cause I regretted it for that reason as well.
And that's why I was lucky that I went last cause I was like,
I'm about to talk everyone out of my answer, but they haven't picked it anyway.
So who cares?
The one about Sally handle the widow,
widowed by a scientist husband bank killed that one.
You know that one. Okay. Okay. Sorry. That was,
yeah. Sometimes you get widowed
because your scientist husband was killed.
Yeah, that's right.
That's what happens.
Science kills.
Yeah, it's dangerous.
Don't do it.
The US bomber jets on the file side of Henry Fonda.
I didn't wait for that.
It was Betsy.
Okay, the house.
Oh my God.
The house is just racked up.
A pretty significant.
Just one.
House doesn't get triples.
Yeah. Okay.
Because normally cause the house is advantage, which it wasn't so,
because there's only so many people.
Then we had a Brian Williams family, man, um,
hooking up with the vivacious, the vivacious Tigra cave woman,
clearly falling in love. And when they returned to the present,
his wife and son are quite upset.
Casper for that was Jackson.
No, but because sometimes what it was, I didn't even mind because sometimes,
you know, you put out an answer and no one laughs. So to get you laughing,
it's so funny. You can't even finish the sentence. I was
making time where you're in the whole points in the world.
Yeah.
Then we had two rock music obsessed high schoolers needing to lose their
virginity. Jackson, I was Hayden.
I really, I didn't hear the 1969 bit.
Yeah.
I was like, this could be a fun eighties flick.
And then I realized that ACDC did not exist in 60s, or at least I don't think we're famous. And that means that the correct answer Dusha picked, it was a group of sex crazed cave
people being harassed by a Tyrannosaurus rat. Finally your encyclopedic knowledge of pornos comes
in handy. My knowledge of when pornos went mainstream really paid off that. Yeah. Oh my
God. You can really dictate the year is like how much dick
you could see in the screen.
1972 I think is a sweet spot.
Cause that's when that's Debbie does Dallas
and deep through it.
And then everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no.
We may be tipped over the edge.
Debbie does Dallas a proper movie.
Yeah.
I always thought it was just the full on porno.
Well, yeah, it is a full on porno.
But it's also a film.
So those movies.
What a beautiful time.
What a Goldilocks zone of cinema.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And like you could just,
in America you just go to the movies.
You're like, yeah, well two tickets to Deep Throat.
And because everyone was like,
whoa, you can just see pornography in the cinema.
There was lines down the block for it.
Heaps of sold out screenings.
And then-
Decades later, Pee Wee Herman walks off in a porno.
And then he's pretty much taken to the Hague.
Yeah. I thought you were talking taken to the Hague. Yeah.
I thought you were talking your way out of it.
No.
And you came back around.
I'm like, you've got too much knowledge that you're going to see something wrong.
But right at the end, it came back around.
Yeah, that's how it is.
So I'll give you the final scores in a second.
But the featured IMDB user review writes, a soft core movie, I won't call it a commie,
as it's not funny.
Cause I think it's meant to be like a,
sassy commie.
It's very serious.
Kind of.
With inserts of a dinosaur toy.
So apparently the dinosaur's real bad.
When you say inserts.
No, soft core.
Soft, soft, soft, soft.
Directed by Gary Graver,
who has directed 125 movies thus far,
and none of them are watchable.
In brackets, well, save for arouse,
but that's only for Tracy Lords.
I think this might be a douche-a-like expert
in the genre somehow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm being after your own heart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he says, hey, pornography can be movies, too.
Yeah.
It's pretty horrid when you have to proclaim the worst movie of Edward Jr's life.
But that's just what this is.
You're familiar with Edward Jr? Yeah, yeah.
I'm familiar with Edward.
Well, his boy got up to some pretty wild stuff as well.
All right. So final score check in fifth place.
There's never been a fifth place before.
Oh, this is a history-making spot.
First ever fifth place is the house on two points.
That's all right, the history books will remember the house.
Yeah, exactly.
They'll forget all of us.
Yeah, we'll go with dust and the wind.
In fourth place on the toilet on six points, it's Dusha.
Nice.
Stepping up onto the podium in third place on seven points.
It's Cass Page.
In jumping in a second place with the handy triple points in that round is Jackson.
I'll take it.
Respect.
Nice silver's all right.
But Jackson also gave up the win with his three points.
If he picked any other answer, he would have won.
But he gave him over to Hayden who wins on 11 points.
Nice done. Really good.
Hayden's first appearance and Hayden's first win.
Congratulations.
I'm the only person to ever beat four.
Yeah, beat four people.
That's true.
That is true.
That's crazy.
History will probably still forget you.
Maybe not.
I'll resign myself to that.
That's okay.
I was so close to,
cause I was, when you were guessing your answer, I forgot the myself to that, that's okay. I was so close to, cause I was when you were guessing your answer,
I forgot that Jax had gone yet.
And I was like, I might just,
no one's gonna guess my answer.
I'll be like, oh yeah, I forgot that ACTC
didn't exist in Dine and Tzitz.
I was so close to just ruining it.
Then you would have lost.
I thought it was unguessable.
Yeah, far out.
And he goes sliding doors.
Sliding keeps it amazing, isn't it?
It's a ruly, dude.
Ruly.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe when Jax has still got it. I'm like,iding doors. Sliding. It's amazing, isn't it? It's really, really.
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe when Jackson's still got it.
I'm like, this probably feels right though.
I think it's probably been the winner of the day.
It's Hayden's game.
So where can people find you all?
Sanspantsradio.com?
Absolutely.
Yeah, we're all there.
So me and Jackson are on Plumbing the Death Star,
which is a pop culture comedy podcast.
Got Thumb Cramps, which is a video game review podcast.
Sort of.
Baseless Speculation, which is a sort of movie review podcast.
Yeah.
So kind of.
You can listen to those three.
They're available on all podcast platforms.
Mm-hmm.
I'm on with Cass, Shut Up a Second.
It's on the Sands Pants Radio Network.
We're currently in Sydney.
We're doing a sort of, not a crossover as
such, but we're just in Sydney with Thumb Cramps and it's really fun. And you
know what? If you need something to do, this podcast is wrapping up after the
fun bit. Cue up an episode of Shut Up a Second. It's all the fun bit.
It's all the fun bit. We cut out the not fun bit. Yeah. So everything you've heard so far, they just cut that bit.
That's awesome. And well, actually tonight, if you were in Sydney listening to this on the day,
we're doing a live one of this. Cass is going to be on it at the Chipo at 7pm.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, come along.
And tomorrow night in Brisbane on the Tuesday night.
I won't be at that one.
Live at the Good Chat Comedy. Well, I haven't asked you yet,
but I'll give you a piggyback.
So nice to meet you Sydney. So yeah, anything else?
So anything else you need to tell people before we go?
Um, listen to Being Hot is Hard as well.
Oh, of course.
That's a good one. I'm in it.
The Indies for Nudes, me and Kassar and Nancy.
There's a lot of good podcasts out there.
And they're all on the Sands Pants Radio Network and whatever this one's on.
I think that every person has too many podcasts
that they listen to and you should put all the podcasts
you listen to on a wheel, spin the wheel,
whatever it lands on, unsubscribe.
I was thinking unsubscribe from everything else.
Just really lock in on one.
Lock in on one?
Yeah.
I think that's a great idea.
I reckon you should listen to Who Knew It
with Matt Stewart.
That's good.
It's a really good one.
It's a great podcast.
It's fun to be on and it's fun to listen to.
Yeah.
I bet you think people should give it a five star review.
Absolutely. I think it would be illegal not it a five-star review. Absolutely.
I think it would be illegal not to, right?
Maybe tell their friends.
Yeah. So you might want to implement a system
that Jax and I have on thumb cramps,
which is people started emailing us their phone numbers
and we started calling them while we're recording the podcast.
But, and they were very excited to speak to us.
But then we asked if they'd given us a five-star review
and if they hadn't, we hung up on them.
So there's real consequences, you know. For lying or- For lying. to speak to us. But then we asked if they'd given us a five star review and if they hadn't, we hung up on them. Yeah.
So there's real consequences.
Yeah.
For lying.
For lying.
Well, yeah, we don't know if they lie, obviously.
They were being honest.
It's the honest system that we go by.
Yeah, you should lie, really it seems.
If you lie, you won't get hung up on.
Yeah.
But we'll know.
We'll figure it out.
And it'd be the same way that Matt,
like if you like, you're like,
hey, you have to give us five stars.
Cause if you come to a live show
and you haven't given me five stars,
when I'm on stage, I'll feel the vibe.
You want to go home.
And I'll shoot you.
As soon as they turn you away at the door.
Yeah.
I don't care if you've paid, go away.
Go refund.
Shoot them with a gun.
No, no, no.
Dude, that's all, that's rocks.
Can you say this into the mic, Dusha?
This is great.
This is content, baby.
This is great content.
Don't waste it.
Were we recording that whole time?
No, just now.
We didn't get Dusha's great B-movie raps.
I know, that sucks.
That's so sad.
Can you wait, just out of context, can you just do it?
Uh, no, I can't remember what I said, which is sad.
Yeah.
Jackson remembers.
I've got the mic and it's time to get groovy.
Let me tell you about a little thing called the B movie
extra syllable
I mean, that's gonna be the only one that goes out of the world unless you do it better
I can't do it better Jackson's a much better rapper than me
The only person that might have Jackson beat is Hayden. Yeah
I got bars. You go bars. He really good songs. I didn't really, at least I won't. No, don't talk about this on the...
This doesn't need to be on a podcast.
That's fine.
That's fair.
Well it is.
Shit.
Yes.
Who's very happy with his current answer.
Although I did love Splendid Spotted.
Splendid Spotted Gentleman was fantastic.
Absolutely. Mushrooms are gentlemen.
I think that's very, like they have gentleman energy.
Thank you.
Also there were no dashes.
No dashes.
No dashes.
Yeah, you still haven't proved your theory
about how things are dashes.
Oh no, is it like, so having a two word thing
in a description of an animal.
So like a, by description to be the name.
Blue footed booby?
Yeah, blue footed booby?
That's because that's a description of the foot.
It's blue footed.
Oh true, it casts us you there.. It's blue footed. It's not a kid.
Otherwise it would be footed booby.
Like you dash them to connect the thing.
It's like the foot dash.
It's like when you put back cuts around the maths.
Are you confusing mushrooms for children of divorcees?
I'm thinking of double-barreled surnames.
I like calling double-barreled because it's always gone. Like I'm always, anytime someone says double-barreled surnames. Yeah. That's fair. I love calling double-barreled cause it's always gun.
Like I'm always, anytime someone says double-barreled
surname, I'm looking down the gun.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Big time.
That's good.
Not happy with my answer,
but I spent way too much talking about.
Sometimes you gotta, you gotta have some stinkers.
Yeah.
I'm coming off a pretty weak one. We're all gonna be tossing stinkers in some stinkers. Yeah. I'm coming off a pretty weak one.
Toss and stinkers in the bowl tonight. Yeah.
Anyway, I built in the log cabin.
I think about five minutes ago, Dush interrupted me as I was saying,
many American radio stations refuse to play the song unedited because they didn't
know what the word Haver meant and presumed it must be something offensive.
Also, bonus fun fact from Nathan.
His uncle was once flipped off by one of the proclaimers
after he almost hit him with his car accidentally
as he was crossing the road.
That is a fun fact.
That's all.
That is fun.
That's all, that is sick.
That's big fan of that.
Seeing a famous person either in the car
or if you're in a car and seeing a famous person.
Crazy.
No other feeling like it.
Cause you can't do anything about it.
You just like, oh.
You go full, oh, mode.
Do a point and what?
That's it.
They're gone.
So fleeting.
And then you tell someone it's not a good story.
You're like, I saw them from a car.
I was driving past the street and Kylie Minogue was there.
I couldn't stop.
Cause also you're like,
I don't know if I'm into that as a story.
That's a pretty good story.
You call me anytime.
I couldn't stop.
Sorry.
Was it Jess Perkins that hit John Cena with their car?
Nearly.
That's awesome.
But he didn't flip her off.
I think he gave her a big smile.
Sorry, I'm in the road.
I'm a man.
I should have been on the path.
He's a big man.
He's so big he wouldn't fit on the path.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe he's in the, John Cena is probably at the size though
where he's probably confident that if he gets hit
with a car, it's like 50 feet.
Yeah, he'd body the car.
Yeah, like not just hurt as in damage,
but the car feels pain.
Yeah.
I shouldn't have done that.
First car to cry.
Vroom, vroom.
Yeah.
Hey Dusha.
Hey.
A while ago, a guest, Rob Brazen was on and he, he just started, he decided that the sponsor
should be Australian salt.
And then he just started coming up with great slogans for Australian salt.
Is there some, is there some industry that you want to get some advertising out there
for?
Australian salt is a good one.
I think like just advertising something like the roads.
Oh yeah.
Just like.
Have a drive on them.
Yeah.
You know, something like that.
Yeah, exactly.
Have a drive on them and you'll never look back.
Yeah, they'll take you to where you need to go.
Roads.
Australian roads.
The roads.
Even if they're closed, the roads,
even if everything else is closed, we're open. Oh yeah. That's good.
Yeah. Unless we're closed. Yeah. Australian roads. Yeah. You would have to have an asterisk
that say apart from road work. Yeah. Yeah. Or like Australian roads. Even if you go the
wrong way, you'll go the city. Okay. This one's fallen apart at the seams. Um, I want something to
like a scenic drive, you know, like this is, I need like a Don Draper to walk in and sort
this right out for me.
Well, I think of, um, I think of Jackson as Australia's Don Draper, but he's busy at the
moment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's coming up with his own slogans.
Do you want me to explain what Philadelphia is? Will that help?
It's a kind of cheese.
I don't think so, bro.
Yeah, no, I think Rhodes is great.
And like, I think we do these pro bono.
Yeah.
And then I assume the road industry will get in contact.
Yeah.
And they've got so much money.
They're always doing road work.
So if they just abandon one of the road works and give us the $1.2 billion.
Sweet. Just go around. they're always doing road work. So if they just abandoned one of the road works and give us the $1.2 billion.
Yeah. Sweet.
Just go around.
Like the Hume or whatever.
It can have a few potholes for a while.
It'll be fine.
The thing is with the roads, like it's literally
you just pour a bit of stuff.
Yeah. And then you drive over it a bunch.
Yeah. What was the guy's name again?
All my stuff. Billy Penn.
Billy Penn.
Crazy to live in the pencil town.
Oh yeah. Like you're a pen.
Whoa. He was a pencil in the pencil town. You're a pen. Whoa.
He was a pencil in a pen city.
He was no, he was a pen in a pencil city.
Oh, he was a pen in a pencil city.
Yeah.
That's the curse.
That the ink.
That's a no.
Sorry.
I'm Hayden.
Alanis Morissette rejected the lyrics.
I will say just to point out to the listeners
who may be listening to the show,
but haven't been on this show before,
that Jackson has now entered the danger zone
where he spent too long on his answer
that means that nothing he comes up with
will be satisfying to him.
So he's now just stuck in an eternal loop
and he's gonna hit send on the answer.
Matt's gonna get it and Jackson will feel no relief or joy.
Yeah.
You're so right.
It's horrible.
This is atrocious.
The feeling is like nothing on earth.
I was really close to that line before.
Like, I gotta get it done soon or I'm in danger zone.
What if you were gonna be in it for a little bit?
We were, well, I just had to get out of there.
You're gonna hear my answer and you're gonna be like,
I get it, he was in a tailspin.
Like half a sentence.
He just had to.
The goss of Billy means that.
Don't gruff. You gotta understand, I was spinning
and it was either pull the parachute
and just emergency eject or slam it to the ground.
I'd love to see if anyone can guess which one Jack.
Having just read it, I don't know.
I think he's underselling it.
I don't know, we'll see.
Well, that's the thing, Matt,
because like you haven't done your show
from our perspective before.
But even if you do come up with a good answer
when you're in the zone, Jackson's in,
it doesn't feel good enough.
It doesn't feel good.
It doesn't feel good.
Yeah.
My heart's going a mile a minute right now.
I can put your mind at ease.
That's a fantastic answer.
Okay, thank you.
You have to say that.
It's just show.
No, he doesn't.
I don't.
I rarely do.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. No, he doesn't. I don't, I rarely do. Yeah.
Okay, okay.
So we gotta interrupt.
There's a lorikeet just out the window right there.
I think whoever lives in this house feeds that lorikeet
because he looks hungry.
He's just come up to the window.
That is a beautiful, someone's gotta capture this.
Yeah, let me grab a photo.
God, sometimes podcasting is magic.
Holy shit, that is a beautiful bird.
Should we let him in?
He wants to come in.
Oh my God, hello. Be fun if we let a beautiful bird. Should we let him in? He wants to come in. Oh my God, hello.
Be fun if we let him in.
How do we get him out?
Oh my God, he said hello.
There's two.
Wife, he's got a wife.
Or she has a husband.
Oh my God, I love.
She has a wife.
Yeah, come on, Cass.
Can we let him in?
Yeah, I think we should let him in.
I think we should let him in. They seem polite. Cass, come on, Cass. Can we let them in? I think we should let them in.
They seem polite.
Cass, can you, for international listeners,
can you describe a lorikeet?
Think of the gayest little bird.
That's pretty good.
They are-
They're a type of parrot.
They are small though.
They're pretty small.
They're green.
Their chesty neck bit is yellow feathers
where the edges of the feathers are bright red.
So it mostly looks red until they like shimmy a bit
and then you get the yellow undertones.
Their heads are blue, but it's like, you know,
you know when you go bald at the top first?
So you know that ring of hair you get
when you're bald at the top,
but you just have like the little horseshoe?
Yeah, that's like green and yellowy. Yeah. Yellowy green.
And then the tummies are blue. Um, these guys look very curious.
They've got bright orange beaks. They really just hang it out.
I like how you started that. Like the picture in people's minds.
You said they're green. Yeah. And they, except for everyone's picturing full green.
And then you name every part of them a different color.
But like that, mainly green is their backs.
The backs and wings are green.
Bright blue heads.
They, we aren't doing them right.
Something we need to do something.
They want something from us right now.
They want seed.
But I don't, no one, cause we're at an,
this is an accommodation.
So no one could have built up a repertoire.
A thing long enough for them to know that.
That's true.
No, there must be.
I would just like to point out the cast's vibe right now
is that she's about to dive into the kitchen
and just fling herself out a window.
Yeah.
But I don't know if,
I think feeding native animals is not a good idea.
No, it's not.
If you're gonna feed birds,
you shouldn't feed them seed or like meat.
You should feed them bugs.
Cause otherwise their babies get all weird cause they have like no nutrients and their pigs get all, they don't feed them seed or like meat. You should feed them bugs. Cause otherwise their babies get a weird,
cause they have like no nutrients and their pigs get all,
they don't develop and they get all gross.
And they can't eat properly.
I'll Google, what can we feed them?
There's a banana, a birdsy banana?
There's rolled oat, which isn't wheat,
but I don't know how they'll go.
Isn't, don't you, you don't want,
they should be out there getting their own.
Yeah, I think you're right.
Let's not feed them.
Unless anyone has like a box of meal worms,
we can give them.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, is that president box of meal worms, we can give them. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Is that president?
The danger of feeding.
We should feed him.
Yeah. Rob Kennedy.
Sort out Robert's problem.
Just send a power key in there.
Maybe that's who killed JFK.
A worm exploded.
And that's why they couldn't find the shooter.
I mean, they did find the shooter, but yeah.
Doesn't that out to me.
I think worm in his brain that exploded.
Yeah, it makes more sense.
Yeah, it makes more sense to me.
I would be worried that Robert Kennedy Jr.'s brain
is just gonna do that now.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, he has a family history.
Are you thinking he's passed that down to his nephew?
Yeah.
Yeah, it just runs in the family.
It's a genetic worm.
It's a genetic worm.
I didn't realize it was a genetic worm.
They're susceptible to worms.
They got the tastiest brain for worms.
Okay, Cass, we got distracted.
Yeah, we did.
You still seem distracted.
You really want to feed these birds,
even though I'm guessing that Google said,
do not feed these birds.
When I typed in feeding lorikeets,
not only did, so Google's first suggestion
was like a website from the New South Wales government
titled the danger of feeding lorikeets.
So I'm not going to feed the lorikeets.
Are they gone anyway? They left. Yeah, they got bored keys. So I'm not gonna feed the Laura keys. They're going anyway.
They got bored.
They realized we're not giving them anything.
They're like the government's onto us.
Those candidates love having holes in their heads.
Don't they?
They truly do.
Christ.
And hot wives.
Yeah.
Oh, is his wife hot?
I'm just guessing.
Yeah.
I think all women are beautiful.
Yeah.
Great save.
Women are hot.
I think generally women are beautiful. Yeah. Great save. Women are hot, I think, generally speaking.
Yeah.
Man, I hope any of those things I just said were vaguely correct.
So he was a politician and an activist and we're trying to think of the things he did
next.
What did he do?
What in 2019 did he change to be doing?
It's scary to answer really quickly because there's always a chance you fucked up
and like misunderstood the prompt. That's always a stress for me. Um, but I don't think I did.
I've done it before. You can really hear your answer against everyone else too.
Oh yeah. I didn't know what I was saying. Like, oh, we were describing a verb.
It's like, and that's like, oh yeah. So we're just gonna give you the answers and the first answer here is John.
And the second answer is, worked at the zoo.
Yeah.
Sorry, I got super distracted.
I think it might be John.
I'm like, do I sort of?
I think, what did he do for a living?
Maybe he was the guy named John, I don't know.
Obviously something went wrong with porridge in their past.
Yeah, I would imagine so.
Otherwise they would have had a porridge related.
Porridge is hard to sex up though.
I get why he didn't put it in the book.
You know, what can you do with porridge?
You chop up a banana and they put some brown sugar.
Oh my God. Oh, porridge is good.
Actually, should we go get some porridge after this?
Do you know a good porridge place nearby?
At this point, I'd be happy to eat anything
because I just realized that it's 3 p.m. currently
and I have not eaten a single thing today.
I had a bit of banana bread and a coffee this morning
and that's it, about 9.30.
We made a terrible mistake.
We're dumb.
Agreeing to this podcast, no, just kidding.
Love being on the podcast, Matt.
Happy to come back anytime.
We are in Sydney.
Which is why I got you four great Sydney guests.
Exactly, have some classic Sydney side. I'm I got you four great Sydney guests. Yeah, exactly. Classic Sydney side.
I'm famously from Bondi.
Me too.
Yeah, Jackson's there too.
It was funny because I was fully intending to book some Sydney comics.
But then I was going to do that later that day that you messaged me saying,
hey, I'm going to be in Sydney. We're all in Sydney at the same time.
That's easy.
Really fell into your lap.
Yeah.
Not just easy, but more comfortable.
I don't have to reach out to people I don't know.
It's just old friends getting together.
It was like, well, this will be a hostile podcast.
It's all very loud and there's heaps of them,
but at least I don't need to send a message
that might get left on read.
Yeah. And like, you know, it's good for the listener.
They're like, I've heard this before,
but this is it in a house. Yeah. And like, you know, it's good for the listener. They're like, I've heard this before, but this is it in a house.
Yeah.
We got the lorikeets before.
Oh yeah.
I'm sure that won't be edited out at all.
No, that'll be edited out like this to the end.
Yeah, exactly.
There's a fun section at the end Hayden,
little bits that are chopped out to maybe.
The fun section.
That's too far away from the quiz.
Sure.
They get trimmed down and put to the end.
It's beautiful.
So that I reckon there might be a
chunky lorikeet section.
I think I should do that with my podcast,
but that would just be the whole podcast.
Well, I might do it and just cut out the not funny bits
and put them at the end as a little bonus.
That's really good.
That's all the dry stuff.
Anything that doesn't land.
Just the minute of the...
Sorry, what was I saying?
Sorry.
That's like my shoes.
Yeah.
Oh wait, hang on.
Can you say that again?
I think, oh no, no, sorry.
I thought we had an audio issue.
Yeah.
Hope that's good for you Connor.
Sorry. Isn't it my turn?
Oh no.
That was something Hayden did before. Yeah. Hope that's good for you Connor. Sorry. Isn't it my turn? Oh no.
Hayden did before. Yeah. No, that's-
That could go on the end of the- in the boring section.
Absolutely.
I'm looking forward to it.
Hey dude, why do you look so upset?