Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S2 E5 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Daddy Issues’
Episode Date: June 20, 2024It’s T minus seven hours until the undercover operation commences. In this episode, the 'detectives' and Professor Mike Berry nervously make their final preparations for the big event. Under the car...eful supervision of forensic scientist Jo Millington, the team run forensics on the evidence and extract their first bit of DNA evidence - one which could be integral to the case. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Previously on Who Shat on the Floor at My Wedding proudly presents the case of the tiny suitcase.
Why should we care about this tiny suitcase?
I was a little worried and wondered what it was.
After some time I took it inside and I opened it.
And in it I found a pillow, a towel, a toilet bag with a toothbrush and toothpaste, a cap, underpants, male underpants,
worn but washed, a Hawaii shirt worn but washed, swimming glasses, nylon stockings, one parcel
not used, and a comic magazine.
How much is DNA analysis?
Pretty expensive.
This is what it feels like to be working on a real crime.
You're outsourcing the forensic evidence collection to us.
That's how it feels.
Yeah, do you mind if I just have a look at your coat hangers?
Yeah, that's okay.
Can I go out there?
Is that okay?
I've come in with a forensic mind looking at every possibility,
which could be from her setting it up, or it could be quite sinister.
Somebody could be doing it to punch her or stalk her or something like that.
There's lots of possible motives for doing this.
I'm walking down the corridor to try and find Detective Lauren Kilby. Today is the day of the big party.
I want to see how she's feeling.
Lauren?
Hello?
How are you feeling?
Yeah, a little bit.
Extremely concerned about the heat.
We've woken up this morning to a sweltering heat wave.
I don't think Sweden has ever been this hot.
If there was ever a day to avoid wearing a tight tie,
it would be today.
Like, really worried.
I just tried on my shirt,
and even just the shirt alone without the waistcoat.
After some heated wardrobe debates,
Karen and I settled on dressing up like waitresses,
front of house,
as we felt that was the best way to conceal the tie.
Helen is rebelling as expected and wearing her normal clothes with a casual tie.
Our outfits are, for me, woolen black trousers. Black wool. Black wool. A shirt that really shows
up if I have one little drop of sweat, like it just goes see-through. My white shirt has got
like kind of this additional lumpy layer over it, so it's like, it's not just one layer of white shirt. Double insulation.
That's like long sleeve.
And also,
yeah,
it's double insulation
and it goes up to my,
really high up my neck.
So one thing I don't like
when I'm sweltering hot
is that my neck is hot
and my neck is going to
have a double insulated collar
plus a tie.
Breakfast?
Yeah, let's go.
We're at breakfast at the hotel.
It's 7am and tensions are high.
Everyone is feeling a little bit uneasy about the Midsummer Party,
which starts in seven hours.
To add to the uneasiness, Mike Berry starts telling us a horrific story
about a gory murder he worked on, where a woman's breasts were cut off.
All of this is happening in earshot of the table next to us,
at which a lovely family with two small children are sat.
Straight after, Mike tells me he needs to speak with me in private. And I have
a feeling that offending small children is about to be the least of my worries.
Here we are I mean on a slightly serious
point, concerned
about your involvement
in the real world you would have
to declare this a conflict
of interest and
remove yourself from the case
altogether, your mother-in-law
is the victim
so there's emotionality and certainly when I read
the initial suspects there was so much emotionality coming through all that, it was lack of
objectivity. And I have a sneaking suspicion that you were more involved than you'd been letting on.
Okay well I'm definitely not. She would say that, wouldn't she?
Because I didn't know at the time of the crimes.
No, you didn't know Joel then.
No.
But you've known him since.
Yeah.
You've been over here.
You've got to know Christine.
Christine's got to know your mother, Linda.
Now, are you just somebody who says,
oh, here's your opportunity to make a podcast on an interesting event?
Yeah.
And have you been milking it from that point of view?
So getting much out of it so you can get a podcast?
It is likely that I would do something like that, for sure.
Just as it's likely that Helen and Karen faked the shit on the floor at their own wedding to make a podcast.
Yeah.
So it's not beyond us.
No.
Definitely not.
But I don't know if I'd do something like that.
And a nice chance to come to Sweden at somebody else's expense.
But I'm paying for my, it's my expense.
Oh, wow.
So I'm paying part of it.
Oh, wow.
And it's been, yeah, it's not been cheap so I'm not sure I would, you know?
Oh no, seriously though, I would say that there was some element of suspicious behaviour. Is that
what you're getting from my personality, that I'm suspicious, or is it mainly like the situation?
A bit of both. Do I appear suspicious? Really?
I think I'm quite relaxed.
Quite down to earth.
Yeah, but there's another side to you.
There's a serious side to you.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
And that's what I'm plugging into.
Forget all the jokes of laughter and everything else.
There's a side of you which, to me,
I can see you doing that kind of crime.
But what should I do?
Because I can't sit down, can I?
Well, it's a bit too late now.
I did, in fairness, raise this with Karen and all of you
in paper two, I think I sent you.
Yes.
That I had ethical doubts about you and everything else.
So I'm not saying anything I haven't already basically said.
No, no, no.
No, I read that.
I was quite shocked when I read that.
I chose to ignore that part of the report.
Right.
Because conflicts of interest are what we like in this podcast.
That's the sweet spot for us.
So then how would I be involved?
You're taking the opportunity, having seen the incidents,
you're taking the opportunity to then milk it together.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Yeah, that's what I'm...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's 100%.
Well, then Alex, you're culpable in the conflict of interest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you're seeing the opportunity
and you note the opportunity of Christine...
Yeah, we agree on that.
We agree on that.
Yeah, I'm never saying you did it,
but I said that you're acting unethical
by the association with both the victim
and the victim's son.
But yeah, no, I completely agree.
It's unethical, but that's why it's good.
This is The Case of the Tiny Suitcase, Episode 5.
T-minus five hours until the suspects arrive.
We're on our way over to Christina's.
And before we step foot in the slaughterhouse today,
two things need to happen.
Mike Berry needs to meet and cross-examine the victim,
and the detective team needs to do forensics on the evidence. We have spent months strategically
preparing for this undercover operation, and we would now like to share with you the answers to
some key tactical questions that we've asked ourselves in preparation.
What is our official story for why Mike Berry is here?
I just have one question
about your role
when you're undercover, Mike.
So we've agreed
that you'll be related to Karen.
That makes the most sense.
I'm sorry about that, Mike. So we've agreed that you'll be related to Karen. That makes the most sense. I'm sorry about that, Mike.
And I was just wondering if you've had any further thoughts about what your relationship will be.
Will it be uncle or father?
I spoke to my dad today, my real dad.
Yeah.
So I would like to ask your permission, do you mind temporarily handing over the responsibility of being my father to Professor Mike Berry?
Well, we could make it permanent if you like.
Oh, I like that idea.
I can do the slightly weird cousin bit rather than anything closer because then I can't lie.
I can generally say, oh, well, you know what families are like.
They have a bust up and I don't know what the bust up was.
And that makes sense.
If I can't answer a question, it's a family feud.
But if I'm playing close to you, then I would know all these things.
I think Karen's just looking for a bit of a father figure
for the trip generally, I think.
That's why she keeps pushing this of a father figure for the trip, generally, I think.
That's why she keeps pushing this kind of father-daughter requirement.
So that's just a warning for you, Mike.
I think daddy issues is the least of my psychological issues.
I did have a think, whether you're cousin, fun uncle or dad, not to push it again,
but I thought maybe you need to refer to me as a sort of pally nickname.
So we sort of feel, you know, believable. I was discussing it with my dad today what he used to call me and um the nickname he had for me when i was a kid
was rinky dink what i think rinky dink if you look it up on the internet is a is an instrumental
uh version of something which got into the hip parade when you were a kid which you used to dance to it goes how long have you been subject to this abuse family abuse this is turning into a psychological
assessment of i knew this would happen with rinky dink it's not right no i don't feel comfortable
with it i don't either because i just looked it up online and I didn't realise this, but the dictionary definition of rinky dink is amateurish or shoddy,
which is quite fitting, really, given the context of this podcast.
I think crazy uncle would be easier, Roel. Yeah, that's a good one.
If I was your father, then I would have to know a lot more about you. If I'm the crazy uncle that you've never
talked about you know because well you know dodgy background we're not sure about him and everything
else then I can play that role quite easily. You could play the role of having a dodgy background
easily. If we get a confession and arrest someone today,
what is the crime we are prosecuting?
This is obviously two cases of reverse theft,
and we want to know if reverse theft is a crime.
OK. I think it sort of depends what's been left.
This is the voice of criminal lawyer Sam Holden,
who you may remember from season one of
our podcast or the 2012 season of The Voice of Holland. Sam would say he finished in the top 12,
whereas I would say that he finished at number 12. I think that will establish whether a crime
has been committed or not, as something you know bad has been left
behind imagine you lived a little bit more remote in New Zealand in the middle
of nowhere 20 minutes from the nearest town I drove my car and I broke through
into your premises and trespassed and left a pair of my used underwear in a suitcase in your house as a present?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Would you sort of pursue me legally?
Yeah, on those facts, yes, I probably would pursue you legally.
But is it a crime?
I mean, I guess if the panties in that scenario were explosive,
you know, there was some sort of potentially lethal explosive device in there, that would definitely be a crime that you'd want to pursue legally.
But I don't think you have that here, right?
Okay, let me just give you my legal perspective.
Yeah, that's what I'm keen to hear.
Because, I mean, I'm not a lawyer you are but my
understanding is that intimidation is a crime is that correct was there something threatening you
think about the little corduroy suit yes potentially Mike Berry clinical forensic psychologist we asked
him what the most sinister item was and in his, it's the tiny suit because it could be a message or it could be, for example, his theory was that
Christina had had an abortion and the father of the child wanted to take revenge on her because
he didn't want her to have the abortion. So he sent her a message, which was a tiny suit,
which, you know, if she hadn't had the abortion,
the child would have been able to wear on that day.
Wow. And did that happen?
Was there an actual potential abortion happening here?
Christina said that she has not had an abortion.
That's potentially not the crime at hand.
Well, let's not rule that out.
No.
Definitely Mike knows his stuff.
And so if he thinks that there was something intimidating
in that tiny little suit,
then, you know,
then maybe you do have a crime here
because intimidation definitely is a crime.
If someone was threatening Christina's life by that tiny little suit,
that is just classic reverse theft, the crime.
Although Mike Berry doesn't think that's the correct term.
You know how often crimes are committed by, you know, nearest and dearest?
Yeah.
What is the percentage of that versus like a random hit?
It depends what crime you're talking about.
Reverse theft.
Sorry?
Reverse theft.
That's what this crime is. Reverse theft. That's what this crime is.
Reverse theft?
Yes.
I'm not quite sure what you understand by that term.
Instead of taking something from someone's home,
you're planting something there.
So it's reverse theft.
Yeah, okay.
Would you not call it that?
I personally wouldn't know.
But no, fair enough.
Yeah, I can see where you're coming from.
I can see the logic of where you're coming from.
And it's got a nice sexy title, thinking about it.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah.
It will make people think what exactly did you just um infer
that detective lauren kilby makes the crime sexy um and since you've ruined my career it doesn't
make any difference what i say i'll do anymore now so i'll go along with it
writing an 8 000 word chapter on psychology of murder
for a book sometime later this year.
But most crimes are going to be committed by men, by definition.
Men commit more crimes.
Men commit a lot more violent crime.
Things like burglary tends to be a very male crime.
So reverse theft would also tend to be more males.
Maybe you can add that to your book that you're publishing.
Yeah.
We've arrived at the scene of the crime
and it's time to introduce Mike Berry to the victim.
We are very excited about this meeting
because of something that Christina said a few months ago when we were talking about inviting Mike Berry.
I really want him to come. I'm really excited about that. Is he married?
No, actually, I think he's single.
No, I thought the same thing. I was like, I think he might be single.
Okay.
Oh my God, imagine.
Imagine if you fell in love with Mike Berry.
That would be so good.
That's that kind of weekend, you know, midsummer.
Does he have a tweed?
Does he wear tweed?
I've got photos of him.
Shall I send them?
Yeah, send the photos. I built a picture now that he wears tweed and he smokes a pipe.
This is tweed I'm looking at.
Oh, yeah.
This is him.
Can you see on Helen's camera?
Yeah, that's really nice.
It's not tweed, but it's okay.
Professor.
Hello, you're Christina.
Yes, I'm Christina. Hi. Hi, welcome're Christina. Mike Berry.
Yes, I'm Christina.
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome to ***.
Thank you.
Black Lake.
Black.
We call it Black Lake.
Black Lake, okay.
On the podcast.
We've renamed it.
So you've changed the name.
Yeah, we've rebranded your town.
Protect your identity.
It's isolated.
Welcome back.
Hello.
This is so...
Isolated. This is so... It's not isolated.
I mean, you can't find it, and you've been here before.
Only once, though.
Yeah, but that means there's not going to be a complete stranger
who's going to find this place.
Nice to see you.
It's quite rocky here, watch your step.
This is Ewell, my husband slash boyfriend.
And this...
Can you make up your mind which of these.
Christina's son.
Perhaps there's a marriage coming.
Yeah.
We might propose.
Oh, you're not married.
Oh, I saw.
No, no, no.
Ah, so it's partner then.
Partner.
Boyfriend.
Boy toy.
We're here to get married after what happened on their wedding, of course.
Yeah, you've got to be careful.
You can never be too careful with a proposal.
Because we could never get married because I'd be inviting some of the same people that they invited to their
wedding who potentially shat on the floor. Yeah. This is the veranda where the items were deposited.
Yeah yeah.
We are currently sat outside the victim Christina's house in her garden shed.
We're all gathered around quite closely together around a lace covered table.
We've got Professor Mike Berry to my left.
I'm looking opposite to Detective Lauren Kilby and Christina is right on her left.
All the great minds together in one room.
It looks like we might be about to conduct a seance.
Yeah, so midsummer, exciting times.
Really exciting time.
Are you going to dance around a penis pole today?
I'm not sure because we haven't had the time to make one.
Okay.
But who knows what's
happening later in the evening when my parents don't get to sleep? Oh yeah not in front of the
parents. Yeah. Is this the first time you've ever been interrogated on Midsommar? Yeah. Yeah it is.
Okay. What was the size of all of the items? Were they all normal sized other than the towel?
Was there anything else that was no no normal no
not from a very big person normal person yeah pillow was normal size yeah wasn't tiny no no it
was it it was normal size for fuck's sake i asked i asked to see yesterday I asked to see Mikael's pillows
to check if they were tiny pillows.
So that was
unnecessary. Didn't need to check
the size of his pillows. It's probably unnecessary
you checking all of his hangers as well.
Yeah. You did?
Yeah.
Did you check his underwear?
I took some photos of
the undies area because it was kind of exposed.
This is how a real detective works, Mike.
In the field.
Yeah, but did you measure inside the leg?
No, because I only had seconds up there in the little,
I climbed up to that little bed area,
and he let me, like, crawl over.
So you broke the law by not having a warrant to go in,
searching a house without permission.
I asked him if it was okay to do it without a warrant,
and he said yes, more or less.
The intimidation of your voice might have made him...
No, no, no, a soft, loving voice.
And then we are going to leave you alone with Professor Mike Berry,
and we can't control what he will then say or do and I will wish you luck for
that because he takes no prisoners. We walked away because we want to give Mike Berry and
Christina some alone time. Time is of the essence today because the Midsummer Party starts in a few
hours so while Christina's being cross-examined,
we're going to do a forensic review of the evidence
and see if there's any DNA present.
Yep, you can come in now.
Okay, Karen.
Enter with the object.
It's tiny, tiny, tiny.
It's so much smaller than I thought.
Well, I guess we always knew it was tiny, right?
There's potential DNA here. It looks like dandruff.
It is a tiny suit.
She's going to lie it down. She's lying it down
on the brown paper. There's lots of hair on this.
Should you be walking all over the paper? I really don't think
Jo Millington would be approving of this.
Yeah, what's that about?
Because you should have those shoe covers on.
I can even see the sweat patches you've left
on the paper.
Put your shoe covers on.
Put your socks.
I don't know what's happening here,
but I'm not sure I'm liking this vibe.
Do this.
Do you want to get changed?
Do you want to put that on?
Anything else I can do for you?
We're in trouble.
We're sitting in front of some objects that are placed on some brown paper
just in case anything falls off them
and we need to
collect some evidence and this is ready for the dna and fingerprint assessment of the tiny suit
and the suitcase and the goggles so there's a cat entering the forensic examination area that's the
cat i nearly killed hold my mic i've got to get rid of the cat this could be all right there you
go job done it's coming back.
The cat is entering forensic space.
Just close the door. That's the way to deal with it.
I can say them in the shed from here.
Look at Christina's face. She looks worried.
I'm going to be very direct now. Have you set this up?
No.
Why not?
It gives you a chance to have fun at other people's expense?
I could do that at other people.
It would be a very good plan if you were narcissistic
to have all this attention drawn to you in a subtle way
where they keep referring to you as the victim
as if you've been offended or criminalised or something.
So is that part of your process of getting no getting um attention that way no a good way yeah it's a really good
way yeah okay but i i haven't until late in my life now wanted so much attention
there's a community set it up It's just some plan for this little
hamlet
to get attention, you know, worldwide
attention on the internet.
Have you colluded
with others to do this?
No.
No?
No.
Your son...
Joel.
Where does he live?
Nowadays he lives in Amsterdam.
Is this a secret plan to get him back home to see you?
You get...
Not Helen.
What's your...
Laura.
Laura, you know, involved in this so you get your beloved son home
no spend time with you no i think i understand your your thoughts there and i really love to
have him here but i have decided not to get any kind of pressure on them because I want them to be free spirits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't like that when you make people feel things that make them uncomfortable.
So yeah, that could have been a plan, but I wouldn't think that that would have made
him come home.
So you didn't do it?
No.
You've not set it up with your neighbors?
No. Not a family joke on on the family
and you're innocent yeah of what of this prank of pranking myself right okay
apparently helen's got more muscles than me so she um that's what helen what karen just massaged
us both and um told helen that she had
a more muscular back than i did she said i was a bit like a bison and then i got anxious because
i was like we're actually being overlooked by the neighbors and they know we're doing this podcast
and they're just probably seeing me massaging two people like monkeys in the garden at once
actually at once yeah i left hand on helen right it was a bit of a threesome actually oh no let's move on as far as we'll go okay sorry why are you doing the podcast they asked me to uh and i it was really like this that
they have done their first podcast that you were you know engaged in and it was really
successful and they enjoy it and then they started after some time then
started to look for another mystery and then jewel remembered this so jewel told lauren
about this and then they started to talk to me about it and asked me if I was willing to participate and to let them investigate
this and I said sure because it's still a mystery for me I don't think about it so much nowadays but
it isn't solved and I would love it to be solved before I die yeah and I think they are doing good
can I just remark
how upset you were
about the idea
that maybe I was resting my feet
on this suitcase earlier
but sleeping on it?
It's the audacity
of putting your feet up
Yeah.
on the evidence.
There was no purpose
other than you saying
fuck this.
Fuck your investigation.
And there are so many
other potential footstoles
in this room.
And he did it
after we told you off.
He did it again.
He did it twice.
So should we open it up then and see what's in there?
No, we've got to wait for Jamie Linton to teach us how to do it in 20 minutes.
Oh.
Why has Mike Beery got his arms in the air?
We got lost getting here.
So, it says to me that somebody knows the house.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
That there's no way you would find this by chance.
No.
But by the very nature of the geography,
I can narrow it right down.
It's basically somebody within a very short area of this.
Yeah.
Because it's so isolated.
So they know you.
Now, is that threatening at all?
Now, is that threatening at all?
There hasn't been any other threats around.
I haven't had cars coming up at night. I haven't had mystery telephone calls or letters.
I never felt threatened up here.
I never felt afraid living here, frightened living here never never felt that
because then i couldn't live here and love true crime so much it's chintzy yeah that is
that was the door closing what was that that was the front door closed behind us
oh why did we all get scared by that i just got genuinely frightened
that made me actually gave me goosebumps there was a weird shiver i was not so don't worry i That was the front door closed behind us. Jesus. Why did we all get scared by that? I just got genuinely frightened.
That made me, actually gave me goosebumps.
There was a weird shiver down his spine. I was not, so don't worry, I'll be your saviour.
Okay, that's a bit creepy now.
You're saying, as far as you know,
there is nobody that has some ill will towards you
that you know of?
No, not that I know of.
Because I'm just wondering whether the child's close to 12 years old,
whether that's somebody's making the point this would have been his age
at such and such time if you'd done this.
Making some point.
But if you don't have any record of anybody making threats,
that's going to be a bit difficult to prove.
Yeah, yeah.
Hi.
Hey. Hi. this is forensic scientist joe millington she has called in to talk us through how to extract
dna and fingerprints of the evidence we are ready right okay so where are you what is this the crime
scene yeah okay right, look at that.
How professional is that?
We've got the suitcase here and the suit here.
And unfortunately, we have to be a bit honest with you about the suitcase.
It has possibly been compromised a little bit.
Have you just bought it off eBay?
Is that what you're saying?
No, no, no.
It's the real deal.
It's the real deal, but the exhibits officer has let us down slightly.
And then I happened to use it as a footstool earlier.
She used it twice as a footstool by accident,
and then we had to shout at her. So we sort of want to clear the outside
and assume that there's nothing on there of any interest which given the
fact that it's been in somebody's cupboard or attic or whatever for the last 12 years and you've
also stood on it probably means that the outside is not of interest right okay so i mean let's be real joe let's be real if we're gonna if we're gonna get anything at all from this
it'd be an absolute miracle so who did it then well i've started to suspect a person that wasn't
on my radar at that time but the person i knew and that's a man who was married to Lars sister
they divorced approximately at the same time as us and he did pranks but he had never done a prank
with me before but I knew he and Lars grew up in the same little village and what's his name
and Lars grew up in the same little village.
What's his name?
Kjell.
K-J-E-L-L.
Kjell.
And I think it was Lars who said that at some time.
Couldn't it be Kjell?
I haven't been with him since they divorced but I have met him at work
in my previous work
occupational health and safety
I was at his workplace sometimes
in my job
and we always chatted
and we joked a lot when we saw each other and so on
and that's what I've been thinking about now.
His office was at a place where they also sold secondhand items.
He didn't sell the items, but his office was really close by.
So he really could have found this suitcase and all the other items very close to him.
I just don't know why he would do it.
It's a nice suitcase.
Nothing to report under the flat.
Oh, there's blood in it.
No way, Jose.
Honestly, there's like something that looks like blood drops.
Okay, so it's probably rust. If we were in a laboratory
we would test that chemically
to see whether it is or it isn't blood.
I ground like two, like
three splodges, like quite small.
And then take a sample.
This is the blood of the original owner,
William Johnson from 1930s.
The suitcase has a label
on it that reads
WM Johnson. Johnson.
You can find a photo of this evidence on our Instagram page,
WhoShatOnTheFloorAtMyWedding.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Yeah.
If it was, in order to confirm that,
we would need a reference DNA sample from him,
and I'm assuming he's dead.
Yeah.
So we might have to apply for a...
Exhume him.
Exhume his remains, yeah.
Oh, God.
You could help us with that, though, couldn't you?
Yeah, we can.
There's a lot of paperwork, but I'm certain it could be done.
Brilliant.
Can you imagine saying we're doing this spoof podcast?
It's a very important issue we would like resolving.
Exhume the remains.
Right.
We're bickering. We've been bickering all morning
have you?
it's quite stressful being at a crime scene
I'm just cross because she dropped the fingerprinting
kit on the floor and I was not
happy about that and I think deep down
there's something about my childhood that I wish
I was picked as the exhibits officer
there's something going on here you're like you're ruining the marriage it's gonna be over after this
it's because of yoke okay so blood sample then Helen's just noticed there is a hair inside as
well okay so you probably want to give it an exhibit reference so that probably be the exhibits officers initials yeah h h whatever
is this your first exhibit yeah i feel so proud this is a monumental
and then h slash one that's your exhibit and then just put hair from suitcase yeah what i really like is it actually matches uh
it looks like a male uh an older male hair already and i'm quite excited so that's our
top suspect so i'm very excited about this it's going to be a match yeah um obviously we'll test
that objectively but if we've told him that cognitive bias it's gonna it's gonna
match we put it in our evidence bag as well do it do it oh guys well done helen's got one
wait wait wait i feel like the like goody two-shoes student and i'm dobbing in my like classmate
yeah yeah okay we'll do the fingerprints on these bad boys.
Okay.
Have you ever taught someone how to do this in 20 minutes before?
No, not usually.
I mean, competency and re-competency takes years, actually,
but you seem to have nailed it.
She's a bit worrying the good news is that we've extracted a piece of DNA from the evidence a short grey hair
from inside the suitcase the bad news is that all of our suspects have short grey hair. With Jo Millington's assistance and mates' rates,
we're going to submit the hair to the lab for forensic testing.
Who will the hair belong to?
Who will the hair belong to?
How have we ended up like this?
I'm like sweating profusely.
Reporting for duty?
Yeah.
T-minus 15 minutes until the undercover party begins.
In my head, I thought we'd look more like barista-style cops that would make this behind us.
We don't. We look fucking stupid. We look ridiculous.
Mine's obvious. Great.
Mine's a blatant microphone.
How have we ended up like this?
I don't know. Don't question it. Just go with it.
Quite tight. I don't know, don't question it, just go with it. Quick thing. Okay, right, so get your recorder, plug it in,
and you put it in there and then you screw it down
so it doesn't accidentally come out until it should start.
So you're recording now.
Amazing.
I can't get mine working.
Just breathe.
I would say that I'm successfully mic'd up.
Karen is scrambling a bit.
Yeah, I'm recording now as well.
I'm like sweating profusely.
There we go.
Yeah, perfect.
You can see my wire though.
Where?
I need to gaffer tape it.
Oh shit.
There are three places where they could spot the microphone.
There's the cord that comes over the Windsor knot.
There's the actual microphone piece below the tie.
And then there's the cord that goes into the pocket.
You're dressed up with your tie today for the event.
I am, I'm dressed properly, madam.
Yeah, that's really great.
Reporting for duty.
Yeah.
We're gonna drive down to the slaughterhouse.
Let's go.
Let's go, yeah, thanks.
All right, yeah, let's go.
See you soon.
It's just like, so intense. It like so intense.
It's so intense.
And it's intense because it's so fucking hot.
Is that someone that's here?
I bet you they're all there.
Everyone's on time.
Are you going to park behind?
Yeah, behind.
Go down this road.
Keep going.
No, here.
Right here.
Right here? Yeah.
I'm just going to sort Mike's tie out a little bit more because I'm not completely happy with this.
What's up, dear?
I'm not completely happy with you yet.
Story of my life.
That's a bit better.
Gosh, it's like getting a schoolboy ready for the first day at school. I don't want to go to school.
The boy and the teacher hates me, man.
Mum and the teacher hates me.
I think that's good.
Right.
Helen.
For what we're about to receive,
may we truly be grateful.
This is the slaughterhouse.
Let's rock and roll.
Coming up next. It's our moment. We don't have much time to solve this crime. It's now and roll. Coming up next...
It's our moment. We don't have much time to solve this crime.
It's now or never.
What if somebody tries to leave and you haven't spoken to them yet?
Are we able to restrain them in any way?
I'm feeling like a few people aren't being very honest with me today.
That's my niece.
That's your niece?
Yes.
My gut feeling is that I can trust you.
Why is that lady in in blue looking at me?
I don't think there's any serious behaviour going on here and I'm about to get really angry.
So I used to shoot sheep and pigs.
We had the old gun that goes in the brain.
If you're guilty, you circle yes.
If you're innocent, you circle no.
Okay, that's it. Then I've got one final trick.
And you're not going to like this and I'm sorry I had to come to this.
You know who you are.