Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S1 E6 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Four hours in the bathroom'

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

The team finally interrogate Henk - the MAN who was reported to have spent 4 hours in the LADIES bathroom during the wedding and who was found at the scene of the crime cleaning up the turd. Was Henk a hero or was there another reason why he was motivated to clean up that poo? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previously, on Who Shat on the Floor at My Wedding. Did you notice anything suspicious? I did notice one of the guests, Henk, spent most of the evening stood at the entrance of the ladies' toilets talking to everyone. And so there was this perfectly shaped, almost comedy... Shit! So you were backing off, Emma was backing off, but Henk was drawn closer. shaped almost comedy. Shit! So you were backing off, Emma was backing off,

but Henk was drawn closer, like a moth to a flame. I think Henk felt that he was rescuing the ladies. Did he look stressed, tense? Did he look like he was hiding anything? I don't think so, but what makes me think, though, because he was talking to absolutely everyone, so he actually spoke to the culprit at some point. Welcome to episode six of Who Shed On The Floor At My Wedding.

Who are we interviewing today? Hink, the man who was found in the ladies' bathroom cleaning up a turd that was supposedly not his own. Can i just say i don't like how he's being framed in this way okay so let's assume that the poo didn't happen and we're not making a podcast how the fuck do you explain a fully grown man standing in the ladies bathroom for four hours during a wedding having food and drinks delivered to him. I just feel like you're losing your cool a little bit right now. I am actually, Helen, and that's because I don't understand this type of behaviour. I agree. I don't understand as well,

but I just think he was a hero. For me, he was a hero. That night, he was a hero. Anybody who's going to get down, hunch over that poop and clean it up and make sure that people don't get it on their nice shoes, he's a decent folk. And even if that person was to then remain in the ladies' bathroom for four hours receiving food and drink, is that same person a hero? It's the fries, isn't it?

It's the fries that tipped you over the edge. I mean, when I heard that he received fries with mayonnaise while he was just hanging out in the bathroom, that tipped me too. Even our clinical forensic psychologist, Mike Berry, thinks that's pretty dodgy. Why would he want to spend hours in the ladies' bathroom? It seems a very odd behaviour, to say the least. And eating as well, you know. Unless he's just trying to be eccentric

and trying to be a star and get attention that way. I can't see him having the accident. I can't see him as being the joker, you know, like the student prankster type thing. And he may well have done it and then cleaning up because of that. Or, as I suggested earlier, that he actually is cleaning up because somebody else has done it and he doesn't want to ruin your wedding, so he's cleaned up the mess.

There's something about him that's making me feel uncomfortable. Is he the caring man, the hero of the wedding? Or is he a prankster? I think we need to know what was going through his mind when he was doing that act. I think a good question for this is, firstly, what motivates you? What motivates you as a person?

And then secondly, what motivates you to pick up someone else's shit? You know, the two have to be tied in some way. There's got to be some crossover there. I wonder if there's history. Could there be history? Well, funny you should ask that, Helen, because history is certainly what we've delved in today,

social media history, and you won't believe what Karen found. I actually have no words for this. I thought I knew Hank. I mean, we invited him to our wedding. How much can you ever know anybody, though? I went for a deep dive in his Facebook page. I went all the way back to 2009. That's nearly the start of Facebook. It was basically his, you know, right to his

initial post. I went through everything he'd ever posted. Wow. It's probably worth mentioning that he's an artist. So whatever you saw on there would have had an artistic angle or flair to it. Definitely, but artists might want to explore a variety of things. They might go, oh, the sky inspires me today, or this inspires me. Look at this rose that I found whilst walking in a garden. Exactly. Look at this door handle. It's so inspiring. It's so spiky.

I've seen him. I know when he goes to his house in Greece that he makes sculptures out of driftwood and, I don't know. And human teeth, by the looks of it. Yeah, and it looks like human teeth, so they're pretty grotesque. It's like eyeballs and teeth. How do you get your hands on human teeth? Now, just as I was saying it, I was wondering the same thing, actually. Because you can ask for your teeth back when you go to the dentist and they pull one out.

The last image he sent, the last photo he sent to me on WhatsApp was actually him in the dentist chair. He's had a lot of teeth replaced, I think, so they could very well be his. Did he do that for the art? His Facebook profile tells us that he has an obsession with poo. He has an obsession with toilets and he has an obsession with faeces. I mean, you've got pages and pages and pages of these.

Are all of these pictures of shit? Yes. Are you serious? We're talking over 30 posts about toilets, pictures of actual toilet bowl, where he sees shits and things that aren't shits. And in one of these posts, he references a patch on a toilet floor

and he mentions Rothko. So he is inspired by faeces. He said Rothko versus Duchamp. He saw art from two masters, a dirty stain, a patch and a stain just in front of the toilet bowl. He saw art and inspiration. I'm honestly shocked and alarmed. And I just don't know how to deal with this.

I thought you guys were clutching at straws somewhat, but now I see these pages and pages and pages. Yes we're not. This is proper evidence. I even went to print it out. It's going in my briefcase. I'm getting a manila folder for Henk. It's serious. He's going to be coming in 10 minutes. So Lauren and I had a call with a retired interrogator yesterday and we got a few tips. You have to adjust your style depending retired interrogator yesterday and we got a few tips. You have to adjust your style depending on the personality type. And we described Hank as a, he's a very strong personality. So he can be quite difficult if he wants to be.

And so the interrogator said, let's appeal to your inner damsel in distress, which is of course highly. You need to make him appeal. No, we have to say oh we're really struggling with this investigation please help me apparently that would be for strong personalities that the pathetic approach might help yeah not gonna lie it's not the favorite piece of advice i've ever been given but yeah i'll try to play the damsel in distress slash good cop. Henk also tagged one of his shit photos, shitshow. That's the official hashtag for this podcast.

So somehow he knew this was going to happen. Come on, maybe I just thought we were original. Okay, do you want to know what the most alarming thing is? So if I haven't already got you on side by now with his obsession, his sick obsession with faeces, coprophilia it's called actually, is... Wait, wait, isn't that when you...

You get sexual pleasure out of it. Yeah, so I think that's a step too far. Would we say a step too far? I think it's a step too far. A step in the right direction maybe. Just understand who you're friends with, Helen. I just want to know your honest reactions. I don't think you've really seen these properly.

And then just think again, if there was to be a wedding number three, you know, would you invite Henk? OK, so last one before he gets here. 2017, you sent out your save the date emails, correct? No, we sent physical save the date emails correct no we sent physical uh save the dates cards but I went back in my email history and I emailed the print shop on the 3rd of December with the files I then obviously went to get the files printed it would have taken me a while to then hand write all of the addresses and put them in the post. So my guess is I definitely sent them before Christmas.

I would estimate around the 20th of December, all those save the dates went in the post box. So it probably would have arrived at people in Amsterdam early January, mid January, given the Dutch system around Christmas. Exactly. So you've got the post delays around Christmas. People often go away. So one question is, where did you go for that Christmas, Henk? And then he comes back on the 23rd of January, 2018, and he posts a photo of a toilet surrounded by cleaning products.

And you can actually find this piece of evidence on our Instagram page, who shacked on the floor at my wedding. And he says, so bear in mind, this is eight months before the wedding. Prepare yourself. The shit's about to hit. I'm sorry. We're talking literally days or even hours between the time he received the save the date for our wedding and posting that and making that comment. Like, that's pretty sinister. It's a very strange piece of timing.

I'm extremely concerned by this evidence. This puts him in a position to have set this entire thing up. He's here! What is your relationship like with him? How would you scoop up a human's code? What did you use to scoop it up? He's here! Hello, Henk. I feel I'm a bit like in the suspect bank with the police here. Listen, Henk, you're both a suspect and a witness.

So it's muddy waters, I will say, but to be honest, you're not the only one. We're going for all leads in this situation. Karen's mum, she's not off the hook. We, you know, like upturn every stone in this investigation everyone's pretty much guilty so we're you thought Hank was guilty from the start and I thought

Hank was innocent Helen what have I taught you we must always assume that people are guilty we cannot we cannot give them

the benefit of the doubt I'm sorry Hank we just can't but isn't that in like in a good judicial system I should have the benefit of the doubt

no no no that's a bad judicial system it changed earlier this year actually the way that the judicial system works should have the benefit of the doubt no no no that's a bad judicial system it changed earlier this year actually the way that the judicial system works they just updated it recently even here mainly for the interrogation chambers which is this lounge the living room you mean

are you saying that this living room is zoned much like the International Criminal Court in The Hague yes it's got it its own laws. Pretty much, yes. We're kind of like a standalone government here and we've got our own rules.

What is your relationship like with Helen and Karen? Like friendship scale, ten being soulmates, one being enemies. Where would you say they rank on the scale? I would say we're at the 7 at the moment. It's hard to say, I mean we've

been seeing each other a lot more but I think we're still in the growing phase I think. You wouldn't want to be at 10 anyway because you don't want to be soulmates. No, but it's exhausting Yeah, you're my number 10 Lauren You're at pen pal phase for me Two

We're pen pals. So talk us through the wedding. We arrived at the boat and got on deck. It was not as warm as I was hoping it would be and I only had a

button up shirt on so it was kind of chilly. We all had a drink. I think it was like uh you guys have water with um with some fruits or something in it i believe good memory must have been a memorable water and then um i'm not sure there was there was a really nice band playing it was like a little jazz band but like four people i think with a violin and a guitar and i don't know if that was singing or not don't remember that and we went past the windmills and stuff and then you got married.

Yeah. I actually don't know how it ended. I do know, I do remember me spending a lot of time in the bathroom, the ladies' bathroom.

I know that. Not really. I wasn't aware of that. Toilet sessions are good hangout places. It's like, toilets are like the next best thing

next to the kitchen so Henk it's funny, you go through the wedding, you've just told us what happened at the wedding but you missed quite arguably the entire point of why you're here today which is the fact that you decided it was a good idea to kneel down

and scoop up human poo there's like, I'm in the ladies bathroom with I think like six, seven girls kneel down and scoop up human poo. There's like, I'm in the ladies' bathroom with I think like six, seven girls, and I'm pretty sure everyone's grossed out, and I don't really care about stuff like that, so I'm like, let me clean it up so no one's grossed out anymore.

That was my only logic. And can you remember the other six to seven people that were there? Let me think. Not really. Some people I don't know by name. Kelly, for sure. I think probably Emma, Nicolette.

I know there's a picture of around this moment in the bathroom. Kelly has a picture of us all in the bathroom in the mirror. Yes. Do you know it? I'm aware of that photo, but that is actually taken several hours after the incident. How about the floor plan? Yeah. Can you just mark out where you saw the faecal matter? So yeah. Take your time. So I would say... Oh, see, in my memory... Wait, this is... Wait, oh, right, I went like this. Oh, yeah, OK.

I think this is around over here. Was it inside the... Was it in the main room or was it in the actual toilet? I think it was outside. Outside the cubicle in the main toilet area. That's unbelievable. But this is what I've been saying all along. I genuinely thought it was outside. Yeah. That's unbelievable. But this is what I've been saying all along. I genuinely thought it was outside.

That's so weird. How the hell could somebody do that without anybody noticing? Well, I don't think anyone I really don't think anyone deliberately shat on the floor because there was constantly someone in that bathroom. This is my theory. Yeah, this is weird.

Is that a lot of people do not want to sit down on public toilets. Yeah. Right? So they hover. Because they were too drunk. So they wanted to hover, but also leaning forward at the same time to catch a wall. So what I think is that maybe someone dropped a turd in their underwear.

Right? What? Yeah, because... On a shed in their undies. Yeah, because they were hovering, right? And they were drunk. You sort of lose your aim. So it fell in the underwear. And while pulling it up, it fell out.

And they just simply kicked, and they were drunk. And while they opened it, they kicked it out. And that's how I stepped out and smashed it into the floor. There's lots to unpack here. Okay. I think I'm onto something. You've got a very specific theory. Yeah, well, because i have had poops land in my underwear well go camping for example i'm not the only person this is a phenomenon about pooping

pooping you sorry you've shat in your pants when like we'll go camping for example you're like yeah you're like you're like hoovering somewhere over a hole. And then you just think... We've all had that. No, we have not all had that. OK, so you're saying that even in female underwear, that could have fallen in? Yeah, probably not in a G-string. Yeah, I was about to say, would you rule out G-strings then? Yeah, probably.

Yeah, we could rule out the G-strings, I think think i'm kind of hoping that at some point during the investigation i can email everyone and say um could you all please mail me the underwear that you wore to the wedding just so i can you know really pin them up my forensic science exactly yeah and just you know measure all of the and see how many g-strings there were. Because if your theory is correct, which I'm not saying it is because I'm the detective, then that means that someone who is wearing a G-string did not commit the crime. Yeah, I would say, I would say, yeah, yeah. It's very, very likely that a G-string, a G-string wearer could be cancelled out. I mean, I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know what kind of. If it was a G-string, it'd act cancelled out. I mean, I'm not sure.

I mean, I don't know what kind of... If it was a G-string, it'd act like a cheese slicer, wouldn't it? Yeah, it'd be $2. True. Okay, let's just cut to the chase. So you're saying that you think the poo was located outside of the toilet? I think so, yeah. Do you think someone kicked it along then?

That's what I think. I think it fell out in the stall and then someone, like, in opening kicked it. And it could, that's what I think. I think it fell out in the stall and then someone like in opening kicked it and it could have even been the next person. How would you describe the faecal matter that you picked up?

First of all, you can't really say a lot about the shape I think because it was smashed into the floor. Right? I mean,

it wasn't like an easy pick up. It was scratching involved scratching with your fingernails yeah yeah yeah well wrapped in toilet paper of course so so it was uh what i remember it was a bit light brown flattened flattened and a bit oval shaped like uh like a like a like one of those like one of those those mini Costa Rican bananas that you can't eat, you know, that only animals eat. And we'll never eat after hearing that. So let's see if we can jog your memory of the consistency of the poo.

Karen is holding a version of the Bristol stool chart that she created earlier today using chocolate. Oh, God. Oh, boy. This is beautiful. So can I just talk you through what we've got here? We've got Hank. Was it type one, the Maltesers, which was a very hard, nuggety individual lumps.

No. Or was it type two, the chocolate dipped peanut clusters? A little nutty log, again, quite tough and hard consistency. Sausage shaped, but lumpy. And what about type three, which is the slightly manhandled snickers bar which is quite a cracked but hard stool no or is it type four that's tickling your fancy the snickers bar covered in smooth nutella i would say a type four between type four and type three but a bit smashed. In the consistency?

Yeah. What did you use to scoop it up? Toilet paper. Oh, toilet paper. Very reasonable. Actually, now that I think of it, that must mean then that it wasn't completely smashed into the floor. Because it wasn't that I had to scratch from the start. that I had to scratch from the start.

So the first chunks came off with the toilet paper around my hand and then the rest, yeah, I started using the wet toilet paper to soak it and scratch it off. What I'm actually, what I am curious about because I don't know what I did with it. Did I flush it

or did I throw it in the trash can? Would any form of torture help that memory come back to you? No, no. This is part of the patchy memory. Okay, fine. I won't hold it in. Don't worry. And what motivated you to clean up

the faeces? What came into into your head talk us through your thought process what well that's what i said earlier it's um because i was in a lady bathroom and most girls were like oh there's poop and i was like i'm not really phased by stuff like that so i just said okay i'll clean it up then because then no one else has to do it and it's a nice thing to do how nice is that it's because okay i'll give you a little bit of my history. I used to work in the hospital. My parents worked in the hospital all their lives, basically, and I did my first weekend job in the hospital,

in which I had to get rid of the containers, all the containers throughout all of the departments of the hospital. So from the emergency room to the kitchen to wherever. So that included also things like the operation rooms. So sometimes I literally had to throw bags full of human fluids and stuff away. And for some reason, what they do is, at the operation table, because they have to see what they get rid of, so they don't accidentally cut out a kidney or whatever. So they have to see what they get rid of so they don't accidentally cut out a kidney or

whatever right so they have to show what's in there so they're in transparent boxes with all the fluids in there and so you have to collect those and then throw throw those away into a container and sometimes those things would break open and things would fall over your hands this was before there was all these strict security measures so i got quite insensitive to to disgusting things and so indifference, is that just pure indifference or is that kind of you're just you like it? No you become numb to it. Oh yeah being numb and completely fine with feces all over your hands is very normal Henk. Henk what was your favorite part of the wedding? My favorite part of the wedding my favorite part of wedding

i think you were in the toilet for most of it you know it can be a moment from the toilet yeah that's okay no i don't know i don't have one favorite moment do you have a least favorite moment anything you hated no probably, probably the least favourite was when you hear that the family has invested 140 bottles of champagne and I'm not really a champagne drinker. So it's funny because a couple of the people

who we've spoken to, witnesses, when we asked them what their least favourite part of the wedding was, they said, probably finding a shit on the floor. And you're the person who cleaned it up. when we asked them what their least favourite part of the wedding was, they said, probably finding a shit on the floor. Really? And you're the person who cleaned it up. Yeah, yeah. But that doesn't even come close to your least favourite part.

No, but because I'm indifferent to it. Yeah. So I just explained. I'm indifferent to shit. I mean, can I just jump in here? And I'm sorry if the tone of this interview is going to change after this question a little bit. But I just feel like you've painted quite a picture mr hank of what i mean you've

basically portrayed yourself you might as well be sitting here in a nun's outfit you're like the mother teresa of shit you know you grew up you know volunteering at a hospital cleaning up you know selflessly cleaning up other people's excrement you know you do it at a you do it at a party where everyone's taking really good care of you. So it's also a nice thing to do. See, if I was at a party where I have to pay for everything myself, I probably wouldn't have done it. I'm just saying that, I mean, we've got, you know,

there's the selfless behavior and being described as a knight in shining armor. I'm just saying that, you know, I feel like we're painting a very innocent picture of you. And, you know, I think having known you for quite a few years, you're not quite as angelic as you're coming across. No, I never said that. I'm not painting any picture. Did you, when you were in the bathroom,

hanging out in the toilets, did you see any other men come through into the toilet area? Yeah, good question. i think if another guy had to come in you'd have sort of i think you'd have remembered that you'd have like embraced my territory yeah you'd be like fuck off mate go back to the men no i don't remember so probably not hank what was your favorite snack that you had at the wedding i have absolutely no idea what i ate zero memory okay so what did you give the vegans? Something else. I don't know

much about veganism. Can you just a chips vegan? Depends what chips it are. Like fruits, normal fruits. Are they vegan? Like french fries you mean? Yeah. Yeah, I would say unless you maybe fry them together with the hamburgers. Okay.

Would you accept a snack that is frites, you know, at an event, knowing that it's probably tainted with some sort of meat product? Depends on how tainted it is. Is mayonnaise vegan? No. Eggs. So if I was to tell you that there are witness reports of you consuming frites and mayo

Yeah, that would be correct That would be correct because I only gave up cheese in January last year Ah, there you go, that's why Yeah Oh, so you weren't a vegan at the time of the week I'm a vegetarian And if those witness reports were to state a specific location that you were found eating that snack, could you guess where that location might be? I would assume either in the bathroom?

Yeah, correct. People were probably bringing you drinks and bringing you food then. You wouldn't have left that spot. I have left that spot, yeah. Jesus, of course't have left that spot i have left that spot yeah jesus of course i've left the spot who was bringing you down these who was your little you know private waitress your little bitch who was your little yeah i don't know actually everyone was who was your little bitch no i wasn't i wasn't continuously there i did actually go up to get my own drinks because i'm better at getting drinks myself okay. So you left the bathroom a few times, like two or three during the night?

I don't know. Yeah, but several times for sure. Yeah, yeah. Several times. So let's say you were a detective. You're not. I am. And this was your case.

Who would you say was the person who shat on the floor at the wedding? An accident. Do you know what I find interesting? So all the different lines of inquiry that we've had, which is, you know what I find interesting so all the different lines of inquiry that we've had which is you know malicious somebody was angry their motivation you know they were angry and it was you know the food wasn't hot enough like a hate poop

or you know dietary problems or you know all these different things sex related accident we didn't even ever come up with accidents of course we did i just think accidentally pushing a shit outside of the cubicle is a little bit far-fetched when you let's say you have this thing that like uh like a ceramic thing like a like a ball or something and you drop it right and then you try to catch it but you accidentally kick it yeah and then

you're even aware of it imagine if that thing is landed without you knowing in your shorts and bounced out you have to do some sort of horseback kick though as you're squatting down you'd have had to perfectly time sort of little no i think what happened is like you because these people are wasted they're leaning forward and they move around and probably they like oh i'm done and they they get get back up and that's when you catapult it out see See, I think that... I think it's a catapult situation. I think doing it into, like, a little temporary hammock of your pants

and then, like, catapulting it on the floor, we don't even need that extra step. Is there a temporary hammock? A temporary hammock? What the fuck? Helen! Helen, have you got a fresh pair of temporary hammocks on today?

Helen, have you got a fresh pair of temporary hammocks on today? Do you call your underwear temporary hammocks? For this shit, it was a temporary hammock. Yeah, a temporary resting place. Why does the shit get to go on a summer holiday all of a sudden? Well, it was lounging around. Lounging in the Bahamas. Yeah, it's true. I can't continue with this any longer.

That's it for me. I'm out. No, but it could equally have just been done directly on the floor and then... That is also possible, yeah. Then just kicked out. That's also possible. But when there's a hammock around,

you always just want to go and lie in it for a temporary period of time. No, it's also very possible that while hoovering, you just lean over too far backwards and then you completely miss the hammock altogether. We are concerned that someone, the person that did the crime, has been

posting on social media. Do you post on social media ever? Yes, I do. Do you post about things that you... What do you post about? Stuff I find. Stuff you about? stuff I find stuff you

stuff you like? stuff I like stuff I see on the street art that I make occasional activist stuff like veganism and stuff

would you say that you only post you know you wouldn't ever really post about something that you're post, you know, you wouldn't ever really post about something that you're indifferent to? It depends. Yeah, it depends

because I can be indifferent to a lot of things but if they're appearing at the right moments, they might become a point of interest. Interesting. Earlier in the chat,

several times actually, it's one of your kind of, I say, defense mechanisms. You've said that you're very indifferent to and it's one of your kind of defence mechanisms. You've said that you're very indifferent to poo. To a lot of things, yeah. Fecal matter, poo, bathrooms, toilets, cleaning up, poo.

Yet, when I look back at your Facebook profile, with the help of Karen, because we're not officially friends and we probably won't ever be after this discussion, probably won't ever be after this discussion. I've noticed that you post a lot about toilets, fecal matter. I do. Oh, yeah, I've done a bunch of those, yeah. Because sometimes they're amazing. It's funny because you say that you're indifferent to poo. I'm not indifferent to poo because I do it every day. I'm indifferent to the disgustingness of poo.

Let me just draw your attention to a few of your latest posts. Oh, God. I'm counting over a wadge of paper with all the printouts of Hank's previous posts. Helen almost dropped them on the floor. There were so many. God, these are good. 2012, 2014.

Look at this. You're funny. This is fucking gold. 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. Several times in 2019, big year for poo. When you posted a photo of a toilet on the 23rd of January 2018 with the caption, prepare yourself, the shit's about to hit, what did you mean? I have no idea, I need to see that picture cleaning products it's a picture of a toilet with the lid up with a shit ton of mops and

cleaning equipment it's about it's about that let me see it's a it's about those cleaning products as far as i know oh yeah because this person has so many fucking cleaning products over here that they must be expecting something massive that's the reason like a shit on the floor um a lot a lot of shits on the floor lots of them i mean have you seen this this guy's got like seven mobs here. When you posted that photo of a toilet saying, shit's about to hit, had you just received Helen and Karen's save the date in the mail? I have no idea. When did you send that out?

I must have. About approximately right before you posted that. Around? It would be a matter of days. Or was it a day later? Or maybe it was the day later. You're just trying to frame me here. I sent it in the mail in mid-December, so it could have taken a couple of weeks to arrive,

but it would have definitely arrived before the 23rd of January. It sounds like a warning to me. You would say so, right? Yeah, yeah, I can see where this is going. You're trying to frame me. No, no, you're trying to frame yourself by posting a photo that says shit's about to hit moments before the wedding that someone shits at. Did you plan

the shit on the floor? I did not. You have to understand where I'm coming from, Henk, and this is extremely suspicious behaviour. I can see that, yeah. This doesn't look good. No. My other issue, Henk, is that since 2012, years before the wedding, you've been posting poo-related posts.

So this is basically when Facebook went live. You've been shouting from the rooftops, you love poo and you love toilets. Yet the wedding occurs on the 12th of August, sorry, 11th of August, 2018. Straight after that wedding is your biggest absence from posting that you have done in your entire history of being active on social media.

Wait, no, I mean, I'm pretty sure you're being very, very selective here. I am not being selective. Well, Karen isn't. I went through absolutely every post and there's a big gap. There's a giant gap. After August?

2018. The next time you post is March. No, I can find March what? The following year, March. We're talking about shit related

or toilet related. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a whole bunch there that I'm pretty sure they're not on here. But maybe I'll have to send in some files after. Yeah, feel free to send in a file a couple of alibis wouldn't do you any harm either at this point no but just generally i just i i you know i think we

all know that you did a great thing here um cleaning up the shit but this evidence that we found on facebook it is it... It looks odd, yeah. Do you think you could just leaf through the files there of the social media and find the... There's one particular image, again, of a toilet bowl. There's quite a few, so it might be hard to find. But toilet bowl, and there's this filthy patch just in front of it. Is it the Rothko one?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the Rothko one. It's amazing, right? The Rothko one, yeah. Just explain. Yeah, just talk us through the beauty that you find in this image. Because it's abstract art it looks like abstract art

doesn't it? It's a beautiful stain I have a question, what's going to happen when you find out who did it? What's going to be, are they going to go to jail? We're going to tie them there'll be a real trial I think we'll build a private jail and just Housley Minna and I will become

the prison guard. Hank, if you could sit opposite the perpetrator of this crime, what would you say to him or her? That's a good question. Stand up

and make yourself known. Be proud. I'm going to look at you. I would like you to look me in the eye. It's going to be good. Put my poker face on. Did you or did you not shit on the floor at our wedding? I did not.

You just nodded when you said that. I know, but I did not. I am not a crook. Well, that was very enlightening. We could, you know, talk about the most important interrogation of the podcast, or we could talk about the most alarming thing that was said during the interrogation, which actually came from Helen, when she referred to undies as temporary hammocks. Like, I'm sorry, yeah, I mean, what on earth was that about?

I was thinking in terms, in fact, have you never heard of the term? No. No, don't try and outsmart us. Have you never heard of the term banana hammock? No. Get online, man. No, just tell us, we're right here. Get online outsmart us. Have you never heard of the term banana hammock? No. Get online, man. No, just tell us. We're right here.

Get online. Just tell us. Banana hammock, it means underwear. For a guy. I couldn't say the poop in a banana hammock because that wouldn't have made any sense at all. So I switched out the word banana and put in temporary. I actually can't talk about this.

I need to, I seriously need to go home and process this. I can't actually. Can we move on because this is, I'm deeply upset by this. I definitely think he wanted us to believe that he went out of the bathroom a lot, but we have so many statements claiming that he was in there for at least four hours. He was there every time I was in there.

We really need to speak to Kelly, his girlfriend. There's something that doesn't sit right with me after this interview, and I think it's just the fact he's got, he's got an obsession with some pretty dark things. He's obviously found inspiration for his art through shit. I mean, it's a theme of his social media. And I don't know, I just feel like there's something a little bit off there

in, you know, his obsession with poo and the timing of that post as soon as he received the save the date. Something's just not sitting right with me. I feel like maybe he isn't all that nice. He knows something that he's not giving us. There's something there. Yeah, I've got a feeling we're going to need to expose him to a bit of the old bad cop.

Coming up next on Who's Chatting the Floor at my wedding. I don't know why, but right this minute, I've just got this really big, like, thing come onto me that is like, what are we doing? What are we actually doing here? What is surprising, though, is four people were wearing a G-string. One person was wearing a swimsuit.

Two people weren't wearing underwear. Does your mum need to know that I've been laughing for two years about the fact that it was possibly your mother that did it? It's like when you put sushi over your naked body. What if our entire marriage is built on a lie?