WHOA That's Good Podcast - Answering Your DM’s: Eating Disorders, Friendship & Forgiveness

Episode Date: April 22, 2020

Join Sadie as she dives into her DMs and answers listener questions! Her husband, Christian Huff, joins her as they discuss eating disorders, lifelong friendships and forgiveness.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up fam welcome back to the world. Let's get podcast. They really, really, why is everything a competition that is quarantined? That wasn't a competition. Now this one I'm gonna say. That was funny. Me and Christian here and this is another bonus episode. Normally we do our podcast every other week and we have special guests, but every

other week now since we're in quarantine. We're still special guests. Thanks, we're going to be answering y'all's DMs. So also just like, I just have to say this because I'm so excited. You do not want to miss next week's podcast. Like, you do not want to miss it. We have Pastor Mike Todd from Transformation Church and was it not just so good? It was phenomenal. Like I was taking notes on the side

and then at the end of it we decided we have to do a part two because this is just so good. So we're doing a part two. So we're doing a part two. But next week you don't want to miss it. It's part one. It's all about relationship goals But it's not just for people in a relationship. It's for the singles. It's for the Pringles. It's for all of you people

Who just need a little guidance when it comes to relation, which is all of us. If you're married, it's for you If you're dating, it's for you. If you're single, it's for you. If you've been married for 50 years It's for you. Like it is so good and just rooted in God's word. So you don't want to been married for 50 years, it's for you. It is so good and just rooted in God's words. So you don't want to miss it. When you listen to it, you're going to want to have a notebook and a box of tissues. Five, sure. Lying. No joke. Gets in chocolate, too. To make yourself feel better. It's so good. Anywho. But for now, we're going to read y'all's DMs and just kind of give some of our own advice because this podcast is circling around advice and hopefully help you out in whatever you're going through.

This DM says, so I'm bored and quarantined, ah-ha-ha, and I'm watching your video with Christian and about the year and I wanted to ask if you could do a video on creating lasting friendships. I've been struggling with that a lot lately and really can't figure out what the problem is. That's such a good question and I love that you are just acknowledging that it's a struggle. Like I can't find a lasting friendship. And you know, we were actually talking about this two days ago, me and my sister

and my mom were talking about friendships that are for a season and friendships that are for forever. And I will be honest, like there are some friendships that come into your life that I believe are truly for a season of your life. And I think the key to the seasonal friendships is that doesn't mean that they have to end with like a bang. That doesn't mean they have to end in like a bad way or whatever. I think seasonal friendships is when you have a friend that like is so intentional for that time and it is awesome and then then, mutually at the same time, God just kind of takes you to a different place.

And there's no hurt feelings. And you love that person and they love you. And there's like blessing and peace. And that's totally normal. And that's totally okay. There is another type of friendship that is like a lifelong friendship. I think how you develop those lifelong friendships

is you got to be straight up real. You got to know that if they're a lifer, they're going to see you and you're good bad and ugly and you're going to see them and they're good bad and ugly and how quickly do you all come back from arguments, how do you all choose to love each other? What are the words the others? How do you forgive each other? Are you there for them when times are bad? Are they there for them? When times are bad? Are they there for you? Like gets me truly walking every season out with another person no matter how different

it looks. Like for me, I think of me and Lani, like Lani's a lifelong friend, but the thing is, is like we have have our share of like disagreements or maybe little arguments, but like we come together and we talk and we talk it out about the same time, like no matter what, I know if I needed anybody to talk to or anybody there, like Laney would answer the phone, you know, and like she would be there. And now we're in two completely different places, like she lives in a different state than I do,

except for like we still call it to their ass to love her, I'd be there for her for anything. And so it's just like being the friend that's just there and being real. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Because I know for me, my friendships that I know will last a lifetime. I know that those are the ones that you're the most transparent

with, you're the most vulnerable with. And like you said, there are the good times, there's the tough times, and there are times where you have to work through things. But really just maintaining communication with one another, and really like Sadie said, just always being there for one another. I think that's the best way just to have one of those friendships

is knowing that you're always there for the other person, and that you're gonna tell them the good, bad, and the ugly, and everything in between. Yep, it's so good babe. So somebody actually asked another question that's kind of similar to this and they said, how do I forgive somebody who keeps speaking hurtful words over me, but they're a family member. So it's like, I can't just leave. Like, it's one of their parents. But I also don't want to just limit this question

Like just a parent or just a family member like how do you continually forgive somebody because by what talks about like forgiving 70 times seven like Unlimited forgiveness and I would be so honest like as hard as that is There is a reason and Jesus said that it's so necessary. Because the thing is, if you don't forgive somebody, bitterness grows in your heart, and it will grow, and it will grow, and it's a gift that keeps on giving in the most negative way. Because I feel like this,

it's like if you forgive somebody, like for instance, if me and Krishmurana argue it right now, and I didn't forgive them, and I, and I left this place. And man, my heart was just growing better and better than that. It's just getting a linger and linger and linger. But if I can just stop right here and say, you know what, that was not cool. And this hurt me because of this. But like, I forgive you. There is so much power in those words because when you walk away, you don't walk away

harbour in those feelings or that bitterness which would turn into resentment. And that's just a small example. But if you're in a relationship with somebody else that, you know, there's been things that they've said that really hurt and that you don't have the relationship that you can walk out to them and say, I forgive you. To me, I've had this type of relationships. And I have to like say it to myself, like, I forget that person for this, that really hurt, but I'm not going to let that make me damage my heart and my soul and become bitter and become resentful and kind of not be able to have the peace and the love that I know God would offer me

if I just forgive this person. Yeah, that's so good. I love what you said about forgiving 70 times 7ness with Jesus said. And as followers of Jesus, we are to post it, forgive those. And I think the thing for me that really helps me the most is just thinking about the crucifixion. Yeah. And as Jesus is being nailed to the cross by his creation, he's the creator in my creation.

He's praying to Father, forgive them for they don't know what they're doing. And it's like if you can forgive in that moment, then whatever I'm going through, absolutely, pales and compares to what it would feel like in that moment, who actually, you know, want to forgive those people. And I think really that just humbles me to the extent

of it, you know, it's not the end of the world, it's not that big of a deal. I can forgive them if Jesus can forgive those. And he commands us and he really wants us to forgive those. I think that we can look at that. And I think that that can really help us. That's a good thing. I love it. All right.

Now, this is a really good question. And I actually think we can both speak to this which should be powerful for guys and girls listening. So somebody asks, hey, say, don't know if you're going to see this. Gotcha, but it's relating to my essay above, LL. And we're not going off of the essay above, but she was kind of talking about the call of God and different things in her life. And we can talk about the call of God and a different one because so many people ask about the call of God.

But she was asking about, so I just want to know how you've grown your relationship with food and your body image since you had an eating disorder a long time ago. So here's what I want to say to that because I do think, you know, I talked about the time but I don't really talk about that much anymore. And to be honest, like now, I'm in like the best place I've ever been with my body, with my heart, with my body image, all of the different things. And it's kind of sad because sometimes, you know, you're going through something when you're going through it, you're talking about it, but then when you overcome it, you don't talk about it as much.

But hey, God be the glory because I feel like he really brought me out of that. And kind of what Christian said a second ago, like anytime you fix your eyes on Jesus, because he's the author and the perfector of faith, it does transform your life and it transform your vision and transforms everything about you. And, you know, honestly, and every eating disorder is different. Some people's eating disorder is totally for a different reason than my own. I can only speak to my own experience. For me, I honestly was just thinking about myself too much.

I was so focused on what I looked like. I was so focused on what everybody else looked like in comparison to what I looked like. I wanted to make sure my legs were the smallest and my waist was the smallest and all of these things and I never felt like it was and every time I listened to the mirror, I felt like I needed to achieve something more. And so I would go out and I would run more or walk more

or whatever and eat less or whatever. And a lot of it came from words that people spoke over me that I'll just let sink straight to my heart. I did a little modeling and some of the things that the photographers would say or some of the things that the guy I was dating would say would just make me feel like I wasn't enough,

but yet there was a goal that I could reach that would have made me enough. And maybe that's a lot that you believe. You know, I think you have to find the root of the lie, I think for me was that I'm not there yet, but I can be if I keep going in this direction. And the truth is, going in that direction was just like killing me. Like it wasn't good for my body, but it especially wasn't good for my mind and my soul and my spirit. And I feel like when I look back at that time, although I wanted to look a certain way, and I could really strive to be that certain way,

I look back at that time and like, my memory is like that. And suddenly the things I was doing because I was so focused on myself as things around me. And so taking that distraction out of my life and how I overcame that was literally, like I got so tired of it, like I got on my face

and I was like God, like just renew my mind, God, like make me new. And it was a daily decision to like, just not think about myself so much, like just work out because I wanna work out or eat this because that's what I wanna eat and it's good for my body and it nourishes my body. Then get enough, you know.

And to be honest, I have gained a lot of weight since that time, but I couldn't feel more confident or be in a more healthy space because I know now that I am enough exactly where I'm at. Not only am I enough exactly where I feel like I'm the person that God created me to be. This is the healthiest version of me. Does it look like other people? No. In comparison, other people, is it the same?

Does it measure up in a worldly standard? Maybe not, but to me, it's the perfect way that God made me. And I think for you, that's what you have to think about, that you're not gonna reach a certain point, that's gonna make you maybe a better version of yourself by doing it in a negative way. You're going to reach a better place that makes you a better version of yourself whenever you seek the Lord and the Creator who created you and find your full identity in Him.

And guess what? It's not going to look like anybody else. So you can't compare it to the left of the right, or it's not going to become better. You have to look within and ask the Lord to just give you a vision for that. And daily make decisions that aren't negative, but that are positive for you and your body. And I know that's a lot, and that's a mouthful.

And I've never really thought, I've never really put together an answer for that. So that's just like the honest truth about like, from the place of my heart to you. If I was like sitting with you and you just randomly asking that question at a coffee shop, that would be what I would say. But honestly, Christian, I've had a lot of conversation about this because when we started dating, I shared with him that I used to struggle with that and I was like, I don't want to go

back. But I'm just telling you this because I'm sensitive to different things that people say. And so like, don't ever say anything negative about my body. Not that he ever would. He wouldn't, but people have that I'd date in the past. And I'm like, it doesn't send me in a good direction. But Christian would never, but Christian would never share with them. I was so shocked because he was like, oh, I totally understand where you're coming from.

And so baby, if you want to share any. Yeah. For sure. By the way, that was amazing. So for me, I kind of went through the same thing, just for a season. Which by the way, when Christian said that he went through the same thing, I was like, really? Because I'm sitting here thinking only girls go through that.

I was like, don't even say anything about my body because I have a whole thing on that. I was just like sharing with him, I passed and he was like, oh, I totally get that. I went through the same thing and like you did? Yeah, so it was for me a few years back. I remember I got to the point where I wanted to be in such great shape and I wanted to, I mean, like I said, I just wanted to just look good and I feel like that just became so consuming

and I was always worried about what I looked like, what other thought of me, what other thought I looked like and they got to the point where I was literally like every night eating like broccoli, like grilled chicken, sweet potatoes. And I remember like in that season, some like my guy friends would go to dinner and I like wouldn't go because I had to, you know,

be on this red gym and I was working out like six or seven days a week. And it just became something that was just so consuming. And I remember one day I was about to go to the gym to work out. I was just thinking about going to the gym again and I was like, am I happy? I think that's really the question. It's like, if you're doing this, if you're falling into that, does that make you happy? And I know for me, I got to the point where I go into the gym was just miserable. I did not want to go, I did not want to keep doing

the regimen I was doing, I did not want to keep up with this facade that I was really putting up to prove myself that I could get to this point. And I just took a break from working out. I just stopped. I guess I stopped caring when it ate, but I definitely was less conscious of what I was putting in my body. And I just really kind of took a reset back and like, okay, why do I want to be in shape? Why do I want to eat healthy? And they really got to the point where I was doing it just because I enjoyed it, not because I felt like I had to to look a certain way. And just to say, like, now we both genuinely love

to work out. Like we love it. And we actually enjoy eating healthy. But the thing is, is there's freedom in it now. Like you've stood, we were like a slave to it. Like, we have to work out, we have to be healthy because we want to look a certain way and it was not even a practical version of ourself.

But now it's like, no, we love to work out, we love to be healthy because it fuels our body because we feel good because there's freedom in it, we work out when we want to, if we don't work out, we don't punish ourselves for that or anything like that. And so I think you need to realize, am I a slave to this? Or am I freely doing this because I want to do this because it's good for me or because

I have to and because of what people think. I think you need to set your intentions for why you're working out, why you're even healthy, why are doing the different things you're doing, why you're thinking about food so much, why you're thinking about working out so much, because all those really start in the mind first, you know, before it really affects the body. And so yeah, Christian, I've both experienced that. And I'll also say this, if you're going through that, like find a friend or if you're in a relationship, your husband or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or whatever, you can openly talk to that, won't shame you for the things that you're walking through because what happens

is, me and Christian say, is that a crime? It's not a crime for anybody to do this. But a lot of people would say, like, oh my gosh, like, member back then and you looked so good, like you were so in shape, like, man, like, I've never seen you so skinny or so fit or like, remember what your abs looked like? And they like send you back to the past and they don't know what you were going through during that time. They're innocently saying that and then you'll be like, oh yeah, ha ha ha, back then.

And the only thing you can think I was like the negative place you were in, I think it's so good for you to be with a person that you can say like, hey, actually no, you look so much better now. You like so much better now that you're in this space and you're this, I would take this person over that person any day Because of the heart that you have and you look great and those type of things that you can just encourage people because other people Don't know you they don't know what you're going through that on your heart So they're just innocently saying it but for you to know somebody's heart and you know somebody's mind and you'd be able to protect that and

Show that with them so powerful Ecclesiastes as are better than one, right? And so I think that's the same. That's what it's really saying in these type of situations. Like two are better than one because we get to speak into each other's life from the truth that we know when sometimes truth can be fogged when somebody speaks a word over your mind

that you don't really wanna let in. That wasn't even bad to say, but can send you down a negative spiral. And so, find a friend, open up, share. I have a friend who will call me if she's going backwards. And I have my friends who I will call when I'm going backwards and just have those people that you know you can talk to whenever you're

in a negative headspace that will bring you back to truth. I'm not just like pump you up, but actually bring you back to truth, you know. Yeah, that's good. Good stuff. Well, we've talked about a few different things today. We've talked about friendships and forgiveness and eating disorders. I know these are things that we all go through and just still let you know. None of us have it figured out, we're all figuring out. But we know that Jesus Christ is the way,

the truth, and the life. And we know that going through Him is how we get to the Father. And so I hope that today you like, take all these things that are your everyday struggle and bring it to the Lord, bring it to Jesus. Cause He's the way, He is to Jesus because he's the way, he is the truth, he is the life, and through him you have access to the Father, our Creator,

who's a good one. And so take all these questions, take all these feelings, bring them to God. If you're like, hey, someone hit me really hard today, I haven't been doing a ploy up to your life, let that conviction sink in. And repent. Repent is simply to turn, turn back to God. And I hope that these things encourage you today. And don't forget, next week, Mike Todd gonna be awesome. Put it on your calendar. Put it on your calendar, next Wednesday, guys. April, the 29th, 2020.

Mike, Todd, let's go. All right, bye, guys. Love y'all. you