Who Trolled Amber? - Lucky Boys | Lucky Boy Ep4

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Sally Anne Bowen doesn’t want to speak about her relationship with Gareth, but it turns out there is a way of hearing her version of events. And after months of searching, Chloe gets a message from another ‘lucky boy’. You can find out more about Tortoise:Download the Tortoise app - for a listening experience curated by our journalistsSubscribe to Tortoise+ on Apple Podcasts for early access and ad-free contentBecome a member and get access to all of Tortoise's premium audio offerings and moreIf you want to get in touch with us directly about a story, or tell us more about the stories you want to hear about contact [e-mail] and produced by: Chloe Hadjimatheou and Gary MarshallSound design: Hannah VarrallPodcast artwork: Lola WilliamsExecutive producer: Basia Cummings Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just a warning before we start. This episode includes descriptions of sexual abuse and strong language. Last time on Lucky Boy. One. At no point did any pupil, parent, colleague or senior manager ever confide in me. At the time or thereafter. As a closing of ranks, then and now. I would have made an intervention and reported it. A 14 years old having sex with a 27 year old teacher, that's going to have a certain effect on him.

But I think what it's done is fossilized him emotionally. So I would have been about 20, yeah, I'd have been about 20, I'd say. And what happened was, I was on the Tube, I was minding my own business on the Tube, going from Golders Green to Hindon. At first, Gareth doesn't really notice when this pretty ordinary looking man gets on a Golders Green Tube station. And he decided to come and sit next to me on the Tube, opposite me.

He seems to be staring at him. So Gareth looks up and eventually he places the guy. He was a couple of years above him at Christ College School. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously we like acknowledged each other, but he's sitting opposite me. They exchange a few bland pleasantries and then he says, this man smiles and he leans over. And he says something like, now I remember you. You were the one fucking that chemistry teacher, Miss Bowen. And then he delivers a line that's stuck in Gareth's head.

You're not the only one. I remember those words, you're not the only one. And he got off the, he got off the tube. Gareth sat on that Northern line train, glued to his seat in shock. Just tell me when he said that to you, you weren't, you're not the only one. Where was the hurt coming from? Was it that she'd betrayed you? Was it that you weren't the special one? Right, there you go. Yeah, of course that would have been betrayal. What, after me, what was it before me? Was I like the little after four?

Lots of victims of child sexual abuse are under the illusion that they instigated or chose the relationship. Or in Gareth's case, that because he physically enjoyed it, it wasn't abusive. And often, years later, there's a realisation that there was a power imbalance and that's the moment when the fact that they were used begins to dawn on them. For Gareth it's an agonising new reality because ever since that chance encounter on the tube train he's wondered are there other boys like him? Other lucky boys who've spent a lifetime figuring out just how unlucky they really were. For me it gets to the heart of why this story matters.

We know from Gareth that he's a casualty of abuse and of a school that refused to treat him as a victim of anything other than his own mischief. But if the school's actions enabled Miss Bowen to continue abusing. Well, that's a bigger story altogether If there are others How many are we talking? Can they be tracked down and if I find them might they be willing to finally give Gareth the corroboration he's been searching for I'm Chloe Hajimathau and from Tortoise this is Lucky Boy. Episode 4 The Lucky Boys

You know you've got to remember when I first gave my interview to the police I actually thought I fucking thought she was gonna come out and tell the truth. I imagine that, I imagine that crazy shit. Thinking back at all the different stages and like, I mean I shouldn't be like that yet. In 2020, when Gareth gets that call telling him the authorities won't be pressing charges against Miss Bowen, he's gutted. I actually offered the police, go to her and tell her no criminal charges but she has to talk to me. Offered it and they said ah we wouldn't do that. Even if I wanted that they

will not agree to that and I'd take that in a hat. I'd take that like that. It's like why the fuck do I want to sit down and talk to her? What do I want to talk to her about? But you do? Oh yeah, desperately, desperately. When I think about it now I want to punch a wall, like I'm angry that I don't get to talk to her. What would you say to her? Do you know? I don't know. Would it be an angry? What's confusing is I might want to hug her. I might want to kiss her. I might want to fuck her. I might want to punch her in her face. I might just want to cry. How about that? How fucked up's that?

The thing with Gareth is his mental health issues mean he can't hold down a job. So he has loads of time on his hands to think about his next steps. And as far as he's concerned, the police dropping the case isn't the end of the story. The first photo I saw of Bowen, it was her with this young boy, like her in the background looking over this young boy's shoulder, who didn't look dissimilar to me, right, sort of her smiling. That photo Gareth's talking about was on a school website because after she left Christ's College back in 1988, Miss Bowen carried on teaching, without consequence, 14 more schools in total.

It's the lack of accountability that makes Gareth so angry. So in 2022 Gareth goes to the Teaching Regulation Agency, the TRA. It's the bit of the Ministry of Education that oversees the profession. They have real power to intervene if someone makes a serious allegation against the teacher, even if it's historic. I didn't realise the TIA proceedings were going to be so court-like. I made a complaint because that was all that was on the table at the time. But I remember when it turned up, I was like, oh fucking hell, this is big now. If this happens, this is big, this is serious.

They're taking this seriously. People are reading hoes, people are... So this hearing, as I say, is being recorded. It's important that you speak clearly for us as well as giving us... The TRA hearing is very court-like, although there are a couple of differences. For a start, although it has the look and feel of a criminal court, it follows the civil standard of proof rather than the criminal one. That means the allegations can be considered proven on the balance of probabilities.

That's a lower standard than beyond reasonable doubt. In Gareth's case, the whole thing took place online via video link and it went on for months. What you're listening to is a recreation based on a transcript of the hearing. The entire thing runs close to 200 pages. So we comb through it and these are the sections we think are the most revealing of how the case played out. I know that you understand for the purposes of this hearing that we will refer to you as pupil A. It's now November 2022 and Gareth, or pupil A as he's being publicly referred to in the hearing, is sitting at home in his living room looking at a handful of boxes on a screen.

Inside the boxes are barristers, panellists and... Miss Bowen, if you'd like to just put the microphone on and just say a few words for the tape so that we have that recorded. My name is Sally Anne Boan and I'm the accused teacher in this case. It's the first time he's seen her since she told him she was leaving for a kibbutz in Israel 34 years ago. Back then in 1988 they were teacher and pupil, now they're both adults, he a man of 50 and she in her 60s, just a few years short of retirement. All this took place months before Gareth came to see me with his story, but everything you've heard him say over the last three episodes, his entire account of what went on between them was put to Miss Bowen by barristers who

cross-examined her over several days. I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that evidence I shall be... I always thought it was pretty unlikely that I'd get the chance to speak to Sally-Anne Bowen. I had hoped. I wrote her a letter and emails. But the TRA hearing means that even if she doesn't want to talk to me, we can hear from Ms Bowen herself. This isn't her real voice, but these are her real words. How does it feel for you to finally have your say in a hearing before a decision-maker about those allegations?

Yeah, it's a huge relief. I've had to live with these lies for eight and a half years. I've never yet had an opportunity to verbally defend myself, so I'm relieved. As she's being questioned by her own lawyer, Gareth's watching it all on his laptop screen at home. It's the same woman he remembers. Older now, but still the same long blonde hair and the same mannerisms. He's nervous as hell, but he's also dying to know what she's going to say. What was it like to sit through that evidence? It was horrible because he's not telling the truth. I felt embarrassed for him because he knew that I knew what he was saying wasn't true. I also felt hurt because I was only

ever friendly towards his student and I thought, why are you doing this? She comes across as well-spoken and articulate, and according to Gareth, she sounds much younger than she actually is. The victim in any kind of trial or hearing doesn't get a lawyer. The allegations are put to Ms Bowen by a presenting officer for the TRA, the lawyer whose job it is to act as a kind of prosecutor. Miss Bowen tells him that yes, she did teach at Christ's College School in the late 1980s and she remembers Gareth quite well. You describe him as being not a nice person, a pest. Yeah. That he hassled you in not a very nice way. He was quite aggressive. Yeah. She says she remembers that Gareth had a crush on her, but she says the feeling was not reciprocated. Of course not. No. No, absolutely not. I talked to him on the bus, so I didn't do that with

any other student because no other student wanted to sit on the bus and talk to me. But I didn't give, like I didn't treat him any differently from any other student. I was just friendly. I was friendly with all the students. Before long, the tribunal arrives at the questions everyone's been waiting for. Removed your trousers, pulled down his boxer shorts. That didn't happen, did it? No, that's rubbish. That's impossible. He didn't come into the house. He didn't come into my room. It's impossible. As I go through the transcript of the TRA, in the back of my head I have all

the evidence I've been gathering from so many witnesses and one student in particular who I managed to get on the phone just before writing this episode. This guy was in Gareth's year at school and he told me that back in 1988 he and a group of Christ College friends walked round to Miss Bowen's house after school one afternoon and when they knocked on the door and she answered, he says, Gareth walked down the stairs to greet them. What he tells me puts Gareth inside her house. But the panel judging Gareth's claims at the TRA hearing, they have none of this evidence.

And Ms Bowen denies all the significant memories Gareth's told me about. The incident in the cafe with the porno mag, taking him to the pub, and allowing him to come into her house. Did you ever have any form of sexual contact with him? Absolutely not. At this point in her evidence, Ms Bowen seems very sure of herself. Gareth has to sit in silence while she's talking, but he's seething. I can tell you for certain she's not telling the truth.

We've used AI to recreate Gareth's part of the transcript. What Ms Bowen says is that she had no physical contact with you whatsoever, including kissing, masturbation or sex. What do you say about that? So she's a liar. And she knows and I know that she's a liar. At this stage in the tribunal, I have to say, things don't look great for Gareth. He's bitter and emotional and when he's cross-examined he comes across as difficult. In contrast, Miss Bowen's stoic and composed. But then something happens. When she's being questioned by the TRA's lawyer that's acting

as a kind of prosecutor, she begins offering up new information, stuff that Gareth's never even mentioned in his allegations or in his testimony. Like the fact that she enjoyed a lot of the attention she got from pupils at the school. The school boys were attracted to you. Would that be fair to say? Yes. And you felt flattered at the time from that interest from the pupils? Yes. I used to get really nice compliments. Obviously I was going to feel flattered by that. You were flattered by 14 or 15 year old boys

expressing an interest in you? Well, they would say things like, you look nice today miss, or your hair looks nice. You know, I like your top or whatever. Yes, of course I'm going to be flattered by that. Any other comments on your physical appearance other than those? Some of them were sexual but I used to ignore them. I used to get wolf whistle cat calls as I walked across across the playground you know there's from the

chemistry building to the main block but I I just ignored comments like that but I said thank you if someone said you look nice today miss and of course I did Were you not flirting with pupil a no No, not at all. What what are you doing this evening? No, I don't think that's flirting. I was just answering his questions Talking about staff members as well whether you fancied those staff members Yeah, which which did I like any of the male teachers, that kind of thing. I don't consider that flirting, just answering his questions. And then the lawyer for the TRA turns to what seem to be inconsistencies in her testimony.

Can you try to explain to the panel how, when you describe him as always friendly and chatty, yet upon the other hand as being a pest and being hassling, how those two narratives align? Okay, so he was friendly, he was never unpleasant to me, and I was friendly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say, no, no, you can't sit on the bus next to me and go was friendly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say no, no you can't sit on the bus next to me and go and sit somewhere else. He was a pest and yes I did get the feeling that I was being hassled and followed around but it didn't bother me. Yes so he was friendly towards me, he wasn't unpleasant towards me. More inconsistencies are raised. She told the police she'd only ever spoken to Gareth on the bus once or twice but now in the

TRA she's admitting they would sit together regularly. She also seems to suddenly remember why witnesses would have seen them together at the pub and in edgewear and Sallyanne Bowen starts sounding flustered. So given that you've provided now a more accurate picture of pupil A as being someone who was always friendly, always pleasant towards you, very chatty, why didn't you provide that more later and better picture of pupil A as against casting aspersions that he was not a nice person a

Pest he hassled you. Why was that? Because my police interview I didn't have time to prepare my answers. I was first of all blindsided by this allegation Struggling in my memory to remember events from whatever it was memory to remember, events from whatever it was, 27 years ago, and I didn't have time and it was quick-fired questions. It wasn't a cozy chat sitting with the police. I had one police officer just staring at me and the other one firing questions quickly. I was answering to the best of my ability with no preparation whatsoever to answer these questions. If I'd had time then I would have perhaps been able to answer more fully but I didn't have time. Well it's not about presenting a story it's about being honest to the police.

I didn't remember. It's as simple as that. I didn't remember that at the time but I did remember when I started to think about this student, I did remember things about this student from that time. Gareth's sitting on his sofa at home taking this all in and the one thing he can't get over is that she's speaking to the lawyer in this way that he recognises. There's a sexuality to it as well and I found that watching her with the TRA, that I found that she was, you know, because she was under pressure, she was pulling out all her tricks of manipulation. You know, I found them very reminiscent of the interactions I had with her as a child. That's why when I came to that point and I addressed her directly

is because I recognised her. I recognised the faces she was pulling and the way she was being. Gareth and Miss Bowen are only ever meant to answer the questions put to them. But there's this moment when Gareth is so overwhelmed by all the emotions flooding through him that he forgets all the other people on the video call and he speaks to her directly. Suddenly it's just him and Sally-Anne again. You know the truth, we do know the truth Sally-Anne and you know you had sex with me on multiple occasions now you can you can try and put a new account.

You can dress it up how you want and you can split hairs over dates. You can split hairs over when certain things happen and when they didn't happen. And I was, despite thinking that I was an adult, I was a very young and naive 14-year-old. Staring right at him, Gareth says she doesn't flinch. It's impossible to tell what she's thinking,

but Gareth can't stop. Cleanse your soul, man. Don't take that shit with you. Because you take that shit with you, Sally Anne. It's going to be on your soul. Just own it. Own it. In December 2023, the panel retires to consider the evidence. The panel's made up of three people. There's a teacher and there are two other members of the public who've handled complex investigations before. When they're ready, they call all the participants for a final video call to announce their finding. Gareth's testimony is consistent and convincing convincing they say. And it's more likely than not that Sally Ann Bowen did meet Gareth outside of school, and that she allowed him to visit her at her home, and that she did engage in sexual activity

with him. The only allegation they're not convinced of is that she bought him alcohol in a pub. Sally Ann Bowen's obliged to be present for the entire finding, but when it becomes clear which way things are going, she gets up and walks away from her laptop. You will note that Miss Bowen is not here. She's unable to remain on the call and is, you may think understandably, maybe not, devastated by the findings that you've made so far, which she can't continue to hear. The Teaching Regulation Agency bans Miss Bowen from the profession indefinitely. It's a really big deal. And what's striking about it is how categorical

they are in their finding, especially when you consider that almost all the panel had to go on was two competing accounts, he said, she said. Just like me, they found Garrett's account believable. The detail, the consistency in his story, and the fact that he doesn't always put himself in a favourable light. It's a huge vindication for Gareth after so many years of being doubted. All those teachers who said they didn't know what went on back

then or that Sally Ann Bowen wouldn't have behaved that way, well, it's made their positions a lot more difficult. It was, yeah, there was a lot riding on it. There was a lot riding on it. So, yeah, it was massive relief, like overwhelming relief. I actually thought he was over. And that meant alright. Gordon, you can have a laugh at me. And then I called. Well, no, but it wasn't finished anyway. It wasn't finished because stuck in Gareth's mind was what that guy on the tube had told him.

That he wasn't the only one. that guy on the tube had told him, that he wasn't the only one. When Sally Ann Bowen was banned from teaching by the TRA, a few local papers reported the story, and it went viral among former Christ College boys. Lots of guys in his year were pretty sure Gareth was the victim, because the rumours were so widespread at the time. But other former Christ College students just saw references to Pupil A, as he was known in the tribunal, and a few of them told me they were all messaging each other trying to guess who it might be. I've spent the last year calling as many of them as I could find, some scattered as far as Australia, Holland and the US.

What I was hoping is that they'd give me a name, the name of the lucky boy that the guy on the tube was alluding to. But it turns out there isn't a name. There are lots and lots of names of boys who were rumored to be having sex with Miss Bowen. And the guy on the tube, he could have been referring to any one of them.

But one guy in particular kept coming up. All I'll say about him is that he was a member of the Christ College cricket team, and he was a few years older than Gareth. He would have been in the sixth form back in the late 80s. Some of his closest friends told me they were convinced that the cricketer had a sexual relationship with Miss Bowen. One of them said he'd even seen Miss Bowen kissing him

at a party. The cricketer wouldn't engage with me directly, but he passed on a message to say that, yes, he did have a sexual relationship with Sally Ann Bowen when he was still a student at the school. At the time he would have been over 16, so over the age of consent. Today it's illegal for a person in a position of authority, like a teacher, to have sex with anyone under the age of 18, but that law didn't exist back then. The cricketer told me what happened with Miss Bowen felt like a positive experience for him and he doesn't want to talk about it. But he seems to be confirming that he was another boy at the school who was having sex with Miss Bowen.

I keep coming back to that fight I had with one of the six formers at Finchley Carnival and he seemed so, so sure in himself. When I tell Gareth about the cricketer, it takes him back to one of the many fights he had. This particular one was with a much older boy. When he said to me, ah, she was a slag, the way he said it to me, I felt that he knew. That's why I became very upset about it because he did it with such confidence, if you like. All those jibes about Miss Bowen? Back then it felt like the other kids were just making digs at him. But now Gareth's reframing those comments.

Maybe they were trying to tell him something. He was hoping to learn if there was any truth to what the guy on the tube had told him, but now he's found out it's a real blow. Yeah, I said from the start I didn't know anything and I knew this process was gonna be difficult for me because it's not nice to sit here and think It's not nice to sit here and think I was basically like her plaything and that I was really nothing.

Because like you said, I mean, whether wrong or right, I thought that I was one selected out of 900. And I know it doesn't make much difference. But you see, you know, learning these things, I don't know, I feel a lot, I guess I feel a lot more used then. When I started working on this story a year ago, I was trying to find out if anyone could confirm Gareth's memories and I wanted to know why people were so reluctant to talk about it. Where I've ended up is somewhere far darker and harder to report. It's become clear to me that Gareth's name is one of many that

circulated the school alumni network after the TRA finding was made public. I've looked into all the other names of men, then boys, who were rumoured to have had sex or sexual contact with Miss Bowen. Some of the names connected with her, like the cricketer, are more credible than others. But 30 years down the line, it's become almost impossible to sift school yard bravado and the sexism of the time from substantial allegations. So I haven't been able to corroborate most of these individuals confidently enough to lay them out for you here. But it leaves me with a clear view. Had the school or the authorities at the time taken seriously what was happening with Gareth,

happening to Gareth, our view on Sally Ann Bowen would be so much clearer. We'd know if there were other victims and we'd know whether it was safe for her to continue teaching at 14 other schools. As it stands, we don't. Yeah, but I don't know his name and I really don't know his name. There is still one more person I'd love to speak to. The Asian boy from Christ College

School who was walking Miss Bowen home. Gareth came across him the very first time he walked to Miss Bowen's house. He remembers closing the door on this guy before going in for a cigarette and a cup of tea. After that, he never saw that kid again. So what I need you to do is to sit down and think about any identifying features, anything that you can remember about and just put it into words. So I get a friend to post on one of the biggest alumni WhatsApp groups to see if anyone recognises Gareth's description.

And then we wait. It feels like a long shot and honestly, I'm not really expecting anyone to respond. So I'm really surprised when a man eventually replies saying he's the guy who regularly walked Ms Bowen home home and then he drops a bombshell. He says he was also involved sexually with Sallyanne Bowen. But he's not sure he wants to talk about it. Hi. Hello Chloe, how are you doing?

I call Gareth to fill him in and this particular bit of news, that a boy his own age, in his year at school, had a relationship with Sallyanne Bowen, it hits him much harder than he's expecting. Right, and I know that it's difficult for me to say to you, don't get caught up emotionally until we've confirmed it because there's no point in saying that. And I can imagine you've already got that in your head. Well, whatever he says, I just wanted to express the fact that I'm in a very mixed up place for the last two hours. To feel jealousy or to feel competitiveness with another 51 year old man 36 years later is an extremely confusing feeling for me and my memories are being rewritten

At the age of 51 because I didn't know certain things at the time I'm slowly realizing that like, um, yeah, I don't think she ever loved me. He's a little bit funny. He's still working me out. Yeah, I'm going to put my leg in the camera. After months of texting back and forth, debating whether or not to talk to me, the guy who walked Miss Bowen home accepts an invitation to come round to mine for lunch. Shall we have something to eat? Are you hungry?

Whatever, whatever's better. He's friendly and open, but he's clear. He doesn't want us to use his real name, so we're calling him Sanjay. I don't remember this but it turns out I've met Sanjay before. He came to a house party I threw when I was 17. Back then we were all Goths. Yeah I don't think I look like one because I think in my head all Goths were white kids and they were very pasty and with very dark hair. So my hair was dark, my hair was long, but I didn't quite look the part, look the same. We spent a while rewinding the clock and talking about a lot of the same bands we were into.

And then the conversation turns to Gareth. Sanjay remembers him as a bit arrogant, a bit of a bully. And although there are common threads, Sanjay's experience is very different from Gareth's. So when did you sort of have any interaction with her? When did you start having any interaction with her? Around about the age of 14, 15, so we're talking what, 1988, somehow I got involved in a small group of people that started going to a cafe at lunchtime with Miss Bowen. The CAF, the same one where Gareth says he had his first mind-blowing experience over a porno mag with Miss Bowen. I guess that was when I got to know the guys that would be in the cafe more because we didn't really have that much social interaction otherwise.

Who were they? Just... Proper names? For now, yeah, we'll cut this bit out. Right, okay. Proper names? For now, yeah, we'll cut this bit out. Right, okay. He tells me the name of two boys.

Names that have come up in my investigation. I've contacted both of them, but neither would agree to talk to me. There was also a third boy. Gareth. Sanjay says that he, Gareth and the other two would meet up regularly at the CAF with Miss Bowen. The incredible thing is, Gareth has no memory whatsoever of sitting with Sanjay in the cafe. But Sanjay remembers him being there, at least for some of the time. And what did you talk about when you would all hang out?

I really don't know. At first anyway, or general conversation, I can't really remember. He says that after a while, those lunch break chats with Miss Bowen in the cafe change in tone. The other boys, who are all much wilder and more confident than Sanjay, they start pushing boundaries and finding that there isn't much resistance. They would be much more flirtatious, particularly with Miss Bowen. They were a little bit more crude or rude with the sort of things they were coming up with. And I just sat there and I was part of it.

Sanjay remembers the boys having porno mags in the cafe and he says Miss Bowen flicks through the pages while they ask her which of the models she looks like when she's naked. Just like Gareth, Sanjay's mind is a bit blown by this explicit sexual conversation with a grown woman, but he's shy and confused about it all. And then what happened? I think it's fair to say things started getting a little bit more inappropriate. So I was egged on by the others to give her a kiss. So I'd kiss her. I was egged on to touch her.

When you say kiss, are we talking about a peck on the lips or are we talking about a snog? Just a kiss on the lips and it made me feel amazing but at the same time I felt a bit embarrassed and she wouldn't stop it from happening. And then when you said touch her? Yeah, so there was touching in inappropriate places. Where does that mean? Breasts between the legs? Both. I put my hand between her legs on her lap.

In the cafe? In the cafe. And I'm trying to understand how, like they would say to you, go on, touch her and then you would fondle her breasts. Yeah, so it was a suggestion that one of the lads in particular would have had and he would have done it himself to show me what I need to do. I grabbed her breasts on one occasion and just held them. I didn't do anything more than that. The leader of the group is the first to act. He's the first to touch Miss Bowen. And then Sanjay says he encourages him to do the same.

This guy didn't want to engage with me and I'm not going to name him here. To be clear, Sanjay says Ms Bowen's allowing them to touch her on multiple occasions and this isn't in some secret location. It's all happening at the cafe very near the upper school building. Were there other people around? There were staff there, there would have been other people at other tables. Again, when you look back at it, I can't imagine what that would have looked like or what that would have seemed like to other people sat at other tables having their lunches or a cup of tea or whatever.

No one really told us to stop, no one told us ever to get out. No one ever came past the table and made any comments, we just sat there and this sort of stuff used to happen. The cafe would have been busy and Ms Bowen apparently often sat with her back to the counter and so this wouldn't have been easy for the cafe staff to see. Sanjay says he can't be sure how many times they meet like this with Miss Bowen, but he thinks it's several times over a period of a few weeks, by which point they've clearly crossed a line.

Well, certainly from my own perspective, I'd really got into a place where I started becoming quite infatuated by her. Just like Gareth, Sanjay feels drawn in by her, by the fact that he says she's allowing him to touch her and kiss her. Just like Gareth Sanjay feels drawn in by her by the fact that he says she's allowing him to touch her and kiss her. But the really big difference is that Sanjay isn't alone with her. It's a shared experience between a group of boys. What he does have that feels more special is what happens after school. Miss Bowen lets Sanjay walk her home and when they get to her place he says she lets him kiss her goodbye. Then one afternoon she tells

him she's having a fireworks party in a couple of days. Would he like to come round? He thinks it might just be him she's inviting. And I can't be sure whether the other guys from the cafe were as well. But it felt to me that that was an invitation for me to go round to hers. When the evening comes, he changes his mind and he stands her up. I think I ended up at my mate's house instead and I remember thinking most of that evening just sitting there going I should have gone to Miss Bowen's house. If I went there then maybe I would have got more than just a kiss on the lips.

For ages afterwards he feels he's chickened out of something that could have been important for him. And then years later when he hears on the grapevine that Gareth's been badly damaged by his experience, he looks back and wonders whether this was a sliding doors moment, that if he'd gone to her house that night, he could have ended up somewhere like Gareth. After that missed fireworks party, he stops walking her home. And the meetings in the cafe, they stop soon after that too. And when she left school, it was very much a case of one day she was there, the next day there was a rumour, the day after that she was gone.

What was the rumour? That she'd slept with Gareth. slept with Gareth. Hello. Hi. How are you doing? Okay, have you got your recorder? Yeah, always.

So... Gareth's been waiting with baited breath to hear what Sanjay's story is. What he's hoping is that Sanjay can corroborate the fact that he went into Miss Bowen's house, but Sanjay doesn't remember Gareth being with them when he walked her home. None of it matches in the way Gareth's hoping and he's really upset about it. All I can say to that, this is my response to it. Don't remember any of that in the cafe. At all being a regular thing. At all. And I mean at all. When you stop and think about it, it's not so surprising that Sanjay and Gareth's stories don't align. Remember, all this happened 35 years ago. Our brains can't possibly retain everything that happens. Our memory filters out things that don't feel that significant to us.

The experiences Gareth says he had one-on-one with Miss Bowen in that cafe, they were so huge and life-changing that they're the bits, he says, are clear. A couple of days later, when he's had a chance to process it all, Gareth calls me back. The only thing that I would say I'm surprised and sort of disappointed in my own reaction is that I found it, very unsettling it's like finding your first girlfriend with you kissing all the other boys behind your back and I think there was resistance from me to listen to like I don't really want to

hear that but I mean I don't doubt what he says it's too similar to my experience for him to make it up that's the that's the truth it's too fucking similar for him to make it up. That's the truth, it's too fucking similar. And also if you're going to make something up, you don't put it in a cafe with loads of witnesses. You make something up when you're alone with somebody. Yeah, and the thing is... And it's too fucking weird as well, this idea that he was touching her up in front of all these other people. Yeah, very odd, but then the truth is odd, isn't it? That's the problem with the truth, it always is odd, it's not like... It doesn't run in a straight line. That's the problem with like the truth it always is odd it's not like...

It doesn't run in a straight line. That's right. There's no satisfying neat story here where one man's memories mirror the others. But what there is, is a clear theme that runs through both of their accounts. That Miss Bowen engaged in sexual activity with them. I've tried very hard to persuade Sally Ann Bowen to talk to me but she hasn't responded to any of my letters or emails. The final email I sent her sets out in detail all the allegations I've uncovered over the last year. I only know she's seen it because her partner sends me a very angry email.

But Sally Ann Bowen never replies. And what about the school? After the TRA reached its finding, Christ College didn't make any kind of public acknowledgement of the fact that their regulatory body had banned Sally Ann Bowen from teaching and had found Gareth's allegations to be credible. Still I was hoping the current headteacher might be willing to hear me out about everything I uncovered, the three cases, Gareth, Sanjay and the cricketer, in which one of their staff had allegedly engaged in sexual activity with pupils, as well as all the witnesses who claimed to have seen and heard Sally Ann Bowen's inappropriate behaviour with students.

In other schools where historical sex abuse has been uncovered, victims have received acknowledgement and apologies that back then the institution failed those pupils, even if today it's different and safeguarding is taken more seriously. I tried numerous times to get in touch with the current administration at Christ College. When eventually I managed to speak to someone I was told, in no uncertain terms, that the school would not be engaging with me on any level. Both Gareth and Sanjay have come to feel that what happened to them wasn't right. That's what's propelled them to speak to me. They also have something else in common.

They've both chosen to remain anonymous. Not because they're ashamed of what happened to them, but because they're pretty sure they'll attract a lot of criticism from people who still see them as lucky boys. Since I started reporting this story, it feels like there are more and more newspaper articles about female teachers having sex with their students, perhaps because I'm looking for them. I found at least a dozen cases reported in the UK last year alone, the most notorious being that of Rebecca Joines, who was convicted for having sex with two 15-year-old boys from

the school where she taught, and ended up giving birth to a baby fathered by the child she was having sex with. Her victim's experience and Gareth's are separated by more than three decades but they're so similar that it sent chills down my spine. In a victim statement read out after Rebecca Joynes was sentenced the boy said he initially struggled to come to terms with his abuse and was in complete denial. He said I would argue until I was blue in the face protecting her and would not hear a bad word said against her. I felt as though I'd betrayed somebody I love and had done wrong by giving evidence. It took him years to realise he'd been coerced, controlled and manipulated by his teacher, he said.

And he describes how the entire affair and the lies he told destroyed his family. I read, there was an article today as well in the Daily Mail, it didn't set me off well for the day I have to say, but it was an article about a 21 year old being with a 16 year old boy. I went stupidly, I went through their 238 comments and it was just the succession of your usual shit. When I was 16 this would have been a dream. I bet the boy thinks he has won the lottery. Legal, bet the lad is having a great time and learning. It just goes to shoulder, the attitude of society towards this kind of thing. She can even help him with his GCSE resits. Lucky boy. The way these stories are reported is very different when the perpetrator is a man. He's a sicko, a predator. If the offender is a woman, she's sex-mad and sex-addicted, followed

by long descriptions about how attractive she is. And always there's an assumption that sex for teenage boys is an achievement and most of all the idea that boys are somehow immune to emotional harm. Gareth now believes he was hurt by his relationship with Miss Bowen but also hurt by the cover-up that came after and continued into his adulthood. What's been harder and taken longer for him to recognise and then finally sever is the emotional hold Miss Bowen had over him. I was thinking about that the other day as well, how I would feel if you know I was still quiet I'd heard nothing and then I heard a documentary saying actually at Christ College I think that would

a part of it breaking the spell her spell is not being special I think if I had if I was in that position and I heard this podcast so I think I would come forward at that stage. It might take me a couple of months but I think I would come forward so I think if there are others I think they will come forward. I do believe that. If you have any more information about this story or if you just want to get in touch with us about your own experience, you can write to us at podcasts at tortoismedia.com. In the past, Sallyanne Bowens denied that she had any kind of sexual contact with Gareth or any other boy. Lucky Boy is reported by me, Chloe Hajimathain. The producer is Gary Marshall. Additional production from Rebecca Moore.

Sound design is by Hannah Varrell. Original music by Tom Kinsella. Podcast artwork by Lola Williams. The voice actors are Karis Pentecost, Jasper Corbett, Matt Russell and Katie Gunning. The AI voice cloning was from Eleven Labs and the executive producer was Basher Cummings. Special thanks to Kavita Puri, Tom Wright, Zanthi Mallet, Peter Garsden, Keith Oddie and Alex Renton. If you or someone you know has experienced the issues covered in this episode there are places you can reach out to. If you have any concerns about a child, then you can contact the NSPCC's helpline by calling 0808 800 5 000 or emailing help at nspcc.org.uk or visiting their website.

Children can contact Childline and talk to an impartial counsellor. No concern is too big or small to discuss. Simply call 0800 1111 or visit their website for a one-to-one chat. For general concerns or talk, adults joe at samaritans.org. That's joe at samaritans.org. Tortoise. It's the season for new styles and you love to shop for jackets and boots. So when you do, always make sure you get cash back from Rakuten. And it's not just clothing and shoes. You can get cash back from over 750 stores on electronics, holiday travel, home decor,

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