WHOA That's Good Podcast - You Can Free Yourself from the Weight of Others' Expectations | Sadie Robertson Huff & Demi Tebow

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Demi Tebow is a speaker and author who was crowned Miss Universe in 2017, she just celebrated 4 years of marriage to Tim Tebow, and today she joins Sadie for a very special conversation about where we can find our true identity and the origin of our confidence — and how to overcome the careless words that have broken us in the past. Demi opens up about a time in her life where her faith was rattled and why she decided that rather than asking, "Why God?" she's learned to ask, "Where can I find God's purpose in what I'm going through?" Sadie shares about an unexpected emotional moment she had in the music studio when she was recording her first song, recalling when she felt absolutely broken — and what helped her feel strong again. Pre-order your copy of Demi's first book "A Crown That Lasts:" https://demitebow.com/ https://preborn.com/sadie — Visit the website or dial #250 and use keyword BABY to donate now. https://madrabbit.com/whoa25 — Get 25% off when you use promo code WHOA25! Get 25% OFF your Abide premium subscription! But ONLY if you text WHOA to 22433. - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. ["Dreams of a New World"] What is up, friends? I hope you're having a great day, but it is about to get so much better because I have a special guest in the house today. Actually, the third time she's ever been on my podcast, which matches for the person who's been on most,

we have Demi Tebow back in the house. Demi, it is a joy to have you on the podcast. I mean, the third time, I am so honored, Sadie. Hopefully I didn't screw this one up. Oh no, third time's a charm. This is the best way. Kind of like being around you. So hopefully, maybe there's a fourth, I don't know.

I think there will be, I definitely think so. But no, Demi is absolutely amazing. You guys know her, I'm sure you already love her, but she actually has a new book coming out, The Crown That Lasts, and I'm so excited for this book. We're actually doing some book stuff later on today, but while she was in town, I was like, hey, can we record a podcast together?

And this is gonna be a special one, because every now and then, you guys know this, I like to go through the DMs that you send and really take some intentional time to answer your DMs and your questions. And so since I've had Demian before, we've had great interviews, we're like, let's take it to the DMs

and actually answer some of these questions that you guys are searching for. But before we do, kind of a main topic that we're talking about today is a lot of identity things because that's a lot of what your book's about. So before we get into the questions, tell us a little bit about your book and the heart of it. Say thank you for having me. I am so honored to be here.

I just love you so much and I genuinely look up to you in so many ways. You have just been such a sweet friend and I and we don't always get to see each other a lot, but when we do, I feel like we just get to pick up where we left off, at least that's how I feel. Same, no. And now I get to join you. I affirm that, it's very true. I get to, that kind of friendship.

It literally just popped when you grabbed my hand. That's a true friend. You can pop my knuckle and I didn't even blink. Well, I finally get to join you in the author club too. So I'm very honored. Sadie, this book, A Crown That Losts, I am really my hope and my prayer for this book is just for every reader to walk away feeling

like they are able to claim their true identity, their God given identity, that they're able to walk in their life's purpose that was created specifically just for them with the utmost lasting confidence. That's awesome. That's so good. And like truly you live that message.

It's funny that you said that about friendship because I was with someone recently, AJ Kirby, I don't know if you would remember it was an event. And so not to put you on the spot, we can cut that out. But I was with someone recently and he said that, you know, I was coming the next day and you were there and that you were like, oh, there's some of our best friends and we never get to see them.

When we do, we catch right back up where we picked up. And I was like, I feel that way. It's like, we don't get to see each other often, but our hearts are so aligned. Like the things that we're going for, believing for, are so in alignment. And so it really is so special to have a friend like you. And your message is something that,

and I said this before in the prayer that I prayed, it's not just something you say, it's something you so wholeheartedly live. And when I was talking to that guy about our friend show, I said, she really is a real life princess. It's just getting to meet and be around life princess. Like, it's just like getting to meet and be around a princess, but like- You haven't seen me at six in the morning, girl.

Okay, well, hey, now princesses are showing that side of themselves, like also Anna. You see Anna waking up looking some type of way, so. Yeah. I'm appreciative of that. Come on, Alvaine. I'm appreciative of that. But no, like, you really are a real life princess,

but the truth is like, you find that identity in Christ as your father, as a king. And your whole thing with crowns, you've literally worn crowns as Miss Universe, but you have such a bigger understanding of what a crown looks like in life. And so for you to speak that over other girls, it's like, hey, you might not have worn a crown,

but this is where your identity lies. I think it's so powerful, especially coming from you. So we talk about identity. You talk a lot in the book about identity and labels and not letting things like become your identity, whether that's accomplishments or whatnot. So I just wanna ask you first, before we dive in, being in this universe, wearing a crown,

when the crown was taken off of your head and passed on to someone else, did it shake your identity? Like, is this message coming from a place of, I went through a hard time and I overcame it, or is it coming from a place of really always kind of being rooted in who you were? I think this message really comes from thinking

that I knew who I was, but I totally rooted my identity in something that was absolutely temporary. And say to the night I handed over my crown as Miss Universe to the very rightful next winner, I left that stage, got in the car, rushed to the airport to catch my flight back to South Africa, and I realized I forgot something on that stage. And it wasn't just that beautiful pearly diamond, you know, crown, sparkly crown. But I realized later on, what I had forgotten, the most important thing was my identity, was the value that I attached to that thing that I got to wear

for a short period of time. You know, I think of like COVID, right? Like when all the planes were stranded and nobody got to fly anywhere, those big Boeings were pretty much worthless because nobody were, they weren't being used, right? And the thing that gave me my value, the thing that people booked me for, the thing that people wanted to talk to me about, the thing that people wanted to invite me to be in the room for, was now gone. And that stripped me of so much of what I thought my value was. And it left me in a season that really felt like a wasted season.

But I later realized, it wasn't a wasted season, but I later realized it wasn't a wasted season, it was a waiting season. And that waiting season actually set me up for my winning season. Well, that's so cool, that's so good. You and Tim, you both, you have such a message in your heart that you asked you guys a question and whatever you're about to say is about to be

straight to the heart because it's so what you believe. And so it's so cool to just hear you be fired up about this message. And I love what you said. Honestly, I went through something last year that was kind of similar. I didn't think, like, you know how you said, I thought I knew my identity

and then whenever I passed a crown and got in the car, all of a sudden it was like, wait, I forgot something. I kind of had that moment last year when it was January and I normally delete social media the month of January, just like a little detox. Then I get it back in February. When I deleted it, I felt like the Lord say, do not download it back, like take a year off,

just be hidden for a little while, take a year with just your family. And so I was like immediately like, okay, like no problem, I can delete this. And then I deleted it and just like maybe the next day or within the day, I just remember all of a sudden feeling like a wave of insecurity rush over me. I'm like, well, what are the people that booked me

to speak at a thing? Like, am I gonna be less valued because I can't post about their conference or what are this person gonna think or what if I am irrelevant when I come back or what if this and that and all the different things and the lies in my head. And then I was like, man, I did not realize that I had attached so much of my identity

to my social media platform, which if you would have asked me like the month before, if I'd be like, no, I don't care, I can delete it. Like it doesn't hold that much value or weight in my life. But then when I did strip it away, I was like, no, I don't care, I can delete it. Like it doesn't hold that much value or weight in my life. But then when I did strip it away, I was like, oh wait. Like I find, I have found too much of my value in that. And I've leaned on that almost as like a help, I guess, in my own confidence, which is like so temporary.

And it's, you know, held by an algorithm and it's not even accurate and like all the things that I know to be true but I didn't realize it had gripped me. And so I actually preached a message two months ago about what you bring to the table. And it was this whole concept of like, what do you think you bring to the table? And if it's anything other than you bring

who you are in Christ, then it's not as big of a value as you think it is. And I kind of challenge people, like what is it that if this was stripped away, you would have to question like, who am I? Am I important? Am I a value? But I think it's so good for you to,

if you're able to strip those things away in some sense, just to really find yourself in Christ. So I love, even though it's hard, that you are able to pass it and then go through this moment of like, okay, you know what, I gotta find my identity. And it's not in that, even though that's what people booked me for,

even though that's what people clap for me for and cheer me on in. Like, I gotta find it without that. And I think for me finding it without social media was so good because I was like, okay, this is who I am without that. And I'm of value to people and people love me not for that or want me to speak of their things for that.

But because of like who I am, that God put a message on my heart. Like I'm not gonna use that as a crutch anymore. And so I love what you're talking about. I've experienced this in my own life. And a lot of people have too. So we're gonna jump into some DMs. First one, this is kind of right on beat.

You would think that I planned this, but I told Demi, I was like, I picked these. I haven't really studied them. I wanted to kind of come from the heart. But this is like perfect, exactly what I'm talking about. This is from Sahara and she says, how do you find identity in a career that is so competitive

and when there is always comparison around? This summer has been so fun just playing all the outside games with Honey and Haven and the sun going down late. It's just been awesome. I love being a mom and finding out how awesome motherhood is through every stage. It's been amazing. But for women with unplanned pregnancies, getting that news can be very scary

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I think about the first time that I actually got to hear Honey and Haven's heartbeat, and such a sense of relief that comes with that, and just excitement that comes around that time, and giving that gift to a mom who's a little anxious about it, or worried, or maybe not sure if she can carry this life. Just to hear that heartbeat can bring

so much peace and clarity. And so getting to provide this is really a huge deal. The solution starts with us and there's a mom out there who needs our help today. So together you and I can help her choose life for her baby and then help her after she has the baby. So please join us in the fight. All gifts are tax deductible.

To donate, go to preborn.com slash Sadie. That's preborn.com slash Sadie or That's preborn.com slash Sadie, or dial pound two five zero on your cell and say the keyword baby. That's pound two 50 and use the keyword baby. Oh, you can speak right to that. It's Sahara. Sahara, I think if we break it down,

and it goes back to what you just said too, Sadie, if you break it down, identity just really means who we are as a person, right? And the simple like definitions, who we are as a person. But who we are as a person is like relates back to the things that have formed us, the things that have shaped us. And that can be relationships, career, you know, friendships, work, accolades, name what you want, being a mama. Like, those things shape us. But the problem with rooting our identity and who we are as a person, and let's call it basically our life circumstances, is that our life circumstances, especially careers, fluctuate. They are not fixed.

They are not always trustworthy. They are not necessarily things that are bigger than ourselves. They are temporary, right? In a lot of ways. And so, Sadie, what I've had to learn, whatever phase of my life it's been, it's my last year of my 20s this year, so next year we go into 30s. But what I've had to learn throughout my life is that if I truly want to have a lasting confidence, I have to root my identity in something that is not going to put me on a roller coaster of questions, of self-doubt, of feeling like I'm not enough, of all of those things that a lack of confidence leads us to.

And what I've learned for me personally, that has been rooted in my faith because that is something that is bigger than myself, that is always trustworthy, that is fixed and that is never changing. And so I would just ask, you know, for everybody listening, like what is the thing that you are rooting your identity in that is bigger than yourself, that is fixed, that is never changing, and that is always, always, always trustworthy? It's so good, such good advice, because the truth is, it's so crazy.

We know that, it's like, we know better than to root ourselves in something that doesn't last, but we do it all the time. Like so many times we try to find our identity, our confidence in our body image, which we know will change, and our job, which is likely to change, and our social status, likely to change. Like all of these things that are so likely to change, and I've probably said this to you before,

but I always think about it like this. It's like putting all the confidence in the world in a foundation that's as fickle as your makeup foundation. Because your makeup foundation, it can look good. No matter how much setting spray you use. For a couple hours. But I don't care how much setting spray you use. That thing is gonna crack, it's gonna get dewy,

you're gonna wipe it off, and at the end of the day, you gotta look yourself in the mirror and that is who you are, right? It's not this foundation you've tried to build it on, it's who you are is underneath that. And so, so many times we try to build these solid foundations on things that just aren't going to last. I mean, especially when you think about

wanting to be confident in your body, you know, and then you have a baby and your body changes, and you have another baby and your body really changes and you learn to love it for what it becomes and it's so much more than the outside, it's really the inside, like the power of what your body can do and then you start to root yourself in something deeper

and so I love that you said that. You gotta build it on something that's deeper, you gotta build it on something that lasts. Great advice and also I didn't put this one in our questions, but someone did say in the DMs, as I was looking through, they were asking about how to find confidence after postpartum. And so I did just wanna speak to that for a second,

because your body does change so much. And your identity changes in a lot of ways too, because you just became a mom, and maybe you had to stop working, or maybe you just had a shift or a pivot, because you just became a mom and maybe you had to stop working or maybe you just had a shift or a pivot. And I would just so encourage you, like in all of the emotion that you feel

and the hormones and all of it, like sit with the Lord, even with your baby. I remember times that I would sit with Haven on my chest in the rocking chair and I would just be crying because of just hormones being crazy. And I would just like listen to worship music and cry and just like feel it, you know? And so, so many of those memories are my favorite to like think back on because I just felt like the Lord felt so tangible and so real.

And like He was speaking over me like who I am and helping me form this new identity as a mom and you know, helping me through those insecurities of what my body has changed in. And it's also cool to just let other people speak into that. Have your community speak into who you are, have your community speak into the things you're going through. I remember my brother-in-law and sister-in-law,

they're very fit people, they love to work out and all the things. And I had all these stretch marks after I had my girls. We were at the beach and they saw my stretch marks and they asked me about them. I was like, oh yeah, that was from having the girls. They were like, because they haven't had kids, they're like, that is so cool. You have marks to remind you of honey and haven. It was really cool to hear their, just their reaction to that,

because something that I was maybe a little insecure in, but they were like, how cool is that to have a marker on your body that represents you carrying your kids? And it really redefined what that was in my mind, and now I've began to love that part of my body because it marks as something that holds so much significance in the most special people in my life. And so let people speak into it

because people have different perspectives than you do and they can speak into it not from a place of insecurity but a place of truth and that is so helpful. So I wanted to touch on that. Can I say something? Yes. So I'm obviously not a mama yet, but my stepmom, a woman that I truly adore so much, she's a neuropsychologist,

one of the smartest people I know. And I was like a teenager, she read like a magazine that we read in South Africa. They had this whole thing about like Botox and fillers and all the aesthetic procedures and stuff. And she wrote the magazine a letter with her opinion on it and it ended up getting published. Wow. And it was so cool. We still have the magazine a letter with her opinion on it, and it ended up getting published. Wow. And it was so cool, we still have the magazine, and in this magazine, she wrote it in Afrikaans, our home language, but basically what she said was like,

listen, we're gonna have wrinkles and frowns, and we're gonna have these anyway, and basically what they are, stretch marks, whatever that is is it is a roadmap of our life so I'm gonna have them anyway I'm gonna make sure that they are not like because of frowns because of frustration but that they are frowns because or like marks because of laughter that they are you know laugh lines and maybe like happy tear lines.

And you know, I'm gonna make sure that the lines that I do get, the roadmap that I do get on my face, on my body, that they remind me of the good moments in life. The day we were just talking about one of our favorite places we've ever been, which was Copenhagen, and all the reasons what made it so special. But one of the reasons was we all got tattoos together and it was so fun. Me, Christian, Bella, Jacob, my mom, mom and I actually both got a wave and it's one of my favorite memories when I look at that.

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I love that. And that's so good too, cause like that's the thing to be confident in. Like you can be confident in those parts of your body because they came from such a sweet place or such a good place, you know? And maybe there's parts of your body that you don't like, they're scars and they're from a hard place.

And even in that, find healing from the Lord. Let that be a mark of a miracle. God can redeem anything. And so, definitely wouldn't touch on that because anytime people tell about first partum, I feel you're friends and that is a journey. But man, it gets so good later on. Just keep the hope and in that moment, as Jimmy said,

that's like a waiting in a way, but it's also so special and so sweet in its own way. So don't miss what God has for you there because you're in the fog. All right, next question is from Abby, and she said, how do you break the chains of constantly people pleasing and worrying about what others think of you? It's good Abby. It is a good one. Abby, I think

You know, we don't always get to choose who speaks about us and we speak about our life but we do get to Control to a big extent who we want to speak into our life. You know, when I think of like a, like a, a plumber box, like I love, I love gardening. I love planting flowers. I love planting herbs. And I want to think that I'm good at it. I actually have no green thumb, a side note, but I want to think that I'm good at it. But when I think of that plumber box, Sadie, like I want to pick the, pick the things that

are going to be good to put in that box. I want to put weeds in there. Like I want to put like rosemary and oregano and we say, how do we say it in South Africa differently? But anyway, I want to put the good stuff in there and I get to choose what I put in that plonner box. If you get to choose what you put in that plonner box, don't go and put the weeds in

there. Don't go and put the poison ivy in there. Yeah, don't be putting that. That's good. Put the good stuff in there. And you somewhat get to choose who you allow to speak in your life. And that's, it's sometimes very like way easier said than done because you read those comments or you hear that person saying that thing or that friend that you really trusted betrayed you. And that hurts because we are human. And we, you know, I think sometimes hurting can be good because we don't wanna be so closed off

that we don't have those emotions. But, you know, it's hard. And I think it's just constantly reminding ourselves of truth and focusing on people that point you to the one and only truth every single time. You have to do it. I mean, truly, I think about just the people-placing aspect. And I remember Lauren Daigo was on this podcast

a long time ago, but I still remember what she said. She's actually been on twice too, but the first time she was on, she said something along the lines is the best piece of advice she was given. It was like, there is so much power when you give people like the, something along the lines of like,

give people the freedom to misunderstand you. And she was basically saying like, just like, it's okay if people misunderstand you. Like, let it go, let them. If that's their perspective, like that's okay. If you know who you are and you're rooted in something bigger and the people around you know who you are and you're rooted in something bigger and the people around you know who you are

and they speak life over you and they're not worried about you, then if other people outside of you misunderstand you or say something, let it fall. Let it fall. And I think that's been something that has really helped me a lot. It's just the freedom of letting people misunderstand me

because people are going to misunderstand me. And so I don't have to always win the freedom of letting people misunderstand me because people are going to misunderstand me. And so I don't have to always win the approval of people. I'm living for an audience of one, and my family and my friends who are actually around me. And when I know what God thinks of me, I know what my family thinks of me, I know what my friends think of me, I know who I am in Christ,

and my family and my friendships, then it's okay if people outside of that don't understand everything or think that, you know, I'm crazy or I'm off or I'm whatever, I'm too far, whatever it is that they're gonna say, it's like, okay, that's not who I'm looking for the approval in. So I love that, give people the freedom

to misunderstand you. Okay, Mallory asks, and I know, let's see, oh wait, I was thinking about a different one. We'll go to Mallory asks, and I know, let's see, oh wait, I was thinking about a different one. We'll go to Mallory next. Mallory asks, how do you stay confident in God's plan for you when you're seeing everyone else live their dream life? Mallory, I think of my little sister, Franya.

I'm actually wearing a little ring with her name on, and it's got her birthstone on the other side. You see it can turn around. It's really cute. Tim gave this to me on Franja's first day of an anniversary and you can wear it as a necklace too. So I was like, it goes with the purple too. I love that.

Anyway, a little reminder of my sweet little sister. You know, Mallory, I always dreamt of being a big sister, whether that was to a brother or a little sister. Like I grew up an only child for most part of my life and that was a big dream I had. Like I would just love to be a big sister. And then I got this phone call from my parents and I write about this a lot in the book. It's actually a whole chapter. But I got this phone call from my parents on my 10th birthday and my parents are divorced. And my dad and my stepmom asked me,

hey, can you go to the fax machine? And I'm like, sure. And I knew Celine Dion was coming to South Africa, and I was like, it's Celine Dion tickets. They're sending me Celine Dion tickets for my birthday. And I'm like waiting, waiting at the fax machine, and the paper comes out and like swallows it and spits it out, swallows it.

And it says, Demi, you are going, and I'm thinking, Selene, you're on contact? And it goes, you are going to be a big sister. Wow. And that was the biggest gift that I could have received. But at Franja's like four months, when she was four months old, she got diagnosed with a brain dysgenesis that was threefold. And a part of that was that sheess cerebellum agenesis,

cerebellar agenesis, which basically just means that she was born mostly, actually, without a cerebellum, which is your small brain. And it correlates and coordinates your whole nerve and muscular system. Well, long story short, that left Franja severely disabled and with severe special needs for her whole life. And she was completely dependent on our family for survival.

And, you know, Sadie, in that moment, like all these dreams I had of like going shopping with my little sister or, you know, helping her with homework or teaching her how to play field hockey, which is a sport that I love playing in South Africa. And, you know, just braiding hair. And all the things that you think of, of like, you know, walking, like being her bridesmaid one day. Like all of the, like, dreams that you have for being that, being in that role, having that thing, having that career, whatever that is, was like really just a rug grip from underneath my feet moment. And the biggest thing that Franja's life taught me,

one of the biggest things, she taught me so many things, but one of the biggest things that my little sister taught me was that, you know, it totally rattled my faith in a big, big, big way. That's another conversation. But the thing that I learned was, I can spend the rest of my life questioning God's plan for Franja's life, questioning His plan for my role as her big sister, questioning His plan for our family. Or I can spend the rest of my life trusting God with her life and for her life and for my role as her big sister.

And I realized that I have to make a replacement. I have to go and remove God why, and I have to go and replace that why with where. Because if you say why, you're questioning God. But if you say, God, where are you in this? Show me where can I find your purpose in this? That is when you start trusting Him. And then, you know, say, I haven't received all the answers. I trust that I'm not going to receive all the answers.

And that right now, I only have a small glimpse of the purpose of Franja's life. And I know that's a very different story to her question, but I think, you know, maybe just asking God, where are you in this? Where is your plan for my life right here? Versus why? Why is other people getting this and not me? Why am I not in this position? Why am I not raising up in the ranks, etc.? With social media these days, man, it is so easy to just scroll all night long, and things like that. So, I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that.

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I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. I'm gonna go ahead and get started with that. Abide is the number one Christian meditation app and its users report lower stress, anxiety, depression,

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That's W-H-O-A to 22433. You'll get additional stories and meditations, premium music, soothing sounds, and more. Support the show and get 25% off by texting WOH to 22433. I think that that's the perfect answer to that question because I love that differentiation between why and where because why is definitely, it's like pushing him out, like why did you do this?

You're mad, but where is inviting him in to it? Like, okay, where are you in this? Where do you have me in this situation? And so even though this is not my dream, or this is not what I thought, and they're getting it, where do you want me in that picture? Where do you have me in this job placement, in this school, in this time of my life?

I love that, what a great, that this time of my life. I love that. What a great, that is a beautiful way to put that. And for you guys listening, it's such a simple shift in your prayer life. Such a simple shift in how you're talking to God and how you see your circumstance. So I love that so much. I feel like this is a really tough one

because one of the things Demi and I prayed before we started this podcast was like keeping at the forefront of our mind that these are people sending in questions, seeking advice. And I think that this is hard because this girl, I think her name might be Bree, is kind of sharing a little bit about her story. But basically she said,

if you were told your whole life you weren't enough by your parents, how do you trust what God says? And first of all, I just wanna say, keeping at the forefront of our mind that you're a person who's genuinely hurt by something that should have never been spoken over you from your parents, you know?

So just, I'm so sorry that you went through that. And how do you trust what God says? I can imagine it would be very hard to trust what God says about you as a father when you didn't have that example and your parents. So just first and foremost, I just empathize with all of you who are listening, who haven't had parents, who have spoken life over you or who have affirmed who you are in Christ. If anything, maybe brought you further away from that. And maybe it's a turn off that God is a father, but I hope that instead of that being a turn off, that is something that you can lean into, you know, and receive that love from God.

There's another question down here that essentially says, how do we remember who we are in Christ? So I'm going to kind of compare, or I guess bring these two together, because I think to know who God says you are and to have a tip on how to remember who you are, you had to actually know what he says, you know? You actually have to study what he says about you. I love, we had, some of you guys probably listened to this, we had Bishop Martin, who was the whole movie of the story of Paul's entourage was on.

And that man sat in this couch and he preached the word. And like verses that I know, but I've never like believe like he said it, you know? Like he would say something that like I've quoted and I've been like, oh yeah, you know, whatever. And he would just like, it was just exuding off of him with like belief. And then he said something that like struck me so heavily.

He said, God stands watch over his word. And I believe every word that he said is true. And I believe he watches for them. He does not let it return void. And I just remember thinking like, well, the power that he like actually believes the words he's saying, the scriptures he's quoting, like they have clung to them, they believe in them,

they've taken them on as their identity. And I think so often, we are like, oh yeah, I think the Bible says this about me, or I think it talks about me being loved, or I think it talks about me being this, or you read a verse and you're like, okay, or you Google something and you miss the context. But no, dive into the word.

It is a blueprint of your life, like where you came from, who you are, who you can be in Christ, what he can radically do and redeem about you, the hope that you have, the identity that you're locked into. I mean, like it is like everything you're searching for, you can stop the search and open the book

and that is where it is. Like stop the search outside of the world, start the search in the word. And so I would just encourage you, like especially if you've heard words of negativity spoken over you, you gotta uproot that and you gotta plant something new. Kind of like Demi said,

like don't put the weeds back in there. Like put something good in that. And so that good thing is gonna be the word of God. And I would just encourage you to dive in wholeheartedly, but that's hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard, Sadie. I recently had an awesome conversation with Lisa Terkurs,

and she's just such a role model. I get to learn so much from her. And she taught me that, you know, trust is built not just over time, but with believable behavior. And, you know, I can't imagine what it must have felt like growing up, feeling, hearing that you are not enough. I'm so sorry that that was something that you had to experience

because so much of our worldview is formed by the age of like 13, 14, and that includes how we view ourselves. But I would just encourage you that trust is built with time and believable behavior. And if you look at Jesus' life and what He was willing to do for you in order to have a personal relationship with you, go and look at His behavior

and you will see that it is nothing but trustworthy over and over and over again. And that's what he wants. He loves you so much that he wants a personal relationship with you. We decided to do something this summer that was really good for us but a little bit hard. We decided to go screen free for the kids. So no TV, no movies, which means a lot more outside playing, which has honestly been so fun.

So, you know, if you are like that too, you're wanting to have more fun, let me tell you about KiwiCo, because it invites kids and kids at heart to enjoy their first summer adventure series. When we decided no screens, we were like, okay, we have got to, you know, replace that with something fun,

and KiwiCo is a great way to do that. Kids from age two years old to teenagers can receive six fun hands-on science and art project kits over six weeks so each with content and activities made to enrich and entertain them. KiwiCo has something for everyone with different topics for each age from space to dinosaurs and pretty much everything in between. KiwiCo encourages kids to get outside learn and explore with a unique and personalized screen free experience. So you can even choose to have your crates delivered over a six week period

or get them all at once and space it out however you would like. KiwiCo does all the legwork so you and your child can spend quality time together, tackling fun projects like the Bottle Rocket Kit, where kids turn the outdoors into an exciting playground of learning and wonder with a real bottle rocket. It can be challenging as a parent to find creative ways to engage with your kids. That's something Krish and I have been going through, you know, with as soon as we went screen free,

we were like, what all should we do? But KiwiCo definitely has you covered with some great ideas, and then also with the products to follow that up. So many fun things developmentally as well that the KiwiCo games have. They might not even notice, but one of the things that Honey got

was this little kitchen thing, and it was making a cake, but it was all divided into fractions. And so it's teaching them fractions and numbers and math. And even though she's only three, she doesn't really understand it yet. It really is cool to start introducing some of those bigger concepts they'll learn later at such a young age and while they're playing nonetheless. So build the best summer ever

with KiwiCo. Get 20% off your summer adventure series at kiwico.com slash Sadie Robb Summer. Again, that's 20% off your summer adventure at kiwico.com slash Sadie Robb Summer. Go check it out. go check it out. It makes me think about, I'm like the worst at, you know, maybe I probably shouldn't say this yet because we're gonna put out this song at the end of the summer, but I can't ever hold messages. I can never be like, oh yeah,

I'm gonna talk about that in two months. I'm the worst at like PR, I guess, because I'm like, let me say it now. But it's so on the forefront of my mind and it's so true to my story and a lot of probably what you guys are wondering is that I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm the worst at PR, I guess, because I'm like, let me say it now. But it's so on the forefront of my mind and it's so true to my story

and a lot of probably what you guys are walking through. But so the song is, it's all about, you know, our identity in Christ. And it actually is called Mirror. So I hinted at the mirror thing earlier. And like, that was a big thing for me. Like looking at myself in the mirror and like actually believing who God says I am.

So it was just interesting because I go into the studio like that was a big thing for me. Like looking at myself in the mirror and like actually believing who God says I am. So it was just interesting because I go into the studio and I'm kind of insecure about singing, but I'm like, I'm ready to do this, this is my story. So I sing and he goes, okay, I want you to stop. And he's like, you're like, you are a speaker, it's who you are, you know, like you share things through your messages

and you can relate to people and how they feel. So he's like, before you even sing this song in the studio, I want you to just say it, just say the words and say it as if it's the first time you ever said it and you're preaching it to someone. So I started and it starts like, why do I feel like this? Careless words left me broken. And then he stopped me and he said,

what did broken mean to you? Like, why did you feel broken? It was like straight up counseling in this, you know, studio. And first of all, the reason why I said that, like, why do I feel like this, like careless words left me broken, was really a nod at like, I know that there's like a whole book

on the identity that I have in Christ. That's actually like, before the foundation of the world began was spoken over me. And here I am with careless words that have broken me. And I'm like mad at myself because I'm like, I know better and I'm letting careless words replace like truth, but those careless words have left me broken.

Like the reality is they hurt me and they've changed who I am in a sense. And he said, what a broken feel like. And I said, in frustration, literally started crying in this music studio. I was like, it made me feel like I was never enough. Like I was just never good enough. Like I wasn't good enough as I was.

I had to add to, to be enough. Like I had to be to, to be enough. Like I had to be more fit to be enough. I had to do more things in front of people that were impressive to be enough. I had to do better in sports. I had to, and this was my high school self. So it was always like, if I did this, then maybe I would be accepted.

Then maybe I'd be enough. And then the song, like kind of in the end, keeps singing like, you said I am enough, so I am enough. You say I am enough, so I am enough. And I just think about, you know, as we're talking about this, I can't let this moment go by without sharing like, I know, like I know truth.

My parents spoke truth over me, but like I like careless words from people, from people I dated, from people I went to school with, from people on social media, from even myself that I spoke over myself, like absolutely break me and make me feel like I wasn't enough. But I had to go on to find a new identity in Christ

because I didn't wanna stay broken. Like I didn't wanna stay in this place of like constant anxiety and like people pleasing and self-worth problems. And that is totally where I was at. I had so many issues at that time. And I was just like, I can't live like this because one, it's toxic.

And I'm like constantly having panic attacks and my eating habits weren't healthy. And so I started to find myself in Christ. And like, when I say find myself, like I really had to like make some changes in my life. Like I had to get out of some relationships, dive into the word, make some like big changes, and delete social media. That was the first time I deleted it for like four months and just like really dive into the Word, talk to counselors.

And over time, man, like God radically changed my life. And so the message of Jesus changed my life. The words God said over me completely changed my life. Like that is my story, but it's not as just as simple as being like, I am a child of God, just saying it. It's like actually going on to find what it means to be a child and then believing it. And so I feel like it's so easy for me

to like answer these questions like 10 years later and like remove myself from how bad it was. But this week I was talking about that time in my life and crying because it still is hard to think about. And so, man, I just empathize with all of you out there who are going through that. Demi, this book is so important, so timely for so many. As we just kind of wrap up,

anything just you wanna to share just on this message and why this time you feel you could have written a book anytime? Why did you decide now? And do you feel like it's a word that girls need for now? Yeah, I started writing this book probably four years ago and I stopped because I realized that I had life experiences, I had life stories, but I didn't personally find the purpose in many of them and I knew that I had life experiences, I had life stories, but I didn't personally find the purpose in many of them. And I knew that there was growing and digging that I needed to do in order to set me up for a season

where I get to flourish eventually. And I have learned that, you know, that like, when you think of like plant, digging and planting, like that's messy and it's untangling the roots of your identity and it's, you know's untangling the roots of your identity and it's, you know, digging up all the weeds of doubt, et cetera, and planting new seeds of truth in your life. I talked about that messy middle,

that waiting season in my life that I went through. I write about all of that in this book. When I picked up my pen or my MacBook rather, last year, I ended up writing this book in like three months and it was so fulfilling because I knew that at the end of when I finished chapter 10, I felt like what I wrote to my readers, I actually wrote as a reminder to myself. Yep. That's so real. In such a big way. And I still concede through reading chapter 10

and not cry my eyes out. I'm not even like gonna sugarcoat that because it's somewhat the Lord gave me like somewhat of a love letter that I could write to myself as a reminder and hopefully to my readers to always know how much He loves you and the plan that He has for your life. And I don't have all the answers.

This book is not a perfect roadmap, but it is a roadmap of the story that I have lived, the road that I have walked. And I hope that this book will help our readers, my readers find their ultimate life calling and their ultimate purpose. And that they will be able to live that out with a lost in confidence each and every day.

So. So good. I love that. And that is so real. Even with this song for me, it's like the reason I cried is not because it like, not because that those words still hurt me. I cry because it hurt me so bad.

Then I feel sorry for myself. I'm like, I feel sad. You want to give yourself a hug. I hated that I allow myself to be in those positions and I allow mine to go there. But then I'm like rejoicing in who I am now and what God's done through me. So especially with a book,

to write 10 chapters and look at your life and be like, wow, there's so much grace for the journey. And look where God was there and there and there. And man, even if you never write a book, you don't write a song, would you take time today to look at the faithfulness of God in your life? Would you take time to just recap

some things that he's done over the past few years? And hug yourself Say like friend you did a good job like there's grace for the journey You went through hard things, but man God loves you and he's with you and he will never leave you never forsake you He did never leave you never forsake you and he's with you now and so what a great reminder of where to find our identity a great reminder of What a great reminder of where to find our identity, a great reminder of being able to look back and thank you for writing this book for all of us and for yourself too. It's a gift to the world and I'm glad it was a gift to you too.

And thanks for being on the podcast for a third time's a charm. Thank you Sadie. Thanks everyone. you