Who Trolled Amber? - Sweet Bobby - Episode 6: Motive

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

In the final episode of Sweet Bobby, Kirat’s case against the catfisher takes an unexpected turn. As Alexi is putting the finishing touches to the series, he gets a phone call that changes everythin...g.Listen to the full series today. For the premium Tortoise listening experience, curated by our journalists, download the free Tortoise audio app. For early and ad-free access to all our investigative series and daily and weekly shows, subscribe to Tortoise+ on Apple Podcasts.If you’d like to further support slow journalism and help us build a different kind of newsroom, do consider donating to Tortoise at tortoisemedia.com/support-us. Your contributions allow us to investigate, campaign and explore, and to build a newsroom that is responsible and sustainable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show of glamour and scandal and political intrigue and a battle for the soul of a nation. Hollywood Exiles, from CBC Podcasts and the BBC World Service. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com So it's Thursday and I've just arrived outside the radio station. I was scared as I was leaving.
Starting point is 00:01:25 And I'm scared now. It's the first time I'm doing the show since Sweet Bobby went live. Since the podcast came out, Kira hasn't presented her regular show. But for the first time, she's on her way back to Desi Radio. I don't know if people will know what I've been through because I haven't put anything on my socials very much and I've always been private on my socials. And as Kirat is preparing to go back on air,
Starting point is 00:01:53 we're putting together this final episode. It was going to be all about closure, about Kirat getting her life back on track despite everything, including all the tensions and complications within her own Punjabi Sikh community. And it's still all about that. But we've basically had to rewrite the end of the series because something new came to light, something unexpected.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Just as we were putting together the finishing touches, I get a call from Kirat. And it's a call that, for the first time, really gives me insight into why Simran did what she did. The closest, I think, I've ever gotten. There was a phrase that she used which bothered me. which bothered me. She honestly believed that we were both in a dark place and living in this kind of alternative reality of this fantasy world that she'd created
Starting point is 00:02:53 was bringing us both some kind of happiness and joy. And then the fact that she's only just realised that it wasn't any kind of fantasy for me. I'm Alexi Mostras, and from Tortoise Media, you're listening to Sweet Bobby. Episode 6, Motive. For me, it makes no difference. I know her and I know who she is and I've known her since she was a little girl. That's Nilesh, a childhood friend of Kirat's.
Starting point is 00:03:46 He's reacting to an apology letter, signed by Simran Bogle, the person who catfished Kirat for almost a decade. We want her to move on. We want her to be, you know, well and find a happy life. That's what we want more than anything else. By 2020, two years had passed since Simran confessed to this monumental deceit. But when Kirat sued her in court, her lawyers came out all guns blazing. They accused Kirat of grooming her while she was still at school. It's a pretty astonishing and incendiary allegation.
Starting point is 00:04:23 And it was yet another blow for Kirat. After so many years of struggling, now she was faced with an expensive legal battle. But then suddenly, Simran changed tack. One day, in spring this year, 2021, Simran offered to settle the case. And who did she write this to? Directly to you? So it's an apology letter, it's like a formal apology letter to me.
Starting point is 00:04:52 And I'm allowed to show a limited number of people, so I have to tell her who I'm showing it to, so she even knows who I'm showing it to. It meant, after years of fighting, Kirat would finally get a small payout, and more importantly, Simran agreed to give her a written apology. But Simran's lawyers had one more card to play. The apology came with strings attached.
Starting point is 00:05:17 No, it's a private apology. So it comes straight to me and the court knows I'm getting a private apology, but they also know who I'm showing it to. I'm not allowed to say what the contents are to anybody else. No one's allowed to have a copy of it, make a copy of it, anything. And I put your name down on the list of people that I want to show it to. Kirat had wanted a public apology, something that could be read out in court. But Simran would only settle if
Starting point is 00:05:46 the apology was private, or at least semi-private. She insisted that Kirat could only show the apology to about 30 people. And even worse, none of the people on the agreed list could make any copies of the apology or tell anyone else what it said. When Kirat heard this, she was furious. It felt like an extension of the control Simran had tried to keep over her. That same dynamic again, Simran or Bobby or whoever calling the shots. Kirat argued with her lawyers, telling them that it just wasn't good enough, that it wasn't just this that Kirat was unhappy about. She also felt like the wording of the apology was just too vague,
Starting point is 00:06:31 so she rewrote it herself, making it more punchy. And Simran agreed to sign this version, but she still insisted that it couldn't be public. Kirat felt deeply uncomfortable about this, but she was being told, realistically, this might be the best she was going to get, so she agreed to settle on these terms. A semi-private apology that wasn't even in Simran's own words.
Starting point is 00:07:02 But still, this was the only documentary proof that Kirat had of Simran's guilt. So when Kirat showed it to those closest to her, to some of the pre-agreed list of 30 friends and family, I wanted to be there. And to be honest, I kind of imagined tears and emotion. But actually, that was a miscalculation. Nilesh's take seemed to be that the apology made no difference either way. He'd support Kirat no matter what. It is what it is. We just worried about her well-being. Doesn't matter how it happened
Starting point is 00:07:40 and how she was gullible. But it's that very perception of you like saying gullible is that that's like for me it's a problem because I don't think I was gullible it was like she'd gone out of her way to do this to me and this is the thing like lots of people think you must have been so gullible you must be so gullible and I kept like challenging that and things like it is I mean Alexi you've been through the evidence you've seen and read like god knows how many conversations but you can see I'm like challenging all the way through I'm arguing I was I tried to get away I tried to get out of the relationship but I was just emotionally blackmailed into staying into it but it's just like that whole perception and
Starting point is 00:08:22 this is the thing the perception of what I don't want people to have of me now is that I'm gullible or I'm vulnerable because I've stood up to her. I've spent a lot of time with Kirat by now and I know that for her, the details really matter. And when people like Nilesh tell her to move on, as well-intentioned as that is, it's missing the point. She wants people to understand the details of the scam, to ask questions about how it worked. Because the more you understand that,
Starting point is 00:09:00 the sophistication of it all, the less you'll think she's gullible and the more you'll think, shit, maybe this could have happened to me. And that all applies to her own family too. The awkward, my dad's upstairs. You can really hear my dad on the phone constantly. He's just in denial. I've told him, he knows you're here. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Totally in denial i've told he knows you're here right totally in denial it's so difficult for me in that sense if my dad's in denial can you imagine our community when are you going to show him the letter i've offered three times sitting there on the top but yeah it's just he doesn't want to know. I don't know what's going through his head. I don't know whether he feels ashamed of me, scared of the family. I don't know. But it's the kind of genuine, I'm guessing it's the fears that you'd have in our community. But it doesn't make it easy for me.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Keira is still struggling to talk about what happened with her own family. She lives with her mum, dad and two younger brothers. But since all this was revealed, neither of her parents have really wanted to talk about any of it. And despite Keira having this apology letter for months, her dad still hasn't read it. So I really wanted to speak to him. And the fact that her dad just doesn't seem to want to know, I do find this really sad. Because I've heard Kirat speak about him with
Starting point is 00:10:33 great affection. In the days after Simran's confession, for instance, he was the person she most wanted to protect her. So I had to go and tell this to the family who'd been supportive and been talking to him too. I remember at that point I was sitting in their living room trying to explain all of this and it just felt like a vulnerable little girl
Starting point is 00:11:00 again and you just want your dad. I just wanted my dad. My dad was in Kenya and I knew I couldn't tell him because I didn't know what would happen. I didn't know how he'd feel. Kirat's dad was often away in Kenya for long periods and he wasn't there when Simran revealed that she was the catfish. So I really wanted to speak to him, to hear his reaction to Simran's apology. Not just because I wanted this for Kirat, but because I thought it might also give us some clues about how their wider community would treat this story too.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Should we go in and see whether we can speak to them? Yeah, let's see. Does he know we're coming? No. Hey, nice to see you again. Yeah, how are you? I'm fine. Almost as soon as we step into the hallway,
Starting point is 00:12:04 the same hallway where Simran confessed three years ago, Kirat's mum ushers us into the living room and offers us cardamom tea. And just as I'm thinking about how to persuade Kirat's dad to speak to me, I hear him walk down the stairs. She came in. Hi, Dad. It's very nice to meet you, Mr Asimov. This is Alexei. This is Gary. How are you? Nice to meet you, Mr. Asimov. Nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Thank you. Thank you so much. What a lovely house. At this point, we're all sitting in a circle in Kirat's living room. Her dad is opposite me, looking quite uncomfortable. Kirat's sitting next to him, about a metre away, not making much eye contact. She's on her phone. And her mum is sitting kind of over my shoulder,
Starting point is 00:12:46 watching us. It's all quite tense. We don't want you to speak about anything that you don't know. It would just be interesting to get your perspective as Kira's dad. Have your tea before you get cold. This is delicious. It is very good. Oh, you liked it?
Starting point is 00:13:02 Yeah, it's very nice. It is very unfortunate that this happened. Anyway, it shouldn't happen to anybody. And I'm sad that it happened. That's all I can say, really. I thought that if Kirat's dad was going to do an interview, we'd have a bit of time to prepare. At least enough time for Gary, my producer,
Starting point is 00:13:24 to get the mic set up properly. But as he started talking, I realised it was now or never. I think when this came into, I'm saying came in the media, or it wasn't, I just read it on the internet. And it is quite baffling to read that. It's quite shocking as well. And I went through it and aghast, simply aghast. And I think, I can't even believe that it happened. It should not have happened. I feel like Kirat's dad does not want to read this letter, that he thinks he's got as much information as he needs
Starting point is 00:14:05 from what he read online. If you were willing, I think it would be really interesting to see what you thought of the apology letter, because I think actually even more than the stuff on the internet, it tells you what has happened. So if Keerak gives it to you, do you mind reading it it tells you what what has happened so do you if kirek gives it to you would you do you mind reading it and telling us what you think i don't mind reading
Starting point is 00:14:32 it obviously i don't mind reading it obviously i'm the dad anyway so you can't say what's in it yeah oh yeah you can't say what's in it you can't describe what's in it basically even if i read it and and uh whether i read whether I read it and whether I read it or not, you know, my conclusion would be what I've just said to you. It should not have happened. It is sad that this happened, but it should not even happen
Starting point is 00:14:55 to anybody else. But Kirat passes it to him anyway. And while he reads, we wait. And I remember the clock ticking in the background, adding to the tension. Okay, she's gone through hell, basically. It's over, and I hope she gets on with her life. Do you think this will let her get on with her life now?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Do you think this is closure? I believe it will sort of calm her down in many ways. It's something maybe, it's deeply hurting to her. And I've been totally oblivious. Believe me, I've been totally oblivious. Believe me, I've been totally oblivious. I'll just explain to you. Most of the time, I did not know anything about it. Let's say, until I met Amrit, and Amrit with her,
Starting point is 00:15:55 that is the only time. And at that given time, I was told not to involve myself in any matters. This is... You don't have to answer this, but I have a daughter, and if I imagined that in 20 years' time she had been tricked and scammed
Starting point is 00:16:14 in the same way as Kirat has, I would be very upset and angry, and I wonder if you are. It's a difficult question to answer. It is upsetting, but then over a period of time, lots of things happen.
Starting point is 00:16:36 From your teens up to the time you get married, there are ups and downs, agreements between people, even during university times and things like that. You agree to get married and then something happens. That is the most upsetting thing in life. But it is upsetting. It doesn't go out of your mind all your life.
Starting point is 00:16:56 So I really, I'm sorry for anybody. I'm sorry for Kirat. I'm even sorry for Simran. It shouldn't have happened. Are you sorry for her? I'm sorry. I'm just like, what the hell are you sorry for Simran. It shouldn't have happened. Are you sorry for her? I'm sorry. I'm just like, what the hell are you sorry for her for? Look, sorry, I'm saying sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:10 It should not have happened. But why do you feel sorry for her? Look, because like myself... She has chosen to do this. No, no, no, listen to me, what I meant. Because she did something wrong, the grandfather is very badly hurt. And I'm saying sorry that it should not happen
Starting point is 00:17:29 because the grandfathers are very decent people. You feel sorry about the situation? To the parents, to the grandfather, yes, but not Simran. Or the situation, yeah. Not for Simran, I would say no. It shouldn't have happened. Sorry that it's happened, but it shouldn't have happened. It hurts the whole family. It ups't have happened. Sorry that it's happened, but it shouldn't have happened. It hurts the whole family.
Starting point is 00:17:45 It upsets the relationships. You know, you cannot get on with life not as before. So it is upsetting. Now, I should say, this is obviously a difficult moment for Kirat. And she probably would have reacted just as strongly if anyone had suggested they should feel sorry for Simran, not just her dad. And her reaction, this tension, is all bound up, she told me,
Starting point is 00:18:17 in a sense of guilt for letting her family down, for exposing them to hurt. Thank you very much. I mean, that was like, you know, we don't want to push it at all. We're just very grateful, very grateful. And we know it's quite hard. My last comment is that the parents were very decent. The grandfather is such a decent person, believe me, honestly. They're from a decent family. Why this has happened is beyond my understanding anyway.
Starting point is 00:18:52 It's totally beyond my understanding. I've told Kirat so many, even previously I've told Kirat, I do not know the girl, I do not know Simran. I haven't talked to her. You can put that in, the dad has never talked to, Kirat's dad has never talked to this girl. When Kirat's dad finished speaking, a lot of stuff fell into place for me. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't understand anywhere near the full extent of the scam.
Starting point is 00:19:22 And you can literally feel, can't you, how uncomfortable he was. He seemed to be battling within himself between protecting his daughter on the one hand and not rocking the boat. And on one level, I'm thinking maybe this is understandable. This is an older guy from a community that both experts and Kirat have told me is quite patriarchal,
Starting point is 00:19:46 quite traditional. Plus, he's got complex ties to Simran Bogle's family. I mean, Simran's dad was best man at Kirat's parents' wedding. Why me? It's just like, why me? It's a huge question. It's such a huge question. It's just like, why me? It's a huge question. It's such a huge question. It's just like I don't understand. I reckon that we're going to get to the end of this podcast series and never know. I've made my peace with not knowing.
Starting point is 00:20:24 It's always difficult to come to a conclusion. Even if you ask Simran why she did it, she will not give you an answer why I did it. That is a really good point. She might not know herself. The question of Simran's motivation keeps coming up. Of course it does. It's pretty much all anyone I talk to about this show wants to know. Why did she do it? And how?
Starting point is 00:21:00 Like the nuts and bolts of it. A few days ago, a woman who knows Simran got in touch through a third party. This woman remembers going on a hen do with Simran just a few years ago, and she says that Simran didn't go out that night, the night of the do, because she apparently had to jump on some business calls to America on Skype. And this I find particularly interesting, because if what Simran was actually doing was calling Kirat as Bobby, it shows that the scam was taking over her life almost as much as it was taking over Kirat's. was taking over Kirat's. While Kirat was fighting Simran in the civil courts, her legal team kept pressing the police to act. Yet by March 2020, almost two years after the confession, the
Starting point is 00:21:58 investigation had gone nowhere. So just as the pandemic was hitting, Kira issued a formal complaint. And 13 months later, in April 2021, she finally got a response. And basically said there's nothing to answer for. The conclusion was, because we've got the document that they sent back to you, The conclusion was, because we've got the document that they sent back to you, and the conclusion was, while I have absolutely no doubt that you have felt victimised by the events described in your allegation, I can only concur that the behaviour described,
Starting point is 00:22:34 while morally objectionable, does not violate any existing legal statute. The complaint board upheld Hounslow Police's decision to drop the case. They basically said they did the right thing. Keira was devastated. And it was evident that they didn't listen, didn't understand the complexity of the case, and that we had the right to appeal to the IOPC, the Independent Office for Police Conduct. The police just focused on the sexual aspect. They failed
Starting point is 00:23:13 to have any regard for the coercive control, the controlling behaviour element, the malicious communications, the harassment, and this ten-year deception. They just did not grasp the case. I've seen the document dismissing her complaint and the only offence it mentions is the Sexual Offences Act. The police don't seem to have considered any other potential crimes. seem to have considered any other potential crimes. Since this podcast came out, we've heard from many other people who've been through similar experiences to Kirat. People who've been tricked for years by catfishers, often with devastating psychological consequences, and all too often the police have refused to engage.
Starting point is 00:24:07 So it really genuinely surprised me when, against this pretty bleak backdrop, Kirat phoned me recently with some positive news. The IOPC, the independent body that investigates the police, had looked at Kirat's case again. Kirat had written to them to make one final appeal. She'd actually got Amrit to send it, figuring they might take it more seriously if it came from a solicitor. And the IOPC, it found that the police hadn't properly considered Kirat's evidence. And the upshot is, Hounslow police may have to reconsider
Starting point is 00:24:48 their decision to drop the case against Simran. Kirat is actually meeting an officer next month to go through everything, including the critical period where Bobby was controlling her. And I'm thinking, hopefully this time, Kirat will get more than 20 minutes to explain. KCAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, I'm Una Chaplin, and I'm the host of a new podcast called Hollywood Exiles. It tells the story of how my grandfather, Charlie Chaplin, and many others were caught up in a campaign to root out communism in Hollywood. It's a story of glamour and scandal and political intrigue
Starting point is 00:25:46 and a battle for the soul of the nation. Hollywood Exiles, from CBC Podcasts and the BBC World Service. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. A few days before this episode was due to come out, I have what's supposed to be a final conversation with Kirat, and we're sitting in her bedroom at home.
Starting point is 00:26:19 And it's one of the first times when I've been able to ask her about the IOPC decision. And it's one of the first times when I've been able to ask her about the IOPC decision. What do you hope happens now in light of the IOPC decision? I hope that everything gets taken seriously. I mean, I don't wish harm on anybody, but she's got to be accountable and responsible for her behaviour. And if there are laws and if she's broken a law, she needs to face the consequences of what she's done. And it's not that I'm being nasty here, but that's what it is. It's justice. I know that this might be one of my last chances to ask Kirat some of the questions that have been on my mind throughout making this series. Some questions that I know you've been asking as well.
Starting point is 00:27:07 this series some questions that I know you've been asking as well. I suppose let's just address the the how question because it's something that a lot of people are asking about and I suppose the main question that we're getting is how Simran was able to do all those voices like how do you think she was able to do it for me it wasn't that many voices it was including her own which is herself there was another um four i think but how could she go from how could she uh compellingly go from a man to a woman to simran to someone else without you recognizing that well bobby has a different accent and he was obviously not well and that whole thing had been explained to me and then when you're speaking to somebody over a period of two or three years it kind of normalises itself.
Starting point is 00:28:05 You just accept that that's his voice now. The fact that I knew he'd lost his voice during the stroke and medics and other people had, you know, the medical team had told me he's lost his voice. He can't talk. He can't move. He's only got this bit of movement in him left. And even when we're doing those initial calls he couldn't speak to me so I was getting reports of his voice therapy he's going to his voice therapy session today and then after about over almost a year of him having voice therapy and you know his rehab he had another stroke and lost it again so um his voice never went back to exactly how it was he had his accent but you you you were also speaking to at least one other person i'm gonna get the initials wrong maybe yj
Starting point is 00:28:58 that was right at the end in 2018 right but yj a man. He hadn't had any damage to his voice. And Simran was YJ. So what did that voice sound like? Initially, he'd only call me and cry. It was after his sister was unwell and he'd never called me before. But it was like he'd call me then hang up and it'd be just lots of crying and crying and crying because his sister was severely unwell and he was leaning on me for support and I think he was also
Starting point is 00:29:32 being used a distraction technique from me asking Bobby the 60 million questions of what the hell's your problem kind of thing JJ and YJ's voices came to play so much later that because they sounded slightly different, but there was a similarity enough for them to think that they're from the same family. But I was, I think at that point, I was constantly being shouted at. I was in a really bad place. And that probably clouded my judgment. I did think it. I was like okay
Starting point is 00:30:05 oh but he does sound like him but you don't you forget because you've been speaking to Bobby for two and a half years with this voice which is you don't think like that you think they're brothers you just and I was a state at that point if Simran is listening to this podcast and listening to this episode do you have a message for her? You brought this on yourself, but I don't know if you grasp what you've done and how you've impacted my life or other people's lives. Just want you to wake up and understand how many people you've upset,
Starting point is 00:30:49 including your own family. I'm not accepting the blame for that. I'm not accepting the blame for anything here. I haven't done anything wrong. What do you think the future looks like? I don't know. I have no idea. I know what I want it to look like. What do you want it to look like?
Starting point is 00:31:13 I'd like to be just, like, happy, go lucky me. Or I am, whether I'm lucky, but I'm just, like, the happy, like, spirited person that I am. Just be that person without any worry um you know move out have my own place find somebody if I could have a family you know obviously that's something now the big thing that she's upset in my life whether I could can or can't have a family I don't know and just do all the things that I wanted. All those years where I wanted to travel so much. And she knew I wanted to travel and do these things.
Starting point is 00:31:48 And we'd plan, you know, me and Bobby had Pinterest boards of holidays and stuff. And, you know, but just because that happened, she's not allowed to take that away from me. I'm still going to do those things for myself, even if it wasn't with Bobby. Bobby wasn't real and I've accepted that. And that's what lets me, I just keep saying, that wasn't real. It was real to me at the time, but I've accepted that it's not real now. I've spoken out now.
Starting point is 00:32:18 This is now going to be attached to me for the rest of my life. I can't run away from this. But at the end of the day, there's nothing, there's no shame in it, there's no embarrassment in it because if you were in my shoes, you probably would have at the start. I thought this was where we were going to end. But then there was that phone call I mentioned at the start, the one that changed this whole final episode.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Hey, Kirat, how are you doing? Kirat had been speaking to her friend about the apology letter, the one that Simran had signed but didn't write, the one that she had shown her dad. And she said, you know, it's so unemotional. And I just remember trying to think of a time when she was emotional and I suddenly remembered that this had been sent to me as a draft apology to see if I would accept this, but it was only for my eyes
Starting point is 00:33:41 and it was the most emotional thing from her in any sense. Keira had received another apology letter before the one that ended up in the settlement and this draft apology letter had been written by Simran herself. This one was much more personal. It was written directly to Kirat from Simran, and Simran wanted Kirat to keep it to herself. If Kirat had accepted this letter, a completely private apology, as the basis of her settlement, then she could never have shown it to anyone else. anyone else. Instead, she insisted on a version that could be shown to her close friends and family, those 30 pre-agreed people I mentioned earlier. So this draft apology, sent in early 2021, kind of got forgotten about. It became just another document in a long list of emails and drafts that Kirak received leading up to the formal settlement. Even now, Kirat can't show us this original direct apology for legal reasons, but I did ask her if she could give me the gist of it, because this letter is really important. It's really the only
Starting point is 00:34:59 document Kirat has that gives any real clues about Simran's motivation, about why she did it, and it's written in Simran's own words. I mean, I suppose my first question is, do you remember how it started? How did she open it? What did she say to you at first? You know, it was an emotional letter um and it was all like you know she she would change everything if she could and it was all very gushing and um you know I'm sorry for all the hurt I've kept pain and caused and all that kind of you know what you'd expect
Starting point is 00:35:42 somebody to say um so she said she opened it with an apology? Yeah, I mean, she did, yeah. It wasn't, yeah, sorry for the hurt. I mean, we've been thinking, as you know, so much about Simran's motivation. Like what made her do it, what made her... It was the same as what she'd said when she'd confessed that she was in a dark place. I mean, that's exactly the words that she used'd said when she'd confessed that she was in a dark place. I mean, that's exactly the words that she used when she came home and confessed.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Kirat remembers the letter opening with Simran explaining how this whole thing got started, about how she was struggling with things going on in her personal life. She had other issues too. And then how she met Kirat for the first time as a teenager and thought that they just clicked. And then how the lies just snowballed out of control. What else do you remember the letter saying? I mean, I'm absolutely fascinated because this is the first time that we've really heard anything from Simran in her own words
Starting point is 00:36:40 about why she did it. I mean, I was really upset with this letter. She thought I was okay. I think some kind of, there was a phrase that she used which bothered me. She honestly believed that we were both in a dark place and living in this kind of alternative reality of this fantasy world that she'd created was bringing us both some kind of happiness and joy. And then the fact that she's only just realised that it wasn't any kind of fantasy for me and it wasn't bringing me any kind of happiness,
Starting point is 00:37:21 that really, I mean, that really sticks out me and then and then is there any indication about in the letter about why she allowed it to kind of continue what what did she say about why she allowed it to get to the stage it did in the letter she said something along the lines of she had wanted to leave. You know, she said she'd try to end it. And the reason that she was so nasty to me and so cruel to me using those characters was hoping that I'd leave or she'd push me away and I'd just leave and be easy for her. So what was she saying that she was purposefully nasty to you in order to try and make you break up with Bobby?
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yes. But then Bobby would always have a heart attack or a stroke and I didn't have to come back in. So I don't understand. Did the letter say anything about why she didn't have to come back in so I don't understand and why didn't did did the letter say anything about why why she didn't stop it herself that was her effort I guess so she she on the on the on the surface of it if you didn't know anything about her or this or the context the letter itself is a pretty fulsome apology yeah I think anybody else reading it would think differently to me that it's emotional and heartfelt and that she's really
Starting point is 00:38:58 feeling pain did you believe that no I mean no I didn't think it was genuine at all. It was all about herself. Just explain why, because as you said, on the face of it, it seems like quite a heartfelt apology. So just explain the reasoning behind why you thought the opposite. She could have sent that to me ages ago. She could have stopped it being filed to court. She could have... Why did she only recognise all of this now?
Starting point is 00:39:30 Did she not recognise it when she confessed? Our team is split on this one. I agree with Kirat. It doesn't ring true for me at all. After all, it came only after months of aggressive tactics from Simran's lawyers. And Simran knew that it could only ever be seen by Kirat and no one else. So all that stuff about her being in a dark place and being sorry, I find it very difficult to believe.
Starting point is 00:40:10 And she seems to have had no trouble getting on with her life. Whereas Gary and Claudia, they think that maybe the letter does offer an insight into Simran's psychology. They think that if Simran knew the letter would only be seen by Kirat, maybe she felt like she could reveal more. But there's only one person who can say for sure. And if you're listening, Simran, we'd still like to hear from you. And we're going to stick with this case whatever happens, not least to see if the police reopen their investigation, because true justice is yet to come for Kirat. There is one thing, though, that I found out right before recording this final episode.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I found out that Simran is no longer in her high-powered job, that at some point between August and the time when this podcast went out, she left. Now, I don't know why she's no longer there, but it does perhaps feel like a step forward towards some sort of accountability, towards consequences. I know the question of why Simran did what she did is tantalising, but it might not be the most important thing here. Because with or without a clear explanation of motive, Kirat does seem to be on her way to recovery.
Starting point is 00:41:39 She's still got a whole bunch of issues to work through, financial, professional, but she's back on her radio show. She's got her supporters, people like Amrit. She's even been on a few dates. And despite everything that's happened to her, she's finally able to start reclaiming her life. So from me, until next time, go well, go safely, safely keep smiling this is kira signing out on the bunga road show remember look after yourselves and one another oh i'm glad i got the show over with today. While making the series,
Starting point is 00:42:37 Simran's lawyers gave us this statement on her behalf. This matter concerns a family dispute over events that began over a decade ago when I was a schoolgirl. As far as I'm concerned, this is a private family matter that has been resolved, and I strongly object to the numerous unfounded and seriously defamatory accusations that have been made about me, as well as details of private matters that have been shared with the media. Thanks for listening to this episode. Sweet Bobby was written and reported by me, Alexi Mostras,
Starting point is 00:43:15 produced by Gary Marshall, with additional reporting and production by Claudia Williams. Sound design is by Carla Patella. The executive producer is Basha Cummings. If you'd like to speak to me or Kirat in person, then do join us at our event, Sweet Bobby, Could Any of Us Be Catfished? on Monday the 6th of December at 6.30 UK time or 1.30pm EST. We'll explore what this story says about trust, relationships and our online lives. It's a digital-only event and as ever, Tortoise members can book tickets for free. digital-only event, and as ever, Tortoise members can book tickets for free. If you're not a member but would like to give it a go, why not take out a free 30-day trial in the Tortoise app? Do watch out for our bonus Q&A episode we're making with Kirat, and you can follow me on
Starting point is 00:44:16 Twitter, where I'll be posting updates on Kirat's case, including news on any future developments. I'm at Alexi Mostras. If you enjoyed Sweet Bobby, I think there's a good chance that you'll like some of our other podcasts too. If in-depth investigations are your thing, then why not try Left to Die, an astonishing story about a daring escape from a terrorist attack in Mozambique.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Or you could check out our award-winning current affairs show, The Slow Newscast. Just search for the shows wherever you get your podcasts, or get them ad-free by downloading the Tortoise app. Thank you so much for listening to this series. I love you. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall.
Starting point is 00:45:38 For tickets, visit tso.ca.

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