WHOA That's Good Podcast - Stop Being SO Hard on Yourself & Put an End to Your Shame Spiral | Sadie & Christian

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Christian is ecstatic to be recording with Sadie in her new studio, but before they dig into the DMs, they give us a little life update on Sadie's big bet and why Christian is skeptical, why the Huff fam is going (almost) screen-free this summer, and their new favorite way to end the day: playing rounds of "Angry Birds!" Then they get into some questions from the audience including how to battle shame from past mistakes, how to stop being so hard on yourself, biggest parenting wins and challenges, and being quick to listen and SLOW to respond.  This Episode of WHOA That's Good is Sponsored by: https://sadiepens.com — Stock up on Mr. Pen Bible journaling supplies today! https://www.trymiracle.com/whoa — Get 40% off + 3 FREE towels with code WHOA at checkout! https://drinkag1.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. ["I'm On My Way Now"] What is up everybody? Happy Wednesday. I hope you're having a great week, but it's about to get so much better and I'm biased because I got my boo on the podcast. Yep, I'm back.

It's been a while. It has been, it's my first time in the new, well not in the new, like first time recording in the new studio. I know, I'm sorry that you weren't one of my first guests. It's okay, I should have been, but it's fine. You should have been. Yeah, you saw the ratings lately and you were like,

phone call. I cannot handle him. Get your booty back in there. Every time he goes on this podcast, this boy's ego goes flying full send. Hey, I just say what you tell me. Okay, now before we get into answering DMs, which we're very excited about,

because you guys sent in some like for real questions, Christian was like, wow, we're going deep today. Before we get into all the deep stuff and the good stuff that you guys sent, let's just talk about life lately. What's been up? Maybe we should talk about our recent bet we have going. Okay, yeah.

Well, also we have, for the most part, cut off screens for our kids. Oh, we did do that, actually. We did, yeah. We've caved a little bit here and there. I would say like 90% though, screen free. No, 95% screen free. 95% screen free, which is a huge move for us because before,

Honey loves watching Little Bear and she loves watching movies. And honestly, that was one of our favorite parts of the day is watching Little Bear with her or watching a movie with her. We love stuff like that. But it got to the point where I felt like the screens were affecting her behavior.

Like just. Her temperament was. Her temperament, like she was irritable. She was on edge. She was on edge and we had heard advice that if you know, if you'd cut out screens, it really helps a lot with that. And at first I was like, oh gosh, this is gonna be so hard. advice that if you cut out screens, it really helps a lot with that. And at first I was like, oh gosh, this is going to be so hard.

But literally the first day we did it, it was so fun and so fruitful because we didn't have the screen. We had so much extra time to play, especially that being summer and daytime outside. So we are one weekend to screen free and it's been really nice. It is really nice. I think too, when I hear most people use the term like screen free, I think about the parents who like don't know what their kids are watching. Yeah.

You know, like that are like just scrolling on YouTube. Like they're watching bad stuff. Yeah, or like they're on their iPad and it's like they're playing some game. But I'd not really thought about that for us cause it's, you know, obviously we watch everything with Honey. We don't let her just go watch something by herself. So yeah, it was a new perspective on that.

Because, like I said, Little Bear is such a sweet show. It's such an innocent show, yeah. It was something that Honey was even influenced by in a sweet way. Like Honey will go outside and be like, let's fly to the moon, because she heard that from little bear. And so like-

Or she'll call me father bear and mother bear. And she calls me mother bear. So like some of those things are so cute. So we were like, oh, it's, you know, we don't want to cut it out, but at the same time, and maybe we'll introduce it in like slow ways. And like I said, 95% screen free,

but it's not like something that we just need to be sitting and watching time after time after time because it was making her, like it was like she didn't want to go places because she just wanted to keep watching Little Bear. And I think it's made bedtime easier, it's made waking up easier, it's made leaving the house easier,

it has made everything easier in a week, but also harder in a different way because since we don't have like the, just go watch a movie or go watch TV, we do have to fill the days with like plenty more fun things, which has made it really memorable and fun, but also more exhausting.

So I think by the time bedtime hits, not only are they tired, but we're tired too. Yep, that's true. Well, we can talk about what you were starting with. And then I kind of cut you off to talk about the screen stuff. Well, I forgot about that. We had mentioned that.

That is a great little life update. But another update is that Sadie, in her sweet little mind, thinks that she can head to home run on the local men's softball field here. Emphasis on the men's. To clarify, I didn't realize it was a man softball field because I thought all softball field were women.

I thought you were just playing softball like on a woman's field. So when I was seeing you hit home run at your home run, I thought, oh yeah, it's a woman's field. Like, of course you can hit home run. So then I was like, I can do this. Not realizing it was 300 feet away. And so one night we were laying in bed,

it was about midnight and I was like, I think I could hit a home run on that field. And then he looks at me like, are you literally crazy? There's no way you can hit a home run on that field. And I was like, what? Like the shock to my system with how shocked he was that like I thought I could hit a home run on that field. And I was like, what? Like the shock to my system with how shocked he was that like I thought I could hit a home run. I was like, I can definitely hit a home run

even though I have not hit a ball since like seventh grade. But- I don't know where this like confidence came from. I don't either. And until the other night, I realized something about myself. I know where it comes from. It comes from my dad

it's like this toxic not toxic, but it's like this like false confidence It's like this Confidence that makes no sense like delusional confidence. It's delusional confidence like the other day I was like I could probably do a back handspring on the ground. Why? Why do I think I could do a back handspring on the ground? Cause I can do it on the trampoline as if it's the same.

I can hit a home run. Why do I think that? I don't know. I haven't hit a ball since seventh grade. Not only that, but I never hit a home run even when I played softball. So I don't know where it came from, but like, I wish you could see the inside of me

so you could know, I so believe I can. And so then- And for those of you listening who are like, oh my gosh, Christian is so rude and so mean, how discouraging is he to Sadie? I am not being discouraging, I'm just being realistic. So the field we play on is 300 feet, which, yeah, it's big, but women, women collegiate professional softball players

play on like 220 foot fields. So I'm not being, it's not me being like harsh or mean, it's like, look, the professional people at this sport play on, and you haven't swung a bat since seventh grade. Fair, okay, no, I'm starting to understand. Yeah, I'm just saying for the girl driving, who's like, he is so rude to her.

For the girl driving. I'm not being mean. This has sparked a lot of controversy in marriages, we've heard, because the guy was like, so like there's been guys watching the stories that Christian had been posting and been like, oh yeah, there's no way she can hit a home run. And then the wife is like, why do you think she can hit a home run. And then the wife is like,

why do you think she can't hit a home run? And the guy's like, because she's a girl. He's like, oh, you think girls can't hit a home run? So like, there's definitely been some arguments that we've sparked. But here's the thing, like, so badly do I want to pull this one out for the girls. I think you've actually sparked the arguments.

I have not. I didn't say nothing like that. But what is funny is Well, I have to say back to the confidence thing when I realized I had this confidence problem of delusional confidence was when we were at dinner with dad last week and dad said something along the lines of like I'm one of the funniest people in the entire world Any comedian like I'm funnier. And I was just like, he has that confidence. He really does.

He is really funny. Or then I would do a local thing and he said we have the best speakers and he's his name first. He named himself first. I know, I'm starting to see where this comes from for me. But there are worse traits to have, okay? There are worse traits to have.

I'll take delusional confidence any day. But anyways, so reality sunk in whenever we went to Academy and I bought a bat and some balls and some batting gloves thinking like, I'm about to rip this. After we spent a couple hundred dollars. So we go out in the yard. On a tee, baseballs, a new bat, batting gloves.

So we go out in the yard. And I start hitting. on a tee, baseballs, a new bat, batting gloves. As if this was gonna hit a stick. I started hitting and I'm like, everything in me, like by the way, could not walk the next day, my back hurts so bad. I said all day I felt like a kid and that night I felt like a straight up adult because I was like, holy moly. So I'm hitting as hard as I can and one ball go,

okay, that thing's sent. You know, like that thing, that thing sent. And I told Grigin, let's measure that out. So she had a measuring stick and she wanted to walk it off from the step she headed out to where she thought the ball landed, like in retrospect, like the vicinity of where it was. Maybe give it, give or take five feet.

And it went 157 feet, which is good, but it's literally halfway to what would need to happen. So Christian said, how you feeling about that? I said, well, you know, I feel like I got a lot to work on, but I got something to work with, right? That's great, well, let's see what the bet is. Cause that night we, Sadie had this, this epiphany of like, I can definitely do this.

And I just was, you know, not trying to humble her, but I was just like, there's no shot. So we made a bet and the bet for you was, I said, if you do not do it, you have to post a reel on Instagram of you singing country girl, shake it for me, but opera style It's only my audio the only your audio

Which was worse than the one that I bet him with because I made the bet first and also This is before once again. I knew it was 300 feet So I said to him if I do it then you have to post an iPhone style old-school music video, full out, like dancey or anything, it's the heart of a champion, and tag me to shout out my successful home run. That video will never be created. So, at this point, reality sunk in

when I hit the 157-feet one, and I was like, okay, shoot, and then we asked Instagram to give us a timeline, and some people were like, all the I was like, okay, shoot. And then we asked Instagram to give us a timeline and some people were like, all the girls were like, two weeks and all the guys are like, six months of extreme training. And so I was like, okay, well here's the thing, realistically, I'm probably not gonna train for six months.

I probably will only train for the next week. And I'll give it all I have, but I asked Christian if we could scale it back a little bit and actually go to a girl softball field where it would still be unlikely for me to hit a home run, but he said he gives me a 10% chance. I said, well, that's such a better bet than going on the 300 feet where literally,

I at this point, not in the future if I keep training, but at this point have a 0% chance. Check Instagram, stay tuned for Christian's music video of It's the Heart of a Champion. That video will never come to fruition. So that's basically what's happening in our life. The other update is we started playing Angry Birds every night.

Love Angry Birds. Well, it's like the new and improved Angry Birds, I feel like. It's really not, actually, I bought the new one and it's not nearly as fun, so then I downloaded the OG Angry Birds. Oh, well, we're on the flight coming back from Italy I bought the new one and it's not nearly as fun. So then I downloaded the OG Angry Birds. Oh well. Well we're on the flight coming back from Italy

and all the kids were just kind of being crazy and I was tired of watching movies. We started playing games on the TV and Angry Birds is one of them. And we just rekindled our younger spirits. It's actually been hilarious. You play Angry Birds every night and Christian is- We'll put the kids down and then go sit on the couch

together for an hour. We rotate. And Christian is- Oh, sorry, sorry. We rotate, so if you lose, we rotate. But if you win, you get three wins in a row, then you have to switch. Yeah, and what's really funny is Christian's not nearly

as weird as I am. Y'all probably picked up on that. But when he plays Angry Birds, it brings out this side of him that was probably what he was like in middle school that I've never seen before. And I just highly recommend, this is our first piece of advice on this podcast today,

start playing Angry Birds with your spouse. It is hilarious. It keeps you young. I am definitely a Bible doodler. So if you look at my Bible, you'll see little notes beside the scripture, little stars, exclamation points, the amen, preach that, go word. Yes, even responding to my Bible. I love stuff like that.

Spending time committing to God's word to memory through reading and writing is one of my favorite things to do and I can't wait to take it up a notch with my super cute Mr. Pen supplies. Mr. Pen is a Christian company whose mission is to make pens and highlighters specifically to be used in Bibles with a design that keeps from bleeding through those thin Bible pages and with over a hundred thousand five-star views on Amazon. They are the most popular Bible highlighters and pens out there. If you've ever, you know, put a regular highlighter to a Bible, you know it just does not work. It definitely bleeds through the pages, so it's awesome that they've created something that works. So whether you're just starting or continuing on your journey of faith and reflection or just need something reliable to take notes

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supplies. You'll be so glad you did. It's kind of like getting school supplies. You'll be excited for school. When you get this, you'll be excited to read your word. Now let's get to the real questions. This is going to be a hard pivot from Angry Birds and Bets to some very serious things. So I'll start with a less serious one to start. This question comes in from Elizabeth who asks, what are some good techniques to help memorizing scripture? Elizabeth, I'll shoot you straight. Whenever

I was in high school, I went to a Christian high school and we had to memorize scripture and I was terrible at it. I was like, I'm not good at this. I was annoyed by having to do that every week, which is terrible because that was such a good thing that our high school did. But every Friday, we would have had to come in and have known the scripture other week and write it down. And it needed to be exactly what the scripture was.

And I would always forget, and I would be like so bad at it. But what's crazy is now, whenever I'm speaking on stage and stuff, it's like scripture after scripture just comes out of me. And I was like, you know, that is so cool because in high school, when someone told me to do it, I was not excited about doing it.

I didn't want to do it. But then whenever I started truly falling in love with the word and just reading the word and studying the word, meditating on the word, understanding that the word is active and alive, like I want this in me so that it comes out of me at the right times. It wasn't even that I was trying to like memorize

a scripture, it just was in me. Like I sowed those seeds in my life and whenever I'm, you know, in a situation, it just comes out of me. And so I say it to say, maybe take the pressure off yourself of like trying to memorize a scripture and just meditate on the word and, you know, put all of that in your heart and it's gonna be amazing while you're in conversations

with people, how things are just gonna start to come out of you. I remember, what was it? I was in this interview one time, I was pretty young, I was probably like 19 and I said something along the lines of like, from the heart, so the mouth should speak or no, the heart is like the overflow. What's the verse?

Like the wellspring of life. Like it's the wellspring of life. And I started talking about that. And then in this interview, it was like scriptures just started coming out. And I was saying like, man, like I've put scriptures in my heart. This is so cool.

And I remember that being one of the first interviews that I thought like, oh, I know a lot more scripture than I thought I did. And I haven't been like trying to memorize it. I've just been meditating on it and it's in me and now it's coming out of me. So I hope that can be an encouragement because I used to be bad at that.

I would do all the tricks. I'd write the first letter of each word of the scripture on my hand, try to memorize. I would do all the things and just never was great at that. But once I started loving it, I started knowing it. Yeah, that's really good. And I think even too, just practical techniques, I think they say, I think there's something

even neurologically helpful, like writing, like physically writing things out with your own handwriting. Oh, that's so true, yeah. Yeah, so I think sometimes when you think of memorizing something, you just think about reading it, and which it is helpful to meditate on it and to study it and to like listen to it spoken over you.

But there is also something super helpful, like you yourself writing it out to learn it that way. Yeah, whenever I write messages and I really want to know them before I preach them, I will write it out on my notebook, like the whole message. I will type it out on my computer, then I will read it, like verbally read it and record it, and then listen to myself back as I say what I wrote.

And that's like a lot of work, obviously, to write it out, type it out, read it, listen to it. But that is a very, it's always been very successful in really locking it in my heart and locking it in my mind because I don't like to go up with notes whenever I speak because I want to flow. I want to be able to just like go with it. But then there are some times where I feel like God put a message on my heart.

I want to actually deliver that message. I just don't want to get caught up in notes. And so that's kind of my method for not just like memorizing. I would say like locking it in for me. So yeah, if you write it out in your handwriting, type it out, verbally say it, listen to your own voice saying those words definitely helps a lot. And for me, I'm big on like imitation. So sometimes like, for instance, I could think about, you know, a Priscilla Shire message and remember what she said because of the inflection

that she said it with. And so sometimes when I'm memorizing something, if I say it to myself and record myself saying it in a certain way, I'll remember it because of the way I said it. So practical example, like, for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. If you record yourself saying,

for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. If you record yourself saying, for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, like just the inflection part of it, that helps me memorize it because I'm like anticipating how you say it, you know? Those are like helpful tips for me. Okay, let's get a little bit more serious. This is from someone named Ada, Okay, let's get a little bit more serious. This is from someone named Ada, and maybe I shouldn't say everyone's name on this,

but I'm not gonna say your last name or your whole name. So that way, just in case you wanted it to be private, it can stay private. But someone said, "'How do you get over someone that you thought "'that you were gonna marry?' And this stuck out to me because this week actually, I talked to someone who just got out of a relationship

with a girl that he thought he was gonna marry. And it was really hard. He had kind of noticed that it wasn't the best relationship and not because he had this epiphany, but because everyone around him was like, hey, this is just not it for you. And then as people started kind of saying it, his family was saying it, his friends were saying it,

he started kind of realizing some of the things in their relationship that just wasn't God's best for them. So he got out of it, but he said, you know, the honest truth is this is really hard, you know? Like it's very hard because he thought he was gonna marry her and he realizes now that that's probably not the best choice, that that's not what God has for him. But it's still hard because that was, you know,

where he saw his future going. And he was, I guess, 16. Yeah, he's 16. And I can relate to him so much because I remember whenever I was 17 in a relationship, I thought I was gonna marry this person. And what's hard about that is, you know, once you think you're gonna marry someone,

you go like into future planning in your mind, like this is who I'm gonna marry. And then whenever you break up with them, it's so hard because you feel so lost and like what's next for me, because your whole future now has just shifted. Like the plans you thought you had are all gone. And so the future seems like so unclear and so unknown. So it's hard for so many

different reasons. But what I told him was I said, look, you're only you're gonna marry one person, right? And if you were with this person and you know for sure she's not the right person for you and she's not the person who's going to be your wife and that's not who you're gonna marry, and you just need to know that there is someone out there that you are gonna marry, and every breakup is getting you to that person, right? That breakup is getting you to that right person.

And I said, even though it's so hard, do you know that you know that that wasn't right for you? And he said, yes. I said, well then, what I encourage you to do is just surround yourself with people who also know that to be true. And as you are going through those hard days and you're missing that person,

you're wanting to go back, let them speak into your future. Let them speak into who you are now and don't go back to something that you know is not gonna be the end result because essentially you're just wasting time. Don't go back to something if you know that's not the person that you know

you're supposed to marry or know you're gonna marry. And I said, I't go back to something if you know that's not the person that you know you're supposed to marry or know you're gonna marry. And I said, I hope that my story can be an encouragement to you because I remember feeling that where you're at and feeling like so hurt and so broken and so confused and not sure what's next. But now here I am 10 years later and married to the most amazing man sitting right beside me.

I have two beautiful daughters. We have the sweetest little family that I'm so, so grateful for. And that breakup, although so painful and so hard, led me to where I was going and led me to the man I was gonna marry. And it doesn't make sense in the moment and you can't see the future,

but those are the times that you really have to lean in and trust God with your next step, with your next relationship, and just really lean into what He has for you in the now and let Him heal you of that past relationship so that when the future one comes, you're ready to step into it. So that's kind of like a messy answer for this question,

but it's kind of a messy situation. It's hard, I can't sugarcoat that it hurts, no matter if you're 16, 17, or 25, you know, 35, it doesn't matter, like whatever age you are, when you plan your future with someone that gets stripped from you, it feels really scary and it hurts really bad, especially if you love that person. But if it's not the person you're gonna marry

and you know that, then, you know, don't waste time there. Keep taking your next step forward and the person who God has for you, you wanna be ready for them. And you don't wanna be in this limbo between back and forth. You wanna be ready to actually step in to the relationship that God has for you in the future.

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All right, Christian, let's get a question for you to hit on. Okay, hit me. Okay, this is a tough one. How to battle shame from your sins in the past. That is a very tough one. Because I think it's true, it is a battle. You know, there's countless things in my life that,

you know, to an extent, I still wrestle with and still kind of battle through the shame of it. But yeah, I think for me, I think the biggest thing that you have to have is people that you can talk through things with when you start kind of facing those moments of shame or insecurity or even just like flashbacks to certain things that you did

that you regret. Having people that you can call, that you can text, that you can meet up with, that you can say, hey, I'm still kind of struggling with this. Can you pray for me? Or can we talk through it and maybe why I still feel shame from it, can you maybe speak into this? Yeah, man, it is a battle. I still go through plenty of things that I dealt with

when I was younger that are super stupid. But for me, what I found is, the older that I've gotten, the people that I have around me that are able to speak into it, are able to speak into who I am now versus who I was then. You know, 2 Corinthians talks about you being a new creation in Christ and the old has gone, the new has come.

And just truly believing that, you know, the person who did a bunch of those stupid things really is not who I am anymore. Because the enemy is gonna try to distort that and lie to you about that, that no, that is still you. Because it is still yourself, but it's a new, like it's Jesus living in you now that kind of overrides all those sinful things that we all still feel the impulse

to kind of divulge ourselves into. But to answer your question, how to battle the shame, I think you have to have people around you that know who you are, maybe knew who you were back then so that they can actually say, hey, this is who you used to be, this is not who you are now. That's been cool for me is having friends now

who never knew stupid 15 year old Christian, but then also having people that are in my life now, just like they are that knew who I was back when I did dumb things, and they're able to see the difference in that and call that out and speak life into that. You know, it's so cool too, because when you say that,

you're like dumb 15 year old Christian, and like so much grace for the journey. Like you're 15 years old, you know? Like, yeah, you make mistakes, but you got, you don't want to let that 15 year old stupid boy, you know, hold you back from being like the 26 year old man that God has called you to be, you know?

And I love, I was actually listening to a podcast recently. It's the Lights On podcast that Carl and Laura Lentz did. Laura. Laura. Yanny. I knew you had to say it. Carl and Laura Lentz did this podcast and it was very helpful.

If you don't know their story, it's pretty intense story. But what was really cool was he was talking about shame. Like how do you deal with the shame of what you did? And he said that God kind of gave him this revelation one day that like guilt is a good thing to feel because you should feel guilty if you're sinning against God. But shame, especially after you've come

under the blood of Christ and like already asked for forgiveness already, you know, are forgiven by God, forgiven by your spouse, forgiven by whoever you wronged. He was like, shame actually can become a selfish thing. And he said, because if I were to just live in shame because of the stupid things I did in the past, and I can't be a good man in the present, I can't be who I could be in Christ in the present

because I would be letting shame rob not only me of that, but everyone around me of who I could be in Christ in the present because I would be letting shame rob not only me of that, but everyone around me of who I could be. And he was like, I just refuse to be the sad guy all the time who made a dumb mistake. And he's like, and it bothers people because he's like, I come in and I'm happy and I have joy. And sometimes it's annoying to people because they want you to be in shame.

They want you to still be the sad guy who's like, you messed up, mope around, you deserve this. And he's like, but I believe I am forgiven by God. And so like, I'm not going to let shame have that. And I was like, that's a really good point. I can see the dynamic being interesting, like being hard. Because I think that like, even for you saying like, sometimes I still do feel shame, I'm like,

I hope you don't, you know, because that's your old self. And like- Yeah, well, not necessarily, I think there's distinct, like there's distinctions between, yeah, like there's guilt, there's shame, there's like regret in a sense. I think it's not like shame, it's more like, yeah, if the enemy tries to like put something in your mind, it's like like shame, it's more like, yeah, if the enemy tries to like

put something in your mind, it's like, yeah, there's obviously things in my life that I regret doing, you know, but not that I still like feel this over, sensing like shame from it. I think Brene Brown says something online, it's been a while since I read her book, but I love her book. It has been a while.

But guilt is I did something bad, shame is I am bad. And so to say I did something bad. Shame is, I am bad. And so to say, I did something bad, you know, yes, you did, you know, and you can get rid of those feelings of guilt from the forgiveness that you also found in Christ. Shame is like, I am bad. Like who I am is bad. And so like, you have to replace that with like,

what I do is bad, but I am forgiven. I am a child of God. I am a forgiven child of God. I am covered by the blood of Christ. So like, I am only good because Christ is good in me, but I am good because Christ is good in me. And so it's coming out of that shame of like just living in that.

And I think sometimes like as Christians, or just as people, like you almost think you should feel shame, like, like, cause that's what people expect that Carl said. That's what people want you to feel. But it's like, don't give them that. Like, no, I'm not going to act like that because that would be denying what Christ did on the cross in my life, you know?

So I don't know. I thought that was like a really interesting, powerful way to kind of look at it. Now that's probably a lot harder said than done. I mean, I'm sure if we had Carl Lentz here right now and we're asking him just like the grittiness of that, there's probably a lot more to it, but. Yeah, for sure.

I thought it was a good piece of advice. That is good advice. All right, let's, okay, this is going. How do I listen more and talk less? Sounds simple, but really hard. Relatable. That is true. Well, I guess probably this would be more on me than you

because I talk more. Well, you definitely do talk more, but I don't like to listen in arguments. So we're kind of like- That's true. Can't slay each other out there. We both hear, we both have arrived. So we're kind of like- That's true. Can't sleep each other out there. We both here, we both have arrived.

So all that to say we both struggle with this sometimes, but I will say so. Our birthday question that we ask each other every year is what something you're taking with you this year? What's something you're leaving behind? And this year, my leave behind was, it's kind of funny, but I said I'm leaving behind moo conversations.

Okay, and what I mean by that is one of my friends watches the show Friends. I knew that was about to sound funny, but one of my friends watches the show Friends and she was saying that there's like a scene in Friends and basically, I don't know who it was, Chandler or something said something about, oh yeah, that's a mood conversation.

And they're like, what's a mood conversation? And he's like, oh, you know, like no one cares what Cal say, mood, like no one even listens. It doesn't even matter. Like, why don't we talk about it? And I think it actually comes from like, there is a legitimate saying, like it's a, what is it? A mood conversation or something?

Like there's actually a saying like that, but in friends it says it's a mood conversation. It's basically just like, don't say something that just like doesn't need to be said. And I think sometimes like for the sake of saying something or the sake of like, and it could even lead into like gossip or it can just lead into like unnecessary, unnecessary like negative talk or whatever it is.

And it's funny because I don't know, I'm not like terrible at that. I'm not like the person that always says stuff, but there is times where I'm just like, you know, they just didn't need to say that. Like that just didn't add anything to the conversation, you know? And maybe it even took away in some sense,

or maybe it was just negative for whatever reason. And so I said that for my birthday question this year. And what's so funny is like, because I said it out loud in front of my friends, I was gonna stop that. I have noticed myself like almost saying something in a conversation or almost saying something in an argument that I think that's a moose statement.

Like I'm not even gonna say it, you know? And so sometimes I think it's just like acknowledging that you do talk more than you should. And saying like, you know what, I'm just gonna pull back a little bit. When I feel the need to say something, if it's not really beneficial or uplifting or good or whatever, doesn't really bring something,

then I'm just gonna hold back. Or maybe I know I struggle in arguments and I don't listen very well. Say it out loud, say it to the person you struggle with it with, and then you're probably gonna feel in your spirit like a little check before you say it. And I don't know why I think that's so funny, but I've like heard it in my head

before I say something like, that's moo. Like don't say it. And it's been helpful. That's good. I've been wondering why you've been like walking around the house saying like moo. And thinking that was kind of weird, but now I get it. Can I clarify, do not do that?

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I talk about it all the time because I really do love it. Friends ask me often, do you really drink AG1 every day? I'm like, yes. I noticed such a difference in the days. I don't have it. I actually have my AG1 right over there that I'm drinking right now for a little afternoon pick me up. I love it.

It's helped me so much as far as just taking vitamins because that was a struggle for me, but it makes it so easy. So if there's one product that I trust to support my whole body's health, it's AG1, and that's why I've been partnering with them for so long. It's easy and satisfying to start your journey with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash woe. Again, that's drinkag1.com slash woe to check it out today. Yeah, I think too, you know, there's also practical ways of like, yeah, if there is a moment where, if there is a moment where, that didn't really help,

if there is a moment where you need to like listen and not speak, you know, if it's in an argument per se, then you can say, hey, I don't want to do this right now. Or like, let's, you know, like let's do this later. When we're working actually clear our head and actually do something or yeah, I mean, if you're listening and you know, you don't need to speak, just internally just say, like, don't speak,

don't say anything, like, just hold your tongue. You know, I love the book of James and it talks all about taming your tongue and how, you know, James uses the phrase, it's a restless evil, and this idea of, you know, your tongue can, it can be like the rudder of a ship and it can guide this huge vessel, this huge vessel, or it can be like a fire

and it can set the whole forest ablaze. So there's good and bad. And I think that, yeah, if you aren't quick to listen and if you're not slow to speak, then you are gonna say some pretty dumb things usually that you will regret. Yeah, so true. I'm sure since people are like,

oh my gosh, what is Christian's birthday question? Probably not, but if you were, just a little, I'll give you a little tease. Mine was not looking miserable when I'm actually miserable. You're leaving behind. That was what I'm leaving behind. Yeah, that is something you needed to do too,

so we were all grateful for that. Okay, but for real though. I don't do good hiding my emotions. He doesn't. And that's okay. And some of that is good, but sometimes when Christian doesn't like something, it's just like,

it's like, you know, you lay it all out there on the court. Yeah. Okay, but what are we bringing with us? Because let's get to the good stuff. What'd you say you're bringing with you? What did I say I was bringing with me? I don't know, but I did write it down.

Hold on. I thought I said I was, it was the opposite of that, didn't I? Yeah, but you can't do that really. That's kind of cheating. It's not really cheating. Remember what I said I'm bringing with me. Oh, you were bringing with you being more positive.

Yeah, see the opposite. In different circumstances. Like if it's a circumstance that stretches you, you want to be more positive, which is really good. And I was bringing with me the contentment I felt this year in 26. I just felt so content and where I was at, who I was and all the things.

And that's a rare thing to feel sometimes in life is just to be that content. And I don't think that that was necessarily, I mean, a lot of it, circumstances were sweet and good, but I think more than that, it was like a heart posture. It was actually probably coming after what we experienced the year before. We went through some hard stuff.

And I think just really grateful for where we had gotten with the Lord and where we're in our relationship and everything. And so I want to bring with me that contentment, which actually leads me to the next question. Someone asked, wanting to be more joyful as a Christian, advice on how to not let circumstances steal my joy. What?

The tough one. That's tough. James one counted all joy in my brothers when you face trials of many kinds. Emphasis on when you face trials. So a friend and I were actually talking about this the other day because she is early pregnant, seven weeks pregnant,

and she started having morning sickness. And so she texted me because if you don't know about my pregnancies, I was so sick. Like people say, oh, you have morning sickness. And I'm like, no girl, I had all day sickness, 24, 7 sickness. I mean, I would get up from the bed at night, go throw up. I mean, it was just crazy how sick I was. And it was really hard. But I texted her and I was just like, you know, stay strong. You're going to be a stronger mom because of this. You're going to be a stronger person because of this, you're gonna be a stronger person because of this, like, you got this girl. And then she texted back and said, you know,

it's kind of crazy because something in me was kind of happy that I threw up because I know why I'm throwing up is because I have a baby in me. And I said, you know, it's funny, I felt the same way. Even though it was so hard being so sick, I felt so grateful because I knew I'm only sick because my body is caring and producing a baby, a life,

you know, and it's leading to one day getting to birth this baby and have a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and all the things. And so it was a really beautiful picture of something that is hard, this trial, like I'm joyful in it. I'm happy with it because I know what it's producing in me and I know what it's eventually going to produce this beautiful baby.

And in the same way that really is what James is saying. James is not just saying like, oh, like just be joyful when you go through hard things for the sake of joy. No, like he actually goes on to say for it's producing something. Can you read that? And James won.

It says, counted all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that? James one. It says, count it all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect. They may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing. Yeah. So like James is saying, you can consider this joy when you're facing this trial,

because through this trial, it's producing a steadfastness in you. And that steadfastness is going to lead to you becoming the complete version that you should be, that perfect person that God created you to be. And so in the same way, when you're pregnant and you're going through all these trials and morning sickness and back pain and this and that,

the other, even though it's hard, you have this inner joy knowing what it's producing. And so maybe you can look at life circumstances like that. This is hard. But man, what God is doing in me in this moment is going to produce something so good if I lean into it. And so I think it's, you know, I think the worst thing to do is just to go through hard things and be like, I need to be joyful.

I need to be joyful. I'm a Christian. I should be joyful. It's like, okay, no, God, show me in this moment where you're at, show me how to find joy in it, show me how to have strength in it, show me what to do in it. And as God works in your heart through those things, maybe joy starts coming out as an overflow

of you knowing God's with you, and maybe steadfastness starts being produced. And I think that verse of joy of the Lord is my strength is a verse that I used to think was like more about just like happiness. And now I realize like the joy of the Lord is your strength in like the really hard times. And when I have a sense of joy

and times that should just be depressing, that's when I know like, man, God, you are a strength. You're a rock, you're an anchor in my soul. And this is I know like, man, God, you are a strength. You're a rock. You're an anchor in my soul. And this is some of the coolest moments in my faith is whenever things like joy are produced out of things that I really shouldn't feel that way in. Yeah, that's good. It's definitely not easy. Not easy. Not easy. It's a journey, friend. It's a journey. When I think back on the pregnancies that I had, I think about all the women that were surrounding me during that time giving me advice for what I was about to step into.

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that's preborn.com slash Sadie. Christian while we're on this topic and I'm mentioning these because you just preached on James the other night and a lot of these kind of come from what you talked on, but someone said, how to get away from being too harsh on myself? Oof. That's a good question. That I'm very harsh on myself.

Hmm. Oh, that would be good advice. You're showing the shirt that I actually, that you're literally wearing. Okay, I'm wearing a shirt right now that says Jesus loves you on the front side, and on the back side, I don't need to get up and. You don't remember it?

No, I do. It says he's not mad, he's madly in love with you. I was meaning I don't need to get up and show it. But it's a good reminder, because I can wrestle with that tension of, yeah, feeling like God's disappointed at me or mad at me or whatever and oftentimes I think that just comes from, you know, myself telling myself certain things.

But yeah, I've had to get to a point where I'm, if I'm saying something stupid over myself, or if I'm start going with something else, I just have to verbally out loud just say no. So that's something that I do. If I start calling myself a dummy or stupid or dumb or an idiot, I'm sure there's other adjectives. Would that be there?

I don't really know what word that would be. I just say no out loud and then I just try to move on. But it is tough because, you know, I, yeah, I can just deal with that inner critic and that negative self-talk. And yeah, it's helped me get to a point where if I feel that kind of coming on, I just kind of say no and then kind of just try to move on.

Yeah, I got Christian that shirt for his birthday with a, well, I got him something else too, but I got you that shirt as one of your gifts with a long letter because I was just like, I wish you could see this over yourself. I feel like God's not mad at you. He's madly in love with you. And that's how I feel too,

and the people around you feel, because I think that you are your toughest critic and harsh on yourself, and you think people are disappointed when they're not, because you hold yourself to such a high standard. But you got to give yourself that grace that God gives you that people around you give you. And I think if you could see yourself the way God saw you,

if you could see yourself the way I see, if you could see yourself the way everyone in your life sees you, you'll love yourself a lot more. And so I wanted him to wear that and maybe you need to wear that. Maybe you need to wear that over yourself. Maybe it's not a physical shirt, but that, hey, God's not mad at you.

He's madly in love with you. The people in your life, they're not mad at you. They're probably madly in love with you. Maybe there's some areas that you can step into forgiveness and ask for forgiveness or confess things so that you can get to the point of really knowing that you're forgiven and loved. But man, maybe you needed to have someone else speak some life over you and you can anchor that

as truth in your life. All right, let's do one more and then we will close this. Let's see. What is the best and most challenging thing about being a mom or a dad? Wow, that's good. Well, aside from like, you know, sleep and travel and those kinds of things,

I would say, yeah, just wisdom on how to like truly parent, like discernment on on when to correct, when to extend grace, when to rebuke, when to do those different things. Because Honey's at the age now, she's three, and she's very, very sassy and very opinionated and very just strong-willed, and we'll get her in trouble.

Like we'll tell her to go do something and she'll say like, stop being whiny. And it's like, what, you know, so just the discernment of like, you know, cause you wanna laugh at that cause it is kind of funny. But then again, you also want to be like, hey, no, you can't, you know, you can't talk to me like that.

And then if she starts to want to fit, it's like, you know, time out or, you know, something else. And just if she starts to want to fit, it's like time out or something else. And just those different nuances of like how to really just parent this little child who is super self-aware, who is smarter than she should be at her age and all those different things. I would say the most difficult thing is the patience in that and just not getting super frustrated

when it's just challenging in those moments. That's true, that's difficult. So the question is the best and most challenging. And so I'll- The best is when, yeah, you get home and she says, daddy, then what's the mean to chase her? And lately I've been doing, at the chiropractor, been doing like the cupping things when it's like,

you know, you get cupped and then it's like the huge, like, it's like where the blood flowed and it looks like big bruises, whatever. But every time I get home, after I do that, like honey comes and tackles me. And she thinks like she gives me those marks and it- She loves it. And she-

The innocence. It's worth the extra couple of dollars to have the chiropractor that I go get care of in case that seeing her joy when she tackles me is hilarious. It's a pro-dad move. Yeah, I think the best and most challenging thing for me, it kind of goes hand in hand where it's the best and the most challenging.

When you see your kids have like the same, like they have so much of you in them. When you see the things that are like you in them, like it's so fun to see those things and some of the exciting things that you see, their little personalities and you see each other and the kids, but then it's also like some of the most challenging moments too,

because sometimes you see the things you struggle with and then too, and then it's challenging because you're like, Oh, I don't want you to go through that. But then knowing that like they're going to go through it. And then realizing that like God placed you as their parent. And even though yes, they're going through the same thing as you did, maybe because they are a part of you, you still like now you overcoming those things, you get to help guide them through them as well through life. Which what an honor, you still, like now you, overcoming those things, you get to help guide them

through them as well through life, which what an honor, you know, what an honor to like, steward a life like that and help them go through those challenges that you went through. I think that's why it's so important, like that you get yourself healthy, you know, because when you become a parent, you're gonna see your kids have so many similarities

to you in the good things, and that's so much fun and so just cool and wild to see. And then you're gonna see your kids struggle the way that you do. And you wanna be able to be at a place in your life where you say, I've overcome these things through Christ, and now I get to show them, slowly but surely. It's not like I'm gonna teach her these things

at three years old, but walk with her and walk with Hayden through those things in life, leading them to Christ, because that's how they're gonna overcome those things. And so, man, it's so sweet. It's so amazing. Parenting is so hard and so beautiful and just amazing. And I know a lot of you are probably not there yet.

A lot of you guys are there, but if you're not there, start thinking about the person that you are now and who you're going to be as a parent. You know, start working towards those things. Maybe you start now and by the time you do become a mom or a dad, you're, you can be proud of the journey you've gone on, you know, so that you can say, I've overcome these things through Christ and I can help lead a family to do the same thing. So guys, we love your questions. Y'all asked such intentional questions. We could go on and on. We have two pages and more. We just printed two pages for this podcast,

but thank you for sending in DMs. We love getting a chance to sit down and answer these questions. Please keep sending them. We'll keep doing podcasts like this. We love you guys and we hope you have a great rest of your week. Stay tuned for my home run on IG

and for Christian's music video. It will never happen. I'll be back sooner than later because we're gonna answer more of your questions and I think you just missed me too much being on the podcast. I did. So stay tuned for Sadie singing, Country Girl Shakin' for Me because it's just inevitable

it's gonna happen at some point. So thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening. And hopefully that these provided you some encouragement and yeah, also just challenge you where you're at. So we are grateful for the questions and hope you'll have a good day and a good Wednesday. Thanks for watching!