Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - BEST OF: Eskimo Sisters (w/ Skyler Hurt)

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

We’re bringing you the best of Why Won’t You Date Me?—completely ad-free! In this episode, Nicole is joined by Skyler, who she met on Tinder. Things got awkward quickly when they realized they were Eskimo sisters—both had dated the same guy. Nicole asks Skyler why she swiped right, why they kept dating despite Nicole's smoking, and whether she would’ve still gone out with her if she didn’t know about her work. And finally, Skyler gives Nicole the cold, hard truth about why they stopped dating. Spoiler alert: things get really awkward.You can check out Skyler's Austin account at @austinunscripted.Originally aired 02/14/2019.Follow Nicole Byer:See Nicole live at Nicolebyerwastaken.com.X: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have two shows coming up that I want you to come to. I'm doing a show in LA on October 4th, and then I'm doing a show in New York on October 18th. And you can get that info at NicoleByerWasTaken.com or the link in my Instagram bio or my Twitter bio or maybe on TikTok bio. But you should come for the fun. While we're on hiatus, I'm so excited to reshare one of my all time favorite episodes with you, Ad-Fur-Ree!

Today's episode is very special because it was way, way, way, way, way, way back when the original concept of why won't you date me was me interviewing people I dated or slept with and asked them why they won't date me anymore. But, your girl's done too many episodes and has run out of people. Skylar Hurt is a woman I met on Tinder who turned out to be Eskimo sisters with me. We both dated the same guy and decided to date for the story. And you know, when that ended,

I had her on the podcast to talk about why she wouldn't date me anymore. We had a really honest and eye-opening conversation about why she decided to stop dating me. And it's maybe the most real and honest conversation I've had about why I'm undateable. And boy, things get really awkward in the end. This episode is iconic for that.

We're on good terms now. We've spoken. I was supposed to do a show in Austin, and we were gonna see each other, but then I ended up getting a job and not being able to go, so I haven't seen her since. Ah, you ready? Let's hear the theme music.

["Why Won't You Date Me?" by The Bachelorette plays.] Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Oh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where I try to figure out how I'm still single even though I would take off my acrylic so I could dig better in your butt. Okay. I'm like running out of little things to say. My guest today, you work in

television production. I know you because we met on Tinder. Her name is Skylar Hart. Boop ba da boo. Scoop ba ba ba.lar. Hi. Thank you very much for doing this. My pleasure. Is this your first podcast or no? It's my second. I did one for a friend before. Okay, great. I've got a bunch of people where this is their first or second podcast.

It is easy. It is breezy. It's beautiful. It's cover girl. I've had a lot of coffee. Okay. But I'll probably fall right to sleep tonight. Beautiful. It's cover girl. I've had a lot of coffee But I'll probably fall all right to sleep tonight so Do you you're on apps? Yes, cuz I met you on an app. Yes. What apps are you on? I'm on all the apps which ones no literally all like tinder. Yes Bumble. Mm-hmm Raya

Well, no, I'm not cool enough to be So many people are on it. Okay, Cupid. Uh-hmm. Raya? Well, no, I'm not cool enough to be. Oh, there's so many people who are on it. Okay, Cupid? Uh-huh. Coffee meets bagel? Yes. I fucking hate that one. Yeah, that one's the worst.

With the beans. Yeah, I very rarely use that one anymore. I deleted it because I got so angry that they were like, you need to earn things to give to men. And I was like, men should be earning things to give to me. Or maybe they have to earn beans too. I didn't get that far because it was very annoying. Are you on Hinge?

Hinge, yes. Are you on Happen? Happen? No, H-A-P-P-N. I was for a second, because I liked the concept, but no one else was on it, so it just seemed pointless. It's weird.

And it'll be like, you walked past Dan 100 times. And Dan lives in Pasadena. And you're like, how? How did Dan and I cross paths so many times? And I lives in Pasadena. And you're like, how? How did Dan and I cross paths so many times? And I'm trying to, what are the other ones? Plenty of Fish is one.

I've heard of other people having success on it. I have not, but I'm still using it. Hopefully. Does Plenty of Fish have an app? Yeah. Because Plenty of Fish is like a real old school thing where I remember like me and my friends would log into a computer and like manually search for people.

Well that's how, okay, Cupid started. That was the first dating site I ever did in college. Oh, so you've been on dating sites since college. Yeah. I don't remember, I think I started dating sites when I was like, it was definitely when I was in my Washington Heights apartment, so that was like 23, I think, or 24,

because I moved here when I was 25. Yeah, 23 or 24. I was late to the game, I think specifically because I lived in New York, so it was just like, I would go out and meet a friend and be like, this is my friend for a while Well, you told me like in New York You could just go to any bar and just drink and meet people and I've never lived in a place where that was really an option Mmm, like I lived in a small town in college. There was maybe one bar and they're all like hillbillies. I was in like rural, Texas

Where? Huntsville, Texas, it's north of Houston, Sam Houston State University. Sam Houston? Yeah. I opened for Nick Cannon at Sam Houston State University. There's a big statue of a man on the side of the road where they're like, don't stop! And I was like, but all I want to do is stop and take a picture. But then I couldn't figure out where to stop and how to get a good picture.

And I was also alone. Also, Nick Cannon were a turban and you better believe he was wild. And I mean that in the nicest way possible because it was very nice that he let me open for him, but he was wild. He like rolled around the stage at one point and I was like, is he gonna roll off?

Which would have been very funny, but he didn't. I've only really lived in a small town when I was a wee little girl, until like, I think 18. 18 is when I was like, I got to get the fuck up out of here and move to New York. What, like in Jersey it was a small town? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, Jersey is like, I mean, Jersey City is like a city-ish, Newark City-ish, but like everything else in Jersey is like,

boring as fuck. And I didn't love it. Do you have any like dating horror stories from apps? I mean, when you ask a woman that question, the dating horror stories are getting assaulted. You know, like there are no cute still like, oh, I spilled my wine on my dress and it got ruined. It's like, no, I had the worst night of my entire life. Okay. And I've

had a lot of experiences like that. I think we all have. Yeah, let's not get into that. I think the best best case scenario is that you don't hit it off and you go your separate ways and then the other one doesn't harass you. That's been my experience. Although every now and then you get somebody who doesn't get it and won't let it go. Yeah, I had one fun friend who texted me nonstop for two weeks and kept being like, I just need to see you.

I was like, I don't think that is what we need right now. I think what we need is for you you to like be in your house, I'll be in my house and like, we never see each other again. You talk a lot about how texting creates a false sense of intimacy. So I don't text. I recently realized what you meant by that. I was texting this girl from this app, from Bumble,

for maybe two weeks, three weeks. Too long. Before meeting. And I felt like we clicked on every level and had great chemistry and awesome conversation. At one point, I was like, what if we don't hit it off? What if we're not attracted? And she's like, of course we will be.

Look at this amazing back and forth. And then we met, and it just fell flat. And maybe it was because there was so much buildup and there was so much like pressure put on both of us to perform well and maybe it would have gone better had we not had three weeks of great texting. But I felt so sure that like, oh, I found like the person that I'm gonna be hanging out with from now on.

I truly, truly think until you, I think both decide that like, this is a thing we want to do, I don't think you should text that often. Yeah, I think you're right. Because then you just, like me specifically, like when I'm on the road, I'm like, oh, I have this person and we're texting all the time. So like when I see them again, it's gonna be great.

And then it's like, you're texting, texting, texting. And then they're like, oh, well, I'm busy. And you're like, oh, okay. Oh, well, this is, oh, okay. So then you're just like, well, why were we texting for so long and so much if there wasn't something there? She even told me at one point that she does not make plans. Do you ever go to the doctor?

Like she's like, no, I just avoid ever, like ever making appointments or making plans of any kind. So it just wasn't meant to be. I'm a planner, so I know that wasn't gonna work out. I like a loose plan. Like, tell me the date, and then leading up to the date, I'll be like, we can figure it out. Yeah, or you'll be like, oops, I forgot, I have a show. Yah! Yah, yah, yah, yah, yah!

I am very bad with my schedule. It's like, it's bad. My friend Amy has been asking me to do her podcast and I've canceled on her three times because I've forgotten about shit that I had to do during the day. And it doesn't, I know it doesn't feel good and it feels like I put my career before people.

And I do, I do and it's not nice. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be salty. No, it's fine. I really feel the heat right now and I'm sorry. Yes, I do do that a lot and it's not nice. I just, I don't write things down. Sometimes I go on Twitter and I'm like,

do I have a show tonight? Because I'm like, I vaguely wrote something down that says eight and I'm like, I don't know what eight means. I think it means I have a show, I don't know. But I think every time that you canceled on me at the last minute, it wasn't that you forgot you had a show, it was that you forgot that you had a date. And I reminded you and you were like, oh yeah, about that.

And I was like, oh, okay. But I feel like I only canceled on you maybe once, twice? At least three times. Really? Yeah. Our first date you canceled. Did I? Yeah.

I recently, to prepare for this podcast, went back and read all of our texts. And our Instagram thread and all the other forms of communication between us. Okay. Okay. So let's just get into it. So I met you through Tinder.

I swiped yes on you because I thought you were cute and then I was like, you also look familiar. Then I swiped yes on you. Then we matched and then, and then I was like, you also look familiar. Then I swiped yes on you, then we matched, and then you were like, we're Snow Sisters, or Eskimo Sisters, what is it? I said Snow because that's his last name. Oh! Pfft.

I thought you literally meant like Eskimo Sisters. Right, that's the real term. Oh! I was doing like a play on words. Okay, because I literally said to my friend, I was like, oh, she said we're snow sisters, which means like we kiss the same boy. And she's like, that's definitely not what it means.

And I was like, well, Harumph, I'm not sure what she means then. No, I was just like being cheeky. Ooh, boy, I'm stupid. But then I like went back through his Instagram and I was like, oh no, that is his ex-girlfriend. And then I was like, I will go out with her. My friend was like, what is your end goal? And I was like, I don't know. his ex-girlfriend. And then I was like, I will go out with her. My friend was like, what is your end goal?

And I was like, I don't know. But then I think the more I thought about it, my end goal was like, well then I'll just end up with her and it'll be a wonderful story to tell everybody. Yeah, I think we might've both been in it for the story initially. Yeah, which is a very strange thing to do. Yeah, it's probably not the best motives.

Probably not. But we went out, the first time we went out, we talked a lot about him and I was like, huh, I'm not sure if that was a date. I was fully confused. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, we had dinner. Yes. And it was nice.

Yes, it was very nice. We went to a nice little restaurant. I ordered a chicken parm. That's a fun, flirty thing to order on a first date. It was very nice. We went to a nice little restaurant. I ordered a chicken parm. That's a fun, flirty thing to order on a first date. I hunkered down. I was like, give me more wine. We had talked about being friends and like going to see a movie. Like it wasn't we didn't really have like a romantic vibe going into it initially.

It was very confusing. But then we went to Jumbo's Clown Room the next day, got very drunk and fucked, and then I was like, well that definitely was a date because it ended in fucking. So like, yeah, that seems right. And then I was like, just even more confused. But then not confused, it was a very interesting time.

And then also I was dating other people too because that's what we're supposed to do that's not fun I think it's confusing I I find myself in long-term casual situationships mm-hmm like I the last guy that I was like hanging out with it was a year and a half that it was casual. Really? Yeah. And it was great. He lived a mile away from my house.

I could text him, he'd be over in 20 minutes, and we got along great, and neither one of us saw a future in the other, but we had a great time together for the time being. Did you have that conversation where you were like, this is going nowhere? The first date date I do this thing where I take a lot of my dates to the same places. It's kind of in LA there

are very few places that I really love the atmosphere of and I'm kind of picky. So like Jones which I've taken you to is my favorite restaurant. I take most of my first dates there. Yes you did say that and I was like, hmm, okay. But it was cute, right? Well, it's a very cute place, but whenever people talk about other dates or other people, I get confused because I don't know what the motive is. What do you mean? I don't know why you're telling me that you take a bunch of people here. Like I...

And I'm part of the stable of people. There was this Frasier episode that I was modeling like that whole idea off of where he's a matchmaker sets him up with a bunch of dates. So he goes to the same restaurant wears the same outfit so that the woman would be the only variable like it's basic science. So that was my idea behind it. But then at the end of the day, I know what places I like and I don't trust the stranger that I'm meeting up with to pick a good place.

Sure. So I'll just go back to Jones. And if I like them, then we'll go to Pleasure Chest, down the street, because that's like a nice walk away. And then we'll cross the street to Barloo Bitch. OK. And then we'll go to Jumbo's. And we'll end the night there.

Oh. So truly, it's mapped out. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. And it's a great, it's a marathon for sure. But it's honestly a super fun first date and you get to know each other really well and I did that with this person and by the end of the day I Realized that I wasn't gonna fall for him, but that he was a lot of fun and that we got along

Mm-hmm. I don't think I could do a year and a half casually. I'm not a casual person. I'm pretty intense And I need my questions answered. Yeah, that just seems like too long. It was okay though, because I wasn't really needing anything more from him than he was able to give. And at the end of the day, he ended up meeting someone else that he wanted to be monogamous with, and that's how we ended things, and were no hard feelings and it was nice. I'm waiting for someone to ask me to be monogamous and I want them to use that word specifically. Just because I think it's a very heavy word. Nicole, let's be monogamous. So there is this

man who keeps emailing me and he wrote, this is in November, he said, Ham not spam, or no, not spam or ham. I read that very wrong. He said, good morning, no good opening, but hopefully you will read. I have no history of social media except for six or eight years ago, but I think I'm an excellent prospect for a lot. Once again, no title that I can think of, have meeting but had to send. Weird email, right? And then later that day he said, part two. So Nicole, I listened to all your podcasts in a week and a half.

Know you despise fandom. I don't think I've ever said that anyway, but that's not why I'm stating it. Fuck fake text relationships. I don't fit any of your love criteria, but I don't think you should have taken any... Also, this man can't write. What is this? And I don't know any of your love criteria, but I don't think you should have taken any. Also, this man like can't write. What is this?

And I don't know what he's saying. This man just keeps emailing me. So he also says, here are the facts. Black, 46, not a beach body. Daddy of eight. He's describing himself. Yes. Educated, living my dream, not succumbing to the norm.

And then he said he's going to Disney next week, but I can meet you for a date or something. Which is crazy, because I'm like, you have eight children and you want to meet me for a date after you take your kids to Disney? Is this the email that you put at the end of the podcast to send you dirty things? Yeah, it's baconcanstave at gmail.com

if you want to send me an insane email that I'll read on the podcast. And then he goes on to say, here's my nasty post. And it's a bunch of like, how he wants to treat my pussy like a, like a turkey, which is very strange. It was a stuff it. Yeah. But with like a turkey baster, like real turkey things.

So then he sent something on the 30th and he said, why the fuck won't you date me? I'm your boyfriend shaking my head. Then he says options, taking my daughter to Florida next week. After that, we can make this happen. We can go on a date when I get back. Took you forever, your new podcast. I think he's like not well.

And then he said, I'm a Libra all over the place. But once I'm in you, I will be nasty. I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay. And then it just goes on and on and on and then he sent another one that day and was like, here's my other email, my professional email. And then he emailed me today to say, Cy, meh, you're a discriminating millennial.

Wait, so you never responded to any of his emails? No. But to be fair, you are kind of soliciting this behavior on the podcast. Sure. No. Sure. But. No, but to be fair you are kind of soliciting this behavior on the podcast sure Sure But obviously must get something out of it if you're willing to read that entire thing on your podcast I guess just I guess what I get out of it is People are crazy like they're legit insane

Yeah, but you live for it kind of but maybe I should say please email me coherent insane. Yeah, but you live for it. Kind of, but maybe I should say, please email me coherent thoughts. Yeah, that's fair. I'm happy to read coherent thoughts, but that man doesn't seem well. He's 46 with eight kids, and he's taking his kids to Florida, and he wants to hang out.

I don't live in Florida. Right, no, and casting that happens a lot too. We'll get- Really? Well, because I have to post on Craigslist a lot for a lot of the shows we're developing, so we just get the wildest submissions. I mean, I can't even imagine. I don't even know how they vet people on Nailed It.

I get, I'm been very lucky that everyone has been great and very normal and no one has been crazy to me. But like, what if they get a crazy person? What happens? I mean, typically there are background checks. Oh, are there? Yeah. I mean, it depends on the show.

But a lot of the times they look into it just to make sure they're not endangering anybody on the set. Imagine they cast a murderer and he murders everyone. That would be so wild. On that note, we have to take a break. And we're back! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Well, I knew who you were. Would you have swiped yes if you didn't know who I was? You can't hurt my feelings. Interesting question. Um, maybe.

I don't know. I can't really speak to that. Fair. I mean, you have cute pics. Hey, thank you. You had a funny bio. I mean, chances are yes. Okay.

But I mean, considering the situation, you know, I think I told you this, like I was a fan of yours before you and Nick ever met. I took him to a show of yours at the Pleasure Chest like six years ago. And I think that, I mean, he and I were, you know, still casually seeing each other when you guys met. What a dream. What a dream. you know, still casually seeing each other when you guys met. So... Ugh, what a dream, what a dream. Mmm.

Oh, yes. Everybody's dating 100 people at once. No, but like I said, like, I have these long-term casual things, and Nick is one of them. Like, he and I just stayed really good friends after breaking up, and I'm the same way with my other ex in LA, and I just don't want to meet a bunch of new people. Like I hate strangers. I just like stick with what's comfortable. You're preaching to the choir. I also hate strangers, but I don't, I don't stay friends

with people that I've, I've also never had like a full, full, full relationship. But I tell them to not stay friends with people I've gone on dates with. I don't know why it's easy for people to like just go, bye-bye. Well, I guess it's like, cause you, I said this on an episode of my friend Joel, when people break up with me, they still have access to me.

It doesn't work vice versa. Do you know what I'm saying? No, what do you mean? So like if someone breaks up with me and then they're like, I kind of miss her. You can turn on your TV. Or you can- That's not necessarily access to you, Nicole. Yeah, it is. Once you nailed it, it's not access.

I don't know. I'm pretty much the same person. I mean, the curly wig, sometimes it's straight, you know, change it up a little bit. My makeup looks good. Yeah, you just go, well, that's Nicole. She really made me laugh. okay, turn it off, go to bed, fuck my new wife. I mean, you and I can stay friends. All right, all right, let's do it.

I mean, I threaten Nick with friendship. Yeah, I remember that. And we have not kept up with it. Actually, speaking of which, I did kind of want to ask about something kind of weird that happened when you and I, that night we went to Jones. Yes. Because Nick and I are such close friends,

you told him you were meeting someone for dinner at Jones. He knows Jones is my place. He texts me, are you meeting Nicole for dinner right now? Yeah, why? Her and I just saw a movie together. And then you didn't mention to either one of us that you were seeing the other. It was very weird. Yeah, I didn't know how to bring it up.

And like, we were hanging out. We went and saw, not the Meg, Crazy Rich Asians, which is a very weird movie to see with him because the main character's name is Nick, and they say his name 100 times. Winsaw, not the Meg, Crazy Rich Asians, which is a very weird movie to see with him because the main character's name is Nick and they say his name 100 times. But I was like, oh, I should tell him that I'm going to dinner with Skyler.

But it seemed weird to be like, hey, so I fucked your ex-girlfriend. And in my brain, this is gonna be a really great story. So I... But like, neither one of us would have cared. I didn't know. I didn't know how anyone was gonna react. The weird part was you not saying anything.

Yeah, baby. That is funny though that he was like, I know this restaurant. That's my spot. He was like, where are you meeting? And I was like, I know this restaurant. That's my spot. He was like, where are you meeting? And I was like, a place called Jones. I've never been, but it's called Jones. And he went, oh, okay. And then he dropped me off and was like, oh, okay.

Yeah. Also, that day I was taking him in his car and I passed his car and he's like, you passed my car. And I was like, oh, I didn't see a Prius. He's like, oh no, I got a new car. And I was like, oh, you did? He's like, yeah, you made fun of my old one. What?

Like that's why he upgraded? Cause you made fun of it? Well, he mentioned it. So I don't know if that's the sole reason. What did you even say? How do you make fun of a Prius? Oh, I got in his car and I started pretending to swipe and I went, it's like I'm in a Uber, five stars,

which is funny. Because there are so many Priuses? Yes, because most Ubers are Priuses. Yeah, okay. He didn't think it was funny, and they got a full-ass new car. I don't know, maybe it was... I'm sure it wasn't the only reason. No, he'd been wanting Lexus for a long time.

But he mentioned it, and I was like, Huh, alright. I guess you don't think I'm that funny. I don't think he thought I was funny at all. No, I mean, no, of course you did. No, no. Whatever, c'est la vie. I don't know what that means.

So I guess you are like bi and out and proud and dating other women. Well, I don't call myself bi because I think bi means you only recognize two genders I call myself a slut. I'll fuck anything a turtle would have no kidding. That would be wild I don't even know how you do that I Fully am open to anything

trans Gay, it's like whatever you identify as, I don't really care. As long as we get along and the sex is good. Yeah, like pan is the word. Pan, I think is the. I don't like it. You don't like it? No, it reminds me of a skillet.

So, I don't like it. Pansexual, eh, it's not for me. Yeah, I also truly, I don't like labels. I don't know why we have to label everything. I don't know why anyone has to be like, I'm this. I think once you're friends with someone, you can be like, do you have a type? Like what things do you fuck?

What people do you fuck? But like, if you're not friends with a person, I don't think like you need, like coming out to me is such a wild thing. Right. Because if you're friends with someone, usually you can infer what they like. Like my two best friends from high school, when they came out to me is such a wild thing. Right. Because if you're friends with someone, usually you can infer what they like. My two best friends from high school, when they came out to me, I was like, mm-hmm, okay.

Sure, you came out, but I already knew. But then my therapist is like, well, people, they have, whatever. We've talked about it a lot. You and Mary? Me and Mary. Oh, and Mare Bear. Haven't seen her in about a week and a half, and it's been rough! But I see her tomorrow.

3.30! Our standing appointment on Thursdays. I remember the day, the morning after we hooked up, you tweeted that you like broke Mary's brain or something. Like she's never been speechless before. Always breaking her brain. you tweeted that you like broke Mary's brain or something. Like she's never been speechless before. Always breaking her brain. I like went on a journey to learn how to ride a man and was explaining it to her and it broke her brain.

I am conscious constantly like, why do you do? How do you get to these conclusions? And I'm always like, I don't know, Mary. And then we have to like walk back. And then she's like, the way your brain works. Why do you do, how do you get to these conclusions? And I'm always like, I don't know, Mary. And then we have to like walk back and then she's like, the way your brain works, but like we both understand my brain's like a little, I have ADD.

So truly I do not think like other people. I can't remember what I said to Sashir last night, but she was floored that I didn't, what was it? Hmm, I don't know. We were on the phone for a solid six hours. So we covered a lot of topics. Also, nevermind, I won't tell that story. Yeah, just about your sexual orientation.

Oh, and we got so far away from it. Yeah, I'll have one. I'm just a person who lives in this world and I love whoever wants to love me. What do you identify as buying? I guess. I mean, I have no other experience other than with the two genders. I mean, that's where my, you know, my idea of my identity kind of stops because I just,

I don't know otherwise. Not that I'm opposed to trying new things. I'm open. I think it's good to be open. I think everybody should be open. I think it's wild if you're not open. I found this on Instagram last night and it really made me chuckle.

Okay, so it was a picture of this like beautiful woman and a very ugly man. And it said exactly one year ago, my sugar daddy Brad passed away. Oh, I saw this. It made me laugh so hard. Insane. You can read the whole thing Yeah, okay, go ahead. He was 47 and died of a heart attack and untreated diabetes

We had an incredibly toxic toxic relationship and ultimately I wish I never met him as horrible as he was I'm sitting here trying To dig up a good memory to share Brad you bought me my first pair of Louboutin, my first Birkin, and my first and only race horse. A race horse emoji. You understood the value of my time and for that I honor you with my time today by posting on Instagram. I love it.

By making this post for you, I still don't forgive you for taking me out of the will after you attacked me while you were on whippets. It's not funny that she was attacked. It's funny that there's so much. Also on whippets, who does whippets anymore? You're 47, move on a cocaine. Whippers is like, whippets are, it's like you inhale shit. I think it's like poppers.

However, you knew I would always be okay. And yes, I've been living a double life this whole time with the guy you thought was my gay bodyguard, but also like why does she have a bodyguard? And I'm also an author and social entrepreneur, so let's call it even. I will finally visit you one of these days. Rest in peace.

Please don't haunt me again. Honestly, it's the best thing I've ever read in my life. Honestly, it's the best thing I've ever read in my life. I mean, there's so much to unpack there. So she was a sugar baby. She didn't like her sugar daddy. He attacked her while high on whippets and then took her out of the will and then died, but not before she got a Birkenbeck and Louboutins and a full ass horse. And now he's haunting her.

Would you ever be a sugar baby? Oh, I tried so hard to be a sugar baby. Nobody would sugar baby me. Nobody would let me be a sugar baby. I I tried. I tried so hard in New York because I had a friend who was and she would just like go to dinners with these men and they would give her an allowance

and all she did was go to dinner, allegedly. And I was like, I'll do other stuff. I don't care. I want my bills paid. And it never worked out. I would like message with men back and forth and they'd be like, I don't know if you're my type. And I'm like, what is your type?

This is on Seeking Arrangement? This was on Craigslist. I was a big Craigslist person. And then, then I decided to get married. And then that's how I got money. Right. For new hair and improv classes. You better believe I paid zero debt.

I got 30 grand in debt in maybe a year, probably under a year, because you have to drink. I got 30 grand in debt in maybe a year, probably under a year. Because you have to drink. Yeah, you've told me this a lot. You have to! No, you obviously made the right call. Improv classes, I mean, look where you are now.

I know. If I had never gotten married, I'd never have a podcast I Wouldn't be the host of three podcasts what really yes I'm exhausted all day every day just talking about things in the world you've no one to blame it yourself I know well, it's because people really fucking like podcasts. Yeah, that's true. Conan has a podcast now Yeah, everybody has a podcast. Yeah. This fucking rug has a podcast. It's called Why You Stepping On Me. It's honestly pretty funny.

Yeah. Just rubbing like, but why? Yeah, I have three. Do you watch 90 Day Fiancé? No, I've been meaning to. I know that you're obsessed. I feel like I've talked about it with you. Yeah, a lot.

I only watch two shows, RuPaul's Drag Race and 90 Day Fiancé. Yeah. So I do two podcasts where I recap 90 Day Fiancé and RuPaul's Drag Race. Wait, you have a RuPaul podcast though? Yeah, it's called What the Tuck with my friend Joel Kim Booster who just left. Just plugging it, plugging it again. It's called, yeah, What the Tuck, which apparently is a name that already exists out in the world, to which I think it's hosted by two women. I apologize, I saw the tweet, but we launched it.

It is what it is. So like, I'm sorry, but also we introduce it as the only RuPaul Drag Race Recap podcast, which is not true. But like people have been like, guys, it's not true. And I'm like, yeah, on what planet do you think we don't know this? I don't know, people don't understand sarcasm.

I think sarcasm is a dying art form and I'm a little upset about it. So you're watching All Stars Four? Always, yes. Who's your front runner? Oh boy, I mean, I love Monet X Change. Oh wow, this is really dipping into my other podcast. It's a crossover episode.

I do like Monique Hart. Also, Gia Gunn is hilarious. She's shadier than ever. She's so shady. I need her to stick around. I need the drama, the drama. I live for it. I love her being like, no, talking is not a talent, but it is Trudy makes it go away. I don't think Trinity deserved to be in the top three. I liked it, I thought it was very cute. I thought she looked good.

I thought her lip sync was good. The tuck was good, but Latrice with the color guard flags? Are you kidding me? Yes. Manila with the reveal, the art. All right, well I knew what she was doing. I was like, again, I've seen it. But I thought it was good.

I love Manila, Manila's great. And I felt like Gia deserved to be in the top three. Gia did do a good job. Yeah, she was better than Naomi. I, the end of Naimis really did it for me. Yeah, that's what Ross said. But I do wish she had pulled it off and then was doing a weird dance the whole time. Like just a weird old man dance with legs.

I saw, so I went to, um... Christmas Queens, did you go to this? You went to it? I mean, I saw it. At the Will-Turn. Oh, no. So, like, not the RuPaul episode. At the Will-Turn, they did Queens of Christmas. Oh.

And Naomi Smalls was there. What an amazing performer. Because I was like, I don't know what Naomi does. So she lip synced to, I think, an unedited segment from Wendy Williams, where Wendy is out of her mind and it's perfect, and then she does Good Form by Nicki Minaj. So it's like a mashup and it's flawless.

She was amazing. Latrice lip-synced to Aretha, and she brought the house down. Yeah, Latrice is amazing. Latrice is incredible. I love her so much. I love her husband, Christopher. He's incredible and I missed their wedding because I had to work.

You were invited to Latrice's wedding? Yes, because her and her husband, we love each other. He's the best. Christopher's literally the best and we met in the most insane way possible. I went and saw Latrice at the Rockwell when she was doing Cheers to Life or Here's to Life. I don't remember the name of the show.

And she was lip-syncing, I think, to Aretha. And I was like, wow, she reminds me of my dead mother. And I started bawling. And then I was like, Latrice needs to know this, which is an insane thought. Nobody needs to know that. Just go home with your feelings and enjoy your life. So then after the show, I went up to Christopher

as he was packing everything up. And I was like, hey, is Latrice gonna come out? And he was like, I don't think so, she's tired. I said, okay, can you just tell her that she reminds me of my dead mom? And I've never seen a person look at someone like, I was like, oh, this is what it feels like when you look at someone like they're crazy.

I was like, that's the face you're giving to someone. And I was like, how do I come back from this? I should say something else, and before I could say something else, he was like, oh's the face you're giving to someone. And I was like, how do I come back from this? I should say something else. And before I could say something else, he was like, oh, I watch your show, Leslie, Exactly Nicole on MTV. And I was like, I'm not crazy. And he's like, no, you still are. That was a wild thing to say.

Latrice was a fan. Yeah, so Latrice and Christopher watched my show. And then I think they watched Nailed It too. I don't know. And then Latrice came out and then I was like, I mean, and then Christopher was like, tell Latrice what you just told me. I was like, I don't want to know because now I know it's crazy.

And Latrice laughed and it was a great time. And now they're my best friends and I love them so much. Wow, jealous. I'm an insane person and I'm exhausted all the time because my brain just doesn't work correctly. I love the Rockwell. The shows are there. I also like the Rockwell.

I've been meaning to see Jeff Goldblum over there. I feel like everybody on Tinder has a picture with him. Yes, everybody does and I usually swipe no on it. You're like, you're too basic. Well I'm like, if that's the most interesting thing you've ever done that you think it needs to be on a dating profile, you're not that interesting. Jeff Goldblum is hot though.

That's why I break this for him being in the photo. Very hot. But also like if I want to look at a picture of Jeff Goldblum, I have Google and I can Google Jeff Goldblum and get him right in front of my little eyeballs. That's fair. That's just me though. But I mean, I don't know my dating profile right now. I don't think I've changed it in forever.

Yeah, I was actually just looking at it because we're still matched. So I could go back. Yeah, it looks exactly, I feel like you make every podcast guest look at your profile and it never changes. So it's, the guest is just reading the exact same thing every time.

Yeah, and people like to comment that I've gotten redundant. And I'm like, I know. Why not switch it up? Well, I did. OK, so now it says something different. It says definitely a thought the happiest out there that's not new. No, but this is new. It says isn't online dating the best? Aren't we all like just super happy to be here?

What a time to be alive. Because I'm just tired. Because you love sarcasm. I do love sarcasm and people, I don't know. I just, have you been having any luck? Are you dating anyone right now? Whew, no. Okay. Okay.

I'm seeing my exes casually and having a great time with that. I'm going on first dates for whatever reason. I've been swiping a lot lately and only matching with women. I swipe on both and I swipe right way more on men than I do on women, but for whatever reason only women are matching with me right now. So I'm just going on whatever dates kind of come my way. And lately, it's been a lot of texting, a lot of like clicking and then falling flat when we meet. Yeah. And I feel like that doesn't take a lot out of you.

Yes. And now there's like a hole in my heart that's like, I have this person to look forward to text, they text me good morning every day. And now that's gone and it's like I wish that I had never started texting you in the first place because now I miss it. It sucks. Wait, how long that person, how long were you texting them? Two weeks. Oh, okay. But it was like every day and snapping. Oh, yeah. I think that's truly, I think when you're, okay, I think when you're communicating on like,

so like if you're texting someone, also like sending memes back and forth, and sending like little videos back and forth, that I think is like, I would be like, we're in a relationship, you're mine, I bring you home to my sister, and we're all gonna giggle and kick our legs together and say we love everything about that. I couldn't do that. Like that is...

It does feel that way. It feels so intimate. It's so intimate. Especially when you send a meme. Hahahaha! I think memes are the most intimate because you're like, I think this is really funny. Will you think this is really funny? And then when they're not, they're like, no. You're like, oh, I didn't think it was funny either.

And I think it's like another part of letting your guard down. Maybe I'm insane, but that's truly what I feel like. You don't think so? I've never had someone not laugh at a meme that I sent them. OK, well, maybe. I only send really funny memes. Maybe you're just like the queen of the memes.

I don't know, sometimes I'm really bad at the internet. LAUGHS But, uh... And then Sashira has to decipher things for you. Oh, all the time she... Oh, what were we talking about last night? I don't know, I was talking about street scoopers. LAUGHS

Construction equipment. And then she was like, that's not what we were talking about, but then I sent her a picture of a street scooper so she would know what I was talking about, and she was like, but that's not what the conversation, she got really mad at me, I wasn't taking my, I didn't take my medicine yesterday,

so I was a little all over the place. Did you take it today? I don't think so. Okay. It's, it's, literally, it's a struggle. It is a struggle. Like it's hard to remember to take it. The irony of having ADD.

I went to pick up my medicine and they were like, oh no, your insurance lapsed. And I was like, oh fuck. And then the pharmacist was like, isn't it funny that like you're trying to get your medication to remember to do things, but you didn't remember to do the thing that would get you your medication? And then he laughed really hard.

And I was like, not funny! Yeah, what the fuck, dude? But then he was like, here, fill this out and give it to your insurance company and they'll reimburse you. And you better believe I forgot to do that. Yeah, there you go. So I paid $300 for a bottle of 30 pills.

Jesus. It's awful. Our healthcare system is broken. It truly doesn't make any sense. Do you have any dates lined up? Well, I'm leaving for Texas on Saturday. I was texting this guy earlier, but we're probably not going to meet up until January and by then he will have forgotten about me, so I have no hopes for the future.

I also have zero hopes for the future. I don't know. It's, yeah. Dating in LA is bleak. Dating in LA is very bleak. Okay, here's a question. So like I smoke cigarettes, I keep quitting and unquitting. And you didn't like that about me.

But you kept seeing me. That's a deal breaker. But you kept seeing me after you knew I smoked. Well, you kept saying that you were trying to quit. Yeah. Yeah, that's what smokers tell people. And then you dash yourself with perfume and mouthwash. And you're like, nobody can taste or smell this.

Well, you read that book that Nick recommended, and it really got to you for like a minute. I did. I quit for two, a month and a half. Yeah. And then I said, these nasty little things are very good for my soul. I don't know. I love a cigarette. They're delicious. I don't get it. I've honestly tried because when I lived in Austin, I was hanging out with people in the music industry and everyone smokes and I was

left out standing around outside while everyone was smoking. So I would literally try and understand and get addicted to this thing that everyone loves. And I hate every aspect of it. Yeah, it stinks and it's the thing that everyone loves, and I hate every aspect of it. Yeah. It stinks, and it makes my mouth feel bad, and it makes me feel lightheaded in a bad way, and I hate all of it. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I started in high school because all the cool girls

would smoke in the bathroom, and it was so funny to smoke in the bathroom and then go back to class reeking like cigarettes, and your teacher would be like, were you smoking in the bathroom? And you'd look them in the bathroom and then go back to class reeking like cigarettes. And your teacher would be like, were you smoking in the bathroom? And you'd look them in the eye and be like, no. And they're like, I can smell it. You literally smell like a lit cigarette.

And then I was cheap, so I would have like little cuts in my bag. Like you put the cigarette out and then you put it in your purse and a cut cigarette smells worse than an actual cigarette. And then they'd be like, you're literally carrying one that you just had lit. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about.

It was just like ultimate denial. High school was fun. It's just, I spent a lot of time lying to adults and then having no consequences. That explains a lot. Does it? Your quote unquote sense of entitlement. I do have unquote sense of entitlement? I do have a sense of entitlement.

Oh boy, I told you a lot about me. Yeah, we know each other. Boy. I know. I just, I don't know. I mean, it's been a minute. When I was looking over all of our stuff, we matched in May. We didn't meet until August.

Oh, shit. And then we hung out until October. Really? Yeah. That's a long time. I know. Wait, August is September, September, oh, that's two months. Yeah. That's yes, that's usually, that's things

pretty typical. go, go poorly for me after two months. Yeah, I think I truly did fall off the face of the planet. I was like touring a bunch, but then also I was like, I do things that this girl doesn't like and they're not gonna change. Well, we found out that we didn't have as much in common

as we thought that we would. Like, I thought you would love comedy. And come to find out you don't like watching it or participating in it at all. Well, I participate in it. My job is comedy. Yeah, but other than that, you don't watch any of the shows. I would be a Looney T tune if I worked a 12 hour day

trying to be funny and then went home and was like, I'm gonna watch other people try to be funny or like leave my house to see an improv show, put me in an asylum. Like that would be insane. Or I thought we would both love food. Oh yeah, I don't like nothing. You won't eat artichokes?

You won't eat onions? They look crazy. Mushrooms? Mushrooms, get out of here. I did have ramen for the first time and it was good. And I was like, why didn't nobody tell me about this? We have been telling you, soup is the best. Ramen is literally amazing.

One of many different kinds of soups that you should try. How many burritos have you eaten in your lifetime? What? I don't know, thousands. I think I've only eaten like three. What? I like, oh, this is what we were talking about last night. So this year and I were talking about food and foods that I haven't had,

cause I'm still mystified by like, nobody really was like, you should try ramen. Like somebody should have just like blindfolded me and take me to a ramen place and been like, it's really good. That's what it takes was like you should try ramen like somebody should just like blindfold me and take me to a Ramen place and be like it's really good. That's what it takes to get you to try something new is blindfolding you kidnapping you take you to the restaurant Yeah, because that's fun We were talking about burritos and I was like well I guess I really haven't eaten that many burritos because like I don't really go to Chipotle that much

She was like do you think Chipotle is the only place that has burritos? I was like what, can you get one at a Mexican restaurant? She was like, what are you talking about? I was like, I never see people holding burritos in Mexican restaurants. She's like, well, they eat them with a fork and knife. And I was like, you eat them with a fork and knife?

So like, I mean, it's not that I don't like this, just like, I don't really understand anything. I get confused. I can't be the only person in America who didn't know you could eat a burrito with a fork and knife. I think if I ordered one in a restaurant, I would cut it in half with a fork and knife

and still eat it with my hands. Absolutely. I feel like I'd never see anybody eating a burrito in a restaurant. Well, if I'm going to a Mexican restaurant, like El Compadre, one of my favorite date spots, I'm gonna get the fajitas or the enchiladas or something that's like a restaurant plate dinner.

But if I go to a taco truck or if I go to like, I don't know, like a stand, I mean, there's so many LA Mexican dives that are so bomb. Yeah, I don't really eat burritos. Okay. But I would. I think I'm going to eat more burritos. I'm proud of you. Hey, thanks. Um, I'm really excited about it. I had coleslaw for the first time today. Jesus. What? For the first time? Yeah, it wasn't that bad, but I didn't love it. So I scraped most of it.

It was on a sandwich, so I scraped some of it off and left some of it on. Ugh. Also, like, okay, I don't like pickles. And I didn't open my burger up to see if there was pickles in it because I requested no pickles. This was like two days ago. I had been into it and I was like, ugh, what is this like crunchy weird tasting thing? And I kept chewing and I was like, but what is it?

I can't figure it out. And I swallowed it and I was like, ugh, well I don't know if I wanna take another bite. There's something weird in this burger. And then I looked at it and there's a pickle. Yeah, no, I get the pickle thing. Pickle juice ruins anything that it touches. They ruin a bun.

You gotta like scoop the bun out and then you have just the top of the bun and you look like an idiot. No, and the bun still tastes like pickle because the juice saturates everything and it's ruined. No, I'm very salty about pickles. Here's a question. I already know you would date me.

Pfft. But why do you think I'm still single? Oh, Nicole. You can't hurt my feelings. That must be a lie. What, that you can't hurt my feelings? Yes. You can't.

I mean, certainly you must know. I don't think, well, I mean, I have like ideas. Like, why didn't we work out um I don't think we worked out because I don't think we were fundamentally compatible also I You like wouldn't even kiss me because you were like you taste like an ashtray, which is not true Have you ever licked an ashtray? You can figure out what something tastes like you know the way it smells. I don't know what that tastes like okay? I just don't like that phrase. Yeah, I just think I ultimately think we weren't compatible.

Okay, so your like lack of communication had nothing to do with it? Sure, yes. Again, I do think texting is like, I think it's false. And I think if you have good texting and then it's not good in person, then like that's also confusing. So like if it's bad texting and it's better in person, I think that's better.

Well, I think we had good texting and good in person stuff. I think it was mostly just like logistics that we got hung up on where it was like making plans and then you would forget that we made the plans and then you would bail at the last minute. It was a lot of being very disrespectful of my time. Okay.

And being very inconsiderate. Okay. And putting yourself first. Okay. And that's why we stopped dating. All right. Fair. Fair, fair, fair.

And you own up to putting your career first. And I respect that. Yes. Yeah, I'll take complete fault, which sounds insincere. After it came out of my mouth, I was like, that sounded very insincere. But I will, yes, I'll take ownership of that. I think I should have been clearer that like,

I feel, it felt like sometimes you were like upset that I didn't want to like watch a comedy or like talk about comedy because I don't wanna talk about comedy with the person I date specifically because I talk about comedy constantly. That's fair. And I think that I speak in references a lot. So if the person that I'm dating doesn't know the references,

then a lot is just gonna go over their head and we're not gonna be able to communicate in general. I found that happening with us sometimes where I would make a joke about Brooklyn night. I would be like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And you like wouldn't get that that was a reference to anything. Absolutely not.

Yeah. I mean, I honestly don't know very much about pop culture and I'm not sure where I've been or am all the time. Do you know about this book called Lean In? Yeah. Marissa, do you know about this book called Lean In? Thank God. Okay, you are literally the only other person

in apparently LA who doesn't know about this book because my friend said something about Lean In and I was like, what are you talking about? And then like two of my friends turned on me and they're like't know about this book because my friend said something about Lean In and I was like, what are you talking about? And then like two of my friends turned on me and they're like, everyone knows this book. So then I like asked the two women at the restaurant next to us, I was like, do you know what Lean In is?

And they're like, absolutely. And my friend was like, she doesn't know. And they're like, oh, well, it's okay. You know, you can go home and Google it. She's like, she's not going to. And they're right, I didn't until a couple of days later. But then I was just like, why does everyone know about this book?

Where am I? I don't know. It also came out in like 2015, it was like 2018, I was like, when did everyone get it? When did everyone learn about these things? Was it the same time we were all talking about ramen? What is it? Well, I feel like you use social media to post,

but not necessarily to like get news and information. Like you're not like hanging out on Instagram or Twitter For too long like you're in and out and I feel like that's where I get a lot of my news and information as people talking About on social media. So if you're not really paying attention on Social media you're gonna miss it there was lean in posted about on social media bunch. Of course. Oh my god This is awful. You also need to know who to follow. Like I follow The Cut, you know, or follow Paper Magazine, you know,

and they'll like give you the tea. I don't follow The Cut or Paper Magazine. Sorry about that, The Cut and Paper. No follow from me. I don't know. I don't know how to stay abreast with things. It's very confusing. Pop culture moves so fast.

The children have so many slang words that it's really hard to catch up. But you also just don't care to keep up with it. That's why you don't keep up with it. I guess. You really don't. Like, you've heard... The fact that you care about this Linen book so much is honestly shocking to me. That it's lasted this long. You're going to forget about it by tomorrow.

Well, it just happened like four days ago. And I was just so confused. Also, the ramen thing happened like five days ago. My friend Emily Heller took me to get ramen, and I truly afterwards was like, I can't believe how good it is. She was like, what's wrong with you? We've all been telling you.

She also took me to like my first vegan restaurant, and I was like, this is pretty good. She was like, what is wrong? She's always taken me to something new where I'm like, hey, I think she took me to my first Thai food place too. But you still refuse to eat artichokes. They just, I don't know how to eat them

and I refuse to be embarrassed. But it's not hard, it's so easy. I don't wanna be embarrassed. I don't like being embarrassed in public. I cry when I'm embarrassed. Your whole brand is being like so over the top and silly but you can't like being embarrassed in public. I cry when I'm embarrassed. Your whole brand is being, like, so over the top and silly, but you can't stand being embarrassed? Yeah, because I've decided to be silly.

And when I'm embarrassed, it means there was no choice in the matter. My friend, Sherako, said once, she was like, when you send mail, you're sending it into the future, and it broke my brain. I was like, oh my god. Oh my god, that's right. And then she and my other friend, so she or who was sitting there, they were like,

are you okay? And I was like, Oh, um, yes. Um, I'm embarrassed. And then I started crying cause I was embarrassed that they saw my brain broke. And then they were like, are you crying? And I was like, yes. And then I started crying harder cause I was like, Shirako's going to tell everyone I'm a cry baby.

And Shirako's like, I'm a grown woman. I'm not gonna tell anyone that you cried at this restaurant. Then she left and then I cried harder because I was like, she is gonna tell everybody. So like, maybe I'm just insane. Girl, you're a mess. Whatever, I'm in therapy. I'm figuring things out. Thank God for Mary.

Just like trying. I don't know. I'm also like a pretty stoic person, so I think when like I get emotional, I'm emotional. And it's good to purge emotions sometimes, you know? Get it out, it feels good, it's cathartic. Sometimes. Skylar, do you have anything you wanna promote?

We've come to the end of our episode. It's funny, I thought that you'd be... What? I just thought that there would be more questions about me or about us. I feel like this is a lot about you liking ramen now. Well, I guess I'm in a relationship with ramen and that's what I really just wanted to reveal. I didn't eat the soupy part of it. You don't want to hear more about ramen. Um, well, do you want to ask me questions? No, I don't have any questions.

Then what did you want to talk about? Well, no, I thought you would have questions for me. I'm the guest. Okay, let's see. I feel like I've asked you questions. Forget it. No, I'm going to come up with some questions. OK, what's the best part about me?

Jesus. What kind of questions did you think I was going to ask about you? About my upbringing, my sexual orientation, my coming out, the difference between dating men and women. When did you come out? Oh, God. You sound like you really want to know. When did you come out?

Excuse me. When did you come out? Well, I never, I mean, I never really had to come out. It was mostly just like my older sister was gay before me. She's 10 years older than me. So she was out when she was in high school. And I was raised Mormon, so being gay was never okay. But because of her, she sort of like set the precedent

for me to like be bi. And my parents have always just been cool with it. So luckily it's never really been a thing. Okay, what's the difference between dating men and women? Oh Jesus. I don't know. These are the questions you asked me to ask you! Oh my god, Nicole.

This is a dating podcast. I thought we'd be talking about dating. We did! No, okay. I asked you what the worst date you went on is, and you wouldn't tell me. Well, I mean... Or silliest date. The silliest date? Probably with you, honestly.

Yes. Because like, remember when we went to Jumbo's and the dancer recognized you and then spent the whole time just sitting and talking to you about Nailed It? Yes. That was pretty silly. Yeah, that happens. Yeah, sometimes I'm too nice. But I like those girls.

Also, I tip them very well. Yeah. So, that also draws attention. But also, PSA, if you go to Jumbo's, you can get a free gift. I mean, I'm not going to be able to get a free gift. I'm not going to be able to get a free gift. I'm not going to be able to get a free gift. I'm not going to be able to get a free gift. I'm not going to but I like those girls. Also, I tip them very well. So that also draws attention. But also, PSA, if you go to a burlesque place or a strip club, tip the girls a dollar per song,

if not more. And you have to tip everyone, even if you've seen them, because they're on a shift, so you'll see them two, three times, a dollar. That's $3 to one girl. Like if there's 20 girls on, you're spending 20 bucks. That's what you should do. Right.

Let's see. Have you ever been in love? Yeah. Have you? No. Yeah, I've been in love three times. Ah. I've only been infatuated with someone.

So I did an episode with my friend Barron and Barron was like people mistake infatuation and lust for love. And the more I've thought about it, the more I'm like, oh, I don't think I've ever fundamentally been in love with somebody. I've felt things intensely for people, but I think it was still part of the lust phase

and not the love. Well, I think the difference is if it's reciprocated, that's being in love. I feel like that's the only way you can really truly love someone is if you love each other. I think you can love someone without them reciprocating. Well, that's like just an unrequited love. That's a crush, basically. I don't know. I think you can feel deeply for someone who's given you time, affection, and is withholding.

Yeah, but that's abusive. Yeah, but still love. You can be in love with an abuser, but it's still love, and I think it's still a valid love. Not a good one. Right. Not a healthy one. Not a healthy one.

Yeah. But I still think that is love. You're talking about the guy that drove you through the red light? Yeah. Well, I don't know if I was even in love with him, but he was a crazy person. He was absolutely nuts, and I kept returning being like, something will change,

and then sometimes it would, and sometimes he would say, I love you out loud, and I would then take a couple days and be like, do you actually mean that? And then it would just be like a whole fucking thing. Right. And I thought I was in love with him,

but I don't think I was. I think it was very much like an infatuation where I was like, I can change this person. I was never gonna change him. Yeah, that was my situation with the first, no, that's fair, the first person I was in love with, he loved me back, but he was unavailable to a certain extent.

And it was agonizing because it was like you were hoping that they would change for you and you were holding out thinking that you would be the one that would change them. And it never happened. Yeah, but I also I'm at a point where I don't I don't want to change for anyone and I don't want to have to change anyone. I want that person to like me for me. And I'm I know I'm weird and someone just has to like that weirdness and like just be there with me. Maybe match my weirdness. I don't know.

Well, do you see yourself ending up with a man or a woman? Like, do you have a vision for yourself? No, I see myself ending up with a person who really appreciates me and loves me and is kind to me. And that took a long time to get to. I think I was, for a long, long time, was like, I don't know, treat me any old kind of way. It doesn't matter just as long as you're here. And the older I get, the more I'm like, oh, being treated kindly is really nice.

Having someone ask me if hanging out before a show fucks up my mojo for a show is nice Someone asking me if like oh you fly back that day like D Are you sure you want to hang out or like do you want to do a different like that's nice when someone's considered to? Be like you're tired. Do you want to take a day? We don't have to see each other I don't know Is there any possibility that you didn't take us seriously in your mind because I'm a woman? No, because no, because I was dating another woman while I was dating you. So it was like, woman time for me. I don't know. Um, was that like your first

Experimenting with that? No. No one of the earlier episodes I talked with this woman Joe Joanna who I was enamored with And like we hooked up I was like the last person she hooked up with before she got married and I was like, why won't she love me? And she's like cuz I was getting serious with somebody else. I was like the last person she hooked up with before she got married. And I was like, why won't she love me? And she's like, cause I was getting serious with somebody else and I was like, fair. And then I'd hooked up with another lady,

two other ladies before. I don't know, I'd have to look at my Microsoft Word document. Oh, really? I detail almost every sexual encounter I've ever had on this document. Wow. Yeah, I'm very methodical for some things and then very scatterbrained about most things. And I don't know why I do it. I think I started doing it because I was like, oh, I need to write more.

And going back and reading them, I did, like writing those, I did establish a voice. And the way I write is the way I speak. So, I mean, it's not, it's not like always grammatically correct. Like, I don't know, I'm like bad at grammar and stuff, but like someone else can fix that in editor, but like I do have a voice, like my writing voice matches my speaking voice, which matches my standup,

which matches my improv. So like, I think it was a exercise in that. And I'm very glad I did it, because I've been detailing it since I was 19 or 20. That's really cool. I just have like a list in my notes on my phone. No, it's more fun to go through. I went through it recently and read them to my friend.

She was like, good Lord. This is very detailed. I'll detail the dick, I'll detail the puss, I'll detail everything. And then I detail like the date and everything, like leading up to it. So yeah, that's what I do. Wow.

Do you have any more questions that you want me to ask you? Shut up. No. Are you sure? I'm done. This was most of our relationship. Because I don't know, I never know what to do. Do you have anything you want to promote? A show that you worked on that maybe you want people to watch?

Yeah. Viceland is airing episodes of Kentucky Ayahuasca right now. Check it out. My brother's actually on the most recent episode, which is interesting. He talks a lot about being raised Mormon. I don't know. Follow me on Instagram. Skylar Hurt.

Yeah, tell the people. Tell the people. Okay, well, if you liked this episode, I want you to subscribe and rate it five stars on iTunes or iPod, no iTunes. I've always said iTunes, right? I'm losing my mind. And if you rate it five stars and write me

a nasty little message, I will read it. So this person, let's see, I won't say their name. They said, if you were my bedtime bitty, I would fill your pussy up with fried shrimp and mayonnaise, wrap you in a bun, and eat you like a po' boy. I don't know. It feels like shrimp in my pussy isn't gonna end well for me. Sounds like an infection waiting to happen.

Right? Like it doesn't seem good. Also, I don't know how many shrimps you would fit. Okay, bye bye.