Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S2 E5 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Daddy Issues’

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

It’s T minus seven hours until the undercover operation commences. In this episode, the 'detectives' and Professor Mike Berry nervously make their final preparations for the big event. Under the car...eful supervision of forensic scientist Jo Millington, the team run forensics on the evidence and extract their first bit of DNA evidence - one which could be integral to the case. Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Previously on Who Shat on the Floor at My Wedding proudly presents the case of the tiny suitcase. Why should we care about this tiny suitcase? I was a little worried and wondered what it was. After some time I took it inside and I opened it. And in it I found a pillow, a towel, a toilet bag with a toothbrush and toothpaste, a cap, underpants, male underpants, worn but washed, a Hawaii shirt worn but washed, swimming glasses, nylon stockings, one parcel not used, and a comic magazine. How much is DNA analysis?
Starting point is 00:00:47 Pretty expensive. This is what it feels like to be working on a real crime. You're outsourcing the forensic evidence collection to us. That's how it feels. Yeah, do you mind if I just have a look at your coat hangers? Yeah, that's okay. Can I go out there? Is that okay?
Starting point is 00:01:07 I've come in with a forensic mind looking at every possibility, which could be from her setting it up, or it could be quite sinister. Somebody could be doing it to punch her or stalk her or something like that. There's lots of possible motives for doing this. I'm walking down the corridor to try and find Detective Lauren Kilby. Today is the day of the big party. I want to see how she's feeling. Lauren? Hello?
Starting point is 00:01:49 How are you feeling? Yeah, a little bit. Extremely concerned about the heat. We've woken up this morning to a sweltering heat wave. I don't think Sweden has ever been this hot. If there was ever a day to avoid wearing a tight tie, it would be today. Like, really worried.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I just tried on my shirt, and even just the shirt alone without the waistcoat. After some heated wardrobe debates, Karen and I settled on dressing up like waitresses, front of house, as we felt that was the best way to conceal the tie. Helen is rebelling as expected and wearing her normal clothes with a casual tie. Our outfits are, for me, woolen black trousers. Black wool. Black wool. A shirt that really shows
Starting point is 00:02:33 up if I have one little drop of sweat, like it just goes see-through. My white shirt has got like kind of this additional lumpy layer over it, so it's like, it's not just one layer of white shirt. Double insulation. That's like long sleeve. And also, yeah, it's double insulation and it goes up to my, really high up my neck.
Starting point is 00:02:52 So one thing I don't like when I'm sweltering hot is that my neck is hot and my neck is going to have a double insulated collar plus a tie. Breakfast? Yeah, let's go.
Starting point is 00:03:11 We're at breakfast at the hotel. It's 7am and tensions are high. Everyone is feeling a little bit uneasy about the Midsummer Party, which starts in seven hours. To add to the uneasiness, Mike Berry starts telling us a horrific story about a gory murder he worked on, where a woman's breasts were cut off. All of this is happening in earshot of the table next to us, at which a lovely family with two small children are sat.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Straight after, Mike tells me he needs to speak with me in private. And I have a feeling that offending small children is about to be the least of my worries. Here we are I mean on a slightly serious point, concerned about your involvement in the real world you would have to declare this a conflict of interest and
Starting point is 00:04:17 remove yourself from the case altogether, your mother-in-law is the victim so there's emotionality and certainly when I read the initial suspects there was so much emotionality coming through all that, it was lack of objectivity. And I have a sneaking suspicion that you were more involved than you'd been letting on. Okay well I'm definitely not. She would say that, wouldn't she? Because I didn't know at the time of the crimes.
Starting point is 00:04:49 No, you didn't know Joel then. No. But you've known him since. Yeah. You've been over here. You've got to know Christine. Christine's got to know your mother, Linda. Now, are you just somebody who says,
Starting point is 00:05:01 oh, here's your opportunity to make a podcast on an interesting event? Yeah. And have you been milking it from that point of view? So getting much out of it so you can get a podcast? It is likely that I would do something like that, for sure. Just as it's likely that Helen and Karen faked the shit on the floor at their own wedding to make a podcast. Yeah. So it's not beyond us.
Starting point is 00:05:25 No. Definitely not. But I don't know if I'd do something like that. And a nice chance to come to Sweden at somebody else's expense. But I'm paying for my, it's my expense. Oh, wow. So I'm paying part of it. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:05:41 And it's been, yeah, it's not been cheap so I'm not sure I would, you know? Oh no, seriously though, I would say that there was some element of suspicious behaviour. Is that what you're getting from my personality, that I'm suspicious, or is it mainly like the situation? A bit of both. Do I appear suspicious? Really? I think I'm quite relaxed. Quite down to earth. Yeah, but there's another side to you. There's a serious side to you.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Well, yeah. Yeah. And that's what I'm plugging into. Forget all the jokes of laughter and everything else. There's a side of you which, to me, I can see you doing that kind of crime. But what should I do? Because I can't sit down, can I?
Starting point is 00:06:33 Well, it's a bit too late now. I did, in fairness, raise this with Karen and all of you in paper two, I think I sent you. Yes. That I had ethical doubts about you and everything else. So I'm not saying anything I haven't already basically said. No, no, no. No, I read that.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I was quite shocked when I read that. I chose to ignore that part of the report. Right. Because conflicts of interest are what we like in this podcast. That's the sweet spot for us. So then how would I be involved? You're taking the opportunity, having seen the incidents, you're taking the opportunity to then milk it together.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's what I'm... Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's 100%. Well, then Alex, you're culpable in the conflict of interest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're seeing the opportunity and you note the opportunity of Christine... Yeah, we agree on that.
Starting point is 00:07:29 We agree on that. Yeah, I'm never saying you did it, but I said that you're acting unethical by the association with both the victim and the victim's son. But yeah, no, I completely agree. It's unethical, but that's why it's good. This is The Case of the Tiny Suitcase, Episode 5.
Starting point is 00:07:50 T-minus five hours until the suspects arrive. We're on our way over to Christina's. And before we step foot in the slaughterhouse today, two things need to happen. Mike Berry needs to meet and cross-examine the victim, and the detective team needs to do forensics on the evidence. We have spent months strategically preparing for this undercover operation, and we would now like to share with you the answers to some key tactical questions that we've asked ourselves in preparation.
Starting point is 00:08:34 What is our official story for why Mike Berry is here? I just have one question about your role when you're undercover, Mike. So we've agreed that you'll be related to Karen. That makes the most sense. I'm sorry about that, Mike. So we've agreed that you'll be related to Karen. That makes the most sense. I'm sorry about that, Mike.
Starting point is 00:08:49 And I was just wondering if you've had any further thoughts about what your relationship will be. Will it be uncle or father? I spoke to my dad today, my real dad. Yeah. So I would like to ask your permission, do you mind temporarily handing over the responsibility of being my father to Professor Mike Berry? Well, we could make it permanent if you like. Oh, I like that idea. I can do the slightly weird cousin bit rather than anything closer because then I can't lie.
Starting point is 00:09:25 I can generally say, oh, well, you know what families are like. They have a bust up and I don't know what the bust up was. And that makes sense. If I can't answer a question, it's a family feud. But if I'm playing close to you, then I would know all these things. I think Karen's just looking for a bit of a father figure for the trip generally, I think. That's why she keeps pushing this of a father figure for the trip, generally, I think.
Starting point is 00:09:49 That's why she keeps pushing this kind of father-daughter requirement. So that's just a warning for you, Mike. I think daddy issues is the least of my psychological issues. I did have a think, whether you're cousin, fun uncle or dad, not to push it again, but I thought maybe you need to refer to me as a sort of pally nickname. So we sort of feel, you know, believable. I was discussing it with my dad today what he used to call me and um the nickname he had for me when i was a kid was rinky dink what i think rinky dink if you look it up on the internet is a is an instrumental uh version of something which got into the hip parade when you were a kid which you used to dance to it goes how long have you been subject to this abuse family abuse this is turning into a psychological
Starting point is 00:10:34 assessment of i knew this would happen with rinky dink it's not right no i don't feel comfortable with it i don't either because i just looked it up online and I didn't realise this, but the dictionary definition of rinky dink is amateurish or shoddy, which is quite fitting, really, given the context of this podcast. I think crazy uncle would be easier, Roel. Yeah, that's a good one. If I was your father, then I would have to know a lot more about you. If I'm the crazy uncle that you've never talked about you know because well you know dodgy background we're not sure about him and everything else then I can play that role quite easily. You could play the role of having a dodgy background easily. If we get a confession and arrest someone today,
Starting point is 00:11:25 what is the crime we are prosecuting? This is obviously two cases of reverse theft, and we want to know if reverse theft is a crime. OK. I think it sort of depends what's been left. This is the voice of criminal lawyer Sam Holden, who you may remember from season one of our podcast or the 2012 season of The Voice of Holland. Sam would say he finished in the top 12, whereas I would say that he finished at number 12. I think that will establish whether a crime
Starting point is 00:12:00 has been committed or not, as something you know bad has been left behind imagine you lived a little bit more remote in New Zealand in the middle of nowhere 20 minutes from the nearest town I drove my car and I broke through into your premises and trespassed and left a pair of my used underwear in a suitcase in your house as a present? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Would you sort of pursue me legally? Yeah, on those facts, yes, I probably would pursue you legally.
Starting point is 00:12:37 But is it a crime? I mean, I guess if the panties in that scenario were explosive, you know, there was some sort of potentially lethal explosive device in there, that would definitely be a crime that you'd want to pursue legally. But I don't think you have that here, right? Okay, let me just give you my legal perspective. Yeah, that's what I'm keen to hear. Because, I mean, I'm not a lawyer you are but my understanding is that intimidation is a crime is that correct was there something threatening you
Starting point is 00:13:13 think about the little corduroy suit yes potentially Mike Berry clinical forensic psychologist we asked him what the most sinister item was and in his, it's the tiny suit because it could be a message or it could be, for example, his theory was that Christina had had an abortion and the father of the child wanted to take revenge on her because he didn't want her to have the abortion. So he sent her a message, which was a tiny suit, which, you know, if she hadn't had the abortion, the child would have been able to wear on that day. Wow. And did that happen? Was there an actual potential abortion happening here?
Starting point is 00:14:02 Christina said that she has not had an abortion. That's potentially not the crime at hand. Well, let's not rule that out. No. Definitely Mike knows his stuff. And so if he thinks that there was something intimidating in that tiny little suit, then, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:21 then maybe you do have a crime here because intimidation definitely is a crime. If someone was threatening Christina's life by that tiny little suit, that is just classic reverse theft, the crime. Although Mike Berry doesn't think that's the correct term. You know how often crimes are committed by, you know, nearest and dearest? Yeah. What is the percentage of that versus like a random hit?
Starting point is 00:14:55 It depends what crime you're talking about. Reverse theft. Sorry? Reverse theft. That's what this crime is. Reverse theft. That's what this crime is. Reverse theft? Yes. I'm not quite sure what you understand by that term.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Instead of taking something from someone's home, you're planting something there. So it's reverse theft. Yeah, okay. Would you not call it that? I personally wouldn't know. But no, fair enough. Yeah, I can see where you're coming from.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I can see the logic of where you're coming from. And it's got a nice sexy title, thinking about it. Yes, thank you. Yeah. It will make people think what exactly did you just um infer that detective lauren kilby makes the crime sexy um and since you've ruined my career it doesn't make any difference what i say i'll do anymore now so i'll go along with it writing an 8 000 word chapter on psychology of murder
Starting point is 00:16:06 for a book sometime later this year. But most crimes are going to be committed by men, by definition. Men commit more crimes. Men commit a lot more violent crime. Things like burglary tends to be a very male crime. So reverse theft would also tend to be more males. Maybe you can add that to your book that you're publishing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:33 We've arrived at the scene of the crime and it's time to introduce Mike Berry to the victim. We are very excited about this meeting because of something that Christina said a few months ago when we were talking about inviting Mike Berry. I really want him to come. I'm really excited about that. Is he married? No, actually, I think he's single. No, I thought the same thing. I was like, I think he might be single. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Oh my God, imagine. Imagine if you fell in love with Mike Berry. That would be so good. That's that kind of weekend, you know, midsummer. Does he have a tweed? Does he wear tweed? I've got photos of him. Shall I send them?
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah, send the photos. I built a picture now that he wears tweed and he smokes a pipe. This is tweed I'm looking at. Oh, yeah. This is him. Can you see on Helen's camera? Yeah, that's really nice. It's not tweed, but it's okay. Professor.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Hello, you're Christina. Yes, I'm Christina. Hi. Hi, welcome're Christina. Mike Berry. Yes, I'm Christina. Hi. Hi. Welcome to ***. Thank you. Black Lake.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Black. We call it Black Lake. Black Lake, okay. On the podcast. We've renamed it. So you've changed the name. Yeah, we've rebranded your town. Protect your identity.
Starting point is 00:17:55 It's isolated. Welcome back. Hello. This is so... Isolated. This is so... It's not isolated. I mean, you can't find it, and you've been here before. Only once, though. Yeah, but that means there's not going to be a complete stranger
Starting point is 00:18:13 who's going to find this place. Nice to see you. It's quite rocky here, watch your step. This is Ewell, my husband slash boyfriend. And this... Can you make up your mind which of these. Christina's son. Perhaps there's a marriage coming.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah. We might propose. Oh, you're not married. Oh, I saw. No, no, no. Ah, so it's partner then. Partner. Boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Boy toy. We're here to get married after what happened on their wedding, of course. Yeah, you've got to be careful. You can never be too careful with a proposal. Because we could never get married because I'd be inviting some of the same people that they invited to their wedding who potentially shat on the floor. Yeah. This is the veranda where the items were deposited. Yeah yeah. We are currently sat outside the victim Christina's house in her garden shed.
Starting point is 00:19:08 We're all gathered around quite closely together around a lace covered table. We've got Professor Mike Berry to my left. I'm looking opposite to Detective Lauren Kilby and Christina is right on her left. All the great minds together in one room. It looks like we might be about to conduct a seance. Yeah, so midsummer, exciting times. Really exciting time. Are you going to dance around a penis pole today?
Starting point is 00:19:40 I'm not sure because we haven't had the time to make one. Okay. But who knows what's happening later in the evening when my parents don't get to sleep? Oh yeah not in front of the parents. Yeah. Is this the first time you've ever been interrogated on Midsommar? Yeah. Yeah it is. Okay. What was the size of all of the items? Were they all normal sized other than the towel? Was there anything else that was no no normal no not from a very big person normal person yeah pillow was normal size yeah wasn't tiny no no it
Starting point is 00:20:16 was it it was normal size for fuck's sake i asked i asked to see yesterday I asked to see Mikael's pillows to check if they were tiny pillows. So that was unnecessary. Didn't need to check the size of his pillows. It's probably unnecessary you checking all of his hangers as well. Yeah. You did? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Did you check his underwear? I took some photos of the undies area because it was kind of exposed. This is how a real detective works, Mike. In the field. Yeah, but did you measure inside the leg? No, because I only had seconds up there in the little, I climbed up to that little bed area,
Starting point is 00:20:58 and he let me, like, crawl over. So you broke the law by not having a warrant to go in, searching a house without permission. I asked him if it was okay to do it without a warrant, and he said yes, more or less. The intimidation of your voice might have made him... No, no, no, a soft, loving voice. And then we are going to leave you alone with Professor Mike Berry,
Starting point is 00:21:22 and we can't control what he will then say or do and I will wish you luck for that because he takes no prisoners. We walked away because we want to give Mike Berry and Christina some alone time. Time is of the essence today because the Midsummer Party starts in a few hours so while Christina's being cross-examined, we're going to do a forensic review of the evidence and see if there's any DNA present. Yep, you can come in now. Okay, Karen.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Enter with the object. It's tiny, tiny, tiny. It's so much smaller than I thought. Well, I guess we always knew it was tiny, right? There's potential DNA here. It looks like dandruff. It is a tiny suit. She's going to lie it down. She's lying it down on the brown paper. There's lots of hair on this.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Should you be walking all over the paper? I really don't think Jo Millington would be approving of this. Yeah, what's that about? Because you should have those shoe covers on. I can even see the sweat patches you've left on the paper. Put your shoe covers on. Put your socks.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I don't know what's happening here, but I'm not sure I'm liking this vibe. Do this. Do you want to get changed? Do you want to put that on? Anything else I can do for you? We're in trouble. We're sitting in front of some objects that are placed on some brown paper
Starting point is 00:22:42 just in case anything falls off them and we need to collect some evidence and this is ready for the dna and fingerprint assessment of the tiny suit and the suitcase and the goggles so there's a cat entering the forensic examination area that's the cat i nearly killed hold my mic i've got to get rid of the cat this could be all right there you go job done it's coming back. The cat is entering forensic space. Just close the door. That's the way to deal with it.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I can say them in the shed from here. Look at Christina's face. She looks worried. I'm going to be very direct now. Have you set this up? No. Why not? It gives you a chance to have fun at other people's expense? I could do that at other people. It would be a very good plan if you were narcissistic
Starting point is 00:23:32 to have all this attention drawn to you in a subtle way where they keep referring to you as the victim as if you've been offended or criminalised or something. So is that part of your process of getting no getting um attention that way no a good way yeah it's a really good way yeah okay but i i haven't until late in my life now wanted so much attention there's a community set it up It's just some plan for this little hamlet to get attention, you know, worldwide
Starting point is 00:24:09 attention on the internet. Have you colluded with others to do this? No. No? No. Your son... Joel.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Where does he live? Nowadays he lives in Amsterdam. Is this a secret plan to get him back home to see you? You get... Not Helen. What's your... Laura. Laura, you know, involved in this so you get your beloved son home
Starting point is 00:24:49 no spend time with you no i think i understand your your thoughts there and i really love to have him here but i have decided not to get any kind of pressure on them because I want them to be free spirits. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that when you make people feel things that make them uncomfortable. So yeah, that could have been a plan, but I wouldn't think that that would have made him come home. So you didn't do it?
Starting point is 00:25:20 No. You've not set it up with your neighbors? No. Not a family joke on on the family and you're innocent yeah of what of this prank of pranking myself right okay apparently helen's got more muscles than me so she um that's what helen what karen just massaged us both and um told helen that she had a more muscular back than i did she said i was a bit like a bison and then i got anxious because i was like we're actually being overlooked by the neighbors and they know we're doing this podcast
Starting point is 00:25:53 and they're just probably seeing me massaging two people like monkeys in the garden at once actually at once yeah i left hand on helen right it was a bit of a threesome actually oh no let's move on as far as we'll go okay sorry why are you doing the podcast they asked me to uh and i it was really like this that they have done their first podcast that you were you know engaged in and it was really successful and they enjoy it and then they started after some time then started to look for another mystery and then jewel remembered this so jewel told lauren about this and then they started to talk to me about it and asked me if I was willing to participate and to let them investigate this and I said sure because it's still a mystery for me I don't think about it so much nowadays but it isn't solved and I would love it to be solved before I die yeah and I think they are doing good
Starting point is 00:27:04 can I just remark how upset you were about the idea that maybe I was resting my feet on this suitcase earlier but sleeping on it? It's the audacity of putting your feet up
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah. on the evidence. There was no purpose other than you saying fuck this. Fuck your investigation. And there are so many other potential footstoles
Starting point is 00:27:19 in this room. And he did it after we told you off. He did it again. He did it twice. So should we open it up then and see what's in there? No, we've got to wait for Jamie Linton to teach us how to do it in 20 minutes. Oh.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Why has Mike Beery got his arms in the air? We got lost getting here. So, it says to me that somebody knows the house. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That there's no way you would find this by chance. No. But by the very nature of the geography,
Starting point is 00:27:45 I can narrow it right down. It's basically somebody within a very short area of this. Yeah. Because it's so isolated. So they know you. Now, is that threatening at all? Now, is that threatening at all? There hasn't been any other threats around.
Starting point is 00:28:12 I haven't had cars coming up at night. I haven't had mystery telephone calls or letters. I never felt threatened up here. I never felt afraid living here, frightened living here never never felt that because then i couldn't live here and love true crime so much it's chintzy yeah that is that was the door closing what was that that was the front door closed behind us oh why did we all get scared by that i just got genuinely frightened that made me actually gave me goosebumps there was a weird shiver i was not so don't worry i That was the front door closed behind us. Jesus. Why did we all get scared by that? I just got genuinely frightened. That made me, actually gave me goosebumps.
Starting point is 00:28:48 There was a weird shiver down his spine. I was not, so don't worry, I'll be your saviour. Okay, that's a bit creepy now. You're saying, as far as you know, there is nobody that has some ill will towards you that you know of? No, not that I know of. Because I'm just wondering whether the child's close to 12 years old, whether that's somebody's making the point this would have been his age
Starting point is 00:29:10 at such and such time if you'd done this. Making some point. But if you don't have any record of anybody making threats, that's going to be a bit difficult to prove. Yeah, yeah. Hi. Hey. Hi. this is forensic scientist joe millington she has called in to talk us through how to extract dna and fingerprints of the evidence we are ready right okay so where are you what is this the crime
Starting point is 00:29:41 scene yeah okay right, look at that. How professional is that? We've got the suitcase here and the suit here. And unfortunately, we have to be a bit honest with you about the suitcase. It has possibly been compromised a little bit. Have you just bought it off eBay? Is that what you're saying? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:30:04 It's the real deal. It's the real deal, but the exhibits officer has let us down slightly. And then I happened to use it as a footstool earlier. She used it twice as a footstool by accident, and then we had to shout at her. So we sort of want to clear the outside and assume that there's nothing on there of any interest which given the fact that it's been in somebody's cupboard or attic or whatever for the last 12 years and you've also stood on it probably means that the outside is not of interest right okay so i mean let's be real joe let's be real if we're gonna if we're gonna get anything at all from this
Starting point is 00:30:50 it'd be an absolute miracle so who did it then well i've started to suspect a person that wasn't on my radar at that time but the person i knew and that's a man who was married to Lars sister they divorced approximately at the same time as us and he did pranks but he had never done a prank with me before but I knew he and Lars grew up in the same little village and what's his name and Lars grew up in the same little village. What's his name? Kjell. K-J-E-L-L.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Kjell. And I think it was Lars who said that at some time. Couldn't it be Kjell? I haven't been with him since they divorced but I have met him at work in my previous work occupational health and safety I was at his workplace sometimes in my job
Starting point is 00:31:57 and we always chatted and we joked a lot when we saw each other and so on and that's what I've been thinking about now. His office was at a place where they also sold secondhand items. He didn't sell the items, but his office was really close by. So he really could have found this suitcase and all the other items very close to him. I just don't know why he would do it. It's a nice suitcase.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Nothing to report under the flat. Oh, there's blood in it. No way, Jose. Honestly, there's like something that looks like blood drops. Okay, so it's probably rust. If we were in a laboratory we would test that chemically to see whether it is or it isn't blood. I ground like two, like
Starting point is 00:32:52 three splodges, like quite small. And then take a sample. This is the blood of the original owner, William Johnson from 1930s. The suitcase has a label on it that reads WM Johnson. Johnson. You can find a photo of this evidence on our Instagram page,
Starting point is 00:33:08 WhoShatOnTheFloorAtMyWedding. Wouldn't that be amazing? Yeah. If it was, in order to confirm that, we would need a reference DNA sample from him, and I'm assuming he's dead. Yeah. So we might have to apply for a...
Starting point is 00:33:22 Exhume him. Exhume his remains, yeah. Oh, God. You could help us with that, though, couldn't you? Yeah, we can. There's a lot of paperwork, but I'm certain it could be done. Brilliant. Can you imagine saying we're doing this spoof podcast?
Starting point is 00:33:38 It's a very important issue we would like resolving. Exhume the remains. Right. We're bickering. We've been bickering all morning have you? it's quite stressful being at a crime scene I'm just cross because she dropped the fingerprinting kit on the floor and I was not
Starting point is 00:33:57 happy about that and I think deep down there's something about my childhood that I wish I was picked as the exhibits officer there's something going on here you're like you're ruining the marriage it's gonna be over after this it's because of yoke okay so blood sample then Helen's just noticed there is a hair inside as well okay so you probably want to give it an exhibit reference so that probably be the exhibits officers initials yeah h h whatever is this your first exhibit yeah i feel so proud this is a monumental and then h slash one that's your exhibit and then just put hair from suitcase yeah what i really like is it actually matches uh
Starting point is 00:34:49 it looks like a male uh an older male hair already and i'm quite excited so that's our top suspect so i'm very excited about this it's going to be a match yeah um obviously we'll test that objectively but if we've told him that cognitive bias it's gonna it's gonna match we put it in our evidence bag as well do it do it oh guys well done helen's got one wait wait wait i feel like the like goody two-shoes student and i'm dobbing in my like classmate yeah yeah okay we'll do the fingerprints on these bad boys. Okay. Have you ever taught someone how to do this in 20 minutes before?
Starting point is 00:35:34 No, not usually. I mean, competency and re-competency takes years, actually, but you seem to have nailed it. She's a bit worrying the good news is that we've extracted a piece of DNA from the evidence a short grey hair from inside the suitcase the bad news is that all of our suspects have short grey hair. With Jo Millington's assistance and mates' rates, we're going to submit the hair to the lab for forensic testing. Who will the hair belong to? Who will the hair belong to?
Starting point is 00:36:21 How have we ended up like this? I'm like sweating profusely. Reporting for duty? Yeah. T-minus 15 minutes until the undercover party begins. In my head, I thought we'd look more like barista-style cops that would make this behind us. We don't. We look fucking stupid. We look ridiculous. Mine's obvious. Great.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Mine's a blatant microphone. How have we ended up like this? I don't know. Don't question it. Just go with it. Quite tight. I don't know, don't question it, just go with it. Quick thing. Okay, right, so get your recorder, plug it in, and you put it in there and then you screw it down so it doesn't accidentally come out until it should start. So you're recording now. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:17 I can't get mine working. Just breathe. I would say that I'm successfully mic'd up. Karen is scrambling a bit. Yeah, I'm recording now as well. I'm like sweating profusely. There we go. Yeah, perfect.
Starting point is 00:37:30 You can see my wire though. Where? I need to gaffer tape it. Oh shit. There are three places where they could spot the microphone. There's the cord that comes over the Windsor knot. There's the actual microphone piece below the tie. And then there's the cord that goes into the pocket.
Starting point is 00:37:46 You're dressed up with your tie today for the event. I am, I'm dressed properly, madam. Yeah, that's really great. Reporting for duty. Yeah. We're gonna drive down to the slaughterhouse. Let's go. Let's go, yeah, thanks.
Starting point is 00:37:57 All right, yeah, let's go. See you soon. It's just like, so intense. It like so intense. It's so intense. And it's intense because it's so fucking hot. Is that someone that's here? I bet you they're all there. Everyone's on time.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Are you going to park behind? Yeah, behind. Go down this road. Keep going. No, here. Right here. Right here? Yeah. I'm just going to sort Mike's tie out a little bit more because I'm not completely happy with this.
Starting point is 00:38:29 What's up, dear? I'm not completely happy with you yet. Story of my life. That's a bit better. Gosh, it's like getting a schoolboy ready for the first day at school. I don't want to go to school. The boy and the teacher hates me, man. Mum and the teacher hates me. I think that's good.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Right. Helen. For what we're about to receive, may we truly be grateful. This is the slaughterhouse. Let's rock and roll. Coming up next. It's our moment. We don't have much time to solve this crime. It's now and roll. Coming up next... It's our moment. We don't have much time to solve this crime.
Starting point is 00:39:09 It's now or never. What if somebody tries to leave and you haven't spoken to them yet? Are we able to restrain them in any way? I'm feeling like a few people aren't being very honest with me today. That's my niece. That's your niece? Yes. My gut feeling is that I can trust you.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Why is that lady in in blue looking at me? I don't think there's any serious behaviour going on here and I'm about to get really angry. So I used to shoot sheep and pigs. We had the old gun that goes in the brain. If you're guilty, you circle yes. If you're innocent, you circle no. Okay, that's it. Then I've got one final trick. And you're not going to like this and I'm sorry I had to come to this.
Starting point is 00:39:46 You know who you are.

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