WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Guard Your Heart Without Damaging Relationships | Sadie Robertson Huff | Sisters & Friends
Episode Date: July 11, 2022Sadie's grandma and great-grandma, 2Mama, 69, and Mamaw Jo, 91, are so fun and full of life that you'll be excited to grow older! Sadie kicks it off with a game of This or That, and then Mamaw Jo and ...2Mama bring their wisdom on relationships, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. They get deep into how social media, mobile devices, and even AC have made life easier AND disconnected us from authentic relationships. And they share such good advice about respect, community, and how to guard your heart and value the things that are truly valuable. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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What's up sisters and friends welcome back to the sisters and friends podcast y'all
today is an extremely special day because we got some wisdom up on this couch. We have
my grandma and my great grandma Memo Joe and two mama y'all are these two women are legends
and I love them. I quote them all the time
and whoa, that's good because they just give great advice
and now they're on sisters and friends
so welcome to the podcast.
Thank you, thank you for having them.
Y'all both been on, well that's good.
We have, bud.
We have.
Now you're more relaxed on the couch.
I love it.
I've spent a lot of your whole setup.
Yeah, should I apply the rule that you gave us to your accounts?
Nobody wiped your butter popcorn fingers on this couch. Yes, for sure on this couch.
That and a few other rules that you had a sippy cup too. You were like 12 and yeah, sippy cup and no butter fingers on the public, or it was like not butter fingers, but literally buttery fingers.
So I have noticed with the great grandkids,
I allow it, but I go and I put a towel under them.
Oh, that's smart.
Yeah, so that, you know, I'm like,
you have gotten more lenient with it.
I'm a little more relaxed.
No, like the worst thing is you let them eat Cheetos
in the worst fingers in the Cheeto fingers.
I know, those fingers. I know.
Those fingers, I can't handle, that's bad.
That's worse than that.
That's not just greasy, that's cheesy.
It's cheesy, it's good.
You gotta get to great-great-kids status for that.
That's true.
Apparently so.
Well, remember, you got great-great-kids status.
I don't care what they do.
You don't care what they do.
Now it's just a popsicle, it's everything.
That's so true.
That's so true.
That's so good.
Well, I thought we could start this by a little game called This or That.
Okay.
And this is going to be more triggered towards social media.
So this or that, would you rather search Instagram or Facebook?
What's your app of choice?
I'm Instagram.
Instagram.
I'm a Facebook.
Okay. See, I thought that would probably be the case.
And your friends are probably more on Facebook, right?
Right, right.
Instagram.
Because I see it is more,
as more conversation.
Community conversation.
We're in and I like Instagram, but it's pictures.
Yeah, and pictures and comments based on pictures.
Yeah, that's true.
And I post, I mean, I post on Instagram to go to Facebook. Yeah.
And I will search to see what everybody's saying over there too.
Yeah, you're definitely crushing me into it.
So, I have to say this because Memel Jo has come to battle with me on Facebook.
She has like, defended me and it's my favorite thing ever.
So, for those who don't know, my great-grandma,
Memel Jo's full name is Betty Jo. you're face it Betty Jo I remember this one
time this other old lady made a rude comment on my post and I saw a Betty Jo get in there in that
comment section and got her are you kidding me you gotta believe in Sadie's heart and I was like
yes Betty yes so thank you for going to back for me. This is going to be interesting question. I think two mama will know
this I don't even know if you'll know both of these terms so would you rather
film a reel or a TikTok? Oh I'm a reel. You're a reel. I've got a TikTok.
You're a TikTok fan. I can do I can do TikTok but I don't know
reel seems a little bit easier for me. Really? I don't know why. You're good at
rules and then, Memo, you're also TikTok fans. I have done a TikTok.
Or two. So, you never done a real? You never done a real.
Yeah. So, my cousin, Macy, does TikTok and she did a
generational video with you all and it was the high mom
and it got like millions of views.
Yeah, we take you both a venting dog famous.
Okay.
Are you a like or a comment person?
Do you typically just like a post or do you like to comment?
That is a tough one because I really like to comment because I do like to see social
media as a conversation.
I do like to see it more as that these are friends
who are wanting to know something about my life
and wanting an answer to that.
But sometimes you just don't have time,
you can't comment on all of them.
So then I'll like.
But I really, I like to comment if I can.
That's good.
Even if it's like a heart or a...
I see that.
You're good at commenting.
Yeah.
You're good at commenting too.
Well, it depends on the relationship, I think.
Whether I want to join the conversation or I just want to support it.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
Okay.
Which is kind of like real life.
That's true.
Because sometimes like if you're sitting on a couch and somebody, there's a conversation,
you might just support it just by,
yeah, right.
Or you might say, okay, I need to share my thoughts.
That's true.
And that also depends on the relationship.
And it does, yeah.
You have a good relationship,
you want to like have a conversation, right?
But if not, you might just agree and say,
it's not just cool.
That's great, so for you.
There you go.
Okay, this one is funny.
Do you buy more stuff from watching Shark Tank
or do you buy more stuff swiping up on people's stories?
Okay.
Of those two choices, you know, might as short as swiping up
on people's things, but you know,
I will, when somebody breaks me in something
on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, those kind of things,
I will tend to not swipe there because I'm worried about how it will go to get to there.
Like, I might look it up later or something like that, but except, you know, y'all, I trust you
with the link or whatever. I don't necessarily trust a link.
Yeah. I'm the same way, though, because if you swipe up on something like then that they target
you with those ads. So then I'll just like note it right it down and then go look at that. Yeah,
I'm the same way. That's the wise way. Do you want Shark Tank? Have you ever bought anything from Shark Tank?
No. Oh I've bought things that they have bought into. Yeah, but I wait until someone else tries it out for you.
You're the way, yeah, we'll wait until happens.
Have you all had a funny Instagram purchase?
Like have you ever bought something from Instagram
and been like, why did I buy this?
Mom is kind of debating on one right now of it.
I bought and I think I saw it on short tank.
And so I told mom, you know, your mattress thing.
Yes.
And so I told mom about it and I said,
I love it, it's great.
So I went over the other day and I saw that she had it out
and I said, you know, how are you liking it?
And she said, well, I'm not sure yet.
She's still was checking it out.
The jury is still out.
Yeah, that's wisdom.
Yeah, my age group, we buy so much of an Instagram,
and we get these packages and we're like,
what in the world did I buy?
There was like a thing during the quarantine,
it was like quarantine purchases.
I was just like the most random stuff.
And one time I bought this pillowcase
that said, they was like the best for acne,
you'll never break out, it's so great.
So it was like, great.
So I bought it, months go by, forgot I about it. Didn't get it in the mill.
Honestly, just one of those you clicked like buy. It just happened. And I guess I bought it.
Munch go buy. Get this weird package in the mill. I think it's in my
different language. And I'm like, what is this?
You know, open it is the cheapest pillowcase I've ever seen. I'm like, this is a bunch of false promises.
Oh yeah, yeah. I was probably have had a few of those.
I can't think of them right now, but, you know.
Okay, and then lastly, this is more just with your phone
in general, but would you rather text somebody
or call somebody?
Okay, I have bought into the texting first
then where it's, you know, hey, are you free?
Can you talk?
Yeah.
But I would rather talk to somebody.
I would have a conversation.
Have a conversation, but I understand that in today's world, it's appropriate to text
and then see what somebody's doing.
Yeah.
But like for mom, I'm just going to call her.
Yeah.
That's kind of like the like or comment.
Yeah.
It's like, it depends on the relationship. Right. Yeah, you know, that's kind of like the like or comment. Yeah, it's like it depends on the relationship.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
And it depends on the need at the time too.
Yeah, that's true.
The texting is wonderful.
Yeah.
When you're in a hurry and you can just not take up your time
or someone else's time.
Yeah, for an answer to something.
So then you have to realize the whole world of that has
chased so much.
It's going to be first first started getting self-help.
We first got texting.
It was a little bit offensive to like, oh, wait, you don't want to call me.
You don't want to talk to me.
Because, but now what we realize is because everybody has their phone all the time,
we should not have a phone all the time.
So with the phone rang, literally at our house, there were six kids,
a grandmother and my mom and dad. So in the phone rang that one phone that's on the wall
in the kitchen started ringing, you cannot imagine the mad dash to get everybody one to answer
the phone because especially once we were teenagers because they were hoping it was our
boyfriend. Johnny was calling, you know. That's hilarious.
So everybody made a mad dash in there to get the phone.
Wow.
But now, because you have such access all the time,
you have to know that people aren't gonna be available
all the time.
Yeah.
You know, people only also called, like,
in the evening hours, you know,
because people at work or school or whatever.
And then you didn't call anybody long distance
because it cost money.
So you never talked to anybody out of town.
You know, the thing was if you drove through a town,
you had to stop and call people because you were in their town.
Well, which they get a pay phone.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
she's like, you're traveling through town. Yeah, you'd get a pay phone. Oh, yeah, no, no. She's like, you're traveling through town.
Yeah, you'd get a pay phone.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
And you'd call them while you were in there.
Because it was local.
Because it would cost you money.
Well, and it was very costly.
It wasn't just like nickel or dime.
It cost dollars to call depending on how far away you were.
That's crazy.
Were you ever nervous that like,
two bubble was gonna call you and someone else was going to
answer it like oh yeah yeah you you didn't you know you don't
want that to happen. That would make me want to you wanted to get
to the phone before anybody else did and then of course you're
in the kitchen. So you hope you had a phone with a long cord that
you could go around the corner. Oh my gosh. So it is hilarious.
So when, like, do you all remember the first time
you heard about the cell phone?
Like, do you remember people talking about it?
Like, what was that like?
I do remember that.
The first time, I don't remember probably the very first time,
but I remember when the conversation started happening.
And again, it's a little bit like, seriously, we can't do life without having a phone with us, you know, because you just couldn't even understand that it's such a new concept that you're you're almost thought.
Okay, this is crazy. Yeah, this is ridiculous that we can't go through life without a phone. Of course, then we got the bag phone that was just like huge.
And we thought, okay, there might be a purpose for it on a trip. So the first time we used one was when I was taking the youth group on a long trip. And we thought, okay, well, this could be
valuable. It's in the car. This could be valuable. It could be valuable. Maybe. Maybe. There's hope for
this thing. This bag, this bag phone. And so then time went on,
and I remember my first little yellow cell phone.
And actually putting it to use,
because I was a teacher at the time.
And I started making my calls to parents
on the way home from school,
because we have a 30-minute ride.
And I was like, okay, I'm buying into this,
because I'm getting all my clothes done.
Wow.
So it was a gradual thing, don't you?
Yes, it was.
My first experience was on a trip from Tennessee here
while we were in Tennessee for a while.
And a friend of ours said, I've got a new thing.
It's a phone that you can take with you in the car.
You know what? And she said, yeah, I'll take mine. It was, and it was a new thing. It's a phone that you can take with you in the car. You know what? And she said, yeah, I take mine. It was a bag phone.
And I took it with me in the car just for safety's sake. It made sense to me.
So you could take somebody else's phone too? Yeah.
Yeah. So we did that. Oh my God.
But you have to realize what a difference telephones, the telephones we have and Facebook, Instagram, what a
difference in communication that is from when we were when I was younger, much
younger, and Christmas younger because of the instant communication, the
instant feeling of community with your children, no matter where they were,
knowing what they were doing daily, just what
they're wearing, have a kid's look, all of those things where before it was an occasional
telephone and letters that was the only way that you could keep up with them.
I can even remember when Corey and Willie, your mom and dad were in Italy during their college
years, they did a semester abroad like a lot of kids do.
And at that time, we didn't have cell phones.
We just had phones.
And they're not that old.
So this is all happened so quickly.
So when they would call, literally,
they were, it went for the summer.
So we were at K-Appen, we would all get around that phone
at K-Appen and try to hear them, you know, and talk to them over there. they were, it went for the summer. So we were at camp and we would all get around that phone at camp
and try to hear them, you know, and talk to them over there.
But, you know, it would be days before we knew what they were doing
and then they would call us with the scariest things
that it happened to them.
They did have some crazy stories.
Oh, they have some stories.
They did.
And we didn't know about it.
You know, we didn't know, so we didn't know to worry.
They were like hosting, like, here we are.
Not only like none of that.
There was none of that.
Wow.
That was crazy.
Oh, three days ago, we were gonna train
and we got robbed and blah, blah, blah.
Like what?
She is.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
Okay, so Mimma, I wanna ask you because you do care
if I say your age because you always rock your age.
Well, we just told everybody your age on Instagram.
So I guess you don't.
She's 91, okay?
So we have a lot of years in between us.
A lot of years?
And what I want to ask you is that I think
people on social media these days,
it's like it's become something that I was never intended to be
for a lot of people.
It's become like the place where, you know,
you have to build a platform or you have to be liked
or the place to just like
whatever succeed or be cool or whatever it is whatever our intentions are with social media.
But I feel like you have a different perspective on social media even whenever you were just talking
about likes and comments and stuff. So what do you see social media as? Like what do you
are the amazing things about social media? Well the amazing things as I said is just communication with your family
primarily and close friends. It just we have close friends in Canada that we only
see once a year. But yet we know what their grandkids look like and they
know what's going on here and when we're together again, there's no old news.
It's just all taking up where you left off.
But it's the family primarily.
I think that just gives you such for me.
It's just such joy because I know primarily
what everyone's doing every day.
I have one of my daughter's first-grandchild was born. She was an avid
photographer like your grandmother and she took a picture and posted it
every day. So when he was about two years old, she, my assistant said one day,
Mr. Dix time, she bring a brings that boy into town to her to come by
here and let me see him. I've seen it grow every day for that. For his entire life.
But never seen him in person. So it's really that's really what it gives to us.
It's a daily communication if we want that or it's not even necessary but
still do you know where everyone is at every time?
Yeah, that's something.
And their life and that's pretty precious to us.
That's precious.
I think like nowadays we follow so many people that we whenever me or we don't know or whatever.
Yeah.
And then that's when that almost like comparison game starts and you want to be like someone else.
Yeah.
But then when you think about it like communication and community.
Yeah. True family, true friends,
and then there are some examples of,
like I don't know a lot of people that follow me,
but what a beautiful thing that we've connected
or they've heard a sermon that I've done,
and there's beauty in that,
but I think we can get lost in that pretty easily.
I remember one time you were talking to me about
the difference between how we treat celebrities now
versus how you all use to treat celebrities.
Can you talk a little bit about that? Just like the evolution of fans?
Because like I remember you were telling me one time it was like
Caramers like Frank Snatcher or somebody who was like a singer
and that people didn't freak out or they started to freak out about these people
but that was a really new thing to y'all.
Frank Snatcher was the beginning of that
when girls fainted in the audience
and all this stuff because up to that point,
entertainers were there to entertain us.
They were not idols that we emulated
or followed around the country, that sort of thing.
When we went to dance at one of the clubs and I grew up in
San Diego and when we would go to dance at one of the clubs there we had Tommy Dorsey or Harry James
or Stan Kenton, one of the big bands. They weren't there for us to sit in an audience and praise.
They were there to make us happy. And I think that's where the difference was.
I remember my first semester at school at San Diego State,
that there was a brand new entertaining duo,
and that was, well now I would forget that.
It's one of those brain things, theidians. Oh, I can't.
Well, anyway, there were these two comedians that had just started out in entertainment.
They stayed on campus, outside on the yard, on campus, three hours, and entertain us.
Wow.
Now that was hilarious.
And they went on to become very, very famous.
Yeah. And it, it uh, Dean Martin.
Dean Martin. Dean Martin. And Jerry Lewis. Yes. Yes. Right. And they were just beginning. They were just starting. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That is so cool. So it was a whole difference in the way you looked at entertainers. Yeah. And it. Wow. and it's important because I think that like,
entertainers can't fully entertain to the fullest
of their ability anymore because you could never stand out
in the line of the three hours without security,
without like all of these precautions
because people do idolize entertainers
and anytime you put a human as an idol,
it never turns out well, it never does.
And like nowadays like yeah, there's a lot of fainting happening when someone walks
out on stage, a lot of screaming, a lot of squills.
And it kind of dehumanizes a person, like, for me, I think people might think it would
be cool whenever people freak out over you, but it makes me feel super awkward.
Like if I'm like, in town, and people are like, oh my gosh, it's a really bad person,
which happens.
Yeah. And like, that makes me feel weird, because that gosh, it's Eddie Robertson, which happens. Yeah.
And like that makes me feel weird
because that's treating someone like they're not a human,
you know?
And how do you respond to that moment
when someone's treating you like you're not a human, you know?
And so I do think if we, you know,
can get back to some of that,
I'm just like letting entertainers entertain,
we could appreciate the good they had to get, you know?
It's one of those things that like people say, you can't push the toothpaste out and put it back in.
It's one of those things that I doubt that we can get back to that level. But one thing that I've
seen in aging artists, even when we saw Palma Cartney and Shreveur a couple of years ago,
how unbelievable it was and how for me, that was the, when the Beatles came
on the scene and everybody was crying and feigning, I was in the fourth grade when that happened
and it was like totally fascinating to us, you know, and so they probably were some of the biggest
that started all of that type of fan kind of thing. But then we went to Shreport and saw him, now in his 70s and how umboly was and grateful
for his years of being able to entertain the public.
But you know, there were many, many years for him
that were very hard because of the fan that followed him.
And so I don't think we can get that back to that level
because we've raised entertainers up.
As idols higher. Well, American Idol.
Yeah, it's something.
It's a shame.
Yeah, we say that.
And we live like that.
Yes, right.
Okay, talk to me about TV, because TV's changed a lot too.
So nowadays, obviously, I had every show I want to watch on my phone right here.
And if I wanted to, I could be watching Netflix or Hulu or Amazon or watching a movie right here and y'all could be watching to completely different shows in TV like what was that like or no TV you had no TV did you have a little girl when I was a little girl
No, no, we didn't have TV. Yeah, no, we had a TV
We had one TV it was black and white right and it was black and white until I was probably
Fourth grade maybe I don't remember I don't remember
But it was black and white like a neighbor that had a neighbor. We had a neighbor that had colored TV.
So after the Wizard of Oz aired on that Sunday night,
it always aired on Sunday night.
And they, we were waiting out for the bus stop
and they told us that the monkeys were green.
And we were like, no, they're not.
So that's really, it's hilarious.
It's hilarious.
You can see that.
We didn't know that they were green.
And so, and then I don't, it's kind of like almost like sepons for you guys,
how it evolves so quickly, then after that,
I don't really remember.
Yeah, it just happened.
And now we watch TV, watch the survivor,
we can add all of our shows.
It's crazy.
I feel like what's ironic is,
you know, we built these platforms like social media
to connect everybody
But we're furthering ourselves away from the connection we already had like y'all used to do so much together
Like watch TV together like yes even even I know this is probably annoying at the time
But like having one phone that you shared like you can't have a conversation like by yourself
Which is probably annoying, but still like like, there's so beauty in that.
And I feel like we are so isolated.
Like, the biggest thing the Argentinian talks about
is just the loneliness.
And I mean, that is so true, sad.
Like, but didn't, I don't know when this happened.
So maybe I'm off on the timing,
but when did the air conditioner happen?
Because I heard someone said that they feel like
that had a big part of like
Making people a little bit more isolated because used to before air conditioning people set outside in their porch all the time
That's probably true
But I'm not ready to give up the air conditioner. No, I think we should keep some of that
That was way lamp in Oklahoma
If I remember right we didn't have an air conditioner. We had a ceiling fan
Yeah, you could hear the ceiling fan work.
And so I do think that that is true.
And I think that just means now,
that's one of those things that we have to be more
intentional about now, that just happened
because that's the space we lived in.
Like when you have one TV, three channels,
all those three channels, there was probably two people in the family
who wanted to watch maybe two different things.
So you had to agree, you had to compromise
and you just had to say,
and generally, at that time, it was whatever your dad
wanted to watch.
That's kind of how we did it.
And so, but we all sat down together
and watched shows together
and talked about them and laughed about them again.
What kind of shows did you watch about them and laugh about them together. We want to show you what.
So Ed Sullivan for sure.
Let me tell you something interesting.
We used to watch Perry Mason.
Perry Mason.
A little girl.
Those same shows are showing reruns now on television.
Yes.
Yes, they are.
It's hilarious.
I just think that is so funny.
That's, and how lasting that is though.
And evidently, there's real value in that.
But they wouldn't be using that time to put that on there.
But those same shows that you watch when you were a little girl
are being shown now.
And so what we have to do now, if I put, we do sometimes, we'll say you'll call and say,
we're watching American Idol over at mom, she want to come over.
And so you have to be intentional.
And we all start getting outside, because we all live close together.
So like, we'll walk to each other's houses or whatever.
And I think, yeah, air conditioning's nice.
You get a house, but you're so going to go outside.
You're so going to see people outside and stuff.
One thing I want to ask you about that's different is okay
Y'all went through like a lot of really hard times
memo you especially did like you lived through um
World War two and the great depression where you I guess you were really I was a bit
I was a child very little but some of us is some really hard stuff and then gosh
I don't even know how many hearts have happened throughout the years of y'all being alive and me not
But now we're going through really hard times like now we've experienced sick global pandemic I don't even know how many hearts have happened throughout the years of y'all being alive and me not,
but now we're going through really hard times. Like now we've experienced
sick global pandemic, we're experiencing a war, the threat of war, we're experiencing a lot of
change in politics and all that stuff. What do you feel like is different about how people react
to something like that now versus how it was then because from my perspective it feels like
people back then were a little bit more together on things and like fought through things together
and now it feels like people are like very much against each other like who's who's for who you know
so like what does that look like from y'all's perspective?
Are you looking at me? I'm looking at both of y'all!
you looking at me. I'm looking at both of you. Well, you know, this is really, and it is interesting. But I think, I think that the whole
difference is, is because of the deprivations that my generation and those younger than
I mean older than I am, went through that gave them the resiliency to go through hard times.
Where we've gone through several generations now that have not gone through
a time when you valued things that were important. You know, where we're even just simple things
like the furniture you had. And I don't mean that as a status thing.
I mean, you took care of things because you wanted to make things last because it was
hard to replace things like that.
And we went through times like that when we put value on people and value on taking care of
what we had.
And no one since I have been married has had to go through anything like that.
And I think they did have more of a sense of a camaraderie for the country.
Yes.
Even my grandparents who were from the South
moved to San Diego, that's why my mother was there
to work in the war effort.
And as a country, they fought together or something
where I think your right say today,
we have so such diversity in whether we believe
what we're fighting for and anything that we're fighting for.
And so it does cause, you don't have that same sense of camaraderie that we've not had anything
to bring us together as one as one people.
Yeah. It's almost like you would think that the pandemic would have because we all experience the same thing
but it almost like didn't it for some reason and maybe that's because of
Just social media like like the social life kept going even though the person I've stopped and so
There are some things we didn't have to fully give up like yes Like coming together in some sense
We are so grateful for now because we didn't have that
for a little while.
Like, we're grateful for our own person gatherings,
we're grateful to go to church,
we're grateful to be with family,
but like, there's still so much hatred online,
and so, it's fitting as in so much opinion on it.
Should you wear a mask or should you not?
Should you give us a new, should you not?
And it was like, so nobody was still together.
And like, back in the day, it looked like everyone,
for the most part, was like, hey, like this is who we're fighting for.
They're standing on some common ground, you know?
And like, what's that common ground for us now, I think is what people, I think is what we need to find,
but it's hard to find that when everybody's living such an individual life.
Yes, it is.
Well, and again, you're hearing so much of the opinions. Like I've said
before I said this to you when I was growing up I didn't know if the girl next door to me could
sing. You know that who who considered a whole country and say to yourself why can't I sing like
the yeah you like that you were like oh I thought yeah pretty good. I told her she was.
I thought, yeah, pretty good. I told her she was.
Yeah.
I thought I understand that.
But so today, even though we have had this huge thing that I think even as a, not just
a country, as a world we've all gone through, this pandemic is something that everybody has
experienced, you're still able to read so much criticism and opinions that we didn't
have before.
Like I said, I didn't know what the next door neighbor believe
Yeah, but let somebody around the world. Yeah, so again, we're kind of back to that intentionality about where our thoughts are
And we're focusing on and who we're hanging with and yeah, you know, how do you guard your heart in that space?
You know, I feel like have you all had like I guess intentionality. Yeah, is guarding your heart
But are there other waysality is guarding your heart, but are there other
ways to just guard your heart or even just keep value on the things that are valuable, you
know?
Well, that's it.
Yeah, exactly.
And I'd like to address that too.
And that is that we have lost our civility.
And I think primarily because we've seen so much of that in our leadership
and in people that we look up to and that people are not kind to one another. And that's
so important because that's what kindness and civility is what brings about compromise
and forward thinking. That's good. Where it's just when you don't have that,
then you're just at each other to gain further ground.
Yeah, that's so true.
Mom sent me this article a few days ago,
and it was like why people are losing their mind.
And it was all these accounts of recently,
people just doing the craziest stuff.
Like Will Smith's slap, of course, was in there
and a few other things where people just
somebody punched the flight attendant.
Just crazy stuff.
And you're reading this, you're like,
what is happening?
And then I said to mama,
I said, well, our leaders are so rude to each other.
Like, so hateful, so rude, so disrespectful.
And even back in the day, when I've watched videos
and seen stuff, even though people disagree,
not things, people are so respectful of one another.
And even in just like relationship, Christian, I talk about this. The thing that makes a marriage great is the
respect we have for one another, even in our differences and allowing people to be different
than you. You're so respecting them. And nowadays, like, oh, you're a Christian,
Aminatias, unfollow, cancel, no respect. You know, instead of just being like, no, it's okay
that we think differently. It's okay that we think differently.
It's okay that we live differently.
I respect for you.
You can ever expect for me.
And we just lost respect.
But we have, we have not had a leader that I've seen like super, you know, like show us what I respect.
That's exactly need, and that's where it needs to come from.
Yeah, you follow whoever's in charge at the time.
Yep, who are you following?
Which we say about in our family because our queen of everything,
Mema, you know, her thing, the thing that she says always said to us is
nothing is worth the feelings of somebody else.
And so she raises like that that we treat people kindly and respectfully.
And so it does come from your leadership down and filters all the way down and
still to now our little bitties that were teaching them how to be kind each other
because again and it's kind of back to that thing like we didn't know what our
neighbors believe we didn't share all that. We just respected them for who they
were that they were next door neighbors,
and when they yard, we spoke and we were kind.
You didn't fight over things because you didn't necessarily know them.
Yeah, that's right.
Whatever it was,
we were just going to be respectful to those who lived on our street
and shop with us at the grocery store and go to school with us.
You didn't know.
And that's okay because you don't need to know.
You don't have to have everything.
And that's what I always say to people like there is power and being vulnerable but you
also have wisdom and who you're vulnerable to.
Like I'm all about transparency and interior I'll be transparent all day long but I do
not need everybody to know every single thing I got going on.
Because it's just not even that I don't need everybody to know every single thing I got going on because it's just not even
I don't need to know especially because if you can't sit down have a conversation with someone and
Because whenever you do stuff on Instagram or social media or when it's short
There's just so much room to be misunderstood
But when you sit down have a conversation with someone you can still be misunderstood
But it's a lot harder to be misunderstood because you can talk out all your misunderstandings. That's right. But that's what relationships are.
But social media, although yes, it keeps you connected. It's not everyone on
social media. Do you have an actual real relationship with? So you can't trust
them enough to put out everything that you have. But I love that like that you
said, what was it? Don't the humor of somebody? What
was that? Nobody's feelings are worth hurting anybody's feelings over whatever you're doing.
That's good. I was going to say that humor has become that so much of that. It's like things
are funny when you hurt someone else. So that's the expense and that's not funny.
No, that's not fun. That's like Twitter.'s why I had to get off Twitter like I actually have a friend who helps run my Twitter account because I was like
It's so hurtful. Yeah
people and TikTok too like TikTok. It's like whoever has the rudest comment
But that it's the funniest, but it's really the rudest is the most like so it gets the most attention
So then people constantly are trying to be, you know,
as witty as they possibly can,
but really as hurtful towards the person.
And you're like, this is not funny.
Which is really not new because back,
you know, I've worked with the teenagers
for many, many years and probably 20, 30 years ago,
I was telling them, it's not okay for you to say just kidding after
you said something.
It's just that it's a bigger platform now and more people see it.
But that kind of humor has always been out there.
It's that kind of humor that you know, it's like, oh, just kidding.
No, you already said it.
And you really weren't kidding.
There's something in there.
So, you know, being nice and being kind is,
that is forever true.
I mean, people were, I'm sure very unkind,
2000 years ago, and today,
it's just that this platform makes it so obvious
to see it, you know, you don't.
It's cool that Jesus is worded the same today
as they were years ago.
And I said, like, doing to others,
we have them doing to you.
Like that principle.
So if people quote that, I don't know if it was Jesus.
Like that was Jesus that said that.
I was gonna ask you all, just being Christian women
throughout all this time, like,
how have you felt like being anchored in the word has helped
y'all disremain and who you are? Does that make sense? Do you feel like y'all's faith
has definitely affected how you've aged well? Oh what that's definitely true.
Yes, right. And now they've sent, interesting you said that because I just read that. Really?
Just that, well, it wasn't in those words,
but it was those people who surround themselves
with people who love them and support them
are the ones who live the longest.
Wow.
And I've seen that happen in my family, obviously.
Yeah.
Well, it's so weird to tell that the other day
because you're not the only 91 year old
in the family.
No, no Lou, who's 91 as well.
That's right.
And you're close, close friends.
And then we have another other than their 80s.
And it is crazy.
And mom and I were talking about,
we're like, wow, that's so crazy.
And yeah, like it is crazy.
But you also have lived such a life
to be where you're at now.
And you're not just here, you're like, you're fully here.
Like you're having these conversations,
you're actually on Instagram.
You know what TikTok is.
Yeah, actually a community on Facebook,
like you're living in like fully.
And I think that's the difference.
It's like aging is one thing, but to live,
like why are you aging is like another thing.
Right, okay.
Our great girl's faith.
I see it. Well, one thing about it too, the other day. I agree. I agree. I agree.
I think you all is faith.
Well, one thing about it too, the other day I asked mom,
because she was on my podcast and I said, you know,
one of the buzzwords with moms is this word intentionality.
And I said, I asked mom, you know, when you were a young mom,
for y'all, did y'all think about that word?
And she said, we were intentional moms because that's
just what we did.
That's good.
That's the life we have.
So I'm thinking about that as you say, this being a Christian, I can't think of doing
in any other way.
That's right.
That is just the way we live our lives.
That's the way I grew up.
That's the way I walk out each day.
And so, yes, has my faith helped me make it to this age? Absolutely. I
can't imagine. Yeah. Not having it. You know, what I've seen is like the fruit of Jesus
in your life. Like, there's true love in our family. There's true joy. There's true
peace. Now, there are hard things. We've all experienced other things. Yes. We, we
talked about that. We were all on a group message together saying, I'm so glad we have
a family who gets through hard things. Yes, but like that faith has brought us together time and time again
And I mean people say do you like living cluster family or people ask Christian like was it overwhelming to have like that?
She went to move our family
He's like on the one that went to move our family. He's like on the one that suggested we live there because he was like
No, it's like it's so fun
And I think, yes,
despite the horror where we live and the hard things we go through, having that family,
that six together is like so beautiful. And that's a decent faith because we know like this
world is not our home. And see, it's just powerful. Last thing I want to ask you, gosh, this
has been so good. But two moment, like you are, you have your own podcast, you write books,
you do real, you do TikToks, you're on all the platforms
and like, you also look amazing.
I'm like, that's crazy, okay?
Like, you're so sweet.
No, that is crazy.
You're like, you're doing everything I'm doing
and you're 69, 69.
That is amazing.
And like so many people, I feel like when they get to 69,
they just let their grandkids do it
You know like yeah, y'all do it, but I love it. Maybe I should
I don't say I love that you're doing it because you don't mean that like you know
Like there's so many grand periods that come to my liver child thing and they love it
You know, but I'm like that's awesome
But how cool is it that you're doing the same thing and you're their age?
So you relate more like you understand and there's obviously other people doing that
But you're just like so in it so like what do you think the power is and just staying in it and saying relevant because to me like seeing you
Learn all these things is so encouraging to me because I'm not scared to get old like y'all make me so excited
I'm like hey
Hey, well, I'm sorry, hey, hey, well, change me on this side.
I know you also just said you're new to her.
I'm sorry, you're new to her.
And you're no certain, everything's hurting.
And that's true too.
And I know there are hard things.
I mean, obviously you face loss.
Like that's hard.
You face a lot of change, a lot of moves, a lot of all of a sudden.
Like that is hard.
So not disregarding the age definitely comes with very hard things.
But the fact that you'll
have stayed the way that you're like, I know that's because you're faith and I know that's also because
you keep learning is a cool thing. So speak to that a little bit to the grandma who are listening
who have kind of given up on some dreams. Well, never give up on a course, I have to say, I'm sitting next to my 91 year of mother
who didn't retire until she was 83.
So 84.
That's right.
Correct us.
So I mean, what am I gonna do?
You know, I'm gonna lay down and sit on the couch.
No, I'm not gonna happen.
So I just, I enjoy learning these things.
I have always been like that.
And I have a mom who did, when we were little, my mother,
this is like so weird to me now, but I think that this is just how she is. When I was little, my mom
was a bowler, you know, she was a sheep. How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did you get next? How long did I always saw my mom learn this. I came home from school with my mom and I had a break in the garage.
Yes.
And you still, you know, still be out in your garage.
Just breaking in the garage.
My knees won't let me do that.
So I grew up with that.
And I'm just, I love to just keep learning
and doing new things.
And I'm grateful that I have, even though I've
made my few complaints this morning about some health things,
but I have a good enough health that I can still be and find I'm mom's grateful for I have, even though I've made about few complaints this morning about some health things, but I have a good enough health
that I can still be thinking about.
I'm also grateful for that too,
because that's a big part of it.
So I'm just, but encourage anybody out there
to just keep doing what you can do, you know?
You know, I remember showing up to my mom's house
one day and you didn't have makeup on.
You had cutest little like,
just lounge outfit with a little head headband on and you're like
oh my gosh I'm so embarrassed that you would be over here and I'm going to make up on and I just
love it you're like I gotta put my make up on like and that is something I've seen from both of y'all
like keep putting your make up on. Yes. Looking cute. Keep you know going outside and working
your garage because that's kept going young and like like, I love to that you'll invite young people
into your life.
I know when you did the TikTok,
you asked one of our girls, Rachel,
to come help you with it.
And like, yeah, you might need a call
a young person every now and then.
That's right.
Yeah, we sure need to call an older person every now and then.
So, this has sort of been one of my favorite podcasts ever.
I'm so excited, guys, who are listening to this.
How cool is it?
You know, to sit with just people who have lived
so much longer than you in learn and just grow.
And I also think it just kind of keeps you not,
just not freaked out about like,
where the future goes because just think about it.
When they first heard about the phone,
they were like, that sounds crazy.
This could not, I don't even know if this is a good thing.
And there are so many things we're hearing right now
that are about to happen that are kind of scary, kind of freaky. Is that really a good thing? I don't even know if this is a good thing. And there are so many things we're hearing right now that are about to happen that are kind of scary,
kind of freaky, is that really a good thing?
I don't know.
But man, if you're rooted in faith,
this world is not your home, you're gonna be all right.
There can be peace in the midst of a whole lot
of lack of understanding and all the stuff,
but man, I'm so encouraged to this conversation.
Hopefully we can apply some of the things we learned,
even with social media.
What if we don't look at it as just a place to grow a platform, but a place to really be
in community?
You know, what if we look at TV as not something we just watch by ourselves, but we bring
people in?
What if we stop looking at celebrities as idols, but look at them as someone who's been
given a gift from God to entertain?
I mean, so many of these truths we can really apply to our lives to live a better life
and as we age would
We fully live so so encourage with this conversation hope you are to and you can actually go follow my grandma on social media
Because she is rocking it to tell us where we can find you because I know grandma's are wondering what's your podcast called your book your Instagram all the stuff
Okay, my podcast is called rocking it grand and my
Instagram all the stuff. Okay, my podcast is called Rocking It Grand and my newest book is Rocking It Grand and you can follow me at at Chris Howard C-H-R-Y-S Howard laying back on my mom.
C-H-R-Y-S Chris Howard. Amazing. Well, thanks for being on the podcast. Love you guys and love all of you too. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC