WHOA That's Good Podcast - God's Plan For You Doesn't End If You Take a Wrong Turn | Korie Robertson & Erin Napier
Episode Date: June 28, 2023Korie is delighted to speak to mom, wife, artist and star of HGTV's "Home Town," Erin Napier in this episode. Erin and her husband, Ben, never set out to have a TV show, but Erin recalls how he...r blog that she started where she ONLY documented the best things that happened to her each day set the whole thing in motion. Korie and Erin both share why they love living in their hometowns and Erin talks about her latest passion project which is uniting parents who all agree their young kids shouldn't be on social media until they're grown. https://www.reliefband.com — Get 20% off plus FREE shipping with code WHOA! https://athleticgreens.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! https://LOSisterConference.com — Get tickets to the LO Sister Conference in Monroe, LA on September 8-9 https://www.naturmetic.com – Get over 40% off Naturmetic’s Starter Kit & save an extra 20% off your order with code WHOA at checkout! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi there friends, welcome to Whoa That's Good Wednesday.
I am so excited about today, I'm posting again because my sweet daughter Sadie is home
with her two baby girls and it's a really good life and I'm so grateful for it and I'm
grateful to get to be here today to talk to you and I have the funnest new friend introduced
you to. I feel like we'renest new friend introduced you to.
She, I feel like we're going to have a lot in common. She loves Jesus. She loves her family.
She loves her small town, which is a little hint as to who she is. She's an artist, an entrepreneur,
an author. She and her husband, Ben, have a Laurel Marquantile in Laurel, Mississippi. Another big
hint as to who she is. And she is the host of A.C. TV's hometown,
and hometown takeover, and all the fun things.
So welcome to the podcast, Erin, Nathier.
Thank you so much for inviting me to do this.
We have been Instagram friends for a few years.
So it's really fun to have a real face to face.
I know, yeah.
Absolutely.
Face to face in 2023, I guess. Yeah. Someday we're gonna have a real face to face. I know, yeah. Face to face in 2023, I guess. Yeah.
Someday we're gonna have a real face to face because we're not that far apart. We're
behind. I think we're like four hours away from it. We need to. You gotta come to Louisiana
or I'll come to Mississippi. We gotta make that happen. Yes. All right. Well, thanks for
being here today. I cannot wait to talk. I've actually gotten to, I've been reading your book
and preparation for our talk today. And I feel like I knew you a little bit I've actually gotten to, I've been reading your book in preparation
for our talk today. And I feel like I knew you a little bit, you know, from, of course,
from San John TV and all of that. And of course, I was getting to know you over the years.
But it's been so fun to read your book and hear more about your story. So I can't wait
for you to share that with others. But first, we start with the question that we start
with every time I'm with that's good. And that is what is the best piece of advice you have ever been given.
Okay, so I have chewed on this for weeks.
You gave me a good heads up and the one that keeps rosin to the top for me is there's
a devotional called Streams in the Desert.
I've ever read that one.
Mm-hmm.
I'll be calming. That one has saved me through some very difficult
times in my life. And one of the devotionals said that a wise
woman once said to mind the chicks that that is the best
way to live your life for God and to figure out what your
calling in life is. And this is especially relevant to us because when
Vin and I met in college we made all these plans, we said we were going to do
this, he was going to get his master's degree, he was going to be a history
professor, he was going to go to law school, I was going to design magazines and books,
we were probably gonna
live in Birmingham. We were not worried about when we would have kids. Anyway, none of that happened.
And that's because we minded the chicks. And that means God sends little whispers of hints, little
sends little whispers of hints, little taps, little...
that are easy to shrug off or easy to dismiss. But if you can mind the checks, he lets you know
when you're getting off the path,
or when you're on the right path, and you'll know it.
And we have felt or heard little checks
along the way in this whole journey.
And every good thing that we had planned for our life
was completely superseded by the great thing
that God had planned for us when we minded the checks.
So I love that so much.
That's so good.
And yeah, you had been sound a little bit like Willie and I.
We were young, when we got married,
and we had all kinds of things that we were going to do,
and from like opening a bowling alley to like,
I mean, I don't even know all the things, you know.
The dreams.
Exactly.
We could just own a bowling alley.
That's right.
You just don't know.
Like Willie's like, Willie wanted to be all kinds of things.
And we had all kinds of ideas.
And all of God's plans were way bigger and better,
including to like how many kids we're gonna have
and the order that we were gonna have them
at all those things, God's plans are always so much better.
And I love that, I love that idea.
I'm gonna remember that, mind the checks,
because it is, it's the quiet voice of God
that you have to listen to and be in tune to,
to see where he is leading you
and the things that he has put in you.
I'd love to think about our kids,
and as I've seen them grow up, you can look back,
and I know, you're getting, your kids are so young.
So you're in that phase,
but you start seeing those things that God puts in them
that is like gifts or talents
or just natural abilities that they have,
like whether they're more confident
or they're a little bit more cautious
or they're this or that.
And all those things God's placed in them.
As you see them grow up, it's so fun to see
that like, oh God put that in you from the time we're born. He had a plan for your life so early on.
And I think that the more we're aware of that, the better, the better we're.
And one of my biggest prayers is that I will recognize what those are and that I'll nurture
them the right way.
Yeah.
That's so good.
My parents were very good at nurturing creativity. Even though my dad was not what you consider a very creative person,
he was a big cheerleader for me in my creative endeavors.
Yeah. And it scared him.
It scared him.
He was like, I don't really need to go to art school.
What about architecture?
Yeah. I feel like that would be more of a safe choice, huh?
Yes. And I would be like, I promised daddy I'm going to work hard. I'm going to work hard.
And you'd be like, all right. Let's do this. And my mom was very creative. So that's where I got it
from. It all came from mama. But yeah, yeah, I hope that I'll recognize it. Those are chicks too.
Yeah, our kids are giving us chicks, but we're maybe not noticing. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, I hope that I'll recognize it. Those are checks too. Yeah, our kids are giving us checks,
but we're maybe not noticing.
Yeah, that's so good.
Yeah, and I think that a lot of young people
listen to this podcast and it's like,
I've noticed this, say, you know, I've read about this,
it's like purpose anxiety.
It's like, there's a lot of young people
to have in this like anxiety about like,
what's their purpose or what am I supposed to do
or where am I supposed to be and always say, you know,
like you just just got to take that next step. God is directing your pathies with you.
You've got to listen to him, but it's not like I'm going to like make the wrong choice and God is not going to be with me.
I'm not going to like I'm going to move to like Mississippi and God's not there because he said go here.
God is with you wherever you go, but it's that listening to his voice
creates that abundant life that he has for you.
So love that.
When you're talking about being a teenager,
being young, and that creativity that you had,
and you're a book,
you talk a little bit about feeling different as a kid,
and as a teenager,
and what was that like for you,
and what's your perspective on that now as an adult?
I think I just lived in a house with people who were so much older than me.
My brother was nine years older and then my parents and they were my best friends.
I mean that's who I spent all my time with.
And so when I went to elementary school, I just had a hard time relating to people my own age.
And so they had a hard time relating to people my own age. And so they had a hard time
relating to me too. And I was always closest to the teacher. I wanted to talk to the teachers. And
I don't know. I just, I had a hard time especially, I guess middle school, fifth grade. Is that middle
school? Fifth grade was brutal. Yeah. Middle school, fifth grade was.
Oh man, it was bad.
It was just particularly brutal.
I just didn't fit in.
By fifth grade, I felt like I was ready to move on.
I was done with elementary school.
And by ninth grade, I was done with high school
and I was ready to move on.
I've just always been older on accident.
But yeah, I don't know. My family was a little bit different, I guess, in our community.
My dad was the first doctor of physical therapy in Mississippi, one of the first, not the
very first, but one of the first. And he also was a chicken farmer. And my mom was a realtor, but she was also a writer
and a painter and people didn't pursue
that many things at once.
It was weird.
My parents were probably considered a little bit weird.
Yeah.
They didn't hang out with the other kids' parents.
Yeah.
So that was another thing that was against me, I guess.
But it was, oh, fifth grade, sixth grade two.
They were rough.
The worst, and I don't know, you know, it's not a big deal now, but when I was, I never
got invited to sleepovers.
I finally got invited to sleepover and lots of girls in my class were there.
And they were like, let's play hide and seek, you're it.
And I had to go to the girls room and count to 100.
And when I came out, they had all left.
Oh, no.
And they went to the girl across the street's house.
Yeah.
And it felt devastating as a fifth grader.
Yeah.
It was hard to, so y'all think I'm really weird
and no one wants to be with me.
I'm gonna call my mom.
And so I called my mom and she came and picked me up as every sleepover went when I was
little.
And I just, I'm worried if I'm inordinately focused on how things went for me when I'm thinking
of May and Helen now.
I don't want that to happen to them, but I also
think that it was a valuable tool and character development.
Yeah. Oh, it's so related to that feeling like for your kids, like you don't want them to
go through the hard times, but you also know those hard times are what shape you and what make you and so yeah how do you feel like that shaped you and
kind of now looking back on it how do you think that that shapes your life.
Hey y'all I'm Sadie here and I got to say stepping into postpartum again is another chance to
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It made me aware of the one who's eating alone,
which is why I fell in love with Ben in the first place.
He was hard to miss.
He's six foot six and he was 260 pounds in college.
And he is again, he has lost so much weight.
He's gotten so slim.
But you just couldn't miss him when he's in a room
because he's the big guy.
And he was the president of all these clubs.
But I had a disdain for the popular guy in high school.
That was the opposite of what I was about.
I was going to go to art school.
I wanted to play music.
And guys like that are the bad guys in all the teen movies.
But he was not.
He was different.
He would find the person that was eating alone in the cafeteria at our small community college we went to. Not so I mean there was 6000 students it was a
pretty awesome college experience for two years but he would find the person
eating alone and he would sit with them and he would be their friend he would
ask them questions he makes you feel invested in you from the first
conversation he really wants to know people.
I think that's a ministerial part of him. He grew up a preacher son and then he was in
student ministry for years, but he just wants to know people.
Yeah.
I am an introvert. I don't ask people questions. I just sort of shrink. And I would watch
him and he was always dating cheerleaders or girls on the dance team.
And I was like, I'm just not that girl.
He will never know I exist.
And I was not eating alone.
I had lots of friends.
They were the art department kids, you know, and we did your book.
But then the few times he finally, I was in a place where we spoke to each other.
We had friends in common.
I was just so nervous that I totally bombed.
He was so con.
Apparently you didn't bombed.
Apparently you did not bombed because you ended up together.
So, Cory, I bombed.
We were both getting a fountain drink at McDonald's and Ellisville, Mississippi.
And I had a friend who was eating with me and she was like,
Ehren, do you know Ben?
And I was like, I don't just know, I don't know him at all,
but I want to marry him.
He was so good.
He's so nice.
My gosh, he's so handsome.
And anyway, he was like, hey, I'm Ben.
We haven't met before. But I've seen you around campus.
And I was like, yeah, you look like a guy that I work with.
I worked in the hospital pharmacy then.
And they looked alike.
I noticed this because I had a little crush on the guy
that worked because he reminded me of Ben Napier.
And Ben said, we must be a pretty good looking guy.
And he was joking. And I didn't know what to say. And went with, we must be a pretty good looking guy. And he was joking.
And I didn't know what to say.
And I went with, I guess.
Oh, no.
What could I say?
Right.
What could I say?
You're like, yes.
I think he's so handsome because he looks like you.
And oh, my gosh, I love you so much.
That wouldn't have played well either.
So our first three or four interactions went just like that.
Ben coming up to speak to me to say something kind and then I say something dismissive because
I don't know how to like beat you.
But that is I have so much appreciation and admiration for the people like Ben who want to include
and notice everybody.
And that's what I hope my girls pick up.
I hope that they are the outgoing one.
I'm not the outgoing one.
For me, it's difficult.
And I try.
But we're working hard on lessons like Helen has a friend at school and she says,
I don't think that we're friends anymore. And I said, wow baby, and she said, when she gets to
school, sometimes I say, hey, how are you? And she cries. And I was like, baby, that's not you.
I think she may have something difficult going on in her life that you don't know about. So you should give her a hug. Yeah.
Like things that I hope please please be the one that makes people feel loved when they feel alone. It's so good. It's hard to teach a five-year-old empathy and I hope that it will just come
naturally at some point. But yeah. Oh, well it sounds like you're doing it. That's awesome. I love
hearing your love story. That was one. I love hearing your love story.
That was one thing I loved about your book. So I keep referring to your book. It's called Make
Something Good Today. And it's like, it's a memoir that I was thinking as I was reading it.
It reads like a love story for, for, for, when, when your relationship, your marriage, and also a
love story for your hometown and for the life that God has given you. And I just love that so much.
I feel like a lot of times you read memoirs
and they're heavy and that's good too
because you do, I think you learn empathy
from reading about other people's stories and all that.
But for yours, it just felt like,
felt like reading a novel that was a love story
and I love it so much.
So one of the things you talked about with Ben
and your relationship and you mentioned, you like hit on it a little bit about his faith and
I love the talk about his faith being so integral into who he is and we talk about that a lot, you know
It's our faith and one of the things that there's an author Alicia Shoulete
She she writes and she talks about faith is central to who you are
It's not first because first is something that like is is in an order or whatever. Yes, but it's central to who you are
And when you're you can kind of understand that you understand the relationship that faith is meant to be and I thought about that as you
Were kind of talking about Vince faith and how you were drawn to that
Yes, it's just
Such an easy part of who he is and has been since he was a little
boy. His dad became a minister when Ben was I think about 10 years old. So it wasn't his whole
life that he was a preacher's kid, but it's just it's like I grew up in a church where our youth minister criticized me because I really loved jewel her music.
Oh yeah, okay.
And that made me feel like I can't love Jesus and music at the same time.
And that was conflicting.
And it sort of pushed me away from the church in a way that I don't think I felt like
what kind of God
would give the world music and then punish you for loving it.
And that was that was hard for me.
And so then I met him and faith was something completely different.
It was just like the air he breathes, right?
It wasn't it wasn't a thing that that required a lot of
um effort or upset and I wanted to be a part of that. So I loved those 10 years when he was a youth minister. I had such a great time. I kind of just volunteered to be the like with the girls in
the group that I would do the lessons with them and he would go with the guys and
we would do separate retreats and
That was a really special time in our young
Marriage when we had just gotten married. That's what we did together. We've been inseparable since we met
but when the years we were engaged and when we were married
That was those those kids in our youth group.
We're a big part of our relationship.
That's really, really special.
Really similar to Willie and I story.
He was a youth minister, I was a children's minister.
So we were the same way in those early years of our marriage.
It was so sweet to have all these teenagers in our apartment
or in our home and just to get to
kind of like grow with them a little bit and learn from them as well.
I love that.
And I love what you shared about just that, um, yeah, faith being who you are in all aspects
and it doesn't, it's not like exclusionary of like, oh, okay, it's what happened on
Sunday morning and then what happens everywhere else is different
You know, it's just
Intergal unto your whole part of your life and I love you thinking about what you guys do in television now
And that was the same for us in Dictonesty, you know, we said we don't you know this show is not a show
We're not preaching we're just we are who we are and people hopefully people will see that there's something in us and it's not us.
It's Jesus and I feel like you guys do that so beautifully on your show.
How did that come to be?
How did you end up with a show on HGTV?
That was such a crazy story.
We didn't mean to be on TV.
That was not ever, ever at the plan. We renovated this house
and I documented it in an online journal
that called Make Something Good Today.
I wouldn't call it a blog exactly.
I didn't have beauty tips or stories about it.
It was just, I wrote about the best thing that happened
every day in an effort to focus on counting blessings
because I'm an anxious and worried person by nature.
And that really, really transformed my life to write every single day about the blessings.
And only that. That's so good. And you find that if you can train yourself to count the blessings
and discount the sadness or the worries that it changes who you are. But that's so good and so important.
And in today's world, I feel like anxiety is such a conversation that's happening with young people
and all of us. And we're just bombarded with the bad things. We're just the news, social media,
all of that. We're so bombarded with the bad things. And it really does take a focus. I love that
scripture about like talking about whatever is good, whatever is true, whether
it's wholly think on these things. And I feel like you're talking about that.
And so tell us a little bit about it. Okay, you had a journal called Make Something Good Today.
Come make something good today. And so sometimes the best things were things we had done in the process
of renovating this house.
And I owned a wedding stationary company
for almost 10 years, that was my first baby.
And we were interviewed by a magazine called Southern Weddings.
And the article was about Southern newlyweds.
And because I was in the wedding industry,
and we had renovated our own house,
they wanted to know about what was that like,
working together to renovate your first house together and
um
An executive at hgtv named Lindsey widehorn happened to see that article and she reached out and asked if we had ever thought about
Doing TV. Wow and
It the day she emailed
Was the day Ben had written his resignation letter to the church.
Oh my goodness.
Hey, hey sisters and friends, y'all.
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Y'all, we have such incredible worship leaders
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We can't wait to meet you to host you,
to be in a room together full of worship.
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join us here in Munner, Louisiana,
sign up for your breakout group today.
We cannot wait to see all that God has in store.
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It was a check. This was a big check. This is the only very, very big check that I can recall
in our life, the biggest ever, and it changed everything about what came after. But for, I would say a year or so before Ben wrote that resignation letter,
he felt like he was being pulled away from it because he did not understand how
to connect with young people who were living in another world online and in Snapchat
and whatever.
I don't even know what there was in 2014,
but he had started building furniture
and was loving it so much.
I needed more help with the administrative side
of my business, so he was doing that.
And he was like, I think that I feel like I'm walking away
from God by finishing this chapter
of my life in ministry because my parents were both ministers and because this is what
I've always done.
And it scared him.
He was afraid he was making the wrong choice.
But he also felt like I'm not supposed to be doing this anymore.
It just feels wrong now. His brother also had just graduated from high school that year.
And Jesse was always his tether to people 10 years younger than him.
He felt like as long as he had Jesse and he knew Jesse would tell him the truth of the
heart of what young people were dealing with and what they were facing, then he knew how
to minister
to those people.
Once Jesse was not a teenager anymore, he was like unmoored.
He didn't know anymore.
He didn't know anymore.
It was a really hard time for Ben.
That year was so hard.
Him making that decision.
He finally wrote the letter.
He called our
preacher and said, can we get coffee in the morning? And a preacher said, oh no. And when
he hung up, the email came an hour later. Oh my goodness. He was wide-horned. And it
felt not like, well, we're going to make a TV show now. Yeah. It felt like an affirmation
that we can have an impact
and make a difference in other ways.
This is not the end of that.
It's just a new thing.
And maybe we should open our eyes
to other opportunities that happen.
And so it felt like a little encouragement.
That we got that email, but we were like,
how cool, this will be a fun thing.
We have to film something but we were like, how cool. You know, this will be a fun thing.
We have to film something called a sizzle, which is like a preview for a TV show that
doesn't exist.
And if nothing else, it will be this fun silly thing we had, and we'll go on about our
life with our stationery business and you'll build furniture and we'll volunteer at our
church for whatever they need, and that will be our life.
And then that's just not what happened. Wow. That's so crazy. I love all of that. There's a
few things that you said that resonated with me. Well, one, I remember that kind of moment in
our life. Willie was youth minister. He was working at our summer camp, Camp Chioca that we still
are a big part of. And he decided to quit that and go back to work
for his family business.
And it was a year, it was a tough year
because it was like, what am I supposed to do
where am I, where'd I fit in all this?
I didn't, he didn't quite know.
And I just remember that feeling, you know,
walking through that time with him.
And I can, I can fill that, you walking through that time
with Ben of like, okay, what's next?
And yesterday, a couple days ago, I was actually interviewed on another
podcast and she asked me, do you feel like you're in ministry?
And I never even asked that question before, but I was like, yeah, you know,
I think we all are, you know, whatever we're doing, we're in ministry.
We're called to go into all the world and preach the gospel.
So it's what we do wherever we are and whatever we are
and we're not the kind of, I don't know,
sometimes I can get nervous when people send me
a business email and it's like super spiritual.
I'm like, okay, it's not that.
It's just more of like, it is who we are,
it's what we do and it's, and so whatever we do,
we are in ministry.
So I love that, that was kind of that nod
to you guys to say like, oh, you're not done.
Just being a light and helping people
and pointing people to Jesus is gonna look different.
It's gonna be in a different way,
but you're not done with that.
Mm-hmm.
But we couldn't tell that at the time, you know?
Yeah.
We were going out with a lot of faith
that we will always make ends meet
and he will take care of us he will
provide it won't be from TV but this will be a fun thing that we can do
together and yeah well and that's step into television too it's so weird I
remember the first year that we did it you know telling Willie it was like
should be like gear up because like, should we gear up?
Because we're gonna have a TV show,
what happens if it hits?
And we were a small family business.
Everyone who works for us is family, that's it.
And we had been successful in that,
we had products in Walmart, Best Pro.
We were doing some of that, but still,
we were operating as a very much as a family business.
And what happens, and I remember him going like,
TV shows, come on, go all the time.
Like, we might make three episodes and we're done.
You know, you just don't know, you don't really don't know.
And then as we started doing it,
we were like, well, we think it's kind of funny,
but we don't know if other people will,
you know, it's kind of like that. How was it, we were like, well, we think it's kind of funny, but we don't know if other people will,
it's kind of like that.
How were those early days?
Whenever you did get picked up,
you were like, okay, we are gonna make a TV show.
What did that feel like?
I just wanna hit pause for one second.
Yeah, go ahead.
While we were in youth ministry,
they had trunk or treat.
Uh huh.
Oh my goodness. That is awesome.
This is my husband as your husband.
He looks great.
He is her only.
This is her only.
He might, he might would have won.
One of the are those Doug Donnancy contests.
That is too good.
It was honestly a cop out because everywhere he went through,
like you look like that guy from Doug Dones' Day.
Really, that is awesome.
I love it.
I love it so much.
That was a weird time.
It was so funny whenever.
It's weird if you're as a human being,
you've become a costume.
Yeah, it's a costume.
You've become a costume.
Yeah, but that was so fun.
It was weird, but it was fun.
It was just like, and we always say, I feel like God just kind of lifted us up and carried
us through that crazy time.
And he does, he prepares you for things that you have no idea he's preparing you for.
Yeah.
It felt like we were doing a very small thing, making a documentary basically about our
friends and our life at home and that probably no one would see it.
When you're making it, it doesn't feel, I don't know how it was for making your show,
but making a home renovation show, it feels like you're installing a window.
Today at work, I installed a window.
I made a basket and then I tied a fireplace and then I went home and I cooked supper and
that's what it felt like.
Yeah.
What it feels like to make home town.
And then you see it's in its finished iteration on TV and it's a story.
Yeah.
And it has an impact.
It means something to people that you would never imagine are seeing it or having connections to it
but I think God has somehow put some sort of I think of us like
We're covered in some sort of bubble where I don't feel that yeah, I don't feel like we're making a TV show that any
I still don't it we've been on the cover of people magazine five times
It must be the same as being in
Your local newspaper because I'm not a big deal. This can't be a big deal. Yeah, everything has become
I don't have the big head. Yeah, I don't feel any different and I don't feel like the work I'm doing is any different
God has done something there. Yeah, it's very
strange. You know how after you have a surgery and they give you a medicine and
you know that like Ben just had massive shoulder surgery and they gave a medicine
afterward. He's like nothing hurts but you know it really should. Yeah, yes, yes.
It's it's like that. It feels that way. Like God has put some sort of
head of protection around our brains and our hearts
that we don't feel any different.
I don't know.
Exactly what you're saying.
I say that all the time.
It was, that's, I've kind of that feeling
of God lifting us and kind of carrying us through
because it did not feel that weird.
It felt very normal.
And I know a lot of it was very weird and strange,
but it kind of just felt like our life.
And we have a video of that Willie actually filmed.
And he said he remembers Nink,
and I'm gonna film them,
because later this is gonna seem weird,
but just walking out of our documentary warehouse.
And we still have a lot of fans that come,
which we love, we're so grateful for.
But during that time period,
there would be hundreds and hundreds of people outside as
soon as we'd walk out every day.
And it was just, we had to kind of like, bob all the property around for parking.
And it was just kind of this, like, people just came and came and came.
And it was nail looking back.
I'm like, that was, that was weird because you would walk out of work.
And there would be these cheering crowds, you know?
But I think in the moment you like have
some sort of self protection thing where your brain goes they're not here for me. No, in the moment
it didn't fill that drain. Yeah, you just walked to your car and went home just like you normally do,
you know, and we've had the grocery store and people would say like why are you at the grocery
where you're like because we need to buy food like everybody else like you know exactly. And I think
that y'all had the privilege
that we had of doing it in your hometown
and I love that so much because it is.
All the things that are really important,
say the same, you know, your friendships and relationships
and the...
We got it, my mom is now three nights a week
and we did it there and the girls jump on the trampoline
and all the things get to the things that are actually
really important that will still be there whenever whatever this fame goes or comes and goes
or or what remains. And I think that you had the privilege of that and we do too. And I want
to talk a little bit about that about like coming back to your small town because I do
feel like that is another thing that young people they're like, Oh, I can't go back to my small town because, you know, I'm not going to find anybody to
marry there.
I'm not going to have like, I need something bigger or whatever.
And there is a beauty in that just going back to your roots and going back to where people
know you and have known you your whole life and where your family is.
And we're such big family people.
And I know not everyone has the blessing of having that.
And so...
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Just talk about that.
Like I'm about your small town and family,
and creating family wherever you are.
Yeah, we went to Ole Miss after the community college
where we met 15 minutes from my parents' house. Yeah, so we went to Ole Miss after the community college
where we met 15 minutes from my parents house,
but I still lived in the dorm because it was college.
And then we went to Ole Miss and at Ole Miss,
he was roommates with a guy I was friends with
in high school that I'd known my whole life.
And then I met Mallory, my best friend, we were roommates.
I introduced her to my cousin Jim. They got married. Josh married a girl that he met after college,
but then she moved to Laurel. So we had this family that began in college and we just brought
it with us to Laurel. Ben had moved around. He was, he's a Methodist preacher's kid. So
every five or six years, they moved to a new church. So he was used to moving his whole life, he
never had roots anywhere. And this was big for him to, I've had roots here that
go back, you know, three generations, so this is home. And he was happy to have a
place to put down roots. And my mom and dad now live, you know, five minutes away, and my
brothers 10 or 15 minutes away. And his been's little brother who was the high
scholar when he was a youth ministry. He and his wife have two babies and they
live a block from us. It just, it feels really good to, I know that it's a
thing that people do. They move far away from their parents and their siblings
But I haven't ever experienced that I went to Ole Miss for two years and then I came back home and I thought that I had what it took to get out there and
and leave and and see the world but the truth is none of that is as good or important or as special for me as
being with my family. Yeah, who were there for me my whole life. Yeah. And there's
just so much comfort. And I call my mom two times a day probably. And she'll just drop
in at our house or I can just we just drop in at their house every day. I see my parents and I'm excited that one day when I
don't have them anymore, I won't have regrets. And I won't have regrets that my children didn't know
them. Yeah, absolutely. And that's that's worth more than any experience or being able to eat
at fancy restaurants in a bigger city. Yeah. So it's so much more. Absolutely.
I'll understand.
I understand.
That's not a priority for everybody.
And not everybody has a relationship
with their parents for their siblings.
And I can understand where it might feel like the right thing
to do to leave.
But for me, I just love being able to see my mom and dad.
You'll watch a John Lane movie.
Go have a hamburger at their house.
It's just so nice.
Yeah.
We feel the same way.
We all of our kids have moved away for college
or for a few years and then kind of made their way back
and we're so grateful and love it.
And we're right there.
My parents are right next door.
Willis brothers are in our neighborhood.
My grandmother, who's, you know, a great, great grandmother are right there. My parents are right next door. Willis brothers are in our neighborhood. My grandmother, who's now a great, great grandmother,
are right next to my there.
And we just think, you know,
just the value of having those different generations
living in community together.
But also, I think, you know,
just the value of community
and it doesn't have to be your blood family,
but just finding those people.
I love you're saying you're family.
Like friends and family, makes together.
And I just love that because I think that that is what's so important.
And I remember whenever Sadie moved back here, she had been away for several years through
her kind of like college years.
She'd gone to Nashville and came back and her having to really work to reestablish those
friendships and that community.
And it doesn't just come easy.
You do have to set down those roots and work at it.
And I read about that you guys would hold like potlucks
on the lawn and things like that.
Talk about that a little bit
because I think that is so important for people to understand.
It's not just, it doesn't just all come.
And even with family, we all live beside each other
and we are close and we love one another.
But it's not perfect.
You have to make a point, you have to make an effort,
you have to make sure you walk outside of your door
and go next door and go have coffee with your grandmother
if you wanna keep a relationship.
You need, you have to do those things.
And also you have to look past things,
give grace to one another whenever you disagree
and you don't to live in community like that. Isn't there a huge deficit there where people
are people are showing less and less grace towards each other if they have a
disagreement ever one thing. Yes. If I believe in this and you believe in that
yes and we disagree on that one thing, but in everything else, we have this very happy and good
friendship. We're going to throw it away over the one thing. And I always talk about how I think
that a big family actually helps you the most in that because we disagree like as a family like
I don't agree with everything. Everyone in our family thinks banks are everybody's opinions on any politics or anything.
But we love each other and we come back together
and I do think there's some disassociation with that
and people moving away and not being forced to say like,
oh, even though I disagree with you,
I still love you because you're my people.
That has become so prevalent in our world today
that just writing people off that has become so prevalent in our world today that just
riding people off that disagree.
We are, I feel like if there is a ministry in hometown,
people do love to see that no matter how bad something is,
it can be brought back.
That applies to people.
And I think the other thing is they
see us welcome in people who stereotypically they think
we would not be welcoming to.
And I think that that's a big opportunity
to show people Jesus in that I don't have to agree with every
homeowner I have on my show. I just have to show them love.
And that is something anybody can do and we're doing it less and less. We're letting the things
that we don't agree on be the thing that keep us from creating community. Yes.
Communities fail when people don't look for the things that they do appreciate about each other.
I think there's probably some people in pop culture who aren't believers,
but they do a lot of good in the world. We shouldn't discount the good that they do.
We shouldn't discount the good that they do. Yeah, just because and maybe you know
God is gonna find a way to turn their story around and they become believers someday who does but
We shouldn't discount the good that people are
Putting into the world even if we disagree on some things and
I Think that's another reason. I'm like, I have some really strong feelings about social
media and our kids, our teenagers.
I don't think that that young people, eighth graders, ninth graders, tenth graders, certainly
not fifth graders are in a position emotionally and maturity wise where they can see something online,
recognize that's different from what I believe.
And that's okay, I don't have to be that way.
I don't have to follow, I don't have to,
I don't have to follow what social media tells me to do.
And I don't have to feel pressured or judged
for being the way I am because of social media.
It's hard enough to be 14.
Yeah, yeah, without all the pressure
and all the voices, the thousands and thousands of voices
that can come into your life in social media.
I, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that a little bit
because I saw your post about that you're starting something,
and you gave us just a little tease
so you didn't tell the whole thing,
so I don't know if you're ready to tell the whole thing yet,
but I am cheering you on 100%.
We, you mentioned that earlier about
been working in youth ministry
when kind of that whole thing was coming up,
and that's our kids teenage years, you know,
when Snapchat and Instagram was all kind of becoming this thing,
and you know, it was the scary world out there because you're like, all of a sudden your kids can
be opened up to the whole entire world. And who might come into them and speak into their
life and is very disarming. And, you know, we didn't do it all perfectly. I always tell
our kids, I'm like, I think you'll do it better because you know more. You know, right? You know more.
You know more.
Do more.
Yes.
Exit better.
You better.
But you seriously, parents who have kids, your kids age, are feeling a lot of guilt about
I let them have social media.
I didn't know.
But you didn't know.
Yeah.
And I just remember all the sudden
the internet is in everything. It's all the sudden, you know, when our kids retain
angels, you've like, he was, you could, you could control it by like your computer that's
in the main part of your house. There was that. Then all the sudden, it's like, oh, you can
get on the internet on your Kindle. You can get on the internet on your Mario, whatever,
it's all these things and like all this access to our children and like their kids, their brains aren't fully developed,
they're not ready for all that access.
I love that you're talking about it more and speaking out about it.
And it's God didn't design us to know the opinion, what a thousand people think about
us.
Right.
We were never designed to know what a thousand people think of us.
And that's where social media is dangerous. And an adult, I think, can take that information. You can hear what
someone's opinions are of you. And it still stings. Yeah. Right. But it also does, I know that it's not,
they don't know me. They know, and it's a picture of me
that looks a lot like me, that sounds a lot like me,
but it's not who I am.
And I understand that separation,
where 16-year-old me would not have, it would have crushed.
It would have absolutely crushed me
if I had had access to what I know
that teenage kids have access to now.
Yeah, I'm so passionate about this one thing
because it feels like social media access for our kids.
I feel like when you're 16, you can drive a car, right?
When you're 21, you can have a glass of wine. When you're of a certain age
where you can handle the repercussions,
or you can manage what you have to do,
then it's okay.
Yeah, right.
And I just don't, I'm not gonna let my
12 year old daughter's drive a car.
Yeah, yeah. And in the same way, I'm not gonna let my 12 year old daughters drive a car. Yeah, yeah.
And in the same way, I'm not gonna let my 16 year old daughters
have access to something that could crush them.
Yeah.
And one day it'll be their decision and they can.
And no, I hope by then see it for what it is.
For me, an amazing tool.
Right.
So maybe it's one of the greatest tools in the world
for connecting with people who have similar interest and design inspiration and communicating
with people who love hometown. Yes. It's a great tool. Right. But it's not a tool that my kids need
yet. Right. I love it. And so I found that I don't have a single friend who believes their kids should have access
to it.
Yeah, it's not so.
We all have had this conversation like so, so and so got a phone and Lucy's class.
So they're nine years old and they have a phone now and I was thinking like, hmm, that
means they have access to a lot of really scary things, you know?
And none of our friends want that. So we said, us, our family, the
Nowell's, Razzberries, and then other neighbors and friends, the
Trests, we all said, let's just not let our kids have access to that.
Because then they can't say, everybody's got it. None of your friends do.
Yeah. Your friends and your cousins don't. So if what happens if we can change the conversation to
more like one day I'll have social media, right now I don't need it and no one I know uses it.
Right. None of my friends are using it. Yeah. None of my friends have it. If you can change it,
so also there are children who cannot afford to have a phone. They get left out an ostracized,
just the same as the kids whose parents say, we're not going to do that. And they all have this
thing in common. What if you could form groups within schools, within communities where these
families find each other.
And they lock arms and they say, we're going to do this together.
We're going to support each other together.
Our kids are not going to be the ones left out.
Yes.
I could not love that more.
I'm cheering you on from afar.
There's anything I can do to help you in that mission.
Oh, there we go.
Tag me, yes, because I like tap me in because I'm so in on that, I just really, I love what
you're doing in that.
And I think that it is huge and transformative.
And the statistics, I mean, what we see that has happened since the invention of, you
know, social media to nail in our kids and depression and anxiety and all that.
I mean, it just cannot be dismissed.
You're fine.
It is terrifying.
It cannot be dismissed.
And I think that, yes, parents, we do.
We have to lock arms and do something about it.
And I'll just complain about it and say, oh,
this crazy world we're in, like we can actually do something
about it, we actually can.
Yeah, it's our choice.
Yeah, form a community that's not online.
Yeah, it's the real goal.
And it's not so much anti-social media
as I believe that kids who have a chance to grow up
without it have a chance to be more engaged
with the people and the interests and the activities
that they love, they become the best version of themselves
and then they'll be ready. Yeah, and then they'll be ready.
Yeah, and then they can give them.
That's good, and then they have access
to this online community that can open up things
rather than making more insular
and the things that we all see social media has done.
Yes, and there'll be a lot more information about that.
We're gonna have a really big event happening at the end of the summer to launch the new
school year that I'm excited about. And, you know, have more information about it then.
But we've got so much interest. I've made it. For now, what can we do to kind of like,
say we want to get involved? Is there any way to get more information about this?
Yes, there's a link on my Instagram page
for you adults who are using social media.
You can tap that and it's where you can join a mailing list.
So far, 20,000 people signed up on the first day.
Amazing.
Parents who want to raise engaged youth is what we're saying.
You know, there are a few kids that I know who
are in Helen's ballet school or who went to our church who didn't have access
to social media and those kids are just excelling in so many what they know
who they are. They are self-assured and they know what they want to be. They
know what they want to do and now know what they want to do. And now that they
have the option to have social media, they're like, no thanks. Yeah. It's not a thing where
we want to like, I want my kids to see how awesome their life can be without it. It's not about
how awful social media is. And anyway, I'm very
excited that we have 20,000 people so far. We were who want to know more about it. And
if any of you want to know more about it, please do go to AaronBin.co slash pages slash
Osprey. I need to make a better URL for it. But it was just like soft launch for now.
It's so great. I love it. Well, thanks so much. This has really been a joy to get to talk I need to make a better URL for it, but it was just like soft watch for now.
It's so great. I love it. Well, thanks so much. This has really been a joy to get to talk to you today.
I love what you're doing. We are, like I said, cheering you on from afar.
Neighbors, neighbor states, and we'll get to see each other in person someday.
Thank you for the example that you are as a mama to my generation of
mamas with little ones. We're watching moms like you and we're learning really
good lessons. I really appreciate you for it. And I appreciate the kids that
you raised. Sadie is making a whole world of difference and especially art.
We haven't assistant her name is Shay and I've told you about her before, but she just
admires everything Sadie does so much. You've raised good kids.
Way to go.
Thank you so much.
Aww, thank you so much. Good job, Mama, to YouTube. you