WHOA That's Good Podcast - Are Your Friends Pushing You Closer to Christ? | Sadie Robertson Huff | Sisters & Friends
Episode Date: October 3, 2022Sadie is so excited to chat with her sister AND friend, Mary Kate Robertson! Mary Kate talks about getting married young to John Luke and encourages anyone struggling to form good friendships. Sadie r...eminds us you'll never regret inviting someone to do something — don't overthink it, an invite can go a long way! They both talk about the worry that can come after you finish college and why comparison is the enemy in any area or season of your life. And how do you know when you're ready to have kids? Plus, Mary Kate drops some wisdom for young moms who might be feeling particularly anxious right now. She also highlights why kids can illuminate how much we need God and how powerful prayer can be, not just in your life, but as you cover your family in prayer every day. https://nativedeo.com/whoa — Get 20% OFF your first order with code WHOA! https://give.cru.org/sadie or text SADIE to 71326 — Get a free copy of Sadie's book "Live on Purpose" with your gift! https://masterclass.com/WHOA — Get unlimited access & 15% OFF your annual membership! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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What's up, sisters and friends, happy Monday everybody.
Y'all, I am so excited for this Monday.
I'm so excited to kickstart your week with my sister and friend Mary K.
Mary K. Rob is an influencer to all of y'all.
She's a friend to me and y'allson and the best questions for me to ask her.
We literally had to pick 10 out of hundreds.
So I'm so thankful that she's someone
that y'all wanna seek her wisdom
and I'm so thankful she said yes to being on this pie gas
and so excited for the conversation we're gonna have.
So without further ado, welcome to the pie gas,
we're getting, thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm super excited about it.
I can't believe this is your first time on the podcast,
but it's the perfect time.
It is the right time.
It is, I feel it too.
I know, I'm so glad we started sisters and friends.
So we can do stuff like this.
And this is like the ultimate your message
for your friends.
So this literally is.
I know, you make the most sense to be on this podcast.
Well, like I said, we took this to Instagram
and make it, I didn't even
show you but like aviscreen recording of how many questions we got asked. So my
team went through and picked about 20 and then I can dissent to 10 and I felt
like these just really are questions that you can nail because this is who you
are and who you naturally are and live your life. But the first question is
funny and it says how long have you been sitting knowing each other and how did you on meet?
Yeah, I was trying to think today,
like what year that event was.
I feel like it's going on like, yeah.
Close to two in a year.
It's gotta be, because we met in high school.
We met in high school.
Yep, which I don't know if you remember
how we really became friends.
Hi, too.
Very good, I have a good friends
in the most amazing way a friendship can form in the middle of a dance circle.
Yeah, we were both doing the doggy.
We were doing the doggy.
This was before TikTok was even like, I think we were just doing it for the heck of it.
We were doing the best thing.
No.
We were just getting the doggy.
We were.
And not all the people were getting the doggy.
Okay, the doggy was a thing.
I thought everybody could hit it.
I mean, a very cute doggy.
And we did.
Yeah, the doggy did teach me how to do that.
And I was like, this girl got swelled. He did teach me how to do that.
And I was like, this girl got swelled.
That was so fun.
It was so fun.
So that was literally like probably 2013.
Yeah, we were going to that Taylor Swift concert.
Taylor Swift concert.
Yes.
And I still regret wearing Chevron.
I was wearing this massive Chevron dress.
Chevron.
Thank you.
It was like the trend of the year.
Everybody was wearing Shea-Bron.
And I even wasn't like crazy about it the whole year.
I was like, okay, this is happening.
I'm seeing the trend of don't think I'm going to commit.
And then Taylor Swift was like, boom.
It was like my Shea-Bron moment.
It was like the biggest Shea-Bron pattern red.
And now your picture with Taylor Swift.
It is my Vondress.
That is Shea-Bron.
You know what?
Taylor Swift did tell me my dress was epic, but I think she was like, she was like,
hindsight 2020. So we met there and we were really close in high school. We literally,
so that was before me and John Lake were dating. Yes, before we were really close. We spent
the night together. Remember like every Wednesday and Friday, because I would say with
you all after games, because you all lived closer to the school. You would say
of me after like Bible study at our house and we were we I already had a pint
of ice cream at y'all's house with my name on it. I remember it. I do remember that.
That was how close you were. And man what we watched Grace and now to me together
watch naked and afraid. That was a very interesting show choices. See how we were just really good high school friends and then you and
Jen like started dating on the what was it is a March. I actually got it it
isn't every year now we celebrate the it is a March. So you and Jen like started
dating and that was crazy because you're one of my best friends. You started dating my brother
Yeah, like the series of cool story that you always hear and I remember it was funny because remember my dad was like
Was my dad was it you were Kelly that he's like
In ladies spending the night with us for the last year to yeah, everyone's a night and now like you're dating generally. Yeah. It was like such a crazy moment. But a lot of people asked how
you in Jelling met. So we can also go there. Yeah. We met at Summer Camp, which is
ironic since now, which I'm like obviously runs a summer camp, but I think
that was even just the Lord working. You know, just already. Like the fact that we
met at a summer camp and now that's like one of his jobs. Yeah. So we met when we were, I guess we were 15. Yeah, you all remember that.
We met a while before y'all started dating. Yeah, we did. So we met before you even came to our
school, right? Yeah, yeah. Y'all met at that summer camp. We met summer camp and then
there's like a summer camp. But we didn't date until a couple years later. Yeah. And you and I
became friends in the meantime. But it was funny because the first I'd ever heard of you,
him and I were on like this survivor day team
and we were doing wall sets.
Oh, yeah, we were both selected.
Like, I was a girl from my team
and he was a boy from my team
and that was like one of our first conversations
or literally on a wall.
That is doing wall sets together.
I don't even remember if we won or what,
but we were like, let's talk and get our minds off the pain.
And so the first thing I said was like,
so like tell me about your family.
Like, do you have any siblings?
And he was like, oh, I have a sister named Sadie.
And so that was like the first I'd ever heard of you.
And so that was like the start of our relationship.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's so crazy.
And then I remember when y'all came to our school,
because we were just small school.
Everybody was like, who are the new girls?
And we ever thought you were so beautiful.
And everyone thought you were like the coolest person ever.
Oh my god.
Because you had like, I don't know if you had a perm,
but you're like just waving here.
Well, everybody thought it was very cool.
You were rocking your perm.
And your outfits were so cool
and you were like the new cool girl at school.
And then your sister shattering me
because she was in my bed.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
She was just so funny.
So we're all good friends.
And then how did you like break out of the friend zone
with you?
Or not even friend zone.
It's my sister's friend zone.
It's a whole different ball game.
I literally have to think about it even remember.
I can't even remember how that happened.
It was just all the sudden y'all were together.
I think I said something to you.
I think I was like, I don't know.
I just was like not really,
just seeing John Luke as a friend.
And then one day I was, I think I told you,
I was like, I think I actually like John Luke.
And you're like,
Mary Kate, he's liked you for however long.
I kind of just gave up.
Cause you kept, I mean, I was like hard friends
owning him.
Yes.
I remember one time he was, he rode to church with me
and we were just going as like friends
and he literally like,
do you remember me telling him?
No, but I can totally see this.
I know, it's even funnier.
But it's like, he literally like reaches over
to like grab my hand and like he grabs my hand and I just
No
I'm not like the way I'm the bag and put it in my life
No I hate to judge ever discuss this after and this was just like a one time thing
I think like I mean after we got there I think we'd be like last time ever what a bold move
From both the balls I know a bold move to grab the hand in a very bold move
to slip that hand right.
I'm surprised that I pointed to the hand.
But I was like very hard friends owning him.
And then finally I was like,
I think it was when he finally kind of stopped pursuing me.
I was like, oh wait.
I think I actually did like that.
I can still like him.
I do remember that.
And I remember being on a plane,
we're all going somewhere.
And it was on March 15th, I think. And I. I do remember that. And I remember being on a plane, we're all going somewhere. Yes.
And it was on March 50th.
Yeah.
And I think I just said,
sorry, all dating.
Yes.
And then you know, we're like,
well, I guess.
I guess.
And I was like, it's official.
So I pretty much put that statement.
I think you did.
I think you did.
You pushed it towards the light.
I did.
I just knew it needed to happen.
And then y'all got engaged.
We didn't marry shortly after.
So that was March. I had to march. We started dating then y'all got engaged. We didn't marry shortly after so that was March
I'd March we started dating and then we got engaged in October. Yeah, his 19th birthday
It's crazy. I'm saying as well. That was insane. I think night. Yeah
That was when I was on dance with the stars. Yeah me and Derek cuff because it was it happened to be switched up
Week yeah, and Derek came back with me and we came for the engagement party and it was like so crazy.
It was like, why is Derek happy?
I don't even remember him being there.
That is so funny.
I don't think I even knew that.
I don't think I can be the kind of the party.
But he was like, he was in Monroe with me.
We were proud to see every day at the Wellness Center gym.
Oh, that's funny.
Because I was like, I have to be there for their engagement.
And I was just so excited.
So that's crazy.
It is so cool. So a lot of girls who listen to the podcast,
we have all different age ranges.
But a lot of them are in college.
And a couple of girls to end some college questions
that I thought we should cover,
because you and John Luke got married really young,
and which we're going to talk about that too.
But they know what to college together.
Yeah.
So you were a previously in college
because you're your older in school, but then you
all went to college together.
And I know that was a hard season in some ways.
But someone asked, what advice do you have for college girls in general and how do you combat
spiritual warfare while in college?
Which I thought was a really big and specific question.
And I'm glad that this person sees it for what it is.
A spiritual warfare.
Because I think a lot of times you can just see things at a at a surfacey level and she said no this is spiritual warfare. So can you remember back
when you all went to college having some of that and experiencing some of that? It's funny because
like reading that question I was like I don't even think that was super on my radar. Like in college
and I do remember reading Priscilla Shire's book. You remember when we read that? Yeah and I feel like
that was kind of like that was kind of
giving me an idea of like, okay, there are things going on. But I feel like the biggest thing for me
in college was just the friends that I was making. Yeah. And just realizing like it really matters
to you hang out with. And like, you know, they say like you're the sum of the, what is it? Like seven
people that you hang around. And looking back in college, like, man, I just had
like the greatest friends. And I feel like that shaped so much
a few I even am today, you know, and that's happening when
you're you're young, 18, 22 years old, like, but already just
so important to be making those. Yeah, just like my new
friendships that people who are going to push you closer to Christ
and not, that's going to drag you in an opposite direction.
Yeah, it can very easily, you know, you can make your decision
in a nationally and college.
When you get to college, yeah.
That's such great advice because I think a lot of times
like when people go to college,
you're so desperate for friendship.
And you're almost willing to be with whoever will accept you.
Yeah.
But it is so important, especially in college, that you don't just go with the
crowd that accepts you, but you really stand for firm and who you are and what you believe.
And then you let God bring that, those friendships naturally together.
And I was actually just at lunch with a friend today in my time at college.
And she said, you know, it was the first time that I made such good friends and so many friends
by being naturally just who I was afraid to be. And I think there's just such a temptation there
to not be that and to create, you know, a false image of who you want me to think. But then you get
stuck in four years of, yeah, built on something that's not even true. And I've also seen people walk
through that. But y'all did have the best friends in college.
And they're so similar to Y'all too.
How did you, did you like when you first moved
or did you start meeting people or are it a take a while?
Well, it was so, it was definitely weird for us
because we had just come from Doug Dynasty.
And so that was like, just kind of a weird,
I feel like it took us a little while to like make friends
because I don't know if people were just kind of like weird around this.
I'm just really weird.
They did.
I was calling mom one day and saying I felt like wild animals.
It was so sad.
I remember that exact.
It said people like looked at you all like y'all were just so different.
Yeah.
And y'all are just two people who literally needed her and so.
Yeah.
And we like, we did and we needed friends and so I feel like it took a little while.
And that's even some advice I think I would give
is like the friends you meet immediately,
it's okay if like you have different friends,
it might take you a little while to make the friends.
But I remember some of our friends,
it was just a funny, because some people,
either they'd come up to us and like wanted a picture with us
or they would just like not wanna come up to us and like wanted a picture with this or they would just like not want to come up to us because they didn't want
to seem weird. But then it was just they weren't coming up to us.
And then you're like, what do we do for them?
We do want to meet people. And so we finally did and just had the best.
That's awesome. Best time. I do think that that's a good point that it'll pull out
because not everybody that shows up to your campus is going to be super famous, you know?
But a lot of people on campus, like I think people have like a misunderstanding of who they are,
you know? Or a false perspective. And it's just always good. I always say you can never
regret, regret like inviting someone to do something. Like it's never going to go wrong.
Like an invite, even if they say no, is like it always goes such a long way.
Yeah, it's a nice day. And so people overthink if they're like,
well, what if I invite her and then she thinks I'm weird
because she thinks I'm using her.
What if I don't invite her because then I don't want her
to seem like I'm trying to be your friend.
And it's like, so everything gets just invite them.
Yeah, just invite them to lunch and invite them
to come and hang out with them.
And that can just go such a long way.
Even if you don't become best friends,
like just to invite and just be okay is always worth it. So people also ask about Postgrad, which I was like, this is so
good because I've been talking to a couple people about Postgrad and how the college life is so fun,
but it's not necessarily set you up for real life. Super great, which is kind of ironic because
the whole thing is to set you up and be prepared for life, and it does in so many ways but then in so many other ways it does it and I
think a lot of people really struggle post-grad because they're like we like
like how do I find that people yeah how do I find that purpose how do I step into
all of this thing that I just work for years so yeah so what was post-grad like
for you just navigating coming off as such a high of being a liberty to back to Westminster? Yeah, I mean it's interesting in the fact of like I just remember getting
down with college and it's like until college like everything's kind of like laid out for you.
Like even the education system of when you're younger like you're just going from grade to grade to
grade. Like you always kind of know what's coming and you're not having to think about it or prepare.
And then you do in the sense of like okay okay, where am I gonna go to school?
Yeah.
Or if you're going to school and if you go to school,
then it's another four years.
And then all of a sudden, you're like done.
And it's like, okay, well, what now?
Yeah.
I think it's a very, it's an exciting time of life
but also kind of like intimidating.
Yeah.
Super.
Because it's not laid out.
No, it's not.
It's not. You're just kind of having to be like, okay, we'll hear it.
Here we go. And I think two to that point, it's like not only has it been laid out for
you the whole time, but everyone's also in the same season as you the whole time.
Yeah. Everyone's in first grade.
Everyone's in second. Everyone's in middle school. Everyone's in high school. Everyone's in college.
Yeah. And then it's like some people are getting their dream job.
Some people are moving back home with their parents
Some people are getting married some people are having kids
Yeah, it's so hard to not compare yourself to where other other people are in their seasons of life
Well, why did they get their dream job? And I have no idea what I want to do
Yeah, or why are they married and have a kid and I haven't dated anybody
But it's like there's nothing wrong with you because you're in a different season
Everyone has a different season and I think it just feels so dramatic because for your entire life since pre-k
You've done the same thing as everyone your age and then you hit your 20s and everyone starts doing stuff at different times
And so that comparison is like so hard to not compare yourself
But so vital that you don't compare yourself. Yes. Because you're just in a different place.
Yeah.
So you and John Luke, y'all were married this.
Y'all got to go through this whole thing together.
Yeah.
Which is so unique.
And a lot of people ask, of course, which I know you get asked this all the time.
But what was it like getting married so young?
And do you have any advice to people who are getting engaged at 19 years old?
You're like y'all did.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
I look back at pictures of us.
And I'm like, you know what, babies. I can't believe how young we were. We literally were engaged the
day, generally, I think it's the day during 19. And I had, let's just birth right.
18 and I see, like if I saw an 18 and 19 when I was getting engaged right now, I'd be like,
oh my gosh, they're so little. They're just babies. But like like we were, we were ready to make the decision and just felt like,
you know, we were doing what we wanted to do and um, and I don't know, I've always said we've just
gotten to grow up together. And I think there is like the good and the bad of that. Like it's been so
sweet. We've had, we've been married seven years. We've been married eight years.
Yeah.
Because a lot of people are age and they say,
how long they've been married, it's like two years.
Yeah, yeah.
Like seven of us, like what?
I know, I know, it's just like crazy.
And I feel like, you know, one of the pluses
was you're not having to take these two kind of like adult
lives, like my parents, their first marriage,
they got married, they were 32 and 39.
And they had very established like adult lives
that you're meshing where for us,
we were kind of getting to create that together.
And still are, like we're still only like 26,
but creating that together.
And we've had so many experiences together.
But then I do think like the hard part of that can be,
we were in 19, we had things we needed to learn
and like the growing up together,
like there's growing pains and I feel like there have been times
where you know, we were hurt by the other one over things
we just didn't know yet.
Like just learning, growing and like learning
and becoming adults and I don't know,
I think that's the only kind of looking back on it.
I feel like the only thing to be more, like I could have been more prepared for what you
can.
You can't grow it up.
You're young.
You're learning.
You're just such a growing learning time of life.
Our counselor always says, you don't know what you don't know.
Exactly.
And you don't know what you don't know.
And, you know, that's true for any stage of life.
You're entering a new stage or a new season.
You just don't know what you don't know.
And you have to give each other the grace for that.
You don't know what you don't know.
They don't know what they don't know.
And you're learning it together.
And that you both have the best intentions.
Yes, that is crucial.
Believing that you have the best intentions.
The believing that the other person isn't out to hurt you
or give you, they're literally, they love you.
And you all are just, see things differently sometimes.
And I think it's a really humbling thing,
like marriage in general.
It's really refining and humbling
because you're gonna have off moment.
You're gonna have bad days.
You're gonna have bad attitude.
You're gonna have the whole thing
in front of someone that you love.
So it's very humbling, but it's like,
it's so good for you, you know?
If you embrace it and let it happen.
And so for those getting married. Yeah, yeah
I mean we were relatively young we weren't 18 and 19 but we were 22 and
21 22 and I would say the same thing like it's just be okay with like the growth
That has to be done and the growth mains and like humble yourself to
Allow the change that has to happen both your lives.
Because a lot of changes are going to happen so fast.
And it's just humbling, but it's good.
It is.
Refining.
Refining.
And humbling and refining are things that you never want to walk through.
No, but you're self-imaging.
They're self-imaging who you are.
They're making you are.
They make your relationship what it is.
Yes.
Obviously a lot of people have questions about being a mom because you're the cutest little mom and
Sheffie and Ella are just dreams. They're just the cutest kids ever honey's best friends
They are they are they are so funny honey and Ella just for just a little behind the scenes
We're doing a photo shoot yesterday
And we were like so excited because
it keeps like, Ella's gonna do her 18 months.
Y'all should come and like, honey is a little bit crazier than Ella.
But I was like, it's gonna be great. We're gonna do it.
And we get there and honey just absolutely falls apart.
But it was so funny because then Ella starts crying.
And we're like, why is Ella crying?
Because it's kind of rare that Ella gets upset.
And Ella just wanted Christian to hold her. Ella starts crying and we're like, why is Ella crying? Because it's kind of rare that Ella gets upset.
And Ella just wanted Christian to hold her.
And we were like, Christian.
She literally was just pointing to Christian
and like wanting to go see her.
I was so funny.
I was so, I was like,
these kids are just hilarious.
They are.
They just make life so sweet.
So whenever y'all, did y'all know y'all were like ready
to have kids?
Is that something that y'all felt like prepared for?
Or were all just like, okay, it's time?
Yeah, we just, I don't know.
I just felt like when it comes to at least in my experience,
I feel like that just desire to have a baby.
And then another baby is just such a God-given.
Yeah.
Because I feel like it just comes on so strong.
I don't know where, at least that's been the case for me
with both of mine, especially with Ella.
I just remember being like,
you definitely don't want another one yet.
And then all of a sudden the next month,
I'm like, okay, I really like another one.
I think that would be awesome.
I think that would be awesome.
I'm kind of fine.
But then also the, of just kind of being like,
I just remember with John Chapar,
I was like, okay, I feel ready.
And she's like, I feel ready.
And we're like, let's just see what happens.
Like, let's just put in God's hands
and just see what happens.
And then, where we do it.
It's the perfect time, yeah.
It's so sweet.
Oh my gosh.
So what advice do you have for young moms?
Or at moms of all ages?
Because I don't think it matters if you're younger or old.
Having a baby is, continue for a doozy sometimes.
I'm like, woo, the whole life just changed.
Yeah.
But it's the best thing ever.
It's just crazy.
What some advice you give to moms out there who are in the littles?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like, I don't know,
one of the biggest things I learned this year
in regards to like my kids,
my role as a mother,
and then my role also as a wife was just like the power of prayer.
And I just feel like if kids will show you anything,
it'll show you.
I need you, I need you.
Like I need you, I'm relying on you. I'm
dependent on you. And one thing that my counselor told me last year and this
was just so life-changing I feel like for me. I was telling her some
problem I was having with John Shepherd like some behavioral problem and I
was just kind of like I don't know what to do because it's funny until you have kids
you're like I know that we've got to be consistent but then it comes down you're like consistent with what?
Yeah, how do you do that? Like what do I do? Like what I even be consistent with you know when it comes to actually like
training and discipline and and I was talking about this with my counselor and
I was like it's just there's so many moments where I'm like I could do this I could do that and like I just don't know
What's best for him in that moment and I was was asking like, what parenting books would you recommend?
And she did give me one that was really good.
But she also said, Marika, the one person who's going to know what you should do in every
single moment is God.
And you have access to him.
Every single time you need to discipline, every single time you don't know what to do, literally
just ask him.
And that was just such a like, precious was like, how would they ever thought about that?
Yeah.
You know, like literally like he knows exactly
what John Shepherd needs right now.
He knows exactly what Ellen needs.
Like sometimes I might need a little like time out,
sometimes I might need a hug.
You know, and sometimes I just don't know
and just really saying the power of prayer.
That's so good.
I think also seeing like that verse
has just kind of come to life of talks about, I think
in Proverbs, a woman has the power to tear down or build up her house. And it's just
like the mind blowing me into power of a woman that she holds within her family. And I
think when you realize that, you realize just how vital you are as a mom and how it's
no small role, it's no, you're
like even as some days it looks like maybe just changing diapers or cleaning up a high
chair for the millionth time, like, it's important and like your role in their life is just
like so important and just, even just my role in like praying over them and praying for my kids,
like my prayers as like a wife and mother, they're gonna hold more than anyone else's prayers for my kids.
And my husband you know and so really covering them so good.
Every day and asking God like every day.
Gosh I love that.
What today?
What a great gosh what a great verse to it so like sobering of a verse to be like
you could tear down your house.
You could build up your house.
And I don't think it's mutual.
No, you're either to want to do it or the other way.
We're not just doing it.
That's so true, but that you really can build your house up.
You really can.
And it's not all on you.
Like, it's God through you.
And then so true, the power of prayer,
it's a family self already, like,
remembering that too of like, oh, I need a pray.
Like, I'll pray for honey all the time, but not pray like for her attitude sometimes, you know, and then like oh, I can pray
I'm like Lord like help her like calmer spirit
You know just stuff like that like God like help me to calm her in these moments
Which we get so worked up and then I'm like wow like you're teaching me how to do that
You know because I pray for her in these big things and I pray for in these sweet little prayers
But then I'm like how do I pray for her in every day moments and I pray for her in these sweet little prayers. But then I'm like, how do I pray for her
in every day moments?
Like I pray for myself to give me patience,
give me peace, it's like God totally.
And it's so cool because then at the end of the day
when I thank God for her, I'm like,
God, thank you for the joy she carried today.
Like it was so sweet and like the peace
that you gave her in these moments.
And like, and then it's just so cool
because you can see God already working through them.
And I'm like, that is just the coolest thing ever.
And like the fruit of who God is, like love, joy, peace,
all these things, it's like, that's not something
that just has to be like said.
It's how like people live.
And so like already seeing the fruit of God,
like on her life, like the love that she gives
and like the peace that she has sometimes
and the joy that she carries.
I'm like, that's Jesus in you.
Like it's just the sweetest thing ever.
Gosh, I love that.
You are such a mom that I'll look up to.
You've just parented your kids so well.
You really do such a good job with them.
And it shows.
And I know kids are kids and kids will be kids.
And you know, they're gonna be crazy,
but you've done such a good job with them.
One question someone had that I was like,
yes, we gotta answer this question.
So I said, how do you you or do you have any advice about just like not comparing yourself
to other moms, which I, that was really hard for me.
And it wasn't the way that I thought.
Like, I was comparing myself in the way of like breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, what
they breastfed.
So, I should do this because that's the best way to do it, but then like, it wasn't working
for me.
So, then I was like, I felt guilty for not breastfeeding
because like my friends were breastfeeding.
I was like comparing myself and those things
and like experiencing like the mom guilt
because of my comparison.
And but I know that like everybody has it different.
Like you might compare yourself in other ways.
But do you have any advice for just like not comparing
yourself to other moms?
Because I know that can be so hard for everybody.
Yeah. Well, I heard, I think it was Lisa Tercers and I think it's actually like,
it's a verse but it talks about and it's a verse in like the passion translation or something
a little different but it basically says like do the creative best with what you've got.
And she shared that and then talked about the image that she gave was this, I think it was a violinist was
orchestring or something right before they were supposed to perform and they just
did it anyway with what they had and they just kind of made it work and did, you
know, and I just, I have thought about that. I think that's one of the best
pieces of advice and life I've ever been given because we are all so different.
Like every person's different.
Our strengths, our weaknesses, our situations,
like every marriage is different.
Every family's different.
And like we just, there is literally no point in comparing
ourselves to one another because I feel like the older I've gotten
the more I've realized like, okay, our family's going to be different
because we're two different people.
And there's no point in comparing that because honestly,
there's just too much at stake.
You know, I just see my kids and I'm like,
we're gonna invest with what we've got.
Like, and there's different seasons where things may be,
I don't know, more difficult than others.
And you should, I think that's what God asked of us.
It's just taking what He's given us.
You know, He draws our boundary lines. He knows where we've got where we are. It's sort of like that is the most overlit thing that God
draws your boundaries. He does. He does. He does. So true. And like to me that just gives you so much
freedom to know that like God draws this boundary line. That's why I have a wave tattoo on the arm
because it talks about how the sand is literally a boundary line for the ocean.
Like, it talks about that in germine. Like, that is crazy. Like, God would even set a boundary for something so huge and so massive.
But yet, there is a boundary that it will not pass. And it's like thinking about the end life.
Doesn't that just bring you so much security? And just that you can equip you.
Yes. What he's got for you, like, totally.
He's going to give you exactly what you need. Yes. He's got for you, like totally. He's gonna give you exactly what you need.
Totally.
For your kids, your family.
It's good.
Like in your house.
You're your best with stewarding it.
Yeah.
And he made you to do it.
Yeah.
It's so cool, because me, you and Rebecca
all had baby girls the same year.
And what's really cool is like I never found myself
like comparing myself to the two of y'all.
And what was really cool was like the three of us
parent differently.
And we have different families, we have different ways of life.
But we've all really true to each other on and that.
And I think it's really sweet.
And I think one reason I didn't compare myself to y'all
and I might have compared myself to other people in life
is y'all never put any pressure on me to do what y'all did.
And y'all encouraged me.
And you're like, hey, this is what I did.
That was helpful about Astor. But it wasn't like you have you all did. And like, you all encouraged me and you're like, hey, this is what I did that was helpful about Astor.
This is what it was.
But it wasn't like you have to do this.
And yeah, I actually had one of my friends text me
after she'll probably listen to this podcast
and she's gonna text me and be like,
oh no, you're talking about me,
but she texts me after and she was like,
hey, I'm so sorry if I ever put any pressure on you
to like breastfeed like we did.
And I'm sorry if I put any pressure on you
to have like a natural birth like I did. Because like she had just I'm sorry about putting pressure on you to to have like a natural
birth like I did because like she had just said so much about those things I feel like I need to do
that and I just said thank you so much for saying this I was like you didn't mean to do that but I
I did kind of compare myself to her and felt like I needed to do it this way I need to do it that way
and at the end of the day like my body was not doing that.
And I would have put meat and honey at risk if I would have done it that way. And with breastfeeding,
it just wasn't happening. And so I just saw like real fast. And I remember like in the hospital
after having honey after feeling that I had the smooth with the Lord. And I was just like, I know
Lord, like you're just telling me this right now, as a lesson from my whole entire life and
parenting, like not to look to the right. Like you lesson from a whole entire life and parenting, like not to let you left with the right.
Like, you've equipped me to be the mom that I'm going to be a honey.
You've built me to birth her.
You've built me to be her mom and you're going to equip me to do it.
And like, our journey is not going to be based on like what are the day to,
what are they do?
It's like, what do you have for us?
And so I just love that you're saying that because I experienced that literally in the hospital.
And I'm so glad, though, that God began to like prune that in my life and really get that out of me
Just literally laying in the hospital bed after having honey. I think honey was you know actually in the nursery
And I was pumping and I was like having this moment with the Lord and I was just like okay like this is so good
I'm so glad I'm getting this now and not years later because I know like comparing yourself
can affect everything in your life.
And you don't think it is.
You think it's just a mental thing.
It's just affecting you, but it affects everything around you.
And so, so good, Mary Kate.
Okay, let's see.
So, any questions?
Okay.
Okay, so once a, what advice would you give to someone
who is trying to grow their relationship with the Lord?
Great question.
That is a great question.
I remember like probably two years ago, at this time, I had this friend of mine and just
after, I mean, just knowing her, but then after every conversation, I would just always
leave our phone calls and I was like, there is just deeper with God.
And like, I just feel like I'm not there.
And like, how do you get there?
And like, how do you get to this deeper?
And I just remember like praying
and just asking God, like, take me deeper.
Like, I so desire to go deeper with you
and know you on a deeper level.
And I feel like he brought me there.
And he, like, he will so faithfully do that.
But it was through
So much heartache. That's good as so much suffering and like looking back at times in my life
I feel like I went deeper with God it was through that and not to like scare anyone saying that but
even just the the goodness of that of like
We're all gonna go through really hard things. We're all gonna go through heartbreaking, devastating things.
That's just life.
And we can do it with them or without them.
And I just remember like inviting God into that last year
and just seeing him work.
And just seeing his faithfulness of like,
Lord, I want to go deeper with you and him meeting me deeper,
meeting me in these really difficult moments.
And I never once felt abandoned by him or forsaken by him. And that was in such a vulnerable time of
life. And I don't know. It's just I look back on it. I'm so grateful for it. And like even so grateful
for the pain of that because it brought me closer to him. It's good. And I think to, like, during that time,
one of the books that I read was a John Eldridge book,
it was called Walking with God.
But I think one of the biggest things I learned last year,
and you don't have to learn this through suffering,
you don't have to learn that you can start literally any day,
but it's just that God will talk to you.
And he will speak to you.
And, like, you can ask him every single day for things.
And I felt like
that book was just a really good press to go kind of you know teaches you through like okay what do
you even ask him what do you how do you do how do you yes and I feel like just learning that last
year and in going into parenting like I said that it's like asking questions about that and then
praying for one of the things I prayed for was just like strategies of wisdom. And I pray for that like every day of just God, show me, give me wisdom, give me
very practical. What do you want for me for this day? I love that. Wisdom is one of the most
powerful things I think you can pray for. And I think we saw in the Bible, oh, who was Solomon,
when I prayed for wisdom. That was the thing he asked God for and God gave it
So we know like God loves to give wisdom to people
And I remember on my like it was like 18th or 19th probably 19th birthday. I was at a church service and
The pastor was like talking about asking God for wisdom
They say like the younger you are like the better like to start asking God for wisdom
And I did and I truly believe that like so many of the things
that I've been able to do, I'm like, I would not have been able
to do unless like the Lord specifically gave me wisdom
beyond my years to do it.
And parenting is such a thing for that like asking God
for the wisdom in those little moments.
What to do?
Asking Him for grace, you know, in the moments to have wisdom,
have enough wisdom to do the right thing.
And it's so true about going deeper with God,
like being a lot of times in the harder moments,
but I made me think about how like,
you know, we all love these like mountaintop moments of life,
but like it's in the valley where it says,
even in the valley of the shadow of death,
like fear no evil,
grind with you from our rod and my sap they comfort you.
And so I think it's like in those valley moments,
you feel God so near because like one,
He promises He's there.
And two, like his run and stuff come for you.
They guide you just like a shepherd went to the sheep.
And when you see like videos of sheep falling there,
shepherd, it's like the coolest thing ever that God
compares us to that so often.
And so I think God's presence is just so known in the valley
because you're at the end of yourself.
Like you need that comforter. And the mountain tops are great, but it's the valley that you really made with,
you know, and that's the valley that you really feel, that nearness and that closeness with
him. So I totally agree. I have experience that in my life so many times, and it's not
that God's not there in the great moments. God's here too, and there are incredible
months to be shared with the Lord, but there's just such an evidence of his nearness
when you're in those, in those tough seasons of life,
if you invite him into it.
Yeah.
Someone said how to grow in faith
and maintain an intimate relationship
with the Lord while raising little ones.
And I was just talking to someone about this today
because it said like each stage of life,
I feel like you also like,
you kind of have to relearn like,
okay God, like what does our relationship look like in this stage? Because when you're single, you know, like you have all the time of have to relearn like, okay, God, like what does Arles should look like in this stage?
Because when you're single, you know, like,
you have all the time in the world to just sit with the Lord.
And like, not to say it's so not hard because you stuff to make time to like be,
you know, specific about when you're going to sit with him,
what you're going to talk to him, praying, that kind of stuff.
But then whenever you're married, it's a little bit harder.
Cause you're like, okay, you have everything.
I have my thing, how do we come together?
Okay, this is going to be God. And then when little bit harder. You're like, okay, you have everything. You have my thing. How do we come together? Okay, this is gonna be good.
Then when you have kids, you're like,
when the heck do I like it?
You know, it spins out with the Lord.
And so, what's that looks like for you?
I know I've been loving seeing on Instagram.
You've been establishing more of a routine.
And what's that look like on it?
Yeah, I feel like for me, it's just been
just so much being in the Word.
And I know that's like our whole goal. We know we need to do it, but I think for me, it literally took been so much being in the word. And another that's our whole goal,
we know we need to do it, but I think for me,
it literally took the Lord getting me to this place
of like, just like I said, just such an eye-medium.
I literally need you.
I need you more than anything else right now.
I need you more than my cup of coffee right now.
So I think realizing that need,
he'll bring you there. He can bring you to that place of like,
okay, I really need you.
And then in that, just I try to make sure,
you know, I'm just up, like I really try to be up
before my kids, which I know is a goal.
And sometimes like, like in the newborn days,
that wasn't gonna happen.
Yeah, I was already up all night,
and I'm gonna be so grace.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
I was gonna say, it's just grace, grace of like,
God's gentle with you.
He's gonna be gentle with you.
He's not demanding this.
And he's not mad at you for not.
Like, he's gonna be gentle.
And he is not defined to a quiet time.
God's in the 21st, 7th.
Man, God is with you when you're rocking that baby
in there crying for two hours,
and you're like, all of a sudden seeing worship songs.
Like, that's like, I think that's a moment with the world. Like it doesn't have to be like just
by yourself with your cover coffee with your Bible out. I don't have to perfect. No, and I think like
one time I felt like I was disappointed in me because I wasn't creating that space for like just
me and him. Then I'm like no, God's not disappointed. Like, that whole life is live for him. Like, I'm disappointed on an expectation that I put on myself.
But God didn't even put on me, you know?
And like, God is in it all.
I don't know if you can't establish routines to help, like, beautiful.
I think that does help.
And I think being your word is so important.
Gosh, I feel like the Lord's spoken to me this morning.
It's so convicting that even so this.
And I was like, I remember a fellow of the Lord is so convicting that even so this and I was like
I feel like the Lord says something and you're like, did I hear that?
Yeah, I didn't hear that right. Oh, yeah, he's you're like, woo, but it was so true
I was literally like I was going from sermon to sermon to sermon on my YouTube like the past couple days
I've just been like trying to find a sermon that would just like speak to me
And I just kind of been like in a bowl and it's not the sermons fault, right?
Yeah, I know that so I've just kind of been like in a role and it's not the sermon's fault, right?
And I know that.
So I've just been like skipping around.
And then today I was just like,
has just been like discontent with like,
what I've been learning from like,
because I haven't been learning a lot.
Like we have like a love to learn.
So I'm like going through and I felt like
the Lord literally spoke to me and he said,
you are trying to hear what everyone else has heard from me
and have it set and heard for yourself.
And I was like, whoa, I'm trying to hear
what everyone else is reading.
I'm trying to hear what everybody else is hearing.
I had it made time to read for myself,
to hear for myself.
And that's where my discontinuity was coming from,
not because these sermons aren't incredible
and their revelation's amazing.
It's because I need to sit with the Lord and hear what
God's saying to me and I need to get in the Word and I need to read it. That's
active and alive to get messed up. And I was like, oh man, you know, I was like,
that is so true Lord. And I was really thinking about that today and you were just
saying that like, you have to get in the Word. I'm like, it's true. Like, you can
listen to other people's sermons all day long. You can scroll and scream and read
other people's captions. And those are great, but it's not the living word. The living word is like
actually opening the pages and like reading for yourself. And those are the moments where you
know you sit here and you say in this verse and proverbs is this. And that's something that spoke
to you and it's like active and alive in this moment.
People are listening all over the world
and this podcast and going,
wow, I have the power to build up,
to tear it up because that's the word.
You know, and so it's so true.
We've said a lot of words in this podcast,
but the word that's gonna change people
are the words of scripture that we've spoken.
And hopefully the other words that we've said
are gonna move people to that.
Yeah.
Which is just so cool. Yeah. I love it. I mean, you're really
inspiring and I love that you get up early and you go on these walks and stuff.
Yeah. And for me, I'm still not a morning person, but my time is at night.
Yeah. When I'm sitting down, whenever.
Oh, me and Christian, we don't do this all the time, but when we do, we
are so fruitful. We'll just turn on worship and light a candle and just sit and both read.
And it's just so nice because someone one time told us that they always light a candle and they're quiet times
because it represents the presence of God, the fire, it's really cool.
And we've been doing that and it really is so cool.
I think I saw a candle like y'all tell us the other day, H.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I haven't like right in the middle, it's like kind of a random face for a candle.
Yeah, I know, that's why. But it's the middle. It's like kind of a random face for me. That's why it's just sweet.
It is. And I think there's so much, like, God is the ultimate source. I remember here in
this in college, I just feel like I've actually thought about this for years, but just really
experienced it this year. But like, we're all going to the same source.
Yeah. Like why not just go yourself. It's good.
It's not the same thing going through someone else.
And even me sharing a verse that meant something to you,
that is living and can change as someone else's life.
But what made it even more life-changing for me
was that I heard God speak it directly to me
and feeling God's care for me in that moment.
And that was one thing that I said earlier
about God speaking daily. That's what I was learning to pray this year.
And I would literally just sit down and I still will but I'll sit down with my
Bible just be like okay like what do you want me to read today? And I'll just sit
there and I'll just and sometimes I feel like listening to the voice of God like
it's very quiet and sometimes you might be like did I really hear him right but
like time after time.
It wasn't this, I don't feel like I've ever heard God's voice
just like audibly in my ear for anyone even just wondering.
Like what's that even as like?
But it's just like this impression of like some 138,
you know, like just, I can just fill this and then,
I'll just go and time after time it has been like exactly
it's been on my heart exactly something that's been bothering me and I feel like that's been
like the life-changing thing for me is like oh god sent that to me two days like he is involved
in this day he cares about me two days yeah that's so good it's so true because it's not audible
it's an impression in your heart and you're like, did I really hear it go up but then after after that word like permeate in you are you or you follow that voice or that prompting?
Yeah, it's like you're like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I cannot deny that I just for the Lord
And I feel like it was for me like especially when I was first wanting to hear him it was like
Did I really hear that and I was like, I'm just gonna go with it and then I'll just go with it and then so true oftentimes
There will be a
Tension right there. There will be times that you think you hear and then you go and it's like, you know
To run to me for and you're like wait, okay
I think that's something wrong the static was bad. Yeah, but no
The God's always working. He's always speaking and I've've said this before, even in times that I've been reading
and I thought, I don't think I'm getting
anything out of this.
It's months later that I go,
oh, remember when I read Second Kings,
is this analogy just comes a lot?
That's what I think that's the cool thing
about the word being asked even a lot.
Like, it breathes life and random moments.
It does tuck in you.
I'm always surprised when I'm talking to
people in scripture start coming out. I mean, I don't even know a new thing. But it's coming out in
the right moment at the right time. This is when the Lord speaks the word, his word does not return
to a void, it accomplishes what it's sent to you. And it really does. Your time with the Lord,
whether it feels mundane or whether it feels like I'm not getting anything, it always sets out to do what it's meant to do.
And it will not return to him empty handed.
Gosh, Mickey, this is so rich.
This is so good.
I'm so glad you were on this podcast.
And now I know for a fact, everyone's going to want you back, which is good because we have
like 50 hundred more, 50 hundred, that's a word.
We're going to have 50 hundred more questions to ask you.
But thank you for being just a heck of a mom that we can all look up to and learn from and
being someone who seeks the Lord and pours out your wisdom because it was encouraging to me to hear
how many just spiritual questions people had for you and it's so encouraging for me to sit down with
you and hear the things that come out of your mouth because most of those times we're literally
interrupted a million times I hitched this guy to just mouth. Because most of the time we're literally interrupted a million times a year.
The guy who just did time.
Like the good one.
In a long time.
We've segmented and interrupted by kids screaming
and being crazy and listening to,
we don't talk about Bruno and the Congo.
The Congo, 100 times.
This was great.
I'm really thankful for you.
Thanks for doing this.
Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.