Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer - Dating with Anxiety (w/ Lamar Woods)

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

Comedian Lamar Woods (New Girl, Grand Crew) joins Nicole to discuss their 2024 vision boards, taking yourself on self care dates, the best ways to manage anxiety while dating, and how to be open about your sensitivities to a potential partner. Check out Lamar's new album, Highly Sensitive Person at lamar-woods.com. Write something dirty to Nicole! Submit it to [e-mail] for a chance to have it read on air. Nicole has a new crowd working special! Watch it at youtu.be/OMrZshGJORg?si=5de666DSXrnlKfBU Follow Nicole Byer: Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerMerch: podswag.com/datemeNicole's book: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why! Oh baby! Welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me? A podcast where me and Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I'm still single. I did too many episodes where we didn't get to the bottom of it,

and nobody could figure it out because apparently, I don't know, life is just bad sometimes. Anyway, my guest is a person who I didn't realize I hadn't had them on the podcast. They're a friend. They wrote on Brooklyn, on 9-9, New Girl. They were on Grand Crew in a very hilarious cold open. They also wrote on Grand Crew. He co-hosts the podcast XOXO Gossip Kings, a Gossip Girl recap. Oh, my God.

I have COVID. A Gossip Girl recap podcast. His new album, Highly Sensitive Person is out now. I'm so excited. This verse is so funny. It's so wonderful. It's Lamar What? Yo, what up, what up? Hey Nicole, what's up girl? How you doing? I'm so sorry you're sick. I'm sorry to hear that. It's okay. We do record these out of order. So this is coming out in February. This is January. I just got back from Africa.

I went to South Africa. I went to Seychelles, Zambia, Zimbabwe. Didn't meet anybody. But I took this train from Pretoria to Victoria Falls from South Africa to Zimbabwe. Yeah. And I met this lovely couple on it. And I asked them how they met or whatever. And then Sashir talked about her partner.

And then everyone looked at me. And I was like, I don looked at me and i was like uh hi joe i don't have a partner right now but i have several meaningful friendships and then everyone laughed and then they went don't worry it'll happen for you and i was like and now i can't leave i'm stuck on a train and i have to like have dessert with these people who now feel bad for me. And it was just like, I'm millions of miles from home, and I still feel bad about being single. I know. I came here to have a good time, find myself, feel good about it. How did you have fun? I always wanted to go to Africa, like, and, like, visit there. I had a great time. I fucking loved Africa. I can't recommend the

continent enough. It was really beautiful. And there's so much to see. We only saw the southern part of Africa, but there's like northern Africa, central Africa. Like it's just I it's a beautiful continent. Like it's just stunning. I got to go. I mean, I feel that I feel you on the meaningful friendships thing, though. I feel like I've been single so long that I feel like all of my emotional energy has just built really strong friendships and I'm really proud of them yeah I'm really proud I'm really proud of these people that I love that I've curated in my life and then it's like yeah it would be really nice to like have somebody who's romantic but I'm like it's not happening so I love love my friends. What about your friends?

What about your friends? Are you single? You're single. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm single. Yeah, I've been single for a long time as well. Like, I was doing that. So I was on a date the other day and she asked me how long I've been single.

And I had to do the math. And it was about, I think, almost eight years, nine years, almost nine years. That's, I feel like, an illegal question. I don't think anyone should be allowed to be like, so how long have you been single? Bitch, don't worry about it. I'm here with you. I'm trying to do something nice with you. Don't ask me that.

Yeah, why are you bringing it? I'm already eating vegan for you. I don't want to eat this shit. I was so nice. She was like, because she's a chef, a vegan chef, but she wanted to show me a vegan spot. And I'm really like, I'm not even like, like I eat meat, but I'm open to anything. I like, I eat it, whatever. But I felt so bad.

I had to keep it 100 with her. I was like, this shit is nasty. And then I was like, this, like, it was, it was like a barbecue bacon burger. And I was just like a chorizo or something. It was just off the charts. Gross. But I told, I wanted to be honest. I went from like, I felt like I was already honest about the, how much I didn't like the

food that I could at that point on. I just could be honest about everything that I just gave her all of it. That is funny. When you make the choice on a first date to be like, I'll never see this person again. You could have all my thoughts. You could have everything that's ever been in my head. I do not give a shit.

I'll never see you again. Yeah, it's like, here, take this gift and just exist with it forever. And one day you'll reflect on it. That's really funny. It is like a, well, you know, I mean, I might go out with her again. I don't know.

But, you know, I'm not against dating a vegan, but I do realize like, I do want to have the same interest with somebody I'm dating, I think. Because it's like, it's always going to be a thing. And I like to eat out a lot. Like I like eating out. So like, it's just always going to be a, you know, a complication.

But, you know. Well, I feel like if you date a vegan, it has to be a vegan who is not like a preachy vegan. Yeah. Not who, like, looks down on you for eating meat. It's got to be a vegan who's like, like my friend, you know, Langen. Langen is a vegan who will go anywhere as long as they have one vegan item on the menu for her um but she doesn't give a shit what you eat so it's like you can go anywhere with her that's the kind of vegan i'd have to date yeah

where it's like we can go anywhere as long as like you're chill with the one vegan item and then every now and again we'll go to a full vegan restaurant for you. I agree. I think that's a beautiful. See, that's a great way to look at it. But yeah, I think like, you know, because I admire it. Like, it's not like I'm like, vegans get away from me. It's just like I actually I'm actually like I'm actually I think it's a beautiful thing. And I would love to.

I'm actually a Buddhist, so I should be not eating meat. But I was like but yeah I think you're right I think I don't like the anxiety of having to think about that kind of stress with something that I love to do so much you know but uh yeah so yeah but meaningful friendships that's what I have but I would love to travel next time y'all go to go to Africa let me know I'll pull up with y'all. I really... Okay. But yeah, I do want to go back to Africa. I want to go to Egypt. I want to see some pyramids. Yeah. I want to go to

Morocco. I want to go... There's a ton of places I haven't been yet that I really, really fucking want to go. Have you been to Japan yet? I want to go there this year. My hope is to go there. No, I want to go to Tokyo so bad. It looks like fun. You know Mano, right?

Mano just went with his husband and was taking the best pictures and shit. I just want to, I want a partner to travel with. Also happy to travel with my meaningful friendships. But like, it seems nice to like get on a flight with a partner, tee hee hee with your partner, and then like get off and like go fuck in a hotel room and then go sightseeing like a good yeah like immediately like as soon as we get off the plane we smash it we like you gotta like you know we're in the hotel we check in do that and then it's like where should we go let's go check out the vatican real quick yeah let's do the vatican real quick are you what kind

of uh travel person are you are you like organized more or you like just go with the flow kind of vibe no i'm so for this 12-day trip to africa i packed i started packing at 11 p.m the day before we left uh so that's the type of traveler i am i do everything last minute um i either underpack or overpack. This time I overpacked. Everywhere we went, people were like, are you staying here for a month? I was like, no. I just have the biggest

suitcase known to man built to the brim. Yeah. Also, I'm very cool with going with the flow. I'm very cool with flying to a location and not having a single thing planned. And then figuring it out while we're there I'm the same way yeah like if we're like walking down the street and we see like a cool thing a bar or something that that looks really interesting I'm like let's just go there and then and see where that takes us I'm very similar yeah

like my problem like I yeah that's how I feel I want a partner I could travel with because like my best friend Carl you know Carl he he he lived out of the country for a long time. He refuses to leave the country. He, like, loves America. No, I love America, too. God damn it. But, yeah, I. Loves America.

But my goal in life, like, I did it. We did vision boards for Phil. I'm just name dropping everybody. But at the homie birthday, we did vision boards for his birthday. And my vision board was all traveling, like outside of the country. Like, so that's like something I have to do, whether I'm in a relationship or not. So I got to fit. But I don't want to do it by myself.

It's kind of nerve wracking, like to be in a foreign country, like alone. I'm sure you felt that way. It is. I went to Dublin alone. And all I had to do was like, leave the hotel and explore because I was there for two nights that I could have done stuff. But I was so like nervous. I was like, I don't want to be like the loser lady in the corner of a bar. And then when I was on vacation, I was like, but I made friends. Like, people just talk and you could easily make friends. And I forgot about that when I was alone. Yeah.

But yeah, traveling alone is, I don't know, it's nerve wracking. And also, I love that you did vision boards. I did two vision boards in 2023. And I'm like, I guess I'm due for another one. Just got to put things in my eyesight of what I want. Like one is a loved one. And if a man comes to my house and is in my room, he's going to be like, are you well? Like, are you okay?

No, I have the same thing. Good sex, happiness, love. Yeah, let me see it. You know, good sex. How did you find that in a magazine? I had to cut out the S- S E X and it looks like ransom. Okay. This is my, it says, uh, like I have this woman right here.

It's just this like black woman in glasses. And then like, there is like, there was definitely a time where I had to went over it and she looked kind of like her. I feel like she looked at the post that she was like, is that supposed to be me? and she looked kind of like her. She looked at the post-it and she was like, is that supposed to be me? I was like, no, that's just a picture of some random person.

But I was like, this is what I'm looking for. That's very funny. So I kind of took it down. I was like, all right, people, this is really for me. I don't need people to see this. But I got that and a dog. I want to get a dog and an Oscar. I want to get an Oscar. I like that.

Those are, I mean, that's good. I wish I had mine near me, but they're in my eyesight. So when I wake up, I look at one and then the other one, when I go to the bathroom, I pass by it. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, it's like travel,

pictures of like water because I love water and boats because I love by it. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, it's like travel, pictures of like water, because I love water and boats, because I love a boat. And then I have a picture of a couple. Neither one looks like me or like the people I date or whatever. But I was like, I don't know. They look like they're happy.

Then I cut out S-E-X from different letters and it truly looks like I, you know, if I steal someone, if we have sex, you get your friend back or something. It looks like a ransom note. It looks like I you know if I steal someone if we have sex you get your friend back or something it looks like a ransom note it looks like I look deranged you cut the letters out separately from different magazines

I gotta find a word you couldn't find sex as one word couldn't find sex as a word the magazines were like and they're like different sizes so it looks wild you couldn't find sex as one word. It was just like, couldn't find sex as a word. The magazines were like, mm, uh-huh. Um, and they're like different sizes.

So it looks wild. Uh, but yeah, I have, so, okay. I spent four and a half hours on both vision boards. And I was just cutting,

just cutting, cutting, cutting, cutting. I don't know. I think they're helpful. Also, I feel like writing letters is helpful.

I, so I dated somebody for a little bit and right before I met them I wrote a letter to my future partner and then put it in the mail with a stamp and it just said from from Nicole Byer or just maybe Byer I don't know I don't think I put my full name and then I wrote Los Angeles, California as a return. And then to them, I wrote to my future partner anywhere in California close to me. And I put it in the mailbox. And then I met someone a couple months later. So I did it again. Because I was like, I think I'm ready to meet somebody. So I did it again. And I'm like, I wonder if someone from the post office just has a collection of these things for me because I've done it a couple of times. There's like a guy in the post office who's like in love with you right now. He's like, there's that girl again.

Don't worry. They're all trying to convince him to like shoot his shot and like show. But he's like, he doesn't want to just show up at your address. That would be crazy. Well, he doesn't know where I live because I didn't put my address there. And I so there's no address. So you don't have the return address. No, I just wrote Los Angeles, California.

No return. Just my first initial last name. And then I do put a stamp on it because I don't know why. Because I feel like that like makes the magic work. But I'm pretty sure someone at the post office is like, this girl's going through it. Or this girl knows what she wants this year. That's amazing. I've never heard of that. I like shit

like that. I like magic. I have an enchanted worldview, so I like doing shit like that to feel like, alright, maybe something in their universe is working for me. Well, good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.

We'll see. When did you send it out? I sent it out. Chris. Oh, wait. When did I send it out? Two or three days ago. I was like, it's the beginning of the year.

I got to get the magic working. Got to let the universe know that I'm ready and I'd like to meet somebody. Yeah. And then the apps are bad. Are you on the apps? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not fun. I don't like, I don't really like, you know, yeah. I'd like to meet people in real life. I'm realizing that just in person. Yeah. I'm also not really good at uh like even though I'm a writer I have a hard time figuring out what to say like I find myself saying or making a joke that I should make if we like knew each other for two years when I make it in like the first sentence like the other day I said this girl I was because I've been thinking about astrology lately and I was like she said

she had a really good day like a good afternoon today and I said oh said she had a really good day, like a good afternoon today. And I said, oh, like I had a really good day, like a chill day. Right. And she was and I and I was like, we were on the same page. Are you I said, are you are like, are you a water air sign like me? And then she was like, how'd you know? That was amazing. I can't believe you guessed that. I'm a we're both Gemini's. Right. And I go, I go, yeah, I'm from space, baby. And I go, yeah, I'm from space, baby. And I never heard from her again. It just stopped. We was on a good run, too.

I was like, we had a good run. And then it was just silence. And I was like, dang, that one joke. Also, first of all, that shit's funny. That's a funny joke. I think that's funny. I would have laughed really hard. I'd have been like, space, me too.

I'm from Jupiter. Or, I don't know, that's silly. Yeah. She was really hard. I've been like space. Me too. I'm from Jupiter or that's silly. Yeah. She was like, no, really. How did you she's like, how did you guess this? But yeah, I don't. And then another one, I file all these because I'm like, I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to get better at it. But I just I think I might just not be a date, a date in that person.

But I remember being like I was match with this girl during Christmas time and it was like she's like hi how are you and I was like hi are you you're excited to for Christmas like what gifts you want to get and then just nothing just like silence like I never heard what are we supposed to be saying to each other I don't know you you don't know me a very good question is what do you want for christmas i don't know i hope i'm hoping to get this perfume that i like yeah what are you hoping to get like it's not that fucking i hate when people are like how are you and i'm like great how are you or like bad i'm i'm not doing great i'm pretty sad about the impending holidays and that the world feels like it's ending.

How are you? There's this man on one of the apps who was like, he was like, I'm going to be in Europe. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm currently in Europe. This was over the summer. I guess I didn't realize it showed people exactly where I was on Riot. And then he was like i'm gonna be in new york later this year and i was like i'll actually be in new york later this

year and he's like when and i told him he's like that's exactly when i'm gonna be there and i was like all right well like hit me up when you're there and then he like hit me up when i was in new york and he's like when do i see you and i was like this is too much this is not that i wanted him to like forget about me, but I was like, I don't, it just, it felt like he didn't have a life. Yeah.

I had forgotten about him at that point. And, and I know people listening are like, but don't you want to date? And I'm like, yeah, but I don't want to date a psychotic person. And this person was giving me like crazy person vibes.

It was so wild. He was like, I'm here. And I was like, ah, okay. Are you? I don't know. He was like, I'm here. And I was like, ah, okay, are you? I don't know. I don't know what I want.

I just want like a normal, chill person. No, I feel you, girl. Like, yeah. And I just feel like, especially with dating apps, like I feel like I'm like a very, and I want to tell you a little bit about this highly sensitive stuff. Cause my album, I've named my after,

my album out after it. And I've been reading a lot about it but i uh find myself very as i heard you say this on a pod one that you like you're very like you tell your business to everybody i'm like yeah i'm very much like that but like uh i find on the app i can't connect like i can't get a connection with somebody even if we talk for a long time. And then when I meet them, I feel like I'm just meeting them for the first time. And it's like, so it feels like all of that, whether it's two weeks or a month,

it feels like it was all kind of a waste of time. Cause I'm like, now that I'm meeting you in person, I feel like I emotionally, I'm not connecting in the way that I was maybe imagining, like in my head during the app session but uh but I can't I mean people are crazy like like you don't know what you're really getting especially in the app it's all curated the answer so I'm not you know I'm not gonna bash the ass because I do I do know people who have found real love on it but I just think I'm the I'm that guy that's gonna

like I ain't got like I'll be at a bar and got no fear I'm not afraid to approach any women I'll I'll go talk to you if I if I if I you know if you seem nice and if you want if you want me to do that if you know you're not like you're not like running away from me you're not running away from me I would die so hard if I walked into a bar and a woman was running away from me and you're like hey hey come on and where you going baby. Where are you going? We're just running around the bar. I would just be like, you gotta leave that bitch alone.

You, she said, no, real quick. Oh, we got to take a break. I've had zero luck on the apps as of recent. It's, I don't know what it is.

I feel like right after the vaccine came out in like 2021-ish, everybody was like, oh, we're out here. I want a meaningful connection with somebody. And I went on some nice dates with people. And then as the years have gone on, I feel like everybody's back to being like a fucking shithead yeah it's like just people whacked and wild and shit like it's it's bad out here it is yeah i find i wonder if it's an la thing too like do you think it's an la thing did you live in new york you lived in new york too right how was it out there i lived in new york for eight years i loved it but also i was in my early twenties. So like I was always out, you know, at a bar or something or like a free thing I saw on time out in New York. Um,

and I would meet people all the time and I was always kissing people and shit. Um, never in a meaningful relationship, still had my meaningful friendships, but I just met a ton more people and like went out more and dated a lot more and with like you like you you ever go to mcmanus yeah yeah yeah mcmanus is so fun they sometimes they like lock you in till like three four five in the morning and then like you end your night kissing somebody that's where i spent my 20s so it was like yeah fun but now in la it's like gotta wake up and hike gotta wake up and work uh there's no like making out with people at bars because everyone's kind of clicky i don't it's i don't know i i don't have good luck and then everyone's very like la everyone is like thin and blonde and white

and i don't know i feel like maybe i'm just like not attractive to like men in a way. I think I'm attractive to like white women who are like, oh, my God, you're brave that you're fat and black and OK with it. Because we love that. We just wanted to come over and tell you how much you mean is how inspiring you are to us. But, yeah, I think I feel L.A. has a strange transient feeling where people are just like incapable of and I include myself in this too. I feel like I'm part of this, but it just feels like because I don't have family here, I just feel like I'm not really grounded. And I always found that my dating life has always been better when I dated someone who's

from here, whose family is here and who has like a has roots or something I don't know why is it maybe it's just something about just like you just like the the energy of just having to like keep moving or keep like keep surviving out here versus like I'm I live here I'm I'm settled in this in this space but uh but I don't know I you know I I'm I well I'll tell you this like. But I don't know. Well, I'll tell you this, because I've been in therapy for a few years now and talking about this a lot. But I definitely want to, I feel like for a while I've been shaming myself for being single for so long. Now I'm finally letting go of that. I think it's like, I'm like, for I for a while I thought oh maybe I'm like just

afraid like I meet I meet a really cool person and then I'll just bail on the relationship or like get out of it really quickly and I thought oh man I think I'm like I'm afraid of commitment or something but I was thinking I was you know I talked to my therapist and it's like I really didn't realize and you know I took this test it's highly sensitive person test and it's like I'm like I get overwhelmed by emotion and I was and I like in a it's like I take on people's emotion and I found that I when I look back through all the relationships I had I was like oh when I look back through those lenses I was like oh if I like knew how to deal with that or if I knew how to like manage that I think I would have had a lot more successful relationships. But I think I was so like everything, every, anytime anyone showed me

any like feeling or care, I was like feeling like overwhelmed by it. And I think I didn't know that it was an actual quality or actual part of my personality that's rooted in like, you know, from childhood or whatever. But so now I'm like, now I go, now I'll be, I'm one of those guys that goes to a relationship and be like, let me tell you all my issues. Like I'm highly so now I'm like now I go now I'll be I'm one of those guys that goes a relationship like let me tell you all my issues like I'm highly sensitive I'm like I got anxiety I'm on I'm on antidepressants I'm like uh this is what you need to know but like but it makes me feel better about like myself like and not feeling like I'm just like this guy that just like likes to be single because I really don't like I'm like a really romantic guy and I like I think like I I believe like I said I believe in magic you know like I'm the type of guy like I'll like

I'll yeah like I'll connect with anybody like it's very easy it's very easy for me to connect but on the flip side the the hard part is that is how to manage my uh the overwhelming feeling of like uh emotion and being sensitive and dealing with conflict or if we don't disagree if we disagree on something and the pain the pain that causes that last maybe it lasts a little longer for me to get over than like an average uh an average person but um anyway yeah that's what so i'm feeling good i'm here when i bet what i want to say is like i'm feeling okay about being single and i think you should too that's what I think hey that's nice I like go in and out of feeling okay about being single I'm like it's not the end all

be all being in a relationship I look at some people's relationships and I'm like yeah like I have a friend who's dating this person and I actually hate that person I think they're like I don't know this like actual loser like a real loser like it's like I haven't seen a loser in years like it's like yes this is a person where I'm like oh my god like you like you are taking L's everywhere you're not funny you don't get shit like you're just not fun to be near and I'm like well I as much as I want to be in a relationship I don't want that i don't want a like a person that everybody in my life thinks is a loser but won't say to my face um and then i look at other relationships where i'm like oh that seems to work on paper but then

when i hang out with y'all a lot i'm like oh i have a headache and i need to take a nap because your dynamic is too it's too much for me like And it's like, that might work for a lot of other people, but I'm like, I don't want that. I would like a relationship. So, okay, I met these people. I've mentioned them before. He's a tattoo artist in Atlanta. Oh, God, I can't remember his name, but whatever.

His partner is also a tattoo artist. They have a shop together, and his girlfriend is a piercer at their shop. They all get along. She also has another partner. They have separate rooms, but they sleep together sometimes. And they're so kind to one another. Yeah.

And they talk about things. And again, I don't actually know them, i think each tattoo well one tattoo took i think four hours the other one took like two and a half three hours so i was with them for like almost 10 hours and i was like at no point were they unkind to one another yeah and it's like their relationship and living dynamic is strange to i think a lot of people but i was like oh that works for them and they vocalize what they needed and they've adjusted in a way that makes sense to them and that they still can be really kind

and nice to each other. And I was like, huh, maybe I need a relationship that's like, that doesn't make sense to somebody else but makes sense to us. Yeah. I don't know what that looks like, but I'm an anxious attachment style, which I've learned because if I text someone and they don't text me back within 15 minutes, I think that they have left me and they hate me.

And that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. And that I have to let them know that if they don't answer me soon, I will walk into traffic. Which is, like, not okay to tell somebody. No. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's not okay to tell somebody. No. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's so, like, we, that's. It's bad. So, I'm, whatever you are, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the person who's not texting, I'm the

avoidant one. Uh-huh. So, I'm like, yeah, we would have trouble, but, but it'd be like, because I would be like, I would be like, oh, she need, I need to text her so she, to know, to make sure she knows that I still care about her, even if it it's even if I'm compromising something on my end but yeah I think that's uh but it defines someone who can like you can work on it with like and be like okay I know this about you I know and you know this about me so it's like I want to get to a point where you take like the subtext and a relationship is gone like there's no subtext it's

like we know we communicate so well with each other that that like if you say hey i'm gonna go see this movie do you want to come and you say uh you say no i don't really want to see that there's you're not like you don't have this like thought like oh she hates my taste and like she doesn't really want to spend time with me yeah yeah but that only worked that i feel like it only happens if you have a dope communication if you communicate so well that you don't have to like try to figure each other out and like and like figure out what's really going on annoying because I don't want to tell someone I'm interested in hi I'm very anxious that you're going to leave me because I have abandonment

issues so if I text you when you see it if you you could just say, hey, I'll get back to you when I can. That literally makes me feel OK. Even if like there's like 10 hours between that text and when you actually get back to me because you're working like you thought of me in the morning. But like, I don't want to tell that to someone in the beginning because it's like, oh, I'm going to scare them away with like all of these things I need. But then it's like, well, maybe I should be scaring away people who cannot give me the things that I need. Yeah, no, I'm just, yeah, that's a good point. Because I'm like, you know, I'll tell something. Like, I remember I told this girl, like, you know, on the first day I was like I deal with depression and like high like high anxiety.

And so there are times where I'll, you know, like I'll overthink and I need to like process it or I need space to process it. I would tell someone that that I'm really anxious. And I guess the catch 22 is when you're anxious, the thing you don't want is for people to like coddle you, you know, and like, and like try to protect your anxiety. So what happens is I'll tell someone that, and then they like overcorrect and they're like, they're like, Hey, we're going to do this. Is this okay?

And I'm like, and I'm like, actually, this is making me way more anxious. So now like, I regret telling you that, but like, I don't know. I don't know what's better, but like you said, it now like I regret telling you that but like I don't know I don't know what's better but like you said it's just trying to find someone that like you can tell those things to and then and it just worked like though that the couple you're saying like uh like it's just I think it just worked because they're both compatible in that way which is kind of cool yeah I don't know yeah it's it was very interesting to like watch and listen and I had a lot of questions And they were very very kind And were like oh yeah yeah here's how it works for us And it's interesting

With anxiety because I just Realize I have anxiety sometimes Like I took this dude I was dating to one of my shows And I didn't realize that I was anxious About that but I was like Oh if he doesn't like it That like might mean something about this dating or whatever.

Because it's like, and I did tell him, I was like, oh, if you didn't like my standup, I don't know if we would continue dating. And he was like, really? And I was like, yes, because then I wouldn't invite you to shows. And if I did invite you to a show, I'd be like, oh, he hates my work.

He hates this thing that is, yes, my job, but it's like me putting my, it's me. It's like a super personal thing. But yeah, I dated someone with anxiety and I discovered I have a little anxiety and they were really good at handling mine and I was like not great at handling theirs at times. Cause I would like rub their back or be like,

are you okay? And then they were like, Oh, that's not what I need. I just need to like feel it. And I need you to know that I'm having anxiety right now, but like just be normal. And I was like,

huh, but like something's wrong with you and I should comfort you. So there would be times where we'd be walking. They would tell me they were anxious about something. And then I would like go to touch them and be like, they told me not to touch them. And my hand would just linger. And they'd be like, oh, are you trying to touch me?

And I'm like, uh-huh. And I know I'm not supposed to. I'm so sorry. That's hilarious. I know exactly what he's feeling. But it's like, I don't know we're trying to figure this shit out like I just found out a few years ago that this is something like I've been dealing with panic attacks and and I just have and it's like I don't know how to date

I feel like I honestly feel like ever since I started having panic attacks and having anxiety it's actually affected my dating life in a real way. Like, I mean, I don't remember what it was before. It's hard to remember, but I just don't remember being that anxious, like as a person who's in relation, dating and seeing people. And now I'm like, it's like, I have to figure out how to like communicate this in a way that's like clear, but also like, you know, where I feel like I'm giving myself space to like process what's happening. Cause it's still new to me too. But I, because I empathize with someone who's, I think my, like I'm so empathetic to the person who's dating someone who has anxiety. Like when I hear that story, I'm empathetic towards your experience because I'm like, oh, I know that feels like

the right thing to do. And it's like, no one's really really helping like there's no one really kind of talking about how to really you know do like do that so you know i i you know i don't know what the answer is but i you know i love i would love someone to date someone and then just have their hand like slow like right behind me like not actually touching me but i think i think that would actually give me a lot of comfort like it's like i'm here yeah i'm here if you need me low-key that's what we i'm kind of kind of what like a little bit yeah like i need people i need people to be there for me like not close but close enough you know in case it goes in case you know i lose my shit like yeah and since he had anxiety i learned that like when i was feeling anxious i'd be like i think i'm

having anxiety i think i don't feel good and he'd be like, I think I'm having anxiety. I think I don't feel good. And he'd be like, well, what do you need right now? And I'm like, I feel very chaotic. So I don't think I need anything. I think I just need to like leave to go to the show now.

Um, and he'd be like, okay. And then would like talk to me in the car in a way to like, calm me down. And it was just like really nice it was like the things that worked for us worked and then all the things that didn't work didn't work yeah um but yeah i just like 2024 i think is gonna be my year um i infamously said

it for 2020 and that was not a year for anybody um but i do think this year is gonna be a good one and i'm like excited about it yeah in a way that i haven't been excited i was not excited about 2023 and then that was like not a great year for me yeah now that was that last year was a rough year and'm feeling good so far I feel like we're halfway in and I just feel like yeah it can't get any worse you know

but I'm like yeah I'm really excited to just like I think I'm just excited to connect with people I'm not like I don't know what I'm looking for I think I'm just a kind of I'm just like excited to connect with people like I'm not like I don't know what I'm looking for I'm not I think after the pandemic I spent the whole pandemic by myself like and like um and just really going through like a real period of isolation and I

was also hypercognitive so I was like I just couldn't do anything I was just like trapped in my house and uh I came out of it like I want a a family. I'm not that I'm not I never I never want to be alone again. And I think when I approach when I approach life that way, it doesn't really work out like it's because it's like, I'm, I don't know, like, it was like, when I was putting it out there, it was like I was getting rejected. And I think, I think now I'm just like, I'm just really interested in connecting with different types of people from different experiences. if it's one night or if it's one day or one week or three years five years ten years and and that and I'm just gonna have have a good time you know be myself I think because I think that I think I'm I think I'm I'm like becoming an adult I think I also feel like I'm becoming an adult,

which is so weird. Cause it's like, Oh bitch, I've been an adult. I feel like I'm settling into more of like, Oh, I don't need to talk to everybody, which I also miss.

I miss, I don't know. I, I keep coming back to being in Dublin and being alone. Had I been in Dublin alone in my early twenties, I would have gone out. I would have been like, but I'm like more aware that like i was the only black person i had seen for hours

i was like more aware of like what if i'm a weirdo to all these people do i want to deal with that aftermath and like yeah go to sleep with jet lag being like i was just so weird for two hours and i think more about how I'm like coming off to people, which I don't like, but also it is good to be self-aware. And I don't know, being an adult is confusing because I don't feel like one. Right.

I, yeah, I know what you mean. Like, I feel like, yeah. Like you ever just feel like a child, like,

like I sometimes like, I'm just playing around. Like I'm in my house, like, like you ever just feel like a child? All the time, all the time. Like sometimes I'm just playing around. I'm in my house like playing literally. Like I'm like playing with toys. I'm just like, I don't know. I don't have like a sense of like, it's like I feel like the adult things I'm trying to learn are like, like I don't want to lose, like what you're talking about.

I love that. Like, I love you. You're like such a great presence. And I, you know, when you're whenever you're around, I'm like, I feel so happy, you know, and also just so great to work with you on Grand Crew, too, just to say that and see watch you work up close. But I, you know, I think so. It's not that I want to like change.

I think the adult thing is actually being so down with who I am, like having the self-awareness, but then being like, I'm so into this guy. I'm into myself. Like I'm so into how I'm portraying myself. Because I'm the kind of person that's like, I'm so worried about making sure everyone is happy around me. So I think what I want to be an adult, it's like I'm learning how to be like, oh, if someone's like, hey, do you want to go out tonight? And I kind of feel like staying home. Maybe a year ago, I would just go out

and just do it just because I don't want to disappoint anyone. And now I'm getting better about just being like, I'm going to stay home tonight. Even though it's like an hour long, like I have to like go through a process to be able to say, I'm actually going to tell this person no, even though they could care less. On their end, they're like, they don't care at all

if I'm coming or not. But I'm like, I'm like spinning around like, all right, how do I tell this person I don't want to go out tonight without offending them? But I'm like, it's like literally just like learning how to like advocate for my own needs but uh in terms of like so that makes you feel like I'm becoming adult because I've been trying like even at the restaurant like being like sending food back is like a huge deal like I sent food back the other day I feel so good about it like I've been like living off that high for like a long time because I was like I'm so afraid

to do that I'm like ah just like this is the wrong order and i'll just take it i'll just eat it eat the wrong food you're just like it's fine i'll eat this whole i i ordered a steak but this is pasta and it's fine i'll just eat it and i will tip you 25 percent oh my brain will actually like in that moment will like instead of even being, like, they were wrong, I would be, like, maybe they think I deserve pasta. Like, maybe they wanted to give me pasta because they, like, know something that I don't know. Like, I'm going through this whole process of, like, trying to justify this mistake, but they just, like, fucked up, you know? They just fucked up. I love sending food back.

I love being, like, nope. Especially, like, someone else's food. Someone who doesn't want to speak up. I'm like, this is wrong. And they want to X, Y, and Z. But I won't do it for myself. I don't know why. There's been several occasions where like someone has made me uncomfortable or has like

entered my personal space and I let it happen. And then a friend turns around and is like, what are you doing to her? And I'm like, I don't like it. And they're like, why didn't you say something? And I'm like, I don't know. Because I think I'm willing to be a little uncomfortable if everyone else is comfortable. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly it.

Yeah. An insane people pleasing type thing. But like I like when everyone else is happy. And I'm like, I could be a little uncomfortable for a while. I was like in a bar with Sasheer and this man was like in my personal space and she truly turned around and was like, get out of her space, get away from her.

And then she asked me, she's like, why didn't you say something? And I was like, I don't know. I just looked around and everyone was having a good time. Oh my God. You're speaking about, that's exactly how I be feeling. Like I just looked around and everyone was having a good time. Oh my God. You're speaking about, that's exactly how I be feeling. Like I was at the gym the other day and like, I'm just like really paranoid about germs and stuff.

But like, so the guy, the guy was using a machine, but I went to use it after and he like totally cleaned it and, you know, did his thing. But I like waited till he wasn't in sight of the machine so I could clean it again like but I didn't want him to feel bad like he did a bad job or something I was like I just want you to know I don't think you're dirty I just like this is like my thing but it's like it's like I it's like why do I even give a shit with like this I don't even know this person but uh but yeah it takes a lot of mental. It's kind of exhausting, that way of thinking.

So try to learn not to do that. I mean, it is what it is. When I used to go to the gym, I would be the same way. I would watch someone clean a machine and then I'd be like, all right, let me get up in there and clean it just as well, if not worse. But for whatever reason, it made me feel better because I was like, I'm doing it. I'm yeah. Everything I think I'm going to touch, I'm getting. And I don't know if they actually sprayed enough of the cleaner on their stuff.

It's it's it's a fun it's a fun time to be alive. OK, we have to take one more break. What gym do you go to? In Equinox? No, no. I actually started going, I used to go to Planet Fitness. And, you know, I like that because it was like, you know, the judgment-free zone. Like, everyone's like, you're not allowed to be like a meathead in there. And, but, you know, it just was always crowded.

So I ended up going, did you come to my New Year's party? Did you come to that? No, because I was in Africa. Oh, you was in, oh yeah. So, oh no, it was last year. I was in, what was my last year year. But I was in last year. Last year, I was also in Africa. I was in Africa for New Year's. Sorry, can't come to anything. Every time I invite you to hang out with me, you're like, I'm in Africa, Lamar.

But so anyway, I had this party at this place called the L.A. Athletic Club. And they get in because I use that venue venue they let me do a membership there and uh I love it there because it's like all it's I mean it's super racist but like I mean I won't say the company I would say it's racist but it's definitely been around since slavery like when you look at the pictures on the wall you're like oh I don't I'm not supposed to be here but I like it because it's like just me and like all 80 year old white dudes and i'm like they're not trying to tell me how to like lift weights but so i love it it's like it's like makes me feel really safe very funny um i also went to planet fitness for a while when i lived in new york and then i just recently saw an instagram

video of this woman who was like i go to Planet Fitness and people have been complaining about how I smell. I thought this was a judgment-free zone. How are you supposed to smell in the gym? And I was like, girl, you must be stinky for someone at Planet Fitness to complain about. I have been to Planet. I have smelled the smells at Planet Fitness. Yeah, Planet Fitness be stinking. It be stinking it'd be stank in that movie i saw a motherfucking i saw a motherfucking in there working out in a

mailman outfit like i was like yo the weirdest shit happens at planet fitness it's crazy i saw a woman eating a calzone on a treadmill at planet fitness and i was like you could do anything you fucking want here. This is more than judgment-free. This is just a zone where you can exist however you fucking want to. Have you seen the commercial? There's a commercial out right now

with Meg DeStallion promoting it. It's the most insane commercial I've ever seen. Like, Meg DeStallion plays, like, this genie. Like, she's like a magical workout genie she's like like calling people out for being judgmental it's like we don't do that the thotties the hotties don't do that it's just like I just like in my it's just so funny to see rappers like like talk like line themselves up with brand like when I was I mean I'm saying my age but when we were younger it was like not cool to be like a rapper couldn't like line himself up with a commercial brand.

That was like not the cool thing. Unless it was Sprite. Yeah, because Sprite was awesome. But yeah, I got to see that commercial. It was like it's the funniest commercial, but I love Meg, but it was like it was great. It was just it was just like this has nothing to do with exercise. It's just Meg being like no judgment how do you judge it's like a purple cloud she's like floating over the gym like it's crazy anyway oh you'll see it

soon watch i swear to god you're gonna now that i've told you you're gonna see it all the time probably and i can't fucking wait to see it all the time i had a like a dream when i would go to the gym a lot i'd be like maybe i'll meet someone at the gym but then i'm like do i want to meet someone at the gym i'm barely at the gym uh and then i'm like how do i want to meet someone so i'm being like you're doing that wrong and it's like no i don't know how i want to meet anybody yeah i just i want this to be easier also I'm like I want to meet someone on set but everybody on set's married and shit yeah like what do you I mean would you let me ask you this are you more interested do you feel more comfortable dating someone in the in business or

like someone who's just like a direct no like a person who's just outside the industry completely or you don't care I don't know if i care but the more time i spend with actors the more i'm like oh i simply don't want to date one of y'all uh especially like just a like a legit actor who doesn't do comedy like they don't have a whimsy about the job and they don't have like a twinkle about it it's like very methodical and like here's why I'm saying this and coming this way. Should I try it that way? And it's like, oh, yeah, you have a lot of you think a lot about yourself in a way that I don't. And then I'm like, I don't want a comedy person.

I tend to feel like comedy people are always aspiring for somebody better than them, but not necessarily career wise looks wise. Like I so like I don't I like, I don't want that. And then I've dated, like, normal people who have, like, jobs bartending, editors, and nothing has, like, really, like, popped or anything, but I do think I want someone, like, adjacent to it. Like, I think I would like a cinematographer or, like i do think i want someone like adjacent to it like i think i would like a cinematographer or like a camera operator a grip set design problem man i got it i got a camera out for you this dude is cock diesel he looked good as hell really he was

like me and my homie were like we were it was on an episode uh well i won't say he'll know he'll know but it was uh it was on episode of shaw's workout it was like an episode uh well i won't say he'll know he'll know but it was uh it was on episode of show i was working on it was like being my my homie was directing and i was the writer on it and we just like and you know we were like two like soft ass skinny dudes and then uh like this guy was like he had this camera right next to us and it's just muscles were just like bulging and we kept looking at each other like man that's a real man right there i was like i was like i was like i mean i should hook him up with nicole that's what i should do you should please do tell him about me that's funny that you said that's a real man because when i met june diane rapha, I've said this a bunch on the podcast, when I met her, I was like, that's a woman.

She wears white. And she's like, when I met her, she was head to toe in white. And I was like, she's not afraid of getting juice on her. And it was like, no, she's a real woman who's not drinking juice. I'm like, when will that happen for me? But yeah, tell the camera operator about me.

I would love to be set up in a way like with somebody who's a nice person who has a job like yeah yeah what yeah let me yeah maybe we can hook each other up like i don't know i'm just looking for someone who's like nice you know like i'm like so i'm so conflict avoidant i just need like i just want to yeah i want to uh yeah i just want to like kick it you know like a best friend you friend, someone I'd be the homie with. But I do what you mean. I feel like I do this thing a lot that makes me feel like I'm not a real man. But when I come home and I try to put my keys in the lock, I constantly end up dropping them.

I try to put them in the lock and I drop them five times before I get inside the house. I feel like a real man doesn't do that. I feel like a cartoon man does do that. Like a full-blown cartoon, just dropping your keys. I also drop my keys a lot. Or so I, in my car, if I valet my car, I have to take my key off because I have too many keys on and they get annoyed with me. So I just take it off. But if I don't put it back on immediately, I will leave my car key in the car. If I put my phone in the wrong spot, I will leave my phone in the car. And then I get upstairs to my house and I go, well, do I need my phone for the rest of the night? And then it's always like, yeah, Nicole,

that's your alarm. You got to go get it. I'm always leaving shit in the car. Me too, yeah. I left my window down the other day. I was throwing something away and I was like, huh, my window's not tempered. Like, I can see right into my car. And then I, like, put my hand on the window and there was no window. And I was like, oh, fuck. I just left the window down for, like, a day.

Oh, shit. Yeah, I done the same shit. But I have the same mental process where I'm like, man, you can really see in that motherfucker. And then I'm like, oh, this shit is open. Oh, there is no fucking window. Oh, no. Yeah.

I'm also a bad driver, too. I'm like, yeah, I just want to step it up on all those kind of things. Just little things. Little tweaks I'm going to make. But, you know, ladies, I know y'all listening. But, you know, I got something to offer. I think I do so I think you do too I think you're great yeah I have a question for you you've gone on the record about liking Lil Dom's lasagna just by being lactose intolerant what is it about Lil Dom's lasagna that you like so much

uh I think I just think it's hard to find good lasagna in this city. I agree. I don't necessarily like Lil Dom's the best. It's not the best lasagna I ever had, but they would only do it on that Tuesday. Friday. Oh, it's Friday now? Is that what happened?

Because I went back on Tuesday, and they were like, we don't do this shit no more. And I was like so pissed. They should have told you. They do it's Friday now? Is that what happened? Because I went back on Tuesday and they were like, we don't do this shit no more. And I was like, so pissed. They should have told you. They do it on Fridays now. I don't know. I'll have to sign to the newsletter to hit me up.

But I was like, man, what time at Little Dow? Just a quick start. Because one thing I do a lot, I don't know if you do this as a single person. I like take myself on dates a lot. So I'll do like, I'll like I'll like literally have a conversation myself like where do you want to go tonight I'm gonna take you somewhere nice and we're gonna get dressed up and uh and I was like let's go a little dance keep it local you know I'm saying and uh it was like popping that night and it was Tuesday I was ready for lasagna

but anyway this is not lasagna related it's you know, you just reminded me of that. So I get there and man, I swear to God, it was like a lot, you know how that outside has that patio right there? And it was like, so the host like

walks me to my table and it's just like a line of beautiful women just like having a great time. And then there was like this whole table of like, like they would have to be like, I don't know,

just like young girls or whatever. And and i sit she sits me in the chair and it's and i just immediately fall out of my chair like in front of everybody and like no it was like i it was just like this day is ruined it was just like the worst the worst self-care day ever but oh no but yeah no i if honestly i'm gonna try to learn because i've been cooking a lot i'm gonna try to learn how to make lasagna because i really because like being like oh yeah the lactose thing yeah i'm trying to i just take the pills now if it's something i really like like like pizza i just don't eat no more or like like any kind of cheese like that's like if it's something like lasagna. Why did I say lasagna like that?

Lasagna. I liked it. Lasagna. Like if it's some lasagna. Lasagna. I don't care if it's feta cheese, gouda, manchego. I'll eat the hell out of that shit. I love I'm like Garfield, but I'll eat that shit. But what else has cheese in it?

Mac and cheese. Cheese fries uh mac and cheese cheese fries mac and cheese yeah uh i ate little dom's lasagna every friday for a full year and now i can't i've had too much of it uh i can't believe they're doing it on fridays now okay i gotta i'm gonna go and you can't just order it online. You have to go in and get it. And then they won't let you have it to go. You have to start it there, and then you can pack it up. There's so many rules, and I don't understand why. Yeah, I'm sick of little dongs, honestly.

I'm sick of little dongs. But if you find a good lasagna spot let me know if you find one let me know i fucking love lasagna i think it's really good i make a pretty decent lasagna but i've only done it twice yeah um and i'm like maybe the third time will be bad i don't know also i tried cooking more to keep this man in this, this guy that I was dating. And then in hindsight, it was like it ended up being good because now I know I can make pretty decent chicken. Yeah, I can make pretty decent pasta. What else did I make that man? I made a cheesecake for him.

Wow. And I can make a very good cheesecake now. Oh, that's the other one. Cheesecake and lasagna. That's the one I'll break my rules for. Like, I love cheesecake so much. And yeah, I'll just sack. Like, it's like I'm like going,

like I'm like, you know, I'm committing to destroying my night. You know, I'm just like, I'm just going to eat this. Like, we're going to get down. There's this really, this place called Horses has really good, it's like goat cheese,

cheesecake. It's so good. Horses. I think that's the restaurant where it was a couple who started it. And then they started, like, killing cats or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut that out. I was like, that is so funny. I was like was like i'm gonna recommend this restaurant fully knowing about this thing you're about to say but i was like maybe maybe not everyone knows that yet no listen keep it in i love that you recommended it but if you go to bon appetit.com it says what's happening inside horses the bu.A. restaurant now shrouded in drama. The chef's owners have a very public divorce. It's pretty wild.

And I haven't been yet. To be fair, he wasn't killing cats at the restaurant. Like he was doing it at home. He was killing them on his own time. Yeah. He was doing it at home. Yeah. I mean, is it still open?

Home life balance um yeah it is i don't think that chef is there but i think it's uh i still i think it's still rocking how funny how wild that is so wild oh yeah still up still on resi uh they do have oh they have tons of reservations so i don't know if they're doing well for today and tomorrow. I'd be curious how much that affects. Maybe they're on their way out. Maybe it's pretty much done for them. I don't know.

Maybe. Maybe. That's a pretty rough scandal. I heard it was really good. That's a crazy scandal to have. It's terrible to be like, you're killing cats and shit. I would be like, oh, no, I got to get out of here. I wouldn't defend myself. I'd be like, uh-oh. Yeah., I would be like, oh, no, I got to get out of here. I wouldn't defend myself.

I'd be like, uh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nuts. I'd be on the run. Let me get the hell out of here. Yeah. But before, you know, I had the cheesecake, just for the audience.

I had that cheesecake before I knew anything about the cat killing. I would never support anything like that. I like that you've gone on the record to say that i feel the same way i probably will never go to the restaurant because they're very badly behaved um well lamar we really have ended no we've come to the end oh my god um do you have any okay you're single but do you have any advice for single people i don't know or do you have any, okay, you're single, but do you have any advice for single people? I don't know. Or do you have any advice that you're trying to follow? I was trying to do this book called Calling in the One and I hit a roadblock on it.

And I've mentioned it several times and I really like doing it. And people I've talked to are like, oh, I've met someone after doing it. But I came to the conclusion, why do I have to do a book to find love when other people don't? So now I'm not doing it anymore because I'm like, what the fuck? So do you have any advice for single people? My advice? I don't have any advice. I mean, I'm just like my advice is just to be at peace with it, because I think I think the more I think about it the more single I am

I don't know it's just like the more I stress I think I just gotta like focus on something else and then I think the other thing will come but and I think I don't know all my advice is like really cliche and lame like one is be yourself

because you know I used to be like if a girl didn't respond to me or like we went on a couple dates and she kind of goes to me I would like really question myself and like who you know and I'm starting to feel like okay there's someone out there like I don't need to like change or do anything for anyone I'm just like I'm just gonna be that person and I think there'll be some there's got to be somebody that will like that then and I think actually I think there's got to be somebody that will like that. Then, I think work, like I be going on these hikes and that should be making me happy. It's keeping me, I think, and I'm also maybe because I'm like, I'm also off my medication right now, off my antidepressant. And I was like, so I'm like trying to find ways to have dopamine.

And I think exercise is keeping me sane. So I think those things that you know they'll make you know i think it you know but i think um what the fuck do i know i don't know i've been single for eight years like i'm out of control i mean i don't know i think that's like a nice thing to like take care of yourself everything on the internet that's like how do you deal with being single is like take care of yourself yeah do nice things for yourself so i've been trying to do that too uh not since i've been back because i've had covid but i do these workouts with this man named daniel who like yeah i recommend the the self-care yeah yeah he tells me i can do it during the workout and sometimes i go no i can't

daniel and then it's not like i've memorized where he says you could do it but sometimes i'll be like then sit down if you can't do it right now sit down and then i'll not like I've memorized where he says you could do it, but sometimes I'll be like, then sit down. If you can't do it right now, sit down. And then I'll be like, I don't need to Daniel. And then he's like, that's right.

Keep going. And then at the end, he like pumps his fist in the air. And then there's like, there's music that's like, we did it together. And for whatever reason, that corny shit works for me.

And it feels really good. And I'm like, we did all do it. That fat lady in the corner did it. I did it. The other lady in the corner did it. He did it. We all did it. And it makes me feel good. And I'm like we did all do it that fat lady in the corner did it I did it the other lady in the corner did it he did it we all did it and it makes me feel good and I was like maybe that works for me it might work for other people

but who knows yeah but I'm I'm into the whole working on yourself gig I think that's good yeah I think that it's the only thing you can control I think at the very least so like that I think that helps yeah but so we'll see we'll check in let's let's check back in in a couple weeks control, I think, at the very least. I think that helps. We'll see. We'll check in.

Let's check back in in a couple weeks. Let's go to Dent. In a couple weeks? I don't know. Shit's going to change in a couple weeks. Maybe a couple... I don't know. You never know. Balance I say just happens. Let's go get some lasagna somewhere.

We could find a place. I would love to get lasagna. When I recover from COVID, let's do it. Do you have anything you want to promote, Lamar? Just my album. It's called Highly Sensitive Person. It talks a lot about what we just talked about. And it's available.

If you want to buy it directly from me you can go buy it on my website and if you don't, it's on all the streaming platforms, Spotify, Apple Tidal and it has a lot of dope people on it like Open Mic Eagle and Cool Produce

it's very it's probably the most personal I've ever gotten on an album so I really want people to hear it. I'm excited about it. I'm excited to listen to it. Yeah. It's going to be great. Let me know what you think.

All right. I'll buy it from you. That's what I'll do. I'll support you. Yeah. I'll have Spotify. I guess I could listen to it on Apple. No, I'll buy it from you.

That's a nice thing to do. Yeah. Also, Lamar, I ask everybody this. I forget sometimes, but would you date me? Of course I would. I would definitely date you. Are you crying? Did I just make you cry? No, it just didn't sound very sincere, but that's okay. Yeah,le i definitely date you whatever lamar we'll get lasagna we'll get drinks it's gonna be great if you like this episode of why won't you date me you could like it you could rate it you can subscribe i did make the mistake of reading comments while i was sick and some of you are mean but a lot of you are very very very nice

um i will say that i had a lot of nice comments it's just those mean ones that really stick out sometimes but again what you think of me is none of you none of my business anyway i celebrate the people who like me this nice person wrote me a nasty message and if you write me a nasty message hitting on me to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com i'll read it it. Okay. Let's eat cake. Like a little, like the little pig sluts. We are.

We'll use our thighs as plates and 69 side or sideways 69. While we eat slices of cake laws and physics don't apply with cake. Your clit will taste so sweet. While I fist and finger you until you moan with delight. After we both finish, we will pop a flaggle. A flag, flaggle? I don't know what that is.

Oh, to prevent yeasties. Sip coffee or tea in bed and have deep talks about life and love. Then I'll big spoon you and cradle you with my little legs while we fall asleep. The end. That was nice. Thank you so much for calling me a little pig slut. Okay, Lamar. Bye. Bye bye bye nicole i'll see you later that's it for why won't you date me with me nicole byer why won't you date me is produced

and engineered by oh the sweetest woman i know mar Marissa Melnick. It is executive produced by other wonderful people, Adam Sachs, Joanna Solo-Taroff, and Jeff Ross. Thanks for listening. I love you. Thank you so much. We'll be seeing you next Friday with a brand new episode. What a dream. What a dream. Ha, ha, ha.

This has been a Team Coco production.