WHOA That's Good Podcast - How to Have Courage in Any Situation
Episode Date: November 24, 2021Sadie speaks with author and TV personality Madison Prewett about her new book, "Made For This Moment," how she decided to audition for "The Bachelor," and how she dealt with the pressure of being on ...the show. They talk about how to find courage in any situation and how God often uses the hard seasons to refine and prepare us. Discovering God’s purpose for us means learning to be content with who God has made us to be. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What's up, what up to good fail, welcome back to what up to good Wednesday.
I'm so excited for today.
I have a good friend on the podcast, one that you might know of yourself.
I have Madison Prue and I'm so excited to have a great conversation.
Maddie, welcome to the podcast.
I am so excited.
This is seriously one of my favorite moments.
You're one of my favorite humans and I've been listening to this podcast for so excited. This is seriously like one of my favorite moments. You're one of my favorite humans.
And I've been listening to this podcast for so long.
So thank you for having me.
Yes.
And I'm so stoked for everyone who hasn't seen this book.
Manny has a new book out called Made for this moment.
I actually got to write the forward to this book,
which was such a privilege for me,
because this girl has a lot to say
that will impact your life. So congrats on your book. That's amazing.
It's been crazy. It's been so wild. I feel like I should have asked you like a million questions
before. Like before the book came out, I'm like, I had no idea what to expect, but honestly,
God has been so good and so faithful and just honestly like crossing my path with women like you
and just having such amazing people,
just being able to speak into this book
and spread this message.
And it's a message that I feel like so many people
need to be encouraged by.
So it has been a whirlwind of emotions.
So awesome.
Did you ever think that you would write a book one day?
Honestly, no, and what's crazy is
I actually started writing this book.
I don't even know if I shared this with you
I started writing this book before I went on the bachelor
Wow, so I started writing this book when I'd actually just come out of a four-year relationship with the person I thought I was gonna
Mary Wow, and it was like one of the lowest seasons of my life because I just came out of that relationship and
At that time every single one of my friends got married. So I was like going through a heartbreak
and I was having to at my lowest of blows like learn to celebrate everyone else at their highest of highs. Wow.
And so I just remember during that season God just laid a message on my heart and just was like I want you to start writing.
And I remember that time I was like what like who am I writing for? You know, one knows like what, like, I had no idea what it was even for, like, what it was even
going to be about, but I just felt like I was supposed to start writing. And when I came
off the bachelor and I got reached out to by agencies and publishing companies, that
was kind of when I picked the message back up. And I was able to really incorporate, like,
what I had learned in that past year.
And like, you know, what other people had been asking me and, you know, the questions that I could
see so many wrestling with and struggling with. And I got to kind of incorporate that back into
the message. But it's crazy, like, thinking back because it was such like, I don't know, I feel
like a warm up and kind of like getting me ready before the book release. And even before like anyone even knew who the heck Maddie was,
just kind of in a season of my life when I was going through a lot of pain.
And I just felt like God was putting just a lot of messages on my heart.
And so I just started writing then.
But I never in a million years as a young girl would have imagined that I was gonna write a book.
I didn't feel like I really had anything to share.
I was like, I don't know. I'm just kind of a ball energy.
I'll just like walk around and just put smiles on people's faces,
but I never imagined that I would be able to like have the discipline to sit down and actually write a book.
Yeah. Because it's intense.
That's awesome. That is so cool.
Well, you know, it's cool. I think God does often give you a warm up lap.
I think normally you just don't realize
that's what you're doing, you know?
And normally it is in some of the hardest seasons
of your life that the greatest things come from.
And so if you're in the hardest season of your life
and you're listening, don't count this season out.
This can be got stewarding something in you
that's going to eventually come out of you
and touch many people.
Well, I have to ask you the question.
I ask every single person on this podcast and that is what is the greatest piece of advice that you've ever been given.
I know it's an intimidating question, but first thing that pops to your mind.
Okay, so the first thing that pops into my mind, because I've been given a lot of great advice throughout my life,
honestly, with having my dad as my coach, I feel like he's told me a million things that
I could run with.
But I remember this one piece of advice my mom told me it was a little bit ago and it's
probably from someone else, but so it's probably taken from someone.
But she always had told me everything worthwhile is uphill.
And I just remember that sticking with me,
and I actually shared it when I was on the Bachelor,
because I just remembered, you know,
it was reaching the end,
and I think there was like three girls left in the season,
and I just was facing so much pressure,
and just obstacles, and just like,
God, where are you moments?
And I just remember that quote,
like coming back to my mind, like everything worthwhile is uphill? And I just remember that quote, like coming back to my mind,
like everything worthwhile is uphill.
And I just think about life and I think about,
you know, our identity, our purpose,
you know, what we've been called to do,
make a difference in this world.
Like everything that's gonna be worth it
is gonna come with a fight
and it's gonna come with a struggle and a wrestle.
And it's not gonna just be like handed to you
and placed in your lap without a fight and without a wrestle. And so, you going to just be handed to you in place in your lap without a fight without a wrestle.
And so I think about me and my personal life
and the things that I've wrestled with and struggled with
and even choosing to save myself for marriage
and choosing to fight for purity.
That's something that has not been easy.
That's been really hard.
And where I'm at with my life going on the bachelor coming off
the bachelor so many labels placed on me so many pressures around me so many
opportunities to compromise who I am and to settle or to give in to you know
the pressures of temptations around me it would have been really easy for me
in those moments to lose sight of who I am who got us called me to be and so
even in those moments you, fighting for my identity,
even when it wasn't popular, even when it came with a great cost.
And so I've really clung to that quote,
in that statement that my mom kind of shared with me
and my sister's a while ago.
And it's funny, we kind of use it as a joke in our family now,
like even the slightest little things.
Like, I don't know, we're like cooking,
and it's taking longer than we expected.
And my mom's like, everything worth miles of it. And I'm like, okay little things, like, I don't know, we're like cooking and it's taking longer than we expected and my mom's like,
everything worth miles uphill.
And I'm like, okay, mom, here.
But yeah, that's awesome.
That's such good advice.
I love that.
I love how you've been talking about like knowing who you are.
And I think that's a big struggle
for so many people in our generation
because the whole world is gonna tell you who you are
or who you should be or who you're supposed to be
or who the version of you that would be the most liked and all the things.
And you have such a conviction in like, no, this is who I am, this is what I'm called
to do, this is what I'm not going to do.
How did you come to the place of knowing who you truly are and kind of giving advice to
people who are like, I would love to be like that, but I don't know who I am or how to
even figure that out.
Yeah.
I think it honestly goes back to kind of what
you were even touching on earlier when you were encouraging those listening. You know, if you're
in a painful season right now or a hidden season right now or a waiting season right now,
oftentimes those are the very seasons that God uses to refine us, to shape us, to prepare us
for what He has for us. And I look back to those seasons of my life,
you know, the seasons where it was extremely lonely
or extremely painful or I felt like I was in such a waiting
and hidden season.
Like God, where are you?
Why does it seem to work out for everyone else?
Why does everyone else seem to get the blessing
and the miracle that I'm so desperately wanting
and so desperately praying for and hoping for?
And oftentimes it's in those seasons where that foundation is being laid and I'm growing
strong, right?
Like where that foundation is being laid of who I am, what I really believe, what my purpose
is.
And usually it's out of the spotlight.
Usually it is in those hidden seasons because it's when no one's around where you're really
laying that strong foundation to be able to stand firm when everyone is around.
And I talk a lot about that, you know, in my book, it's just the power of, you know,
the private life.
And for me, it was in those quiet alone moments with God where I really asked myself those
tough questions of who am I?
Who have you called me to be?
Who do you say that I am?
I think especially in the day of social media and there's so many confusing and mixed messages and
you know, low standards and opportunities to compromise and questions of purpose and
misplaced sources of identity. So many things, just so many obstacles in our way and so many things to overcome.
And it is going to come with a fight and it's not going to be easy.
But I think for me, it really took me kind of just having this moment.
I remember I was freshman in college.
It wasn't this groundbreaking moment.
It was literally me alone in my dorm room with God and freshman year of college.
I just remember just weeping before the Lord as I saw so many of my friends who I had
come into college with really start
compromising and start becoming people that I knew that they weren't and I knew I was
going to be faced with a lot of temptations and a lot of moments where you know that was
going to be my reality where a lot of people were going to be you know pressuring me to
compromise and pressuring me to settle and I didn't want to just let my feelings kind of take over
in the heat of the moment.
I wanted to have something that was so much deeper
and so much more like meaningful.
And so for me, it was kind of presenting myself
with some scenarios like, okay, I know I'm gonna be faced,
you know, in a situation where I'm gonna be alone
with a guy in a room who is telling me all of these things
and how am I gonna respond? I know I'm gonna be, you know, in situations around a lot in a room who is telling me all of these things and how am I going to respond?
I know I'm going to be in situations around a lot of my friends who are going to be participating
in something that I don't feel at peace and I don't feel like I'm supposed to be participating in,
but they're doing it and I'm going to feel that tension of, do I give in because I don't want
to be that weird one who's not participating? I knew that there was going to be a lot of temptations and pressures. And we all face that, you know, in different seasons of life,
our, the pressure to be successful, the pressure to be beautiful, the pressure to fit in,
the pressure to be loved, the pressure to be accepted. And I knew in that moment, my whole life
it has been so easy for me to perform and to come from this place of lack, constantly
latching on to people and to things and to, you know, moments of opportunity or moments
of, I don't know, someone trying to give me validation and kind of hoping for those moments
to define me and to give me what I need to tell me who I am to stand firm. And for me,
I just had this moment with God and I was like, you know, I don't want to come from a place of lack anymore. Like I want to know who I
am. I want to know why I'm here. And I don't want to depend on other people to
tell me that and other people to give me that. And so in that moment, I was like,
I'm going all in with you. And since then, I really truly like have been able to
step into any and every environment from a place of
belonging and from a place of abundance and knowing that it's not by my strength or by my confidence
or by who I am but who Christ is in me and what he's done for me and the strength that he gives me
and staying rooted in that and grounded in that. And so it was that moment that changed everything,
but it's the day-to-day moments of continuing to root myself in God's word and continuing to let
the Holy Spirit fill me with His truth and just what, you know, the Spirit gives, just to enable me
and empower me to be able to go out and do what God has called me to do. And so it's one moment that
changes everything, but it's the everyday moments of, you know,
that quiet alone time with God
that really gives me what I need to be confident,
to stay true to myself, and to not let the labels
and the things of the world define me.
Come on, girl, just preach for a second.
That is so good.
I'm like, yes, and amen, I love it. I love that so much about you, that you know so much about who you are because you know
who you belong to.
You're so rooted in Jesus and who he is to you.
And I love how like, when I ask you who you are, what's amazing about it is you don't
say anything about the bachelor.
You didn't say anything about your book.
And a lot of people might know that about you.
They're like, oh yeah, Maddie,
the girl from the bachelor, Maddie,
the girl that wrote the book, Maddie,
the girl that preaches or speaks.
Like that's who they know you to be,
but that's not who you are.
That's what you've done.
That's what you get to do, but that's not who you are.
I think that's a good point for people to hear.
It's like you didn't go to the things that you've done.
You went to who you are. And the mo and why that makes you who you are and not the bachelor
Is because even though the bachelor is a big deal
It's not a bigger deal than the moment you were on your knees and your dorm with Jesus and for people to see that that like you this
Beautiful
Popular girl who loves to wear Jordans and play basketball and has a way to win
It's like Jesus is the most important thing in my life. It's more
important. That moment for me was more pivotal than any other time in my life.
And it's the same. Everybody has that opportunity. Not everybody has an
opportunity to write a book. Now everybody has an opportunity to go on a TV
show, but everybody has an opportunity to have a life
all-terrey moment with Jesus. And so it's so cool to hear you say that. Okay, so
obviously you were on the bachelor and that is a part of your story. I love
though how you made the decision to go because you didn't just say, oh cool, I
got it. Let's go. What did that look like in your life? And first of all, how did
that even happen?
It was crazy, girl.
Like, I can still remember the moment like it was yesterday.
So I actually, like I was explaining earlier,
I was in that season where I'd come out of that relationship.
I was in a season of writing my book.
And I was in a very lonely and hard season,
but I knew that God kept speaking to me.
I'm preparing you for something.
And I was like, what does that mean?
Okay.
And it was honestly so hard because, you know, again, like you have all these expectations
of what you think that's going to look like.
And I can tell you, I did not expect that to look like the vatular.
And so honestly, when that opportunity came, I was like, no, I was
like, word, you've actually lost your mind. Like, let me just
tell you that this is not going to happen. And it's funny
because I actually had never seen the show before I was in a small
group with a bunch of girls. And I remember I came over, we were
going through the book, single dating bunch of girls. And I remember I came over, we were going through the book,
single dating and gauge marriage.
Yes.
And I know, great book.
Great book.
And I remember I was going, I like walk in
and they all have like the book on the floor
and they're like, hunkered down,
like watching something so intensely
and I'm like, what are you all doing?
And they were all watching the bachelor
and they had known like some of the girls
that were on that particular season. And I was like, why are you all watching the Bachelor and they had known like some of the girls that were on that particular
season. And I was like, why are you all watching this show? Like I was like lowkey kind of judging
the more I was like, why are you watching this show? And out of nowhere, you know, they were
all like, oh my gosh, like you, you should go on the Bachelor. And I was like, no, like I've never
even watched her before. I was like, no, I'm not going on the bachelor. And I didn't know, but they ended up applying me that night.
And I ended up, I know, it was crazy.
And I ended up getting a call from the bachelor.
It was like months later.
So I completely forgotten about that moment.
And it was months later.
Get a call.
I thought it was a prank call.
I was like, that's so funny.
I just graduated seminary.
I don't think I'm the girl you're looking for.
Like, I don't think this makes any sense.
And yeah, and I got the call and honestly, like again,
I just was like, no, I'm not gonna do this.
And I remember I called my mom immediately
and thinking she was gonna be like, no,
you're not going on that show.
Like me and your dad do not support this.
Like that's crazy.
And instead, she kind of surprised me.
And she just said, you know, Maddie, like,
I don't want you to ever close a door
before you take time to pray about it.
Wow.
And I was like, hmm, I was like, that's kind of profound.
And so me and my family kind of just gathered around
and just prayed about it for a long time.
Like it wasn't this like overnight emotional, like decision.
It was a very very like thoughtful and intentional
thing that we really brought before the Lord. And I remember my church was going through 21 days of
prayer and fasting. And we really like laid it before the feet of the Lord. And just we were like,
okay, Lord, we need you to make this so abundantly clear that this is what you have for us because
this seems so out of the box. This does not make sense. This does not look like what we would
have ever imagined for my life. So I need you to make it so clear. And at that
time, like I already had people who were gossiping about it, people who were
no longer wanting to be my friend, and people who were saying really mean and
hateful things. And so I knew that was just a tiny little taste
of what I was about to experience.
And I could like already start feeling the weight of it.
And I just remember being like,
Gord, I don't think I'm strong enough for this.
Like, my God.
I genuinely don't think I can take this.
Like this is too much.
I already feel so misunderstood.
I already am feeling so much judgment.
And I haven't even gone on the show yet.
And so I was genuinely so afraid, but at the same time, I had so much judgment. And I haven't even gone on the show yet. And so I was genuinely so afraid,
but at the same time, I had so much peace. And the Lord made it so clear to me and my family
through so many different ways. And I talk a little bit about it in the book, but yeah, I just
knew I was supposed to do it. And I like I said, I had never seen it before. So I really had no
idea what I was signing up for or doing.
But yeah, I look back now and I'm like, it was so good, which is just sounds bizarre to
say, but no, I totally understand.
Because I feel like even this is totally different, but Dancing With Stars was similar
just because it's a very secular show and people were very inappropriate costumes and you're
doing sexy dances and it was like, Christians going on dancing with the stars
and I felt that same, like the judgment people,
talking about me lost a lot of friends.
And it's hard because you're like,
everything in my life is changing,
but I'm not changing, like I need people,
like I'm, but it's hard, I get it.
But going on that show and experiencing
just like hateful people,
I mean you obviously had a ton of people
who love you and support you, but you also experienced a lot of hate, probably friendships that were
harsh or judgemental and things like that, tweets that are mean, Instagram, whatever, whatever you
experience. I think those are the things that keep people from actually even doing what they're
called to do. Like, people have such a fear of like being misunderstood, being judged, someone being rude to them, but they never actually do it. But you knew you were
going to be misunderstood. You knew you were going to be judged. People were already rude and you
still decided to do it. What do you feel like you learned through that process about God,
about yourself, about pushing past, like what other people think to do the thing that God calls
you to do? So I love that question because for me,
I don't think that true courage means that you don't get afraid because I think that
fear is pretty much inevitable. Like we're human and we're going to have those moments
of fearing rejection, fearing what other people think, fearing, am I going to be accepted,
you know, am I going to be misunderstood so many what ifs, right?
And I've been plagued with the what of scenarios
my whole life, right?
And so there was definitely fear,
but I think true God-honored encourage
is rooted in conviction and obedience
where it says, God, it's not about me,
it's all about you.
And if you call me to do it, I'll do it.
If you call me to stay, I'll stay.
Like wherever you lead me, I'll do it. If you call me to stay, I'll stay.
Wherever you lead me, I'll go.
And I remember what really changed the game for me
because honestly, you say, even being real,
I really was starting to care a lot about what people
were saying and thinking before I went on the show.
And I had that moment of just like a killer,
I'm sorry, you're gonna have to choose someone else
because this is really affecting me
and this is really hurting me. And I just remember, okay Lord, sorry, like you're gonna have to choose someone else because this is really affecting me and it's just really hurting me.
And I just remember, I woke up one night
and the Lord kind of spoke to me in a very profound
and one of those ways we were just like,
ow, like that kind of hurt.
And I just remember the Lord kind of just like heart check
real fast.
And I just like kind of had this vision
of seeing myself in heaven standing before God.
And I remember in that moment, it was like,
I was face to face with God and he spoke to me
and he was like, it was like I was presented
with one or two scenarios and it was like, okay,
so either I can be standing before God
and he can show me all the faces of those who are in heaven.
And he can say, good job, my good and faithful servant,
you walked out your purpose, you did what I called you to do, whatever the cost,
whatever came with it, and because of that,
it led to other people's salvation,
it led to other people's freedom,
and it led to my glory.
And the other scenario was,
him pointing at all these faces,
saying these people could have made it up here,
but you cared more about what other people thought
than fearing me me and trusting me. And I know that's not totally true. Like God will use, if you don't say,
yes, God will use someone else and it's not all dependent on me, but I think it was a wake-up moment
for me because it was like, wow, I truly am fearing man more than I'm fearing God. And I am choosing
to care more about what other people think than about what the conviction God's put on my heart
and what He's called me to do.
And so it was a wake up moment for me
and also this humbling and daunting realization
that it's not about me.
Like it's actually not about me at all.
And I was, and I think that's the thing,
you know, that a lot of people miss
is that we think that when we make things about us,
it's coming from a very arrogant and prideful perspective.
Like, oh, you know, it's all about me, look at me.
But I think what we forget is,
no, we can actually make it about us,
even in our insecurity and fear.
Because we're still choosing to say like,
okay, God, you're a good God
and you're a big God and you're a sovereign God.
But I still am like afraid and I'm going to choose to focus more on what other people
think about me and what other people are going to do for me.
And we're making it all about us.
And so for me, it was this realization of I'm a part of something so much bigger than
myself, it's not about me.
If God is calling me to step out of the boat and I have to leave my comfort and I have
to leave my people and what's familiar to me and what makes sense to me to step out of the boat and I have to leave my comfort and I have to leave my people
and what's familiar to me
and what makes sense to me to step towards Jesus.
Just as Peter did when he stepped out of the boat,
to take a step towards Jesus
and what God is calling me to do,
then I'll do that, right?
And so I think I would just encourage those listening,
obviously your step of courage may not be
going on a reality TV show, going on dancing with the stars or going on the bachelor, but your
courage, one step of obedience, one step of courage can lead to other people's freedom and
can lead to other people's revelation of who Jesus is.
And that's why it's so powerful and why there's such blessing that comes on the other side
of obedience.
And so for me, I always like to say, like true courage, like real courage,
isn't just adrenaline or just this rush of emotion,
just this fearlessness that's just paired with foolishness
that I'll just go do whatever, whenever.
It's actually true God honor and courage
is paired with wisdom and rooted in conviction.
And it says, okay, Lord, you show me where I need to go.
You show me when I need to step out and at the end of the day,
it's all about you.
And so wherever you lead me, like, I'm there.
That's great.
Come on, that's such a good word.
It's so cool to hear you say that too because God did something super similar in my life
whenever I was like so nervous to get caught into this and I was honestly the same way,
way over thinking what people said about me, way overthinking what people thought about me,
and I had this moment where I prayed,
I was like, God, I don't want this,
like I do not want this,
like I don't know why you're like adding fame to my life,
just like take it away, this is not me,
and the Lord gave me this vision,
which is so weird that you said that,
and it was like an Instagram account,
and the numbers were like going up and I was screaming,
no, no, no, like I don't want this, I don't want to be seen,
I don't want to be known like that, like that scares me.
And it was, but it was him, it wasn't me, it was like his page.
And the Lord, just like you kindly spoke to me,
it's not about you.
Like it's actually not about you.
It's about people seeing me, not you.
It's about people seeing me through you.
And that revelation that day, that, oh wait, it's not about me.
So therefore it doesn't matter what people say about me because it's actually about you,
gave me the confidence to actually do what I was called to do.
Because I think when it's on you, that's when you feel like so weighty and like the
way that you said.
It's like so weighted that you're like,
I'm not strong enough for this.
But whenever God reminds you,
like it's actually him and he can sustain the weight
because he was meant to carry the glory,
you weren't meant to,
the glory will literally crush you,
but the glory for him, like sustains him,
it makes it, that's who he is,
it's what he's meant for.
Then you can be like, okay, I can do that.
I can walk out to give you glory,
because you can take that.
And so that's just so cool that he did such similar things
in our lives, and that's what he does in everyone's life.
I just want to make that note to everyone.
Like Maddie said, it doesn't matter if your life
looks similar to ours.
We all have to have moments that we face things
that feel like they're gonna crush us.
Moments where we have to be brave,
we have to have courage, moments where you have to come
to the conclusion that my life, if it's about me,
it's kind of meaningless, but if it's about him,
there's so much purpose, so I just love that.
One thing, I mean, you kind of like glossed over that,
I think it's so cool, is that you went to seminary school.
And like your life before the bachelor,
you were like totally pursuing like a life before the Bachelor you were like totally
pursuing like a life of ministry and then like skirt you're on the Bachelor
and like literally I think that that's so cool though because it's a part of
your ministry and I think people like people in college freak out they're like
what am I gonna do in life am I gonna do this am I gonna do that and you literally
just don't know what life is gonna throw out you so you can't figure it all out.
But when you look back at that time, do you think that was kind of God preparing you in
a sense for being made for this moment?
A hundred percent.
Like, it's honestly crazy to me how good our God is and how intentional he is and how
at the time you're not thinking about it because you're just being obedient, right?
Like you're just you're just saying yes. I don't know. I love I love just really quick kind of what
you were saying a second ago because I think that that's so powerful people for people to understand
when it comes to confidence, when it comes to courage, when it comes to all these things that
feels so daunting, unrealistic and hard and the day and age we're living in today
is if it's according to you, if it's by you,
then it has to be sustained by you.
And that's the thing is like,
I can tell you that from my life
and from knowing, Sadie,
like these are not two individuals
that are talking, saying like,
you know, we are so confident just because of who we are
and just because of all these things. And like because of other people's, you know, we are so confident just because of who we are, and just because of all these things.
And like because of other people's, you know, opinions and validation,
no, it's actually quite the opposite.
It's like when I felt the most confident and the most secure is actually when
I literally died to myself.
Yeah.
And I'm saying, Lord, it is all for you.
It is all by you.
And it's all because of you.
And I remember when I was going through college and I was like,
God, what am I supposed to do with my life? I don't know what I was supposed to do.
I changed my major like five times and I had no idea what I was going to do.
I thought, you know, sports broadcasting. I love sports.
I thought, you know, doctor, because like I want to save like help people.
I thought I literally went all over the boards like I hit every area.
And I ended up settling at Auburn University.
I ended up setting on communications, which is funny.
And at the same time, I went through Bible college, through my church,
and got my certificate in ministry and pastoral leadership.
And it's crazy for me to look back at those times,
graduating with a degree in communications,
graduating with a certificate in ministry,
and seeing how it's played such a big role
in what I'm doing now, and like you said, preparing.
And that's why I always, you know,
and why I talk about that a lot in my book
is just the power of preparation.
And it's so cool because I've learned like how you prepare and private will determine
how you perform in public.
And if you aren't taking the time to really like get right with God and make sure that
that relationship is the most important thing in your life, then you're not going to have
like the confidence and the courage and the ability to say yes when that pressure hits
and when you're in the heat of the moment.
And you know, so many people asked me
and that was honestly like when I started writing my book
again and kind of picked it back up
was because so many people when I came off the bachelor
were asking me like, how were you able
to stand firm under pressure?
How did you do that?
How did you stay true to yourself?
Like I wanna do that, but I don't know how to do that. And I got to respond, of course,
like by the power of the Holy Spirit, but also the strength that you saw that you see in public
was directly connected to the decisions I was making in private. And it was who I was when
no one was watching that prepared me to be who I was when everyone was watching.
And I think that's something that our culture just really
doesn't, I don't know, I feel like we really worship
and praise the spotlight moments, right?
Like everyone is like, oh my gosh,
Sadie's on Dancing with the Stars, oh my gosh, Sadie's
speaking at passion, passion comments, like, oh my gosh,
like Maddie was on the bachelor, oh my gosh,
like whatever it is, it's like those big moments
and they're wondering how you have like the strength or the wisdom or the was on the bachelor. Oh my gosh, whatever it is, it's like those big moments, and they're wondering how you have,
like the strength of the wisdom or the courage
or the confidence, and it's like,
well, it's actually because of what you did it see,
that that prepared me for what you are seeing.
And I just feel like that's so important
and something that I want so many people understand
that it's actually in those private life moments,
there's a low moments with God,
where you're discovering who you are, where you're
investing in yourself because when those pressures and those temptations and
the weights of life come at you, what's inside of you is what's gonna come out of
you. So what you allow in, what you invite in, how you invest in matters, and
those alone moments are so important for that. And so I just wanted to touch on
that. But yeah, it is, it is crazy when I look back
and I see just how like every single step
and every single yes was so intentional
and how it's led to where I am today.
It's so cool.
I'm so glad you said that.
And it's so weird,
because we haven't even talked about all this.
And I just also wrote a book
and I wrote all about the private season
versus the public seasons and how so many times
We focus so much on our public life when in reality
It's our private life that makes for those public moments because I wrote this book right before I kind of got
Into ministry and it was called anonymous so good
I love that one. It's so good and it talks about how Jesus had that like Jesus is private years are what made for those public
Miracles and those public moments and yes, he was God, but he was also human
And I just think that's so cool
And you know this thing that we're saying about private time
Prepared you for a public time is really like a practical thing like if you really think about it
You know that like both of us play basketball, right? And everyone knows, like if you don't practice,
you're gonna air ball in the game,
and it's gonna be embarrassing.
And so you practice and you prepare,
and you do your dribbling drills,
and you shoot the ball,
however many times you need to,
and you get ready because the game is coming.
And when the game comes, you wanna know,
I'm confident to play this game
because I've prepared for this game,
because I practice for this game
And it's the same way in life if you're not reading the word and diving in and preparing your heart for the things to come
You're going to get in a game time moment and have to make a game time decision
And if you want prepared and practice you might kind of regret the times that you didn't prepare
Yeah, and I think you see that all throughout life,
like in sports, in so many different professions,
you know, I think you see pilots who do it,
you see athletes who do it, you see speakers,
you see actors, you see so many different people in life
who have been successful, who have made a difference,
who have greatness attached to their name, right?
Like they practice before they just like get out there
and just hope that they have what it takes, right?
Like you prepare, you practice.
And I just think that like you've said
that's such a practical tool for us in our everyday moments
and our everyday life to realize
that it's actually the day-to-day moments.
It's the small everyday moments
that prepare you for the big moments.
And that give you what you need to be able to stand strong and to stand firm and to stay true to yourself
And the world is hard and those big moments for you
Again, may not look like reality TV or may not look like this like crazy thing
It may just be like you're alone in a room with a guy or yeah
You are at you know your school lunch table and everyone is talking
about that girl who's sitting over there by herself or maybe for you, you have the opportunity
to cheat or I don't know what that looks like for you, but we're all faced with those
moments of pressures and we're all faced with those moments of temptation and what's going
to prepare you to be able to stay true to yourself and stay true to your values and your convictions isn't going to
be just you having enough strength in the heat of the moment.
I hate to say it to you, but no one is that strong.
I'm not that strong.
Like now, Sadie's not that strong.
Like we take it seriously to make sure that every single day, like we're being fed, we're
feeding our spirit, we're surrounding ourselves with, you ourselves with life giving godly people who are pouring into us
and building our character.
And so all of that plays a huge role in us being able to
state your to ourselves when all eyes are on us.
It's so good.
And to your point, I think we've been in those situations too.
We've all been in the room with a guy
or at the lunch table when people are saying
that you know just because people have big moments we still have to face those
other big moments in life that those decisions matter and they take you down a
different road. I love in your bookies talk about a friend on your basketball team
and she wrote on her was it on her foot or something next play on her on her
shoe. I love that concept.
Tell us about that.
Tell us about that.
So I had this girl on our basketball team.
She was like, she was just the most incredible human.
She was that person that you just like always
wanted to be around.
And I looked up to her so much.
I think I was at the time on varsity as like an eighth grader
and she was a senior.
So she was like, I like clung to her and
just always wanted to get just you know validation affirmation from her and I just looked up to her so
much and it was actually because of who she was off the court that led me to just look up to her so
much and she had this one concept that she lived by because she wasn't like the most talented one on the court. She wasn't the most skilled,
but she hustled and she gave it her all always. And that was something that my dad loved. It was
like why she was one of my favorite players for my dad. Like my dad was like, I love coaching. Her
name was Olivia. I love coaching Olivia because she always gives her best. But because she wasn't
the most skilled, she would often make mistakes.
And just like, you know, little dumb things here and there
throughout the game.
But I loved her attitude.
She before every single game would write next play
on her shoe.
And I remember asking her,
because I was like, that's kind of like weird.
I don't know, why are you writing next play on your shoe?
And I remember asking her, I was like,
why did you write next play on your shoe? Like, what does that, I was like, why did you write next play on your shoe?
Like, what does that even mean?
And she kind of went on to explain to me,
there's going to be many moments in the game in life,
where I'm going to do something, I'm going to screw up,
and I'm going to mess up.
And it's going to be really easy for me
to really harp on that and to carry that
throughout the game, to really focus on that mistake
that I made, to really focus on letting my team down made to really focus on, you know, letting my team down to really focus on, you know, not being the best that I
know that I can be.
And she was like, I write next play on my shoot to remind myself that I may have made a
mistake here, but I don't want that to cost me the rest of the game.
And so she talks about just the power of the next play.
And even though I may mess up here, like, how can I, you know, flip the page, how can
I focus on the next play and be ready for the next play and be the
best that I can be for the next play so that it doesn't cost me the game and
that doesn't cost me you know it cost my team the game and so I just love that
attitude and I think that it's so applicable to life because I think it's so
easy to carry shame to carry guilt to carry just rejection or whatever it is
around and to really focus on that one thing and it becomes all
consuming. It's really hard to let go of it. It's really hard to move past it. And for a lot of us, we never step into the fullness of what God has called us to do and, said about us, things that we've done,
mistakes that we've made, and we just carry that around and it's costing us our present
and it's costing us our future. And so I just thought it was, it was so profound and just
a good little analogy for us to remind ourselves like, Hey, next play, like you got this.
And even though, yes, there were some mistakes that happened back there. There were some things
that were done back there that maybe you're not proud of,
that maybe you really feel bad about or it's been really hard.
But like God has something so big and beautiful for you that you're not going to be able to experience
if you stay hung up on that.
Yep, that's so good.
I love it so much.
I love that message and it is so needed.
Um, last thing as I want to talk about you have a YouTube channel, which is so awesome
because it's such a great way for girls
to get to know you more, relate more, learn more.
So I'm so good at you do that.
You had a video come out called,
I'm so glad I'm single, and here's why.
And just the title, I was like, this is awesome.
And so many people asked me about my single season of life.
And honestly, every time I talk about it
I'm like I'm actually I didn't do it right
I'm kind of ashamed of how I live my single season because I was just constantly like jump me to the next guy
The next guy the next I should the next I was like I didn't stay single and now that I'm married
I love being married. I love my husband. He's amazing. I love my family wouldn't trade it for the world
But I look back at my single seasons and I'm like man man, I should have like tapped into that a little more. Like the times
that was just me and the Lord, the times that like God was really refining me and things and growing me
and things and I hear about other people's single times. I'm like, that sounds amazing, you know? Like
like that, that's really beneficial to the rest of your life. And so I'm so glad that you're speaking
on that because I can speak from from a place of like, I did it wrong, you know, I didn't do it right and look at you
and I know you're not perfect but you do have a lot of good advice for it. And so to talk to girls
who are in that single season and feeling like it's just a wash because it's not and it's very important.
I think the moment we can start seeing singleness as a gift and not a curse.
Like that is when it really flips the page for us.
Like for me, that was like the flip of a switch of, oh, like God is not withholding good
for me.
There's a reason that I'm in this season and I'm going to choose to see this season as
a gift.
But I love that you said that you're not always perfect.
I'm not always perfect.
I was not always perfect and I still not always perfect. I was not always perfect.
And I still not always perfect in my seasons of singleness
and to be quite honest with you,
that season that I was talking about when I came out
of that four year relationship,
when all of my friends were getting married
and getting engaged, that was,
I began like carrying that label of singleness around.
Like it was something to just like,
I, to hate and it was like traumatizing
and I resented it. And it was like a negative label. And it was a curse. And God, like, you're
blessing everyone else except me. Like, what the heck? And I remember that season was so difficult,
like really, really difficult for me. And many nights where I did, I cried myself to sleep.
And I wondered, God, where are you, God, why?
And I think God just continued to speak to me.
It's so hard for you to see who you are and where you are
and what I've given you when you're so busy looking at
who they are and what they have and what I've given them.
And I actually love this because we kind of talked about
this last time I saw you just the whole idea
of like same team mentality.
And I remember God spoke to me like her win is not your loss.
Like her victory is not your loss.
And just because I've given her this blessing of, you know, of finding her person, of getting
married, that's beautiful.
That's amazing.
But also look at what I'm doing in your life and look at what I've given you.
And I think it's so easy for us to like
give into that trap of comparison.
And I feel like it's really unfair
and it's unrealistic because not everyone's
at the same page in life and not everyone's
at the same pace and just because God is blessing me
with opportunities to be able to, you know,
do this or do that, that my married friends
aren't necessarily getting the opportunity to do. They're getting the opportunity to be married and build a family and vice versa.
And so I just think that when we can stop comparing and competing and start learning to be
content with who we are and what God has given us and learned to embrace that, then we can
start really tapping into the potential and the goodness and the fullness of what God
has for us.
That's so good.
And I think, and it took my mom, like honestly reminding me, I remember there was this
one particular moment I was on the way to rehearsal dinner and I called my mom, ball
and crying and I don't cry.
So she knew that there was something like seriously wrong.
And I called her crying and I was like, hey, I don't think I can do this.
I'm on the way to this rehearsal dinner.
And I just realized like, I'm gonna be the only single one
sitting at this table.
And every single one of my friends
are gonna be sitting next to their husband.
And that's so awkward, that's so embarrassing.
They're gonna all be talking to their husband.
I'm gonna be sitting there by myself.
And I just was like hysterically crying.
And I was like, this is so unfair.
Like this is so embarrassing.
Like, what's wrong with me?
You know, I started thinking there was something wrong with me, like how come it's easier
for everyone else?
Everyone else has found their person and she just like reminded me kind of put me in my
place, you know?
And she was just like, you know, Maddie, you would rather be sitting at that table single
than sitting next to the wrong husband.
You don't want anything before you're ready for it.
And that to me was like so huge because it spoke to me in so many different ways, not just
in relationships, but also in life.
Like, I don't want anything before I'm ready for it.
I don't want anything until it's God's best for me.
And so then from that place, I was really able to, again, kind of take the focus off of
me and put it back on God and just remind myself, I serve a good God, a faithful God who gives good gifts, who loves
me.
And he is not withholding good for me and he is not slow in keeping his promises.
I think that's like second Peter 3.9.
But I just continue to speak like God's word over me, over and over again.
He's not slow in keeping his promises.
He sees me.
He loves me.
And just because they're blessings
and they're success and their gifts look different than mine,
doesn't mean it's better or worse.
And so I think that's just something to just cling to
if you're in that season of singleness.
And this is a season where it is a gift.
You're learning who you are, you're learning
what God has called you to do.
And so just run after that with all of your heart.
And in due time and in due season.
That's right.
It will happen the way that it's supposed to.
And so I just rest in that peace
and not comfort of knowing that.
Maddie, that's so good.
And I'm so thankful that you're like being real about
and honest, like I was just strictly crying
because this was gonna be awkward.
And like you can acknowledge that
because that's real, but also that God is doing something in that time. That's awesome.
And just to speak to your same team mentality, I just want to say on this podcast, I think
it's so cool that we're doing this together because people do live in, I guess, competitive
mindset, comparison mindset. And we're two girls who are doing similar things. Like we
both have written books that
Honestly say a lot of similar things. We were both are speaking both announced TV both have Instagram platform
I'm trying to do this thing and it would be really easy for us to be
competitors, but I just want to say on a recording
Publicly for everyone to hear. I am so glad that you're here. I'm so glad you're doing this.
I'm so glad that you are doing ministry.
Your gain, like you said, is not my loss.
Your gain is my gain, and I can only say that
because I'm not trying to build my platform.
I'm trying to build his kingdom, and you are too.
And so it's not about you growing or me growing.
It's about the kingdom building.
And that is the most freeing thing to be able to sit on the other side of a screen with a beautiful
girl who's doing great things and be able to cheer you on because I can say in
my life I haven't always been like that. And there are times where temptation
comes in and it's like oh like she's doing this and she's doing that and then
that's what I'm trying to do. And like I don't ever want to live like that. I'm
like I don't want to be like that. I don't want to live like that. And any thoughts that come into my mind are not from God. And so I just want to say to you,
I'm so stoked for you. I'm so glad you have this book out. I'm so thankful for the wisdom you
shared in this pie, Kazid is no coincidence. God had you in seminary school and with parents who
you got to learn from and
grow up from and then put you in the spotlight because the wisdom and the words that are coming
out of your mouth are literally going to break chains off people and set people free.
And so I'm so thankful you chose that path of taking the heart out so that all those
people are one day going to walk to heaven with you instead of taking the other out.
I'm so thankful for that. And I'm glad you're gonna walk to heaven with you and instead of taking the other out, I'm so thankful for that.
And I'm glad you're on this podcast.
And just also for the listeners who are listening
who love this podcast and love our conversation,
Maddie's actually doing a book club
and my L.O. sister app right now.
And it's gonna be so,
this is just like the sneak peak of all the stuff
going on in book club.
So if you wanna go through this book with friends,
go buy this book now, go to the L.O. sister app
and join our book club.
Maddie's going to be leading in it as well as I am.
And so come join us in the L.O.S.S.T.R. app.
And Maddie, thanks again for being on the way
that's good podcast.
Thanks so much for having me.
I love you, I value you, I'm for you.
And I'm just blessed to know you
and to get to do this life with you.
So thank you for your kind words.
Thanks for having me and I hope everyone, you know,
who got to listen just feels encouraged and empowered to know that whatever moment they are in right now,
this is the moment they were made for.
Right.
For the moments of yesterday, not for the moments of tomorrow.
Your moments can't be stolen or robbed from you from others or from even the enemy.
It is God our day and you were destined for such a time as this and you were made for this moment and so I hope you feel encouraged by that. So love you
guys. Woo!
you