WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Cultivate a Life You LOVE Every Day! | Sadie Rob Huff | Stevie & Sazan Hendrix

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Stevie & Sazan Hendrix join Sadie to share the different pace of life that they've constructed for themselves — one that helps them live a real GOOD life, giving more time to God and to others. Saza...n and Sadie find they both experienced a fear when they changed how they were contributing to their influencer platforms with Sadie even confessing she had a good heart check about her own image and worth. Stevie encourages us all to set a pace that works for US not others ... we're not all created the same, so why would we all be able to function at the same pace? Sazan challenges us with a mega truth: Jesus is either enough for us or He isn't! And Sadie reminds us that there's a chasm of difference between conviction and shame and we shouldn't confuse the two. And don't miss both mommas making plans for their babies ... and what Sadie is already earnestly praying for Honey & Haven! Stevie and Sazan's book, "A Real Good Life" is available now: https://bit.ly/3QDy7OG https://www.reliefband.com — Get 20% off plus FREE shipping with code WHOA! https://www.stitchfix.com/whoa — Get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/whoa https://www.trymiracle.com/whoa — Get over 40% off + 3 FREE towels with code WHOA at checkout! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 So I don't know if y'all ever tried to buy the knockout version of a product thinking you know how to buy the cheap version And see if I like it and then you're like dang I really should about the real thing because it is just not working Well, that's why y'all have to check out relief band It is the number one anti-naziya wristband that relieves and prevents nausea and vomiting associated with things like motion sickness anxiety migraines morning sickness chemotherapy and. It truly is a game changer. So whether you or someone you love needs nausea, relief every day or just occasionally, relief band makes filling sick a thing in the past and it makes for a great gift for the nausea sufferer in your life. Relief band, though, is a hundred percent drug-free non-drausey and has zero side effects, so speak
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Starting point is 00:01:58 Have a Wednesday, everybody. I hope you're having a great week, but it's about to get better because we have two incredible guests on the podcast today with a brand new book first off. Look how beautiful these people are. We have Stevie and Sats, and we're gonna be talking about a real good life. Welcome to the podcast, friends.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Oh my gosh, Sadie, it's always a good day when we get to started here with you on your podcast. I think this might be the second or third time we're back on Stevie. This is your first time on the show, but I will just say anytime I've done your, just been a guest on your podcast, I have met so many incredible people through your amazing audience and through your community. So thanks for having us back everyone. We're excited to be here.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I'm going to be here. That's so cool. I love that so much. Well, I love all that y'all do. And of course, I was going to have you back. And now I'm glad to have CV on to. And, you know, it really is just this book is so cool. But I love that this is, whoa, that's good. And we're talking about how to have a real good life. So there's a lot of good things that you listeners should be expecting on this podcast. Stevie, since this is your first time I'll ask you the question of the world that's good podcast, I might be just dropping this on you. You might be like, I have no idea what I'm going to say, but that's okay. That's what makes this podcast great. But what is the best piece of advice that you've ever been given?
Starting point is 00:03:26 Whoa, Jorapha like it's hot. I usually I actually pride myself at being somebody who's like good on the fly like I'm an improv guy. All that stuff. So I'm like, oh no problem. But right now I'm like, oh my gosh, I'll just have to say probably the first thing that came to mind was, oh, yes. Well, I want to say two things now. I want to say Sambo. It wasn't direct advice to me, but it was something that I was like as like somebody who struggles with performance and trying to be a perfect like son in the kingdom, and obviously always falling short. One thing that Rick Warren said, like totally blessed me one time. He said, God's not as concerned with the perfection of your heart as the direction of your heart.
Starting point is 00:04:11 And so just about how like stop trying to get it right all the time and just pursue him first. You know what I mean? Everything else went up. So that was, that was when that wasn't to me. And then direct to me, I asked some of our spiritual moms and dads, they have just the most wonderful family. Like their family, I look at them and I'm like, you guys seem to have it all together. And I asked their dad, Scott, I said, Scott, what is the best parenting advice you could
Starting point is 00:04:36 give me? And I've heard him reiterate this too. He said, he said, learn how to open up your home and host others and let your home be open. Have an open door policy in your home with people who need help and need to come into your house for a season. I was like, why is that? He was like hospitality. He's like, it really tremendously blesses your family and your children specifically.
Starting point is 00:05:03 I can speak for that because somebody, like we did the same thing in my family where aunts, uncles, other people came and lived with us for a short time. And so he said, he said, when you have godly people who are a little bit younger than you, living in your house, he's like, it gives your kids somebody to look up to.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yes. You bless somebody while your children are also being blessed. And they have an amazing family. So I was like, hey, it works, it works. So I was good parents to, it works. It works. I was good parents. I love that. That's such good advice.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Well, first off, I love that the Rick Warren advice was advice that you took personal because I always say that on the podcast, you know, we are blessed to have great mentors in our lives that we can go, you know, actually have coffee with a pick of the phone call. But not everybody has that. And it's such a blessing though that there are so many resources out there that these incredible
Starting point is 00:05:48 people who are so wise, who are spiritual mothers and fathers have written books and they do pie gas and they have a YouTube channel or they have an Instagram that you really can learn from them, you know. And so I love that you're like, you know what, I'm going to say that personal. That's the best use of advice I've ever been given. And then also I love that you're like, you know what? I'm gonna say that personal. That's the best use of advice I've ever been given. And then also I love the other piece too. That's something my family has as well, just an open door policy. And I love it like at Christmas,
Starting point is 00:06:12 there's always people who know one knows. And we're like, you know, there's a lot of people that someone invited and it's just great. But it does. It teaches you so much. And my grandparents, they actually, they always have someone living with them. They only count it if you live with them for over six weeks. They only count that as like you live with them. And they've
Starting point is 00:06:32 had over a hundred people live with them, which means over a hundred people have stayed for over six weeks, which is just really cool. But we've been so blessed by that and by getting to know new people and learning from new people as have they been blessed by having a home. So I agree that hospitality is huge. Well, I'm so excited to jump into this book. I know people are gonna be so excited because everyone wants to live a good life, right? And so before we kind of get into the whole thing,
Starting point is 00:07:04 I wanna ask y'all, in y'all's opinion, before you wrote this book, before we kind of get into the whole thing, I wanna ask y'all, in y'all's opinion, before you wrote this book, before you kind of had this revelation of what really the good life is, what was y'all's ideal good life? Like, whenever maybe you're a little bit younger, if you thought this is the good life, what would have been? Oh, you know, this is such a great question, Sadie.
Starting point is 00:07:23 And, you know, for us, that's kind of even when we were writing the introduction of the book, we immediately started there. What are ambitions and what the land of the good life looked like, right? Before we actually realized what the real thing was, I think you can add to this. We could probably powwow off of it. It's for me, even as a young girl, I probably am a teen when you're starting to think about your future and what that looks like. All the things, I really saw success being this thing about right wealth, about the career
Starting point is 00:07:58 aspect. I was like, I want to be the next Juliana Ransik at E news. The entertainment world is calling my name. It's by the way, it's not really a thing anymore. Isn't that funny? No, it's really not the show. It's not no longer really a thing. But you know, it's funny how when we're younger, we have those really lofty dreams and goals.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I was like, I will be the next biggest news reporter that is out there. And I had this vision that like, oh my gosh, I'm going to have, you know, the best wardrobe. I'm going to have the nicest car. It was very worldly, very material. And for me, this was funny enough around the time in my life when I didn't have Jesus in my life. So it was easy for me to really put a lot of those eggs in that basket of what I thought
Starting point is 00:08:50 happiness, joy, and contentment, and success was is in those sort of worldly material aspirations. And you have a good excuse because I had God in my life and I was like, I'm gonna be a star. Watch me, you know, watch me go. It's so funny. Like, what's so funny about my journey is I remember being like 15 and asking my youth pastor, I was like, I really want to be an actor. Like, I feel like that's like the gifts that God has given me. That's what, you know, I'm kind of being called into.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I was like, but I'm also scared that God doesn't want me to do it. And he was like, dude, you're 15, like don't worry about it. And I was like, but I need to know. I need to know where I'm headed. You know, like even from an early age, like I was like, I want to be successful. I want to do something that counts in that matters and I want to do it really well.
Starting point is 00:09:38 And so I just remember from even from that age, like being like, God, like if you don't want me to do this, I will give it up, it'll crush me, but I'll'll give it up and I remember it was like around the age of like 27 after we were married when God officially was like I want you to give that Dream up and let it die and so from there and and says on same thing same story You know she gave up her dream of doing what she thought was the good life and it was really at that point when God was like Okay, now I can really use you and I can take you into the good life. And it was really at that point when God was like, okay, now I can really use you. And I can take you into the good life that I have for you.
Starting point is 00:10:08 You know. That's great. That's so good. Okay, I love this already so much. I want to ask because there's a quote that I wrote down from the book that I thought was just really good. Because some people are already listening to this and they're like, that sounds good. The whole idea of a good life.
Starting point is 00:10:23 But I don't know if I can obtain the good life because of my circumstances or because of the hand that, you know, life dealt me. And I love, um, as you wrote this, like, fairness doesn't have much to do with the good life. And you were talking about a season of life that just didn't seem fair. And I think that a lot of people do kind of feel like that. It's like, man, that's great that y'all can live the good life, but my life hasn't been fair. Like, I can't live a good life. So can you speak into a little bit about how the good life
Starting point is 00:10:51 really is an invitation for all people to live, no matter what season or circumstance you're really in? For sure, Sadie, I think you and I have actually talked about this on your previous show, a previous podcast was, you know, when it comes to the good life, I think what Stevie and I have seen through our testimony and how God has just used us in a way has been like, it's never been easy, you know what I mean? Like, it's, there's this idea and this
Starting point is 00:11:18 perception that like, good means easy, good means like, things are just working, you have a favor upon favor, just showering over you. No, like I think what we've seen is that like good and hard actually coexist in a good life. And actually you have to go through the hard I believe to get to the good and that good being a truly God filled life, right? We talk about the good life, but you can't spell good without God. Let's be real. Come on. And so when I think about what I think about like that version of good,
Starting point is 00:11:52 that's the life that we want to cultivate. That's the life we want others to see, breathe and cultivate. There's a specific chapter in the book that I talked about and it was called, you know, Finding Hope in Hopelessness and those hopeless moments in our life. Y'all, I love fall fashion. Fall is just so beautiful. I was just telling Christian that they're day that I think that Halloween season a little bit ruins fall and he was like, that's such a hot day. But I was just like, why do we have monsters everywhere when we can have pumpkins, right? I love fall fashion. I love the beauty of it. And if there's something that you're causing it needs for fall fashion, Stitch Fix has got you covered.
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Starting point is 00:14:18 Go check it out today, friends. I remember a season of my life where, you know, Stephen, I both came from humble beginnings and I grew up in a two and a half bedroom apartment. I say half because it was a laundry room that we converted into a third bedroom, but there was eight of us living in this apartment up until I was 16 years old. So you can imagine that like all of my foundational memories, everything was within really close quarters within family members. Like there was no, I mean, we were all up in each other's business.
Starting point is 00:14:47 So it's like I grew up in an environment where, you know, we lived in this really small apartment. And I remember the day when I was five years old and when I was coming home from school, after my parents, my dad had just opened up this new restaurant in Irving, Texas. And he had really been saving up to do this. And so him and my mom were working at this restaurant all day to get it prepped and ready. When we got home that day, and I walked up to the apartment door,
Starting point is 00:15:10 the bolt had been completely shut off the door. There was wooden scraps everywhere, the door was kind of beaten open, and I said something as a joke, as a five-year-old, because I saw it in a movie, and I was like, oh my gosh, we've been robbed! And my parents were like, okay, whatever. And so we go up to the staircase, and they actually see in our apartment door, had like, oh my gosh, we've been robbed. And my parents were like, okay, whatever. And so we go up to the staircase
Starting point is 00:15:26 and they actually see in our apartment door, had been broken off the door, and we were actually robbed. And so we had waited for the police to arrive. And I remember walking into that scenario as a young five year old girl looking around as somebody else's dirty fingerprints had been on our house. And we already had less and so that
Starting point is 00:15:46 became even less than that. And so I remember it felt like when you know watch the Grinch Stole Christmas that movie and how it says that the Grinch stole every last crumb. So what we had had which wasn't much now became even less than that. I remember as the police were asking my mom to look around see what possessions and belongings have been taken. My mom was walking around. We were all taking inventory and note. And I remember the Nintendo that my parents saved up for, it was shortly after Christmas, they had stolen our Nintendo. And I just thought, oh my gosh, somebody else is going to get to collect coins with my controller.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Like as a five-year-old. And I remember they stole a bunch of other stuff. It was this moment where my family we felt completely hopeless. You would think how do you, how do you even see the good in a moment like that in a situation like that? And I remember as a five year old, what do we do as kids? You always look at your parents to see how they're going to react. Because that's going to help determine how you react. And I remember in that moment what my parents did was they grabbed me and my two sisters and they brought us together into their arms and
Starting point is 00:16:54 they said, the most important thing is that we still have each other. And that that is something that is never going to be taken away from us as a family. And I remember that while I still had fear, I still had panic and I had years of trauma from that experience, imagining somebody in our home, somebody who could still be hiding in the house as a kid. You think, oh my God, are they hiding somewhere? I remember in that moment that brought me so much peace,
Starting point is 00:17:20 even as a five year old tour. I can say I remember that today. And what I'm trying to say with that is that anyone who's listening, maybe today in your life, something has hit the rocks. Maybe there's a relationship that's suffering. Maybe you've given up on certain areas of your personal health,
Starting point is 00:17:35 or you've ignored certain areas of your life, or you're going through loss. I think it's so important that there is always good in the midst of hopelessness, no matter what, right? And so I believe that what God can do through that loss, through that brokenness is God can always use that. He can use that hopelessness, that hopeless moment as the pulp, the pulp for something new that he is going to do in your life and
Starting point is 00:18:06 in your story. So I want to encourage anyone in everyone listening who feels like there is no light at the end of this tunnel right now. It is hard to see the good in the midst of hard. I will say do not lose sight and do not lose hope because that is just the beauty of having Christ in our lives, is that no matter what happens today, God is in it and He is not gonna leave me and He is not gonna forsake me.
Starting point is 00:18:33 And so even as a five year old, I didn't even have Jesus in my heart at that time. I was able to see the Father through my parents, through that moment that He used in that time period of my life to continue to write the story and continue to share the good amidst the hard. That's amazing. And I want to just pick up with what Saz left off to is that I think people could look at us and you know, Sazana and I actually didn't want to be on the cover of this book. We wanted it just to say a real good life. That was something that we argued with the publisher
Starting point is 00:19:08 about. We're like, yeah, we don't want to like look like look at us. You know, we want it to be about the message. And you know, I get it. They're like, you're new face needs to be on it. People you don't want to know who you are. And so we're like, okay, but Szan and I both have the same heart to champion the underdogs in this world.
Starting point is 00:19:25 And I know that that's like Christ's heart. Christ really champions the underdog, you know? The last shall be first. Because I think that was our story growing up, both of us. I remember a time when I was 12 years old. We were always struggling to make ends meet in my family. And I just remember one time my dad got really sick. I was in the hospital for over a week.
Starting point is 00:19:44 And that was a huge deal because we didn't have any extra money. And I remember our whole church family gathered around and gave us a sum of money. And I just remember, I remember my mom crying, you know, just sitting at the dining room table, crying tears of joy and just gasping this breath of like, oh, thank God, you know, thank God that people actually cared and actually stepped up for us and we saw some grace because that time in our life, it felt like we didn't see a lot of grace. We didn't see a lot of that. So, Szan and I both carry this heart that's like, we want to champion those people who say, I don't know if the good life is for me.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Maybe God just doesn't have a good life for me. And I would say, he definitely does and he does miraculous things when you are at the bottom and when you are broken. It's when you're at the bottom and when you're broken that God can actually begin to start his ground work, right? And he can do a great work. He can build this great building, this massive structure, but that has to start at the foundation. So I think for all of us, no matter where you are, whether rich or poor, we have to get to that place where we come to the end of ourselves and we say, God, I truly don't know what's next.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I don't have the answer. And I just need grace. You might be a rich man who needs tons of grace over your family. You might be a poor man who has a wonderful family. You need tons of grace over your financial life. And so I think we all get to the end of our rope at some point and we have to say, God, I just don't have the answers. I want to live a good life because I think a good life is a holistic life.
Starting point is 00:21:05 I don't believe in the prosperity gospel like Sazon said, I do think that you're just gonna go through trials and tribulations, the Bible talks about that. But God is there holding your hand. He didn't send David out to fight Goliath on his own. That would be crazy. But he was out there with David. And he, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:21:21 And he delivered David from that moment. And so you might be fighting Goliath right now and thinking like, God's not with me. No, God is with you. And you have to begin to see that he's not doing mean things to you. He's allowing things to happen for you, but you've got to fix your eyes on him. Man, that's so good. God, this is so rich and this is so good. For those listening, if you're getting this, this is life changing stuff. I love that. And in the Bible, you see that all throughout the scripture, I was just reading it, you know, shout out me, check in the bendigo,
Starting point is 00:21:49 whenever they stood, you know, for God. And they're like, my guy can save me, my God's able to save you, but even if he doesn't, he's still God. And then they had to literally go in the fiery furnace, but they lived. And actually not only did they live, but people saw a fourth man in the fire.
Starting point is 00:22:04 And it's just a really cool thing because it's not that they didn't have to still go in the fire it's just that God was with them in the fire and so I love that's what you're saying you might still have to go in the fire but God's going to be with you in the fire. I'm already starting to teach honey just some scripture and she doesn't even necessarily know that it's scripture. I'll say Jesus said or this I'll just kind of throw it out there for her because whenever I leave, whenever she's going to bed, she's like, I don't want you to leave me, Mom, you don't want you to leave me.
Starting point is 00:22:32 And I always tell her, I say, honey, and say, you know what? Mommy has to go to bed, but Jesus never leaves you. It says in the word that he will never leave you and he will never forsake you. And you just mentioned that verse earlier. And she goes, he never leave me like, no, he never will leave you and he will never forsake you. And you just mentioned that verse earlier. And you know, and she goes, he never leave me like, no, he never will leave you.
Starting point is 00:22:49 So you're always gonna be with someone, you know, you're never gonna be alone. And it's just really cool to just see how that like impacts her. You know, she doesn't even have a full understanding yet for what that even means. But she knows someone's with me, you know. And I'm actually gonna be okay. And so seeing it in her life, I'm like, man,
Starting point is 00:23:09 I need that for my own life. I need to believe that in my own life that he will never leave me and never forsake me. And there are gonna be times where it looks lonely. Like for honey, it looks lonely, it looks dark. I have a whole night ahead of me. If somebody might be right there at the night and you're like, it looks lonely, it looks dark, but I'll never leave you and I'll never forsake you.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And so, it's such a good word, y'all. I just, I'm so excited for people to read this book and hear all of this. Friends, believe it or not, we are approaching Christmas season. I'm so excited every store we walk in. There's Christmas trees, honey gets so excited, but I don't know if she gets more excited than I do. However, whenever you own a small business or running a business, you know that that means a lot of packages are about to be sent out. It's about to get really busy.
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Starting point is 00:25:40 Sadie, when you just said about that, honey, I have to say, I have the same experience most recently with our little Valentina, our little teeny. She's five and a half now, except her thing was, Mommy, I don't like when I have to go to sleep and I don't fall asleep yet, but then everybody else is sleeping. I said, well, here's the great news. God never sleeps. Like you're okay. So we get this. The next night, we read this little storybook that we have of like different versions, like of the,
Starting point is 00:26:11 you know, kids Bible. And it was story about how, you know, when they are out on the scene and how the disciples and the storm came. The disciples were like, and then it says, it says, you know, Jesus was sleeping when all of this happened Right now and then he wakes up. He's like why y'all freaking out? And then she said mom You said that God never sleeps. Jesus is taking a nap in the boat That phase when you're just like okay, how do I you know backtrack here? We're just like, okay, how do I, you know, backtrack here? But yes, it's great. And hilarious.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I want to add to what you were saying, though, Sadie, about how God never leaves her for save. So that was something that really changed my life recently. Is that a mentor was telling me, he was like, David was talking about, you know, where I can go up to the heavens, I can go to hell in a sense, and your spirit is with me. And I want people to know that like, God never leaves you, but you have to understand
Starting point is 00:27:05 that he never leaves you even in your worst moment. Like even in, even in like not even just like, oh, something really bad happened to me. He doesn't leave you in the moment when you're like, I did something really bad. Yeah. Like he's in the room. Yeah. And even though we'll turn our back on him, he doesn't turn his back on us. That on us. So that's what allows us to stay in communion with him because he doesn't shame us. He says, come to me. And so like if you're also somebody who's like, well, I still can't have the good life because the things that I've done, God, you know, God just won't give me a good life. But that's not true.
Starting point is 00:27:41 God's actually in the room with you when you've done those things and when you're still doing those things. And he's patiently waiting. He's actually in the room with you when you've done those things and when you're still doing those things And he's patiently waiting he's saying like just come to me Don't don't be if there's no distance between us. It's just like when you have to discipline your child The real dislike the real like sadness and what people get wrong about disciplining your kids is not the moment Where you actually have to spank them because the Bible talks about that But it's it's if you allow anger to come between you and your child and you turn your back in a sense on them, even for a period of time, you're like, I'm angry with you.
Starting point is 00:28:11 You can't come to me. I don't want to talk to you. And we frame God that way in that real, personable sense, but he's not like that. He's always open. He's like, I'm never angry with you. My heart is open towards you. I'm right here for you. And so if you're somebody too, it's like, I can't have the good life because of the things that I've done and what I'm still doing.
Starting point is 00:28:28 I would say that's that's alive from the enemy. And shame cannot separate you from God unless you allow it. But you have to say, like, just like Mary Magdalene accepted Jesus' invitation. He said, they don't condemn you. Neither do I. the only one left to condemn her was herself. Yeah, that's true. And if Mary Magdalene said, right, if Mary Magdalene said, like, right, but like I still, and Jesus is right there, Jesus would be like, I'm here for you. And that's what God's doing constantly.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And so don't disqualify yourself from his goodness and his grace because that's an open door invitation. And just say, like, oh God, like you have forgiven me, I can't understand it, help me understand it, and help me just to be with you. That's great. I think about like changing our life, right?
Starting point is 00:29:10 And the things that we struggle with is not about saying, I don't wanna do X, Y, and Z, it's not about being perfect, it's about saying, God, I actually just wanna be with you. Like I wanna choose you over those things that I've done. Yeah. I wanna be with you instead of turn my back on you. That's great. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:29:26 There's such a big difference in like shame and conviction. And I think some people think that like when they feel convicted, they start going in this like shame mentality because you're like, oh, I did wrong. And so now like God couldn't love me. God can't save me. He's getting it goes into like all the shame. But it's like no conviction is an invitation to make it right with the Lord Conviction is an invitation to repent is an invitation to confess and Christian actually helped teach me that because I would go into that
Starting point is 00:29:53 Just shame mentality. It's like as soon as I do something wrong. I'm just like oh, you know I feel so far from God the seven Christians like why don't you actually see conviction as the gift that it is that the Holy Spirit in you is not letting you live in that sin and making you go, no, I need to turn to the Lord because God, like, he's offered that forgiveness to you. And so now, like, when I feel convicted, I'm not like, oh, I feel great. This feels like a warm hug. I mean, it's still hard, but I'm like, man, I'm so glad. But what I have learned, just when you talk about discipline,
Starting point is 00:30:25 I'm so interested when you discipline your child, like that even though you're disciplining them and you're doing something that should or could make them upset. And I think what people, especially in this generation, fear, it's like, oh, well, if I discipline them, and they're gonna be upset or whatever. But it's so amazing that you can discipline your child,
Starting point is 00:30:43 whether you spank or whether you say go to time out or whatever and like they Want like as soon as that's over like who do they come to they come to you to hug you And then you talk it out and say I love you And this is why we had to do that because I don't want you to get in trouble I don't want you to do something that could be dangerous for your life Or that's not best for you, you know mommy wants you to do things that help you and make you thrive and all this kind of stuff. And so it's just amazing because they know, even in you disciplining, that you love them.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Like, and you're doing this out of love. And that's how I feel with God now. It's like, man, like, that conviction is disciplining me. But I know he loves me. And he's trying to get me on the good life, the good path for my life. And so I have to lean into that and not run away from that. And then teaching your kid discipline will teach you a lot about how God's conviction works in your life and discipline. You know, it's so good. This is so rich. I have so many things that I want to ask you about. But one thing
Starting point is 00:31:46 about this book that is so great is that it's very practical. You're actually put in some how to actually live a good life and you'll set it up in routines, I guess, or rhythms by morning, day, evening, night, all that kind of stuff. And so how did you come upon these four reflect, focus, gather, rest? Was it something that you just noticed? You were naturally doing? Was it something you saw other people doing? How did you form these four as what maybe will create a good life for you? I can answer the first part, and then I think you will do great in a second half.
Starting point is 00:32:18 But I'll just say, prior, I think this book, as we were writing it, it wasn't this idea like, we have this aha, like we have figured out as we were writing it, it wasn't this idea like we have this a ha Like we have figured out we've made it to the good life and our life is perfect And now we can just preach about it and all this stuff I think it's amazing that when your heart is hungry, right? For more when you when you look at your when you audit your life like if we all look at our life from an aerial perspective and say like Okay, what is this life that I currently have? And what are the desires and the dreams that I have for this life? Where are the areas
Starting point is 00:32:49 that I've, I thought it was a garden? How would I want to plant and cultivate and water these seeds, right? And I think for us, what we saw was that for so long, like we were saying, we were in LA, you know, chasing what we thought was the good life, only to arrive there and realize that we're actually in danger of missing the real thing. If we don't stop and restart. And so I remember we really sat together and it was multiple times of sitting together, praying together, but really being brutally honest with ourselves, with God, about, well, what is this life? Like if we want simplicity, like, what does that mean?
Starting point is 00:33:27 It means we've got to get, you know, roll up your hands, your sleeves and go in into the garden, you've got to prune back, you've got to get rid of some things, even some pretty flowers on the rose bush may need to be cut so that new flowers can grow and new beauty, making room for that new beauty in your life. So I remember we had to sit down and make like a list of like those things. Like what does that practically look like for us now that we have kids?
Starting point is 00:33:49 What was important? You know, we ended up moving back to Texas. That was a huge part of that decision was like we want to cultivate a life that we can love every day despite not being where we want to be. And we want to start by looking at our own life and our family. And I think what God has done in the process has, while we were being blessed by what this life really should be about, we were like, wait, this is also something
Starting point is 00:34:13 we want to share with other people as well. So it's awesome how sometimes when you're going through the thick of figuring out life things, God can use that to help others as well. But really, this book was written for us in a sense, because we were really hungry and searching for those answers. So I think in terms of figuring out what those rhythms in the day were, it's amazing when you're in Genesis, right? And you see how God beautifully and artistically, right, brought this world
Starting point is 00:34:42 in the seven days that he did and created, you know, the earth and the stars and the humans and all of the things. And what's amazing is that when we look at a 24-hour day span, like that has been around since the beginning of God's creation. It's like 24 hours in a day. We all have that. You don't have more time than I do and vice versa. So there's something really beautiful about that simple understanding of like we all have that foundational 24 hours in a day. And I think how we live these days is the extension of a good life over time.
Starting point is 00:35:20 These days just add up and there's great days, there's hard days, there's hard days, there's bad days, there's beautiful days, like your wedding day, you know. And so when we looked at the day, we said, what if we broke it up into four different phases of the day? Like what if we actually chopped it up like a pie or pizza and you look at it through the, through the lens of like, we have your morning, right? And then you go into your midday and then you've got your evening and then the nighttime hours.
Starting point is 00:35:51 And when you look at that and you break it up, suddenly then you're able to kind of for us realize, all right, well, when we look at our life, what does that framework look like? And so those words of rest focus, you know, and gather and those words of rest, focus, you know, and gather. And those words are just so personal to our life. And what we feel through other friends and community members, that seems to be like the goal, right? It's like,
Starting point is 00:36:15 we all know that at one o'clock, we're all in the thick of productivity in our day. So focus just really made sense for that bulk of the day. And then morning being reflect. I mean, there's so much beauty in those morning time hours. And then obviously any given season you're in that changes because I'm in postpartum mode right now. So I'm not getting up and having my quiet time at the ideal hour of the day that I want. So we talk about that too, but I'll let you kind of get into why those maybe those phases of the day were really important for us when we're. Yeah, I mean, I think that think that you know when you think about like writing a book about a real good
Starting point is 00:36:47 life you can't just be like here it is right it's like that's overwhelming right so we what we realized is we were thinking we're like you know a good life is made up of one good day at a time right so what we wanted to do was even break the day up and make it smaller so that people have they have moments to reflect, you know, what I mean? To focus, to gather, and to rest, and realizing that those are essential ingredients to your day, and the day makes up the week, and the week makes up the year, and your life, and so on and so forth.
Starting point is 00:37:16 And so we felt like, yeah, there has to be like tangible real takeaways. Sometimes you go to church and you hear like the preachers speak, and you're like, that sounds good. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, dude, I'm overwhelmed, you know what I mean? So we don't want people to be, we didn't want people to be overwhelmed, you know, in reflecting, you know, first thing in the morning, it's like, we were thinking about all of our four month old, you know, and how like every time you wake him up or he wakes you up in the morning. The first thing that he sees is you. His eyes are set on you first thing in the morning because he's like, I need you. Like I need you to provide for me, take care of me, et cetera, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:37:51 And that's the same way we are with God. It's like, God, I need you today. And I need to set my eyes on you first thing. And then you've got your focus portion of the day where we believe that God does call us to work and to create. And I mean, he's given us gifts. work and to and to create. You know what I mean? He's given us gifts. Let's not hide our light. And then gather. I mean, community is such a huge part and even community within your own home, right? It's like those relationships are such an important
Starting point is 00:38:16 part and then rest. I mean, you understand this? We understand this. When you got like a couple kids, man, you really need your rest and it is okay to give yourself permission to rest. There's a lot of power in resting. So we really believe that those were just like essential ingredients too, a good day and a good life. Friends, I have not been getting a lot of sleep. To be honest, I literally have this I-twitch happening like all week because both my girls are up all through the night
Starting point is 00:38:45 But I have to say my bed is so comfy So when I do get those pockets to sleep, it is awesome I talk a lot about the importance of a good night's sleep And that's why I love to talk about miracle-made sheets They're self cooling and made with silver and fuse fabrics inspired by NASA, which is super cool Miracle-made sheets will keep you at the perfectvative, but you're all night, so you can sleep better every single night. Wake up in the night and a lot of sweat is just not comfortable, and I can be a thing of the past with miracle-made. Another thing I absolutely love about these
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Starting point is 00:40:57 to treat yourself today. I'm taking that advice with me and I'm right there with you in that postpartum those mornings and like, how do you have a good morning routine when it's crazy? And so I love that it's simple, it's like reflect. Like you're not going to have a routine maybe. You know, maybe it's just waking up in the posture that you wake up in and the posture that the gratitude that you have and all those things. And I didn't even realize that Oliver is like four months old and they they're hurt him and Haven are like the same age. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:41:29 Yeah. Wait, when was he born? June 23. Oh my gosh. Right after, right? That's so sweet. I congrats. I have been like off social media. It took like the first like eight, nine months of the year. Often just now kind of getting back on. So it feels so out of the loop. So congrats on him. He I knew you had him. I didn't realize how close. That's awesome. That's so sweet.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I know. Hey, hey, it's amazing. And I always say, hey, all of her is going to have amazing wifey options here. There's a lot of. Oh my gosh. A lot of girls being born lately that we know. And I'm like, I'm that mom that's like okay
Starting point is 00:42:05 I'm gonna be a mother-in-law. So like I'll be in her kitchen. All the beautiful possibilities we have here. Oh my gosh. I love it so much. Hey I'm the same way we are the same me and Christian are like okay there they're having a little boy They're a little boy that that's cute. He's cute. Exactly. I haven't a honey got some good options But my prayer is just like Lord, would they never like the same guy at the same time? Because that's all I don't even think about that. I know my please Lord,
Starting point is 00:42:35 would they never like the same guy at the time? But I want to ask all about just paste, because I love, you know, talk about paste in the book and I just, it made me think about, I just shared it, it was office of community for a long time and I had to like, circle this, underline it, put it here so that I could read this quote from the book because I'm like, this is so many people's fear. It says, we had to overcome the worry that we miss out on some amazing opportunity if we didn't obey the pace set by a brand
Starting point is 00:43:03 or last minute marketing push committing to your own pace takes courage it takes commitment because it will be challenged I can promise you that and that was something that like when I decided to take some time off social media I think one thing that it revealed in me was how much fear I actually had around doing that like it was crazy it should I don't think it should have even taken as much courage as it, is it really did for me to go, you know what? I got to slow this down. Like I got to shut this down because I felt like keeping up with the pace that got have for my life. And I was, you know, pregnant with our second and
Starting point is 00:43:39 super busy with work, but then I'm mom to honey and those last couple months with her and I just was like This is something that has to go right now, but I was like afraid of it I was like what are the people you know the book publishing companies go thinking the people that I'm speaking for I'm not gonna post for there even so like just like little things that I really was afraid of how it would affect or you know If I take that much time off social media and I come back, is the algorithm just going to act actually like just wax it, you know, and like all this stuff that really is, it's just so small and the grand scheme of things that matter in life. But it's something that I didn't even realize. If you would have
Starting point is 00:44:21 asked me if I was a, I would be like, no, those things. I don't care. Like, I wouldn't think that I hold that so closely. But for whatever reason, whenever I decided out, I need to shut it down when I felt God kind of shifting that pace in my life. I realized how much of a stronghold that kind of was. In my mind, I'm like, I'm not even that into social media. I really am not. Of all the social media platforms out there,
Starting point is 00:44:45 I really only have Instagram on my phone. I don't really post as much as mostly would do any ways. I wouldn't say that it really shapes me or forms me. I've kind of got a good place with that. I literally wrote a whole book on it who are you following. Like, I feel like I would have thought, I'm in a really healthy place with this.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Until I was like, I'm gonna delete it for a whole year. And then I was like, hold on a second. All these fears started to rise. All of this insecurity started to rise. It started to realize just different aspects of my, even identity that I had placed in being able to, I guess even like I mentioned, the book people, what are they going to think?
Starting point is 00:45:26 What are the people that I'm speaking for their event going to think if I can't shout them out? And I realized like, man, do I really believe that people only want me around sometimes because of my following and what my instrument do or do I really, or do I believe that like I'm worth it to come to the event, even if I can't shout it believe that like I'm worth it to come to the event even if I can't shout it out or I'm worth it to write a book because God put these words in my heart even if yeah I'm not going to sell as many copies because I'm not on social media and it was just like really me questioning um do I really believe my worth is found in what I can bring to the table as follows a following or doubly my worth is because of who I am and what I can bring to the table as follows a following or doubly my worth is because of who I am and what I bring to table because of my voice
Starting point is 00:46:08 and who I created me to be. And that was something that really slapped me in the face. I was like, oh my gosh, I did not even realize I put this much on that. And so I had to bring that up because it really does take courage to start to commit to a pace that God really is bringing into your life.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And for me, I was like, man, my kids are so much more important than this, you know? And as their mom, if I'm going to be at a healthy pace, to just show up and be the best mom I can be, then Instagram like has to lay down right now. Social media just has to lay it down. And I love how you were talking about in the book, the EKG and how each of us have this specific, like, how our heart rate is. And it's like we're all trying to be at the same pace, but the same pace doesn't work for everybody.
Starting point is 00:46:54 And I think that that's really what I was trying to do. I'm like, I'm trying to keep up with the pace of what, you know, how you're supposed to be on social media, but I'm like, but my pace right now, as a mom, and my pace right now, as a leader of L.O. and what we're doing is just I can't keep up with the pace as well as an influencer as well as somebody on social media. And so I was like, this is just how I got to reshape my life. And so can you all speak a little bit into writing that part? Yes, well, I'm just going to say like when you're speaking, everything that you're saying,
Starting point is 00:47:23 like I can obviously relate to that. And I're speaking, everything that you're saying, like I can obviously relate to that. And I am actually right there with you, sister. So like you saying what you're saying about how you felt like you needed to really lay whatever this is, all of it just lay it down and kind of walk away a little bit, take a step back. Just hearing that is such a breath of fresh air from a mother to a mother. We both had our, you know, you had your second. I just had my third. It is like, say to you in a sense, you've in a sense just given me the permission to do that too. Like, it is okay. And it's just amazing how God can use our fears and He can use our insecurities and the things that we're going through right now in the present moment and in the present season of our life to not only help us undo some of the things that we've gotten tangled up into some of the rhythms that like we've gotten lost on the treadmill of life in. But also, it's okay to slow down at every new day. It's a new day to begin again and you've done that.
Starting point is 00:48:26 And it's so encouraging and heartwarming for me to hear that. Because I know that you too had a book that was out. There's all you know it. There is the pressure from the publishers. And there's pressure from yourself as people who are a little bit, like we are our own worst critics. But we also are achievers. And we want to show up for God's kingdom every day.
Starting point is 00:48:45 We wanna do the best that we can do, and be the best moms and stuff. And I think it's so encouraging that sometimes our best means changing that pace, going with the slow, right? And instead of this slow, that the world has created that says you gotta go and keep up and chase the next thing.
Starting point is 00:49:01 So I found that so encouraging what you're saying, and what it is, what to me the through line is, is it's basically saying like, either Jesus is enough or he isn't. And for me, I've been cornered with that too. Like, either Jesus is enough or he isn't. And so while we have all of these like other pursuits and these other dreams and these goals and I believe they're all God filled and they're all good. It's amazing when you think about Jesus and like, he never, never once in the Bible are
Starting point is 00:49:32 you here in like Jesus ran. Jesus ran at the top of the mountain to go be with God. Jesus ran in his Jesus sandals. Like he was never running anywhere y'all. I mean, Jesus on average they say was walking about three miles per hour and you can imagine that that pace, at that rhythm, you can imagine that he saw a lot. He was available to the people that would come into his left, to the right, people would see him, and he was able to reach people that way and notice the beauty and the goodness that was all around. And maybe the trouble too. But if we're going in a million miles per hour, like how are we gonna see it?
Starting point is 00:50:06 We're gonna miss it. We're gonna miss, it's what Don Sheree says, right? You're this, instead of the worldly FOMO, it's that godly FOMO, that fear of missing out on what God's gonna do in our lives when we're going too fast. And I love that we are sort of being cornered in our influencer backgrounds
Starting point is 00:50:27 and through your ministry too, like that we've got to slow down to give others the permission to do that. And so we do talk about that in the chapter with the whole analogy and with the heart rate because there's no way you can go. Your healthy heart rate in a given season is so different than somebody else's.
Starting point is 00:50:45 You've got to consider age, you've got to consider all of the things in your current season that can affect that pace. And I think there's times when we speed it up and we feel like, oh my gosh, there's so much vigor, I'm ready. And there's a lot of times when you're like, okay, time to bring it back down
Starting point is 00:50:59 to that healthy, normal rate for myself. And so I just love that the heart does that in that EKG, like the monitor, you just see that. And there's power in that. I think God uses everything, including our organs to speak to us. You know what I mean? So like you can look at that and just find your pace and lean into that and don't let anything try to steer you otherwise. Yeah. And I think that we just, I think we have to create space and time for ourselves and for others. You know, I think it that we just I think we have to create space and time for ourselves and for others You know, I think it'll be really sad if we get to heaven and God's like you just didn't have any time
Starting point is 00:51:30 You didn't have any time for me or anybody else, you know, and that's a huge Peace of the good life a huge huge piece of the good life in Susanna And I have definitely felt convicted and the reason we moved away from LA was that like The pace of our life the rhythms that we're living in are not like this is not the good life. This is not what a real good life looks like. This is the good life we've been solver, it's go more, do more, more success, more things. And it's just constant opportunity, constant events. You meet all the cool people. And at the end of the year, we would audit and be like But our cup was empty and our marriage, you know suffered and we were angry And we didn't have any time with our daughter and so we were like this is not this is not it And I'm thankful Szan and I were able to taste just enough of that to say like oh, yeah, no
Starting point is 00:52:21 Let's actually let's go back home, you know, let's, let's go back home. There's a lot of good there. And so I believe that, you know, the challenge for our generation is time. It's the weirdest thing. We've done so many things like over the history of the last hundred years to like make our lives efficient, right? It's like, oh, I can sit, like, we don't have to write mail and like put it in the mailbox and wait two days for it to get somewhere.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Like, boom, send an email, it's done. Call somebody, like anything you want. You wanna watch that show? It's on right there. You can turn it on. We've done so many things like to make things instant, but still somehow like we have less time because we're filling our days with these things
Starting point is 00:52:59 that are ultimately distractions from what God is calling us to. And so still, Szan and I feel that wrestling all the time. I think it is a constant challenge for our generation because things are so instant, we have to say, yeah, actually, maybe if I spent like less time watching some of those shows at night, I could actually spend more time
Starting point is 00:53:19 investing in my marriage, right? Or if I spent less time scrolling on TikTok at night, I could give that even hour to my spouse or to my kids. Like, whatever it is. And so I just want to challenge people as well as challenging ourselves. Like, like, we have to learn how to slow down and say enough is enough. Give our time to God. Give our time to others. You know what I mean? It's just, oh, we need it, you know. Yeah, so good. That is so good. And that is such a challenge and convicting because so many of us were like,
Starting point is 00:53:48 we don't have any time, we don't have any time. But I just encourage you because I had to do this myself. Go look at your screen time and look at the different apps you're on. And if Instagram says in hour and TikTok says two hours and snapped at whatever it is, then you might want to look at that and go, okay,
Starting point is 00:54:05 it's not that I don't have time, it's just I'm using my time in such a way that it's not giving back to me, you know? And so that is such a good challenge. Like how are you spending your time? I love this, I love the book and I love what you are saying because it really is just asking yourself the questions of like, is this really good?
Starting point is 00:54:21 Is this really fulfilling? Is this really, and if it's not, let's change it, let's fix it. And so many of us, we don't go to that step of like even asking, am I happy? And then going, well, why am I not? And how can I change it? And I love this is just like, okay, I haven't been happy. I'm not living the good life. I've tasted this. I've seen this. Now, how do I fix it and get on track? We had someone, the talk into recently and they were kind of struggling with some different things and feel like they weren't meeting people's expectations and they weren't,
Starting point is 00:54:52 maybe succeeding like they thought they would succeed and they were just struggling. And I said, I just encourage you to ask yourself the question, what is success to you? Like define success in your mind. I was like, because if it is that, then maybe you aren't reaching that, you know, but if success is bigger than that to you, if it's not based on a number, and if it's not based off a title, but success is really based off of the
Starting point is 00:55:17 things that you're doing in the world, the obedience that you have to God, the way that you love your family, then that no matter what number you reach, and that no matter what title you ever God, the way that you love your family, then that no matter what number you reach and that no matter what title you ever have, will be fulfilling because you succeeded in what your heart, you know, put out to succeed. And so I love that, you know, y'all really stop and said, what is the good life? Like what am I actually trying to do?
Starting point is 00:55:38 What do I, what do I, what do I want my home to really feel like and really be like, what kind of parents am I really trying to be and so you know for those listening I just challenge you think intentionally about those things get intentional about what success is to you What a good life would mean to you what home is gonna look like to your family what the pace of your life would be healthy to keep up with the things that God has Giving you how do you steward that well? This is just such a good challenge, such good motivation. And for those of you who have loved this piecaster, so much more where this came from,
Starting point is 00:56:12 there is an entire book that you can dive into, underlying star, say, whoa, that's good, beside every single chapter. That's what I always do, I always say WTG, beside all the good stuff. But you guys are such an incredible inspiration. Thank you for living your life publicly so that people can learn from it. Thank you for parenting publicly so that I can learn from it too.
Starting point is 00:56:34 You guys are a huge blessing to so many people and I'm grateful that you're on the podcast again. Thanks so much. Likewise, you know we love you, Zaty. Now get your butt down here to Austin so we can have a double day and some meat time. Oh girl, I'll make it. Yeah, we're not far. We're steamy neighbors.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Let's go. Yeah, I'll bring Haven to Oliver and Haven to go on their first date. Oh, there you go. Okay, we'll just like peek through the bushes. Give them their little mouth, give them little bottles and just watch them afar. That's the way it's gonna have to be. We're gonna have to arrange marriages. I get it now.
Starting point is 00:57:09 It's like you meet a cool family, and you're like, we gotta link it. Yeah, we're those people. We're like, well, we want you to marry, because we love family. Like, let's go! I do. Bring that double stroller.
Starting point is 00:57:19 It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. There you go. There you go. Shalera, I'm so excited. You're the best. Thanks for having us on y'all. Always a good time.
Starting point is 00:57:40 you

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