Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Dating Scraps (w/ Riki Lindhome)

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Comedian Riki Lindhome (Garfunkel and Oates, AfrAId) joins Nicole to discuss her harrowing fertility journey, dating someone new just two weeks before her baby was due, and what it means to "soft-partner" or date a "scrap." Meanwhile, a man tries to move into Nicole's house, leading her to seek relationship advice from WikiHow.Write to Nicole! Submit your dirty pick-up lines, dating stories, or questions to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on-air. Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast where me Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on my nails and tell me it was a French manicure. My guest today is the hilarious comedian, actress, musician, and one half of the comedy

folk duo Garfunkel & Oates. You can see her in the new Blumhouse movie, Afraid, in theaters today. It's Ricky Lindow! Hi, what's up? Hi, hi, hi, Ricky, how are you? I'm good, I'm in Scotland. Oh, hard to talk, nope, that's Ireland. What are you doing in Scotland?

I'm doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Yes. Who knows? Nobody knows how to say it. How many shows are you doing? You have to do a lot of shows there, right? Oh my gosh.

So I'm doing, I guess, 30 of my one woman show and then like 15 of another show. So I guess 45 shows in a month, which is crazy. 45 fucking shows. I mean, that's a month, which is crazy. 45 fucking shows. I mean, that's a lot. That's so many. It's a lot. And one is at 5 p.m. and one's at 11 p.m.

So it's kind of just my whole life right now. Oh, why would they do that to somebody? You have too much time in between. Yeah, it's too much and then, yeah, it's not enough. Where it's not enough to like actually go get dinner or something, but it's too much where then yeah, it's not enough. Where it's not enough to like actually go get dinner or something, but it's too much where yeah, it's so late. Where you like go back to the hotel and you're like, well, if I fall asleep, that's not going to be good.

Right. So I just stay up and have caffeine and keep going. Yeah. Wait, you just had a baby, right? I had a baby two years ago. Oh, just kidding. That's not a fresh one. He's two, but he's here.

He's here with me. OK. What is that like having to do shows? And do you have a babysitter? How does this work? I don't know about child care. He's here with the nanny. And it's like, I still get to do all my shows,

but I don't quite have a social life here. Like all the other comedians are living together and going to 10 shows a day and going out till four in the morning, and I'm just, um, you know, going to the park. BOTH LAUGH Gotta take care of the baby. Wait, two, is it, um, terrible twos?

Do you still like your child? What's going on? He's the best. I don't know. I-I've heard, actually, that terrible twos are a myth, and then it's actually, like, a three-nager. That three is when it gets bad, because two, he's the best. I don't know. I've heard actually that terrible twos are a myth, and then it's actually like a three-nager. That three is when it gets bad, because two, he's still great. I'm like, he's kind of awesome. I don't know, just knock on wood.

He's awesome. Knock on wood. Imagine you didn't say knock on wood, or then the minute you see him again, he's like, I'm the shit. I'm just gonna be awful. I hate you. Yeah. Stop comedy.

Yeah, no. What's the funniest thing he says? Because he's talking now, right? At Tooth-A-Talk? Yes, he's talking. He'll say the funniest, he just started saying this. So he'll see someone that resembles someone. And so we have this guy, Camillo, who does repairs around our house.

And he saw a man who resembled Camillo, and he goes, that's someone's Camillo. Oh. So yeah, that's someone's Jocelyn. That's very funny. That's someone's Camillo. I like that he thinks that everybody has the type of person that he has, and that's funny to me.

Right. Yes, yes. He's definitely a Neppo baby. Not exactly sure how to deal with that yet, but listen, it's fine. I wish I was a nepo baby. I wish my parents had done anything to help me in this industry. Same. Oh, that'd be yeah, I wish, but no. Okay, let's talk about dating. Are you dating? I'm married. You're married. Yes, yes. I have the craziest dating story in the world.

Well, I would like to hear it. Yeah, I started dating someone like two weeks before my baby was born. Oh, yeah. And then how do you introduce that idea? Are you like, did you have a baby via surrogate or am I losing my mind? Yes. So the show I'm doing here in Edinburgh is called Dead Inside and it's about my crazy long fertility journey. If you don't mind talking about it, can I ask how long the journey was? It was like, well I first got my eggs

frozen at 34 and ended up having a baby at 43. So, it was a long journey. And just kind of everything went wrong and all of my parts didn't work. And then I tried to adopt for a long time and nothing was working. And so I ended up making a baby in a lab and getting a surrogate. I feel like it's not talked about enough. My friend Michelle also had twins via a surrogate, and her journey was long and difficult. And when you're doing in vitro, you have to inject yourself,

right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have videos of myself on tour with Garfunkel and Oates injecting myself in an airport in the LAX parking lot. Like, because you have to do it at the same time every day. And so I would inject myself in airport parking lots in the morning and then we would fly somewhere and do a tour. Oh my God. Honestly, that's the meanest thing I think somebody could do is tell me that I have to do something at the same time every day.

That's why I can't take birth control pills because I can't be responsible for that. No, and also they're kind of awful. Like you can't do that. Yes. I was always into the copper thing. The copper IUD. So I haven't done an IUD because I, there's racism in the medical field

and I've heard it's like, it can be- You're kidding. Can you believe it, Ricky? Oh my God. And I've heard it's like super uncomfortable and I just don't wanna deal with being like, this hurts me and someone being like, it's in fine. And you're like, I am in pain.

I'm like, it's, well, it's in fine. So I had a, just like a little plastic rod in me cause I think I can only do progesterone or something cause I am predisposed to blood clots so I couldn't have the estrogen one. Do you have factor five laden? Maybe somebody said a word to me. I'm predisclosed to blood clots. I have a thing have factor V laden? Maybe. Somebody said a word to me. I'm predisclosed to blood clots. I have a thing called factor V laden and I can't

have any estrogen. I can't do, that's why I have the copper. I wonder if you have what I have. I might because they did a test and then they said something to me and I said I'll never remember that but I'll remember that I'm predisposed to blood clots. Yes, it's called factor V laden. I bet that's, and there's like, you can have one mutation or two. And the two is like much more serious, but you have to, the only thing that's bad is estrogen, flying and smoking cigarettes.

Uh oh. I'm two out of three. I'm not doing, I don't have estrogen, but I do smoke cigarettes and okay, okay, I do smoke. I did try to quit. I quit for a year and guess what? They're just too yummy. And then I fly a lot.

But I've learned that compression socks are a friend and high tops. Ooh, I didn't know about the high tops. It's a thing I just discovered cause my ankles would always swell. And then I started wearing compression socks and then you put a little high top over it, and it gives you a little extra cushion for the pushin',

and it's great. I wear medical compression thigh highs. They take so long to get on. I'm in the airport bathroom, it sucks. They go all the way up, it's really uncomfortable. So I wear those, and then I take some kind of blood thinner. Oh, I'm I think I'm also on a blood thinner. Bodies are weird and they're hard and nobody explains it to you. Like, no, I didn't know that. Like pre menopause is a thing. Oh, perimenopause. Yeah, it's 10 years. Yes. Yeah. Nobody told me that in school. They didn't tell me.

No, you have to see my show because that's all it's what it's all about about how we have no information and people think we do and we don't know anything. And then you go to the doctor and they don't believe you. Yes. They're just. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I thought I was in perimenopause. It was like two years ago.

And I think I am I'm having this brain fog. It's so crazy, you know, and I got a physical and they took my blood and I was like, are you gonna test my hormones? And they're like, no, no, no. I'm like, I really need you to. And they're like, it's out of pocket. I'm like, of course it is.

They test my hormones. I go to the doctor and she's like, and I said, did you test my hormones? And she's like, no, why? And I said, well, I think I'm in perimenopause. She's like, tell me your symptoms. I'm telling her all these things. And she's like, that's called being a mom.

That's called being in society. That's called whatever. And then she looks and she goes, oh my God, we did test your hormones. She's like, you're not in perimenopause. You're in full menopause. And I was like, I know, I told you, nobody believed me. Cause it's so outdated.

They're like, it's like some guy in like 1951 was like, if you don't have your period for a year, then you can talk to us. Like that's the whole metric and it hasn't changed. And it's crazy. Cause I still had my period, but I was like, no, something's off. And it's like, I know my body, I'm in my body.

Also the wildest thing about a doctor being like, don't worry about it's like, I know my body, I'm in my body. Also the wildest thing about a doctor being like, don't worry about it or no, is like, isn't the whole point of being a doctor figuring shit out? Like aren't you a detective of the body? Don't you wanna figure it out? Why would I make this up? Yes.

What's my motive? Truly. To like make this appointment out of pocket. And be like. When I broke my ankle, they truly, I found out I was allergic to morphine cause it just made me hot and itchy and it didn't make any of the pain go away.

And they're like, that's not a thing that happens. And I was like, well, it's happening to me. And I Googled it. Why would I lie? Yeah, I think they were like, oh, she's seeking pain meds. And I was like, I can find pain meds on my own. I've been to Mexico, she's seeking pain meds. And I was like, I can find pain meds on my own. I've been to Mexico. I can do whatever I want.

Uh. Uh. Uh. And yeah, yeah. Yeah, it makes no sense. But were you on a consistent journey for like 10 years with the in vitro and stuff like that? No, it's like, it started again when I was like 38.

And then I, from then on, I was like really trying to have a baby and just everything went wrong forever. And I ended up having something called silent endometriosis. Oh my god. Which is there's no symptoms other than infertility. So it was my lining. What is endometriosis? I don't actually know.

So it's sort of like, it's when you have problems with your endometrial lining. And usually it's super painful and so people know they have it. But mine was silent, and so I didn't know that that was what was wrong the whole time. Damn, that shit sucks. I'm learning so much. At dinner the other night, last night I went to dinner with a bunch of girlfriends,

and we were talking about our vaginas. And I didn't know that your vagina changes. Like when you go through puberty and stuff. Yeah, some people's vaginas change. Sometimes their labia grows or like their glit gets like bigger or like less hidden or whatever. And I was like, what, really? I was like, I think I've had the same one my whole life.

And my friend was like, you have not. You do not have a baby vagina. You have an adult vagina. I just thought I had the same one too. I had no idea. Yeah, things change. And I truly was like, at dinner, I wanted to be like, all right, everyone,

pull them out and tell me what's different. But then you can't do that. You'll never be asked back to that restaurant. They'll say, ma'am, you gotta go home. No. I don't think I examined mine before a certain age. I don't think I was like looking a certain age. I don't think I was looking. I was always very curious about it.

So I, as a very little girl, got a mirror and was like, whoa, this is a lot of stuff going on down here. It's crazy. Because I remember I saw a boy and I was like, I don't have what he has. What do I have again? And I was like, OK, it's different down there. But yeah, besides that, I didn't really get too much,

it was just like your period happens and you could have a baby at any moment and that's it. And we know nothing, yeah. No. Yeah. And my show is a comedy, it sounds very depressing, but it's actually funny.

It makes it sound awful. No, it is a comedy because comedy's a fine line between tragedy and funny. Um, I dated this dude. I told this story before, but, like, I was telling this joke about him and he didn't like it. And then he was like, oh, I don't want to keep you from, you know, talking about the funny things

that happened between us. And I was like, well, this in particular is pretty traumatic. It's not funny. It's not ha-ha. I'll stop telling it, but, like, I just need you to know that this thing wasn't funny. It was about him not actually being my boyfriend when he was my boyfriend, and was like trying to move in with me.

It was a whole fun fucking thing. And him trying to be a situationship. He's trying to be, he's pretending it's a situationship when he is your boyfriend. Ricky, it was wild. This man was trying to move in with me, but wouldn't say I was his girlfriend. It was like so wild.

I was like, what do you... What do you... You are my boyfriend. He was like, no, no, I was his girlfriend. It was like so wild. I was like, what do you, you are my boyfriend. He was like, no, no, I'm definitely not. And I was like, okay, but like all your stuff is here and like there's boxes. And he was like, no, no. I was like, okay, should I walk into traffic now or later? So I are my boyfriend. I remember there was a guy where he was, he tried, we had the same kind of, he wasn't trying to move in, but we had the same kind of situation. And he was sending me pictures of himself at a store being like, which shirt should I get? And I just wrote back, don't shirt me.

And he's like, what do you mean don't shirt me? And I was like, if you're, you're not going to get the privileges of being in a relationship with me without being in a relationship with me. You don't get the girlfriend stuff. If you want to keep it as casual as it is, like I'm not telling you what shirt looks better, sorry. And he's like, whoa. Ricky, boundaries, I fucking love that.

That is- You guys don't get to have that. Okay, here's the thing. He can't shirt me. Why, I guess women do it too. I guess people in general just do it. But I feel like men are the real terrorists of I want all the privileges of a relationship and none

of the actual responsibilities. But I'm like, but there are no responsibilities past what we're doing. What changes when you put a label on it? This is exactly the same. No, exactly. Well, it's like, but they don't also realize that everyone wants all the advantages of being in a relationship and all the advantages of being single, but nobody gets it. Everybody wants that. Yeah.

Nobody gets it. But I don't. Like, sorry, you don't get to have that. I don't want. Okay, so here's what I want. I wanna be in a full-blown relationship and I don't wanna have to be on the streets anymore. I don't understand somebody who's like,

I want a girlfriend, I don't want the label, but I also wanna date other people. Sir, aren't you tired? I'm exhausted every day. I know, like the thought, yeah, I mean, the situation shifts like we're, I realized the other day that I was thinking about dating, because when I was going to come on here,

and I was like, I realized that people now, everyone understands what it's like to be an actor. Mm-hmm. Because they're on dating apps. Yes. It's the same thing. Like, before that, they're like, you know, our room tone is rejection.

We live in a world of rejection. And it's like always our responsibility to stay hopeful in an area of like things when 99% of the time you do not get the part. But we're supposed to be like buoyant and like fresh and like on it and not bitter. And we're just constantly being personally rejected. And I'm like, oh, everyone knows what it's like now because the dating app. Yeah. And then it's like, it's headshots. Pictures are just headshots and people

are just swiping through going no, no, no. I guess this fits the type I'm looking for. Oh my god, it is just like a fucking audition. This is depressing. Wait, Ricky, I fully derailed it. So you were having a baby in two weeks and started dating somebody? Yeah, yeah. How did, was it like, did you bring it up on the first date? Like, I'm having a baby soon. No, so we've been friends for like 15 years. And then, and he knew I was, I had a baby on the way

cause we were friends. And I was doing a TV show in Romania while my surrogate was pregnant. And he got cast in the show. Oh. So then he came over and we're just like in Bucharest together. Mm-hmm. And there's like nothing else to do but, you know, fall in love.

So I kind of just kept it to myself. I was like having these feelings and I just kept it to myself because I was like, I'm having a, like, he's not going to date me, I'm having a child. Mm-hmm. And then I was like, wait, why am I pre-rejecting myself? But he is free to reject me. Why am I taking myself out of the running? So I just told him how I felt and it worked out.

And he was like, me too? Yeah. But like, it started out like, do you want to go on a date? It wasn't like, be the father. It was like, do you want to have dinner? And he's like, I do want to have dinner. And then it just kind of kept going from there. I love that.

I love that so much. I also love that you said that what else is there to do in Bucharest, but fall in love? I went to Bucharest. I did not fall in love, but I also was the tallest, biggest person there. I couldn't believe how short everybody was. They're very small. Well, how long were you in Bucharest? For like three days, I was shooting a commercial in my early 20s where I played a fairy for Israeli Nestle.

Nice. I was there for seven months so I had to fall in love. I had no choice. Seven months? Oh my god. It was the whole pregnancy pretty much. That's so wild. I couldn't imagine. I did not like the food there. It was it was tough, like finding like blueberries and things. Yes. That was hard. Yeah. It was not for me. OK. So growing up, you

have admitted to being a little boy crazy. What does that mean to you? I just am. I just always was. I was always like I always had major crushes and would just always was. I was always like, I always had major crushes and would just always date and, you know, just put myself out there and get slaughtered or not.

You know, I was just like, I think I have a high pain tolerance or a high humiliation tolerance. I'm not sure what it is, but I could just like, I just always put myself out there. When did you get your first boyfriend? I was in ninth grade. Okay.

Yeah, or it was the summer before ninth grade. So I guess eighth grade, ninth grade. And I started dating one of my brother's friends. Ah, ooh, see that's nice to have a brother who has like a bunch of male friends to be like, oh, this is a nice little farm I'll pick from here. You've kind of been vetted already. Yes. And then I started dating someone who was like a senior.

I was a freshman and he was a senior. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. You were living my first long term boyfriend. A life in a movie, because that's movie. That's movie things to me where it's like, I'm just a freshman and I'm dating a senior. Can you even he's an adult? He's going to fucking college. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho like we were together for maybe like nine months or a year or something.

And he like when my family, when we went on spring break, he wrote me three letters a day. And when I came home, it was like there was a bag of letters under our mailbox, like so romantic, like love never existed before I met this guy. And then two days before he was going to go to college, he's like, I want to stay together. This is it for me. Awesome. And then the day before he's like, so when I left your house last night, I went to pick my sister up at this girl's house, and now I'm in love with her. It was like boom. So it was just like a switch, just like a flip. And I was like, whoa. So he just went and picked a girl up and was like, this one now. Yeah. And now they're married. He was right. Whoa. Yeah. As far as I know, I don't keep in touch. But like, yeah, so that was like my first like real breakup

where it was just like that out of nowhere. So I kind of had it all, like all the heights and all the lows, you know. That's so wild. Also, I love coming home to his stack of letters because that reminds me of Forrest Gump when he went to the war and was writing to Jenny and Jenny didn't write back.

And then it was returned to sender and then he just got a stack of letters. That would make me sad. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so that was your second relationship, or no, that was your first? My second, yeah. Okay, so then did you date a lot throughout high school

and then college and shit? Kind of, yeah, yeah. I guess, well, I was a little depressed in college, so not that much in college, but high school and then college and shit? Kind of, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Well, I was a little depressed in college. So not that much in college, but high school, yes. And then after, yeah, I just, yeah, I like dating. I've been on one date with every single person. But it also, it is weird when you're like, you're kind of like everyone's type

and then once they get to know you, they don't like you anymore. So that was happening to me. Because I could get one date with anybody, but I could not get two dates with 90% of them. So I'm like, ooh, it's my personality. That sucks. That's how I feel.

I'm like, you know, you gotta like a fat lady, you gotta like a black lady, but then also you gotta like the personality, and that's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, not really making it past a couple dates with a bunch of people. So after you like became more of a public figure,

did you find dating to be harder or easier? And did you feel like guys were like, ooh, this is my way into the business? I sort of, mine was, my dating life did not change that much. Okay. I feel like Kate Mukuchi's dating life changed a lot when Garfunkel and Oates started happening. Because like, I'm like more of the person who's like, okay, I'll stay out.

I'll have a glass of wine. I'll make a mistake. And she was like, just didn't have, she wasn't like out there doing that. And so once she started performing, people would come to her, they would discover her and then she had a lot more, you know, access, you know, but me, I was already putting myself out there. So it didn't change drastically. I don't think, you know, I'm sorry, I'm free willing out there, but I don't know. I don't know that anyone, I don't know that anyone thought that they could get into show business through me. I don't know. I don't know that anyone thought that they could get

into show business through me. I don't think that, I always was dating civilians. I was always dating people who like worked in marketing. Oh, okay. Ricky, real quick, we have to take a break. Yeah. And boop, boop, baop, bop, we're back. Okay, will you tell me one of the worst dates you've ever been on?

This is weird. I have not had a lot of bad dates. Oh. I really haven't. It's usually people are just like fine. I always want things to go like really good or really bad so that I have like a story if it goes bad. But most of them have been just fine.

Just like, I wish I had any story. I don't have any. Do you have good date stories? I mean, I really haven't been on a date in a minute, but I did go on a date with this man. I might have mentioned this story already, but I don't know. I went on a date with a man who, he was so strange about pronouns. And I get it. Like they, them is new. It's hard to get in your brain.

But non-binary people have been around for a very long time. And he was like, oh, my brother, sorry, he's a them. And I was like, oh. Oh no. You're like, oh, is it? sorry, he's a them. And I was like, oh. Oh no. You're like, oh, it's not that hard. No. Just practice a little bit, you'll be fine. So I said, I was like, well, I think,

and then he was like, I mean, my sibling. And I was like, oh man, the hard eye roll, the way you said it, it seems like you're mad. But I was like, a good way to practice is just pretend you're, I mean, you are talking about someone, it seems like you're mad. But I was like, a good way to practice is just pretend you're, I mean, you are talking about someone, but just like when you're gossiping, you're like, oh my God, they did the wildest thing

and I saw them do this. I was like, just like pretend you're gossiping. And he was like, yeah. I guess that's a good way to think about it. And I was like, or just like, if you slip up and say him, you can just correct yourself and be like, I'm sorry, them. Just correct yourself. People just want you to be trying.

No one's like perfection immediately. Yes. Just try. And also like people change their name. It's like Ms. to Mrs. Yes. They change their last name and everyone's like, that's fine.

Yes. And it's like, well, why is like, you know, why is that easier? It's not like. I'll never get it. People change all the time. Just yeah It's like when you know someone and they're like actually I'm going by my nickname now and it's like, oh, okay Well, whatever. Yeah, or they change their name for religious reasons or something like it happens like just get over it

So wild it was yeah here and then I was like, okay. Well not like that's a rap on the day I was like dinner still coming but uh He just sucked he was just like a little man. And there's nothing wrong with being little, but he was just like little and angry. He reminded me of- Just mad about it. Yeah.

Do you remember that man who was screaming about bagels in Boston? Yes. He reminded me of him. And I was like, if pushed, I think this man could be screaming at me in public and I simply don't want that. No, thank you. There's like short kings and then there's short angry men.

Yes, yes. We don't want that one. My husband's shorter than me. He's like two inches shorter than me. And was that ever an issue? No. No. After I had my first short boyfriend, I was like, oh, I don't care at all.

At first I was like, oh, I don't know. I'm 5'10". And so I'm just like, I always just kind of only wanted tall men. And then after I had my first short boyfriend, I was like, oh, I don't even notice. I don't care at all. I have bad depth perception. So I think I'm taller than everybody. And I'm constantly shook by looking in a mirror when I'm standing next to someone and I'm like, whoa, I'm much taller. You. Well, I thought I was five, seven. And then it was revealed to me maybe a year and a half ago that I'm only five, five.

I thought I was five, nine. And like two years ago, I found out I was five, 10. Did it rock your world? Yes. Because I was like, no, I'm not. And they were like, look. It was the same appointment with the menopause. Listen, things were being revealed to you. Yes, yes. Maybe I have better posture. I don't know, but I'm taller than I thought. But that's a good height.

5'5'' is a good height, because you can date anybody. It is a decent height. I do wish, I feel like I'm right in the middle. And I'm kind of like, oh my God, I wish I was just shorter or taller. I wish I could, it's one of those things where I feel like my body's like, I don't know, I can't make up my mind.

I'll just be right in the middle. Have you ever dated anyone shorter than you? That person that I went on a date with, I think, him? I mean relationship wise. Oh, no, no, no, no. Everyone think, him? I mean like relationship wise. Oh, no, no, no, no. Everyone I, well, I've only had one relationship,

but like he wouldn't say he was in a relationship with me, but he was taller than me. What? I went on a couple dates with a man who reminded me of a leprechaun because on our first date he was wearing suspenders and then he asked a lot of weird questions, and I was like, I feel like you're a bridge troll.

It really sounds like I don't like short men. I do, as long as they're nice, and I just haven't interacted with a nice one yet. Oh! Right, right, right. I was reading this book when I was in the throes of being single. I broke up with this guy that was in my situationship,

which is like, how do you even break up from a situationship? There was no relationship, allegedly. Allegedly, I'm like, but it sounds like there was, yeah. There was. But I was reading this book called, Calling in the One, and- Oh, I've read that, yeah. Did you finish it?

It was long. I don't know if I got all the way to the end. Did you finish it? No, it was so long. And then you have to do homework. And then midway through, I was like, I didn't even do homework in school. And that was for an education to like go to college and like get a job. And I didn't do that.

And I have a job. So I did a job so. I did a little bit of the homework that was from the book. I also did a little bit of the homework. What did you do? So I lived, so this bitch told me to go to Michael's and get a bunch of art supplies. So I went to Michael's and I got a bunch of art supplies.

I got clay, which I have not used and it's just in my house. Markers, which I didn't use, and it's just in my house, markers, which I didn't use, but I made a collage. It was like make a vision board collage. I bought magazines, I was cutting, I was pasting. I missed an appointment because I was so deep in the fucking vision boarding of it all. And then I, the guy I'm seeing now,

I brought him home and I was like, oh my God, you have to move your vision board before he fucking sees it. Cause it's psychotic. It's like love, the one, a relation. It literally looks insane, but I don't want to throw it away because I'm scared if I throw away the vision board, I've thrown away the vision. I'm in a cycle. That's very vicious. I like it

I think there's nothing wrong with calling your shot and there's nothing wrong with being like this is what I want But it's also like then I think there's like two schools of thought within this like hmm We're tell me which one you're in. So I was also looking for love I wanted a relationship but so some people in the meantime don't want scraps. They're like, no, I'm waiting for the one. Me, I will take scraps until the one comes. So there's like two people, there's people who are like, no, I'm going to starve until the guy comes. And then other people who are like, well, I want something. So I will always have a scrap. I'll always have something going on. But as long as I used to remind yourself that it's scraps

so that you don't waste your, you don't shirt them, because then you won't meet anyone. So yeah, if I just remind myself it's scraps, then I do the scraps. I used to be all about scraps. I was like, anything will do, I don't care. But then I was like single for, so I broke up with that person

and then it was like eight months and I was like doing the book half-hazardly and losing interest in it because it was so much fucking work. And then I was like, you know what? I think I'm just gonna like leave it alone for a little bit because I think I'm putting a lot of focus and stakes

in making it more important than it needs to be because like I like me, I'm good alone, I have my dog, we have a nice time. And then I met this guy that I'm seeing currently and it feels nice and it feels good and I think I needed to take that time to be like, I'm okay alone before I invite someone into my life. Totally, totally.

And also like if it's the right guy, he's not gonna be scared of you being like, I'm ultimately looking for something serious. Like he's not gonna, if he scraps, your scraps, he might not be someone else's scraps, if he's your scraps then he will. But like, if he's not, then, you scraps, your scraps, he might not be someone else's scraps, if he's your scraps then he will, but like if he's not then say what you want. It is wild because people are like,

I'm always worried about being too much and okay, I watch 90 Day Fiance, do you? I tried and it depressed me. Sure. Because I love Love Island, I love Real Housewives, it's so up my alley, it was depressing. Nope, I get it. Because everyone is very sick in the head.

They're not right. It's a very wild show, truly. Yes. And in bad situations. Oh, yeah. Everyone is in a bad situation, but every now and again you get a nice little treat. But there is this woman on the other way, her name is Corona, and she's dating a man named Inky,

which is two of the most unhinged names. I was like, what, how did you find each other? Corona and Inky? Okay. So she's like, I'm soft partnering you. And he's like, what? She's like, I'm not telling you when I'm getting mad at the things you do

because I'm trying to soft partner you. And I was like, that's the worst idea I have ever heard in my whole life. That's horrible. Yes, and he was like, oh, so like, you're gonna get mad at me later, and you're like holding things from me or sheltering me from parts of your personality.

When she moved to Iceland, I think she moved to Iceland or, She is. I don't know, she moved to like or... She is. I don't know. She moved to like a real cold place somewhere. And I was like, so you moved to a different country and this man doesn't know parts of your personality? That's horrifying.

She's just like waiting to get the ring before she brings it on him or something. And I was like, I used to be a vet. Well, it's funny that she told him. Yes. Because either people will do that and keep it to themselves. Like someone who's soft partners and tells them, that's ridiculous. Yes. Do one or the other.

Do one or the other because I'm like, so you're literally telling this man, I'm going to start screaming at you soon, or I'm going to start telling you I'm annoyed at things that you thought were absolutely fucking fine soon. Lady, that's unhinged. That's wild. That's unhinged. Yeah, you can't warn someone.

No. You have to do it or not do it. Yes, and I've learned in my old age, I'm 72 years old, I've learned that like, cause I was like, oh, I'm gonna trick these men into being like, I'm normal, I'm nice, I'm cool, I'm chill. But like the longer I've been alive, I'm like, no one is normal, No one is cool. No one is chill

We all have our weird shit and the sooner you just show your weird shit the easier of a time you're gonna have So that's what I've been doing and it's guys. It's going pretty well Yeah The only people who think I'm cool are like situation shit people because I was cool because I didn't like I knew it wasn't anything So I was like, yeah, totally, I'll see you whenever. You know, but they don't know my real personality. How did you date people and not get invested? If I knew it was, I just, I mean, calling it scraps,

just because like, you know, you want the whole buffet and if you don't have it, you get like, I'm like, I would just remind myself that it was scraps. So I'm like, you're choosing this over nothing. You're not choosing this or a relationship. This person is not going to be in a relationship with you. So you're actively saying, I will have scraps for now. And so if I just remind myself of that, and then if some point my brain's like, I don't want this anymore, then I won't. But if I remind myself that it's

just scraps until I meet someone real, then it doesn't hurt as much, I think. I wish I could do that. I'm, I, so I know when scraps are happening. Like I know that like, this isn't gonna- Oh yeah, it's very clear. Yeah, like they truly tell you by the third date, they're like, I don't give a shit about you. And you're like, okay.

But me, I go, I think I can make this work. I, I like this part of you, I like that. This could be fine, even though I think you hate me. Right. Right. Or you're like using me until you find something, quote unquote, better. Yeah.

Real quick, we have to take another break. But the guy I'm seeing now, I very much am like, oh, you like all the weird things I do. Like you find it endearing and that's nice. Oh, that's hot. That is so nice. I'll say a weird fucking thing. And he's like, ha ha ha.

And you're like, oh, this is what it is to not be scraps. You're like, this is this is real. Oh, that feels so good. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha which is the least popular Subaru. And he was like, did you know that there's a Subaru Festival? I mean, it's not a festival, it's a car show. And I was like, no, I did not. And I don't have a Subaru, but I like cars. And he was like, should we go to the Subaru SubiFest? And I was like, yes. And it started off as a bit, but I put it in my calendar.

I bought tickets in advance. There was no, no threat of it selling out. It was $25 before the show, $25 at the door. There was no incentive to buy it early, but I did. And the guy I'm seeing went with me to it. And I was so delighted by all of the cars and all of it. And I think he was delighted that I was delighted. And that's the nicest feeling when someone is like...

That's how it should be. Yes. That's why, that's why, that's why I don't get as upset about scraps. Because you're like, oh, great, you treat me like I'm disposable. Oh, please call me back. Like, fuck that. You want the guy who's like loving being at Subi Fest with you. That's the meal.

Like that's the cool shit. You're like, what's the,. Like, that's the cool shit. You're like, what's that? Who cares about those other people? Yeah. And I was like, I can't imagine ever bringing someone who didn't like me to SubiFest because it's like romantic though. I love that stuff. It's so cute.

It's like when you, you know, when you start taking selfies together, then he'll, then you'll be in a, you'll be boyfriend, girlfriend. I mean, if you're on SubiFest level, you'll go away for a weekend, you'll be taking photos together, and then you won't have to even have the discussion. I can't wait! Yes! Do you and your partner have boundaries about what you talk about on stage about them? We never really discussed it, but I do talk about him in my show.

I do tell our story, because it's mostly about my fertility journey, but at the end of the show I talk about meeting him right before and like going from having dinner into co-parenting essentially almost instantly. Because it's just interesting. What was that like? That's very shocking. I feel like it was it was the surprise of my life. It was the most shocking thing that's ever happened to me. I was really like, really not looking, you know, because I was in Romania, I was about to have a child. I was like, stuff

on my plate. I wasn't looking. And then, yeah, I just was like having feelings for someone. And I just straight up told them the truth. Was that a conversation that you had that it's like, I'm having a child and if we're going to be together, you are going to parent or not? No, not at all. I wasn't expecting that. So in my mind, I was like, it is weird to start dating right before I have a child. But I thought sort of the best case scenario would be, you know, I'm a single mom with a boyfriend. It happens.

You know, single moms have boyfriends. I'm like, why am I excluding myself from that? I could have that, you know? And so that was kind of what I thought could happen. And then it just kept sort of progressing naturally, like slowly, naturally, it just kept progressing. And then we moved in together and, you know. How quickly did you move in together? If you don't mind me asking. Oh geez, after like a month. Oh, yeah. So a month together, you have the baby

and then you moved in with the baby. That's the dumbest question I've ever asked. Yes. I am so sorry. The baby lived alone. Yeah. The minute that question fell out of my fucking mouth, I was like, you stupid bitch, how dare you say,

and the baby moved in? Yes, the baby came. Yes, yes, yes. So the baby came and then, yeah, and then we got married after that and it just felt right. And how long were you together before getting married? Three months.

Really? Yeah. I love that. I feel like sometimes people are like, that's too quick. Da da da da. But I'm like, well, you could always get divorced if it's not going well. But also if it's like, we want to be married,

why not just get married and live in it and really enjoy it until, and hopefully not until anything. And just, hopefully it's, that's it. It just works. Yeah. I mean, we were already living with a baby. It's so intimate and serious. Oh, yeah.

Changing diapers and shit, crying at 3 AM. It was just immediately serious. Even though in my mind I was like, oh, I'll be a single mom with a boyfriend. It just didn't work out that way. It just is so intense that you end up in this like, you know, war together. You're just... But honestly, best case scenario for a man who's like, yeah, I think I'd like to have a kid and a partner. And then you're like, hey, I have a kid and I'll be your partner.

Totally. I have a kid, there's no dad in the picture. There's no drama. It's just me and a baby. Like, it, yeah. Yeah, I think that's underrated. I think people don't understand how enticing that is for people. Because I know I really did have some, like, some people just came out of the woodwork. When I said on Instagram that I had a baby, they thought I was single. And people who were not serious about me before,

some scraps came out of the woodwork approaching in a very suddenly serious way. This is like, well, I'm already taken. Good but toxic advice. If you're trying to get somebody back, have a baby on your own and see who comes. Yeah, you know, just see who's serious. Yeah, but that was that was also shocking. It is interesting because if you think about it,

it's like, oh, well, we did date. I did like her. I do want a child. I don't want to go through the things of trying to have a child and then nine months of a pregnancy or a surrogate or whatever. The baby's here. I can start having fun ASAP.

Right now, yeah. It's a pretty enticing package. I think we were just maybe sold the story that it wasn't. I think we were like told this like single mom like it's so sad or something. I think we were just told some garbage that's just not true. I mean your story for me, I love because I feel like it's not what you're told. It's not traditional. And I feel like love I feel like it's not what you're told. It's not traditional. And I feel like love and relationships and family

come in so many shapes and forms and different ways. And everyone's story is like different and nice. But also it's universal. It's two people come together who are in love and they take a step and they start a life together. And it's really sweet. It's so fucking sweet. And then you see what happens.

I know, I feel so, well, I like, I always thought this was the case, but now I'm convinced more than ever that love is just luck. Yes, I think so. Because like some of the best people I know are single, some of the worst people I've ever met are married. I'm like, no, it's just luck. Like the fact that I met someone two weeks

before I was having a child in Romania, like how do you not call that luck? Like, it's like the greatest people are walking around single. And I'm like, no, you just like, no one's asking my advice. But my only advice is like, is like, is like, don't stop your life if you don't have love. Don't deprive yourself from everything else. Like, go on vacation. Have a nice dinner. Go see the world.

Like, have a child. Do the things you want to do, and then just wait to get lucky. Like, because there's nothing you can do about luck. I agree, and I also think that the universe... The universe, people, some people are unlucky. And, but also you can reframe it to like, oh, this happened so this could happen. That's what I've been learning in therapy. But also that is good advice to keep living your life

even though you're sad and maybe lonely. Because- Don't be in some purgatory where you can't have any good experiences. Yes. Because you don't have a romantic partner. I, when I got out of my situationship, I went on WikiHow. I love WikiHow.

It will tell you anything. Like truly, if you are bad at social situations, or like truly you're like, I simply don't know how to navigate. Like they'll literally, WikiHow will tell you how to order a sandwich at like Subway. But I like looked on WikiHow and it was like, how do you move on from somebody?

And the advice was live your life, start really doing things that bring you joy and take care of yourself. And when you get to a place, other people will be attracted to the fact that you love yourself and you're taking care of yourself. So I was like, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna absolutely do that.

And I went to Europe this summer with a friend. And truly had like the time of my life. And I felt like I took care of myself and I was in the sun and we went swimming. And I've just like this year, I've just been really focusing on like being good to me and trying really hard to like reroute negative self-talk to be like, oh, you stupid boring bitch. And it's like, well, you're not boring.

You just don't have a job right now that like an acting job or whatever, but like that's going to come. You have so many other jobs that bring you joy and fulfill you. So like, why are you, you might have a little bit of extra time, but fill it with something. So that's like what I've been doing. So you like look at the bright side of the situation. Yeah, like what is the positive of this? And you're like, Oh, I can go to Greece by myself. Like, like I can't right now because I have a son. Yeah, but I could. And I did two years ago. And it was awesome. I went on vacation to Greece alone. Where did you go in Greece? I went to Athens and Santorini and Mykonos just by myself. That's nice. And then I went to Sweden alone. I went to Paris

alone. I went, I was just like living my life. I was, you know, finding joy where I could find it. Do you have any advice for traveling alone? Because I know some people might be afraid of it. I do it so much for work, but like, and I'll take myself out, but yeah. So what I do, I'm a little afraid of things too, where I kind of, I am in when by the time it's dark, I just am, I have dinner in my hotel. I'll try to find a hotel with a cute restaurant, so I'll have dinner there. I'm just kind of in. But during the day, I'll do those like super basic touristy groups, you know, like, what are they called?

Like not TripAdvisor. What's it called? The, um, you know, those, those like tour guide. It's like, get my guide, get your guide. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll sign up for one of those. Like I signed up, I went to Florence and I signed up for a day trip to Tuscany to a winery. Right. And it's they take you on bus, and you go to a winery. And I get on, and it's all couples, except for two women.

And they're single women who are also just there. And so we're drinking together. And then we just spent the whole day together and went to dinner that day. And then we did something else in Florence. And I just make friends that way. That's smart. That's very smart.

It's like get in a group, make a friend that way cause there's other people also looking to make friends. Yeah. Cause if you're, there's like two seats on a, like you're going to sit next to someone who's there alone. You know? So yeah, that's how I make my friends when I go out. I love that.

Troubling. Ricky, before we get at it, wait, who proposed to who? I wanted to ask that and I never did. He proposed, he did. It was, but it was more like a, we both kind of knew it was going to happen. Oh. So he was like, kind of like, are we do, is that happening? I'm like, yeah. Oh.

Yeah, that's happening. And then it just, yeah, we just got married in a courthouse. That's sweet. Did you have any friends with you or no? No, we had, well, my one friend was there because we had my son with us. So someone had to watch him while we were doing our eight second vows or whatever. Doing doing the little marriage thing. Yes, yes, because I'm not a wedding. Are you do you like weddings? So I didn't think I wanted to get married for a while. I wanted to get married. And then I flip flopped to not wanting to get married.

Then I went to my friend's wedding in Spain and then got home and was like, I think I wanna get married. I think I want something real, because they didn't have anyone in their wedding party. They just said these beautiful vows and I was like tearing up and I was like, oh my God, I'm usually pretty hardened by this.

And it was just like really beautiful. And I was like, I think I would really like to have witnesses where I talk about how much I love someone. That's so sweet. You will get married then because I feel like that people who are like brave enough to be like I want this fairy tale version of stuff like it happens. It's like it's hard to put yourself out there because everyone's like no I don't care. I don't know, whatever. Like the thing I said about the scraps thing,

like that was true. But like the other part where I was like, no, I really want to meet someone, that was also true. It's like hard to be like vulnerable like that. It's very hard to be vulnerable. And I've been pretty vulnerable on this podcast because I, in the beginning I'd be like,

I just want to fuck. And as the years have gone on, I have really evolved to like, no, I want love. Like I want a real love. I want someone who looks at me and appreciates me, and I look at them and appreciate them, and we're kind to each other, and we say nice things, and we spend time together.

Yeah. You wanna be seen in that way. Yes. You want someone to have the inside jokes, and to experience, to look at the other person when you're out and have that same thought. Or like, of course, yeah, no, you will. You will.

Because it's so hard to be that vulnerable and so many people don't do it. And I think it prevents them from calling in the what. But it is, it'll happen. Because we just can never tell how long it takes. No, you really can't. Sometimes it happens when you're 100 years old. No, because when you get it, you're gonna know it

and you're gonna keep it. Yeah. Keep it. You're not gonna be like, whatever, anyway. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. You're gonna be like, oh, I like this. I like you. Let's talk about it. Yeah. Ricky. Yes? Do you have any advice, any more advice for single people?

I don't. I just think it's luck. I think it's like, don't be so hard on yourself. Because sometimes you get lucky in one area of your life and not another. And it's like, as long as you're not in like, the absolute like doing absolutely crazy things to sabotage yourself, if you're like, you know, say you're abusive, or you're doing you know, you're just a terrible partner, like that's that's what I'm not talking about. I'm talking about like, every 95% of people, it's just luck. And just like, try to stay happy in the meantime, keep yourself like have as much joy as you can, like, we don't know how long we're here. Like, don't postpone your happiness at all.

Don't postpone your experiences. Keep the joy coming and like try to stay soft and like be honest. Be like, I want that. I like that. I want love, right? It's just, that's like, what else is there? Like, what are you supposed to do?

You can't, if you're trying, like you're out there, you're vulnerable, like, what else is there? Just don't be hard on yourself because it, like, you have to think about, there's like, some of the worst people are married and some of the best people are single. And there's no way to explain that other than luck. I mean, you're absolutely right. Think about who you would date of your friends, like, think about some of your friends who are single and you're like, why the fuck are they single?

They're amazing. And they'll be like, what am I doing wrong? You're like, nothing. And some of my friends where I go, I don't know how you keep getting people. It's wild. And they just immediately, yeah, it's luck. I think. Well, Ricky, we have come to the end. Do you have anything that you want to promote? Well, my movie is coming out today. My movie, Afraid. It's like a Blumhouse horror movie with Jon Cho and Katherine Waterston. I think it's gonna be good. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm gonna see it today.

So, I hope it's good. It seems good, the script was good. See, it was nice to film. I think it's gonna be fun. I like Blumhouse movies. I love horror movies. I love that the genre has come back in like full force. It's so fun.

Me too. I was so excited to be in one. Wait, Ricky, I ask all of my guests this. I've only missed it a couple of times. Would you date me? Fuck yes. Oh! Fuck yes.

Oh my gosh. I mean, I should be so lucky. Like let's be like, I mean, no, seriously. Like you're incredible. You're like warm and wonderful and vulnerable and hilarious and cool and talented and unique and totally yourself. I'm like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Ricky, thank you so much. It's true. Yeah.

Yes, I would. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This was really fun. Yay. It was nice to talk to you. It was so lovely to talk to you. I could talk to you for hours more, but... Me too. It must come to an end.

Um, and if you like this episode of Why Won't You Date Me, you can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe, you can give me five stars on Apple Podcasts, and if you write me something nasty hitting on me to whywon'tudatemepodcasts.gmail.com, I will read it. This person says... Let's take mushrooms and go to karaoke. I know you won't be horny,

but while we wait for our song, I'll tease your clit under the table until you're begging for more. When our song comes up, we will take two wireless mics into the bathroom and I will fuck you while, I'll fuck you with one, while you sing with the other.

The song punctuated by the sound of your moans and the rhythm of the thr while you sing with the other. The song punctuated by the sound of your moans and the rhythm of the thrusting on beat with the song will get a standing ovation and two gentlemen with large penises will say they wanna get involved. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and both get fucked hard while singing our beautiful duet and being part of this dirty quartet. Signed, never sang karaoke in my life. Ha ha ha ha! That is so sweet.

Love it. Can't wait. Okay, bye bye! Bye! Bye! Why Won't You Date Me? With Nicole Byer is produced by me, Mars. It's executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, with talent

bookings by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Maddie Ogden. Got a question, crazy dating story, or a dirty message for Nicole? Write it to whywon'tyoudatemepodcasts at gmail.com for a chance to have it featured on a future show. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye bye. This has been a Teen Coco production.